#but even if you're genuinely monogamous

[rabid-wolfie]

here's your reminder that even the most "sexually liberated" people among us (laugh it up I know) will immediately pivot into pearl-clutching prudes the moment you mention doing something that makes them even slightly uncomfortable!

fucking hell i forget that some people violently hate polyamory and are way too proud of admitting it :/

[biracy]

Anti-poly sentiment and biphobia do definitely stem from a lot of the same ideological places, all of which are either direct reinforcements of or sociocultural remnants of heteropatriarchy, of the historical precedent of men literally owning their wives. This has evolved and shifted gender dynamics, but the core of it remains the same. The suggestion that their partner may be bisexual is "threatening" to these kinds of controlling, possessive people because it suggests that their partner may be attracted to people who are not them, or who are not "like" them, superficially (i.e. of the same gender). There is a long-running expectation for bisexual people to eventually "settle down" - i.e., become monogamous and cease identifying as bisexual. Why would you keep identifying as bisexual when you're with me? Because you want to cheat on me? And anti-poly sentiment carries the same idea - "my partner belongs to me, my partner can never look at anyone else, if I even had to think about my partner having sex with someone who is not me I would kill them and then myself" is exactly the same as the rhetoric deployed by controlling, biphobic partners to bisexual people. I don't even want to do the "well polyamory isn't for everyone! Monogamists are super valid too!!" thing because quite honestly, I think you NEED to be able to grapple with the reality that it is extremely unrealistic to expect your partner to only ever be attracted to you, and that you have been fed the lie that a "healthy relationship" means expecting two people to fulfill all of each other's romantic, sexual, and emotional needs for their entire lives by a patriarchal society. I genuinely think more people need to think about polyamory in the way I think more people should think about bisexuality - accept that it might happen, accept that it isn't a slight against you if your partner is bi or poly, accept that you will not and SHOULD NOT be the center of your partner's universe for the rest of your life, and if you can't accept these things I really don't think you're emotionally mature enough for a long-term relationship at all.

(and of course not all bisexuals are polyamorous and not all polyamorists are bisexual but I am both and it's my post. so.)

[whoviandoodler]

been thinking about pok a lot again and that moment when riz told him sklonda was dating gorthalax (in some capacity or another) and pok just went quiet for a bit before he wished her well and like. he's riz's father to such a degree that it hurts. he died young, got to paradise and then said, ok time to go back to work, chop chop. and he does take breaks to listen to riz at his grave and he works in a beautiful meadow when he's not down in hell and -literally speaking- he does sit down but metaphorically he keeps on going and going.

and i'm just imagining that- obviously he knows that he's dead, right? but the human* brain is weird in that way where you'll know things, and you might even sit with them and think you've processed them, but then something will hit you out of left field and you'll realize there are so many aspects of the situation you hadn't internalized yet, and i think that one of those aspects for pok was sklonda, or rather all the dimensions in which her life branched off after he died. because with riz he'd always been painfully aware that his kid was growing up and changing, but with sklonda it's a bit more complicated, it's a bit easier to process the grief of being apart from her, purely on an unconscious level, as being away for work. he's working, she's working, she probably tells him about her work and about riz and riz includes his mom in his stories and it's like, oh this is horribly painful, that i can't be there, but in a way he and sklonda share a lot of what they used to when he was working abroad, no matter how far apart- they're always connected by their love for each other and the quiet but omnipresent nuptial tie and the state of being riz's parents.

and then he's suddenly hit with the reality of an area of sklonda's life that hadn't been on his mind before, considering they were happily and monogamously married. truly just a matter of like, this is not a space you occupy anymore, you're fucking dead, until death do us part and all that, and she might still love you but she loves you like a dead husband like a source of grief like the man she once knew not a living partner. and it's neither of their faults, it's purely a tragedy, and he genuinely wishes her the best because he loves her, he doesn't want her to be alone nor does he expect her to be faithful past reason and the vow they made to each other. but the grief of it still really fucking stings, doesn't it?

[kannouo]

These are the ramblings of a very tired person on melatonin tablets, but on the topic of Asmodeus in a relationship.

