#but anyways basically this day is already set up for disaster

[lovphobic]

im sure itll hit me in an hour or two but despite how shitty i slept i actualyl dont feel too tired rn. i mean the last time i saw THAT I TRUST....... was like 1:30am?? on my phone. so idk when the clock fucked up SO i dont know how long i actually slept for. but i know i kept waking up and shit because MY JAW HURT????? it still kinda does but its only Kinda now bc of acetaminophen i love u babygirl

[onlyhereforthestories]

Who Knew Gingerbread House Could Cause So Much Chaos (Mapi León x Reader)

Day 2! This one was fun to write. I hope you all enjoy

Mapi had that familiar spark of mischief in her eyes as she set a stack of gingerbread house kits on the table, her grin practically daring you to take her on. It was her idea to make gingerbread houses this afternoon, insisting it would be a fun “holiday bonding activity,” but you knew her well enough to suspect that Mapi wouldn’t settle for just a casual activity, oh no it would be a full-on competition.

“Ready to lose?” she teased, nudging you as she set up a little gingerbread “station” for herself, complete with extra icing bags, sprinkles, and even a few tiny candies she must have picked up at the store on her way home.

“Oh, you’re going down, León,” you shot back, grabbing your own supplies and carefully inspecting each piece of gingerbread. You’d seen her competitive streak on the pitch, but today, you were more than ready to take her on in the world of holiday decorating.

As soon as you began, Mapi focused with serious intensity, sketching out a blueprint in her head as she mixed icing and sorted candies. Meanwhile, you started building the basic structure of your house, stealing glances at Mapi's setup just to see what you were up against. Her design was coming together quickly, walls neatly glued with icing and held together by a precise application of gumdrops and peppermints. She’d even added little frosting icicles dripping from the roof. You couldn’t help but think classic Mapi, already extra.

“Looking a bit shaky there, huh?” she smirked, pointing to your gingerbread walls that had started to lean ever-so-slightly, causing the small panic to rise up in you.

“They’re structurally sound!” you protested, quickly reaching for more icing to reinforce the walls. Mapi just laughed, tilting her head with that infuriatingly charming look of hers, clearly enjoying the slight edge she had.

When she finally glanced up at you with a wicked glint, you saw her reach for a small handful of sprinkles. Without warning, she threw them your way, and before you knew it, you were covered in a shower of tiny, rainbow-colored dots. The icing you had managed to cover your hands with becoming littered with the coloured sugar.

“Hey!” you laughed, trying to brush the sprinkles off as you scooped up a handful of gummy drops in retaliation. “Oh, it’s on now.”

What followed could hardly be called a “baking session” anymore. It was an all-out war of sprinkles, icing, and laughter. Mapi’s competitive side gave way to sheer, unbridled holiday mischief as the two of you volleyed decorations back and forth. She darted around the table, cackling as she reached for more supplies, and you finally managed to sneak up behind her with an icing bag, adding a festive dab to the tip of her nose.

“Alright, alright, truce!” she finally declared, laughing as she wiped icing off her nose. Both of you were covered in powdered sugar, sticky icing smudges, little bits of candy, and the table was a complete disaster. But she pulled you in for a quick hug anyway, not caring at all about the mess.

Taking a step back to admire your gingerbread creations, you couldn’t help but laugh. Mapi’s house had a chaotic charm to it, much like the woman herself you were quick to think. Her house consisted of a mishmash of frosting icicles, carefully placed candy, and, surprisingly, a little sign she’d made that read “Mapi’s masterpiece.” Your house was a little lopsided but colourful, with an explosion of candy decorations that you had literally thrown at the strategically placed icing you used as glue and a crooked little chimney that you thought gave it character.

“You know what,” Mapi said, looping an arm around you from behind, “they’re both disasters…but festive disasters.” She reached down to grab her phone, snapping a selfie of the two of you, dusted in white from the powdered sugar, sticky with the remnants of icing, and grinning like kids on Christmas morning.

Once the mess was cleared up, you both decided that your creations deserved a place of honour, so Mapi led the way to the living room, where the rest of the Christmas decorations had been put up. She placed her gingerbread house on the living room table and gestured you to do the same. Once they were both down next to each other Mapi reached for your hand and pulled you onto the sofa before she pulled out her phone.

“How about we see which one the fans thinks is better?” you could see her competitive nature flash in her eyes once again.

“Okay but you can’t name who is who just do a poll with which is better 1 or 2.” You saw the roll of Mapis eyes as she snapped the photo of your designs side by side.

“You are only saying that because you know they would choose mine if they knew it was mine because they love me more than you.” She stuck out her tongue at you to add to her teasing which had you rolling your eyes this time, you literally married a child.

Mapi posted the story then headed into the kitchen to grab a couple glasses of wine for the two of you, while she did that you pulled up one of your favourite Christmas films. You got handed your glass of wine by the blonde as she sat between you and the arm of the sofa. You leaned against her, feeling perfectly at home.

You grabbed your phone and pulled up her story, pressing a vote for your gingerbread house you frowned at the results so far. Mapi ever engrossed in you and all you do was looking over your shoulder as you did this, and you knew she had seen when you could feel the slight shaking of her snickering behind you.

She wrapped her arms around you and pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “I think we should make this a tradition,” she murmured. “You and me, every Christmas, getting absolutely covered in powdered sugar and sprinkles.”

You smiled, nodding. “Deal. But next year, I’m definitely winning.”

Mapi just laughed, pulling you closer, and as the night settled in around you, you couldn’t help but think that this was exactly what you’d hoped the holidays with her would feel like. A time filled with laughter, warmth, and a little bit of competitive chaos.

[m3gal3sbian]

ok adding to my tdwt alenoah ex situationship au

so, it all starts when noah meets alejandro during his run on total drama dirtbags. noah is still an assistant and alejandro is just like The Worst, but he's kinda nice to noah and noah is like. weird but ok.

alejandro chats him up before and during filming, noah just tries to be polite before he actually finds himself really enjoying talking to him.

they start hanging out a lot more, off set, on set, they share looks in the middle of filming when alejandro is on camera and makes a particularly fun joke or when another cast member says something stupid.

it's still the middle of filming, albeit neither of them are on camera, when they sneak off to a beach off set and share their first kiss.

it's like super uber romantic and noah is like omg. okay. work. lets try and be normal about this.

alejandro however is like internally freaking the fuck out. mans is like holyyyy yfuckckckkk i ruined everything even though everything is literally fine. but he's dealing with some shit so he's just a mess despite how much he actually likes this guy.

so they keep sneaking off together and making out n stuff but alejandro starts acting super weird. noah notices that he's starting to treat him kinda like everyone else and is closing himself off, so he obviously has to talk to him about it.

