#but as for right now... im just not handling it very well at all
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I was going to make a drawing for this but I just can't bring myself to do one right now. So instead, here's an old drawing of mine (early 2021) of my dog, Moses.
I know I've been gone a while, and this hasn't been the whole reason why, but it's been a large part. About two weeks ago, my dog suddenly started showing signs of vestibular disease. Where most dogs recover, Moses just kept getting worse overall. Once he stopped eating, we knew it was time to let him go. He's been around for so much of our lives, and while I'm heartbroken that he's gone now, I'm glad we could give him a happy life for as long as we could
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fdb14ecf37bc82522d1431be348feb07/e6b1c2f610bde10e-a4/s540x810/807b6c1c9eca34ddf61bb019663c90a33c17134b.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7d4b5a7aa6e3337c2b1e274471ea90be/e6b1c2f610bde10e-5e/s540x810/ef9d7f4061992e55b046a58df550ccdc23eaf60e.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0cfd1b030565ab38d0e22343fb52cd4c/e6b1c2f610bde10e-54/s540x810/f0474e963734cff87122e92846fbeebd339697ad.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1bcdb85a99777fab24b1c1b4116bd4ab/e6b1c2f610bde10e-0c/s540x810/816f7e2ef135a71a4a0dece6ee9706279506975a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bbed85e64b287e98c36365e7e56d2204/e6b1c2f610bde10e-17/s540x810/4a0655ddffd9cad0aa1acc32eb40b7f6f71b2a28.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/109a024a398d8f873bd6f930ed3bac17/e6b1c2f610bde10e-27/s540x810/d75fbfbee0cc624bd30bf8177b0e19ebb0fa2987.jpg)
Thanks for the cuddles, little guy 🐕🐾
#my head keeps telling me to always be positive on these posts when i can; and I will say that it has gotten a bit better each day#and that it will continue to do that over time#but as for right now... im just not handling it very well at all#ive picked up a renewed interest in sonic recently#frontiers had a 65% off sale on the switch and I've played an unhealthy amount of it#i know avoidance is my main coping mechanism and I'm trying not to be like that#but the house is just too quiet lately and i cant stand it#which is a long way of saying#i dont know when I'll be back#i won't be gone forever but it may be a little while#I've been hanging onto the support ive gotten from those that were already aware of whats been going on though#thank you thank you thank you guys#my attention has been mostly on this little creature for the past two and a half weeks now; before that it was just social anxiety#everything's all compounded together and i just need a little more time to figure out how to handle it all#thank you guys for your patience in the meantime <3
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry him saying he has no idea where the misogyny thing comes from when ludwig just talked about how he sent him a big apology for calling his friend a whore when it was about THE WRONG WOMAN is funny as fuck
i dont think he realizes that the reason no one gives a shit about his apologies and honestly just straight up ignores them is because EVEN IN THE EVENT THAT THEY ARE TRUE he's been proven to lie soooooo many times to the point where you really cant believe a word that comes out of his mouth. he says something and im like "damn maybe i was wrong about that one... i'll look into it" and you get more info and go "oh. he just made that part up. and misworded that. and lied about that part... oh it was actually WORSE than i initially thought!"
