#but yk what idc he’s such an asshole. maybe i do hate him

[titsthedamnseason]

Why are u a Charlie hater? Perhaps I just sympathise with him too much but I really feel as though it takes a certain type of person to get him yk?

Also this isn't me hating on your opinion or anything bc obv it's yours I just like to know details, also lmk if you're ever down to talk more in depth about the series?

i’m not a charlie hater 🤷‍♀️ i’m sure i have used that phrase before but i definitely mean it more like im giving off negative vibes / opinions as in im being a hater but not that i hate charlie. sorry if that makes no sense im insane. what i mean is that yes i guess im a charlie hater but that does not mean i hate charlie or dont like anything about his character or think he’s entirely irredeemable.

also, please talk to me about this series literally ANY time! it’s basically my full time job outside of my actual full time job. there is nothing i enjoy more 🥰 literally any time, any topic i am here for the in depth conversations. you just lmk and im there (also this is making me want to reread the entire like us series which is unfortunate because i am NOT supposed to do that this year)

i just relate to connor a lot more as a character and i don’t get really what there is to sympathize with charlie over. i only bring up connor because everyone is so determined to make charlie out to be another “version” of connor but they are so different to me. kbr paint charlie as SOOOOOO TORTURED but it’s like dude be for real you have a great life. and whatever mental issues he’s battling that sucks…but i do NOT sympathize with his treatment of the people around him especially his family

making disparaging comments about lily and lo’s addictions TO THE PUBLIC, calling them weak to their children, literally EVERYTHING he has EVER said to sulli (which i’ll admit is sometimes super funny but still MEAN AS HELL)…..these things can’t be excused. we don’t really know a lot about his inner workings which is why i’m excited to get into his head but i doubt anything could justify his general behavior towards the people around him. everyone has problems, no one else is a massive dick and uses the fact that they are too smart (????) that it makes their life agony to justify it

get real. charlie is a LOSERRRRRR who has no capacity for managing his feelings despite the infinite resources he could utilize to learn how to do so

also i’m cranky as hell today if it isn’t obvious but when you said “it takes a certain type of person to get him yk” i didn’t like your tone! i mean that lightheartedly 🫶🏻 i promise and i would be very interested in hearing why you DO like charlie and what you find sympathetic about his character and what i am apparently lacking in that makes me unable to do so…

before i close this out i just remembered something else that really bothers me about him is the way he has always treated moffy. you can be sympathetic to his feelings about that whole situation and their dynamic but i find it VERY hard to sympathize with his response. he is immature as hell and never once actually tried to talk to moffy or explain his frustrations and he used moffy as a sounding board for his negative feelings about SO MANY aspects of the world it wasn’t fair at all. it’s sort of the same with his behavior towards sulli like we all have family members we don’t like or problems with people but they aren’t supposed to KNOW that…how come everyone else in the world learns this lesson from childhood but charlie gets a free pass to be rude just because he’s charlie?

and again, it’s annoying because i really do think charlie is often quite funny (like when he threw that book at maximoff’s head? and farrow got so mad because moffy hadn’t slept in days? that was objectively TERRIBLE but his determination to be a menace just HAS to make you laugh i’m so sorry maximoff you did not deserve that king 💚)

[koukouture]

Ok no because hear me out-

When Emet Selch/Solus first appears near the end of Stormblood his conversations with Varis make me think a little y'know. Idk if I hallucinated this, but I think he says something along the lines of "you were always so emotional" to Varis. Or like, he insinuates that Varis has always had little control over his emotions.

(I haven't gotten to shadowbringers yet plz do not spoil too much. also apologies in advanced if I am wrong abt Solus/Emet Selch)

Solus was undoubtedly a horrible father and grandfather- and Varis is too- but Varis was sensitive as a child. Like he's genuinely just a guy- according to the wiki, like he denounced a massacre and disbanded the legion responsible. Also, his dad died and that kind of left Solus to be his paternal figure which was definitely super fucked up. Given how much Solus belittles him even in death and when he's the emperor- he was no better in life.

And idk where I saw this, but I think he actually genuinely loved his late wife? Y'know, Zenos' mom who died in childbirth or something? And listen, he's only twenty years older than Zenos- he was a young father. Can you fucking imagine that? Being raised by your asshole grand daddy, and then your loving wife fucking dies and leaves you with an entire new human being at like twenty.

My point is that Varis isn't a monster like the rest of the imperial family. No I'm not defending him, but he somehow just turned out pretty normal compared to the other two memebers of the royal family we know of. He has sympathy, he has morals, he has (or at least, used to have) a line he will not cross. Yeah he turned out a militaristic tyrant, but he was a normal fucking guy at one point and we definitely see that it peeks through a bit. Like I kinda remember he at least tries to be diplomatic when he meets with the alliance and the scions, and he still seems hurt by Solus' words. Idk man I just- he's not completely gone. He has some humanity left in him and he isn't as unapologetic as Zenos or Solus/Emet Selch.

