#but as they grow more comfortable with that kind of intimacy and try new stuff i know mork is gonna tease day so much

[stormyoceans]

not to be that person but. why is this so hot

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 JIB11 Panel

The stars aligned and this year both boys were able to attend JIB which means we got a j2 panel! 🙌

There was a cute and funny moment at the beginning of the panel because Jared went to give Jensen a fist bump but he didn't notice and I guess Jared told him and he cracked up laughing and then they fist bumped. Jared shares that their flight got delayed, and that morning he was signing something and a fan asked him how he was and he replied that he was good that he actually felt awake even though he didn't look it and she just went "oh, i know. your face" 😆 To be fair, both of them do look and sound tired.

Also, you'll notice both are wearing Gucci jackets, they were a gift to them and M from Daniela the organizer of this event.

Jumping into the questions, first one up is: Has there ever been a moment on set where they had to overcome their, or one of, their greatest fears to shoot the scene? For Jared the thing that comes to mind is French Mistake. He says it's one of the most nervous times he's been on the spn set due to all the comedic stuff. He didn't feel comfortable doing comedy as Sam, so he would get really nervous when Sam had to be funny because he was like "Sam’s not really funny he’s kind of just chill". He got really nervous shooting some of the comedic scenes but that otherwise it was pretty fun even the stunt stuff. 

Jensen agress and says he doesn’t think there was ever a greatest fear moment while they were filming spn. That they’re doing network tv which is pretty tame in the world of television and they don’t really write stuff that he thinks would be too out of their comfort zone, and after a few seasons the writers knew what their comfort zone was and kind of played in that and utilized it. He was more uncomfortable doing stuff in The boys.

Jared says he looked comfortable, and Jensen replies "it’s called acting dear boy. I was not comfortable". He says that he was very nervous in a few of those scenes, so much so that he called his mom and told her she'd want to skip the show, that she was not the target audience.

Jared asks him if he has ever shared the story about him calling Kripke and saying he was unsure about some things. He has. Jensen says there were a few scenes he was asked to do that he didn't know he had a line but Kripke found it and Jensen couldn't cross it, he has children who may grow up and see this. Says he thinks there was supposed to be more revealed when Soldier Boy was revealed for the first time and there was supposed to be a little bit more intimacy when Soldier Boy had his fun with the ladies. And he once again shares about how his first day on set, the very first scene he had to film was stepping out of the capsule in front of his new cast and crew butt naked.

Jared makes a joke that he has some of the behind the scenes stuff and he’ll post it later and Jensen quips no pun intended 🤣 We know you do baby 😏

Jared also adds that the most nervous he ever got on the set of spn for another person was the scene where Sam gets hit by a car. It wasn’t him, and their stunts while not dangerous were intense but they felt they could take the hit or do whatever but when his stunt man Mike Carpenter did that scene, he had short hair so they put a bald cap on him and put like a thick liquid padding and then the Sam wig and that’s all he had covering his skull for getting hit by a car. And with this type of stunt there's no way to really control it like the way you land, you just have to try your best not to land on your skull. So they do it the first time, they're watching it wondering if he's gonna get up he does, then the second time his foot got caught on the bumber and he got dragged, and the third time he got up and usually stunt actors and actresses they can have like a broken bone and still say they're all good and ask if they need to do it again but this time he got up and said he was done.

Going back to The Boys, Jensen tells the story about how there's a scene where he picks up Karl Urban's character Butcher, throws him over his head and slams him into a desk, obviously this was done with a stunt guy who was wired up cause Jensen's supposed to be super strong flinging this dude over his body with one arm. So at the appex which is when he's right above Jensen's head, they let the wires lose and Jensen actually slammed him as hard as he could into the desk, they’re not slowing the guy down and the first time he did it Jensen was surprised and was like "omg are you okay???" The dude popped back up, said he was fine, to do it again to which Jensen was like ' I don't wanna' but they did and once Jensen got used to it he felt like a beast. x

What's the stupidest injury they’ve ever got on any set? Jared asks, "how much time you got?"

Jensen says they both have a list of these but the first that comes to mind he thinks it was Wendigo, when he was pulling the gun out of the back of the Impala- Jared corrects him this injury actually happened during Hook Man. Basically, he was grabbing a riffle and he pulled it from the center of the gun and the butt of it got caught on the edge of the trunk and the barrel came up and hit him on the eye, and split him open. He says it was pretty stupid and self inflected too so he has no one to blame but himself.

Jared tells the story of how when they filmed the scene where Leviathan!Sam and Dean rob the bank, they’re supposed to fire off some rounds to get everyone’s attention but his gun was too high so it was out of frame and couldn't be seen so he was asked to keep it lower so he did thing is this is a gun he had never shot before- Jensen says that if it had been a normal gun Jared would have been fine but that this one was a weird russian fully automatic machine gun. Anyways, they do the next take with Jared holding it lower and as he starts firing, something is hurting, he can immediately feel something is wrong so he stops and says he thinks he has to do something different and he looks over at Jensen who's kinda looking at him- Jared had managed to burn himself with the hot brass casings as they were ejecting so he had a bunch of ash burn marks, some of which were bleeding from the impact, across his face. Jared also mentions that it was happening so fast that if it had been a bit lower it would have gone right into his eyeball. Let's all be thankful that did not happen! But also, Jared, how are you going to say y'alls stunts weren't dangerous and then tell stories like this.

Also, right before he tells this story he tells Jensen that he's going to know right away where he's going with this and he's right because the moment he says Leviathan!Sam and Dean in the bank Jensen laughs and says this is one of his favorite Jared bonehead moves, and when Jared is telling the story Jensen says that what he loves is that Jared kept going even though he was being hit in the face. x

If they were to attend a con to meet people who would their dream guests to meet be? Jared says this question is similar to the question of if you could have dinner with somebody who would it be, and his initial response to that is are they going to be honest like if he met Obama or some other world leader would they tell him the truth or would they give him canned answers. He thinks he would probably go mostly to musicians, like Eddie Vedder, he thinks actors bore him cause he is one. He finds himself boring so he feels like the soundtrack of his life is what he would go to; Jensen agrees, he goes with musicians as well even though they don’t really do cons that's more an actor thing to do that being said he thinks Keanu Reeves is an interesting guy. He’s trying to think of who he would want to listen to answer questions and speak about things involved in the industry, he wouldn't mind listening to some of the Marvel cast like RDJ strictly for curiosity purposes not like 'omg Iron Man!' but because he thinks RDJ is an interesting fellow who as a lot of interesting things to say about topics he could related to so he would do it more out of curiosity. x

Would they talk about their tattoos?

Jensen says he hasn’t gotten anything new in a while the latest was a little thumb one he got with JDM. Basically they were at a friends (he doesn't mention her by name but Sophia Bush) wedding in Oklahoma and D and Hil were doing something with the bride which meant they had the afternoon free so naturally as one does with JDM you go for beer and tattoos. Jensen says Jared has gotten a few more than he has recently.

Jared replies there’s a few on the list he hasn’t gotten yet, but he has the basquiat crown with JDM and Jensen which they got at JDM's wedding, the day after spn finished he got one with his friend Bruce which is like a geometric design that when asked about what it is he jokes it’s an iphone update it didn't actually have a meaning it's just a random design that he liked how it looked, a star on his bicep, a "come and take it" kind of thing which he says is really cool because he thinks a month later after he got it come and take it become a women’s right thing in Texas, and he also has an homage to Dr. Seuss story Oh, the Places You'll Go! with a T for Tom, A for Austin which is Shep's name and a little moon for Odette.

They ask if the fan has any tattoos, she does, she has an AKF one and also one for the band A-ha who sing Take On Me and Jared comments he and Jensen have both tried and failed to do the high note from that song. I would love to have seen that. x

If they were to go to comic con and dress up, what would they dress up as? Jensen says his go to would be Red Hood and Batman since he already has those costumes, but the fan says besides those and as he's thinking Jared says Bullwinkle 😂 And Jensen laughs and says, yeah, Rocky and Bullwinkle. I would pay money to see them dress up as Rocky and Bullwinkle 🤣

Jared also says Boba fett, he’d like something with a mask cause he’d like the experience of being around people who are passionate about stuff and not have it be flavored by like "aren’t you that guy who was on Gilmore Girls?” Jensen says he'd go as the screen character cause that just seems very comfortable.  x

What has made them remain best friends for so long? The boys joke, Jared saying it's been way too long and Jensen saying that for the most part it’s been contractual 😂

Jared says it's never been bullshit. Since day one they’ve gotten along and the why? Who knows. They have a similar up bringing and background and likes and dislikes and he thinks primarily it's that they got to see each other during their highs and lows. They went through a lot, 15yrs is kindergarten through college and he saw Jensen and what he was going through more than any other human being on the planet and vice versa Jensen saw Jared and what he was going through, his good times, his bad times, everything in between and so you kind of get to really know the soul of somebody not just who they are at their best. You go to a set anywhere you'll probably enjoy most of the people for the first couple of hours, then they get tired or they've had a bad day and they're an asshole or a jerk but he thinks for them it was just like 'hey, you all right?' That it's like they've known each other since birth even though they've actually known each other less than 20yrs. They kind of had a fastforwarded into the fire and they had each other's back and he guesses that's why, that he wishes he knew. Jared, my darling, you just described soulmates! That person who from the moment you meet you feel like you've known them your whole life with whom you have a connection and a bond that you can't explain- that's your soulmate! 🥹

Jensen thinks there's also that SPN is the biggest thing that has happened to their careers so far, and arguably it's one of the biggest things that has happened to their lives, it's certainly changed both their lives from pre-SPN to now and to have another person understand the multitude of levels on how that changed your life to the degree in which he and Jared know each other he thinks it kind of bonds you in a way that's really indescribable. Nobody understands what his life has been like for the past almost 2 decades more than Jared does because he was pretty much right next to him the whole time and he was also going through the same stuff both personally and professionally that Jensen was going through and that really bonds people in a way that's really indescribable. And that it's a good thing they got along and that they laugh at the same jokes, and like the same music, and cheer for the same sports teams that there's just a lot in common thankfully so when they were put in that situation where they were gonna be side by side for as long as they were it was really easy and enjoyable.

Jared also comments that he thinks in general, not just with working relationships or friendships, but with romantic relationships as well or family relationships he thinks it's extremely important to be able to tell somebody when something hurt you or bothered you, and vice versa to listen when someone goes like 'hey, this happened and it felt off base or it didn't feel cool' and for that person to listen cause if you're really good friends with anybody or are close with anybody you'll have disagreeements and you'll go 'well, here's where I'm coming from, help me to understand where you're coming from' and you'll listen and be like 'got it, let's move forward. ' So it's important just with anybody that you care about to shoot straight. x

A big part of acting is dealing with rejection how do they both deal with keeping motivation in trying to act when getting rejected? Jared says this reminds him of a story of when he was still on Gilmore Girls.

He was auditioning like half a dozen times a week for other projects, and he had bought a house in the valley in LA, and a friend of his then girlfriend came over for like a housewarming party and he was showing her around and by his bed in his bedroom he had a stack of 12 or 15 scripts all stuff he was reading and hoping to get an audition for, and she looked over and asked if those were all the auditions he'd been on, Jared kind of laughed and told her to follow him and walked her over to the garage where he had cardboard boxes full of scripts. He had 300 to 400 scripts of auditions he had been on in the past 3 to 4 years.

He thinks the way he deal with rejection now is to treat auditions or meetings as maybe it’s my performance, maybe this is my chance to play this character and also now that he and Jensen have been on the producing side he realizes how silly casting sometimes gets, there can be 5 people who do an amazing job but they're going to be acting with a brunette and they don't want them to look to similar so they decide to go with a blonde or vice versa, or someone is 5'11 and that's too tall to play a 14 year old because they'll be acting with someone whose 5'3 so it comes down to random things. And that's helped a little bit, seeing the vagaries of casting and subtle nuances that don't even really make sense so he tries to go 'all right, I do my best and if that's the last time I get to play the character then so be it'. (sidenote: Jared pulling out the fancy words, first time in my life hearing the word vagaries)

Jensen says he thinks as one gets older your way of dealing with rejection changes. He and Jared have had really great succes so far in their lives and in their career so when there's rejection now he thinks they can both stand firm on the fact that they've been validated by a multitude of people and their career reflects that so that if somebody says 'no, we don't want you for that role' or 'no, we don't like that idea for a show that you're pitching' they'd be like okay, maybe it's not the right time, maybe they just don't see that vision, maybe they're looking for something else- at this point he quips that maybe they want somebody that's not so oddly tall and Jared quips back or oddly bowlegged 😆 But also that as Jared said knowing what they know about being on the other side of it has really kind of drawn the curtain back and see how a lot of times how ridiculous this process can be in getting to that final stage. So, he thinks they deal with it a little differently now. That early on, when they didn't have that affirmation to kind of rely on it was just thick skin, you had to develop thick skin, somebody says you're not good enough you had to know in your heart that you were good enough and that person just didn't see it. x

Last question, what does Dean mean to Jared and what does Sam mean to Jensen? Jared starts to answer that now, after a couple of years of spn being over cause it's been around two and a half years since they finished filming and I guess the fan thought Jared was throwing an indirect about asking this question after spn has been over for a while so they say it's because this question was prepared a long time ago, and Jared has to clarify that's not what he meant- it was actually a little funny, the fan didn't say it in a rude way or anything like that more like a clarification.

But anyways, Jared says he has more hindsight now and that he'd rather answer this question now than 2 or 3 years ago so where he stands now it's difficult for him to try and differentiate what Dean meant and what Jensen meant all he can say is that he learned a lot from both and a lot of the reason he's the man that he is and the actor he is is because he spent 15yrs looking at Jensen and then they're calling action and he was looking at Dean so it's hard to kind of really parse out exactly what he got- says he got his dad voice from Dean to which Jensen says that so has he, Jared continues saying he learned every step of the way and he thinks it was really exciting. That a lot of what he really liked about Dean was his keep going attitude and that's very similar to Jensen kind of like 'yeah, this sucks but we gotta get through it' or 'all right, we're tired it's 16hrs, it's 4am, it's raining or freezing in Vand and we have to do a fight scene but all right it ain't gonna do itself let's go do it' so that kind of evoked something in him.

Jensen concurs that it's the same for him but also that he knows Sam is a part of Jared, that Sam resides in Jared's personality so getting to see as many times as he did Jared bring that element of himself forward and then take on the embodiment of Sam was like getting to see a specific micro aspect of Jared and how he can mold that and play with that and tell the story using that and he's always thought that he was very gifted in doing so and now he's doing it with another character. He thinks he and Jared, because they weren't classically trained as actors and didn't have any formal training to speak of at all they had to learn to use what they knew and that's essentially themselves, Dean is certainly a part of his personality that is exaggerated, Sam is also a part of Jared's personality that is exaggerated so they got to play this kind of exagerated versions of themselves with each other and then they'd yell cut and they'd go back to being themselves so he really feels it's just part of the package that he got with Jared and he'll forever be grateful for that and he looks forward to the next time he gets to see him morph into Sam. Those are lovely answers 💕

J2 JIB11 Panel

[tired-biscuit]

I am 100% sure you've been asked before, but do you have a favourite Kiba ship? And any particular thoughts about their funtimes?

i like most ships that include kiba, but my favourite one is kibahina <3

18+ stuff below

and if by funtimes you mean how they fuck, the first thing that comes to mind with them is corruption. i think he'd enjoy the idea of being her first everything and thus leaving a mark she wouldn't be quite able to get rid of; it'd pump his ego but also because he just cares so deeply about her and wants to move her in the same way as she moves him.

he's more experienced than her. definitely has a thing for seeing her all fucked out and getting red in the face and super overwhelmed as she tries to take him - thus the corruption kink. really likes how soft and warm she is all over and how responsive she gets because she's so sensitive and eager (but in a timid sort of way, of course) to learn. if he manages to break the sombre composure her clan had tried to drill into her, he's on cloud nine.

she on the other hand likes him because he's so open about his feelings. he tells (or shows) her exactly what he wants, how he wants it, when he wants it. also treats her well afterwards even if he sometimes loses it a bit and gets more rough during the act itself; the aftercare is immaculate intimacy-wise. he will make sure she's comfortable afterwards and insist on some naked cuddles.

he also helps her out a lot, like his hand will guide her own when it comes to stroking his cock, he'll help her ride him better by gripping her hips, etc... that kind of thing. he likes to degrade but will praise her instead because she's special to him and it makes her heart flutter when he admits it. and she also loves that he's bigger and stronger than her, it just makes her feels safe and protected.

however, i do think that he'd actually be really sweet and patient with her in the beginning and would just satisfy his own libido by taking care of himself on his own until she'd be ready. i really don't see him pressuring her into anything she doesn't want because like i said, he cares about hinata way too much. though i do think the thought of him taking her virginity makes him fuck his fist way more often than usual lmao........

also, he makes her squirt. a lot. don't ask why, it's just fitting for them, idk.

you can find more of my kibahina thoughts here or read the fic i wrote about them here. also, you can check out this wonderful art of them by kankuroplease!!

oh oh oh, also, i've recently really started liking the idea of kibaino. they'd be the hot couple and i like to think that they'd also be really kinky and would be so eager to try new things hahhah..... it'd be a slightly toxic relationship imo, cos she'd definitely love to provoke him and make him jealous and he'd grow insecure about it, but goddamn, i just know they'd fuck, ok?? like he'd make her scream and she'd scratch the hell outta his back <3

[ilikekidsshows]

Hi! I loved the Adrinette analysis you made...do you think you could make a similar one for Ladybug and Chat Noir over seasons 1 to 3?

I knew I was leaving myself open for this ask, and I kinda dreaded it, because 80% of Ladynoir screen time is dedicated to defeating an Akuma, meaning the characters have something else to focus on rather than progressing their relationship, and most the relationship stuff is just Marinette being really stubborn and refusing to properly look at her partner. In other words, there's significantly more screen time, but also proportionally less stuff going on in Ladynoir than in Adrinette because the characters are superheroes on the job and one party is actively resisting any development happening. It's also a very different kind of arc and relationship to Adrinette where the goal is just the two of them getting closer and more comfortable with each other. Ladynoir has that as well as all the trust issues and superhero team dynamics. Basically, this post is definitive proof that Miraculous has had plot development before season four, and it has had a lot of it. I got almost dizzy with it while compiling this.

Once again, I’m trying to go in a somewhat chronological order to properly track the relationship.

In 'Origins', we only get one-sided Ladynoir stuff. Marinette is new on the job and completely focused on solving the Akuma problem and nothing else. Meanwhile, Adrien actually takes note of his partner. He sees her flounder but ultimately put together a clever plan. He sees her lose faith but ultimately pick herself up and deliver a really badass speech at Hawk Moth. It's really no wonder he fell in love. The number one thing he learned about Ladybug is that she can fail and the second thing was that she could pick herself up again and grab the win anyway. I've brought up earlier in the Top Adrinette Scene discussion that Adrien is very scared of failing, because his father does not forgive failure, so Ladybug being someone who can turn a failure into a win understandably makes his heart go pitter-patter.

Meanwhile, Marinette barely noticed her partner. As I said, she was fully focused on solving the problem, but she was also getting distracted by her own insecurities. Marinette's first experience with Cat Noir was that he was kinda smooth and seemed to be much more confident than Marinette. Her second experience was that he tended to leap before he looked, but was perfectly willing to listen to her say-so. We have a very brief attempt at flirtation from Cat Noir, that Ladybug barely seems to even notice.

In 'Bubbler', Cat Noir actually gets to flirt with his Lady. He's clearly intent on getting her to notice what he's getting at, but Ladybug seems mostly exasperated with him. At this point their partnership is new and Marinette is most likely thinking back to their first case, when Cat Noir was so patient and supportive and not this...much. She still doesn't tell him to quit it, though, meaning she’s trying to accept him being a lot.

'Stormy Weather' has Cat Noir continuing in his attempts to get Ladybug to notice him and this time she responds playfully when they're not right in the middle of a tense situation. She's getting used to this being Cat's way of interacting with her and keeping the mood light.

'Lady Wifi' has the pair discussing the secrecy between them, with Adrien actively making the decision that honoring Ladybug's wishes concerning keeping their secret identities is more important than knowing the identity of the girl he's in love with, that doing so is the proper way to love her. 'Lady Wifi' is also the first time Marinette panics at the idea of something romantic being suggested about her and Cat Noir, when Alya says Adrien might be Cat Noir, that Cat Noir might be the boy she's repeatedly told Alya she's in love with.

'Copycat' shows us for a fact that Ladybug has no idea that Cat Noir's flirtations with her are genuine, and Cat Noir is growing tired of his feelings going entirely unnoticed.

Because of his growing frustration over not being able to communicate his feelings to Ladybug in a manner that she'd take seriously, Adrien goes the extra mile to write her a love poem in 'Dark Cupid'. When he receives a response that appeared with no sender, just a ladybug, he entertains the thought that Ladybug answered his poem and does in fact return his feelings (not realizing that Ladybug would need to know his identity to deliver such a note to him specifically, but Adrien does generally worry less about secret identities than Marinette). 'Dark Cupid' is also the first occasion of Marinette's by-now patented plan "Pretend to be in Love with Cat Noir" to solve problems, except that she was absolutely certain that a True Love's Kiss could occur between them, so there isn't even much room for pretending, but Marinette's denial is so powerful, she'll try.

In 'The Mime' we see Cat Noir actually testing Ladybug's receptiveness to a date, by suggesting that they could have gone to the play together if they didn't have to detransform. Ladybug replies that she has other plans before zipping away, and Cat Noir merely smiles after her. His feelings are growing, and he might still be remembering the love note he got. In fact, this is probably why he says "We are meant to be," in 'Gamer'.

In 'Animan' Ladybug actually does some of her own flirting with Cat Noir by giving him chin scritches. We also see a very straightforward gesture of affection from Cat Noir to Ladybug, when he hugs her in relief after the battle. Ladybug smiles softly at him, seeing that her partner cares about her well-being, while Cat Noir jumps back, embarrassed over his own reaction, or perhaps even afraid of censure. Adrien isn't the type of person to suddenly grab people in a hug, most likely because such "overly emotional" displays are discouraged in the Agreste household. This is the first occasion of Adrien projecting his father's supposed reaction to a thing he does on Ladybug, so he runs away from her.

In 'Simon Says', Cat Noir clings to Ladybug when faced with Gabriel looking at him weirdly (he's trying to figure out if he's Adrien, but Adrien himself never realizes his father was suspicious of his identity). At this point, Ladybug has started to become something of a security symbol to Adrien specifically against his father.

'Reflekta' is the episode where Cat Noir reminds Ladybug that he doesn't just deliver quips and he is actually a hero in his own right, even with diminished capabilities, in response to Marinette almost leaving him behind because he couldn't use his Cat Noir powers, because he'd "just slow (her) down", and then it turns out she couldn't have won without him. However, with the scene of Cat Noir taking the hit, Ladybug also starts on the process of realizing exactly how important her partner is to her success. Noticeably, it's while they're plotting together that Ladybug responds to his flirtation by flirting back, even if not very well (protip, Marinette, demeaning someone isn't funny to anyone but the person doing the demeaning, the other person is not suddenly lacking a sense of humor). Cat Noir is also a bit softer with his overtures in this episode, his cheeky flirtation gaining a bit more intimacy.

In 'Antibug', we can see the lessons Ladybug learned in 'Reflekta' sticking, with Ladybug listening to and valuing Cat Noir's input, unlike how the last time he tried to give her advice in a Chloé situation in 'Evillustrator', when she acknowledged he was right but couldn't bring herself to follow his advice. She also flirts with Cat Noir of her own volition, when she rings his bell. Cat Noir also keeps showing genuine warmth towards Ladybug instead of being just cheeky, when Ladybug compliments him. They affirm their bond after taking down Antibug.

The events of 'Reflekta' and 'Antibug' together influence what happens in 'Volpina', where Marinette is very suspicious of a new superhero showing up, without ever suspecting she could have been an Akuma in disguise. Cat Noir is her partner, and Cat Noir is her only partner. She’s not only learned his value, but has grown possessive over him. There's no need for any outsider. This jealousy over Cat Noir is actually something Marinette doesn't get over during the first three seasons the way she learns to deal with her jealousy over Adrien.

By the time 'The Collector' happens, Adrien has developed enough trust in his partner to ultimately believe her over her suspicions about Gabriel being Hawk Moth. This episode also has the first time Marinette voices concern over Cat Noir's emotional well-being instead of merely physical, who, of course, can't tell her what's wrong because it would break the secret identity clause.

'Prime Queen' has some very nice mutual Ladynoir flirting at the start of the interview. However, they're both mortified when Nadja comes out with the pictures. Cat Noir is confused, because he had no idea that their relationship could even give that impression, he must have been feeling like he hasn't been making much progress in getting closer to Ladybug. Meanwhile, Marinette goes defensive for the first time since 'Lady Wifi' only, this time, even more so. She even runs out on Cat Noir when he, very understandably, wants an explanation why he head to learn from a reporter that she'd planted one on him instead of from her. The episode confirms that Marinette will refuse to, in any way, discuss anything romance-related in relation to Cat Noir, even when there's an innocent explanation, like breaking an Akuma's spell. She's so defensive it's suspicious.

We also have another occasion of Marinette "pretending" to be in love with Cat Noir to solve a problem. While Cat Noir purrs either over the confession, having her close, or both. Marinette also jumped at the chance to "pretend" to confess her love so eagerly, that it left Prime Queen unimpressed. Still, Marinette refused to commit to the "ruse" enough to kiss Cat Noir while he's actually conscious and aware of it, because then she'd have to deal with the aftermath of kissing him.

'Dark Owl' has the first true test of faith between Ladybug and Cat Noir, when both of them have to trust the other not to look while they have to recharge. Although, considering 'The Collector', this is actually the first test only for Ladybug. At the end of the episode, Adrien also genuinely asks Ladybug out on a date for the very first time when they unexpectedly have free time from Owl-sitting, but Marinette preferred to skip off to spend time with Alya since she hadn’t gotten to see her while being so busy with The Owl's antics for so long.