#im sure tommy has done some dumb shit#i am MUCH more likely to believe he can change and grow as a person than you can 🧍#im willing to stick by him and watch him become a better person and own up to his mistakes#i have been trying so hard to see the good in you for like 4 years now and i just. cant. every time i think i might be wrong im right again#i HATE to bring it back to this bc it's such a non-issue and not very relevant but#the speedrun issue really was where he showed his true colors#the actual subject here doesnt matter im talking about the way he handled it. im still pissed off all this time later i'll never get over i#he cheats. BLATANTLY cheats. gets proven. sends his mob after the mods. denies everything#hires someone with all this money he has to say he didnt cheat (BUT THE GUY NEVER EVEN SAYS THAT HE JUST CLAIMS THE GUY SAYS IT)#(BC HE DOESNT EXPECT ANYONE TO ACTUALLY READ THIS DOC HE THINKS HIS SUMMARY IS ALL THAT MATTERS)#finds out he did cheat But On Accident (supposedly)#DOESNT SAY SHIT FOR MONTHS AND LETS EVERYONE CONTINUE TO HARASS THE MODS. GEO IS SUICIDAL#and then does a stream where he's like haha hey guys so umm i did an oopsie 😝 but i didnt cheat this isnt cheating it's just. lying!#anyways it doesnt matter bc this was so fun and i had a blast making content :) and besides it isnt a big deal anyways it's just a game :)#months of harassment didnt affect ME so you should be fine :D was a lot of fun thx guys :)#THAT SHIT was where i lost all respect for him#THAT was where i saw this same pattern every damn time#doesnt matter how big or small the issue is it's the same damn thing every single time#even when you're right. you've destroyed all your credibility by continuing this behavior!#yeah you're valid in thinking tommy downplaying your videos is just mean but. frankly i dont give a fuck!#you're probably right about a few other things too and again i just dont care!! he can change and grow and you never will!!!#i'm willing to give him a chance. you've had PLEEEEENTY of chances and havent taken a single one#chat#discourse#i guess? idk this is the only angry rant i'll do. i feel bad might as well add to it lmao
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."
#my characters#ya know since i draw daily idk if ill do any challenges this month#i know theres a LOT of them out there but i might hold off and do huevember as a challenge and let this month just be chill#for what its worth he only asks for a female body because his baby brother (like 10 years younger than him)#commented ONE TIME ugh its so weird to have you dote on me like this#why couldnt you have been an older sister or look less suspicious#so when sent to help his brother hes like RIGHT GOT IT GIRL TIME LIKE THE MOST LOGIC COURSE OF ACTION#then does a really good job at helping the hero and then gets abducted by the demon army and#as rey keeps challenging the demons checking on him in the dungeon (who are all very kind?) to just interrogate him already#and they just ask why would they do that? they just wanted her outta the way for a bit#cause they dont actually want to hurt anyone and then the demon lord keeps personally visiting rey and continues#to point out how she gives him a headache and how the core is different than the shell#and so then he offers to revert rey back to his original form and reynold immediately accepts#and so now hes just a guy again surrounded by v nice demons#and hes like please just be mean ive been trained to handle violence you have to stop being nice#im not used to nice ok you have to be mean or else im going to develop stockholm syndrome#and the demons are just ?? we dont .... dont know.... what that is.......... what.....#then he gets engaged to the demon lord and all is well ! he becomes the trophy husband to the demon lord#and the world is saved (it was never at risk)#i have a lot of love for the idiots in this plot#because reynold and sascha are literal husbands thinking oh no my beloved husband is only married out of convenience to meeee#and solei is the goddess who recruited him and is so mad that reynold is more of a gremlin than sascha#like why is this mere mortal somehow worse than THE DEMON LORD how in the world#and reynold runs around just adopting all of the demon army and is like yeah#ill be the trophy husband with a hundred kids and a hot 7ft tall demon husband who can change into a huge dragon#and hes really content in this role!#but for a while he does appear as rey and hates how much of a highlighter he is
42 notes
·
View notes
Note
“I love you” “it’ll pass” okay but which one is Eddie and which one is reader bc I don’t think I’d be able to handle either outcome
okay. just. hear me out. listen. listen to this idea i don't know if i could ever put myself through the heartbreak of writing. (tw: i'm bringing up the cursed thing that is eddie's canon ending in stranger things as of right now. yes. his... very, very, very long nap.)
"i love you" = reader
"it'll pass" = eddie
...and how ironic it is, for him to have insisted so many times that it'll pass, especially after the canon events of season 4. in which you are left alone, with nothing more than a memory of him, and all you can think is how it'll never pass. the love, the grief, the pain - he lied. it won't pass. even when you finally crave it to.
