#but apparently people don’t like that take. which is insane but whatever.

[sunfyrisms]

is there a fandom term for loving the targaryens but also hating these inbred freaks. is there a fandom term for loving the targaryens but also loving those who contributed to their downfall, except no one caused their downfall more than the targaryens themselves, btw. is there a fandom term. is there a term loving the targaryens but also never wanting any targaryen to sit on the iron throne again. is there a

[nightcolorz]

“Armand was lying to Louis about how Marius used to pimp him out to his friends bcus he wanted him to feel bad for him” is perhaps the stupidest and most insane take in the amc iwtv fandom. It’s stupid bcus ik that the ppl saying this r only saying it from a delusional place of “I really don’t want amc iwtv to portray Marius as a bad person so I’m hoping that every instance we have so far of Marius doing bad things isn’t actually canon” and the people who believe this don’t actually think about it in the context of the plot and what a lie like that would mean, bcus if they did they’d realize that it makes no sense and they r delusional.

The craziest part of it is the “Armand is lying about this specifically to try to make Louis feel bad for him” aspect, bcus that implies that armand is 1: willing to vilify Marius (the most important person in his life who he continues to love and admire and hold in deep regard) to gain favor in his relationship with Louis (hot guy he just met) and 2: That Armand somehow needs to make up more bad things that happened to him bcus apparently being enslaved and raped as a child wasn’t enough and he had to throw in a random detail about his makers friends cuz otherwise Louis wouldn’t sympathize with him enough.

Yep that makes sense. Not even to mention how Armand explicitly softens the way he words the fact that Marius pimped him out in a way that makes Marius *look better* bcus he loves him and clearly based on performance context and actual dialogue isn’t looking to make Marius out to be a bad guy when talking about him to Louis. That is definitely the tone in which someone lying about being abused for attention would talk about their abuser! Also, the insinuation that Marius would not do this so it must be a manipulation of the truth is hilarious, bcus Marius sending Armand to have sex with house guests seems to me like a very clear adaption of his actions in the books where he sends Armand to go have sex with ppl at brothels to try to “flesh out his worldly experiences” or whatever. In an adaption where Armand is more explicitly and functionally Marius’s slave (and also a poc with less social privileges) it makes sense that marius making Armand have sex with other people for his warped reasons would translate to house guests instead of prostitutes. Marius does arguably so many more worse things in the books then tell Armand to have sex with his house guests so I don’t see how this is the line that can’t be crossed for some people. I don’t mind if anyone rlly likes Marius or stans him but nothing bothers me more then seeing huge mischaracterizations of my boy Armand so like in conclusion shut up.

[dilatorywriting]

59 Leona, it'd take a lot for him to admit but he would say it eventually. (Also I know you'd recognize me but I'm shy, so anon it is)

Gender Neutral Reader x Leona Kingscholar Word Count: 1.5k

Prompt 59: "People like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you, I think fate was being harsh on you."

[EVENT MASTERLIST]

You are nice, and you are stupid. And those things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Sometimes you’re nice because you’re stupid, and sometimes you do stupid things because you’re too nice for your own stupid, stupid good. And it drives Leona half insane.

Which it shouldn’t, because nice, stupid people like you are just as annoying as his brother. Goody-two-shoes with buttoned vests and sparkly, star-shaped stickers on their term papers.

“Did you remember your homework?”

Leona flicked his tail in your face and you scrunched your nose over your notebook.

“Well?”

“Of course I remembered,” he scoffed, lazing back against the roots of one of his favorite trees. This spot used to be so much quieter, so much more peaceful, before you decided to trail after him like a duck quacking for its mother.

“Did you do the homework?” you clarified, and Leona rolled his eyes.

You sighed and starting ruffling around in your bookbag. “I brought a spare copy of the worksheet. You’re going to drive Ruggie insane, y’know. If he winds up stuck with you for another year because you failed for not turning in assignments.”

“Yeah. Sure. Another three-hundred-and-sixty-five days to rifle through my wallet. Worst news of his life.”

You huffed good naturedly and handed him the sheet of crisp, white copy paper and a pen. “Get to work, Kingscholar.”

“Oh?” he drawled, closing his eyes and settling back, loose limbed and all long, lean leisure, against the tree trunk. Clearly ready for an afternoon snooze. “Make me.”

You sighed again and reached over to flick your own well-used pen against his ear. It twitched under your fingers—soft, and tufted. The finest of the pale, tan fur brushing up against your fingertips. “Fine. Be that way. See if I bring you lunch tomorrow.”

“You will,” he scoffed.

“Yeah,” you sighed, sounding resigned and foolishly fond. “I probably will.”

See? Stupid. So easy to manipulate. So willing to let yourself be squashed under his clawed thumb. It was a wonder you’d managed to survive in this school at all. Nevertheless by clinging onto the coattails of someone like him. He’d never made anyone’s existence easier a day in his life, and he certainly wasn’t going to start now, just because you were too soft-hearted and slow to see a looming predator for what it was.

“Just give me that stupid fucking paper,” he snapped, sitting upright and swatting away your poking pen with a sneer. You laughed into your palms like a secret—bright, and merry, and dumb as a fucking rock.

“Whatever you say, Leona.”

.

.

You’d handled his Overblot with a strange sort of aplomb that at first Leona had attributed to perhaps a lingering, hidden confidence that he’d just never bothered to unearth. You were just some herbivore, and even the littlest rabbits could bite back when you put them in a corner. But then he’d come to the decision that that easy conviction was just another symptom of your rampant stupidity.

“I know you guys don’t want to hurt me, or any of us. Not really,” you shrugged around a wad of cotton—the blood dripping from your nose slowly drying up to a tacky, sticky dribble. Leona gaped at you outright.

That was your grand explanation. For why you’d been so eager to charge forward when he’d collapsed in a pool of inky nightmares and self-loathing. And the very same reason apparently thatyou’d felt so comfortable rushing forward to treat Azul Ashengrotto’s blubbering, hysterical, breakdown with the same urgency.

“That octo-prick would have ripped you in half,” he sneered, fingers twitching a nervous rhythm against his palms as he watched the nurse wrap another layer or bandages around your head.

You shrugged. “Not on purpose.”

You were going to give him an aneurism.

“You’re going to get yourself killed,” he snarled, ignoring the horrible, twisty thing curling like bile through his chest. “And I’m not going to bother paying for some self-sacrificing idiot’s funeral.”

Another shrug.

“That’s alright,” you hummed, a soft sort of crooked smile on your mouth. “Would’ve been a waste of money anyways.”

Leona didn’t talk to you for a week after that. Surely because your stupidity had reached such a fever pitch that it was no doubt contagious, and he needed to protect his far superior and more valuable brain. Not because the image of you smiling and nodding along to his declarations that he wouldn’t put the effort into mourning your death had soured something so deep in his gut that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to scrape it out.

.

.

When he received a letter from home asking him to return for some shitty coronation nonsense for his equally shitty brother, Leona had debated just skipping it outright. Who was going to stop him? You?

Well. Yes, apparently.

“It sounds important,” you hummed, peering over his shoulder at the neat, formal scrawl of the summons. “You should go.”

He snorted. “I don’t want to be there, they don’t want me to be there. What’s the point.”

You frowned, brow crinkling in the middle.

“Well, that’s not true,” you said, perplexed. “They wouldn’t write to you if that was the case.”

Leona snorted, eyes darting away to glare bitterly off into the corner. “Not like they have a choice.”

“Well then you don’t have a choice either,” you argued, firm. “I’ll go with you. See? It says you can have a plus one. You can camp out in your fancy, princey, bedroom. And I can siphon you snacks from the fancy, princey hors d'oeuvres tables. That way we both win. You get to be a reclusive asshole and rub the fact that that you still went in everyone’s faces, and I can get access to some tasty, royal food that I’ll probably never be able to afford again for the rest of my life.”

“Should’ve known you’d be like Ruggie—only using me for the free food,” he sighed, melodramatic and obviously put on.

“Well, also because I thought you could use the emotional support,” you added, a touch too soft and far too genuine. “But I didn’t think you wanted to hear that bit.”

“You’re right,” he scoffed, turning onto his side to hide the strange, miserable heat pricking at his skin. “Don’t ever say corny shit like that again.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” you grinned, flicking at his ear, and Leona added another mental tab to his never-ending list of reasons that you were really far too brainless to keep functioning at all.

.

.

You were nice, and you were stupid. And Seven, he wanted to be anywhere but here.

“My brother hasn’t ever brought someone to one of these events before,” Falena had said, to your face. Idiot to idiot communication.  

“I didn’t give him much of an option,” you’d chirped, perfectly pleasant. “I don’t think he wants me anywhere near here, to be fair. Or around him in general. But I’m like a cockroach. Can’t get rid of me.”

And Falena had laughed. Because he was terrible. And said, “I’m sure he must care about you very much, little cockroach.”

And then because you were more terrible, you laughed back and said very assuredly, “Oh, not at all.”

Which was—was—

“Do you really think that?” he snapped, once the two of you were alone. And you blinked back at him with wide, owlish eyes.

“Think what?”

Think at all,he wanted to sneer, but just glared silently and bitterly into the middle distance—fighting the nonsensical, irritated swishing of his tail.

But you just kept staring at him. Like he was the moron here. Which was unacceptable.

“Look,” he frowned, sharp and miserable. “I get it. People like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you. Whatever gods exist out there were playing a shitty fucking joke on you when they dropped you in my lap. But you’re stuck with me. So stop—” he bit out, fighting that awful, twisty thing in his gut that never seemed to fully go away. “Stop talking like I can’t stand you.”

“…oh,” you mumbled, whisper quiet—that wide, startled gaze flicking away in embarrassment. “Oh.”

“Oh,” he echoed, sharp, and you snorted a laugh that seemed to surprise even you.

“You’re stuck with me too then, y’know,” you said after a long moment. “Even when I make you grumpy.”

“You don’t make me grumpy. I am grumpy. You make me—” he cut off quick, eyes darting away petulantly and an absolutely unfair heat rising along his cheekbones.  

“Itchy,” you piped in, and he gaped at you in shock.

“What?”

“You know,” you shrugged, awkward, and reached up to wiggle your fingers. “Cockroach. Many legs. Squirming. Itchy.”

“Never say any of those words again.”

You laughed into your palm—inelegant and a touch too loud. Leona felt his lips quirk.

“Thank you,” you said after a moment, once your giggles were a bit more under control. And leaned forward quick as a whip to press a nervous peck against his cheek. “For being kind to me.”

Kind.

Leona reached up to press a hand against the too-warm skin with a terrible, unfamiliar sensation in his head not unlike the fuzzy, white drone of TV static. And a horrible thought managed to filter its way through the floating, buzzing sensation curling through the whole of him.

Oh, fuck. It is contagious.

.

.

[suzukiblu]

Thank-you sentences for derpsheep behind the cut; weird amnesia Timberkon. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“You can recognize their heartbeats?” Bernard asks incredulously–that is a very creepy and invasive thing to recognize about someone, much less be passively listening to, what the fuck–and then frowns. “Wait, got back from where?” 

“Long story,” Superboy mutters. “Alternate realities were involved. It sucked. But I got back here, and it’s supposed to be right, and there’s people I recognize, but there’s . . . different people, too. And no one here recognizes me. And I thought . . .” 

“That you were either totally insane or just stranded in the wrong reality for no discernable reason with no idea how to find the right one?” Bernard assumes. 

“That, yeah,” Superboy says tightly. “Definitely that.” 

“Good news, I guess, if you are insane, it’s a shared delusion, and if you’re in the wrong reality, so am I,” Bernard says. “Because again, I definitely remember you. And Hawaii. And Superman being dead. And like, all that shit in general. Also you kinda died that one time too? There was a statue, I’m pretty sure. Actually I think there were two.” 

Superboy’s smile is tight and humorless, and he digs his fingers into the inside of his wrist. Bernard has no clue how a dude in such severe and obvious distress can look so fucking good about, like . . . literally everything he’s got going on over there. It’s a lot of “everything”, is all. Superboy is a lot no matter what, obviously, but still. Like, extra a lot. Secret bonus levels of a lot. 

A lot. 

“I mean, there used to be,” Superboy says, and the pained smile he’s wearing turns–bitter, kind of. 

Fuck, Bernard feels so bad for this dude. Like so many levels of so bad. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way but I need to google some shit,” he says as he digs his phone out. Tim is clearly taking his sweet-ass time in the bathroom, and since he isn’t actually in there waiting for Superboy, it’s gotta be a Bat thing, which usually gives him a good fifteen or twenty minutes of fuck-around time before Tim makes it back with the weak excuse du jour. Or, like, three and a half weeks, one very memorable and kinda fucking awful time that Bernard had spent wondering if jumping into the timestream was how vigilantes ghosted you. “And maybe check some forums or something.” 

“I don’t think ‘is this weird dude at the boba shop crazy’ is gonna pop up on Bing, man,” Superboy says, still wearing the same bitter smile. Bernard wonders why he didn’t just go to the Justice League and explain himself to them. Like, they’d probably believe him, right? Or at least they wouldn’t instantly not believe him; they’d check things out or whatever. 

Alternately, though: half-Kryptonian full-telekinetic with Lex Luthor’s DNA and Superman’s face who doesn’t even know if he’s crazy or not.  

So like . . . that seems like an awkward conversation to have with Superman, maybe, Bernard allows. Or just fucking agonizing and terrifying and wildly, wildly likely to end in one of those stupid misunderstanding-based super-fights and, like, maybe also getting drop-kicked into the Phantom Zone because said stupid fight would be against Superman and that is, apparently, what Superman usually does with supervillain Kryptonians. And probably Superboy is having some very understandable issues about getting drop-kicked out of reality right now, if that’s a concern he’s had. Which–the Phantom Zone isn’t the same thing as an alternate reality, as far as Bernard’s aware, but also what the fuck does he know about the Phantom Zone? 

Bernard googles, in quick succession: Superman’s death, the Phantom Zone, and Superboy. He gets a ton of articles and photographs and blog posts with absolutely zero trace of Superboy in a single one of them, a lot of contradicting intel about what the hell the Phantom Zone actually is, and also some blurry candid photos of a ten year-old in ripped jeans and an S-shield hoodie that he’s never seen before in his life. 

. . . so that’s weird, yeah, Bernard observes, blinking down at his phone. 

“Huh,” he says, brow furrowing. “Hey, should I know this kid?” 

