#but at least it was something about people with fucking personalities for once!! people with PROBLEMS!!

[charcubed]

Okay in the genuinely least shady way possible and not trying to start a debate here: I understand the wider point OP is making but I also, personally, feel insane when I see posts about this topic phrased in this way lmaaaoooo

“queerbait tv”

???????

What, supposedly, was “queerbait TV”?

[Rhetorical question. I can rattle off the list of shows people would probably reply with, and yet I'd also probably insist that each of them is vastly different and should be viewed through a unique lens rather than compared to the others because no 2 situations are alike]

Because what this post is describing (and what some people are even understanding in the notes of it) is subtext. These discussions are often really about subtext and queercoding and thematically compelling narratives!! That’s what’s described here and it’s what people – or at the very least me personally – desperately crave!!

And look, I’m obviously not saying that advocating for gay people being openly explicitly represented on TV was or is a bad thing. Of course that’s important, whether the gay people are going on healthy dates or killing for each other lmao.

But for God's sake... this is why my repetitive rant and personal hot take is that we need to abolish the word "queerbaiting." It's done so much damage in this regard and it doesn't even fucking mean anything of consistent substance or value at this point, if it ever properly did. Once upon a time and only briefly, "queerbaiting" was intended as an accusation that corporate marketing and false advertising were deliberately being used with the intent to increase viewership of a show with no explicit follow-through or validation of queerness within the story itself. It was a type of pinkwashing for ads about TV shows – something that was actually pretty rare in the grand scheme, to be honest – not about the writing or execution of a story itself. But that potential meaning for a very specific thing quickly became entirely lost, and now the use of the word "queerbaiting" is literally just about vibes. You'd be hard-presssed to get even 10 random people to define it the same way. And more often than not, using "queerbaiting" is about derogatory vibes specifically thrown in the direction of devaluing subtext or deriding creators for whatever a fan personally considers to be a failure, disappointment, subtlety (or even too-slow burn) in a story's writing.

[Btw OP, if you're reading this, I'm really not trying to make an aggressive accusatory example out of your singular use of the word here lmao. I apologize if it feels that way. I'm working up to a point]

At the end of the day, so much of these recent takes about boring gay people on TV or ~queerbait hits harder~ route back to how, in the (still worthwhile!) pursuit of explicit representation and the implicit assumption that it's always the Best, somewhere along the way people got it in their brains that subtext and queercoding deserved vilification as the Worst. And that became the loud and prevailing opinion. Of course a lot of that also stems from personal hurt, anger, or disappointment by past TV shows which is all obviously understandable... but that's why people cling to the simplicity of the word “queerbaiting” as an umbrella anytime something's upsetting, and the accusation is often hurled with misplaced ire at creators.

Ultimately in some ways the concept of subtext became synonymous with "not good enough," and in other ways it came to be seen as something cowardly or malicious that creators put into stories to tease, bait, and disappoint fans. Nuance got lost, as well as the understanding that subtext/queercoding exist at all because they're tools used to tell (or enrich!) stories despite interference, constraints, and censorship – obstacles which have never fully gone away.

So we've ended up here: the need for whatever constitutes Good Representation – an endlessly shifting goalpost – and room for little else. The fear of all the ways stories can hurt and the advocacy for avoiding that hypothetical or potential hurt. The "all or nothing" mentally where if a ship isn't canon in the way someone personally deems acceptable – or in a way where every straight person on the planet will miraculously, mythically accept it's queer – then the story has Caused Harm and therefore doesn't have much value or can't be queer. And the overall cultural framing that subtext only exists when creators are too cowardly to do something more, rather than possibly as a creative choice to add complexities or a byproduct of censorship or both.

I find it all pretty fucked and exhausting to witness.

So, judging by [gestures broardly] the hamster wheel of bullshit out there and specifically the high note count on this post...