#im thinking big sad thoughts right now#i was going to save this ask in case i get around to writing it one day but even conceptualizing that tore my heart out#i can't handle writing the canon events very well i just start ugly crying in the corner#thank u ily <3#mention of eddie's death? idk how to tag/tw that properly#anyways#he'd say it more jokingly and less forsaken#a self-deprecating joke that becomes a long term bit between the two of you#but it isn't very funny when he's gone and those words are all that can echo through your heart#even louder than any of the times he might have said those three little words back
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
mmg,, i might hiatus again,,,
I'd hate to do it, but there's no joy in crab posts as of right now, and also as of a long while ago.
Managing messages and responding to people in replies and being tagged and all the stuff in inbox is. a lot.
I never intended or expected crab blog to get this big, and it feels like such a chore to do at this point. Not that I dont like it, and not that I dont enjoy the fellow crab lovers, but it's certainly overwhelming.
That plus other socials and such that I manage and real life stuff is just. IDK, it's a lot. Usually, if I get to this point, I just drop off, maybe delete the account if I really can't stand it, but I'm definitely not going to do that here.
At the very least, I'm going to empty out the submissions that have been piling up, but after that, I'm not sure. I may not even get through all of those, I've already been relying on those for a long time at this point, and I think that's pretty obvious.
It feels like a hassle to deal with those anyways since most people don't even identify what type of crab it is that they submit, so I have to take the time to find it, which is usually not at all easy. There are so many posts that I've just had to guess what to tag it as because I just don't know, and there's no solid answer that I can find, at least not usually.
Which is also partially my fault, I've never said anything about it before, and I never specified it at an earlier time to make incoming ones less stressful to deal with, but even so I just. I don't know, I don't.
I don't know exactly when it'll happen, but it's the most likely thing to happen from here. I think I'll modify some stuff about how I handle the daily-crabbys blog to make it easier on me when I come back, but I'm not entirely sure what that'll be. I've never managed a successful daily posting account before, I haven't the slightest clue how to make it all easier on me.
Sorry that this has gotten so long, I didn't mean to rant. There's just so much that I feel like I need to say.
This isn't something coming out of nowhere, and it isn't going to be immediate. I've thought about wanting to do this for a while, and I know I did this already not too long ago, but I didn't really change anything for myself, so I'm just burnt out a lot faster.
Sorry again, both for the length of this and the fact that it's going to happen, but I've just got to make things better for myself before I carry on long term. I really just fucked myself over by not doing this the first time, but if I don't do something about it eventually then I'll just end up hating this blog too much to continue.
🦀💜
#not crab posting#heads up that this is quite a long post so in case you may not want to read it all(dont blame you) theres just a few things to know#firstly this isnt a random decision i made. ive thought about it for a while and dont think i was ready to come back in the first place#second is that it will not take place immediately! i dont want submissions to sit for too long so ill empty those out before i disappear#this includes a few that i wouldnt ordinarily post or have never found the right time to post. theyve just gotta go#third is that it is no ones fault. well thats not true. its mine. i didnt make changes i should have the first time i went on hiatus#im suffering severely from that now and have burnt out wayyy too fast. which is again no ones fault but mine#im going to change things to make it easier to handle. i need to if i want to keep this going for a long time which i very much do#i just cant when the thought of posting on here every day makes me so unhappy. im just too overwhelmed#im not sure what the changes will be just yet but they're going to be beneficial to me greatly
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
god i fucking hate my dad
