#but as a starting point i also think its good to work with what we have and then grow from there

[thespianinthebackcorner]

I think part of the reason this narrow definition of "canon" is also part of why people are so incensed about other stuff that has degraded fandom culture nowadays too. Along with a lack of media literacy, people have begun to expect things served to them on a platter exactly as it says on the tin- but that's just not how art works. You cannot have a functional clock without the gears, and good art has a great many gears hidden beneath the surface. For a piece of media to operate at its full capacity and do what it is meant to- in this case, serve as queer representation- you cannot show every single gear in the clock, and often- especially in modern society, where it is still for some reason a dangerous struggle to have that queer representation included in mainstream media- sometimes it is better, necessary, to hide the gears and let the audience figure out the true nature of the clock and what makes it tick the way it does. It's a very recent phenomenon that media has begun to be blatant about their representation and allowed the characters to be obvious about who they are, and people are taking this openness for granted and not looking back to see how we got to this point.

This also means people don't learn to see what is and is not good representation, as when you learn the structure of the gears and how to spy the right kind of a clock, it becomes easier to find the gilded models made only for money and not out of love for the craft and the purpose. If you do not learn to find the "hidden" representation, the gears just below the surface, you cannot possibly learn to find everything below, all the mechanics that make the gears turn, the source of the energy- and, in turn, you cannot recognise a good, beautiful, clock deserving of your love and worth the time and effort made to make it, and you cannot learn to tell those from the cheap imitations made to trick people into buying half-broken clocks with no soul behind their creation, only greed. I myself, as of now, can often only find the mechanics of the upper layers, the more obvious things, and often have to be told what is and is not good representation by those who are more experienced. But it is a skill you must learn and hone, as the more you learn to recognise the maker's mark of a good clock, the more you learn to discard the fakers and push them to do better.

As artisans like I am, it is even more vital a skill, to recognise what you may be unconsciously putting into what you are crafting. I can create a few levels deeper than I can recognise, but analysis of your own work- and asking others to analyse it for you- is necessary to grow this skill so that not only do you avoid mixed messages, you can fight biases hidden further than you might be able to see at first. This is still something I need to learn and hone, too- I still have some internalised ableism, and I've had to come face-to-face with that as I write my first HMS fic (hence why chapter 2 is taking so long, sorry guys. I didn't know it was there until I started research for Heart). I have to learn to discard it and put the effort in to ensure I don't accidentally write that into the story as a subtextual message, and that isn't easy, but I'm learning. And so long as I keep learning, eventually I will overcome it and by nature learn to see and create even deeper into the gears of this clock I am just beginning to craft- and all the others I haven't started and haven't finished and haven't yet come across but will in the future.

I hope this analogy makes some sense.

Discussions of what "counts" as "canon" queer representation fall apart the second you start talking about media older than about five years or so. If your only metric for "canon queerness" is a character looking directly into the camera and explaining their identity in specific, modern, US-American-English terminology, you're not going to get a good picture of what queer media looks like. If your barometer for what counts as "canon" requires two characters of the same gender to kiss on-screen, you're not going to get a good picture of what queer media looks like.

Dr. Septimus Pretorius (portrayed by Ernest Thesiger in 1935's Bride of Frankenstein) was never going to look directly into the camera and explain his sexuality in 2024 terms, but he remains an icon in queer media history. You cannot look at that character (blatantly queer-coded in the manner of the time, played by a queer man in a film directed by another queer man) and tell me that he isn't a part of queer media history.

To be honest, even when discussing modern queer media, I would argue that the popular idea of what "counts" as "canon" is very narrow and flawed. I've seen multiple posts in the past few days that say the Nimona movie is "implied" trans representation, and I just...no, y'all, it's not "implied," it's an allegory. The entire damn movie is about transgender struggle, and the original comic is deeply tied into N.D. Stevenson's own queer journey. It isn't subtle. You cannot look at that movie and pretend that it isn't about trans struggle. It's blatant, and to say that Nimona "isn't canonically trans" is a take that misses the story's entire message, and the blatant queerphobia that almost kept the movie from happening. (I wrote a five thousand word essay about the topic.)

Queer themes, queer coding, queer exploration, and queer representation can all exist in a piece of media that doesn't seem to have "canon queer characters" on the surface. Most queer characters are never going to be able to explicitly state their specific identity labels, be it due to censorship or just due to the fact that scenes like that don't fit in some narratives. Some stories aren't conducive to a big "so what's your identity?" scene.

Explicit, undeniable, "this is my identity in no uncertain terms" scenes are very important and radical, and I'm not saying they shouldn't ever exist. I am saying that you can't consider those scenes the only way for queerness in a piece of media to be "canon."

[i-dared-myself]

Skirt War

Requested by anonymous: Could I req a fic with the stray kids' ninth member being put in a short dress/skirt (you know those that don't look like it'll ride up if you move but it does and its annoying af??) for a performance with a dance dance - that she has to move around a lot and then she keeps trying to pull the skirt down but that piece of shit just keeps going back up. And she spends the whole performance playing tug of war with a bunch of fabric trying not to be indecent and humiliated. And backstage she feels shit bc she couldn’t dance well and looked pathetic and she's disappointed and frustrated and embarrassed and yk. Idk if this is understandable anymore

“Wow, Felix,” you say, “you look really good! The stylists worked really hard with this new set of outfits.”

Felix hums his agreement, adjusting his gloves. “Where’s yours?”

You glance down at yourself. You’re still in your normal clothes. “Ah, they haven’t called me back yet. I think they’re finishing with Seungmin now.”

Felix makes a small sound of understanding, reaching up to touch his hair. He stops himself and drags his hand back down to his side. “Should I dye my hair soon?”

You shrug. “Do you want to? Is your hair even alive at this point?”

You hear someone softly call your name, and turn before you head Felix’s response. A staff member is waving you over as Seungmin and Jisung walk by.

“Looking good,” you compliment them, smiling brightly. You’re excited for what you’ll be wearing for the performance.

So you’re handed the set of clothes that you change into. You don’t even get a chance to look at yourself in a mirror before you’re whisked away for makeup and hair.

You eventually step out, joining the others. It seems as if everyone else has finished with their own styling, and everyone looks great.

There’s one tiny little problem, though.

Your tiny little skirt.

Your shirt is amazing, and you can’t disagree with the fact that you look hot in it. But the skirt is as small as they get. You’re amazed that you’re even allowed to wear it.

You’re fairly certain it’ll stay in place during thr performance, but you really don’t want to take chances. So you do an experimental twirl, heart sinking when the skirt instantly flies up.

Hyunjin recoils when he sees you. “What the-“

“Watch it!” Chan warns, narrowing his eyes. He faces you, eyes widening. “Oh. Oh boy.”

You tug the material down, fiddling with it anxiously. “Is it that bad?”

Jeongin is averting his eyes, which does absolutely nothing to make you feel better. “Nope. It’s totally fine.”

“Did they ask you about this?” Minho frowns deeply, glancing out at the crowd between the curtains. The sound check is almost complete, so you’re running out of time to deal with this.

“No. I wasn’t aware that I’d be wearing this.” Your hands tremble. You feel sick with how short it is. You half believe you’re at risk of your most intimate areas just being on display.

Seungmin grunts a little. “Want my sweater? To tie around your waist?”

You consider it for a moment before shaking your head. “Maybe later. I don’t want it to look like I’m disrespecting the stylists.”

“But it’s fine!” Jisung assures you. “These aren’t our usual stylists, and they don’t know our boundaries.”