He's the avatar of lust, and in his own words, feels a very real and genuine connection with most if not all people he meets. I don't think it's necessarily a hot take to say that this man would have difficulty with a monogamous relationship, but, I don't think he would cheat. Or get into that situation in the first place.

He feels no shame about his lustful desires and is very open about his needs throughout the entirety of both games. I don't understand why he would suddenly start to hide what he needs just to have a relationship with someone where he'd feel "tied down". No, I think he'd be very clear and honest with any potential partners that he needs an open relationship.

He still loves you in a way he doesn't anyone else. Nobody has been quite so equal to him in his eyes as you are. But even so, he isn't going to commit himself to a relationship he knows he'd be unhappy in, and he doesn't want you to suffer heartbreak because of him. That's the last thing he wants. So, right from the start, he lets you know how it's going to be.

If you aren't comfortable with an open relationship, he won't push you, but if that's the case then it's best for the both of you if you don't pursue anything further. If you are, then great. It's not a one-sided thing either. You're free to sleep around as well, obviously he does not care. lmao.

At the end of the day however, he still loves you above all else. He's quick to quell any insecurities you may harbour over the dynamic you both have.

[deirdreskye]

I used to think of cheating/being an accessory to cheating as this far-away Bad behavior that only cruel people did and that I’d never stay friends with someone who was cheating on their partner, but recently my girlfriend and I fooled around a bit with my friend who has a monog cis girlfriend (it started when the three of us were blasted off our asses at a party and then just kinda… continued… the next day even after we were all sober) and I’m feeling a good 60/40 mixture of severe guilt and anxiousness vs “this rules actually” about the whole thing

I feel bad because her gf is genuinely super nice. but also my friend says my girlfriend and I made her cum 7+ times in a row continuously and in ways she hasn’t been able to in years because cis girls always make her top and don’t touch her in the ways she likes to be touched. so a sick little part of my heart wants us to steal her away and make her cum over and over forever

am I going to hell and if so how 2 repent

I thought you were going to hell until I got to the second paragraph and realized we're talking about a trans girl suffering under the yoke of monogamous cis girlfriend comptop. now I think you're going to heaven but cheating is bad so like you'll probably need to do a few weeks in purgatory. but it's like, a nice purgatory. They'll have movies there but the kind of movies they have on airplanes. School of Rock and the Dungeons and Dragons movie, that sort of thing.

[mariii1]

♡YOUR NEXT HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP♡

(These piles are hella long, a lot came thru, this is open to everyone including ace/aro peeps 🤗 got this idea from FairySagMother on yt <3)

☆ Piles start from top left with pile 1 ☆

YALL messages came throughh, I made a good choice buying this new oracle deck. ALSO the theme card of this reading is the waterfall card because it was in FIVE of the six piles 😭. The oracke deck is Herbiary by Maia Toll if you wanna buy it 😜. I definitely won't be super active in the next 6 months tbh because I'm incredibly stressed out and a lot is happening especially with my physical health, just a heads up...ALSO THANK YOU FOR 777 FOLLOWERS 😘 FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸

1. If you felt like people in the past were very selfish in relationships including your parents, this person is the opposite. They don't have you around just cause they want your attention, they genuinely care about your feelings and interests. You'll actually be able to connect with this person without feeling like things need to be transactional. If you feel you struggle with this concept especially if you have a low self esteem, working it out will bring this relationship in much faster. There's also no rush, no lovebombing and then ghosting, or trying to get you to commit quickly. This person seems very reassured within themselves and they expect you to not abruptly ghost/leave them without communicating why. I'm listening to Sociopathic Dance Queen and Feel Complete (by Pink Panthress); this person is the opposite of the antagonists in these songs. I hate being really woo woo but everything will happen as it should within this relationship. Your lives might be a mess but this relationship might be the only stable/secure thing when you get into it. I'm mostly getting romantic vibes but this could be platonic as well, although it will most likely start as a friendship and progress.

