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caintooth · 23 days

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From a transmasc who loves transfems more than I hate transmisogyny: If you are AFAB you should not be calling yourself transfem, a transwoman, or a transgirl.

Let me start this by saying that I agree, obviously, that our society needs to stop caring about AGAB. Ideally, we should not be assigned AFAB or AMAB to begin with, and we should all be able to use the language we feel suits us best. If you are both trans and a woman, it does seem like it makes sense to call yourself a transwoman, doesn’t it? Even if you were AFAB?

But let’s have nuance, please. Let’s start by acknowledging this: a world in which our AGABs have no impact on our social roles / perceptions / interactions is NOT a world we live in yet. No matter how badly we may want to simply be feminine and masculine and androgynous and outside of connection to a binary system and AGABs entirely, we have NOT achieved that sort of liberation. To pretend we have- to act as if your AGAB has no impact on the way you are perceived and treated- is an extremely privileged game of imagination.

The most common argument I have seen from AFABs using transfem / transwoman language for themselves is that they are someone who is both, by all definitions, transgender and a woman. This may be because they previously transitioned into manhood or transmasculinity, and did not identify as a woman or as feminine at all during that time, but now, for whatever reason, have started identifying as a woman / feminine again. Or they may be a person who identifies with any variation of non-binary woman, bigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, demigirl, etc. Any identity which is either “I used to not be a woman, but am a woman now,” or “I am a woman, and another gender or lack thereof, too.”

I understand. In whatever version of this scenario, they are both transgender or have transitioned at some point, and are currently feminine or a woman. It does really sound like transfem or transwoman should be the correct language to use in this scenario!

I am non-binary, transmasc, and was indeed AFAB. I get it. I am transgender. I am not a woman, but I am also, sometimes, a woman. I am transgender and I am a woman. And I spent years of my life fighting against femininity, only to find that finally being allowed to be openly masculine has helped me embrace femininity again. It seems this is not an uncommon experience. But I am not now, and never will be, a transwoman.

Because the word transwoman has very, very specific meaning. “Meanings can change,” and “words have more than one meaning,” you say? Yes, that is true! And it should be! Change and embracing of nuance is so important to our community. And nobody should be policing the language anybody else uses.

But that being said, please. Embrace this nuance, if you are so passionate about words having it. People who were AMAB and are women have extremely different experiences than people who were AFAB and are still / are again, in whatever form for whatever reason, women or feminine.

Being a woman who was AMAB has unique culture, intersectionality, and vulnerability. Countless transwomen have asked people who were AFAB not to use the language of actual transfemininity, because it is such a different experience than being trans and feminine separately. Let me make this clear.

People who were AFAB are expected to be and rewarded for being women. If we perform womanhood in an unpalatable way, yes, we do experience misogyny. If we are also transgender, yes, we do experience transphobia. But neither of these things, even when experienced at the same time, are the same as transmisogyny, which can only be experienced by people who were AMAB.

This is because of the patriarchy. Gender Issues 101. Manhood and masculinity are seen as the ultimate power. Womanhood and femininity, as less. So, yeah, I get your confusion here. People who were AFAB, especially if they are also trans or are women or feminine in the “wrong” way, will indeed always be seen as lesser than men, for the fact of being AFAB alone! Absolutely nobody is saying that misogyny and transphobia against AFAB people are not massively violent forces in this world. Nobody is saying people who were AFAB have it “easy!”

But again, again again- people who were AMAB and are women experience a form of violence and hate very different from the kind we as AFAB people do. You know as well as I do that the patriarchy does not view women who were AMAB as actual women. It instead views them as failed men. And to those indoctrinated, that is a crime worse than womanhood. It is the ultimate insult: “They are not women. They are clearly not men, either. They are third. Other.”

AFAB people who are trans or perceived as “failed women,” no matter our actual or internal connection with femininity or womanhood, are viewed by society negatively, yes, but not as third or Other. Because, despite the wording, “failed women” are still actually viewed as women. This is because the patriarchy views people who were AFAB as inherently flawed by mere circumstance of birth. We are inherently capable of failure, because we have already failed by not being born cis men… And cis men, on the other hand, are viewed as ideal, perfect, god-like, and thus not capable of failure at all.

Let me reiterate. Due to transphobia and the rigid structure of gender within the patriarchy, when people who were AMAB declare “I am a not a man,” they are denied the status of woman. But, due to misogyny and the position of men as supreme, flawless beings within the patriarchy, when people who were AMAB respond by saying “I am a woman,” they are also denied the status of man. It is this also which is so significant. They are viewed by the patriarchy as Other in a way that people who were AFAB never will be, because we will always just be viewed as women, which is at least human.

The fact that people who are AFAB will only ever be viewed as woman is a separate issue, with separate conversation around it. Because I understand, as one of them, that we may identify with a concept of thirdness and of Otherness. We, like women who were AMAB, are not men! We feel a kinship there!

But I think I have explained well why our experience of Otherness is not the same as Otherness experienced by transwomen who were AMAB. No matter how deeply we feel third, Other, different, strange, weird? Even if this is, from the depth our soul and core of our being, not how we want to be treated? Society is still willing to view us, at the very least, no matter how much we hate it, as women. Which, like I said, is at least one way to be seen as human.

Women who were AMAB, however, are only ever treated as Other. Not even as human beings. Do you see how this is different? Do you see how this is worse?

The two questions we are trying to answer in this post are, first, why is it wrong that some people who were AFAB want to call themselves trans women or trans feminine? Which leads us to, second, why would they want to in the first place?

Transwomen who were coercively assigned male at birth are, in fact, women. They are not Other. They are not third. They are human beings and the patriarchy is wrong. I know this. The wider queer community claims to know this, too.

But we must not let our desire to affirm transwomen in their womanhood cloud our eyes to the fact that the vast majority of the world still holds extremely violent and dangerous mentality towards them.

When people who were AFAB use the language of transwoman, transfem, and transgirl for themselves, they are equating their experiences to that of AMAB people. They are, in a way, fetishizing transwomanhood. They are saying, “I have seen those called transwomen also called weird, and strange, and third, and Other. I feel that way myself, sometimes. Words like ‘genderqueer’ and ‘genderfluid’ and ‘bigender’ and ‘demigirl’ and etc., though perfectly established and expressive of my gender, do not express to others the quality of inhumanity which I feel I am a victim of. They do not express my uniqueness. But transwomen are seen as inhuman, and unique in their suffering. I am going to associate my feeling of inhumanity with their word, too. I am going to make sure this association continues, so that my pain is acknowledged, too.”

It is a violent co-opting of language. It is self-victimization. It is denial of differing axises of oppression. You are allowed to hurt, to feel Other, and denied of your humanity. But what reason do you have to equate your experience of hurt with a more marginalized group’s oppression, besides selfishness? Especially when you have been asked, repeatedly, to stop.

This behavior creates an unsafe environment for actual transwomen, who deserve community with people who acknowledge the unique experience of transfemininity! Who should be able to comfortably find other actually transfeminine people to make friends with and confide in! Who should be allowed to have their own spaces, communities, and safety nets!

Transfeminine people deserve security. Sorry for the word play, but I literally cannot imagine anything more insecure than stealing language from transwomen.

#diary #gender #transmasculine #transmasc #transfem #transfeminine #transmisogny #afab #amab #agab #transwoman #trans woman #transwomen #trans women #afab transfem #afab trans woman #afab nonbinary #transgender #trans

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official-megumin · 3 months

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ngl being both a trans woman and intersex kinda fucking sucks.

Because you end in this intersection of both transmisogyny and heavy intersexism.

I can't really look to either the wider transfem community because intersexism is rampant there, but at the same time in intersex communities, AFAB intersex voices just seem so much loud and for AMAB intersex voices to be ignored.

I have come across two other AMAB intersex people on here, and both of them are very quiet about it, I haven't asked why. But I would guess it's because of how we're generally treated.

So even with the prominent intersex voices on here, you'll see the terms TME and TMA be condemned without nuance.

Because yea obviously they don't cover the wide spectrum that is human sex, but proveably it still is very very useful, because even in intersex spaces, transfems are smothered and not given space to talk. I have come across a lot of AFAB intersex people very in favor of AFAB people to be able to use trans fem as a label, and when it's used by specifically intersex AFAB people, I very much do not mind.

