#but at the end of the day canon is a suggestion tbh

[fire-plays-totk]

Me when the post-canon BOTW lore I made up in my head for literal years does not 100% align with what is shown in TOTK

[always-just-red]

I wanted a slightly suggestive fluff with the twins if that's alright👁️👄👁️

A scenario in which they're finally done with Sylus's tasks for the day and get to spend some time with MC

CRYINGGG anon I low-key did deviate from the brief but I had this idea and I just ended up running with it. I hope you enjoy, regardless! I went into this ambivalent towards Luke and Kieran but something just possessed me honestly. Also dragged Sylus into it because there's no way in hell I wasn't subjecting him to this dynamic!! 😇 (I made MC here separate from canon MC for plot reasons, but if you want a fic with the twins and canon MC, just let me know!)

Onychinus' Finest

Luke and Kieran x Reader

Summary: All in a day's work for Sylus's loyal and committed worker bees crows

Genre: fluff & shenanigans

Warnings/Additional tags: MDNI (not smut but it's a lil spicy and I'd rather play it safe tbh), f!reader, nonMC!reader, platonic Sylus x reader, humour, swearing, suggestion, kisses, the twins are just obsessed with your legs honestly and who could blame them

| Word count: 2.1k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

Your call connects almost instantly.

“What?” Sylus hisses from the other end, and you get the impression he’s disappointed.

“Oof,” you groan, smiling, “what’s the matter, boss? Waiting on a call from a certain Deepspace Hunter?”

There’s silence in your ear, but not far from you, Kieran snickers. Your smile broadens. “You have three seconds,” Sylus seethes, with the precarity of a pot that could boil over at any moment, “to tell me what I want to hear.”

Three seconds is a bit of a push. You’re sat on a desk and Kieran is tapping away at the computer beside you, the light of the screen catching the sharp features of his mask; he looks like something from a horror story. You nudge his knee with your foot. He glances at you.

Wrap it up, you signal with a twirl of your forefinger.

His mask tilts downwards, almost imperceptibly, and you know he’s glaring at you from behind it. He flashes his middle finger back and you chuckle, watching him return to his work. “Files should be on their way shortly,” you explain to Sylus, because you know when to stop pushing your luck. “Ever’s upped the security on these damn computers. The device that guy sold you didn’t do shit.”

It’s also now pieces of a device, shattered against the floor from when Kieran had thrown it down and stepped on it in frustration. You’re not gonna mention that.

Sylus sighs impatiently, but there’s a hint of regret. “I knew there was something off about that deal. Do you think he tipped them off?”

You glance around the room and it’s littered with bodies. Not dead! Just… unconscious. At least, most of them, you think. “Yeah…” you muse. It was a lot more security than there should have been in a high-rise office in the middle of the night. “You might be onto something there, boss.”

Another sigh from Sylus. You watch Luke as he finishes looting— wait, no— checking the last of the security guards for anything helpful. He’s found a phone and he’s staring down at it, head tilted, reminding you of Mephisto. You briefly wonder what came first: the crow masks or the crow-like behaviour. Maybe you’ll ask Sylus one day.

Luke lifts the phone, holding it at arm’s length, and you realise he’s taking a selfie. He pivots until you and Kieran are in the background, and you lean into the frame, making a peace sign with your free hand. The moment is captured. Luke tosses the phone over his shoulder and it hits the floor with a crack.

“Are you all alright?” Sylus checks, and you know his eyes are burning with frustration, even though you can’t see them. He wears a mask too— most of the time— it’s just a little more figurative than yours or the twins’. You’re an expert at reading past them by now.

“Yeah,” you say, “we signed up for this, remember? You’ve got the best of the best, right here.” You glance between Luke and Kieran. “Well, the best of the best and her sidekicks.”

“Hey!” Kieran interjects. “You wanna have a go on this computer?”

“No,” you lilt back sweetly. What’s he gonna do— make you? Sure enough, he goes back to tapping away, his head sagging slightly, and you can tell he’s pouting.

Luke has wandered closer to the pair of you. “How much longer?” he whines, throwing himself into a wheely chair, setting it on a slow collision course with Kieran’s. You stop it with your leg.

“Shut up,” Kieran snaps. “At least I’m doing something.”

“I can do something,” Luke retorts. He captures your ankle, pulling it away from the leg of his chair, and rests a hand on your shin.

“Something isn’t in the mood right now.” You lift your foot from his grasp, inching it up his lower abdomen, and he groans as you plant it against his chest. “So unprofessional,” you tut.

You’d stifled your phone against your chest, but you can hear a deep voice leaking out of it. “Say that again, boss?” you request, bringing it back to your ear.

“How long is this going to take?” Sylus repeats.

“Not long. You know what they say, though…” You meet the eyes of Luke’s mask. Your tone drops: “All good things to those who wait.”

Luke’s chair squeaks, rolling back as you push him away with a soft kick.

“Fine,” Sylus murmurs, “Mephisto is with me. Stay on the line, and send the files through when you can. I’ll check them before you leave. If they knew we were coming, there’s a chance that—”

“Yeah, yeah, I get the picture,” you interrupt. You get Kieran’s attention again, then gesture between the computer and the phone. The beak of his mask dips as he nods.

Luke has used your lapse of focus to draw himself close to you again. He takes your ankle once more and guides it to rest in his lap, one hand tight— holding you in place— and the other deftly undoing the buckles on your boot. After a few clinks, he pulls it from your foot, the leather dragging down over your skin and leaving it cold. He throws the boot at his twin’s leg.

Kieran huffs as it tumbles to the floor. He doesn’t look away from the computer, but you know he wants to. Now that’s professional.

Decidedly committed to another priority, Luke draws shapes on your lower leg, his finger grazing over your shin and ankle. He’s staring down, fixated, and maybe they aren’t shapes— maybe they’re letters. Every stroke of his finger is deliberate. You could ask what he’s writing, but you really don’t care so long as it’s more than a word or two.

If it is, he doesn’t have the patience for it. His fingers walk higher, stopping only as they reach your knee. The fabric of your dress is draped over your leg and he pushes it aside, letting it slink closer to the floor. He looks up at you, head angled like a question.

“Any progress?” Sylus asks.

You’re holding your phone between your ear and your shoulder, both hands splayed on the desk beside you so you can lean slightly back. “Getting there,” you say, lips curving. You’re not looking at the computer.

You could swear you hear Luke laugh, but it’s ever so faint. He rests his whole hand on you, warming your lower leg with broader strokes, and whatever he wrote has been erased. Your breath catches as his touch moves above your knee, and it’s a tiny sound; no-one would notice.

Kieran’s mask turns towards you. “Oh, come on,” he sighs. “No fair.”

It’s an intimate art: seeing behind a mask. You have to notice everything.

“So hurry up,” Luke answers, his voice heavier than the last time he spoke. His chest rises and falls with every breath, just a little slower, a little deeper.

Kieran rolls his eyes—you guess, from the listless way his attention goes back to the screen— and you detect a huff. “Not fair,” he says to himself. He repeats it as he punches keys with his fingers: “Not fair. Not fair.”

Luke shakes his head gently: a fond exasperation rather than anything serious. He rolls his chair closer until he’s framed by your legs, then lifts your ankle to rest on his shoulder. His fingers curl, the pads of them brushing over the top of your foot idly, but it tickles, so you try to pull away. He grasps your ankle again. “Nuh-uh, kitten,” he teases.

It’s one of your favourite in-jokes; you laugh. Sylus can still hear you, and you’re glad he doesn’t know it’s at his expense. “Something funny?” he asks. Maybe he does know.

“Yeah,” you say. He could string you upside-down with his Evol and you’d still never tell him what.

Luke is chuckling to himself, and the sound changes as he lifts his mask just enough to free the lower half of his face. It’s not the first time, but it sobers you instantly. He turns to press his lips to your ankle, leans in— kisses further up. Leans in again— his mouth moves higher.

“Why so wriggly?” he speaks into your knee. “Stop.”

“You stop,” you counter, reaching forward to grab one of the horns peeking out of his hood. You use it to pull him away. Make him look at you. “Your little book on conquest doesn’t work on me.”

His lips widen into a smirk.  

“What book?” Sylus’s voice echoes.

You smirk as well. “Ask your pet hunter.”

You’re interrupted by a thud and your head spins. Kieran is standing up, slapping the top of the computer in frustration. “C’mon, work!” he urges. “So freakin’ slow.”

“Ah, ah, ah.” You shoo him away from the computer like you would a too-friendly pigeon from your lunch.

He flaps back in answer, his hand engaging yours in a brief slap-fight before he backs down. He slumps into his chair, defeated. “It’s almost there,” he groans, folding his arms. “Hey, Luke? Wanna swap?”

“No.”

“Do it,” you prompt.

Luke’s head rolls begrudgingly. “Yes ma’am. Jeez.” He plants a warm kiss on your leg again before clambering out from underneath it, pulling his mask back down over his face.

Another moment later and Kieran is in front of you instead. “You ok?” you wonder out loud.

“Bored.” He rests his head sideways on your thigh. His fingers find your bare lower leg and he runs them up, down, up, down, but it’s soft and purposeless. Soon, his head lifts— thin, red eyes staring up at you. The gaze doesn’t waver as he leans back in his chair and starts to unfasten your other boot.

“She’s gonna get cold,” Luke quips from the computer.

“Nah. She’s not.”

Your skin prickles as Kieran pulls away your boot, like a reflection of his brother, but tortuously more slow. He lets the cool air of the room set in. “Huh,” he corrects himself. “Maybe she is.”

You get the sense you’re being punished; both of them are petty. You’re pettier, though. “Sylus?” you speak into the phone.

“Mmm?”

“Did I ever tell you about the time that Kieran— ah!”

In a heartbeat Kieran has lifted his mask— not enough, but enough— and planted a kiss above your knee. His hand is around your leg, pushing it further from the other, and you can’t help but gasp again.

“What are you…” Sylus starts to ask, but then he changes his mind. “No. I don’t want to know.”

“You sure, boss?” you chuckle breathlessly. “It might surprise you.”

“Nothing would surprise me at this point, sweetie. Those files had better be on their way.”

You tear your gaze away from Kieran to glance over at Luke. He’s sat, propped on an elbow, his chin in his palm, and he’s definitely not looking at the computer. He sits up straight under your scrutiny. Turns to the screen. After a few more drums of the keyboard, he gives you a thumbs up.

“Got it,” Sylus chimes in, no doubt perusing the files already. “Nothing seems amiss. Nice work.”

“Thanks, boss,” you grin. “I’ve been working very, very hard.”

The phone is snatched from your hand. “She has, sir!” Kieran speaks into it. He stands, putting it on speaker before setting it down beside you. “I think she deserves the night off.”

There’s a crash as he shoves the computer from the desk, and Luke leans back, swinging his feet up onto the now empty space. He lifts his mask marginally to put two fingers to his lips, whistling in celebration. There’s a slow clap for good measure, too.

Kieran bows to him with a flourish. Then to you; you bow your head back.

“I’m hanging up,” Sylus states plainly.

“Ok,” you chirp, distracted. “I hope she calls you soon, boss!”  

“I don’t… I’m not…” your leader stutters. He reconsiders. “Thank you. Don’t think, however, that I’m—”

He doesn’t get to finish the warning, threat, or whatever else it was. Luke’s finger stands proudly on the phone, still connected to the ‘end call’ button. “What?” he dismisses as you and Kieran look at him. “I slipped! If boss asks, you saw me slip.”

“I did see it,” Kieran nods.

“I saw it too,” you add solemnly.  

There’s silence for a single moment, and there’s never silence with you three around. It lasts as long as it usually does.