2. The cards were flying out so you either have a lot happening in your life rn and I'm getting for most of you, several healthy relationships will come in at the same time. If you're monogamous, you'll have several healthy options to choose from; if not, get ready to be to busy. You'll at least have a really good friend. I'm getting that with all of these people you are able to be vulnerable and specifically you're able to share interests especially if they're niche. Many or most of these relationships will last for a long time even if you do walk away from them at some point. If you're spiritual or religious your either going to meet someone who challenges your religious beliefs, particularly those that are restrictive or oppressive. They are not an atheist, they could actually be in the same religion as you but the are more self-assured and self-sufficient. If you're someone who often relies on the universe or a higher power to do things for you or to make them come your way, this person is going to force you out of that mindset. I'm specifically getting this will happen because you don't want to lose them and you'll see this mindset isn't actually working for you. They let you know it's ok to chase sometimes, especially when it comes to your own personal goals. This is specifically coming from that longterm friend I was getting at the beginning. I'm not really getting romance still, so love might be on the backburner for awhile.

3. I'm strongly getting this is a healthy s€xua1 relationship. It's not even a situationship tbh; you could be learning from a dominatrix or shibari master or maybe you pay to have that experience one day. I'm getting this might sound outlandish for some of you but a few of you are from pile 2 and this might come randomly or you might decide to do it on a whim. This person is very attractive and they take their job or interest seriously. They genuinely want you to feel comfortable and enjoy yourself. Especially if you are a s£x worker, this is someone you go out of your way to see orrr it's a new romantic partner. The emphasis may still be on s€x especially if you do OF, they'll probably help out, but they actually still have a personality and you can get along with them. I'm specifically getting a femme woman, or someone just who's afab but not super masculine. They are very sweet and attentive during play and have good aftercare. If this person does something you don't like, they'll listen to you without complaint. Even if this is a man, they are genuinely experienced and not weirdly misogynistic or abusive in any way. Boundaries are realllyy important to this person. They're just really good at creating a safe space.

4. Money, Money, Money by ABBA came up; this person will most definitely take care of you financially even if they are just a friend. I'm actually getting for some you, your get to get someone from a species that almost extinct: a man who treats you and is perfectly fine with just being friends NO S£X OR NUN in return🤯 this might make you attracted romantically to this person but I'm getting they could actually be married (they could be gay or queer in some way too) or they're just not interested in your romantically/sexually and just want to be besties. If you have anyyy health issues including paying medical bills they will help you out without a second thought. Some of you might unfortunately be in a situation where you get very hurt, like a car accident or sum, and this person is the first to visit you. They view as someone self-sufficient and extremely independent so they never get scared that you'll start to rely on them or leech off of them. Both of your goals and morals align especially if you have alternative politics (not conservative but extreme left, marxism, socialism, anarchism, etc.) and you'll be able to talk and debate without feeling like your friendship will fall apart. If this is someone that is romantically attracted to your gender, I really don't think they'll entertain the idea of dating you and even dating in general until much later in your friendship.

5. Right off the bat your most probably going tobget married if not, you'll be roommates for a very long time. This could honestly be a QPP for few of you, the rest I'll think you'll have a family with this person if you're interested. Even if you know for sure you don't want to get married, you will treat this person as if they are your spouse. You might've felt drained at the idea of a family or maybe yours and other ppl's was very chaotic to be in, but you'll genuinely feel like you can do it with this person without it being a risk for getting retraumatized. You might travel a lot with this person or live in a very nature filled area. I'm not getting much so I guess you don't really need to know more and I'm really getting this will be a surprise anyway, even at each stage of the relationship, you never expected to feel so emotionally secure with someone else constantly on your mind.

6. You might be connected to pile 4 or drawn to it. This is someone very new, as in you've never met anyone like them before. They either have a very unique appearance they put effort in or they really surpsie you with how deep they're personality and thoughts are. I'm getting for a lot of you, you might think this person is probably just annoying middle-aged person (😭) specifically man but then your talk and you're like woahh I was not expecting that. Their voice might not fit they're appearance either; they could have an extremely deep voice but be average height in whichever country they're from or their voices are quite animated even though their appearance might make them look gloomly or uninteresting (damn you guys are flaming this person during your first impression of them 😭😭) They point out a lot of things you don't notice or just know random facts that are helpful. They could even be a polyglot and travel a lot. However, this person is very stable in they're life, they feel ok at they're job or have a very specific idea of what they want to do with their career. If you end up working together, they are much more helpful than you anticipated. I'm getting for a lot you they aren't nice or super polite but they are very kind and generous. Like they don't smile much but ask them a question and you'll get a succinct answer. (Ughh this is my type 😩) They're very real and I love people like this cause they are genuine in wanting to help you and you don't have to constantly decipher they're words especially in a corporate context. There will definitely be an age gap and possible height gap. They could be almost 10 yrs older than you but you somehow have a lot in common although they are definitely not immature. I don't think they dated a lot or they had one really long relationship that they got out of when they met you.