But where my opinion tends to differ, is that I do not think perisex AFAB people should use it.

I have only met one outspoken intersex woman on here, and still due to being afab. She was not barred needed access to gynocological care like I have been. So the clearly there are still differences in how we experience and interact with the world, because the world does not accept that sex isn't binary. It will latch on to the most minute differences to label us.

So with me being outwardly male, despite likely having full internal female sex organs, and developing classically female. I was still denied womanhood in ways that AFAB intersex people despite still very much being denied womanhood, don't experience.

I have many times trying to voice my opinions and feelings of overreach as an intersex trans woman, and I've always been ignored in favor of intersex people who haven't experienced being expected to be male.

And for those experiences I have been labelled a transmedicalist. Despite making it very clear that I don't care at all how you transition.

I simply want people to understand that some words have long histories that can't and shouldn't just be waved away. It can't be right that us telling you that you're overstepping boundaries and disrespecting us, is met with accusations of hate.

Just please give us space to voice our frustrations and let us talk about being stepped over, listen to us.

I just want one damn space I can feel understood and listened to in. Is that too much to ask for?

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the-delta-quadrant · 4 months

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when did the gender reveal podcast go from just interviews with all kinds of trans people to constantly platforming people who are antitransmasculine and exorsexist? even tuck themself keeps leaning into the antitransmasculine exorsexist bit, despite him being nonbinary and transmasc.

like they had a binary trans woman on who kept going on rants about trans men and nonbinary people on her twitter. i can't remember her name for the life of me. but WHY would you platform someone who openly hates on other trans people? i know for a fact they wouldn't have invited buck angel who does the same shit because when a trans woman does it it's seen as "punching up".

then not that long ago tuck literally said that transmascs shouldn't talk about their oppression in front of trans women because "it might be annoying to them". oh no. how annoying to know that other people in your community are also oppressed.

and today he's platformed the worst person yet: a self-identified transsexual woman (probably binary and white, prove me wrong), who

thinks the word transgender is bad because it includes both men and women, and she doesn't want to be associated with "male privileged" trans men, and then she said "i'm including nonbinary people in that" because somehow we're men now who have binary and cis privilege

thinks "transgender" is a bad term because by being gender neutral it centres trans men (literally WHERE, trans men have historically been invisibilised and erased and actually thrown out of the community, most people who hear the term transgender picture a trans woman, not a trans man, or let alone a nonbinary person who of course is included in "men"

says all these baeddelist things and then in the last 5 minutes trying to denounce radical feminism by denouncing the terms TMA and TME (the only based thing she did, but it's hypocrisy)

thinks the term transgender is bad because it was created by multigender/genderfluid people who didn't medically transition in the 60s whom she sees as "not committing" because they "don't want to give up their privilege, something that's said about nonbinary people and/or trans people who don't medically transition all the time today, and she denounces the term transgender because why would she be associated with dirty nonbinary people who don't follow the same path she does? not to forget that transgender wasn't actually coined by those people, it was coined as a medical term and then adopted by them, but sure, write a history book while actually getting history wrong i guess, she'd also just call these people cis men despite them actually having said that they're both a man and a woman. of course you demonise and erase multigender people even in the past

thinks trans boys have an easier time transitioning than trans girls

as a medically transitioned, probably binary, trans woman talks as if she knows anything about the lives of nonbinary people, afab trans people as a whole & trans people who don't medically transition

thinks that "not transitioning" is becoming a more popular choice for trans people (??????? most trans people literally at least change their pronouns when they come out, unless of course you're talking about medical transition, in which case you're probably a truscum because social transition is transition)

acting like nonbinary transmascs are actually just trans men who don't want the responsibility of male privilege, something that tuck has also basically said before

using the terms transmasc and transfem interchangeably with trans men and women and of course with medical transition

acts like she cares about material realities but probably hasn't listened to more than one trans man, nonbinary person or non medically transitioning trans person because she's too busy speculating on what it's like for us (apparently we have male privilege while also basically being cis women)

just overall framing nonbinary as an inherently privileged identity, which is why there are less amab nonbinary people because all the afab male privileged people identify as nonbinary or whatever flawed logic (binary people shut up challenge, you can't be exorsexist towards amab multigender people by calling them cis men and then wonder why no amab nonbinary person comes out to you)

and the whole transmedicalist undertone of the show for a WHILE now that trans = medical transition, applying the term transsexual to all trans people, acting like being transsexual is a better way of being trans, acting like not wanting medical transition isn't valid; the only reason someone wouldn't medically transition is due to lack of access.

like holy shit what the fuck happened to this podcast.

the blatant exorsexism and antittansmasculinity doesn't become less hurtful and harmful when it's coming from and promoted by a nonbinary transmasc person.

#nonbinary #transmasc #exorsexism #anti transmasculinity

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genderkoolaid · 2 years

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Kind of related to the 't makes you a mansplainer' thing I'm always amazed by thr difference in the way people perceive my music now. Pre t people thought it was cool that I played guitar but the second my voice started dropping and my beard started coming in people started getting annoyed by it. I started getting "no one wants to hear wonderwall" (I've never played that song) and "we don't need another man with an acoustic guitar". I don't even pass yet. That shift was instantaneous. And it's from the exact same people who thought it was cool before at a queer drop in center i go to, they used to turn down the music playing in the center because people were listening to me, going through my songbook and making requests. Now I'm lucky if I can play 1 song before someone tells me to stop because "no one wants to hear another man with an acoustic guitar"

It really hurts makes me want to quit playing.

Like I know t ruined my singing voice but damn, I just want to play my guitar I worked hard to teach myself to play.

Its so aggravating to me how cis, binary feminism has people treating trans men like we aren't an oppressed group. Erasing all of our unique experiences and struggles and perspectives to make us seem like Cis Men But Short And Weird. Your experience reminds me of people talking about how they went from being praised for being a woman in a male-dominated field to being ashamed of transitioning because they "failed" to "be a role model". In both cases, there's this assumption that trans men don't need support, that our accomplishments aren't hard-won, that we never struggle to make a place for ourselves in society. I mentioned in the notes of a post how we need a good word to describe being unfairly cast as an oppressor to cover up/ignore oppression (not just for transandrophobia but also antisemitism) because its so fucking concerning!! Its like people are specifically blinding themselves to trans men's transness and doing everything in their power to act like we're cis men. And its because thats basically what cis feminism does- there are only two roles, Woman (oppressed) and Man (oppressor), and by and large it only has two ways of reacting to trans men: either we're oppressed (by misogyny and nothing else) Women, or we're oppressors and Men. There isn't any way for us to place ourselves in this binary without harming ourselves. And so much of the time, this ideology ends up with us being punching bags for other people to take out their anger and trauma from cis men at an target they can have power over, while justifying it by saying that we're privileged men who need to suck it up and stop being so sensitive.

I'm going on a tangent but the point is: I'm mad as fuck that you are getting treated like this. I absolutely do want to hear more trans men playing acoustic guitar, because I never get to see trans men doing fucking anything! Being recognized as men and as equally male as cis men should not have to come at the cost of being recognized and supported like other marginalized genders. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that and I hope you are able to find people & a community that celebrates you and your talents like you deserve.

#m.#ask box #experiences with transandrophobia

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yaut-jaknowit · 8 months

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first of all I absolutely love your work honestly it is amazing!! And that last gawtin ask hurtttttt I was wondering if you could make a part two? If you want to of course maybe communication saves the day? I hope you have a good day!

Argument with Gawtin Part 2

Pairing: Gawtin (Female Yautja) x GN!Reader

Word Count: 2276

Summary: For hours, you stay in your art room, sobbing away the time until the tears run dry. Now, it's the time to figure out what to do. You don't want to leave, you never want to leave Gawtin or Qui'oky. They're your family. You'll find a way to fix this or die trying.

Author Note: Communication in relationships are incredibly important! Here, it does save the day. Thank you so much! It hurt me too to write it because I hate conflict and to have my favorite pair fight...

Masterlist

Ao3

Part 1

Once the tear ran dry and left stick, crusty lines down the lengths of your cheeks, you picked your head up enough and looked around. The space was the same, empty and void of Gawtin. Old paintings and drawings covered the walls from floor to ceiling, making this place yours. A room that the green Yautja had given to you. She done so much for you.