#he came home today from a bike trip he went on and he's been arguing with me about honeybee the whole fucking day#he keeps saying just let her out let her run around! every time i put her in her pen to nap#and he refuses to stop her from biting him#and he got mad at her for playing with his socks when she'd just been playing with mine and he threw them on the floor of the living room#which first of all stop being such a fucking slob#and second of all what the fuck did you expect to happen? it's a soft new toy on the floor where she spends most of her time. where all her#toys are. very similar to the two soft items she's allowed to play with (my socks)#she's fucking 3 months old she doesn't understand the difference between my socks and his socks#and i keep telling him i know what im doing i was doing all the research while he went to buttfuck nowhere on his midlife crisis motorcycle#but he just wont fucking listen to me#and hes like oh youre at that age where you think youre right about everything and are so stubborn like fuck you actually#first of all im stubborn about this because its a living breathing puppy and his actions will affect her behaviour as an adult#and bc i know what im fucking doing. ive been an animal person my entire life. i did all the research. i did this exact same thing with#parrots for five years.#and hes like you cant just put her in her pen every time shes being a dog like no i fucking dont. i only put her in her pen when it's time#for a nap and she's getting overtired. you can't just let her run around until she collapses bc for one she never fucking will#second that's only going to make her energy threshold higher and then she'll be absolutely impossible to handle#and i told him that and that i read that on like every professional dog training source i read#and he said that might be true or might not be#like it fucking is bitch omfg#and then he tried to one up me like um i actually raised you guys for a long time i know what im doing#like a child is not a fucking dog. also my mom raised us lets be fucking serious. and look how well adjusted i turned out#and he told me to relax and calm down like i wasnt even arguing with him but i sure as hell will now#like dont tell me to fucking relax. when has telling anyone to relax ever made anything better. especially a teenager. especially a (for#simplicity's sake) woman.#and i told him dont tell me to relax and he got all pissy and stormed off#like literally fuck you#im my fathers daughter. im just as stubborn as he is.#rambles
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)
#my little hc i kinda showed in the refs but didn’t point out: cuphead’s handle appears broken/in human form his ear is halved#cause he has microtia (that also affects the eustachiantube/middle ear). basically i am a HoH cuphead truther#also to add onto that i think he has poor auditory processing issues cause i also see him as AuDHD#double also. while he would use ASL on a bad hearing day i think regularly he also uses home signs to express words/concepts#autism-related btw. it’s actually a bit visible in insert cuphead media (to me at least LOL) that cuphead expresses a lot of body language#so not liking conversation oral or signed as well as replacing oral words w home signs is in character. at least to my headcanon whatever#floats your boat!#OH! plus his split upper lip that i draw him with isn’t related to the microtia. he just roughhouses and chipped/tore his lip open when he#was younger#cuphead is also a trans boy. it feels right to me LOL#even back in 2017 when i barely knew the game or also much about trans people i saw cuphead and was like hm. hm!#tbh he just pawned his clothes onto mugman. who i’ve also changed my hc for i see him more as bigender than a cis boy now#LOL. i cast bi on mugman. sorry buddy#OH HIM TOO. im so sorry mugsy i have like two headcanons for you 😭😭😭#she uses he/she 2 me. i like casting personal parts of myself onto mugman even if i gravitate more towards cuphead/chalice#i see him as a bi ace as well. and a hopeless romantic. i don’t ship uhh i don’t remember what it’s called#i don’t ship cala maria X mugman (respect though) cause i see the cups as kids and i’m also a hilda X maria shipper LOL#but in the show. i will be real that she is a hopeless romantic. Look at that dork#FORGOT TO MENTION. i am a cuphead aroace truther to my grave. KEEP THAT MUSHY ROMANCE OUT OF MY HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE!!!!#like i said w cuphead before mugman is AuDHD (they share. many genes LMFAO)#however the difference is that they express it in different ways; while cuphead’s is more linked to his hearing/social behavior#mugman’s is more related to her emotions. i see it through my headcanon colored glasses that especially in the show mugman has more#meltdowns between the two cups#he has high emotional sensitivity both in positive and negative ways; former as in being strongly attached to cuphead and latter as in#more prone to meltdowns as well as being very literal#which isn’t a bad thing of course. mugman we are shaking hands so hard we are the same#OK that’s all the ones i want to share right now. i also haven’t shared her human or cup design i did but i’m workshopping chalice!!!!!!#i am leaving her out intentionally she deserves her own post because i luv her so much#ok post over. twenty minutes dedicated to autism about the twins out of the trio#cuphead
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel a little bad remembering how in my mother days there was this rly common perception of thinking 'well lucas would be so pessimistic after what happened and he would hate flint cuz he sucks and he would hate everything!!' and i would believe it just cuz i was still relearning a lot of things i didnt know if that was what i was supposed to think but it always felt like people who saw things this way wanted to force others to do too
