#but at what cost i guess
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hi this is a rant tw transphobia and shitty parents
#I just did a scary thing#like. the scariest thing#the thing ive avoided and lied about and refused to do for three years now#I actually told my parents (well my mom) that im queer. specifically about the trans part#and i told her that I want to start hormones#and i asked if i dtart them can i still come home#because i have lots of younger siblings and they're still little and i love them so so much i practically raised them#and my parents want to keep anything queer away from them so im scared that they wont let me come see my sisters if i start hrt#but my mental health and dysphoria are getting so bad and i cant handle it anymore#theres a place nearby that does labs for free and i really want to do it#but im so scared#so fucking terrified and im sobbing rn and i justs#i want a family. i want a mom#but at what cost i guess#ive been thinking for years *years* about whether or not my parents would come to my wedding#or if they'd let my siblings come#and now its also will i even be able to have them in my life#its so much#but i texted her and told her everything and said someday i will start hrt and i want to know if i can come home still#obviously with more detail but yk#and. i can breathe a little now but it is between sobs so. wins and losses i guess#i just wish i didnt have to deal with this shit
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shadowpeach this, mk's ever growing trauma that, and 9 headed this- can we talk about the true important thing about lmk season 5, of how the Teal Dragon of the East and the White Tiger of the West where just husbands, cuddling together in their final moments?
The pressing foreheads together as they fade away and give the gang their crystals?
Not normal about them EDIT: Editing this to add and share the most important tags from a reblog on this post, so far, bc the reblog doesn't actually appear in the notes of the post-
what if i just cried? cried and sobbed and wailed and threw up?
#cant believe me making a lmk oc predicted the white tiger being gay#but at what COST?!!?!#SOBS#CANT HAVE SHIT IN THIS HOUSE#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk season 5#lmk season five#monkie kid#xifang baihu#doomed yaoi#i guess
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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*Different Beast motif plays*
Odysseus: *raises trident*
Odysseus, in the danger voice™: You're going to be my b*tch now, Poseidon.
Poseidon:
Poseidon: ... Alright, please...!
... 600 Strike in a nutshell, right?
#Is that not what happened?#I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS Y'ALL#actually no I'm not sorry#Steven you didn't have to sound like that#simpseidon#<that's my tag for anything one-sided Poseidon x Odysseus#Bc that's the only way I like this ship#The fact that i could technically animate this scares me#Maybe i should#poseidon x odysseus#I guess I should tag it or sth#I still don't like the requited version of this ship but WHATEVER#All of you who do can enjoy this :)#epic the musical#epic odysseus#epic poseidon#Even as someone who doesn't ship them properly i must say Poseidon IS his b*tch now#There's no way he isn't#At least that means calm and favorable seas for the rest of his life?#At the cost of one simpy god trying to still act like he hates him#Small cost?? Maybe???
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Icarus but not at all, you know what i'm saying? Does that make any sense? Do you see him? Take my hand, we're watching him fall.
Also a bonus little alternate that I drew first but wasn't satisfied with the emotional choices at ALL. and an alt color of that lol cause you know i'm gonna abuse the hell outta that green color as much as possible lol
#drawing kenny having a bad time again~~#happy ending for everyone at all cost but what was the cost i guess??? lmao#sorry kenzaki.... I'll draw something nicer next time aldfkjae my head is in my hands...#kamen rider#kamen rider blade#kenzaki kazuma#fan art#kamen rider blade spoilers#blade spoilers#kenzaki's a winner but such a loser(depressing) that's what i wanted to get across i think#you tried too hard bud :(#There are a few shots in the finale that i noticed this time and thought “kenzaki... did you go for a little swim bud!? dude no!!”#things you dont notice the first time when you're busy banging your head through your computer screen.#whatever the original intention... SADDDDDDD#lost a few screws on this one lafkjalekj#but I learned to draw a lens flare for this so there's that lol!
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yeah i am NEVER calling him that.