An ache started behind your sternum as you hung your head in shame again, unable to cry again. In an instant, you shoved it back into her face while flipping the middle finger at her. You sat up in your desk chair, chin level. You had to fix this. You wouldn’t let her go, wouldn’t let this go. Not her love, the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted before. The two of you were meant to be together, no matter who or what said otherwise.

How would you show how sorry you are though? You glance around the room. It’s not like you’re a hunter like her. You couldn’t bring how creature five times your size. No, you were her artist. You wield pencils, not knives.

What could you make? Something she could understand in her own culture, something that would be of great value. Then, you shook your head. No, if it came from you, it’ll be enough. You dipped your head.

A newfound determination filled your veins. You stood up abruptly and walked towards the only exit. Once you’ve reached the door though, you paused before hitting the button to open it. What if she was out there? You couldn’t just ignore her and walk out. That would be incredibly rude and inconsiderate of Gawtin. Well, you’ll cross that bridge if you reached it.

All was quiet and dark in the main room of her hut. Your shoulders sagged both in relief and disappointment. Where had she gone? Qui’oky wasn’t here, meaning he had to be with his mother. She wouldn’t leave him to his lonesome.

You left the safety of your art room. The door sliding close behind you. The floorboards barely made complaints as you walked over to the front door. A satchel hung off your shoulders, a knife sitting in one of the pockets. Not much more than for cutting stems rather than the throats of animals that could consume you whole. In another pocket sat a device similar to a GPS and could lead you back home.

So be it. You wanted to show you cared about her, that you truly did. An argument would not ruin everything you’ve built with her. You wouldn’t let it, no matter how much you wanted to take the next flight off this planet. This was your home.

Out the door you went. Cool, humid air smack you straight in the face. It was far better than the burning binary suns that would bore down on your skin during the day. You braved your way through the humidity and started a path in a random direction. You let your heart led the way.

For a few miles, you traversed with little thoughts of where to go. Only thing that filled your mind was the flashbacks of the argument. The skin of your bottom lip had been worn down till the taste of blood, an action you couldn’t help. Not when Gawtin’s voice echoed in your head to go home. You wished you had said this was your home.

And it was. You belonged at her side, holding her hand with Qui’oky perched on your hip. This was your family, you were going to fight tooth and nail for it.

A gut feeling told you to stop. For a moment, you prayed it wasn’t an instinct you were being hunted. The hairs along your neck never raised. You relaxed and scanned the surrounding area until a feeling drew you towards your right. A feeling you followed until you found a shiny rock. The colors that matched the same hue as Gawtin’s dark, forest green. It was slipped into the main pocket and sealed off from the world it once sat in.

For what was probably hours, you continued to do this even after the yawn broke across you face. When your satchel began to dig into your shoulder uncomfortably, you called it a night.

Flowers, tied together with a thin string were held in one of your hands. The other held onto the GPS tracker, helping you to trek in the right direction home. You couldn’t believe you had found yourself five miles away from the hut. The walk back would take you forever especially with how the terrain was. This is a jungle that ranged from steep mountains to gushing rivers. A few rocks had been picked up from the riverbeds and snuck their way into your satchel as well.

Though it took at least another three hours to return home, the two suns beginning to peek through the trees, you made it. Your clothes were soaked through with sticky sweat. Hunger twisted your gut with each desperate call for food. You were smart enough to have a waterskin attached to your satchel so you didn’t perish from dehydration that far from home.

The familiar forest green roof/walls met your vision as you pushed through the thickest part of the foliage that surrounded the cottage. Home. You smiled in relief and trudged up to the door. Without even thinking, too exhausted to even think up thoughts, you pushed your way into the home. Gawtin still wasn’t home. You huffed and entered your art room.

Your satchel’s contents was dumped onto tabletop. The flowers were untied ands laid out as well. It may all look like junk you’ve picked up from the jungle’s floor, but to you, it was unmade art. All it was needing was to be pieced together, like a puzzle. You had the hands to do it.

Like the artist the whole town knew you as, you began to piece what items could go together. Even with the need to collapse and sleep for ten hours straight pulled at your mind, you pushed through.

When you grew irritated when some pieces didn’t want to fit with one another, you set it off to the side and looked at the flowers. All of them had long stems, perfect for what you wanted to do. You had also grabbed a lot, possibly too many but you didn’t want to trek all the way back out there and get more.

Covered in dirt, your hands began to weave the stems carefully with one another. A pattern you had pulled up on a tablet Gawtin had given you long ago. On the screen, it looked ease to follow but grew harder with each newly added stem. At times, you were ready to rip it apart and set it on fire. Somehow, you soldiered through and finally finished the piece.

It was far too large to sit upon your head, which was exactly what you were aiming for. You didn’t have any measurements for Gawtin’s head and only estimated on her size. Not like she was home for you to measure without her growing suspicious in the first place.

Now feeling better at the fact you finished one of the projects, you moved back towards the mess of rocks and wires on the other side of your desk.

Almost a year ago, you had given Gawtin a necklace you had specifically went out to the market for. That led you into a mess of going from one vendor to another before getting captured in the end. Gawtin had to save you from the trouble but she was never mad. She expressed that after she got you to the safety of the hut.

Everyday, she wears that necklace. A sign of either pride or love, maybe even both. But you loved it and it seemed like Gawtin did too. Now, you were designing two bracelets. Either for both arms or one. Whatever she choose to do with them was up to her.

Back in the seat of your desk chair, you sat crisscross and stared upon the rocks once more. Ideas flowed freely inside of your mind, anything for this to work.

With these being on her wrist, they had to be incredibly durable. Once a hunter, always hunter. They would be put under great distress due to her everyday routine.

The wire used to keep the rocks secure was the strongest one you could find within a reasonable price and at the nearest market. Though, you used one of the young bloods to retrieve it for you for a small price. But, you had to use what you get your hands on without Gawtin knowing. You could be resourceful yourself.

You set to grueling work of designing a bracelet that could hopefully hold up to any added stress. A thick, durable band was used to tie the rocks to. The wire themselves were difficult to for around the rocks with no heat source to soften the metal. You did your best in the moment.

Before you on the wooden desk table, sat two bracelets, large in diameter but could also be tightened or loosen if need be. Again, you didn’t have her measurements on hand.

As a breath of relief left your lips, you heard the front door open then close. Even in the near dead silent house, you couldn’t pick up on the footsteps of the lumbering giant. Just one slab of metal kept the two of you away from each other.

Both of your hands began to shake. This was your one and only chance to fix this. You took in a lung filling inhale, leveled your chin, and grabbed your three items off of the desk. Your feet marched their way over to the door. It opened a second after you pressed the need button.

In the small kitchenette stood the goddess of your life. Qui’oky was at her feet and holding onto his mother’s leg. But when he saw you exit the art room, he made a noise of excitement and waddled over to you. You bend down and scooped him off of the ground. He would’ve climbed you to get into your arms if you hadn’t. You couldn’t wait for him to get older…

Timidly, you stepped over into the edge of the kitchen, eyes pointing downwards at the ground. A submissive position you hoped would be please her.

“Gawtin,” you called out softly then picked up your gaze to find her purple eyes already on you. She was lax but not letting a single ounce of emotion fall through any cracks of features. “I’m-I’m sorry. I want to start off by apologizing.”

Qui’oky grew too heavy for you to hold and got in the way. You put him back down, hoping he would loss interest in you for the moment. The prayer was answered.

The items in your hands were offered to Gawtin. The flower crown held out first. “I don’t know what way you guys apologize so I did my best. I was out all night and searched for the best because that’s all you deserve. I should’ve never said those things to you. This is my home. I want to be here. You never took me, I wanted to come with you.”

The bracelets were shown to Gawtin next. “And… and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else besides here, with you. I love you so damn much. More than I could ever speak or gift to you. You are my family and so is he.” You fall to your knees and clutched the gifts in your hands as if you where praying. “Forgive me, please. I don’t want to leave. Please, let me stay. With you.”

It was only a small crack at first. The twitch of her gem studded brow before her walls came crashing down. Gawtin knelt down in front of you and wrapped her arms around you.

