#but at least I know now going forward
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#honestly I’m feeling so shitty right now bc i was irritated with one of my kiddos today and she could tell#and the reason was bc she was refusing to properly wash her plate and dish before naptime#when every single other student who’d already finished eating had#and I told her she couldn’t go back and play with her friends until she did#and she so clearly did not want to do it#and then after five minutes she started doing it incorrectly#and I was like. no you Have to use the sponge you can’t just use your fingers#scrub with the sponge don’t just let the water drip out of it k to the plate#it took my way too fucking long to realize what the problem was and I kinda want to cry at the look of relief on her face#when I asked her if the sponge hurt her hands and gave her a soft cloth to use instead#and then she was so happy to clean it!!!!! she scrubbed away and did such a good job#like. me. a whole ass neurodivergent who has also disliked sponges in the past bc of the feel#couldn’t recognize it in her for so long and she was so sad#anyway I’m glad I figured it out eventually but the amount of time she was too scared to speak up bc I’m new and was frustrated#is probably going to haunt me for a while#but at least I know now going forward
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How do you sleep at night? No one to hide behind Betrayed every alibi you had You had every chance to make amends instead you got drunk on bitterness And you still claim that you're innocent, it's sad
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#christian horner#for the blacklists#I recognize that christian horner in a gifset is NOT the kind of content people in ricnation are looking for rn#debated posting this but fuck it#me 🤝🏼 daniel: two bitches that love a depressing song lyric#it's about breaking free from a toxic relationship and the importance of prioritizing one's own needs#and that it can take a long time to recognize the dynamics at play in those relationships#and removing yourself from that situation can be just as hard and that just kind of epitomizes daniel with christian for me#in the return to rbr I think daniel trusted that CH would at the very least be straight forward and upfront with him#even if the end result wasn't what daniel wanted or hoped for#daniel could handle not getting the rbr seat#but something he couldn't handle was the truth that the one person he believed he could trust was gaslighting him and using him#and daniel had a light bulb moment - the point where you realize that sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away#and so he got out#also this is obviously my interpretation of a relationship that I have zero insider info on and maybe they are chill now#as always…thinking too deeply about people I don’t know in the tags#also i recognize that this song is actually about a tiktok hype house but whatever rbr are that immature so it fits#this is my first go with this type of editing in PS so if you have any tips on style and execution i'm all ears#Apparently i also owe CH an apology bc i was so sure he didn't shake daniel's hand pre-race in singapore but he actually did and i missed i#during the breakdown i was having anyway fuck him still
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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#alolan raichu#holy shit these alolan forms are kicking the fuck outta my ass#the things i do for you all. my production value on this blog has increased over the years and i don't think i can get away with the same#weird shit i used to be able to when i couldn't find a good model so now i'm having to learn how to use blender and shit??#downloading weird scripts off the internet just because i can't find the right models. and now alolan raichu has kantonian eyes#they have kantonian eyes. i know. i'm sorry. i don't know how to fix it and this is the best you're going to get because i had to work for#like an hour and a half just to get to this point. and i know the lighting is dark. it's. it's bad. it'll probably be like this for all#the alolan forms at least. and holy shit when we get to gen 9 it's going to be even worse#this is a wreck!! this is a wreck. i had to use the sv model for this one and it's like#i dunno the eyes in sv aren't textures?? they're procedural. they're fucking. shaders. in sv. which is why espeon's pupils#are no longer pupils and are instead reflections (lie‚ falsehood)#and i'm. dissolving. y'all're gonna have to bear with me moving forward bc i've gotten Very used to the “it just works” nature of#the older models that i was using but this is getting way harder on me as we move into newer generations
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a gentle reminder for good omens fans: this is not fucking about you. this is about someone potentially experiencing real harm at the hands of someone else and if you're making this about yourself and the show that you like then you need to seriously reassess your priorities.
#let's make this so clear your opinion actually does not matter because what it's about right now is making sure that the victims#coming forward are supported and able to tell their stories.#and if you're 'worried about what this means for season 3' i don't know what to say to you genuinely.#reassess. look at yourself again. and then Stop looking at yourself and start focusing on others#these are real people who are telling you that they were sexually assaulted. if you're not going to show them compassion#then at least don't derail the situation to make it about your little show. the least you can do. genuinely.#good omens#neil gaiman
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The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.
All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same????? Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????
And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???