'Glaciator' has Cat Noir planning an actual outing for Ladybug. The thing is, before 'Glaciator', Marinette's response to Cat Noir asking her out has always been that she has other plans, no can do. However, in 'Glaciator', she specifically says: "We'll see," and then she ends up ghosting him because she forgot to even send him a message that she didn't feel like going anywhere. At the same time, Gabriel purposefully stands him up for dinner, causing Adrien to project onto the Ladybug situation so hard that he doesn't think Ladybug even sees him as a real friend. Considering Adrien was under the same impression about Marinette in 'Puppeteer 2', it is typical for Marinette to send these kinds of mixed signals (which is fitting, considering how clear communication seems to be the biggest bullet point in her character development agenda).

On the upside, Cat Noir's compromised emotional state led to him being more frank about his feelings to first Marinette and later to Ladybug, finally making Marinette understand that Cat Noir is actually in love with her and how sensitive her partner can really be and that she can hurt his feelings. Notably, in this episode, Marinette particularly enjoys employing her "Pretend to be in love with Cat Noir" gambit, this time even going as far as kissing him, after finding out he's actually in love with her. Indeed, at the end of the episode, her rejection to Cat Noir is entirely focused on her having feelings for someone else (as well). She never once said she doesn't love him, and, in fact, never claims so in the English dub.

In 'Sapotis' we also see a brief glimpse of Marinette's jealousy over Cat Noir when he welcomes Alya onto the team so warmly but, because Rena Rouge was a teammate Marinette herself chose and trusts, she doesn't feel threatened enough to express it more than by merely keeping an eye on their interaction. 'Sapotis' also starts the arc of Cat Noir starting to lose faith in Ladybug having his best interest in mind when Rena Rouge appears out of nowhere and he's expected to just accept that no-questions-asked.

'Gorizilla' notably has Marinette repeatedly voicing her belief that Cat Noir will show up, something Adrien appreciates a great deal, going as far as blushing over something so simple. He's astounded by the fact that his Lady has faith in him, but it seems he still believes it despite the notion being strange to him.

'Frightningale' really drives home the arc going on in this season. 'Riposte' was the first time we saw Ladybug and Cat Noir seamlessly working together to neutralize an Akuma, but in this episode, they move in perfect synch while fighting Frightningale while handcuffed together. Cat Noir and Ladybug's teamwork has reached phenomenal levels.

I've repeatedly said that 'Syren' is less about Cat Noir and Ladybug's relationship and more about Fu's relationships with his two chosen. Still, this is the episode where Marinette gets put on the spot and comes through for her partner and Cat Noir learns that Ladybug keeping secrets from him wasn't of her own volition, but because of Fu, restoring his faith in her completely.

It's most likely because of the trust Ladybug showed towards him in 'Gorizilla' and their perfectly synchronized teamwork in 'Frightningale' that Cat Noir tries to confess to Ladybug again in 'Frozer'. These two episodes could give Cat Noir hope that he might be winning Ladybug over, especially since, as I said before, Ladybug has not said she doesn't have feelings for him. But she, of course, rejects him, although it's notably with more wistfulness than the last time, especially when she comments how she doesn't think it's possible for the "other boy" to not be a concern. 'Frozer' takes place during the arc in season two that covers Marinette's growing frustration at her inability to progress with Adrien the way she wants to and the discontent shows in her interaction with Cat Noir as well.

The change in how Marinette regards Cat Noir's input in fights between season one and two is especially noticeable in 'Style Queen' and 'Maledictator'. Both times Cat Noir is absent in a fight and this influences how Marinette approaches fighting the Akumas. In 'Style Queen' Marinette tries to play it sneaky but also needs to be saved by Plagg's intervention in his holder's absence. In 'Maledictator', Marinette's plan involved siccing the brainwashed Cat Noir on the Akuma's goons. Cat Noir has become necessary to Marinette, which is why he's able to galvanize her during 'Heroes' Day' by reminding her that the two of them against the world is what's always worked.

Season three as a whole revolves around Adrien losing faith that Ladybug could ever return his feelings the way he wishes and Marinette getting several warning signs about how she could lose Cat Noir. I might even go as far as saying that this season has negative Ladynoir development (in that their relationship grows more frayed and brittle instead of stronger).

A big reason for this new development direction is 'Reflekdoll', which, according to the production codes, happens early in the season. In this episode, Ladybug and Cat Noir learn the worst possible (false) lessons about themselves and each other and they carry those lessons for the rest of the season. In my 'Reflekdoll' conflict analysis, I wrote that Ladybug basically "learns" that Cat Noir is fae-like in that he isn't bothered by mortal things like stress or heartbreak. Cat Noir, meanwhile, "learns" that, while it doesn't matter if Ladybug makes a mistake because she can always fix it, him making a mistake makes him fundamentally less worthy as a hero and a person, so he could never be as valuable as Ladybug even as a person and not only strategically.

'Weredad', meanwhile, is the quintessential evidence episode for Marinette being both possessive and in denial about Cat Noir. She's literally pretending to be in love with him to him, while totally denying to herself that she feels anything for him, all the while she's feeling jealous over him seemingly moving on from her to be in love with her. The reason it's so important that no one but Marinette herself and Tikki know what went down in this episode is that Marinette's denial would never last if someone actually questioned this whole mess.

This is also an episode where we can clearly see the aftermath of what 'Reflekdoll' did to Cat Noir. He's once again projecting his situation with his father onto someone else (this time Tom), but he's also blatantly refusing to fight Tom at full strength, because he feels that it's his fault he got Akumatized, allowing himself to get hurt severely because he feels he's not that important, that he might even deserve it.

'Oblivio' has Ladybug once again do the whole: "How dare you say I'm in love with Cat Noir I am quitting this conversation right now!" routine. Cat Noir also got actual confirmation that something about him made his Lady want to kiss him when their memories had been wiped.

'Desperada' has the semi-infamous scene of Ladybug saying she doesn't need Cat Noir and, while she learns the valuable lesson that yes she flipping does, this is also the episode where Adrien repeatedly fails to use the Snake Miraculous correctly, having to give it up to someone else, feeling like an undeserving failure *turns to look at 'Weredad' and then at ‘Reflekdoll*.

'Kwamibuster' is an episode where everyone keeps telling Ladybug not to trust Cat Noir and she believes it to the degree that she sees him as a bigger threat than a Kwami-targeting Akuma. In other words, Cat Noir being treated like a part-time hero again in season four is because of 'Kwamibuster'.

'Gamer 2.0' is actually an important episode for the Ladynoir dynamic. This is the episode where Marinette takes on way too much responsibility (voluntarily) and is really stressed about it, while Cat Noir dismantles that stress with his good humor and positive outlook. This episode enforces the lesson that was stated outright in 'Reflekdoll': "Everyone has their role", and Cat Noir's role is to be the jokester who makes Ladybug feel better. Also, Cat Noir doesn’t even hesitate to make a sacrifice play for his Lady, because he’s less important.

'Timetagger' foreshadows that Marinette's words of affirmation are losing their effect. She repeatedly says things like "I trust Cat Noir", "You're irreplaceable", "You know you're the best", but she doesn't know how to express her regard to Cat Noir in actions. And it's important to note that Adrien was raised among liars and manipulators. Even if he doesn't doubt Ladybug's intentions, he might doubt the depth and truth of her feelings for him. Because Ladybug is so nice, she might lie about valuing him to make him feel better. Words aren't enough when words are the only thing between you and your insecurities. This is also an episode that feeds into Cat Noir's worthlessness arc, with Bunnyx repeatedly insisting that Ladybug in the future is just awesome, while Cat Noir broke her Miraculous. Even Ladybug shoots him down at the end of the episode when he tries to ask for extra affirmation, claiming he "already knows he's great".

In 'Puppeteer 2', Cat Noir's hope from 'Oblivio' that Ladybug might be starting to be won over by him comes back to bite him when the wax Ladybug gets close to him by pretending to be coming onto him. He only realized she was a fake because she smelled wrong, something that comes back to haunt him in 'Ladybug', when he's faced with a perfect copy, whose only difference to the original is that she's apparently in love with him. The villains clearly know he’s so in love with Ladybug it sometimes blinds him.

With the villains using this clear weakness as an in, it's no wonder that Cat Noir finally makes the decision to move on from Ladybug in 'Heart Hunter'. He tries one more time to test her interest to see if she'd be jealous of him dating and, when she's merely overjoyed, he decides to finally move on to Kagami. However, when faced with the actual reality of Cat Noir giving his attention to someone else instead of her (instead of in addition to her), Ladybug actually finds herself hurt and questions the lack of "My Lady" in Cat Noir addressing her, but she instantly denies it when Cat Noir notices. Denial denial denial...

Aaaaaand that's a wrap! Putting this together made me realize just how interconnected the show really is but no one notices because there aren’t any secret identities being revealed, people getting together or lore being revealed. Even something that seems like a breather episode like 'Gamer 2.0' has a larger role in the arc of developing the relationship between our main heroes.

[nari-nim]

hongjoong as your boyfriend

nari note: ah yes, my bias wrecker :’) got requests for mingi and jongho, so they’re coming soon...but who else after them for this series? gif creds go to @hongjooong

Listen, his time is so precious so when he’s spending it with you? You’re precious. He doesn’t bother wasting his time with people who do not add value to his life, so when he’s paying extra attention to you and offering to buy you coffee on the way to work? Someone likes youuuu ;)

Likes to be friends first before dating

You definitely catch him staring at you a lot

He just thinks you’re so beautiful doing the most mundane tasks :((

Will make sure the relationship will work out before asking you out

Or ask him out and he’ll move mountains to make it work

Oh god he takes intimacy and closeness so seriously, so he will be careful about skinship when y’all first date

But he loves the feeling of you in his arms

Or when you back hug him at work

Speaking of work, absolutely the type to produce and sing love songs for you

Like a whole fucking album

But he won’t publish all of the songs for the public, some are simply just for your ears 

Not in the way where all the lyrics are all R-rated, although he will make some of those songs for sure

But like very much likes to pour his heart out into the lyrics and beats, so those songs especially are just for you

He’s so loyal. Will work anything and everything out. 

Love language is quality time (receiving) and acts of service (giving). This combination leads to a lot of romantic and sensual nights in! Think: making dinner together, eating candle lit dinner, warm baths, stuff that leads to more (expanded on later ;)), all those good cliches.

If it’s in the daytime, scenic drives while blasting music, taking photos on film cameras, chilling by the ocean, all of this fits so well with Hongjoong. 

Date where he teaches you how to reform clothes and you end up creating a matching set together. Couple outfit. Couple goals.

Also nap dates!! 

Cuddle him while he gets this well deserved and much needed rest! 

Remembers literally everything you tell him

Very attentive listener, most likely won’t accidentally fall asleep

This means he gives really thoughtful and sentimental gifts, remembers all the important dates, and absolutely will remember that random person in college that hit on you from one singular conversation about them

all or nothing. Just super devoted and loyal.

Will want to help you learn, grow, and pursue your goals. Not exactly a hype man, but will help you slowly and steadily in the background

For example, uses his connections to help point you to the right direction for this risky career choice but won’t take credit for it unless you press him about it

Hmm.. the type to mentally fixate on a problem or try to solve it on his own because he just wants to see you happy, so make sure you try to coax whatever might bother him out so y’all can face the issues together!

But, he’s extremely good at communicating and conflict resolution

After the first few months, arguments are super rare because y’all worked out the biggest issues by then

And if anything comes up, he is so good at actively listening to you, finding compromises, and voicing his needs in a super understanding way

Ugh someone cuff this mans

Speaking of communication, he’s the type to only talk about his deepest worries or insecurities with the closest loved ones in his life so get ready to see a whole new side of him when dating

Will be so vulnerable and open with you so treat him gently and with kindness!

Deep conversations until the late am

A great ear when it comes to listening to you

Always has great, heartfelt advice

He’s someone you can always lean on! He has your back, always

But also make sure to be there for him because we all know he goes through so much and the strongest people need the strongest support

He’s okay with PDA, but not too much in front of people in KQ

Sticks to hand holding and little else

But he is such a cuddle bug in private! He actually lay on top of you or trap you on his lap, not letting you leave unless it’s an emergency

His hugs feel so safe

When y’all cuddle, you always feel so secure, warm, and loved

Dating him is the equivalent of understanding what a deep sense of belonging feels like

Haha y’all should dare each other to try spicy foods 

Because if you like spice/take it well, watch him look at you in amazement and slight horror

And then proceed to sneak the spicy foods in his dish onto your plate whenever y’all eat out together

Even better, you eat the spicy looking food first as his personal taste tester and after a solemn nod, you just quietly take it off his plate for him/move the dish closer to you. You are his superhero.

Or if you can’t take it well like him, at least you both have fun chugging milk together

A true bonding experience either way

NSFW after this

Switch but with an extremely heavy dom lean

Eager to please. More than anything, likes to make sure you’re both pleasuring each other. 

Loves to hear details of your sexual experience and what you like in bed. Simply as a way of getting to know you more. So y’all could literally be talking about choking on his dick casually over lunch. Seonghwa almost spat his drink out while passing by

He is consent king wbk

When y’all first started dating, there were times he forced you to stop kissing him just so he could pressed his forehead against yours and take some ragged breaths, hands gripping at your shoulders tightly, as he pulled himself together and tried to calm down 

Because intense makeout sessions really turn him on

But once you experimentally rock your hips against his, watch his eyes shoot open and look at you with bated anticipation

The first time y’all get down and dirty he’s literally checking in with you before he does anything

Which is so cute, but you’re literally like “just fuck me” at one point

Once he knows your limits though, likes testing them little by little, but always checking in to see how you are doing

Definitely has hard dom potential, especially after both of you get super comfortable

But he still checks in, whether it be gruffly demand your color or pausing to look at you with a questioning look. Just depends on how fucked out you are.

Always coming up with ways to maximize your pleasure, will give everything you suggest a shot

He appreciates visuals. Likes seeing you in his clothes or in lingerie he bought you

Really into orgasm control

He loves loves loves hearing you whine for him

But also

He’s into breath he’s into breath play he’s into breath play he’s into breath play

Hm shamelessly bringing in astrology: so his scorpio ass can actually be quite freaky. But more than anything, he’s very intense during sex. 

But would fuck you as stress relief after a long day 

That… that gets really intense

You’ve used your safe word against him a few times before on those particular days

Also y’all have needy, desperate sex a lot 

Because he’s so busy and you have your own life so when you get to have your time together, it can be a little animalistic the first few rounds

Then it transitions to like love making…very sweet, slow, and sensual :)

OH he is so romantic on anniversaries! He absolutely loves making it special and will spend the night making you shake from pleasure

But on other days where he’s tired as fuck, this is your chance to take care of him! Not necessarily doming him, but being a service top and cuddling him so well afterwards? He honestly loves it so much more than he lets on

Honestly though, I do see him as someone who will let you dom him if you are both feeling it

Not always, but again, he wants to maximize your pleasure

One time he let you top and you started licking his nipples  #hongtiddies and it felt so good for him, you can tell from the way he starts squirming, rutting his hips up at you, and whimpering for you

Got shy before he hit subspace and you used it to mock him a little

Peg him. He'll take it. Like a mess. 

Cums so hard

Was so red after

Pillow talk hits so different

Y’all are both bathing in that post-sex glow, faces inches apart, him kissing your knuckles tenderly, looking deep into your eyes while you both talk about your future, dreams, and aspirations

Whispers his “I love you”s at this time with such sincerity

You can just see the love in his eyes and gentle smile 

</3

[rayofsunas]

s/o is too shy to ask for affection.

A/n: happy friday! I hope you're all doing well <33 this week has felt so slow, thank god it's over. just a reminder, I'm taking questions for my Q&A and all types of questions are welcome! ask me anything! as always, thank you for requesting anon, and enjoy all!

Summary: s/o who is affectionate but too shy to ask for kisses/hugs, etc. but eventually, they warm up once the boys help them feel more comfortable.

Parings: Aether/Gn! Reader, Albedo/Gn! Reader, Xingqiu/Gn! Reader (he's my bb, I had to add him)

Warnings: fluff

Word count: 760

Aether

he knows this feeling all too well

he's kind of shy, despite traveling through all these regions and lands, meeting new people and such

he's worried he'll overcompensate when it comes to showing affection, especially since you're shy like he is, he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable

that's the last thing on his mind

but if you're to the point in your relationship where you both trust each other a lot, he'll start making the advances towards you if you don't feel comfortable to do so

if you're nervous to hug him, but you're leaning close into his side, he knows what to do

he may feel awkward at first, especially if you're in public

he blushes the brightest pink every time

but eventually, he'll grow more comfortable when comforting you, and he will initiate the hugs and kisses (sometimes you're feeling brave too though!)

if you're too shy to ask for kisses, ngl he's shy too

kisses are wayyy different than hugs, that's a new level of intimacy

so if neither of you asks the other, I can see them occurring randomly

but somehow, Paimon always and I mean ALWAYS adds her two sense

she helps Aether be more open and clues him in on certain things

"They look kind of antsy, why don't you give them a hug!!"

yes, Paimon helps initiate a lot of the affectionate behavior

she's always nearby so it's kind of impossible for her not to be there

thank goodness for Paimon

but also go away!?!?

Albedo

unlike Aether, Albedo isn't necessarily shy, he's just reserved and not used to affection such as hugs and kisses

especially kisses

he gives little klee hugs all the time, but for a lover, those actions are entirely different

he grew up without much affection, so it's not as if he's shy, he just doesn't know what's too much or too little

Albedo really just isn't sure how to go about it

he can read you like a book, but he's worried that he'll do something wrong because he's so unsure

if you feel uncomfortable or are too shy, he's going to take it as being his fault

he'll take it personally and will do whatever to try and fix that

he wants you to feel comfortable initiating affection, since he's so clueless

poor boy doesn't understand that it's not his fault that you're shy, it's no ones!

you're just naturally shy and not so bold when it comes to hugs and kisses

he'll probably ask Sucrose a lotttt, she's like his mentor when it comes to this

he'll read all kinds of books too ngl

and the alchemist in him will want to experiment in some way

he knows there's different kinds of hugs (after doing all that reading) and he knows they can be accepted differently based on how they occur

his experiment consists of hugging or kissing you in different ways, to see which ones you react better to/feel more comfortable doing

forehead kisses and back hugs are so cute ;-;

Xingqiu

oh man, he's an expert when it comes to this stuff! not really, but he's just not shy and he'll run up to you at the most awkward/unprofessional moments and just smother you with hugs and kisses

yeah, it's not a problem that others are watching, he'll just sheepishly scratch the back of his neck and continue with his day

he lives carelessly, so he often initiates a lot of affection whenever he feels like it

of course, as long as you're comfortable with that

he'll establish boundaries in the very beginning when you start dating and he trusts that you'll tell him when you're not comfortable in certain situations

but if you don't tell him, he has this gut feeling and he'll immediately stop

honestly and no so surprisingly, he never wants to make you uncomfortable

he often initiates the hugs and kisses, and overtime, because of his personality, he'll help you feel more comfortable

"my love, please don't be so shy! this is normal between couples."

of course, no one can change overnight and just for one person

but he'll make it his mission to guide you to be able to show the affection you so badly want to give him, all while being comfortable and not stepping too far away from your personality

let's be real, if you're too shy, his personality is a definite booster and comforter

he helps you feel as though you can act however you'd wish around him and he initiates a lot of the affection, so it's a win-win!

3.26.21, rayofsunas

[haligtreedream]

About:

First off, this is a side blog of @squaretablehold so all the tumblr stuff comes from there.

Second, this is less going to be a profile and more just one big long meta post about my personal interpretation of the lore, Miquella’s character, and the thematic interpretations I’m bringing to this blog no matter what canon says. Also, for context, I’m a nonbinary wheelchair user so a good amount of what I’m talking about here draws on personal experience.

Eternal Childhood and Disability Narrative

I favor the interpretation that Miquella is closer to an adult with a childlike body, because it goes hand in hand with him as a physically disabled character.

That said I won’t be diagnosing him with any kind of “real” disability because this is a fantasy world, he’s a demi-god, and also there’s just not enough concrete information to make any kind of educated call on that.

I won’t be portraying him as mentally disabled because I didn’t get that from his writing, and it’s not something I’m confident in my ability to portray. 

Miquella being relegated to the role of a child, people treating him like a child when he has the mental capacity and experience far beyond that of one, and him having to rely on the physical capabilities of others (I scream about the significance of “Blade of Miquella” in the context of what that means to people in as martial a society as the Lands Between) all because of an aspect of his physicality outside of his control is PEAK disability metaphor.

I do not care if this was the authorial intent. My house now.

If my Miquella seems childlike there could be a multitude of things happening. He grew up sheltered as a sickly demi-god infantilized long into adulthood so he is actually ignorant to parts of the world. He is making seemingly naive claims specifically to demand why things can’t be made better, challenge those that refuse to try, and refuse to equivocate hope with naivete. One cannot create a better world without first dreaming of it. Or he is being manipulative by playing to people’s expectations of him. 

Gender, Disability, and St. Trina

Miquella and St. Trina are the same person, I think that’s pretty clear from the lore.

I write them as somewhat genderfluid somewhat bigender somewhat *waves hand at fantasy linguistics and gender roles in the Lands Between*

In my headcanon St. Trina started out as an alter-ego Miquella would use to sneak out and escape godly expectations, but soon just became a new expression of her actual self.

One thing that complicates their relationship to gender is the infantilization they experience. 

As a result of looking like a child, socially they are regulated to the role and gendered expectations of a child, even if they feel as though they should be able to grow beyond that and desire to do so. 

Whether they are a boy or a girl, they cannot be a man or a woman.

Which leads me to…

Infantilization, Relationships, and Dysphoria (aka Miquella’s no shipping rule)

Miquella is infantilized by just about everyone in his life, save maybe his twin sister. This colors basically every interaction he has.

Therefore he avoids any kind of romantic or sexual relationships because any and all overtures that have been made in the past have made him intensely uncomfortable (people have been executed), and even if he did feel as though someone could see him as the adult he feels he is, not only can he never be sure, but he’s far too uncomfortable with his own body for anything other than platonic intimacy.

I will not be “shipping” Miquella, but I will write him as aware of these dynamics and aspects of life that he doesn’t have access to, or even necessarily feel comfortable desiring. 

I am not writing him as a child character, but as a complex being that would not exist in the real world, and has to grapple with being denied certain aspects of social adult life that he, by all means, should have and would have grown into long ago.

Compulsion, Condescension, Manipulation, and Power

I intend to leave how much Miquella can actually magically compel people to love and obey him vague, unless items are involved.

I think it works well with his character, moral ambiguity, and the ways in which he is and isn’t in control of his own life.

He cannot stop people from condescending to him because they infantilize him and likewise how much he can control them fawning and cooing over him being so precious and inspirational is left up in the air.

Harm that looks like and is intended as help is practically part and parcel with being disabled, as is love that would be control.

This isn’t to say he can’t be a manipulative little shit, and control people the old fashioned way. He can and absolutely will do that.

I prefer to interpret Miquella and Malenia as codependent instead of Miquella having some kind of godly power over her, it’s still not necessarily healthy, but it’s not just a one way thing.

I was planning to write a whole thing about soft-power and what it means that Miquella is “the most fearsome empyrean” but I’m not sure anyone will actually keep reading if I try and bring actual political analysis language into this so well eh.

[crash-cinematic-universe]

tiger lilies, self destructing, and richard siken

pairing: peter maximoff/reader

summary: to peter maximoff, love is an anomaly that scares him more than anything else. however, you might be able to help him overcome his fear.

warnings: language! but that’s about it. kind of cheesy at some points but yknow what im not lactose intolerant

notes: this is the monsterous fic thats been kicking my ass this past week (6.2k words babey!!!) i was originally going to add ~~steamy~~ section to this one but i decided against it to make it readable for those who don’t wanna see that kind of stuff. if you want me to separately publish that then just lmk!!  (if any of yall wanna talk about richard siken to me then please do, his work is so good)

taglist: @stranger-names ,  @gooseyhouse , @parkersdarling​ 

1. 

To Peter Maximoff, physical affection has always been a touchy subject-- no pun intended. His speed is a blessing, but also a bitter curse. He moves at the speed of sound, bouncing off the walls and tearing up the roads; he moves impossibly fast, and no one ever tries to catch up with him. People get tired of Peter rather quickly, not bothering to get attached to him when they know they can’t keep up. 

That’s why it’s so jarringly startling when you decide to stick around. When faced with the grand decision of throwing in the towel and leaving Peter behind or sticking around and trying your best, you chose the latter. It was surprising, to say the least. Peter waited patiently for the distance between the two of you to start growing; he waited for the void you once filled to open up again. However, the void never emptied, and the distance never grew. 

To anyone else, this would be a wonderful experience. Knowing that you wouldn’t be left behind or forgotten about would be comforting to anyone else in Peter’s position. However, this did the exact opposite for Peter. He wasn’t comforted or relaxed, on the contrary, he was always on edge. The future was cruel, and the mystery of it all felt like torture. 

To quote the great Richard Silken, “Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.” Peter lived and breathed by this ideology, that everyone he loves would have to leave eventually, whether it be by their own volition or not. It was obvious that you didn’t plan on abandoning ship anytime soon, so Peter decided he’d take matters into his own hands. If you weren’t going to be the first one to walk away, then he’d be the one to run away from you. He soon came to learn that loneliness was at its most bitter when you’ve come to taste the sweetness of love. 

Love was a strange, complicated beast that Peter Maximoff had never dealt with before. If he were to be completely honest, love scared him. It scared him more than dying scared him. To Peter, death was an escape. Death was the end of a tiring journey, it was safe and simple and easy. Love was the opposite, it was the mouth of a dragon and the edge of a blade. It was the beginning to something so fragile and powerful, something that could end in flames. 