it goes horribly. the last day on set, noah confronts alejandro about it and alejandro doesnt rlly know what to say so he's like uhhhh i didnt like you that much anyway/you were clingy/we arent even dating, and noah is like FUCK this guy im leaving. and they both go their separate ways thinking they'll never see each other again.

too bad, chris mclean says, as he offers noah a shit ton of money to join total drama world tour.

and, obviously, noah is in no position to refuse the money, especially with his younger sisters needing to go to college not to mention the work chris put in negotiating his pay.

noah already knows who is finalized for the cast, now including himself.

so, he finds himself in a position where he not only has to deal with his ex situationship on a daily basis, but he has to work with him on the SAME TEAM.

alejandro doesn't know that noah was on season one, much less he's joining world tour, so he see's noah on the bus and is like FUCKKKKK!!!! literally he's like oh my god the love of my life i fucked up so bad i need him back RIGHT NOW

so he makes it his mission to win back noah, but he's still playing the game, so it's like a disaster of alejandro trying to play the game and play people but also trying to be honest with noah and get him to trust him again.

and noah doesn't really know what to believe, plus, he's still super mad. so he kinda just watches alejandro be stupid and then makes fun of him while his heart is beating super fast bc he likes that dork so much.

basically they're just disaster gays and are STUPID!!!

[foreststarflaime]

Me and @stargazing-zani were bored so have this list of what partner pokemon the ff7 crew would have

The Banora boys get the Applin variants. Genesis gets a Flapple and Angeal has an Appletun

Genesis also tries to deflect attention onto his much flashier Ceruledge in public tho

Angeal was also given an Aegislash by his father which he nicknamed Buster. Buster has seen too much as it’s passed down to Zack and then Cloud in turn, watching its partners suffer but unable to form the words to comfort them

Hojo tries and tries to get Sephiroth something big, ultra-powerful and intimidating, but Seph is set on the adorable Mew which found him and refused to leave his side. Still a mythical so Hojo lets him keep it but is very miffed

Cloud was adopted by a Galarian Zapdos bc chocobo. I don’t make the rules. I do feel like the character arc the Sobble line goes through fits him really well tho

Zack has an unevolved Rockruff for quite a while. When it eventually does evolve, no matter what time of day it is, it will inevitably evolve into Midday Lycanroc because Zack’s sunny personality is overwhelming

Aerith has a Tinkaton. They’re perfect for each other

I don’t know how to explain it but Mudsdale gives me Tifa vibes, also it was a powerhouse when I had it on my team and I love it

Hojo created a Mewtwo bc all other pokemon rejected him, but it immediately turned on its creator and murders him violently, preventing all problems and fixing everything without the need for time travel

Insane Seph got a Deoxys bc creepy alien. Maybe it is Jenova in this universe and starts corrupting him as soon as he gets it driving him insane

Rufus gets a Houndoom bc that’s basically what Darkstar is anyways

Cait Sith is basically just Meowth already, I don’t need to do much here. Maybe Perrserker to be the version from the Scotland area Pokemon game

Alternatively for Reeve I feel like Duraludon works, bc urban development and it reminds me of the Neo Midgar concepts

Heidegger gets either a Skuntank or a Granbull, idk which but vibes

Hehehe Vincent has a Cofagrigus

I bestow upon Yuffie the honor of Thievul. Loved it on my team and they both have the little shit vibes. She would also be an evil team grunt stealing everyone else’s pokemon tho, and honestly good for her go crazy Yuffie

I know for Kunsel it’s always the hack-y technology vibes. But consider. Always hiding behind a mask, never see his face. Mimikyu

Barret? Absol. Avalanche, impending disaster, perfect

I feel like Rude would like Urshifu

It would be absolutely hilarious to me then if Reno just had an Emolga

Scarlet with a Metagross

Why is Tseng so hard. Inteleon perhaps for the spy-y stuff

For Veld maybe a Wishiwashi for the Turk’s whole stronger in numbers found family thing

Oh dear god while writing this I thought too much about the implications of SOLDIER still existing in a world where pokemon battles replaced normal fighting. Maybe it was an experiment to splice human dna with pokemon to get humans to be able to fight using pokemon moves too? So like you go up against a SOLDIER, faint all 6 of their pokemon and think yay I’ve won, and then the SOLDIER just starts going after your pokemon themselves. They are their own 7th pokemon

[tales-travelling-trashheap]

Hey, hi, hello! 👋 How do?

I got post day this time, and also a few more drawings 😁 I'm still stuck on this crossover AU of Outer Wilds and Grow, and I've just decided to merge this AU with my Quantum Travelers AU.

And so now we have Quantum Alchemists!

Still working on the designs for the other travelers but for now we've got Hatchling (Sodalite in this AU), Solanum and the Prisoner as the Apprentice, Book and Coppertop respectively.

Ramble ramble ramble 😅 This is a big one.

===

This is another one of those AUs set in the new universe and everyone only kind of exists to some degree.

I think I've explained a bit of the gist of this before (probably also said that I'm merging this au and the other one before but I can't remember) but here's a few thoughts I've had since the merge, I'm kinda just copy-pasting some a lot of my notes.

The travelers have basically set up shop on the Eye of the Universe (I'm saying that as if they are all still alive but in reality they've been long dead and gone for eons now)

Sodalite is the last Conscious Observer (Last as in the most recent). There's probably been hundreds of conscious observers over many different universes but they all felt that they'd all had their fun and decided to "retire" (they know their time is over, it's time for the new era)

Soda, unfortunately, doesn't have that possibility for right now, because there's a problem with the Eye. And that's why they still exist as quantum in the new universe.

The Outer Wilds travelers (Esker, Gabbro, Chert, Riebeck and Feldspar) are taking over from some of the Everkin, they just have a bigger role in this AU. The Hearthians are still the main source of explosions just on a much bigger plane.

Solanum and Kaepora take the roles of Book and Coppertop, main reason being this: neither got to join their kinds in death. Solanum was 5/6ths dead on the Quantum Moon and Kaepora's body and soul was imprisoned by their own people.

The Eye of the Universe is the source of all life. It sang into being galaxies, whole civilizations with the Song of the Universe (Song of Myora), and many life forms had lived in harmony for a time.

But sometime during the creation of Soda's new universe, it stopped creating new life because the song shattered and something else has taken root; the Bramble (taking over from the Withering). This Bramble had somehow survived the old universe, or maybe its presence was inevitable, but it was very quick to fill in the gaps.

Maybe a few billion years have already passed in this new universe, though it doesn't feel that way to the travelers. It probably feels like only a few months or years have passed (time doesn't really exist when you're in a quantum space/you're also quantum). It's been long enough for them that everyone's gotten quite comfortable around one another.

Oh, and Alchemy! There is a new mechanic for this AU! The Travelers are trying to use Alchemy to create little world seeds to help the Eye. There had been many spectacularly colourful alchemical disasters over the years, but eventually they'd cracked the recipe.