“Did you literally just google ‘Superboy’?” Superboy asks, which is notably not an answer to Bernard’s question. 

“Obviously, yeah, the entire internet is in my pocket, why would I not do that,” Bernard replies reasonably, still scrolling through random photos of this completely unrecognizable kid. Said kid continues to look like a total fucking stranger and Bernard continues to have zero clue who he is or why he’s wearing the “S”. Another clone, maybe? Like, an even mini-er mini-Super? Bernard can’t see his face all that clearly in any of the pics, still, but he’s at least got Superman’s coloring, it looks like. 

“Because Tim would give you shit about it, probably, I don’t know,” Superboy lies, because he very obviously does know. Probably better than Bernard does himself, come to think of it, which is kind of a weird thought but also, like, an obviously objectively true one. Superboy’s spent a lot more time with Tim than he has, even having been, like . . . unrealitied and all. 

God, that is still so disturbing a concept, too. 

[dykesynthezoid]

I say this with 100% awareness that sometimes fandom likes to run with things based off of minimal subtext but I rlly truly don’t get. The majority of the arguments for why we wouldn’t get devil’s minion in the past? Lmao

Like the one (1) reason I can actually see us not getting it is just there not being enough screentime to go around. That’s not unthinkable to me at all; there’s a lot to potentially cover next season. But like, I literally can’t think of any other good reason for them to not do it.

And I think it’s worth saying that I wouldn’t be doing this kind of theorizing with any other show. It’s specifically bc this show likes to drop easter eggs and clues, likes to sew in little details, and also is not afraid of going all out, that I feel like I can take the things I pick up on seriously. Cause yeah, if this were another show, it might genuinely mean nothing, bc a lot of other shows just aren’t written with that enthusiasm or attention to detail or courage to Go Places.

And I also think it should be noted that like. While the show is certainly plenty different from the book(s), their modus operandi when it comes to adaptation is much more to add than to take away. They added old Daniel, added Loumand still being together, added a shit ton of extra small bits to Claudia’s arc. Their method of adaptation is not one of subtraction. They’re not taking away whole character beats and plot events. They’re adding, adding new situations, new settings, new contexts.

And that “adding” extends to character relationships as well. They built that danlou best friends/sexual tension out of the almost-nothing in the source material. Armand and Santiago (apparently) slept together. They’re not taking away interesting side dynamics that existed in the books, they’re literally adding more.

Like why wouldn’t they add past devils minion?? It only makes Armand and Daniel’s present relationship that much more complicated and insane, which is the exact thing this show loves to do.

Not to mention DM is only one chapter, by which I mean; if the argument against past devils minion is just screentime, like I personally think it is, we should also remember that. It’s only one chapter. It’s not that much additional material. And about a fourth of it is Daniel’s turning and the lead up to that, which we know would instead be in the modern day, not in flashback; and another several pages are Armand keeping Daniel trapped in a cellar, which 2x05 has already done. So like. It’s not that much material they’d have to cover to do past devils minion. Like, half an episode altogether at most, frankly, and they could easily spread that all out as they pleased. And this is after season 2 spent an entire episode just on the events during and immediately post 1973 interview. Which they did not have to do. It was a choice to add that material.

Idk sometimes ppl act like it’s soooo crazy for people to be theorizing DM happened in the past and I’m like I literally don’t think it is? And trust me I get that sometimes people get shipping goggles on, and it’s annoying when people make everything about a ship, etc, (but also that’s literally just how fandom is in general? idk what you expect), but. Idk man it doesn’t seem that wild to me in comparison to some of the places the show has been willing to go? And meanwhile like half of you keep insisting Raglan James is Marius. Some of you even thought Sam might be Santino. Theorizing about past DM does not seem that weird to me. Like I am literally just watching the show and Noticing Details and coming up with a possible outcome. It’s whatever

[mannaima]

Heard you wanted some dark requests for Joel? I have one!

How about Joel with a reader half his age. She’s an orphan growing up in the QZ. A sunshine type that’s always smiling and bright. She ends up striking a friendship with Joel but misses all the signs that he’s becoming infatuated with her because she’s naive. She doesn’t realize that people are terrified to get close to her because Joel’s made it clear he’s staked a claim on her.

One day she tells Joel she’s been asked out on a date. She’s nervous because she’s never gone out with someone and has no idea what to do. It’s not like the schools in the QZ are any good based off or what Ellie’s said. So she goes to her friend to ask him advice about sex. She misses how insanely jealous he’s becoming and how possessive he gets. Eventually he decides to show her, instead of telling her, what sex is like.

The next day she hears that the guy that asked her out is dead. Apparently Joel shot him while on a job as a guard because he showed signs of infection (how convenient). She’s heartbroken over losing him and doesn’t see how satisfied Joel looks. She has no idea he’s obsessed with her and will do whatever it takes to keep her.

Lesson

Summary: You look for advice from a friend, but he uses that to his advantage.

Warnings: NSFW (18+), smut, dub-con(ish), age gap (reader is 20 and joel is 56), joel being possessive, murder (at the end)

Word count: 5K

Summary: I like this! For reference, Ellie will be the same age as the reader, which is 20! Also, this is in a universe where ellie and Joel are in the QZ at an older age (yeah totally not canon but neither is any of this) Btw I didn’t proofread this at alllll so if u see any mistakes ignore it pls.

You had a good day so far, Ellie had invited you out drinking, which you happily accepted! Joel and Ellie had become really good friends, and you always looked forward to seeing them in your life. You had a simple life, go to work, come home, talk with your friends, and go to sleep. You enjoyed the laid back life, which was well deserved after the hell you spent a majority of your life. Though daily life wasn’t easy, it was much better than what you imagined you could’ve been if you had just made one wrong move fighting an infected. 

Sadly, it wasn’t very easy to make friends, a lot of people usually stayed away from you. You didn’t understand why, but you at least had Ellie and Joel to be in your life! 

“Ellie! Shush!” You both were laughing, you smacking Ellie’s shoulder as she said a dirty joke. 

“C’mon! You can't tell me that wasn’t funny!” She knew you too well, Ellie knew just how to make you embarrassed yet shift into a fit of laughter. You took a swig of your drink.

“Well, that might be true… But you can’t say that out loud! God forbid someone heard us talking about that…” You giggled under your breath.

“Talking about what? Say it or I will!” Ellie spoke a little louder.

“Please don’t.” You said, laughing with red cheeks.

“DIC-” You covered her mouth and both laughed to your heart's content. Although you loved Ellie, you admit she could be a little vulgar.

“Ellieee!” You whined “Shushhhh.” She laughed, and you uncovered her mouth.

“What do you know about that anyways, huh?” You mocked her, and she stuck her tongue out at you.

“You’re right, I should be screaming about pussy shouldn’t I?” You both shared a laugh, and she rested her hand on your shoulder,sharing a look. You both took a swig of your drinks.

“Hey Y/N!” Confused, you turned around, only to see a familiar face.

“Oh, hi Xavier!” A big smile grew on his face. Xavier was a friend you had met from work, both bonding over a familiar love for dogs initially, until you both started to talk more frequently at work. He walked over to you and Ellie, his hands nervously rubbing his arm.

“This is my friend, Ellie.” Ellie gave him a wave, and he gave her a smile and wave, his whole demeanor seeming a bit more nervous than usual, very shaky.

“So, um, Y/N…” You smiled, and nodded, letting him continue. “I was wondering, um, If we.. No… I-If I… Fuck…” He stopped and closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow. Like… A date.” Your eyes widened at this, breath hitching. You had never been on a date before, you don’t even think you’ve held a guy's hand before! You looked at Ellie nervously, who had a huge grin on her face, nodding vigorously. You looked back at Xavier, who had a terrified look on his face, before you nodded your head yes.

“O-Of course! That sounds awesome!” Xaviers look of fear was replaced with a huge toothy grin, and nodded.

“Alright, awesome! I’ll pick you up tomorrow night! S-See you!” He promptly turned around, and walked through the other people in the common area. Ellie grabbed your cheek and turned you to face her.

“Y/N!! You just got asked on your very. First. Date!!!!” You both squealed like preteen girls at a sleepover, you couldn’t believe it! 

“Oh my god! This is so crazy. What do I wear. What should I do? What if he wants to kiss? What if he wants to…” Your eyes widened to look at Ellie. She laughed and raised her eyebrow.

“What?”

“Ellie… What if he wants to… Have sex…” You whispered the last part, and she laughed and slapped her knee.

“Ellie this is serious!”

“Why are you nervous? You know how that stuff works, right?” She gave you a laugh, before realizing you weren’t laughing. 

“Y/N… You aren’t serious, are you?”

“The schools at the QZ sucked, okay! They didn’t want us procreating!”

“Okay but… You seriously don’t know how sex works? You’re twenty years old dude!” You shushed her, trying to quiet her before others could turn their heads to see what you two were going on about. 

“It’s not my fault! I just never…Took much thought about it…” You put your head down in embarrassment.

“Hey, hey, Y/N. I’m just teasing. Sorry, I took it too far. But it's not all bad. I could teach you- No wait. I can ask Joel!”

“Joel?” You were confused, Ellie knew just as much as him, why did you need Joel to explain it.

“Joel’s actually got experience with… Y’know. Guy on girl action. So it would make more sense if he taught you, plus, he gave me the birds and bees talk!” You cringed at the thought. That talk was supposed to be given to kids who barely hit puberty, not twenty year olds. You nodded, and twiddled your fingers to try and ease your nerves.

“C’mon, it’s getting late. I’ll drop you off and Joel’s so it won't be as awkward with me there. Cause I’ll probably laugh every time Joel says penis.” You both giggled and walked to Joel’s apartment, the alcohol in your system making you a little less nervous about having ‘the talk’ with Joel.

“Alright Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow, Good luck!” Ellie hugged you tightly, and did the same. You had barely realized you were already in front of Joel’s apartment. Taking a deep breath, you gave the door a few knocks before stepping back slightly. Hopefully he answered.

After a few seconds of silence, a few clicks were heard before the door opened, revealing a straight faced Joel.

“Hi Joel!” You said, maybe a bit too cheery, before giving him a little wave.

“Hey sweetie. What do you need?” He gave you a small smirk, body leaning out the door frame.

“I- Um. Can I come in?” Joel nodded, and moved to the side, allowing you to walk in. You felt a little nervous to ask him, nervous that he was gonna view you differently.

“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” You looked up at him, his familiar face making you feel more comfortable, he was just a friend. A friend who could help you.

“So… Basically. Uhm…” You fidgeted around. “A guy… Xavier, asked me out.” You didn’t see the anger in his eyes when you said that. “And I’m super excited! But I’ve never been on a date with someone before. And I’ve never kissed a guy or held his hand or done anything romantic before.” You stopped your ramblings. “I was just wondering if. You could have the…. ‘The talk’ with me…”

“The talk?” Joel raised his eyebrow at you.

“Yeah! You know. Like the birds and the bees?” You nervously giggled, Joel’s expression worrying you. He just stared at you, and you couldn’t read his emotions. It was until he had a small, very awkward, smile on his face.

“Oh, alright. I guess I could tell you.” He walked over to his bed and pat the seat next to him. A wave of relief washed over you as you took the seat next to him, bouncing on the mattress. You looked up at Joel, his eyes staring into yours.

“Alright. So, basically, when two people love each other, they may feel… Hot. Warm. This is called arousal, but most people call it being horny.” You nodded. Taking a mental note of the word.

“And the man’s penis, his private part, gets hard.”

“I know what a penis is, Joel.” You giggled, and he put his hands up in defense.

“Just making sure! Anyways, the man gets hard. And the woman, well, she gets wet.”

“Wet? Like how?” Joel kind of stared at your legs for a little, seeming to debate in his head about a few things. He took a deep sigh and looked at you once more.

“How about I show you?” You gulped, what did he mean by show you?

“What? D-Do you mean like… Do it with me?”

“Yes. It’s better to show you. Plus, I doubt a guy like Xavier would know what he’s doing.” You nodded at this, realizing he was right, it would be better to know what you were doing than embarrass yourself.

“O-Ok. Show me, please?” You sounded so cute to Joel. He couldn’t get enough of you.

Joel had done so much to prevent any man from getting close to you, hell, even women too. You didn’t see the way he held a chiv up to people's necks just by mentioning your name, or how he shot a guy in the leg for waving at you, only letting him live to tell others to stay away from you, or else the next bullet would be in their heads. He didn’t want you corrupted by disgusting people of the world, he wanted to wait for the right opportunity to make you his, and it seemed Mister Xavier had given him the perfect opportunity.

“Alright. First lesson is gonna be on kissing. Get closer.” He commanded you, which made you slightly more nervous than it should’ve. You nodded, and obeyed, getting to the point that both your legs were touching.

“Alright, close your eyes. And purse your lips, not too much, just a little.” You did exactly as he said, and a few seconds later, you felt warm lips against your own. You felt the hairiness of his mustache and beard, tickling your features. He made a small ‘smooch’ sound before pulling away.

“See. It’s easy. You just had your first kiss.” You opened your eyes and saw Joel just a few inches away from your face. You giggled, and smiled with glee. You just had your first kiss! You kissed a man! Joel smiled back at you before rubbing your cheek and pulling your lip down, before letting it flip back up.

“Alright, lesson number two. Making out. Open your mouth for me darling, just slightly.” Your big eyes bore into his before doing exactly that. He suddenly slammed his lips against yours, his tongue slipping in your mouth. You let out a muffled noise before realizing he was playing with your tongue with his own. You kept staring at him before realizing his eyes were closed, so you followed in his steps. You both twirled your tongues against one another, your steps just being to follow him as closely as you could. His hands suddenly gripped your cheeks, cupping them in his hands, effectively pushing you closer to his lips. He seemed hungry, his mouth pushing against yours with such passion, his breathing getting heavy. You were very unsure of what to do, but it seemed he enjoyed what you were doing, so you felt okay. He kept pressing his tongue against yours, salvia dripping down your chin with how sloppy he was becoming. After a few minutes of making out, he pulled back, your tongue popping out your mouth as he pulled back.

“Fucking hell…” You heard him mutter under his breath, unsure if it was positive or not.

“Was that good, Joel?” You tilted your head at him, staring into his brown eyes.

“Oh.. Uh…” Joel had forgotten this was supposed to be a lesson for you. “Yes, you did amazing sweetie.” You gave him a large grin, so glad you did your best for him. Joel’s mind, however, was running a million miles an hour. His cock was so incredibly hard, throbbing almost, he had to contain himself from pinning you down and fucking your brains out. His hand was rubbing against his temple, trying to calm himself and collect his thoughts. Alright, he needed to focus on taking it slow for you. Stay focused.