And listen, I'm not defending his parenting style either- but I do understand why he just had no desire to be present in Zenos' life. After having Solus as his parental figure for most of his life, I think he has a fucked up idea of parenthood.

See, I think he loves Zenos somewhere deep down but yk generational trauma and maybe he's even a little envious of what Zenos is. Zenos is this paragon of mortal strength; a prodigy. Varis was no doubt great when he was younger as well, but Zenos is just so strong, unfeeling, and self assured- things Varis was expected to be when he was younger. He wasn't any of that though because we know (or I know because I hallucinated it) that he was emotional when he was younger. Also, Varis was just kinda neglectful towards Zenos, no? He never outright abused him or gave Zenos reason (for most of his life at least) to believe that Varis hated him. Idc if it's not canon, to me, I don't think he hates Zenos. Hates what Zenos had become maybe, but he seemed genuinely distraught or at least shocked when Elidibus was in Zenos' body. Like he took offense to it so you cannot tell me he doesn't at least care a bit.

Idk man. I don't even think I was able to get my point across that well?? I have lotsa thoughts bc I'm writing a little thing. Once again, not defending Varis, but he's very interesting to me in this regard because generational trauma is a song and dance any ethnic child is familiar with so I just had to share my two cents.

[globodamorte]

...is jeongdo planting memories in seongbin's head. hear me out.

ok first of all I literally almost threw up reading this episode. the music was a cool touch but the way jeongdo was pressing seongbin like "I need to humiliate him" "he's thinking he's better than us bc were being slandered by the media" (which btw way to make your personal feelings seep into the investigation asshole. the media is slandering y'all bc y'all are incompetent pigs. like. sometimes I thought I was going too far with jeongdo's obsession with seongbin but this confirms it for me. he's making it personal. he's making it about himself) "I need to come up with something doesn't matter if I'm wrong" "you were scared of being just like your mother" idk felt so icky to me. literally how dare you talk about his mother like that. how dare you bring up his abuse and purposefully trigger him.

"uuuhh but investigation tactics" if purposefully triggering trauma in people is investigation tactics then they're are abusive end of story lmao fuck off. there's ways to interrogate people without traumatizing them.

anyway.

we know seongbin said "I don't think I would do that". this highly indicates he doesn't remember killing anyone.

God fucking dammit I can't write properly I'm just so disappointed. I hate this lmao

anyway wtf was I saying. yeah he doesn't remember much and so the pressure of a policeman saying "we know what happened even though you don't" can fr just. make seongbin accept those "memories" as the truth. jeongdo may be literally gaslighting seongbin into believing that he did it.

like. idk how relatable this is. but yk that feeling when you don't know if something that seemed to have happened in your childhood actually happened or if it was a dream? also sometimes when I'm asked to recall something I don't remember, often I'll think "I can imagine/see myself doing this" but I'll still not know for certain. does that make sense? now imagine this feeling while being under severe mental distress

what I mean is seongbin is not in the right state of mind to be able to say for certain that he's remembering things. also jeongdo kept pressing and triggering him of course he'll not be stable enough to think properly. his mom just died too and the pigs that tased him are shit talking her.

I'm seriously so upset I might cry. bashi I'm gonna grab your foot when you're asleep.

I'm also so pissed at jeongdo fr IDC anymore. fucking pig I hope he chokes on mud

everyone in this webtoon is an unreliable narrator. so I can safely say that no, we can't be sure those "memories" are even real they could just be jeongdo's re-imagining of the murder

I hope maybe Dr. ju intervenes somehow. as the psychiatrist I hope she can do something. isn't this a thing like in trials? where you can object bc they're inducing the person to think/answer in a specific way? maybe she'll intervene bc his testimony won't be reliable idk whatever

I don't know what to say. this doesn't feel satisfying. the puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place but I keep thinking "this can't be it... it's too easy"

I can only hold on to the hope that I'm right on my meta analysis of the series as a whole and boy if I am right... oh boy...

but on the other hand I literally can't help but think that something's wrong. and idk maybe it's because I keep thinking there's No Way they'll go through this cliched overused and most of all offensive and ableist route. but what if they do? what then lol I'm seriously so sad

I can't even joke about how if there's a twist and it's not seongbin then I'll suck bashi so silly and sloppy like i feel defeated. they're torturing me they don't deserve my tornado blowjob... not now at least. even if bashi defeats the ableist allegations they won't defeat the psychological torturer ones 😔

to the one person who reads these. I'm so sorry this is so messy