Peter realized he loved you on a summer afternoon. The sun was shining and you were in the shade. He sat down next to you, and within minutes Kurt and Ororo appeared at your side. They seemed so put together, so sure and strong. Peter felt out of place-- he felt as if he were standing outside of a cabin looking in through the window at your wonderful friendships. He watched with his nose pressed against the glass as you walked across the room and opened the cabin door to let him in. 

Peter realized he was in love with you in the middle of the night. A thunderstorm raged outside the mansion walls and raindrops kept time as Peter walked down the hallway. You were sitting on the floor of the common room next to a dying fire, a book clenched tightly in your hands. For a moment, he just stood against a wall and watched you. As creepy as he felt, a part of him believed he’d ruin your night by making himself known. He was okay with being a fly on the wall if it meant he’d get to see you. Peter wondered if there was a world where he had the pleasure of knowing you, without you having the burden of knowing him. 

Still, you saw him. And you knew him. And you waved him over with a smile. He felt the urge to run, to leave you here alone with yourself, but he stayed put. Then, one step at a time, he moved forward. He got closer and closer before he found himself standing at your feet. 

“You’re welcome to stay,” you told him. He believed it. Peter sat down next to you, letting his shoulder brush against yours.

“What’re you reading?” He asked. Peter already knew what you were reading, he read the cover of the book the moment he sat down, but he still wanted to hear it from you.

“Crush by Richard Siken,”

“Oh. What’s it about?” Peter already knew what it was about. He’d read it at least fifty times.

“It’s kind of hard to explain. I’d much rather just read it to you and let you decide for yourself,” Peter’s stupid little heart lurched, and he almost cried at the thought. He held it together, though. 

“That would be nice,” He said softly. 

“Sorry about all the writing in the margins, I can’t help myself sometimes.” Peter scanned the sides of the pages, marveling at your notes. Some of them were reactions, littered with exclamation points and question marks and bold letters. Some of them were underlined phrases and little doodles-- most notably a little drawing of a chameleon on a tiger lily. He loved them.

“It’s okay. Literature is meant to be marked up-- what’s the point of reading if you don’t get to share the love?”

“That’s a good point,” You grinned. Then, the reading began, and you allowed Peter to rest his head on your shoulder as you read to him. Even though he’d heard the poems a billion times by now, they sounded brand new coming from you. He listened closely. You were arriving at his favorite part, “You are Jeff” section 24. 

“You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you...” You read on, not noticing the way Peter’s eyes had shifted from the book you were holding to your face. Peter’s mind wanders, and he curses himself for missing the lines you were reading “... You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.” 

Peter felt like he was going to cry. You kept reading and he kept looking. It was getting late, and Peter was getting tired. Your voice had softened and slowed, and the fire that was burning in the fireplace had all but died. Peter was the one that fell asleep first, and you followed closely after. Both of you had lingering smiles on your faces. 

2. 

Intimacy is an odd thing, isn’t it? Thinking critically, intimacy is just vulnerability with more layers. It’s the closeness between people, it’s allowing yourself to connect with someone you care about. It’s stripping yourself down to muscle and bone and hoping the other person doesn’t let you bleed out. It’s a level of trust that is more than closing your eyes and falling backwards; it’s closing your eyes and letting them push you over the edge into the unknown, and trusting them enough to know you’ll be okay when you hit the ground.

It didn’t take long for Peter to realize that he had trouble with being intimate with other people. Too many times had trusted someone to push him over the edge, only to realize he’d be shattered when he hits the ground. After that, he decided intimacy was overrated. It’s not like anyone was going to have that kind of relationship with him, anyway. 

Of course, then you came along and uprooted his entire worldview, like you had with everything else. He found himself thinking about you at every waking moment, which inevitably led to him… thinking about you at every waking moment, if you catch my drift. Sure, intimacy involves more than just physical intimacy, but Peter knows he can’t ignore the feeling that rises in his stomach whenever he’s around you. For the first year or so of your relationship, Peter became very familiar with the feeling of an ice-cold shower. 

What Peter didn’t take into consideration was you. For some reason, Peter struggled to understand the fact that you were just as attracted to him as he was attracted to you. It was no secret that Peter was insecure, but he never really realized how much his insecurity affected his relationships. If he couldn’t love himself, how could anyone else? Peter is the only one who gets to see his persona in its truest form, and every time he has to avert his eyes. It’s safe to say his physical appearance has been the cause of very many painful-- and occasionally tear-filled-- sleepless nights. 

He told you this. He told you everything. He told you about Erik, he told you about his childhood, he told you about everything he loved and hated and feared and yearned for. That ordeal alone was scary enough, knowing that at any moment you could decide you didn’t want to deal with him anymore, but as always, you stuck around. You told him everything. You told him about your family and your struggles. You told him about everything you loved and hated and feared and yearned for, and not once did Peter even think that he wanted to walk away. This is the kind of intimacy that, over the years, Peter had struggled with less and less.

Still, it was the sexual aspect of intimacy that freaked him out. It was a beast he’d never dealt with, a feat he’d never faced. That being said, as every day went by Peter became more and more… frustrated. He didn’t know how to approach the subject, so he'd just let the subject approach him and wing it. 

And as he sat on his bed watching as you twirled around to Tears for Fears “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”, Peter realized he didn’t have much to worry about. 

“Dance with me, dollface,” you laughed, reaching out for him. You looked like someone straight out of a movie, the lim blue light coming from Peter’s arcade machines illuminating a halo above your head. You put Molly Ringwald and Emilio Estevez to shame. Peter took your hand, grinning like an idiot as you twirled him around. 

There he was, dancing in his mother’s basement with his favorite person in the entire world. He wasn’t a great dancer, and neither were you, but that didn’t matter. Peter was dreading this visit-- he hated the idea of being back in the basement that made him feel like a failure. But you assured him that you’d be there with him, and that getting to see his family would make it all worth it. His family isn’t what made it worth it, though. 

“Brain Damage” by Pink Floyd came next, slower and a bit more somber, but still danceable. Your arms shifted to around his neck, pulling him closer than he already was. Somehow, you ended up with your back against the wall as the song came to a close. He kissed your forehead, then your cheek, then your lips.

“I love you,” Peter spoke softly. This was a small victory-- he’d been so scared of the mere idea of loving someone. You were the only one who got to hear his love confessions. They were for you, and for you only.

“I love you too,” Peter would never, ever get tired of hearing that. Knowing that you love him is enough to keep him going for a hundred years. And he knows the odds, he knows that love is rocky and painful as much as it is beautiful. He knows that love can feel sweet in the beginning and go sour overtime. He knows that first, second, third relationships don’t always work out. But he thinks this is going to work out. And Peter doesn’t think this will ever go sour. Maybe that’s his blissful ignorance talking, maybe he’s jinxing it, but at this moment, he doesn’t care. Right now he is at his happiest, at his most content. 

“You wanna watch a movie?” You asked softly, pecking Peter on the cheek. He could feel the warmth radiating off of you, and Peter grinned. In an instant the tv across the room began playing the opening credits to the first movie that popped into his head. 

“The Breakfast Club?” You questioned. Peter shrugged.

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for a good coming-of-age kind of movie,”

You sat against the headboard of Peter’s bed, allowing Peter to settle beside you. Your head rested on his shoulder, and he was quick to grab your hand. Peter loved the closeness. Over the past year, he’d come to realize he was a very affectionate person. Previously, Peter hadn’t known soft, physical love; the only time anyone would ever touch him would be as punishment or defense, not love. Love. Peter had gotten more comfortable with the idea of love, because when he thinks of love he thinks of you.

3. 

Every good story has a villain. A villain that you love to hate, or hate to love. A villain you can sympathize with, a villain you can’t excuse, a villain that the mere mention of makes you sick to your stomach. An unexpected villain. An obvious villain. A villain that’s just trying his goddamn best. Sometimes the villain is defeated, sometimes the villain changes their evil ways. Sometimes the villain dies and the crowd cheers. 

Peter Maximoff never thought he’d be the villain of his own story. He tried his hardest to be a good person, but there was always that side of him that made him afraid. He was like an explosive; whenever someone got too close, he’d detonate and destroy everything around him. It was a self-defense tactic, albeit counterproductive. 

It killed you to see him that way. He told you about the relationships he’d lost to himself. He told you about the abandonment and the loneliness. It broke your heart. He tried to distract himself, drowning himself in work so he’d never have the opportunity to ruin what he had with you. Peter Maximoff was a walnut tree; every time he planted his roots and began to grow, he’d kill anything that grew too close. However, the constant working started to wear Peter down.

It started with the late nights. He’d collapse next to you at four AM, knocking out the minute his head hit the pillow. Still, he’d be awake before you were, already scrambling around trying to complete various tasks. He was like a machine that was running from it’s problems. The late nights turned to all-nighters, and the few hours Peter managed to salvage set aside for sleep had shrunk to a few minutes at a time. He didn’t eat anything with even a hint of nutritional value. At this rate, he was going to work himself to death. 

The worst part? Peter knew what he was doing. He wasn’t stupid. He just needed to shut up the little voice in his head that urged him to act out. The entirety of his childhood, Peter destroyed what he created. The need to be isolated, the feeling that he deserves to be alone spread throughout his body like a cancer. He locked himself away in the basement, trying desperately to stay out of everyone’s way so they wouldn’t shut him out. People tried to coerce him out of his cave, to pull him out of the bottomless pit he threw himself into. Peter saw them as the sirens trying to lure him into the ocean of loneliness, and he wasn’t going to fall for it. In his eyes, anyone who tried to help him were the villains of his amazing, heroic tale. Fortunately for him, one by one, they started to give up on helping him. They thought he was a lost cause; a fucking loser who was destined to wallow in his own self-pity until he died. At first, this was a triumph. He defeated them, he outwitted the sphinx and slayed the dragon. But a part of him hated himself for becoming the worst-case scenario that every parent feared their child would grow up to be. 

He pulled himself out of his pit and back onto his feet, all by himself. It was hell on Earth, but he did it. That cancerous feeling of uselessness retracted back into itself, now residing in the place next to Peter’s heart. However, that horrifying fear of becoming a burden began to grow again, this time when Peter was in his mid-20s. He began to overcompensate, and that led him to where he was; always on the brink of collapse, running on nothing but coffee and twenty minutes of sleep. In return, Peter got to have friends. In his mind, that was fair. In your mind? Not even close.

You managed to catch him in his bedroom as he was in the midst of simultaneously scribbling in a notebook and reading an open novel. Peter Maximoff would always be the most beautiful person in the world in your eyes, but at that moment, he looked like hell. Your plan seemed foolproof, but then again, you weren’t sure what you were walking into. Lately, Peter didn’t seem like himself. Probably because of the lack of sleep. 

“Peter?” He looked up at you, eyes half-lidded. “I got you something.”

“You did?” A sleepy smile was all he could muster, but that was google enough for you.  

“I did. It’s to mark exactly three years since I first met you,” you sat down on his bed, placing the small wrapped book right next to you. Peter glanced at the calendar on the wall-- oh god, you were right. It’s been three years to the day and he forgot. He deserves the title of “World’s Worst Boyfriend”. Scott will probably be upset that he’s losing his title.

 “What’re you up to?”

“Finishing up some old work I’ve been putting off,” he punctuated his sentence with a yawn. “Some of my old work and some of Hank’s, too.” “Why are you doing Hank’s work?”

“He seemed stressed about something, thought I might help clear his head,” The sentiment is sweet, you’ll give him that.

“Alright, well, can we talk for a minute?” Alarm bells went off in Peter’s brain. There has never, in the history of the universe, been a good conversation that started with ‘can we talk for a minute?’ or any of it’s cruel variants. 

“Actually, I’m kind of busy right now, can this wait?” It was obvious that the answer to that was no, but still, he felt the need to ask. 

“Not really, no. It’s important.” Peter saw the next few seconds playing out in his head. The inevitable had come to fruition; you realized that you could do better, and now you were cutting him loose. He couldn’t blame you, not really, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to rip him to shreds. He realized that whatever you brought for him was most likely a parting gift. How sweet.

“Oh. Alright.” 

“Well, I’m going to give it to you straight,” you sighed. “I’m worried about you, Peter.”

Oh. He’s heard this speech before, he knows the spiel. He can vaguely recall a guidance counselor telling him the exact same thing before Peter decided to call him a slew of expletives. The tar pit in his chest began to grow.

“I’m fine.” This was a lie. The first lie in a long chain of lies that Peter was about to tell to you, his favorite person in the world. He loved you, but in that moment his vision clouded over. You weren’t the person he loved and cherished anymore, no, you were just another faceless blur that provided a temporary escape. 

“Really? I feel like you’re pushing everyone away, you’re pushing me away.” Peter was becoming more and more irritated by the second.

“I told you, I’m fine. I’m not pushing you away. 

“Don’t lie to me,” your voice is firm and unwavering. “You don’t sleep, you almost never eat-- I don’t think I’ve seen you stand still for more than three minutes once in the past month--”

“That’s just how I am,” Peter huffs. He wanted this conversation to be over. “That’s not your problem.”

“Your wellbeing is my problem, Peter, that’s the whole point of being friends with someone. Even more so now, because you’re my partner and I care about you--” 

“Then stop,” Peter rolled his eyes. He's more irritable than normal-- most likely because he hasn’t slept in days. He could almost feel the venomous arms of isolation creeping around him. It’s a sick pattern, he knows; every time someone gets close to him, he feels the need to self-destruct before they lose interest. Even now, even after all this time, Peter’s still powerless against the poison in his veins. 

“What?” You’re losing your reserve and your stature. He can tell. You’re slouching and picking at the cuticles on your thumb. It’s almost as if he’s been shoved into the back seat, and is now being forced to watch as a stranger takes the wheel and crashes the car. So much frustration, so much hurt, and it’s all coming out right now, onto you. Peter already regrets this entire interaction, but still, he manages to spit acid. 

“Stop caring. Just leave, I know you want to. I know every night, you lie awake and think about all the different ways you can leave me in the dust. Not that it would matter to me.” This is another lie. Your eyes flash with hurt, but you stay put. You know he’s just being an asshole because he’s exhausted and too stubborn to admit that you’re right. He’s egging you on intentionally, trying to get you to snap and walk away. 

 “Peter, god, I love you but sometimes you can be so...”

“So what? C’mon, be honest with me,” He huffed. 

“Frustrating,” You surrendered. The poise you once held was gone. “I know it isn’t your fault-- I know you’ve trusted so many people so deeply and been betrayed or sold out and I know you’ve loved so many times and been thrown to the curb without a second thought. But I don’t know what I can do to convince you that I’m here for you, and that I love you. I’ve tried everything, and it feels like I’m talking to a brick wall. I want to make this work, but I need you to work with me.” It’s evident in your voice that you’re desperate. You’re just hoping you’ll get through to him, somehow. “I need you to want it as bad as I do-- hell, I need you to want it at all.” Here it comes--

“You ever think, maybe, I just don’t want you to be that person for me? I’ve spent my life being independent, my entire existence so far has been built around the fact that I’m going to end up alone. People come and people go-- people like you and Charles-- and they tell me they care. They tell me that they love me and that they're here for me. And then they get tired of me and they leave. I wish that you would just leave me the fuck alone and let me live in solitude,” There it was. The lie to end all lies. The words tasted awful coming out of his mouth, and the whole ordeal left his mouth tasting very… sour. Peter had to look away, he couldn’t look at the expression on your face.

“Fine. If that’s what you want.” Your eyes never met his, but you paused before you exited the room. “I know you’re probably just… I don’t know, going through something, but you’re being an asshole. Don’t talk to me until you’ve sorted your shit out. Enjoy your solitude.” You left the room impossibly fast, your fists clenched so tightly Peter feared that your nails would break the skin on your palms. He struggled to keep it together-- why the fuck did he do that? 

Peter collapsed onto his bed, and it’s only then that he realized you left behind the gift you got him. A part of him thought he should return it to you, but the other part of him urged for it to be opened. He tore the wrapping paper off before he realized what he was doing. The hardcover book the wrapping paper concealed was handbound, the cover littered with your beautifully familiar handwriting. In big, bold letters The Best of Poetry in the Humble Opinion of Y/n L/n was scrawled at the top. 

Peter vividly remembers a late night you spent talking to him. You told him about your favorite poems, outlining each and every little detail you loved about them. Some of them he’d read already, some of them he hadn’t, but all of them sounded like artwork coming from you. He opened the front cover, and you’d written something else on the inside. 

“In the words of the wonderful Peter Maximoff, ‘What’s the point of reading if you don’t get to share the love?’. This is me, sharing the love.” 

Carefully, Peter opened to a random page in the book. He saw the notes in the margins and the doodles and the exclamation points and before he knew it Peter was on the verge of tears. He was barely containing himself, and then he read a specific annotation you made. 

He had opened to the first page of “The Worm King’s Lullaby”, one of your all-time favorites. A specific line was underlined, one that Peter was all too familiar with: “Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.” Beside it, you wrote:

“As much of a genius Mr. Siken is, I have to disagree with this. If you love someone enough, you’ll never leave them and they’ll never leave you. Even if they die, even if things don’t work out, you’ll always have a little part of them to carry with you. Carry this part of me with you, Peter. Not that I plan on leaving anytime soon.” 

That was it. The floodgates broke. Everything that Peter had held back came pouring out-- the past 10 minutes finally caught up with him, and they hit him like a bus. He sat in the corner of his bedroom, his knees pulled up to his chest so tightly he thought his legs would snap. Peter wanted to rip all his hair out or punch a hole in the wall or hold his head underwater until he was nothing but an obituary and a headstone. His chest burned and the pit of despair inside his chest had overtaken his system, and he hated himself with a burning passion. Why did he do that? Why did he do that? Why the fuck did he do that?

Peter Maximoff had his breakdown in solitude, revealing in the fact that he was, undeniably, the villain of his own life.

4.

As it turns out, ‘getting his shit together’ is much harder than Peter originally anticipated. He's trying, he really is, but it's hard. Especially without you there. Peter knows that he fucked up, and he knows that he needs to work for your forgiveness. And don’t worry, he’s going to work for it. 

It had only been a week, but the entire mansion could tell that something was off. Life just wasn’t the same without the randomized gusts of wind that would knock people off their feet; no one had been seriously injured or had something stolen from them. The whirlwind that was mansion life, while still chaotic, lost it’s fun. 

Charles tried to keep things running smoothly, but he was an old man and didn’t exactly understand you and Peter. People would knock on your door every now and then, but you didn’t answer. You were much too busy analyzing exactly how much of a bitch you were being-- realistically, the answer is 0%, but you didn’t see it that way. No, from your perspective, you saw Peter having a mental breakdown and you ditched him. Pretty shitty move.

What you didn’t realize was that Peter was doing the exact same thing, however, the blame falls mostly on his shoulders, and boy does he know it. He’s been scripting his grand apology, trying desperately to find the right words to express exactly how sorry he is. Peter was never very good with words-- it’s always too hard to know if you’re going to say the wrong thing and mess everything up. Although, it’s hard to see how the scenario could get any worse.

He made the executive decision to start with “I’m sorry”-- a solid start to any apology. Sure, he could stop there, but Peter realized that he’d probably need more to win back his partner. So, he managed to scribble down a few more lines on a tiny notecard he was supposed to use for studying. Oh, what a wondrous redemption arc this would be; Peter gets into a fight with his wonderful partner and ruins their relationship and then struggles to come up with a coherent apology. 

“I’m sorry about what I said, that was shitty. I shouldn’t have said that.” Peter’s eyebrows furrowed in frustration. God, he was going to die alone, wasn’t he? Maybe this is the cruel punishment the world is dealing to him, the universe is deciding that Peter’s redemption arc would be better if it, well, didn’t exist. Even so, he isn’t planning on giving up or giving in just yet. 

He scrapped what he had so far and started at the beginning once again. His 9th grade english teacher would tell him to write about what he knows, and though he doesn’t know much, he’s an expert when it comes to himself. Peter knows how he feels about you, he knows how sorry he is, and he knows that he really, really, really wants you to know that he didn’t mean a word he said about not wanting you. Peter knows about love, at least a little bit, and he realizes he’ll need more than just words.  

His mind drifts to that night, years ago, in front of the fireplace. He vividly remembers a tiger lily and a chameleon scribbled in the margins of your book. Realistically, Peter couldn’t get his hands on a chameleon, but a tiger lily was a different story. In high school, Peter took a botany course because he thought it’d be easy. It wasn’t, it was boring as all hell, but it seems like his slacking paid off. He knew tiger lilies were indigenous to Asia, but they’d become quite common along New England-area roadways. 

Peter grabbed his jacket and took off, tearing through the roads like his life depended on it. In less than 10 minutes, Peter found himself in the middle of New Hampshire drenched in rain. In hindsight, he probably should’ve checked the weather before leaving. Nevertheless, he takes off into the small wooded area that laid passed the road’s end. Dozens of mushrooms dotted the muddy ground and mossy rocks clouded his peripheral vision. The rain begins to lighten as he spots a bright orange tiger lily peeking through the remains of a tree stump. He sprints over to it.

The tiger lily is bloomed and beautiful and Peter can’t tear his eyes away from the wide array of speckles and splotches and color. It’s pristine, but some of the petals are torn or wilting. The roots stretch into the stump below it, and Peter leans closer. The stump is old and worn, fungi and bugs eat away at the base next to a large hole where a family of worms reside. The stump is ugly, sure, but it’s useful. It helps keep the bugs fed and keeps the worms warm. There’s a metaphor here somewhere, but Peter is too distracted to find it. 

He gently picks the flower and spins on his heel, taking off once again. The rain makes it harder to run, but it’ll take a lot more than water to stop Peter. By the time Peter gets back to Xavier’s the flower is a little crushed, but it’s still somewhat pristine. 

He has the flower, he has the apology, and now all he needs is courage. Thankfully, that courage comes quickly as he instinctively knocks on your bedroom door. He probably should’ve stopped to collect himself, but he was riding a wave of adrenaline that wouldn’t come back. 

“Go away, Jean,” You called from inside. You sounded tired, and it made Peter sad. 

“It’s-- uh-- it’s not Jean,” Peter can hear your hesitant footsteps approaching the door, and suddenly the courage he managed to build up drained. His hands are shaking by the time you open the door. You look up at him, and Peter looks back at you, and suddenly everything is much harder to do. He looks down at his feet. 

“Hi.” Your voice is hoarse, but clear. 

“Hi.” Peter’s voice is uneven and quiet. You stand there in silence for a minute before Peter pipes up again.

“So, uh, you’re probably still mad at me and I get that, but I just want you to hear me out. I-If that’s okay,” You nod slowly, and Peter takes a deep breath. He thinks about the written apology that sat in his coat pocket, and he makes the last-minute decision to forget about it. He’ll speak from the heart, or, whatever people in rom-coms do. 

“I’m sorry. It was really shitty of me to get angry at you because you were worried about me-- although, I guess shitty is an understatement. Everything that I said about, yknow, not wanting you or Charles or anyone else around anymore wasn’t true. I need you guys, and I love you guys and it was unfair of me to push you away. Solitude really sucks. I guess I’m just not very good at navigating relationships,” He exhales, and his chest shudders. “I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore, I just thought I should make it clear how I feel.” It’s only then that he remembers about the tiger lily in his hand. “Oh, and this is for you.”

“A tiger lily?” you smiled softly. “These are my favorite-- how did you know?”

“I’m just observant, I guess. You usually draw them when you’re bored, I figured you’d like to see one in person,” You gently took the tiger lily in your hand. The silence that hung in the air was deafening, and Peter realized that was probably a bad sign. His chest drops just a bit, and he takes a small step backwards.

“I guess I should probably leave you alone--” Peter can’t get very far, because you immediately jump forward and wrap your arms around him. Eyes wide and heart pounding, you can feel Peter’s arms lock around your waist. 

“Thank you,” You whispered. “Please don’t go.” Peter was smiling so hard his cheeks ached, and a horrible weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The close-contact was refreshing; he didn’t realize how much he missed it until that moment. He was pretty sure he would never, ever let you go. Not again.

5.

To Peter Maximoff, physical affection has always been a touchy subject-- that is, until you came along. You proved to him that he deserved physical affection, that his mutation and his personality and weirdo quirks didn’t make him lesser or unlovable. Peter Maximoff deserved love, and you were the one who never failed to love him. 

You sat on a wooden chair in front of the fireplace, reading to the group of children sitting at your feet. The emotional lines of “Snow and Dirty Rain” fell from your lips, and with every turning syllable the small group would listen just a little bit closer. Peter did, too, desperately trying to hear every single word you said. Class was almost over, and once the students were dismissed you’d probably stop reading.

“I made this place for you. A place for you to love me. If this isn't a kingdom then I don't know what is,” Your eyes tore away from the page to look at the kids at your feet. They fell upon Peter, and a smile erupted on your face. 

Peter vaguely recalls the twisted idea of love that he held as a teenager. He thought love was a dragon to be defeated, a battle that could be won or lost. It’s clear now that love is the opposite-- it isn’t a fight or a battle or a thing to be conquered. It’s more like a flower; it needs to be cherished and cared for in order to grow. Sometimes the flower wilts and dies, and that’s natural, but sometimes the flower lasts for a lifetime. 

Love wasn’t a dragon or a knight, it didn’t have a hero or a villain; it was much more like a tiger lily and a tree stump.

[wrathandgreed]

Side Guys with an Asexual MC

So I’m a sex-repulsed ace and I know (and appreciate :) ) how thirsty this fandom is, but I really wanted to write some soft fluffy HCs about the Others because I love them so much and I like the idea that they’d accept me or someone like me :) (I’ve also never written for the Side Guys before, so cut me some slack :)

GN!MC. MC is ace and sex-repulsed.

Diavolo

Wait, you mean he DOESN’T have to give a “royal performance” every night after dealing with running an entire realm?

He’ll be disappointed if you’re fully touch-repulsed, but he won’t let it stop him from showing his affection in any way you’ll let him.

Gifts, flowers, beautiful dresses for every ball (as modest or daring as you’re comfortable with).

And not just gifts - this man embodies all of the love languages.

