#but even then she still had the makeup
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does dc have like. any adult butch women? at all? the closest example i can think of is karsta wor-ul but she's not a recurring character and that's like. literally it. surely im forgetting some... onyx maybe counts... but like dc still always draws women so feminine like they Have to have form-fitting clothes and big boobs and full faces of makeup it's hard to actually call any of them butch designs. (not that women with big boobs or form-fitting clothes can't be butch but like in terms of character designs clearly made by straight men you know?)
#karsta is butch i mean but she's not exactly a major character#she appears in like 3 issues of action comics#sorry im just thinking about that shit with cassie being a ''princess girl'' again#dc have major female characters who don't look like barbie dolls challenge: failed immediately#but also i feel insane surely there's SOMEONE right like???????#karsta probably only counts to me bc the artist for that arc did at least draw her with muscles and all#but even then she still had the makeup#this is rambly idk im just sooo. you know#hashtag feminism is when all the women are skinny and traditionally feminine with long hair and makeup but it's EMPOWERING#rimi talks
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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they will never free my girl nina from that atrocious hair
#simblr#my sims#dina caliente#nina caliente#i think i figured out what was tripping me up abt thier new look#n its that i always thot sims 2 nina n dina had a more warm orange undertone this new one seems more cold or nuetral#w the hair n makeup it looks funky on them#it doesnt match thier undertones so they just look tired in this look i feel the same about what they did to bella goth she cant wear#bright reds like the first bella did shes a dark wine red girly now#im keeping my OG dina makeover just toning down the eyes i love her too much even tho she doesnt really look related to nina#ah well in my head thier still aliens but scary looking this is just thier human disguise#not making them real aliens in game tho it fucks up thier faces so im using cc costumes but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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any fucking way.
#asexual queen#savannah price#deserves respect and you will fucking give it to her#like her in-game skintone is ATROCIOUS she's grey i get changing it - i had to. but she's also still black bro#also she's a geek that wears 0 makeup even in her prom outfit#she doesn't need more than chapstick MAYBE mascara that big ass weave makes NO sense.#the braids are absolutely for convenience
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you can always tell the people who give social media advice who are naturally or conventionally attractive even without even having to look at a photo of them cause they're always the ones that recommend showing your face in reels or videos to promote your art and it's like,,, talk about pretty/skinny privilege lol
#it's one of those days folks#brb going on an extreme diet (jk but not really)#okay but really. all jokes aside Even if I WAS thin or lost a bunch of weight...#I'm still just fundamentally unattractive enough that I think i would lose insta followers if I showed my face in reels or posts 🥲#idk I know it's better for the algorithm but eh. i don't want to subject my subscribers to having to look at me lol#and I would wear makeup but I'm so bad at putting it on that I look worse with it on 😭😂#If i was good at make up i legit wouldn't leave the house without it#that said. i do have decent skin health 🤔 I get like. less than 1 pimple a year IF that. So that's something to be grateful for i suppose#but if a genie offered me a chance to be pretty for ONE day but in exchange I had to give up ALL my talents. interests. personality. etc#and i could never get those aspects of myself back for the rest of my life...#I would 100% take up that opportunity LOL 👍#anyway feel free to ignore me I'm not looking for compliments (I don't think anyone on here even knows what i look like?)#(which is by design lol and trust me. be grateful you don't have to look at my face haha)#I'm just venting into the void bc a mutual on insta did a reel where she showed her face and I was like#*shocked pikachu face* oh she's pretty#oh. oh so THAT's why i never should show my face. I'm pretty toad-like in comparison 😂
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white man experiences racism for the first time. sad!
#Every time I instinctively select Astarion to lead the party and try to talk to someone and they say I smell like shit and to fuck off#im kinda like. good. put him in his place. this is lae'zel's turf#bg3#aslo when he stands directly in the sunlight he hurts my eyes ALDKJSLGK#Also I have a mod that removes the girls' makeup so that's why my kar and lae look prettier than your games' does#ugh I cowered away from wyll art and sc with horns for so long because i thought it was act iii spoilers#but it turns out it's a good thing that happens five minutes in that usually everyone does because it's good#and I'm the only person on earth who fucked up and lost karlach bc I saved a child from being murdered in cold blood#which started a battle in the grove#so to be in character i had wyll kill karlach because i couldn't recruit her but i found her head in a chest and can't play that save anymo#after starting this second playthrough as astarion and becoming friends with karlach#and how she is so kind and loving and affectionate even though she feels no approval towards astarion#literally the other two are high approval but karlach is stuck firmly at neutral or fair#but she still talks to me like a friend and that makes me cry and i killed her in cold blood before i even knew her and i didn't mean to#sorry i hope i get meds that makes me care about humans as much as i care about characters :(
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hit me wit da 😇
😇 Blorbo: I will choose the one who made me follow you--Nice Holystone! Baccano was such a formative watch for me in high school, especially when 'female characters BAD' and 'het ships BORING' were unfortunately common in fandom discussions. Baccano has such great examples of fun female characters and het ships, and Nice has the best of both worlds. Awesome character design (glasses + eyepatch! scars!), fun personality (genuinely a nice and sweet person despite her kinda scary appearance! Pushes her dear milquetoast boyfriend to be less timid without making him too uncomfortable! maybe a little too much into explosives!), and a total badass to boot. Also, great casting in both the original and the dub! Both are great at being the coolest lady you'll ever meet, but also Colleen Clinkenbeard hit that Chicagoan accent pretty damn well.