“But we also don’t want to start something with this event,” you point out. They stylists had come with the gig, and you didn’t want to disrespect them if you didn’t usually work with them. It might ruin any other opportunities.

“Positions, everyone,” Chan suddenly says. He gives you a pitying look as everyone files into their assigned places. “You’ve got this.”

You’re not as confident as he is, but you force a smile. You tug the skirt down one last time before bounding out onto stage.

The music starts up and you begin to dance. Every movement that involves legs (pretty much all of them) has the skirt flipping up. Felix is behind you for the beginning, and when you catch a glance of his face it’s bright red.

You miss a hand gesture because you’re adjusting the fabric again, and your stomach tumbles. The media is going to have a field day with this. Everyone is going to be talking about how unprofessional you are.

Positions are swapped, and then you’re next to Changbin. He turns his gaze away to be respectful, but it just reinforces the idea in your head that the outfit is bad. That you’re indecent.

You blink back tears as you stumble over yet another move, too busy holding the skirt down to make it to the next spot in time. You’re falling behind, mind focused on your decency and not the dance.

Then your lines come, and your voice cracks. You’re lucky enough that you don’t have to hold your microphone up, because you honestly don’t have a spare hand.

It comes to an end, and you all bow. You walk off stage, perhaps the most humiliated that you’ve ever been.

Changbin loops his arms around you, tying his sweater around your waist. You mutter your thanks and wrench your headset off. 

“Hey.” Chan gently grabs your arm and steers you back to the group. “Let’s talk about it.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You keep your head ducked, gaze locked on the floor. Your throat burns and you’re struggling not to cry.

Jeongin comes up behind you and rests his chin on your shoulder. “I think you did great.”

You shove him away. “Well I didn’t! I sucked because of this stupid skirt! I let it get in my head, and now everyone’s going to be talking about it!”

Minho sits on the ground and takes your hands in his. He gently pulls you down to his lap and lets your cry against his chest. “Yeah, it wasn’t your greatest performance.”

“How is that supposed to help?” Jisung hisses out.

“But Stay loves you no matter what. And if they don’t, they can go suck it.” Minho strokes your hair. 

Chan clears his throat. “I might not have said it in those exact words, but he’s right. And from now on, I’ll make it clear to our managers and staff about our boundaries. Including those that we work with for the first time.”

You hiccup between tears, burying your face further against Minho. “Really?”

Chan hums. “Absolutely. And we have time to change before our next song, so why don’t you go to the stylists again?”

You sniffle and push yourself out of Minho’s grip. Seungmin gives you a reassuring smile as you wander off.

“Excuse me?” you hesitantly say as you approach one of the stylists. “Would it be okay if I got a different skirt? Or maybe some pants?”

He tilts his head, nose wrinkling. “Why? Is there a problem with it?”

“Uh, it’s just that-“ You toy with the material as you try and find the correct words. You don’t want to insult the man. “Dancing in this is very difficult. I don’t feel comfortable in this.”

He smiles mockingly. “Oh, really? Well it’s fine. It’s not even that short.”

“I just danced in it and it didn’t go that well.” You’re aware that you’re running out of time. You need to hurry up. “Can you please just direct me to-“

“Have you considered that maybe it’s just your skill?” he interrupts. He sighs and shakes his head, turning away. “But fine. I could find something else.”

You swallow thickly as you follow him.

Is it actually your own fault? Are you just not a talented enough dancer for these clothes? 

“Is this good enough for you?” The stylist holds up a new set of bottoms, and you wince. It’s even smaller than the one you’re currently wearing.

“Ready yet?” Jisung comes sliding in, eyes widening at the skirt being held up. “Wow, that’s small.”

“Uh, almost,” you weakly tell him.

Jisung’s eyes catch on your face and trembling bottom lip. His arms shoot out to wrap around you, and he pats your back. “It’s okay!”

“Are you wearing this or not?” the stylist snaps. 

“No, she’s not.” Jisung tightens Changbin’s sweater on your waist. “She’s wearing this and we have to go now, since we’re on in less than a minute. But I’ll be telling Bang Chan about you.”

The man pales. Having an idol complain about you was pretty much a death sentence, especially when that idol had as much influence as Stray Kids.

Jisung grabs your hand you the two of you dash out onto stage. You burst out and join the rest of the members, just in time for the music to begin.

This time it goes smoother. The sweater gives enough weight to keep the skirt down, and you’re able to focus on the dance. Your movements are fluid and well-executed, and you know even Hyunjin would be proud.

When you go backstage, you feel mildly more confident. You take a swig of your water bottle as Jisung tells Chan about the stylist.

Jeongin huffs, overhearing the conversation. “What an asshole.”

Seungmin hums his agreement. “A real dick.”

Chan holds up his hands. “Let’s watch the language, everyone. We’re professionals at work.”

Changbin snorts. “Right. If he’s a professional, why did he basically humiliate her?”

Felix hooks an arm over your shoulder. “It’s okay, I bet Minho will screw up soon and everyone will forget about today.”

Minho makes a sound of protest, narrowing his eyes. “Why me?”

Hyunjin wipes the sweat off his forehead. “Relax, it’s just an example.”

Chan calls the stylist over, who appears vaguely nauseated as he steps closer. He bows briefly to Chan before his eyes flick to you for a fraction of a second.

“I heard you had a bit of an issue with one of my members?” Chan blandly asks. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this angry. “Were you the one who put her in that skirt? Were you planning for her to humiliate herself and get kicked out of the industry?”

“Yeah!” Jisung cries out. He’s immediately silenced by Minho.

“S-Sorry,” the man mutters. “I just- I’m sorry.”

“No, no, continue.” Chan arches an eyebrow challengingly. “You just what?”

“Bet he just wanted to see her in it,” Seungmin drawls. “Is that it?”

A bead of sweat rolls down the stylist’s forehead. “Well- It wasn’t that short!”

“Would you feel comfortable wearing it?” Felix chimes in. “Because I thought it was pretty short.”

“Guys,” you say. “Let’s just go home. I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”

“Poor thing.” Hyunjin pats your head. “Wanna eat a whole bunch of ice cream with me?”

“Maybe,” you slyly say, walking with him to the van. You ignore the sounds of Chan still scolding the man. 

“If you ever need my sweater again, just ask.” Changbin comes up from behind you to poke at the fabric of the borrowed clothes. 

“Are we just stealing these?” Jeongin questions once everyone is in the van. Everyone is also still in the performance clothing. 

Chan frowns. “Oops.”

Taglist:

@velvetmoonlght @jinnie-ret

[lisenberry]

We drift in and out

(Epilogue) Ch. 4: If someone asks, this is where I'll be

3k/E/NSFW

Talk of pregnancy/injuries/hospitals (but also a ton of domestic fluff).

A welcome home for John.

(How it started...) (AO3)

You ended up picking a ring that belonged to his great-grandmother, and had it resized just in time for his release from the hospital.

Severe internal bleeding from multiple puncture wounds and two separate points of blunt force trauma, five broken ribs, a fracture in his spine, a grade three concussion, and a blown out right knee.  Two agonizing weeks in intensive care before they could even fly him back home.  Six more at King Edward VII’s Hospital for veterans.

It was strange being on the other side of things.  With him in the hospital bed, arguing with the nurses and staff, and you the one adjusting his pillow and fetching a refill on his water and ice chips.