#literally i've seen some leftists post like the people in the us could never handle the torture that the us inflicts in other countries#like seriously what the actual fuck do you not think most people are struggling here and dying of preventable diseases and being subjected#to hate crimes mental health crisis systemic racism sexism etc.#why the fuck arent you actually helping your community and helping them see how foreign and domestic policy are tied instead of screaming#like so much of this virtue signaling and not being grounded in reality drives me crazy#and im fucking tired of not being allowed to feel happiness about anything unless it's morally socially perfect how the fuck are we suppose#to move the needle if we never fucking feel happy????? like what after your disorganized revolution the way your room is disorganized i can#be happy that i live in a perfect utopia?? NO! that's not how the fucking world works get a grip#i never believed in working within the system but at least other more reasonable leftists have offered tangible solutions to sway politicia#in our favor and retain a little bit of our rights#like this one woman was saying union organizers align themselves with democrats strategically not because they agree with the party but#so that democrats will count on their vote and money and in turn advocate for union rights#like i feel like a far leftist would be like omg how dare you align with the democrats!!! but like honey!!! what the fuck are we supposed t#do??? stick our fucking nose up at the current political system unless we get everything we want to move the party further to the right and#then wake up one day and realize because we were waiting for a perfect system all our fucking rights are gone?????#bffr#i know i am going to lose all of my followers for this post#grace rants#politics#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#jd vance#project 2025#2024 elections#also to be clear this is what i feel right now because of the delayed discussion of far-leftism and options and campaigning for candidates#if leftists actually get together and UNIFY and fucking do something i'll consider inching forward to the revolution#but screaming the system is corrupt without giving people solutions or action steps and just giving them severe anxiety is unhelpful
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how to live a happy and fulfilling life when everyone around you is obsessed with shame and guilt and suffering
#i DO already know how - i’m just complaining#if one more person apologizes to me unnecessarily i think i will explode in a mass of blood and viscera#like. i’m legit gonna have trauma about this it makes me so mad lmaoooo#ALSO i’m FINALLY getting the ball rolling for my mom and mom-mom re: getting a home care person to help out#and she’s like ‘whoa… maybe i could go back to work…’#and it’s like. dude. HOW did you not seriously consider this until now????#you haven’t taken a vacation in three years because you think that to love is to suffer dude!!!!!!!#get help!!!!!!!!#or a home care aide at the very least…#never thought that applied statistics would be my escapism activity but here we are…#despite how shitty my high school years were i think 2024 is probably objectively gonna go down as the worst year of my life so far#but a lot of good has happened and is happening also#and i’m much stronger now than i was then#so you know…#we move forward
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sorry for disappearing from tumblr for 3 months without saying anything but im back now :> hiiiiiii :> ill ramble a bit abt why i was gone in the tags. anyway yay hi guys :> good evening :> hows everyone doing :>
#i really do feel bad... i was originally just taking a few days off to catch up on assignments#but i got convinced the internet was poisoning my brain m i got super scared of coming back online for some reason i couldnt really identif#then i realized it was one of my classic attempts to self isolate to solve all my problems when all it actually was is self sabatoge.#many such cases!#so much has happened but also literally nothing has happened at all. crazy#youd think all that time not on tumblr would have made me more productive but it didnt. i just napped and wallowed.#i wish i could come back with more art or something but i lowkey got nothing. but im working on several things yay!! look forward to it#on the bright side i think i recognize the impulse a bit better now and im trying to stop shutting myself off from any kind of community#u know how it is when its almost ur birthday and u realize that time keeps passing and if u keep living the way u are -#- ur never going to be happy? yeah.#so im probly going to be a bit chattier online or at least try to be. im trying to live my life less afraid of everything in many ways#angel.txt
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Final build, almost a year later! The last piece of the puzzle evaded me for a goddamn long time (it's always the planars) but I can confidently call this Blade's final form.
Feels good man.
#and this build even respects the 1:2 recommended crit ratio#since with the effect of 4pc longevous he effectively has 99% crit rate in combat#99/201! that's a 1:2 if i've ever seen one! and i'm still gonna pretend it doesn't exist for every single build going forward anyway#you don't know the blood sweat tears and failed pieces i've put into this rope#i've been waiting for this rope so long#especially for one that'd actually roll well#and it did#i'm free#he's also free#unfortunately not dead but at least free of my constant scrutinizing gaze as i look over his relics disapprovingly#hsr#ray's records#did he NEED a new rope? no not really#did i WANT one anyway to hit 200 crit damage? you know it baby#and i always need more keel planars so it was efficient farming#but it's over now#dear deer you can rest now#... unless someone else needs either of those sets in the future then who knows#toodles buddy
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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well made it through my one on one with my boss without crying and without feeling like my boss hates me so that’s an improvement (almost did though…twice)
#i feel a bit better that i apologized too and trying not to take it personally that im kinda gonna be micro managed a bit#to get myself back on track into what i’m actually supposed to be doing#my boss is even having me go up to her office daily to work on things for a half hour#which i feel bad that she’s had to step in and she keeps saying it’s okay#meanwhile apparently my existing techs that went to HR did admit to my boss that i’m a little unapproachable#which my boss was gentle about that and told them that i was probavly already aware about that#she knows me well cause lmao i am aware#but i’m hoping i can dig myself out of the grave now and just…move forward. clean slate#time to step it up and be a better person than i was the previous day ya know#or at least fake the optimism until it becomes real#mk’s work woes
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happy birthday to me i celebrated by looking at my favourite sequence of images in the world and crying over it at half past midnight.