“I must apologize as well. I apologize for mocking you, for telling you to leave. This is your home. You belong with me, with us,” Gawtin whispered, voice rumbling deep in her throat as she held you close to her warm body. “I do not have excuses. I should have not taken my pent up anger out on you. That is my fault. A mistake I will not make again.”

Being in her arms was the best thing you could ever ask for. You sagged against her and sobbed into her chest. New, fresh, hot tears ran new rivets down the length of your cheeks. You did your best to encase her torso with your arms but came up short. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you cried and held onto her as your lifeline. Because she is. She’s your lifeline.

Her massive hand ran up and down the length of your spine. “It is okay. Everything will be okay.”

An eternity passed until the muscles along Gawtin’s arms loosened up enough for you to pull back and look her in those beautiful purple eyes. She still kept you in her grasp, as if afraid you’ll disappeared. “Now, let me see what you have made for me, my little artist.”

In that moment, you knew everything was going to be fine. She was right. This was only a bump in the road you’ve gotten over. This is life. There will be more but as a power couple with your sweet child, you’ll make through it all. You smiled up at Gawtin through the blurry tears blocking your vision. Alien or not, you love her.

#yautja #predator #yautja x reader #alien vs predator #yautja x you #predator x reader #yautja x human #predator x you #predator x human #x reader #Gawtin #gawtin loves her human

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haveyoureadthistransbook · 6 months

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TransRightsReadathon Sales & Freebies!

I will be collecting books that are reduced or made available for free by authors for the TransRightsReadathon here. Feel free to share any that you know of that I might have missed:

Queeird: A Collection of Unusual Trans Masculine Erotica edited by Max Turner | ebook 2,80 £, paperback 6,30 £

Androids and aliens, werewolves and vampires, furries and… tentacles? This is a collection of unusual, and at times monstrous, erotica featuring trans masculine characters. From the ridiculous to the romantic, expect kinks, quirks and tropes. All the stories feature trans masculine main characters, with a variety of cis, trans female, trans male and non-binary lovers.

Deck the Holes by WrenVLothaire | ebook 0.50$

It’s Yule, a celebration Aloysius is well versed in but never has the time of year been his favorite. But with Malachai, a partner with whom he’s come to love and cherish, this holiday may not be as somber as it’s always been. This time he has a surprise in store. Let’s just hope the owner of the home approves of the decorations. t4t, trans man MC

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cuubism · 20 days

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Hey just wanted to say you're not a killjoy at all, you're actually absolutely correct

Thank you, I wish I didn't have to be 😔 I wish we lived in a world where gender equality was so long solidified that we could make silly jokes like that and not have it inadvertently feed into real world misogyny. I could see a world where women's inequality was so far in the past that 'ugh i wish i could just have someone else pay for everything' could be a funny #relatable 'we all hate working' kind of joke because everyone understood we don't actually want dependency. But that's not this time period when so many people genuinely believe that a woman's place is only in the home, and when young women might see that joke and believe that giving up their independence is a good idea or that women fighting for the right to equality in employment was a mistake. It inadvertently feeds into the rising tide of misogyny and points people towards those "traditional values" influencers that really push the idea that women should (god i hate the phrase "women should") submit to men and that their only valid life path is being a wife and mother. Especially when algorithms tend to push people down alt-right rabbit holes, like, even my insta feed is full of trad wife fundamentalist christian content because I hate watch it and then the algo feeds me more 😂 that's on me really I should just block all those accounts.

I mean, I sympathize, I hate my job sometimes too, I think everyone would like to have a life where they didn't have to work 40+ hours a week and had more leisure time. Unfortunately we live in a world where money by and large equates to freedom. So my go to complaint isn't wow I wish I had no life choices and was dependent on a man for my livelihood! when I'm irritated about work 😂

A lot of the content made by younger women online recently seems kind of regressive in its approach to gender roles, "i can't do this i'm just a girlie" and so on (I'm aware it's a joke, but oftentimes stuff starts as a joke and then reaches people who don't see it as one), and I worry about us backsliding. I'm concerned by young women idealizing the Trad Wife lifestyle, not knowing their history and how dangerous a position it puts women in. I'm concerned by the 'stay at home girlfriend' trend, possibly MORE dangerous for how it lacks even the meager property and alimony protections of marriages. I'm concerned by the increasing gendered political divide and radicalization of young men, the way misogyny has become more and more virulent and loud and normalized over the past few years. The way women's rights are being rolled back with even more restrictions being pushed by the Right in an attempt to hold onto power and maintain their hierarchical worldview.

We need feminism more than ever right now, and additionally I think we all need to reclaim it from radfems and terfs. The word has become too associated with them, to the point I fear people are afraid to call themselves feminists for fear of it being misinterpreted, and I'm sick of it, why should terfs get to define it? Especially when our rights in society are all entwined. Reproductive rights--an issue that doesn't solely impact women but does disproportionately affect women--arises from the same root issue of fundamental bodily autonomy as does trans rights. Moreover the existence of trans and nonbinary people reinforces gender equality because if gender and sex are malleable, not fundamental and binary, then upon what basis is the oppression of women? How can one claim that women are less than men, or that women and men 'should' hold such and such roles when even the role of 'woman' or 'man' is not discrete. I hope terfs can come around to seeing that.

I don't believe in policing people's online activity unless it's like actually threatening hate speech, so I'm certainly not going to tell them they can't joke how they want. I just hope they think about why that's where their mind goes when they don't want to work, instead of wishing that society didn't work people to the bone, that people had more leisure time, that jobs were better and more meaningful etc. I hope they think about the women around the world who are still denied education and denied the right to work and forced to depend on their family or husband with no freedom or autonomy, and how much work it took women in the past to even get where we are, and how much there still is left to do.

#idk WHAT'S gotten into me today with this XD i guess i've been watching a lot of feminist youtube so its in my head #don't worry i'll return to my regularly scheduled program of writing about my blorbos soon #feminism #misogyny #ask #anonymous

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romanarose · 4 months

Text

About a Girl: Chapter 3

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Summary: Blue surprises Joel by rebuffing everyone advances in favor of him.

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

AN: FIRST DAY OF PRIDE EVENT!!!

A note on langauge. This is a 90's au, different langauge was used than we know know, words we find offensive now. While no one uses slurs theres langauge used that may not be comfortable. Just remember in the 90s there wasnt such a unified community all over, especially in the south. Blue isn't going to talk the same as say, a new york queer today. I want to remain as most "time period realistic" as i can.

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

Tommy woke up hungover, just as Tess, Talia, Max and you probably were.

Joel only had one, but he was up early packing things for Sarah. Jessica didn’t have much as far as clothes and other stuff for a 5 year old, so Joel wanted to make sure she was prepared. It was supposed to rain and she definitely didn’t have rain boots or coat, not enough kids stuff to entertain Sarah inside all weekend. He made sure to pack her barbies, etch-a-scetch, and a few cassette tapes. Sarah wasn’t even up yet when Kayla knocked.

“Hey Kayla.” Joel tried to be nice and welcomed her into the home they used to share together.

She smiled at him, said hi to him and Tommy. She must’ve calmed down after last night, as she usually does after a spiral. “Sarah up?”

Joel shook his head, getting a few granola bars Sarah could eat for breakfast. “Naw, I let her stay up a little later with Jessica, you can wake her if you’d like, or you can hang out.” He nodded to the coffee pot. “All yours.”

“Does she know I’m coming?”

“No, she was fast asleep when I got home.”

Kayla grinned. “Great, she’ll love the surprise.” and dashed upstairs.

“She’ll love the surprise.” Joel muttered to Tommy, not looking away from his task. “But she’d love regular visits she could count on more.”

Tommy patted his back. “You’re a good man, Joel. I don’t think I’d put up with all that you did.”

But Joel just shook just head. “It’s for Sarah.”

“Most things are.” He looked up from his coffee. “Hey! I’m meeting everyone for brunch, Sex and the City style. Since Sarah’s gonna leave, why don’t you come with us?” Tommy teased Joel with a nudge. “Blue’s gonna be there.”

Joel harshly shushed Tommy, wide-eyed. He looked down the hall to check for Kayla, but heard Sarah squealing mommy up in her room. “C’mon, man, you know how she gets.”