Quality time? As often as he can. He’ll take you all over Devildom or treat you to excursions back up to the human world. Wanna see a movie? Go to a museum? Sit on the couch and put together a puzzle? Whatever, so long as he gets to spend time with you.

Words of affirmation? He won’t stop. If compliments on your physical appearance make you uncomfortable, he’s equally happy talking about your intelligence or creativity or singing voice. Whatever it is you love to do, he makes it easy for you to grow and improve. And he loves watching you do it.

Acts of Service? He’s a Demon Prince. Anything you want from him, you can have.

And if you’re into non-sexual physical intimacy, be prepared for every single moment of cuddles this man can wrench out of the day.

He just wants you to pet his hair as you walk past him while he’s doing paperwork. Give him a smooch when the two of you meet for dinner. Cuddle up on the couch while you watch a movie. Let him wrap himself around you while he sleeps.

Honestly, I doubt it would make much of a difference to him so long as he had some kind of intimacy.

Barbatos

Honestly, the most disappointed of the Sides.

He’s buttoned up and restricted and proper every minute of the day, and during the rare times he has a partner, sex is a release for him.

That’s not to say he’s unwilling to enter into a relationship. He’s been celibate for significant stretches of time before (it’s hard to find a partner - or even a fling - when you’re working 20 out of 24 hours and still need to sleep!) so he’ll just figure out how to be celibate while with someone.

While he can’t help but be attracted to you, he can help what he does about it and he makes sure never to make you uncomfortable.

Strangely, bathing together becomes his new favorite thing. Snuggling in the tub or giving each other a wash-up in the shower doesn’t satisfy EVERYTHING, but it definitely hits that “skin on skin contact” that he craves from the person he loves.

Also sleeping in the nude together, if you’re comfortable with that.

He spends every day covered up head-to-toe and even wearing gloves; he really needs skin contact and physical affection.

Knowing that he really can’t, physically, show you his affection, he starts carving time out of his day whenever he can to make room for you to fit in his life.

Might even talk to Diavolo about having a steady day or even just afternoon off every few weeks.

(Then has to turn down Diavolo’s offer for every other day off because, really, stuff needs to get done, man. You think this all happens by magic? I mean, it does, but someone still has to perform that magic. Constantly. And you’re trying to make him a part-timer.)

Simeon

Probably the most at-ease with the situation. Not that he doesn’t have a sex drive, or isn’t attracted to you, but the man is a literal angel. He has a million other ways to show his affection.

(And for the record, he doesn’t pull this “it’s more pure this way” crap. Because it’s crap.)

His biggest form of affection is his words - but mostly his written words.

Little poems or letter snippets start finding their way into your pockets and replacing your bookmarks.

They always take you by surprise, especially when you find on in an out of the way place (really, the man slipped a little scrap of paper with a haiku on it into your bottle of aspirin) but they always make you smile, too.

You start writing him responses.

You know when he’s found one of your poem/snippet responses because he’ll beam at you the moment he sees you.

(So what if your poems are things like “Roses are red, water is clear, Solomon’s annoying, and you are a dear.”)

Likes cuddles - if you’re ok with it, he is *always* touching you. Holding hands or scritching your head or letting you sleep on him.

He actually invests in a slanted lap-desk so he can write while you cuddle against him on the couch and watch TV or read.

Comfortable silence is the name of this relationship game.

Solomon

Man likes sex, not gonna lie.

But he’s got about a few thousand schemes, plans, and ideas whirling about his head on any given day.

He’s spent most of his life focusing on his brain and his magic. So you’re saying that’s still the focus? He can live with that.

Unlike the others, not much of a cuddler. (Except when he’s sleeping; then he’s wrapped tight around you like you’re going to disappear.)

The real connection in this relationship is of the mind.

Learn from him, work with him.

A perfect moment is two nerds having a three-hour long discussion on a potion adjustment, then testing it out.

Or taking a long walk to anywhere (but especially a magic supply store or bookstore)

Then there’s the other half of the relationship.

The pranking and trolling.

Coffee shop dates (where you use tiny wisps of magic to mess with people on first dates) and aquarium dates (until you get banned for trying to steal a jellyfish)

Anything and everything is free game in the House of Lamentation

And with the two of you working together? Pure, unadulterated chaos.

Somehow, he finds he doesn’t miss sex so much when the two of you are hiding in an empty RAD classroom, breathless from laughter and trying desperately to hold yourselves to a whisper so Lucifer can’t find you and (rightfully) blame you for exploding all of the magic circles in Hex class. Again.

He has a partner now.

It’s more than he ever expected.

[trulymadlysydney]

Somewhere In Time: Eleven

“...and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment...”

― Plato, The Symposium

tw: Death

Previous Chapters HERE

***Please Do Not Repost Without Permission***

April 25th, 2000, 12:06pm

It’s been a long, long few months for Roni.

Today is one of the first warm days New York has experienced in a while, and it’s one of the first times Roni has felt strong enough to actually leave her house without breaking down and sobbing.

Still, she’s aware she isn’t exactly at peak performance either.

Presently she finds herself at the supermarket, bare-faced and exhausted. She reaches up to rub at her eyes, which at this point burn permanently with how often she’s been crying over the past few months.  She’s sure she must look a mess as she walks through the building, searching numbly for the few items her grandmother had sent her for.

Her grandmother, sweet and more than mildly concerned for Roni’s well being, had thought it would be wise for Roni to get out of the house for a bit.  Over the past few months, Roni has gone on a few walks here and there, but each time she’d returned home looking more wilted and devastated than she had when she’d left.  It was disconcerting, to put it lightly, but of course the older woman had comforted Roni through every minute of it.

That being said, however, she’d wanted to push Roni to make the effort to get out of this funk (or at least up and over the hump that stood before her), and although it makes Roni feel strange and disgustingly vulnerable to be out here among other people like this, she can’t say she blames her grandmother for trying.

Besides, there’s something that’s been on her mind for ages now, and she thinks today is the perfect day for it.

She has to keep reminding herself to focus on the task at hand first and foremost-- although she can’t for the life of her remember if her grandmother needs 2 percent milk or skim--, because God knows she wants this grocery store trip to be over as soon as possible.

She runs a hand through her hair, realizing dismissively that it’s a bit greasy and overdue for a wash.  When was the last  time she took a shower?

Ultimately, Roni decides on skim milk (she figures her grandmother will forgive her if she’s wrong) and plops it unenthusiastically into the shopping basket that hangs heavy on her arm.  She scans the basket, mentally checking off everything she sees and searching her foggy brain to determine if she’s missed anything.

When she’s absolutely certain she’s gotten everything on her grandmother’s list, she takes in a deep breath, turning on her heel and walking--almost robotically-- to the next area of the store she needs to go to.

The little section of less-than-fresh flowers is located directly next to the produce section, right where it’s always been, and it’s a place that Roni has visited multiple times in her life since her mother’s passing.  The task of picking out the prettiest flowers is one that Roni has never taken lightly, of course, and this time is no exception.

Because this time, she isn’t going to visit the grave of her mother.  She’s going to find Harry’s.

There’s a pressure on her back mixed with a tinge of anxiety as she scans the colorful flowers in their colorful wrapping.  It would be doing Harry a disservice to pick some that are anything less than perfect, but then none of these seem suitable at all.

Roses? No, too dark. Violets? Ironic, but still no.

Roni is startled out of her thoughts when she hears someone behind her clear their throat.  Expecting to be asked to kindly move out of the way, she shifts quickly to the right,  preparing to offer whoever this person is an apologetic smile.

But then she hears her name.

When she turns she is met by none other than Oliver and his sweet, smiling face. Her heart sinks impossibly deeper into her stomach at the sight.

“Hey!” he greets, as pleasantly as he can manage.  “I thought that was you but I wasn’t sure!”

Oliver looks good, save perhaps for the dark circles under his eyes that mirror Roni’s own.  He seems far more well put together than Roni for sure, and she’s almost embarrassed by her own appearance. His dark hair hangs limp on his head, and the scent of his aftershave tells Roni that he’s probably just taken a shower before heading over here.  She wants to hug him, purely for selfish reasons, but she thinks maybe that isn’t the best idea right now given the circumstances.

He seems to feel the same way, because he holds his hands awkwardly at his side— as if wanting to go to her, but unsure of how to go about it.

So Roni simply smiles.  “Oliver,” she greets. “It’s so good to see you!”

And she does mean that. His face is an oddly comforting sight at a time like this.

“It’s good to see you, too, Ron! How have you been?” He asks this question quietly, as if he already knows the answer, but there isn’t a single trace of judgement on his face. That was something Roni had always loved about him, in fact.  He never judged.  He was always a much better person than she felt she could ever hope to be.

Still, it feels like a loaded question. One that she doesn’t quite feel prepared to answer in the slightest.  How does one explain to their ex boyfriend of several years that they’re doing absolutely terrible?

So she shrugs, offering him a half-hearted laugh.  “I mean, I’m here.”

Oliver laughs, a sympathetic smile on his face that tells her he feels the exact same way. A wordless sentiment is shared between the two in their smiles, and he nods when she giggles. “Same,” he says. “I’ve been better but… ya know.”

And god, Roni does know.

She gestures at him. “You look great.”

“Thank you! Been working out a lot. Changed my diet a bit. Just trying to be like, you know, healthier and stuff.”

Roni nods. “That’s amazing, Oliver.”

She really does mean it. He does look great, especially compared to the last time she’d seen him. Fresh out of their breakup, running on a maximum of three hours of sleep per night, wordlessly helping Roni pack up her things into boxes and moving them, along with her grandfather, back into her grandparents house.

The first few days of the new year had been awful, to say the least.  Roni had hardly spoken, hardly eaten, hardly done much at all except for cry; overwhelmed with sadness and a tinge of guilt— not only for leaving Harry, but for her sudden lack of feelings towards Oliver. And Oliver, the angel that he is, stood by her. Constantly worrying, making sure she was at least drinking enough water, and trying to coax her into telling him what was wrong.

The breakup had not gone at all the way Roni had expected. But then, when do breakups ever?

It was on the 6th day of January, when Roni found herself so completely buried in her grief that she couldn’t stop crying, even for five minutes, or bring herself to step foot out of her bed.  Oliver had tried everything, and was obviously growing impatient himself. When he threw his hands up and exasperatedly told Roni he was taking her to the hospital, that’s when she’d done it. She’d blurted out that she couldn’t be with him anymore.

The look on his face was enough to shatter what little bit of her heart remained intact in her chest.  He’d asked for clarification, then asked again, then again. When his tears started falling, that’s when the cycle of grief started for him. Denial, bargaining, anger.

Roni, of course, couldn’t tell him everything.  She couldn’t tell him about the time travel, and about Harry.  She couldn’t tell him anything, really.  All she could do was cry.

And cry she did.  She cried so hard she got sick, and poor Oliver, through his own tears, called Roni’s grandparents because he didn’t know what else to do. Even in the days that followed, where Roni stayed in the care of her grandparents, she couldn’t give him a straight  answer.  She wasn’t sure where she would even start, she only begged him to understand that this was the right answer for both of them.

And all the while, her heart had ached.  It had ached for her mother, and for Harry.  It flooded with overwhelming grief and guilt as Roni constantly wondered if she’d done the right thing leaving 1925.

It had taken a while, but it did get a bit easier after that.  Two weeks later, Roni and Oliver ended things-- officially-- both with clearer minds and hearts.  Oliver helped Roni’s grandfather move the rest of her things from her and Oliver’s shared apartment back into her grandparents’ home, and she and Oliver talked things through-- as best as they could.

The official reason Roni had given Oliver for their breakup was that she didn’t know who she was on her own and she needed to figure it out; which wasn’t a lie.  She had told him, in more or less words, that she was feeling misunderstood and needed to really find out who Veronica Elliot was.  After all, they’d been together for nearly ten years.  Ten years of her adult life in which she’d done so much growing up, but with him.  She needed to grow up on her own.

And Oliver had understood that as best he could.   It didn’t make the breakup hurt less by any means, but it made enough sense. All he wanted was for her to be happy, which she appreciated more than she could express.   So once she’d gotten settled in with her grandparents, she and Oliver hadn’t spoken again.

Until now.

Oliver nods his head in Roni’s general direction, bringing her from her thoughts.  “What’s the occasion?”  he asks.

“Hm?”

“You’re shopping for flowers,” Oliver explains with a laugh.  “For something good I hope!”

“Oh.”  It dawns on Roni that Oliver may actually be able to help her, or at least somewhat understand her current situation.  “Yeah.  Kind of.”  She shifts her weight to her other foot.  “Actually… Oliver, do you remember Mr. Styles?”

Oliver furrows his eyebrows.  “Who?”

“Mr. Styles.  You were assigned to spend time with him in high school.  Right before you graduated.”  None of this seems to ring a bell to Oliver, so Roni sighs.  “You knoooow,” she tries again.  “He gave you the advice?  About asking me out?  You brought me to meet him?”

Oliver’s confusion only seems to deepen.  He shakes his head.  “No, I don’t think--”

“He died like, shortly after I met him,” Roni says, growing a bit more impatient.  “You went to his funeral!”

“Roni,” Oliver says slowly,  “I think you’re confused.  I was assigned to Mrs. Brown. Mildred Brown. You met her, but there was no one named Mr. Styles.”  

Roni shakes her head. “No,” she says.  “No, that’s not true.”

“Yes it is,” Oliver insists, then chuckles.  “I would’ve remembered someone with a name that cool.”

“But Harry-- Mr. Styles… he--”

“I knew pretty much every resident in that place,” Oliver says.  “There was no one named Mr. Styles. At all.”

Roni lets out a breath, blinking as she tries to process exactly what Oliver is telling her. Of course there was a Mr. Styles. She remembers him vividly, both in his youth and in old age.  “No…” she says slowly.  “No, there definitely was.”

Oliver shakes his head.  “Roni, I’m not lying to you.  I knew everybody there.  There was nobody with that name.”  

Roni is only halfway listening to him as her thoughts run a million miles a minute.  “He… no, because...” She trails off, finally blinking confusedly up at Oliver.  “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”  Oliver watches her for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  After a beat, he speaks again.  “You okay?”

“Yeah it’s just… I could’ve sworn--”

“Is that who you were planning on getting the flowers for?”  Oliver’s confusion continues to show on his face. “Why?”

“I just--”  Roni isn’t even sure where to begin.  She sighs.  “I just thought… he really meant a lot to you.  I wasn’t at the funeral.”

“You’re thinking of Mrs. Brown,” Oliver insists.  “I loved that woman.  But I haven’t thought of her in years.  I’m shocked you even remember her.”

“Apparently I don’t,” Roni jokes half-heartedly. Oliver laughs.

“Where did you come up with that name anyway? It doesn’t even sound remotely familiar.”

Roni, still confused, shakes her head. “I don’t know. I must have heard it in passing or… something.”

“Yeah probably.” Oliver nods towards the flowers. “Anyways. If you’re wanting to get some flowers for Mrs. Brown, she loved lilies.”

Roni glances back towards the cheap bouquets. Lilies. Those might be good.

Her confusion only fogs up her brain more than it already is, and try as she might to hide it, it projects very easily onto her face.  Oliver eyes her, as if wanting to touch her but unsure of whether or not he should.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Ron?”

“Yeah,” Roni says quickly, realizing she must look strange. “No, yeah, I’m good. Sorry. Just… brain fart I guess.”

Oliver chuckles. “I know how that goes. Had a ton of those the past couple months.  Things have just been like, weird? I guess? That’s the only way I can describe it.”

“I know,” Roni agrees, a tinge of guilt striking her chest. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be!” Oliver says quickly. “Seriously. I didn’t say that to like, make you feel bad or anything.  I’m just saying.”

The air is thick with tension all of a sudden, and Roni clears her throat, trying desperately to will it away. Oliver laughs awkwardly.

“Well I don’t want to keep you or anything. I’ll let you get back to your shopping.  But it was really good to see you.”

The way he’s smiling at her makes Roni instantly relax, and any awkward vibes in the air fizzle away. She smiles. “It was good to see you, too. Seriously.”

There’s a brief moment of charged energy between the two, before Oliver decides to just bite the bullet and move.  He reaches forward before Roni can really even process it and he wraps her up in a hug.

It feels ridiculously comforting in a way that Roni would have never expected, and she surprises herself when she feels her eyes grow misty.  She hadn’t realized how badly she’d needed a hug  just in general, and she definitely hadn’t thought the most comforting one would come from Oliver himself.   She relaxes into him, wrapping her arms around his torso and giving him a gentle squeeze in return.

They stay like this for a while, and Roni realizes that Oliver probably needs this just as badly as she does.  She feels him take a deep breath in through his nose, burying it in her hairline and sighing quietly under his breath.  He’s missed her.  And Roni can’t lie and she hasn’t missed him, it’s just different.

She can’t go back to him.  She absolutely cannot.

“Please take care of yourself,” Oliver mumbles, before finally pulling out of the hug.

“Hm?”

“Take care of yourself, Ron.  Go easy on yourself.  Please.”

His words touch Roni’s heart, and she smiles.  “Oh.  You too.”

He smiles right back at her, and there’s a long moment where she feels like he might say something else.  Ultimately he decides against it, and he nods in finality.  “Right,” he says.  “See ya.”

He’s gone before Roni has even finished saying her goodbye, and she’s left feeling empty and somewhat melancholy.  How is it possible to feel so simultaneously relieved, as if some unexpected closure has occurred between the two, and yet so hollow, as if far too many words were left unspoken?

Roni’s stomach churns and she clears her throat, trying to re-center herself.  

Flowers.  Harry’s grave.  Right.

She knows what Oliver just said, and it confuses her to no end, but she isn’t going to give up that easily.  She’s certainly not just going to take his word for it; she has to see for herself.  She believes the finality of seeing Harry’s grave-- if there even is one-- will grant her the strength to push forward.  To know in her heart that what she had with him is long gone.  Otherwise, she fears she’ll never be able to shake the feeling that there is lingering unfinished business between them, and it will continue to haunt her until she knows for certain.

Even if Oliver insists Mr. Styles never existed.  She has to try.

So Roni sighs, reaching for a bouquet of white lilies that seem to be the least wilted out of all of their counterparts, before making her way to the checkout line.

———————-

The cemetery is somber, but it brings a peaceful sense of calm over Roni as she steps through the gates.  It’s colder and cloudier than it was this morning, and Roni finds herself wishing she’d brought a jacket.  She takes a deep breath, feeling overwhelmed as she scans the many headstones before her.  Finding Mr. Styles’ grave is going to be far more difficult than she’d anticipated.

She takes a step forward along the gravel road that winds through the expansive cemetery.  She hadn’t realized it was going to be such a large place, with headstones covering the hills everywhere she turns.  It’s only the slightest bit disheartening, but Roni is no quitter.  If she can’t find his headstone today, she’ll return tomorrow; and if necessary, every day after that until she finds it.

Oliver’s words echo in Roni’s mind as she walks, scanning each headstone for the name she wants so desperately to see.  Why didn’t he remember Harry?  Surely she hadn’t dreamt that entire day in which she met the elderly gentleman; she has vivid memories of Oliver calling her cousin’s house where she was staying the day of the funeral and telling her how upset he was. That was real.  The books on his nightstand were real.

Harry was real.

In the distance, someone sits on the balcony of their apartment and plays guitar.  It’s a melancholy song, and although Roni knows they’re just practicing and this has nothing to do with her, it feels strangely fitting.  Roni smiles to herself, enjoying the music, as she continues her way down the path.

It feels silly in a way, to be here without any knowledge of the location of Harry’s gravesite or if it’s even in this cemetery at all.  In hindsight, she feels, she could have done just a bit more research.  She could have called around, done some inquiring about Harry.  To be fair, though, she had called his old retirement home only to find that it was no longer a retirement home, but a preschool; a fact that she found quite odd.  The circle of life, so to speak.

As she scans the headstones, she reads each name quietly to herself. She figures it may be best to take the cemetery in sections; a section or two today, another tomorrow. It makes the task feel far less daunting and besides, she could use some more peaceful walks like this in her daily life.

She runs her fingertips along the rough top of a headstone, soberly realizing that there are caskets beneath her very feet at this exact moment.  Realizing that everyone ends up here in their lives, and that one day she too will end up here.  The thought of Harry being somewhere beneath this grass, however, makes her stomach churn.  She hates that she’s here, and she knows it’s too late, but she’s hoping it will give her some type of the closure that she’s aching for.

Roni sighs, muttering a gentle “where are you?” under her breath as she scans the headstones.

She continues along the dirt path, shyly chuckling to herself at some of the names (and immediately feeling guilty for it).  She switches the bouquet of flowers from her right hand to her left and wipes her sweaty palm along the thigh of her jeans.

As Roni continues her walk, she grows a bit colder than before. She wraps her free hand around her stomach, as if it’s going to help, and sniffles when the wind tickles her hair across her nose.  Today had started out so misleading with such beautiful weather, and now she’s shivering against the chilly wind.

It’s about thirty minutes later when Roni happens upon a headstone bearing a name that draws her attention.  The name isn’t exactly the one she’s been searching so desperately for, but it does interest her.  She goes to it. turning off the gravel path and walking along the moist grass.  As she approaches, she reads aloud from it.

“Mrs. Mildred Brown. Beloved wife and mother. Born October 12th, 1899.  Died June 6th, 1990.”  Roni sighs as she continues, reading the passage from the Bible written in script along the bottom.  “‘Well done thou good and faithful servant.’  Matthew 25:21.”  

She shakes her head.  “I don’t understand,” she mumbles, squatting down beside the headstone to get a better look.

It all checks out, as far as Oliver’s story goes.  She regrets not asking him for more information while she had the chance, however.  How did Mrs. Brown die?  What was it like the day Roni supposedly met her?  Had Mrs. Brown been interested in time travel?  Why is none of this making sense in Roni’s brain?

As Roni processes all of this, she suddenly gets the unmistakable feeling that she’s being watched.  It isn’t a threatening feeling by any means, but she can practically feel a pair of eyes on her out of nowhere, and it is somewhat unsettling.

Of course, her logical brain thinks, she is at a cemetery. There are other people here, no doubt, visiting loved ones.  She tries to brush off the feeling, running her thumb over the carved indentations spelling out  Mrs. Brown’s name.

Roni notices a rock atop the headstone, indicating that someone has been here to visit Mrs Brown’s grave recently. She feels it would be disrespectful to touch the stone, so she refrains.  Instead, she just looks at it, wondering who could’ve left it-- someone in Mrs. Brown’s family?-- and why she can’t, for the life of her, remember this woman.

She can’t shake the feeling that she’s being watched, however, and she glances over her shoulder subtly to see if she can see anyone.  She waits a moment, and just as she turns back to observe the headstone once more, she swears she hears her own name.

“Roni.”

The voice is feminine and foreign yet so familiar all at once, and Roni isn’t even sure she’s

actually heard it when she stands up.  She turns to her right slowly on her heel, expecting to see someone and feeling slightly disturbed when she doesn’t.  She licks her lips, feeling her heart rate increase.

“Who--”

She hears it again, closer now and coming from the other direction, and she turns to her left.  Instantly, she is relieved when she realizes who the voice belongs to.

There, standing against a tree with that beautiful, all-knowing smile, stands Violet.  Dressed as if she’s just walked straight out of the 1920s.  

Perhaps she has.

A million thoughts run through Roni’s head; how did Violet get here?  How did Violet know she’d be here?  Violet nods, as if reading Roni’s mind.  

“Hello, dear.”

Realizing she hasn’t said a word, Roni laughs lightly.  “Violet!”  She walks over to the mysterious girl, smiling wide.  “God, it’s so good to see you.”

As she approaches, she wonders if it would be polite to give Violet a hug. Are they at that level of friendship? Do they know each other that well? Is it weird?

Violet doesn’t allow any more time for Roni to overthink, instead taking charge and pulling her into her arms for a warm embrace.

It’s so ridiculously comforting,  and Roni hadn’t even realized just how badly she needed this.  When Violet pulls away, she continues to hold Roni at arm’s length, scanning her face.  “How have you been?”

“Well…”  Roni trails off, then shrugs.  “I mean.  Not great.”  She laughs.  “And you?”

“I’ve been well,” Violet replies, voice calming and warm.  “My, but it’s good to see you.”

“It’s so good to see you too, Violet.  What are you doing here?”

Violet smiles, something subconsciously shifting in her tone, though not in a bad way.  “I had a feeling I would find you here,” she explains.

“But how?”  Roni asks.  “Why today?  Why right now?”  She leans in.  “Why me?”

Violet doesn’t directly answer Roni’s question.  “I’ve come to bring you something,” she says, reaching into a satchel that rests on her hip.   “Something that might be of great value to you.”

Roni doesn’t want to get her hopes up that this gift has anything to do with Harry, but it’s too late.  “Something of great value?”

“Sentimental, if anything.”

Roni can’t help but to deflate.  “Oh.”

Violet finds whatever it is that she was looking for and retrieves it from the satchel.  It seems to be a folded piece of paper, and she holds it out for Roni to take. Roni hesitates, eyeing the paper cautiously, before taking it from Violet’s hands.

“Read it,” Violet prompts.  “It might make you smile.”

Slowly, carefully, Roni unfolds the paper.  Her heart starts pounding as her mind runs through all the possibilities of what this could be.  Before the note is even fully opened, she stops when she recognizes her own handwriting.

“I know what this is,” she says, looking up at Violet slowly.

“You do,” Violet says, nodding. “Read it.”

Roni swallows down the lump in her throat, casting her eyes back to the paper and reading silently to herself.

Harry-

If you’re reading this, it means that I left.  I am safely back where I came from, proving you wrong-- just like I knew I would.  However, it seemed rude to leave without a proper goodbye.  So here it is.  I know I only stayed one night with you, but you’ve been really great. I hope your new year is “swell” or whatever it is you’d say, and that all your hopes and dreams come true. Thanks for letting me stay with you. Sorry about the black eye. Take care.

-Roni

Roni looks back up at Violet, swallowing down the lump in her throat.  “I wrote this the day after I got there,” she says, as if Violet didn’t know.