But you were grateful to see him recover at a quicker rate than any of the doctors had anticipated.  They clearly didn’t know John, because by mid-January, he was walking with the help of a cane and sitting back on your couch.  Watching the weekly match and defying their orders not to lift anything heavier than five kilos.

Each time he hoisted the baby up into the air, you worried that he’d somehow fall apart.  Rip himself open again.  Only to remember that of all the things he had endured, the weight of your child on his chest wouldn’t be what took him from you.

That nothing would, ever again.

He was retired.  A decommissioned weapon of warfare that would spend the rest of its days warm and dry and protected in a museum, telling its stories and keeping its secrets.  And if they tried to bring him back in again, you’d just have to bash in his other knee. 

Simple as that.

“While I admire your conviction, love, it won’t come to that.  I promise,” he’d vowed with a deep chuckle, and dropped a scratchy kiss to your temple when you’d told him as much.

The rest of the team had a laugh over it, as well.  Sergeant Garrick even offered to do it for you, if necessary.  Which sparked a grisly conversation between him and Sergeant MacTavish about the correct pressure and angle with which to get the job done, and whether or not they’d need Lieutenant Riley to help hold him down.

“Gladly,” had been the quiet man’s only reply.  Made even slightly more unnerving because your drooling, teething baby had his finger clenched tightly between her sharp little teeth.  And he didn't seem bothered at all.

She must’ve seen something interesting in him as well, perhaps in the way he didn’t flinch or pull away with an exaggerated yelp like her mum did.  It brought an adorable crease of concentration to her tiny brow, followed by a wide, cheeky grin as she realized she’d met her match. 

“It’s good luck when a baby smiles at you, L.T.,” Johnny teased around the mouth of his beer, quickly turning to the telly to avoid the annoyed look he knew would come.

“She can’t go around biting people,” you admonished, rolling your eyes with a huff as you set the table.

“Only the dodgy ones,” Kyle piped up from his end of the couch as he rose to have his turn of holding her, avoiding any potential for bloodshed.

You’d kept your promise to meet his team again under different circumstances, and you’d invited them to your flat for a Welcome Home party to watch the match.  It had been too cold to grill on his outside deck, so instead you made a small feast of chicken marsala, mashed potatoes and green beans.  Crusty bread rolls and a brightly colored salad.

You hoped they weren’t too picky, but if they were anything like John, they’d eat burnt shit on a shingle if it was hot, so you tried not to overthink it.  When you’d been working full time, you didn’t have much energy to think about cooking, but in the months since your maternity leave, you’d come to enjoy it.

Not knowing what to expect of your guests, you’d been surprised to see that none of them had arrived empty-handed.  Kyle brought a case of beer and a bottle of wine.  Johnny brought a sweet bouquet of flowers and a dessert trifle that he swore looked more labor intensive than it was.

“My mam’s old trick for impressing the lasses.  Didn’t have to cook a thing,” he’d pronounced with a lazy wink.

And Simon, well, he’d brought a party-sized bag of prawn crisps. 

You almost wept at the thoughtfulness, for reasons you couldn’t explain.  Maybe it was because they’d all had a hand in bringing him home to you.  That they’d shown him such deference and respect.

Love.

You’d once lamented that he had no one except you, but you were wrong.  He’d always been in good hands.  All that was missing was Kate, who’d declined your invitation with a sweet note and a promise to catch up another time. 

Maybe there was some lingering animosity over the way the mission went down, or maybe it was that she preferred to keep things on a professional level.  Her power over the team hinging on keeping herself separate.  An omnipotent voice in their ear more than a friend at their side.

“I half-expected to see the missus knocked up again, Captain.  What are you waiting for?”  MacTavish pivoted from instigating his lieutenant to his captain with the same puckish fortitude.

A scandalized snort escaped as you turned to gauge John’s reaction.  Sure enough, a rosy blush crept up under his beard.  His cerulean eyes evolved from crinkled with amusement to panicked in a heartbeat.  Like he’d been found out.

As before, he’d come back a little different.  Changed in subtle ways, beyond the physical.  You sometimes thought of him as a planet, circling steadily on some unending course.  A force to be certain, but not invulnerable.  Weathered and scarred by tiny evolutions that shifted him imperceptibly off axis along the way. 

Perhaps the weeks of torture he didn’t talk about affected his capacity to keep his desires so close to his chest.  What you had once thought of as his poker face, you now wondered if he’d start wearing everything so readily upon his features.

You took pity on both him and MacTavish, whose smile had faded in fear he’d hit a nerve.

“Not for want of trying, Johnny,” you corrected him mockingly.  “But one of us has to work around here, and my leave’s nearly up.”

“And without her work, he’d still be at the bottom of a bunker,” Kyle defended you with a nod.

“You’re right, carry on then.  Maybe it’s L.T.’s turn to catch the baby fever.”

He just couldn’t help himself it seemed, and you quickly turned back to the kitchen before all hell could break loose.

You needn’t have worried about dinner.  It was promptly and heartily devoured among a raucous round of conversation.  Not a green bean or a cherry tomato was spared.  Plates were all but licked clean of the rich, mushroom sauce you’d always been intimidated to make before.  Butter, shallots, flour and wine.  Salt and pepper. 

How could anything so simple taste so good?

As the evening wore on, there was a palpable sense of relief in the air.  An easiness that had you feeling like you were with family, but not like the family you’d known.  It was the kind you’d only heard about, never pictured for yourself.  One where you could laugh with food in your mouth or call someone an asshole without hurting anyone’s feelings.

Maybe it wasn’t just a welcome home party for him.  You were safe in this place with your baby, John and these men you didn’t even know.  You, who had grown so comfortable being alone and resigned yourself to that fate, were home, too.  Whatever had happened before, and whatever could possibly come, posed no threat in that moment.  For any of you.

It brought out an easiness in John as well, a bit of pride that his small circle of people had gotten along so well.  Until you’d tried to hide your first yawn, and then he gave the silent command for his team to take their leave. 

It was a marvel, really.  One short, audible sigh and a stretch of his wide shoulders and they were all on their feet, thanking you for the meal and excusing themselves with all the polite formalities of a table of boys at Sunday dinner.

When you were alone, the excitement of the day faded slowly from your bones, but the contented smile remained snuggly fastened across your face. 

“I hope those muppets weren’t too much.  I warned them to behave.”  He emptied the last of his beer down his throat as he pushed the door closed behind them.  

“You wouldn’t remember, being so heavily sedated at the time, but we got a long quite well at King Edward’s.  They’re good lads.”

“MacTavish can be...colorful.”  He gave a short smirk when he found the right word for his sergeant’s sense of humor, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Just wanted to get a rise out of you, is all.  I don’t think he meant anything by it.”

“Hate to disappoint the lad, but after five years of not exactly being careful, it’s not hard to see that maybe it’s just me that can’t—”  You shushed him with a gentle finger to his lips before he could go any further.  Stunned at his admission and wanting to stop it before any more of his insecurities spilled out so freely.

You’d silence them all.

Was that why you hadn’t had sex since his deployment, aside from a few hurried hand jobs and quiet blow jobs from underneath his hospital gown?  He’d been sure to take care of you in other ways once he’d gotten home, but had stopped short of filling you up and taking you in the way he had before he left.

When he’d pounded so restlessly, and relentlessly, you wondered if he was trying to burrow himself inside you.  To leave something of himself irrevocably behind.  Was he disappointed to learn he hadn’t, when it had come so easily to someone else?

You’d chocked his restraint up to his injuries, and were glad to see him taking it slow and not pushing himself.  You hadn’t stopped to think that he may have been still holding you just a little out of reach.  That he hadn’t fully given himself up to the idea that you were his, despite what his letters had said.