You all burst into laughter.

[lexosaurus]

Ok, listen. I know, I KNOW that "Phantom Planet's Not Canon Fuck You." Okay?

But just. Hear me out for a second.

Do Halfas Need To Breathe In Ghost Form?

Okay so this is a really lowkeye "debate" (I say that in quotes because it's more just that people have different headcanons and tbh this is the best way anyway because, you know, fuck canon death of the author and all) as to whether or not Danny needs to breathe in halfa form. And while I, like most people, just sorta decide whether or not he needs to breathe based on whatever my fanfic plot needs, I actually think, canonically at least, there is some solid evidence that no, actually, they don't need to breathe in ghost form.

There's a few times in canon where Vlad is choking Danny mid-fight and Danny looks more mildly annoyed than seriously panicked about it, but you can largely chalk that up to Kid's TV Screening Filters, so I don't put much weight on those.

However, there are some moment that sticks out more than the rest. And that's when Danny and Vlad are in space.

Yeah, uh, I'm talking about Phantom Planet.

(I'm sorry)

So initially, both Danny and Vlad are shown to be wearing helmets that presumably have oxygen filtering through them. Now now, I know what you're thinking: Lexx, wouldn't this mean that they do need to breathe in ghost form?

My theory isn't that they can't breathe in ghost form, my theory is that they don't need to breathe in ghost form. There's a difference.

I also think that they probably don't exactly want to test the theory if they have to breathe or now. Better safe than sorry, so let's wear helmets!

(Also, side note, this furthers the other lowkeye "debate" as to whether or not they get seriously cold in their ghost forms because, uh, they're in space with no spacesuit)

But I digress. Here they are shown with helmets, suggesting that they do have some breathing capabilities, even in ghost form.

But at the end of the episode, we see Vlad here chilling on a space rock, no helmet in sight, looking perfectly fine albeit disappointed and bored.

This, obviously, suggests that halfas do not need to breathe in ghost form. And I think Vlad literally just discovered that as soon as he was ejected to space sans helmet.

So my theory is, while Danny and Vlad have the organs required for breathing and do breathe as a reflex automatically, when put in situations like outer space where oxygen is not available, their ghost half takes over a little more and they stop breathing. I think this is such an automatic thing that when this change happens in day to day life (like Danny being choked by Vlad mid ghost-fight), that like how us humans don't actively think about breathing, we just kinda do it, they don't really notice it either.

So that's my theory. I'm so sorry for needing to cite Phantom Planet here. I'm sure there's other things you can pull from canon too, but this was just the most obvious. Again, headcanons ftw, okay peace out ✌️

[alchely]

My Top Gallavich fics

So, under the advice of the lovely @iangallagherisadeadman I've decided to compile a favorites Gallavich fic list along with a brief rec of each, this won't be a strict top 10 cause I'm not gonna torture myself into excluding some of these stories on some made-up self imposed arbitrary rules.

A bunch of disclaimers: most of these fics are long fics, going from 30k words up, I'm not purposefully excluding shorter fics, I have read plenty of them, but they do have a harder time sticking in my head months after reading.

Most of these fics will be explicit, just read the tags on the fic itself if you want to find out more.

Some of these fics don't have links because the authors chose to lock them and as such make them unlinkable, in order to read them you will need to go through the author's page while you're logged in your AO3 account.

This ended up ballooning out of control and is A LOT longer than ten fics, I apologize in advance :p.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE US AGAIN – spoonfulstar - 231k words

Mickey and Ian have been students at Marceline boarding school their whole lives, as their time at the institute draws toward the end they will start to discover many things, about themselves, about each other and about the world they live in.

THIS FIC! I CRIED! The number of fanfiction that are able to make me cry can be counted on a singular hand, the emotional stakes get higher and higher as the story goes on, leading to a beautiful and bittersweet climax.

This story will make you think and feel deeply about topics you'd never think a shameless fic would delve into.

I am obsessed with Mickey in this fic, he and Ian grow up in an environment that could not be more removed from South Side Chicago and yet his personality is still so recognizably and distinctly Mickey.

The story goes very dark at times, and the fic itself could be considered lengthy, but I assure you the author has made sure to not make you feel it. Those 200k words flowed so well the story did not feel long at all.

HELP ME (TEAR DOWN MY REASON) – wehangout - 34k words

Mickey is a detective and Ian becomes a suspect in an investigation except Mickey already knows him because he's his favorite dancer.

This fic falls under the umbrella of fics where “Mickey is so in love with Ian he does something unbelievably crazy”.

Oooh boy, this fic, it's written in second person (yes you've read that right), tbh out of all fics I've read from this author I think this one was the easiest to adjust mentally to the change in perspective.

I loved Mickey’s “love” in this, just… This raw connection to Ian, the perfect cocktail of feelings, I could read that all day long.

IN ANOTHER WORLD – Roryonic - 249k words

Mickey does not get sent to prison at the end of S5, what happens after and how his presence influences future events (mostly Ian, but also every other Gallagher as well as his own family).

As far as I'm concerned this fic is the closest to a perfect S6 and beyond fix-it. The dialogue writing in this story is so close to canon Shameless that I could picture entire scenes in my head with the actors playing the characters, with their body and personality quirks.

Sometimes I find myself describing this fic like it's the actual show's deleted scenes, “Look, Mickey has his own storyline! And Mandy is here! And the existence of Yevgeni does not become a plot hole!”

There are some Mickey lines in this fic that to me are as canon as if they'd been in the show. Absolutely iconic writing.

I love this author so here's a rec of some of their other longfics, however I highly suggest a lot of their other much shorter stuff as well:

BATTLESHIPS AND LOVE BOATS: Ian and Mickey start their “no strings attached” kind of sex relationship a little later than canon but their attraction and love is just as strong. This is a sort of High School AU that turns into a Prison AU that turns into something else and every shift is just as lovely as the next.

YOU SMELL LIKE LOVE: Ian and Mickey are childhood friends, to the point that the rest of the Gallaghers might as well consider Mickey a seventh brother, mmmh, I sure wonder how things will start to change. Look, I never thought I'd love a childhood friends AU for Gallavich yet here I am, if it's good it's good.

ME AND THE DEVIL: Mickey unconsciously calls for a vengeance demon and Ian Gallagher shows up at his door, because Mickey is a stubborn dumbass they fall in love instead. This story has a lot of twists and turns and the premise is only the very beginning of the story. I LOVED it!

THE INCREASINGLY POOR DECISIONS OF IAN GALLAGHER – Shamelessquestions - 309k words

Ian is a dancer in a club, he accidentally gets involved in the affair of a dangerous mafia don, but the true danger is the attraction he and the mafioso’s right hand Mickey feel for each other as soon as they meet.

What. A. Classic. Truly, an unforgettable story, and I don't mean this in hyperbole, I read this story around… 2016/2017 during my second round in the Shameless fandom, then I read countless other fics in a lot of other fandom and yet this story was the only one that my mind retained from back then, to the point that I could still remember some of the finer details as well as the final plot twists when I came back to reread it.

The plot is constructed beautifully and the original characters (part of the Shamelessquestions fanfiction universe, as they come back time and time again in every one of their AU to fulfill their role in the story) are just as vibrant.

What a story, truly.

Favorite original character in this AU: Sal, his downfall is so satisfying and yet so pitiful to read.

TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME – Mellow_Yellow - 221k words

Ian finds something scary and calls Mickey for help, even though they had only reconnected that very day after two years of not seeing each other. Together, they get sucked into a situation they weren't at all prepared for. Can they even admit that they're in over their head?

The very beginning of this fic is SO cinematic it grabbed my interest from the very first scene and didn't let go until the end, DO NOT search for spoilers.

The only warning I'll give is that it does deal with a bit of gore and what I'm personally gonna define as slight psychological horror. That's it. Enjoy!

BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS – dancermk - 66k words

Mickey becomes a porn actor for a site where he has to pretend he's straight and not enjoying the copious amount of gay sex he's having on camera, enter Ian, another actor under the same agency and their off the chart physical chemistry.

This story has, needless to say, some really, really good smut. I especially loved their first time together, but every sex scene in this story is seared in my mind.

ETHERIZED AGAINST THE SKY – Snarfle - 213k words

So, I debated whether I should add this fic or not, but I think if there is one fic that will stay in my mind long after this Shameless binge of the past couple of months it's this one, and it should absolutely become one of those fic that everyone in the fandom should read.

After Mickey gets shot by Kash his life takes a completely different direction and he ends up in a group home where, through many difficult times, he turns his life around.

So many iconic moments in this fic, some funny as fuck, some sad, some so absurd that I'm surprised they weren't lifted straight from Shameless, one so gruesome in the very first chapter that I was surprised to have such a visceral feeling from just words on a screen. Yeah, this story will stay with me for a long time.

OLD RULES FOR NEW SIDE PIECES – Shamelessquestions - 217k words

Ian is a Fed and he spots Mickey looking suspicious in an art museum, the mutual attraction is overwhelming, Mickey is not what he seems and Ian is already with someone else, but that's not gonna stop him from pursuing what he and Mickey have.

Putting it as bluntly as I can, this fic made me face the realization that I love cheating fics (if the cheating happens to someone else to bring together the endgame couple). I have already reread this fic twice and I could probably go for another one and not get tired of it, it's that good, and out of all this author's fics it's probably my favorite.

Favorite original characters in this AU: It's a three way tie between Dre, Ivan and Carrie, they're all very captivating in this story.

Other fic from this author I'd recommend cause I really love their style:

LOST IN TRANSLATION: Ian meets a very attractive man while he's in Ukraine who doesn't speak English, a mere language barrier won't stop him from flirting for hours. (adorable)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL HUMAN – Dragona - 66k words

Ian is an assassin, he meets Mickey and thus begins a very sick love story.

To say I'm obsessed with this fic is an understatement, I suggest to everyone to just go read the original author’s own description of the fic, it sets the tone of the story magnificently.

This is an Ian Gallagher that almost resembles Jerome (also played by Cameron in Gotham) but like… a slightly more subdued and saner S1/S2 version of him. I love the layers that get peeled right in front of my eyes, the madness that creeps in a bit more every chapter. I LOVE this story.

DRIED INK - 87k words

This fic combines my two favorite Gallavich-specific tropes, one being ‘Mickey comes back from prison after s6, Ian is with someone else’ and ‘Ian cheats on that someone else for Mickey’

I love the Gallaghers in this and how unsurprised they are at Ian going back to Mickey right away. It's a little jewel of a fic.

Mickey tries SO hard to stop himself and Ian in this but their love is too magnetic, they're irresistible to each other.

THE QUESTION OF NORMAL – blue_newman - 92k words

Ian is a prison counselor, Mickey is in prison, they fall in love and it's beautiful and Ian is incredibly devoted to Mickey in this fic and I fell in love with them both in this.

KINDA RAW – catgrassplantdad - 6k

Quite simply this is my favorite short pwp fic.

Illustrating those “five times” in one night that Mickey references in 11x01.

This fic is so hot, I love it <3

QUATERVOIS – DodgerBear - 51k words

Soldier Mickey gets stationed in the middle of nowhere and meets a farmer called Ian who makes him question everything.

Falling under the same umbrella of “Mickey does something crazy for Ian” fics and this is why it stuck in my mind even if it's been a while since I've read it.

I LOVE this story, their dialogues and everything that happens in it. The setting is lovely and you will fall in love with the description of Ian’s farm.