#INVESTIGATIONS PORT BUT AT WHAT COST#i'm a firm believer that they should've just paid the fan localizers for the rights to use their names#bc wtf is this#did they sit in a room and brainstorm the ugliest name possible#THE PUN ISNT EVEN GOOD#eustace winner#BECAUSE APPARENTLY NOW I HAVE TO TAG HIM WITH THAT I GUESS#sebastian debeste#aai2#ace attorney#aa investigations#aai#ace attorney investigations
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Part 1
There is a universe, somehow, where everything aligned just perfectly and left four desperate children on Silco's doorstep. A universe where Piltover is just a bit more ruthless: where Vander's connections aren't trustworthy and where his foolish sentimentality wins.
Vander's arrested, in Vi's place. He's so proud of her for trying to do the right thing - but he'll not make a sacrifice out of Felicia's daughter. The violence in the streets has to stop and Piltover won't stop until it has someone to blame for the theft. So the Hound becomes a sacrificial lamb.
But remember, his agreements are flimsier, and the trust between enforcer and undercity is as thin as the razor blade Mylo keeps in his pocket. The gold-trimmed enforcers aren't happy with a Hound dressed in wool - they want the girl. The one Jayce identified. Some pink-haired snot-nosed filthy brat. The thief. The terrorist.
They labeled her a terrorist: Vi. For a near-harmless explosion in a district she would've been beaten in, just for the grime in her hair.
And the Hound won't have that.
For the second time in his life, Vander's knuckles are stained with enforcer blood and the undercity begins to burn. Vi's next to him, eager to fight, but scared. She's just a kid after all. Always eager. Always scared.
Claggor, Mylo, and Powder come running as they limp back to the Last Drop. Powder's too busy crying into Vi's shirt to pay much attention to the screams outside. Reinforcements are just a few minutes away. The rats of the undercity retreat to spare themselves from the brutality beneath an enforcer's heel and the streets grow quieter and quieter. They all know how to slip away when the time demands it, but this is more than sneaking through the sewers and waiting for the storm to pass.
The enforcers, the council, Piltover: they'll keep coming. The blood on Vander and Vi's hands ensures that much. And they don't want him -
He looks to where Vi is hugging Powder back, a: "Sorry Powpow," being breathed. "Didn't mean to scare you -"
He can't let that happen. He can make himself the bigger problem - the biggest threat and that will buy the kids time and give those rich bastards a victory.
But then... it'll just be them.
Claggor's strong, Mylo's sly, Powder's clever, and Vi is brave. They're all tough as nails and they'll make it. At least until this underbelly starts ripping itself around. Vander's a smart man who knows what will happen in his absence, the cannibalistic tendencies of desperate people who need scapegoats.
And Vi's already willing to play the martyr. She proved that much. No, if he leaves he needs to leave them with something. Anything. Something that's as willing to fight for their future as...
That's when he gets the terrible idea. Right around the same time he hears the tell-tale racket of enforcers running down cobblestone. He grabs a bar napkin, and Claggor bars the door. He fumbles messily around for a piece of graphite or a damned pen.
Vi pushes Powder behind her and grabs a half-empty bottle from a table. There's a shatter as she arms herself with razor glass. These kids are well versed at making weapons, they have to be.
They'll only get better at it if he finishes this note. He's signing their lives away to a different demon. There's no guarantee they'll live long enough to give him the note. It's a terrible idea -
"I'll never betray Zaun's children"
Powder's climbing behind the bar with him, clinging to his leg. Mylo climbs over the other side, fiddling with a collection of rusty steak knives. Claggor's grabbed a chair and broke it, two wooden beams in either hand.
Suffocating in the streets is better than dying on a bridge.
"Take this," he gives it to Vi before slipping on his knuckles. "Find Silco. Ask around, and he'll find you."
"What?" it's a challenge from her. She's ready to fight to keep what she has.