Here's where I land, as always:

I truly believe so many people and fandoms would free themselves if they realized that “queerbaiting” as a term is mostly bullshit, and as a concept the fear of Being Baited often robs people of finding joy and meaning in stories on their own merit. And I think they'd also free themselves a bit if they learned, understood, and acknowledged that subtext and queercoding are forms of canon. They're canon and they "count." Explicit queer storytelling is important for all the reasons we all implicitly know and understand, and of course we want to see sweeping epic character arcs reach the natural loudly queer conclusions we and the characters often deserve. But even if a story doesn't have that or get that, if you see and understand it's queer, that's still enough in its own way. It still has value, and you don't need permission or validation from anyone else to maintain that to yourself or to others.

Final apology to OP for hijacking their post. And maybe the TL;DR is I genuinely am "advocating for a return to queerbait TV" – or rather the sorts of storytelling and subtext people too often derogatorily slap with the "bait" label, past or present. Maybe people should think a little more about how stories like that were and still are good as well as often legitimately queer... and examine why there's often an implication that they're somehow not.

I am genuinely not advocating for a return to queerbait tv, I was vocally against it the whole time it was happening that was like my whole shtick for a while but it is kind of wild that when gay people weren’t allowed on tv, gay characters (who weren’t allowed to be gay) would be drinking poison for each other and killing bad guys for each other romantically and offering to go to prison in each other’s place and now that we are allowed to have gay people on tv…gay people will just be having a healthy conversation and going going on a date like normal people. Get OUT of my face with that

[mimikoolover]

i’m a kookmin truther but how is the heart km photo more sus than possibly jk back hugging a woman? appearing to be teasing her where it doesn’t look totally platonic at all?

my belief is whether kookmin is STILL dating right now, at the very least kookmin fooled around more than once and their dynamic and relationship deserve some eyebrow raising if they’re seeing other people while doing the things they are doing.

however, it really boggles my mind when kookminers totally act like there’s nothing sus about those videos. it’s one thing to think that man wasn’t jk but to acknowledge it MIGHT be him, then you should also be more honest.

I genuinely think it was him. I cope by thinking that we had a vague timeline, although we have an idea given the hairstyle that man had. I cope by believing JK and Jimin tried to date, broke up, see other people and whatever they are doing months before enlisting.

I always held onto the belief that they have such a peculiar relationship. That if something is truly going on, good for them and for me, as i can say I’m not surprised. However, if in this universe they never truly “officially” dated, i would have so many questions and i definitely feel bad about their significant others.

i think in your mind him being in a straight relationship is automatically more realistic. imo you can't infer anything sus from the video because they're not kissing or even sitting on the couch cuddling. jungkook is quite a playful person i assume with everyone so back hugging isn't that sus. if you remember (you may not) the picture of him with the tattoo artist, he was back hugging her too so...you could argue that was sus? if he took a pic like the heart arch pic with a woman, would you think that was more sus than the video or not? i think for all of us thinking objectively is hard because what we feel will be influenced by our internal biases and how we think about jikook too. but it's not like i /want/ jikook to date each other. i'm fine with whatever they are. i'm not fighting you on your opinion for that reason. if i'm honest one of the reasons why i think the video wasn't sus is because he went on to deny having a gf right after the leak which i'm pretty sure was the truth, given his don't give a fuck attitude in 2023, i doubt he would have denied it if it were true, especially as that has not happened before (with the tattoo artist). so maybe he dated her earlier and not by the time he denied it but idk.

peculiar is the right word but tbh i don't think either of them had a significant other you'd have to feel sorry for, as in even if they were casually seeing other ppl i don't think it ever got very far (so far). if it did i think jikook may have 'cooled off' from each other especially jungkook cause he seems (again just my perception of him) very dedicated to the person he loves given how he's followed jimin around like a puppy, complained about not spending time with him etc. he would quite happily be with jimin 24/7 so if that were his S/O i bet they'd get at least this level of sole dedication.

funnily i think about the content of your ask quite a lot...i also think it's interesting that this topic only comes up concerning jungkook and not 'sus' things about jimin that tbh i don't even bother looking into but saw a bit about back in the day (that actress posting from his place or whatever?).

there are a lot of things (gossip) about jikook and all members of bts, like any other celebs but tbh i made peace with not ever really knowing for sure. when liam payne died and it came out he lied about having kidney issues to cover up going to rehab, for some reason that really stuck with me (in addition to him hiring 2 sex workers before he died...) like we don't know celebs lol i will say with bts, i don't think they do stuff in secret that will disappoint us or be scandalous. but i can see jikook dating each other and them also not dating each other, i guess when we get confirmation of either we still won't know any details. so to me it doesn't make that much of a difference what i think about this all lol.