Other fic by the same author that I also loved:

BURDEN OF PROOF: Cop Mickey gets caught in a legal battle between the two oldest Gallagher brothers, something doesn't feel right though…

THE WORDS HE DOESN'T SAY: Mickey is released before Ian in s10 and has to meet a court-mandated therapist. The story is from the therapist POV and goes AU from the beginning of s10 in that Mickey gets involved back into Yev and Svetlana’s life, the dialogue is, quite obviously, the main attraction of the story and it's really well done. (Also, written in first person).

THE MENAGERIE – CrossMyDNA - 147k words

Ian decides to re-explore his bdsm preferences at The Menagerie where he meets sub extraordinaire Mickey on his very first visit.

Shameless is undoubtedly the fandom that opened my eyes to what bdsm could be back in… approx 2016? When that other popular bdsm fic was still around *ahem*.

So it definitely feels like a sign that coming back into the fandom this fic now exists and is SO GOOD.

Obviously it's very explicit, the smut in this fic is one of the best I've ever read.

The chemistry between Ian and Mickey sizzles off the screen and can absolutely be felt even in moments not of the nsfw variety, absolutely recommended!

MICKEY MILKOVICH’S GUIDE TO FLIRTING – whatwouldmickeydo - 40k words

An s2 “missing moments” between Gallavich, completely canon compliant, all under the pretense that Mickey is following a step by step guide to flirting.

I wish this fic was describing canon moments, not kidding a single bit, I wish I could somehow magically manifest these scenes into existence they're that good and fit that well into canon.

M8TE – gallawitch - 53k words

Omegaverse fic where Ian and Mickey both start using an app and end up matching with each other, even though a connection is made almost instinctively, coming to terms with it with a sound mind will take a bit longer…

Hey,had to have at least one of these on here lol

I love omegaverse and this was everything I wanted from it, couldn't have asked for anything better really <3.

SHACKLED – MyRelapse - 19k words

Ian has a change of heart and he decides that Mickey IS the one he wants, even if he's still in prison, so he keeps in contact and goes through every hoop imaginable to have him back as soon as possible.

Reading this made me so happy like I could burst, love it.

WAITING ON MY OWN TOO LONG – Ride4812 - 266k words

This rec more than any other on this list is what I'm gonna consider self indulgent because it covers the trope I always craved to read in such a satisfying way: Canon AU where Mickey comes back from prison after 8 years, Ian has found someone else but the moment the two meet again they fall back into each other right away.

The series is made up of 4 smaller fics:

One more night

Something more this time

No more lonely nights

Ain't this life so sweet

(I will point out here and nowhere else that the last installment of this series has some segment that probably needed to be re-read a couple more times, but by that point I was too invested, and the quality fluctuates a lot only in certain parts)

The writing style is very direct and to the point, which I love, the smut is very present and written beautifully and most importantly never boring.

Ian is a MESS in this fic and had me Stressed™, mostly cause for some reason I can't handle too much casual depiction of drug abuse and addiction (I know, ironic considering the fandom).

Conflicts and resolutions are never clean cut, they don't necessarily resolve quickly or definitely or the way you probably imagine they should and I find this level of realism very satisfying.

Taking a bit of space here at the end to also rec a couple other Ride4812 fics that I also loved:

COUP DE FOUDRE - A model/photographer AU where Ian and Mickey fall in love the instant they meet and do some crazy things because of that.

HOPE HE MIGHT - A lawyer AU where Ian and Mickey are on opposing sides for the same client, an interesting murder mystery steeped in a religious cult.

Generally I feel like this author is really good at depicting just how unapproachable Mickey can be to anyone that isn't called Ian Gallagher and I eat it up every time.

WHAT THE NIGHT DOES TO THE DAY – andchaos - 9k words

A Gallavich childhood friends AU with a quite original arrangement for the story and the various segments of their lives. Very satisfying read.

RANSOM – BeckyHarvey29 - 112k words

Terry sends his sons to kidnap a Gallagher child to force Frank into paying back the money he owes, unfortunately for him Mickey and his brothers kidnap Ian, and a whole other kind of story unfolds.

Mickey and Ian falling in love in this fic is such a good read. I don't wanna spoil anything of how that or the kidnapping plot goes, since the two are so intertwined. Just know that it will be worth it.

UNDER LOCK AND KEY – Suzy_Queue - 106k words

Ian is assigned the night shift at his new job where he provides spare keys to his fellow college students stuck outside their dorm rooms. To make matters worse his shift coworker is the oh so infamous Mickey Milkovich.

I am magnetized by the way this author writes their pining for each other, their attraction and obsession, how it blooms and unfolds. This fic in particular had me develop a very bad case of tunnel vision, couldn't really turn away until I finished reading it all.

I still haven't read everything this author has to offer, but so far I also loved:

INHUMAN: A mysterious force starts attacking people close to Mickey and it all seems to lead to a mysterious redhead Mickey is oh so coincidentally obsessed with. Very cool paranormal story.

THESE FOOLISH GAMES: Mickey takes over as the boss of the local branch of a trampoline park, where Ian is one of the employees, they annoy each other to no end but what they don't know is that they're secretly texting each other.

IS THERE SOMEWHERE – andchaos - 48k words

Mickey is born with no words on his skin, convinced he's going to live a life of misery cause no one will ever say the words he's destined to hear, he's not a very happy guy. Here comes mute boy Ian who crashes into his life and won't let go.

A classic Soulmate AU, I love that like in a lot of other Gallavich fics their physical connection and compatibility usually comes before their emotional one, it is one aspect that I feel distinguishes their relationship to many other fandom’s ships.

LAST NIGHT AT THE VERONA GRAND HOTEL – the_rat_wins - 27k words

Mickey starts working at an ancient hotel who's supposedly haunted. Mickey doesn't believe in ghost stories, he is much more interested in this one guest he meets at night during his shift.

What a cinematic experience this fic is! Absolutely recommended, the length of it makes it so you can read it in the same time it would take to watch the same story in movie format.

Other fics by the same authors that have impressed me:

FADE THIS ONE TO BLACK: Ian dies of overdose in a pile of snow outside the club, when Mickey finds him there he vows to do anything to get him back.

I don't know why but this fic in particular gives off the vibes of being a pilot for a ya urban fantasy TV series, except we gotta imagine everything that comes after the first episode lol

NO LIE: Ian and Mickey are Soulmates and as such they can't lie to each other. This series is short and sweet and full of feelings, perfect

PARAGRAPHS – pink_ink - 100k words

Ian becomes a reading tutor for ex-convicts, Mickey is among them and Ian starts paying him more and more attention.

This is a story where they meet under very different circumstances and where they've lived slightly different lives compared to canon and yet they're still able to find each other in the end.

Also, sign me up for every fic where Ian has to work just as hard to help Mickey and care for him as the opposite, where Ian's brand of stubbornness is the only way to get through to Mickey.

I'm also adding a couple of ongoing fics, just two to not overwhelm too much.

NONE THE WISER – Loftec - ~218k words

Ian starts visiting Mickey’s diner, it takes a while and yet no time at all to warm up to each other.

I'm captivated by the author's writing style. I love Ian's and Mickey’s relationship. I love how they sort of take their time and yet pine helplessly for each other.

I'm obsessed with the fact that the whole point of the fic doesn't appear until two thirds of the way in cause the diner scenes were just too good to pass up on lol (and I 100% agree with them).

INTRO TO QUANTUM DATING – spoonfulstar - ~563k words

Canon Mickey and Ian meet in University. A college slice of life but drenched in the casual (and not so casual) darkness of canon shameless.

The dark humor in this is fenomenal and left me gasping laughing so many times.

Unexpectedly Ian in this fic is pursuing a linguistics oriented degree, which was what I studied when I tried university, the topics are explained in such an accurate way I have to assume the author studied them themselves and that this story is somewhat a reimagining of their own college experience because if not this would be an absurd amount of accurate research to make.

Reading this fic feels like living through the American college experience from the comfort of my home lol.

As I said before, this author's way of writing does not weight you down even with its length, the story flows perfectly from one scene to the next and before you realize it you've reached the end and you have to accept that 500k words weren't even enough.

Let's end this list with some quick recommendations

WHILE WE'RE MAKING OTHER (PEOPLE'S) PLANS - kyasticlikestea

Mickey is volunteered to organize someone's else's wedding after he managed to salvage his own so well, he'll do it, but his own Southside way.

THIS IS THE ROAD TO RUIN - bricoleur10

Ian and Mickey never go to rob Ned, the story unfolds differently from there. A fix-it with a lot of Gallavich longing , very good smut and some really good dialogue.

HEY, HONEY MINE (I WAS THERE ALL THE TIME) - serveteas

Mickey talks about his crush with Iggy and accidentally pronoun-slips. Short, to the point, funny af and I just really love it. Takes place after their fight at Kash’n Grab in s2.

AGAINST GLASS - AllThatMatters

Ian gets traded from one club to another as a dancer (and more) and ends up in the Milkovich family's club. This is a Mafia!Mickey story with some pretty tight sub-plots, I love his brothers in this.

ONE OF A KIND - fckyeahgallavich

Mickey breaks his finger and it has to be set in the hospital, chaos - of the homophobic kind - ensues. Protective!Ian, I wanna hug Mickey in this.

IAN THE FRIENDLY GHOST - Ravenheart

Ian is haunting an apartment and Mickey starts living in it, Ian is maybe starting to have a crush on him. This isn't angsty!

BLOOD IN, BLEED OUT - brewrosemilk, Whatsastory

Historical AU. Perfectly innocent bystander Ian Gallagher is thrown into the affairs of the Ukrainian Mafia back in 1954, his relationship with Mickey will span decades and he won't remain innocent for long, the mafia can corrupt anyone.

TEENAGE RUNAWAY - sadwhales

Ian comes to live and finish high school with his half siblings on the South Side, he's immediately captivated by a boy sitting under the bleachers, maybe his North Side naivety will catch his attention too.

GARDEN SONG - melwrtiesthings

A glimpse into their lives in their West Side apartment, a lot of initial angst due to a manic episode and then a lot of recovery and healing and learning more about themselves.

[boom-butterflyeffect]

FUCK I accidentally fucked up my Chris post and the ask got deleted, but HERE'S THAT

Chris Hartley NSFW Alphabet

A - Aftercare

What. A. Sweetheart. Chris makes sure you're all comfortable and taken care of, double checks everything, and absolutely showers you with attention and affection.

B - Body Part (His favourite body part on himself and you)

Tbh, I think hands for both. He loves how big and strong his hands are, and how, in comparison, yours are smaller. He thinks it's adorable. He loves holding your hands.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Chris loves the expressions and sounds you make when you cum, makes him feel like he's doing a good job.

D - Dirty Secret

He would be embarrassed and secretive about the fact that he has dirty fantasies about you.

E - Experience (How experienced he is)

I don't imagine him having a LOT of experience considering he's canonically considered the "nerd" of the group, but I don't think he'd be a total virgin either. I'm not sure.

F - Favorite position

I feel like he'd enjoy missionary or having you in his lap, your chests pressed together and just giving each other sweet kisses.

G - Goofy (Is he more serious in the moment?)

He's so silly, and will try to keep the mood light. Being too serious makes him feel a bit nervous/tense, so it's nice to joke around and feel relaxed, just having a good time!

H - Hair

It's fairly cleaned up, maybe just a little blond happy trail.

I - Intimacy

He's very intimate and romantic, and would want every time to be special and meaningful. He wants it all to be perfect, and gets nervous about the idea of things going wrong.

J - Jack off

I feel like he would not do it himself as often, but would REALLY like it when YOU jack him off.

K - Kink

Size difference!!! Bro is TALL!!!

L - Location

I feel like Chris would be more private, and keep sexual activity in the bedroom, maybe on the couch when it's just the two of you.