[monstersandgirls-webcomic]

Have Lili and Sera seen each other without any clothing? Not by surprise like Lili did with Powers, but consciously aware and consenting?

I'm not asking this question to be perverted. I'm genuinely curious since even after their marriage, my understanding is that Sera remains a virgin while sex is Lili's job. I know Sera struggles with physical intimacy, so I probably answered my own question: No, she can't handle the sight of her wife without any clothing.

If you don't want to answer, I can respect that. How common is divorce in Heaven or Hell?

They haven't. originally Lili was going to be completely naked in the creampie comic but censoring her was a pain, so i went with lingerie. I ended up deciding that if i wanted them to see each other naked i'd save it for a future comic where they really discuss it, because it would also involve confronting Sera's struggles with being intimate and Lili trying to ask for more things from her wife instead of constantly compromising for her.

Also divorce in Heaven is unheard of, if you're ever married its eternal. No angel has ever had a divorce (closest is like. killing their spouse lol). In Hell, divorce also isn't common. not because of some idealogical thing but because marriage isnt that common in general. demons dont believe in loyalty or eternal love, so most of them do not get married or stay monogamous. its really something more common with fallen angels and higher ranked demons. like asmodeus and lilith are married.

[deathdetermineslife]

this will be a long winded yap session however I want to answer something in regards to the poll you made.

i personally don't think nonsharers are "doing too much" or "being obnoxious", actually, I think they're the only real part of the ficto community. sharers don't see their f/o as their real partner. this is a fact. you do not love them like we do. and honestly it's just a shame so many nonsharers get hate because!!! we!!! actually love our partners!!!

you wouldn't want to share your real partner, would you? no, probably not, therefore why would you be okay sharing a fictional one? you aren't ficto! and I'm honestly sick and tired of people selfshipping for a hobby because you do not belong in this community! you are not really and truly ficto. plain and simple.

nonsharers are the only valid form of selfshipping imo. I'm and sure if I sent this in off anon I'd be lynched, so, I won't. but this is the opinion of most nonsharers. we don't like you guys, you make us look stupid. okay send tweet bye have a good morning/night/evening.

hey anon so actually what the fuck

there's so much to unpack here. first of all, hating on an entire (valid, may I add) part of the community is crazy work. second of all, some people are polyamorous. do you know that? not everyone is monogamous. third of all, I don't exactly know if this was directed at me considering one, I am ficto (which ??? you don't have to be nonsharing to be ficto,,, let me get out the ficto handbook and check here—), and two, I am a sharer, which doesn't make me any less ficto?

let's break this down; sharers make the ficto community (the "real" ficto community) look stupid how? because we share our partners? and this effects you... how? this is a genuine question. how does me wanting other people to love my husband (because lord knows he deserves it) making the ficto community look stupid? I myself am not poly, but would you go up to a polyamourus ficto and tell them they aren't really ficto because... they're fucking poly??? I'm trying to wrap my head around this.

there's actually so much happening in this I'm struggling to fucking understand. hobbyists are also selfshippers! they are selfshipping! what! you don't have to be exclusively ficto to selfship... also another thing we're forgetting, fictosexuality is a spectrum. I am exclusively ficto, but not everyone is??? and it's crazy to confidently say "sharers don't see their f/o as a real partner THIS IS A FACT" because it's not. he is my real partner. he's the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life. where are you getting this information anon.

why do so many in this community insist on being genuinely so hateful. no one is making this community look stupid other than you for being an absolutely terrible and mean person. we DO NOT put other people down on this account. you're right anon, people would be on your ass if you said this publicly, because this is flat out just mean. no better way to phrase that. you need to do some serious introspection if you think entire groups of people aren't valid for something that has no effect on your own selfshipping.