There was no room for that now.  Easy and casual went out the window the day your daughter was born.  His daughter, no matter how she’d been conceived.  In every way that did matter.  And in the days and months that followed when he saw you at your worst.  He hadn’t let you go then, and you weren’t going to let him pull away from you now.

“Well, the only way to know for sure is to stop being careless.  And start trying.”  Your arms slid around his neck and pulled him down to you. 

“Is that what you want, darling?” 

“I want you to know that you’re not broken, and you never could be.”

“How do you know?”

“I didn’t tell you?  I thought you knew.”  You pulled away with confusion, focusing instead on the buttons of his shirt. 

“What?”

“I’m psychic,” you boasted as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “I’ve seen the future.” 

“Have you now?”  At least the indulgent twinkle in his eyes replaced the bleakness you never wanted to see again.

He was allowed to come back different, but he was never going to be anything but your John. 

“You’re going to need glasses soon. And you’re going to buy four pairs of the cheapest ones you can find because you’re going to forget them everywhere.” 

“You’ve just been talking to my doctor is all.”  A playful hitch at the corner of his mustache brought him further out of his mood.

“And no matter how many children we have, they’re going to be horribly embarrassed by us.”

Once his shirt lay discarded at your feet, you went to work on his belt and trousers.

“Eww, Mum’s snogging Dad again.  They’re just the worst,” you mimic the disgusted voice of your potential progeny.  “And you’ll just laugh and kiss me harder.  Show them how much you love their mother.”

“What else?”  He stopped your forward progress on his wardrobe to hold your hands in his.

“We’re going to take a lot of vacations.  Show them the whole world, all the good people worth saving.  The beauty worth living for.  And the road trips to the country are going to take twice as long as they should because you'll have to stop to pee at least twice an hour, and I’m going to take an annoying amount of photos—”

He did shut you up then with a kiss, finally, as he pulled you both to the floor.

“Not the floor, your poor back!”  You attempted to protest, but he was moving quicker than you’d seen in months and held you tightly across his chest.

“It’s never too sore to please my wife.  Give this old man some credit.”  He sat you up with his back against the

“You’ll let me know if it hurts, won’t you?  I know how you like to be brave.”  You kissed the side of his neck, trailing to suckle along his ear.

Repeated the words he’d said to you, not so long ago.

When he smiled, you felt it in his jaw just before you sat up straight to notch yourself above him.  He propped himself up on a forearm behind his head, content to sit back and watch as you set your skirt aside and sunk down to meet him. 

“I’ve always told my men if they wake up to this, in the warm, silky,” his voice caught briefly on a breathless shudder, “grip of someone who’d fight the world for them, then to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.  Because they’re already dead.”

“You’re not dead.  You’re right here.”

You clutched him with your walls, as if to reinforce your position.  And he somehow hardened even more in deep gratitude, bucking back at you as if to test the veracity of your resolve.

“Fucking heaven,” he groaned just before he pivoted and pinned you beneath him with the thick thighs you were worried had lost too much size in the hospital.

That you worked tirelessly to fatten up with signs of life.  Signs of love.  They spread yours out wide, to prove you wrong for ever thinking he’d lost any of his fight.

“There you are.  Welcome home, John.”

*****

You were married on a lovely Friday afternoon in February.  Valentine’s Day, to be specific, in a small civil ceremony at the local register’s office.  John looked dashing in his classic black suit, and you were radiant in a simple dress you splurged on.  The cut and color flattering the curves that had made themselves a permanent part of you. 

It was a day just for the two of you, and you celebrated with dinner at The Midland, with three very enthusiastic babysitters keeping the little one occupied at home.

You only received two panicked phone calls throughout the night.  One minor emergency from Gaz regarding a particularly messy diaper and one sincere apology from Soap for knocking over a bottle of your hard-earned breastmilk down the sink while trying to heat it up.   You assured them that they sounded like it was all under control, and you had plenty of fresh nappies and milk reserves in case they needed more. 

There was no dancing the night away, but you still managed to stay out until the wee hours of the morning, catching an early breakfast and the sunrise along the Thames.   You returned home, tip-toeing down the hallway with your shoes in your hands.  You had every intention of continuing the festivities in his apartment, but instead you both silently agreed to poke your heads into yours to check on the lads.

It was Ghost who surprised you the most, although it shouldn’t have.  You found him sitting upright in your armchair, with the baby asleep in the crook of his arm.

“Have you been up all night?” you whispered, as his eyes flickered up from the book he was reading, despite having lost his audience to dreamland.  Something about rabbits and foxes making friends.

“She’s a quiet little thing, isn’t she?” John intoned knowingly down to his lieutenant.

“Wake her up and I’ll kill you both,” was his only reply, but a slight smile pulled at his scarred lips.

*****

By the spring, you were back at work.  A whole year had passed since your world had changed so completely.  It was easier to leave them behind each day, knowing they had each other to keep company.  That they were both in good hands.  He even made you lunches in the morning and had dinner on the stove when you came home. 

You stopped for a coffee at your old favorite shop on the way to the office and reacquainted yourself with the new faces at the security desk.  Stretched old muscles of socialization and got up to speed on the latest workplace gossip.

On lazy Sunday mornings, John shared his cigar on the outside deck as you made your meal plan for the week, and you picnicked in the park on Saturdays while the baby practiced walking on her chubby, strong little legs.

John made time to get to the gym, not so much to stay in fighting shape, but to keep up with his ‘ravenous wife’, and his ‘beastly moppet’.  His words, not yours. 

And as the summer flowed into fall, change would come yet again.  But it didn’t scare you any longer.  It was all just endings and beginnings.  Beginnings and ends.

You slipped your work bag over your shoulder and paused to give your husband a kiss that would last all day.  The slow, warm, savoring kind that left a trail behind. 

“What was that for?” he asked, eyebrows nearly up to his hairline. 

“You said you were sorry once, for missing out on everything.  Remember?” you continued only when he nodded, solemnly, not really seeing where you were going with it.  “Well, everything is about to get a lot more interesting.”

You held up the white and purple stick that you’d been hiding in your pocket.  It was the third you’d taken over the last two weeks.  You wanted to be sure before you told him, knowing how much it meant to him.

Everything you had prophesized came true, in its own time, as you knew it would.

...And you were sure to take an obnoxious amount of photos.

[volvolts]

Wanted to run this by you since you keep your own writing very grounded in the text.