“Okay. Next lesson is gonna be exploring your body. Let's take this off.” His large hands pressed up against your body, lifting up the hem of your shirt. You put your hands up, allowing him to slip the shirt off your body. He stared at your chest covered with a black bra, so simple, yet so arousing. He cursed under his breath again before gulping and softly rubbing your breast. 

“Get on my lap, sweetie.” You nodded and climbed over him, but he stopped you.

“Back to me, sweetheart.” His deep voice made you quiver a little, but you shouldn’t feel like that, Joel was your friend trying to help you out. You settled into his lap, feeling a hardness press against your ass. You shifted around, trying to find a comfortable position, unknowingly making Joel feel jolts of pleasure run through his body. The way your beautiful ass rubbed against him, god, he could cum in his jeans right now.

“I’m gonna touch you, is that alright?” You nodded, finally settling into a nice position on his lap.

His hands grabbed your breasts through your bra, large hands covering a good portion of it. You felt a flutter run through your body, Joel’s hands surprisingly warm. He kept squeezing and squeezing, making you feel a mixture of embarrassment at his possible thoughts, and a slightly tingly feeling in your lower regions.

His hands pulled the inner corner of your bra outwards, exposing your nipples. They hardened at the cold air, and Joel let the bra flip back, covering them once more. Joel’s hands snaked around your back and undid the bra with a ‘click.’ He guided the bra off your body and began to grope at you once more, this time with more passion, as he felt pure skin to skin contact. You whimpered, getting a weird feeling in your pussy at the way his fingers grazed your nipples. “Joel…” It was a quiet moan, barely a whisper, but Joel sure heard it. It rang in his ears, almost. His cock twitched at the noise, he was already addicted.

“You like it?” His voice was hushed, whispered into your ear. You nodded and bit your lip, a small and breathy “mhmm” leaving your lips. Joel's hands continued the groping movements, massaging your breasts almost, wanting to stay gentle for you. How badly he wanted to pinch your nipples and slap your tits as he fucked you while you hung off the bed, but this will do for now. He continued for a long time, before one of his hands snaked down your body, towards your stomach, down to your belly button and finally to where your jeans started. With one (skilled) hand, he unbuttoned them and slowly pushed his hand down your panties. Fuck. He’s supposed to be teaching you.

“I’m gonna touch your pussy now. It’s gonna feel good sweetie, have you ever played with yourself down here?” 

“N-no…” God, somehow, Joel got even harder hearing that. His heartbeat went up, he loved the fact you were so naive to it all, you definitely needed a man like him to teach you. It would be a waste for a bitch-boy like Xavier to take your pureness, no, you needed a real man to fuck you until you cried. 

Joel hand traced your skin, until he felt your clit. With a smirk on his face, that he was glad you couldn’t see, he began to rub your clit, which made you jump initially. But almost seconds later, you felt incredible pleasure as Joel rubbed circles into your bud.

“Hahhhh. Feels g-good Joel.” He hummed in response, feeling at peace with one hand groping your breast and one hand rubbing your clit. He wanted to wait until you were wet enough before fingering you, you did need a lot of prep for his fat cock. Your moans of pleasure were music to his ears, he loved the way you sounded. You felt him lift you up off his body, and slide out the way so you could sit back on the bed again.

“Let me take these off for you, baby.” Joel kissed your forehead before beginning to remove your pants. Your mind began to race, Joel always used nicknames like ‘sweetie’ or ‘sweetheart’ with you, but never baby. You had wondered if Joel ever saw you more as a friend, you saw him sorta like a mentor, someone to guide you, while also being one of your best friends, but the fact he called you baby made you second guess yourself. I mean, he was helping you prepare for your date tomorrow, so it couldn’t mean he was into you! Right?

“Your legs are so pretty, baby.” His rough hands rubbed your legs as softly as he could, feeling the warm flesh under his. You looked gorgeous like this, spread on his bread, practically naked. Only thing protecting your body from him was the small cloth covering your pussy, and he was seconds away from ripping it off your body. He wasted no time pulling them down, you aided him by lifting up your lower half for a few seconds to pull them off, and moving your legs to push them off completely. There you were, the love of his life, his everything, ready to be eaten like a beautiful apple off the tree. He waited so long for this, pumping his cock to the thought of doing every possible sexual thing to you every night. He dreamt of the way your body looked, and none of his dreams compared to the real thing, you were perfect in his eyes, and he wanted to make you his. 

Joel swiftly took off his shirt, revealing his chest to you, making you stare at him. He had smiled, softly, at you, allowing you to feel less nervous. It was only now you took a good look at his jeans, and there you saw it. The outline of his hard cock, it was a fucking giant! It was long and curved in his jeans, the thickness of it making you gulp. You had tried to say something, but Joel’s face was suddenly shoved in between your legs, and began to lick at your slit.

“Joel!” You moaned out, much louder than you anticipated, squirming around as he licked your pussy. You felt amazing, the mixture between his tongue flicking across your clit, to the way the tip of his fingers prodded your hole, it was pure ecstasy. You kept moaning as he continued to inflict the pleasure upon you, gripping the sheets of his bed as his face buried itself even deeper between your thighs.

“Feels so good… So good.” You moaned out, very drawn out, a weird feeling starting in your lower stomach. You only felt it for a short amount of time before Joel pulled away, a string of saliva connecting him and your pussy.

“You’re so fucking cute baby, let me feel you.” His fingers that went from simply prodding your hole began to push inside you, making you moan out at the way his two thick fingers pressed against your walls. You had covered your face with your hands, whining underneath your fingers at the way his fingers filled you. He couldn’t get enough of the way you reacted.

“Look at what you do to me…” His voice deepened, and you uncovered your face to see him rubbing against his cock. You gasped a little, his hands were so large but they seemed so small compared to his cock, the length and thickness making you curious.

“Is it hard?” You questioned, and his fingers pulled out of you, a small whimper leaving your lips.

“So hard. Wanna see?” You nodded slowly, curious to what it looked like. He unbuttoned his pants, revealing the top part of his boxers, and he slowly pulled them down. You sat up, eye level, and stared closely at it. Suddenly, his cock bounced up, hitting you on the nose with it, making you jump back and Joel lightly laughing.

“Touch it.” You let out your hand a little, touching the pink tip, making it twitch.

“Like this.” Joel grabbed your hand and guided it to wrap around his cock, a tight fist motion. You couldn’t wrap your hands around it all the way, however, which made Joel’s cock twitch once more.

“Good girl. Now move it up and down.” You nodded, looking up at him, and began to make the motion. He groaned, and you watched intensely as his foreskin pulled back to reveal the head of his cock, then went back to hide it once more. You continued this motion, Joel’s groans of satisfaction pushing you to continue further. Your head was then pushed forward, making your lips collide with the head of his cock.

“Yeah that’s right, lick it baby, put it in your mouth.” He kept roughly pushing your head, you forced your mouth open and gagged as Joel shoved your head into his cock. His hand, now pulling your hair, began to use you like a fuck doll while he shoved your head back and forth on his cock. It was rough, and his cock became slobbery with the amount of saliva you were producing from the gagging. He continued this, despite your whines and taps on his thigh, too enamored by the feeling of your warm mouth.

“Fuck baby. This is how you suck cock, you’re doing so well for a virgin.” His tone was sickly sweet, voice groaning in between words. Tears began forming in your eyes before he pulled your head back, letting you properly breathe. You took many deep breaths, coughing in the process as well, before Joel pet your head.

“Sorry, baby. I got a bit ahead of myself, didn’t I?” He let out a chuckle, and you nodded, feeling air come back into your lungs, and he bent down to kiss your puffy and drooling lips.

“I’m sorry baby, you’re just too cute to resist. Especially when you’re all ready for me like this. My gorgeous baby, all mine.” You felt your heart race at his words, all his? You didn’t understand, this was supposed to be a sex-ed lesson, but why was Joel acting like-

“Spread your legs baby.” Joel laid you back on the bed, and you hesitantly spread your legs, still unsure what were Joel’s intentions. He settled himself between your legs, lifting them to wrap them around his lower half. He tapped his cock on your navel a few times, making you twitch at the sensation.

“This might hurt, baby.” He began to push his cock between your lower lips, making you gasp at the sensation. Despite the lubrication you produced, it still hurt as he was pushing.

“Joel!” You groaned out, making him stop as he was halfway.

“Does it hurt, sweetheart?” You nodded, and Joel rubbed your thigh, a form of reassurance to help you with the pain. You both stared at each other, your chest moving up and down while you heavily breathed. Joel’s eyes bore deep into yours, admiring your beautiful flushed face, he thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. He gulped, and continued to push into you as the moments passed. You winced in pain, and he shushed you in a sweet way, letting you whine as whispered small reassurances. Once his cock filled you, Joel looked back up at you, his body pinned over yours.

“How do you feel, baby?” You bit your lip.

“So… Full.” He smiled, grabbing your hand to kiss it.

“You look so pretty like this, no other girl can compare.” You internally winced at his words. You had a feeling this wasn’t a lesson anymore.

“T-Thank you Joel…” His lips planted against your own, and his hand squeezed yours while he drew his hips back. Slowly, he thrusted into you, you squeezed his hand and moaned into his mouth. He continued these movements, hips drawing back and forth at an agonizingly slow pace, he wanted so badly to hold your hips and fuck you until you came, but he held back the urge as he wanted to make you feel good, not only him.

“Fuck baby, you’re s-squeezing me.” His tone was low and shaky. You moaned at his movements, pain long gone as you wanted more.

“Feels good Joel. I like your d-dick.” This drove him over the edge, opting to speed up despite his brain telling him not to. Thankfully, you responded positively by letting out a loud moan and squeezing your eyes shut. His lips began to suck at your neck, thrusting into you at a fast pace now. You were overwhelmed, the feeling in your stomach coming back while he messily sucked at your neck. You gripped the sheets with one hand, and squeezed Joel’s hand at the same time, your throat not being able to form the right words.

“J-Joel. Feels funny…” 

“That means you’re gonna cum baby. Just let it happen baby, I’m gonna cum too.” Joel wanted to last long, he wanted to feel you squeeze his cock for hours, but he was too sensitive from the way your mouth felt earlier. You began to clamp down on his cock, releasing a high-pitched moan as you spasmed around his cock, his body not being able to take it anymore. With one last thrust, he came inside you, cock twitching as your pussy convulsed around him. You both held each other as your orgasms hit its peak, and Joel messily kissed your lips. You and Joel rode out your orgasms before he pulled his cock out, a mess from his cum and your wetness. He sighed and fell on the bed, next to you and took a minute to catch his breath, he was still an old man after all.

“So… That was sex?” You still were taking deep breaths, but Joel’s ‘lesson’ became a bit unclear towards the end.

“Yep.” He was tired, clearly, and he moved your position to be the little spoon, Joel’s arm wrapping around you. Your feeble mind, despite being very innocent, had assumed that Joel’s lesson wasn’t of pure intent, not by the way he was holding you like a lover would. You were slightly uncomfortable, one part telling you it was wrong to be with a man this old, the other liked the way Joel treated you. The issue was you only saw Joel as a friend, you had never seen him as anything more, but you were sure that now he saw you as something deeper.

“I think… I have to go h-” Joel shushed you, and pulled you closer against his warm chest.

“Go to sleep.” You wanted badly to resist, but your body and mind were far too tired to fight against you. You nodded, and cuddled into his hand and began to drift off.

–

The morning after wasn’t too bad, you woke up to see Joel was gone, and your clothes folded in a neat pile in the corner of the bed, a note on top of it.

‘Had work. See you later.’

You sighed, thanking the heavens you didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness. Maybe Joel did see you as a friend after all. You got dressed and quickly head to work, trying to avoid being seen leaving Joel’s apartment. You rushed over to job assignment, not before seeing a huge crowd of people. Curiously, you walked over to see what all the commotion was about, looking around at all the people. You saw a familiar face, Ellie, and pushed through the crowds of people to ask her.

“What happened?” Her face was of displeasure, and she hesitantly told you.

“Some guy got shot dead, bullet to the head. They don’t know who did it, they said he was showing signs of infection, but there’s no bite marks anywhere.”

“Who?” Ellie stayed quiet for a second, before sighing and telling you.

“Xavier.” Your mouth gaped open, tears forming in your eyes as you swallowed a sob, you didn’t want to believe it. You moved away from the crowd, right before FEDRA officers began to tell people to move away from the crime scene. Ellie was right by your side, rubbing your back, assuring you that it was okay.

Joel watched from a distance, a smirk on his face, knowing you only belonged to him. You were his, and now, he was yours as well. You just need a little more time to understand that.

.

taglist: @avengersfan25 @sloanexx​ @flowercrowns-goodvibes​ @aerangi​ @st4rb0y27 !! inbox me to join/remove from the taglist!!!

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - one hundred and two | now you *have* to explain

“I don’t know, auntie.” 

A customer walked up to the counter.

Minsoo covered her phone with her hand. “Y/n?”

You came out of the kitchen. “Yeah?”

“Can you help this customer? My aunt is on the phone.”

“Yeah, you can take it outside if you want.”

“Thank you.” Minsoo said to you before replying to her phone, “I said I don’t know, auntie.”

You helped the customer and about ten minutes later, Minsoo came back over to the counter looking frazzled. “Sorry about that.”

“What was that about?”

“My aunt - San’s mom - was asking me if I’ve seen San and what he was up to and everything. Apparently she heard something was going on with him through her lawyer because he knows someone who knows San’s lawyer.” She rolled her eyes with a sigh.

“Oh? He doesn’t call her?”

Minsoo shook her head. “Not since the emancipation.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “The what?”

“Uhhhhh.”

“I mean, I guess you don’t have to tell me if--”

“San was a Chaebol heir!”

You choked on your own spit. You had no idea how you inhaled it, but you were so surprised you started choking. “A-- what?!” You coughed.

“Shit, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone,” Minsoo whined.

“Then why did you say it?!”

“I don’t know! His mom always plays with my head! I’m sorry!”

“Don’t apologize to me!”

“Ahh!” Minsoo whined.

You laughed. “Well, now you have to explain.”

“Ugh, okay, but don’t tell him I told you.”

“Fine, I won’t.”

“So… ugh, okay. So when San was maybe sixteen, he met Seonghwa in school.”

You nodded.