[zweiginator]

genuinely curious to what a throuple would be like with patrick and art

i think at first it's confusing and rocky because everyone is used to monogamous relationships, so having an extra person in there is tricky. and you're kind of the person that is always in a tug-of-war match between patrick and art in the beginning because they are too scared to admit that they want each other just as much as they want you.

and patrick, at first, was adamant about it being solely sexual. he is uncomfortable with romance and commitment as it is, and doing that with two people scares him.

but art is very romantic. a hopeless romantic who likes to buy you flowers and plan dates. he takes you to movies and packs lunch for picnics in the park. and both of you just kind of assume patrick doesn't want to go.

but he gets jealous. feels like he's being betrayed by his girlfriend, his best friend, and his boyfriend all at once and it causes a huge fight. he breaks up with you both for almost six months and you and art feel awful because it wasn't malicious at all--in fact, you really did miss him on those dates.

and patrick is surprised when its christmas time and you and art are still together. a real, monogamous couple. he bought you a gold necklace, and he wears one of his own around his neck with your initial.

but he misses you. misses his best friend. misses you all as a dynamic. cooking breakfast in the mornings and burning the eggs. you all laughing at him because you didn't think it was in the realm of possibility to even burn eggs.

going to ice cream shops and strategically choosing your flavors because you all wanted to try each other's but art refuses to get anything other than coffee and it's infuriating but patrick misses that.

he comes to your doorstep after he sees you and art in public one day. art had seen him, you hadn't. art didn't mention it to you, knowing the wound was still fresh.

and it was weird for art. he's so madly in love with you, but he wants his boy friend and boyfriend back. and he knows you still love him.

and you and art let him back in instantly. he's soaked from the rain but you hug him, hold onto him like you're on monkey bars. and art kisses his forehead.

patrick sees that art has moved in with you. the whole house has art's tennis trophies, photos you and him took while traveling. but in the middle of the hallway, right before the bedroom door, there's a picture of the three of you, patrick in the middle.

the second time around, there's a beautiful equilibrium between the three of you. art and patrick finally let go. finally allow themselves to be fully present and admit that their love for each other extends beyond their platonic friendship, beyond their love for tennis.

[lurkingshan]

(character game) Boston from Only Friends

You're so kind to send him my way, anon.

How I feel about this character

I love him a lot. I like that he knows himself, and he's so honest even when that means saying things people don't want to hear. I like that he's a slut and he just wants to do what he likes with no commitment and he doesn't get why other people are so goddamn pressed about that. I like that he has a moral code that makes sense to him, and doesn't feel the need to force himself to live by anyone else's code. I like that he's bitchy in a very fun way. I like that he recognizes when people are not his true friends and thus feels no loyalty to them. I like that he also recognizes when someone does genuinely care about him and is willing to try something different to meet their needs. I love him for real and if I could I would rescue him from his show.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Anyone who knew me while Only Friends was airing knows I was suuuuuch a Boston/Nick girlie. They were THE ship for me in OF.

That said, I very much support Boston in his non-monogamous endeavors, so I also support him fucking anyone else he likes, or even doesn't really like but just wants to take for a spin.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Boston X NYC. I am happy for him that he's leaving his horrible "friends" behind to start over somewhere new where his particular brand of snark and bitchiness and sluttery will be deeply appreciated.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think my opinions of him are quite popular in the tumblr community, though the wider show fandom and the show writers themselves are a different story. I stand firm that he didn't deserve the ending he got and the story punishing him was wrong wrong wrong.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

Changing his ending is probably the way I would use my one wish to the Thai BL genie. I would have loved to see he and Nick get their temporary time to enjoy being together as a couple and honor that this relationship was meaningful to them before they parted on good terms when Boston left for NYC. It's the ending they deserved.

Give me a character ask game

[midnight-scugs]

Okay I'm not usually one to be rude but genuinely, I am BEGGING this fucking fandom to stop using entirely or primarily he/him for Seven Red Suns.