#ur on ur complete right to think well he might be depressed after all that cuz that'd be natural#or to think he would feel weird about flint#it's just that some fans would take these things to the extreme and be rly mean about it#idk if thats still a thing#im glad i dont do that now and just create my own conclussions#i mean im always making happy art of one of the most suffered girls in the world(lisa) just becsause i wanna#and my opinions on lisa stuff are all my own#also on the same topic i rly do not forgive wess's ass but i'm fine with duster doing so#not to say you need to forgive your parent because theyre your parent and shit i think someone could live perfectly without doing so#but you also have to understand people who decide to forgive them#or decide to not fully leave them. treating them at a safe distance and stuff#fully distancing from a parent is maybe one of the hardest things in the world to do#idk maybe it's because i played lisa and have seen even worse parents#wess had his funny moments but anytime hes mean to duster i go grrr grrrrrr#especially because he caused duster's limp i think#anyway all this stuff is very abstract and everyone interprets it differently depending on what is in their heart and how they handle thing#no point in forcing anyone to think like u ok goodbye#going from liking mother and antagonizing flawed parents to liking lisa and going .hmm this guy is kinda dad coded. and the guy is horrible
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
////
#man i’m hosting a pity party for one here but i’ve had this stupid fucking cough for three weeks now !!!!#losing my mind !!!!#it started as some stupid tickle in my throat and a cold and now it’s like a full blown chest infection as of this week#im going to dig a hole in my garden and climb into it and remain there until i die or recover#otherwise i’m handling it all very well and with a rational mind#i’m the whiniest person on the planet right now i’m the wimpiest whiniest person ever but im so sick of how much mucous my body is producing#it just isn’t right
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
trying to get work done today is like. lets learn how to do inverse kinematics for my robot. whats the general form of the matrix again. does my mother deserve to suffer a period of me distancing myself from her. will i survive doing that. what order am i cascading these matrices in
#helpppppp im a bit numb and very lost#i want to leave really bad rn#but there are some things at my mums i need to get first#and i can't just run off without speaking to her#absolutely not doing this over the phone but i'm so exhausted from last night i can't stand another argument#don't want to cry anymore as well fjdbdjf my eyes hurt#dad's friend dug up a tree that was causing problems in the garden today#found a hibernating snake#they tried to put it somewhere safe#and i was thinking wow cool hope it survives . how do i love my mum now tho#it's like that's all there is !!! and ive got exams ripppp#seriously thinking of postponing this year and finishing it next year because idk how i'm going to handle it#when it gets any more stressful than it is right now#will at least apply for some kind of special considerations for these exams#maybe i can get my marks boosted but ive only known that to happen when family members die#but my dad could kill himself#that wasn't just an anxious irrational fear of mine#and idk i feel like that should qualify me for a bit of help#because how do i sit here and act like uni matters it DOESNT#<- is 3rd year engineering#lmao#i need someone here to say girl shut up and solve ur robots#.......... my mum? ha#i need to talk to her its new years eve i was going to stay with her tomorrow#if i don't tell her i know then she won't understand why i'm not replying but how tf do i word that message#i don't want to tell her to her face that i know#fuckkk i dont want to hurt her#i'm not even angry i'm just so sad and idk what to do to stop it
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyone wanna get emotional about collaborative art with me?
[Mirage 19 Story: E&L, Layout: Eastman, Pencils: Jim Lawson, Inks: Laird, Letters: Steve Lavigne]
ID from alt: Cropped section of the page annotations by Laird, (relevant) text: Page 18 is also the beginning of what I think of as "Brick hell" - Jim drew so many panels with hundreds of bricks in them, and I felt obliged to ink them all in. That was a LOT of bricks." Left is a panel showing Raph running down a curving brick tunnel, the wall is drawn with individual bricks, uncountable amounts of lines that illustrate the curvature.
If not, enjoy brick hell instead (I'll leave, just a doozy of a brick hell image at the end)
(this issue has beautiful layout paneling, which little snippets of could never replicate. great one to check out. imho)
come one come all to the worst barn party of the decade...