[peterm4rker]

BLUE'S CORNER !!

how happy it makes me to get tagged in these things is not even funny, but yeah ! i don't have many works to do this with, but i did my best !

FIRST FIC OF 2024 !!

ᯓ ¿donde está la biblioteca? [zhong chenle] — september 9th, 2024.

my first ever post and my absolute baby. this smau is completely self indulgent and was brewing in my head for so long before i actually decided to post it (i was terrified). i'm forever grateful for the people that encouraged me to put it out there !! it helped me find a community that i hold so dearly to my heart now, and i will love them forever !!

LAST FIC OF 2024 !!

ᯓ can't help falling [kim jaehee] — december 29th, 2024.

my first post that isn't nct dream !! i have to say that it is one of my favorite fics i've ever written, and it is also completely self indulgent. jaehee has owned my heart since lastart, and i think he (and nct wish in general) deserve way more love and recognition so i hope i can be part of that !!

LONGEST FIC !!

ᯓ can't help falling [kim jaehee] — 3.7k words.

i'm counting this one because i don't think the smaus count so... i have kind of a hard time writing long fics because i have a nonexistent attention span, but i'm working on it !! i hold this fic very close to my heart and i hope that all of you like it as much as i do !!

MOST POPULAR FIC !!

ᯓ from the rooftops [mark lee]

its not a written fic, but it is my most popular one. you all knew i couldn't be me without writing a spidermark fan fiction, and i'm very happy that so many people like it !! i'm taking this fic to next year, so hopefully it will continue receiving as much love as it has till now.

PERSONAL FAVORITE !!

ᯓ the stich that stole christmas [lee donghyuck]

this was haechan's peterm4rker debut and part of a christmas collaboration i did with my self (@tmrwsuns btw wink). i have to say i'm a very big christmas person even though i don't really celebrate it, so writing something for who i have the biggest soft spot for was my way to share that with all of you. i genuinely enjoyed thinking of it, writing it and i'm super happy with how you guys welcomed it, so overall it's my baby !!

i couldnt choose to put them in the banner because i simply adore them all. although i started posting fairly recently, i have at least one fic planned for each of the units and i will continue to write about all of them !! still, i needed to choose my top three, and i think no one will be surprised.

ONE. mark lee — 15,200 words + full length smau.

mark is my everything. the obsession i have with him is a little unhealthy at this point, but i love it and i don't care. to be completely honest, i sometimes have a hard time making my fics not be about mark, because he genuinely is in my head every second of every day. find him in: from the rooftops , wondering why , little white lie.

TWO. zhong chenle — 9,647 words + full length smau.

the fucker who started the peterm4rker industry. i love love love chenle (i despise him), even if he has moved second to mark over time... and yes, i counted the words of the written chapters and so what. find him in: ¿donde está la biblioteca?

THREE. kim jaehee — 3,703 words.

have i posted him literally once? yes, but he has the highest word count out of everyone i've only posted once. i love him so deeply that i could talk about him for hours, so i'm thinking i shut up before i bore all of you. find him in: can't help falling

@morkiee

the love i have for this little person is not something i can explain in words i think. i enjoy every second when we talk and i have to literally contain myself from exploding at how fucking adorable you are. you make my days better every time you text me and i hope you never forget that. my rave date and my pookie, i'm forever grateful to have you in my life<3

@lyvhie

MY BABY MY WIFE MY EVERYTHING !! i cannot express how much i fucking adore you and how grateful i am that i met you (even if it took us about 289843 years). thank you for always listening to my voice messages even when they're about 5 minutes long of me complaining about a MAN (it's soooo over) and for literally making my life better every day<3

@sinisxtea

oh hey i love you? i'm so incredibly grateful that i texted you (or did you text me?) because you opened the doors to this beautiful little community for me. thank you for always including me and showing me your freaky ass fics, even when all you have is a picture of a man falling through a ceiling. you fr are the wonhyuk to my wonjun (stan e'last please guys)<3

@yizhrt

one of the sweetest people i've encountered here even when we don't really speak much !! you're so cute and funny, and i always think of you because i have this brazilian hair cream called lola... i've been meaning to send you a pic for so long but i'm embarrassed so please bear with me.

