#but even their brother's funeral couldn't get them really together

[gracefullou]

Me: They're not the theories I was referring to. That's what they've shown us. They don't want to be publicly seen together.

You: Hit me up when you get that pic of them all together, until then don't be sending me your silly anons.

Lol just ignoring what I actually said and pretending I said something else. You like to think you know the dynamics of the relationships between each of them even though you clearly don't. OK!

I'm not "theorizing" about the dynamics, everything is out there. Louis and Harry refuse to talk to eachother (before this, they were at the Euros and there was no interaction between them), louis used to interact with Liam, Liam even showed up at his premiere. Louis went to Niall's first tour but never again. Niall didn't go see louis on tour either (but went to Harry's). Liam would have loved to meet all of them. Zayn doesn't want to be associated with 1D and its members, he wasn't seen with anyone of them since the break up (not counting meeting louis cordially at a funeral bc that doesn't say anything). Harry was seen with Niall twice: at the funeral and at his show (which took place at his own arena). What is there to theorize about 💀. The dynamics are clear as day: Louis and Harry will never get along or be seen together, Louis will be cordial towards Niall and Zayn, he'll support their music announcements or like a post or two but nothing more (with Zayn we'll see, but i don't think their dynamic will change), Niall is on Harry's side but he'll never outright ignore the others if they met at an event or something, Harry only gets along with Niall and you will only ever see him with him when it comes to 1D memebers and Zayn has ignored them for so long and will probably continue to. What's hard to get?

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( dialogue prompts taken from the second season of hulu's the bear, created by christopher storer. feel free to edit and change as you seem fit. )

❛ you ever think about purpose? ❜

❛ i love you, but i do not have time for this, alright? ❜

❛ i have time for this. ❜

❛ you know what the fuck you're doing. you love this shit. it's fun for you. i don't have that. ❜

❛ i'm afraid one day, i'm gonna wake up and you guys are all just gonna just drop this ass. ❜

❛ if this shit is not fun for you, what the fuck is fun for you? ❜

❛ i'm not making the same mistakes i made last time. ❜

❛ what kind of insurance coverage do we have for people falling through the fucking wall? ❜

❛ sometimes, i look like february. ❜

❛ you want a sprite? you look kinda green. ❜

❛ can i ask you something and you can tell me to fuck off if you want? ❜

❛ chef, that's way too much acid. ❜

❛ you, uh, making a sundae? ❜

❛ that actually sounds delicious. ❜

❛ because you're the bear and i remember you. ❜

❛ i love taking care of you. and i always will. you know that? ❜

❛ i'm glad i came 'cause i get to eat this. ❜

❛ i gotta come up with three really great desserts. you got any ideas? ❜

❛ you ever made ice cream before, chef? want to? ❜

❛ it kind of tastes like a, um... minty snickers bar. ❜

❛ so how long you been a cook? ❜

❛ how’d you get good at this? ❜

❛ you can spend all the time in the world in here, but if you don't spend enough time out there... you know? ❜

❛ speaking of dead brothers, do you wanna go to a party? ❜

❛ it looks so pretty on you. you should keep it. ❜

❛ what's going on with you? i know there's something. just tell me. ❜

❛ what are you talking about, i don't give a fuck? why would you say that to me? i give like a huge fuck. ❜

❛ you're not by yourself, alright? i'm right here with you. ❜

❛ did you just throw a fork at me? ❜

❛ i think time spent doing this is time well spent. ❜

❛ never too late to start over. ❜

❛ i just want you to know... that this is really nice. ❜

❛ i'm thinking you're very, very beautiful. ❜

❛ we just don't say hello anymore? ❜

❛ you're wearing a suit? ❜

❛ uh, yeah, i wear suits now. ❜

❛ i'm sorry if i took anything out on you and if I treated you like shit. ❜

❛ i actually do think that we could fit good together. ❜

❛ i could be good at things that you don't really wanna do. and you're obviously really great at a whole bunch of stuff that I don't know how to do, you know? ❜

❛ i'm wearing a suit 'cause it makes me feel better about myself. ❜

❛ i know that you're trying. i see that you're trying. ❜

❛ you just came from a funeral? ❜

❛ yeah, a funeral of all my enemies. ❜

❛ you want me to make you some coffee? ❜

❛ i just need your focus like you need mine. ❜

❛ you good? ❜

❛ what's your relationship with your mom like? ❜

❛ alright, chef, i need you to salt that like a sidewalk. ❜

❛ looks gorgeous, chef. ❜

❛ i haven't eaten yet. ❜

❛ oh, let me make you something. ❜

❛ yeah, i can make you an omelet. ❜

❛ that wasn't like an ask out or anything, was it? ❜

❛  i'm looking really good. i 'm thinking you should start calling me chef. ❜

❛ well, i'mma keep calling you jagoff, 'cause that's what you like. ❜

❛ you deserve my full focus. ❜

❛ i guess i'm scared that i don't have what it takes to not fuck this up. ❜

❛ you're not gonna fuck it up. ❜

❛ i fuck things up all the time, like, every day. ❜

❛ you could do this without me. ❜

❛ i couldn't do it without you. i wouldn't even wanna to do it without you. ❜

❛ you make me better at this. ❜

❛ you still love to cook, right? ❜

❛ how's the wine? ❜

❛ yo. we're low on forks, chef. ❜

❛ okay, let's start firing some caviar, please. ❜

❛ i was just gonna say how special and cool and great this place is and how i'm the most proud of you ever. ❜

❛ i really appreciate you being so patient with me. ❜

❛ do i have time to go outside and scream "fuck"? ❜

❛ just don't tell them you saw me, 'cause this is embarrassing. ❜

❛ i love them so much. i don't know how to show it. ❜

❛ i don't know how to say i'm sorry. ❜

❛ i need you to say it's okay. ❜

❛ you are being so fucking weird, man. ❜

❛ i'm stuck in a goddamn refrigerator on the opening night of my fucking restaurant. ❜

❛ i failed you guys and it's not gonna happen again. ❜

❛ maybe i'm just not built for this. ❜

❛ because no amount of good is worth how terrible this feels. ❜

❛ i'm really sorry you feel that way. ❜

❛ would you shut the fuck up and get me the fuck outta here, please? ❜

❛ i don't understand why you can't just let something good happen for once in your fucking life? ❜

❛ you wanna talk to me about my fucking kid? at least i got a kid. ❜

❛ where were you when i fucking put your brother in the ground, you selfish piece of shit? ❜

❛ i fucking love you! ❜

❛ you fucking need me. ❜

❛ i just had this sudden urge to tell you that i've always had this, like, massive crush on you. ❜

❛ i love you, chef. ❜

[enchantedlov3r]

~Wild enemies turned lovers~ A Jacaerys Velaryon love story Cowboy AU

Chapter 1

Summary: you and Jace were enemies, no one could get you guys to get along. so when you guys are forced to work together on your mother's farm for a summer, burning hatred turns into passionate love...

Pairing: cowboy!Jacaerys x cowgirl!reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: lots of sadness and angst, Jace being a tiny asshole, aemond being a good friend, daemon being the reader's fav as he should, and lots of cussing yayy! smut in future chapters, fluff at the end kind of, mentions of death, arguing, let me know if I missed anything! enjoyyyy!

A/N: heyyyy... how y'all doin'.... so look I know I have other stuff to work on but I just couldn't resist y'all know me! so this is dedicated to a lovely girl @coral021 so I hope you like it and it suits your liking, this will be a series btw!

You felt as though you and Jace were supposed to be enemies since the womb.

Jace was always so stuck up and such a know it all while you were more reserved and chose to hide in the shadows.

yes you were outgoing and loved riding your horse around the farm, but you also didn't like a lot of human interaction with others you didn't know.

you were reserved and introverted that way. you liked to tend to the farm animals and do chores, stuff normal people wouldn't exactly enjoy doing.

but when you put those headphones on, you were in a whole other world. a world that Jace always loved to mess up when he and his family came to visit.

It was currently 2:55pm when Jace and his family arrived. It was Daemon, your favorite. Aemond and Aegon, Lucerys, Joffery, and Rhaenyra.

you spotted them from the barn as you were feeding the pigs. you finished tidying up in the barn when your twin sister comes running towards you.

your sister was your best friend, she was the only one who you felt actually understood you.

"There here!" she says with a giddy smile. "yea I caught that, you seem a wee bit too excited, I wonder why." you say your southern drawl coming in strong.

"oh stop it! you know he doesn't like me back, it's just a tiny crush anyway. to be honest I think he takes a liking to you." she says as you both walk hand in hand.

she had the biggest crush on aemond. he showed signs that he didn't like her back but to be honest your sister could never truly stay hooked on one man.

when you guys were 12 she had a crush on jace but when you guys were 15 she obtained a crush on aegon.

"you know how you get around him, I just don't want him hurting your feelings, you know how mean they are, and besides your too sweet for him anyway. and I highly doubt he wants me," you say smiling at her as you rub your nose with hers.

she was the joy and happiness that you don't have. you weren't exactly depressed but you weren't exactly happy either, being the oldest by 5 minutes meant more pressure on you then her.

but she was still able to put a smile on your face as always. you havent been the best, especially since dad died. it's been rough on everyone but daisy doesn't show it as much. tyring to stay happy for everyone.

(gonna name her daisy btw you can use it if not thats ok too)

you eventually just shut everyone out except her. your older brother, your mom, your friends, even other family members.

"you think mom's gonna tell em? that dad's dead?" daisy asks you. you sigh and look at your house up ahead.

"maybe, they are like family and daemon really did like our dad so maybe?" you say honestly. you weren't sure.

your mom hasn't left the house in months. he recently died and you guys had the funeral a few months ago.

she hasn't moved from the house and you and daisy were constantly trying to coax her to help out.

so instead of getting up to help she calls the Targaryen family over to help for the entire summer.

now to anyone that sounds amazing. to you, it was a nightmare because of the sleep schedule, the trouble you'd have to endure, and the endless amounts of teasing and annoyance from Jace.

"I like your outfit btw but you might wanna change, and shower. you smell like mud and pigs." she says snickering.

you had on a white t-shirt with blue overalls and a cowgirl hat on to keep the heat from out of your eyes along with your handy dandy cowgirl boots.

"yea yea, I know. but not before i do this!" you exclaim before rubbing your hands all on her arms and rubbing your cheek on her cheek.