She nodded. “When San was eighteen, there was this whole big fight in our family, because his dad is the current owner of Choi Electronics - which is like, electronics mostly, but a whole bunch of subsidiaries - and they wanted to merge with another company when he turned twenty.”

You nodded.

“They actually could have merged when he was eighteen, but they decided that he and the daughter of the owner of the other company should be married for like… I don’t  know, security or something, so they had to wait until they both turned twenty. But they made them meet when they were both eighteen.”

“Holy shit. The lives of rich people are insane. That sounds like medieval kingdoms allying with each other.”

“Maybe, I don’t know. A lot of families do it but it’s so archaic.” Minsoo took her phone out of her pocket.

You looked at her quizzically.

“I’m making sure the call ended. If my aunt heard me say that, she’d kill me.” 

You nodded. “Are your parents like his parents at all?”

She put her phone away and grimaced as she thought. “Not as much?”

Your eyebrows lifted in silent questioning.

“Like, my mom is his dad’s younger sister, so she works for the company but never had that kind of pressure, and I never had it either. We’re just not that important.” 

“That must be nice. You get the money but not the responsibility.”

She seemed to weigh something in her mind before continuing. “But… once I tell them I’m dating Seonghwa, we’re probably going to get into a fight… and there’s a good chance I could get cut off.”

“Oh my god. They don’t know?”

She nodded.

“I mean-- not to derail, but would you break up with him for them?”

She looked at you flatly, a face you’ve seen Seonghwa make multiple times when he was displeased by someone or something. You raised your brows in surprise.

“Break up with the lovely nerd-man who’s helping me learn to stick up for myself and who thinks my being chubby is cute or neutral, so I can stay with a family who calls me fat and wants me to be a doormat?”

You pointed at her aggressively. “I TOLD YOU he’d think it was cute!” And banged your fist against the counter in excitement.

“When did you say that?” She laughed.

“Didn’t I? I don’t know, maybe I just thought it. But whatever, I was still right! You’re adorable.”

She laughed bashfully.

“But yeah, don’t break up with him for them.”

“I don’t want to, but I get the feeling that they’re going to give me an ultimatum and I’m going to have to find an apartment soon.” She sighed.

“Maybe you can move in with him; combine your Gundam collection.”

She chuckled.

“But yeah, the San thing, go ahead.”

“So anyway… the fight started because San and the girl had an official meeting - it’s a blind date - and he came back from the meeting saying that he hated her. I never met her, but San called me afterwards and told me everything she said, and she seemed like, uh…”

“A heinous human being?”

“Yeah. Like a real princess who’s used to everyone waiting on them hand and foot, you know?”

You nodded.

“So then he went to his parents and was like ‘I’m not marrying her,’ and they were like, ‘What about the daughter of this other company?’”

“And that obviously wasn’t the point.”

“Yeah. So he told them he didn’t want to marry someone they picked out for him because her dad’s company was doing well because he didn’t want to be miserable for the rest of his life… And they fought for weeks. He got his own lawyer, and this whole court case happened, and he basically had himself legally estranged from the family and got some amount of money from them that I don’t know, and then they cut him off.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, he’s not in any wills anymore or anything.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. I actually uh… I helped my grandma do a sneaky thing and she made my amount of her will larger so I could give it to him.”

“Did you?”

“Of course.”

You held up your fist for her to pound it and she did.

“You’re a solid girl, Minsoo. I’m surprised you weren’t too scared to do it.”

She shook her head. “I’d do anything my grandma would ask me. She was such a beacon of love in our family… and sense.”

“Shame no one else took after her.”

She nodded sadly.

“So were the results of the case their retaliation? Or is that what San wanted?”

“Being written out of the wills was his parent’s requirement. He got whatever money was legally in his name, and gave some of it to Seonghwa to start this café.”

“Oh, wow…” 

You looked around the café. It had never occurred to you that someone as young as Seonghwa being a café owner meant that he had to have a nice chunk of cash on hand to make everything happen. 

“I had no idea. Why has he never said anything? Also… I thought Seonghwa was the owner?”

“He is. San is his investor.”

“Holy shit, I had no idea.”

Minsoo nodded. “Yeah.”

“Did he ever say why he emancipated himself?”

“Not to me. But it’s pretty obvious, I think. He wanted to be in charge of his own life.”

You nodded. “Yeah, I guess all that money is kind of pointless if you can’t live the way you want and are forced to marry someone you don’t even like.”

Minsoo nodded.

The two of you stood in silence for a bit.

“You can not tell him I told you.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

Obviously, you had to talk to him about it.

   previous | main cast | masterlist | next

a/n: Y/n is finally learning all his secrets!

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

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[ragnarokhound]

hey sweetie how are you. I made banana bread for breakfast tomorrow but DON’T touch it till then, it won’t be as good

there’s a post going around about the dynamic of a guard dog character, a lamb, and a wolf (one wants to possess and protect the lamb, one wants to devour it). How do you think jaytimkon fits in this?

ps… 10 things i hate about you? thoughts?

hey sweetie, i'm pretty good uwu had a nice day yesterday walking around my neighborhood with a friend! <3 And ough herrghh mrregghh gragghhhh (<- actively holding myself back from tearing into the banana bread immediately, i'll be strong for you bb but know that you are testing my limits in new and exciting ways)

Putting my responses to both (!! >:0) the jaytimkon and 10 Things ideas under a cut because *deep sigh* it got long lol

BRUH. BRUHHHHHHH. You cannot simply say this to me. You Cannot. Simply. SAY THIS TO ME, YOU'RE NOT SLICK

Once again testing my limits in new and exciting ways because I have a different WIP deadline fast approaching so I simply cannot write more for my actively inspired by guard dog x lamb x wolf jaytimkon WIP to SHOW YOU, in DETAIL, EXACTLY how i think jaytimkon fits into this, BUT

My feelings on this are many, and partially answered in these asks already. But I'll reiterate that they are all three facets simultaneously, baby. Depending on who's talking, they think of themselves as this, that, or the other; the loving, vigilant protector - the helpless, vulnerable bleeding heart - the hungry, slinking interloper. The story I have been brooding over for almost a year now (egads) WILL feature a somewhat slowburn where each of them takes turns realizing which one they are and slowly changing their minds as the narrative progresses and their relationship heats up 🔥w🔥BUT BE PATIENT BECAUSE I SURE HAVE TO BE (*whining and whimpering i crave this banana bread)

P.S. I love the taming of the shrew, and it's absolutely perfect jaytim material are you KIDDING. Cramming two different concepts into one ask. Evil. Diabolical. I love my wife.

10 Things I Hate About You is such a fun movie, and I could honestly see the role of Kate being played equally well by either Tim or Jason lol, and in a somewhat reverse robins style, Dick taking on the role of Bianca. Wally or Kori or [Your Choice Here] in the role of Cameron, wanting to date him. In fact, ohhhh OHHHH okay. Okay bear with me while i cook--

Consider Oldest Child Dick Grayson-Wayne who is super popular, super well loved, everyone wants to date him - but he always begs off because he doesn't want his younger brother, Jason, to be left in the lurch. Standoffish, bookish, i-heard-he-did-time, 'whats it to you' Jason, who has maybe two friends but they go to a different school so he doesn't have anyone to sit with at lunch besides his charming older brother. Dick's party line is, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my bro. Good luck! :)" (Something something, Dick and Jason are both adopted, something something Dick doesn't actually wanna date anyone, send tweet)

NOW. Fast forward to when Dick meets someone he might actually want to date. But to keep the ravenous hordes away from him, he still, regretfully, must stick to his guns. Jason needs to be dating/friends with/hanging out with/etc someone else before he and this person (again, Your Dickship of Choice Here) can boogie down.

Cue Dick nudging Jason out of the blue to strike out on his own and Jason getting squinty-eyed suspicious (and secretly a little hurt) that Dick apparently sees him as some kind of burden to be offloaded or whatever. Thanks bro. :(

Thus, Dick and his prospective SO hatch a Scheme. A Scheme to see Jason Woo'd in such a way to keep the heat off Dick from both the collective horny student body AND his sensitive younger brother. Enter Tim Drake.

Tim transferred this year and people have been speculating like crazy about him. His grades are insane so people think he'll be a nerd, but he skateboards to school so people think he'll be a stoner, but he's crazy athletic so people think he'll be trying out for the swim team or something - but mostly? People don't know shit. He's friendly enough, but stays apart. An enigma. Cuts school at least twice a week, hasn't seemed to pick any one crowd with which to integrate, is unaffiliated with any one piece of the greater student body. The most anyone can really tell is that he's just a little unhinged and strapped for cash. He'll pull some crazy stunts - if you've got the money.

Which makes him perfect.

Cue Shakespearean shenanigans leading to Some Asshole (your choice of Dick notp here) offering to pay Tim if he dates Jason Todd-Wayne. Tim thinks it's kinda stupid and an asshole move at first, but apparently the money is too good for him to pass up. So he bites.

Tim stalkers his way into interacting with Jason (something something Jason shoving Tim against the wall outside a 7-11 after school and snarling in his face, "i know you're following me. the fuck do you want" and Tim smirking at him, "to ask you out." Jason blinking, then dropping him like he's been burned. "Bullshit." Tim shrugging and running to catch up, falling into step beside him. "It's the truth." Huge Jason side-eye.) and events spiral from there.

(Vulnerable conversations. Jason: People look at me like I'm trash. Like I'm one bad day away from snapping and proving that they were right not to trust me all along. Like I don't have feelings that matter. I like that you're not scared of me. I like that you seem to fuckin'... like me. Or whatever. But I don't know how to trust it. Tim: People only want me around when they think they can get something out of me. They don't like me just what I can do for them. You've never made me feel like that. You don't give a shit about what I can do. It makes me want to-- it makes me want to give you things. To do things for you. I dunno. I guess I'm just waiting for you to tell me to fuck off and finally mean it.)

The reveals go badly. Hurt and betrayal on every side. (Turns out Tim needed the money because his mom's dead, dad's in a coma, and the family company that was supposed to keep Tim afloat has gone belly up. All of his parents' money is tied up in trusts and behind red tape. He's on his own.) Jason is pissed at Tim, but pissed at Dick especially.

The brothers fight. It's a doozy. Dick apologizes for going over Jason's head and manipulating things. Jason apologizes for being an asshole and making Dick feel like he has to be the responsible golden child 24/7, and also for punching Dick in the face. They promise to do better. Then Jason tracks Tim down to his shitty apartment (Tim had seemed super nervous the one time Jason had tried to come home with him, and now he thinks he knows why) and bangs on his door. He hasn't been to school in over a week.

They fight. It's great.

("What you did was shitty." "Yeah." "I don't forgive you for it." "...yeah." "So you better start thinking about how you're gonna fuckin' make it up to me." "Y-yeah?" "Yeah. Like fuck I'm missing prom this year when I finally have a fuckin' boyfriend.") (Now kiss)

[don't ask me how old they are/what grades they're in. i simply do not want to contemplate it. i'd call this a college au for my own sanity, but the very premise and interest in social hierarchies is just so inherently high school that it would fall apart lmfao]

[beanghostprincess]

What if…. What if Shanks was ticklish and Buggy was the only person in the world who knows because would you go over and just try and tickle an emperor of the sea? Would you have the balls? I don’t think so. Buggy’s Chopchop ability was the bane of Shanks existence when they were young, but he would insist on being not ticklish at all, even when Buggy’s detached hand was finger walking it’s way up from his arm to his shoulder to his neck and he was already biting his lower lip and shaking because he knew what was coming.

Which also is the problem he’s facing in the current day, because you’d think Haki would help with being ticklish because you can anticipate it coming but it’s even WORSE actually because Buggy can just look at him funny and Shanks is already trembling and giggling because he’s the kind of guy who gets phantom tickles and he knows Buggy well enough to know when he gets the idea.

Buggy is torn between being pleased that he has finally found a weak point and thinking it’s the stupidest thing he ever heard and being mad about it (especially during the time when he’s still in denial about having positive feelings about him as an adult) and between being weirdly… moved? Nostalgic? Trying not to be touched? Because thing is: Shanks only lets him do that. There aren’t many people around who would still dare to try this with Shanks anyways, but let’s say Buggy sees Yasopp just kind of make a grabby motion towards Shanks in jest while they are out drinking and Shanks equally playfully slaps his hand away, which Buggy knows he wouldn’t have done if it was his hand and would have lead to a one sided twenty minute long tickle fight between them when they were younger. Tries real hard not to think about why that pleases him.

I don’t know either I was just struck with the mental image of Buggy with a shit eating grin on his face asking Shanks if he’s suuuuure he’s not ticklish at all? Reaaaally not even a little? While his fingertips lightly draw circles on his neck and Shanks going „NOPE! Ffffhhh. Not, ha-, not at all! Nooooo…“ while visibly holding back laughter. And it’s cute af

This is the sweetest thing ever and I'm dying reading this,,

I love this because I'm sure there are a lot of things Shanks and Buggy did only with each other together when they were kids that feel too personal and intimate to let anybody else do it. Shanks doesn't let other people tickle him, not because of being an emperor, but because that's something Buggy did to him when they were kids and he refuses somebody else to do it. And it's such a simple, stupid thing but,, Imagine these two trying to reconnect. Trying to get along again. And it's hard to be the way they used to be all of a sudden, so it's slow and it takes a lot of time for them to learn about the people they've become without the other. And as you said, Buggy sees the whole thing of Yasopp trying to reach out to Shanks and Shanks not wanting that. There's just this warmth inside of Buggy. Satisfaction. Relief. Whatever this is called. And he hates the feeling of getting soft and weak around Shanks again, but damn, it's just so fucking nice to see him react like that to his own crew, even, when Buggy knows he would never do that to him.

So he tries to prove that theory and after a few more drinks he reaches out to him and places a hand on his hip (trying to play it off like it's nothing and it's not embarrassing at all, when he's actually panicking). And Shanks not only lets him do it but sits closer to him. He places his arm around Buggy's shoulders and keeps laughing at somebody else's joke like nothing happened. He likes his touch and apparently, he keeps wanting more and Buggy hates how much he loves being like this again, even if they've changed. Even if the arm pressing him close it's not the left one like it used to be.

Shanks looks at Buggy smiling, oh so happy and satisfied it makes Buggy go insanely mad. So the clown just rolls his eyes and smirks, and decides to do the thing he always did to piss off Shanks and starts tickling him. His laugh fills the whole place and it's so damn lovely,,, Their crews just ignore them but share knowing looks of "Oh, these two are going to be so damn annoying now if they start getting along again".