Violet nods again.  “You did.”

Roni shakes her head, feeling tears prickle at her eyes.  “I don’t understand,” she admits, shrugging in submission, as if Violet is about to play some trick on her.

“Harry’s kept it,” Violet explains, and the way she speaks of Harry in the present tense makes Roni’s heart pound.

“He’s…?”

“Kept it,” Violet repeats.  “Yes.  He found it under his bed a few days after you left.”

“Is he…” Roni doesn’t want to get her hopes up, so she hesitates to ask. “I mean, are you... have you—“

“I have seen him since you left,” Violet answers, smiling knowingly. “Yes.”

Roni swallows the lump rising her throat as the wind whips her hair lightly against her cheeks. “Is he alright?” The question comes out in a whisper.

“He is alright.” Violet nods. “He misses you.”

For some reason, Violet’s words completely overwhelm Roni. She can’t stop her eyes from welling over with tears immediately , and she lets out a little choking laugh. “God,” she says, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. “Does he?”

“Yes, darling.”

“I miss him so much,” Roni says, only half-heartedly attempting to stop her crying. “Can you tell him that?”

“I can.”

Roni laughs again through her tears and steps closer to Violet. “God, I’m sorry. I probably look like a mess. I just can’t believe you’re here, and I…” She trails off, looking down at the paper in her trembling hands. “It’s real,” she says, almost as if reassuring herself. “He was real. This is real.”

“It is real,” Violet says. “You didn’t imagine him.”

“I’ve felt so…”  Roni gestures vaguely as she searches for her words.  “So stupid, I guess.  I don’t know.  I haven’t been able to tell anyone the truth.  I’ve started doubting myself. I-- I mean it all just seems so crazy, doesn’t it?”

“It doesn’t.”  Violet shakes her head.  “Not to me.  Though I can understand the hesitation to share your experience with others.”

“And I broke up with Oliver, you know,” Roni continues.  “Oliver, my boyfriend. We were together for so long and I… I didn’t love him.  I mean I did, but not the way I love Harry. Or… loved Harry.  I guess. But I--” she laughs.  “God, I’ve never felt more alone in my life than I have in the past like, four months, and I-- I can’t even begin to tell you how good it is to see you.  To see… this.”  She gestures at the letter, then speaks again; quieter this time, as if to herself.  “Fuck, I miss him.”  

“Your feelings are completely understandable, Veronica.  And justified.  You have been through so much.  It’s only natural to feel confused.  And the connection you have with Harry transcends time itself.  But these are odd circumstances, and certainly not a situation that anyone should be expected to know how to navigate.  You are not stupid for feeling this way.”  

“No,” Roni laughs, almost bitterly.  “No, I am.  I know I am.  It’s just… god, you’re helping me so much just by being here but I--” she sniffs, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her shirt, “I don’t know.  I know I need to move on.  I know I can’t go back to him but I want to.  More than anything else in the world.”

“What would you tell him if you could?”  Violet asks, cocking her head to the side.  

“Oh god,” Roni says, dabbing at her teary eyes.  “I would say…” she trails off, really considering  what it is exactly that she would say to Harry if given the chance.  She sighs shakily.  “I would tell him he’s the love of my life.  I would tell him he is the greatest thing that has ever and will ever happen to me in this lifetime.  In any lifetime. That I regret leaving him more than anything I’ve ever done. That I miss him.  That I love him.”

Roni doesn’t notice the way Violet’s eyes flicker behind her, because she’s still going.  “And it’s silly,” she continues, “but I have never stopped hoping he’ll come.  I cant…” she sniffs again,  “Can’t bring myself to stop. Even though I know he isn’t coming, I’ve never stopped looking for him.  I don’t know if I ever will, you know?”  

Violet smiles like she knows something that Roni doesn’t, but before Roni can even question it, a voice comes from behind her.

“Well,” it says, slow and deep. “The funny thing about that is, he’s never stopped looking for you either.”

It takes Roni a full ten seconds to even process what she’s hearing, and Violet’s all knowing smile only deepens.  Roni whirls around on her heels slowly, her feet still feel frozen into the muddy, damp ground.

And there’s Harry, as young and as handsome as ever, if not a little bit older than the last time she’s seen him.

He smiles, tears welling in his own eyes as he takes a step towards her. “In every timeline,” he says, and takes another step, “in every lifetime. He’s never stopped looking.”  He stands only a few mere feet away now, and Roni notes the single tear rolling down his cheek, contrasting his unwavering smile.

“I’ve kept my promise, bunny.”

In a whirlwind, Roni is rushing to him. She trips and stumbles a bit on the mud, falling directly into his arms. She doesn’t even bother standing upright, melting instead into his embrace and wrapping her own arms around him. He does his best to straighten her on her own feet, his arms wrapping tightly around her back, but he loses his own footing and falls ungracefully onto his back.

Neither seem to care about their tumble, and Roni crawls up his body— kissing every possible inch of visible skin she can get her lips onto.  Her tears blend into Harry’s own, and he laughs joyfully against her lips as he wraps a supportive arm around her back.

“My god,” Roni sobs into his neck. “My god, my god, what are you doing here?”

“I told you,” Harry says, not even worried about the way his voice cracks. “I never stopped looking. And I found you.”

Roni giggles a wet, teary giggle, squishing his face in her hands and fastening their lips together in a clumsy kiss. He willingly kisses her back, stabilizing her with his hands and squeezing her as if he can’t hold her tight enough.

“Harry,” she sobs, “I missed you so much.”

“Me too, sweetheart.” He kisses her teary cheek. “So fucking much.”

Roni presses a few more haphazard kisses to his lips, as if terrified that she’ll lose him the second she stops. She pulls away after a moment, scanning his face through her own blurry eyes.

“I don’t understand,” she says, “how did you get here?”

Harry beams. “Some people have the gift. Some do not.”

“And you have it?!” Roni asks. “You had it this whole time?!”

Harry laughs at the urgency in Roni’s voice, reaching up to wipe the tears out of his eyes. “I don’t know. I guess so. Violet helped me.”

“Violet!” Roni says, suddenly remembering the witchy girl’s presence. She turns to where Violet had just been standing minutes before, and is surprised to see that she is no longer there.  Harry and Roni both scan the graveyard, but Violet is in fact nowhere to be found.  Roni furrows her brows. “Where did she go?”

Harry doesn’t reply, instead he tilts Roni’s face towards him for another smiley kiss. Roni needs absolutely no persuasion, melting right into him and sighing contentedly.

“I’m so happy,” she cries against his mouth. “So fucking happy.”

“Yeah?” Harry pulls away, tears still streaming freely down his smiling cheeks. “Me too.”

“This feels like a dream,” Roni giggles. “Genuinely. And if it is, I hope I never wake up.”

Harry giggles. “It’s not a dream, sweet girl. I’m here. And I’m staying.”

Roni scans his face for any sign of sarcasm, taken aback by his words. “You’re… staying?” She asks. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, but God the thought of Harry being hers forever makes her heart pound in her own ears. “Are you serious?”

Harry beams brilliantly at her, letting go of her back to shrug. “Better be prepared to teach me a thing or two about the future, angel. I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again.”

“Oh my god.”  Roni slams her lips into Harry’s, so much so that their teeth clank together, and he chuckles lightly into her mouth.

“I love you,” he says, lips hardly moving from hers.  “I love you so fucking much.”

“I don’t understand,” Roni says, pulling back but still holding Harry in her arms.  “How did you figure it out?  I mean like, the fact that you can time travel.  How did you--”

“Trial and error,” Harry explains.  “Violet wanted me to wait a while.  She said that it would be difficult to learn if I tried right after you left.  The broken heart would make it more devastating if we failed.”  Harry smiles.  “Smart girl, Violet is.  But I couldn’t wait very long.  About a week later, we started working together to get this all sorted out.  We worked on exercises.  We worked on visualization.  We did everything.”

“And then?”

“It took some time.  Obviously.  Went to a few different places.”  He grins. “The 18th century was a lot of fun.”’

“You went that far back?”

“Sure did. Almost didn’t want to leave.”  A playful twinkle glistens in Harry’s eye. “Some old Victorian broad showed me her ankle and I was ready to propose marriage.”

Roni slaps his arm lightly.  “Shut up.”

Harry laughs, finding himself so hilarious. “M’joking,” he says.  “Of course that didn’t happen.”

“Where else did you go?” Roni asks, then softens.  “What took you so long to find me?”

“Wanted to make sure I had the technique perfected,” Harry explains.  “Wanted to be sure I knew how to control where I was going.  The first time I traveled was only to 1899, and it was quite unintentional.  The second time, I was experimenting a bit.  That’s how I ended up in 1778.  But there was a catch.”

“Which was?”

“It was a different 1778.  Not one that you’ve heard of.”

Roni looks confused.  “But… how--”

Harry grins like he knows something Roni doesn’t.  “Ever heard of parallel universes?”

Roni can’t help the laugh that escapes her lips. “Well holy shit.”

“I take it you’re familiar with the concept?”

“I am,” Roni says. “You were the one who told me about it.”

Harry raises his eyebrows, then immediately furrows them in confusion. “I did? I don’t remember—“

“As an old man,” Roni explains. “I met you when you were like… 90 something.”

“Oh.” Harry’s confusion softens. “No kidding. That’s neat.”

“No but… that would mean...” Roni trails off, confusion etched into her features, as she processes everything that’s going on.  “I saw you… you were old…. you died. And Oliver said you… you always talked about this girl from your past... That would have been me, wouldn’t it?”

“I tapped into something even you couldn’t tap into.”  Harry seems proud of himself, and he flashes Roni that smug grin she’s missed so much.  

“What do you mean?”

“Alternate realities,” Harry explains.  “Shifting into another dimension.”

“But how does that--”

“In another universe, yes. Somewhere in time, your memories are true.  I was old.  I was unsuccessful in finding you. In that universe--” he gestures vaguely around the graveyard, “--I’m six feet under somewhere around here.”

Even he seems to be hit with the somberness of his words.  He takes a moment to let that sink in, and then he’s right back to his normal, cheery self.  “But!” he says.  “I shifted.  Into this reality.  With the help of Violet, I created a separate timeline.”

“At the cost of--?”

Harry sighs.  “I mean.  At the cost of some of the people I loved most back home.”  He shrugs.  “But that’s what alternate universes are for, I suppose.”

“Why couldn’t I have just… created my own alternate universe then?  In which I could have kept my mom alive AND stayed with you?  Why didn’t Violet give me that option?”

“You could have,” Harry explains.  “But there wasn’t a guarantee you could have both.  Plus, once you leave one, it is extremely difficult, if not entirely impossible, to get back. You weren’t willing or ready to make that sacrifice.  I was.”

“So we’re in a parallel universe?”

“I am.  You’re not.  You’re in your regular timeline.”

“And you--”

“Shifted into it.  Changed the fate’s design, so to speak. It did shift your timeline a bit, as far as my own existence goes. You remember me being old.  You remember Oliver attending my funeral.  But Oliver doesn’t.  No one has any memory of me, in fact.”

“So who are you to everyone then?”

“That’s the beauty of it.”  Harry grins.  “I’m whoever I want to be.  For all they know, I’m a famous singer from the UK who moved here for work.”

“Oh my god,” Roni giggles, leaning in to kiss all over his sweet, teary face once again.  

Harry smiles that dimpled smile, obviously over the moon and basking in the way she’s loving on him.

“My sweet boy,” Roni says, lips smushed just below his ear.  “My sweet, sweet boy.”

“Missed you,” Harry says quietly. “Couldn’t go on in a world without you.”

Roni bumps her nose tenderly along Harry’s. “I missed you so much.”

Harry laughs quietly to himself.  “Can’t even begin to tell you how excited I was when I ended up here.  Cried with happiness.”

“How long have you been here?”

Harry’s eyes dart up to the sky as he thinks, doing a bit of mental math in his head.  “Two days.  Give or take.”

Roni feigns offense. “And you didn’t come find me right away?!”

“Tried.  Couldn’t.  Didn’t know where you’d be.”

“But how did Violet know?”

Harry smirks.  “I don’t know.  I don’t know how she knows anything. But it seems she knows everything.”

Roni chuckles.  “Apparently so.  God.”

Harry hums, brushing Roni’s hair behind her ear and leaning in to kiss her nose.  “God, I love you,” he says.  

“I love you, too, Harry.  Thank you for finding me.”

“Promised you I would,” he says, punctuating his sentence with a kiss to the corner of her mouth.  “Was so hoping more than anything that you’d be waiting for me.”

Now Roni frowns.  “You had doubts?”

Harry shrugs.  “No.  I mean…” he trails off, eyes scanning the sweeping hills of the cemetery as he considers his words. “No.  I don’t know.  I was hopeful.”

“But…?” Roni presses, leaning into him.

“But you lived in the future.  You had--” he trails off, eyeing Roni carefully.  “--have…. A boyfriend?”  His statement turns into a question, and the look on his face makes Roni giggle.

“Had,” she answers.  “We broke up.  Very shortly after I came back.”

Harry frowns.  “M’sorry to hear that.  Was it… you know...?”

Roni shrugs.  “I was hopeful, too,” is the only answer she offers him.

“Hopeful for me?”

“Yeah.”

“You knew I’d find you.”

Roni kisses Harry’s cheek. “I hoped you would.”

“Poor bloke though. I know how hard it is to live in a world without you.”

“Somehow I think he’ll manage.” Roni giggles. “No, actually, I saw him this morning. When I was—“ She trails off, suddenly remembering the bouquet of flowers she’d bought that now lays forgotten a few feet away. Harry seems to notice them at the same time she does, and he turns back to her. He doesn’t push for her to finish her thought, he instead strokes her hair and admires the way it looks in the wind.

“I was going to put flowers on your grave,” Roni explains, sheepishly.  “I don’t know what I was thinking was going to happen.  Maybe… like, closure or something.  I don’t know.”

“Closure,” Harry repeats, smiling. “Wanted rid of the haunting memories of me then?”

Roni rolls her eyes but she giggles that giggle that Harry has dreamt about every night since she’d left.  “No, god, of course not,” she laughs.  “It’s just that living with the weight of how much I missed you…”  She trails off again, and Harry can see the gears turning in her head as she immediately processes another thought.  “I still don’t understand,” she says.  “I never believed you when you told me.  You as an old man, I mean.  I’d brushed it off.  I hadn’t thought it was realistic.”

Now it’s Harry’s turn to feign offense.  “As realistic as time travel.”

“I know,” Roni giggles again.  “It’s just that you were old when you told me.  I didn’t know you.”

Harry grins now.  “Was I a handsome old bastard?”

Roni’s giggles turn into full belly laughs.  “I mean, I was like, sixteen.  So I didn’t think so, no.”

“Bollocks,” Harry curses, and Roni snorts.

“This is insane,” she says, shaking her head.  “I’m talking to you about… well, you… but as an old man. Memories I have of you, that you didn’t even exist for.  But you did.  I don’t know.”

Harry nods.  “It’s an odd thing,” he agrees.  “An odd situation we find ourselves in for sure.”

Roni hums in agreement, and a moment of comfortable silence falls between the two. She giggles after a moment, squishing Harry’s cheeks between her fingers and kissing his lips again, slow and smiley.

“God,” she says, when she finally pulls away. “I still feel like I’m dreaming.”

Harry pulls that cheeky look of his that Roni’s missed so much, wiggling his eyebrows.  “You want me to pinch you, honey?”  He squeezes lightly at her sides and she squeals, wiggling out of his grasp.  He beams at the sound, wrapping an arm around her quickly and pulling her right back into him before smooching all over her cheeks and her nose.  “C’mere,” he growls playfully.  “Not getting away from me that easily.  Never again.”

She continues to giggle, submitting completely  to him as he tilts her head and kisses her.  They laugh into one another’s mouths, their giggles dying down as their kisses increase in intensity.   His tongue trails along her bottom lip, and it’s almost embarrassing how quickly Roni grants him access to her own tongue.  She’s missed his taste more than she’d ever thought it possible, and she can’t help but to moan when her tongue slides along his.

“Fuck,” she whispers, completely unaware of the fact that she’s crying again.

“Hey,” Harry coos, pulling away and cupping her face with his hands.  “Stop that.  No more of that.  No more crying.”  He swipes at the tears under her eyes, stroking her cheek bones as lovingly as he can. There is no way to convey exactly how he’s feeling right now; he’s just so in love with her and so relieved to be holding her again. Seeing her cry, indicative that she feels the exact same way, makes his heart both sink and soar, and his eyes well up with tears all over again.

They both realize he’s crying too at the exact same time, and they laugh at how silly they’re both being. Harry, still holding Roni’s face in his hands, continues to wipe at her tears while she reaches up to wipe at his.  They continue to laugh and cry and kiss, holding one another as close as they possibly can and forgetting about the entire world around them.

After a little while, Harry pushes himself to his feet with a little grunt. Roni immediately misses his warmth, which is pathetic, she knows.  She can’t help the little whine that escapes past her lips as she reaches for him, and he chuckles as he takes her hand in his. “I’ll be right back, honey, I promise.”  He gives her hand a quick squeeze before turning on his heel to go retrieve her discarded bouquet of flowers.

Roni watches him, so completely enamored and in love with him as he walks.  He’s dressed sort of funky, not quite in his 1920s style but definitely outdated by today’s standards.  He isn’t wearing his cap that she’s missed so much, but his curls are styled messily-- which isn’t helped at all by the wind.  He looks so handsome. So soft.  So him.

Her Harry.

She still feels like she’s dreaming in all honesty, and as she keeps her eyes glued to him she revels in the fact that he’s here. This person that she’s quite literally ached for for months now, the person she didn’t think she could possibly live without, the person she never thought she’d see again— he’s here. He found his way back to her because he loves her. It simply doesn’t feel real.

Harry picks up the bouquet and buries his nose in them, taking a big inhale and smiling to himself with the cutest dimpled smile.  He looks back to see Roni— his sweet Veronica sitting there on the grass, wind whipping her hair and a silly, sweet smile on her face.  He’s overwhelmed, really, and he walks quickly to close the space between him and his girl.  

When Harry arrives by Roni’s side he plops right back down beside her, kissing both cheeks and the tip of her nose. When he pulls away, he’s smiling softly, and he nods down to the bouquet in his hands. “These were for me?”

“Yeah,” Roni says, somewhat bashfully. “I mean… for your grave. So. Yeah, for you but like… not? I don’t know.”

Harry chuckles, humming as he nods. “Mm.”  He reaches into the cheap paper that holds the bouquet together and fingers lightly at a petal. “These are lilies.”

Roni, impressed by his knowledge of botany, smiles. “They are, yeah! How’d you know?”

Harry laughs. “Wasn’t born yesterday, Veronica, for heaven’s sake,” he teases.  “In fact, I was born….” Harry scrunches his face, doing a bit of mental math in his head. “About a hundred and one years ago I think!”

“Holy shit,” Roni says, doing the math in her own head. “So you’re… old.”

“Technically, I suppose,” Harry chuckles. “But also, not actually.”  He kisses her temple,  then reaches into the paper bouquet.  Roni wonders briefly what he’s doing, until she sees him snap a lily off of its stem.  It looks so delicate between his fingers it makes her shiver, and she hardly has time to register what he’s doing before he’s tucking it gently behind her ear. He moves slowly, his thick fingers brushing lovingly against her skin.  

Harry’s eyes scan her face, and in this moment Roni has never felt more loved. He cups her jaw and runs his thumb along her cheek, his green eyes still wet with tears. He hums, his mouth looking so irresistibly delicious, and Roni holds his eye contact with bated breath, waiting for him to do something.

“You are so beautiful,” he says softly, almost more to himself than to her. “My beautiful girl.”

“Your beautiful girl,” Roni repeats, leaning into his touch. “Thank you for finding me.”

“I’ll always find you, Veronica.”  Harry drops his hand from her jaw and wraps it around her smaller hand that’s placed in her lap. “In every timeline,” he leans in and kisses her forehead, “in every lifetime,” he kisses her nose, “I will find you,” her lips, “and I will love you with everything I have to give until my heart stops beating.”  He kisses her lips again, slower this time, before resting his forehead to hers and allowing his eyes to close.

They sit like this, silently drinking in one another’s presence, and when a tear slips down Roni’s cheek neither of them mention it.  Harry presses velvety kisses to Roni’s lips every few seconds or so, and even he’s crying after a bit.  

No words are spoken, but no words are necessary.  In fact, it doesn’t feel like there would be any words to even begin to describe the happiness in both of their hearts presently. Roni swallows down a lump in her throat and giggles, sniffling a bit.

“God,” she says, “I think I’ve cried more in the past few months than I have in my entire life.”

“Well we’re fixing that,” Harry says, pulling away and wiping at her tears. “Effective immediately. No more tears. From here on out.”

“You promise?”

“Only happy ones. I promise.”

Roni licks her lips, then leans back in to kiss him again. “I like the sound of that.”

They stay like this for a while, disregarding the way it’s getting colder by the minute and the way that the tiny bit of sun that’s peeking through the clouds is beginning to dip behind the treetops. Roni catches him up one everything that’s happened in her life since she’d left him, and Harry tells her all about all the adventures he’s had while trying to find her. They laugh, and they continue to cry on and off (which makes them laugh harder) until Harry finally notices Roni shiver subconsciously at a gust of wind.

“Getting colder,” he observes, then adds “perhaps we should get out of here.”

Roni hums in agreement. “We should.  You’ve got to meet my grandparents.”

Harry’s face changes into somewhat amused confusion. “Already?”

“What?” Roni says, rising to her feet and brushing the dirt off of her jeans. “If you’re going to be staying with us you’re going to have to meet them eventually.”

“Yes, but….” Harry rises to his feet as well. “Don’t you think we ought to do this right? I mean, they don’t know me, you’ve just broken up with your long term boyfriend, they’re going to think I’m a creep.”

Roni giggles. “They won’t. I promise. I’ll say you’re a friend from college who’s recently moved to town. We caught up today and you needed a place to stay for a bit. They won’t care.”

“They won’t think it’s… I don’t know, improper?”

“You’ve never met my grandparents,” Roni says.  “They’re like the chillest people ever.”

When she’s met with only a look of pure confusion on Harry’s face, she laughs again. “You’re in the twenty-first century now, Harry. It’s your turn to adapt.” She lightly pinches his side, causing him to laugh.

“Suppose so,” Harry giggles, taking her hand in his and interlacing their fingers.  “Lots to learn.  I have a feeling you’re an excellent teacher, though.”

Roni smiles, swinging their hands as they fall into step, walking along the gravel road winding through the cemetery.  “Well, I’ll do my best,” she says.  “It’s the least I can do for you after you bent the laws of time itself to come and find me and all that.”

“Exactly,” Harry says, nodding.  “Although I won’t lie to you, Veronica, I’m a bit nervous to get it all sorted out.”

Roni gives Harry’s hand a reassuring squeeze.  “Don’t be,” she replies.  “We don’t have to have it all sorted out. When have we ever had anything sorted out?”  She laughs quietly to herself.  “I’ve come to find that life is much better unplanned.”

“Yeah?”  Harry squints, eyes scanning the vast hills as the wind whips his curls messily.  “Well, I’ve come to find that you’re right about most things.”

The silence that follows is comforting and soft, but both are thinking the exact same thing.  Sure, it is a bit terrifying to start a life together--properly--like this.  Harry is here to stay, and as wonderful and exciting as that is, they both know it’s going to be hard work.  He’s going to have to adapt, and it isn’t going to be easy.  He’s starting from scratch.  No job, no house, nothing.

But he does have his honey by his side.  And somehow that’s enough.

They exit the cemetery, hand in hand, and Harry tries his best not to look so clueless as he observes the world around him.  Roni is patient and gentle with him, answering any questions he has and giggling when he makes jokes.  They’ve fallen into their comfortable swing of things that they’ve both missed so deeply, and Harry reckons that with his Veronica holding his hand, he can conquer anything.

As they approach Roni’s grandparents’ house, however, the butterflies in Harry’s stomach begin to act up.  His hands grow sweaty and he hopes Roni doesn’t notice.  (She does.)  He wipes his free hand on the thigh of his trousers and swallows, slowing the pace of  his walking until he stops altogether.

He looks up at the big house, daunting but quaint and surrounded by a completely innocent looking white picket fence, and he can feel Roni watching him.  She’s nervous, too, he knows it.  She gives his hand a squeeze before letting go, and his hand falls dully to his side.

“You sure you’re ready for this?” Roni asks quietly.  “I mean, are you sure this is what you want?  To be here, in a different time, re-learning the world and the people in it?”

Harry turns to her now.  “Of course this is what I want,” he insists, almost defensively. “I just… it’s a bit more scary close up, isn’t it?”

Roni knows he isn’t talking about the house.

“It is,” she says slowly, after a beat.  “But, if I know anything for sure, it’s that you and I make an excellent team.  Whatever the circumstance, we can navigate it together, even if we haven’t got a clue what the right answer is. Somehow I know we’re always going to figure it out.”  She lowers her voice, stepping in closer to Harry.  “You’re the bravest, most wonderful man I know, Harry.  You’re going to be fine.”

He turns to her, smiling as he swallows down the nauseous feeling in his throat.   She beams.  “You’re going to be just fine,” she repeats.

Harry reaches forward, taking her hand in his and bringing it up to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to each of her knuckles.  “Alright,” he says quietly.  “I’m ready.”

Roni smiles, squeezing his hand again and taking a deep breath in through her nose.  “To our new life,” she says.

“To our future,” Harry adds.  “To… forever.”

Roni nods.  “Forever.  Yeah.”

With deep breaths and trembling fingers, Harry and Roni step though the little gate surrounding the yard of the house and make their way onward.  Into their future.  Into the intimidating uncertainty of navigating a life brought on by such unique and odd circumstances.  Two souls, interwoven and transcending time and space itself for the chance to be together, taking on the new set of challenges that await them because they have each other.

No matter where they end up in any lifetime, together or apart, they will always find one another somewhere in time.