It's always he/him! Literally at least a quarter of this fandom seems to he/him them and masculinize them constantly. What gets me here is that it's never like, they/he/she and nonbinary, or they/them + neopronouns and agender, or something like that where you're just adding onto stuff while still respecting their canon gender and pronouns, gender and pronoun headcanons that aren't just the canonical nonbinary they/them are like, ALWAYS he/him or he/they and masc aligned. When people do that CONSTANTLY it's not just something you can ignore either. Because people are just constantly misgendering them.

This isn't even mentioning how despite having no canon genders, Chasing Wind/Grey Wind and Unparalleled Innocence are pretty often just stuck with binary genders... especially the latter who's most commonly just "she/her girl" to people. Now mind you there's nothing really wrong with this since they don't have established genders, but idk, like, man is it tiring to see that a lot of this fandom is just... either weird about nonbinary gender or just not really varied in common interpretations, between this and especially people just straight up misgendering Suns.

Genuinely I can't stand the "Suns being written as a he/him using boy" thing though. I'm so tired of nonbinary characters being forced into a binary box to be made more palatable or for shipping. Yeah that's right, I'm saying it; a lot of Suns being masculinized comes from the fact that their two most common monogamous ships and most common polyship are with guys and people are weird about MLM or MLM presenting ships. Not everything has to be yaoi guys I am begging you, a ship can be just as fun when one party is nonbinary. Literally begging. It doesn't need to be all masc aligned characters to be good. Please just be normal.

[euniexenoblade]

I'm terribly sorry for the anon ask. This is going to be long, and rambling, and probably quite rude to send to someone. Feel free to just trash this. I needed to scream and cry somewhere because I don't know what to do.

I saw your post about polyam people in monogamous relationships and it broke me. I'm a trans girl dating another trans girl 1 year older than me. She's the only reason I'm still alive. I was highly suicidal and depressed and miserable because I was forced to be closeted even though I knew who I was.

The whole act made me miserable. I felt like such a wretched thing, both for the idea of being trans girl and dysphoria as a whole. I felt unlovable, because no-one ever really loved me for who I was. I thought I was equivalent to some sort of drifting piece of disgusting flotsam, waiting to sink and drown forever. Improve the world by my disappearance.

She was the first person to love me, genuinely. To hold me close and tell me I was worth it. Worth loving, worth caring for. Eventually I began to believe it too. She dragged me out of my cocoon and made me love life and love her.

She's the single thing I love most in this world, but I'm also polyam, and have recently begun to love other people romantically as well. Originally, when I got into a relationship with her, she told me she was polyam too, but later corrected herself as exclusively and highly strictly monogamous.

And I feel trapped in here. She mostly only talks to me now to play out sexual scenarios where I'm the Dom, phone sex, ERP, things of that sort. I've talked to her about it and she just breaks down so I've stopped trying to talk about the subject.

I've also done my best to keep myself the perfect model monogamous person for her. But it hurts. It hurts to love so deeply and not be able to do anything about it. I feel broken, like I'm making excuses for wanting to cheat on my supposed one true love or something.

I know this isn't healthy, but I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I break up with her, she'll break down so hard and spiral so far down she won't be able to come back up, and that I'll go back to that miserable flotsam state without someone around me (Which I know is yet another fault about me. Something I should be able to endure that I can't).

I guess I'm here to ask if you have any advice. Sorry for sending this again. Thanks for reading.

If she breaks down when you break up, that is not your fault. I know that doesn't make it feel any better, but it is not you're fault. No one is guaranteed you, they must earn you.

I'm sorry this is happening. That's so fucked. It must really, really, really eating away at you. My first thought is you need to get her to talk. No shutting down. She presented herself as poly when you first hooked up, and yeah she's allowed to rescind that but it completely changed what you were lead the relationship would be. You need to drop the things you said to me to her, she needs to understand this. And, where it goes is important.

Usually I'd just say "break up," but this person is so very important to you and you love her so much. So I think there needs to be discussion and understanding. But, ultimately, if you want to be poly and she isn't supportive of that, then you gotta break up.

I hope that your coming days are full of love and joy.