And I think that, besides the tickling, there are so many things that they don't let other people do because the other used to do it with them. Like- Buggy let Shanks touch his hair all the time because it felt nice and apparently the redhead loved it, but now he fucking hates it when other people touch it. Shanks doesn't let people tickle him, as you said, but also despises it when somebody drinks from the same bottle/glass as him because he and Buggy used to share bottles of sake in secret back at the Oro Jackson and it brings back old memories. Etc, etc, etc and a thousand things more they did together and refuse to let other people do now.

[jedidiahjunior]

Joy’s sister q&a

So joy had Jennifer, Johanna, Josie, Jana and jordyn over to hang out and do a q&a of generic questions, nothing too salacious.

What about your family are you thankful for?

Joy: how non-confrontational they all are, how they can still hangout even after an agreement (my note: ?????)

What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?

Johanna: wants to learn building stuff like a deck, construction. Also Spanish

Which television family describes your family?

Jennifer: the Bates, joy thinks she should be allowed to say the Duggar family 😅

Who is the most likely to cry over dog commercials?

All: Josie

Who is the least likely to get embarrassed in public?

Jana: joy, maybe Jennifer

What cheers you up when you’ve had a bad day?

Joy: food! Coffee especially

Favorite holiday related memory:

Johanna: making the Easter crafts and cookies

One word to describe the family:

Jennifer: unique (my note: that’s definitely the kindest way to say “99.99999% of the world would NEVER EVER live like us on account of the obvious)

Favorite place you’ve lived?

Jana: the old house, where they lived when Jana was little on account of all the good memories (my note: insane thing to say given what he who shall not be named did there but nostalgia does funny things to a girl)

Best gift ever received?

Jordyn: salvation (my note: 🙄), the American girl dolls she had as a girl (here Josie goes on a tangent about how Tyler tore the head of a doll she was given as a child and Oh Boy do I wish joy had edited that out, especially as Tyler isn’t in jb&ms custody anymore)

Most likely to give good advice?

All: Jana, also joy (my note: of course the 30+ sistermom of 15 gives getter advice than her teenage sisters lmao) Jana will apparently tell it how it is even if it would hurt the person in the moment

Favorite family activity?

Johanna: volleyball, capture the flag. Anything with all of them outside in the summer

A deep passion?

Jennifer: caring for animals

Favorite trip?

Josie: the two month road trip out west (Arkansas to Iowa to Washington to California to Texas to Arkansas again. Not being on tv sure clears up time I guess) also Connecticut

How do you show support to family members?

Jana: babysitting, helping with practical projects (even when not asked)

Talent people don’t know Jordyn has:

Cooking and baking

Current passions/things to learn:

Joy: has recently started baking (only did it once with jinger for the show before)

Josie: what’s to take jumping lessons with her pony

Jennifer: wants to get mini cows (my note: there are mini cows????!?!?? 😍)

Jordyn: wants to improve her volleyball game

Johanna: wants to learn more building and repairing

Jana: learn more medical stuff, whatever that means and also cooking

And then at the end joy gets evy to say the outro spiel which I just…. Think is kind of icky, like family vlogging in general.

[lackadaisy-headcanon-supply-unit]

how do all the lackadaisy characters react to getting sick/how do the handle the situation. Thanks!! :3c

Lumping these two asks together as they are the same request. Ask and ye shall receive! (A collaborative effort between multiple of our authors as it does involve the whole cast.)

ROCKY

Sick? What do you mean sick. In his over twenty-two years of living thus far he's never been sick once. He has the immune system of a titan, what are you talking about.

Questions he whilst leaning heavily on the bar counter for support lest he is knocked to the ground in a feverish pile by this sudden earthquake that apparently no one else is noticing like seriously you guys shouldn't we evacuate the place?!

In his defense, he's right about one thing: illness seems to avoid him as prevalently and miraculously as death itself. He could get stuck in the rain, take cold mud baths, sleep outside in winter snow, hug someone with Spanish flu, taste the pavement of a rat-infested alley and drink raw sewage and still come out of it all fit as a fiddle.

(Whether he carries anything is a different question, though with the various microorganisms inside him he seems to live in an overwhelmingly peaceful coexistence.)

But every rule has exceptions. And since he frequently does end up in all those situations, when once a millennium he comes down with something it's hard to tell the cause.

How he handles it can be summed up in a short answer of: he doesn't. He refuses to acknowledge it until he's physically incapacitated. If asked about it he keeps insisting that he's fine, a-okay, dandy as can be, never has existed a more invigorated healthy young man on Earth. At best he may invent a perfectly unconvincing excuse, like allergies acting up. (Inside underground caves. In winter. When he's never been allergic to anything in his entire life.)

Aside from perhaps unsuccessfully forbidding him from causing more grievous disturbances than usual, people usually opt to just leave him to it, because once he's set his mind on being "fine" logical reasoning and sound advice are only breath wasted. Ever well-intentioned, Mitzi still tells him to get some rest every now and then, yet keeps stumbling into the boy as he's fumbling through whatever that unresting intent has currently possessed him to be doing.

This wouldn't be such an issue with, say, a cold, because regardless of his masochistic eagerness for activity it inevitably does pass, but if it's something that necessitates any amount of bedrest... well, good luck.

For one he hasn't really a place to rest. I mean... there's the car. No one but Ivy at the Lackadaisy seems to know he technically lives in there, and he's not too enthusiastic to disclose it himself; besides anywhere else actually suitable, like in Mitzi's apartment, he'd just feel like a capital nuisance.

But let's suppose a scenario with the ideal location and someone who cares enough to stick by and ensure he actually does stay put. Shouldering such a responsibility, they must be prepared for a minimum of two things.

For one: he's going to be even more unbearably talkative than usual. Because what else is there left for a restless spirit if the flesh is restrained? Nothing but to complain and lament and versify and prattle on incessantly about whatever comes careening hither along a changeful stream of consciousness. Albeit unwittingly, driving others insane with his aimless rambling is how he keeps himself... well, something.

It's like if his mind had to stop running at maximum speed for just a few minutes it would promptly crash for good. Which, for all we know, may really be the case.

(This is just my two cents, but: I think giving him drawing implements and a coloring book or just plain paper might keep him very nicely occupied, as well as relatively quiet. Be sure to provide plenty of paper though, if you don’t want him to start drawing on other things not meant to be drawn on when the supply runs out like an unsupervised kid... unless you welcome the idea of your walls and furniture being covered in doodles.)

The other, possibly more arduous challenge is keeping him inside the room in the first place. Not understanding nor agreeing with his special treatment largely experienced as imprisonment on his end, he seizes each arising opportunity to attempt to weasel away somehow.

And he's a trained escape artist.

Watch him closely but look away for even a second, and you'll find no trace of him left in the room when you look back. Lock him in there, he'll pick the lock in a pinch - or attempt the window, which depending on the floor number may carry various levels of risk. Tie him down (because you're getting desperate by now) and you're likely to stumble into him minutes later by the front door, having already wriggled his way out. Doesn’t matter which knot was used, he knows most of them by heart. (And even if he didn’t happen to, he’s resourceful enough.)

Like I’ve said before, he perseveres in resisting his confinement for as long as he's capable of moving his limbs around and some vague semblance of coherent thought. Even with his brains cooking with delirium one may have to rescue him as he's crawling along on the floor dragging with him the tangle of blankets he was last left swaddled in, not entirely clear on what direction he's headed but by all means dedicated.

He's not above manipulation either, in order to divert his warden’s attention or make them relinquish his firm supervision rooted in concern for his well-being. Because it's not like he's concerned about it; so why should anyone else be? In addition he's unshakably certain that his role in the Lackadaisy's rumrunning force as well as there in general is absolutely vital and requires that he always be available for employment regardless of if he’s even in a proper state for it. (Just look at the latest comic arc, for crying out loud.)

But psst. Here's a little personal tip, for (Y/N) specifically. If reasonable advice hits deaf ears, and cuffing him to a bedpost yields little results other than another mildly baffling escape attraction, there remains one other thing to try with better chances of success... a more hands-on approach, if you catch my drift.

(Cuddling. I'm talking about cuddling. If you've got a good grip on this string bean of a man he is certainly not going anywhere so long as you're vigilant. Doing so, of course, means risking your own health, which he won't fail to coyly point out either; but he'll otherwise put up minimal resistance and ultimately cave in because God knows he’s touch deprived and doesn't get held enough otherwise. Well, by not enough I mean not at all, ever. But that's exactly why it's a good thing you're here, isn't it?)

Overall, as amusing of a story collection to recount as his commonly absurd ailing escapades might provide later down the line, the fact that they very rarely happen is no doubt for the best. He engages in enough troublesome shenanigans as is.

FRECKLE

Surprisingly pragmatic about it. Yep. He's getting symptoms. Looks like he contracted something.

Best be careful about it... mostly because Nina wouldn't allow him running himself ragged anyhow.

Along with other moral virtues he's had honesty drilled into him from kittenhood. And although it's not always an option in... other matters... he's upfront about how he's feeling physically if not much else, and eventually does come to terms with it. (Once he’s confirmed with certainty that it’s not just the general nauseated feeling he gets whenever he thinks too deeply about his “work” nowadays.)

He doesn't want to infect other people, or incur the stern concern of his mother, so at the very least he stays around the house, doing small, mostly undemanding chores. He's aware it's not expected of him nor recommended, but he has a bit of restlessness to him too.

Mostly because, were it bad enough to confine him to bed in a blanketed bundle of suffering incarnate, all he'd be able to think about is that God's wrath finally caught up with him for being a horrible person and this was part of his rightful punishment. Even worse if he got a nasty fever; it's like he's already burning in Hell.

Distractions may be scarce, but if he's been told off from chores for sneezing on the washing-up or exhausting himself with much too overzealous hammering, he opts to read instead. Over the years he's amassed quite the collection of books, renowned classics and youth literature, and most of them still give off the fluttering remnants of a good kind of nostalgia when flipping through the pages.

And besides, immersing himself in someone else's story is far more pleasant than fretting over his own current predicaments.

Some company, from a safe distance of course, will do him wonders as well. Nina is not the most conversational woman around, and aside from checking on him regularly and ensuring his wellbeing they don't make much meaningful contact.

Rocky likely pops in from time to time however, forever enthused to just run his mouth for as long as allowed, and although he may get a bit too bombastic for Calvin's comparative lack of vitality sometimes he appreciates the distraction more than he's able to express it. And, believe it or not, it's not entirely one-sided either. Rocky has developed a keen sense for his quiet cousin's intent to contribute and will more than gladly listen to what he has to say.

He’ll also forward Ivy’s wishes for Calvin to get well soon as she’s just dying to be able to meet with him at the speakeasy again. (Definitely also attaches a teasing remark or two to the message.) Then he’s eventually ushered out by Nina and as soon as his hasty goodbyes are swallowed by the outdoors Calvin finds himself missing the noise already.

The paralyzed stillness of being sick gets to him a lot more than it shows… seeing as it leaves him a little too alone with his own mind. So he sinks into the comfort of old books until he’s incapacitated by a headache and sore eyes, and diligently rakes those seven leaves that had gathered across the back lawn since he last attended to them two hours before, and lingers outside in the garden until warmer hues overtake a sun-painted sky and the evening chill starts to bite, taking in all things green and alive and in motion to remind himself that he’s not a walking corpse. Not yet, anyway.

Due to his mom’s supervision as well as his own eagerness to follow instructions in order to escape his personal limbo as soon as possible, he does tend to recover fairly fast; and he’s a pretty hardy young lad, thank goodness, so it’s all quite uncommon of an ordeal. In short it’s back to the ol’ grindstone in a jiffy; you know, the kind of grindstone that pulverizes mortal lives and churns out dripping blood.

But hey, best not stop and mull over it too long.

IVY

Oh, it's a nightmare for her.

You mean she can't go out in the evenings anymore? Can't go shopping with friends? Can't procure booze with her criminal coworkers? Can't attend dates with her cute new boyfriend? (Well, those last two are one and the same, really.)

These are all vital activities for a young woman like her to pursue! What else is she supposed to do? Rot in her room and steer clear of all fun whilst everyone else keeps going on with their lives?!

Some flimsy cold is nowhere near enough to keep her away from the beloved Lackadaisy. She can still man the café counter with a little sniffle (taking care to sneeze on no one's food) or look absolutely gorgeous on the dancefloor decked in glimmering pearls and feathers with a slightly paler constitution. But if it's bad enough that she simply must stay put...

During classes the still life of an empty dormitory fills with upbeat contemporary tunes from her bedstand radio as she lies upon crumpled bedsheets, clad in her prettiest pajamas, surrounded by an almost ritualistic circle of tissues and magazines whilst flipping through one of the latter with her legs girlishly dangling in the air. This is likely the scene any visitors are greeted by as well.

She looks like she's coping rather well... until verbal contact ensues and she begins her long string of complaints about how she's feeling utterly miserable. Runny nose, sore throat, grating cough, an unshakable sense of fatigue and she can't even go anywhere! Her classmates are off studying or having fun themselves (as well as deliberately avoiding contact with her for obvious reasons), and she's got nothing to look at but patterned wallpaper and pictures of pretty clothes she currently can't even visit the boutiques for.

But once the grievances are shared she promptly guides the spotlight in their direction, upon which they are to share every last bit of information and news about all most recent ongoings in the world of the healthy. It is a requirement (she will not let them go until they oblige), but also an opportunity; they're welcome to spill the beans on how their week has been and any noteworthy things that happened to them and also to just chat with her about whatever else comes up in the process.

Another way she keeps herself involved with the outside world is through the telephone. The local operator can already tell if she's under the weather by the prevalence of hearing her slightly weathered, juvenile voice squeak for connection to mostly one line throughout the day.

Her calls may also be scheduled to a certain hour so that everyone can come up to Mitzi's office and say hi. That "everyone" overwhelmingly ends up being Rocky, who lingers around there a bit more insistently than usual nearing that time frame and never fails to make his presence known by shouting his own greetings and cheerful encouragements of perseverance into the receiver.

She always asks him about Viktor and Calvin since the former disappointingly refuses to engage with her calls, and the latter doesn't visit because boys aren't allowed in the dormitory... and because he's afraid of catching her sickness. (What a chicken.)