Tommy laughed, “I know, I know!”

But he didn’t really know. Tommy didn’t know about the screaming, the threats to hurt herself, the way she smacked his chest and arms… it wasn’t hard, he was a big guy. He could handle it. It wasn’t abusive, no. He could stop her if he wanted to because he was so much stronger. It was his fault he let it happen so he can’t really complain, can he?

Kayla reappeared with Sarah. “Daddy look! Mommy’s here!”

“I see baby!” Joel feigned enthusiasm. “Mommy’s gonna take you for the weekend, gonna stay the night, isn’t that exciting?”

Sarah was beyond excited.

Setting her down, Kayla told Sarah to go put on her shoes. To her credit, she’d gotten her dressed already. She spoke to Joel quietly. “Hey, Joel, could I borrow some cash maybe? My um… my tank is almost empty, you know how prices are right now. Fucking Clinton, right?” She chuckled nervously.

Joel wanted to sigh. He saw Tommy looking at him from over his coffee mug. But… he didn’t. Instead, he opened his wallet. And grabbed a $20. “You got food there?”

She shrugged. “Enough.” Joel grabbed another bill and handed the $40 to her. “Thanks, Joel.” She turned to Sarah who had walked up with her shoes on the wrong feet. “You ready, baby?”

Joel said goodbye, hugging and kissing tight. “Be good for mama, okay princess?”

Next, Sarah ran to her uncle, who whispered loudly. ”Be bad, okay squirt?” Joel glared at him, making him carry out the bags for Sarah’s things to the car.

He spent way too long trying to find a nice shirt. In the end, he settled on a green shirt. And his only pair of jeans without holes.

When Joel saw you ride up on a motorcycle, he knew it was all over for him. The way you lit up when your eyes connected with his… fuckign hell. He remembered your eyes when you were on your knees, his cock stretching your mouth… fuck he needed to sit down before he got a hard on.

“Joel!” You run up to hug him, taking him by surprise but he hugs you anyway. Joel likes the way you are very clear about what you want. Joel didn’t have to guess or walk on eggshells. He could want you and know you wanted him too. You took his hand to the table that Talia and Tess are at, not letting go when you both slide into the both.

Everything was going great. Tommy ordered unlimited mimosas, and Joel took one single look at the prices and ordered 2 eggs and toast. And you… Joel learned more and more about you, eating up every bite.

You were a school teacher, elementary english. You loved grunge, the color blue, and horror movies, Halloween being a favorite. Right now, you were horrifying him with a scene from Candyman.

“And then he opens his shirt,” You mimic the actions minus the undress. “And his chest is just like, a cavern of bees! And he kisses her with his mouth full of bees!!”

“Bees?” Joel grimaces, and you laugh, asking if it was too much. Joel loves laughs along; with you, when you laughed, it didn’t feel like it was at him. “Well,” He chuckles. “Maybe a little graphic for brunch.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” You continue with a smirk. “Should we maybe talk about sex, like Sex and the City? Maybe you’d like to fill us in on your latest sexcapades, Miller?”

Joel coughs, choking on his coffee and you pat his back as memories of last night once again popped in.

“I’m-” Cough cough. “I think I’m good there.”

Tommy spoke up, “WELL, since you asked-” Joel told him to shut up, not to talk to a lady like that.

“You let me talk like that around Tess!”

Tess leaned over, her tone teasing. “Joel doesn’t think of me as a lady.”

This led to Joel scrambling to defend himself, which he does, actually! Joel left out the part that if he didn’t see her as a lady he wouldn’t have slept with her all those years ago. Tess is different. Tess is family.

The conversation went on, and Joel noticed how closely you sat next to him while eating your food, your jeans pressed up against his.

“Frank finally scheduled his knee surgery.” Tess mumbles with a mouth full of waffles. “After harvest, so plenty of time to rest.”

“Why not during harvest?” Talia asks. “You said he doesn’t do farm work.”

Tess stumbled on her words a moment, glancing at Joel before mumbling something about Bill needing to take care of him, even though it was pretty minor.

Joel cut her off. “She's tryna let me save face because I can’t afford a babysitter. Frank has watched Sarah every harvest and planting season since she was born, except the first plant.”

Not meaning to pry but unknowingly waltzing into sensitive territory, you ask why not the first. Joel swallows hard but Tommy answers.

“Because his bitch of an ex was still around.”

“Tommy!” Joel chastises, but Tommy looks bewildered.

“What?! She is, and you know it. She’s-”

But Joel cuts him off. “What she is is none of your business and not the point. I told you we don’t talk like that about women.”

Putting down his silverware, Tommy stared Joel down. Joel knew how Tommy felt about Kayla. “Joel, she was nuts, she turned you into someone I didn’t recognize and she left my niece alone to get f-”

“Enough!” Joel was louder than he meant to be, noticing people around them turning. Heat crept up his neck in embarrassment and shame. He didn’t like snapping at Tommy, but he especially didn’t like raising his voice in front of you. Joel wondered if he scared you, if he lost your trust and ruined everything- He felt your hand on his knee, and when he turned to look at you, he didn’t see fear, just gentle compassion. He spoke quieter now. “I understand how you feel… but that is the mother of my child, and I ask you treat her with respect.”

Tommy opened his mouth to say more, but Tess whispered to knock it off. There was silence for a while as Tommy stewed, eating his giant plate of food, stewing. Tommy’s anger problems were nothing new to Joel, but this stressed reaction Joel was having to it was. Why did his chest feel so tight?

You noticed, because of course you did, and took his hand. “Wanna step outside?” You whispered, but Joel shook his head.

“”M Alright, thanks.”

From across the booth, Tess, Talia and Tommy all talked while you and him sat on your own side. As you chatted, it felt like you were in your own world. You had a tendency to help him forget everything else.

“I think it’s so neat y’all know an older gay couple, ya know?”

He didn’t. “Howdya mean?”

You took a bite of toast. “Well, you don’t see that much. We’re just now starting to get to a point people can really come out. Then the AIDS crisis took so many…” You shake your head. “I just think when I was a gay teen, how much it would have meant to me to see a future that wasn’t about hate crimes and death, you know?”

Oh. Gay? Were you a lesbian? No, no had blown him, quite enthusiastically… Maybe you were just trying something new? Was that offensive to think? Goddammit, Joel, what is wrong with you? “Oh, are you…” He trailed off.

You laugh a little. Joel hadn’t realized the three others had gone silent, watching what was happening unfold. “Gay? Well, I guess not anymore.”

Joel was confused. “Did it… go away?” He’d been told some people grew out of it, like a phase, or that some people went to therapy to change…

You laugh again, but slightly nervous. “No… I just mean, like, I transitioned so… now I’m a woman, so it’s not gay to be attracted to men…”

Joel blinked. Transitioned? What did that mean…

You turn to Tommy. “I thought you’d told him?”

“Told me what?”

Tommy shook his head. “Hey I may be stupid, but I know not to out someone.”

Tess confirmed she hadn’t said anything and Talia looked intensely uncomfortable, asking you if you wanted to go.

“Joel… you do know I used to be a man, right?”

A flash of warmth covered his skin, eyes burning and chest tighter. He had, of course, heard of people like that… but he didn’t know the first thing about it. Did that mean you were a guy doing dress up? Was this drag? Or transvestite, is that the term? Most of all, he was confused, because he liked you. Was he gay?

“Joel?” Your voice breaking him out of his spiral. It was small, meek. Unlike anything he’d heard from you before. “Can we talk outside?”

You stood a few feet away from him, wringing your hands. He hated how you were shaking.

“Can you just…” He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I'm gonna be real honest Blue, I don’t really know what you’re talk’n about. Can you just… Tell me? Is this like a transexual thing?”

Despite the tension, you give a small laugh. “I guess people used to call it that. Or transvestite. I don’t really know if there's a difference… I think people call a lot of thing under the same umbrella, like cross dressing…”

“Is that…” He swallows. “That's what you’re do’n? You a man that likes women’s clothes?”

You shake your head vigorously. “No, no that’s not it… at least to me, I guess. Some people say that’s all I am but… I don’t think so.”