[tiptapricot]

I’ve been having a lot of Evil Robo BnT thoughts recently, so here’s a bunch of them! This ended up pretty long just as a forwarning djjdjd

Post DeNomolos, Evil BnT are forced to do a lot of self exploration and discovery

They’re two robots from the far future, stuck in the past with each other and the two humongously important historical figures they were not only sent back to kill, but also physically made to look and sound exactly like, with no way back to their own time and no further reason to carry out the mission they were created for

It’s a lot to adjust to

(Three uses of the f-slur near the end in a canon compliant/reclaimed usage context, and implied sexual content, but extremely mild)

It still doesn’t have much of an impact on them at first though, besides some anger and annoyance. They don’t feel emotions in the same way or to the same depth that humans do, so they kind of fall back on: this sucks and that guy was a dick, guess we have to live in the stupid past now, and that’s the extent of it

But they’re also AIs, and AIs learn and grow

They hide out in a cheap apartment for the first few months or so back, going out to steal money to pay for rent and to pick up movies and stuff, but it’s exposure to the world, it’s living. And the more they interact with people, the more media they consume, the more the rigid walls of their programming break down and expand

And that’s when things start getting complicated

Because that’s when things like morals, sense of self, purpose in life, and, to their horror, real emotions start coming into play

Their evil edges start corroding, things stop being as straightforward, and they start developing into their own complex people

Being Bill and Ted with a few glorified descriptors stuck on the front starts feeling… weird, especially when they inevitably end up running into them again and being around them more

Because they’re supposed to be Bill and Ted, but they aren’t, and yet they can’t completely deny the parts of themselves that are….. it’s frustrating

As a first step in both asserting and exploring their individuality, they choose their own names

Evil Bill chooses Willis, or Will for short, and Evil Ted goes with Theoneous, Theo for short

It’s different enough to feel like their own thing, while still appeasing the ingrained itch to take BnT’s place

There are gaps like that, a disconnect/mental dissonance between their consciousnesses and the knowledge that they’re robots, circuitboards and wires and code, like a separation between what they feel is them and what they feel is the robot

That’s an experience that continues as they grow, especially as they try and figure out what to do with their lives. It’s tough sometimes, to figure out where the programming ends and where their own wants and drives begin

They’re the only ones familiar enough with future tech to help each other when they experience technical issues or need repairs, and the only ones they feel comfortable being that physically vulnerable with

It leads to them being kind of codependent, but it’s warranted in a lot of ways

They also naturally stick closer to each other, because even though they grow to have emotions and are able to care about people, they aren’t totally mushy

They don’t get as upset about things, or as excited, and while they form their own kind of love for the people they end up caring about (without admitting it), they’re still never able to connect with humans in the same way they connect with each other

It’s this inherent wall, a difference in how they experience the world

Their forms of affection are machine based, just like how humans are human based. They’ll give each other cold packs when it’s hot or they’ve been moving a lot, they’ll do evening maintenance on each other, chatting while one of them has their hand in the other’s chest cavity, and they jump on each other or bang their shoulders together super hard, because they can’t feel a thing and they’re durable enough for it, and that’s fun to them

That doesn’t really carry over to human interaction though, and a lot of times they end up coming across as cold or mean

They generally have a rougher seeming relationship than most humans. There’s a lot of teasing and insults and slapping, which turns most people off from them, but that’s how they show they’re comfortable (it’s also how they show they don’t like people, but there’s a subtle and meaningful difference there, AKA that they won’t purposefully try to harm the former party)

Robots process sound differently too, for them it’s more of a physical experience than just listening

Will’s guilty pleasure is that he likes to listen to piano (secretly), especially Debussy and other classical that sounds similar. Something about it makes his circuitry feel good and fuzzy and calms him down

He doesn’t feel comfortable telling Theo about it, it still feels like a dumb pussweed thing to be into (plus it continues to make him have some most non metal thoughts about kissing and That’s DEFINITELY not something he can share)

They also both really like death metal. Though they were loosely programmed with the knowledge of BnT’s music taste, it’s not quite their style, and they lean towards the more intense stuff

They do that in most fields though, since it usually takes higher energy stuff to get them going/excited/into something

That’s why they roughhouse a lot, and mess things up, and drive recklessly, it forces their mechanics to process more things more quickly, and as a result gives them their own form of dopamine/adrenaline

Sometimes things backfire, they’ve fucked themselves up accidentally on more then one occasion when stuff goes too far or isn’t what they expect, but they’re always there to patch each other up

When their synth skin gets ripped or torn they don’t always bother to repair it, and underneath there’s a layer of see through hard plastic and their bodies look like those clear case electronics that were popular in the 90s (idea cred to @juiceboxfrog !)

They also have inspector gadget-like telescoping stretch arms at their wrist and ankle joints, but they don’t use those much because they’re unsettling to most humans. Definitely a leg up when they want to climb places the shouldn’t, though (idea cred to @showbiz-za !)

Theo is more prone to needing fix ups than Will, since the extra wiring that was installed for the time and space spanning camera DeNomolos gave him made him more susceptible to short circuiting, over heating, and other glitches

After awhile he just takes his left eye out and leaves it like that, keeping his hair in his face to cover it. It doesn’t do anything for the internal parts of it he still has, but it’s not like it’s a loss. The connection port kept sparking, and it was uncomfortable and kept fucking with his vision, so it wasn’t worth it

Plus he didn’t really like that it used to be a camera… or still could be

One of the things Will and Theo both have to get used to is actually valuing their own privacy and autonomy

When DeNomolos was around they were just his tools, tools that he didn’t even like

They honestly grow to resent him pretty fast, both with his treatment of them, and, when their emotions are especially out of control, his creation of them

They don’t talk about it much, or when they do it’s mainly anger, not addressing or showing the more raw parts they do feel, because that’s still foreign to them, and their circuits weren’t designed to process or understand more complex stuff

Complex stuff like how being around Ted more makes Theo develop a certain… insecurity

It’s not like the connections are hard to make: he looks like Ted, he sounds like Ted, he was meant to be Ted, Ted has a dickweed of a dad, and Theo had a dickweed of a creator, Ted has Bill and Theo has Will

But Theo doesn’t have Deacon

And while he doesn’t want to be exactly like Ted, part of him also does (it was made to). Part of him wants to be human, to have those natural connections and someone to watch over

But he doesn’t and it’s weird*

He tries to ignore it, chalks it up to his drive still attempting to put him on his original track of replacing Ted, and therefore making him more aware of the family roles Ted has

For all he knows that is what it is, he’s just a robot after all

Even though they aren’t really ones for mushy love, Will and Theo do love each other

You can’t not when you know the other person inside and out, literally

They joke a lot about that when they’re doing repairs (“Dude you’re holding my heart, pretty faggy of you.”), and though they laugh, there’s an unspoken intimacy to it, something that sits warm in their wires and goes beyond platonic; something (though they would never describe it as such) loving about getting to take care of each other, and getting to get taken care of

The jokes also stop being jokes after awhile and take on a charge, morphing into unofficial flirting

Eventually that charge sparks, and their relationship becomes a different kind of physical. That’s new, too, a type of exploration neither of them are familiar with, but it’s nice, it’s good, and it’s easier to write off as casual and not meaningful than anything else (for the record I do think this works/plays out different for them than it does for humans, but I will nOt get into that here or anywhere lmao)

That arrangement doesn’t last forever, though, because one night Theo has a bad malfunction that cause him to completely power down, and it sends Will into a panic

It takes him almost an hour to fix the problem and for Theo to reboot, and when he comes back Will can’t stop touching him and checking in and it’s weird

“Why are you so worked up dude, this’s happened plenty of times.”

“Yeah I know you just… you fritzed out and went limp and it freaked me out dude.”

“So? You know this is nothing to worry about. I don’t get why you’re kinda acting like such a pussweed dude.”

“I didn’t know what was wrong! That’s plenty of reason to be fucking worried!”

“Not for you! Not for us! Why the hell do you care so much this time?”

“Because I love you, asshole!”

And then there’s silence, and staring, and then Theo cracks a smile

“Heh, fag.”

Kissing after a confession, as it turns out, makes both of them short circuit, and they wake up three days later still tangled up on top of each other, half falling off the apartment couch

“Y’know… I think we’re both fags now dude,” Will whispers, and they chuckle in the space between their mouths. “I did it first though.”

*he does get this later with Billie and Thea, but that’s a whole separate post

(As one last thing wanted to add that Love Came Along by Pansy Division perfectly encapsulates the vibes of Will n Theo’s relationship to me, AKA something casual and almost humorous while still being super intimate and emotional, so def check it out if you’re ok with suuuuper explicitly sexual lyrics bfgjgfdfg)

Headcanons masterpost

[spacehologramcollection]

NSFW Alphabet with Fujin.

Oh god, we are back on the NSFW Alphabet bullshit. No one requested this, and I was meant to be writing Bi-Hans, but like, Fujin happened. NetherRealm really are redeeming themselves with this design. Short haired Fujin has ruined me. So here you go, 7 pages of poorly written smut. Most of which was written after a bottle of wine. Enjoy! Warnings: Smut, believe it or not, shocking I know. 18+ under the cut. Mentions of kinks, smut, oral sex and all that good stuff.  GIF doesn’t belong to me. 

• A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Fujin is so soft and caring after. To reiterate the point, you’ve fucked a god, you’re going to be exhausted and a little sore. He knows this. And almost feels a little guilty deep down, but when you reassure him everything’s fine and you just need some TLC he cheers back up. He’ll bring you whatever you desire. You want a bath? He’ asking what essential oils you want. You want a drink? Warm or cold is his question? Also, slight inappropriate use of his power but Elder Gods be damned, if you’re too warm, he may just magically summon a bit of a breeze to cool you down. He wants you to be comfortable and content. So that’s his end goal. • B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) He like Raiden has elected to choose this form, but he unlike his brother, does have a preference for what he prefers. He loves his hair (He knows this isn’t really a body part but still) it’s a huge erogenous zone for him. He loves the soft caresses but also doesn’t mind the occasional tug. He also loves his arms. They are very, very defined, and extremely strong. He’s not entirely sure why you fawn over them, but who the hell is he to argue? Loves it when you run your hands up and down them. Trace those glowing tattoos and get him all riled up. Loves it. He’s built and there is no denying it. Run those hands up and down his taut muscles and await for sinful noises. If he had to choose one part of you, he would struggle. He thinks every part of you is amazing and would genuinely struggle. He’s not sure how to answer when you ask him ‘Chest, Ass or thighs?’ He’s really not sure. Kind of stares, has to ask Kung Lao for clarification. Raiden would be clueless and would have to consult the Elder Gods for an answer. And who said Big Brothers knew everything? When he finds out you’re referring to your body, he doesn’t blush, more just an affirming ‘Ohh’ before him letting you know his preference very casually, more than likely in an inappropriate situation. Queue him letting you know that he prefers your thighs and ass whilst you’re sparring. He will also run his hands up the back of your thighs when you’ve got him pinned, only for him to playfully, and as discreetly as possible, squeeze your ass, before pinning you back. • C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) He’s far more open to experimentation than you would have first thought, but it comes with time (No pun intended there… maybe just a little one) At first, he’ll insist on cumming in you, it’s his preference. It’s just an all-round good way to finish, he loves been inside you and it spares mess. As his confidence grows, if you were to ask him to cum on your thighs, pull out and cum on your stomach, he would definitely indulge you. He’s very curious about Earthrealm customs, and that applies to ‘Mortal sexual customs and courtships’ as he puts it. Very sexy. He’s not overly bothered by cumming in you or on you, he’s sort of neutral to it in a sense and very laidback. If you want him to cum on your chest he will do. But he does like cumming in your mouth. The first time you sucked him off, his hand was knotted deep in your hair, you were on your knees whilst he was stood, hands gripping the back of his taut thighs like your life depended on it. You’re sure you left nail marks but that’s beside the point. When he warned you he was about to cum, you carried on and made a point to keep eye contact locked as you swallowed it all. He was shocked a little bit and you swore you saw a blush spread across his cheeks. A very faded one but you saw it, you’re sure of it. He’s open with how much he likes it, but he’s still very laidback about it all. As long as you’re both having fun and pleasured, then he doesn’t really care where he cares. • D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Dirty Secrets for The God of Wind? He has a few. Can Gods blush is another question? You swear they can, faintly and barely there, but you swear you’ve seen one creep of his face a few times. He’s far more open about his secrets and desires than his brother is. He won’t scream them from the top of Sky Temple, but he’s open with you about them. He’s so nonchalant about his desires and dirty secrets, which begs the question, if you know them, are they dirty secrets? You guess they are, because by god, if anyone in The White Lotus or his Brother found out, you’re sure they’d be a little shocked. Fucking you at The Sky Temple is definitely up there. It’s something he’s done before. Elder Gods be damned. He had to have a hand clamped round you mouth, the walls are paper thin, so you couldn’t make much noise. So, fucking in locations you really shouldn’t is up there. It’s the adrenaline and the way a blush would spread across your face. Slight adrenaline on his part, but he loves seeing you get worked up. Rough sex is on there too, but more on that later. • E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) He’s got some experience under his belt. He’s an Eternal God who looks like he’s chiselled from Marble. He may be the younger of the two, but he’s still been around for a long time. That doesn’t mean he’s fucked a lot of people though. He’s got a bit of experience but not a lot to brag about. You’re his first Mortal though. So, he’s inexperienced on that front. He doesn’t want to break you or hurt you, so he’s very cautious with you at first. His sexual repertoire isn’t out there either, he knows the basics, but he wants to learn. And like I said, he’s in love with Earthrealm and wants to protect it something fierce. He also wants to learn everything about Mortals. He’s constantly remarking on how curious Mortals are with their sex acts. • F = Favourite position (this goes without saying) Has a penchant for wall sex, he’s not sure why he likes it so much. He understands it’s not overly comfortable for you, so he tends to get started with it. There’s just something about you both getting heated, him pressing you up against the wall, and showing off all that godly strength. It’s impressive, most people would cramp and couldn’t keep it going, but he, isn’t just any mere mortal, is he? He’s got the strength and stamina to fuck you so hard that you won’t be able to stand after. He’s still on the cautious side though. He adores and loves you, so he’s still very cautious. He does like you on top too. He loves the feel of your legs at either side of his, splayed over his thighs so deliciously, the feel of your hips against his, and your hands clawing at his shoulders for leverage to help you fuck him. It also gives you prime access to his hair. He doesn’t care if it’s short or long at the time, he wants your nails raking through his locks and tugging them. It really gets him going. You can also do that whilst he’s fucking you up against the wall, it may be why he has a preference for it so much. His sex positions were very limited when you first got together. But throughout the months and years, he’s found a new array of positions that he likes. Doggy is also on there. He is very vocal the first time you fuck in this particular position. Commenting in bated whispers about how he loves watching your ass back up against his cock, hungrily craving more, he also can grip your thighs and hips for leverage. As well as slapping your ass if he’s feeling adventurous. He  has prime view of your thighs trembling as you cum too. So, all in all, 11/10 position. Who knew a god could be so sinful? • G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He can be serious in the moment, and he can also be a little humorous. It’s all to do with the context. He’s more laidback and a little bit goofy in his personality. And that carries over into how he is during sex. If the moment calls for seriousness and is very intimate, then he will be less humorous. He’s very in the moment during these moments. He finds humour to be a good coping mechanism if he’s ever ensure. When you’re experimenting, or trying something for the first time, he will breathily chuckle or make a slick joke. Nothing vulgar or anything to turn you off, more comments that have a light speckling of jest to them. His voice is so light and airy, that anything sounds good in it too. So, all in all, it will depend on the context of why you’re fucking. Intimate he’s serious, quickie and first time trying something, expect a light dash of humour. He’s charming so it works, he always has the right amount and it’s never too much. • H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) As laid back as he is, that does not translate into his grooming routine. He’s very neat and everything has to be neat. It’s trimmed and he’s very meticulous about his grooming routine. So, whilst that aspect doesn’t match his hair, you’re actually shocked to see that the carpet does match the drapes. He’s unsure why you’re staring at them, then back at his hair, then back down at his crotch. He kind of tilts his head, propping himself up on his elbows, and staring with you. You blush a lot when he catches you staring and asks you ‘Is something wrong?’ with a slight frown, worrying that he hasn’t been as precise and neat with everything. When you let him know, that most people you’ve been with, don’t have white fucking hair, he just chuckles. Relief is flooding over that intrigued and curious face of his. • I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Okay, so when it comes to intimacy, it once more will depend on context. He can very intimate, slow, passionate and romantic if the situation calls for it. It’s more reserved for special occasions, really reiterating that he cares for you and loves you. These occasions could be anniversaries for example. Or, if the moment just feels right. If it feels like one of those moments, in which you’re getting lost in each other’s touches, and every touch feels fuelled by the desire to be close to you. He will be more intimate and more romantic in the moment. He’s very intuitive of your needs and how the mood of the room is. Please don’t expect however, big romantic sexual gestures, such as rose petals on the bed etc. He doesn’t get them. Expect creative and tailored romantic sexual encounters. Extremely intimate shower sex has happened before. Sex with Fujin will always make you feel divine and loved though. He’ll always leave cool touches that seemingly set your body on fire with desire after. Touches that are laced with want, need and desire for you. And he’ll always give your body compliments that make you want to moan a bit too loudly. Lots of whispered words in your ear about how perfect you are too. • J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) He may not have the time but he’s not one to ignore his desires. He knows he has a whole realm to protect. A realm that is always in trouble. But how the fuck is going to stop Quan-Chi or Shinnok if he’s distracted? Can’t fight The Lords of Evil with an erection. Okay, he didn’t say that or think that, but you get the gist. When you asked him if gods jerk it with a small smile on your face, laughing in your head about it, when he asks you what you mean by ‘Jerk it’ and you mention masturbation, he simply and very casually responded with he does. Because he can’t get distracted. You almost spit your drink out with how casual he is about everything sexual. He’s so unbothered about everything and so fucking casual it shocks you. He’s not constantly doing it, it’s more when the desire rises and the need, he’s going to take care of it. When he meets you, he finds himself doing it less and less. Your hands feel a million times better than his own do. • K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Okay, so I’m going to be real with you guys, he’s not entirely sure what you mean when you ask him what his kinks are. You will have to explain this slightly odd Earthrealm custom to him. He’s not overly sure if any of the things he likes falls into kinks, but he soon realises that he has a few. He loves hair pulling, he loves to have his hair pulled and raked through more specifically. The noises he makes are unbelievable and they are something else. So, hair pulling is definitely one of them. He’s also a big old switch. He’s so laidback and chilled, he’s into you been more dominant and him been dominant. Whatever the mood calls for. He can be dominant when he wants to be, but he can also let you take control. He does prefer to be a little more on the dominant side. He will never let you know how much he gets turned on when you call him ‘A God’ or tease him about his status. But his cock will always betray him and will twitch and get that ever so slightly bit harder. It’s not that he thinks he has power over you, it’s more the way your lips twitch into a smile, and the way you either moan or whisper it. He’s not overly into biting or marking, but if you ask him or beg him to bite you and mark you up, he’s not going to deny you. He can leave marks that seemingly will last an eternity. He may also have a slight temperature kink. His power is one that can sort of be incorporated into your sex life with great care and ease. But he does love lowering the temperature of the room, watching your body react, as a cool breeze sweeps over your naked form. The way you writhe, bonus points if he’s got your arms pinned above your head. • L = Location (favorite places to do the do) He’s very adventurous when it comes to locations. He has to be extremely careful at Sky Temple, because ahaha you shouldn’t be there. A blind eye can be turned when you’re both chilling on the balcony, faking meditation, to escape a slight lecture. But nothing intimate is supposed to happen there. So, if you’re going to fuck at Sky Temple, it’s his room and you have to be very quiet. But when he’s at your apartment or house, anywhere is fair game. You’ve had sex in your bed, the shower, the couch, on top of your desk, against the wall, countertops, anywhere that strikes your fancy. You once even fucked him in the back of your car, it was dark, and you’d been at the beach and had been driving back. Adrenaline fuelled wouldn’t even cover it. He’s so curious and intrigued by Earthrealmers and their sexual appetites. He’s down to try any location, as long as it doesn’t land either of you two in too much trouble. He has little shame because Gods don’t really know much of shame. But he understands, it can be quiet embarrassing if anyone was to walk in and catch him literally balls deep in you. So as long as it’s secluded enough, and you won’t get caught it’s all chilled. • M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Oho what would motivate a god and turn them on? A fair few things you find out. As mentioned throughout this sinful, smut filled essay, he loves having his hair pulled, tugged or played with. It doesn’t matter if he’s got his long flowing hair, or his short hair, just please play with it. It really gets him going, it can make him go from soft and gentle, to, I need to raw you, very quickly. Soft, fluttery touches get him going too. Especially on his inner thighs or his arms. If you grip his arms and tease, with some strayed fingers that are tickling any bare skin on show, it’ll make him hitch a breath. You also taking control really gets him going. If you were to push him down on your couch, straddle him, and start teasing his neck with your tongue. He’s going to be read to go. His cock slowly hardening underneath you. Anything that involves you two close together, will get him going and turned on. He’s also into having you run your nails up and down his back too. Though this is a more ‘in sex’ kind of moment. He loves also seeing your body, so if you were to undress in front of him, he’d love every second of it. Savouring it because fuck knows when you’ll get the time again. Those glimmering silver eyes, devouring your body, making you feel absolutely divine and making you feel flushed and warm all over. Who knew the God of Wind could make you feel so heated? • N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) He’s not big on degrading your or been degrading. It’s definitely on his no list and one of his turn off. Also, anything that can or will hurt you, he’s not asking anything. He knows he’s stronger than mortals, and he is very careful with you. Any wince and he’s going to be asking if you’re okay. He cares for you deeply and he would hate himself if anything happened to you. He’s also still a God and he’s a very happy-go-lucky one too, so anything that’s said with malice or hatred is going to turn him off. He isn’t into that. He also holds you with such respect, he isn’t going to say anything that he deems to be untrue or degrading. He isn’t doing that. He loves and cares for you. It’s not happening. He isn’t into sharing either. When having a slightly awkward conversation, about threesomes, after watching a TV show. He decides that’s not for him. So that’s no on the cards either. Also, anything that creates a lot of mess is a no go for him. Barring him cumming on your face, because, you know, you clean it up ever so well. And he does love watching you clean it up, enough, that he’s ready to go again. So there’s another motivation. He also doesn’t do power play or dynamics majorly. He doesn’t mind been dominant and taking control, but he will not have you on your hands and knees begging for him. He’s not vain nor prideful, so anything that involves anything above teasing and you breathlessly uttering the phrase ‘Please’ is going to turn him off. He knows he’s a God, and whilst he doesn’t mind the odd teasing phrase and utterance of it, he’s not going to ram home the fact he’s a God and demand anything because of that status. He respects you too much for that shit, you’re his equal and it’s not his style. • Oral = (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He hates saying that he prefers receiving. He just loves it. From the first time you wrapped that tongue around his cock, he became enthralled by the act, and it can make him lose control very easily of his volume control. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t give, because he does give and will always offer to reciprocate the act. He does love having your legs spread either side of his head, splayed especially for him, god he loves it. He just loves receiving and it’s his preference. He had no idea that oral sex existed, so he’s pretty thrilled by it. He makes some sinful noises when his cocks down your throat, hands knotted deep in your hair, trying to keep control, powerful legs taunt as he stands before you. You can make the God of Wind come undone with your mouth, that’s a pretty impressive fete, but certainly not one that you can put on your CV/resume. His skills giving aren’t great to start with, he literally discovered he could pleasure you with his mouth a few hours ago, you cannot expect him to have skills magically. He does gain the skills though, because he’s determined, focused and wanting to master it. So, you know, makes up for it with enthusiasm. That, and his hands feel so good against your thighs, running little teasing circles. • P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Fujin’s pace will depend entirely on the context and mood. He can do slow and sensual when the time calls for intimacy and romance. But he can also do fast and rough, when you’re both worked up and needy for each other. If he had to pick a preference, he prefers to start off with a teasingly slow pace, before picking the speed up and intensity. He can also start intensely before winding it down to intimate. He often lets you pick the pace and roughness, as he wants you to be comfortable. But like I’ve said earlier, it depends on context and who’s feeling more dominant. He loves both equally as well. He loves soft, slow and sensual sex, when he can worship your body, and you can caress his body. He loves the feeling and sense of been entwined together, your bodies and hearts beating as one. But then again, he loves fucking you hard and rough against a wall, whilst you struggle to keep your grip on your words and they soon become incomprehensible, as he literally fucks you silly. Your hands are knotted in either his hair or running down his back, his volume control is turning to mush as well. He loves sex with you, because you show him that it can go either way. Sex isn’t like masturbation, it’s not a chore and something to be taken care of. Sex can be about intimacy and it can also be about pleasure and desire. So, he’s easy going with pace, but he does prefer a mix of soft and sensual and roughness. • Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) He’s very laid back when it comes to quickies. He does prefer to explore and take his time, but sometimes, the need arises for quickies. So, he’s down for them. He’d never really experienced quick sex before you, but upon discovering them he’s not initially keen, but they grow on him. Sometimes you just need a good hard fuck and he can appreciate that. He does prefer taking his time though, so you only really have quickies when the need arises. • R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) For a God he sure does like taking some risks and does love to experiment. The experiment part comes from the desire to learn more about Earthrealm and his curious and inquisitive nature. As his confidence grows, so does his desire to experiment, he’s more worried about you, so he tends to restrain himself a little with experimenting till you reassure him you won’t break. As for risks, he’s into been risqué in terms of locations, but nothing that will endanger you. He’s down for that. He’s not into embarrassing you, so anything that may bring about shame or embarrassment he’s not about. He knows little shame, oh the folly of been a god, but he doesn’t want to upset you. So, risks with some locations yes and experimenting with positions yes. But nothing too dangerous. • S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Yeah, he’s a God, so he does have a lot of stamina to match that status. He can potentially last a really long time, and his recovery is ridiculously quick. He could have just finished in your mouth, watching as you lick off the escaped cum that’s escaped from your mouth, and his cock is already twitching and hardening again. How long he lasts however, depends entirely on how long you’ve been fucking and also how hard he’s going. To start with, he could last a fair bit, but your cunt always managed to make him cum far sooner than he anticipated. He does begin to last longer the more you fuck. But if you’re both fucking hard, and are both really turned on, he can cum quicker than normal. It all depends on the mood. And whilst he may  be able to go for multiple rounds, it all depends on how you’re feeling. He wants to make sure you’re comfortable and content, so if you want to go again, great hop on, if you don’t that’s fine you can cuddle. • T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Whilst he doesn’t own toys, big surprise there, and he has no idea about much of this stuff, he is intrigued upon finding one or two you own. He will outright ask you what it is. Not if people are around though. You hid them well, which means not everyone needs to know about them. He’s so open with you telling them about them and would honestly be open with using them. Some he’s not keen on but he wouldn’t mind using one or two on you. He’s not threatened by a lump of silicone and plastic. He’s made you orgasm multiple times with his hands, cock and tongue, he’s pretty sure with his skills, but not in a vain way, but he’s assured with his skills at making you come undone. Toys, to Fujin, are just something different and an odd Earthrealm custom that he wanted to indulge in and explore. Only to find he’s okay with occasionally busting them out. He knows you’re not going to run off with a dildo, so he’s really not envious of them. That, and he knows he can’t be around as much as he wants to be, so if you want to fuck that dildo and think it’s him when he’s away, you go ahead and do that. Very supportive in your pleasure. • U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Fujin does like to tease a little bit. Not a lot that it turns into edge play or edging to the point you’re screaming out and begging for him to make you cum. He’s not into that. A breathless ‘Please...’ or things along that line are okay. He’s more into teasing with his hands, running little circles round your bare skin, gripping your thighs when no one is looking that sort of thing. It really does get him going. He will also tease slightly with the temperature. One minute, a cool breeze is washing over your naked skin, making you ache for him… only for the breeze disappear before it can ghost over your erogenous zones. That kind of teasing is okay, because he will give into you easy. He doesn’t mind you also teasing him with his God status. As long as it’s not powerplay like. That does make him a little uncomfortable. ‘Show me how a god fucks a mortal’ is okay, but ‘I need to pleasure your godly cock’ is a no go. So, a little bit of teasing goes a long way with him. • V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) The noises this man makes are unbelievable. They make you ache for him and are just sinful. Who knew someone so holy, divine and godly could sound so sinful? He can be very loud with his moans. He tends to have to keep quiet if there’s a chance of you getting caught, which always kills him on the inside. He has fairly decent control of his volume, unless you’re deepthroating his cock, whilst moaning, sending vibrations up his shaft and into his spine. Making him tense and lose control. He loves hearing your noises too, it’s his goal to make you moan loud in his ear, a smirk playing on his lips as he hears it. Literal music to his ears. He will also whisper things in your ear, his voice is so light and breezy, everything sounds fucking so good in it. It literally does make you weak at the knees, from his way of speaking, to his loud moans that rip from this throat. Moans that make you worried you’ll get a noise complaint, not that you care at the time. • W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) NSFW: He literally knows no shame and doesn’t always understand mortal shame. So, be prepared for inappropriate questions outside of the bedroom and the sanctity of your house. Queue him asking about a blowjob in the middle of the art gallery, after witnessing some erotic art. He can also kiss you with such intensity and be so blissfully unaware of what it does to you, that you’re left hot and flustered, after he catches your lips and playfully nips at your lip whilst you’re having a nighttime swim. He’s also so sinful for a god. So much so, you’re not sure people would believe you, not that you’d want to share your sinful secrets with everyone. SFW: He once got back early from a mission early. Only to have you mention that you were a little sad. Bippity boppity boo, the winds clapping, and you look up from your book, to see he’s stood on your balcony. Ready for a night in of just holding you and catching up. He secretly wants a slice of the quiet life. And would love to settle down with you. He loves you so much. He wishes he could spend the rest of eternity with you. He thinks you’re perfect for him and that you were destined to be together. He’s never been more devoted to finding a way you can be immortal, if you express a similar wish to spend eternity with. He keeps up hope of finding a way the extend your lifespan. But he knows deep in his heart, that he is glad to have spent and found you and shared a short amount of time with you; than to have never met you, and him to have spent his eternity without knowing you. No matter the pain it will cause him. Raiden would also be there to help him either extend your life, because you make his brother happy, and he is a supportive older brother. • X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) It’s impressive and is larger than average. He’s got a big dick guys, I’m not going to skirt around this. It’s not overly large but it does stretch you. Probably pushing past the 7” mark. It’s actually pretty thick as well. He’s so blissfully unaware of how big his dick actually is and is almost unphased when you remark how big it is. Good job he’s an expert at foreplay. His cock is in proportion to his body and it just looks right on him. • Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) It’s not overly high but it’s not low. It’s more in the middle. If you’re down for fucking, then he’s down for fucking. He’s also down if you both just want to do some mutual masturbation, or oral sex. Whatever you want. Sometimes though, he would just like to hold you and cherish the moment. He’s not all about the sex either. Your relationship is extremely important to him, sex is just a bonus. And as much as he loves learning about new things and experimenting, he does love just a chilled night in, where you’re wrapped up in each other’s arms. • Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He falls asleep after you. He loves falling asleep with you. After sex, you end up talking about anything and everything. Shit gets philosophical on a night. And you love listening to his stories about all the things that he’s lived with. He’s lived a long arse time too, so there’s a fuck ton of stories. The cool sheets entwined and covering your bodies, legs and limbs tangled. His hands manipulating a cool soothing breeze to cool you down. Your head on his chest, whilst you trace his tattoos as they glow in the dark of the room, his words lulling you to sleep. He’ll make sure you’re sleeping soundly before falling asleep, planting a soft kiss on your forehead, before whispering how you complete him. He’s a fucking giant softy.