You’d better believe they both get a scolding once she’s recovered for not contacting her at all… though you can’t really stay mad at sheepishly apologetic, babyfaced Freckle McMurray, now can you

Supposing the presence of company who’s emotionally close enough, she may also get clingy in the physical sense. Yes, she knows it’s not very courteous to rub your germs all over someone, but oh, her head is just killing her and she’s exhausted and achy and utterly sick of being sick, hence she desperately needs to rest her chin on someone’s shoulder and latch onto their soft warmth. Really, they brought this upon themselves by daring to enter the sniffly lion cub’s den. Now they’re likely not allowed to move for… let’s say the next two hours. Alternatively, until she has to go to the bathroom or ask them to get her something to drink.

Yes, she’s a bit of a princess; and especially when she’s miserable she may occasionally indulge in showering a willing servant with her various requests. Fetch her this, throw away that, bring hot chocolate and snacks, take out the trash, give her attention. But how could you say no to those big, innocent eyes?

If it’s a schoolmate she will absolutely persuade them to skip their classes for the day and spend time with her instead, offering cuddles and gossip. Forgetting, or ignoring rather, that not everyone can afford to be so lax about their education. Though surely, full-time service as a personal maid slash stuffed animal is making a much better use of their time. She promises to do the same when they inevitably catch the illness themselves, if that’s any consolation.

Nightly adventures and consequent loss of sleep aside, she takes decent care of herself overall, so the understimulating agony of quarantined solitude luckily isn’t something she suffers more of than the average person… albeit that little she’s an expert at suffering luxuriously.

VIKTOR

No, he's not sick, you're just lying. The great, the indomitable, the fierce Viktor Vasco never gets sick.

Denial is definitely a big part of it. He will not admit to getting sick until he's too weak to stand, and even then he'll fight anyone who tries to get him to rest.

The boredom is somehow scarier than actual health concerns. Staying at home and being too ill to do anything except think means he'll think. And thinking leads to a whole load of other things that he doesn't want to get into.

Essentially, getting sick is a liability to everything, from his job to his sense of self.

However, good luck on trying to make him better. He will also stubbornly refuse any help that comes his way, will slam his door in the doctor's face and threaten to tear apart anyone who so much as suggests getting him medicine.

His colleagues from Lackadaisy have taken to asking Mrs Bapka, his neighbour, to administer anything they want to give him themselves (he will draw a line at punching an old woman and fellow Slovakian immigrant), or Ivy (no one can successfully dispose of Ivy and her headstrong attitude. No one.)

The last person he had actually listened to when he was sick was a certain Mordecai Heller. Needless to say, that's not the case anymore.

Maybe that's what really makes him so grumpy and reluctant.

ZIB

His immune system is either rock hard or absolute dogshit, there is no in-between. He can go through a crowd of cats with nasty 'bouts of the flu without catching it, but gets bedridden by something as small as a head cold.

Said wonky immune system may be because he tends to drink stuff cut with the most ridiculous ingredients (radiator fluid, coffin varnish, paint, water, mud, you name it he's probably tasted it)

When he gets laid up, he gets laid up hard (innuendo not intended). He has to drag himself out of bed during the worst parts of it and may not even bother, electing to curl up and shiver/cry from the pain/die where he's comfortable. His band members have to literally drag him out of there on those days and force food down his throat so he doesn't wither away

Goddammit you lanky noodle bitch look after your sick ass don't make everyone do it for you

MORDECAI

He hates falling ill with a passion. It's one of many reasons he drinks tea so often: if he does get sick, it won't hit him so hard.

He tends to try and shrug off small stuff (runny nose, mild to moderate headache, aches and pains) to go to work anyway; but he's no fool. If he really feels icky he'll stay at home and look after himself. As much as he hates to do it, he's only got one body and somebody has to look after it.

The Savoys bash/tease him relentlessly whenever he comes in sick. If the mild headache becomes something worth staying at home for, they'll go as far as to try and visit him (or get him to come to them). Is it guilt about ragging him about it, them missing him or just boredom? Hard to tell with those two.

Serafine once teased about playing as his "mama" and looking after him until he's better. Mordecai, in his sickness-muddled mind, flew off the handle at her...Though all the Savoys saw was him almost break a glass in his paws before telling them flatly to get out.

Neither one realized Serafine had hit a nerve until he refused to let them in for a few days after. Whether it was something about his past or Serafine betraying his trust to get him into her group, they let it go and pretended nothing happened once he was back in action (though there was a noticeably thicker wall between him and them)

SERAFINE/NICODEME

Meet the "clingy" duo.

They don't get sick often and have impressive immune systems, what with their past roaming the swamps and other dangerous conditions, but when they do? Oh boy...

They'll either cling to each other in private, or play it up and annoy a hapless colleague.

And by "hapless colleague", I mean Mordecai—because of course it is.

Sickness is less of an actual, preventive ailment, but rather an excuse to show off some dramatic acting skills.

"Oh, cher, I simply cannot move until you bring me some nice warm tea and chocolate!"

"If I die, tell the world I was warm and safe, because of our dear ami, Heller..."

"For crying out loud, you've both got nothing but a cold."

They'll still play it up.

Just because your nose is stuffy doesn't mean the rest of you has to be.

The show must go on, mon cher.

WICK

He gets sick really, really easily. He stays up late at night often, so he doesn't get much rest and his immunity suffers for it.

(Licking rock walls probably doesn't help with that. Muffinhead (affectionate))

He still does work and goes out when he's sick, which results in papers with shitty writing and his friends urging him to go and rest up, "we can go with you another day".

When he's not thinking straight he'll whine to Lacie about how no one wants to see him when he's sick; ignoring the fact that she's either making him food, putting a cold cloth on his head or literally came by just to say hi to him

He's a bit dim sometimes, but he's a loveable dim.

The easiest way to see how sick he is is to mention putting the work on pause or crack a joke at his expense. If he rapidly objects to not working or good-naturedly shrugs off the joke, it's a small thing, nothing to worry about. If all he has to say in response to not working is "I can't" and he tries to defend himself from the joke (or even worse, agrees with it), he's feeling god-awful.

Lacie tends to hide the alcohol away until he's feeling better. During the week or so he's really feeling foggy this actually works, since in his addled state he can't properly look for them.

MITZI (BONUS since she's been getting a fair bit of attention)

Mitzi doesn't get sick. She becomes inconvenienced.

She's also a real bitch when she's sick. It's less of a slipping mask and more of a "I can't be nice when my brain feels too big for my skull"

She'll still grin and bear it for Rocky. He's positively devoted to her, after all; the least she can do is swallow her nasty remarks and come up with something softer for him.

Some cats swear that she never falls ill or has anything happen to her...Usually because once it does happen she locks herself in her office and won't open the door if you're not Horatio or Viktor.

If another cat somehow gets through her door, can put up with her attitude swings and goes out of their way to help her through her illness, she may very well open up a little and talk to them easier. Something as small as a cup of tea during a ravenous headache will convince the then-bitchy queen that you're not all bad-and later that since you put up with her ravenous insults and still helped her, maybe you're worth swallowing her pride for and confiding in.

[longing-for-rain]

Background on the Mx. Thang thing:

So that punkeropercyjackson person who got caught accidentally following you while stalking your blog is responsible for probably half of all anons sent to @atla-confessions. She has developed this weird typing style where she never puts spaces after punctuation marks and repeats the same kinds of insane takes she sent you. The typing style and general level of delulu makes it obvious the anons are coming from her, but she still posts there off anon too and pretends to be multiple people.

She also has this idea that Zutara is a “colonizer” ship that only white people like, and called a Black Zutara shipper “Mx. Thang” in one of the Anons that was clearly sent by her, basically telling her she’s fake because apparently WOC can’t like Zutara. Since then a lot of other people on that blog have been referring to punkeropercyjackson instead as Mx. Thang. She’s also still obsessed with you personally and keeps complaining about your fics and metas.

For some reason you also seem to be the exception to the “don’t talk about other users by name” rule on that blog, which is interesting. Whoever is running the blog seems to have a pretty strong anti Zutara bias.

Lmao someone needs to tell this girlie that the whole "enemies to lovers" vibe is something I only see the appeal of in fictional stories. I don't have the energy to join in on whatever roleplay she's got going on. If she wants me that badly, this isn't the way to go about it smh. Also for clarity, my type is mean femmes, not obnoxious ones who act like preshcoolers. That's just an ick.

Anyways this is making me all the more happy with my resolution to spend less time on tumblr. Some of you have completely lost touch with reality.

[hairstevington]

i can't tune you out (part 1)

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Eddie Munson is an up-and-coming rock and roll artist living in LA. Steve Harrington (under the stage name HARVEST) has been taking the radio by storm lately. When the fans start shipping them together as a couple, Steve and Eddie consider it an opportunity to boost their upcoming albums. There's just one problem - they can't stand each other. (Link to Ao3)

Part 2 Part 3 - the rest on Ao3!

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: Rockstar!Eddie, Indie!Steve, modern day AU, enemies to lovers, slow burn, fake dating/PR relationship, they are both assholes lowkey but they'll get better later in the fic I promise, Drunk!Steve, Nancy is still a heartbreaker, oh look Robin and Chrissy are also here

A/N: Here you have it folks, the much awaited return of Rockstar!Eddie. I've had this story on the backburner for a while now and am so excited to dive into it! Don't worry - I will be updating Flowers and Ink soon, I just got inspired and wrote this first chapter as a little teaser for you all ;)

It all started with a t-shirt. 

Steve was playing his own show the night Robin went to a Corroded Coffin concert with a friend from work. He wasn’t upset or anything, because Robin had been to Steve’s shows countless times in the past. Besides, he didn’t like Corroded Coffin’s music anyway. 

Apparently, Robin liked the show enough to go to the merch table, where she bought a Corroded Coffin t-shirt, and the rest is history.

-

“Ridiculous,” Steve muttered to himself. His dryer was busted AGAIN, which meant he had to call the stupid landlord to have it fixed AGAIN. 

He’d been so busy with shows that he hadn’t had a lot of time to do laundry, and this was him finally catching up. Of course, the damn thing broke. Now he had no clothes. 

He sighed and went to the designated Robin drawer she insisted she have at Steve’s apartment. She was there a lot of nights anyway, so she always kept some pajamas and things just in case. Thank god for Robin’s love of oversized clothing. 

He grabbed the first shirt he saw, threw it on, and headed to the grocery store. 

Steve wasn’t even conscious of what the shirt said. Maybe he should have glanced in the mirror before he left, but he was tired and just needed to get food for the week. He’d been out of town on tour for a while now, so there was nothing at home. 

People were staring at him, but that wasn’t too unusual. His stage name was HARVEST, which was nice because he could separate himself from his music when he wanted to. His persona when he performed was vastly different to the guy wandering a grocery store in his best friend’s clothes, and he liked that. It was freeing. It gave him some semblance of privacy, because most fans of his music didn’t even know his real name. 

The more devoted fans, however…

People took his picture sometimes without asking first. That was common. It wasn’t great, but it was common. Steve was never that concerned with looking ugly on the internet, anyway. Although, if people went up to him and asked, he usually said yes if they were nice about it. 

It took about three hours for the notifications to pour in. Steve ignored them, at first. His publicist would handle whatever it was. But then, Robin called. 

“Steve!” she greeted when he answered. “You wore my shirt out?”

“Uh, yeah?” Steve responded. He looked down to see that it was a band t-shirt. Nothing too crazy about it. “That okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” she assured him. “It’s just funny because somehow now people think you’re Corroded Coffin’s number one fan.”

“That’s…strange,” Steve said, confused. “All because I wore their shirt one time?”

“Yeah, well people looked into it and they found out you and Eddie Munson went to high school together -”

“Ah,” Steve acknowledged, starting to understand. 

“- and now people are shipping you with him and all that.”

“Wait, what?” Steve’s face fell. “They’re - Like, that’s insane. It’s only been a few hours and - I mean, I don’t even know the guy.”

“Yeah, but do you remember that TikTok you made last year?” she asked. “The one where you took the metal song and stripped it down, sang it in your style instead?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so.” 

Steve did that a few times with a variety of genres. He liked taking music to weird and unexpected places. So, sometimes when there was a viral song or sound, he’d put his own spin on it. 

“Okay, well that was a Corroded Coffin song,” Robin explained. 

“It…was?” Steve genuinely had no idea. He didn’t look into the artist before he’d made the video. 

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “You seriously didn’t know?”

“No,” Steve answered. “So, that combined with the t-shirt and now people think I’m having an affair with this guy or something?” He scoffed. He’d never understand why people were so hellbent on creating stories from nothing.

“It’s just the internet, Steve,” Robin replied. “People say all kinds of things.”

“Yeah, but -” Steve sighed, shutting his eyes tightly. It wasn’t just that he was being shipped with some random guy, it was that Steve wasn’t even out yet. It was kind of a whole thing he and his team had been working on. His new album was supposed to announce it, not some random pairing based on zero evidence.

“Yeah, I know,” Robin said. Steve knew she understood completely, even without him saying anything. She knew his sexuality before he did. “I promise it’s not a huge deal. Sorry the internet sucks.”

“Thanks,” Steve responded. He hung up, groaned, and collapsed onto his couch, where he fell into a deep sleep. 

-

“Eddie, we can use this.”

Eddie held back the groan he so desperately wanted to let out. He was on the phone with his manager, Carla, who had just told him that people online were pairing him with some other musician that Eddie had heard on the radio a few times and - yikes. It wasn’t his vibe. 

“Use it for…?” he asked, completely nonplussed. He picked up a rubber band ball on his desk and rolled it around in his hands. 

“You both have albums coming out soon,” she continued. “So, if you’re dating him then - I mean, think of the publicity.”

“Dating him?” Eddie echoed, confused. “Aren’t we jumping the gun, here? Do we even know if this dude likes other dudes in the first place?”

“No, but you should find out,” Carla insisted. “I mean, it’s HARVEST, Eddie. His music is everywhere right now.”

Eddie knew that much, at least. He didn’t listen to the music when he could help it, but people talked about it all the time. The mysterious HARVEST who wore disguises on stage and left cryptic posts on social media. Eddie couldn’t think of a single person he wanted to date less, and he didn’t even know the guy’s name or what he looked like. 

Eddie, on the other hand, had been busting his ass to maintain the little audience he’d accumulated over the last five years. Corroded Coffin started as a high school passion project, then devolved into a more serious band that played sporadic shows in his hometown, and then went through a series of changes and replacements until Eddie was the only original part of it that remained. Well, that and the name, of course. 