[IDS AND ALTS THE SAME]
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d4a42c92c3731795fa4bd17bc95069e7/f2b559e88f10eec5-fb/s540x810/49620619b1b1a8528662944d6045ac5dd8693ea3.jpg)
ID: Jones family barn interior. Mike and Don speaking to Raph (off panel). Mike, in an open gesture: Life is good here... It's given us time to heal, to accept what's happened. Leo's needed this time, too--. Don, by his work table, no mask, wearing an apron. More neutral: We're not the guardians of society, Raphael... we never were. END
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ab117cbf9e613ca4105068b241365d2/f2b559e88f10eec5-81/s540x810/cd401ee9b16d1a160fa9c7499b6b77ab334639c5.jpg)
ID: Three panels, Raph pushing Leo around, yelling at him. The background moves from uninked, to midtone, to dark tone, as they both get more angry. Raph: No-- You're hiding out here... scared to face facts... And you're dragging all of us down with you! Fun and games are over, Chump... Look at yourself! END
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/af3043ed02bbe5858034212ae09e76b5/f2b559e88f10eec5-c2/s540x810/85e66e99fcdd884f2f770d256fc5177a0b636bfa.jpg)
ID: Two panels, Raph looks down to a wooden sword Leo (off panel) has held up in his way. He looks at it, unimpressed. Then looks up, pissed off and says only "Mistake." END
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/785648c84bbf9c64473d77b17727de76/f2b559e88f10eec5-07/s540x810/a50097b09f84fc1b9a11d20209e7f91d61c0dc6b.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/93dcd2c07ad64ade34359da38f50ea4d/f2b559e88f10eec5-e7/s540x810/3574818d51e3a422c8dd81bfe73b231749606521.jpg)
1. Three panels, Leo in the forground, just his leg seen. Raph on the floor against a wall. He whips his chin, saying "You were always good, Leo...". Close up, spit hangs from his mouth, continues "... One of the best..." He stands and finishes "...Which makes life here even more of a crime."
2. Four panels, Leo has Raph in a choke hold, holding him from behind, they are on the floor. Sweaty and teeth grit with exhertion. Leo says "--Do you hear me?!" Raph starts throwing punches to Leo's head, just above his own. As each one land we close in on Leo's face. END
Well. Thats great. Ill eat my own heart out how abouts.
AND ANYWAY. My favourite favourite effect.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6888a125b0aaf76e74ddf80425739fa7/f2b559e88f10eec5-e7/s540x810/e552f1db1362f8414dc31dfab5aa5e3a3eb14fe6.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/34e102e1a0ca9184e0d2a962b17e27fe/f2b559e88f10eec5-a2/s540x810/c7ec48a5f101666020694438542e632926b46640.jpg)
ID: 1. Four panels, Leo, Mike and Don, run along a roof top, grab some fire escapes, and make their way to street level, skirting the edge of a street lamp's glow. The entire set is pen inked normally, and washed completely with the mid tone, save the small circle around the lamp, glowing white.
2. Large panel. Raph, 3 point lands, kicking up dust in the center of a spot lit section of sewer. The tail ends of a hood he wears trail up with the motion. Very little double-tone is used on the page, instead the shadow is communicated by increased hatch lines still following the shapes of every object in shot. END
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/684ecc3227914c92fd76582d4b48f02b/f2b559e88f10eec5-57/s640x960/7492a0d1ac449d99264d75ffc1ed6fa5e0ab5b9e.jpg)
ID: Raph sits in the tattered remains of the turtles lair, his brothers shadowed in the foreground. Raph, not very warmly says "Welcome Home." END
Okay okay. cry forever and every. please for the love of god. read comics. now. more brick hell
ID: Three panels, showing the entrance of a sewer tunnel into a larger area, closed and open pipes along the wall. The shot holds empty for two panels, then with the inclusion of Raph jumping out the exit in the third. If you are to look carefully. You can tell, though the scenery remains the same, in each, the intricate pen inked brick work and shadows have been done three separate times. END
LIKE. I KNOW ITS TRADITIONAL MEDIUM COMICS. But sir.... SIR? Another annotations from Laird specifically. Have mentioned using the copier to place certain things in backgrounds.... i just.... SIR?