"ewwwwwww! gross! whyyyy mee!" Daisy yells out as she runs away from you. you quickly follow after her you catch a glimpse of the four boys staring at you guys. your older brother, aemond, aegon, and jace.

"ok ok! I surrender. I give up, come on daisy I won't do anything, promise!" you yell out at her.

she laughs and puts both her thumbs up before making her way back to you.

you both walk up the porch steps towards the front door when your met with your older brothers gaze.

"Where have you two been? Mom was looking for you both to greet the Targaryens." he says with a stern gaze.

"doing the work you should have been doing. that's where I was." you say with a bit of venom behind it.

"well I was busy. you know taking care of mom." he says. you roll your eyes and so does daisy.

"bullshit Tyler, I was taking care of mom while you were out fucking some girl." daisy announces.

"oh wow, but what the hell was all that talk about how you care for mom's mental health and how you needed to now step up and be the "man" of the house and take care of mom?" you question, restating what he said the day after the funeral.

"I meant that. I'm doing that, I'm putting in more work than you." he says with his chest puffed out.

"Yea tell her." Jace whispers.

'Oh.' you saw what was going on here, Tyler wanted to act all tough and big and bad because they were here. well, you were gonna show your brother just how pathetic he is.

you glare at the boys behind him and then look at your brother again.

"hey by the way, tell that girl, what was her name again, cat? yea did you ever tell her that you had chlamydia and might have given it to her? yea did you tell her that you got it from her sister? well, that's too bad cause I uhm already told her. she's on her way here shortly so that'll be a fun conversation." you say with a smile.

"let's go daisy," you say before walking towards the door. "Oh by the way welcome back boys," you say with an insincere smile on your face before pushing the door to your household open and walking in.

you hear the muffled conversation and you smile knowing that there questioning your brother and his sexual acts and the fact that he just let me punk him.

"that was just cruel but well deserved." daisy says with a giggle. you smile at her and laugh too.

"Hi, Rhaenyra." you greet as you see her and your mom talking at the dining table.

"Hello girls, always a pleasure to see you guys." she says with that warm smile on her face.

sometimes you wished she was your mom instead of your actual mom because Rhaenyra actually understood you, unlike your mom.

"I would hug you but i'm covered in mud and hay, lemme go clean up yea?" you say to her with a smile.

she smiles and nods with understanding and you walk up the stairs towards your room.

you grab a little white sundress with yellow flowers on it. you grab some panties and a bra as well and walk towards your bathroom for a well-deserved shower.

It was currently 7:45 when you finally left your room after your daily reading routine, you got out of the shower a while ago and your ready for dinner.

"Hey! Come downstairs loser, dinner is ready, and Daemons asking for you." daisy says bursting into your room.

"hey, one I'm not a loser and two you had me at Daemon's name," you say excitingly as you rush downstairs with her.

you see Daemon's white hair and his black cowboy hat and sneak up behind him and jump on his back.

"RAHHHH!" You yell out as he twirls you around with his hands on your legs holding you there.

"There she is! How's my special girl." he says with a smile on his face. you laugh and wrap your arms around his neck.

"I'm doing pretty good old man, how are you?" you say laughing when he drops you off him at calling him an old man.

"well I was doing good until that statement child." he says rolling his eyes playfully.

you laugh at him and shove him with your shoulder snatching his hat off his head and putting it on yours. You stand next to him listening to him talk about his time here in the last hour or so and you smile.

your deep in his conversation when Lucerys runs to you with Joffery.

"Hey guys! Omg! Luke you're getting taller dude and Joffery last time I saw you, you were like this short." you say shrinking your hand a bit.

"Hey guess what i'm 7 now! and Luke is 13!" he says proudly. you smile at them and high five the both of them.

"well ain't that something nice," you say roughing up Luke's hair. "Alright, boys why don't you go and find some seats, dinners ready."

they both nod and go find a seat. you smile and bid him a farewell while you go and find a seat next to your sister.

"Hey sissy." you say with a smile. "hey loser." she says with a smirk. you kick her foot and she laughs.

"girls. no playing at the table you know that." your mom says for the first time today.

"but dad never had a problem with it." daisy says in protest. you roll your eyes not even bothering to put up a fight with her.

"Yeah well he's dead isn't he, so whatever I say goes," she says sternly making everyone at the table go silent.

"yea well you haven't done anything around here anyway so what's the point." you whisper under your breath.

"I'm sorry, did you have something you wanted to share with the family?" she says with that aggression and attitude in her tone.

"Miranda don't," Rhaenyra warns.

"No its fine. Yea I do have something to share." you say putting your fork down losing your appetite.

"Here we go again." Tyler says rolling his eyes.

"You have not moved from your room in months. you have done nothing to help with the farm, you just sit around and sulk in the coldness of your room. Daisy has coaxed you to start eating properly, I have stepped up and cooked and helped take care of the fucking animals you and Dad raised when we were babies. and yet, whatever you say is supposed to go? yea, mom that makes total sense coming from a woman who couldn't even go buy fucking groceries for the goddamn house." you say out of anger.

"please don't do this, not again bro," Tyler says.

"No.. no Tyler you have no right to talk. your last words to dad were that you fucking hated him and wished he wasn't alive anymore. and for what? all because he wouldn't let you sneak some fucking whore in the house?" you say angrily with tears streaming down your face.

"You wanna act like the man of the house so bad but you couldn't even make the real man in the house proud. I blame you for his death, every single fucking day. I hate you Tyler, and I hate you Mom because you act like it's nothing. You don't check on your kids, you don't comfort Daisy at night when she wakes up crying and calling out for Dad. you do nothing. and whatever you say goes right?" you yell at Tyler and your mom.

your full-on crying now.

"I can't even look at you anymore," you say finally before looking away from them both and silently crying.

"sorry to ruin this wonderful dinner that Daisy cooked. and I'm sorry Rhaenyra and Daemon and everyone else for making you uncomfortable. I'm fine now." you say calmly.

"darling, it's totally fine. I can tell you needed to let that out." Rhaenyra says with a smile on her face.

"You just ruin everything don't you, no wonder Tyler never wants you around either," Jace says under his breath.

"what the fuck did you just say?!" you yell at jace.

"Man come on don't make her angry," Tyler says.

"JACAERYS VELARYON!" Rhaenyra yells making everyone silent at the table.

"you have no right... no right to say that. out of all people you should understand as you lost your father, don't you start with this family, and put them through more hell." she exclaims.

"I've lost my appetite, i'll eat it later daisy. I'm sorry." you say before running out of the house and running towards the barn.

"why couldn't you just stay quiet like you always are Mom? I made a n-nice dinner and you ruined it. You too Tyler and you Jace. you guys know better but you act fucking childish anyway!" Daisy says with tears in her eyes as she runs to her room.

"I'll go find her, Aegon you go after Daisy. don't worry, we'll fix this." Aemond says.

you're sitting on the bench by the coupe of chickens when you hear rustling behind you.

"go away Tyler! I don't want you here right no-"

"Not Tyler," Aemond announces interrupting your sentence.

you turn around and see aemond standing there with his hands in his pocket.

"come to tease me like Jace does? if so I'm not in the mood," you say sitting back down to feed the chickens.

"actually i'm here to comfort you. see I lost my dad too so I know how you feel. My dad may not have died like yours did but I lost mine and I'm at least civil enough to know that, that shit isn't something to make fun of." aemond says as he sits next to you.

"Yea, it's not," you say throwing more food for the chickens. you glance at him and he's staring right back at you.

"you know I don't hate him, not really." you say with a slight smile on your face.

"who Tyler?" he asks.

"nope, not him no I hate him with my life. I mean Jace. I never hated him. He just started hating on me from the jump so I just went along with it. But it's getting exhausting. were both adults now, were 18, why can't he just act more mature." you say looking at the stars in the sky.

"I don't know, I'm never really around my niece all that well but maybe he likes you. You know, arguing and pretending to hate someone for no reason at all is a sign that they like you but are trying to hide their feelings deep down."

"Oh shut up!" you say shoving him and laughing.

"Just saying," he says with a smile. you smile back at him remembering how fun and nice Aemond really was. when you guys were alone at least.

"by the way you gotta stop bullying Luke, he's 13, and you're 19. get it together bro," you say sternly locking eyes with him.

"yea yea I will." he says smiling at you. you smile back and stare at him.

for a moment it felt as though time had stopped. you both stare at each other before Aemond's smile fades and he leans a little closer to you.

he leans closer and closer until he's near your ear. "we should probably get back, daemons calling." he whispers.

"oh uhm-" you clear your throat. "yeah w-we should. thanks aemond, I really needed this talk." you say with a smile before hugging him.

"no problem." he says hugging you back as he rests his head on yours.

you both walk back engaged in conversation again about his love life. of course, he didn't have a girlfriend. you're gonna have to tell that to Daisy, maybe another night...not tonight.

then out of the blue, Jace pops up in your mind and you speak before your mind can tell you to shut up.

"D-does Jace have a girlfriend by any chance?" you ask keeping your head straight, not daring to look at Aemond's amused face and teasing smirk.

"no...he doesn't. why, are you interested?" he asks nudging you a bit as he chuckles with amusement.

,"No, not at all. Just curious is all." you say with a little giggle. you both make it back to the house and are greeted with Rhaenyra and Daemon's lovely faces.

they thank you that you came back and thank Aemond for bringing you back.

you smile at them and bid the three a goodbye. you try to make your way up the stairs but the sound of Jace's voice stops you.

"Hey, wait," he says walking to catch you quick enough. you turn around with an emotionless expression as you really don't want to speak to him.

"look I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that when I know your clearly hurting. I know what it's like to lose your father or someone close to you. I shouldn't have been such an asshole and I'm really sorry. If you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I would really appreciate it." he says with a serious face.

you saw past the serious facade though. there was something in his eyes, a look of not only a feeling of apologetics but of sincerity too, and passion and remorse.

a look that you can forgive.

"I forgive you Jace. I am really tired now so, goodnight." you smile at him and give him a light hug.

he hugs you back as his eyes widen. you've never shown him affection like this and neither has he so this... this was new.

"goodnight, i'll see you tomorrow then. my mom told me to help you with whatever chores you need help with," he says.

"oh ok, well then see ya tomorrow Jace." you say as you turn on your heel to make your way towards the stairs and go to your room.

you didn't quite know what tomorrow would hold for you but you prayed it wasn't Jace being an asshole.

if only you knew how much tomorrow was going to be hell for you...