Eddie Munson. Corroded Coffin. They were pretty much synonymous at this point. The fans he had knew who he was and what he looked like. He rarely used social media, but when he interacted with fans he was blunt and to the point. No games. No mystery. This HARVEST guy kinda seemed like a tool. 

“Yeah, I’ll pass,” Eddie said, snapping one of the rubber bands rhythmically. 

“Eddie,” Carla prodded. “If you do this, you’ll blow up. Think of what you could do with the money. Merch. A tour. A vacation. A new house. Whatever you wanted, you could get.”

Money sounded nice, but it’s not like Eddie was living in poverty or anything. Well, he was in a tiny apartment in a shitty area of town, but it was Los Angeles. Who could afford anything more than that? Besides, he’d lived in places that small and shitty his whole life. Then again, he’d never had any other choice. Money would give him the choice. 

The popularity aspect was also intriguing, because Eddie loved attention almost as much as he loved music. Sure, there were downsides to fame, but he adored the glimpses of it he’d had so far, and it’s not like being around HARVEST was going to turn him into Leo DiCaprio or something. 

“Okay, so if I agree to this, what does that mean? Do you want me to DM him or something?”

“Actually,” Carla said. The playfulness in her tone caused Eddie to drop the rubber-band ball, because she only talked like that when she had a creative idea that he tended not to like. “He’s going to be at this launch party tonight that I may or may not have gotten you an invite to…”

Yup. That sounds about right. 

“So you want me to crash the party and proposition this guy?” Eddie asked. 

“Of course not,” she replied. “You’re invited, so it’s not crashing.”

Eddie had to chuckle at that one. She was a sneaky one, sometimes, and damn good at her job. 

“Fine,” Eddie agreed. “Send me the details and I might go.”

“Will do!” Carla responded. He could hear how excited this made her, and he was glad at least one of them was into this whole thing. “You don’t have to do anything too wild, okay? Even if you’re just spotted with him, it will spread the narrative that something is going on. Deal?”

It felt a little gross to go somewhere just to track a random guy down and cling to him for popularity. It was kind of a dick move, really. Then again, Eddie was kind of a dick. 

“Deal,” he replied. 

-

“This will never not be the coolest thing to ever happen to me,” Robin said, as she always does when Steve takes her as his plus one to events.

“Yeah, well since Nancy dumped my ass, get used to it,” he teased. “You’ll be filling in for a while.” Steve nudged her shoulder, causing her to laugh. She was wearing this beautiful, brand new jumpsuit. It was pressed and ironed and cost almost a full paycheck. Lucky for her, she didn’t have to pay for it. Steve was doing pretty damn well for himself financially.

The Uber driver pulled up to the bar and dropped them off. Since it was the grand opening or something, the place was entirely closed off and only people on a list were allowed in. 

“Name?” the security guard said at the door. 

“Uh,” Steve stuttered. He never knew which name was on these stupid lists. “Steve Harrington, and my guest.” He gestured to Robin beside him, who blushed. 

The security guard nodded, crossed them off, then opened the door for them to go inside. 

“Holy shit!” Robin said as they walked in. The place was nice, even by Steve’s standards. They headed to the bar to order their first round of drinks. 

Steve went to these kinds of things pretty often - he’d go, have a few drinks, hang out with people, then do it all again a few weeks later. He enjoyed them, for the most part. 

Well, except for one thing. 

Steve choosing to do music under the stage name HARVEST was great in a lot of ways. It was kind of like the whole Miley Cyrus vs Hannah Montana thing, except Steve wasn’t gonna show up to these parties wearing sunglasses, a wig, and an ugly vest - his signature look when he performed. He showed up as Steve, who was a nobody, and that felt kind of lame. To everyone else at the party, he just looked like a normal guy. Even Robin stood out more than he did. 

Steve had this whole thing where HARVEST rarely posted anything or did interviews, and when he did he was in disguise and using a voice changer. It started as a joke and then just…stuck. HARVEST was a completely separate entity from Steve. HARVEST was all the parts of him that made him popular in high school, and Steve was whatever was left underneath. 

He and Robin enjoyed the night anyway. They were handing out some sponsored cocktail throughout the night until everyone was good and drunk. Whatever was in that thing was lethal. Steve had only had two and he was feeling pretty tipsy. Robin was already on the dance floor after one. She’d pulled him to the photo area while a slower song played, urging him to get a picture with her and commemorate the night before she got too sweaty from dancing. 

They held up their branded glasses and smiled. The light flashed so bright they both winced, then laughed at their dramatic reaction. When they began stumbling away from the camera, Robin paused. 

“What?” Steve asked, confused. 

“Eddie Munson is here,” she said. 

“Where?” Steve asked. She pointed vaguely in Eddie’s direction, trying to act like she was just playing with her hair. Steve searched the room until his eyes locked in on the curly-haired brunette that the world wanted him to be with, apparently. Eddie was at the bar, talking up some of the other guests. “What is he doing here?” Robin shrugged. 

Steve had never seen Eddie at one of these parties before. His band wasn’t really that popular. Their only claim to fame so far was a chorus of one of their songs going viral on TikTok. Then, like an idiot, Steve had done a cover of the damn song, and now he was in a whole mess of a situation. Eddie Munson was going to inadvertently reveal Steve’s bisexuality before his album even came out. 

It wasn’t Eddie’s fault, and Steve knew that. Fans were going to say what they were gonna say. But still, Eddie being at the party was a crazy coincidence, considering the circumstances. 

Steve took a sip from his third cocktail and decided not to think about it. 

-

Eddie had never in his life been invited to something like this before. He’d had to talk to a guard and get let in, like some bigshot celebrity. If being around this HARVEST guy gave Eddie more opportunities to go to shit like this, maybe it was worth it. 

Once he got inside, he went to the bar to get a drink. They were serving some cocktail that Eddie had no interest in drinking, so he ordered a whiskey on the rocks as he chatted with the people around him. They were all nice, although it was a bit too loud to have any actual conversation. Plus, most of the guests were well on their way to being drunk. 

All in all, it was Eddie’s exact kind of chaos. 

He scanned the room for a man that matched his only reference point of what HARVEST looked like. Eddie had seen a few pictures of him on stage, and his outfits were always a little out there. He had different hair every time, but his absurd style stayed consistent. 

Nobody at this goddamn party looked like that. 

“Hey,” Eddie said after nudging the person beside him. “You know where HARVEST is?”

He realized as soon as he asked that he probably could have just Googled him to see what he looked like. Whatever. 

“Uhh, you mean Steve?” the woman responded. “He’s here somewhere. His date is in this gorgeous glittery blue jumpsuit. Find her and you’ll find him. He follows her like a shadow.” She finished her description with a light chuckle. Eddie turned back to face the rest of the bar and continued searching the crowd.

Okay, first of all - Steve? The man, the myth, the legend known as HARVEST was actually just…a guy named Steve? Eddie almost burst out laughing. 

Secondly, he brought a date. Of course he brought a date. A woman, at that. Eddie wasn’t cool enough to have a plus one, but Steve on the other hand…

Wow. Eddie didn’t think he’d be able to find the glittery jumpsuit as fast as he did, but it really was a dead giveaway. It sparkled under the lights of the bar, and the girl next to Eddie was right - it was gorgeous. Steve’s date was gorgeous overall, actually. No wonder he was following her around. 

“Him?” Eddie asked, pointing to the guy dancing with the woman in the jumpsuit. 

“Yup,” the guest at the bar confirmed. She took the last sip of her cocktail and set the glass down on the counter. “So, do you wanna dance?”

Eddie froze. He wasn’t a huge fan of dancing in public, and he also wasn’t sure if this dance was just a dance or if it was something else. 

“Well, I, uhhhh -” he began. “I mean, I’m like - ya know - gay.” She laughed in response, her face red from the alcohol. 

“No shit,” she replied. “You obviously have heart eyes for Steve, and he’s dancing with someone else, so let’s go out there and you can make him jealous and I can dance until someone who likes women steals me away.”

Eddie grinned. This chick was dope. He held out his hand for her to take it, and then he walked her to the dance floor. He figured that he could strike up a conversation, get Steve to take a picture with him at the photo area, and then call it a night. 

“What’s your name, by the way?” he yelled over the music. 

“Chrissy!” she yelled back. 

“Eddie!” he responded. She smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but notice how drop-dead gorgeous she was, too. Everyone at this party was perfect-looking, actually, and it was intimidating and weird. Eddie was grateful he'd decided to wear his nicer clothes. 

And then they danced. Eddie did his best to jump to the music and twirl Chrissy around. Over the course of the first song she managed to glide them through the crowd and strategically place them right by Steve. 

Chrissy was a total boss. 

“STEVE!” she shouted, acting much drunker than she actually was. She threw her arms around Steve, who returned the hug with a warm smile. “How are you?”

Steve said something, but it was so loud on the dance floor that Eddie couldn’t hear it.

“I’M ROBIN,” blue jumpsuit woman said. She looked like she was having the time of her life. “NICE TO MEET YOU!”

“YOU TOO!” Chrissy replied. She turned to Eddie. “THIS IS MY FRIEND EDDIE!”

Oh, shit. Okay then. 

Robin and Steve just kinda looked at him and didn’t say anything for a moment. There was no equally loud greeting for Eddie Munson, no sir. He immediately felt judged, and almost bolted right out of there. He didn’t fit in with this crowd at all. 

“H-hi, Eddie!” Robin finally said. “I actually know you! I went to your show a few weeks ago!”

“Woah, really?” Eddie responded, shocked. Nobody had recognized him here, yet. Maybe he wasn’t so different from these people after all. 

“YOU’RE A MUSICIAN, TOO?” Chrissy asked, amazed. Eddie nodded. Suddenly, the most beautiful man Eddie had ever seen approached Chrissy and asked her to dance. He recognized the guy as this famous actor who’d been in a ton of movies. Score for Chrissy, although she was perfect, too, and barely fazed. Instead, she took the actor’s hand and smiled. “GOTTA GO, SEE YOU GUYS LATER!”

And then, she was off. What a crazy life these people led.

Steve spoke again, but only Robin could hear him properly. She nodded, then gestured for Eddie to follow them to a less loud part of the bar. 

“Much better,” Steve said once they could all hear themselves think again. The light in the bar was dim, so it was hard to make out all of Steve’s features, but Eddie could have sworn he looked familiar. “So, you’re the famous Eddie Munson?”

Eddie thought for sure he’d heard Steve wrong. Like, he must have, because no way in hell Eddie could be considered famous among this group of people. Unless Steve was being condescending, in which case…ugh. Sure, whatever. 

“I - I mean, yeah,” Eddie replied. He turned back to Robin, who he already liked more than Steve. “So, you’ve seen Corroded Coffin in concert?”

“Yeah!” she said, her face lighting up at the question. 

“Why?” Eddie asked before he could stop himself. Robin and Steve laughed. “I just mean, you’re not really my usual demographic -”

“I’m full of surprises, Eddie,” she teased. “Okay, so I only went because my friend had an extra ticket, but still.”

“Ouch,” Eddie responded with a laugh, clutching his heart as if he’d genuinely been distraught. 

“What the fuck is in these things?” Steve said, staring intently at the drink in his hand. 

“It’s basically a long island iced tea with all their cheapest liquor and a splash of sprite,” Eddie answered plainly.

“How did you know that?” Robin asked, amused. 

“I asked,” Eddie replied with a shrug. 

“The bartender?” Robin pressed. Eddie nodded. 

“Yeah. I have this thing where I never shut up, so I tend to talk to everyone,” Eddie joked. Well, it wasn’t really a joke. “Anyway, how many have you had?” Steve’s brow furrowed as he desperately tried to remember his drink tally.

“One more than he should have had, apparently,” Robin said, taking the glass from Steve and setting it down on a table. “I’ll go get him some water.” 

She disappeared with no further warning, leaving Eddie alone with Steve. Am I supposed to babysit this guy until she comes back or something?

“So, you and Robin,” Eddie said, shifting back and forth on his feet. He really could not for the life of him stop talking, especially with whiskey coursing through him. “Are you guys, like -?”

“Just friends,” Steve snapped back. He almost seemed pissed at the question. “She’s been my best friend for, god, I dunno, since college.”

“Cool,” Eddie replied. Steve was clearly very drunk, and Eddie wasn’t sure how much of that was contributing to his standoffishness. “Are you okay, man?”

“Why're you even here, dude?” Steve asked, his words slurred. “What made you come here?”

“Uhhh, I was invited?” Eddie answered. This guy’s a real trip.

“So it wasn’t because strangers online want us to be together, and if that happens you get more fame or whatever?”

Oh, damn. While that's exactly what was happening, Eddie sure as hell wasn't going to admit it. To save face, Eddie did what he did best - he defaulted to assholery.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” he responded. “I’m here for the same reason you are.”

“So, it’s a total coincidence that I see you at one of these things for the first time the same day people started talking about us online?”

“Maybe I’ve been to a ton of these parties and you’ve just never noticed,” Eddie retorted. 

“I doubt it,” Steve shot back. 

“Why?”

“Because you’re hard to miss, Munson. Always have been,” Steve replied. 

“Always?” Eddie echoed, confused. Then, the lights hit Steve’s face and illuminated it entirely. Enough for Eddie to remember where he’d seen him before. 

“Got your water!” Robin announced as she returned. She handed Steve the new glass, and he took it without breaking eye contact with Eddie. 

“Ohhhh my god,” Eddie said, stunned. “You're Steve Harrington. HARVEST is Steve goddamn Harrington.”

“Sure is,” Steve replied, his voice even. 

“I missed something, didn’t I?” Robin asked. 

“I mean, kind of,” Eddie said, raising his voice. “Just a couple years of King Steve bullying the school Freak.” Robin turned to Steve, alarmed. 

“Wait, you bullied him?” 

“How did you not know it was me?” Steve asked, getting agitated now. “Did you seriously come here to try to mooch off me without even doing your research first?”

“I never said I came here for you,” Eddie replied. 

“You didn’t deny it either,” Steve reminded him. “You still aren’t, by the way.”

“Okay, fine!” Eddie relented. “You caught me. I came here to cash in on your fame, like some poor commoner in need of charity, and I didn’t even bother to look you up first because honestly? Your music kinda sucks.”

“Oh, I definitely missed something,” Robin muttered nervously. 

“You wanna talk about shitty music?” Steve said through gritted teeth. 

“Okay!” Robin interjected, inserting herself between them. “No more of this. It was nice meeting you, Eddie, but I think we should split.” 