#im. 24 now.#appleyaps#gonna be honest with you guys idk where the fuck my life is heading atm.#but if this manga taught me anything its that i have to keep making choices in order to achieve my own happiness.#ive been making strides... im now exclusively using the men's toilets wherever i go.#and im working on getting a professional diagnosis so i can go on hrt... but the waiting lists are so long.#i took the transfer but now it turns out i still have to wait longer... even though i was promised help quickly.#i dont know how much longer i can take this though. being uncomfortable with myself. im sick of it. i just wanna live.#theres so many things id like to do. but my body and my voice are holding me back from it.#my mom and her boyfriend know now. but my mom doesnt understand and has never referred to me as a woman as much as she does now.#at least everyone at school uses he/him for me now. i was finally assertive about it in my new class#and everyone there calls me teddie. though i'd like people to use tom for me as well. my friends do.#i just need to be even more assertive from now on. im working on it. im doing my best. i wanna live.#at least i have lots to look forward too. thats whats keeping me going honestly. and my friends.#the hope that one day i get to look in the mirror and finally see myself. i want to believe that it can happen. i need it to happen.
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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squish ramble
this probably isn't gonna make much sense bc I'm kinda sleepy but I just. I love them so fucking much. we just called for like an hour an a half and for those moments everything else disappeared. all the stress, all the worries, it all seems so much lighter just because I know I have them in my life and we can talk about anything. that feeling of complete ease and comfort when we're together, even if it's over a patchy phone signal, there's nothing else in the world that could replace it. the feeling of being seen and heard and understood entirely, the knowledge that we have each other and we're going to be okay. I know we're still young, but I hope we have this for the rest of our lives. I think as long as I have them, everything else will be alright. I love them and I love loving them, it's the best feeling in the world <3
#I wish I could take away all of your worries#but at least we have each other to lean on#it's the way I've been looking forward to the call all day. the way I could talk to you for hours about everything and nothing#the way being in your presence leaves me with this warm glow in my chest that makes everything a little softer#the way you give me courage to keep going and the way you calm my over anxious brain#(these days I imagine the moment I get to see you again constantly. whenever things get rough I imagine seeing your smile again#and being enveloped in your hug. not that I'd ever admit it though)#I think its the small moments of confirmation that get to me the most actually#when you said it was fantastic talking to me#or when you said you missed me too and your voice got soft#or your excitement when we plan our life together next year#those small moments of 'oh <3'#I know you're not *in love* with me back but in those moments I think maybe you love me. sometimes I think that's better <3#like yes I want a qpr and sometimes I want more#but if we have and love each other in whatever way we can I think that's more important#and I know for a fact I'm the luckiest person in the world to have this :)#god I love you#the future scares me sometimes but for now? I'm basking in your glow and that's all I need#I absolutely cannot wait to see you again. final stretch now!!#queerplatonic yearning hours#cosmo rambles#queerplatonic#aroace#aromantic#platonic love#loving hours
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Sending you love and support during this fucked up situation 💕💖💕💖💕
Thank you 💖💖💖
#I'll be ok#I genuinely just don't want other people to go through what I and others have gone through with her#she obvs hasn't learned her lesson from my perspective#and fwiw I'm not trying to like#tear her down or kick her off the internet#if she really came forward with an apology#even if it's not for me cause yeah I've been bitchy through this situation and she doesn't have to forgive me either#I'd at least listen and chill out on my end#like it sucks but what sucks worse is knowing she hasn't learned or changed and could hurt others#for now she's just not the safe person she tries to pretend she is and uses her status to manipulate people and that's not cool#ask
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Thank GOD this blog is over.
I knew, vaguely, someday, that this would probably happen. I used Gmod partly as a creative move— I felt like it created an uncanny level of detachment and distance from the world, which I felt represented sanitization and our POV character perfectly… and also because I couldn’t draw. I can draw now. That’s slightly less important and majorly less insightful artistic vision stuff.
There are rumors that the takedown notice is false. If it is, I don’t see the Gmod team going back on their choice anyway. It’s 20 years of work they have to go through and then 20 years of work to undo it for something that may come back and be real.
Now I highly doubt this means Pistachio’s little corner of tumblr is doomed, but I’m now going to go through the process of archiving this blog. Obviously if the comic is somehow taken down, I won’t be able to put it up anywhere else, but you can rest assured it’ll be safe on my hard drive.
Thank you for following Pistachio’s journey.
#I wanted to back up all my models but#I am looking forward to having storage space on my PC again#sigh#guess I’m too late#sanitizedsubject#splatoon#gmod#I know it’s going to be stupid to get emotional over this but#This was the first story I really ever. finished and published?#so even if the visuals were dodgy at times#and it looked a little ‘cringe’.#I still did this! I still did this all by myself! I planned it all out! and followed through.#And it spoke to at least a couple people.#So I’m ok with this because it’s over. I finished it.#and now I can’t turn back. I HAVE to move forward with other projects.#So I will.#find me in the silver garden.#(hint as to my new project BTW that’s not a metaphor—)
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