She doesn't realize that every fight comes with a loss. And eventually, it's going to take everything from her. Once you bloody those knuckles you never stop - not really.
But not today. Today it'll only take him, and hopefully, she'll remember what they talked about. She'll remember that despite this shitshow - he's proud of her for finding a peaceful solution. He's proud of her for putting down those fists.
But there was no way in hell he was going to let her go.
"Take care of each other," he orders slipping on his other gauntlet. Mylo and Powder stare at him with wide eyes. Claggor's lip is trembling.
"Remember. Remember, to look out for each other!" he orders.
"No!" Powder seems to understand now as Vander pulls the bracings away from the door. She scrambles over the bar with a muffled wail. Mylo stops her right as Vander throws the door open.
"Vander!" Vi screams, but the hound is loose.
He's in the streets and he's set about making these fools remember why they follow the light. Why they fear the undercity so badly they chase its children to sate their fury. Dark things live in the undercity. Zaun's children are raised in air so heavy it turns their lungs to iron. Her streets sharpen their teeth and build calluses over their knuckles until the only thing they feel is the warm crimson in their wake.
Vander had hoped he'd never do this - be this. But jaws shatter under his fist faster than glasses fill with his whiskey. He's good at this. Always has been. The kids slip away - he knows that much.
Everything else is a bit of a blur. He glimpses Ekko, once, on the rooftops. The boy heads after the other four and Vander is thankful for that. Benzo didn't survive the first wave... he doesn't have much chance to reflect on that because there's another enforcer in his grip and a new scream in the air.
He buys the kids plenty of time. Too much time.
Enough time for all of Zaun to hear the news: the Hound's fighting back! Five enforcers are dead! Six! Ten! Enough time for Vi and Mylo to find their informants.
Silco isn't exactly a subtle name. He's well hidden, that's true, but a familiar blond limped his way over to one of the abandoned warehouses after Vi kicked the shit out of him. Word on the street is that he's in with someone named Silco. Doesn't mean much to the informant or to Vi.
It's enough. They slip into one of Zaun's many industrial districts just as Vander finally falls.
Piltover's attack dogs got him - they would eventually, he knew that much. A wild hound is fierce but numbers always win. Part of him's happy to die on familiar cobblestones. Better than the cool stone of prison - better than anything Piltover had in mind for him. This way, the kids would know what happened to him. They wouldn't do anything stupid.
Well... they'd probably still do some stupid things. He coughed out a laugh, blood hacking out of his lungs as it all began to fade. Good. They deserved to be a bit stupid. They were kids...
Just kids.
Hopefully, Silco remembers that...
Silco? Oh, Silco remembers. He'd been making a plan revolving around that. Kids are foolish. Kids are loyal. Children are painfully easy to manipulate and kill. Children are easy to make disappear.
Killing Vander and his children was quite literally on his upcoming schedule. It was going to be a glorious sort of revenge, making Vander watch it happen - helpless to stop it as he drowned in his own pacifism. It was going to be inhumane. The final nail in Silco's old coffin.
So pardon him for taking a moment to stare at the victims delivered to his doorstep. Half of him wants to laugh. The other half feels like he's been shoved back into that damn river.
The children only stare back, wide-eyed and curious. Scared too... haunted in some wonderfully poetic way.
"Can I help you?" Silco demands cooly after his disbelief has been satiated.
The pink one steps forward, naturally. She's Vander's little favorite, his poster child: basically a replica. Taking charge is probably laced in her veins.
She hands him a napkin.
"He told us to come here," she breathes, and it almost sounds like a prayer.
Silco cannot focus on anything but the napkin.
"Well... not here," the wily boy in the back disagrees slowly as he gives a scathing glance to a dead mouse in the corner. "He told us to find you."
Silco watches them carefully and then unfolds the napkin. If this is a trap it's ridiculous and definitely not Vander's idea. Perhaps these children are simply suicidal - or stupid.
He reads it.
Pauses. Reads it again.