“No need,” Eddie replied. “You stay, I’ll go. You’re the ones who belong here anyway.” He did a slight bow and walked away, leaving Robin and Steve behind. 

So much for fame. 

-

@lemondar93 i thought the whole #steddie thing was a reach but saw them together tonight and uhhhh 👀 idk there's something there

@izzierosieb wait omg at the Frolique grand opening? How tf did you get in??

@lemondar93 suuuuper lucky! Matty was supposed to go but he’s sick and I was backup!

@geegeedaheed tell us everything!!!!

@julijmonroe if steddie is real I will actually lose my mind wtf

@chasityseventeen no fr because we have so little and yet I’m already INVESTED

@belloca123 NOT THERE ALREADY BEING FANART OF THEM AHAHAHAHA

@camerohno Everyone just remember that these are real people and we shouldn’t be speculating about their lives even though they’re obviously secretly married

@lemondar93 LMAO

-

Steve woke up the next morning with the hangover from hell. After Eddie left, he and Robin stuck around for another song or two before heading out themselves. 

Steve never really liked Eddie that much in high school because he was a show-off. He loved making a scene in the cafeteria and he always acted like he was better than everyone else just because he refused to like anything that was popular. Sports, music, TV shows. They were never going to be friends, because Steve usually liked the stuff that other people liked. He used to follow the pack, so to speak, and do what the people around him expected him to do. Eddie tended to do the opposite. Eddie was abrasive and loud and obnoxious. 

Back in high school, anyway. Steve knew that people had the capability to change (after all, he sure did), but after reuniting with Eddie at the bar, he was skeptical any growth or development had actually occurred in the last six years. 

Eddie was still a dick, and Steve had no interest in ever seeing him again. 

He pulled out his phone to see that it was still blowing up. There was a new tag trending - #steddie. Yikes. He’d also gotten even more followers. Then, another update caught his eye. 

His new album had double the pre-orders it had the night before. 

He’d put his heart and soul into this album, and he wanted more than anything for it to be recognized. He was popular, yeah, but mostly for a couple singles that played on the radio all the time. This album was a piece of art from top to bottom that Steve had painstakingly planned and created from scratch. 

Maybe. Maybe this stupid ship with Eddie Munson could be worth something. But not enough to contact the guy. No way. 

Steve opened his Instagram and then felt his heart drop. 

@nancywheeler: Life hack - date a photographer so you get amazing candids on vacation 💕

It hadn’t even been that long since Nancy left Steve for Jonathan Byers. Well, maybe it had been long enough, but still. Cute couple’s posts already? 

Oh, no. Steve wanted Nancy to feel like he did, and he knew what would do the trick. She was always a bit of the jealous type.

God dammit.

(Part 2!)

---------------------------------------

@paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingscatworld @thefruityfours @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @steviesbicrisis @gamerdano @menamesniall eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth @mnl-enuh @redfreckledwolf @itsanarrum @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @gregre369 @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @aryakanojiaa @wrenisflying @comicmadlover @lilacrobin @itch-my-b0nez @anonymousbandgirl @disastardly @dangdirtydemons @daisyellsong @val-from-lawrence @starryeyedpoet17 @taikawaiteatea @clumsiluni @hollysimone @swimmingbirdrunningrock @witchofhawkins @steddiegarbage @suddenlyinlove @ricekristytreaty @eddielives1986

[theflagscene]

Wait! How!? When!? Where!? How is White suddenly there!? How did Tee meet White!? You can’t just play upbeat music and have the boys running around to show the passage of time and not explain how the fucking villain of the story got the most adorably innocent lil princess boyfriend on the planet!

Phee, bringing Jin on a date to the same place you and Non liked to go is just weird. I hate people who use the same ‘date’ spots for their new partners that they used with their past partners and no, this isn’t me projecting, why do you ask!? Lmao 😂 shut up it’s still tacky af

‘Friend’ the dreaded word.

What is with the ass slapping and window sex!? I mean, I get that they’re supposed to 18 year old boys, who are by definition perverted, but that was some porn level shit. Also, again, no prep. Phee wasn’t even the one blown so it’s not like they were even using spit for lube, or an already lubed condom. What is this, another ABO show? Just having the dudes slick and sliding all over one another apparently.

Ta’s got a decent ass at least, good for him.

“Did you cheat on my brother?” Nah, pretty sure they broke up when Phee saw him being raw dogged by the teacher and then told him to go die, but whatever helps you sleep at night Tan.

“Don’t fall in love with him.” Yeah, I think it’s too late for that.

Oh, mom is not looking so great. Hmm, something tells me that video isn’t real. Mom knows what’s up, it’s finally hit her, her baby’s dead. The actress did a fantastic job of a mother realizing the truth of the death of her child, it’s a startling realization that does take your legs out from under you. Your mind blanks, you can’t think about anything but the last time you saw them, the last terrible thing you said, all you can do is try not to scream. - That got a little too dark and real, sorry.

news.boc.com Cute BoC, very cute.

How long were Phee and Jin supposed to have been fucking by now? Weeks? Months? Because Jin has gotten very emotionally invested very quickly, which is appropriate for teenagers I suppose.

Two years, so they’d be in their what, second year of uni? Tan has gone full mad scientist I see.

Wait, he called to tell Tan that his mom was dead and it was her funeral that day and he just showed tf up! When his dad thought he was still in England!? Lmao, that’s fricking hilarious. I know, I know, wrong reaction to this scene but I’m weird, what can I say.

Oops, bye bye daddy. No wonder Tan is so fucking nuts! That would drive anyone insane. He literally needs Non to be alive otherwise he’s lost everything for nothing.

Is Tan his own guinea pig for his drugs!? Jesus dude, get some help.

Question, were Phee and Jin fucking during their time at university too? Or are you telling me all this ‘I love him’ crap was from one night of decent dick and a few ‘best friend dates’? Like the math ain’t mathing, establish a better timeline here for me when it comes to their relationship because in the first episode it made it seem like they were screwing around for a really long time, months at the very least. But now it seems like they fucked around a couple times in one 12 hour period, Jin decided that was enough to wanna date, caught Phee in a mood because of the fake news report and then they just… what? Kept fucking? Stopped? Jin carried a torch for him for over two years after one night together? Acted like a scorned lover for years because of a single teenaged tryst? Not to be that guy, but girl, you’re coming off a little desperate. I need a more accurate timeline!!!

“This won’t kill them.” Tan, could you try and be a tad more convincing when saying that?

That was a fantastic look from Tan to end on, ngl. Although someone needs to save baby White!

Next episode, we’re back in the present for the most part it seems. Jin somehow still trusts Phee, Fluke somehow gets the gun back and oh look, he holds White hostage, poor bb did nothing, leave him alone! And Tee clearly does know what happened to both Non and Keng as he runs up onto the roof where his uncle is to see the pair… unconscious? Dead? One of each?

I want some backstory about how White fits into all of this next time as well, that would be great. Although considering how little the timeline of events during grade 12 are fully explained, I doubt knowing more about White would make very much sense at this point.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🔽🔽🔽🔽🔽🔽🔽🔽🔽🔽🔽

YEAH! Finally some TWATYTK asks (this is next up on my 'chapters I need to finish' list)

30 for ⚡️:

---

“That’s because this is the best trip of my life,” Buck informs him.

Eddie grins. “So far.”

Buck likes the sound of that. 

“So far.”

And as they start talking about all of it, all the things they’re going to do, they start including that second kid. Inadvertently, at first. But nevertheless. 

“There’s always Disneyworld. Like Florida,” Buck mentions, talking about future vacations.

“Oh, but that sucks with a baby,” Eddie shakes his head. 

“True,” Buck frowns. “Disneyworld, in several years?”

“But then will Chris be too old?”

“Are we assuming Chris will age out of wanting to have fun, Eddie? Because if so, I didn’t get the memo.”

“You’re right,” Eddie says. “So we just wait until he’s old enough for it to be bearable.”

“Wait, what? I thought you just said he’d be too old?” 

“I didn’t mean Chris,” Eddie says. “I meant… You know, the other kid.”

“You said he,” Buck points out.

“Oh, did I?” Eddie frowns. 

“You’re just banking on that, huh?” Buck smirks.

“Well, uh…” Eddie shrugs.

---

33 for 🧟‍♀️:

---

“So it’s someone else.”

“Lot’s of action in Sunport lately,” Hen mumbles.

Not that she’s not… Well, obviously she’s glad to have Athena, May, and Harry back in town. They’ve been friends for years. She thought about Athena and wondered what had happened to her. Having answers, having her here? It’s good. And, of course, she thrilled for Buck. Kid hadn’t stopped fretting over his sister for months, and she understands why. Plus, having a nurse around can only help them. Really, having Maddie around is a blessing. She has no idea about Eddie. He seems fine. She likes his kid. More importantly, Denny likes his kid. But she’s not really expecting him to be around for long.

So it’s not that Hen isn’t glad for all the action in Sunport lately. But how many visitors can be good, honest, helpful people before the opposite type shows up? Hen is full of worry. 

“So what do we do?” Chimney asks. “We can’t just ignore it.”

“No, but we don’t want to go running after shadows in the middle of the night, either,” Bobby says. “That’s an easy way to get hurt.”

“I agree,” Hen says. “We’re not risking anyone.”

“No,” Bobby agrees. “We aren’t.”

“We can take turns watching from the roof?” Athena suggests. “Extra precaution? Until the morning.”

---

33 for 🔼:

---

By the time Buck recertifies for active duty, he and Shannon are basically back to normal. Or, well, a new normal. Because what was ever normal for them, really? The point is, they had a long, awkward conversation, and they’re firmly just friends. Which Buck is really glad and somewhat surprised about. He did not think Eddie would want them being friends and he definitely would have defaulted to whatever Eddie wanted of him. But Eddie was insistent. 

“I don’t want either of you avoiding each other because of me,” he’d said. “Seriously.”

So they talked. Acknowledged a mutual attraction they aren’t going to act on. For so many obvious reasons. And they moved on. 

Apparently, they’ve moved on so effectively, that here Shannon is. In Bobby and Athena’s house. At a surprise party for Buck. That she helped his sister and Athena pull together. Kind of crazy, if he’s being honest. 

He’s riding a pretty significant high, though, so he doesn’t think too much about it. He passed. He cleared. He’s going back to work. It’s all he can think about. Being back where he belongs. Maybe if his head was clearer, he’d think about how wild it is that Shannon is here for him tonight. In a room of people who know Eddie, love Eddie, and know some of what’s going on between them, when he knows how insecure she was about that when they started talking. He might think it’s insane she even wants to help throw a party for him at all. But all he can do, tonight, is bask in his own joy. 

He’s hugging everyone. Eddie. Bobby.

[idontplaytrack]

✧ Tough

Rosa Diaz x teen daughter! reader

Warnings: none?

In which, Rosa comes down with a cold and the squad shoos her home but she refuses- so reader comes to the rescue

“You look like hell, Rosa.”

“I’m fine.” Rosa spat.

“No, you are not.” Jake continues. Rosa only rolled her eyes before resuming her work. “Lieu, would you please tell her she looks like crap.”

Jeffords turned around and said, “You look like crap.”

“I’m working.”

“You’re sick. Literally not one of us have seen you this pale.” Terry continues.

“At least take this.” Charles put a pill on her desk- an antihistamine.

“No.”

“Ha ha.” Amy quipped, “I called your daughter.”

“Amy, are you insane? Why would you do that?” Rosa laid back in her seat, “Why would you call my daughter over this?”

“Because out of everyone you know, I know you’d listen to her.” Amy shrugged.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

“No, you are not.” Amy replies calmly, “Just go home and take it easy for the rest of the day.”

“But you might want to wait for your daughter to get here.” Holt’s voice cut through the room. “I do not think it is safe for you to make your own way home. She should be here in 16 minutes. Her school has let out for the day.”

“Whaaat? Still crazy to hear that.” Jake laughs.

“Get back to work.” Terry reminded, “Rosa stop doing your work.”

“Fine, whatever.” She gave up, saving the document onto her desktop then just laid back in her chair to wait for you.

————

“Bye, Rosa.” Jake grins. Rosa grumbles, putting her jacket on while you went to press the lift button.

“You know, I love you but I don’t see how having you take a detour to go home with me will keep either of us safer.”

“Okay, but it did shut them up, didn’t it?”

Rosa chuckles, “Didn’t you have something on?”

“I did. But I decided not to go.”

“I’m a little afraid to ask, but why?”

“That’s a problem for another day. You just focus on resting today.” You told her.

“y/n.” She warned.

“The guy’s a douchebag.” You gave in, “Apparently he orders the most expensive thing on the menu then makes his date pay every time. And he doesn’t exactly take no for an answer, if you get what I mean.”

“Okay, that’s good- don’t ever feel like you need to go on dates because you don’t want to cancel on people.”

“I know.” You assured, “How are you feeling?”

“Never felt this sick in 10 years.” She snorted, “But, I bounce back quick.”

“That’d be right.” You stifled a laugh, “I’ll make us some soup when we get back- and you, take a shower and get into bed.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She joked, “I’m tough.”

“Oh, there’s no denying that.” You put an arm around her, and you see a tiny little smile tug on her lips, “You are tough. You’re a badass.”

“I mean, so are you, y’know?” She continues.

“Barely.”

“Please, you’re my daughter. I taught you everything you know. You’re a badass too, mamita.”

“Oh, boy we need to get you into bed.”

“y/n, I’m not trying to be funny.”

“You realise none of my dates have went well so far?”

“So? It’s not your fault the people who’ve tried to take you out are jerks or you just didn’t vibe with them.”

“Maybe I’m the problem.”

“No one’s perfect but you can’t say that because I see you as you are and I can confidently say you’re a good person.” Rosa spoke tiredly, “There are plenty of people in the city. You’ll meet someone before you know it.”

“You mean it?”

“Fuck do you mean? Of course I do.” She answered straightforwardly, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Ah…I guess after three suckish dates in a row, my confidence has taken a hit. But thanks, Mom.”

The rest of your walk home was rather quiet with Rosa trying to keep warm in this chilly weather while her body temperature rose. So, once you both got home, you quickly turned the heat up so she would be more comfortable. “I’m gonna take a shower now, then I’m off to bed.”

“Good, you’d better. I’ll wake you up when the food’s done so you can eat some then take something for your fever.”

“Okay, honey.” Rosa rolled her eyes playfully, “Be careful.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I said that first.”