“”Please.” Joel begs, a slight huff of a laugh. “I’m just an old farmer, I ain’t never left this town, no college, no life experience. I practically raise Tommy and when he was finally grown, I had my daughter so I just…” He sighs, heavily. He’s very confused, but he doesn’t want you to think he’s disgusted or hateful. “Please just explain it so I can understand.”

You nod, looking a little hopeful. “I was born a boy, but I never felt like one. My whole life, it just felt… wrong. I can’t really explain it, but it's just this… this knowledge inside myself that my body was wrong, a gut feeling…”

A slight breeze rustled his shirt, blowing your hair around and drawing his eyes to the blue.

“So… you’re a woman?”

Once again, you nod, crossing your arms over your chest. Joel didn’t know if that was from nerves or the fall beginning to settle in. “I am. Yeah.” You take a deep breath, and exhale in a ramble of words as your eyes plead to him. “Joel I’m really sorry! I thought, I thought you knew! I met Tommy a few times with Talia and it came up so I just assumed he told you! I know you probably don’t wanna be with me but I swear, I wasn’t trying to trick you!” Your voice cracks at the end.

Concerned, Joel frowned. He didn’t know why you were shaking. He stepped forward, wanting to hold you. “Hey now, darl’n, don’t cry” But he froze when you scrambled backwards, fear in your eyes. “Whoa there… I ain’t gonna hurtcha…”

You didn’t look like you believed him, eyeing his movements. “You won’t?”

“No, oh my god no. Why would I do that? Wait, that’s stupid, I know how people are but… I ain’t like that, I promise.”

Shoulders relaxing, you appear to be calming down. “Some men… well, they get really violent if they find out the person they… they did anything with was a man…”

“That aint me, I swear it, Blue.” He shuffles his feet. “I can’t say I really understand all this but… I ain’t like that.”

He could sense your dejection from where he stood. “I understand. I won’t bug you. Again, I’m really-” You turn to leave.

His eyes went wide. “Hey, hey, hey wait-” Joel grabs your hand, but not tight. You could pull away if you want to. “Do you… do you still wanna be with me?”

You giggle softly, still looking sad. “Of course I do… Joel, I barely know you but… of course I do. But you don’t wanna be with me.”

“I didn’t say that, Blue…”

You look at him curiously. “Joel, you just found out what being trans was 2 minutes ago, are you sure you wanna be with a trans woman?”

Joel let go of your hand to rub the back of his neck, smiling. “I’ll be honest, I don’t really know if I’m ready to date at all. I got my kid,” He thumbs back to the restaurant, chuckling. “I got Tommy. It’s a lot right now. And honestly? I don’t know if this makes me gay or not but… I’d like to try to be with you… if you’re cool taking it slow.”

Looking directly at him, you smile. “I would absolutely be okay taking it slow. And, listen.” Reaching you, you take both of his hands in yours. “Would it help if we just got together and I let you just… ask whatever you wanted? Like, having a little learning session.”

“Yeah.” Breathed out a laugh. “Yeah that would be great, asking.”

It was 3 am when Tommy came stumbling home. Normally, Joel wouldn’t notice but he heard a loud crash, running downstairs with a gun to find the coffee table nocked over and Tommy trying to bake pizza bagels. After some back and forth shouting at him, it clicked.

“Jesus, Tommy, are you on coke?” He gawked in disbelief.

Tommy just laughed. “You said I couldn’t use when Sarah was around!”

“That’s not an excuse to to hard drugs the second she’s out the door! You’ve been gone since 6, what if she came home early?”

Tommy waved Joel away, putting pizza bagels in a cold oven. “She’d be fine.”

His blase attitude was pissing Joel off even more. “I don’t want you high around my daughter!”

Standing up and apparently thinking the oven was on, Tommy glared at Joel. “Relax, Joel. She ain’t here!”

Joel fisted his hand into Tommy’s shirt, voice bellowing in the kitchen. “I don’t give a shit Tommy! Don’t you ever come into my home coked up again, you understand?!” He le go and shoved Tommy away.

Half an hour later, Joel came downstairs to find Tommy crashed out on the couch. Joel took off his shoes, pulled a blanket over him and placed water by his side. He cleaned up the messed up coffee table, turned off the oven that was now on and burned bagels and locked the door again.

Blue’s POV

You were nervous, to say the least. Sure, you liked to play it cool but really, Joel scared you half to death. He was so fucking… perfect. Tess had thought you’d like him. She told you so much of his personality, you’d assumed he was ugly: hardworking, good father, responsible, loving, kind, protective… When you saw him you were dumbstruck. How is a man that good of a person and that fucking hot?

You’d just wished Tess had told him you were trans, since she was trying to set you up. Still, you understood she didn’t want to out you. Not a lot of people here knew, and you needed to keep it that way. As far as the parents and faculty at your school knew, you had been born with two tits and a vagina… okay maybe not tits but you passed a just flat chested. If anyone found out, technically they could still fire you.

Still, Joel was kind and had taken the information in stride. You didn’t think it was going to work out between you… you’d figured Joel wouldn’t but up for dating you, especially if he wanted more kids... But you suppose today would tell.

Joel looks genuinely happy to see you. “Hey, come on in.”

You’re impressed to find the house is still clean. There’s things on counters and a little mud on the floor but you like it looks lived in. Still, he obviously takes care of his house.

“I really hate to do this,” He starts and your stomach drops. “Sarah’s mom called, wanting to bring her back early, like in a few hours.”

You understood. Bringing everyone over on Friday was one thing, but bringing a women over (that wasn’t Tess) around Sarah might confuse her, and he wanted to be careful. “I totally understand.”

“You eat yet?”

You watch, smiling as Joel cooks you breakfast. “Where’s Tommy.”

Joel grunted, a slight tonal change. “Upstairs sleeping off a binge. He’s a dumbass.”

Ah, so the tension hasn’t subsided.

After eating, you and Joel sit down on the couch.

He looks as nervous as you are. “Just… stop me if I saw anything offensive.”

You shake your head. “Nothings off the table today, you can ask whatever, I just wanna be straight forward. In fact, I’m gonna go ahead and answer the question I know you have. No, I don’t have a dick.”

Joel coughed, choking a bit. “I wasn’t going to ask that!” He begins to laugh, and so do you.

“Yeah, because you’re polite, so I just said it. I got bottom surgery a few years ago.”

“What’s that?”

“They turn my dick into a vagina.”

He nods. “I’ll be honest, that is a positive.” His eyes go wide in that way you noticed he does when he thinks he’s said something wrong. “Not that- well I wouldn’t- I could… umm..”

You reassure him. “I understand, Joel. You’d have been working with whole knew equipment. I promise, this is probably what you’re used to working with. Maybe if you get lucky, one of these days you’ll get to go for a test run.” He turns bright pink, but smiles. “Your turn, go ahead.”

He took a deep breath. “Does this make me gay? I ain’t got nothing against be’n gay, I mean, Tess is my best friend and I work for two of ‘em” the phrasing there almost made you laugh. He was so clunky sometimes, but he was trying. “It’s just, I didn’t think I was.”

You shake your head. “No. I mean, some people think that but, no. I don’t think I’m a man. Do you think of me as a man?”

“Not one bit.” He was earnest.

“Then you’re not gay, Miller.”

For the next hour, he asked a lot of questions. Some were more in depth, like what transitioning looked like, or what you felt like as a child.You told him you were on E and he had lots of questions about that. You explained you hadn’t gotten top surgery, and his eyes only flicked to your chest once. Respectful cowboy. He asked if you wanted “uuhhh, you know…” breasts, and you said you honestly didn’t feel the desire for it. You liked yourself as you were right now. Some were a bit fun, like how you chose your new name or if you stopped growing facial hair.

What you loved about him was he came from a place of genuine curiosity. He wasn’t judging you, he was trying to learn. You check the clock.

“I think Sarah will be coming soon. Did you have any other questions?”

Joel thinks for a bit. You imagine he probably had a lot about between your legs, but he was too polite to ask and honestly, details of surgeries, although you were comfortable, were a lot for someone you just met, even if it felt like you knew him already.

“I don’t think so. This has been nice, actually, so… thank you.”

He walks you to the door and as you bend over to put your shoes on, you look up at him. “I’m gonna give you some time to sit on that information… if you wanna go on a date, I’d love to. If not-”

“What about friday?” He hurries out, hands in his pockets. “If I can find a sitter, I mean.”