Anyway! There's that ramble, hope you like it 😅

[thatfinewine]

Silly little oneshot that turned in a direction I hadn't intended but went with anyway. Prompt from @potetosaradas was "Blips and Chitz", and the pairing Rick Prime/(young) Rick C-137. It isn't explicitly shippy, but hopefully it's still enjoyable. 🙏

Every so often Rick has to acknowledge that he can't handle all of who Prime is.

(Prime truly does not give a shit. Rick gives too much of a shit.)

“Eh, you win some you lose some,” Prime shrugged nonchalantly as he tossed the helmet game controller down onto the dashboard of the machine, where it landed precariously close to the edge.  He got up from the cramped-but-plush seats and made a show of stretching his long legs, while Rick followed and stood up after him from the opposite chair.

“We wouldn’t ‘lose some’ if you’d quit making us lose!” Rick snapped as he (much more carefully) set his own helmet down and readjusted Prime’s closer to the center of the console without thinking.

Prime reached down and tore off the measly amount of tickets the machine spit out for them.  “Hey; I was having fun shooting Space Fascists—”

“—Instead of protecting the civilians!  Like the objective told us to do!”

“I mean, you made it sound like you had that part pretty handled—”

“—until you blew the whole left wing of the Feds’ ship off and it crashed down on top of us and killed everyone!”

“—which wouldn’t have happened if those pig bastards knew how to steer their own ship.  They drive like male Obravadians!  Man, it’s like they were aiming for you guys – actually, it was kinda funny.”

Prime had already started moving on towards his next objective, leaving Rick to catch up with him.  Rick, mood visibly soured from the loss, didn’t find any of it even slightly amusing.  When Prime caught the look, he rolled his eyes in a comically obvious way.  “Anyone who has taste would find it funny, anyway,” he grumbled, purposefully loud enough to be heard over the ambient noise of the arcade.

“Sorry I don’t find watching innocents being crushed to death funny.”

The air around Prime shifted, the growing tension seemingly choking out the oxygen between them.

“Rick,” Prime said, emphasizing the name with the condescending sort of tone of a teacher who’s disappointed in a student.  “You know you can’t let yourself get all tangled up in small stuff like that.”

Rick felt his face and chest grow hot with embarrassed anger.  Prime spoke about other living beings as if they were hardly more than a footnote to him, but the loss of life never felt ‘small’ to Rick.  That was a conscious being, snuffed right out of existence, losing the most precious thing ever gifted to any of them – life.  A single life that could never be brought back once it was gone.  But the two of them had argued about this so many times before, and this was supposed to be a fun, low-stakes day out playing video games…

“I know,” he answered quietly, sounding simultaneously defeated and bitter about it.

It was moments like these that were chilling reminders of what Prime was like to everyone else.  He was generally good to Rick because he liked Rick.  But Prime didn’t harbor any sort of meaningful fondness for anything else besides creation and discovery.  Rick was an anomaly to him, something that had such a low chance of happening that it was basically a nonexistence; an impossibility.  It made the heat inside of him run cold; as if a block of ice settled into Rick’s ribcage, where it slowly melted into his veins, as he stood in the face of their reality.

Prime found the universe fascinating as he watched life crop up and die as if it were nothing but cells under a microscope.

Rick thought it was wrong to see a disaster happening and do nothing to stop it when he very well had the power to.

Prime said that ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are societal constructs and aren’t even real.  In the beginning he thought that Rick’s ‘planetary mindset’ was… cute.  But as the same conversation kept circling back around… he was getting annoyed at having to repeat himself.

“You’re not stupid, Rick.  I know you’re not stupid.”

Rick hated those words so much it made him feel sick.

“I know you’re not stupid.  So why do you keep acting like it?”

The feeling of how finite the universe truly was became heavier around Rick, putting pressure on his heart to the point where it hurt to keep beating.  How could two people stay by each other's sides and make a relationship work when their fundamental moral compasses couldn’t align?

“Why does it matter, then?  I-I-I’m not asking you to— to do anything, I’ll do it all myself.  If nothing matters, why does it pi-p-pi-piss you off so much that I want to save lives?”

“Is that really what you’re going to spend the rest of your life doing?  You could be inventing literally anything!  You could be doing anything!  And you’re choosing to waste your own invaluable time simply postponing death for some thing that’s not even going to benefit you?  They’re going to die, Rick.  They’re all going to die.  So you spend a week stopping a flood and helping rebuild a town – then what?  You’re going to leave, feeling all proud of yourself for earning these hero points you invented as a reward and to feel like there’s a balance to the universe and it’s not all chaos – and after you leave, the dam breaks again, or a volcano erupts, or an asteroid slams into the planet, or a burst of solar radiation hits them and wipes out everything.”

“That’s—” 

“—Or another space-faring alien shows up and decides they want the resources and have no use for the people and pick them all off!  Maybe sell them as slaves for a quick buck!  And this is happening to millions of planets - all with sapient life - right now, in this very universe, right this very second, and here you are helping none of them.  So then what, are you choosing which life deserves to survive with your benevolent help?”

“No, I-I’ll—” 

“—Are you going to clone yourself so you can be in billions of places at once, stopping every single disaster on every single planet?  Are you going to lay awake at night beating yourself up over the ones you didn’t save, wasting even more of your time?”

“...”  

“…Do you see how ridiculous you sound to me now?  Come on, Rick.  Look out for yourself - and if a stupid fucking species is going to wipe themselves out with nuclear war, let them.  You’ve fooled yourself into believing that you care.  …If you want to then just do it, but don’t act like it makes you a saint.  You’re not.  You’re Rick Sanchez.”

They usually don’t talk for days afterward.

“I’ll give you time to calm down and actually use that brain of yours.  I know you’re not stupid, Rick.”

Rick didn’t even look over as he heard Prime let loose an exaggerated groan.  “Oh my God,” he complained, drawing out the title into a word that took two whole seconds to say, “stop pouting.”

“I’m not pouting,” Rick snapped back, as he actively made an effort to stop pursing his lips and slumping his shoulders.  It wasn’t pouting.  It was… it was…

“We came here to have fun – it’s a fucking space arcade!   You really can ruin anything, huh?”

The good times were so good, but the bad times were so bad.

“It’s a talent,” Rick muttered, trying not to sound like he was marking up a list in his head of the pros and cons of choosing this man as his partner.

Prime shot him a sidelong glance and gave his cosmic twin’s face a quick once-over.  Rick often wondered what Prime’s mental list was.  How long did Rick even have before the scales tipped out of his favor and he lost his appeal?  What would happen to him then?

Existence was finite, after all.

Even for Gods.

[tenrose]

I may or may not have bought a ps5 for black Friday...