M - Motivation

Same as Mike, seeing you in his clothes, especially because of how much taller he is.

N - No (Hard limits)

Anything that could at all hurt you. Again, same as Mike, I feel like he wouldn't be too interested in anything on the more extreme side of kink.

O - Oral

More of a giver than a receiver, very much a service top who loves to know that you're feeling good.

P - Pace

I think he'd be more slow and gentle, taking his time and making sure everything is comfortable and feeling good.

Q - Quickie

I can't imagine Chris being a fan of quickies, I feel like sex is a lot about the intimacy for him, and quickies don't have that emotional aspect that he craves from it.

R - Risk

Not a lot of risk, Chris likes to keep things sweet and intimate.

S - Stamina

I do like the idea of like- lazy cuddle sex, I can't see him being like super riled up and going for ages.

T - Toys

I couldn't imagine Chris owning or using toys, tbh.

U - Unfair

He's a sweetheart and I stand by that. He jokes around and will playfully tease, or suggest the idea of teasing, but at the end of the day, making you feel good and making sure you both enjoy yourselves is his top priority.

V - Volume

He tries to stay quiet, you can usually just hear him panting and the occasional curse or whine under his breath.

W - Wild card (Random NSFW HC of my choosing)

He LOVES when you're on top of him, controlling the pace. He kinda likes the idea of giving you control, because then he knows whatever you're doing is feeling good, and he trusts you to make him feel good too.

X - X-ray (Size)

Again, like 7.5/8 inches, I do not really know what is realistic here, tbh.

Y - Yearning

I think he would not be as pent up as the others, but some days would just really crave the intimacy and the romance of it all, just wanting you in his arms.

Z - Zzz

He'd stay up and take care of you until YOU fall asleep first, giving you little forehead kisses and just cuddling and making sure you're comfortable, and that everything he did was okay and felt good, and he'd just whisper to you how beautiful you are. Only once you're asleep and he knows you feel happy and content, will he fall asleep.

THATS IT THANKS

thank you @z0mb1epuzzy helping me w these because it's 2 in the morning and i've been sat here staring at my phone like a fucking lemon trying to come up with this stuff

THE PERSON WHO SENT THE ASK FOR MATT, YOURS WILL BE NEXT!

[envyenvys]

svsss | one-shot | T | 2.4k | ao3

This is. unreasonably long for what it is. I wrote this whole thing in a day bc I couldn’t stop thinking abt it and it’s so stupid but I hope it’s also as funny as I think it is??? So here, have some post-canon bingqiu nonsense from an outsider pov

What’s His Fucking Deal

#cucumber-spotting

dick jokes

[screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “Do you still take commissions?”]

passionate ranting

no fucking way

he’s still alive???

binghe obsession

of course this is how we find out

homoerotic undertones

maybe he really was dead and he just rose from the grave to commission art of lbh one last time

in a totally hetero way ofc

binghe obsession

ofc

passionate ranting

after a year?

homoerotic undertones

anything’s possible

binghe obsession

@ dick jokes what did he want anyway

?

homoerotic undertones

@ dick jokes

dick jokes

gimme a minute he’s still explaining

homoerotic undertones

still???

passionate ranting

ooo point for me

homoerotic undertones

no it’s not, that’s just how he talks

it needs to be pidw comment level ranting or it doesn’t count

binghe obsession

probably still a point for me though

homoerotic undertones

shut the fuck up

basically everything he says counts as a point for you

some of us actually need to put effort into our point collecting

binghe obsession

skill issue

your fault for picking one of the harder ones

dick jokes

how do you think I feel

binghe obsession

yeah you really fucked that one up

he’s only ever made like one dick joke

passionate ranting

famously

binghe obsession

famously

dick jokes

what the actual fuck

THERES NO WAY

he’s serious?????????

homoerotic undertones

context??

binghe obsession

what did he do now

dick jokes

he wants me to

how the fuck do I phrase this so it makes sense

he wants me to go to his stupidly expensive apartment to paint a portrait of him and his husband(???????) in sqq x lbh cosplay

📌 [passionate ranting pinned a message to this channel. See all pinned messages.]

homoerotic undertones

how gullible do you think we are

dick jokes

IM NOT FUCKING JOKING

[screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “Would it be possible for you to paint at least part of it in person? My husband would prefer the authenticity of a live portrait, though it can still be digital.”]

[screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “My apartment would be best, our cosplay will likely attract too much attention anywhere else.”]

passionate ranting

WHAT

HUSBAND??????????????????

homoerotic undertones

oh my fucking god

binghe obsession

did he marry a lbh cosplayer

please say yes

passionate ranting

SHEN QINGQIU??????????

what the fuck HAPPENED to him while he was gone????

homoerotic undertones

maybe he got fucking

binghe obsession

lmfao he wishes

homoerotic undertones

transmigrated

let me finish??

passionate ranting

I mean……

he did get married, so

it’s likely

binghe obsession

can we go back to the part where under suggested he got fucking transmigrated

homoerotic undertones

think about it

binghe obsession

oh don’t worry I’m definitely thinking about it

passionate ranting

wait no I kinda get it

PC is kind of perfect for a transmigration romance tbh

homoerotic undertones

he’d be so good at it

passionate ranting

like imagine he ended up in pidw, he probably knows that world better than the author at this point

classic op otome isekai protag

homoerotic undertones

exactlyyyy

binghe obsession

what if we had a normal conversation for once

passionate ranting

in the peerless cucumber discord server?

binghe obsession

yeah okay point taken

then can either of you two geniuses explain the lbh x sqq shipping

homoerotic undertones

see that’s where the transmigration theory comes in

otome isekai never has the protag end up with their character’s canon love interest, but in pidw that cuts out like every woman

binghe obsession

wait hold on

homoerotic undertones

which is fine bc we’re 99% sure he isn’t into women anyway, but I digress

binghe obsession

you think he got transmigrated into fucking LUO BINGHE????

passionate ranting

wait they’re onto something here

let them cook

homoerotic undertones

what’s more of an otome isekai plotline than the protag falling in love with a character they used to hate after actually getting to know them?

PC would be basically immune to all the bullshit sqq pulls in the early chapters, and with his encyclopedic knowledge of pidw he’d notice pretty quick if there was anything different about sqq

like the brothel theory and how he treats nyy

plus with the way he writes comments he’d be able to keep up with sqq’s snark pretty easily

passionate ranting

wait why is this kinda…… 😳

binghe obsession

we are NOT shipping peerless cucumber x shen qingqiu

dick jokes

what the fuck happened while I was gone

passionate ranting

don’t worry about it

what did he say?

dick jokes

well the good news is he’s paying enough to cover my rent for the next six months

homoerotic undertones

you’re fucking joking

dick jokes

the bad news is they want me to start tomorrow

binghe obsession

LMFAOOO GOOD FUCKING LUCK

What’s His Fucking Deal

#general

homoerotic undertones

@ dick jokes you have to tell us everything, we need to know if the transmigration theory is real

passionate ranting

it’s real to me

and honestly kind of compelling ngl

[passionate ranting created a poll.]

would you read the peerless cucumber transmigration romance?

☐ yes I need to know how his brain works [25%]

☐ fuck no he’d be insufferable [75%]

4 votes • 23h left

dick jokes

what happened to hello? how are you? good morning?

homoerotic undertones

good morning, how’s the commission going

dick jokes

bad

homoerotic undertones

didn’t you only get there like 10 minutes ago

dick jokes

yeah

┌ passionate ranting would you read the peerless cu…

passionate ranting

why are you all voting no

wait what’s happening with dj?

dick jokes

well first of all you’re both wrong, he didn’t transmigrate into lbh

passionate ranting

damn

dick jokes

second of all if I stop replying call the police immediately because the lbh cosplayer murdered me for looking at PC too long

it’s not like I’m a fucking artist who needs references or anything

passionate ranting

HES SQQ????

homoerotic undertones

villainess isekai……

passionate ranting

I can’t believe they sank scumcum in less than 24h

wait hold on

binghe obsession

where the fuck are you coming up with these names

also good morning

[passionate ranting created a poll.]

best PC ship

☐ peerless cucumber x shen qingqiu [100%]

☐ peerless cucumber x luo binghe [0%]

1 vote • 23h left

binghe obsession

there’s something wrong with you clinically

dick jokes

guys idk if I’m gonna survive this

homoerotic undertones

is the lbh cosplayer actually threatening you? bc I’m 100% willing to call the police right now

or book a didi to pick you up

actually what’s his address I’m coming to get you

dick jokes

fucking chill

(but ty I appreciate it <3)

I was talking abt the mountains of dog food they’re shovelling down my throat rn

binghe obsession

lmfaooo

dick jokes

I don’t think the lbh cosplayer has stopped touching PC since I got here

they’re like

nauseating

homoerotic undertones

honestly still a pretty good reason to just leave

I have the didi app open just say the word

dick jokes

six months of rent

homoerotic undertones

right

binghe obsession

I can’t decide if this is ooc behaviour for lbh or not

passionate ranting

the exhibitionism is accurate at least

dick jokes

ugh don’t say that

homoerotic undertones

bingge isn’t clingy though

passionate ranting

hm good point

binghe obsession

I’m just thinking, if the transmigration theory was true and PC became sqq, it would affect lbh’s behaviour

passionate ranting

omg we converted you

homoerotic undertones

oh that’s true, PC’s obsessed with lbh and he hates sqq… if he turned into sqq he wouldn’t be able to keep the plot on track to save his life

binghe obsession

actually nvm I don’t want to think about this anymore

homoerotic undertones

noooo come on, think of it as a character study!!

passionate ranting

yeah!! even bingge was obsessed with sqq for years, there’s no way a lbh with PC for a shizun could be normal about him

binghe obsession

ugh fine

passionate ranting

!!!

binghe obsession

well to start, it would depend entirely on what part of the novel PC transmigrated into, how much freedom he has to fuck around, and how hard he’s trying to act like original!sqq

canon lbh is an obsessive, horny perfectionist incapable of self reflection in any meaningful way bc he can’t accept that his life sucks and he’s miserable. He has mommy issues, daddy issues, abandonment issues, probably an inferiority complex and a superiority complex at the same time, and who knows what else. Basically anything airplane thought would be depressing enough to introduce in the first arc but then never resolved later on

homoerotic undertones

OK Peerless Cucumber

binghe obsession

YOU ASKED????

passionate ranting

under shut up I wanna hear the rest of the analysis 😭

binghe obsession

what I was GOING to say is that if the shizun lbh was always trying to get the approval of just turned around one day and started doting on him the way we KNOW pc would, he’d direct all his issues toward pc and then it’d probably dissolve into some endless feedback loop of obsessive behaviour

so yeah, the clinginess makes sense

passionate ranting

ohh you’re so right

hopefully a bingge with pc!sqq would have a happier ending…

this sucks, now I wish the transmigration theory was real :(

homoerotic undertones

probably better that it isn’t, since, yk, PC would have to die first

passionate ranting

only a little bit

dick jokes

thank fucking god I thought I’d be trapped in there with them forever

homoerotic undertones

are you already done??

dick jokes

lmfao god no

lunch break, I’m hiding on the balcony

there’s SO MUCH shit I need to tell you guys, you don’t even know

binghe obsession

they actually gave you a lunch break?

dick jokes

tbh actually I think the only reason I get a break is bc lbh wanted the time alone to feed pc

these two are literally insane

I’m eating off a takeout plate bc they don’t have enough dishes. they didn’t even offer me anything to drink bc there’s only one cup in the entire apartment and they share it

homoerotic undertones

what the fuck

dick jokes

RIGHT?