But damn, her relationship with Jacuzzi? Maybe the first time I really vibed with a canon relationship in an anime. Admittedly, before then I mostly watched bad shounen, magical girl, and gag anime, but I am so, so weak for characters being comforted about their scars so 'I'll get a tattoo on my face so we both stand out and you don't have to be alone' was earth-shattering. They're just cute AF!!! They're best friends and they're in love and they've got each other's backs.
#I went to a convention that Colleen Clinkenbeard was doing authographs at and even though I hadn't worn it in five years at that point#I brought out my Nice cosplay again just to meet her and get her autograph#it was 2015 so Baccano was long out of the mainstream and I didn't even bring my DVD to sign so I was kinda embarrassed#but she was just :DDD Look at you!!!! and it was great#incidentally we were staying on the same floor of the hotel but I had to quick change into Saber so she most likely did not recognize me#but I still had the scar makeup on my arms from earlier lol#sorry this became a bit of 'otp' halfway through but tbh you cannot separate them.
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i've got a lot of Fat Girl Trauma™️ from just BEING a fat girl that exists in the world
but one universal experience that i've always been able to actively avoid due to my dislike of clubbing/dive bar culture, was being The Fat One in a group of skinny girls at the bar and being the only one that doesn't get asked to dance...
That is, until like... last night ._.
#im just not a bar girlie#it isnt for me#i dont like loud places or drinking at a place i cant stay the night or around strangers#but it was a really good friends birthday and i wanted to make sure she had a good DD go get home#and man even though its just NOT my scene i still got dolled up and put on my most flattering clothes and my makeup looked so good#and i know i put myself out there in just about the same way my friends did#and men kept walking uo to our table to ask them for a dance while i sat on bag duty the whole night....#...sigh...#at least i got a few dances in with the birthday girl#that was still fun#~°•*andy says things#~°•*andy rants
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Crazy how “fatherless behavior” is always directed towards women for doing things that if a man was doing it you wouldn’t think twice
#the exception is sometimes queer men#i still see it directed towards trans men probably bc the commenter still sees them as a woman#and I’ve seen it a few times directed towards cis gay men who are doing something overtly feminine#like wearing dresses and makeup and stuff#which is still misogyny !#but like I just saw it commented on this video of a woman saying she was going to a rave#literally that’s it she was talking about going to a rave#but women aren’t allowed to enjoy music I guess!! she must be fatherless!!#MAYBE it had to do with the way she was dressed? but it was just appropriate rave clothing it wasn’t even anything particularly notable#if it had been a man you wouldn’t have cared#even if he was like covered in tattoos with 15 different hair colors#as long as he was cis and still masculine he would not have been accused of fatherlessness#sometimes opal says stuff
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I’m gonna challenge my subconscious to a fist fight and I’m gonna lose
#i had a dream that mabel kept coming back to life just to sniff stuff or investigate food that she liked#she was still dead but i’d buried her instead of cremating her and for whatever reason i was either digging her up#or she was digging herself up and sniffing and eating stuff#and i was like ‘she’s CLEARLY still alive if she can do this’ and everyone was like ‘no she’s dead you have to bury her again’#whenever she fell asleep she would be dead again. like she’d stop breathing and her heart would stop#i don’t know if she was like. a vampire dog? but it was so upsetting to dream#this is the second sad dream i’ve had about mabel in the course of like 3 days.. no less because the last one made me wake up in tears#on friday morning. and like it’s brought me to my knees honestly. i can’t DO this#also in my dream i went to a careers advisor or life coach or something and they were really mean to me lol#and my family made me go with them to visit some people i didn’t know who insisted on serving us cups of tea#it was really strong hot tea and i don’t really drink tea like that#and my grandma’s friend who was the loveliest woman and died a few years ago was there#and she was just absolutely pouring milk in her tea even though it was overflowing and going everywhere#and mabel was there accosting their terriers even though she was supposed to be dead. it was too much#in another part of the dream my old roommafe (who i really didn’t like) was pressuring me to go drinking with her even though mabel had just#(dubiously) died. and i was like ‘you do realise i’m going to get absolutely paralytic and scream and cry about my dog the whole time’#there was also this subplot where like everyone i knew but me had been in a play and the stage makeup had been made from ‘magic beans’#that stained everyone blue. so everyone i met had randomly blue eyebrows and stuff#there was one man who was just fully blue#also i was supposed to be in the world championships for a game that was like tetris but more esoteric but the servers broke down#or something like that. i think that’s everything#i’m just like.. why make me bawl at 6:30 on a sunday morning. what’s the advantage of that#i’m supposed to be taking care of benji and he’s looking at me like ‘god this woman is a basket case’#his owner has colitis and chronic fatigue and she has her shit more together than me#personal