He glances to that pink one again: Violet. Felicia's daughter. The other one is to her right, clinging to the elder's bruised knuckles. Powder... right?
Mylo. And Claggor.
Vander's children.
Vander's children!
He reads it one more time.
"It is kind of messy," Claggor's sheepish tone contradicts his appearance sharply. "He was in a rush -"
"I can read it," Silco snarls. He whirls around and plunges further into the bowels of the warehouse.
The children follow, blindly. Because they were told to. They follow the devil into his den because Vander told them to.
Why Silco let them, he'll never be able to explain. Never. Why he didn't finish was Vander started: destroy all remnants of their old life, including those damned children - he'll never say.
He can't. Because Vander sent him his children and a note. It changes nothing.
Except it changes everything.
#Arcane#AU#Fanfiction#I guess#idk I may write more#Vander#Silco#Vi#Powder#Mylo#Claggor#If the stars aligned I do believe Silco would've raised those kids#Ya know how Vi just has to call Cait “cupcake”#Yeah#That but all Vander has to do is tell Silco “I trust you” and Silco's whole worldview falls apart#Yeah yeah the man I was died in that river#But did he? Are you sure??#Also this is 100% an excuse to write the eventual family reunion with Warwick#Which would theoretically be hilarious#After all the angst of#what happened to you?#Paired with the yummy: “I survived but at what cost" parallel between the two dads#Followed by Silco's: “YOU FUCKER - YOU LEFT ME WITH YOUR KIDS WHEN WE WERE MORTAL ENEMIES! I COULD'VE KILLED THEM!”#The kids be like this is our Dad#The drug lord Silco#and this is our other Dad#The warcrime Warwick#We love them very much <3#We gotta Part 2 and a Part 3 now for the AU :D
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a concept. to consider. what if. what if there was a Remember Them reprise after the Thunder Saga. "We are not to let them die in vain" except he's the only one left so it's "I am not to let them die in vain." and there's no backing chorus of his men. because. they're all dead.
and the line takes on a whole new meaning now that he's the one who chose to let them die.
(not in vain. it can't have been in vain, it can't have been for nothing. i have to see her. i have to see her, because if i don't make it home, those men died for nothing. the ends always justify the means. i can justify anything as long as it ends with Penelope and Telemachus both in my arms again. but if it doesn't-
but it will. it will. it has to.)
and our- ... -and my comrades will not die in vain...
#epic the musical#epic: the musical#epic: the thunder saga#epic the thunder saga#do i actually think this would happen? uhhh.....idk. probably not? maybe? but do i think this could be a neat concept if it did happen? YES#i love the idea of odysseus using the deaths of his men as further reason to get home because he thinks that will make it worth it.#“the end always justifies the means”#and at the first obstacle he faces it's like. oh. what if there is no end- NOPE. NOT THINKING ABOUT IT. I'M GOING HOME AT ANY COST.#because if it was all for nothing then the guilt would crush him!!! he has to believe he'll see penelope again!! she's all his power!!#and. and his comrades will not die in vain....#in other words: HA. Local Tragedy Protagonist Believes Attaining His Goals Will Absolve Him Of The Blood He Spilled To Attain Them.#who's gonna tell him that the man who gets to make it home alive is no longer him...... oh? he was already informed? oh okay i guess.
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I really wish Stella had more character to her. I don’t have anything against being evil for evil’s sake - but there is really nothing going for her character, which is a shame because I feel like she has the potential to be compelling. She’s not the only female character in the series that I wish were better written - I feel like that about most of the female characters that we see.