binghe obsession

thought you’d be full from all that dog food lmfao

dick jokes

ugh don’t remind me you’re gonna make me lose my appetite

which is saying something bc this is literally unironically the best food I’ve ever tasted in my life

lbh made it and I thought he was genuinely gonna kill me when pc told him to give me some

like I’m sorry bro you’re the one who hired me?? take it up with your wife

passionate ranting

what’s his problem 😭

you don’t need to method act for cosplay

dick jokes

I don’t think he’s acting though?? like this is 100% home grown issues

he calls pc ‘shizun’ unironically and refers to himself as his disciple

homoerotic undertones

wtf

dick jokes

AND they’ve been wearing the most beautiful, intricate, clearly handmade xianxia style hanfu I’ve ever seen the entire time, didn’t even take it off to eat which is CRAZY to me

like what if you dropped soy sauce on it and it stained??? I’d kms

passionate ranting

oh they weren’t kidding abt the cosplay attracting attention then huh

dick jokes

THEY WERE NOT KIDDING, NO

homoerotic undertones

we’ve got to get you outta there

dick jokes

six months of rent

homoerotic undertones

right

well. good luck I guess

at least the food’s good

dick jokes

at least the food’s good

What’s His Fucking Deal

#general

dick jokes

hey guys?

this is gonna sound insane but

I think this might be the real luo binghe

homoerotic undertones

what

dick jokes

I think we were right about the transmigration thing

I think peerless cucumber really did die and transmigrate last year, and he brought the real lbh back with him

it’s just… something about the way they’re talking? PC keeps having to explain things to lbh but it’s only the sort of stuff you wouldn’t know about if you, say, lived in a fictional xianxia world without modern technology

also I saw his huadian glowing, like LED bright glowing

you can’t do that with practical effects

passionate ranting

are you doing okay, dj?

binghe obsession

blink twice if you need help

dick jokes

I’m serious!!! there’s something really weird about them!!!

passionate ranting

that doesn’t mean they’re transmigrators??? they’re probably just hardcore larping or something

dick jokes

see that’s what I thought at first too, but then

HOLY FUCK

homoerotic undertones

???

dick jokes

[10 seconds of shaky footage of an icy portal opening in the centre of an upper-class apartment living room. A man in xianxia style hanfu stumbles out of it, followed by a much taller man with long, dark hair, and skin tinged faintly blue.]

passionate ranting

MOBEI JUN???????????

binghe obsession

is that fucking shang qinghua

homoerotic undertones

WHAT

passionate ranting

MOBEI JUN???? FROM PIDW?????

what the fuck. what the Fuck

homoerotic undertones

what the FUCK

this is so

passionate ranting

oh my god. you weren’t kidding. that’s the real luo binghe

oh FUCK peerless cucumber died last year and no one even knew

AND HE GOT TRANSMIGRATED?????????

homoerotic undertones

THEYRE REAL???????????????

wait why are they in OUR world?????

binghe obsession

I think I need to lie down for a minute

passionate ranting

why is shang qinghua there???? isn’t he supposed to be dead??????

dick jokes

PC just called him airplane

passionate ranting

AIRPLANE SHOOTING TOWARDS THE SKY????????????????????????????

homoerotic undertones

imagine getting transmigrated into your own novel and your biggest hater is there too and he’s fucking your protagonist

villainess isekai protag peerless cucumber is real and I don’t know how to feel about this

binghe obsession

I just know this is your fault somehow

all three of you

dick jokes

ME???

WHAT DID I DO??

homoerotic undertones

wait oh fuck this means airplane died too and no one noticed

how did it happen twice???????

dick jokes

……….. shang qinghua and mobei jun want me to paint a portrait of them too

passionate ranting

omg….. moshang is real……..

homoerotic undertones

DJ GO HOME??

JUST LEAVE

dick jokes

they’re doubling my pay

one year of rent is worth so much more than my sanity

binghe obsession

I just remembered when like two years ago PC said something stupid on weibo

and it was one of his “lbh deserves better than this shitty novel” rants so I commented something like “luo binghe isn’t gonna fuck you, dude”

he was so pissed at me

but like

homoerotic undertones

LMFAO

binghe obsession

he really did it. luo binghe really fucked him

[sepublic]

It's really surprising to think about it, but it occurred to me that throughout the entire show, amidst all of her accomplishments, we technically never see Luz make a single human friend. This obviously doesn't count her parents, who are blood relations and (should be) friends by default. And it's not as if Luz didn't try, she quite explicitly did, although her attempts were dismissed by everyone else.

I don't think this is really a bad thing at all for Luz, because she has plenty of witch and demon friends, after all, and there's no meaningful existential distinction between humans and the Demon Realm's inhabitants by the end of the day, contrary to what others might claim. Likewise, there's the pretty obvious implication given by Yesterday's Lie that Luz could've made friends at the Reality Check camp, given how well Masha and co. resonated with Vee there and managed to retain their identities.

There's also those two kids (whom I named Mike and Bridget after the crew members they were based on) that invited Luz to the Halloween hayride, although Luz obviously had too much on her mind at the moment to be receptive. I wonder if Luz ever became properly acquainted with them once she started healing during the time skip, as the existence of the Earth and Demon Realm exchange program suggests that other humans have also been introduced to the Boiling Isles.

It's implied that Luz grew distant with Masha and co. after taking Vee's place, on account of technically having never been close to them to begin with; And like with those two kids that invited her, I suspect it had to do with Luz's trauma and the awkwardness of secrets creating a gap between them, in addition to Luz needing to help her friends adjust to Gravesfield. Under other circumstances Luz would've been eager to embrace her fellow weirdoes, but with her guilt over everything (including depriving Vee of her friends, I imagine) it just wasn't the time.

Again, I find the introduction of Masha and co. to be really effective because I think it rattles Luz's sense of self by making her question her decision to stay in the Boiling Isles; Because seeing Vee and her friends just suggests to Luz that maybe the Reality Check camp could've worked out, and she'd have been able to get friends without having to lie to, hurt, and be separated from her mother in the process. Which makes Luz second-guess herself, and in addition to Camila making her promise to stay, causes Luz to begin mistakenly regretting her decisions.

But as we all know, if Luz DID go to the camp, so many terrible things including genocide would've been allowed to happen without her, and so many people would've continued suffering. And she also got to live out her dream of being a witch, which you can't really blame her for attempting when she got the opportunity. What happened already happened and it's not as if Luz can be blamed for it, because how could anyone anticipate the chain of events, and ignore others who certainly did much more, with actual malice, to contribute to the trauma? Luz had to see things the whole way through and she did; Choosing herself helped others, it didn’t hurt them like Luz thought!

Anyhow, it's basically canon that Vee got to reconnect with Masha and co., and more than likely reveal her true nature and history, especially with Gus leading an exchange program she’s part of. So I like to think Luz DID make human friends in Masha and co., as well as the two who invited her to their hayride; I love how they seem to lowkey adore Luz as a fellow weirdo, and tbh, it's not as if Luz needs human friends when she already has human connections, because witches and demons are no less 'real' in terms of being people and all.

But it'd be nice if Luz ultimately found it reassuring, the realization that there were weirdoes in Gravesfield like her, and that she could've been friends with them; Especially if it did happen anyway because Luz chose both worlds and not just one. My point being, we need a lot more content with Luz meeting Vee's friends, and especially hanging out with Mike and Bridget, since we actually saw human strangers like Luz for being Luz!!! They’re canonically fans of Luz from her chaotic reputation (not the one Vee made) and were curious to see if she’d do a crazy costume again like last Halloween!!! And their existence reassures viewers that they needn’t go to another realm entirely to find weirdoes like them, because they exist right here on this Earth!!!

[edipos-library]

Starting off w one of my favorite animes of all time! (As you may have gathered from the aesthetic of the blog lol)

🌷 Ore no Imouto Ga konnani kawaii wake ga nai 🌷

•Status: Canon, the siblings Kirino and Kyosuke confess, kiss, date for a couple of days and have a make-up wedding, in the game the relationship lasts much longer if the player chooses the Kirino route!

•Nature of the relationship: The story is a frustrating slow burn between an unaware but supportive pushover big brother and a sexually depraved but repressed bratty younger sister! They anime is based off a dating sim game so there's multiple love interests (and some are quite annoying tbh) but Kirino is the end goal and there's a good chunk of characters who supports them!💕

•Content warnings: Age-gap, moaning, suggestive content, censored nudity, lolicon, angst, talk of sexual themes, abusive and controling parental figure, characters that talk badly about otakus/anime and toxic friendships

[callivich]

Hi Calli! How about #20 and #26 for the winter asks?

Hi Kat! 💖❄️

20. Who would win in a snowball fight?

I think Ian is great at making really good snowballs, really quickly. Mickey is great at throwing them really hard though. I think Ian is trying to play fairly (only throwing at Mickey’s body) and Mickey is the first one to play dirty (like throwing snowballs at Ian’s face or perhaps even another sensitive area…..) and once he starts doing this, Ian decides to play dirty too. I’m not sure there ends up being a clear winner, I feel like the snowball fight ends when they tackle each other and start shoving snow down each other’s pants. OR maybe they have so many snowball fights that they have to keep a running tally of who has won the most fights. Not sure what the winner eventually gets but it’s something dirty 😅

I also have another idea….maybe season 1? Where Mickey keeps stalking Ian around the neighbourhood, hiding and throwing snowballs at him. And Ian is so confused and pissed off at this mystery person who keeps throwing snowballs at him. But eventually he catches Mickey before he can duck down out of sight and he should be angry because this has been going on for weeks but he can’t be and they end up having an epic snowball fight.

26. Do either of them ever get roped into dressing up as Santa for Franny and Freddie? How does this go?

I think if anyone tried to get Mickey to do it, he’d tell them to fuck off. I don’t think Ian needs to be roped in, tbh. I can see him suggesting it post-canon. Maybe he’s feeling a little disconnected from the family, now that he and Mickey don’t live with them. They’re all going to spend Christmas Day together which is great! But Ian wants to do something a little extra, so he suggests dressing up as Santa and surprising Freddie and then Franny on Christmas Eve (maybe they’re all living in different places so Santa will be travelling around the South Side!) Lip, Tami and Debbie all think it’s a great idea. So, yeah, it’s Ian and he’s great at it. He does a silly voice and dresses up and brings the kids candy (probably too much candy if the disapproving looks from the adults are anything to go by, but it’s Christmas!) The kids have the best time and Ian feels really happy. Maybe it becomes a yearly tradition until they’re too old to believe in Santa anymore.

Mickey also loves Ian in the Santa suit for entirely different reasons e.g. my Christmas roleplay fic and @whatthebodygraspsnot’s magical Santa Comes Early fic.

[shkika]

do you think slugcats actually wawa? It is a fairly popular fanon sure but I have been wondering for the last few days. We know slugcats must have some decent hearing - some of the map markers are explicitly the slugcat using its hearing to differentiate between other living creatures in other rooms and so on (although the actual passages they apparently just commit to the memory). Probably not as good as black lizard hearing but pretty good. However this part of gameplay as proof of canon worldbuilding might be taken with a grain of salt

that may suggest that audial communication between slugcats may actually be pretty hard to hear for humans - similar to how we cannot hear most of audible signals of various rodents. The problem is, well, it is a gameplay concession for the most part and tbh the way gameplay is integrated with worldbuiding - the devs made an attempt but the realization is imho wonky at best and misleading at worst.

back to wawas, we can try to draw a comparison between domestic cats and slugcats wherein meow is something mostly relegated to 'babytalk' and a specific type of call which some cats, especially those who grew up with humans, adopt for cat to human communication (with cats who grew up without much human interaction sometimes never taking up a habit of meowing even if they end up living with humans later on and actively engaging with them positively). In this case a wawa is a specific signal that is either used for example in danger (owing to how we hear a wawa like sound in one of the danger alert osts) or during communication with the young.

this assumes we take danger osts as actually symbolically reflective of something.