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bonus thing i cherish in this shot is that it's the one time it's immediately noticeable that her hair length is uneven....let's go Cutting One's Own Hair (With Or Without A Mirror) look havers irl (b/c of cutting one's own hair with or without a mirror, maybe) & even when it's recreated on purpose like so
#haven't yet rewatched fury road as i've been anticipating doing for weeks now. we're on the verge of it though i can sense it#thank god ms charlize (juking diacritics) decided on Furiosa Will Have Short Hair#the No Diegetic Makeup. the constant (smudged with dirt or grease or blood perhaps) looks#only additional thing that we're demanding from anything. armpit hair please. for furiosa at least#meanwhile siiigh i guess like three days (? i will go through the number of Nights in my head. one. two.) closer to two days#isn't long enough to grow that much leg hair siiigh fine. more difficult to match up leg hair shots chronology too but if only....#reminds me how a while ago i was like half watching smthing & after a fair number of scenes was like oh hang on that's charlize furiosa....#b/c i basically know her From This. i'd seen smthing else she was in years before w/o remembering much details of Anything#(also had technically seen tom hardy in smthing more recently at the time Also w/o recognizing as much. also thanks at least in part to#not especially enjoying the movie) & i'm not great with faces; that most roles are gonna have Longer Hair / Makeup happening#and a lack of constant dirt grease blood etc even like okay this would be quite difficult#so i Didn't recognize the actor for a hot minute until the reason i Did was just this instance of [subtle quiet shift Acting Moment]#where she got this particular Silent Restrained Intensity going and i was like oh hang on. Could Be Her lmao. it was#anyways even capturing this screencap it was like Aughhh that she Walks. Stops. Walks. the Soundtrack doing what it's doing here....#and if there's Anything in this film to illustrate [max: main character] [furiosa: protagonist] boy is it this scene. wah#the end of this shot as capable like starts looking away like ah yeah emotion moment. well i'll give you this privacy#just like the fast & furious crossroads chat about cam fr lol like i'll respectfully turn so i'm not looking right at you for this Real Shi#responding to your reeling deepest devastation by moving forward still as far as you can? a quarter mile at a time of you#fury road
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to knowis to be loved and to be known is to b eloved. I want transgender friends who will know me and love me in a way that cis people usually do not
#getting floored by transgendered feelings tonight. I went full femme last night in a way that I haven’t in a long time and it really made#it clear that what I enjoy about looking feminine is the ATTENTION. PEOPLE PAY SO MUCH GODDAMN ATTENTION TO PRETTY WOMEN#I will fully admit that I love getting positive attention for my looks irl. Like I’m not really pretty unless I#put a lot of effort into makeup and clothes so getting compliments on my clothes/appearance is like crack cocaine#which is not healthy. I don’t WANT to care about what I look like#but tbh one of the reasons I enjoyed cosplaying so much is that I got all that attentiob without the requisite feminity. Hahaha hhhhhhh#Last night as I was putting myself together for the charity dinner I felt like I was dressing up a doll. FULL out-of-body barbie vibes#I’m so disconnected from feminine feelings right now. But at the same time I had so much fun being pretty and getting compliments#idk. I don’t even know how to feel. I’m so goddamned tired of all this#if I could beam a perfect understanding of gender fluidity into the brains of everyone I meet I would have come out YEARS ago#I just don’t want to be alienated any more than I already am from the people around me#living in the us south means suffering alone in transness I guess.#I don’t want to be the first genderfluid/nonbinary person EVERYONE has ever met. I don’r want to have to justify my existence#but this cannot go on. but I’m afraid of T. I don’t want to go bald 😭#and I still want to wear dresses from time to time#maybe the solution is becoming a lolita lifestyler. dress myself up as a doll every day for the fucking compliments#leave no room for dissatisfaction with feminity. FUCK#I NEED A GENDER THERAPIST WORSE THAN ANYTHING#BUT IT’S THE SOUTH AND THE NEAREST ONE TO ME IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY#AND she’s out of network. FUCK#anyway I watched an episode of the new f*llout show and it was pretty good 😊#AND I’m playing st*rdew valley again on the new update and the update IS SO FUN#<-lil media update to lighten up this post.#this post was typed up not from a place of despair but from a place filled with the same emotions that a dog chasingits owntail experiences#I’m doing well enough mentally that I can deal with my transgender feelings again yknow. maslows heirarchy of needs with m#with transgender feelings at the top#weekend whining