You might think this is a useless buy, and it is. But get this, I have a gaming pc but it's not very strong. Also I don't like playing on it. Mainly because I work on computer screen all day and it hurt my eyes (not sure a TV screen is better but I can see from a bit more afar) Also I absolutely do not know how to play on keyboard so I already play with a gamepad but it's an Action gamepad and it keeps disconnecting it's annoying. Also I don't play a lot but the games I'm more interested into playing are way too big for my pc anyway (Baldur's gate here I come, also wanna try Elden Ring but I feel like with my disaster level of gaming this might be suicide lmao). Also I want the physical copies of games, it feels wrong not having them physical, and I have brand new empty shelves waiting for other stuff than books. Speaking of physical I haven't owned a disc reader in ages, so I will finally be able to own the 4k version of LOTR (and if I'm being honest I'm more excited about spending my new year's eve watching LOTR than anything else), not sure the ps5 does read music CDs though... But if it does it might convince me to also buy new CDs we'll see. But yeah, I'm not a movie watcher mainly cause I don't have the means anymore (meaning I don't pay platforms) but there's some movies I want to buy, so who cares if I watch the same movies 150 times anyway (do I really need anything else but lotr to be happy? Obviously not). Speaking of tv, at first this whole project was kinda blurry cause I need a brand new TV first, because mine is old so no point in having 4k stuff with it. And at first this was what I was supposed to buy for black Friday and my aunt's husband told me he'd check what kind of TV would be good for me, but long story short story they bought me a TV as my Christmas/birthday gift (cause I never gave my bank account number for my birthday) so my aunt said it's for both. I was like 'you did what????' lmao. The only 'annoying' thing is that I bought Dragon Age on Steam but my pc is literally dying, basically I have like 10go left with the game installed so it's an absolute mess, I had to lower quality and shit and between work, migraines and sickness I've played six hours... So I'm gonna buy it again and I'm not very proud for that. To not feel like I've spent stupidly 60€ twice I'm gonna use the gift card from our Union which is conveniently 60€. But yeah stupid move if I had been patient.... But anyway.

So yeah it's kinda 500€ for something that is absolutely necessary. BUT I have solid arguments. Basically it is the gift for me finally being able to put on with my house chores. I mean it's not perfect yet, I still have the dreadful administrative paper to tidy but yes my apartment is now in an acceptable state and truth to be told this wasn't an easy task for me and maintaining it keeps being harder but the experts were right, setting up a routine help and it is easier to clean a little bit every day. Also I finally have my massive bookshelves I'm so in love with them. And basically the apartment being better makes me wanna do stuff and make it prettier. Btw I also feel the desire to buy a bigger plant, I think I'm ready to take this risk. And most importantly I now feel, safe enough to invite my parents properly to eat. And that is something I've never felt confident before to do. Because of the cleaning and also because of the cooking. And that's a huge thing for me, cause believe it or not in like 15 years I've been away I've never invited them to dinner, they like sometimes visited me when they were nearby but every time I had meetings with my mom I'd invite her to the restaurant instead of home to avoid stressful situations. Mind you this is my mom we're talking about so it's gonna be stressful anyway and not right enough for her, but if I know it is right enough for me that's ok. Needless to say I've never talk to her about this house chores struggle, I've been dealing with it with my aunt without who all of this wouldn't be possible and honestly I don't even know how the fuck I am supposed to thank her for everything she did to me since I've been a teen. She's the first one I came out to, she visited me when I was hospitalised for my mental health, she and my grandma made sure I had money to eat when I was a student and she's the only person I can only discuss with my undiagnosed whatever is wrong with my dysfunctional brain, my mental health struggle without her being like 'well do it', like for example she did scold me for the cleaning but like not a useless scold where I feel even more worse than I already felt before, she explains to me tricks and stuff so yes it's what I'm the most thankful to her for.

And now that this thing is altogether under my capacities, I feel like I can focus on something new next year. I have plan but this involves confronting my biggest fear and some of you might guess what I'm talking about. Like it's not a thing I desperately crave to do but it would make my life easier and also it's like the only thing I don't have that stop from being 100% independent of anyone... But yeah I'm scared. And it might come handy for my next next project which is getting the hell out of the infernal place that is my job (but unfortunately that thing doesn't depend 100% on me unlike some would want us to think, like the job market is utter shit everywhere) but anyway

So yes all in all I think I am allowed to recklessly buy a ps5 as a gift to myself.

And I don't know why the hell I wrote a whole damn essay to convince everyone but really just myself that it is ok and that I shouldn't feel guilty about it.

And why the hell am I justifying myself for spending my own money earned with my depression driving job???

[arl3kinka]

Hello :D do you have any p1 Dude headcanons?

hi hi.

oh boy, I thought I had a few, but after I sat down to write them just realized I might have a bit too much more than what I’ve expected, haha.

POSTAL 1 DUDE; headcanons

first of all! some headcanons make reference of how he was before the first game, so trying to apply them to the guy who’s terrified, sitting on the floor while hugging his gun would be pretty useless

also, if instead of a hyphen there’s a star it’s to address DID in Dude (I don’t have DID myself and I’m not close to somebody who has DID, all I know is from research I’ve done myself, so if there’s something wrong please tell me.

if you’re not into the DID idea just ignore the stars.

anyway, here we go:

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

— Before what happened in 1997 I think he was still a disaster, but a bit more functional.

I’m not gonna dig a lot into how he was while growing up, but he’s an only child that comes from a christian yet dysfunctional family, so after he finally had enough saved money and the legal age he moved to another city (not Paradise) to start again and never looked back, probably with a bit of help coming from Uncle Dave, the only family member that cared about him.

★ P2’s been with him since he was a kid/pre-teen. P1 doesn’t really knows who or what P2 is and at first is pretty much afraid, thinking he’s a demon of some kind. But after a while and seeing how he stands up for him (when he’s unable to defend himself, make friends, etc) and he’s not really trying to harm him he relaxes for a bit.

— He’s always been pretty much a loner, but not to the point to isolate himself completely. He had a tiny group of friends who were also as “weird” as he was who were also into the alternative/goth subculture. Those were probably the best years of his life.

But still, following the last point, I also think he’s one of those people that when they feel bad they isolate themselves for some time and then come back like nothing happened. It usually worked, until it didn’t.

— I have no idea of where I readed I don’t know if it was the Wiki, TV Tropes, in a reddit comment or somewhere else but I think that during the development of “Postal” the Postal Dude was around 27 years old. I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ll go with that.

And, to add some more flavor, I don’t remember if it was Tumblr or Reddit, but somebody had the headcanon that the 14 of November, the day the first game begins, it’s also the Postal Dude’s birthday.

I can’t remember who had such a good idea but I love it way too much, I love angst with all my heart so now it’s my headcanon too.

(if I see the original headcanon again I’ll give credits to the person)

— [ tw // mentions of drugs ] Definitely smokes both cigarettes and weed, but the last one just from time to time. Has tried acid or mushrooms but rather stick to weed.

