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pit-and-the-pen · 8 months ago

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I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 2

Sorry this update took a little longer, I had some personal stuff going on and my work schedule was pretty packed this week.

Also, this is a fix-it fic. It'll be following the events of the whole series so buckle in y'all. Also also, I shit on Tamlin a lot in these next chapters but it has a purpose I promise!

Chapter warnings: Warnings: Mention of abuse/ trauma, one comment about weight in terms of said said abuse , minor blood

WC: 9.6K

Read the previous parts here

[prologue] [chapter 1]

Next Part [here]

“Rhys is the most handsome High Lord.” I read line after line of similar words. I rolled my eyes at my brother's antics.

“He’s sure laying it on thick.” I say as I sat down next to Feyre. She looks up from her writing and gives me a guarded laugh.

“At least I’m entertaining.” She huffs out.

“I can help you too, if you want. Give you a break from him.” She raises her eyebrow at me, studying me with a look that made me want to sink in on myself.

“Why?” She asks sharply

I willed my temper down. “Because despite what Tamlin might tell you, we’re not evil,” I spit out at her, she doesn’t flinch even slightly at the venom in my voice. “And you’re going to be here once a month for the foreseeable future. I’d like us to at least tolerate each other. Plus, it would piss off my brother.” Her eyes shone with mischief.

“You should have started with that.” And that was that. I pushed Rhys’ papers to the side and picked out a few books that had been my favorite. The plots are interesting enough to make up for the basic words used. Feyre caught on fairly easily. She could recognize almost all of the basic words but struggled to read them out loud. Not fully understanding how the sounds mashed together. We sat and read, and then when that got to be too much for her we just started talking. It was nothing deep, not really gossip either. Just casual words thrown back and forth until she asks out of the blue. “What’s the deal with Tamlin and Rhys?” I froze into stillness only fae possessed. Sensing my discomfort she backtracked. “You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.” Her voice held a little edge of fear. I forced my shoulders to relax.

“No, you have every right to ask. It’s…complicated. You’re walking into centuries old distrust and unfortunately, are caught in the middle.” It wasn’t fair to her to be caught in all of this old shit. That was our baggage and I could see it was affecting her but she pressed on.

“But why do they hate each other so much?”

“I’m not the best person to ask.” She narrowed her eyes at my non-answer. I sighed. “We’ve both done some terrible things to each other's courts, the wounds run deep and that’s all I’ll tell you.”

“Why?” She would not let up.

“Because you love Tamlin. And I don’t want you to think I’m trying to ruin whatever picture you have of him.” That really seemed to pique her curiosity.

“You had a different experience with him?” It felt like she had punched me in the stomach. No. That’s the problem, I had the exact same experience with him and I ended up just as broken as I can see you’re becoming.

“That’s not a story for today.” I tried to keep the shake out of my voice and maybe it was that, or the fear I know I couldn’t keep off of my face that made her drop the subject with a small, “okay”.

It was lunch time before we decided to take a break. “Do you want to eat here or go out with the others?”

“Rhys will just pull me out if I don’t.”

“My brother can fuck off. What do you want to do?” I saw a ghost of a smile twitch across her face. So we ate in the library. I left only long enough to stack up two plates full of food. Rhys took in the amount of food I was grabbing,

“Hungry today?” I only stuck my tongue out at him and walked back out of the room.

Rhys joined us a little after lunch. If he was surprised to still see me in here, he didn’t let it show. I didn’t leave until Feyre told me she was okay with me doing so.

It was probably overkill to be so protective of her, Rhys was the last person who would ever try to hurt her or anything like that but she was still uneasy around him. She hid it well with the sheer disdain she showed him but I could tell from the rigidness of her shoulders and that slight edge in her voice. But there was also something else there that I couldn’t put my finger on.

Feyre had stayed in the library long after their meeting. I found her hunched over another book, finger slowly tracing over the words. She hardly looked up as I placed another plate of food in front of her and went to walk out of the room. She didn’t call after me and I was okay with that. Scared she might start another round of questions.

I didn’t see much of her after that. So I traveled back and forth between Velaris. Spending half my time at the manor and the other half actually doing my job as researcher. I really didn’t have to work but it gave me something to fill up my days. Before Amarantha I spent most of my time helping Cassian manage the Illyrians, from the background of course. Being the High Lords sister did not save me from their views on females. So I only showed up when necessary, Azriel and Cassian always following behind me. They learned fast enough to keep their tongues in check if they wanted to keep them in their mouths.

Currently I was looking at old maps of Prythian. Combining through records for landscapes and t river patterns. Where the boundaries have shifted over time. And then came the daunting task of trying to pick out recountings of the old war. Figuring out who does best with what court. Prepping for the outcome we were all dreading, another war with Hybern.

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to get from these books.” Cassian said, absently flipping through the large leather bound book I had just placed to the side.

“Anything. Weakness, strengths, strategies, gods, anything.” I said leaning back. I knew I had to take a break, when I closed my eyes I could still see the words swirling in the blackness behind my eyelids. I took a deep breath and went to look at the giant map I had covered my desk with. Pins and markers to recount every movement during the last war.

“Do you really think that it’s going to help?” I know he wasn’t trying to be rude. His voice was soft when he asked and my shoulders sunk in slightly.

“I don’t know. But if it does…” He nodded in understanding. Azriel knocked lightly on the door, making both Cas and I jump. He had learned to knock now after he had to dodge out of the way of the book I had launched at him last week. I still haven't reaccustomed myself to how quiet his footsteps could be. A skill I had once prided myself on, I had even been able to pick up on those silent footsteps and find him before he wanted to be seen.

“Just wanted to remind you two to eat.” He looked at the books strewn across the table, taking note of the one Cassian was still flipping through, playing with truly. “I know how you can get when you’re focused. Time for food.” He smiled at the shy look I gave him from being called out. Many times he had to drag me out of my office when I really got into something. His smile made me think he was remembering those times too.

“If we go, will you two stop making eyes at each other?” Cassian spoke up, making me break away from Azriel’s stare.

“We were not.” I responded, trying to tame the blush in my cheeks. Get it together. I told myself as I forced myself to turn to Cas. His eye roll was the only answer I got. Azriel had already started walking down the hall and I slapped Cassian on the arm.

“You’re so annoying sometimes Cas.”

“And you love me for it.” He gave me a loud, wet peck on the cheek and gave a full head-thrown-back laugh when I made a big show of wiping it off.

I didn't return to the other house that night. Opting to stay with my friends. One of whom, Cassian, had gone into the wine cellar and returned with his arms almost full of the expensive bottles. I just laughed as he shot me a wink. I blew him a kiss back as I settled down on the couch besides Mor.

We didn’t bother getting glasses, passing the bottles around while we talked about absolutely nothing, acting like we had during our teenage years. It was later in the night before Rhys appeared in the living room. He took one look at all of us and rolled his eyes before he swiped the bottle out of my hand and brought it to his lips.

Mor and I were fully supporting each other's weight on the couch, I couldn’t tell who was leaning against who more but our giggles started to get louder and more frequent. She whispered to me so quietly I had to strain to hear her. “Stop staring at him.” And we fell into another fit of giggles.

She was right though, everytime Azriel talked I could feel how my eyes stayed locked on him. Reminding myself to breathe when he pulled the bottle to his lips. I pushed off of Mor and went to stand up, wobbling slightly as my feet touched the ground. Azriel made a move like he was going to catch me if I took a face first dive on the carpet but when I steadied myself, he moved back. It happened so fast I wonder if I imagined it.

“I think it’s bedtime.” I said, mouth feeling mushy as the words came out. Mor laughed again and I turned to face her and gave her a rude gesture. I offered that same hand to pull her up to her feet and she pouted before taking it. Everyone seemed to get the hint that it was late so all of us in our various drunken states started the climb up the stairs to our rooms. Good nights thrown through the hallways, Cassian all but screaming it to make sure Mor and I heard him. The sound made us flinch before laughing again as I closed the door to my room.

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Before I knew it Feyre’s week was officially up. She had demanded to be brought back home and I fought down the biting comments I wanted to make as Rhys agreed. I stepped besides the pair and she looked over to me for a brief second before pretending that neither of us existed.

“You don’t have to come with me. Rhys spoke into my mind and replied with a shake of my head. I could do this for Feyre. Despite every part of my body screaming at me for bringing her back to the Spring court, if she could be brave then so could I. He sighed at my stubbornness but knew that there was no changing my mind.

We weren’t going far. Simply dropping her at the border of spring and summer and making sure she got into the manor. I could manage that. Yet as we were getting ready to winnow in, I felt my hands go clammy. I remember me saying I’ll never go back there willingly.

The smell was the first thing that hit me. The overwhelming floral scent. I could smell the roses from the outside of the manor this far away, their sheer number coating the air with a smell that threatened to suffocate me on the spot.

“Goodbye, Feyre.” She had already started walking before he finished speaking, not sparing so much as a glance back to us. So we stood and watched her retreating figure until those wooden doors closed behind her. That was that.

We didn’t return to Hewn city, instead winnowing outside the townhome.

Rhys didn’t stay to greet our friends. Instead, he all but ran up the stairs to either go to his study or his room. Everyone gave me a tentative look before I shrugged and sprawled out on the couch besides Azriel.

He didn’t try to pull away from me. Instead, he lifted his hands from their spot on his lap. His way of telling me I could place my legs up so I didn’t have to sit awkwardly to avoid his wings. I did and I ignored how happy that little gesture made me. Over the last few weeks he seemed to be able to handle being around me again.

Cassian started rapid firing questions at me. What is she like? She threw what at Rhys? Anything for scraps of what their brother's mate was actually like. Sure they had gotten the story of her trials but this was different, getting to know who she actually was. Cassian seemed pleased to know she was still just as head strong. “Maybe someone will finally humble him a little.” He chuckled

Rhys spoke up as he entered the room. “Who’s humbling who?” He picked at an invisible piece of lint on his shoulder. The only sign of how upset sending Feyre back had made him.

Cassian didn’t answer but instead asked “Did she really throw a shoe at you?” He laughed when Rhys shot me a dirty look. Answering the question for him. “I want to meet her.” Cassian said and I swore he was almost pouting.

Rhys sighed, “And have you scare her off.” Cassian looked hurt so Rhys added, “Let her get more adjusted to me before we add all of this into the mix. Besides, she cannot see Velaris. Not when…” not when she came back to Tamlin. Not when she could still spill every little secret of ours to one of our biggest enemies.

Cas looked like he wanted to argue but only said “Princess gets to see her.”

“Because I have a winning personality.” I smiled at him and he launched one of the small pillows from his chair at me. I managed to deflect it but as it bounced off my arm it hit Azriel square in the face. I bit down my laughter at his faux outraged face. He threw it back and before I knew it, they were yelling at each other, well Cas was yelling and Azriel was trying his hardest not to laugh.Sensing a fight was emanate, I pushed off of Azriel and spoke loudly over the two Illyrian males.

“Outside if you’re going to fight.” Even Armen, who had stalked into the room around as Rhys laughed at that.

Cassian turned to me, his temper still flaring. “We’re not dogs.”

“Last time you both fought in the house, I was cleaning up glass for a week.” I raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to say otherwise.

Azriel spared Cassian from having to respond. “C’mon.” He said, pulling Cassian to what I could only assume was the training ring.

“I forgot how much you look like Rhys when you get bossy.” Cassian said as he was pulled from the room. And my responding gesture made the rest of the room go up in laughs. Rhys followed them out. Probably needing to get rid of his own tension and Armen had snuck back into the research room.

I didn’t have it in me to just stare at maps all day long, regardless of knowing how much I needed to. So I just stayed in the living room, a random book from the shelf pulled onto my lap.

Rhys came back first, hair only slightly disheveled, wings out proudly. “Once I get out of the bath, it’s time for your training.” I huffed and he could sense I was about to argue with him. “Cassian and Azriel told me you can’t use your powers.” Traitors. “So we’re going to figure out what the hel is wrong.”

Less than an hour later I was sitting in Rhys’ study. A small candle flickering in front of me, taunting me to snuff it out. I pulled and pulled for any of the small dark tendrils to do so but found nothing. Sweat was beginning to form on my brow with how hard I was concentrating.

Rhys huffed in frustration at my lack of progress. “It was easier teaching Feyre to read.”

“Then by all means, go back to that. I’d love to see her throw another shoe at you.” I bit back at him and he just rolled his eyes.

“Try again.” He went right back to business, ignoring my statement. I really did try. I Have been trying. That rich darkness that normally lingered under my skin seemed like it was hidden behind a wall. Just out of my grasp, so close I could almost taste it, almost touch it. I yelped as I reached out towards it. Pain flickering through my body as if it had burned me. Rhys’ hand on my shoulder snapped me out of whatever had happened. Sweat broke across my skin and I flinched as I felt my magic fight against the wall inside my head.

“What’s happening?” I spoke to my brother. He just stared at me before I felt a phantom knock at my mental shields. I forced them open and almost screamed at the pain that flooded through me. I knew the moment he found it. Felt that sickening thread of magic that never released when the spell broke for the other high lords. Rhys’ presence in my head retreated and we could only look at each other. No words to be found between us.

“Fuck.” The first word he uttered and I somehow found it in myself to laugh.

“That bad?”

“Good news is there’s not a physical block. No magic stopping you.” So why did he still look like death froze over? “Bad news, you’re the block.”

“Go on?”

“I don’t fully know but it looks like your magic is being tied up by your own magic.”

“So, you’re saying. I’m the problem?”

“I’ve been saying that your whole life but yes, especially in this case.” He teased, trying to lighten the new tension in the air. I bite

“Well then that simply means you’re going to be stuck with me a lot more. That or I go to Helion.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of the other high lord, one who has been trying for the last few centuries to get me into his bed.

“Maybe.” shit. It must be serious if he’s actually willing to let Helion help. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that.” He says solemnly and points back to the candle. I stare at him for a moment before sighing and trying to cover the light again.

We sit as I try again and again and again. Nothing besides a small puff of black smoke to let us know that I’m even trying. Right as I’m about to say something I see Rhys flinch and his eyes flare with anger. Only not at me, his eyes look far away as that anger homes in on whatever must have made his shoulders tense.

I see his eyes come back into focus and I don’t even have to ask before he’s spilling. “He hurt her.” I don’t need him to say who. “I can tell it’s nothing serious but I got nothing but pure fear from her.” Rhys had already explained that the bargain amplified the usual effects of the mating bond. That he could sometimes get whiffs of any strong emotion from Feyre. Fear, anger, mostly fear but as her nightmares have started to fade I haven't heard much about it. My stomach curls and I try to will my hands to not shake as my mind drifts to the endless possibilities of what could have happened.

“It’ll be okay. She’s strong.” The words felt wrong in my mouth and Rhys said the very thing I had been thinking.

“You were strong.”

“Well you can’t very well march in there and get her.” I saw the look on his face. “You can’t, we can’t. And she still doesn’t want us. Unless it feels like that first time…” He shook his head. So not as bad. Still bad, still awful enough for her to send fear down the bond but not bad enough that Rhys could only hear her screaming for someone to get her out of there. So we both let it go, ignored the thoughts that told every part of us to go help this girl from whatever Tamlin was inflicting. But even I knew that Tamlin’s anger comes from his love. That anger so wrapped in fear that something will happen that he almost wills those incidents into existence.

We spend hours trying to break whatever block is in my head until I’m grumpy and all but biting his head off at every little comment he makes. He bites right back at me and I know there's no point in this anymore, both of us too on edge to do anything productive. Throwing his hands up in surrender he doesn’t stop me as I storm out of his study. I run head first into Azriel on my way to my room, his hands resting on my arms so I don’t topple over.

“Training went that well.” He says with a small chuckle. The noise sends a low growl from my throat and he takes his hands off of me. “We’ll figure this out.” He says and I continue my path to my room, not staying long enough to see the concern in his eyes.

I was still grumpy by the time that dinner rolled around but I managed to pull myself out of bed. My head is pounding from the strain and whatever Rhys did inside my mind. I throw on the first thing I find, still in my thin nightgown I pulled on after my bath, and head down to dinner. I don’t say much and not even Cassian tries to cheer me up, all he does is remind me that I’m joining them for training in the morning. I don’t respond with anything other than stabbing the chicken on my plate with extra force.

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I struck the center of the dummy and looked over for Cassian for any semblance of approval. He gave me a bored look and I stomped over to the stupid thing and pulled all three of the daggers out of it. Cas wanted me to get back up to snuff with long range before he put a sword in my hand again. I had never needed the sword that I kept strapped to my back on the missions I would accompany Azriel on, always having my powers to stop anyone from getting that close in the first place. Between Azriel shadows and my blanket of darkness, very rarely did we ever need anything more than truth teller.

I grunted in frustration as the sharp metal flew through my fingers time after time, all of them hitting the center of the target.

“Fuck this Cas, I did the warm ups, I did the exercises. Let me fight.” I needed to do something more than this. If I couldn’t use my powers, if they never came back, I needed to be useful. In no world would I just sit around and let my friends risk death while I sat around playing with my maps. Cassian must have heard the desperation in my voice because he agreed.

We circled each other and I got a rare glimpse of Cassian with no restraint. This was the war general that scared people just by being on the battlefield. I tried not to let the frision of fear show as he surveyed every inch of me, seemingly reading my body language like I was screaming my next moves at him. I didn’t stand a chance. His fist made contact with my nose before I could turn out of the way and I fell to the ground. My hand went up and when I pulled it back, my fingers were sticky with my blood. Cassian was instantly in front of me, mumbling out apologies. I held up my hand to stop him from talking.

“Cassian.” A stern voice called out as I ran my hand along my nose again, feeling for any breaks. “What did you do to her?” Azriel’s voice was full of concern as he knelt besides Cassian.

“Alright bat brains. I’m not dying,” I started to stand up and they both reached out their hands to help me up, I swatted them away and brushed off the dust on my pants. “It’s not the first time I’ve been too slow before, and it’s not going to be the last.” They both stared at me and I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. I still have to beat you Cas.” He shook his head laughing and Azriel shot him a glare.

Cassian, never one to back down from a challenge, and never one to miss an opportunity to piss off Azriel, agreed to go back into the ring with me. He coached me through it this time, slowing down his punches to explain how to predict them and block them. All things that I knew but just needed more practice. By the end of the hour I was covered in sweat but I was able to block him without his guidance. Azriel didn’t leave either, hanging back to watch, adding his own little tips and tricks to help me get some advantage over Cassian but I still couldn’t get him to budge an inch.

“Do you want to get in with her then?” Cassian shouted to Azriel as he continued to assist me from the side lines. I made a motion for Cassian to stop as I tried to catch my breath. Placing my hands on my knees and sucking in screaming breaths.