@leejenoenthusiast

i literally adore you !! you're so fucking funny and always so supportive of all my works, i'm always happy whenever i see your name on anything !! i promise i will continue to send you pictures of woozi whenever it comes to mind<3

@neozon3nha

have we spoken much? no. do i still love you whole heartedly? yes. like i'm sooo fr when i tell you that i always get sooo happy when i see your user name on my screen like i'm literally cheering internally !!

@yutarot

i haven't spoken to you in SO long (i'm omw to text you when i'm done with this) but still i want you to know that you have a very special place in my top moots !! you've never been anything but kind and encouraging to me, so thank you for everything !!

@nlovesbjh

we just started talking very recently but i think you're really sweet and funny !! i'm glad we can share our delusions to each other, and i hope we can get to know each other better <3

some people i'd love to know better but i'm way too embarrassed to reach out to:

@viasdreams @strrykais @susicheng @wonbin-truther @sunghoonsgfreal @yoshit-he-dinosaur

i'm sorry for randomly tagging you !! i hope we can be closer in the future <3 (im shaking in my boots rn)

© peterm4rker, 2024

[froidefille]

Day 24: Holiday (vacation)

📚 Grounds for Divorce by @tepre

Draco/Harry, 122 k, E

Summary:

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter. A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

Guys, this fic. THIS FIC.

Is not a vacation fic per se, but they do find themselves in Luxor and do some vacation-adjacent activites, so I hope it counts. The way Tepre describes the city made me want to go to Egypt ASAP. The people, the scents, the views, the climat. Hypnotising.

Guys, it’s a bonding fic. And such a refined one too. The backstories of both Draco and Harry's families are so well developed they could be the subject of another two books at least. The angst. The hurt. The jealousy. The pining. The mis-fucking-understatements. The unresolved sexual tension. And then the resolved sexual tension. It’s just all here and it’s absolutely off the charts. Oh, and it was also my candidate for day 27. Just FYI 🥵😇

This is one of the fics that you cannot believe it is not a novel sold in bookstores and analysed in English Lit classes. The way it explores Harry's background has just become canon in my head, it was so special to read!

There’s also this unbelievable art by @zigster-ao3. There’s even the most touching MUSIC THEME by @bettydice. There’s the most perfect bind by @sits-bound. There’s a superb book cover by @zeziliazink (I am actually pretty sure all of the above made me move this fic a bit higher on my TBR list. I can’t thank you enough 😭). Somehow, there’s no podfic? Why? Can someone please fix this state of things?

I’ve inhaled read it once on my phone and then reread it once again on my kindle just so I could highlight some of the literary genious lines. Have a look under the cut and then go sing high praises to Godesses of Fanfiction via kudos and comments <3

Thank you @hprecfest for this prompt, it was lovely to include this theme in the recs!

And thank you @tepre for sharing your stories with us!

🌴🧭🍋🌅📜

Harry wanted to disappear into the feeling of Draco’s teeth on his lip. The feeling of his thigh between Harry’s legs, of his rolling thrusts, of Draco’s hip against his cock, of Draco’s own hardness pressing into him through a thin layer of fabric. Can you want something more in the process of having it, he wondered, vaguely, and Draco panted against his wet mouth — chin damp, red from Harry’s stubble — and said in a voice that was more sand than words, “If— You can’t leave. You can’t die on me, you can’t—” “I’m not. I won’t. I—”

*melting into the gound*

“Jesus,” Draco said. Harry’s habit in his mouth.

So simple, yet so telling. Did you know that when someone copies your way of saying things or mimics you in conversation, it often happens unconsciously and you can take it as a completent. Because it means this person likes it and most probably likes you.