Taglist: @raynesbandaids @liliesdiary @ribbonprincess and anyone else who wants to join.

COMMENTS, REBLOGS, AND LIKES ARE MUCH APPRECIATED!

©enchantedlov3r| All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[vastderp]

I Had A Baby Brother

My brother was found dead last tuesday in his apartment.

He died anywhere from Sunday to Monday, and his landlord got worried and checked up on him and found him on the floor with one hand over his face. There was an open jug of methanol nearby. My sister thinks he drank it, I pray he didn't. It was an ugly, fucked up death.

He was in declining health this past decade because he was a paraplegic and uncontrolled diabetic. There are systems in place to help with low income people in his condition, but they were barred from him as he was a convicted felon.

He went from learning to walk again in the physical therapy pool to drinking a gallon of vodka per day, growing more hostile and bitter as the pain got worse, until his body just gave out. He drove away his friends, he drove away his family, and then he hit the floor and never got up.

I was meant to view the body with my sister and her grown kids, but the funeral home couldn't tell us where his body had been sent, and stopped answering the phone on friday before memorial day weekend, and then we had to wait for someone to follow up on my sister's dozens of phone messages, which they finally did, to try and make their little profit.

My sister, who has been handling all of this along with my niece, selected a different funeral home for the cremation because the first one was disgraceful with my mother's death in 2007, and they're disgraceful all over again with my brother's now.

At one point today they finally established contact, and asked how my sister wanted to handle the arrangements for her "father". O how casual the not giving a fuck goes! Dude pressed to make a sale even after she told him how unhappy we were with their work.

All this to say that I have a car full of inherited possessions, unused medical gear, and the shitty fucked up remnants of my brother's shrine to Mom.

Good old Mom may have died almost 20 years ago, but her gentle, loving mission to smother her only son to death (and probably into eternity) is finally successful. Of all of us, I've often wondered who got it worst: The golden child, the scapegoat, or the parentalized invisible middle kid. Now that one of us has effectively committed suicide, I guess it's for the scapegoat and me to hash out who gets second place. My mother crippled him long before his car accident, in one long and winding but uninterrupted line of consequences from his birth to death. I consider it a murder-suicide. Which was which? They were both the killer, and both the victim. Enmeshment is a motherfucker.

I'm super bitter, really fucking sad, and incredibly proud of what's left of my family for how they're coming together now. (Except my dad, who is in another state, petting his dogs, because I don't think he can really deal with this shit).

So what's left? To go put some cologne on his corpse when they finally let us go view what's left of him. He always liked to smell nice and he probably doesn't right now.

They'll cremate him, and give us a ridiculously heavy cardboard box of ashes that we'll have to carry out, knowing it's all that's left of a lifetime of struggling and pain. Probably we're gonna mix his ashes with Mom's, and make that lifetime of enmeshment official.

I hope if they go to the same afterlife, he kicks her in the cooter. I hope she kicks him back. I hope they can see each other with eyes unclouded by trauma, and forgive each other for the choices they both made. I hope they forgive me for still being mad at them both for not being stronger. I hope I will forgive myself for a lifetime of resentment and blame. I sure got enough time for that.

Jason was funny, weird, secretly really smart but never made a point of it. He was stylish. He was a broken man who could have made better choices and didn't, who was happily fed poison until he couldn't live without it, who was basically his own whole ass Pink Floyd song. His violence sent me running into a better life. His death sent me trudging back into a damaged family with gaping holes like torn out teeth, into the arms of my sister, and we reconciled. There's just us two left now, and it's our job to make something beautiful come out of this jerry springer childhood we shared. We're doing our best.

Dozens of catheters still in the package. Leakproof bed padding in a plaid pattern. Gallons of creams, antacids, fiber supplements by the jar, pressure sore ointments, fungus treatment creams, lidocaine pads, antibiotics, antipsychotics, a hash pipe or two.

An entire apartment hoarded with moist towelettes, pressure garments, and cleaning supplies. An entire life choked with mental damages and crying relatives. I put on CeeLoo Green's "Robin Williams" and sobbed until my face felt burned. It helped.

All the usable/safe to give away medical equipment is being distributed to the other impoverished disabled people in his apartment complex, who will hopefully put it to good use. I got his old manual wheelchair because sometimes I can't walk. I'm terrified of becoming more like him, so back to phsycial therapy I go.

The rest?

The memories, the pity, the jug of methanol that I pray he never actually drank, the stain he left on his floor after a lifetime of compulsive tidiness, the shrine to the woman he killed who also killed him? All these things I will keep with me forever. I will honor him. He could have been so much more, for so much longer. He had a whole story I'll never know. He contained incredible kindness and generosity, and also a rage so deep it was fatal. He was only 41.

If you can spare a couple bucks for the gofundme my niece set up, it'd really help make the financial side of this horseshit a little more bearable while we do all the shit that comes with a death. Thank you for taking the time to read this post, for your sympathies, and for reading my fucked up family trauma dump. Rest assured there will be more.

Dear god, will there ever be more.

Send help. Send pizza. Send sad hip hop. Hail Atlantis. Hail Jai.

[livvy-fallen]

To add from my last post. (I'm so sorry it took so long:( I'm trying my best to get it to you guys as soon as possible)

Yandere obey me when MC goes to the past

I'm so sorry it took a while. It got deleted as my cousin was messing around and then it wouldn't save .

Warning! This fic contains: blood, yandere stuff, cannibalism and maybe dead dove no clue! But it has disturbing subjects matters

You have been warned

People say rose tinted glasses make red flags look like just normal flags... And now your wondering how many glasses you owed.

You never really thought about how the brothers habits we're.... Let's say a red flag parade.But now you wish you realized you need to disappear and put Houdini to Shame. At first it was nothing big. A few comments from Mammon. Nothing you couldn't handle.

"Hey! Don't be going out ! I'm your first you should be spending time with me!...be grateful that The great Mammon wants to spend time with ya!"

And

"Your just asking for any lower demon to just take ya! "

Then your stuff keept on going missing. It probably wasn't just that stupid, greedy demon who was doing so but he differently was in first place for it!

Then you noticed your few friends from RAD are gone... Like that really nice succubus you were friends with. She was so nice to you always there to help you with anything. You never saw again after you said you were hanging out with her to the brothers! You were the last person to see her alive. You had to hold her funeral. You could bearly keep it together at said funeral. You never cried so hard.

You still keep a picture of her and your friend group hidden in your room. You know dam well if the brothers find it.... You don't want to think about it..

Now you wish you never made that STUPID pact with him or any of them! You couldn't of even go outside without them trying to drag you back in!

Then you saw Mammon killing one of your few friends left... The way their blood dripping making a horrible wet sound as it hit the floor. The way you could see the blood drip out of his mouth! The way he had a stupid grin on his face! You saw the poor demons insides put on display.... The poor demon was still alive! And they looked so scared... You don't blame them...... The way their life was ended by one loud stomp! And you saw the blood splatter every in a certain distance. You threw up.. Like a large amount of throw up... It didn't help you saw that bastards hand grab something.... You don't want to know what. But you then... You heard a loud chomp. And him sallowing...... You saw the insides dangling out of his mouth.... The blood still dripping.. ...

It's been.... You don't even remember..... Since then...

"I'm sorry but you made me do it. Now you have a ugly scar on your once beautiful face... But I still love you!"

You still have have a scar from trying to escape amso....its not even that noticeable from far way but he won't let you live it down! You hate all of those 7 fuckers!

You tried everything! You even used your pacts.. You managed to get away for 2 weeks and back to the human realm before Lucifer found you... You don't even know how! You dyed your hair,changed your name! you changed everything... But you think the pact is way too strong of that....

You took away to many showers after you got brought back.. You still have nightmares about it but you rather die a horrible death then tell them that..you wish that you stayed dead!

So when you got brought back to the past you were actually happy... Because they don't even remember you!! Meaning no more yandere!! You gladly took that deal and ran with it..

However the brothers didn't take it so well.... You escaped their grasp and this time they have no way getting you back!

Lucifer

He is pissed. Not only did he lose his darling. That shady wizard bitch is getting to be all yours! His anger wasn't obvious at first glance due to his pride. But if you look closely you can see how he is inraged. His coal black wings were puffed out like an upset cat. Last time he was this angry he ended up with Satan. He looking for anything that can get you back. And once you do come back he's never letting you out of his sight again. If your able to walk after you go back it's a miracle. All though the Demonus companies are really thankful. They haven't seen so much profit in the start of its production! But at the same time he feels like a failure of an oldest brother. He isn't there for his baby siblings. He feels like a failure of his family. He's watching his siblings ruin themselves. He needs to be strong for them... But he just can't bare the pain of you no longer there. The pain of knowing dam well that you could be hurting and no one is there to wipe away your tears and to pick you up. Just like how you did with his family

Mammon

Oh boy... Where do I start? He is absolutely devastated! His Human, treasure his everything is gone and probably in danger! And you just want him to except that?! (Yes. Yes we do) if he can do anything he will! If Solomon comes back with a single scratch on your perfect body he is going to regret the day his mother had to give birth to him. Mammon is using EVERY connection he has to see if they can help. Before they knew you were in the past he was the first one out the door looking for you. And we all know he isn't going to make the same mistake again. I hope you enjoyed going to the bathroom alone. Because when you get back you NOT having that again. He also is picking up the slack because of Lucifer. Mammon is the second oldest and he CAN NOT deal with the image of his siblings in pain. He cares for them. So even if gets insulted, hit and hissed at by his brothers he doesn't care as long as they aren't upset as much.