“I think I’m done.” I panted out.

“If you wanted me to make you breathless princess, all you had to do was ask.” He winked and tossed a canteen full of water over to me. I drank half of it in one long gulp and forced myself to stand up straight. My muscles were already crying out in protest. Tomorrow was going to suck for sure.

The three of us walked back up to the house, laughing and joking and I felt proud of the progress I was making. Even if the dried blood still on my hands might have suggested otherwise.

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A month went by so fast, I had to tick off the days to make sure I was right.I woke up to Rhys preparing to collect Feyre from the spring court again. Rhys didn’t ask me to go with him this time, after that last flood of emotions he knew he would have a hard time containing himself let alone both of us.

I was already waiting at the house for when they got back, ready to play mediator if need be. They had barely materialized before my brother was fussing over Feyre. The two bickered back and forth but from the way she looked over herself, I knew even she could hear the worry in his voice. She had lost more weight since the last time she had been here. The shadows under her eyes creeped back onto her pale skin. “Eat breakfast with me.” He said and I shifted from my place in the living room. Mor was somewhere in the house after her visit to the Court of Nightmares yesterday. Probably still decompressing with the bottle of wine she took with her to bed.

I gave Feyre a small smile and she didn’t return it, but she didn’t glare at me either. It’s a step at least. The female in front of me gave a heavy sigh after weighing Rhys offer. The growl I heard come from her stomach seemed to make the decision for her. I didn’t follow them, if she had wanted me to I would have been able to tell. So I stayed close enough that I could swoop in and save her from my brother's overprotectiveness if need be. The glimpses of their conversation I caught weren’t the best but I stilled completely as I caught,

“I was tortured, beaten and fucked until only I could tell myself who I was, what I was protecting. Please- help me keep that from happening again. To Prythian.” My heart ached at the words. He had had it so much worse than I did, regardless of what people might believe. I could see it on his face during some of his bad days, the scars of what Amarantha did to him. I didn’t listen to her response as I walked to my room.

I found Feyre the next day as I had the last time, hunched over the table with more lines from Rhys to read. She was copying them in better handwriting than she had before. When I approached she didn’t so much as look up at me. I called her name gently and still nothing. So I took that as my sign to let her be. Rhys had gotten called to the war camps later that day.

“Just look after her please. I know she’s fine but let me know if either of you need anything.” He blabbered as I all but pushed him out the door.

“We’ll be fine, you overprotective mother hen.” His face fell slightly and I couldn’t stand that look on his face. “I’ll let you know if she needs anything, okay? Now go be a High Lord.” I saw a hint of a smile as he winnowed out of the house.

I tried to stay out of her way. Whatever bit of goodwill she had allowed me last time seemingly disappeared. So I kept bringing her books when she ran out of the ones Rhys had given her, brought her food and left her to her own devices. Today, she didn’t give me a glare as I sat down in the armchair on her left. I opened my own book without giving her a second glance. The small hmph she made was the only indication she had even noticed my presence. She didn’t want to talk and quite frankly, neither did I, perfectly content with getting lost in our own books.

It was around midday and the sun was just starting to peek through the heavy curtains of the library when I felt Rhys appear in the room. In his hands were trays of food which he presented to Feyre. A small thank you left her lips and I wanted to smack that smug look on Rhys face as he teased her. But then I saw his face get serious and I suddenly felt very much like I was intruding on a private moment. “Tell me how I can help you.” His voice was scratchy and I knew he was trying to hold back tears, to keep the conversation casual enough that she wouldn’t shut him out again. I truly did try to tune them out but these were the same things I had been wanting to say to her all week but couldn’t find the strength.

“If you fall apart then the bitch wins. All of that is for nothing and she wins.” Rhys said plainly and Feyre flinched before going back to her book. I could tell that she was talking to him in her mind. My eyes grew wide when I saw that slight layer of frost cover the book cover. Rhys barely had time to dodge said book as it was thrown right at his head. It bounced harmlessly to the floor and I stifled a laugh. The laugh died in my throat when I saw the flicker of flames in her palms and I tried to reach my mind out to Rhys, he all but threw me out.

Feyre and Rhys left later that day. I didn’t offer to come with, didn’t want to come with. Just like last time when Rhys returned to Velaris, he stalked to his office and hid out for the rest of the evening. I only got close enough to the door to leave a plate of food outside before retreating back to my side of the house. His emotions pouring through the door were enough to give me a headache, the way it felt like I was walking into a brick wall. I didn’t try to talk to him for the rest of the day. Instead choosing to pull my attention back to the map in my study.

I had been neglecting it to focus on Feyre and Rhys but I knew it’s just because I wasn’t getting anywhere. No matter how many books I read, I couldn’t think of anything that would help us win this war. Not without all seven courts working together and I knew Hel would freeze over before that ever happened.

So I read until my eyes became blurry and heavy. My head had gotten so heavy like the words were getting stuck and wouldn’t leave. When I felt my eyes starting to close and knocking on the door jostled me awake. I saw the shadows before I saw him, too tired to notice that they had time to take in my current state and report back to Az.

“You should take a break.” He said as he went to pull up a chair at the table I was sitting at.

“I can’t take a break when I haven’t found anything yet.” I whined at him. “I’m supposed to be good at this, I am good at this. Or at least I was.” I slumped in my chair and I saw that familiar look of concern flash through his warm amber eyes. He sat there, I could almost see the gears in his brain turning, his shadows starting to swirl around the floor like soothing waves. I stared at them and felt my mind calm slightly. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, wings flapping behind him.

We just sat there in silence for a few moments and then he stood up suddenly. My eyes tracked the movement, following his arm as he extended a hand to me. It was like my brain short circuited at the gesture. He had to clear his throat before I snapped out of it and I timidly placed my hand in his. He led me out of my office and I felt his shadows on my heels. “Where are we going?” I laughed at how ridiculous this must look, one of the fiercest Illyrian warriors towing someone behind him like an excited kid.

“Just be quiet. You’ll know when we get there.” His own voice full of an almost giddy excitement. So I let him pull me along. All the way outside until it clicked. There was a little patch of grass beside the Sidra that I loved to sit by when the weather was just starting to turn warm. Our little group used to spend free days out on that field, just soaking in the warmth. He gave me a proud smirk when we finally reached that stretch of grass. “Now, you’re going to sit and just enjoy being out here.”

“Is that an order?” I teased and he didn’t miss a beat.

“If that means you’ll actually do it, then yes.” I sat and looked out over the river. The lights and sounds of the city walk could just trickle in, becoming a lovely hum in the back of my mind. I patted the spot next to me and Azriel sat beside me. I curled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on top of them. Just looking at the city I loved so much. We didn’t talk, Azriel was always good for that. He knew when I needed the quiet. The sound of the small waves helped clear my head and after a while I felt my shoulders sink down, the tension lightening. It was still there of course but became more manageable as I could smell the water and Azriel’s pine and fresh air scent. It wrapped its way around me and held me like my favorite blanket.

“Thank you.” I said, breaking the comfortable silence. We didn’t look at each other, still staring out at the city just ahead.

“Of course. Anything for you,” He cleared his throat, “For one of my friends.” I bit down the string at that little word. I fought the urge to put some distance between us at the feeling that flooded me. The cruel reminder of just exactly how he saw me. So I just pulled my legs in tighter and ignored all the thoughts of him that began to take over.

We didn’t head back to the house until sundown. The pair of us walked under the flickering faelights that lined the streets. It still blows my mind how much the city changed while I was gone. I told him that much. And he shrugged off the tiny complement.

“Rhys and I will never be able to thank you enough for how much you all did while we were…gone.” My voice felt tight as I finished, “You kept our home safe when we couldn’t.” He turned to look at me and went to say something but stopped himself. His face looked slightly pained, in that concerned way he always managed. He shook his head slightly.

“You did more than we ever could. You and Rhys gave us a chance to have something to protect in the first place.” In his words, I was pulled back to that night when it had all gone to shit. How Cassian and Azriel were out dealing with the camps and how I couldn’t convince Rhys not to go so I insisted that I come along. I had to beg him to let me come with him and he still wasn’t happy about it. We walked right into a trap and before most of his power had been ripped away from him he wiped the memory of Velaris from everyone who was under the mountain and let our friends know what was happening, how they couldn’t come after us without leaving Velaris unguarded.

Azriel’s small nudge to my shoulder pulled me back to the present and his eyes asked the question before he needed to.

“I’m okay.” But I felt how my arms had wrapped around myself but he didn’t say anything about it, letting me have my space. We reached the house again and I could hear Cassian and Mor’s voices floating down the hallway. The sound alone plastered a smile on my face. Azriel followed behind me as I rounded the corner and Cassian all but cheered when he saw me. “There you are princess, we went to pull you out of your study but it seems someone beat us to it.” He gave me a small wink and I laughed at the joke behind it. I shook my head as I sat down next to Mor who was already pouring me a glass of wine.

Rhys spoke to me across the table, “I peaked in and saw the map, tomorrow if you’re up for it I want all of us to go over it.” I nodded and he smiled at me. And we all ate and joked and I left the love I felt for the people in the room washed over me like the waves in the Sidra.

---------------------

“So if it comes down to war. Who do we have?” Rhys turned to Cassian and myself. We were all sitting around the map I had been working on, face grim as I explained the various markings.

“The Illyrians don’t have a choice. The court of nightmares should. We kept up pretty well with Dawn and Day. Winter…” His voice trailed off. I still remember Kallias’ face as the news broke of the attack on Winter. The thousands of babes dead by Amarantha’s hand. The pure loathing his face held as he looked at Rhys.

“I can talk to them.” I had always liked Kallias. And from the little bit I’ve heard since our return home, he finally married Viviane after being friends since childhood. Viviane was sweet and her, Mor and I had been known to get ourselves in trouble when together. If she would listen, Winter would come around.

“Autumn and Spring are lost causes.” Cassian sighed beside me, slumping down in his chair.

“Tamlin is delusional enough to think it would keep him safe.” And keep Feyre safe. But I didn’t say that outloud. “Beron is…well Beron. Unless we think we can pursue one of the brothers to take him out of the equation, I think it’s better to not plan for them.”

“Summer?” Rhys asked pointedly ignoring Cas’ words on the other seasonal courts.

“Tarquin is new and young. He’ll side with the majority. But I think I could talk to him and at least see where his loyalties lie.” I had only talked to the new high lord a few times during our time under the mountain. He seemed nice enough, one of the few people who was even willing to talk to me at all. No fear of the role I had been forced into and hoped he would side with us. Hoped his newness wouldn’t scare him into the easy choice.”

“I don’t like the idea of having two courts fighting against us.” Azriel finally spoke up. I had almost forgotten he was in the room but his shadow currently sitting at my feet should have been reminder enough. “Hybern has the armies he needs and if he has the cauldron….”

“So what do you suggest?” My brother asked, head in his hands.

“We talk to them. Let them know that we won’t win this if we’re not unified. Remind them that we fought a war once to avoid this very thing and some courts were on the wrong side of history then and would be now.” I spoke plainly, it was the only answer. If it had been anyone else the idea would have been shot down. But Rhys just let out a heavy breath and nodded.

“We’ll wait until we’re sure. Some courts will refuse to believe there will be a war until it’s staring them in the face.” The tone in Rhys’ voice letting us know this meeting was over. We all stayed in the room, the same exhausted look sat on our faces. “Good work.” Rhys said to me as he studied the map again. “You got all of this from books?” I had been too young to remember most of the war, let alone fight in it. But at least someone had thought it smart to recount all of it in very exact detail, I just managed to translate to current day Prythian. Rhys was silently nodding to himself as he really studied the map. The others slowly filter out of the room, leaving Rhys and I alone studying the map.

“And these?” He pointed to the orange marks I had drawn all over.

“Trade agreement routes, the thicker the line, the more movement there is through that path. They would be the most vulnerable areas since people know them so well. They’re also normally the quickest way between courts.” I pointed out more of the lines and pins. I had so much marked off, down to what ways the rivers flowed and where their currents changed. Rhys just drank in all the information I threw at him, only nodding along to the explanations. I was about to start on another part of the map before I saw his face freeze.

Rhys had completely stilled besides me. That all-too-familiar far-away look on his. When I raised my eyebrow at him, “What is it? Is it…” He didn’t wait for me to finish, instead he let me into his mind and I almost flinched at whatever feeling Feyre was sending him. The crushing agony and pure terror. It was a feeling I knew all too well. These weren't the few stray glimpses Feyre had sent him while they were separated. This was the very thing all of us were holding our breath for, hoping it never happened.

“Rhys we can’t just ignore it this time.” I spoke, already leaving the table. His hand wrapped around my wrist, making me pause.

“If you storm in there, Tamlin has every right to declare a war.”

“And we’ll have every right to kill his sorry ass. Something that we could have done decades ago.” I spit back at my brother.

“Please.” His voice shook with fear. Scared for Feyre and maybe for me. I put my hands up in surrender. I couldn’t argue against the tone in his voice.

“So how do you want to do this then?” I asked him and we started planning.

In less than 10 minutes Mor had winnowed right on the border of spring and summer. Rhys had insisted that she come along to help. Her status would help blanket us from any repercussions. Plus her powers would come in handy if any of the guards found us. So her and I snuck into that manor I had sworn I would never see again. Do it for Feyre. Be brave for her. I said to myself as my own terror rose to a fever pitch.

I could see the darkness already pouring out of the house. My anger quickly turned into fear. What did he do to her? The voice in my head screamed. Rhys had already broken the wards and whatever was locking her inside the house. Mor knocked out the guards before they could spot us. When we finally entered the house my blood ran cold. Sitting in a ball of inky darkness was Feyre. Her screams pierced something deep inside of me. I looked around and locked eyes with Alis. Her eyes wide as she took in my face.

“He locked her in the house. I tried to…Please just keep her safe.” Was all the older fae had said to me.

My heart warmed at the concern in her voice. The same concern she had once shown me. I nodded and walked towards Feyre. Whatever darkness she was wielding seemed to only be for her and as I shook her shoulder, gently saying her name they retreated slightly. I looked over to Mor who only gave me a small nod. Taking her cue, I picked up the shaking female and was startled by how light she felt. Mor spoke up from beside me. “Your guards are going to have a hell of a headache when they wake up.”

Alis nodded in understanding and I added. “Don’t tell him where we took her. Please.” And for a second I felt just as broken as the female in my arms. I knew she would tell him, and would have to tell him but a small part of me wished she wouldn’t. But that was unfair to expect of her. It reminded me too much of the same hope I had when I left. Face sunken in and heart broken as I begged her to not tell Tamlin I was leaving. No one was there to help me and I’ll be damned if Feyre ever felt that pain. I didn’t say another word as Mor winnowed us right in front of the border. It felt like I could finally breathe again as the scent shifted to ripe fruit and salt water that marked us as safe. Marked us in summer. Feyre shifted in my arms and mumbled something softly.

Mor soothed a hand through her hair. “You’re free.”

Rhys quickly scoped Feyre from my arms without so much as a word. He looked at Mor and I

“We did everything by the book.” Rhys nodded before I felt the air whoosh around my ears and I knew we had made it home. Rhys deftly climbed the stairs to take Feyre to her room and I just stood staring at my brother back. I blocked out the memories that began to rise to the surface. The scar on my arm prickled and when my other hand raised to scratch at the angry white lines that trailed down my forearm, Mors hand wrapped against mine. Grounding me in the present.

“She’s free.” She repeated to me.

“Thank the mother.” I responded as I started to climb the stairs suddenly bone tired.

Feyre didn’t emerge from her room that night or the next morning. More than once I found myself standing outside her door, hand held up to knock but some part of my brain told me not to. Rhys hasn't left her side the whole time she was asleep. Whatever magic she had used in the house had exhausted her and I felt my heart pang for her. How alone she must have felt, how scared she must have been to be locked in that house. I remember my simple panic the first time I went to the basement of the townhouse. How it transported me back to under the mountain, I couldn’t imagine how it felt to be locked away again.

When I finally did see her, she seemed to have gotten a little color back. Enough so that she was able to argue with Rhys again. I didn’t linger this time to hear the fight, letting them duke it out in private. But as Rhys turned the corner, I knew something that happened. Something important.

”We’re going home.”

If someone had told me two months ago that Feyre would be standing in the living room of our home in Velaris I would have probably keeled over laughing. But here we were, Feyre’s eyes flickering from spot to spot in the house. I couldn’t get a read on her face but before I could even process that, I heard a pounding on the door. Cassian’s voice filtering through the wood, already complaining. Rhys shot me a look that said deal with them please. He tried to hide it but I could tell he was waiting for Feyre’s reaction to her surroundings. A hint of anything to gauge how she was feeling. He needed her to like this place like he needed to breathe. So I excused myself from the room and slipped out the front door.

”Are you serious Cas?”

”I want to meet her. She’s right there, my brothers m-” I cut him off, blocking both him and Azriel from trying to peek into the house. They could easily push right past me but stayed a healthy distance.

”Do not finish that sentence. Do you want all of Velaris to know?” I whispered screamed at him and he rolled his eyes.

”I promise you drama queen, no one’s up this early. I don’t want to be up this early.”

After a few minutes of us bickering back and forth, Rhys opened the door and said to us, “Are you all just going to stand there?”

Cassian all but trampled me trying to get in the house. I laughed when I saw his crestfallen face as he noticed Feyre was no longer in the room. “She was here right?” He spoke to the room.

”Maybe she’s scared of your good looks Cas, can’t have her falling in love with the wrong Illyrian bastard now can we?” I shot Rhys a wink and he growled lightly.

”She’ll meet you when she’s ready.” Was all he said before he rangled all of us into the dining room.

Feyre slept for the rest of the morning. She came down the stairs dressed in Night Court clothes and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The way they seemed to compliment her well enough and I had to bite my tongue to prevent me from pointing that out. Rhys met her at the door and shot me a vulgar gesture at my sugary sweet, “Be safe kids.” That I called out from my spot on the couch. I sat on the couch until the sun started to set. I had just got to the good part and debated even going to the dinner at all but I was dying to see how Feyre would handle our crazy family. If she had any chance at surviving here, she needed to like them or they would drive her crazy. Although from Cassian’s earlier words that might be the case either way. So I groaned and pulled myself off the couch, pulling on the first thing that I saw and winnowed with Mor to the front steps of the house.

Azriel and Cassian were waiting to fly us up. Cassian wrapped his arm around Mor’s waist and Azriel did the same to me. I hardly felt my feet leave the ground before he was already placing me down in front of the door. I had not had the heart to come here since I’ve been home. Too many memories for me to want to come alone and Mor grabbed my hand as she pulled me through the threshold. We had just settled in before I heard the faint trails of Rhys and Feyre voices outside the door. I couldn’t stop the two males from bounding to the door, they flung it open to reveal a very annoyed looking Rhys. I held my breath as she stood in the doorway, eyes searching for something and she landed on me. She squared her shoulders but Cassian was already speaking.