What do you think of AUs that take Philip's self-centeredness and reverse it? As in run it in the opposite direction, from Genocidal Bigot towards Guilt-Paralyzed Loner? Do you think there's a right and wrong way to do such AUs? Does it sound like a realistic departure from canon to you?

i dont remember if i ever saw one in a long time (i think defanged belos was only one that comes to mind that's similar rn). i actually haven't seen a lot of au philip stuff like this (i honestly struggle starting a lot of things i've been meaning to get into and also sometimes its hard to find lol). plus writing a guilt ridden character (especially as a main character) is hard since there's a fine line between reading about someone's guilt and just hearing someone wangsting and feeling sorry for themselves. it can get annoying real fast. i also can't properly imagine the right "turning point" for him.

honestly i'm willing to accept breaks from canon if it's fairly minor "quality of life" moments and his turn is believable within the confines of its story ya know? generally i dont think there's a right or wrong way to make this work and if i dont like it it's usually because it goes against my personal takes on the show and not because of "quality" if that makes sense?

though any belos turning good stories im very picky about who they villainize and how they do it. its hard to explain but i feel like if they try to make kikimora worse than belos then i'm not that into it. i think if its feels like the author singled out a character to make them the bad guy because they dont like them, or at least they just like belos more and need a scapegoat if that makes sense? i dont really find this one a lot in this fandom so we're pretty good there tho

as for one that follows canon? i remember a post i saw a while back (i think it was from @/levshany?? i dont remember) where they said a "canon compliant" belos realizing he was wrong and giving up is next to impossible because he would try to die due to the guilt and we would never have the plot.

for something like this to be "canon realistic", this would be my idea of it

(talk of suicide under the read more)

an evil to guilt pipeline belos would be one where he just tries to die. if we want him to live until luz's time then we would have an "immortal who wants to die" situation. he's far enough where it's hard to die easily but not far enough where he's the emperor or anything. and i firmly believe that he would still be the villain

we need to also keep in mind he's still being self centered. he may feel remorseful for his actions but he's so caught up in his punishment and "what he deserves" he doesn't realize that there has to be other avenues to take because this idea clearly isn't working. if we go the loner route, he's a cryptid the witches spread around because they have no clue what he is, he's a lone man who will do any favors you ask but in return you must try to kill him, if you fail he'll end your life instead. he's forgotten caleb and his own hatred for the witches. he only remembers his guilt and his need to die and his anger and self hatred that he can't. he doesn't even remember his why anymore.

if he has the collector, i can see a route where he tries to find a titan to free him. their exchange is this: philip frees the collector and in exchange, the collector either kills or imprisons him as a doll along with everyone else (meanwhile philip is just unconscious and in his own head and no longer feeling anything anymore also i dont remember if luz's dream as a doll was the exception or the rule or only happening when the collector brings you out to play with)

philip is trying so hard to die that he does not care who is going down with him. instead of being a genocidal bigoted maniac, he's more like someone that needs to be put down because he has no idea where to start "redeeming" himself. he would be frustrating and pitiful to watch as he self sabotages and descends further into darkness. he made himself irredeemable because he believed he didn't deserve it.

the problem then would just be this is a complete departure of what the owl house is. forgiveness and redemption isn't that big a theme in toh thats for certain. their themes is self acceptance and expression, among other things. weirdos stick together and all that. this could technically be paralleled to luz's guilt but personally im one of the people who found luz's guilt sudden and also completely unfounded (like she didn't know, plus her helping someone only to make things worse by trusting the wrong person was never treated like a major flaw of hers before. it was something she did but it was never presented as something she needed to fix ya now?)

(but im kinda just rambling at the end here though. obviously fanfic, or any media tbh, is not obligated to teach you a lesson or reflect themes. i dont go into someones au and expect a dissertation. i just hope the author is having fun and other people are too)

[cutekittenlady]

Also, for the love of god, WRITE STUFF DOWN.

Go out and buy a decent notebook and begin keeping a nightly journal. A digital journal could work but I recommend a physical diary as its, in a way, more private and can't be easily deleted remotely or by accident while clearing your computer stash.

I recommend this because we NEED to keep personal records of our experiences and whats happened to us and our communities. Most importantly write how you feel and how you think.

Make no mistake there WILL be history books. This moment in time will be researched in the decades to come and the stuff we write down, the art we create, the things we care about and what is important to us, will be vital in helping to preserve just how reviled this administration and its policies were in the times they happened.

Furthermore don't just doomscroll through the news. Stay as informed as you can, but try not to let it consume you.

Study history; not just the third reich, but the fall of rome and other times things seemed to be coming to an "end" and take heart in the knowledge that their was an "afterwards". They're may have been the dark ages, but there was also the enlightenment after all.

And study art! So much art. Make some yourself if you can. It doesnt have to be good. It can be crude. Silly little stick figures and doodles, but let yourself create things. Bake things that come out a little wrong. Knit scarves that are frayed. Paint something silly and amateurish.

Look up philosophy to help you come to terms with the things going on in the world right now and maybe even find ways to combat it.

Support your local library in anyway you can. Such places are VITAL to the coming years and will be essential in keeping ourselves informed and active and help us organize.

Importanly look after yourself and your community. Not just their safety but their health. Organize food drives, swap groceries, start a personal garden, etc. Help share what healthcare resources you can find, point people towards areas of safety and support, learn mend your old clothes and give them away when needed.

Building a base of relative safety and healthy support is going to be vital in the upcoming years and every little bit helps.

[rmbunnie]

Something kinda tasteless about the way that alongside the concerns of "Batman needs someone to rein in his aggression/edginess" (mostly a meta concern,) "Robin is a symbol of undying hope right alongside Batman, Superman, and the police system," and "now that the thought's crossed my mind I think being Robin would be pretty sweet actually," one of Tim's points for why he should be Robin at the end of A Lonely Place of Dying is "we need to show the criminals of Gotham that they can't just kill Robin and expect to get away with it!" Because. They can. That's exactly what happened.

Using that line of reasoning, Tim makes the claim that the idea of Jaybin's life as disposable and inconsequential is heinous and bad, his killing something impermissible, but instead of disproving said idea they allow it to become true and devote their energy to making sure it doesn't become widely known as such. By covering his death up, they actually are permitting his murder to go unaddressed and deeming it acceptable, even taking away the opportunity for it to be consequential to anyone outside of Bruce's inner circle by not spreading the news. As much as we say "oh Bruce was a great dad because losing Jason crushed him" and "he almost considered trying to kill the Joker one time," he in all tangible areas did not do anything about Jason's death. Setting aside the question of killing the Joker or not, it's still shown in Batman Year 3 that Bruce's reaction to Jason's death in the time til Tim showed up was to hide away everything Jason owned and carry on with business as usual, a little angrier. Bruce didn't make any changes or actually evaluate anything in a significant way after the warehouse and Jason's death didn't warrant any tangible consequence, that's evident from reading the comic. I know some may disagree, and I acknowledge the room for interpretation, but in order to discuss Tim's reason we have to concede that it is explicitly written into this specific comic as something Bruce and Tim both recognize as fact, because it serves as the foundation that this reason is built on: there is good reason for the criminals to believe there would no punishment for killing Robin based on the actions Bruce did or didn't take in response. The concern about the public realizing there are no consequences for killing Robin wouldn't be reasonable if it wasn't true, if there actually were.

While they recognize that Jason's death came to pass largely without consequence, the fact itself is less of an issue to both Bruce and Tim than letting criminals actually find out that it doesn't have consequence. They know it's unjust, the notion that Jason can be killed without repercussion (and in making an effort to minimize his murder confirm it to be true,) but their concern isn't for what actually happened to Jason or the lack of proper response. At least on the vigilante side of things, the problem is public perception and continuing to uphold an image of Batman as just and diligent while permitting him to ignore injustice against those close to him. There's no efforts taken to actually disprove the idea that killing Robin would lack impact, what Tim proposes is just making it harder to prove right.

I think the best way to word what comes across tasteless for me here (aside from the side commentary on the unstoppable might of the institution of police and how it's an exemplar of heroism) is that beyond Tim's victim-blaming of Jason during his stint as Robin, (discussed in more depth by people who can word it better than me,) in the base text of a Lonely Place of Dying, it is foundational to the initial premise of Tim as Robin that part of his motive for being Robin hinges on accepting what happened to Jason as something that cannot be allowed in their pursuit of justice or go unaddressed for reasons completely unrelated to the actual harm, and then intentionally erasing the event and the way in which it was allowed and did go unaddressed. No matter how much it's claimed in later comics that Bruce was faultless and Jason doomed himself, Tim's Robin came to be at least in part (in-universe) as a cover-up for the lack of action taken about Jason's death, and by extension as an effort to overwrite his time as Robin and an individual entirely. And thought it wasn't the way his character viewed it, Tim wasn't passively complicit in it or going along with a poor grieving man, the intentional and deliberate erasure of Jason as a murder victim and the injustice of his posthumous treatment was part of his opening pitch.