[thefreelanceangel]

OC Smash Or Pass: Esti Kyton

Quick Facts:

Height: 5' 7"

Age: 28

Gender: Cis Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Kinsey Scale: 2 (Predominantly heterosexual but more than incidentally homosexual) [i.e. bisexual but male-leaning]

Pros:

She's VERY driven for financial success and stability, so she'll work her tail off to ensure that you're comfortable, even if you don't work.

'Devoted' doesn't quite begin to touch just how much of herself she'll pour out for you.

With years of aerial acrobatics as a background and the inherited double-jointed flexibility she has...

She's intellectually curious and willing to learn about basically anything, especially if her partner is interested.

Cons:

Rigidly, strictly monogamous. She tried polyamory and it did... bad things to her mental health. She's just not built for it.

She has a large family. She doesn't want her large family and goes out of her way to avoid them except for duty visits.

Her mother. You'll find out soon enough.

She'd still working past the abusive relationship(s) she's gone through, so she is... extremely emotionally fragile. You'll have to be VERY careful.

Additional Information:

Do you like coffee? Lucky for you, she is devoted to coffee and loves to make it. She's also a professional barista and extremely good at it.

She also has that 'must feed people' quirk that makes a success of so many small restaurants. You WILL be fed. Regularly.

Esti struggles with voicing her own wants and with upholding her own boundaries; she may occasionally blurt something out when the pressure becomes too much and then apologize for it.

She doesn't know how to fight. At all. Combat training never crossed her path and she didn't receive the training that all the other Kyho kits did.

Yes, she's a Kyho. Yes, it's very complicated. No, she doesn't claim the surname anymore. (And she'd be happy to change the name she has now, considering 'Kyton' is a combination of 'Kyho' and 'Bolton,' her ex Zale's surname before he married C'allie & Lulu.)

No seriously, she is not poly. At all. She tried and became a neurotic wreck. She'd have to be your one and only.

Sexually: She's a sub. She's such a sub. Everything she does is aimed at pleasing her partner, even if it means strangling back her own wants. She's slowly learning how to voice her own desires, and when she feels safe doing so... she is voracious.

Romantically: She genuinely and truly believes herself to be unlovable. And so she'll never... truly... quite believe you when you say you love her. She won't tell you as much, but she'll always be waiting for you to leave.

Tagged By: @iron-sparrow (<3!)

Tagging: @luck-and-larceny; @dumb-hat; @mirugaidoesthings; @rylen-ashworth; @archaiclumina; @jigschosai; @gatheredfates; @riftdancing; @chainsofaether

Rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

[chobani-flip]

🤷‍♀️ wtf is wrong with people

i genuinely do not get what people get so up in arms about regarding love interests for buck, his sexuality and how permanent buck and tommy are or should be

there are so many ways to be queer and all of them are valid (yes, even if you're an asshole to others while living your own brand of queer, you're still queer, you're just also an asshole) <- this should not be new information but it sure seems like it might be for some people the way they behave

whether buck and tommy are monogamous or poly (tho i wouldn't really expect a canon poly relationship on a show that is so very uncomfortable even with casual sex), casual or exclusive, here for a long haul or break up in s8ep01, kinky or vanilla, doing DP or never touching each others' arseholes at all. what the FUCK does it matter?

there are so many ways to be queer, stop putting moral values on each and every one of them like you're trying to win some kind of One True Queer to rule them all contest with representation in media.

i'll be honest: it makes you look immature and pathetic.

and like, if you find yourself getting violently angry because a relationship is depicted on-screen that you dislike, or in a way you dislike? if you find yourself sending incensed asks/tweets/comments about this? maybe reconsider. maybe see if you want to be hugh laurie in this sketch. (cause that's what so many of you sound like) and please know that you can always change your mind and decide to stop being an asshole.

also: fanfiction is a thing that exists. if you don't fancy whatever is happening in canon, you can simply ignore it and write/imagine your own spin on it in fic. ... like, most of us are united in our loathing for the buckley parents and the belief that they have not done near enough reparations to be allowed unfettered access to their children's lives while the show seems to believe the opposite. all of us are free to act accordingly and we do.