”I promise we won't bite.”

Last I heard, Cassian, no one has taken you up on that offer.” And I laughed as Feyre’s face blanched. I didn’t miss the way the female's eyes raked over the Illyrians as they stepped into the light. I tried not the bristle as her eyes lingered on Azriel just a fraction longer than I would have liked. Rhys introduced the two and it was Feyres response to one of his questions that made me feel a frision of pride.

”How the hell did you manage to survive this long without anyone killing you?” She would fit right in and Cassian’s booming laugh told me that very same thing. Armen had appeared almost out of thin air as we all made our way to the table.

Feyre was slowly filled in about how the three brothers had met. Her eyes flickered to me during the story.

”Where do you fit into all of this, besides being his sister.” She quickly added. Everyone seemed to be waiting for me to answer.

”I mean there's not much else to it besides that. He got stuck with them so I did too. I nearly knocked Cassian's teeth in the first time I met him and I’ve been stuck with them ever since.” I stuck my tongue out at Cassian who rolled his eyes.

”You mean you broke your fist trying to, princess. I had to nurse you back to health and you were helpless but to fall for my charm.” Now it was my turn to roll my eyes and I fought the urge to throw my bread across the table at him. If it wasn't for Feyre I would have. The rest of the stories and tales flowed out and, much to Feyre’s credit, she didn’t falter in the slightest. She interjected at the perfect moments, making jokes that had everyone roaring with laughter. Then the tables were turned onto her and Cassian was asking her about her life. After she had finished she turned to Rhys.

’I accept your offer- to work with you.” And I wanted to scream and cheer. I felt no such joy from Rhys as he started.

”Good because we start tomorrow. Hybern is starting this war and he’s going to bring back Jurian to help him.” I felt a shiver run down my back. Rhys had neglected to tell me that part. In an instant the lighthearted conversation was thrown to the side and Cassian launched into full general mode.

I tried my best to keep up with this new bit of information, how it would throw a wrench into any attempts of a plan. I missed the conversation that followed, mind already trying to figure out the adjustments I would need to make to the map in my office. Armen managed to snap me out of my thinking.

”The Bone Carver might indeed be willing to talk to her.” She pointed a finger at Feyre and I went to argue against the ancient female. Rhy had beaten me to it.

”Your choice, always your choice, Feyre.” and I tried to keep the fear off my face as she answered.

”How bad could it be.” Cassians’ answer had her face pale as a ghost and it was clear dinner was over at that moment. The others reduced to arguing over the semantics and who would be doing what in preparation for their journey to the prison. My eyes suddenly felt very heavy at the sounds of their voices. Azriel’s gentle hand on my shoulder was the sign that the arguing had stopped at all. I didn’t need to be asked a second time and as he flew me back down to the ground below Velaris, I wondered if all of us would make it through the war a second time.

Next Chapter: Here

Taglist: @durgenyx @tothestarsandwhateverend @quinzzelx

#acomaf #acosf #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acowar #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #a court of thorns and roses #azriel x oc #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #inner circle #rhys acotar #rhysand acotar #rhysand #feysand #rhys!sister

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gainerbf · 1 year ago

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•How I’ve gained weight•

I’ve wanted to make a post like this for a while now because I get the question ‘how do I gain weight’ often. Here is an outline of what I’ve been doing

-In the morning, I try to have eggs. 4 eggs scrambled with a slice of cheese is my go to. That’s 24 grams of protein right away. Add a tall glass of milk (for me chocolate milk) and boom, 30 grams of protein immediately.

-I work on the road during the year so around lunch time I would try to snack on cashews and peanut butter crackers. Once I’m off work around 2-3pm, I would try to have a burger. Literally just a plain ass burger or 2 with ketchup. Alternate that with grilled chicken or a deli sandwich with some kind of red meat. Or even full fat greek yogurt is good.

-Dinner is…dinner. Eat whatever. Pasta. Pizza. Chicken. Steak. Burgers. Tacos. Hell pb n js will do. Go nuts

-IMPORTANT-

•Weight Training

I weight train. Almost every day. I can tell I am ruining some of your ‘ooo fat boy is out of shape. He probably can’t do a push up’ fantasies. Very sorry but I can. I can do a lot actually. I lift weights. I do lunges. I do squats. I have a fat fucking milkshake made up simply of ice cream and milk. Not even trying with the milk either, it’s low fat. Imagine if I did whole milk? In due time 😉 but this is important. I’m not saying ‘hit the gym blimpie!’. Get some dumbbells. Work your lower body. You need to do this anyways to carry your growing body. Plus you’ll feel A LOT better…and your ass and thighs look good, win win 😃

-Midnight snack/second dinner. My go to second dinner/before bed snack is a steak and cheese grinder. I don’t have it every night but probably 3-4 times a week. Again, it doesn’t have to be red meat but protein is key.

In conclusion

I started doing this for a few reason

My job causes me to move around a good bit and I lost weight because of it. I had no muscle. I was just pure fat. I wanted to change that and have

I figured it would help fill me out a bit more. Uhhhh mission accomplished 🥵

It’s healthy. Pretty simple

Final reason. I am always trying to find the most effective weight gain regimen. This is it. At least for me it is.

I’ve gained 23 pounds since June 25th. I have to make adjustments do to my upcoming work schedule but I plan on keeping this routine for the foreseeable future and even tweaking it a bit.

-I can add protein powder, whole milk and heavy cream to my milkshakes

-I can have 2 milkshakes a day (or 3 or 4 or just a constant stream 😅)

-I will go up in weight with my weight training. Increasing weight is key, don’t do a ton of reps because that is how you cut/tone. You want to build. Only way to build is to increase the weight you lift. Don’t hurt yourself. Start low, then grow

I’m not saying this is a guarantee plan for you. Everybody is different. But this worked for me. It DESTROYED a plateau I was hitting and then some.

Side note: this was influenced by a post that I have a screenshot of but I didn’t screenshot the name of the blog and I can’t find the post. When I see it resurface, will rb

#pinned tweet #how to

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gepardings · 9 months ago

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HIIII can I request for a vincent renzi fic where vincent as a lawyer is of course VERY busy and reader rarely sees Vincent and when reader texts him he barely answers so reader gets moody af :o then one night, unexpectedly, when reader is eating dinner or something and sitting alone in her apartment, Vincent surprises her and it gets so fluffy after..... hope everything goes well for u, thank you!

Oh my god, anon!!! This is such a good prompt. I took the angstier approach with it near the beginning, but you do get your fluff at the end. Thank you for the ask! I hope you like it <3.

genre: angst with comforting ending word count: 1081. warnings: none!

It took awhile for the lawyer to agree to make it official with you. Vincent Renzi was a man who fell in love easily, but seldom did he act on these desires. He was focused, meticulous, determined. Between law school and building a career, he had come to terms with being alone for the foreseeable future. In all fairness, he believed that no one would put up with him because of it. His relationships didn’t last very long as a result and he’d convinced himself that he was content with that.

However, he did not anticipate you in this. Suddenly, he was no longer content leading this lonely life of his. Suddenly, he was going out of his way to get your attention. Suddenly, the world was just you. It was wonderful.

When the honeymoon phase wore off, however, reality would hit you both. He was a busy man in a competitive field, and he had to get his head back in the game. Vincent back at work, you desperately trying to adjust to his absence. He really tried at the beginning— he’d squeeze in dates no matter how busy he was. During harder cases, even those dates would disappear.

This one particular case fell as an example of that. You hadn’t seen him in weeks! He’d head from the office straight to his apartment where he’d collapse and the cycle would repeat. You’d considered asking him to move in, but he wasn’t answering any texts except for the ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ ones (to prove he wasn’t ghosting you, just busy) and there was no time to bring it up.

At some point, you tried showing up to the law firm to drop him off some lunch you’d made him. Showing up unannounced was your first mistake however, Vincent was visiting a client who lived two hours away by car! He wouldn’t be back until the deep hours of the night. You’d gone home— defeated. It wasn’t just defeat, but a misplaced anger. In the heat of the moment, you’d angrily texted him to have the decency to at least text you his schedule, and that this was driving you insane. When the text remained on delivered for the next few hours, you’d felt humiliated and hurt.

Maybe you just weren’t cut out for this. Vincent needed someone who could keep up with his pace, but oh you loved him desperately. It wasn’t an issue of insecurity or feeling unfulfilled. You just … missed your boyfriend. Yeah, you just missed your boyfriend. You missed his hands running through your hair as you cuddled on your couch, his other hand scrolling through his laptop as he went over the details of another case while yours scrolled through your phone. You sat in the same position on the couch, scrolling through your phone, but there was no hand to run through your hair.

You must’ve been in that position for hours, because when you looked up at the sound of your door unlocking, you could see that it was dark outside. You frowned deeply. You knew it was Vincent who had come on— he was the only person with a key to your apartment after all. He called out for you, and when you gave him no response, he made his way to the living room, looking at you with a sheepish expression.

He looked tired. Deep-set eyes looking at you with apology etched in. In his right hand was a bouquet of your favorite flowers, in his left was your favorite take-out. However, he did not speak, only watched you.

“Do you think this makes up for this?”, you spoke, and you were surprised at how you immediately choked up. You looked to the side, not wanting him to see how truly worked up you were over this. You heard him put down the gifts and in seconds, he was crouching in front of you.

“Chérie..”, he pleaded. “Sweetness.”

“It’s not fair, Vincent”, you mumbled, still not looking at him. The comfort his presence brought you was unmatched. Just speaking to him could bring you to tears when you’ve been repressing them for weeks on end. “There has to be a different way”, you finally turned to him, the tears freely falling down your cheeks.

“Please, don’t cry”, he whispered, hand wiping at your cheek, his other hand holding your own, squeezing. “I’m so sorry.” When the tears didn’t stop, he pulled you in by the back of your neck, letting you bury your face in the crook of his as he kissed your forehead. “I never wanted you to feel like this. It’s just not something I can control”, he promised. “Look at me?”

You finally did, your eyes finding his blue-grey ones. He smiled down at you, and you couldn’t help the ache in your heart. “We have to figure something out, okay? I love you, but it’s like I’m dating a ghost.” He nodded, kissing you softly. “Okay. We’ll figure it out.”

You stayed like that for a while, staring at one another, unspoken words of love exchanged. “I heard you came by.. the law firm today?” You nodded, laughing softly and wiping away your tears. Your laugh was a sound that always made his heart swell with affection. Vincent Renzi was a man who fell in love easily, and when he did, that love encompassed his entire being. To him, your smile, your laugh was his entire being.

“I thought that if I wasn’t going to see you at home or on dates, I could bring the dates to you. I wanted to have lunch together, but you weren’t there.”

He watched you, a smile on his face. “What?”, you asked. He reached over and planted another kiss on your lips. “Je suis fou de toi.” (I’m head over heels for you).

You blushed, giggling into the kiss. It was not easy being with someone as driven and determined as Vincent Renzi, but you had once heard that when you love someone, truly, then there is nothing to keep you away from that person. You were never much of a believer in such cliches, but he made you one. He had turned you into someone who believed in cliches, and you had turned him into a man willing to throw all the efforts he had made to protect himself from heartbreak out the window just for the chance to love and be loved by you.

#anatomy of a fall #vincent renzi #vincent renzi x reader #swann arlaud #swann arlaud x reader

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justinspoliticalcorner · 1 month ago

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Dan Pfeiffer at The Message Box:

Poring through the aftermath of a brutal defeat, Democrats are now in their worst position in at least 20 years. Republicans have the White House and the Senate and an excellent chance to capture the House. Trump is only the second Republican since 1988 to win the popular vote, and he made huge gains across the country, building a multi-racial working-class coalition.

For many of you, I imagine this is painful to read. Trust me. It is even more painful to write. Most of my career has been spent within the machinery of the Democratic Party. I worked in the White House and Senate leadership. I worked for Democratic governors and other party organizations. It pains me to see the party in this state of disfavor only eight years after Barack Obama left the White House. The coalition that Obama built has crumbled. There are millions of reasons why we are in this position — COVID, inflation, an unpopular President, several political miscalculations, and a failure to adapt to a changed media environment. Ultimately, I am less interested in how we got into this mess than in how we get out of it.

The press continues to second-guess and Monday-morning quarterback various tactical decisions of the Harris campaign. I am also not particularly interested in that debate. Two things can be true at the same time. Kamala Harris ran a great campaign in a brutal political environment under an impossible timeline, and Democrats just got their ass kicked by a failed President and convicted criminal who could have been sentenced to jail if he lost the election. Where Democrats go from here is a conversation that will be an ongoing part of this newsletter in the months to come. There is no singular or simple answer, and many strawman arguments are being offered up on Twitter and cable. The solution is more complex than being more left or centrist or less woke. I don’t have the answers. Like the rest of you, I am still processing what happened on Tuesday. As part of my personal therapy, I wanted to do a bit of brain dump on the road ahead for Democrats as we confront another four years of Trump.

1. Recognize the Scale of the Problem

On one level, Trump’s win isn’t that big. His popular vote margin will end up being lower than Hillary Clinton’s when she lost the Presidency. This was far from a landslide. It looks nothing like Reagan’s victories in 1980 and 1984 or Obama’s win in 2008. But we shouldn’t sugarcoat the size and scope of Trump’s victory. Trump improved on his 2020 performance nearly everywhere in the country and with every type of voter. There was a six-point shift to the right in the country from 2020. Trump did 10 points better in Democratic strongholds like New York, New Jersey, and Rhode Island. He gained ground with men, women, Latinos, Black voters, and voters under 30. If the GOP can maintain that coalition post-Trump, Democrats will have no shot at the White House or the Senate for the foreseeable future. We are in a deep hole, and because of that, it is essential that we contemplate radical solutions about how we communicate, campaign, and govern. Every option should be on the table and every prior should be questioned. Yes, it was a brutal political environment, but this failure was a long time in the making.

2. Understand Why We Keep Losing on the Economy

Post-COVID inflation is the biggest factor in this election. It’s why incumbent parties all over the world have been getting slaughtered in election after election. It’s almost impossible to win an election when, according to the exit polls, 68% of voters rate the economy negatively, 75% say inflation caused them harm, and only 24% of voters say their financial situation is better off than four years ago. But if Democrats just blame inflation for voter distrust on the economy, we will be whistling past the graveyard. Democrats have lost economically-focused voters in every election since 2012. Even in the 2018 and 2022 midterms, which saw huge Democratic gains, we lost the voters who said the economy was their top issue by an average of 36 points!

President Biden passed a bunch of very consequential and popular policies. Yet, his ratings on the economy worsened over time. While I think we should revisit our policy agenda to look for new, bolder ideas that better speak to people’s concerns, this is largely not a policy problem. It’s a brand problem. When you do a blind taste test, our policies are more popular. This is why ballot initiatives like raising the minimum wage and allowing collective bargaining often pass in very Red states where Democrats have no chance of winning elected office. On economic issues, Democrats have a cultural problem; regardless of our policies, voters in the toughest economic situations simply don’t think Democrats care about them, and they haven’t since Barack Obama left office. Republicans have done an excellent job — with some inadvertent help from Democrats — branding our party as the party of elites even though the GOP standard bearer is a wannabe billionaire who offers tax cuts to other billionaires in exchange for campaign contributions. There is little question that we would benefit from more full-throated populism.

3. Close the Communications Chasm

Democrats are losing the information war. Trump and the Republicans are relentlessly communicating their narrative to a wide swath of the electorate, while Democrats are mostly still playing by an old set of rules. The Right is dominating the information space. In the battleground states where Democrats could spend more than a billion dollars communicating to voters on TV and digital platforms, Trump gained three points over his 2020 performance. In the rest of the country, which saw no paid Democratic messaging, Trump gained six points. This means that Democrats got absolutely battered in earned and social media. An average American who just turned on their TV or unlocked their phone or tablet was getting much more pro-Trump and anti-Democratic messaging. This situation is not unique to the Harris campaign. It’s been a problem for Democrats for more than a decade. Democrats cannot reach the wide swath of voters who don’t actively consume political news. According to polling from Data for Progress, here’s the statistics showing how people voted based on the amount they paid attention to political news:

a great deal: Harris +8

a lot: Harris +5

a moderate amount: Trump +1

a little: Trump +8 -

none at all: Trump +15

If you read the New York Times or watch CNN, Democrats know how to reach you. The problem is that we already have those voters. It's very clear that most of Democratic communications is a circular conversation with the people who already agree with us on everything. The rest of the electorate can’t hear us. They are getting no countervailing information to counter the Right Wing caricature of Democrats. Because of Fox News and other Right Wing outlets, Republicans have long had an asymmetric media advantage. However, in recent years, Right Wing messaging has come to dominate non-political online spaces centered on topics like comedy, gaming, gambling, and wellness.

Most Democrats continued running the same communications playbook for the entire Trump era despite massive changes in the media ecosystem. We haven’t incubated our progressive political media enough nor have we been willing to go into the non-political spaces where the most critical segment of voters are getting their info.

Dan Pfeiffer has yet another home run column on how the Democrats can roar back from their shock 2024 losses.

#2024 Presidential Election #2024 Elections #Democratic Party #Dan Pfeiffer #Substack

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ms--lobotomy · 3 months ago

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40k Lion being an an absolute freak. A slutty old man. A whore. Anything will do really.

Normally I don't answer requests while they're closed, but @kit-williams has a long overdue birthday gift involving Lion of either type. I was already going to do 40k Lion, but this is the kick in the ass I needed to finally write the fic. Thank you, Anon!

Summary: Lion reunites with an old lover.

Word Count: 649

Content Warnings: This one's real soft but like. Armor kink and breeding and vague NSFW

Image Credit: @squishyowl

You were going to become a mother. At least, that's what he had promised you. Before Horus lost his mind, before the man you loved vanished without so much as telling anyone where he'd gone. Ten thousand years had gone by. Despite your nature as a Perpetual, it was a long and accursed wait for something that might not even happen. Ten thousand years, and you'd not given up for a day.

Someone who'd been the lover of a Primarch would have had to go into hiding for the foreseeable future. So hide you did, moving from planet to remote planet and never staying for more than a few Earthen years. It was late at night while you worked. The noises you heard were like small earthquakes, but rhythmic as one thump superseded another. Right after the last one, you heard a knock.

"Shouldn't you be...?" you asked, words failing you.

"What in the galaxy do you mean?" you heard a familiar voice respond.

It all clicked in your mind. Perhaps the footsteps of a Primarch were so unfamiliar to you nowadays, so otherworldly that you'd mistaken them for something else. You hadn't looked out of any windows, but you saw a familiar shade of green. And you'd recognize the voice anywhere, if it was a little huskier and a little more worn.