Just a fun fact, not me getting emotional about it, nope

Draco had stopped breathing. His mouth was open, his jaw cocked, his face aflame. Harry wanted him. Wanted him desperately, in that moment. Wanted to take him from the world, from its small distractions and pointless conversations. Wanted to give him something better.

Is that not the most romantic sentence ever???

The freckle from last summer was back, a faint little dot high on Draco’s cheekbone. Draco stirred when Harry leaned close to kiss it. He turned to his other side, grabbing one of Harry’s hands to take with him — wrapping Harry’s arm around himself, tucking it to his chest. Harry hid his face to the jut of Draco’s spine, to the messy tangle of his hair, and tried to breathe through the tight squeeze of his heart. Breathe through the terrifying space that had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and settled behind his chest as though it had always been there. A room of requirement, waiting for someone to call it by its name.

A room of requirement, waiting for someone to call it by its name.

😭😭😭

Harry looked at him, at a loss for what to say. How could love be proven in the span of a sentence? How could he use words, slippery things that they were, when what he needed was to tread carefully, lightly? He only knew how to walk through a wall. He only knew how to fall, how to crash.

Ladies and Gentelmen, Harry J. Potter, my favourite human disaster </3

He had spent the last three years watching this man come into his own, and who would not find love in that? In seeing someone learn the steps to a dance, then move across the floor with confidence? In seeing someone try on a garment perfectly made for them, in seeing them discover a good flavour, a soft touch?

This sentence right here. Oh man, it is just so raw and true, watching someone you care about grow and become who they are meant to be is just the most exceptional experience :')

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : 2x03 A Bee In Your Bonnet (Part 2)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Pall Mall Intro

It's Bridgerton family game night (or day), and I could easily watch an entire episode of just this. The Pall Mall sequence is one of the most memorable sequences of any of the books (imo) -- and I love that they adapted it so wonderfully here. You really get that sense that this is a family, and the competitiveness that deviates from that.

I also really love that Daphne gets a moment to break down her siblings'' playing style. Benedict is laidback. Eloise is cutthroat against her brothers. And Colin is sneaky... and will strike when you're least expecting. Which is an interesting observation.

I think Colin is actually a rather competitive person (we saw this somewhat earlier during the fencing sequence but also - he's got two older brothers, that dynamic breeds competition -- I speak from experience). But more interestingly is that he's sneaky. The boy is always thinking, and more aware than some people give him credit for. And he definitely will strike when you're least expecting. ;)

Modiste

Meanwhile, back in Mayfair, Penelope is watching her mother snap at Madame Delacroix as they attempt to make Prudence more appealing. Penelope's quite nervous - as she's sure Genevieve knows her secret.

(As an aside - I want to talk about how cute Penelope looks here. Sure, her dresses are still an unflattering shade of yellow, but her hair is super cute, and she looks adorable in this scene.)

Portia isn't getting the results she wants so she straight up states she's going to the new modiste which -- effectively gets her and Pru out of the way so Penelope can have a convo with Genevieve. And here's where Penelope's inexperience goes against Genevieve's more experience outlook on life.

Penelope is nervous, and shaking, and making up lies about ripping her bodice and needing to head into shadier parts of town to get things fixed. Genevieve plays coy and being someone who probably knows that women need to keep their secrets, can tell Penelope is hiding something, but isn't one to coax it out of her. She reassures Penelope as much, and Pen feels much more comfortable with the knowledge that she, if nothing else, has someone she can trust in the world.

Penelope, however young she is, isn't stupid, and an idea begins to percolate... Girl is not only a writer but a business entrepreneur and opportunist as she recognizes she could use Genevieve's help - as well as help out the modiste with her own issues.

Fun and Games

First of all, one of the reasons I love this sequence, as well as Bridgerton itself - if I'm being honest, is that it gets sibling dynamics right. I love all the arguing, the bringing up of past competitions, the squabbling over mallets and order of operations. It's just so good and delicious, and really sometimes I wish this show was more about the family interaction than the romances but whatever, I know that's just me.