but also be aware that if in the process of your headcanoning, you're vile about the very real identities and practices of real people, there will be consequences for that. like there are for any and all free speech. and you can always have a second think, say "im sorry that was a kneejerk reaction i did not think that through" and change your behavior after.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

you know what's the funniest thing in all of this.. i bet a good majority of people being weird about ofmd. the ROMCOM. centering queer romance. were absolutely frothing at the mouth imagining their special man in a romantic plotline with a variety of characters

exactly this exactly this. if Izzy had ended up in a monogamous relationship with some Flint Blacksails lookin motherfucker they would have nothing to say at all but now that Izzy is dead it's all "cisgender monogamous gay ship played by reassuringly straight actors" (this one is pretty much word for word won't link because I'm vague posting) and "look at how David Jenkins talks in interviews about queer romance being important when he killed the one character whose arc was very much queer and very much not romantic." (citation needed on Izzy being the one character with a queer non romantic arc but I guess Wee John continues to be chopped liver to these people) (this one is also basically word for word) and "How dare you kill a queer disabled suicidal elderly abuse victim trans neurodivergent black woman" (Black woman was added for dramatic effect but I've seen the rest of those applied to Izzy in how dare you kill him posts they'll call him elderly when he's middle aged, they'll call him an abuse victim when he's not, they'll call him suicidal when that's tenuous at best, I have also genuinely seen trans and nd which, ok...)

and it's just pleaaaaaaaase just say you're mad Izzy died I'm begging you. You can even say the show is bad I don't care, but it's just, the tantrum is too much. It's too much. I can comfort my irl Izzy liker friends and it is easy because they are saying shit like "I am sad that he died" and not "this is ableism."

[septiccoffeefreak]

Already blocked them but Jesus Christ. This is the same shit y'all say to Demisexual folks as well. Maybe you can't wrap your head around it, but how's about you don't go around telling other people how to label themselves and claiming they're wrong; Ever, in the first place.

Let's say someone has their first crush when they're 7 and they never have a crush ever again in their whole lives. That person is uniromantic, they are NOT just "monogamous". They could never see that person ever again in their life past middle school and still never like anyone else. And they're still going to be alienated from alloromantic experiences.

Also to be frank, monogamous people still experience attraction to others, it's just mild and they choose not to act on it. It is not the same fucking thing as not experiencing the attraction at ALL. If you really think action and emotions are the same damn thing then next you're going to tell me having a mild crush on a cartoon character is cheating. But, and correct me if I'm wrong here, I can't help but have the feeling that's not even the issue here, you just don't like that asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum, and feel the need to tear down people who use microlabels because it makes being LGBT "too confusing" for the homophobes. I have a strong suspicion you're chugging that respectability politics kool-aid, and would be just as shitty to any queer person who isn't one of the mainstream "acceptable" boxes you've decided are okay.

Just because I lucked out and Tommy loves me doesn't erase my identity. If Tommy didn't love me, or god forbid if he died tommorow, I still wouldn't like someone else. Because I literally had never felt any form of attraction in my life before him, ever, and I haven't since, and won't since. It's not about monogamy this is just LITERALLY how it works for me, and for several others.

Tommy is allo. He experiences ATTRACTION to lots of people and characters, not just me. But he's chosen me as the one he likes the best, and decided to be loyal to me in a monogamous way. The way he described it to me is that there's fast food restaurants (other people) everywhere that are somewhat appetizing, but he doesn't feel the need to eat there even if the food there looks good or makes him hungry, because he knows he has a full course home cooked meal (me) at home, and that's way better.

Working with this metaphor, MY experience is as if Tommy is the only food source in the entire world, and there are no other restaurants or kitchens ever, at all, on the whole planet. It's completely barren of food otherwise.

And to be honest, I don't see how anyone, thinking it through, would overlook these discrepancies. I don't see how anyone could genuinely fail to see that a lack of attraction to anyone at all and a sense of loyalty are two different things; Which is why I blocked Anon here. But just so my argument is clear and out there; that's why it's not the same thing. Now please, stop policing people, because no matter how "politely" you word it, going all "um actually" on someone's own personal identity and telling them it's not real is ALWAYS going to be an asshole move.