Leviathan

He's not very happy. Is all I can really say? But because of his crippling self worth issues he's saying stuff like "of course they wouldn't want to be around a yucky otaku like me" and similar stuff.. It's a little depressive. But don't be fooled if you think he isn't lashing out at everything. He nearly damaged his figures in a fit of rage once. If that doesn't show how upset he is then what does? He is the general of hell's Navy so one wrong comment from a lower demon and their swimming with Lotan

Satan

Avatar of wrath so you can guess how he is dealing with this.. Not very fucking well. He has destroyed so much of the devildom it's common practice for demons to be jumping over creators just to go to school. His room is worse for wear. It looks like a war happened in there. He is reading every single book he can about this subject so he can get you back faster but every dead end only leads to a ruined building. However most of his wrath also steams from the fact he knows how he was back then. He's worried that he will hurt you. All though he harsh with punishments he isn't very found of the idea of you getting killed by his wrath

Asmo

Asmo isn't recognizable. At all. His hair is greasy from not showering or bathing for long times.. His eyes red and puffy for crying his eyes out, lips cracked from not drinking water. He spends most of his time sleeping. He didn't get how belphi could sleep all the time but now he does. All mirrors are broken in the house. He couldn't stand seeing himself in the mirror. Not only are you gone ( he thinks your scared without them and crying without them to which your definitely not. You celebrated the second you were free) but so is Solomon! And no one other then him is there for you! That Shady sorcerer.. What if you get a scar! What if you don't drink water? (The call is coming from inside the house I swear-) what if a stupid lust demon tries to take you?! Their scent on you definitely is gone by now! He has his good days though! If he realized that you could be back soon he has to look the best! So he washed his hair and everything else, did a face mask his daily routine and put a lot of chap stick on. Just in case you're back at that day! It usually lasts for a week until he gets upset.

Beelzebub

Beel is trying to keep his family together. He's trying his very best. But he just can't always do so. He's the protector of this family. He always has been but he doesn't feel like he should anymore.. After all not only did he failed to protect Lilith. He couldn't even protect you! He I'd having nightmares after nightmares about his failures of not protecting his family to the point belphegor often goes to his beloved twin's dreams to try to put a good dream in his mind. His appetite is all over the place! One day he eats everything like normal then the next day he can't actually eat anything. It worries his other siblings. Another thing is he keeps food for you just in case you're back. He has no clue if your eating correctly! Your way from the people who protect you. Your probably so scared! (Your really not-) so he keeps food he just in case for you. No one is allowed to throw it away though... So when or IF you come back ignore the moldy rotten food. You know during the early lessons while belphi was in the attic? It's like that. Demons are pact animals pretty much and beel is the biggest family man know to man. So he was destroyed and don't get me started how he feels thinking that if he was just there with you, you would be safe and there with them. You know when you called for Beelzebub in the past because of the apples he felt that but not 100% . He felt you call for him to help you. He didn't know if he actually did in the past. He has no clue if you got hurt because HE wasn't there for you. He wasn't there to pick you up and save you

Belphegor

He is PISSED to say the least. Not only did you get out if their grasp there's no guarantee that your coming back let alone safe! The one day they let you lock yourself in your room and didn't join you is the time you were taken away by someone. That is NEVER happing again. Hope you enjoyed having a door because that is coming straight off. His sleep schedule is so off wack. One day he sleeps for 23 hours and only getting up because Beel is making him eat. Beel be dammed if he loses another loved one. But the next 3 days he isn't sleeping. He is only sleeping when beel put sleeping pills in his food. Belphi is now never leaving Beel's side. Not like Beel was letting him leave longer than 30 minutes. Belphi isn't very found of the idea that your in the past for MANY reasons but one main one is because the simple fact. You went to the past where Lilith's death was fresh. His hate for humans were so strong. He already killed you once he doesn't want to lose you again.

While all this is happening your living the life that the brothers ripped away from you. So when your looking for books about Nightbringer and when Mammon freaks out... All you get are flashbacks. You feel the pain of the brothers keeping your away from everything and everyone. The pain of knowing if you left the family alone you wouldn't of been hurting... You wouldn't of had to buried your friends bodies... You wouldn't of had to cry at a locked door begging to be let out. Only for an hour in the human realm... You missed your family... All that comes back and you can't hold it anymore. You sob your eyes out. Your crying on the floor as everyone fights... Because you know if you stay any longer it will happen again.. "To hell to this family! FUCK THIS FAMILY! LET THEM DEAL WITH THEIR OWN SHIT!" Is what your mind is yelling at you as you hold your arm. This family will be the death of you... Not like they will let you die...

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tommy gets from his shift late at night, basically in the morning. The day was long and night even longer. All he wants now is to fall in his bed and sleep for days.

Opening the door, he's met with silence and a bunch of envelopes near it. He is ready to leave it for tomorrow, but his inner perfectionist doesn't let him leave the mess. He gets it up.

He quickly looks through all of them, noting that all of it's just ads or bills, except the last one. Beautiful baby blue envelope with the handwriting he still remembers as if he saw it yesterday and not a year ago.

Evan.

It's Evan's letter.

Tommy doesn't know why man writers him that way. Using paper and envelope and real mail and not any of their friends. Man knows Tommy has weekly get togethers with Eddie and Chim. Or not on the next barbeque, where they will meet again, like all the time over the last years. Tommy hopes he has to solve his health problem and finally get his weight back. It's sad how Evan was just a ghost of his old self when Tommy saw him over Christmas.

Actually, Tommy doesn't know why man writes him that way. What did he want to tell Tommy that they didn't tell when 118 closed them in the closet in Han's house and didn't let them leave till they got closure? Till they got the understanding why they could never work.

Why does Evan need to write to him?

Tommy weighs the idea about leaving the letter till he wakes up, but his heart is not beating easily without knowing what Evan needed to get on paper and send him.

He opens the envelope. Inside he finds the paper and the photo.

It makes him tear up. The photo is their selfie after they buried Billy. On the outside he can see another handwriting: my happiness.

Tommy swallows, taking a letter in his hands, he sees dried dots if someone was crying when writing.

Dear Tommy,

Hi! How are you? I'm sorry that I'm doing it that way, but I couldn't make myself text or call or come to see you. Because I was afraid. Afraid you would love me just because I'm in pain. Only because I'm in pain. And I had enough of it in my childhood. But I also was afraid you won't be around. It was easier to leave you out. Just as a memory. A good memory. Best memory.

Anyway, if you're reading this, then I'm already dead. Leukemia. Was diagnosed not long before Christmas. It's actually ironic that I'm dying from the same thing that killed my brother and nothing can help.

Ironic and painful. I'm not gonna lie. It's really painful. And not even the treatment or that it doesn't help. No. Painful is that I still have so many things I could live for, try and find, but I don't have time.

But at least I had time to love you. Like I never did with anyone. You're my greatest love, Tommy Kinard. The way you made me feel is unbelievable. Indescribable.

I'm so lucky that I loved and was loved by you. The photo I'm giving you is the moment I had the first “oh! I'm falling for him”, but actually I was falling since you flew us into a hurricane. Thank you for kissing me and giving us those incredible 6 months. I've never been happier. Only with you.

You kissed me and showed me the real me. You showed me I can be loved. And that I can love people.

I know you had reasons to leave. And please know if not for my diagnosis I'd try to call you on New Year's eve, offering you to come and give us another chance. Give you that decision to make.

I hope you forgave me for taking this decision from you. But I can't make you see me dying. See me in pain. See me losing myself. I can't. It could break you, baby. So hard. It's better you find out like that. Maddie or Chim would call you about funerals. Please come. Because I need you to let me go like we did for Billy. I won't be at peace without your goodbye.

But I'm saying it first. Goodbye my love and please remember that I loved you till my very last breath. You were so loved, baby. Please let people love you in the future.

With love,

Your Evan

Tommy falls on his knees, holding the letter close to his heart. He can't see anything. Everything's so blurry. He just cries and cries, screaming in the night.

The sun is rising. The new day is coming. The day he's going to live, knowing that Evan would never call him again.

[callieyanderechan]

THINGS FROM THE TBOSAS BOOK I WISH WAS IN THE MOVIE

PLURIBUS, THE WAY HE HELPED THE SNOW FAMILY AND LUCY GRAY.

REAPER CRAWLING TO BE IN HIS MORGUE BEFORE DYING.

MAUDE IVORY'S CLEMENTINE SONG, HER ASKING FOR THE SHOES FROM THE SONG.

HOW YOUNG MAUDE IVORY ACTUALLY WAS, SHE WAS SO SMALL SHE HAD TO STAND ON BOXES TO REACH THE MICS AND WAS CARRIED ON PEOPLES BACK TO GET TO THE LAKE.

LYSISTRATA AND JESSUP. HIM BLOCKING HER FROM THE BOMBS WITH HIS BODY, HER TALKING ABOUT HOW GOOD HE WAS AND NOT HIS RABIES AFTER HE DIED.

CLEMENSIA IN THE HOSPITAL AND AS A MENTOR, HER SCALES AND EYES, HER ANGER AT CORYO FOR NOT VISITING HER WHEN HE KNEW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO HER.

ARACHNE CRANE'S FUNERAL. BRANDY HANGING AND THE TRIBUTES BEING DRAGGED ACROSS THE STREET, CORYO SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

MA PLINTH, HER FEEDING CORYO, SENDING HIM HOME IN HER CAR WITH HER CHAUFFEUR, SENDING HIM AND SEJANUS BOXES OF TREATS WHEN THEY WHERE PEACEKEEPERS.

LUCY GRAY AND THE COVEYS HOUSE IN THE SEAM, THEIR GOAT AND MAKING BUTTER TO CHEER UP MAUDE IVORY.

TAM AMBER, HOW HE IS A FORGOTTEN CHILD, FOUND BY THE COVEY WHILE TRAVELING, TAKEN IN INSTEAD OF BEING LEFT TO DIE.

BARB AZURE AND HER GIRL DOWN THE ROAD.

THE COVEY SINGING AT COMMANDER HOFFS BIRTHDAY PARTY.

TESLEE AND CIRC, THEM TAKING THE DRONES AND HACKING THEM, TESLEE USING ONE TO KILL MIZZEN.

BILLY TAUPE AND CC, HOW MUCH CC REALLY MISSED BILLY TAUPE BUT COULDN'T FORGIVE HIM.

HOW THE COVEY ARE RELATED, CC AND BILLY TAUPE ARE BROTHERS AND THE REST EXCEPT TAM AMBER BEING BAIRD COUSINS.

REAPER GIVING LAMINA A PIECE OF FLAG BECAUSE SHE WAS SUN BURNT IN EXCHANGE FOR FOOD.

DR KAY, HOW SHE KNEW SNOW BEFORE HE WAS A PEACEKEEPER BECAUSE SHE WORKED WITH DR GAUL BUT DIDN'T MENTION IT.

THE SNAKES NOT KILLING ALL THE TRIBUTES, THEY REALLY ONLY KILLED CORAL AND CIRC IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY.

HOW INSANE CORYO ACTUALLY WAS THE ENTIRE TIME, I KNOW THAT WOULD BE HARD SINCE MOST OF IT WAS INNER MONOLOGUE BUT STILL MAN WAS LITERALLY INSANE THE WHOLE TIME.