Secondly! Colin's. Hand. Is. On. The. Yellow. Mallet. Is this coincidence? This show doesn't fuck around with coloring. And it's a damn bright shade of yellow he picks up. I mean, he's also wearing a yellow vest. Coincidence, I think not. (I do wonder whose idea it was, though.)

I also need to point out that there's a sunny, yellow mallet (which Colin takes) but also a golden yellow one that Eloise takes. Fascinating, right? Colin's not the only one who ends up entrenched with Featherington colors. :)

I kind of love that during the squabble over the mallets, Colin completely undermines Anthony in front of Kate - reminding him that Anthony once threated to beat him last time he dared touch the mallet of death. It's indeed said not only as a humorous sibling recounting, but also as a way to shade Anthony for Kate's sake. Be that little chaos seeker, Colin, I encourage you!

Look, Colin is always going to follow the rules and be the gentleman. Unless he doesn't give a fuck and wants to work things to his advantage. He's sneaky like that. (And I love that element of Colin - that you may miss if you're not paying close enough attention.)

Btw - the moment everyone lunges for the mallets cracks me up every single time. I love it.

There is a small beat at the end of this scene when as the camera pans out, you see Colin take a swing of his mallet and the music swishes and punctuates at the exact same moment. It's a brilliant scoring beat. I LOOOVE a good scoring moment. I encourage all of you to go back and watch the scene and look for it.

Colin is such a dope.

But no, this is the important thing. Like this dorky, weirdo, having fun with his siblings and loving it, antagonizing them, being ridiculous and dorky dude. This is Colin. And it's good to remember this now because THIS Colin is the one Penelope fell in love with. Colin himself is going to think this guy isn't enough and is going to change to NOT be this guy anymore. But THIS IS WHO HE IS. At heart, this is Colin.

Even as he does grow up and change and tries not to be this ridiculous, this version of Colin will always be there in some compacity.

Fun aside, because why not, apparently Luke Newton is terrible at Pall Mall as per Luke Thompson (man, I wish I remember what interview this was brought up in) and via this cute little interview shared with Nicola Coughlan. [As said with the utmost love, y'all know that, right? ;)]

Alright, enough clowning around, it's back to serious times. C'mon Benedict, we need to do something other than stand in the background together making funny faces at Anthony.

Here's the other thing about Colin. He's incredibly empathetic. He can tell Benedict isn't being his usual self, and although he keeps up the spirited competition by making a great shot (notice it's a cut shot and we don't actually see Luke do this -- lol, I'm gently teasing) he still takes Benedict's uneasiness seriously.

Benedict admits to sending an application to art school. Colin is immediately excited for him (see, siblings be supportive, too) but Benedict is unsure about himself, and says it's nothing like Colin and his ambitious tour. Which is a fascinating role switch for a moment, as Colin is going to be the one feeling lost and without purpose for, well, all of this season. Colin's still going to be supportive, though of his brother.

Sometimes Colin embodies a good bro-moment. This is one of them. :)

Obligatory - between the legs - joke of your choice here.

I feel like this is another caption-contest worthy snapshot.

Kate's totally into the spirit of the game, and all for besting Anthony. Colin jokes that it wouldn't be very sportsman like if she were to get in Anthony's way, but (as we all know) Kate is all about besting Anthony. It's kind of fascinating to watch Colin's reaction shots. He's completely amused by Kate and her antics, and is keeping an eye on the dynamics going on.

So, there's a very quick blink-and-you-miss-it moment between Colin and Anthony; where after Edwina has shot her ball into the bushes and decides to head out, Colin signifies to Anthony with a subtle head nod to go try to fix it.

I know I said Colin is a dope earlier (and, I stand by that), his empathy and intuition remains on display. He may be dorky and ridiculous, but he is not unaware (most of the time - the whole Penelope thing is -- just something else entirely.) As Daphne says, he'll always strike when you're least expecting.

And strike he does as he promptly, taking his turn to whack Kate's ball into the bushes with Anthony's. Is this the act of a conniving player? Is this Colin actually really invested in the Kanthany romance? Or is Colin just the most chaotic-neutral player on the board?