#some shit#turbles...#one occassionally gets the impression that. laird is. ehm. a little particular about his work. Id say. well. its good work.#tags now refer to the contents within....#RAPH LEO FIGHT EVERYONE STOP THE PRESSES IMMA DIE....#ahhh. the blueprint. god. im ILL. fuck. this. don telling RAPH its not on them. thats. god thats a WHOLE OTHER. ouf.#and then. THE INTIMACY. of the violence. it KILLS THE MAN. thats. one hell of a fight scene. honestly. just. again. the over all pacing#of this issue. tuned to perfection. that is. some of the first time ive very felt panels come like blows. emotional ones.#like. NOT INCLUDED. but theres a moment thats. like down right scary? not horror scary just like. STRESS SCARY.#GENUINELY. feel sick. LOVE IT#i CANTTTT handle it. i love laird turtles inked by lawson but guess i ALSO love lawson turtles inked by laird.#idk. they so emotive and pretty naturalistic expression wise. also makes me think of sophie campbell though i could just be thinking about#the idw leo micro. cause. well. i want (issue) where (they) pass away. not because i hate them becauase i LOVE THEM.#wifi blogs mirage
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Was I supposed to be writing an outline for a dmmd fic tonight? No.
Am I writing an outline for a dmmd fic tonight? ....maybe
#i mean they gave me a childhood best friend covered in scars and tattoos amd who (one notable exception aside) is super focused on consent#what was i supoosed to do NOT fall in love with him?#just finished my first run through tonight and im blown away by the writing in this game#all id ever heard people say about it was that its very dark#if anyone has ever told me how well thise dark themes are handled i wouldnt have avoided it for so long#dmmd#kei's commentary#~k#anyway i am now a koujaku simp#that last scene was straight out of one of my own fics#hit so many of the right spots i was eating so well 🙏
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
now heres the thing is my rule is i have to live on my own for a year before im allowed to get a pet but also consider what if i had a little friend .
#in my heart i want a wawa so badly it hurts but alsoooo i worry quite a bit bc like. i work full time... so el wawa would be at home alone a#lot and one thing about the beautiful adorable majestic chihuahua is they have to pee every 3-4 hours. so i would have to have some way to#let them out OR keep them outside while im at work but another thing is 1. apartments dont generally have backyards#2. chihuahuas get cold very easily .... i could do some ssort of doggy daycare but i fear that would be expensive .... and i hate pee pads#and would prefer not 2 use them so i dont rly have much optionn 😭 but i want a chihuahua so badly.#but ALSO. a kitty cat.... i love cats i think theyre really quite sweetsies and also i think they could handle living in an apartment bette#esp since famously cats use the bathroom indoors. u may know.#so... i could potentially get a kitty..... but also i dont want to get one until im absolutely positive i could take good care of it and i#feel like i could esp now that ive got a system that works so well 4 motivating me to do my daily tasks yk. and also i think if i had my ow#apartment id feel a lot safer just like. being up and around the apartment so thatd be good... but also pets r expensive. but also the apt#i just applied to is rly quite cheap (like 1050 a month) its income restricted but i qualify by like a lot LMAO... n this would be perfect#bc 1050 is likee. not even a full paycheck i could pay rent with 1 paycheck and still have like 150 left over and then my other paycheck fo#the month is fully mine... so i could save up lots#+ wsg is included in the rent whichhh is insane. adn the apartment is cute and Trust . alarm bells were going off a bit bc i was like maybe#this is too good to be true we all remember the 800$ scam incident. but its a verified listing and i checked the propertymanagers and theyr#legit... its even got a washer and dryer IN UNIT and also a fitness center which is good bc i wanna try n start doing more cardio...#IT EVEN HAS A FIREPLACE i dont particularly need a fireplace but its cool 2 have one i could make smores right in my very own living room#AND ITS NOT A STUDIO its a 1 br...#grahhh i rly rly rly want ittt ik i prolly wont get it but :[
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
dude it is way too early for this, someone just told me to kill myself over something i literally dont know anything about