HOW CORYO TOOK SEJANUS' PLACE AFTER HIS DEATH, HE CALLED MRS PLINTH MA AND MR PLINTH SIR, THE PLINTHS BOUGHT THE SNOW PENTHOUSE AND PAID THE RENT AND TAXES ON IT SO THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO MOVE OUT AND THEY BOUGHT THE APARTMENT DIRECTLY UNDER THE SNOWS AND TALKED ABOUT CONNECTING THE TWO.

THE TRIBUTES NOT BEING SEEN TO BY A DOCTOR BUT BY A VET.

THE TRIBUTES ALL PERFORMING AT THE ZOO TO TRY AND MAKE AN IMPRESSION.

DR GAUNT NOT ACTUALLY BEING ANGRY ABOUT THE CHEATING, SHE JUST SENT CORYO TO BE A PEACEKEEPER TO PROVE HER POINT ABOUT PEOPLE BEING ANIMALS.

THE PEACEKEEPERS NOT HELPING CORYO AND SEJANUS WHEN THEY WHERE IN GHE ARENA.

CORYO'S UTTER HATRED OF MOCKINGJAYS, THE MAN DESPISED THEM EVEN BEFORE KATNISS.

SEJANUS AND HIS FATHER PAYING SO CORYO COULD GET HIS ACADEMY DEGREE.

MRS PLINTHS TRIBUTE TO DISTRICT 2, HOW ALL HER FAMILY EXCEPT HER SISTER CUT HER OFF.

BEANPOLE AND SMILEY AND COOKIE.

CORYO BEING CALLED GENT.

SEJANUS BEING CALLED BULLSEYE.

SEJANUS AND BILLY TAUPE AT THE COVEYS HOUSE IN THE SEAM.

SEJNAUS HAVING TO MILK THE COVEYS GOAT WITH MAUDE IVORY CAUSE HE LEFT HER TO TALK TO BILLY TAUPE.

REAPER GETTING RABIES FROM JESSUP, HOW IT AFFECTED HIS MIND, HIM MAKING A CAPE OUT OF THE FLAG AND TWIRLING AROUND LIKE A PRINCESS, REFUSING ANY FOOD OR WATER CLEMENSIA SENT HIM.

LUCY GRAY KILLING REAPER FROM EXHAUSTION, FORCING HIM TO RUN AFTER HER BY RIPPING PIECES OFF THE FLAG HE PUT OVER THE DEAD TRIBUTES.

SEJANUS AND CORYO TRYING TO TAKE MARCUS'S BODY OUT FROM THE ARENA.

LUCY GRAY KILLING TREECH WITH ONE OF THE RAINBOW SNAKES.

MAUDE IVORYS EXPLANATION OF THE COVEYS NAMES. HOW THEIR NAMES AFTER A BALLAD AND A COLOR.

THE EXPLANATION OF HOW BILLY TAUPE AND MAYFAIR GOT TOGETHER. IN THE MOVIE ALL WE KNOW IS THAT BILLY TAUPE CHEATED ON LUCY GRAY WITH MAYFAIR BUT IN THE BOOK LUCY GRAY EXPLAINS THAT IT STARTED WHEN BILLY TAUPE WAS GIVING MAYFAIR MUSIC LESSONS FOR EXTRA MONEY.

[transraptortrainer]

I'll speak to specifically the trauma of them losing Brooklynn to a dinosaur !!

Kenji obviously became extremely avoidant which I think was perpetuated by a lot of trauma he experienced just dealing with the dad stuff. It's not easy for him to talk about his feelings or address them directly, and I think he knew he'd be hurtful to Darius - someone he really cares about - if he saw him again after Brooklynn's funeral, which is why he dropped contact with him and the others. He didn't want to hurt his brother but he needed space and a lot of time to heal from what had happened. That being said I don't think he would've ever broken that silence if it wasn't for Darius showing up on his door.

Darius isolated, and as he's always done, he blamed himself. Darius has suffered from survivor's guilt even since his father passed. It's never been easy for him to move on or forgive himself. But he also became a bit obsessive, and knowing that there was originally this plot for Darius to just hate dinosaurs because of the event was passed around in early screenings of season 1 is soo much but it really indicates how much Brooklynn's death meant to him. He couldn't view dinosaurs through the same passionate lense he always did. I think that is extremely representative of his feelings.

Similarly to Darius, Ben also became obsessive in a different kind of way...? Idk if anyone's noticed that his anxiety has kinda evolved into a what appears to me as a kind of paranoia disorder , which. Same queen I get it. He even went as far as to consider his friend Sammy may have been involved! He admits he had to rule out all possibilities which I can only imagine made him feel incredibly guilty. I think he also had to detach, probably mostly because the event caused a split in his friend group. He's become extremely self-reliant but his disorders are manifesting in fun and interesting new ways LOL.

Sammy copes through keeping busy. Obviously. I wouldn't be surprised if this is somehow related to the fact her family decided to end contact with her. But btw can we talk about how much that must've been the straw that broke the camel's back? We know family is the most important thing in the world to Sammy. Not only did she lose her family, but her camp fam haven't been together in 6 months and it's broken her heart. But she keeps busy. She cooks, she cleans, she cares for bumpy. She tries to do anything but think about what's happened to her.

For yaz.. well she's the only one actively receiving therapy. So she's coping. I would bet she thought about quitting therapy and school to support Sammy after everything happened but Sammy refused to let this happen. Yaz is very pragmatic and probably fell into a mindset once or twice that something like this was only bound to happen eventually...Yasmina seemed maybe the least effected by the loss and I think that's probably entirely because she was actively speaking about the trauma and working through it with a support group on the island. Love you girl.....

[vegasthehedgehog]

Some moments worth taking note of:

And a little rant at the end

The mon finally realizing why Non needed his meds. This is big because it probably made her guilt so much worse. She finally realized how much pain Non must have been in.

Also, this scene shows me how ashamed that they still were of mental illness. Also, anyone notice the switch in his face. How did the dad go from upset to apathetic to angry in .2 seconds?

I get why he would be angry about the lie, but treating your son like that at his mom's funeral is crazy. Also, treating him like this after what Non went through is also not good. I understand he was about to leave anyways, but why decide to hurt the only kid you have left first? What's the point of being angry? You pretty much made New think that his mom's and your death, were his fault. That is a special kind of cruel. Harboring so much resentment toward your own kids is obnoxious. He didn't even let New explain or talk to him, except to tell him that he should have given up on Non like he did.

The parents failed the kids but acted like it was the kids' jobs to make their lives easy. Their failure is the cause of so much of this. They were falling to pieces but expected New to just be fine? Why are the parents allowed to fall apart but New wasn't allowed to be anything but Nons perfect older brother. He seemed to be the only one who felt guilty for being seen as better than Non and letting Non down. I know this ended with both parents dead but it doesn't change or excuse their behavior.

As someone with parents who seemed to think that it's the kids' job to take care of them while the kid acts as the adult and put together, these parents really irritated me. I didn't know that kids were supposed to be supported and loved unconditionally and taught how to live. I had to grow up because my parents would fall apart without someone looking out for them. If my dad was upset, it would be my job to deal with him. I had to be a perfect child who acted like an adult, and if I ever did anything where I needed support, I had no one. Non should have been able to get support from his parents but instead got yelled at for how people were looking at them. New didn't even feel comfortable enough to show emotion and tell his parents he wanted to take a break from being the perfect child because they couldn't stand to have two useless and problematic sons. Even in death, they were punishing their kids. And that hurts my heart.

[crownedinmarigolds]

This isnt apart of the game,(which is so fun and im loving learning about ppls vamps) but im feeling bold and not socially afraid- what IS/Was the deal with noa and her brother? What are her thoughts/feelings after all this time?

Ohhh thank you for being interested! I'm sorry if this comes out super rambling and incoherent! I guess it'd just be best to tell their story! It's really not as black and white as it appears, and feelings are extremely nuanced and messy when it comes to family and abuse. It seems easy as an outsider looking it to make commentary and theorize about what you would've done, but you just never know!

Joaquin Hidalgo is the eldest son to Vincento Hidalgo-Giovanni and his wife Ingrid Giovanni. The Hidalgo bloodline had only been a part of the Giovanni clan for a few generations, and young Vincento was a necromancer prodigy who married a main clan daughter who would bear his children and continue the family line. They were blessed with three sons - Joaquin, Eduardo, Ferdinand - and a little daughter, Noa. By all means they were very normal for a incredibly rich family with dealings in the local cartels of Mexico and the secret vampire clans that trace back to Italy. The parents seemed to get along, the children were growing up fine and developing their own ways and personalities. Joaquin certainly felt pressured as the eldest, but it was still "normal."

One evening the family was going out in a chauffeured vehicle, probably to dinner or maybe even a movie, when they were suddenly gunned down by unknown assailants. Joaquin at the time was thirteen and tackled little Noa, freshly seven, to the car floor where they dodged the hail, but the rest of the family were not so lucky. Mother and their other two brothers were killed instantly, while their father had seconds after to try and say something but ultimately couldn't, and the fresh orphans watched him die beside the rest of their already gone family. Joaquin promised Noa next to their bodies that he would never let her be hurt like this, and she believed him, and they vowed to be together for eternity. Not long thankfully after they were pulled from the car by people who called themselves their "family," where they were taken home and a bunch of strangers busied themselves with getting funerals set up and other various grown up things. A few days later, their father comes walking through the front door. Paler, walking with a cane from his injuries, strangely colder in personality, but THERE. Joaquin immediately felt like something was wrong, but Noa interpreted this as a miracle.

Over the years, Father ruled the house as a father would, but he ran it a bit crueler, a bit more seriously. Joaquin, having been old enough to really get that things were off, bit back and fought, and was often put back in his place through physical violence. Noa watched him go through this and learned to keep quiet if she wanted to not be struck. When she got old enough, Father finally revealed the vampiric nature of their bloodline to the both of them. Noa was then ghouled as soon as she could, her body still young, practically stunting her - but it gave her access to incredible magics. Joaquin was ghouled and practically made a mad dog bully for the human side of the clan, which pissed him off further. There was a weird mixture of feelings between the two of them - the jealousy of seeing his baby sister succeed where he always failed, the relief the pressure wasn't on him to be a necromancer, the fury of seeing her adoration and love of family being used to manipulate her. He loved Noa, she loved him, and things grew more and more confusing. He was allowed to go out but nothing satisfied him, especially when he took more and more vitae. She was locked inside the house for her protection, and also to study. In our personal headcanon (though this may be canon for Gio Ghouls??) the vitae makes one fiercely loyal to the Giovanni, and it twists one up to chase after family. Things did get a little "far" between them during this time, but they never fully culminated anything. Things got worse for Joaquin when a Tremere ghoul contact joined his little posse - Nythanel Loken - who became his sister's best friend and biggest advocate. Everything was coming up Noa and it bothered him, and there was a million confusing reasons why.