Howerver! While just like the map it seems to be largely a gameplay concession, most of slugcat out of cutscene (aka the gourmand ending slides) communication is reliant on body language. Pointing, jumping, things like that. Even with the pups we mostly interact via those things. Which... either suggests a dimension of pup interaction we do not see because of the gameplay limitations or we should take it as wawa not being a slugcat 'babytalk'.

Which leaves wawas with a very dubious space as a potential 'can be fit into canon' or not.

Oh I'm SO sorry, but I don't think slugcats wawa at all,,

I just think Rivulet ONLY can scream.

Slightly longer ramble under cut!

I think lore and gameplay are mostly done pretty well! For example the cycle mechanic is something you can only really theorize on if you look at both gameplay and lore. You get to experience the pain of cycles all on your own!

As for wawas.. as you have mentioned, they mostly use body language and art. Picture from Gourmand campaign ↓

Spearmaster draws too, and uses sign language to communicate with Suns. And I hear you. "Spearmaster is domesticated, they don't count" and you're right!

BUT

The fact they can learn such complicated sign language would imply they have the capacity for it in their brain to learn and memorize a language so complicated in the first place. Unless that was modified as well.

But it is more intuitive for slugcats to understand gestures than speech, which is why they need the mark of communication as they otherwise just hear incomprehensible garble. Their brains weren't made for many complicated noises. Yet when they DO have the mark they are capable of understanding extremely complicated sentences and such.

The wawas in threat themes are just the track not actual noise your slugcat makes. A lot of tracks have quite the bizarre sounds in them.

I think slugcats draw, point and jump to communicate. They're rodents that sign!

My only self-indulgent funny headcanon is.. as forementioned, that Rivulet can scream. There is no proof or basis for this. It's just incredibly creepy and funny to me.

This is why that creature wanders alone. Cursed being.

[demonictumble]

fic rec list (1/??? )

this is a fic recommendation list for whomever wants a good read. All of these are on AO3. I have not provided links, so just search them up!

If you do end up reading any of these, or really any fic in general, remember to leave the author comments!! They deserve them, esp because they do this for free and they deserve to know how beautiful their writing is and how appreciated they are.

My PSA: COMMENT ON FICS AND DONT TAKE AUTHORS FOR GRANTED

DC..

IMPORTANT NOTE I am not a religious fan where I only like a fic when it adheres to canon characterization or texts. I can enjoy fics even when they completely throw off what's actually canon and that's okay for me, but it might not be for you. So just keep this in mind and the back button exists for a reason if you don't like something.

Buy Back the Secrets by Sundiscus (incomplete)

Tim Drake and Kon El centered!! OH MY GODS. I could rave on and on about this fic all day but I'll have to keep it brief. I've reread at LEAST 5 times. It's brilliant. The writing, the plot, the characterizations!! They are incredible. If I had to use a phrase to describe it, it would be "identity shenanigans and timkon" but that simplifies the absolute masterpiece that it is SO MUCH

Executive Assistant to the Batman by heartslogos (complete)

Tim is basically Bruce Wayne's assistant and is desperately trying to avoid letting them know that he knows. This is complete crack, but it is hilarious. The writing is so funny and It's what I need after a bad day or anything tbh. It may not be completely true to characters or whatever, but it makes up for it a thousand times over in spirit and the laughs it's produced from me.

anything (not the title because literally ANYTHING) by IzzyMRDB

I can rave about them all day because the dc/batfam fics I have seen them right are all so delicious and I devoured them far too fast and momggg its just so good. and I love their writing style <3

Reverse Robin AU by yellow_cabellero (complete)

I CANNOT DO THIS SERIES JUSTICE WITH MY WORDS. IT is a must read for me. The writer writes spectacularly and the characterization, even though its a reverse robin, feels on point, especially considering the circumstances (Im a huge believer in circumstances shape a person's personality, which is what I think occurs beautifully in all of these fics). They're just so GOOD.

Also this author has a STEPH FIC that is stunning. 10/10. Steph is a character that doesn't get the appreciation she deserves, so this fic was especially more touching for me. It was terrific seeing her girl bossing in the 90s (IT ALSO FELT SO PERIOD ACCURATE CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT). Not to mention, the author shows off character flaws in a believable manner and nobody is a Mary Sue and it's just EVERYUTHING IS JUST *chefs kiss* by them.

The Fishbowl by LordLuxury (complete)

This is Dick Grayson centered. THEY HAVE MADE A MASTERPIECE. I genuinely mean it. Dick is constantly trying to pull the family together, he is trying to be the glue as everything tries to go the opposite. LET THIS MAN HAVE HIS FAMILY. This had me in shambles. Bad Dad Bruce hurt me, but it was just so realistic. That's what gets me. The whole dynamics portrayed in The Fishbowl are so goddamn realistic and it feels so real. Everyone is flawed in their own way and its just... PLEASE READ IT I BEG OF YOU.

Love and Bruises by Acin_Grayson and Hoebiwan (complete)

Despite what the title may suggest, this is actually funny! Jason thinks Batman is abusing Bruce. And I just remember dying of laughter as I read this. Terrific! Would read and Will read again

Marvel (I am a movies fan so most if not all fics I recommend from here on out will be probably based on movies!)

Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man and Friends by ciaconna

GREAT FIC. Harley (potato gun kid in one of the iron man movies for those who don't remember) gets an internship with Tony stark for college application reasons and its to help Spiderman. Peter Parker and Harley whateverhislastname is such a funny duo and they made the fic spectacular. Terrific writing omg.

Peter and the Jailbirds by beautifullights

I THINK THIS FIC HURT ME. I don't really remember much bc its been a year and a half, but I think my emotions remember because I feel mildly sad when I think about it. Peter is on the raft and bonds with the ex-avengers also on the raft. The premise of a teenager possibly spending the rest of his life in prison is terrible, but I swear this fic has funny moments and the conversations that occur are to die for because the WRITING. WHEW.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? by theskeptileptic

Tony survives and it's set after No Way Home. Where I'm pretty sure the only people dead are May and Pepper. Morgan saves the day by remembering her big brother (Im a sucker for big brother Peter arc). Peter is kind of a mini Tony in this one I think, which is such an interesting take. And it's such a coming home story and its just so beautiful.

Cross Overs:

Even Heroes Have the Right To Dream by Bounemr (complete)

mlb/dc crossover!! where marinate and Jon are retired superhero and go to college together! Great writing and plot with a good ending. Fluffy for the most part as far I as I can remember (it's been a year since I've read it so you know it's good if I can still remember)

Hired Hands by neighborhood_yogurt (incomplete)

Percy Jackson/ DC crossover!! It's been a while since I've read this one too but It's stuck with me. It's hilarious and I need to reread it but Percy is accidentally on Penguin's payroll because he's just a dumb blonde at heart, but it's okay we all love him. And Shenanigans occur. I don't remember exactly what happens so reminder to read this again for myself as well!

(IDK if any of these authors have tumblrs, if they do, someone please tag them and I will forever be in your debt)

[kiryoutann]

WIPs UPDATES!

okay,,, i'm just gonna give everyone a quick update on two main things i'm working on: EX PROBLEM and chapter 12 of A MAN'S HEART IS TRULY A WRETCHED, WRETCHED THING.

starting with EX PROBLEM...

currently working on chapter 3. and im stuck.

i imagine the fic would probably have around 5-7 chapters.

there's gonna be um,, some.. wriothesley x fem! reader stuff.

^ i honestly don't know how far should MC go for him actually, like.. are they just gonna kiss? or they're gonna do more? idk pls lemme know what u want. it's a possibility that they're gonna do more.

^ and idk if this is a good news or not cause i know there are people who strictly wants to just be with ajax and ajax only, but i swear guys it's gonna be fun. maybe

like, if you want some angry sex, u gotta make ajax so so fucking angry and he's not gonna be too angry just bcs you give another guy a kiss on the lips right...

i want to give him aneurysm of his life.

EX PROBLEM is probably gonna be released around december or january OR february. if everything is going good, and normal, and nothing happens to me.

so if you're religious, pls pray so i wont have writer's block or demotivated or some fanfic-author canon events happening irl.

love ya u extra mega patient people.

THEN, MOVING ON... A MAN'S HEART IS TRULY A WRETCHED, WRETCHED THING.

YAAYY, chapter 12 is... almost finished.

i got the outlines for the few last part ready so,, i just need some days to finally finish it and proofread it.

i thought about splitting it into parts, cause there's lots of things happening here but... hmmm, i just want to keep the series short and as much as i like to torture my readers with cliffhangers, i decided to be nice about it and just put it in one chapter. hope it wont overwhelm you all tho<3

^ another reason for this is so the next chapter will start with those heavy feelings that we've accumulated in the previous one.

and tbh, i'm really nervous abt this one cause i want it to be PERFECT, i want it to hit you in the right places.

to summarize everything happening in chapter 12, MC gonna be spiraling throughout the whole chapter.

still not sure when to post this tho. probably at the end of next week, or maybe after new year!!

OKAY, i think that's all. i'm open to any suggestions, open to any theory discussion n stuff. love ya. stay healthy n happy everyone<3

[deadmanwalkingfanclub]

Chuger Playlist

Dead Man's Party- Oingo Boingo

The Chauffeur- Duran Duran

Perfect World- Afterwords

Wasteland- The Mission

I Surrender- Pete Shelley

Take Me Out- Franz Ferdinand

Underneath The Radar- Underwold

Less Than Zero- The Weekend

The Promise- Arcadia

The Sun Always Shines On TV- A-Ha

Say The Word- Arcadia

Never Let Me Down Again- Depeche Mode

Saved By Zero- The Fixx

Reasonings:

Dead Man's Party- A Luger pov type song. Has a lyric about a chauffeur. Is mainly just a fun song that is about a dead/dying guy

The Chauffeur- Need I say more, it's about a Chauffeur. Chaz pov song. Less so about the specific lyrics but the vibes. "Living for another day" evokes Luger and Chaz's struggle with only having a limited time

Perfect World- I am too passionate about this being about dmw I am in a delusion land and need to make a music vid thing using it. The lyrics fit the setting and the "caught lying face down in the dirt" always reminds me of the scene where Decker's goons push Chaz onto the ground.

Wasteland- Chaz calls the PlagueZone a "wasteland". Definenelty a lyric song. The lyric about the singer describing someone too innocent for the wasteland is reminiscent of Luger speaking of Chaz

Also it was released in 1987 the year the movie came out!

I Surrender- THIS IS THE CHUGER SONG.

user @unidentifiedprimate even made it work into an amazing fanvid honestly watch it it's so well edited<3

It's about Luger giving in to accepting to loving Chaz and I will not accept any other interpretation

Take Me Out- "I know I won't be leaving here with you" very reminiscent to the ending where the two part ways (but of coarse in OUR sequel they find their way back to each other) other than that, just a vibes song

Underneath The Radar- No real matching lyrics. I see this one as more of a "post canon" type song about how Chaz and Luger have to keep their relationship a secret because UNITUS is after Luger's ass

Less Than Zero- um ok PERFECT LYRICS. could be Chaz thinking about Luger or Luger thinking about Chaz. The pov alternates in the middle of the song

the lyric "I couldn't save you from my darkest truth of all" could be about Luger's fear of death or Chaz's secret

song suggested by @kieran-hayward-art

The Promise- Another vibes only song. can be skipped tbh

The Sun Always Shines On TV- Chaz pov. Not much to say mostly a "vibes" song with no real relatable Chuger lyrics. I guess there is a lyric about having worries and Chaz he is the king of worrying.