"Lion?"

"Indeed," he replied, "now if you could invite me in, that would be quite welcome."

You tilted your head. He was never one to announce his presence, and the Lion you knew would open the door himself if he'd wanted to see you. Oh, well, you've reasoned with yourself. Most people change in ten thousand years. As you approached the door, you saw the familiar etchings in his verdant armor. You opened it and craned your neck up to look at him.

"You've aged," you said softly as he ran a hand along your cheek. His wrinkles were far more pronounced, and his hair was silver instead of the blonde you remembered. His forest-green eyes were the same, and he made rare eye contact with you as the crows feet grew deeper with his smile.

His smile widened. "You haven't," he replied, kneeling down. He slipped a hand behind your knees and lifted you up, his armor cold against your skin.

You relaxed. Despite the metal armor, his hold was as comfortable as your remember. He stood up. You hadn't felt that rush of air in a long while. You were now higher above the ground than you were tall.

He lifted you to his mouth, and you bared your neck as he pressed kiss after soft kiss into it. His whiskers were still rough against your skin, but that was a welcome feeling after going so long without it. Your eyes met again, and you let out a light giggle.

"I've missed you," he mumbled before resuming his activity.

"I've..." you started. How were you even going to begin to describe how you felt, those ten thousand years of sleepless nights waiting for him? That empty feeling of waiting, of not knowing whether your efforts were for nothing. Relief didn't even begin to cover how you were feeling. "I've missed you t-!"

He set you down and knelt before you again, pressing his lips onto yours and pressing you into the side of your house. The straps of your sundress were pushed up and to the side, and your eyes widened as his closed. After a minute, he pulled away.

"Too soon?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"N, no," you whimpered. You made no effort to pull the straps of your dress back up, thanking your lucky stars that you had no neighbors.

"Good," he said. "Now, help me take off my armor. I want to keep my promise to you."

"What-?"

"You're going to become a mother when I'm done with you."

Taglist: @bispecsual @justeverythingnothingelse @bleedingichorhearts @nekotaetae @historitor-bookshelf

#warhammer 40k x reader #primarch x reader #lion el'jonson x reader #lion el'jonson #reader insert #warhammer lobotomy #sry all mine have been short i really wish i could be Wordier but i am Not

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roseaesynstylae · 9 months ago

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So, the idea of the Bad Batch (minus Echo, plus Emerie) being the other half of the Nulls has consumed my goddamn mind. Therefore, as you do when an idea takes up residence in your frontal lobe for the foreseeable future, here's some headcanons.

The Bad Batch (except for Echo and Omega, who have no clue what's going on) hate the Nulls. As in, "murder on sight" hate them. From an in-universe perspective, there could be a myriad of reasons, ranging from feelings of abandonment to resentment over them having a better life. From a writer's standpoint, it's because I love me some good old familial dysfunction and angst.

The more...unhinged...tendencies the Nulls are known for manifests in the Bad Batch more as "let's jump off this cliff and use explosives to direct our fall!" and less as "hey, check out my new skin gloves!" Of course, if you push them too far, it's a different story. In order of least to most likely to pull a "lemme turn you into an art installation," it's Omega, Wrecker, Hunter, Crosshair, and Tech. Omega wouldn't do that, at least not at this point in her life. Wrecker, when enraged, goes for the just-hit-them solution. Hunter's a decent human being and usually wouldn't do something like that...Unless his kid's been kidnapped by a crazy Imperial doctor for the fifteenth time, on which point he starts becoming a little deranged. Crosshair hovers close to the line but wouldn't do it to someone unprovoked. Tech is a special case, in that he has to be pushed, but when he is, the results make the rest of the Nulls go "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST."

The Nulls want to reunite with their lost siblings and build a relationship, but that's kind of hard to do when said siblings (except Omega) keep trying to kill them on sight and none of them were built for intricate and deeply complicated emotional issues. Still, they persist. Eventually, they could probably get to the level of "awkward conversations" but it'll take a lot of work.

The Bad Batch have what makes the Nulls superior to regular clone troopers, plus their unique enhancements (which in this version are less defects and more Nala Se picking an attribute for each of them and cranking it up to 11). They feel that it makes them better than the Nulls, something they're not shy about expressing.

Emerie is the same height as her estranged (I can't think of a word that applies to this specific situation but this one will do) brothers, because I stan a tall queen.

Nala Se is smug as hell whenever she sees Orun Wa. "CT-9904 just broke all records for accuracy, CT-9902 discovered a new element, CT-9903 crushed beskar like it was paper, and CT-9901 tracked a man through five systems and a solar storm. What are your clones doing, again?"

There is no understating the sheer "wtf" that goes through the Nulls' heads when they first see Omega. But, of course, this is Omega. Imagine the cutest image of her you've seen, fanart or canon. That's what the Nulls see when they meet her. Unsurprisingly, the Nulls, who got the Mandalorian gene to adopt anything that isn't nailed down, go from "wtf" to "so smol 🥰" in roughly a minute.

Kal Skirata is in the corner. His attempt to interact with the Bad Batch did not go well. He casually calls Hunter "son," as he does with various characters, and the resulting explosion puts a thermal detonator to shame. Since it's clear that his presence is not making things better, he's sort of just in the corner.

The rest of Clan Skirata, and associates, are staying out of this. Gilamar and Vau took one look and retreated to the bar because they know better than to get involved. Everyone else witnessed one of the less acrimonious encounters and collectively decided that they are not jumping into the emotional equivalent of a pit of rabid wolverines.

Echo is the go-between. He does not want to be the go-between. But he's the only neutral party in this thing aside from Omega, and the rest of the Batch don't trust the Nulls with her.

Spare a though for 99. He raised four of these guys, often with the aid of leashes. Truly, he is an unsung hero of the Clone Wars

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andreafmn · 2 years ago

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Because It's You | Jacob Black Oneshot

Word Count: 11.1K Paring: Paul Lahote x Female!Reader, Jacob Black x Female!Reader Requested: Yes [@nyctophilia710: "Could you do a Jacob Black x Pregnant Reader One Shot. Y/N was a girl who recently moved to forks Washington, with her father Charlie Swan. The younger sister of Isabella Swan. Y/N falls for a guy named Paul Lahote, ends up getting pregnant with his child, who then cheats on her. Heart broken Y/N goes to an old friend Jacob Black, who she hasn’t seen in years and to much surprise Jacob Black imprints on his pack brothers pregnant ex girlfriend."] Story Description: After (Y/N) Swan moves back to Forks, Washington to live with her sister and her father, she meets one Paul Lahote. Even if her heart had always been spoken for by her childhood best friend, she still falls into a whirlwind romance with Paul that ends with a pregnancy and a betrayal. Can Jacob accept her even in her situation once they are fatefully bonded? Warnings: foul language, teen pregnancy, cheating, implied sexual relations A/N: An eternity and three days later, I finally worked on this request, but at least it's a long one 😬😬 and even though in this household we are Jacob haters, I loved writing him here. Hope you enjoy and that I did the request justice. 💖💖 Also, I'm thinking of doing a part two to this. Should I? My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing or buy me a coffeeTikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST If you’d like to be tagged in any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post!

Because It's You | Jacob Black Oneshot

Moving was something (Y/N) Swan was already used to. With her mother trailing her up and down, following Phil Dwyer until they finally settled in Florida. But the novelty of living in a hot crowded state had grown old and something inside her was calling to the coldness of Forks, Washington.

She didn’t understand the sudden urge to move back to her birthplace, but it remained incessant inside her. Growing every day that passed. Her skin itched for the gloomy nature of Forks. The rainy days, the freezing winters, the chilling winds, and the smell of the pines. Long gone was her love for the humid air, the bustling streets, and the burning sun of Jacksonville.

“Mom, can I talk to you?” (Y/N) peeked her head into her mother’s bedroom one day.

Renee smiled and patted the empty spot on the bed beside her. “Of course, honey. What’s up?”

“For some time now I’ve been thinking about moving to Forks with Bella and dad,” she confessed. “It’s not that I don’t like living here, don’t get me wrong. It’s simply that something keeps calling me over.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you don’t need to feel bad for wanting a change in scenery,” Renee consoled. “And I know that your father will be absolutely thrilled to have you there. And even though I will miss you a lot. I, more than many, understand the need to find a new pace.”

“I’m so happy you understand, mom,” she beamed. “I promise as soon as I can I’ll come and visit you. And I’ll call you as much as I can and send you messages.”

“Maybe you’ll finally get Bella out of that weird funk she’s in over that boy.”

“First loves are something that are hard to get over. That’s something you taught me.”

“Oh, me and my ramblings,” Renée chuckled. “Do you need any help packing up?”

“I’ve got it,” (Y/N) smiled. “Thanks, mom.”

The girl packed excitedly, a morose feeling creeping up her back. It wouldn’t be her first time in the cold and rainy lands of Forks, Washington. But it would be the first time she would remain there for the foreseeable future. A mix of nostalgia and anticipation crept through her veins and made their home in her heart.

The hardest part was saying goodbye to her mother. She would miss the woman’s sporadic need to change things up. Whether it was a wall color, a couch, or even a state, their household was always in a constant state of evolution. (Y/N) could never say her life felt monotonous.

Still, she embarked on the seven-hour journey to Washington, ready to start her new life and answer whatever call the town had made to her. She could feel it deep in her bones that there was a reason moving to Forks was the right decision for her, and she couldn’t wait to find out what it was.

Sleep overtook her two hours into the flight, her brain shutting down as tiredness flushed it. One second her eyes were focused on a book, the next, her head had fallen against the side of the plane and flashes of images started fluttering behind her eyelids.

But (Y/N) could not understand the visions that her subconscious played for her. She saw a gigantic wolf with russet-colored fur. She saw the back of a man with short brown hair and tan skin. She saw tears. But what jolted her awake was that she saw a baby. And the stewardess welcoming the passengers to Port Angeles, Washington.

She quickly gathered her things, unable to shake the image of that baby from her head. She couldn’t erase the image of the child’s coal black hair, its soft tan skin, its unforgettable big brown eyes. Every feature of the tiny baby had sewn into the very fibers of her brain. But she had to squash it down. To believe that what her imagination had conjured was only that, her imagination. (Y/N) was starting a new chapter and she did not want a silly dream to set off the tone for the rest of her book.

“I can’t believe how much you’ve grown,” Charlie Swan beamed as his eyes fell on his younger daughter. “I swear only yesterday you were a little girl asking to learn how to ride her bike.”

“Hey, dad,” she smiled, wrapping her arms around her father’s waist, sinking into the warmth of his body. “Can’t believe it’s been almost three years since I’ve seen you.”

“Yeah, three years too long,” he chuckled. “But I’m glad I’ve got both my girls with me now. Even if Bella is not quite herself right now.”

“Don’t worry, dad. We’ll get her back to being herself in no time.”

“I sure hope so, kiddo,” he sighed. “Now let’s get you home.”

Both Swans rolled suitcases and carried bags to the cruiser, joy wrapping around them comfortingly. (Y/N) had always loved visiting her dad. Even if it was only two months of the year, she enjoyed spending time with the awkward and lovable man.

Charlie had always tried hard to be a good father. He’d done everything he could to fit a whole year into eight weeks, trying with all his might to form a strong relationship with his daughters. He had always felt guilty for letting Renée take them without much fight, but he had believed it was the best decision for all of them. Even if he could only see his girls for a small amount, they would know how much they were loved.

“I have to warn you, kiddo, Bella is not herself,” Charlie finally spoke. “She’s kind of like the living dead. She goes to school, she goes to work, and she locks herself in her room. It’s like she’s stuck in autopilot and can’t turn it off.”

“Well, it’s her first-ever boyfriend. She’s probably still reeling from the fact that she lost her first love.”

“I guess,” he sighed defeatedly. “I just want her to get better. A boy is never worth your tears.”

It wasn’t long until they were parking in front of the house. The night was quiet, somehow unaware that there was now a new resident in its midst. Even the house had no idea that she had come home. Everything was just as she had remembered. From the couches to the curtains, to the dated kitchen, it was stuck in time.

“You’ve still got your same room,” Charlie smiled. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I kept it the same. We can change it up any time you want though. Buy some new paints and sheets or whatever.”

“Thanks, dad,” (Y/N) responded in kind. “And I’ll take you up on that offer. It’s been a while since I’ve liked bright green paint on my walls.”

“Alright, kiddo. Why don’t you go ahead and turn in for the night? Bella is definitely already in bed so you can try and catch up tomorrow afternoon after school,” he offered. “You start on Monday anyway, so you won’t see her until she comes back.”

“That’s done. I’m honestly exhausted and will probably sleep in,” she sighed contentedly. “Well, good night, dad.”

“Night, kiddo. Welcome home.”

Her childhood bedroom was truly exactly like the last time she had seen it. The walls were painted a painful neon lime green, the sheets a shade of teal that seemed too bright for the darkness of the night, and books and dolls littered shelves on the wall. She quickly felt like she had never left home. Only a couple of months into being sixteen and she had regressed to her thirteen-year-old self.

She could see herself spending her summer days in her room, playing make-believe, and imagining what it would have been like to spend more than two months living in Forks, Washington. She dreamed of how it would feel to spend the freezing winters bundled up in front of the fire and drinking hot chocolate. To watch the snow fall as she breathed in the scent of pines and damp soil. To know more of the souls that lived in the small town and the reservation.

After her eyes ran across the room, they fell on a little wolf carved out of redwood. She had forgotten it had existed, but looking at it then made a smile spread across her face. It was choppy and amateurly made, but it had been a sweet token of appreciation from a dear friend.

They had been but ten-year-old kids playing around the barn behind the Black residence. Jacob Black had been excited to show (Y/N) something he had made her, his face lit up with excitement. He dug into the pockets of his too-big-fit cargo pants and pulled out the little wolf.

“Mom used to say that wolves are a totem of protection,” he said sheepishly. “I want to make sure you have something that’s always protecting you. Even if it might seem like it’s all make-believe, but good vibes and everything.”

“It’s beautiful, Jake,” she had smiled. “I’ll keep it with me always.”

“Good, I don’t want anything to ever happen to you.”

“What’s that?” Bella had asked, joining the kids after going to the bathroom. She was already a head taller than the other two, and the fact that she was thirteen already was evident in how disinterested she had been to spend time with her sister and their friend. “It looks bad. Like you couldn’t have spent more than five bucks on it.”

“I made it,” Jake had peeped, his skin turning a deep hue of red. “I spent a whole month working on it.”

“Oh,” she had answered, taking it from her sister’s hands and inspecting it. “It’s cute.”

“Well, I think it’s amazing.” (Y/N) had snatched the totem back. “And it’s mine so your opinion doesn’t really matter, Bella.”

“It’s okay, (Y/N). You don’t have to say it’s good,” Jake shrugged. “I can take it back.”

“No, you have it to me, and I love it. You can’t take gifts back.”

She couldn’t believe she had forgotten the little totem had existed. She ran her fingers over the carved fur, the lopsided snout, the painted black eyes, and the slightly sharp ears. It was still as beautiful to her as she had thought the first time she had seen it. And it made her think of the boy she had grown up with.

It made her wonder how he looked. How tall he had become, how long his hair could have gotten, how broad his shoulders could have become. She wondered if his smile was just as bright, if his hugs were just as warm, and if his laughter was just as melodious. She wanted to know if he was still the same boy she had loved since she was a kid.

The next morning, rather the afternoon, she had woken to the sun beaming on her face. Even in the midst of the January snow, the sun was as bright. (Y/N) stretched out the soreness in her muscles, the seven hours sat on a plane taking a toll on her body. She rolled out of her bed, her eyes taking a second to adjust to her new surroundings. She wasn’t back in her room in Florida, wondering which shorts she would wear to take on the ravishing humidity and heat. She was in Forks now, rummaging through her suitcases for the warmest sweater she owned.

After she had gotten dressed, she noticed the note that had been taped to the door, her father’s scribbly handwriting evident from far away. She took the paper in her hands, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Thought you might need some wheels to get around, kiddo. It might not be too new, but it runs perfectly. You have Jake to thank for that. Keys are on the kitchen table. J

The girl took off in a run, excitement running through her veins. Before going outside and seeing her new car, she stopped by the kitchen grabbing the keys and a chocolate chip muffin. Outside, a 1971 baby blue C-10 Chevy pickup truck was parked on the driveway, a thin sheet of white snow covering the car. It had been the very car she had been obsessed with since she was a kid and she had started to love cars just like Jake had.

She sat on the driver’s seat, turning on the engine, allowing the car to warm up. Her eyes unconsciously closed, reveling in the rumbling of the car and the warmth that the heater blew. The truck sounded beautiful, as beautiful as she thought it would have been in the 70s, maybe even better. Her fingers traced the inside of the car. She touched the gear shift and the steering wheel. She grazed the stereo that had definitely been replaced and the soft leather seats that had been clearly upholstered. It was perfect.

Jake had outdone himself with the car and it had made her heart flutter that he had put so much care into fixing it. All she wanted was to thank him. And that’s exactly what she had planned to do.

She remembered the road that led to the La Push reservation like the back of her hand. She had spent so many summer days there while her father worked, and she had been excited every single day she went there. The same excitement she felt as she parked by the beach to wait until the high school let out and she could finally see Jacob.

She found a spot on the beach, sitting on a piece of driftwood, watching as the waves rolled in and out of the shore. Even in winter, the reservation was always just a bit warmer, a bit cozier. (Y/N) had always enjoyed the time she spent there just as much as she loved Forks. She loved going to bonfires and splashing around on the beach. She loved the people that lived there and how welcoming they had always been toward her.

A loud hooting broke (Y/N)’s trance, her head snapping to the right end of the beach, not too far from her, where three boys were shouting from the top of a cliff. They were all tall and of deep-tanned skin, their hair chopped similarly, and something she could only assume was a tattoo on the right biceps of each of their arms. She couldn’t believe they were thinking of jumping into the ice-cold ocean, much less than she could believe how little clothes they were wearing.

Her eyes focused on the way the first one jumped, going straight down with a joyful scream before he slipped effortlessly into the water. He disappeared for a second into the dark waves, before he resurfaced with a cocky grin on his face. As he swam to shore, the second boy jumped and her head snapped to see him plummet just as flawlessly into the water.

“You’re not from around here,” a voice called her attention. It was the first boy. His dark brown hair was dripping, the drops falling onto his bare chest. “I would have remembered a pretty face like yours.”

(Y/N) could feel her cheeks growing red, the warmth that filled her body pooling in her face. “I’m not from around here, you’re right,” she smiled. “I’m from Forks. But I used to come here a lot when I was a kid.”