He hasn’t done crack or anything too heavy, not before 1997.

— He has little to no idea of how to cook. He can do some basic stuff to survive, and he has tried following a recipe in the past, but it’s definitely not his best . Not like he enjoys it either.

— His body: pretty tall. He has a bit of a complex with his height, finding clothes of his size can be complicated and it’s a bit awkward too.

His body is a bit built (he does some work out because of the idea that somebody can attack him at any moment is enough to make him try to learn some self defense alone in his room). Compared to P2 he's has more corporal mass, but not as much as P3 would have. He's an in between. Not skinny but not fat either.

He’s also pretty pale. Not because he can’t get tanned or anything, but because he would rather go out when the sun is already setting or during night or, in general, prefers to stay at his house.

In general he’s one of those people you see on the street and catch your attention: it’s not always that you see a really tall guy with long ginger hair.

— He doesn’t cut his hair because he likes how it looks on him but also because he’s too lazy (and anxious) to go to a hairdresser. He sometimes cuts it himself, and since he has no idea there have been times it ends up disastrous, but since I think his hair is a bit wavy it doesn’t look really bad.

He also doesn’t maintains it really well, he only uses shampoo and, maybe, one of those 3 in one bottles and that’s all. If it’s really cold he dries it with the hairdryer, but rarely does so.

— His handwriting is HORRIBLE. Not like if it’s like hieroglyphics, you can read it, but it’s just really ugly (the diary/war journal entries is how he writes, but since he was pretty stressed and scared it’s a bit more agitated). Also makes too much pressure, not to the point of ripping of the paper but you can feel it on the other face of the sheet surface if you brush it with your hand.

Likes to write for himself, it’s therapeutic and the best way to cope, the less harmful to himself too.

— Following the last point he also likes to make some doodles, especially when bored. Nothing too serious though, the typical thing you do when you’re in class bored and you only have a pen in hand and a paper. You’ll see plenty of them that decorate his notes and diaries. They’re a bit chaotic, his traces being a bit messy.

— If he was accepted in RWS he might have some knowledge about the videogame industry or related. Not sure of what, probably graduated in some studies about it. Maybe a programmer? I dunno.

— Definitely neurodivergent. Either autistic or ADHD. Or both.

His main interests being weapons, movies and videogames. Predilect genres? Terror and horror. He’s not much of a reader though.

On a side note, easily overwhelmed with people he’s not close with touching him (or in general, he’s not opposed to it but would rather if the other person asked for permission) and large crowds, and the main reason he wears he started wearing sunglasses it’s because sensitivity to bright lights.

Still, he’s undiagnosed so he has no clue why he’s like that and why can’t he be normal, sometimes thinking he’s a bit dramatic. His group of friends also had other neurodivergent people who he could rely on so he didn’t feel that bad after all.

— He hated going to clubs for that same reason, even the more alt ones. Too much noise and people. He probably went there because of his friends and enjoyed it for a little while, but would’ve rather been doing anything else.

★ P2 liked it more than him, so when they made plans with their friends he was the one who was in control most part of the time.

— He’s the kind of person that I think would listen to pretty much everything, but definitely his favorite genre is hard rock and metal and its sub-genres: goth metal, black metal, grunge, industrial, you name it. Maybe nu metal it’s not really his thing.

Still, he jams pretty much everything so you could catch him singing a Spicegirls song and he would deny it with his life.

★ It’s in fact P2 who prefers nu metal and wouldn’t care what he’s listening to. Would probably tease P1 about it though.

P2: “You’re listening to Madonna? I thought you didn’t liked pop”

P1: “...shut it”

p2: “Whatever you say edgelord… "LIKE A VIRGIN JUST, LIKE THE VERY FIRST TIME- ♪"”

— He’s bisexual, but still in the closet and pretty deep in there. He has done a few things with other guys but nothing too serious or further than making out probably. Partly because he has some internalized homophobia from the family he comes from (in himself! would never judge or care is one of his close ones was in the queer community) and because generally he sucks at dating.

★ Again, P2 is more open about it than him, and probably the one who had those interactions with other guys, but since P1 was not really uncomfortable with the subject he never went too far.

P2 tried to talk to him about it, but P1 just refuses.

— Also, how did I forgot to mention this? Religious trauma.

Now, he has a weird relationship with his christianity and beliefs, his morals, and how he views himself since he was teached to be a good christian, and he kinda wants to be good at the eyes of God, but at the same time he’s into too many stuff his parents told him they were satanic and bad. He has mixed emotions about it, it’s like he wants to let it go, but he’s unable to do so.

To him the cross he carries around his neck is not for the aesthetic, but he’s not because he’s a good christian either. And when he’s feeling at his worst? It’s like a dog collar, reminding him how all the trauma his family beliefs have harmed him, but at the same time he cannot let it go for some reason. It’s like an abusive relationship both with himself and with his religion, if he even believes in it. It’s complicated to understand? He’s just as confused as you are.

Maybe the problem it’s not the religion itself, maybe it was his family and now because of them he can’t really feel comfortable praying (even if he sometimes finds himself doing so on the nights of rough days) or having a normal relationship with his christianity. Whatever it is, he’s traumatized.

★ And P2 doesn't helps either. He just does not cares about it and when he sees P1 having a breakdown about it, knowing how hard the subject is for him, just prefers to not to get involved, because, anyways, what can he do to help him? He just does not know either, it’s something he has to resolve himself. He cannot help him in everything.

P1 sometimes has called P2 a demon during his attacks, and even if he just ignores it it’s true that it can get annoying after all the times he has tried to help him, and every time they had a fight about it P1 ended up worse, so P2 decided to not get involved any more time for that too.

— I think he’s both shy and introverted, but don’t misinterpret me; not shy in a cute bean who gets all nervous and blushy. No. More in the staring at the person like if he was a deer in front of the lights of a car type of shyness, trying not to get too nervous, and after a few seconds he responds to whatever that person said or asked, hoping it wasn’t too cringy or awkward. He usually gets like that when he’s interested in a person (doesn’t matter if it’s platonic or romantic) and doesn’t want them to get weirded out by him

More introverted than shy, that’s for sure.

— If he’s having a good day his neutral face just looks tired, in his worst I doubt anybody would be able to get to see him because in those days he locks himself in his house and refuses to go out, but if it’s the case (probably the clerk of a shop because he ran out of food) it’s a mix of anger and fear (mainly due paranoia and hallucinations, trying to put and angry face to make the others don’t bother him).

— He could be INFJ (Ni Fe Ti Se) or INTJ (Ni Te Fi Se). If that was the case I think it would be due to Se grip.

I could go more into details because I really enjoy MBTI and see how its functions work on fictional characters.