[echo-of-sounds]

smut alphabet - hound dog

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

You’ll have to be patient with Ryo. Aftercare has never been his strong suit. Take some time and explain what you need after sex, especially since he goes so rough. Bite marks and scratches are going to need attention. Aches and pains require ibuprofen and heat. Soon he’ll be leaving a bottle of water and pain medication on the bedside table for easy access. He’ll get a rice heating pad and a cozy blanket for you to relax and snuggle under, watching TV till you conk out after the exercise you just went through.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his arms and abs. The muscles are well defined and move beautifully under your fingers. Not to mention how thick his biceps are. They’re there for you to cling tight to: during sex, going for a walk, or when you’re just watching a scary movie.

He’s an ass man, through and through. And that includes the entire area surrounding it: hips, thighs, and sides. If you’re chubby, he just loves it so much more. He licks and claws and grips and bites till you’re raw. When he’s thrusting hard and fast, seeing your tummy and thighs bounce is such a turn on.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It’s thick and bitter. He knows it’s not a tasty treat but fuck does he love seeing it in your mouth, dripping onto your tongue, down your chin. He wants the smell to sink in and mark you for hours.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

One time he howled during an orgasm. It was as humiliating as it could possibly get. At least it was a one night stand so he never had to look them in the eyes again. Since then, he checks himself, making sure it will never happen again.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Relationships haven’t been on his radar. One night stands have been. He knows what he’s doing to thoroughly pleasure you. It’s the softer stuff he lacks experience with. Pain, spanking, choking, whathaveyou, isn’t always everyone's forte. Talk about intimate positions, slow fingering, and gentle caressing. He’s a good learner so he’ll pick it up quickly. Just give him instructions and time.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any doggy style position. He likes to hold your arms, preventing you from touching yourself. It’s rough and near feral as he’s rutting you, cumming deep with bestial growls and a carnal grip. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

If you have the energy to crack a joke between his thrusts, go ahead. But don’t expect him to laugh or make one back. He has a different focus that requires his complete attention.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Not groomed… at all. It’s dark brown, nearly black, and thick. He’s never had a reason to trim up. If all the hair bothers you or you just want to see what he looks like with a nice trim, he’ll do it for you. Don’t expect him to keep doing it though. His hair grows fast and he can’t be bothered to keep up with it.

His happy trail is very prominent as well. It’s a nice sight when he walks around shirtless. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Romance is another thing he needs to learn. A candlelit dinner or a warm bubble bath hasn’t ever appealed to him. Though, once in a relationship, he will spend some time reading about what he could do better. He wants to please his partner, make sure they feel important and loved, and he’s always willing to learn new tricks.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Ryo humps pillows and uses fleshlights. He loves the movement in his hips and thighs and the gathering, dripping stickiness. He closes his eyes, rutting into a pillow, picturing he’s fucking your throat, hearing your strangled gasps as his balls slap your face, 

He doesn’t need porn most of the time. Going to a website, searching for a video he actually likes, then finally starting is such a waste of time. He just wants to jack off, quick and unbothered.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Sir, Daddy, Master- it doesn’t matter what you want to call him, but he will be the dominant one. Hearing you ask for help, whining Daddy while rubbing your legs together turns him on unlike nothing else can. He also likes feeling your body, trusting in him as your Daddy to protect and take care of you.

Sit on his lap and warm his cock for hours. It doesn’t lead to sex all the time. He just enjoys feeling your warmth and having you so close and connected to him. You can totally fall asleep with him inside, comforted by his presence, or watch TV while nursing on his cock.

Is foreskin play a kink? Because he loves it. Whenever you’re cock warming with your mouth, slip your tongue into his foreskin while he’s soft, circle his head, suck it, whatever. He doesn’t know what it is but he loves it.

He wouldn’t even consider it until you’re wearing one but seeing a cute pink collar around your neck stirs something in him. He doesn’t care much about lingerie. It’s just the collar that excites him- whether it’s a high choker, a collar with a bell or bow, or a simple lace one. If it’s pink, it’s better. If there’s a leash he can tug and control you with, it’s the best.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Really anywhere he can bend you over is fine in his eyes. He isn’t picky.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Ryo’s kind of an angry guy. When he starts a sexual relationship, those emotions get funneled into you. 

Ask to sit on his lap. It either means you want him in you or you want to slowly work him up. Whisper ‘I want you, Daddy’ or ‘Daddy, I need your help’ and his hand slides into your pants, willing to do whatever to help his baby out. Make sure you always say thank you though. Or else he’ll punish you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While he enjoys biting and scratching, he doesn’t want to see, smell, or taste blood. He’d never want to permanently mark or scar you in any way. And blood reminds him of fighting villains, dirty, disgusting people. If he bit you and tasted metal, flashes of battles and bruises would rush through his head. He might need a minute or so to cool down or would want to stop entirely before the flashback becomes too much.

This doesn’t have a lot to do with sex but he doesn’t want to be called a ‘good boy.’ He may have a canine-like appearance and some behavior. But he is not a dog. Don’t treat him like one.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s constantly after your taste and smell. He wants to bury his nose in you and his tongue can reach nice and deep. But, like Gang Orca, he doesn’t have human lips and his teeth can be dangerous. They hinder the level of pleasure he can give. If one of those canines catch your skin just right, it’ll seriously hurt. To prevent any pain, he focuses on lapping your clit while fingering you. That’s something he’s more proficient at and it’s kind of required with his size.

His favorite way to lick you is to bend you over the table or to push your chest to the bed, perfectly presenting your ass for him. His fingers spread you open and his tongue will go everywhere.

Like everyone, he enjoys a good blowjob or handjob. He’d never deny one. He likes feeling your teeth graze along him. And like mentioned in the kink section, bite, suck, and play with his foreskin as you blow him. But he does prefer penetrative sex over receiving oral. He just wants to get into you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Carnal, vulgar, like wildfire, relentless, the adjectives could go on. Most of the time, you’ll be a little sore, at least. 

Like with aftercare and intimacy, sensuality never really occurs to him. Few people want hardcore, pounding-till-you’re-raw-and-sore sex every single time. It’s nice to slow down, relax, feel each other’s naked, warm bodies, and lazily move together as one. 

The more you have slower sex, the more he will want it. He realizes how enjoyable and affectionate it can be. Plus, intimacy isn’t something he’s experienced a lot of so getting to experience it with you is lovely.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

All the time. It probably happens more than ‘regular’ sex. You’ll get bent over, pulled into his lap, or dragged to the bed for a quickie. Creating an atmosphere is time-consuming. He’s just horny and wants to get right into you it as soon as possible.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Risks haven’t been a big part of his life. Getting caught doing anything sexual could ruin his career as a counselor and a Pro Hero. Though the idea of you snaking your hand into his lap, silently unzipping his pants, and lazily pumping him under a table at a restaurant is kind of arousing- the adrenal, the completely unaware people around you, your attempts to remain quiet. It’s the thought of doing something you shouldn’t that really gets him going. But he won’t actually do it. He can’t risk his career like that.

Experiments are a way to fuel the adrenal. He’ll buy toys, tie you up, or blindfold you. Whatever you want to try, he’ll try it, especially if it gives him more control over you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’ll go and go and go until you tap out. He has good control over himself and how long he can last. It can be forty-five minutes of him rutting you until he’s close to finishing. Sometimes, one round can last for upwards of an hour. And he’s usually able to go for two but that depends on how you feel. He knows it’s hard, maybe even painful, to keep going when you’re spent.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Ryo’s had to buy so many damn fleshlights. They get taped down and repeatedly fucked. He tries not to be so hard and take care of them but they somehow always end up broken.

On behalf of his partner, he will begin to buy some toys. It depends on your tastes and what he wants to see you in. He’ll spend days scouring websites, looking for the perfect panties, vibrator, and collar for you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’ll slick himself along your entrance, thrust until you’re right there, command you to stay put until he says you can move. It's so much you’re nearly crying, sensitive, overstimulated, sweaty, stuck under him for an hour before he finally grants you permission to come.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He isn’t loud and doesn’t really groan. They sound more like grunts and deep, gruff growls that rumble his lower abdomen.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Smells affect him, like a lot. It’s great when he’s a fan of the scent; vanilla, salty, beach air, you. But when he isn’t, he may sneeze, get agitated, or not even be able to be around whatever the source is. He might come across as blunt or too demanding when telling you you need new perfume. He doesn’t mean to be. It’s just hard for him to be around any intense, artificial, or chemical smells.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

No, it isn’t a red rocket. Sorry if you’re a monster fucker or into werewolves. Ryo’s anatomy is more humanoid than canine so it stands to reason his penis follows that. But even though it is humanoid, his head is more pointy than your average human’s. And the base thickens and swells a bit when he comes. He likes staying inside you after, feeling himself empty out and throb inside.

He’s a quarter-inch short of 8 inches.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s pretty high. He often channels his frustration into training or sex. Once in a relationship, you’ll be one of his go-tos when he needs a release. Some weeks he wants you five or six times. It’s definitely enough to make you sore and ask for a few days off.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

From his years of working as a Hero, his stamina is relatively high. He’s able to exert a fair bit of energy and still feel fine. So after sex, he isn’t that tired, even if you went at it for two hours. He’ll let you take a nap or go to bed but he usually gets up and does something before lying down for sleep.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Let’s Play Forever

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: Yeonjun had always been confident. Some would say too confident even. It’s you, you’re some. It isn’t until he gets passed over for the leader position that you seem him doubting himself for the first time, and you gotta say, you don’t like it one bit.

A/N: this was gonna be a really nasty femdom fic but I got soft and it turned into a fluffy switchy mess, but it’s still nasty don’t worry and still femdom

Anger bubbles up in your throat and you grit your teeth to try and keep it down as you watch the instructor berate Soobin for the hundredth time.

“I’m sorry, Seongho-nim. I didn’t have enough time to practice.” Soobin mumbles with his head down.

“Yeonjun had the same amount of hours to practice and yet he executed the moves perfectly. Why can’t you?”

Of course he’d bring up Yeonjun, the star trainee. He was good at everything, and he was insufferable about it, parading around and showing off to anyone who would listen.

When you’d first gotten into the company and didn’t know any better, he took you to the wall where the names of the top trainees in each category were written, except they were all the same name–Choi Yeonjun. Your confusion only lasted a second before he smugly proclaimed that he was Choi Yeonjun. He’d gotten on your nerves ever since.

You hated how arrogant he was, but most of all, you resented how his proficiency in everything he set out to do only served to highlight Soobin’s mistakes, making them all the more glaring, and that was just unfair. Soobin worked just as hard as Yeonjun did, it’s not his fault that he’s naturally more clumsy and forgetful. Not everyone can be born blessed with impeccable coordination and sense of rhythm.  

“I guess he’s just the better dancer.” Soobin replies meekly.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Yeonjun smirking at you and you turn your head to glare at him.

“Yeah, no shit. You better get your shit together soon or you won’t be here for much longer.” The instructor growls at the poor boy, and Soobin’s head hangs even lower. “Yes, Seongho-nim.”

You wait until the instructor is out of the room, all the while staring daggers at his retreating back, before you rush forward to comfort Soobin.

“Don’t listen to him, Binnie. You’re a great dancer!” You clasp your arm around his back, trying to shake him out of the horrible mood he was in.

“I don’t know, noona. I just can’t seem to get anything right. Maybe I should just quit.” You gasp. Quit? He can’t quit! You wanted him to stay.

“Don’t say that, sweetie.” You coo softly. Just then, an idea pops up into your head. “I know what we can do! I can help you practice. You’ll get better in no time!”

At that, his head shoots up and he smiles brightly, and you swear you could just smother him in kisses with how happy you’ve made him look. “Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Of course, I’d do anything for you.” There was no hesitation in your words. You’d really do anything for the precious boy.  

“You’re so nice to me, noona.” Your heart swells even more until you feel like it could just burst. And then it does, but not in the way you’d hoped. “You know, you remind me of my own noona. With you around it’s like she’s here with me.”

“Oh. That’s nice.” You choke when he engulfs you in a warm hug.

“Thank you for being here for me. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He pulls back but his arms remain around your waist as he smiles down at you innocently, not knowing what his proximity is doing to you.

You were in hell. On the one hand, it felt so good to be held like this by him. You were starved for any kind of intimacy from him. But on the other hand, the way he was looking at you was nothing but genuine and pure, and it killed you that he felt nothing but platonic love for you.

“It’s really no problem.” You say awkwardly, breaking the bittersweet embrace yourself. “Why don’t you go take a shower now. You stink.” You slap his arm lightly, and he laughs.  

“Ok. You’re the best, noona!” He kisses your cheek and runs around collecting his stuff.

As soon as he leaves the room, a boisterous laugh erupts from behind you.

“Wow, getting sister-zoned. That’s gotta hurt.”

“Fuck off, Yeonjun.” You turn towards the boy with a mean scowl on your face.

“Come on, noona, he’s never going to be interested in you. He’s too much of a good boy. He can probably sense that you’re bad news, like a little mouse smelling a snake.” He grins, sticking his tongue out between his teeth and making a hissing sound. “I don’t know why you bother with him when you’ve got me right here.”

You rake your eyes over his seated form, eyeing up his long limbs and his pretty face. He was staring you down too, his mouth slightly parted and his eyes dark. He looked hungry and sinful and that’s precisely why you didn’t want him. You liked good boys like Soobin, not arrogant assholes like Yeonjun.  

Turning away from him, you start gathering your own stuff. “Thanks but no thanks.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“You’re not my type.”

He scoffs, offended by the mere notion. “I’m everyone’s type. You’re just a frigid bitch.”

That brat!

You round on him, stomping towards him and leaning over him with a sharp frown. “No, I’m just not interested in selfish brats who cares about no one but themselves.”

“I’m not selfish.” You hear him protest as you turn your back on him, but you ignore him, grabbing the last of your items before leaving.

________________________________

“You know this isn’t gonna make me do you, right?”

“I’m not trying to get you to do me.”

You glare at him suspiciously, obviously not believing him. There is no way in hell that Yeonjun would voluntarily offer to help you help Soobin practice unless it benefitted him in some way.

He rolls his eyes at your clear distrust of him. “I’m doing this to prove to you that I’m not selfish.”

“So you’re only doing this to make yourself look better? You’re right, that’s not selfish at all.”

He glares at you, “Yeah, and what about you? You’re only helping Soobin because you want to get into his pants.”

“That’s not true!” You splutter. “I care about him as a person!”

“And I care about you.” He shrugs.

“Whatever, as long as it helps Soobin.” You grumble, reluctantly accepting his assistance.

And it did help. To be honest, before Yeonjun joined you, you and Soobin were getting nowhere. Your efforts combined were just not as good as Yeonjun’s and despite the significant improvement, his skills still couldn’t compare to Yeonjun’s. Until the boy in question decided to offer his help.

After that, you weren’t needed that much anymore. Yeonjun was a much better mentor than you were, but you still hung around whenever they practiced together. At first because you didn’t trust Yeonjun. Maybe he was doing this to undermine Soobin in some way or just to generally bully him and lower his spirits. But much to your surprise, Yeonjun was a better instructor than even the company appointed one. He was strict but never abusive. He got frustrated with Soobin sometimes but that was only because he thought he could do better. And he was very creative in explaining things to Soobin–if the younger boy didn’t understand something, he found another way to teach it to him.

You had always suspected that Soobin was a good dancer and singer that could shine if he was given the proper direction and nurture, and with Yeonjun’s help, that’s exactly what he got. And you found yourself growing fonder of Yeonjun the more Soobin thrived under his guidance.

Now instead of attending their practice sessions to make sure Yeonjun wasn’t doing something fishy, you would go just to witness the older boy in his zone. You’ve never really paid much attention to him before–you refused to just because that’s what he wanted you to do–but now that you do, you could see how exceptional he really was. Yes, he was still annoying and his ego was larger than life, but you found yourself softening up to him.

The first time Soobin’s performance got praised instead of insulted by Seonho-nim because of Yeonjun’s help, you were so ecstatic that you had pulled the older boy out of the room and kissed his face off.

“I thought you said this won’t make you have sex with me.” He had smirked at you.

“It won’t.” You shut him up, kissing him again.

______________________________________

Ever since then, you couldn’t stop thinking about his lips. They were always so plush and inviting, especially when he pouted at you, which seemed to always be happening these days as he kept trying to get closer to you.

You didn’t mind it anymore, Yeonjun was an interesting person and you enjoyed spending more time with him and getting to know him. You had learned that, among the trainees, he’d been here the longest and that some of his friends who had left the company have already debuted–something that only fueled his determination to debut more.

Now that you think about it, Yeonjun wasn’t obligated to care for Soobin. For all he knows, Soobin might not even end up in the debuting team, or worse, he might beat Yeonjun for a position.

That’s why it must’ve stung so much when Soobin was chosen as the leader for Bighit’s new boy group instead of Yeonjun.

It was disconcerting to see him doubting himself. You were so used to his cocksure attitude and easy confidence that you almost forgot that he was human too and was subject to the same doubts and fears everyone was.

It shouldn’t bother you this much. Soobin was getting the acknowledgement he deserved at long last, and he was more than appreciative to you for it, gushing about how he never would’ve had the courage and will power to continue if not for your help. But you found yourself only half-listening to his words of gratitude, your mind occupied by the crest-fallen boy who for the first time ever actually looked unsure of himself.

“It’s not the end of the world, Yeonjun.” You told him, back at your apartment. You don’t know why you even invited him over, but you couldn’t handle seeing him look so angry and lost. “These leader positions don’t go to the best trainee. They go to the one who could mediate the group the best, and Soobin is a good mediator.”

“I deserve that position! What can he do that I can’t do?” He asks, and for once, it’s a question rather than a proclamation.

“Listen!” You yell out in frustration, “A good leader needs to listen and you never do.”

“I can’t believe that after all I’ve done, I still lost.”

“Don’t be stupid, Yeonjun. You didn’t lose shit. You still got into the group.”

“Yeah, but I’d have to take orders from him from now on.” He laments bitterly, and you know he doesn’t mean it like that. He’d come to be close with Soobin too, but it must hurt to have the person you helped train get chosen over you. “I’d rather quit.”

“What is it with you boys and quitting? No one is quitting!” You scold him.

“What do you care anyway? Isn’t this what you wanted all along, for me to fail and Soobin to succeed?” He crosses his arms, leaning against your table and looking at you like a wounded puppy.

You roll your eyes and march over to him, “I never wanted you to fail, Yeonjun. I just wanted Soobin to feel better.”

He scoffs, averting his eyes. “Well, he must feel like a fucking champ right now.”

Stepping ever closer to him, you corner him between your body and the table, “And what about you, how does that make you feel?”

“Like shit?” It comes out like a question as he stares at you in suspicion, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips in a pout, trying to figure out what you were going to do.

You place your hands on either side of him on the table, effectively trapping him. He looks so cute like this, all vulnerable and lost. You weren’t used to him being so docile, but it was fucking turning you on. And when his tongue darted out to nervously wet his lips, you couldn’t hold yourself back.

You cut off his startled question as you capture his mouth with your own. Taking advantage of his momentarily shock, you press your lips against his in small kisses that end before he gets to fully enjoy them, teasing him. His lips were as plump as you remember, and you take the bottom one between your teeth and bite down, making it swell up even more. His mouth opens in a gasp and you soothe over his now red lip with your tongue before slipping it into his open mouth.

Once he feels your tongue against his, he reciprocates the kiss, wrapping his lips around your tongue and trapping it inside his mouth as his own tongue moves against yours. When he starts clutching onto you, panting and hard, you pull away, earning yet another pout from his full and wet lips.

“Shh,” You can’t resist pressing one last quick peck against his glistening lips before moving along his jaw and down his neck, your kisses getting rougher the needier he gets.

“Are you doing this just to make me feel better?” He gasps out, pressing your body to his. You could feel how hard he was already and it made you want to devour him.

“Maybe.” You whisper in his ear before sucking on the sweet spot under it, earning a choked moan from him as his hips involuntarily buck forward. Truth is, you’ve wanted to do more than kiss him for a long time now.

“I’m worth more than a pity fuck.” He grumbles, and then gasps when you slip your hand down his pants, wrapping it around his hot member. “You are.”