#helluva boss critical#i guess? i just don’t think the female characters are very well written/tend to be one-note#im not the biggest fan of the show either but ive been watching since the pilot so its somewhat sunken cost fallacy#that and i do actually like octavia she reminds me a lot of myself and i think her struggle in reconciling what stolas has done#is interesting and i wish we had more of her
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DEVASTATED... 😭😭😭😭
#i was so excited for their duo in mcc since their last one last year 😭😭😭 aw man#but ig that got Grian back in mcc 😔... at what cost....#smallidarity#i guess. just because of that gayass gif joel replied with
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Apple iPod Nano 3rd gen, 2007
instagram: cheri.png
#how is end of year for everyone? I hate it. I survived it but at what cost#I guess there are 2 more days left#we shall see#cybercore#old internet#old web#cyber y2k#00s#2000s#tech#y2k#moodboard#cyber core#iPod#iPod nano#Apple#old Apple#y2k nostalgia#nostalgiacore#nostalgia#y2k tech#y2k aesthetic#techcore#tech aesthetic#tech blog
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Me when the post-canon BOTW lore I made up in my head for literal years does not 100% align with what is shown in TOTK
#totk#tears of the kingdom#equally confused and conflicted about the Hateno house#I travelled all the way there for Zelink crumbs and I guess I got some??#But at what cost#Also that other spoilery thing I mentioned earlier lol#Idk... I knew this was gonna happen in one way or another and it always scared me#but at the end of the day canon is a suggestion tbh
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(from Gabi Belle's video "How Dropshipping Ruined Online Shopping")
YES OMG. I went to an anime convention a few months ago and saw SO many cheap bootlegs being sold as if they were authentic items. Being an experienced collector, I have a good eye for bootlegs so it didn't affect me, but I couldn't help but think of all the people who were duped into buying a crappy $30 bootleg that they could have gotten on Aliexpress for like $2.
#the most egregious case was this one person selling these beautiful light-up displays of fake bonsai trees with figures perched on them#they were going for well over $100 each#but when I actually looked at the figures it was obvious they were cheap bootlegs that probably cost the seller less than $10#the light up displays were probably from AliExpress or Temu as well#it just pissed me off because finding authentic figures for relatively cheap is very possible on sites like Yahoo Auctions Japan#but it's not as easy and cheap to use a proxy as it is to just order directly through a site like Temu#so guess what people choose to do instead#dropshipping#anti dropshipping#anime#figure collecting
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there's nothing orym would ask of the other hells that he wouldn't do himself, which is sort of the problem, really
#critical role#cr spoilers#orym of the air ashari#bells hells#if you don’t have a homegrown curse you can use to your advantage (moon powers) storebought is fine (deal with a hag)!#and its not even sunk cost fallacy or feeling like he needs to make the deal worth it i think. this is just what he feels is necessary#and its his own self worth and the value he places on his own life vs the importance of this cause. reflected back on the others#how the rest of the hells have adopted this mindset but with wavering conviction and doubt - not really fitting quite right#while it fits orym like a glove. bc that's who he is. it's what he's been taught. bc this conflict is his past and his present#and as far as he's considered it. his future!#me this morning: i will not get back into orymposting. orymposting is the mind killer.#me now:#eta: i guess this could be disputed by him saying fearne would have to be the one to take imogen out pre-solstice.#but i've always seen that as a purely practical 'who would actually be capable of doing this' issue as opposed to sentimentality.#he was fully ready to cut dorian in exu. however he may feel about the act his resolve is not an issue!
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Writing out my preferred way the battle at Rook's Rest should have gone because why not.
The beginning mostly stays the same. Criston signals for Aemond and Vhagar, but Sunfyre arrives first. Aemond sees him fly overhead and is pissed, but he doesn't wait to follow him into battle because he's not an idiot and as much as he wants the crown, he's aware of the intensity of the blow losing Aegon would be to their cause.
Still, Vhagar is slow and has to launch herself off the ground, so Aegon gets their first and has an initial fight with Meleys but Vhagar's quick arrival keeps Sunfyre's injuries from being quite so intense. The two of them attack Meleys side by side, but due to her speed and Rhaenys's expertise, she manages to keep evading them with fairly light damage.