★ Not the same as P2 of course, but that's a story for another day.

— Pretty much stoic, but on the inside? A mess of emotions he does not know how to untangle correctly. He can get emotional when he’s alone, but that’s a part nobody would ever see of him. He’s not going to let anybody see him in such a vulnerable and weak state.

— Now, returning to the main point. I could really go into details of what or why I think it could have happened for him to literally go postal, but I think the main point is that he moved to Paradise trying to escape from his life. And you may ask “but you said those were the happiest years of his life!” yep, completely, but there can be a few things that alone could have been bad but tolerable, but too many of them make them unbearable: maybe he distanced himself from his friends, had to move somewhere cheaper because of money, his mental health going downhill, etc.

The thing is, he moved to Paradise, and it was probably his worst mistake.

Uncle Dave lived there, that’s why he chose that city, but even with that he had almost no contact with him besides the first few days? He was on his own, alone again.

— Ironically, I think he actually worked for a post office. It’s the only job he could find.

— Both his physical and mental state got way worse. He’s never been a really healthy person, but still tried to take care of himself at least a bit. Going out only when heavily necessary and, after a while, not even going to work anymore. That's when he really ran out of money and got the terrifying letter: he got evicted of his “safe place”. Was his house even a safe place at this point? He couldn’t feel safe anywhere anymore.

He could have called Uncle Dave, but at this point? He was just so disconnected with reality he didn’t know what to do.

★ P2 saw him fall and had no idea of what to do at this point. He was tired of trying to help him so he just ignored. P1 felt so bad that, even if he find P2 annoying at times it was the last thing he needed, the last familiar thing he had disappeared hurts him to the core.

— [ tw // mentions of self-harm ] Even if writing in his journal really helped him to calm down during bad days it doesn’t mean he didn’t do other more harmful things to himself when he was at his worst. Before moving to Paradise he handled it better, he was able to tone it down pretty much since he moved from his parent’s house, but after everything got so overwhelming again? He doesn’t know any better. And the worst part of it? Finds it both comforting and thinks that he deserves all this suffering. For everything. For moving away from his parents, maybe they were right after all. For being a bad christian, God, if he hasn’t done it already, would probably turn his back the day he has to pass Heaven's gates. For after being so happy and having friends and thinking he was getting better and how he throwed all out the windows. It’s all his fault, and he knows it, but he can’t bring himself to do anything, not even therapy, and cannot call his friends. Nothing. The world’s still going on without him. He just feels like when he was a kid, but worse.

★ And here’s where he appears: the Other Dude (to me not the same as P3). He’s shows him his most intrusive thoughts, those who make him feel sick. OD slowly persuaded him to do horrible things not to himself, but the others. He’s twisted and manipulated everything, every little hope he had. P1 confused P2 with OD at this point, and was the one who made P1 get out of his house after a really long time, but with a gun in his hand, ready to kill everybody who made him feel so miserable and worthless. At this point he’s just gone.

At first, ironically, P2 tried to get in the middle of it, a bit confused of what or who OD was. Why he was so similar to himself? How long has he been there? But even OD persuaded him at some point.

Both P1 and P2 were tired of the way they were living and feeling. So why not change it?

I’m not sure who’s the one who got out of the house ready to cause a massacre, if P1, P2 or OD, but the thing is they all agreed at some point.

— I know this is going to be a bit weird, but I don’t think the whole game stages are real? It sounds weird, but let me explain: you really think a guy who has been locked inside his house for so long, having horrible hallucinations, almost no sleep (and if he had any, probably full of nightmares), not taking care of himself is really going to go too far? It does not matter how many weapons he may carry, it’s practically impossible.

Maybe the first 2 or 3 stages, but not much more before the police/militars/whoever it was got him at some point. The others only happened in his head, his mind going ahead of him, overthinking, and lately, his guilt getting over him.

By this I’m not saying he’s less of a horrible person, he did what he did and it’s sickening, it does not matter how bad he was feeling, killing people who have nothing to do with you and your problems is not the answer. Even if they were the cause, it’s not the solution.

— Leaving aside that all the “Postal” games are usually a parodies of real life and black humor (asides from the first game and “Postal Redux”) and taking it for something more serious, I don’t think “Postal Dude” it’s the name of the Postal Dude.

It was a nickname given both by the survivors of the massacre and the media.

— Also, after what he did he was everywhere. In the newspapers, in the TV, in the radio. That’s how Uncle Dave and the group of friends he had back in the city he lived before found out. But how could he? He was such a nice, quiet guy… he wouldn’t hurt a fly!

His group of friends, who since he moved without saying anything, didn’t pick up their calls and in general ignored them and decided it was for the best to just let it be.

Uncle Dave, on the other side he was worried. What the hell happened during all those years they were separated? It couldn’t be something he decided overnight, there had to be something more, right?

— He got his hair shaved at the asylum. After that he didn’t had it that long in his whole life.

— He got locked in the asylum, and being locked in there, alone again with his thoughts, it was dead of him. Metaphorically speaking.

★ P1 went dormant, refusing to think of what he has done, or at least accepted to do. He couldn't take all that blame, it was impossible. Every time he remembers it he wants to puke. He now really want to be dead. There’s no way he can redeem himself from that, God definitely has abandoned him. OD also disappeared. He just provoked all of this and now what? He accomplished what he wanted, where is he? He bring out the worst part of P1, was he trying to corrupt him and breaking him was not in the plan or was the plan breaking him from the start?

Whatever it was left P2 alone, also feeling guilty of what he has done. He does not feel as bad as P1 but he also cannot feel happy as OD probably feels. What they’ve done it’s horrible, but how OD manipulated them to do it? Even worse. Even for P2 whose morality is more gray-ish than P1s.

He hates it, he’s locked in there with the hallucinations and barely speaks to P1 because he’s completely broken and refuses to do so. Now it’s the other way around. He’s growing resentful to him too for that, they’re both cupid, can he at least make him some company? Like he did when P1 was a child too? It’s unfair.

He has something clear though: if OD ever shows his ass again he will NOT let get on him like he did. And even if he’s annoyed at P1, not even him.

— After some time Uncle Dave brings himself to visit him. At first it was so grim. Dude felt so horrible for his actions he couldn’t bring himself to even look at him, but after some more visits, therapy and meds he started to light up a really tiny bit. It was something.

★ It was not really him, P1 was pretty much not wanting to know anything from the external world, it was P2 who decided to take the lead. P1 didn’t wanted to live anymore? Fine, he would take his chance then. To live the life he never could since he’s always been on P1 mind, rarely being the one in control.

Maybe he was pretending, or maybe he genuinely wanted to get better, but the thing was: he wanted to get out of there, if there was a chance to do so, he would try it. At first do what the workers said, and if that didn’t work he would escape. He does not care. He wants to try to live.