Say The Word- I know it's the 80's and it's goofy but please just watch the music video for this one

Arcadia's leading men Simon La Bon and Nick Rhodes are very Chuger coded to me and it's hard to explain but I imagine they are Chaz and Luger so... (they are even the same hights as Chaz and Luger, Jeffrey and Wings)

Never Let Me Down Again- It's about a dude and his "best friend" on a drive what more can I say

"Promises me i'm safe as houses as long as i remember who's wearing the trousers" is my fave line deffinenlty Chaz pov about Luger

Saved By Zero- The opening of the music vid shows a sign that says "Club Zero" the same name as the Zeroman bar Chaz and Luger meet in. In terms of lyrics however it's a bit abstract but save by Zero can be read as Chaz or Luger depending on the day

Saved by Zero can be Chaz being saved by Zeroman, Luger or it can be Luger "saved" by his impending death

[senorpugbean]

Detroit Become Human x We happy few au

These artworks are several weeks old and I completely forgot to post them 😭 they're too good to waste so I won't :3

I was having brainrot after I finished watching WHF

Children were unfortunately killed in war and any living children found in the canon timeline in the game makes the public aggressive, which led to the government eliminating them out of existence 💀

Kara and Connor are both still androids in this au, however Markus is human (North is an android who takes care of android refugee camp, Simon and Josh are human). Both the humans and androids have to take joy, the androids need it to function, I wanna say it's combined with the thirium but I don't wanna sound stupid.

The androids have pins (where the emblem would usually be) that they use for navigation, it's basically a usb. Just hook it up and you can put in and out data. The androids are connected the same way, the only way to remove the holographic mask is through messing with their programming. I didn't want to make it easy to remove like it was in the game

I made Markus human because it made sense to it he is gonna start a campaign to end the drug abuse and famine so 💀 he also lost his legs in a hiking accident, the grieve of losing his limbs was how he got on joy, what snaps him out of it is, he remembers Leo who went insane and disappeared. I'm open to more suggestions for Markus story tbh 😭

Kara is a public house keeper, she isn't owned by anyone (Todd is more like her manager in some way, he makes sure she doesn't go out of line), just scheduled a day with her and she'll show up to clean. One day, she is late for her regularly scheduled joy refill, and she opened her eyes for the first, she witnessed the dark and gloomy world, instead of being scared , she braver, almost as she had done it before (she has dw). Kara in this au is forced to explore the open world and then eventually ends up with 2 kids, Alice (canon) and Audrey (concept art Alice) because I love stressing Kara out !! :3 since children are exotic in the game's lore

Connor is not explicitly a deviant hunter anymore? But more like a downer hunter, he chases the stubborn ones and guides the innocent ones to the joy checkpoints. Hank is a former police lieutenant as usual, however he quit working after the death of Cole, who was killed by aggressive passerbys. Hank was frustrated with the justice system, which was why he left. Connor basically has to drag him back.

Congratulations on reading this far ily, if you have anything to add or ask pls feel free I am not creative by any means 😔

[warden-melli]

Out of curiosity, what convinced you to give Adaman a dad bod in his adulthood?

A few things actually. Obviously this is purely my own headcanon, and not one I’m not even 100% married to tbh. As it’s purely speculative I’m open to many possible future interpretations of the character, but it is one I’m particularly fond of

Firstly i feel that it’s important to specify that while I do choose to draw him with a “dad bod” in middle adulthood, it’s one that is also very muscular, similar to that of a strong man or weight lifter (not body builder)

I’ve published a theory on this before, but I believe that there is a lot of evidence to suggest that Adaman has an interest in fighting, or martial arts. A short version leaving out a lot of details; He seems to be an athletic person, his arm wraps appear to resemble those of a boxer or martial artist, and he’s even expressed an interest in learning some ninja techniques. We also know that fighting is a pastime in Hisui, with both clans shown observing a friendly match between Iscan and Gaeric in the full art Adaman and Irida trading cards from the Crown Zenith expansion for the tcg. There’s also signs advertising sumo matches that are visible inside of galaxy Hall, as well as Kamado being a sumo wrestler himself. Fighting seems to be a huge pastime is the Hisui region, and one I believe is likely that Adaman may participate in. It may even be the cause of his trademark eyebrow slit, with similar scars being common among boxers

Adaman also expressed an interest in cooking and learning to cook, leading me to assume that he has an interest in food, and the culinary world. He is even seen serving potato mochi in the festival scene shown towards the very end of the game

With that in mind, my version of Adaman is one who has explored his interest in training and fighting more as he has aged, growing physically stronger as he continued to excel at his sport. He seems like someone who is keen to learn, and with the sumo matches being advertised at Galaxy hall, and after getting a taste of it during his brief confrontation with Kamado as part of the main story, I imagine him jumping at the opportunity to lean a new skill. He is also someone who enjoys his food, and who has pursued his interest in cooking further, even professionally alongside his duty as leader (I headcanon him as opening his own restaurant one day). He is an athlete who is not afraid to nourish his body, and who is confident in both his abilities and his physique.

I also think it contrasts well, yet feels like a very possible outcome, for his canon design. With his design being based on Dialga it also felt right to try making his design more solid to kind reflect that steel influence. I’ve also always headcanoned Adaman as being a really good father one day, so a dad bod seemed a natural fit lol. It just seems like a more adult body type than the one he had as a young adult, so visually really helps to define that he’s in a different stage of his life now. Even though I’ve used the word “dad bod” to describe my older Adaman before, I think it’d actually be more accurate to describe him as having a strongman physique.

So basically, I see him as a happy, healthy guy. One who loves his food, and his sport, and whose body reflects his journey and those passions

(I really feel the need to specify that this version of Adaman is in no way intended to be a joke, or in any way negative portrayal, as is sadly so common in media when a character is shown to have gained any weight for whatever reason)

[fandomwe1rd0]

Rick and Morty: The Anime ranking!

Oh god I dreaded this day. Sooo if you wanna see me angrily ranting about a cartoon, this is the post for you! I will be ranking every episode of the Rick and Morty anime! Just to be clear, I'm not gonna do tiers like how I did for the show, since in comparison to the actual show, all of these would be F tier or AT BEST D tier, so just keep in mind in comparison to the actual show, these are Fs, I will still try to be detailed with the reviews though. Also I had to torture myself to rewatch the anime for this ranking, I hope you guys are happy, I had to force my eyeballs open Clockwork Orange style, y'all just want to see me suffer. I had to drink coffee to get through this because this was so bad and I needed some engry cause this was so soul sucking that it took all of my motivation. AND I DON'T EVEN FUCKING DRINK COFFEE BECAUSE IT'S TOO BITTER! I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE HAPPY! YOU DID THIS! (Just kidding, I love y'all mwah!) Ok now that I'm done bitching and moaning, let's get this going by continuing to bitch and moan about the anime! Now, I am aware that some people like the anime, and if you do, that's perfectly fine! Not everyone HAS to have the same opinion as me, I mean this is just a cartoon anyway, buttttt if you do like it, I would suggest skipping this post since my opinion on it is uhhh very negative especially if you like Elle, I will be very mean to her, this post will be an extermely unhinged rant, so please enjoy while I suffer! Spoilers for the anime ahead! Reviews under the cut! Unlike my previous tier list, I will be starting from the best and working my way down, let's get this started!

1. Fighting Mother. This is the best episode of the series! That being said it's still...not...good...I mean let's start off with the positives, the reason why this episode is the best one is because the animation for the combat is really good! Especially the animation in the fight scene between Space Beth and Tammy it's admittedly really smooth, like I kid you not it's actually...good! I feel like it's what the anime COULD'VE been but just...wasn't, it sucks because it could've been good but it just...isn't. This episode is mercifully short, being only 17 minutes. And baby Morty is adorable. I also do like Shaggy Rick, I feel like his character is legitimately interesting, too bad they didn't do as much as they could've done with it. Space Beth was also admittedly likable. Also Elle isn't here! Yayyyy! FUCK ELLE! Also, the music for the fight scene between Space Beth and Tammy fucking SLAPS! I just wish the fight scene was longer tbh. Ok anyway onto the negatives, the side plot between the Ricks are...fine...I guess, I've got no opinion on it, it's just kinda boring. I don't like the weird moral high ground Rick takes, why is he bothered at all by Shaggy Rick "throwing that family away"? Also...how is Shaggy Rick throwing that family away? Am I dumb or what? Also, NO THE RICK FROM THE ANIME IS NOT C-137! SAY SIKE RN! Also the ending is so random and anti climatic. And this is the first instance of them turning Morty into a pathetic little bitch boy and Rick being an asshole with no charmisa, charm, humor, or anything that made him my favorite character in the first place, all he is is that slightly grumpy old man all of the girl scouts hate being assigned at the nursing home! Woowee I love it when my favorite characters are derailed and turned into twisted shadows of their former self written by a bad fanfic don't you!?

2. Alien Elle. You know the episode is gonna suck when Elle's name is in the title. Fucking ELLE! Stupid fucking self-insert mary sue...ok, ok, being mean...lemme start with the positives! Uh...Shaggy Rick is back...so uhm...that's cool I guess. I also like how we get a canon Morty birthday, also...MORTY'S HEIGHT IS DIFFERENT IN THE ANIME! SEE?! THAT'S PROOF THAT THAT'S NOT MY BOY! (I-I mean I know it's space Morty but please shut up...) Either that or the anime writers didn't watch the show before making the anime....nahhhh of COURSE they watched the show that's why the show is so much like the anime right....? Righhtttttttt? (Watching the anime fucking sucks please kill me) Also, I'm sure this was unintentional, but the scene where Morty is looking for Elle kinda parallels the scene where Rick is looking for Prime, so that's cool! I mean even down the Morty printing a picture Elle out of his head like how Rick did with Prime! Too bad I care so little about Elle. Okay! Onto the negatives! Fucking ELLE! She HAD to ruin the episode, of course she randomly earns someone's trust because her style is just wonderful! Even though they didn't even know a damn thing about each other! This episode is so goddamn BORING! Like it bores me out of my mind, like most of the anime but still. Elle and Morty's relationship is again very rushed and boring. They are the reason why the rule "Show, don't tell" exists! It tells us about how happy and amazing Elle is and how much Morty loves her without showing it to us, and Morty is just reduced to being Elle's proud boyfriend, I mean he isn't even doing good things because he's just a good natured kid, it's all for FUCKING ELLE IT SUCKS IT SUCKS SO BAD! I don't like the rants they go on about multiverse, they try too hard to sound smart. And Space Morty and Rick's dynamic is just...kinda lame honestly, it's just a cliche mentor-student relationship that's been protrayed hundreds of times before, which is huge wasted potential, you could've grappled more with Shaggy Rick's guilt since he feels like he's replacing his original Morty who died, that could've been some serious interesting internal conflict that coul;d've fleshed him out as a character! But nope! All he does is tell Morty not to call him grandpa andddd...that's it! OH WOW I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH DON'T YOU ALL OF THE CHARACTERS ARE TOTALLY HUMAN AND COMPLEX AND NOT AT ALL SEEM LIKE THEY ARE FORM A BAD FANFIC I LOVE THIS ANIME DON'T YOU?! This episode also sucks! But I mean, it didn't infuriate me as much as I thought it would, it mostly just bored me out of my school, this episode probably would've been better if it wasn't for FUCKING ELLE! FUCK ELLE! ALL MY HOMIES HATE ELLE! Although that can be said for any episode of the anime so eh.