“And why haven’t you been here since then?”

“I just moved back,” she responded. “I’m (Y/N) Swan.”

“The sheriff’s younger daughter,” he said with a grin, sitting next to her. “I’m Paul Lahote. And on behalf of all the residents of La Push, I formally welcome you back to Washington.”

“Well; thank you, Mr. Lahote,” she chuckled. “It’s good to be back.”

“So, are you back for a visit or are you back for good?”

“And why would that be important information, Paul?” (Y/N) smiled teasingly.

“Well, if you’re just here for a visit then I won’t ask you out,” he smiled deviously. “If you’re here for good, then I’m not leaving until you say yes.”

“What if I say now?”

“I don’t take no for an answer.”

“Good,” she grinned the same way he had. “Because I was going to say yes.”

That very afternoon (Y/N) went home with a smile on her face, a new number in her directory, and a forgotten boy pushed into a dark corner of her brain. Her head had been filled with the image of a new one. Paul Lahote’s face had engrained itself in her, sending a rush of dopamine and serotonin through her body.

It wasn’t long until weeks had passed, and she seemed to be spending more and more time with one Paul. She had started visiting the reservation more and more, but it had never been to see the one person she had promised herself to reconnect with. She was spending her time with the Lahote boy, doing much more than just talking. She was sure that she was falling in love. At least she hoped that’s what it was.

Her schedule had become packed. It had been completely occupied by school, long dates in Port Angeles and the rez, and trying to get her sister out of the funk that had started to make the house reek. (Y/N) had grown tired of it and so had Charlie. Bella needed to make a change, for herself and her family.

Though as more time passed it seemed that Bella had found something to occupy her mind. The older Swan seemed to be in the house less and less, leaving early on weekends and coming home late, mimicking her little sister’s behavior. If she wasn’t at school or at work, she would be out of the house with the one person (Y/N) had seemed to forget.

“Why do you think she hasn’t come see me?” Jake had asked Bella one day as they worked on the motorcycles. “She’s been here almost a full month and I have yet to see her.”

“I don’t really know,” she shrugged. “She’s barely in the house when I’m there and I honestly haven’t asked.”

“I just thought…”

“Why haven’t you gone to see her? When I got here you were one of the first people on the welcoming committee.”

“Yeah, and look how well that turned out for me,” he chuckled dryly. “I just want it to come from her to want to see me. I don’t wanna ambush her.”

“Is this about the little crush you used to have on her when you were kids?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he blubbered.

“It was obvious you two liked each other. You would get so red in the face and nervous when she was around,” Bella laughed. “You would get all flustered and tongue-tied, it was cute.”

“Was it that obvious?”

“A blind person would have seen it,” she grinned. “But it doesn’t matter now.”

“What’re you talking about?” Jake questioned, his brows furrowing in curiosity. “Why doesn’t it matter, Bella?”

“She’s been dating one of Sam Uley’s friends. Uh, Paul Lahote I think he’s called,” Bella responded. She could see anger surging through him, his body shaking slightly with ire. “She basically spends all her time with him. I’m surprised you haven’t run into them here.”

“I haven’t,” he spoke through gritted teeth. “He’s not a good guy, Bella. You need to tell her to stay away from him.”

“You and I both know that no one can tell (Y/N) what to do,” she chuckled slightly. “And why shouldn’t she date whoever she wants? He hasn’t done anything bad to her.”

“But he will,” Jake spat. “Paul Lahote is bad news, and it won’t take long before he breaks (Y/N)’s heart.”

“Why do you care so much, Jake?” Bella pushed, for some reason growing annoyed at her friend. “She’s old enough to do whatever she wants. No, to be with whoever she wants. It’s not really my place to tell her who she can or can’t date.”

“You’re her older sister, Bella!” the boy exclaimed. “Why do I care? Why don’t you care enough?!”

“I do care,” she argued. “But I also know what it’s like when people start to comment on who you can and can’t be with. I’m not doing that to her.”

“So, you wouldn’t stop what happened to you from happening to her?” He was blind with anger now. He had closed any space between them, staring her down. “You would rather let her be heartbroken and try and protect her from getting hurt? You’d rather both of you be miserable than spare her the pain that I know she will be in? You have a chance to spare her heartache, Bella. You owe your sister that much.”

“What about you, Jake?” Bella added, standing her ground, and facing up to him. “Why don’t you tell her that Paul is such a bad guy? Why don’t you spare her all this hypothetical heartache instead of forcing me to do it for you? Or are you too scared to face her since she has someone else to occupy her time?”

“If she hasn’t come to see me, it’s clear she didn’t want to,” he said, his voice clearly broken. “But I am begging you. Tell her. It’s not a matter of how, but when he will do something to hurt her.”

“(Y/N) can make her own decisions,” Bella responded. “Heartbreak is a part of life. She’ll get over it.”

“Like you have?” Jacob called as the girl had started to make her way to her car. “If something goes wrong, it’ll be on you, Bella.”

“No, it’ll be on the both of us.”

But they didn’t know that moment would come sooner than they could have thought.

(Y/N) had not been feeling well for at least a week. Her body felt sore, and her stomach felt uneasy. Nothing she ate stayed down long enough to fill the unbearable hunger she seemed to have. She felt as awful as could be and she was ready to pass out by drinking the cold and flu medicine she was holding in the pharmacy.

But as she perused the aisles of the brightly lit establishment, her eyes fell on the sleuth of pink and purple boxes that were yelling at her. It was a hard thing to fathom, but it was a perfectly plausible explanation to how she was feeling. Her symptoms, and the fact that she had missed her monthly in January, were to the book the thing she was most dreading.

Time seemed to warp as she drove home, two pink boxes buried deep in her purse. One second, she was cowering from the cashier, embarrassed as she placed the boxes on the counter. And the next, she was making a beeline to the bathroom, locking herself inside as her father and sister called for her.

She had never thought five minutes could ever feel so long.

Five minutes and she would know if her whole life was about to change.

Dread was the only feeling that washed over her. As the seconds counted down, she could feel her heart dropping. Deep down, she knew what the answer would be. She knew that when the time was finally over, she would l have to accept her new reality. It was daunting. She was only sixteen and she was on her way to face one of the most life-changing events that anyone could go through.

(Y/N) could have never thought that a pink cross on a piece of plastic could be so permanent. She was holding the pregnancy tests in her hand, the two of them producing a very dark pink plus sign. There was no denying that they were positive. There was no denying that at that very moment, inside her body, was a bundle of cells multiplying to create a baby.

“Hey, kiddo,” Charlie called out from the other side of the door. His voice startled her, making the tests clatter loudly against the sink. “What was that? Is everything okay, (Y/N)?”

“Uh, yeah, dad,” she choked out as she finally opened the door. “Everything’s fine. Just knocked over the toothbrushes.”

“Are you sure, kid? You look paler than a ghost.”

“I’m fine, dad,” she said, trying her best to give a convincing smile. “I actually just remembered I have to run out for a bit. Miriam just texted me and I forgot to give back her science textbook and she has a test tomorrow. I’m gonna go give it to her.”

“Okay, honey. As long as you’re okay,” he responded. Charlie could tell there was something lingering underneath his daughter’s smile, but he could see how hard she was trying to hide whatever it was. “Be careful on the road, alright? And don’t come home too late.”

“I will. I’ll, uh, see you guys later.”

In an instant, she was back in her truck and speeding down to the reservation. At that moment, she needed Paul’s comfort. She needed him to tell her that everything would be okay, and that they would figure things out together. She craved feeling his warm arms around him and listening to the soft coo of his voice as he calmed her down. All she wanted was him.

She reached the Lahote residence in record time, jumping out of the car and running to the front door. (Y/N) knocked against the blue-painted wood frantically, calling Paul’s name incessantly. She knew his father wouldn’t be home that night, taking night shifts was something he was prone to and that day had not been different. The girl rapped on the door, over and over again, until it finally swung open.

“(Y/N)!” Paul exclaimed in surprise. “What are you doing here, baby? I wasn’t expecting you.”

Overwhelming anxiety burst inside the girl and all she could do to not break down in front of him was to wrap her arms around his waist tightly. “We gotta talk, Paul,” she cried softly. “It’s… I don’t know how it happened l, but… I’m just so scared.”

“What’re you talking about, (Y/N)? You’re not making any sense.”

The youngest Swan couldn’t find the words to tell him. She wanted what she said to be perfect. For there to be no flaw to her monologue that could make him desist of the idea that this was what was meant to happen. That maybe it was a sign that they were always meant to meet and be together for the rest of time.

But a voice suddenly burst the delusion that (Y/N) had built in her head. “Paul, baby, come back to bed,” the voice whined. “Get rid of whoever’s at the door.”

(Y/N) released herself from Paul’s grasp, feeling as though his touch had burned her. He looks like a deer caught in headlights, surprise opening his eyes. “Who is that?” (Y/N) asked sternly, making the boy scramble for words. “Do you have another fucking girl in your room right now, Paul?”

“It’s not what it looks like, (Y/N).”

“Not what it looks like?! She just called you back to bed, baby,” she mocked. “I am pretty sure you’re not in there helping her with homework.”

Paul’s shocked expression didn’t last long. His agape mouth and huge eyes were instantly replaced by a stoic mask. “So, what, (Y/N)?” Paul spat. “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Nothing wrong?!” (Y/N) yelled. “You’re cheating on me! How can you think you haven’t done anything wrong?”

“How could I be cheating?” he shrugged. “You and I were never exclusive.”

The girl felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Her chest tightened, squeezing out whatever little breath that was left in her lungs. She felt warm tears fall from her eyes before she could do anything to stop them.

“I thought you actually loved me,” she said with a broken voice. “Did I mean nothing to you?”

“Look, (Y/N), you’re a great girl, but you had to know this was gonna end sooner or later,” Paul said. “Let’s just call this what it is, a fling. We were just having fun.”

“It wasn’t a fling to me! I fell for you, Paul! I loved you.”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N, but I thought you knew what this was,” he sighed. “We were never gonna last long anyway.”

“I can’t believe this,” she said to herself. “I’m such an idiot. How could I have ever believed you?”

“At the end of the day, I hope we can still be friends.”

Now it was (Y/N)’s turn to be completely aghast. She had borne her heart to him; she had given him her time, her body, her soul. She had trusted that he returned the sentiment, even if it was a fraction of what she felt for him –that would have been enough. But he didn’t. He never had. And he was asking her to remain in his life as a friend with a sickening grin on his face.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to claw out that smile he was giving her. Still, deep down, she wanted him to choose her, to want her, to need her. She wanted him to be devastated that he was losing her, devastated that he had hurt her. Instead, he was giving her empty promises of friendships, and devaluing her as nothing more than a way to pass the time. She was carrying his child and he wanted them to be friends.

“You know what, Paul? You can take your friendship and shove it up that girl’s ass,” she spat. “I don’t want you to call me, I don’t wanna see you, I don’t wanna even remember that you exist. You will regret this, Paul. You don’t even know how much right now.”

(Y/N) got into her car, ignoring Paul’s calls of her name. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her cry and revel in the fact that he was the one that had made her spill tears. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how deep her hurt was.

Only when she was in the safety of her truck and far enough away that he couldn’t see her did she allow the water to stream down her cheeks. It was an overwhelming surge of emotions –betrayal, heartbreak, sadness. All she wanted was to not feel that way, not anymore, not ever again.

In her distraction, she didn’t notice the person crossing the street. Only when she was seconds away from crashing into them did she look up and slammed on her brakes. The stranger braced themselves, their hands landing on the hood of her car, their face shielded by the hoodie they wore. Until they raised their head and (Y/N)’s world came crashing down.

The brown eyes that stared at her unmistakably belonged to the one person she had yet to see since she had come back to Forks, Washington. He seemed frozen for a second. Standing there in the middle of the night, staring at a specter from his past. All the questions she’d had about him, answer in a swift second.

Jacob didn’t understand what Sam had meant when he had explained imprinting. The shift in gravity, the way your whole being seems to incline toward that one person. Nothing else matters but them. He thought it was fiction. A way he could explain choosing his ex’s cousin after breaking her heart. But at that very second, he knew just how true it was.

The second he locked eyes with (Y/N) he felt it in the pit of his soul. He was almost sure he could see the way his world had changed, and everything became her, became about her. In that instant, he could feel her sadness. Whatever pain was tormenting her, he could feel it wrenching its way into his own heart. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything would be okay.

Instead, he kept quiet. He looked into her tear-streaked eyes, and he ran. He ran until his legs were burning with pain, until his lungs were begging for air, until his whole body hurt to be near her again. He understood Sam, but he didn’t want to. He had even gone as far as trying to force himself to imprint on Bella, that way he could forget the void that (Y/N) had created in his heart.

(Y/N) had avoided him for over a month. She had come home, and she had yet to even show her face to say hello to his father. She had preferred to run to the arms of Paul Lahote and forget the people that cared about her.

Most of his childhood he had hoped for a moment like this with her. A sign from the universe that she was the person meant for him. Even at his young age, he knew what love felt like. Jake had experienced it the moment he laid eyes on (Y/N). But she had made the decision to invest her time with someone he knew would only break her. A guy that would use her until there was nothing left and discard her the second he got bored.

And something told him that’s exactly what Paul had done.

He didn’t know where he was going until he was standing in front of the blue-colored door, banging loudly against it. “Paul!” Jake screamed. “Open this god-dammed door!”

“What the hell is up with people tonight?” Paul grumbled as he swung the door open. “What the hell do you want, Jacob?”

“What did you do to (Y/N)?” the boy said, fuming.

“What’re you talking about, Jake?” Paul pretended. “I haven’t done anything.”

“I just saw her, driving away and absolutely destroyed,” he seethed. “So, I’m gonna ask you again. What the hell did you do to her?”

“Why do you suddenly care about her, Jacob? It’s been over a month, and you haven’t even said hello to her,” he deflected, a mischievous laugh leaving his mouth. “Could it be because you just imprinted on her? Maybe you should be worrying about that rather than trying to pick a fight with me.”

“We’re not talking about me, right now. Now, I’ll be the bigger man and not access your thoughts, because I don’t need them to know what a jackass you are and that you’re the one that hurt her,” Jacob retorted, squaring up to Paul and staring him down. “So, I will ask you one last time before I beat the shit out of you for absolutely no reason, what the fuck did you do to (Y/N)?”

“I just reminded her that what was happening between us was just a bit of fun,” he shrugged, chuckling. “It’s not my fault she built up a whole fantasy in her head about us.”

“She was in love with you, and you broke her heart,” Jake scoffed. “Tell me was it worth it?”

“What was worth it?”

“Losing the best girl you could’ve had by your side all for a night of fun.”

(Y/N) didn’t take much time to dwell on why Jake had run away, or why her heart wrenched tighter as he left. She could only process one thing at a time and the most pressing matter was the fact that she was pregnant, the baby’s father had cheated on her –or sort of cheated—and she was left to decide what to do all by herself.

The second she got back home, she ran up the stairs and into her room. Once more ignoring her father’s calls to her name. She simply wanted to sink into her bed and disappear, to make every bad thing that had occurred in the last hour disappear. If that was only a fraction of how her sister was feeling, she never wanted to know the expanse of that pain. All she wanted was for things to stop.

“Hey, kiddo. Can I come in?” Charlie knocked softly on her door. He couldn’t bring himself to pass the threshold. Not without her confirmation. It wasn’t until she nodded softly, her face mostly shielded by the pillow she held tightly, that he entered the room. “Talk to me, (Y/N), what’s going on? And I’m assuming this isn’t about a textbook.”

“It’s not,” (Y/N)’s broken voice peeped. “I screwed up, dad.”

Charlie sat beside her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her. She shifted her hold from the pillow to her father, enjoying the comforting warmth from his body, allowing it to ease the pain she felt. As she settled against him, he had started rubbing her back, letting her empty herself of tears on him.

“What happened, kiddo?” he said, trying his best to not let his voice break as he stared at his youngest daughter. It was the first time he had seen her so distraught, and it broke him just as much as he had broken when Bella had been in that kind of pain. “I’m sure we can fix whatever it is, but you’ve gotta talk to me, kid. I can’t fix it if you don’t talk.”

“You’re gonna hate me for it,” she sobbed. “And I can’t take you hating me, dad.”

“Honey, there is absolutely nothing in this world you can do that will ever make me hate you,” he said, staring deeply into her reddened eyes, a hand on her wet cheek. “Even if you tell me right now that you’ve killed someone, I could never hate you.”

“You can’t say that, dad,” she chuckled. “You’re the sheriff.”

“No, but it made you laugh,” he smiled. “Now, come on, tell me what’s wrong, (Y/N).”

(Y/N) finally sat up, unable to face her father as she confessed what happened. She could not witness the look of disappointment she was sure would befall on his face. “I found out I was pregnant tonight,” she sighed defeatedly. “I went to see the father when I told you I was going to Miriam’s house, but I caught him cheating and I couldn’t even tell him. And now, I’m pregnant and alone, and I don’t know what to do, dad. I’m so scared.”

Instead of anger and displeasure, her father surprised her by wrapping her in a tight embrace. He cooed her as she sobbed into the hug, letting herself fall apart in Charlie’s arms. She had been so sure that he would yell at her, chastise her for being a stupid child. But he had never been that type of man, and he never would be. “Oh, honey,” he said as he smoothed down her hair. “You’re not alone, kiddo. You’re never going to be alone in anything as long as I’m around.”

“I screwed up, dad,” she cried against his chest. “I don’t know what to do and I’m terrified.”

“Well, we’ll go to the doctor as soon as we can and we can weigh out your options,” he offered. “It’s up to you whether you wanna keep it, if you wanna give it up for adoption, or if you don’t wanna have it at all.”

“I don’t… I don’t think I wanna give it up, dad,” (Y/N) responded sheepishly. It was the first thing she had told herself. No matter what, she wanted to go through the pregnancy –with or without Paul. “Even if I have to do it by myself, I want to have this baby.”

“Again, you’re not alone, kid,” he smiled. “And if keeping the baby is what you want then that’s what we’ll do.”

“He’s right, (Y/N),” Bella added. She joined her father and sister on her bed, a soft smile stretching the corners of her mouth. “I know I haven’t been there for you for a while –I haven’t been me for a while—but you are never alone. You will always have us.”

“That’s right,” Charlie beamed, his two daughters wrapped in his arms. “We’ll take it one day at a time, kid. And let me know the kid’s name. I might have a way to scare him straight. You think a night in a jail cell would do?”

“That’s illegal, Charlie,” Bella laughed. “But, for him, I think it’s worth it.”

“He’s not worth even another thought,” (Y/N) joined. “But thank you for offering, dad.”