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

okay I got a bit too carried away- I’m sorry-

hope you liked them! I’m not really skilled nor do I have practice when it comes to creating headcanons about characters even if I have a few ideas.

I’m thinking about posting a few more in a future,, but school work is killing me-

[yinnyguardian]

Anyone Want A Free Ivara Prime Neuroptics Blueprint? TwT

Giving away a free Ivara Prime Neuroptics Blueprint to anyone who needs it after I felt too bad to turn down an extra <3 (FCFS)

(Well as free as Warframe allows. You will have to trade at the very least a throwaway trash item/mod due to Warframe not allowing completely free trades)

Ok so a little story behind as to why I'm giving it away IF YOU WANT! It's a long read with a very small very vague spoiler nearer to the top and I overdramatized the fuck outta this to make it fun to read LMAOOO

If you want the over dramatized context, click "Keep Reading" >:3

It was yesterday, specifically sometime between 12-2 AM. I got onto Warframe, ready to play a bit before getting settled for bed... However... A Mistake was made.

Simaris popped up. The daily stuff restarts around 8-9 PM for me. He's offering his Tenno Slav- I mean Hunter a reward. An offering of three choices. Two different types of Rescource Boosters and whatever the fuck the last one was (I wasn't paying attention).

I had my eyes on the prize and totally forgot I wouldn't even be able to use them fully since I'm doing this before going to bed in like an hour or less. I was basically biding time for my sleep pills to set in. But that didn't stop me.

Instead of closing the game to pick the next day... I foolishly took the Rescource Booster that gives you extra resources upon pick-up! Worse still, it didn't even dawn on me the mistake I had made as my attention fled to the yellow marker. The Kinepage had updated.

I rushed over, ready to see what it said. And after reading it I smiled to myself, happy to have experienced such an update, as small as it was.

However that happiness didn't last as I finally remembered and realized my mistake when my eyes darted to the bottom of my screen... To the clock.

I gasped and rushed to the Navigation, quickly opening the first mission I could think of! An Alert. Maroo had another hunt for me. I quickly took her mission, ready to get that Ayatan Treasure and some Argon Crystals I had been waiting on a Resource Booster for... Not realizing it would end in disaster!

I typically only ever get 1 or 2 Argon Crystal spawn ins per round. So I was expecting 4 Argon Crystals at most! How foolish I was. I looked in abject horror once the mission was complete. 10. 10 Argon Crystals.

I rush over to the Foundry, praying I would have enough blueprints! Alas it was in vain. By the end I still had 6 Argon Crystals. But it was going on 2:30 AM and I was tired. Sleep had found it's way to me. Knowing that I had by 12 AM the next night, I went to sleep and prayed I'd be able to get the blueprints the next day.

Today came and I quickly hopped on Warframe while pulling up the list of Blueprint needed for such a task. I decided to focus on Relics. AKA Prime Frames and/or Weapons. Specifically any of the common variant that I didn't already own... But my supply was thin and time was ticking.

By the way one of the relic packs I was opening...? Yeah the reward I wanted was a common. I opened 4 of them. Didn't get the specific reward I want. You wanna know what I did get? I got the uncommon. How the fuck did I get an uncommon before the common? It's like the game knows like "Oh hey you want this? This should be easy-to-get reward? Yeah? Too bad you don't get it >:)" LMAOOO

Cough

Anyway.

As I watch my relics deplete that had those specific blueprints with only one success, leaving me with 4 Crystals left, I felt hopeless... That was until... I noticed my plat and remembered... Yes... Yes the Warframe Market! That would be my saving grace upon such a troubling time!

I rush over to the Market Website and scanned prices of the blueprint! First one went by quickly! Baruuk Prime systems! Only two more Argon Crystals left.

Next one I set my sights on was the Ivara Prime Neuroptics. I sent a message and after about 5-10 minutes with still no response, I decided to throw out another hook. This time a fish caught it. I smile widely as the second person gets back to me. They took me to the dojo, we did the trade, and I finally could rest knowing my Argon Crystals would not fall into waste... Or so I thought.

However... As I enter an easy capture mission on earth, a throwaway mission for my sights had set on Nora Nightwave's Complete 15 Mission quest... I got a message. The first person had been AFK. Which was fine! I constantly find myself distracted and/or AFK and accidentally leave any potential buyers to wait on complete accident. However they ask the question... Do I still need the neuroptics. I didn't...

So naturally I said yes I do!

Now this might sound stupid, however I felt bad. If I had just waited yet another 10 minutes this poor person could have gotten plat instead. And again, I quite know the feeling of accidentally making a buyer wait for a response only to be too late. You tend to feel awful.

As I rush through the mission so they can give me an invite to their glorious dojo, they kept being super sweet and kind. As the trade commenced, I paid and looked upon the familiar neuroptics, still no clue with what I'll do with such a thing.

Obviously I couldn't resell it even if I did do it for cheaper than original price. That would be wrong. But as I sat and wondered, clicking accept and finalizing the deal... I realized what I must do!

I said my thank you's and farewells to the individual before coming here and any other possible places I might post (Idk where else for now).

So I offer to anyone who wants it who doesn't already have Ivara Prime Neuroptics... The blueprint. Completely free You, unfortunately due to how the trading system in the dojo works, will have to offer something in the trading place but it can just be a throwaway junk mod (Like Revenge, Ammo Drum, Pressure Point... Just something that you can get really easily and don't use/need much). I apologize for this inconvenience TwT

[dragonentusiast]

✨Christmas special with Hogwarts finest✨

Hero was in huge trouble. Well not the usual kind of trouble, it's worse. In two days it's Christmas the favourite holiday of every christian and capitalist. Okay that was harsh even for Hero. But we are 39 words in and we still don't know the problem. Well it's quite simple. Hero can't find a book on "how to gift something to someone if you have an infinite bag of stuff to make it different from what you do on a daily basis". Yeah and it wouldn't be the same. A new tea pot for Ivy? One second and Hero has it. Maybe a custom made gloves for Daniel? Hero already gifted him like a whole glove factory worth of gloves. Who knew that having everything can be bad? But Hero has a plan. And to no one's surprise it involves stalking his friends. With invisibility potions. Kevin and Robyn were taking a stroll in the courtyard. Ah yes a love potion would be perfect...no it's too basic and unethical.

Kevin: It's so quiet today.

Robyn: Well today even evil folks are enjoying the snow and the holiday spirit. Aaaaaaand BB hasn't been seen since yesterday.

Kevin: Now that's scarier than any possible attack on hogwarts or any secret place that isn't discovered yet.

Robyn: I can't wait to see what he will pull this time! I was sooooo jealous of those custom made Weasley Whizzbangs he used last week!

Kevin: The ones that he tied to every broom in the castle and let them roam freely?