3. Family. UGHHH WHY IS THIS EPISODE 21 MINUTES JUST LET ME DIE NOW PLEASE! Uhh on the plus side, YAY WE GET MINIMUM ELLE IN THIS EPISODE! I mean…she's still here but at least she doesn't do much. Jerry and Jerry Prime are…fine…even though I care very little about Jerry's superhero arc. Now onto the negatives! This episode doesn't have a lot of positives, but it doesn't have a lot of negatives either, it's just a boring, unmemorable episode. Rick and Morty do interact, but it's just kinda boring and it sucks how they can make their dynamic boring, Morty is a damsel in distress, Rick is a boring character, Jerry is just a goofy dad who's also a superhero…for some reason…they also make Jerry pathetic but eh…I mean at least they are trying to do something that the original show did…why is a weird green guy here? What purpose does he bring to the story? And some of the dialogue feels unnatural, Mr. Nimbus is here, but he doesn't do much, at least his character wasn't assassinated like my boys. I know it tried for a happy family, but I care so little for this version of the Smith family that I felt nothinggg! Really this episode is just boring, but at least it's not infuriatingly bad.

4. When we Meet in our Dreams. This episode is just another boring one. There's not a whole lotta positives, but I guess Space Beth was ok. And so was Shaggy Rick, still wasted potential though. He could've been SO much more interesting. I mean the story here at least made some amount of sense, like I was actually able to follow along! A rare treat in the anime! There's a lot of action, but none of it is particularly interesting in my personal opinion. Elle is here and she sucks but she doesn't have a lot of screentime, so she doesn't make the episode suck as much as she usually does. But of FUCKING course Space Morty's last words are "I love you Elle" EVEN THOUGH HIS MOM AND GRANDPA ARE RIGHT FUCKING THERE BUT NOPE HE JUST WANTED TO TALK TO ELLE! I really did not care about his death and it's anti climatic, but it could've been worse I guess, I just care very little about Space Morty since he's only been in a handful of episodes. Elle like sacrifices herself to save Morty? I dunno it's very convoluted and stupid. This episode is just kinda boring, but at least it isn't infuriating.

5. The Girl Who Manipulates Time. I…am so confused…why was there an alternate version of Summer if she's never seen or heard from again…w-why is she here? Why was that needed? I mean..I guess the gay drama between alien bureaucrats are…fine…I mean it's one of the only entertaining things about the anime…so uh…there's that. Wait wait no start with the positives…uhhhh I like the theme song, I mean that's a positive about every episode but this was the first time we see it, and I hate that it's actually really good…like I'm sorry but it might actually be better than the show's theme song, but of course fucking ELLE is in every single frame. Fuck Elle fr. But whatever, the theme song's good! It does a good job hyping you up. The backgrounds here are admittedly really pretty. Uhm…I guess every character is…ok? I mean they are all kinda boring but…they aren't…unlikable. I will give this some leeway, since first episodes tend to be a little iffy. Now onto the negatives! The plot is extremely basic, it's been done a million times, being stuck in a simulation, Tron, Die Now, Free Guy…need I go on? This episode introduces a boring side character that only gets brought up in this episode and the finale, and no, you do not need to watch this episode to understand his role in the finale, he literally just exists here to pad out run time and he is so forgettable I can't remember his name, I just watched this episode and I don't remember. Elle unconsensually kisses Morty so that is not big fun, and she like…never gets called out for this? It's just acted like some normal thing people in healthy relationships do? Like no bitch, DON'T KISS SOMEONE WHO CLEARLY DOESN'T REMEMBER YOU! Also Rick so clearly doesn't care about Morty in the anime, I'm sorry, he literally didn't care enough to make sure Morty could come back from the game no matter how deep he got, #notmyrick. This is embarrassing for a Rick fan like me, this isn't my favorite character ok!? I refuse to believe my Rick and the Rick from the anime are the same person. The story is confusing but it's trying to make you think it's smart by using smart people words, but it doesn't work and makes it more confusing. And of course, Rick and Morty don't interact, which is a trend in the anime. What? You thought Rick and Morty would interact in a show called RICK AND MORTY THE ANIME!? No! Of course not! Don't be stupid! A-also how…how can Elle not tell that our Morty isn't space Morty? S-she can tell the future…why…why are you even giving her that power if she isn't going to use it…? Plothole ahoy! Also…who's gonna tell the writers of the anime that being able to manipulate time and being able to tell the future isn't the same thing…? Also of fucking course Elle's ridiculously over powered…also her and Morty's relationship is extremely forced. Anyways, this episode sucks. Shitty start for a shitty series, it's fitting, really.

6. Memories. Another mercifully short episode! Only 18 minutes! Let's get the positives out off the way first! I did feel like Jerry was pretty in character, although I kinda dislike how all they made him was a goofy dad- wait. positives. I need to talk about the positives…uhhhh Summer was fine I guess…I like how they didn't do any weird clone shit with the Beths, although I feel like they could've expanded more on the tension between them, uhm…I liked how it showed the conflict between Beth and Jerry's marriage, even if they ended up doing nothing with it!! Uhhh Shaggy Rick has 1 good scene where he thought about his dead Morty so that's cool ig…they still do nothing with it though. YAY WHAT A GREAT ANIME! THE CHARACTERS ARE SO COMPLEX! Morty isn't made into a pathetic bitch boy! But he is made into just being Elle's proud boyfriend..hm. Ok onto the negatives! Rick and Morty interact but it fucking SUCKS! Rick is just an asshole to Morty and not in a lovable way, I mean he literally threatened to CLONE MORTY IN THEIR FIRST MINUTE OF MEETING WHAT THE FUCK! And Morty of course doesn't say anything because he can't stand up for himself in the anime I guess. They try too hard to make emotional moments, like with Morty and Shaggy Rick, but they only had one episode, so the amount I care about their relationship is very, VERY little. Shaggy Rick is infinite wasted potential, I get they want to have mutiple storylines, but I am just confused. ELLE IS FUCKING HERE AGAIN BEING A FUCKING MARU SUE AND GIVING THE CHARACTERS THE ADVICE THEY NEED OF FUCKING COURSE AND EVERYONE TRUSTS HER WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT EVEN FUCKING RICK WHO'S WHOLE THING IS THAT HE HAS TROUBLE TRUSTING OTHER PEOPLE! AND OF COURSE SHE FUCKING SAVES RICK! BECAUSE SHE"S PERFECT AND AMAZING SHE"S SUCH A SHITTY FUCKING CHARACTER! AND EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY FUCKING TRUSTS HER AND LOVES HER INSTANTLY AND WHY IS BETH SO FUCKING DUMB WHY LET A COMPLETE STRANGER LIVE WITH YOU AND SLEEP IN YOUR SON'S ROOM YOU KNOW THEY ARE DATING AND YOU KNOW WHAT TEENAGERS DO YOU FUCKING IDIOT AND HOW CAN ELLE NOT TELL THAT THIS ISN'T SPACE MORTY SHE CAN TELL THE FUTURE HAVE HER USE IT FUCK NO I WON'T TAKE MY ANGER MEDS FUCK OFF

7. Feel, Don't Think. This episode fucking sucks. WHY IS IT 20 MINUTES! Again, no positives so let's just angrily rant about the episode together! Unless you like this episode in that case uh…I'm sorry. Elle is again worshipped, the stakes are very low but they are supposed to be high, I just care very little about these characters, Morty is turned into a pathetic little bitch boy, Rick is just an asshole with no depth, I mean…at least the story made sense? But that really shouldn't be a positive. Rick and Morty do interact, but it wasn't anything great, Rick is just an asshole and regresses back to how he was in season 4 of the show, which fucking sucks. They make a puberty joke with Morty that just wasn't funny, and again I care very little about Elle, I fucking hate that bitch, can we stop focusing on her? Please? No? We still got 2 episodes to go…ughhhh…just kill me now.

8. A Pain in the Back. This episode was a pain in the back to get through (Heh, heh. Funny joke.) A very Elle heavy episode...whatever this is the finale..let's just get this over with so I can watch something good and be done with this anime...ok so one positive..gay representation! Frank, yeah that was the forgettable guy's name, has a thing for Morty...why is this anime so romance heavy? Whatever, even though nothing happens, it's still kinda cool to see, but for some reason Morty keeps going out of his way to spend time with him despite being married to Elle, yeah he marries Elle and despite Morty having 2 adults models, they just use him as a kid for some reason, Morty isn't a pathetic bitch boy, but he's just a boring stupid character. Rick suddenly cares about Morty now...because that was what the show does so we have to do it but we have to do it significantly worse! It feels so forced and unnatural because Rick never cared about Morty until the plot demanded it, I mean he literally hesitated and told Elle not to be stupid when she told him to do something that will save Morty last episode, A Rickle in Time? That episode never existed silly! You're just making stuff up in your head again! (I AM GASLIGHTING YOU!) And the ending tries to be impactful but it solves nothing, I did find it kind of funny that nobody cared when Elle died though since it was meant to be an emotional moment when it happened but it wasn't enough to save this dumpster fire of a finale.

9. Her Innermost Wish. This episode again fucking sucks, Elle dies and I legit feel nothing. Morty is so fucking pathetic, he cries 10 times in this episode. Space Beth for some reason can't fathom why someone like Elle would want to date MORTY because Elle is perfect because ofc she is. I care very little about Elle and Space Morty but they try to make us emotional but it doesn't work. Elle is surprised that Morty isn't Space Morty b-but…she can tell the future..I h-how did she not know MAKE YOUR ANIME MAKE SENSE WHY DID YOU EVEN MAKE IT THAT ELLE CAN TELL THE FUTURE IT LITERALLY DOES NOTHING AT ALL AND JUST ADDS A HUGE GLARING PLOTHOLE AND THIS IS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T NOTICE PLOTHOLES. Rick and Morty hug, but it feels so empty because they barely even interacted and Rick showed no sign of caring about Morty. And again, STOP FOCUSING ON ELLE I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER BITCH ASS! Oh god they're aren't going to stop…I wanna die

10. Free Will. No...god no please no..no...NOOOO! I was dreading this episode I promise you, it is SO BAD! UGHH WHY IS IT SO LONG 19 MINUTES!? WHYYY! I'll be honest, there really isn't any positives, so I'll just rant about this episode, good? Good. Why is Tammy in the opening? it does nothing and contributes nothing it's just there to pad out the run time. Oh boy I love filler! Elle fucking sucks as usual, if you weren't convinced she's a mary sue now, you will be convinced after this episode, everyone praises Elle and talks about how amazing she is, Beth talks about how much she likes the girl, she's already popular at school, they try to surprise you by revealing that Elle is anti-matter but I literally wasn't surprised at all, there is also no foreshadowing but they treat it like some super cool reveal. And basically she is anti matter and unless Rick gets rid of some device, the world will slowly deterorate because matter and anti matter can't exist in the same place, and this was the PERFECT chance to give Elle SOME personality but nope! Whatever Rick decides to do is fine because she's happy that she got to meet Morty! THIS EPISODE IS SO FUCKING BAD AH! It's centered around fucking ELLE. If you decide to watch the anime, please, PLEASE skip this episode! It is bad I promise! Don't waste 19 minutes of your life that you'll NEVER get back! It's not worth it I PROMISE YOU! And of fucking course Elle saved Space Beth because she's perfect and amazing! FUCKING MARY SUE! Ugh...whatever at least there's...4 MORE EPISODES LEFT GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!