“Sure thing, kiddo,” he grinned. “Now, I’ll still make that doctor’s appointment as soon as possible and we’ll see what our next steps are. You’ll also have to tell your mom, but we can do that together. You should get some rest right now.”

“Thanks, dad. For everything.”

“You’re never alone, kid. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“I’m so sorry this happened, (Y/N),” Bella said as soon as Charlie had left the room. “I should have prevented this.”

“There was no way you could have known, Bells,” she sighed. “Paul is just a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing.”

“But I did know. Not about the cheating but that he was a bad guy. Jacob told me.”

At the sound of Jacob’s name, her heart panged. The very boy that had been in her head since she was little. The very boy that had run away from her only an hour before. “Don’t blame yourself,” she added. “I don’t think I would have listened to you. I was so blinded by him that I would have probably fought you about it. It’s on me that I didn’t see the signs.”

“No, (Y/N). It’s on him for being a shitty guy.”

“I guess,” she chuckled. “But I’ve also been a shitty person. I’ve been here for such a long time already and I haven’t gone to see Jake. I’m a horrible friend.”

“Unfortunately, that I can’t spin,” she grimaced. “But so is he. Contact goes both ways, and he hasn’t come to see you either. And he’s been avoiding me for a while too.”

“I saw him tonight,” she added meekly. “I almost ran him over.”

“You did?! What happened?”

“He ran away,” (Y/N) shrugged. “He stared at me for a second and then he ran.”

“That boy needs to stop disappearing like that,” she sighed. “He came over the other night. Told me he was avoiding me for a reason that he couldn’t explain. I’m gonna go confront him about it tomorrow.”

“Can I come? I think seeing you yell at him will cheer me up.”

“I think having you there will make him more nervous,” she grinned at her sister. “And I don’t know if that’s better or worse.”

“Why would he get nervous?” (Y/N) questioned, her curiosity quickly peaking. “It’s just me. Bella’s little sister.”

“Are you serious?”

Bella was staring at her like she had muttered the dumbest words she had heard, but she had only said what she truly believed. Jake had always had a crush on Bella and (Y/N) was just her little sister. “He’s always been in love with you, Bells,” she said. “It’s obvious.”

“Oh my god, you are serious,” Bella said in disbelief. “You know it’s you he’s always been in love with. It's so painfully obvious.”

“What’re you talking about? He was always hanging around you when we were there, he even sought you out when you came to live with Charlie. Sounds to me like he’s always crushed on you.”

“Okay, first of all, the only reason he was always hanging around me was when you were around. He only used me as an excuse,” she retorted. “And when I came to live in Forks you were the first thing he asked me about. He’s been in love with you since we were kids, (Y/N). I honestly can’t believe you never noticed.”

“How could I if I really thought he liked you?” the girl cried as she covered her face in embarrassment. “Oh god, I’m an awful person. The only reason I went after Paul was because I thought I had no chance with Jake. Now I’m definitely never gonna have it.”

“Why not? You’re a great catch.”

“I’m a single pregnant teen that hasn’t even finished high school,” she told her sister. “Sure, great catch.”

“You’re also kind, you’re smart, you’re beautiful, and anyone would be lucky to have you by their side,” Bella said with a smile. “And if Jake can’t see that then he’s not the right guy for you. It’s not like he’s the poster child for perfection.”

“But why would he ever be with me when I tried to replace him with Paul? Jake knew he was a bad guy and that I chose to be with Paul over him.”

“Look, I don’t know how tomorrow’s gonna go, but I think it’s best if you do come with me.”

“Why? What could go wrong?”

“Just rest tonight and I promise everything will be answered tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she responded, still not understanding her sister’s reluctance to answer. “Well then, good night, Bells. I’m grateful you’re my sister.”

“I’m grateful too, (Y/N). Good night.”

“Night.”

The next day couldn’t come soon enough.

(Y/N) had spent the whole night tossing and turning in her bed. The daunting realization that she was growing a human being inside her weighing on her like a thousand bricks. She was set on her decision. She wanted to keep the baby and she would do it without Paul. But he wasn’t the boy that was running through her head anymore. Instead, she could not stop thinking about what Bella had told her. She was still hesitant to believe that Jake loved her. He’d never given her any indication that he did, at least not ones she had noticed.

“Ready to go?” Bella asked, breaking (Y/N) out of her trance. “Got the car all warmed up already.”

“Yeah, just a sec.” The youngest Swan gave herself a once over, trying to look perfect. No, trying to look strong. “I’m ready.”

The sisters talked and laughed like they hadn’t the whole time they had been reunited with each other. They had both led such different lives at that point that it felt like they had abandoned the other. But that wasn’t far from the truth. At the end of the day, they would always have each other’s back.

Bella parked her truck near the Black’s house, killing the engine before she turned toward her sister. “Look, I don’t know how to explain this, but you might hear some things that sound almost made up,” she said. “But they’re not. As crazy as it might sound, they are 100% true.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Bella?”

“I just –ugh—I don’t know how to tell you this without sounding like I’ve lost my mind,” she said, her eyes begging her sister for reassurance. “But, if you really wanna be in Jake’s world, it’s only fair that you know the truth. About him… and even about Paul.”

“Paul? What do you know about Paul?”

“Do you remember the stories Billy used to tell us when we were little?” Bella started, carefully picking her next words. “The stories about the reservation and their ancestors?”

“Vaguely.”

“You remember the stories about wolves and cold ones, right?”

“Yeah,” she chuckled. “But those were just legends and stories to explain the divide between lands. What about them?”

“They’re real, (Y/N),” Bella finally admitted. “Every single thing that they told us is real.”

“Come on, Bella,” the girl smiled, not too convinced by her sister’s words. “You’re telling me that you dated a vampire. And, what? That Paul and Jake are werewolves? That’s completely fantastical. Vampires and werewolves aren’t real. Next thing you’re gonna tell me that the tooth fairy and Santa Claus exist?”

“I’m serious, (Y/N),” she said firmly, her sister’s laughter dying as soon as she looked into Bella’s eyes. “I’ve seen it. It’s real”

“So, you’ve seen Jake turning into a wolf and seen your ex drink blood? What about that doesn’t sound made up?”

“Fine,” she resigned. “If you don’t believe me. Maybe you’ll believe Jake. Now, come on.”

(Y/N) followed Bella to the red cabin, her words swimming around in her mind. Talk about the supernatural had never been something her sister had been interested in, and there she was claiming that it was all real. It couldn’t be. It was just too much.

“We need to see him,” Bella said as soon as Billy opened the door.

His eyes ran from her to (Y/N), thinking over what his response would be. “He’s not in,” the man responded.

But Bella would not give in. She knew better. “Okay, I’m sorry,” she said before stepping aside and pulling (Y/N) with her. “But we really need to see him.”

“Girls!”

(Y/N) didn’t understand what was happening. She felt like she was stuck in a bad dream where no one was making any sense. When her sister opened Jake’s bedroom door and she saw him sleeping, the girl felt her heart squeeze once more in her chest. Ever since their encounter the night before, it hadn’t stopped doing that. It hadn’t stopped calling for him.

“He looks exhausted,” (Y/N) whispered.

“I think I know why,” her sister muttered, her gaze falling on the four figures that were walking up to Jake’s house. “Wait here.”

“What why?” the younger girl questioned before following her sister’s sightline. “Why is Paul here?”

“If you still don’t believe me, you’ll believe me now.”

Bella marched out of the house, leaving her sister reeling with more and more questions.

“She told you,” Billy’s voice startled her. “You don’t believe her.”

His words seemed to want to be questions, but she could tell he was merely stating facts. “How can I, Billy?” she said. “We’re talking about the existence of supernatural creatures right in our backyard. Those things are stories you tell kids to feed their imagination. They can’t be real.”

“It is,” Jake’s voice joined. She turned to face him, any unease dissipating as she looked into his dark eyes. “I promise I’ll explain everything, but right now. I need to make sure your sister doesn’t get hurt.”

“What’re you…?”

Before she could finish talking, she heard her sister yelling outside. She followed Jacob out of the house, all in time to see Bella slapping Paul straight across the face. And everything that happened next seemed to muddle.

Where Paul stood in a split second was a silver-furred wolf baring its teeth toward her sister. Then, Jacob ran past her, jumping over Bella and transforming into a russet-colored wolf himself. The same wolf she had seen in her dream. The two animals fought each other, all teeth and claws, all snarls and growls. Even as it happened before her, it was still just as unbelievable.

Once the two wolves had disappeared into the tree line, did the older man of the group speak up. He told Jared and Embry –the two boys she had met that fateful day on the beach—to take her and Bella back to someone’s, named Emily, place. The duo quickly followed orders, jumping into the bed of Bella’s truck, never looking over to (Y/N).

The older Swan motioned for her sister to join them, telling her to get back in the car. But (Y/N) was still reeling. She still felt like she was trapped in a harrowing nightmare, waiting for the second she would wake up. All she could think of was the dream that had shaken her as she arrived in Forks. Because it hadn’t been a dream. It had been a premonition.

(Y/N) had yet to say a word, simply following the others to know what to do. Whatever they said or did, she wasn’t sure. The world around her had blurred and nothing made sense. At that moment, all she wanted was to know that Jacob was okay. The very fabric of what she knew reality to be had been changed and all she wanted to do was make sure that he was safe.

She didn’t even notice when she had entered the little house. Her gaze was far away, her mind completely disassociated from the situation. Emily, who she now knew was Sam’s fiancée and she couldn’t stare at, had offered her food or something to drink, but she couldn’t even respond. She simply shook her head and sunk into the background.

Everyone was speaking of werewolves and vampires like it was the most normal thing in the world, but it wasn’t, and (Y/N) knew that. And it seemed that Emily could tell that the girl was finding the information hard to digest.

“It gets easier,” she told her, breaking her out of her trance. “I know right now it might seem like nothing makes sense, but you get used to it.”

“I just saw two men rip their skin and turn into massive wolves,” (Y/N) finally spoke. “Don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”

“I know how you’re feeling. When Sam told me for the first time, I was sure he had lost her mind,” she smiled. “Something tells me that once Jacob talks to you a lot of things will click into place.”

As Emily handed her a glass of water, Sam walked into the house, kissing her deeply. They were the definition of being in love. She couldn’t help but feel it when she saw them. It was what she had always dreamed of, and it was what she thought she had with Paul until the night before. It was what she had once wanted with Jacob too.

After Sam came Paul and Jacob. They were wearing matching scowls, walking as far from each other as possible. Paul entered the house, his eyes never landing on (Y/N)’s. Suddenly, the house went eerily quiet. Now knowing that they all shared thoughts, the girl knew that everyone was aware of what had happened between her and Paul.

(Y/N) felt like the walls were closing in on her and the looks of pity all the guys had given her finally made sense. She could barely breathe, and her heart hammered harshly in her chest. She needed to get out, she couldn’t be in the same space as him. Not right now. She tried to stumble out of the house, clutching at whatever she could to stabilize her body.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Bella tried to draw her attention, following her sister outside. “You’ve gotta breathe.”

But she couldn’t. Her lungs were aching, and her throat felt tight. Already, her vision was blurry with tears “I-I… I gotta…”

“Breathe, (Y/N). Breathe.”

“I can’t,” she struggled. “I-I… I can’t.”

Then, warm arms were wrapping around her, a hand running through her hair. “You’re okay, (Y/N),” Jake whispered. “I need you to breathe with me, okay?”

She nodded softly, her sobs choking her. Still, she followed the movement of Jacob’s chest, taking shaky breaths in and blowing them out seconds after. They could have been there forever and (Y/N) would have never known how much time had actually passed. But at some point, her breathing stabilized and she felt like her body was functioning properly.

“There you go,” Jacob smiled. “See? You’re okay.”

“I think I’m going crazy,” she chuckled dryly. “Nothing makes sense.”

“Let’s go for a walk, okay?” She nodded in response. “We’ll talk later, Bella.”

“Yeah, go ahead,” she said. “Make sure she’s okay. I have some words for someone else right now.”

Jake and (Y/N) walked side by side, neither daring to say the first word. The truth was, there was just too much unsaid between them and they had no idea where to start. There had already been so much change in a day that they didn’t know how much they could take.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” Jake finally spoke. “Firstly, for the way you found out about all of this. And secondly, for me running away last night. I’m sure you have a million questions.”

“I do,” she chuckled, staring down at the way the creek they were walking through rushed beneath her feet. “But I also want to apologize for not going to see you as soon as I got her. I actually tried… that’s when I met Paul.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, (Y/N). I didn’t seek you out either and I’ve been beating myself about it ever since,” he sighed. “I should have told you about Paul. I should have protected you from him, but I didn’t, and he broke your heart.”

“It’s not on you, Jake. It’s not on anyone but him. He knew what he was doing and that’s that,” she said. “But I don’t really want to talk about him. I want to know about everything else. You’re a werewolf.”

“Last time I checked, yeah,” he chuckled. “Only a few people in the tribe have the gene. It gets triggered when there are vampires in the area.”

“Bella’s ex and their family.”

“Yeah, and any that are passing by,” he confirmed. “Our job is to protect people from them. We keep it a secret because of the treaty our ancestors made with them decades ago. We can’t reveal their identity and we can’t reveal ours without revealing theirs. And people can’t fear what they don’t know of. ”

“Then, did they break the treaty by telling Bella?”

“They didn’t tell her about us, I kind of did,” he continued. “I was ordered to cut ties with her, but I couldn’t so I pointed her in the direction of the truth. She found out all by herself.”

“So, Bella knowing I understand. She already had knowledge of this whole world from that Edward guy,” (Y/N) started. “But why me? Why am I allowed to know all this? It can’t possibly be because she took me to your place. Billy would have stopped me from going outside but he didn’t.”

Jacob stopped in his tracks. That was the moment the truth needed to come out. He had to confess everything he’d ever felt for her and how the universe had decided to make it an unbreakable thing. All he hoped was that she didn’t push him away after.

“Being a shifter comes with more things than the ability to transform into a wolf,” he started, finally facing her. “You get superhuman strength and speed; you heal faster; you basically stop aging. And you gain the ability to imprint on someone.”

“Imprint?” (Y/N) questioned looking into his eyes for the first time since she had left the cabin. “What is that?”

“In the simplest of terms, it’s basically the moment you lay eyes on your soulmate,” he continued. His heart was beating faster, and he was sure his skin was flushing to a deep shade of red. “It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like gravity shifts all of a sudden. You’re not bound to the earth anymore, you’re bound to that person. You become whatever they need. A friend, a brother, a partner.

When I ran into you last night, when you almost ran me over with your car…”

“Sorry about that,” she chuckled. “That would have been horrible bad luck. To run you over with a car you fixed.”

“Eh, I would have healed,” he smiled. He was glad to see her lighter. Her laughter, the most beautiful music to his ears. “But when we looked into each other’s eyes I imprinted on you. That’s why I ran. That and the fact that I knew Paul had hurt you. I could feel your pain and your sadness, and as much as I wanted to comfort you, I needed to give him a piece of my mind.

But I should have stayed with you. I should have told you everything that I’m about to tell you now.

I love you, (Y/N). I’m in love with you and I have been since I even knew what love was. I have wanted to tell you since I gave you that whittled wolf I made, but I never had the courage to. And even if you don’t feel the same for me, I need you to know that, with or without the imprint bond, you have been and always will be it for me. My heart has been yours since the moment our dad’s brought us together and it will be yours until the day I die.”

Tears were now falling from (Y/N)’s eyes. She had waited for so long to hear those words and it made her heart swell as she finally did. But she feared he would take them back as soon as she told him the truth. Imprint bond or not, no teenager wanted to become a father, especially of someone else’s baby.

“You say that because you don’t know everything,” she sobbed, turning her back to him. “There’s another reason why I was crying last night that has nothing to do with Paul cheating.”

“(Y/N), nothing you say will change what I feel for you,” Jake said, running his hands over her arms. He tried to turn her back around, but she wouldn’t budge. “What is it, huh? Just tell me, (Y/N).”

“I’m pregnant, Jake,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “And I’m keeping it. And Paul has no idea. I went to tell him as soon as I found out and caught him with someone else. I don’t even know if he would care that the baby is his.”

“Is that all?” Jacob asked softly. “You think that’s enough to change my mind?”

“It would change anyone’s mind, Jake!” (Y/N) flipped around. Her eyes were red and streaming out tears faster than she could stop them. “We’re only sixteen. The last thing in our minds should ever be starting a family. We should be thinking about what college we’re going to or what countries we want to see, not about shitty diapers and feeding schedules.

What is happening is happening to me. I’m the one that’s pregnant and I can’t burden you with someone else’s child. I can’t do that to you. Why would you ever be okay with any of this?”

“Because it’s you,” he smiled. “And why do you think you or that baby could ever be a burden to me?” His hand cradled her cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the streaks that stained her skin. “I want everything that comes with being with you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, (Y/N). And I meant it when I said that there’s absolutely nothing you could do or say that would change that.”

“But I can’t do that to you,” she repeated, her voice breaking in pain. “I can’t do that to someone I love.”

Jacob’s mouth stretched into a wide smile, his eyes searching hers for any sign of deception, but it wasn’t there. All he saw was a girl in love that had been broken by someone else. “You love me?” he asked happily. “Is that what you said?”

“Of course, I love you, Jake,” she smiled softly, the tears still falling from her eyes. “I’ve loved you for so long it hurts. And that’s why it’ll hurt more to let you go.”

“(Y/N), I need you to listen to me and know in your heart that what I am telling you is the absolute truth,” he said lovingly but sternly. He needed her to believe him. He had lost her once and he would never do it again. “I want you. I want all that comes with being with you. I want to be there when you start showing; I want to be there when you go to the doctor; I wanna be there when that baby comes into this world, and I will be there every moment after. I will love that child as if it was mine because it’s part you –it’s already perfect.”

“You really mean that,” she smiled. Her hands were placed on his chest, her eyes gazing into the dark brown of his. “Why? Why do you care about me so much? I don’t deserve it.”

“You deserve the entire universe, (Y/N),” he beamed. “You deserve love and happiness, and I know I can give that to you.”

All the younger girl could do was smile as she stared up at him. If she had been dreaming, she did not want to wake up. Not now. Not after the nightmare was over. She needed to prove to herself that she was awake.

She stood on her tiptoes, stretching as far as she could while she pulled Jacob down by his shirt. She crashed her lips onto his and allowed herself to get lost in that moment. Everything around them stopped. The ocean had quieted, the wind had stopped blowing, and the sun had stopped beating on their skin. It was them and only them at that moment, surrounded only by their love and affection for each other.

“Thank you, Jake,” she smiled as they finally broke apart, their foreheads pressing against each other. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words.”

“I think I have some idea,” he chuckled. “I have been waiting since we were kids to tell you.”

“Maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess if either of us had,” she teased. “But, honestly, I would have it any other way.”

“I love you, (Y/N),” he said before kissing her once more. “I love you today, tomorrow, and forever.”

“Well, I love you more. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to show you just how much.”

As they walked back to the cabin, Jake’s arm draped over her shoulders, (Y/N) stopped in her tracks suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” Jake worried. “You feeling okay?”

“I haven’t thought of this, but what if Paul does want to be in this baby’s life? I mean, he has no idea that I’m pregnant.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he smiled. “If he does, he’ll have a lot to make up for. And I’ll make sure he is very apologetic for what he’s done.”

“You can’t just go around fighting him you know?” (Y/N) laughed.

“Don’t worry. He knows not to confront me with his fists –or paws—anymore.”

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wings-of-ink · 5 months ago

Text

Hear ye, hear ye!

All of you who have been anxiously awaiting Chapter 4 can send a big thank you to the Microsoft mayhem that happened on Friday. Because of it, I have had two entire, unprecedented, days off of work during which all I did was write and edit chapter 4! Stuff like this never happens to me either, so I ate it up. My work computer is still super broken too, so who knows what will happen tomorrow, lol.

So, chapter 4, barring anything disastrous that I do not yet foresee – is coming very soon. Like, any day this week soon. For now, I am looking for bugs and other errors until I feel comfortable getting the update loaded. I will also be updating the warning list and some things on the itch page. I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something I wanted to do, and am having a hell of a time remembering what it was…

Anyway, if it interests you, more details below!

In going through some of the Google Error Reports, I had a couple that I either could not resolve or find.

It was reported that checking player stats in chapter 1 would not work – that it would flash only for a moment. I could not recreate this. If anyone else has seen this, please let me know.

In the end of chapter 2 where there are multiple ways to spend your time there seems to be some issues with how choices become unselectable after certain clicks and it just doesn't seem to function correctly. I have fixed the issues I have found, but could not recreate all of the instances that were reported. This section may get an overhaul in the future since I understand the coding a bit more now.

It was also reported that fonts are not changing. There is definitely a weird issue with this and it will take some time for me to sit down and hammer out. The fonts do change for me, but notably, I don't think they are switching to the correct font types. They don't even appear to be the same fonts from when I first starting this project, lol. This issue is on hold for now.

The last 2 bonus segments for the end of chapter 3 are being pushed aside for the time being. I kept finding myself feeling like I was hammering them into the chapter and it was a little exhausting. If I force it, it will be less enjoyable to read. The segments that are missing are the ones for hanging out with Zahn and Nathanael. Zahn's is easy to wiggle in elsewhere at least, but I'm not sure if Nathan's will make it in or not. We'll see, my motivation was purely for chapter 4, so now that it is ready to go, I'll have another crack at it before I drop or move them completely. They aren't super important to the story, but are just for fun (and if Oswin got his, it's only fair that Zahn gets theirs too). That last section of chapter 3 ended up way too long, so it may get adjusted later anyway.

As with any work in progress, I can't guarantee that your old saves will work. That's probably how we are going to have to roll for a bit until I really get things nice and smooth. Eventually, I will add an option to start from a later chapter and go through and make the (MANY) relevant choices to skip ahead. This may be implemented when Chapter 6 is ready to go since all the ROs will be available.

I also want to figure out how to implement named saves to make it easier for you to sort. I appreciate IFs that feature this, but I do not yet know how to do it, but I'm going to research. I like to play through with several MCs, and I'd like to offer enough info in the saves and/or Stats Menu that you can do this and easily know who you are playing as. Let me know what you would like most in the Player Stats Menu too. Note, that some options do not appear here until you choose them in the story.

Coming up…

Since Chapter 4 is down, I will soon be posting a big poll about future IFs. I've been compiling info for it here and there for a couple weeks on possible options for me to write in conjunction with God-Cursed. So, stay tuned for that in the coming days.

I will FINALLY get to my inbox in earnest as well! I will keep reaction asks paused until further notice since they take me the longest to answer. Feel free to still send in comments or quicker questions. If your question is too spoilery to answer, I will not be able to post about it.

Anyway, hope you are all doing well! I can't wait to see what you think of chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it. I'll get it out just as soon as I feel comfortable enough with it. ^_^

#god cursed if #asks #twine if #if wip #twine wip #interactive novel #interactive fiction #demo update

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mirage-aera · 8 months ago

Note

can we please get more angst? 🙏

like what if reader decides to unalive herself? cant take the grief anymore and knowing that drinking and binge eating will not do anything but just burn money and delay the inevitable. and simon is too late to save her. cue simon grieving in return and drowning in guilt and self hatred for putting her in that situation.

•°. *࿐ Drowned

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Reader

pt. 1 - pt. 2

Synopsis: By the time Simon returns to your shared home, it's already too late for you. You've hit rock bottom in the rabbit hole, and Simon is ready to jump into that same hole.

Word count: 2.606

Masterlist

First of all I’d like to apologise for my two month(?) absence. I got overwhelmed with school work that I needed to focus on and some personal problems happened. For anyone who has stuck around, this is the long waited part 2 that I promised a while ago. I haven’t written anything in my long break so bear with me. Second of all you guys really want more angst from me. I was planning on doing a happy ending but this will do.

TW!! Suicide, alcoholism

For the people that wanted to be tagged: @somehopeatlast @yyiikes

It’s too much. Everything is too much. Everyone has been telling you that healing takes time. When in reality, all that you feel is despair. Instead of the wound gradually closing, all that’s really happening is your heart getting ripped out day by day. You don’t know how much longer you can keep this charade up. You’re throwing people fake smiles left and right, and ‘I’m fine’ has left your mouth more times than you could actually care for. It’s as if you’re living life as a mindless zombie. Barely doing the bare minimum to sustain yourself. Every time someone checks up on you, you tell them you’re doing okay, could be better but you’re fine. At least, that’s what you want them to think. You’re just a shell of the person you were when Simon was still here and alive. You’re blowing through your money like no tomorrow. But can you get yourself to care enough to do anything about it? No, and not for the foreseeable future. You spend your days drinking away, either at home or in bars. You’ve tried moving on, but the only thing you’re able to see in them is Simon. You chicken out before anything can get serious. Your bingeing habits haven't changed a bit, you’re on the same routine.

It's been months and you can’t get out of this rabbit hole you’ve dug yourself. Months.

It’s crazy to think about the chokehold Simon has on you, even when he isn’t physically here himself.

You’ve had enough. You’re not living life as is. You’re practically a dead person walking, a mindless being. All you’re doing is blowing money when you could be doing anything else but that. You’ve contemplated long and hard about this decision, and to be frank. You see no negatives to this option. Taking the way out seems like a way better alternative for you than continuing to waste the air around you with useless breaths.

The hooded figure that you sometimes see outside your window has started showing up less and less. You’ve made eye contact before, but before you can even mutter a word out the shadow has vanished. As if he never existed and is a figment of your imagination. You could’ve sworn that those were the eyes of Simon. His sharp brown eyes are unmistakable. You can recognize them from anywhere. But, he is dead. The possibility of it being him is simply impossible. You stare solemnly out the window. You want to see whether the shadow really is a figment of your imagination, or if it’s actually a person. But they never show up. If the shadow had shown up, would you have gone through with your plan? Probably not. As insane as it might sound, you feel a sort of pull for the shadow. As if it’s calling out for you.

When all you can see is the dark starry night. You sigh and shut the blinds. No one needs to see what you’re going to commit. You head upstairs to your once-shared bedroom. You walk absentmindedly to Simon’s bedside drawer. Revealing a small handgun. He always keeps weapons on him, or around him. To keep both you and him safe in case anyone ever dares to try anything in your own home. You pick up the piece of iron. Simon has taught you how to use it, in case there’s an emergency and he isn’t there to protect you. Back then it felt like a light piece of metal. Now, it sits heavy in the palm of your hand.

You slowly sit on the floor. Your back against the side of the bed. You expected to feel afraid. But to your surprise, you don’t feel anything at all. As if everything is numb. For that part you are a little thankful for, it’ll make this so much easier for you to do. You turn the gun in your hands. Inspecting your executioner. Minutes pass, and you’re still sitting idly on the floor. You’re waiting for the right moment. Deep down, you’re hoping that Simon will walk through the door. Wrap you up in his arms and tell you how everything is okay now. That it was simply a mission gone wrong, which made it so he couldn’t come home at the promised time frame. But as the silence of the house engulfs the house in an eerie peace. You close your eyes. This is the right moment. Simon won’t show, and he won’t show. You need to get that in your thick skull.

You look around your shared bedroom for the last time. Picture frames litter your dressers. His clothes are still hanging in his section of your closet. You put the gun away and back into his nightstand. You can’t do this, not here at least. Not at the serenity that belongs in your bedroom.

You scramble up from the floor. You pick up the crinkled piece of paper sitting on Simon’s desk. You go downstairs and pin it on the fridge with a magnet. Visible for anyone who comes looking for you. You rush outside, not bothering to bring a jacket with you. You’re not going to need it anyway. You run outside, not noticing the shadow blending in the night watching you. He wants to follow you, like he usually does, wanting to make sure you don’t do anything stupid or that you’ll regret. But this time, he can’t bring his feet to move. He simply watches you run off to whatever destination you have in mind.

You run off to the bridge you frequent with Simon. Not a lot of people go across it during the day. No one ever comes through at midnight. Giving you time alone to think and reminisce. You lean on the metal railing. Images of the various late-night dates Simon would take you on during his off days flash through your mind. You crack a small smile at that, embracing the pleasant memories once again. Your smile drops. Memories, that’s all they’ll ever be. You won’t be able to recreate them or make new ones anymore, not with Simon or anyone else. You brush away stray tears and let out a soft sniffle. You climb over the railing. You stand on the other side, peering down at the frigid cold water below. You look behind you, making sure no one is there. You suck in a deep breath, close your eyes, and let yourself slowly tip over the edge. One to two seconds feel like minutes. You feel the wind rushing past your face. Soon the cold water greets you. Despite the freezing temperature, it feels like a warm embrace. As if it’s welcoming you. You let yourself sink, letting more memories of you and Simon flash through your mind. Soon enough, everything goes black. You’ve lost this battle. Was it worth it? Some would say not, but to you? It was. You were miserable day after day. This was a peaceful alternative.

***

The shadow gets worried when hours pass by and you don’t return home yet. A bad feeling settles in the depths of his stomach. A nauseating feeling overwhelms him. He emerges from the shadows of the night. His mask was illuminated by the moonlight. He wants to know where you’ve gone. He shoves a flowerpot on your front porch aside with his foot, revealing a spare key. He grabs it and unlocks the door. It opens slowly. He steps inside, he takes off his worn boots. Not wanting to have anything traced back to him, anything that’ll show someone has been in the comfort of your own home. He looks around with confusion. He spots your phone and keys on the dining table. That’s weird. You never leave without those items, something Simon has drilled into your mind. He frowns behind his mask. He looks around everywhere. Eventually, he finds himself in the kitchen. At first glance, nothing seems out of the ordinary. He squints his eyes at the fridge. A note is pinned on the piece of metal. He takes big strides towards the fridge and reads the note. His heart sinks to his stomach. The urge to throw up is getting to him.

To anyone who finds this note. It’ll most likely be you, Price. I’m sorry. I know I’ve said that I’m fine, that I’m getting better. But I think you know this as well, that I’m not. If anything, I’m getting worse by the day. I’ll keep it short. I have nothing much to say anyway. Not that anyone would care. Don’t come looking for me. I’ll be long dead by the time you find this note. I don’t even know where I am. I might be in my bedroom, bathroom, in a ditch somewhere, or even floating in a river. On the bright side, I’m happy. Happier than ever. Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. I have Simon to keep me company.

I love you Simon, I’ll see you soon.

He rips the note off the fridge. He rereads it over and over. Hoping, no, praying that his eyes are deceiving him. That this is just some sick joke being played on him. You’ve done your fair share of pranks on him, but they’ve never been this extreme. He crumples up the note and shoves it in his pocket. He rips his mask off and throws it on the table near your phone and keys. He lets out a snarl. He slams his palms on the wooden table. “Fuck!” He exclaims. He pulls out his burner phone. He dials a number. They immediately pick up on the third ring. “Simon.” A low voice comes through. “Price.” He replies. He clearly doesn’t sound happy. He can’t let out tears, not now. He doesn’t deserve to. “Did you find something?” This sets something ablaze in Simon. He lets out a dry chuckle. “I’ve found something alright.” He sneers. He can’t help but convert the feeling of anguish to anger, and frustration. Anything but sadness. A low hum follows. “What did you find?” He takes a deep breath in. “I’ve found a suicide note in my own home.” He spits out. A painful silence ensues. “What?” He glares at the wall, lined with your pictures together. “You’ve fucking heard me. Want to explain that to me? You said she was doing fine!” A sorrowful sigh could be heard through the fun. “That’s what she said. I-” Simon interrupts him. “And you believed her?! How didn’t you see what was going on?! I told you, I fucking told you to keep an eye on her while I am gone!” He snaps. Something he probably shouldn’t do to Price, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. Another sigh could be heard. “Simon, listen. The mission-” He scoffs. “I don’t give a damn about the mission right now. My girl is dead for fucks sake!” He shouts. He continues. “I wasn’t happy with this mission. I already told you, I’d only agree to do this if you keep a close eye on her. I trusted you, Price. Now look at what happens. I faked my death, and now she’s dead!” He takes another deep breath to calm himself. “After this mission, I’m done. I’m pulling out. It’s about time I retire from this shithole anyway.” He sneers and hangs up. He throws the phone down on the table as well. He runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

He takes a seat at the table. He runs his hands down his face. A million thoughts run through his head. How did it end up like this? Multiple what-ifs pop up in his mind. What if he showed himself to you on the first day he came back to see you, would you still be alive? He lets out a low growl and slams his fist down on the table. Silent tears stream down his face. How does he always fuck up whatever good comes in his life? At this point, he’s just cursed. He can’t have happiness without something ruining it.

After he collects himself he gets up, but he still has work to do. And as much as he wants to drown himself in guilt and self-hatred. He understands that he still needs to finish his mission. He narrows his eyes as he walks out of your house. The people at the other end of his wrath need to watch their backs. Simon will make anything and anyone suffer, to make them feel the same pain he’s feeling. Deep down, he knows nothing will compare to it.

***

A fucked mission later, a hell of debriefing, he comes back home as a retired soldier. A home that has turned into a cold, haunting, and uninviting. Everything that made this house a home was you, you were his home. You aren’t here anymore. And it’s all his fault. If only he went against orders, let you know what was happening. You would still be here. If only he came to check on you more often, he could’ve seen the signs and stopped you. If only he could’ve shown any sign he’s still alive, you would probably still be here. Alive, breathing, at home, doing whatever you love to keep yourself busy while he’s gone. But no. He fucked up, and he’s paying the price for it.

For days on end, he will feel the remorse, the regret, the guilt. He would fall into the same rabbit hole you dug. Instead of you going down it. You’re already rock bottom, he’s simply joining you. He spends his time drinking. That’s what he knows helps best in this situation. Whenever he’s not drinking he’s spending time in his home gym.

A thought crosses his mind. The same one that has yours at one point. He lays in bed, your pillow still has your smell and it haunts him. He reaches over to his nightstand and opens his drawer. What he sees breaks his heart all over again. His gun. It has been moved. He’s certain this wasn’t how he left his gun before he left. He always made sure that the grip was facing him so he could grab it quickly in a time of emergency. It isn’t lying in that position anymore. He sits up with the gun in his hand. He plays around with the piece of iron in his hand. Unloads and loads the bullets over and over. Pushing the safety back and forth. Anything to distract him from the void he’s feeling in the pit of his stomach. Your note that you’ve left on the fridge rests on his nightstand. You said you were going to be okay. That you’ll have Simon to keep you company. Well, he isn’t fucking there, is he? He wants to join you so desperately. But he’s afraid, not of death. But even if there is an afterlife, would you accept him? He lied to you. A lie that cost you your life. He doesn’t know if he could endure that on top of the grief he’s feeling. But even seeing you one last time would be better than this.

So he sits there, in the darkness of your shared bedroom. Contemplating if he should join you. Something you were doing a few nights prior. If only he didn't accept the damn mission. He wouldn’t be drowning in his grief and self-hatred if he let the mission go. You would be here, in his arms. And that thought would forever haunt him until he does opt for the other route.

I’m sorry lovie, for everything.

#cod #cod x reader #cod mwii #cod mw2 #ghost #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #call of duty #call of duty x reader

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generalllimaginesss · 11 months ago

Text

I would like to apologize for the amount of time this took to write lmao. I couldn’t find a good stopping point and got overwhelmed with how I would finish this part, but at least there will be a part 4 in the foreseeable future. I’m working on some headcannons for Hattie so we can get to know her a bit more!

Thanks for reading!!

No Expectations

“Jack, I need your moral support. Please come here now,” Hatton’s hands threatened to begin sweating with the amount of anxiety that was coursing through her body. She had her MacBook out, the cursor hovering above the attachment that Trevor had sent her. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, but she knew that Jack would bring her back to earth.

“Sure, Hattie. Let me drop everything I’m doing and come at your beckon call. There’s literally nothing more in the entire world that I would want to do right now,” Sarcasm laced Jack’s words.

“Attitude Mister. Check it now,” Hatton quickly brought it to his attention.

“Sorry, I’m just trying to make sure I have everything packed to go back to Jersey. Luke is coming over tonight and I want to check his stuff and make sure he’s ready to go. When do I need to come over?” Jack was rustling through some papers as he held his phone to his ear with his shoulder.

“Now?” Hatton put her innocent voice on, knowing Jack could never say no to her.

“Hattie, you better be glad that you’re my best friend in the world,” Jack sighed as he laid the papers down.

“Thank you, Jacky boy,” Hatton smiled.

About 20 minutes passed when she heard the front door open and close, followed by footsteps that skipped up the stairs. Jack pushed open Hatton’s door and plopped down beside her on the bed.

“What’s up,” he asked, pulling out his phone to keep him occupied.

“Trevor sent me a PowerPoint on why he would be a good boyfriend. I don’t know why I’m nervous, but I am and I need your company here,” Hatton explained as she fiddled with the rings on her hand.

“You couldn’t just FaceTime me with this?” Jack groaned. This whole ordeal gave Jack flashbacks of their middle school days of romance.

“Jack, this is my future we’re talking about. What if he’s the one? What if I say yes to be his girlfriend? What if we get married and have kids and finally get a happily ever after?” Hatton was serious, but Jack was trying not to laugh.

“You realize, like, 2 months ago you didn’t like him…” Jack smirked, but was met with an unamused look from Hatton.