He finally decided to put his foot down when she revealed that Father told her that she would be Embraced. She was so excited, and then he was told straight from Father later he was going to be shipped off to Italy to both learn things and marry into a bloodline to essentially be a baby pumping factory until he was found worthy of an Embrace or died. No Noa, no real future other than providing some genetics. He knew through his contacts where to find the Sabbat, and he led them right to the family compound to rid the world of one more vampiric smear. However the Sabbat being the Sabbat went harder than he wanted - capturing him and killing and enslaving the spirits of many who were there and not giving him his sister. He had no idea where she was, but she wasn't with him. Eventually he escaped their clutches and ran to America, completely alone. He then dedicated his existence to becoming a hunter, using his knowledge during his time as a ghoul against vampiric scum and even other supernaturals. He met his buddy Ray who joined him for a few good years of hunting, and then it all came crashing down when he found Nyth and Noa again in Reno Nevada in 1993. It's been over a decade since he knew of Noa's whereabouts, and now he was so close. Years and years of weird feelings were crashing back, because it was all real again. He was past forty now, getting desperate to cling to something beyond hate again.

Eventually - Ray was killed by Joaquin for nearly killing Noa, and they were finally together for good this time. No Ray, seemingly no Nyth, and the family out of their hair. He clumsily culminated their long awaited reunion in a motel they ran off to hide in while she still mourned, Nyth's body close by, Ray's left behind, and poor Julian the ghoul in the next room over. Noa afterwards insisted she make a plan with the family to get Nyth back to her, which pissed Joaquin off but he was in love and back with her again so what could he do.

She told him they could be together for good when he was Embraced by her or someone within the family, but he staunchly refused to be turned. He never wants the vitae again, he never wants to become a supernatural creature. He wants to be with her for Eternity, but he cannot become an immortal. This is the defining moment that leads to his demise at her hands. As she worked with the Family and eventually the Setites to bring Nyth back to full health, Joaquin grew more and more irritating and controlling. He hated her deeper descent into Necromancy and dealing with two-faced Kindred, he hated her pulling away from him when they were finally together. She was clearly furious with him, and it felt like it was falling apart.

One night she was sweet to him again, saying that it was all almost over. Nythanel's notes and her own studies mixing with Setite sorcery were going to bring her friend back. They just needed a body to house Nyth. Joaquin killed Julian the ghoul for Noa, and together they prepared the ritual to "resurrect" Nythanel. Joaquin also had the gut feeling this night wouldn't just end in Julian's death, but his own. Noa approached the ritual room dressed in something clingy, and when Nyth and Julian's body was prepped, she explained the rest of the ritual required more blood, more life. They were together for the last time, Noa drinking the vitae direct him him, and in his own terrible way he was happy. She was happy. He was finally satisfying to her. Joaquin died happy.

OKAY SO. It just feels so rambly! Feel free to ask for more specifics I TRIED to do bare minimum but uh….

Noa after this time loves Joaquin, and she still can't let him go even now in modern nights. She knows his spirit is out there, and he will make his way back to her somehow.

It's just very confusing because yes, he took advantage of her and abused her, but she loved him so much. They in a way were all the other had, they just coped very differently… ahhh. Sorry. I don't know if I'm really relaying everything properly! Thank you for asking!!!

[lasertee]

ive seen ppl saying that Bellara is JUST like Merrill as well as others saying that they are nothing alike but i just gotta be a centrist on this one.

both are young dalish mages who are studying ancient artifacts from elvenahn (notably eluvians) and who are trying to find a way forward for their people. something similar about the both of them I think is that they both kind of surface level seem very bubbly and optimistic. this is true for both of them but it isn't all there is to them. Merrill is a lot more perceptive and insightful then the other characters in da2 (out of all the party members I think her and Varric are the two who are most aware of their places in a 'story').

in a similar vein underneath Bellara's (still genuine) optimism is someone who understands the price of failure and who knows suffering first-hand. Bellara always expects a happy ending for her serials, and will always try and find a way to save her brother, but she also snaps at the veil jumpers when they aren't being as rigorous with their safety as she feels they need to. she also has pretty consistent dialogue with other members of the group about her not sleeping/resting properly due to her pushing herself too hard. These moments of her pushing herself/ others too hard is again shared with Merrill. where Bellara blames herself for the loss of her brother (as she tells us at the end of her first quest), Merrill blames herself for the loss of Tamlen + Maherial. even years after the fifth blight the other members of Sabrae remark on how much losing them both affected Merrill, and a vision of Tamlen appears at the end of Merrills act 3 quest A new path to taunt her. so far I've pretty much just listed similarities but honestly I think the two have one major difference between them. in Bellara's quest of Cyrian's funeral, she can (depending on choices) talk about the dalish funeral held for her grandmother, and how it helped with the grief. Bellara grew up dalish, surrounded by her family. meanwhile Merrill was NOT born to the clan she was apart of. Merrill's clan was from Nevarra, but since clan Sabrae needed a first, she had to leave her family behind at the age of four. from banters we know that Keeper Marethari looked after Merrill well enough, she wasn't neglected. but she was still taken from her family at an extremely early age, and she never really seemed to fit into her new home.

i also think it is telling that Merrill always seems to have a crush on Hawke (if im gonna be real i kinda think all of the da2 companions are in love a little bit with Hawke but still). a huge part of Merrill's character is just how lonely she is. she loses her first clan, and then loses her second. all she has left are these random people who hang out with her at the hanged man and also fight people in the sewers with her. after da2, when everyone has scattered, who does Merrill have left? I only think its natural for her to develop a really close bond with Hawke. Hawke is also the only person who can actually believe in her. none of her clan, including her teacher believe in what she's doing, and see her as anything but a danger. Fenris and Anders basically never have anything nice to say (Sebastian also threatens to get the groups mages put away for apostasy but I also don't know how serious he was about that. like he might have just been trying to prod at Anders idk). even Varric doesn't fully trust what she's doing. the only person outside of friendship path Hawke who isn't trying to talk her down is Isabela, and that comes from Isabela's faith in Merrill, rather than Isabela's faith in Merrill's work and it's importance. she couldn't care less about that mirror. but in complete contrast, Bellara is surrounded by people who a) believe in her and b) believe in the importance of her work. the first and maybe most formative of those people is her brother Cyrian. it was Cyrian who strove to find the nadas dirthalen WITH her. they shared their goals together. Merrill never had anyone like that. in place of Merrill's Marethari, Bellara had Strife, where one only ever doubted, Strife never shows anything but complete belief in Bellara's capabilities. Bellara also had Irelin (her now ex). In the near beginning of the game, before we, the player, have ever met Bellara, Irelin tells us that she is one of the greatest minds the Veil Jumpers have. Bellara is also part of this entire organisation who is dedicated to the same thing she is, Merrill never had anything close to this.

The key difference between the two is that Merrill always had to do this alone. Bellara may have people taken from her but they will always believe in her, and in what she is trying to achieve. I don't really have a proper conclusion because I've said everything but also Merrill has the vallaslin of mythal and Bellara has the vallaslin of dirthamen. nothing to say about that I just found it interesting.

[chriscrosswallflower-blog]

Alright, I have finally finished watching a Good Girl's Guide to Murder and I collected my thoughts as I went. Overall I really enjoyed it, though some of the plot changes weren't my favorite.

Spoilers below for the TV show!

Things I Loved

How awkward Pip is - I don't think we get a good look at this in the book since it is mostly through Pip's eyes, but I love how goofy and awkward she is!

Pip's friendship group! I love how much closer they seem in the show and how they accept Pip as the weirdo she is without a single thought, especially since she is different from them in so many ways. I also love seeing more of Connor and his funny personality

I love that we get to see more of Cara and Pip's relationship - they are precious and you can tell how ride or die they are for each other

Lauren - she adds so much to their friend group and I just love her so much. Ant, stay tf away from this baby!

The PipRavi sleepover - my heart couldn't take it!

I like the introduction of the da Silva siblings backstory. In the books they seemed pretty estranged so it's not as obvious why Nat is upset about Pip accusing her brother. Obviously that would bother anyone to an extent but with the introduction of how close they are/were it will make a lot more sense moving forward

Max (and Dan honestly) seem creepy from the start. I swear anytime either of them came on screen I got a terrible feeling - though Dan did begin to seem more good intentioned after talking to Pip in the police car (still creepy though)

Name drops of characters that will be important later - non-readers won't think anything of it but it's funny to hear Stella and Jamie name dropped so casually

It's interesting to see Mr. Ward acting so normal and casual - he does the same thing in the books but seeing it is so unnerving. I think the plot line of him forcing Pip to change her EPQ really adds another layer to his character too

BARNEY'S FUNERAL AND THE TENNIS BALLS!!! 😭 the "why didn't anyone help him" almost broke me.

Ravi being the one to suggest that they call off the investigation hits so damn hard. He feels so hopeless and trapped but the only thing he cares about is protecting and reassuring Pip

Since we have a more objective POV, I love seeing the little signs of how smitten Pip is with Ravi from the beginning - much more than she ever acknowledges in the book

Pip going in the junk yard scared the hell out of me - she got wayyy too close to DTK there.

Becca and Andie being close makes her death so much more tragic

Cara has a TRACKER on Pip?! "Maybe she's not as smart as she thinks she is," man I cackled!

OMG Sal and Andie talking about running away together hurt so bad - seeing how much they loved each other makes the whole story so much more heart breaking

Regardless of if it's in the book or in the show - Mr. Ward talking about how he talked to Sal about Cambridge so he would die thinking about something good will always turn my stomach. That man is such a disgusting mfer

Pip threatening Max at the very end is so amazing. That little pat on the shoulder? 🤌🤌

Things I disliked

Pip seems a lot less informed in the show - like seriously, book Pip would be horrified. You broke into the Bell's house without GLOVES?

