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tiredflowercrown · 1 year ago

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Should I? I don't know if I did the right thing

#i keep getting reminded #we weren't close #but did i hurt them?#do they wonder?#i didnt wanna hurt them #that wasnt my intention #please i didnt wanna hutt anyone

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akanemnon · 3 months ago

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I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

#undertale #deltarune #crossover #utdr #crossover comic #twin runes comic #twin runes au #my art #art #susie deltarune #chara #this will ignite the “chara did nothing wrong” vs “chara is a murder hobo” debate I just know it #fact is they gave up everything for their plan to succeed and asriel blew it #HOWEVER they were also forced to watch asriel die and they could do nothing about it #so what does a dead child do for who knows how many years all alone with no one else to talk to?#they rethink everthying that went wrong #guilt is a weird thing that lingers and festers in your mind #no matter how much you're actually at fault #I mean come on... they were an abused kid #all they wanted was to not hurt anymore and return the love they were given no matter the cost #but now they are CONVINCED it was their plan that kickstarted this whole mess #and it's eating at them #you can see it because they actually used contractions for once #i love subtle stuff like that #also hey #susie's feeling remorse for her whole “chara offed asriel” comment #the two are more alike than she thought and now she feels bad #out of all people she should know what it's like to be falsely accused

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theodysseyofhomer · 4 months ago

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spare thought for the enslaved shepherds in greek mythology/tragedy who rescue the exposed doom babies... sometimes they know why the baby was left to die, sometimes they don't. they just — it's a baby. no one else wants it. you can't leave it here. what harm could it do. it's a baby. you want it to live. it's a baby

#spent a little too much time with my baby nieces this week perhaps. idk #i was thinking about agelaos but also the shepherd who jocasta gave baby oedipus to #who did know the parent-killing prophecy! and passed the baby onto another shepherd! and both of them recognize him as a grown man and #ahhh. everyone is so cruel to them but for a moment they're just happy to see him #hurts me. hurts my feelings.#anna.txt #slavery tw /#agelaos #paris #phorbas #oedipus

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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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kyoukorpse · 27 days ago

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ohhh so ur scrimbly??

#my art #cotl #cult of the lamb #jakub #chirin au #cotl goat #cult of the lamb goat #i literally did not know how to caption this i just wanted to draw them so littleeee #i told my friends that jakub is gumpy bc they had a successful crusade #he likes to get hurt a lot and die lol

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wishfulsketching · 5 months ago

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More

#my art #sketchy sketch #gotham #nygmobblepot #oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #jerome jumpscared us with a love rival ao3 hurt/no comfort episode and then left #why did they go through all the hoops to make sure ed and oz didn't become too gay I will never know #I do know #but still #I will ignore most of it and act like knew what he had and did not let it go #“please we're brothers” YEA OKAY UHH OKAY #anyway....its so late I should not write tags #I feel insane for drawing them so much but it's my hyperfixation ok!!??

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housederiva · 8 days ago

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Woe my rookanis be upon ye

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ashleys-doodle-corner · 2 months ago

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Act 3 (But why did they look so...?)

We finally got to the comic that actually made me think about this AU in the first place. After I was mulling around the idea of Loop looking like Siffrin the whole time, I realised that the conversation of "who or what do you think I am?" doesn't apply anymore. But you know what would?

The question of why Loop is even here in the first place. Because while it's nice to have another you around to help you out of the loops, isn't it weird that they're even here? Who sent them?

... and what was with their response?