“3, 2, 1,” Hatton took a deep breath and clicked the attachment. She clicked the ‘present’ button and began to read the slides.

“Ok, I actually want to see these,” Jack admitted as he scooted closer to Hatton and read the slides.

“I will buy you flowers when you least expect it,” Hatton laughed, “Because that’s boyfriend material.”

“I have a dog?” Hatton was getting upset. She wanted him to take this seriously, but he’s giving her these lame reasons? Actually, the dog isn’t lame, but basing an entire relationship on one is.

“Uh oh, here’s the mushy ones,” Jack announced as he clicked to the next slide.

Hatton’s eyes scanned the slide.

“Every time I look at you it gets harder to breathe. You’re quite literally breathtaking and I’ll remind you that every single day,” Hatton could feel the heat in her cheeks rise.

“That’s gross,” Jack fake gagged, but stopped when Hatton gave him a look.

“Every time your name pops up on my phone (which isn’t much, but still…) my heart races a little,” Hatton began sporting a smile.

“I know that Jack Hughes will always be by your side (hi buddy) and that would be the closest I could get to be his brother. I’ve already asked Quinn to marry me and he told me to fuck off,” The slide caused a rupture of laughter that filled the entire room.

“He’s got a point,” Jack chuckled.

“Every time I picture my future, at least for the last 3 years until now, I always picture you in it. I’d like you to be more than a friend, and I’d love for you to give me a chance to prove that I can love you the way you deserve,” Hatton couldn’t shake the smile off of her face even if she wanted to.

“I would’ve bullied him in high school for this,” Jack shook his head and leaned back into the pillows, pulling his phone out to go through his Snapchat.

A link on the last slide caught Hatton’s attention, but she managed to read the text that sat above it.

“Here’s a plane ticket. If I convinced you to allow me to be your boyfriend, I’d love to see you and keep explaining how I can be your boyfriend while being thousands of miles away,” Jack squealed as he watched Hatton open the link to the plane tickets.

Sure enough, there was a ticket for first class from Detroit to Anaheim that was a week away.

Jack kept glancing between the ticket and Hatton while she just sat there staring at the computer screen.

“It’s not going to disappear if you look away you know,” Jack poked her in her side, resulting in an elbow to his stomach.

“I don’t know what to do. I mean, I guess I could skip school for the week. I could do my assignments online,” Hatton wasn’t talking to Jack in particular, but more so thinking out loud. Jack didn’t seem to pick up on that memo though.

“I’m no genius by any means, but it sounds like you do know what to do,” Jack raised his eyebrows at the girl sitting beside him. She couldn’t be annoyed with Jack because he was right. She wanted to jump on that flight. Hell, she’d probably jump on a flight sooner if possible, but she didn’t want to begin this relationship with being so spontaneous.

“When do you leave for Jersey?” Hatton turned to face Jack, quickly changing the subject, but eager to know the answer.

“Um, 6 in the morning,” He scratched the back of his neck, preparing for a lecture of why he should’ve told her he was leaving sooner.

“Jack Hughes, what the hell?!” She pushed at him, hoping to push him off the bed, but he barely budged.

“I probably would’ve told you sooner….actually I shouldn’t lie I probably wouldn’t have. In my defense, I did tell you I was busy before I got here,” he pointed out, but it didn’t fix Hatton’s frustration.

“Yeah, but you failed to mention that you’ll be leaving in less than 24 hours, dumbass,” she thumped him on his ears, eliciting a wince from him.

“I was going to come over tonight to tell you bye,” he grumbled, but Hatton just rolled her eyes.

“I’m FaceTiming you when I get there,” Hatton announced.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” he patted her leg as he began to stand up.

“Wanna come help me finish packing?” He knew she wouldn’t say no to his request.

“I guess I could,” Hatton played as if it was even a thought that she wouldn’t.

Because he was leaving in the morning, they took separate vehicles back to his house, so Hatton just planned on spending the night, wanting to spend as much time with her best friend as possible before hockey stole him back.

….

The next week passed painfully slow as Hatton had said goodbye to all of her boys. She had friends that were girls, but none that she trusted as much as Jack, Turcs, Cole, or Quinn. Maybe Trevor, too.

The boys just made life interesting. They weren’t full of drama, and everyday was some sort of adventure. She missed them a lot when they were gone, so to think that she would get to see Trevor, and possibly Alex, gave her something to look forward to.

She appreciated the gesture of the plane ticket from Trevor, but what the hell was he thinking with a 7:00 am flight? There was an hour drive from her to the airport, and she had to be there at least 2 hours prior so that she wouldn’t be an anxious mess. And that leads her to now, lugging her bag from her room to her car and making the drive to Detroit.

The drive wasn’t terrible, but Hatton had to stop for coffee so that she wouldn’t fall asleep behind the wheel. The traffic was steadily getting worse as she made her way to the airport parking, though. She went through TSA and checked her bag groggily, the sleep not too distant from the night before.

Once Hatton was awake enough to be aware of her surroundings, she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, even if the flight was four and a half hours. A shaken espresso from Starbucks would do the trick to give her enough energy to get through the travel day without catching an attitude with somebody.

After grabbing her coffee and finding a corner to read one of her books, the intercom finally came on, announcing that her flight was boarding first class. She grabbed her backpack and book and made her way to her seat next to the window.

The book she was reading seemed to speed up the flight, the one and only time she glanced at her watch and there was only an hour left until they landed. She spent the last hour watching outside of the window, taking a few pictures, and just thinking about what this next week could lead to.

That was great, until she thought about the fact that she hadn’t even talked to Trevor to let him know she was coming. She couldn’t text him, so she just had to wait until the plane landed, mentally kicking herself for forgetting such a major detail for the day.

The plane landed and everybody deboarded. Hatton quickly grabbed her suitcase from the baggage claim and tried to find a place outside to make a quick call to Trevor.

As she pressed his number to call him, she heard a phone ringing behind her. Confusion swept over her as she turned around to see the tan skinned, wind-swept hair that Trevor wore so well. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes and smile when he smirked at her.

“Let me guess…Jack?” She knew that Jack couldn’t keep his fat mouth shut even if he wanted to, but for once it turned out in her favor.

“Did you really think he wouldn’t tell me that you were coming? Which brings me to my next question, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” He grabbed the suitcase from her and walked her to where his car was parked, all the while taking in how she could possibly be as beautiful as she was right now after traveling all day.

“I’ll be honest, I completely forgot to. I don’t really have a good excuse,” She admitted. She placed her backpack into his backseat, but Trevor wouldn’t let her grab the door to get into the front because he had to.

“Thank you,” Hatton smiled up at him and waited for him to get in so they could drive away.

The drive wasn’t long, mostly filled with a few road rage moments for Trevor along with small talk to fill the silence. They pulled up to the house that Trevor called home. He wished that Hatton had come a year ago, that way she could’ve experienced life with him and Jamie, but he was sure his friend would make an appearance at some point while Hatton was here.

“Wow, you’re house is really pretty,” Hatton commented while unbuckling and grabbing her backpack from the backseat. Trevor grabbed her suitcase and they made their way inside.

Trevor smiled, a blush rising onto his cheeks, as he shrugged his shoulders.

“I have a couple of extra rooms that you can choose from. You could always just room with me, though,” he smirked and threw her a wink.

“And there’s the Trevor I know,” Hatton chuckled as Trevor began to show her around the house. A part of her wanted to just stay in the same room as Trevor, but she’d be here for a week, so they would have plenty of time to make rooming changes if need be.

Trevor let Hatton unpack by herself, giving her some time to decompress on her own from traveling all day. He had planned for the first day to be less action packed so that the two would be rested for his game day tomorrow.

“Okay, I think I’m unpacked,” Hatton breathed a sigh of relief and plopped down on his couch, momentarily closing her eyes as she was realizing that it would just be him and her sleeping here for the entire week. It was never just the two of them, there was always somebody else with them, even if it was just Jack.

“So, I have some pretty cool things planned for the week, but I figured we take it easy today…that ok?” Trevor plopped down in a recliner beside the couch.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Hatton kicked her shoes off and tucked her feet beneath her, making herself more comfortable.

“Um, I know this conversation is just going to be awkward no matter when we have it, but seeing as you’re hear you saw my reasons why I think we could work out,” Trevor watched as Hatton nodded her head, urging him to continue with the conversation.

“Yeah, speaking of, where’s your dog?”

“He’s getting a bath. We can go pick him up in a little while. Back to what I was saying....I just feel like I need to say some things in person so we can just completely clear the air about how we feel about each other,” Trevor was just going to rip the bandaid off and get everything out of his system. He's had ample time to think about what to say to Hatton, but none of it sounded good enough now that she was sitting so close to him, just the two of them. He let his heart go on autopilot, deciding that may be the best way to go about this.

“You obviously know I like you. Like a lot. But, um," Trevor stuttered as he rubbed his arm, subconciously trying to ease the anxiety that seemed to peak when he tried to take about his feelings. That was something about Trevor that only a select few knew; Trevor loved attention, but he avoided showing his true feelings at all costs. He would rather just make everybody around him smile or laugh than let them in on how he feels.

"Hattie, you mean the world to me. You meant the world to me when I knew you couldn't stand me, and you mean the world to me now that you've traveled this far and you're sitting right here," The words were flowing from his mouth, reaching Hatton and wrapping around her heart like a ribbon on a gift.

Hatton could feel her cheeks go rosy, not caring if Trevor noticed or not. She listened to each word that left his lips as if they were a raft that could save her from drowning from confusion. Because that's what Hatton felt most of the time: confused. Why did he feel like this towards her? Could she really let herself be in a relationship with him? Let him see the most vulnerable parts of her that very few were lucky enough to know about?

"You told me I needed to figure out how to make a long distance relationship work, so that's what I've been doing. I've talked to some buddies that have been in a long distance relationship and they gave me some words of advice. Long distance can't, and won't, work if we both don't work on it. I can tell you when I'm free from practice and games so that we could FaceTime or text or something. I'm willing to pay for your travel when you come here, and I swear I will make time each month to come see you as well. Even if it's for short periods of time. I really want this with you. More than anything, more than the fucking Stanley Cup, Hatton," Trevor chuckled, but he was completely serious. If hockey didn't pay his bills, then he'd drop everything to be with her.

"You must want me lot," Hatton grinned, teasing him.

"You have no idea," Trevor sighed, returning her grin.

"Ok. You have to ask me to be your girlfriend, though," Hatton's upside down smile was plastered on her face as she watched Zegras process what she just said.

"Wha- so that's a yes?" He could hardly form words because of the excitement that was running rampant in his head. His heart was working overtime.

"Did you ask me?" Hatton raised her eyebrows inquisitively, waiting for him to ask her the question that would start their future.

"Hatton Carlisle, would you do the absolute honor of being my beautiful, loving, caring girlfriend," Trevor was being a bit dramatic, but he didn't care because it made Hatton giggle.

"I would love to, Trevor Zegras," Hatton smiled.

Trevor got up from the recliner he was in and walked the two steps it took to get to Hatton. He cupped her face in his hands, taking a few seconds to take in her features, and placed a passionate kiss on her lips. The kiss saying everything that Trevor might have left out when previously discussing his feelings for Hattie. Hatton's fingers immediately grasped for his hair, slightly pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. Trevor took this as an opportunity to place himself between her legs, supporting his weight by placing one hand on the arm of the couch while the other was still cupping her cheek, his thumb caressing her smooth, rosy pink cheek.

Before things went too far, Trevor broke the kiss.

"We've got all week to show each other how much we like each other. We've got about 30 minutes to go pick up Louis," He chuckled, tucking a piece of Hatton's hair behind her ear.

The two loaded up into Trevor's car to go pick up Louis.

All that Hatton could think about was that Trevor wasn't just the annoying third wheel of her's and Jack's friendship anymore. He wasn't the one that pushed her buttons constantly, or made her question her sanity. He was her boyfriend.

Her phone ringing interrupted the comfortable silence in the car. Of course it was Jack.

"Bitch, did you not tell me you would call me when you got to Anaheim? I can't exactly help you when your literally on the other side of the country from me," Jack was yelling from somewhere off screen, but there was no way Trevor and Hatton couldn't hear him. His voice echoed all throughout his apartment.

"Sorry, bud. We've got some exciting news though," Hatton smiled.

As soon as she said that, Jack's face popped up on the phone, "Is my boyfriend there?"

"You mean my boyfriend?" Hatton smiled, knowing that Jack would have something to say about her statement.

"No fucking way..." Jack wore a grin as big as the sky, giving the Cheshire Cat a run for his money, "Let me see our boyfriend!"

"Jacky! My man, what's going on?" Trevor glanced at the phone before returning his attention on the road.

"It's about time. I'm telling Cole and Alex," And with that he hung up.

The two laughed, Trevor interlocking their hands. He couldn't believe that she actually agreed to be his girlfriend. It felt surreal, 3 years of pining after her and it all paid off.

"I'm glad you're here, Hatton," Trevor smiled.

"I'm glad I'm here too, Z," She gave his hand a squeeze. This week just might be one of the best weeks of their lives so far.

----

That night Hatton decided to sleep in a bed by herself, not quite comfortable with being completely vulnerable with Trevor quite yet. She tossed and turned all night long, replaying the day in her head over and over again. The sudden feelings she had developed for Trevor scared her, quite honestly. If she was capable of falling that hard that quickly, how much more control over her could Trevor have?

Before she knew it, the sun was peeking through a tiny sliver of the blackout curtains in her room. Like usual, there was no way she would be able to go back to sleep now. Her natural timer prohibited it. It made her feel a little better though when she heard a door open and the pitter patter of paws, followed along with what had to be Trevor's footsteps. She could hear him disarm the alarm system and open the back door.

Hatton decided that it would probably be rude of her to stay in bed all morning, so she stretched, tossing the covers off of her in the process. She put on a bra and brushed her teeth, but didn't bother doing anything else this early in the morning. If Trevor, for some odd reason, expected her to look like a model, he could suck it.

She put on a pair of slippers and made her way to the living room, quickly spotting Trevor sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs that circled a fire pit on the back porch, playing on his phone as Louis inspected the perimeter of the yard.

Before Hatton could even open the door, Louis somehow spotted her and began barking. Trevor quickly apologized as he picked him up and opened the back door for her.

"He's not aggressive, but he'll let me know when someone's here," Trevor chuckled as he scratched the dog behind the ears.

"No worries! When you're as cute as him you can get away with anything," Hatton gave the dog a pat on the head as she made herself comfortable on the couch that sat across from the chair that Trevor had previously been sitting in.

"Do you happen to have a coffee maker?" Hatton desperately needed caffeine. Now that she thought about it, she might have a caffeine addiction.

"I do not, actually. Jamie took it in the divorce," Trevor managed to say with a straight face, but furrowed eyebrows from Hatton gave away her confusion.

"Divorce?"

"Yeah, he moved out and had the balls to move down the street. He can be a bitch, but he's no threat to you," Trevor said so nonchalantly that Hatton couldn't tell if it was a joke or not.

"That's nice to know..." Hatton trailed off. The two sat enjoying the peace that the early morning exuded, watching Louis be Louis and occasionally mentioning something insignificant. A chill washed over Hatton, goosebumps quickly rising.

"So, I have a preseason game tonight, as you probably know. The game isn't until 5, but I do have a practice this morning if you want to tag along...," Trevor explained, hoping Hatton would want to come to the stadium.

"And what's in it for me?" Hatton was obviously going to support Trevor, but was it really Hatton if she didn't make him work for it?

"Well, that depends on what you're thinking of...if you want to go out to eat, there's plenty of places that will be open after the game. If you want to do something, Disney is literally like 5 minutes away and I have an off day tomorrow. If you're thinking a little alone time..." Trevor wiggled his eyebrows, but he was completely joking, unless Hatton wasn't. In that case he would definitely keep the offer on the table.

"Z, what if I actually said yes to the last option. What would you do?" Hatton chuckled as she spoke.

"Probably think somebody kidnapped the real Hattie and replaced her with whatever is sitting right here," Trevor rubbed the bottom of his chin, pretending to think about what he was saying.

"Disney tomorrow would be amazing," Hatton didn't even have to think about it. She adored Disney, the smell, the rides, it was one of her favorite things. She couldn't wait.

The two made their way inside to get dressed for the day, but not before a knock at Trevor's front door elicited a howl from Louis.

"I got it," Trevor announced, leaving Hatton alone in the kitchen while she poured a bowl of Lucky Charms.

She could hear somebody come through the front door, heading to the kitchen. Hattie could tell that Trevor was quietly chewing out whoever it was that he let in, but she couldn't quite make out what he was saying exactly.

"Trevor shut the fuck up. You never used this damn Keurig, anyway," A dark-haired, fair-skinned guy sat a black Keurig down on the counter adjacent to Hatton, not noticing there was a girl right next to him.

"Why do you even need-" As soon as the guy turned and caught a glimpse of Hatton, he knew exactly why Trevor blew his phone up asking about the stupid coffee maker.

"I think I might know who you are," Jamie sent an innocent smirk to the girl across from him.

"I think I might know who you are as well," Hatton giggled, connecting the dots as to the whole "divorce" thing that Trevor had mentioned.

"You must be the infamous Hattie. Trevor hasn't shut up about you for as long as I've known him," Jamie winked, chuckling when he saw Trevor giving him a death glare.

"You must be Trevor's ex in...some capacity. You didn't have to bring the coffee maker back. I could've run through Starbucks or Dunkin," Hatton rolled her eyes as she made eye contact with Trevor. He, in turn, shrugged his shoulders.

"It's no problem, I'll just make my morning coffee here and then we can carpool," Jamie popped in a coffee pod and started it for you.

"So how did Trevor mange to get you here? I thought you didn't like him..." Jamie waited patiently as the coffee poured into the mug he had placed underneath.

"She's my girlfriend now," Trevor interjected, immediately sending Hattie the biggest grin he could manage. He would never get tired of telling people that. He had worked hard to earn that title.

"Willingly? I don't normally judge people, but I'm judging a little bit," Jamie widened his eyes jokingly, causing Hatton to chuckle. He passed her the cup of coffee and began to make his.

"You know, I kinda feel the same way. He's a weirdo, but he's very convincing," Hatton could feel Trevor staring at her, but she just watched Jamie as he smiled.

"Yeah…you know I'm right here?" Trevor spoke up.

"Yeah, we know," Jamie nonchalantly said as he sipped his coffee.

Trevor rolled his eyes as he walked away towards his room to change into his outfit for the day, Hatton filing to her room shortly after to do the same.

As she ruffled through the articles of clothing that hung in the closet, she smiled. She was going into this week with an open mind and heart. No expectations, just experiences.

She was eager to see it all unfold.

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