I think this is partially because we don't see Pip's POV and much about her suspects - the only two people she really seems to suspect are Dan and Jason and that really only comes into play at the end. I wonder if people who just watch the show will even guess that she suspected Naomi, Nat, and even Howie throughout most of the book

I think we all mourn for "real men wear floral when trespassing" 😢

Honestly, the storyline with Pip's dad might be my least favorite thing. I loved their cute, playful relationship in the book and how she ardently defends her blended family, but in the show, even before the cheating thing, it seems like she didn't really like him? That made me so sad! (Also, does he call her chicken in the UK edition of the books? I really liked Pickle as a nickname!)

Nat's storyline is strange, like I understand to an extent why they did it but book Nat would have a fit if she figured out she was supposedly friends with Andie 😂 I think she loses quite a bit of her character building when we leave out how much her nudes getting leaked affected her (it seems like almost a minor thing in the show) and her act of violence while trying to go to college that put her on probation. Especially since it's a large reason why Pip suspected her in the first place (her reasoning seems pretty weak in the show)

Where the heck is Stanley?! He's pretty important for season 2; of all the characters to cut you wouldn't think it would be him!

I really miss the scene where Ravi and Pip recreated the timeline to prove Sal's innocence - it was such a potent moment!

I miss hearing Naomi's backstory - we get a bit of it implicitly by the way she acts and her confession, but I think it adds a lot to her character to know more about her anxiety and depression and how it caused her to drop out of college

We miss some of Pip's bad ass moments! Again, this is possibly because we are seeing things from an objective POV and we can't see inside of her head, but I loved reading about how knowledgeable she is about true crime, how much research she did, and how much that informed her actions. I also missed seeing how much she defended the Singh family and Ravi specifically. That scene in the grocery store where she told off the cashier for being so rude to Ravi is one that I dearly miss

Pip accusing Max of raping Becca doesn't hit as hard when she did it over the phone and I hate that he didn't truly confess like he did in the book. And they didn't bring up Nat's rape at all (or Nat in general very much). Her confronting Max and Naomi was such a badass moment for Pip and I'm sad that we missed it

Becca's wig in that flashback. Yikes.

Becca taking Pip to the well (or whatever it is - I feel like it was called something else but it's not coming to mind) made her seem less sympathetic to me than when she just drugged her without much of a plan. "Now I'm going to have to put you in there with her," was so freaking sinister

Things I'm not sure about

In some ways I like the addition of Pip seeing Andie and Sal after they obviously argued - the guilt she felt after that and how that would motivate her to look into the case makes a lot of sense. However, I think I prefer her only looking into the case because she trusted and believed in Sal because of how kind he was to her. I think that the fact that she rarely doubted Sal in the books was really compelling and we lose a lot of that when Pip is concerned that she might have played a part in Sal finding Andie after their fight, therefore possibly contributing to her death

I don't think the video to lure the killer out was necessary but I think they did it to move the story along quicker. I wish we could have seen more of Pip's notes since that is what they wanted in the books when they kidnapped (dognapped?) Barney

I think I prefer them finding Andie's planner over the note in her bunny - it seems to make more sense than just a random note and I like how it gives us a small look into her life (her struggling to read the Revengers was a cute little detail and showed us that she is still a teenager). That being said, the note does the job and it feels a bit nit picky, so I'm not super upset by it

Having Isla tell Pip about Sal's murder was interesting - I'm not super mad about it but it definitely changed a lot, especially since neither of them think she's Andie and he keeps her captive to further hide Sal's murder. Somehow it makes Mr. Ward even more sinister

Having the plot line of Ravi leaving, coming back, and then him and Cara track her down was definitely different. I can decide which way I prefer it. Ravi leaving seemed really random and rushed but I did like that Cara had a part in her rescue (see the hilarity of the tracker above)

Though I enjoyed seeing PipRavi get together by the end of the season, I will miss their awkward tip toeing around each other as Ravi tries to ask her out!

All in all I really enjoyed it - I think it's one of those that I'll also get a lot out of after rewatching it. If you got this far, first off, I'm impressed! And second, let me know your thoughts!!

[viranellee]

the hate show eddie gets when he's completely justified in his anger towards billy will always be something i will never understand. his opinions, ideas, comments, views being treated as irrelevant & unimportant for years, being forced to move to bass (dare i mention that the only reason he agreed in the first place was out of his genuine desire to appease billy), having his parts literally re-recorded by billy without his knowledge or consent, not even being allowed to write said parts, his only moment to shine during the pittsburgh concert and make his grandmother proud being stolen by billy are all very understandable reasons for his deep-rooted resentment. in a cruel twist of fate watching the love of his life, who happens to be billy's wife and mother of his children, choose her marriage with billy, who eddie deems an unworthy husband and father, over him, reiterates and confirms his deepest fear - that compared to billy, he will always be the second choice. never seen, never heard, never appreciated.

the worst part is that i really don't think eddie truly hates billy the way we're led to believe. all he's ever wanted is the approval and praise of a man who couldn't care less about giving it. when billy does give him that approval at the chicago concert, albeit forced and wholly ungenuine, eddie is quick to tell him "i love you, brother", and while we inwardly cringe at his inability to read the room, it's completely logical that he can't. eddie reacts instinctively, rushing to thank billy for the praise he's been craving all his life. the fact that he has a black eye due to billy himself, who had punched him just an hour or two ago, the fact that any shred of true camaraderie and friendship that might have existed between them is completely and utterly ruined because of eddie's one-night affair with camilla doesn't occur to eddie. in that brief moment before billy brings him back to reality with a few hard-hitting words whispered in his ear, his biggest dream has come true.

of course, this isn't meant to excuse some of the things eddie has said or done. he's very flawed, as the writing is very quick to point out, and the magnitide of his flaws and wrongdoings is amplified through his bitterness and jealousy, which ultimately influences his decision to leave the band. but as a final nail in the coffin, as if eddie hasn't gone through enough already, the show, led by its surprising pro-daisybilly agenda, decides to punish eddie in a move that can only be described as "every tongue that rises against billy dunne shall fall" and strips him of his original book ending, in which he becomes a successful record producer. instead, he is given by far the most unsatisfying and saddest ending of all the band members. graham, while no longer working in the music field, gets what he wants most - a happy family. daisy and warren continue their careers and collaborate together, even having children of their own. karen becomes the frontwoman of a punk band. billy gets to enjoy a long, happy marriage with camilla, and goes on to pursue a renewed relationship with his second love daisy, aided by his late wife's blessing. eddie, on the other hand, hopelessly tries to replicate, or at least re-live, the six's success through mediocre bands, but to no avail. locked in his bubble of shame, he doesn't attend the funeral of the only woman he has ever loved, in fear that his presence there is unwanted. it's as pathetic as it is tragic.

he looks at julia dunne, a carbon copy of her mother, and talks, talks, talks to the camera, hoping that it will give him closure. it doesn't. nothing ever will.

[dumbboio]

AFTG fanfic

TW: mentions of past abuse, death of loved one, anti-religous speech

Andrew minyard sat in the pews, staring up at the coffin in a daze. This wasn't real. This wasn't real. This wasn't real! Andrew knew it wasn't because it was all wrong. He was the one meant to be up there. He swore- promised- that he would be the first of the twins to die. He’d be caught dead before he ended up the one to bury his twin. And yet here he was. Alive when Aaron wasn't. Andrew and Aaron never liked each other. Never let the other get too close, but in the end they were always there when they needed each other. They kept a distance, but nothing could truly stop them from being two halves of a whole… nothing.. except this.

 It had taken all of Andrews strength to pull himself off the couch when it was time to come to the funeral. It had taken every inch of willpower to look in the mirror, to see his twins face on himself, and still try to feel that comfortable numbness. That numbness was gone now, washed away by guilt, and hurt, and regret, and anger, and hatred, and everything he'd tried so hard to push away. To keep at bay. And in the end, his effort didn't even pay off. He ended up showing up to his own brothers funeral ten minutes late because he couldn't get his damn eyes to stop watering. He couldn't choke down that knot in his throat. He sobbed for the first time in ten years, alone, in his dark room. He let himself feel weak and helpless for the first time since he was a twelve year old all by himself, only this time instead of struggling under a person he was struggling under a wave of dispare. A stormy ocean that kept throwing wave after wave at him, not letting him up for air. Suffocating him. Even as he sat in the chapel listening to Nicky spew some nonsense about how important Aaron was and how smart and hardworking he was, Andrew still wasn't sure how ever managed to stop the tears. He didn't have the energy to look in the mirror and fix himself up, so if he looked like a wreck, then so be it.

He shifted his gaze from the coffin to the pulpit, still not listening to Nicky, or even really seeing him, just staring at the pulpit and wondering how the hell he was supposed to be able to get up there and speak. How he was expected to do this at all.

Nicky finally ended with some scripture about the dead and the afterlife then stepped off. Andrew felt dread tighten in his throat. He was next after Katelyn. Aaron's annoying girlfriend. What did she know? She didn’t know him. She didn't know anything. But then, did Andrew really know anything either? He was an imposter in Aaron's life. A stranger with his face who came in and killed Aaron's mom and locked him in a bathroom. What right did Andrew have to even think about stepping up there to speak? Andrew felt himself getting angry and only briefly paused to wonder if it was really anger or grief.

He closed his eyes and did everything in his power to drown out the cheerleader's voice. Someone grabbed Andrew's hand, but it was too much. The emotions, the noise, the fucking air conditioning on his face, and now this? Touch? Physical touch? Without thinking Andrew shoved the hand off him and didn't bother to open his eyes to see who it was or even to apologize. His clothes rubbed infuriatingly on his skin. His skin felt wrong on his bones. Nothing was okay. Everything was too much. This wasn't right. This can't have been real. He refused to let it be… but then he couldn't will himself out of this. He couldn't just threaten Aaron to stand up out of the coffin and come back to life. 

Andrew knew Aaron hated him, but never did he think his brother would go to this extent to punish him. To get back at him. Or whatever the hell he was trying to do.

Shit.

Katelyn walked down the steps back into the audience. It was Andrews turn. 

He opened his eyes. The light was too bright.

Wymack had helped him put a speech together, but in the end Andrew decided it was bullshit and he tore it up. Now he didn't know he'd say.