He moans as your palm swipes over his slit, and spreads his legs to give you better access, his back arching as his hips buck up in time with your strokes.

Pulling on your hair gently, he pulls your mouth away from his neck and makes you face him. “Say it.”

Looking him straight in the eye, you say genuinely, “You deserve so much more, baby. You’re one of a kind.” You stroke him faster, watching hungrily as he gasps for air.

“And what about Soobin?”  He prods, one of his hands slipping under your shirt.

“He’s a good boy too.”

He frowns at that, pushing your bra up and pinching your nipple. You gasp, your back arching into his touch and your hand tightening around his length.

“But I’m better, right?“ He bites his lip, but his moans still come out as your strokes become more firm the more he plays with your breasts.

“This is what you wanted Soobin for, right? To be your obedient little fucktoy?” He asks brattily, one measure mocking and the other spoiled, and you feel your underwear sticking to you uncomfortable with how wet you were becoming. “It’s okay, noona, you can play with me instead. I’ll be your good boy.”

Taking your hands off him, you push him away to slip your pants and underwear down to your legs and kick them away. Then you switch positions with him so you’re sitting on top of the table and he’s standing between your legs.

Grabbing his dick, you slide it up and down your soaking slit. Every time it touches your hole, you push just the head of it inside before pulling it back out, leaving you aching and clenching around nothing, but it’s worth it to hear his whimpers each time.

“What a filthy mouth you have, baby. Such a bad boy who knows how to act good to get what he wants.”

“Hmm,” He buries his face in your neck, sucking big, wet kisses all over your skin. “Let me fuck you then.”

“How much do you want it?” You tease as you push more of him inside and squeeze your walls around him, only to pull it back out once again.

“So fucking bad.” He whines, grabbing your ass and bucking his hips forward, his dick sliding wetly over your pussy. “I can just fuck you stupid.”

“Yeah, is that what you fantasize about, Junnie? Fucking me until I break on your cock baby?” You goad him, rubbing the head of his cock against your clit.

“Yeah I want to fuck you until you’re so filled up with my cum and your pussy is so sore, I’ll ruin you for other men.” He takes his cock from your hand and lines himself up with your entrance and pushes inside.

“Go slow.” You moan, throwing your head back. He huffs into your shoulder as his body becomes flush against yours. His mouth continues abusing your neck as his hips swivel and grind against yours, the friction making you involuntarily close your legs, bringing him even closer to you.

“Good boy.”

“Yeah, I’m your best boy.” He boasts, hips pulling back ever so slight just to snap forward again, hitting you deep inside  in sharp little bursts. “You like having my cock in you? It fills you up just right, huh?”

“Yes, you’re just perfect, baby.”

“I can feel how your pussy is just dying to milk me dry.” He pulls back to take your shirt and bra off, and cups your breasts in his hands, pushing them together. “Can’t wait till you’re all stuffed full of my cum.”

"You can’t have it all, Junnie.” Your voice shakes as his thumbs twirl around your nipples, “Either you get to fuck me how you want or you get to cum inside me. You can’t have both.”

“And why not?” His hands massage your breasts as his hips keep grinding against yours, making you feel like you could cum just from this.

“Because it’s more fun for me this way.” You grin, dragging your nails down his chest and making his hips jump forward.

“So this is how you wanna play, huh?” He challenges, “Fine by me.”

Pushing you flat against the table, he grabs you by the hips and snaps his hips into you, fucking you roughly.

“Shit.” You bite down on your tongue, getting overwhelmed with the sudden spike in pleasure. If you had known the sex would be this good, you would’ve fucked him a long time ago.

“Is it as good as you imagined it, baby boy?” You tease him, using your own hands to play with your tits.

“Yes, noona. You’ve kept me waiting for too long.” He growls, his tight grip on your hips barely enough to hold you in place against his sharp thrusts.

“Poor baby.” You purr, tightening yourself around him and drawing out a long moan from his throat. “Is it too much for you?”

He scoffs and his hips stop moving.  You frown, “Why did you–”

You gasp as you feel him squeeze a finger inside of you, stretching you out almost painfully as your pussy widens to accommodate the extra girth. You whine and squirm in discomfort as his finger prods around the tight space, but he presses his other hand down on your abdomen and holds you in place.  

“Yeonjun, I swear to god–oh fuck!” You suddenly cry out as his finger hits just the right spot inside of you.

A grin stretches across his face as you realize what he’s doing but it’s too late because then he’s fucking you with both his dick and his finger, the combined stretch of his dick and the incessant way he was rubbing against your sweet spot has your legs shaking and trying to close up, the stimulation too much. But his body prevents you from closing your legs, forcing you to lie there and take it.  

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” You grit out, feeling the sharp pleasure shoot up your body as he adds another finger to the one already inside.

“Yeah, cum on my cock, noona.” He groans and fucks you even harder, the slapping sound of his thighs hitting yours and your slick squelching around his fingers filling the room.

When you cum, your pussy almost couldn’t contract around him for how much it was stretched. “Fuck, I can’t, I can’t!” You cry out, your eyes closing against the intense pleasure and your body shaking under him.

“Ah–I’m gonna c-cum, noona.” He whimpers quietly but you hear it, and it tears you out of your hazy orgasm. You summon all your strength and sit up, pushing him out of you and closing your fist tightly around the base of his dick.

“No, no, no.” He shouts, his hips humping the air as he tries to hold onto his orgasm, but with your hand wrapped tightly around him, only a few drops of cum drip down his cock as it twitches in vain.

“What did I say about cumming inside, Junnie?”

“You’re a fucking sadist.” He growls, resting his forehead against yours as he tries to catch his breath and calm down.

“Now I could not let you cum just for that attitude.” You chastise.

“No, please, let me cum, please. I’m sorry.” He whines, kissing you, hot and desperate. His body vibrates in your hold and you could practically taste his desperation. “Please.”

“Okay.” You relent, if only because of the delicious burn in your pussy from the orgasm he brought you just seconds ago. As you jack him off, you spread your legs, putting your pussy on display for him, taunting him with what he can’t have. “Maybe if you’re good, you could cum inside me next time.”  

He was so close already that it only takes him a couple of strokes to cum, his seed landing on your pussy and inner thighs, contrasting prettily against your skin. He must like it too because he stares at like he’s committing it to memory.

“Fuck, thank you.” He grunts, taking off his shirt and wiping the mess between your legs with it.  

“Oh, you didn’t have to.” You say sheepishly, feeling sorry for ruining his shirt.

But he doesn’t care, chucking it to the floor and enveloping you in a sudden embrace, his breath warm against your ear. You let him hold you for a bit, stroking his back as his breathing evens out and his heartbeat slows down.

Pulling back ever so slightly, you cup his face between your hands and whisper to him, “I meant it, by the way. I think you’re amazing and you’re gonna do huge things in the future.”

“I know.” He retorts cheekily, and you roll your eyes and pull him in for a kiss.

________________________________

A/N: Feedback is greatly appreciated mwah

[mikauzoran]

The Ascendancy of The Plan ™ (re: Mikau’s WIPs)

So, I feel like I’ve gotten a lot accomplished in the past few months since I last did one of these status updates. Most of the stories I ended up writing were much longer than anticipated, and I’ve had a lot of ideas just pop into my head that I hadn’t originally been planning, so this list isn’t going to look very different from the last one, but I promise that I have accomplished things, and there are some new projects in the works. ^.^;

I’m currently posting the final chapters of Among the Wild Things and Betting Against the House. Below is a list of works I have planned for the coming months. Let me know what sounds interesting or what you’re excited for.

Anhedonia: When Adrien Met Marinette: (Adrienette, post-reveal/pre-relationship, roommates) So, I’m taking a screenplay writing class, and we’re studying the scripts of several movies to get a feel for how the writer evokes different cognitive responses from the audience. One of the movies is When Harry Met Sally. I’ve never seen this movie, but apparently it’s about two friends finally ending up together after some trials and tribulations. It’s about never giving up on finding love and happiness...only I’m feeling depressed at the moment, and I don’t want to hear about true love because I’m lonely and despair of ever finding someone to share a life with. So I’m using my feelings to write a story. ^.^ Naturally. XD

It’s post-reveal/pre-relationship Adrienette. They’re roommates, and there’s been a misunderstanding because Marinette didn’t tell Adrien how she felt about him after she found out he was Chat Noir, and he’s told her that he’s over her because he thinks that the only way to preserve their friendship (since she’s already turned down his advances as Ladybug, so, obviously, she wouldn’t want him as Marinette either). It has a happy ending, and they straighten things out because I still believe in finding true love and happiness. XD I’m a sap like that, and these two deserve happiness.

Ladrien Present: (Adrienette, Ladrien) I’m still trying to write a story where Ladybug brings Adrien’s birthday party to him. ^.^; I have half of it written (the Adrienette half), and I have an outline for the rest. I just...need to sit down and make myself write it. I’ve seriously been procrastinating on this one. I don’t know what my deal is. -.-;

Marichat Prompt: This is an overflow prompt I received as part of my Productive Procrastination Prompt Giveaway. It’s about Chat Noir visiting Marinette and it somehow coming up in conversation that Marinette has always thought of Chat as a player. For some reason, this makes Chat really angry because he can’t stand her in particular thinking that about him. I thought this story out a couple months ago, but I didn’t write it down, so now I’ve forgotten, and I’m going to have to think up the plot all over again. XD

Alyadrino Prompt: Someone sent me an Ask that said, “Snuggle party makes me imagine what if nino and alya accidentally did to adrien what luka and marinette intentionally did to him in shades 12″, and I thought, “…Oh, all right. Why not?” I had a basic outline of what I wanted to do with this story a couple months ago, but I didn’t write it down, so now I have to figure it out all over again. Oh, well. I have the basic idea, I think.

Lukadrigaminette: At the beginning of the month, I thought, “I should do Valentine’s Day stories!” I ended up writing a Marichat one, and then I had this idea. It’s not Valentine’s Day related, so I decided to shelve it for later. So, several years ago, my friend and I concocted this scheme to bake for our respective crushes and win their hearts that way. It’s a really fond memory for me, and I’m turning it into a Lukadrigaminette story. Luka and Kagami join forces to bake for Adrien and Marinette in order to win their love.

Plagg and Wayzz Prompt: I got a comment on one of my stories that said, “Can you do a top wayzz bottom plagg one? Preferably in universe and in human form. Doesn’t have to be smut.” First I thought, “What the bloody hell?” because it was a comment on a Lukadrien story, and that’s all it said, and I thought, “Well, that’s random.” I’ve never really written Wayzz before, but this gave me the idea for a story where the team is up against an akuma that somehow separates them from their kwamis, leaving the heroes unable to detransform and the kwamis in defenseless human form. What I came up with really doesn’t have anything to do with the prompt other than Plagg and Wayzz will both be in human form. It will probably just end up being a Lady Noir identity reveal piece, honestly.

Supportive Adrien Lukadrien One-Shot(?): I haven’t actually pinned this story down well yet. ^.^; I was just thinking that I wanted to write something where Adrien is the one supporting and encouraging Luka, since I typically write Luka being a supportive presence for Adrien. I was thinking that the scenario could be that Luka is feeling down because Marinette still loves Adrien and things aren’t going well between Marinette and Luka, so Adrien takes Luka on an outing and confesses his love and they live happily ever after or something.

The only thing is that a different scenario is trying to creep into this story. It’s really weird. It’s post-Papillon defeat, and Adrien is twenty-four (Luka is twenty-six). He’s been in kind of rough shape the past few years since his father was arrested and he lost his family and home and fortune. He couldn’t finish university, and he’s been travelling around, trying to find work and make a life for himself. He ends up back in Paris, broke, and auditions for a band because he happened to see a flyer advertising for a new lead vocalist. It just so happens that it’s Luka’s band, and Luka ends up finding out about Adrien’s situation and taking him in and feeding him...but that scenario is just more Luka taking care of Adrien, and that’s not what I wanted to write. XD It also feels like multiple chapters, and I don’t want to go there. Oh, well. We’ll see what happens.

Adrien Trapped in AU-Land: (Adrienette, canon universe featuring AUs) My idea is based off of a writing prompt submitted by @graaythekwami on the @miraculousfanworks Discord server: AU where all the characters wake up in a different AU every chapter, fully remembering what happened in the last AU. My idea is for Chat Noir to get hit by an akuma (probably named Escapist or something equally dumb ^.^) who traps Adrien in a series of alternate realities (AUs) until he realizes his feelings for Marinette and manages to break free.

L’Amour de Loin: (Lukadrien, post-Papillon defeat, Félix wingman) I did a sneak peek for this here. This was one of the two “Winter Lukadrien Pieces” mentioned on my last status update. Adrien is living in London with his aunt and cousin three years after Papillon’s defeat and arrest. He’s in rough shape and hasn’t kept in touch with anyone from Paris. One day, he gets a text from Luka out of the blue, and they rekindle their friendship. Félix acts as wingman to ensure that it turns into something more.

Adrienette Hanahaki: Awhile ago I did an ask game about a trope I’d like to try writing, and the one I came up with was Adrien with Hanahaki disease (The one where you start coughing up flower petals due to unrequited love making flowers grow inside your lungs). I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve decided I’d like to actually write this story. My basic outline is: Adrien starts showing symptoms, and Gabriel badgers him about whom he’s in love with, and Adrien just blurts out, “Marinette!” And Gabriel threatens Marinette into dating Adrien, and they start fake dating but then fall in love.

Happenstance and Magic: Marichat May 2019. Marinette and Chat Noir adopt kittens together, and Adrien tries to get Marinette to see that he’s not perfect but still a worthwhile person deserving of her love.

I’ve been thinking about this one, and I think I’m going to cut the number of prompts I actually use. Once I’m done with the other stories, I want to sit down and make a more thorough outline of what I want the story to be and which prompts I’m going to use to get me there.

The Seduction of Adrien Agreste: This is part of the Springtime in Wonderland (Daisy/Jabberwocky) series. It deals with Luka and Adrien experimenting with physical intimacy to see if they can reach a compromise where Luka and (asexual) Adrien are both comfortable and have their needs met.

Things Currently on the Backburner:

The Rejects Club: Predominantly Marichat with Adrienette. Chat Noir and Marinette unexpectedly grow very close very fast as they open up to one another after Marinette overhears Adrien seemingly dismissing her as a romantic prospect. Identity shenanigans at farcical levels ensue.

I can’t really deal with Rejects right now. I’m feeling super overwhelmed by basic life stuff, so I don’t really have the mental or emotional energy to put into a story where I don’t know how many more chapters there will be until the end. I’m thinking that what I have planned will take at least another one or two hundred thousand words. This thing is just so massive, and I’m not in good enough mental heath to deal with it right now.

Springtime in Wonderland: Yeah, no. See the paragraph directly above. This is another one that’s going to take another couple hundred thousand words to complete, and I just don’t have the stamina in me right now. I’d rather focus on smaller projects that actually feel attainable. I’m trying not to burn myself out.

And that’s it for the moment. I’m sure I’ll come up with plenty of other stuff between now and the next time I do a status update post, but is there anything that you’re particularly interested in? Let me know what you’re thinking.

Thoughts? Feelings? Suggestions? Opinions? ^.^

[lemons-made-here]

Omgggggg I love the denki headcanons! Can you do some with hikaru?

Sorry Lemondrops,,, I went overboard on a few of these. As always my askbox and taglists are open, enjoy!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Hikaru is such a cuddler oml. After sex he just wants to hold you close, he prefers seeing your face, but anyway he can hold you tight makes him happy. Hikaru would rather clean the sheets later and focus on you, he almost always has water bottles and snacks like dried fruit near him if you need them. If you two got a little rough (Let’s be honest, this is Hikaru, you did) Hikaru will rub lotion or oils into your sore spots until you feel better.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hikaru likes your lips and eyes, the way you chew your lips or how big your eyes can grow when you’re excited? He melts. On top of that, you know the exact look and just how to kiss him to make him a puddle in your hands

On himself however, Hikaru loves his arms. How he could throw you over his shoulder at anytime, how you giggle and swoon every time he goes in for a bear hug, or how you leave scratches down the length of his biceps everytime he thrusts into you

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Doesn’t have a preference other than your face. He likes to see your lovely face clearly as much as he can during the deed. But if you cum on him? He’ll savor it, he enjoys being marked. Your cum and juices on his face? It only gets him harder. But overall Hikaru enjoys cumming in you if you’re okay with it, he thrives to see his spunk dripping out of your worn out hole.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to fuck you in the music room when guests are still there. Maybe when things are slowing down and everything isn’t as busy, but still populated. On a couch further back, away from the crowds but you’ll still have to be caeful of the noises coming out of your mouth. Hikaru pushing you deeper into the club’s cushions, having your cum stain the couches he’ll use the next day.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Meeeeh He has a general idea, he’s been coped up in his room most of the time, so a high consumption of porn, but he understands that’s not how things always work out. He picks it up as you go along, more than anything Hikaru is focused if you’re having a good time, he’s quick to learn what you like.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Standard missionary for the most part, but for lazy morning sex when neither of you really want to move, he prefers on your sides with your leg over his for easy access so he can still cuddle while he’s inside you

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Not goofy whatsoever, Hikaru wants nothing during sex but to shower you in love, adoration and leave you both incredibly satisfied. Though sometimes his “harmless” tickling and laughs leads to groping and feverous kisses. Hikaru’s more of a tease than a goof

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Completely waxed, as a model for his mother’s company its much easier just to get rid of it all together. But underwear model Hikaru? Punk/Peirced Hikaru?...... That kind of stuff... Its already in the works, just ask ;)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Hikaru’s all about intimacy, taking care of you first is the easiest way of getting himself off, although you’d like to say you’re past the honeymoon phase, it doesn’t quite feel like it. Every time you cum Hikaru reassures you, he wants to make you feel special, because you’re his everything

J = Jerk Off (How often, what are they thinking about, …)

Hikaru tries to not masturbate as much as he did back when you two weren’t together, its kind of weird to him now getting off without you there, he’d much rather cum with you or just try to ignore it. However, there are times that he’s away with the host club or his family and he’ll go through his phone for older nudes or texts, but most of the time he’ll text you.

From Hikaru: I need you so bad (N/N), I’m so hard it hurts

You: Is that so? Let me see

Hikaru sent an attachment

Voicemail from Princess💖

Just like that Hikaru, ooh your dick looks so good, you wish I was there don’t you? Wrapping my lips around your cock and sucking you dry, I want you to come all over my face, give me a pearl necklace baby, hold on for a little longer Hikaru, I want you to wait for me, you want to cum? Then you better beg for it

He has numerous voicemails just like it, its easiest for him to get off when he can hear your voice or smell you, so don’t be surprised when Hikaru’s packing for a trip and a few of your panties go missing

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Biting: Hikaru can get hard from the sight of hickies and love-bites littered over your body, Hikaru loves to make you squirm when you’re on his lap and starts to nibble on your collarbones, or better yet hold you down when he’s eating you out as he leaves not-so-gentle bites along your bikini line

Praising: From or to you, during the act Hikaru makes sure you feel loved and appreciated, deep down he’s a little insecure about his skills so it’d do Hikaru good to boost his ego,,,, just a bit

Exhibition: Hikaru loves the thrill of getting caught, in a hallway of his mansion, the music room a few minutes before an event starts or behind a curtain at a gala, if you do get caught, don’t expect him to stop.

Panty Theft: He doesn’t know why, but Hikaru can’t help but sneakily pocket a pair when he’s over or pick a pair off the floor the morning after. He’s says that he was just interested in style’s for the family business, or just conveniently forgot to give them back to you, but deep down he hopes one of two situation will turn out from this a) You finally break and make him replace the ones he’s stolen (He get’s to spoil you and see your new collection... its a win-win) or b) you don’t have any panties left,,, either way he’s going to show off that shit eating grin

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

As mentioned before, Hikaru really doesn’t care where (or when) you two do the do, there’s been more than once you’ve returned to an event or class with your hair in a mess and your clothes a little more wrinkled

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Honestly, little things go way farther than what you’d expect. How you stretch in bed every morning, the look on your face when concentrating or when a do a little dance or wiggle when you’re excited. Hikaru is also a bit touch starved, so running your hands over his chest when you straighten his tie or nuzzling is neck when you two are cuddling gets him going pretty easily too.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Threesomes, as often as he plays the brotherly card at the host club, he loves no one but you, and believes it should stay that way in the bedroom. In addition, aside from spanking, hair pulling or biting, Hikaru really doesn’t want to harm you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He’s doesn’t have a preference, but in his mind oral should be given with a balance, so its not only one party reciving. Although he doesn’t believe it, Hikaru is up there when it comes to skill, he mostly derives off of your sounds and breathing. If you can barely speak, then he’s doing his job correctly.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the mood, but most of the time Hikaru wants to feel every part of you, so he’s a bit on the slower side. Hikaru’s so big that the stretch of his dick inside you makes you breathless every time without fail. If you do go rough, Hikaru can’t hold back spilling praises and ‘I love you’s, but fast or slow, Hikaru wants to hold you throughout.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Hikaru isn’t opposed to a quickie if the time calls for it, he just finds it easier to be in a bedroom so clean-up is a little easier and the act is more comfortable with pillows and a mattress for example instead of a wall. Regardless, Hikaru is down for anywhere and anytime if you agree to it, if you two are that horny than he’s willing to fuck you into the floor.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Hikaru’s up for anything once, but if he doesn’t like something afterwards he’s going to tell you. As mentioned before, Hikaru thrives when in the face of getting caught, so something similar isn’t off the table in the slightest. As for other types of risks,,, let’s just say there might be a deeply buried breeding kink in there somewhere.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Hikaru is usually up for three or four rounds, depending on how long you can take it. Hikaru strives to get you to cum first, because its going to take him a while before he snaps, Hikaru can hold off for at least thirty minutes before he truly reaches a full climax, so be prepared for a long, exhausting night.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Hikaru is a big fan of toys, when he’s not spoiling you with clothes or exotic sweets, its with new toys for in the bedroom. On you or him he really doesn’t care, as long as you’re both having a good time. Don’t be afraid to rough him up a little with a cockring, handcuffs and a plug once in a while, not only does he love when you leave him really a little sire the next day, but you deserve a little pay back for all the times he’s teased you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Speaking of, Hikaru will tease you to no end. (Sorry I thought a drabble would be more adequate for this one)

You caught Hikaru’s eye in the sparse hallway, quickening your pace to finally clap your arms around his neck.

“You would not believe the day I had” You muttered into his shoulder, going on to explain the insanity of your lab partner and the test you nearly failed. Hikaru interlocked your fingers with his and continued walking you to lunch, stroking his thumb over yours as you continued. Once you were in the hallway block for the lunchroom, Hikaru walked himself toward you, until you were snugly pressed between Hikaru and the wall. Your head drooped with satisfaction as Hikaru began running his teeth along your neck and running his large hands up and down your waist.

“H-hikaru!” You whispered frantically, whipping your head around to see if anyone was watching,less than fifty feet away was the beginning of the line for students to pick up lunches, anyone could turn at any point and this hallway wasn’t exactly known for being unfrequented. “ We could get caught! We can’t just, just makeout in the middle of the hallway!”

“Oh, we can’t?” He chuckled, pressed his toned hips towards you, he wasn’t completely hard but you could feel the bulge of his glorious dick pressing into you. After a few sweet kisses from Hikaru to sooth his  previous bites, you began returning them, tugging on his tie to deepen the kiss and Hikaru sucked on your bottom lip, your breath became ragged and the heat from your core quickly began to overcome your fear from possible on-lookers. Hikaru dipped his dipped behind you to the small of your back, making small circles into your Venus dimples.

Suddenly, Hikaru pulled away, straightening the magenta bow around your neck and brushing off his slacks. As he began to walk towards the lunchroom Hikaru extend his hand behind him, signaling you to retrieve it. Still dazed from arousal, you took a minute before catching up.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Hikaru’s not a full-on screamer, but he’s not exactly quiet. Its heavy panting and moans for the most part. Hikaru’s dirty talk is on another level, he’s not afraid to pull out his dom voice if you’re being a brat.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Hikaru is quite the switch, he’s happy on either end of the spectrum. When’s Hikaru is domming he can be both an extremely hard or extremely soft dom. Putting you into your place and edging you until you cry, or adorning you with praises, gentle kisses and soothing touches. If he’s subbing however, you’ll have to get the brat out of him first, but beyond that he’s a pillow princess.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

As I have mentioned in numerous other headcanons, Hikaru is t h i c c about six and a half inches, but he’s so hot and vainy that your mind goes blank.

Your lungs seem to rattle as you let out another shaky breath, sinking down on to Hikaru’s cock, biting harder on your lip you try to hold in a sob as Hikaru rubs circles into your back, chest pressed against yours.

“(Y/N), I know baby, just breathe you’re doing so good taking me”

Your brain feels cloudy, hardly registering the praises Hikaru lavishes you with, you’re just so full. His dick throb so hard inside you, you can feel the pulse in your throat as you lift yourself up again and push down harder. The stretch feels like too much and just right all at the same time, as if you aren’t careful, he’ll split you in two. You push aside the thought and start riding him harder, yearning to feel more of him inside you; Hikaru meets your bounces and hits your cervix head-on. Your vision goes white for a second, heartbeat quickening as your ragged breath hit Hikaru’s shoulder.

“You’re so big Hikaru, so so good” You mumble into his neck, drunken off of pleasure you struggle to keep up your previous pace. Hikaru hums in response and flips you on your back and kisses your sternum

“Be good for me alright princess? Its my turn, so just relax, I got you”

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty average, if you’re in the mood Hikaru’s not going to say no, but he’s not the type to try and seduce you every three hours because he’s horny. If you do go at it for longer or rougher than usual, Hikaru is good for a day or two. Hikaru’s not going to leave you hanging or unsatisfied

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depending on when and where you do the do, Hikaru doesn’t necessarily need to sleep for a couple hours. But if you do happen to be completely limp from exhaustion, Hikaru will clean you up, make sure you’re hydrated and cuddle while you fall asleep.