You stand up straight, unable to stop the beaming. You feel giddy. “I’d love to. We can even go later in the evening, like after dinner so you can spend time with Sarah.”

His face falters just a bit. “I um… I should be honest. I usually don’t have this much free time. I can’t really afford a regular sitter and Kayla isn’t really around with Sarah much… so I guess I don’t really know how well this will work…”

You kiss his patchy beard cheek. “Let’s just take it one day at a time then, okay?”

Joel smiled at that. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

PRIDE EVENT TIME!!!!

love yall

i know thi doesnt get much notes but somewhere out there is a trans woman seeing this... is going to feel so fucking seen and thats what matters to me.

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boreal-sea · 10 months

Text

People calling me a "gender defender just like the patriarchy is" is fucking hilarious.

"Gender" the way I use it is so, so far from its original definition. It is the word I'm using to mean "personal identity".

I'm here for the people who don't want a gender at ALL, who want to define their personal identity WITHOUT that word. I'm here to tear the concept of gender away from the patriarchy and pull it apart into a trillion pieces. No more gender roles! No more sex stereotypes!

I want the idea of what it means to have a gender to be personally defined by every individual who wants one. I want no woman or man or non-binary person to be the same. I want the biggest, gruffest dude you've ever seen to say he's an asexual nonbinary woman, and the femmest delicate dame to say she's a bi-lesbian man. I want no one to be able to guess your sex assigned at birth just by looking at you. What's in your pants? Mystery!

I'm here for body modification, HRT, surgery, all that shit. You wanna get elf ears? Sure! You want breast implants, a full body lizard tattoo, phalloplasty, and dermal implants? Hell yes. Full bodily autonomy is what I support.

I'm here for the neopronouns and nounself pronouns and xenogenders. I'm here for people identifying with the gender euphoria of clouds and trees. Fuck, half of the time I describe myself as "masculine like a misty mountain forest". I'm forest-gender. I'm they/them like the Pando Forest (a forest of aspen "trees" that are all technically one tree). I'm he/him like the snow you see walking through the woods when there's orange skyglow everywhere. I'm "it/its" like how you call the deer you see through the trees as you hush the person you're walking with - "Shhh- do you see it? Look!“

You know who hates this kind of shit? Transphobic radfems. Transphobic gender critical feminists. I think the original trans gender abolitionists would be on board with me, but that term has been stolen by a lot of terfs, radfems, and the GCers. That's why I use "gender liberation", to differentiate myself from transphobia.

I assure you, the patriarchy does not approve of any of this shit either, and while I use the word "gender" to mean "personal identity", I promise that the things I think "gender" encompasses is in defiance of anything the patriarchy would approve of.

The patriarchy only approves of two binary genders, that are rigidly based on birth sex, and are unchangeable. They believe being male makes you strong, and being female makes you weak. Their version of gender is based on those stereotypes about birth sexes, and comes with precise roles, behaviors, and places within a social hierarchy all based on your birth sex and the traits they think that biology gives you.

Transphobic radfems, terfs, and gender critical feminists also believe in two binary sexes that are rigidly based on birth sex and are unchangeable. Some of them believe just like the patriarchy that your birth sex determines your behaviors, that males are "inherently" violent, and females are "inherently" weaker. In fact, they believe that these biological qualities are WHY men invented the patriarchy in the first place: it's baked into their biology to oppress women. That's why so many of them are female separatists or female supremacists.

That is not what I'm here for. But I sure see a whole lot in common between the patriarchy and transphobic feminists.

#gender #gender identity #personal identity #gender abolition #gender liberation #transgender #feminism #revolutionary feminism

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cebwrites · 3 months

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Hii, regarding the last ask I sent, that's completely ok! :) are you willing to do Zoro for the same scenario?

a/n: absolutely, i'd love to write more trans zoro!! >:D

T4T (Zoro)

transmasc zoro and reader word count: 0.8k

Zoro's always been sure he was a man, even when he was an insufferable little pipsqueak with dreams too big for his tiny noodle arms to carry. He insisted on his masculinity when he arrived at Koushiro's dojo, a scrappy little thing with a bound chest, no home nor parents to speak of.

He held it with pride as he fought and lost every battle to Kuina and Zoro carried the shame of it at her funeral, unable to do anything to stop her death.

Zoro's relationship with his gender has been fraught with heartache and peril, the way he believes a man should live. Though as he grows up and meets other people, witnesses softer but equally as powerful displays of masculinity, he starts to change.

By the time he joins the Strawhats and presumably meets you, he still carries the weight of unshed burdens - Zoro sees it as his duty as first mate to protect his nakama, to make sure nothing stands in the way of Luffy's dreams. He's unsure of how to interact with you at first, only knowing the gender binary - it's stilted and awkward, and he definitely slips up a few times but you take it in stride and he's grateful for that.

The way you bounce off each other is why you work so well as a couple, Zoro knows you'll check him whenever he messes up and vice versa. You're patient with one another, Zoro's proud to call you his partner (even if he messed up along the way).

Despite the trust that you have in each other, it's the progress that Zoro's made that's part of why you're hesitant to tell him about the conclusions that you've come to about yourself.

He's worked so hard to understand you up until this point, wouldn't coming out again throw that all away?

You worry your lip and confide in Robin one night as she catches you pacing the crow's nest during watch, though she has to gently prod you for an answer, you spill your concerns pretty quickly with just a little more pressure.

You're scared - happy where things are with Zoro, you're his perfect half, his partner, and more than anything you don't want any of that to change just because of one small thing you could probably do without anyway. Robin comforts you the best she can, she knows it's a tough situation and does her best to assuage your worries.

In the morning, Sanji's the first to see the two of you come down, tear stains down your cheeks and a weary look in your eyes. He doesn't question it, just puts on his best smile and pours all his love into making your favorite for breakfast like he always does.

After the chaos that is the Strawhat's first meal of the day, you tell Robin quietly a little later that you plan to talk to Zoro about it tonight, she squeezes your hand in reassurance as the Sunny drops anchor at Sabaody Archipelago.

You don't see Zoro for another two years.

You spend more time apart than you've been together but your heart aches for his company, to see him just one more time. You have faith in your captain but more than anything you yearn to tell Zoro the truth, it's eating you up like nothing else.

Wherever you end up, no matter how you try to quiet your mind with training or other activities, your thoughts always drift back to what his reaction would be. Would he leave you? Would he be angry at being "lied" to?

...Would he be happy to have a "normal" boyfriend now, relieved that you aren't something in-between?

You get your answer when you find Zoro napping in a giant clam on Sabaody when the Strawhats were scheduled to meet again. Belongings and bags still strapped to you like they'd be blown away by the unforgiving sea breeze, you launch yourself at Zoro, winding your poor one-eyed boyfriend. Of course, you fuss over that too.

He's the first to arrive and you're not long after, so for the first couple of days you just spend time together, catching up on long-overdue affection even though neither of you were that huge on PDA before, now you're Sabaody's No. 1 lovey dovey couple.

It's in the privacy of a bubble hotel where you share a meal with Zoro that your truth comes to light, avoiding eye contact with him in lieu of staring into the supposed soul of your soggy potato pancakes instead. His response is a simple, "ok."

Okay???

When you look up to gawk at him, searching his face for answers, all Zoro does is cock his head to one side and ask if you're alright. When you ask if he's really okay with this, he asks why wouldn't he be in return and wipes his mouth off on his sleeve so he can kiss your cheek.

You want to scream, you might just cry, you want to shake him for being such a good boyfriend and making you worry for nothing. Two years without you and this man accepts what you've felt is a world-ending change with what amounted to a verbal thumbs up.

You settle for taking a nap together out on the grass instead.