[insomnya777]

joel etho single dads au .........

[torchickentacos]

The pokemon anime subreddit fascinates and frustrates me on equally deep levels

[elminx]

As we ease our way into February

Lol. Just kidding. February is a lot. We just need to understand that out of the gates. This is the big ramp-up for March, which includes two personal planet retrogrades (Mercury AND Venus) and eclipse season. The energy is going to start rolling downhill, and we are going to either need to keep up or get the fuck out of the way.

Today is a banger that involves all three of our personal planets. Mercury in Aquarius trines retrograde Jupiter in Gemini, which is overall positive - a good day to work on your words, whatever that means to you. But relationships of all kinds will be rocky at best, with Venus conjunct to our North Node at 29° Pisces and retrograde Mars in Cancer Square to Chiron in Aries.

Someone (probably a lot of someones) is hurting today, and this is the result of a course of action that was put into place some time ago. Today may be a cosmic reminder for many people that actions have very real consequences that echo out into our futures. Yeah, consequences don't HAVE to be bad, but this time around, it really looks like they are. If it's not about your Others, work on not taking it out on them because we are knee-deep in breakup season, and there isn't much forgiveness to go around.

It's worth noting that both Venus and Mars are in their retrograde cycles, so we will see these same aspects again - Venus twice more as she retrogrades back over the North Node and then passes it a third time in forward motion, and Mars as he moves forward after his retrograde.

Still, tomorrow is a new day, and we will care a lot less as Venus enters Aries - the sign of her exile - on Tuesday. In Aries, Venus is a fighter, not a lover, and we must contend with that. We probably even NEED that, but it won't make this upcoming Valentine's Day season any easier. Nor will it help us to negotiate or work with other people to make the changes that need to be made in the months ahead.

Additionally, Jupiter stations direct at 11° Gemini, which IS a major boon. Jupiter is quite out of place in Gemini, the sign of its exile, and this was being exasperated by its retrograde cycle. I won't say that luck is back on track (yet), but we're getting there. Jupiter will leave Gemini in the spring, and we should look forward to that eventuality.

Small favors should not be overlooked right now.

We get a lull through midweek, but it may be the calm before the storm.

On Friday, Neptune meets up with the North Node at 28° Pisces. I don't think that this will be a groundbreaking day if only because Neptune obscures by its very nature, but it will be long-reaching. This major planetary stellium: Saturn, Neptune, and the North Node in Pisces and Venus, barely in Aries, will be joined by the Sun and Mercury in the months ahead - this is it. This is that sticky point I've been talking so much about.

We are here. We may not know where here is yet. But it IS happening. Stay aware and take notes, what happens now will matter more than it might at first appear.

Both the Sun and Mercury in Aquarius sextile Chiron in Aries on Saturday before meeting up in conjunction with one another on Sunday. Whatever is being revealed right now has some serious pain attached to it - it's wise to attend to this pain, not look away from it.

Also, on Sunday, retrograde Mars in Cancer trines Saturn in Pisces - these consequences are real. It's long past time for us to run away from them.

We all need to sit with this. It isn't going to be pretty.

But it is where we are.

Energy Update: February 2025

February is a "2" Universal Month [2 (February) + 9 (2025) = 11 = 1+1 = 2] in a "9" Universal Year. Two is often a decision number; as we move down the path, we find a fork in the road and face our first choices. This is consistent with the astrological transits of the month; our personal planets are marching ever closer to the divide between 29° Pisces and 00° Aries - THE degree of the year. What we do now matters, but we may not know why yet.

The Set Up

We begin the month with the Sun, Mercury, and Pluto in Aquarius; Venus, Saturn, Neptune, and the North Node in Pisces; retrograde Mars in Cancer; retrograde Jupiter in Gemini; and Uranus in Taurus. By month's end, the Sun and Mercury will have moved into Pisces and Venus into Aries. Additionally, Mars and Jupiter will have stationed direct.

The Nitty Gritty

Aspect-wise, this is a pretty sparse month, but what we do see packs a pretty big punch. Mars is rounding out the end of his retrograde cycle (thank the gods), but both Mercury and Venus will retrograde in the months ahead. In fact, Venus is already in her pre-retrograde shadow as she moves through Pisces and Aries all month long. This month can be seen as a bit of a setup for what is to come in March, April, and May as each planet inches forward toward its inevitable conjunction to 00° Aries. I have written about this as the conjunction of the year here, so I won't go into a lot of detail about it, but I will make reference to it.

Mars

Mars has been in the spotlight since he began his retrograde journey at 17° Cancer on 12/6. This month, he makes the last legs of his trip before stationing direct on 2/23. We are deep in the weeds of Mars in Cancer now, which is unfortunate because Mars is at his fall in the cardinal water sign. A planet is considered in its fall when it is the opposing sign to that of its exaltation (here, Capricorn); this is an indication that the sign's natural aptitudes are in misalignment with the nature of the planet.

Cancer is the sign of the crab, and as a cardinal/moving sign, it moves like a crab - sideways, zigzagging toward its targets. This movement is highly inefficient; once Cancer grabs on, it holds on for dear life. Cancer types like the world to believe they are a moveable sign - they carry their homes on their backs, after all! - but often, they are so obsessed with what has already happened that they forget to look forward to the future. Cancer naturally rules the 4th house, the nadir of the horoscope wheel, the natural domain of the past - our childhoods and family setups. All Cancer types must watch out for false nostalgia or adherence to a perfect memory that doesn't fit the world as it is now.

I want to be clear here that I am not trying to throw Cancer under the bus: every sign has positive and negative traits associated with it. It's Cancer's job to REMEMBER the past; it's a challenging task, and someone has got to do it. The problem comes when Cancer gets STUCK in the past. This problem is because Mars moves backward in the sign most obsessed with the past.

I shouldn't need to point out the obvious parallels between this astrological transit and what is going on with US politics right now. What I can do is allow a broad view: sometimes, we need to return to review the past because someone has not yet learned their lessons. This is always very triggering for those out ahead of the pack. Nobody wants to stop for the slowpoke, least of all Mars.

One of the things that the study of astrological transits teaches us is that we often need to take three steps forward and then two steps back. This is the nature of retrograde cycles; they allow us a broader viewpoint as we retrace the degrees of the horoscope where we have recently been. These should be seen as a cosmic lesson - for society and sometimes for our personal lives. This is true of all planetary retrogrades, but it holds doubly true when a planet retrogrades back through Cancer, the sign that remembers.

We are in the thick of it now, and this is often when retrogrades feel their very worst. It is obvious who has their eyes wide open and is paying attention and who has chosen to hide their heads in the sand to play pretend. Not everyone wants or cares to change. This can be one of the most challenging realities to face.

Because Cancer lives at least partially in the past, they can be among the last to change. Often, they hold on with their crabby hands as if their lives depend on it. When Mars is retrograde in the sign of the crab, everyone is a little bit more reticent to see their part of the problem. Because the crab is so often thwarted (in that others want change while they want to cling to what they know and the comfort that brings), they frequently resort to emotional manipulation.