#'youre sending people to harass me!' i dont have the power to do anything let alone that + i havent thought about you in a long time#why would i bother#now im just curious who was even harassing them but they blocked me before i could ask#youre so classy telling me to kill myself and then blocking me before i can reply. very mature of you#this wasnt on tumblr btw idek if they have a tumblr and idc#if theyre stalking my social media thats just weird on their part#'i hope you stop burdening your family' well i hope you stop burdening yourself. you sound miserable and you always have. go to therapy.#stop hurting other people just to make yourself feel better even though all it does is give you temporary satisfaction and long term pain#fucking weirdo. we left our friendship on an argument because you NEVER let yourself be wrong even about things you knew nothing about#you wanna see me shit talking you publically? this is that i fucking guess#tell me i dont know anything about relationships because i only ever dated one person as if that person didnt leave me with trauma#that im still unpacking almost a decade later? fuck off.#at least im not marked red on shinigami eyes and have 'too right leaning for twitter to handle' in my twitter bio. thats fucking embarassing#fucking weird asshole. that entire friend group we were part of was ridiculous#the only person from there i EVER shit talked was someone else and they deserve it for being a pedo.#but i dont care to harass anyone because it does nothing for me#it only works to hurt me and im sick of being in pain. im sick of being miserable and lonely and stuck with memories of wrongdoing#i told you im in therapy and went back to school and that means im moving on and you decided that meant i should kms#fuck off. i hope you DONT kill yourself so you can come to the conclusion that you need to change for the better and work towards that goal#instead of being the same 'i can never be wrong!' ex-mean girl weirdo that led to me and everyone else dropping you as a friend#because all you did was make us mad with your behavior#and apparently not changing a single bit in the TWO WHOLE YEARS since i last saw you. grow up. we are both old enough to legally drink.#so grow the fuck up.#my post#ignore me#SERIOUSLY fucking ignore this post#vent#personal
0 notes
Text
is there any worse feeling than when you feel like someone is mad at you bc they literally are mad at you
#i came into the living room and my dad was yelling abt how he basically hates everyone in the whole family#bc nobody got around to reqding the latest chapter of his book yet#but he was really upset and mad#i get being hurt by that but it literally is not a personal rejection people are just busy idk#he didn't let on he was upset at all until he completely flipped out#now he doesn't want anyone to read it anymore#he's really hurt tho bc we all always read my mom's stuff#and my brother and i talk abt what we're writing together all the time#and i get there's a special kind of hoy sharing your writing with someone but only when they're really interested and engaged#unfortunately the two people most likely to care abt hia book are my two oldest brothers and they dont live w us#so they cant really give him that feedback#he did send hia chapters to them but they arent around to talk abt it and havent responded yet#basically nobody actually cares abt his book#he's been talking abt writing one for like ten years or more and only started in the past few months#its a zombie book and full of his really weird and controversial political and religious takes tho sp its a stressful read#i dont really agree w him on certain issues and we're ok abt it usually but it makes reading it more stressful#anyway#he's really upset tho#and he can only express unpleasant emotions through anger so i shut down and cant interact#and he specifically said he doesnt want people do do the thing he's so hurt that we didnt do#so there's no real way to set things right to alleviate my anxiety#he's a very difficult person to love with sometimes but he's really generous and has done a lot to help me#so i can live my dream and start a business and he's not really pressuring me abt my job seaech and rent and stuff#so it does make me feel guilty that i basically didn't care abt his book#it wouldnt be as bad if literally everyone in the family hadn't also done that#when he does to much for everyone#he's mad at everyone but im the only one having a panic attack and im the only one he didn't yell at#he's not handling his emotions well but neither do i so we usually just dont acknowledge things like this until everyone is over it#but i hate that i literally need conflict to be resolved immediately or i go insane
1 note
·
View note