I mean, it's your choice, dear reader. Maybe it's all three. :)

He is so very cheeky about it - stating they should go fetch their balls or quiet. Their choice.

Colin Agent of Chaos

With Anthony and Kate trapsing off to go play in the mud, that about wraps up for our Pall Mall game. Ever a delight. :)

[thewardenisonthecase]

btw tw for talking about abuse

I've seen a lot online about how the game never mentions Caterina's abuse of Lucanis while he was growing up (being beaten and starved, which is mentioned in the Wigmaker Job) and I think there's a small mention to it if you're a crow (when asked, he says it was torture training under the first talon and that he resented her for a long time)

And while I do think part of the reason why this isn't brought up is just due to how sanitized this game is when it comes to the crows, I think I do understand why in world wise it's not possible to just be like hey lucanis, fuck your grandma.

It's really hard, loving someone who hurts you. Because you know they're hurting you and yet, you still love them. It's even harder when they're family.

Because its not like Lucanis doesn't know that she hurt him. He says so himself - he hated her, he resented her, and althought I do think him 'justifying' it by saying that at least it prepared him for the life of a crow, at least he still admits that it happened.

But the thing is that despite all this shit, she's still his grandmother. And like, yes, blood shouldn't excuse justifing this behaviour, I feel like it's cultural. Idk how spain or italy works when it comes to family, but here in brazil, you'll hear so many stories of physical abuse happening in families, and its still a situation like Lucanis - i hate them, i resent them, i love them, they're my family.

It's a...complicated situation and I think Lucanis's situation is made worst by the fact that he only has two family members alive and that he cannot let go of.

She beat him, she starved him, he hated and resented her, and he was afraid of dissapointing her, even if in her eyes, i don't think he could. I mean, he comes back an abomination and she still tenderly says 'my poor boy' when you rescue her in the Villa.

All in all...it's tought and I think that it would not be Rook's place to suddenly make Lucanis want to kill his grandma bc he wouldn't. Sorting out those feelings is something he has to do himself, and i'l almost glad the game doesn't make rook do a therapy session with him to talk about it.

[imeriayapping]

I'm so happy that at least in motogp i can breathe without seeing russians because they are always lased in f1 history, they still try to push that fucking shwartzman there too and into indy, they are in wec. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE

And I can't even express my fury because I'm not gonna be called racist/nazi/xenophobic but when people do same thing to Israeli it's ok. I can't be angry at nation that killed my granddad my uncle and probably many more in my family tree. I can't be anything other than thankful for support even if it's never fucking enough because my timeline looks like necrolog.

All i see when I'm online is either other Ukrainians trying to crowdfund ammunition for our soldiers without much success because everyone and our economy is exhausted or news about how new forces join russians to kill us. It's their only goal.

And you can't just fucking cherry pick those russians you like to say that they aren't guilty. They need to embrace consequences of what their politicians are doing. You can't be innocent and russian at the same time, one of very few truly good russians died recently fighting on the side of Ukraine. Our outlook on life becoming so individualistic we don't realise that power is hold by masses, that if they wanted for war to stop those "simple russians" could just stop going to war. Their system is extremely corrupt, it's easy to escape being drafted. Only times they protest is when they get denied another app. There millions of them and somehow just dozens of those caught by police for protest. They just don't fucking care and you continue to defend them online

[pardonmydelays]

i had so much fun last night omg

[bearenjoyers]

sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.

and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.

and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.

[neon-dreamboy]

Is it truly a narcissistic high to feel confident about it, if you're just objectively better at something than someone?

Like lets be honest here.. sometimes the confidence is just fucking deserved

[doriansbutt]

I see your ‘I thought this was a normal thing everyone experiences’ and raise you ‘I am the only one who experiences this and if I say anything people will think there’s something wrong with me’

[hecksupremechips]

Really into the episode of Ouran where this girl confesses her love to Mori but he doesn’t feel the same because he’s into Honey and the girl’s reaction is just like YIPPEE I LOVE YAOI THATS SO COOL FOR YOU YAY 🥰

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[ourceliumnetwork]

apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.