Think of the myth of the good old days when things were "simpler." Think of the parent that demands you obey because you owe them. Life isn't tit for tat - some obligations cannot be repaid. We cannot go backward; the past is done. We must grapple with these things as we move through the last month of this rough retrograde cycle.

Mars only makes one significant aspect this month, a trine to Saturn in Pisces on 2/9. I expect the days around this to carry the weight of these retrograde burdens, as Mars and Saturn are traditionally considered malefic planets. Whatever needs to be shaken loose will undoubtedly fall apart during this time, but it won't be pretty. Expect the worst, and hope for the best. Sometimes, things NEED to fall apart.

It's a scant comfort when shit is hitting the fan, of course.

As Mars exits its retrograde at 17° Cancer on 2/23, Mercury in Pisces is in a watery trine to help sort out the pieces. Verbally, if possible. Talk things out in your personal life on or after the 23rd, and take real actionable steps to rectify any situations that have come up since December. Remember that it will be another two months before Mars is out of his post-retrograde shadow, so things will continue to arise for re-evaluation.

The Lights: The Sun and the Moon

As the Sun moves through Aquarius, it will conjunct Mercury at 20° on 2/9 and square Uranus on 2/11. (Mercury squares Uranus on 2/10 on the day in between). This is our big Ah-Ha moment for the month. If you're into truth-seeking or truth-revealing, these are the days to work with. Anytime the Sun squares Uranus, the chances of sudden changes go up, and so long as Uranus is in Taurus, the chances of natural disasters also increase. Uranus is the lightning strike on the Tower card in the tarot; it is unexpected and generally unavoidable. Take that as you will.

Our full moon at 24° Leo on 2/12 forms a t-square to Uranus in Taurus; this will be a high-energy day. Expect the unexpected. Uranus tends to turn the energy up to 11, which will heighten the intensity of our full moon, which is already quite intense. If you're sensitive, you may need to take steps to discharge the excess - whether through physical movement or grounding. Do what works for you, of course. It's worth noting that Uranus is the modern ruler of Aquarius; this is a great day to do magic for activism or anything that affects the greater good of society as a whole, the domain of Aquarius.

Our Leo Full Moon is a 7/9 Full Moon.

5 (Leo Moon) + 11 (Aquarius Sun) = 16 = 1+6 = 7. 7 (Leo full Moon) + 2 (February 2025) = 9.

You can work with the number 7 to seek the best for everyone or the number 9 to represent endings and completions. Note here that 2025 is a "9" Universal year, so this number is further highlighted during this time. The combination of these two numbers makes it a great day to Hex the Patriarchy or do other magic to end the influence of the current administration.

As our Sun enters Pisces on 2/18, we enter the last astrological month of the year. There's a lot of pressure to wrap things up before spring when the Sun crests 00° Aries and our hot-point degree of the year. Pisces carries a lot of dark moon energy naturally as it rules the 12th house of the unconscious, which goes doubly for this year. Pisces is also the new home of our North Node, which is already conjunct with Saturn and Neptune at the other end of the sign.

The lunar nodes indicate where our eclipses will occur, so we may begin to taste eclipse season on the horizon, but we need to get through our new moon at 09° Pisces on 2/27 first.

This solar-lunar conjunction makes a wide stellium with Saturn, whose sitting eleven degrees away at 21°, so fate may be hanging heavily in the air. This is triply dark moon energy: firstly from the natural lack of lunar light, secondly from the nature of the Pisces new moon/12th house, and thirdly because it is the last lunar event before our upcoming eclipse season. If you are in that hole, know you are right on time.

Our Pisces New Moon is a 6/8 New Moon.

12 (Pisces Moon) + 12 (Pisces Sun) = 24 = 2+4 = 6. 6 (Pisces New Moon) + 2 (February 2025) = 8.

With 8 energy in play, expect to experience the highest highs and the lowest lows, perhaps both almost at the same time as one another. Eight is the number of the ouroboros and the infinity sign; you can work with either of these symbols during this time to help move through the energy rather than getting stuck in it. This is the perfect lunar event for shadow work, divination, and anything you want to do unseen or in the dark.

The Lunar Nodes

It is worth noting the recent movement of our lunar nodes, who passed from the axis of Aries-Libra to the axis of Pisces-Virgo in January. The nodes are not physical bodies in our skies but mathematical points that indicate where the Sun, Moon, and Earth need to be in the skies to create our solar and lunar eclipses. They are always read as a pair: the North Node (traditionally the Head of the Dragon) is our point of forward-facing fate, the area of life society as a whole will need to focus on, and our South Node (traditionally the Tail of the Dragon) is the point of past-facing fate, the area of life we are moving away from as a collective.

Because we are entering Pisces season at the end of February, we can discern that our first eclipse season is on the horizon. This will be mixed-sign eclipses. As the lunar nodes are still on the cusp of the signs, we will experience a lunar eclipse in Virgo and a solar eclipse in Aries in March.

As we exit our new moon on 2/27, the energy leading up to our set of eclipses will rise. This tends to create much tension; this should be viewed as business as usual. I will speak more about our upcoming eclipses soon.

Mercury

As Mercury moves through Aquarius, they trine retrograde Jupiter in Gemini on 2/3, a check-in on our luck. Mercury is the native ruler of Gemini, but Jupiter is quite unhappy there (both in its retrograde and fall). Jupiter has been out of commission for a while now, and it's starting to show. When you can't rely on Jupiter, you must make your own luck. Mercury is a trickster, after all. This is a concept worth exploring at the beginning of the month.

Mercury passes across the boundaries of the Sun on 2/9, a position often known as Mercury Cazimi or Mercury combust. Traditional astrologers believed that the Sun overpowered the nature of Mercury, and times of Mercury combustion created slow, unintelligent types. I will say that I was born with Mercury conjunct to the Sun within 1 degree, and it is obvious how wordy I am. Mercury cazimi is a reminder that we are coming up fast on our first Mercury retrograde of the year, which will go from 09° Aries to 25° Pisces in March. Stay tuned for that, as it will coincide with Venus's retrograde over almost exactly the same degrees - this is the big meat of our spring season.

As Mercury crosses over the Sun, it also squares Uranus in Taurus - Uranus is often believed to be the higher octave of Mercury. Where Mercury is thought, Uranus is pure inspiration. Stay open to whatever channels are available to you during this time. This will be a great day for writers, inventors, artists, and diviners.

On 2/14, Mercury enters Pisces, the sign of Mercury's fall, as it is the opposite sign of one Mercury rules (Virgo). We might need to watch out for how we speak about ourselves and others during this time. Are we being truthful? Are we being kind? Mercury is concerned with precision in Virgo, and Pisces - ruled by the amorphous Neptune- is anything but. Sometimes, it is good to blur the lines, but often, Mercury in Pisces goes too far. Note here that Mercury's retrograde will include the end of Pisces, the sign of its fall, and Venus will be in her fall while she is in Aries - and Mars is in his fall while retrograding through Cancer.

This is a hint that none of us are at our best.

Maybe we need to judge less and accept ourselves for where we are.

As Mercury moves into Pisces, they square Jupiter on 2/20 - again, we may feel out of time (Mercury) and out of luck (Jupiter). There may be nothing that we can do about it (mutable square), but people may want to cry about it (Mercury in Pisces). Acceptance isn't easy, but it can help make sense of our lives.