#cebwrites #one piece #one piece zoro #roronoa zoro #zoro #op zoro #pirate hunter zoro #zoro x r #zoro x male reader #zoro x y/n #zoro x you #zoro x reader #zoro x transmasc reader #trans zoro

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blairelythere · 1 year

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Hi!.... I just wanted to ask, how did you know you were enby? You see I was born afab in a very Conservative country and only recently started to question my gender and sexuality after moving to Europe. I figured out I am asexual pretty quickly but I still don't know where I would put myself on the gender spectrum. Like I am pretty traditionally feminine, so I don't necessarily mind the she/her pronouns, but at the same time they also feel like something outside of myself you know? I can't put that feeling into words and I don't know if that necessarily means I am non binary but how do I recognise if it is? I just feel confused sometimes because it does not feel debilitating in the way a lot of trans people describe their experience so does that mean it's not real? I am not sure what my next steps should be so I thought to ask an Internet stranger who is experienced in this😅. Also sorry for the rant I have adhd so I'm all over the place sometimes.

The amazing, beautiful thing about being Non-binary is that it is a challenge to all of conformity.

There is nothing that anybody can say, do, or diagnose to interpret your "validity." She/her, hyperfemme? He/they, bro dude? They/them, androgynous gender fuck? All valid enbys.

But here is the real takeaway: This applies to the entire gender spectrum. You do not need to go through some kind of checklist that ends with a "Yes you are" and "No you aren't".

What you'll find is that anyone thats looking for "proof" in who you are won't believe or support you no matter what you say. They have appointed themselves the gatekeeper. It's plain and simple bigotry.

Presentation =/= Gender

Pronouns =/= Gender

HRT & Dysphoria =/= Gender

Be who you want to be, because that's who you are. Fuck anyone that ever tries to limit you from finding that happiness.

#askdemonium #196 #trans #nonbinary #lgbtq

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decolonize-the-everything · 6 months

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calling lesbians who aren't okay with "trans men lesbians" radfems is weird as hell when "trans men are just confused lesbians" IS a widespread radfem stance. if you support them whatever but it's disingenuous to act like lesbians who don't want to date trans men are radfems for that

I think policing relationships and gender and such in the queer community is genuinely one of the worst things that's happened to us in the last 20 years.

I think if you're attracted to someone or not then ok? That's it. Period.

Who cares how they identify or the words they use?

"lesbophobia"

Give me a fucking break. Show me the trans man killing lesbians. Trying to get lesbian relationships to be criminalized? To have them removed from the queer community?

You can't. Because it's not trans men doing that. It's TERFs.

"they're invading our spaces!"

Oh like a hypothetical evil cis man would invade a bathroom by pretending to be a woman?

I said radfem-lite lite for a reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We made up a bunch of rules for how the Other person you're attracted to identifies and then moralized it and made DNIs and started calling queer people"-phobic" based on Your own ideas of gender/relationships (good job creating a more inclusive shitty binary with rules btw) and acting like everyone who doesn't agree with Your rules and ideas is some queerphobic enemy is fucking wild.

The whole point of queerness is simply that we aren't allo cishets. That we're different. And it's something we ALL experience so we're supposed to be understanding. That sometimes people WONT have the same concept of gender as you, the same rules and that's okay. We are a community because understand each other on that. We agree and have that solidarity because we ALL experience this from people who believe that binary can NOT allow for trans people or queer relationships.

I will literally Never ever agree with anyone who disagrees any of this. They're no ally of mine or the queer community. You are wildly accepting of your siblings or you have some queerphobia to work on.

Believe whatever the hell you want but to say Specific queer people are "invading" your space is also just fucking ahistorical. For a long time lesbian was the only word even used if you presented as a woman and liked people who presented as women. Did you know that? Who cares if you were a man or woman or trans or a gender?

If you feel like how someone ELSE identifies undermines your own identity then welcome to the Same Exact reason that homophobic and transphobic straights are homophobic and transphobic!!

We make them question gender and relationships in ways that make them uncomfortable. That make them question their own relationship to gender itself. And nobody is supposed to do that. You're supposed to follow the rules. Girls aren't supposed to kiss girls. And nobody is supposed to want to transition.

And so just like we tell them, I will tell you: if there is no harm being done, then there's no foul. Mind your own business instead of worrying about someone else's.

Some lesbians having the same struggle to accept this as allo cishets do, does not mean that they are being attacked and persecuted by trans man lesbians anymore than cishet women are being persecuted by fake trans people.

Can we please be over this now?

We get enough shit from straight people trying to regulate gender, we truly do not need reinvent the same fucking dynamic in our own community.

#asked #answered #queer #lgbtqia2s

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chriscassarcentral · 4 months

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I had a new follower on my hobby blog that stated “radfem sympathizer”, which my first reaction is to become a question mark, thinking “I guess maybe they didn’t see enough of my blog or fics to realize that ideology does not sympathize at all with mine”, shocked me so much I had double check into their blog if somehow I’m not reading wrong their bio, but nope I did see stuff that confirmed they agree with stuff that made my figurative hackles rise. Like, you know, invalidating trans women, trans “ideology”, or the inclusion of intersex people in the community.

There was one thing, however, that made me pause, because it raised a point I never thought deeper into, which has a certain irony because they accuse of not thinking deeper into something, but it’s their post that personally made me think deeper into it and think of counter argument. Which, you know, is opposite of what the post meant to do since supposedly they’re proving we can’t state two specific things at the same time (while using a trans woman as example, because of course that's going to be their target).

So the post in question criticize supposedly double thinking that doesn’t make sense, where you can’t state “gender is a social construct” at the same time as stating you are trans (or in this case, trans woman). That if you state the first thing, you’re supposedly “a man who likes to dress feminine, since gender is performative according to you”, and if you state the second thing, you’re “a woman in nature and it’s not performative/a construct”. What made me pause isn’t that I agreed, but that I realized I personally hadn’t thought about the nuance between the inherent feeling of your gender, and the aspect that is purely socially constructed.

Note that, obviously, this is what I feel like, it was a bit hard to word but I hope it’s expressed well enough. I realized that the statement “gender is a social construct”, for me, relates to the expectations others have about each gender, whereas the statement you personally make about how you feel about your gender, it’s just you expressing how you feel.

In other words, gender is an identity, the way you inherently feel about yourself, however gender has been given a social construct when we were weighed under expectations of how you are supposed to dress like, behave, etc depending on who you feel you are. To be specific, the social construct aspect of gender started as placing expectations on each newborn based on whether they were considered born masculine or feminine, then when the community made us aware of the rights of people who aren't cis, the social construct still remains lurking because it still places expectations on what you’re supposed to wear, be like, etc depending which gender you express your identity to be.

For example: expecting non-binary people to appear androgyn is a type of social construct since others expect people of a certain gender to “perform” a certain way to “fit” their perception of what the gender identity is. Another example: expecting trans women to be feminine is a type of social construct, as again, other people expect them to “perform” feminine. Not all people who have expectations mean ill, or might realize it, and it can be hard when you do realize it and try to not place expectations. Because for many generations our societies have placed expectations so it’s kind of hard programmed into us to expect all sorts of things. It’s a matter of recognizing all of that, and working to self-check, recognize that people of any identity can express themselves in any way they want.

So yeah, my conclusion is how “gender is a social construct” is a statement about others (the expectations others have of how each gender is supposed to be like is what “social construct” means), whereas gender identity and gender expression is all about you, and only you: who you feel you are inherently, and how you wish to personally express this. And how you wish you express who you are should not be limited in any way, you are who you are no matter what.

On a side topic: I do believe people can take time to figure out their identity, in large part due to all the social expectations, however the experiences of individuals does not invalidate the experience of others. For example, someone who realize they might not be cis, and identify as trans, yet later realizes they aren’t trans and are cis, does not invalidate all the people who are genuinely trans or “prove” anything in regards to this “just being a phase” or “just cis people trying to escape social construct”. This can be the real experience of cis people where they are uncertain, and I dare say it’s specifically because they spend time identifying as trans they were able to affirm they weren’t trans, and if they were never allowed to do this, they would have stayed uncertain. Still, ending up returning to identifying as cis doesn’t invalidate people who identity as trans and never change that, the same way never changing your identity doesn’t invalidate people who do end up changing the way they identity as.

So yeah, I didn’t expect myself to make a post like this today, but hey, I guess the timing is perfect, right? Happy Pride to all of you, whether allies or part of the community, closed or out, remember that your personal feelings of who you are and your experiences are valid, and how you want to express yourself is for you to choose!

#pride month #gender identity #gender expression #trans women are valid #trans people are valid #(placing the tags that relate the most to my post but)#(all of you my siblings are valid!!)

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