Meleys takes off high into the clouds and Aemond and Aegon follow her. No one can see them from below. Aegon urges Sunfyre to engage directly with Meleys and the two dragons become locked together. Instead of intervening this time, Aemond simply watches as Sunfyre is injured and Aegon cries out for his help. Aemond only watches.
We can see the anger in his eyes. It would be so easy to allow Meleys to kill Aegon and Sunfyre. He could say he did his best, but that Aegon refused to battle carefully. He would be honored after he died and Aemond would become king. Aegon doesn't notice the inaction, too focused on saving Sunfyre and himself. In a desperate move, Aegon unclips one of his restraints to grab the dagger at his side and drives it into Meleys's eye as Rhaenys screams in shock and fury.
Meleys wails and lets go of Sunfyre, dropping out of view. Aegon is triumphant and turns to his brother with a smile. Aemond isn't smiling. We watch as he follows Meleys's descent and decides he's safe for now. He returns his attention to Aegon. It would be so easy to do the deed himself and blame Meleys. He contemplates it only for a split second, but Aegon's face goes from smiling to horror. We think he's understood what Aemond plans to do, but in fact, his eyes are fixed on a sight behind him. Meleys has darted up from behind, mouth open and poised to burn Aemond in his saddle.
Aegon doesn't hesitate. He urges Sunfyre forward and as Meleys breathes out a wall of fire, he throws himself and Sunfyre in front of it to protect Aemond from the blast. Before Aemond can react, Meleys sinks her claws into Sunfyre's chest and pulls him out of sight.
Aemond pursues, but it's too late. Meleys has bit into Sunfyre's wing and Aegon can barely stay in the saddle with his one remaining restraint. Meleys rips her head back breaking off part of Sunfyre's wing and the king and his dragon fall through the air, landing in the forest.
Similarly to the show, Aemond is able to defeat Rhaenys and Meleys on his own after Aegon's fall.
Later on, we learn the only reason Aegon was able to survive was the one remaining restraint held him to the saddle but allowed him to slide off to the side enough to evade some of the dragonfire. He's still burned and in pain. He sacrificed himself for his brother and Aemond can't betray him now. Not when he owes his brother a life debt, not when he's seen how deeply Aegon loves him. He becomes Prince Regent and reconciles himself to forever protecting his brother from this point forward.
#No idea if this is even interesting or well written but it's what I would have enjoyed#I'm imagining Aemond's contemplation of betrayal is only for about ten seconds.#a selfish impulse that ultimately leads to his brother's injury bringing Aemond immense guilt#because ultimately Aemond does love his brother but his desire for power cost him everything that actually mattered#maybe a bit too dramatic with the dagger to the eye part but I wanted to give Aegon something cool to do Lol#anyway hope there's at least a few people out there who enjoy the idea of Rook's Rest going like this#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#aegond#hotd#house of the dragon#hotd spoilers#hotd season 2 spoilers#hotd fanfic#bc I guess technically it is#rhaenys targaryen#sunfyre#vhagar#meleys
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Geta thinks his brother used to be beautiful, but it gets harder to remember every day. He watches him now, spread across the sofa like melted butter, and feels something more akin to disgust. The love is still there but it’s mutated. It has too many legs, it crawls across his skin and sometimes he wishes he could flick it off.
Ch1/1, 4301 words, mind the tags!!
#soooooo... yeah#honestly idk what happened#we were having hungover boxing day and we watched gladiator ii#and there were the horrid guys#and i just fancied writing something fun and silly#which for me is.... this i guess?#honestly i just needed a distraction from how hungover i am#when my bf asked what i was writing and i told him he said 'remember that i always support you but please dont tell me about it'#anyway here is is#MIND THE TAGS FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#emperor geta#emperor caracalla#carageta#getacalla#im not getting into the kingdom of heaven now oopsie#joseph quinn#fred hechinger#sorry mom sorry god#hillywrites#also i give the film a solid 5/10#it was literally just ok#it cost a squillion pounds and it was fine#who tf is paul mescal and why am i supposed to care?#i do not care about you sir
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