As we round out the month, Mercury in Pisces trines retrograde Mars on the day he stations direct and then conjuncts Saturn on 2/25. There are consequences here. We must admit what we have done so that we can move forward.

Venus

As mentioned above, Venus is the vanguard of all of our planets that will enter 00° Aries this year - she does so for the first time on 2/4. Circle that date in your calendar; it's an important one. You may not note it as important this time around (on Venus's first pass), but what is coming up now is going to come back around again at least two more times through Venus's retrograde and possibly more as the Sun, Mercury, Saturn, and Neptune also cross this degree.

Happy spring a little bit early. Except it's not yet spring, and nobody is particularly happy about anything. Venus is in her fall in the cardinal fire sign of Aries because Aries is the opposite sign of her dominion, Libra. Venus naturally desires to play nice, smooth things over, and generally get along, while Aries is the sign of forging ahead, whatever the cost. Unless modified by a lot of watery energy, Aries types don't tend to give any shits about fitting in or playing nice. It is just their way. This costs Venus many of her best traits, and she loses her softer edges.

What if we aren't supposed to have these soft edges during this time? What if we all need to be a bit tougher, if we need to lean into what we believe and STAND UP for it? That is what Venus in Aries does best - she is, by her nature, virtually fearless.

Keep in mind that we are already in Venus's pre-retrograde shadow. This means that every degree she moves across this month will be retraced, in total, three times. She won't move more than thirteen degrees from where she is on 2/1 until 4/16 when she exits her post-retrograde shadow. This means that through a wide enough lens, she will carry the stellium with Neptune and the North Node all the way through from 2/1 to 4/16 for 75 days. In this time, the Sun will move through this stellium, and Mercury and Saturn will join it for their own retrograde cycles.

By weight, number of days in these degrees, and number of passes, Saturn certainly is the heavyweight here, but Venus is no slouch. Remember that, along with Mars, she is one of the two planets that governs how we all get along. Things might start to heat up (metaphorically) as she enters Aries early in February, and then she retrogrades and brings this heat back into Pisces, which might bring things to a true and for-real boil.

I don't say this to scare you, but we should all be prepared. From 12/6 to 4/12, all three of our personal planets will have retrogrades one after another. There is no getting along to be found or had. It won't be pretty or fun.

Set your expectations low, understanding that we are in the lead-up to this all month long. Venus retrogrades on 3/1 (also the day Mercury enters their pre-retrograde shadow at 25° Pisces), so the closer we get to March, the more apparent it might become that things aren't very copacetic. If you can't make heads or tails of other people - even your very closest - know that you are right on time. Venus slows down to a near standstill at the month's end, holding 10° Aries for an abnormally long time; this is going to feel like absolute shit - especially to anyone with a personal planet on or around 10° in any of the cardinal or fire signs.

There's just not much we can do about this except bear it.

Jupiter

After a very uncomfortable retrograde in the sign of its fall, Jupiter stations direct at 11° Gemini on 2/4, the beginning of a better day. Jupiter will move out of Gemini (finally) and into Cancer later this year - look forward to that. Our luck will return, slowly.

Looking Ahead

March is going to be a shit show; there's no way around it. Venus retrogrades on 3/1, and Mercury follows soon afterward - the two are retrograding in nearly identical ways - Venus from 10° Aries to 24° Pisces and Mercury from 09° Aries to 25° Pisces. It's going to be a rough one/two punch. And that's before we even consider eclipse season with a total lunar eclipse in Virgo and a partial solar eclipse in Aries that will form a stellium with the Sun, the Moon, and retrograde Mercury. retrograde Venus, Saturn, Neptune, and the North Node. Yep, it's a lot. Stay tuned.

The Details

2/1 - Venus conjunct Neptune 27° Pisces 2/3 - Mercury in Aquarius trine retrograde Jupiter in Gemini, retrograde Mars in Cancer square Chiron in Aries, Venus conjunct North Node 29° Pisces 2/4 - Venus enters Aries, Jupiter stations direct 11° Gemini 2/7 - Venus in Aries sextile Pluto in Aquarius, Neptune conjunct the North Node 28° Pisces 2/8 - Sun in Aquarius sextile Chiron in Aries, Mercury in Aquarius sextile Chiron in Aries 2/9 - Sun conjunct Mercury 20° Aquarius, retrograde Mars trine Saturn in Pisces 2/10 - Mercury in Aquarius square Uranus in Taurus 2/11 - Sun in Aquarius square Uranus in Taurus 2/12 - Full Moon 24° Leo 2/14 - Mercury enters Pisces 2/18 - Sun enters Pisces 2/20 - Mercury in Pisces square Jupiter in Gemini 2/23 - Mercury in Pisces trine retrograde Mars in Cancer, Mars stations direct 17° Cancer 2/25 - Mercury conjunct Saturn 20° Pisces 2/27 - New moon 09° Pisces

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[honeybard]

adhd advice will be like people with adhd struggle to get their thoughts organised. also to get diagnosed you need to get your thoughts on why you have adhd organised in advance in order to convince the doctor you have it

[burquillos]

Ayo how are you? I really love your art, all of them are so good!

Also may I ask what app/program do you use for drawing (and which brushes?)? Im new at digital art and I can't use any paid app so I try to ask all the artists I like, sorry if it looks weird🤧

Hello!! I use CSP now but I've used open source applications like Fire Alpaca and Medibang for the longest time (and I still do!!)

I mainly use default brushes mostly cause I think it's a hassle to find and test brushes 😅😅 (but also as a personal challenge to myself to learn to draw stuff instead of relying too much on shorthand)

I like using G-pens a lot and that's mostly what I use for lines. I get the most plain round brush for colors and general filling stuff and airbrushes for gradients or any edge that I want to be soft.

You really can do a lot with the default brushes and I'd even recommend using those first especially if you're new to digital art so you can get used to the basics first.

Once you're settled in, you'll have a better understanding of what kind of pizzaz✨ (like textures, screentones, or effects) you'd want to incorporate in your art which makes the brush picking a lot easier and not overwhelming.

These are just my own thoughts though😅😅 I hope you find this somewhat helpful😔🙏

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

rewatching 13s era for me is not so much diminishing returns as it is something opposite and eviler...............increasing losses? increasing losses

[itsalwaysdark]

like i wouldnt mind like. Not having new linear games post 5 its judt that sims 4 wasnt even supposed to Be The Sims 4 it was a last minute pivot and the base code is so outdated and was broken On launch so like. i just wish we could have the final actual sims game be like. one that was always intented to be a major sims release AND be intended to be so long term . yk

[phagodyke]

anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️

[the-busy-ghost]

Warning- this is a very petty post, but I think I'm entitled to at least one petty, pissed-off reaction every time I finish a classic novel that hit harder than I expected so take this as my quota for the year.

Also spoiler warning for a book that came out over a century ago but still, I didn't know the plot going in so don't want to ruin it for anyone else, if you haven't read it shut your eyes. (Also Local Tumblr User Going Wild Over Book Published a Hundred Years Ago That Everybody Else Already Read should probably be categorised as akey part of indigenous tumblr culture at this point).

Anyway I just finished the War of the Worlds and in between studying I've thinking about Themes and Motifs as you do, and idly looking for further analysis. I then accidentally ran into an article called 'A Quiet Place II Succeeds Where the War of the Worlds Failed' and:

Now I haven't seen any of the Quiet Place films, this is not a rant against them and of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But re: the ending of The War of the Worlds, I have to ask, did this guy somehow miss, uh, the entire point of the book or am I just utterly insane?