#In Stars and Time #ISAT #ISAT Spoilers #ISAT Siffrin #ISAT Loop #ISAT AU #two coins same side au #comic #illustration #digital art #artists on tumblr #fan art #the creativity process #TCSS AU #id in alt #cw eye contact #tw eye contact #if it was actually in-game i'd imagine siffrin gets the One chance to answer and thats it #but i wanted to show some of the few options siffrin could potentially say without showing ALL of them #basically the choices still follow beat for beat as the who/ what am i convo (except for the ghost answer which wouldn't be there)#though loop's answers are different (please ask me about em its too long to put in the tags)#but yeah. loop would Not take the correct answer well because. yknow #they did Technically make that wish huh. and i guess in that sense they Did want to help siffrin #but that doesn't take the hurt of thousands of loops away now does it?#especially when you're helping a copy of yourself escape. loop canonically does not take it well after all.#EDIT: accidentally bungled the pronouns for the change god!! it's been fixed now!!

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hinamie · 7 months ago

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summer is coming so i'm giving them the beach day they deserve

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #itadori yuuji #fushiguro megumi #kugisaki nobara #gojo satoru #nanami kento #fanart #jjk fanart #yuuji #megumi #nobara #gojo #nanami #the drinks r non alcoholic do not worry #and one of them Is megumi's however yuuji Will b taking a generous sip #do not talk 2 me about perspective i am trying my hardest man water is so hard.............#i omitted yuuji's scars and nanami nobara n gojo r . u kno. Here .#so this is probably set pre-shibuya but idc enough to figure out a timeline #megumi voice Whatever!!! i just want them 2 have fun on the beach :(#i want gojo to hurl them in2 the water i want nobara 2 play fetch w the dogs i want them to shake themselves off all over nanamis stuff :((#so glad my hyperfixation media is so lighthearted . so glad it doesnt hurt every time i think abt them . so glad this is canon actually.#gotta do everything myself in this household smh #sighs . we cope !#drawing this made me think back to an old fb zine piece i did where they were Also on a beach #n that piece took MONTHS n this took 2 days so thats a bit of growth there babey #anyway all that 2 say i am drained but i am victorious

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heartorbit · 5 months ago

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i just wanted to draw the ave mujica outfits .

#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #proseka #tsukasa tenma #nene kusanagi #nenekasa #<- i like them.#sorry i like mygo + avemuji but cant make fanart of anything im not Fucking Crazy about normally #had to touch it up digitally because i tried coloring a Pen Drawing in with Watercolor. in earnest.#Everything think the announcements gonna be a new unit. I think that would be hilarious and the worst possible timing #Given where everyone else's arcs are but the miku design looked cute so if its jsut a new game that would cheese me #My tag blabbering... what else ... im artfight slacking. my wrist hurts. course selection is next week. SCREAMS #please pray to God i do not have any 8am classes. PLEASE. my college commute takes over an hour. If i have to wake up at 6am i will k #Oh my God i have to go to the dentist tomorrow too please fucking helpme THEYRE GONAN FIDN AMILLION CAVITIES AND KILL ME. AAAAAHG.#Every time theres another proseka broadcast announced i get scared cause i have so many song covers i want in the game but.#I want to draw them first. So that if they Do get added to the game i cna go HEH... >:)....#Thats whyi did skeleton orchestra emnn and scissorhands rks. I want scissorhands in the game reallybad i love that song #3DMV EVEN PLEEEASE but also nothing can too miumes choreography from like a decade ago i wanna do a cosplay performanc eof it someday...#i ❤️ waacking.#actually the one i Really want to draw is ALSO nenekasa. record red save me. ILL DRAW IT OK

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abyssal-ilk · 2 months ago

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since i'm talking about bull today, i think its a bit of a mistep to say bull turning against the inquisitor in trespasser is an act of revenge for the death of the chargers. this isn't a result of the inquisitor betraying bull or hurting him. it is a result of the inquisitor reaffirming iron bull's place within the qun. it isn't something that the inquisitor "deserves" for killing a group of beloved soldiers. it is simply the consequence of choosing a political allegiance- the qun- and enforcing the idea that a small part can and should be sacraficed for the greater whole. the chargers can be sacrificed for the inquisiton, the inquisitor (and dorian, and vivienne, and sera, and anyone else bull befriended) can be sacrificed for the qun.