He took a breath and stepped up. There weren't a lot of people there. The foxes of course, Katelyn came and brought her roommate for moral support, coach wymack , Abby, and Betsy sat in the middle row, behind all the team, the hemmick’s amazingly and annoyingly showed up, the only barrible face in that row was Nicky's. And even that got on Andrew's nerves.

It's okay to grieve. He reminded himself. He and Betsy had gone through that a day after the passing. It's okay to feel those feelings.

It didn't feel okay. Nothing was okay. He was gonna lose it. He caught sight of Neil's annoying face. His stupid sympathy filled expression. Andrew didn't need sympathy! He needed his brother back. Needed this to be a dream.

More than a dozen eyes watched him standing there. Saying nothing. Andrew knew he needed to speak. Needed to get this over with, but his chest hurt and his throat was in a knot and talking would hurt. He didn't want his hurt to be displayed like that in front of everyone. He looked down and breathed. In. Out. In. Pause. Out. In. Pause. Out. In pause out. In pause out. In pause out in pause out in out in out in out in out inoutinoutinout, a hand touched his back softly and everything stopped. Frozen. The room that hasn't realized before was spinning was now calm.

“Andrew? You alright?” It was a familiar voice… Neil… fucking josten. Andrew nodded and pushed Neil back.

“You know Aaron wouldn't want this.” Andrew said at last. No one seemed to understand so he went on. “To be in a church on his last day above ground. God never helped him. Take offense Luther. God was never there for him when his mom died. When he almost OD’d as a fucking ten year old. When he was beaten. But here we are, supposed to be remembering him in a church. ‘A place of worship’. Like offering his soul up to a god who never even gave him a chance. What bullshit.” And with that Andrew kicked the pulpit and stormed off the stand, back to his seat. He regretted not storming out after he'd sat down, but what's done was done.

****

Andrew took one quick look at his brother's face. He looked asleep. Calm. It was unnerving. Like Andrew could just shake him awake. But knowing he couldn't made it unbearable.

Andrew tried. He tried so hard, but he couldn't stay to watch them bury Aaron.

He left early. The others could squeeze in with the upperclassmen. Andrew needed to leave. He needed to be alone.

Add it to the list of things you hate me for. He thought bitterly, right before stopping in the parking lot of fox tower.

[starsfic]

Everything R.O.T.S.

Summary: Luke and Leia Organa-Skywalker, upon their aunt and uncle’s sudden death, receive the home of Anakin Skywalker- a long-missing former child actor and their father. Up in the attic, they discover a series of old tapes, related to Anakin’s most popular show as a child: Anakin the Adventurer. However, something is strangely sinister about the tapes and the twins find themselves trapped in the attic. Can they survive?

Anakin Skywalker had been...unstable.

That was what their aunts and uncles had said when the twins got old enough to better understand their father. Uncle Ben had known him best, being his adopted brother and suddenly father figure when Grandpa Qui-Gon had passed in a car crash, the ink not even dry on the adoption papers. Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru had only met Anakin once or twice when he came back to his hometown for his mother's funeral, and Anakin kept the barest contact with his stepbrother. Uncle Bail and Aunt Breha knew his wife, Padme, better.

It was what they all agreed on.

Anakin had shitty mental health all his life, and the death of Padme, just weeks after they were born, had slid him into instability. Giving them up to the Whitesuns had been for the best. Still, as Luke got out of the car and eyed the Victorian-style house, there was no reason for him to barely get in contact with them.

At least he left them the house in case the Whitesuns ever died.

"Looks good," he said, eyeing the place. It looked to have been a cheerful cherry red once, but the color had darkened into a more menacing scarlet and the touches of white were now chipped and stained. "Some of the wood looks warped and the garden definitely needs a clean-up," It went up to his waist.

"Let's hope the inside looks better," Leia said, her voice no-nonsense. Only the tension in her jaw and eyes revealed how angry she was. "I just want to get this done."

"Right, yeah, wedding planning." It wasn't just the wedding planning that Leia was mad about, Luke knew that, but if he brought up the difficult topic of their father and his sudden disappearance, then Leia would get mad at him.

The key sank easily into the lock. The door opened with a creak that sounded more like a scream. Luke added oil to the mental list as he and Leia walked in. He felt a brow raise when he looked around.

Anakin Skywalker had been a famous actor up until his disappearance. Adding to the salary of first a mayor and then a senator that their mother brought in, he had been wealthy.

The house didn't show it.

It was incredibly barebones. A simple couch and coffee table sat in the living room, facing a small TV. The kitchen was small, with bare counters and a small table with only one chair. Luke couldn't see the rest of it, but he could imagine how spartan it had to be.

"I guess...he didn't really feel the need for anything fancy," he said, wiping at the couch. His hand came back grey. "I don't even see any decorations."

"I do."

Leia hovered by the coffee table. There was one book on there. Luke had assumed it was just a book with a grey cover, something to break up the emptiness, but as Leia wiped at it, it revealed a lovely green book. She flipped it open, revealing what appeared to be a picture of their ninth birthday party. The camera had caught Luke sobbing over the fact that Leia was allowed to wear a pretty dress while he wasn't.

"I guess Aunt Beru must've sent him all our pictures," Luke said, filled with a sudden hunger to see more. Is that what was in the attic, according to her note? More signs that their father loved them?

Leia seemed to not share his hunger, her eyes oddly blank. "Y...yeah," she said, very quietly. "I guess so."

He didn't let the awkward silence settle. This house was already full of it. "Wanna go find the attic and whatever Aunt Beru wanted us to see?"

"...Yeah."

The two headed up together. The stairs didn't go up to the second floor, but there was a trapdoor in the ceiling. Luke grabbed the rope and yanked it with all his might, but it stayed shut. Leia wasted no time in grabbing his hands and helping him yank until the trapdoor opened, just like the door downstairs, with a loud creak. A plume of dust announced the stairs coming down.

Luke gestured grandly. "Ladies first."

Leia sighed but headed up the stairs. Luke followed suit, wincing as a light clicked on above.

The attic was about the length of the house, except there was so much junk that there was just a clear path. Luke glanced over his shoulder at a rumble of thunder, making a face when his eyes trailed down and he realized that there was a rat trap.

"Anakin the Adventurer."

"What?"

Leia hovered at the end of the attic, next to a small old TV. There was a desk set up next to it, with one of those conspiracy corkboards. "This was all that was here marked with our names," she said, holding up a VHS tape, a sticky note stuck on top with their names. Unlike everything downstairs, it wasn't grey and dusty. The image had faded a bit, but there was no hiding the smile of a cartoon blonde boy. "Why have us come here just to watch some old series?"

"I don't know. I...think I know the series?" Luke took the tape from Leia and eyed it. Now that he was closer, the boy on the front did look like the few pictures he had seen of their father as a kid. "It was some kind of Dora the Explorer rip-off?"

Leia sighed. "I didn't come here to watch that."

"Maybe they taped something over it?" Luke suggested. "Wouldn't hurt to look."

His sister stood there for a few seconds, clearly weighing it in her head. She finally sighed, grabbing at her coat and shrugging it off. "Fine. Just one episode."

Luek nodded as he slid the tape into the player.

[zalrb]

PLL 1x08 Review - As Per Anon Request

If Toby and Jenna really did sleep together and a therapist knows, like I'm not sure what the laws would be with regards to informing the parents if the parents don't know already, and I'm aware that this show doesn't care about the law, but it makes no sense for Jenna and Toby to be in the same house anymore.

Do TVD and PLL share a theme? Their recap theme sounds very much like one of TVD's themes.

"How did he get into an ivy league school?" You can get into an ivy league school and listen to punk, Aria. 🙄

Must've been affirmative action for goths and emos? Really Spencer?

"I wish we could choose the age we wanted to be and just stay there." I bet you thought that was really deep, Aria.

"It's gruesome." No, the correct word would be morbid. It's morbid.

"The fact that is a one pay cheque family." Does your ex husband not pay child support and alimony?

Jason does not look like he would be Alison's brother.

I mean, if I was minding my business and then got blinded because some girls decided to stink bomb my house, I would mess with them too, the fuck.

"How are we going to stop her without looking like bitches?" I mean, you were all complicit in blinding her. We are well past that.

I am lowkey fascinated with how horrible Shay is in this.

Oh yay, an Ezra flashback.

"So Noel's at this place where he wants to ask her but not if she's going to say no." That's a Noel thing, Sean, who the hell wants to be rejected asking someone out?

Also, every time I see Noel in the subtitles, I pronounce it Noël in my head. I guess some French Immersion stuck, idk.

Oh God, Maya and the slouchy beanie. That was my look for a while.

I like how they're "selling stuff online" but won't just work part-time somewhere.

I like when Aria thought that Emily's dad may be sick or dead or hurt she asks "Is he OK?" from the door and doesn't rush over to sit next to her. Details.

Aria and Emily should also never be alone in a scene together, they need a scene partner who can carry them and neither one can do that for the other.

CAN JENNA WEAR SOMETHING OTHER THAN BLACK.

"Do you ever get tired of going after the low hanging fruit?" "Don't ruin a perfect day, Spencer." LMAO.

Oooh A said "I'll be watching just like Tom Sawyer" and Tom Sawyer went to his own funeral so omg it's a cluuuueeeeeee OR IS IT?

Hanna shakes her head a lot because she's trying to emphasize something.

Hanna, REPORT HIM.

"She deserves this memorial and so do we." LOL Spencer's speech would just solidify that I would fuck shit up at hat memorial.

Nothing has indicated to me why they were all friends with her.

"I would write a cheque but I don't trust my cheque booking skills for now" how does that make sense in this context?

Is Aria's dad and Hanna's mom going to be a thing because that would be funny.

"The secrets of the girls cuddled up in Alison's bedroom" what brother speaks this way about his sister or her friends.

I feel like I remember that there's something off about him. Idk.

"Just because I made it up doesn't mean it's not true." Alison, listen to that sentence.

"Aria, the lights in this how are dimming because of all of the energy you're sucking out of the air." HA.

"I mean aren't you always going to be 'The Friend of That Girl Who Was Murdered'?" ... no?

Aria, just go home.

"So I guess this guy was serious." Yes, we made out a couple of times and had the same amount of conversations. And he's a predator.

I like how sterile the interiors of all the houses look. They didn't even try to make it seem like people lived there.

"Don't sell your things." Just get a JOB.

Look at Lucy doing this memorial speech, trying to act.

Couldn't even smash all of the tiles?