[kariachi]

Sorry-not-sorry I'm back on my normal 'Kevin and Argit were so small' bullshittery.

Because they fucking were. Kevin was twelve when Servantis tossed everybody, and Argit couldn't have been far off. They were middle school aged. 'Puberty would be starting about now if we weren't wandering the Null Void and therefor likely not eating near enough' aged.

A pair of children, with minimal education, no paperwork, no homes, no guardians. Wandering the Null Void and then the Milky Way, on their own. One a prime target for the slave trade, both prime targets for adults looking to take advantage of them (*coughcoughOttocoughcough*). With only as much security as they could provide themselves and each other. Only able to rely on themselves for the basic necessities of life.

And then this show has the audacity to try to tell me that they turned to crime due to poor morality. That they're money focused because they're just naturally greedy. That they don't trust people and look out for themselves because they're bad people that either will always be bad people or will only improve because of the power of Tennysons.

What options were there for them? What jobs are there in the Null Void? What jobs are there in the galaxy that'll hire barely-teens, if even that, with no paperwork or educations, that wouldn't ruin them as badly and pay worse than the crime they already had experience with? Will keep them fed and clothed and sheltered? When one of them already has a criminal record, for violent crimes at that? When there's nobody there to stop even the 'good' adults from taking advantage of them?

The show will sit there and tell you that Kevin's violent crimes were the result of a rough childhood, but he and Argit's non-violent ones? Totally on them, no excuse, wholly a matter of greed and not giving a shit about other people. Fucking bullshit. This is a pair of kids who had to grow up way too fast, up against an existence that saw at least one of them as easy profit, with nothing but themselves and each other, and no opportunities. They're a pair of traumatized kids who grabbed the opportunities available to them with both hands and were molded by the problems they faced.

Of course they're money-focused, unlike the Tennysons they don't and haven't had anybody making sure they had enough to get by. They've had to support themselves and live with the constant worry that something is going to go pear-shaped and they'll have nothing.

They spent years with anybody and everybody being a potential threat (even between the two of them, Argit's noting that Kevin's snapping while he worked for the Rooters was the worst he'd seen 'before or since' makes it quite clear he's seen him on and passed the edge at least as much if not more than we have), of course they're going to be slow to trust, quick to toss people aside, and unwilling to help their enemies without some sort of payout, they've been burned before.

Just- Damnit these two come from some shitty fucking situations, the effects they had on them are obvious if you bother to fucking look, and they both deserved better than the series just going "oh yeah they're assholes what do you expect they're criminals" and moving the fuck on. Like, for fuck's sake at least acknowledge that they're like this because life was a fucking lead pipe to the teeth to them! We know Kevin's situation was shit even before they met, we got to see it, but even if Argit had a perfectly good life beforehand (unlikely) the earliest we see him is being held captive for illegal experimentation purposes by law enforcement! These two have been through shit! At least acknowledge it!

Fuck, they could've replaced Color of Monkey with that, hitting on the differences between how Kevin and Argit adapted to their circumstances, give us upfront the Tennysons being a safety net that let Kevin heal (rather than just 'oh the Tennysons taught him morals because they're the Good People') while Argit's issues and lack of security kept him stagnant. It would go better with what we see of him over the course of OV leading up to the Rooters arc, and what we're shown in the Rooters arc. Give us him still being far from great or on the up-and-up but improving with the stability that comes with his 'hero' status, a repairing relationship with Kevin after that arc, and a flourishing, above-board business. Rather than backpedaling on any good the writers had thrown at him like they'd realized they were coming up against a cliff.

Shit that makes you want to get the writers by the shoulders and shake them mercilessly.

[mildmayfoxe]

the thing about reading so many romance novels is my threshold for what is a decent reading experience is basically on the ground. what in any other genre would be a completely mid to not very good book is often a shining bastion of decency and basically ok grammar in a barren wasteland of like absolutely dogshit literature with half strung together sentences and only the barest wisp of character development and personality. i’ll finish a book that actually deigns to think for half a second about character motivations and has any kind of vaguely assembled plot and be like “wow. that’s reading baby :)”