#dai #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #iron bull #the iron bull #bull is not angry at the inquisitor for the death of his men. he does not blame them. if anything he blames himself.#idk im yapping #can you tell bull rots my brain #i cant talk about the qun without tearing my hair out though. my twin is the qun enjoyer im the qun critiquer #but yeah. its not an act of revenge. cole even says that there is “no hurt” during trespasser tied to bull and the chargers #and none of bull's dialogue hints at kt #edit: it*#HOWEVER. however. that doesnt mean i like it.#also as much as i absolutely despite solas' and bull's banter it hints that bull made the choice to safe/sacrafice the chargers which is.#wrong. the inquisitor did.#idk why im mentioning that its just weird #edit: despise* lordd i type too quick

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lazylittledragon · 5 months ago

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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

#ramble #sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well #if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD #he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE #like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one #holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do #and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that #idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything #also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore #so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks #also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently #also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this #again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable #if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time

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intotheelliwoods · 5 months ago

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FUSION FIGHT FUSION FIGHT! <- <-

@dianagj-art The fusions are fighting!!! Because hey funny story, their first meeting does not go to well 😌It was SUPPOSED to be a friendly spar.. more details in my tags vvv

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bluerosefox · 6 months ago

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"Daddy! Mommy's is having Ellie!"

Everyone in the Batfam knows Jason keeps secrets.

Secrets he'd take to his grave a second time if he had to.

But to think one of those secrets would be about the fact he had a secret family.

And the only reason the Batfam found out was because apparently their secret (grand)daughter/sister-in-law Jazz/Jasmine was in labor and their (great)grandson/nephews Danny (Daniel) and Dan (Dante) called him while on a Red Hood job with the rest of the Batfam to panicky tell him their baby sister Ellie was on the way early.

Red Hood books it away from the fam to his bike while asking to put Kori or Roy on the phone.

Oh boy.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #crossover #dp x dc #blue rambles #danny phantom dc #writing ideas #random idea #dpxdc #anger management #jazz x jason #been a while since I wrote out an anger management prompt lol #deaged or reborn in DcVerse Danny and Dan?#reborn Ellie though #she destabilized to much and need to be actually born #Jasmine fled her home universe after some bad stuff happened while she was in college #Her parents. Good Fentons btw. Had to save Danny. Dan. and Ellie from the GIW #but they got hurt really bad #to the point they were all in their cores #they had to send Jazz away on the Spector Speeder into the portal with the cores she they could grow in ectoplasm and heal #or until she could get them to Frostbite #Jack and Maddie made sure to blow up the lab after they sent the kids into though.#the GIW was on their tail and the Fentons made sure to destroy everything about their portal work and most of the GIW #Jazz was heading to Frostbite but got knocked off course and landed in a natural portal that spat her out in Red Hoods territory #Because Jazz is liminal she can store her sibs cores inside her and does so. she eventually meets Red Hood/Jason #and can tell hes died/liminal like her #either just by being near him or actually getting together she gets 'pregnant' with twins Danny and Dan #or they just form as babies either one works #but Ellie did have to be 'made' though by then Jazz and Jason were already together

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inkclover · 5 days ago

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i think i have covid-

#great god grove #click clack #thespius green #lovestory #ggglovestory #ggg #hi hello i think im coming down with something...#and that's BRAIN ROT #hohhhhh man oh man am i unwell.... i love these two so much it hurts-#did some sketches to get a feel of doodling them!#they are so silly...#inky draws #inky doods

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r3nblade · 14 days ago

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#honkai star rail #fanart #hsr #dan heng #jing yuan #jingheng #hengjing #general how did u not explode with him #i cant belive how silly n dramatic they acted during their first meeting on the luofu like walking pass by eyes closed you two are dumb #oh i hate them #im not him he says #and he proceeds to protect n hold him and barely let go when he got hurt #DAN HENG YOURE EMBARRASSING STAND UP #anyways general in deep thought

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