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ik i've said this before but godddd is there any better feeling than coming home after a night out and taking off your cute little outfit and getting all comfy cozy in bed
#i had such a nice time but still. going home and getting into bed is the best feeling#the fancy dinner was SO nice and my friend and i went to a bar afterwards which was lovely#we were basically just chatting shit for about five hours which was great (even if a woman on the subway was totally judging us for it lol)#i told my superviser i had a doctor's appointment at 4:15 and she wanted to meet at. 3:45-4:15 lmao#so i got completely ready (my cute sexy little dress and makeup and jewellery and my bag all packed)#and just put a sweater on over the top and did my meeting and then BOLTED the second it was over#we ended up getting to the restaurant pretty much exactly on time 😌#anywayyy yeah i had a nice night i love you all i hope you all had/have nice nights too#if anyone reads this far send me an ask and tell me about your night 👀 or just like anything you enjoyed doing today#🧃
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i was tagged by @swanfey to do this picrew, presumably not necessarily for d&d characters but that's what you're gonna get with me lmao! only did a handful bc certain characters just didn't look right no matter what i did
from top left to right:
Finch - High Elven Tiefling Arcane Trickster Alodia - Aasimar Whispers Bard Ruya - Grave Cleric of Anubis/Inquisitive Rogue Lyrie - Half Elf Swashbuckler Rogue
finch got a full photoshop makeover bc she's currently my main character and her appearance is so whack that hardly any picrew is gonna be able to do her justice lol
i will tag @lyriumrain @dorianpavus @tiniestmagneto @mnemonicsweets @houseofgriffons @cheekywithcullen and anyone else who feels like it honestly! tag me so i can see if you do it!
#alodia is also an active character and exists in the same universe as finch (even within the same city) but they haven't met haha#lyrie and ruya are retired characters that still have a special place in my heart!#alodia also isn't accurate (diff makeup; her hair should be a very light blue all the way through; and she has a gem in her forehead)#but i used up all the mental energy i had for photoshop with finch lmao#as i usually say; anyone is always always always welcome to ask questions about any of my characters <3#thanks for tagging me!#finch art#alodia art#ruya art#lyrie art#oc: finch#oc: alodia#lyrie aldavir#ruya karim
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another death? what happened this time?
"I don't know if that's particularly your business.... Something smacked the shit out of me in the library.... I'm not entirely sure what it was, but yay, first death on campus..."
"God I really hope no one saw that...."
>You're very clearly occupied with other thoughts as your words trail off, mumbling faintly to yourself.
#i had to make her blush so heavy for it to even show up and be obviously a blush#vayuya#vayuya rp#ask#shenktrolls#she still hasn't taken her makeup off she's too in her head again#vayuya ask
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when anxiety so bad you literally are just sitting on the couch on tumblr and can't not feel like the world is fucking falling apart and everything is on fire and ruined and it's your fault. what the fuck do I do w this bc my victor arcane playlist is not cutting it and i need to do fucking poli sci homework i don't have time to try to conquer my mind's constructed apocalypse before i go to work and have to be normal bc i'm new and the she/they coworkers are still sniffing me out. i need to show them they can trust me with the frogs-with-photoshopped-butts on the work group chat, i must earn a spot amongst the oven-side expo portraits of everyone as a furry
#dreadvent posting#pardon#they all know each other and are like in college and roommates and have she/they eyeliner and i am still trying to figure out makeup beyond#mascara and vaseline#and i can't drive and it's fucking embarrassing bc my family hasta drop me off and girlies i suck so bad at scooping that the head#she/they (has been there two years and coordinates their outfits w their hair dye) had to relegate me to the till bc I was too slow for the#line. the wednesday evening line. how am I supposed to be a real queer college student if I can't keep up w the weekday gelato rush
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