Hero almost blew his cover by laughing at his own prank. But a professional stalker cannot make such rookie mistakes. But when he thinks of Slughorn running he can't help but snicker. But back to the conversation because Hero already has a gift idea for Robyn.

Kevin: Do you know what my cousin got me for Christmas?

Robyn: Let me guess books.

Kevin: Dueling books.

Robyn started laughing.

Kevin: A year prior they got me monster books! It chewed up my limited edition cook book!

Robyn: Wait what? Cook book?

Kevin: Yes. There is a dessert called the Ice Queen's pudding. I love it but the only recipe for it is in Mrs. Burnback's limited edition Magic in the Kitchen books. They are long sold out and if you try to write down the recipe it disappears!

Robyn: What an amazing jinx for something so trivial. Don't worry Kev maybe the black market has a copy of it.

Kevin: It will be freezing in hell the day I set foot there again.

Mission accomplished. Cue the music! Now all Hero has to do is find the others. To his surprise Ivy and Daniel were actually looking for him. Well it is kind of out of character for him not to harass either of them. They might be worried about him! But it's more likely that Daniel needs weed again but Ivy won't let him go into the Forbidden Forest alone anymore since he got lost in it. Twice.

Ivy: Hey Cassandra! I know we aren't the best if friends but have you seen Hero?

Cassandra: Who?

Daniel: BB.

Cassandra: No I haven't seen any fashion disasters. Well I have but not as severe as BB is.

Ivy: How could no one seen him?

Daniel: Yeah I mean he has white hair. Not to mention that bag he carries around. He stands out like a sore thumb. And there are no traces of disaster either. I think he's dead.

Ivy: Daniel don't say that!

Cassandra: Oh don't worry knowing him he will be back to haunt you guys.

Ivy: Come on, it's not funny!

Daniel: Have you considered that he has other friends and he is with them?

Ivy: ...

Cassandra: ...

Daniel: You are right it's the most unlikely scenario.

Ivy: Anyways, any plans for Christmas?

Wow they forgot him really quickly.

Cassandra: My parents will organise a Christmas party. I want everything to be perfect but so far nothing is going according to plan!

Ivy: Because?

Cassandra: I don't have any accessories!

Daniel: Should have thought.

Cassandra: Silence turtle neck. Do you know how hard it is to find a fitting earring that is elegant but not simple but not too extravagant for the new dress that Night sky fashion released?

Ivy: Oooooh the sparkly dress?

Cassandra: It's- Yes the "sparkly dress".

Daniel: Well I won't do anything out of the ordinary. I will probably help Esme with cooking dinner.

Ivy: Will there be any Christmas pudding?

Daniel: I know what I will get for you to Christmas.

Ivy laughed.

Cassandra: I would look out for my diet if I were you.

Ivy: I don't eat that many sweets!

Daniel: You eat so many since Hero won you that Honeydukes life time coupon on the Halloween dance that it is a health hazard!

Ivy: Not you too Daniel! That's it I want new friends for Christmas.

Cassandra: I'm not your friend.

Ivy: Than I suppose you don't need the gift I bought for you.

Cassandra: ...

Ivy: That's what I thought!

Daniel: Now that you mentioned it-

A chilly wind runs through the hallways of the castle and Daniel sneezes.

Daniel: This damn cold!

Cassandra: May I suggest purchasing a better coat? Maybe in a different colour. And style.

Daniel: I don't have the money for it right now. I had to buy Esme those concert tickets she wanted.

Ivy: I will make you some tea in the clubhouse.

Daniel: Thanks Ivy.

Ivy: No problem. I have been getting myself into tea flavours lately. But there are so many of them and some of them couldn't even be purchased in England!

Cassandra: Of course not! The more special tea bags come from China. My uncle got some dragon fruit and hibiscus tea for my mom's birthday.

Ivy: Sounds delicious!

Well Hero heard enough. He will send his dad to China. He will send hie mom to get a definitely not snake shaped accessory and a warm coat. She is the most elegant woman Hero knows after all. But maybe Cassandra's taste is even unknown for her. But oh well she should be happy that he won't put a baby dragon into that gift box. Hero finds Lottie and the twins chat in the great hall. What a rare site. But when he hears the conversation he instantly understands.

Lottie: That's so sweet of you two! Of course I will make a portrait of your mother!

Colby: Thanks a lot. We wanted something special and we aren't the best at this kind of stuff.

Fischer: Yeah thanks Lottie!

Lottie: No problem! I love it when someone shows interest in art. Speaking of art there is a beautiful limited edition Winter wonder palette from the famous painter Mr. Thompson. It's a shame it's already sold out.

Colby: Oh that's really a shame. But maybe you will find one at an auction. Some valuable stuff ends up there often.

Lottie: Yeah that's what my dad said too. And how will you spend Christmas?

Fischer: With a lot of tasty food and presents!

Colby muttering: If only I could tell them that I want a poetry book.

Fischer: What is it brother?

Colby: I said if only I could get a baby dragon!

Fischer: Oh yeah that would be cool. Do you think I could get a sign broom from Mr. Coldwell? He is the best beater in the quidditch league!

Lottie: Anything is possible if you set your mind to it!

Colby: But probably not. Mr. Coldwell is in training camp in Norway.

Fischer: One can dream brother.

And that's it folks the secret Santa has all the information needed. He can't wait for those surprised faces! But he should reveal himself soon, before Ivy reports him to the headmistress or worst Daniel wanders into the Forbidden Forest and gets lost. Again.

Pt 2 coming maybe?

[clatterbane]

Redneck Brewing #8/9: Raspberry Lingonapple Disaster Wine

This is one experiment I actually started several days ago, but put off posting about until after I had finally assembled a short collection of beginner homebrewing resource links that somebody asked about at least a week ago. (Still not finished yet, oops. 😒 I have definitely not forgotten about it, though, and still fully intend to get that done!)

Anyway, I'd been wanting to play around with a combo of apple juice and lingonberry juice drink (like cranberry juice, but with slightly different berries). But, then it occurred to me that the tail end of some yummy raspberry jam we had in the fridge might be a good addition. Nice touch of flavor which should play nicely with the lingonberry, plus more sugars built in.

So, I combined that in a sanitized jar with the juice concentrates (which make a liter of juice each), and treated it all with pectic enzyme to let sit and work for at least 12 hours. Hopefully break down the extra added pectin in the jam, besides the existing stuff in the juice, for a clearer drink in the end.

No sauerkraut involved here, btw. That was just a convenient saved jar. 😁

This ended up as two bottles testing out slightly different yeast varieties again because I done fucked up, y'all.

The original plan was to make a single 1.75L batch. So, my tired dyscalculic ass had some kind of mental lapse and added way more sugar than it the yeast could hope to deal with. Good thing I was using a hydrometer to check the sugar content, is all I can say.

What started out as 1.75L of nice extra-fruity must needed to get watered down to two 1.4L batches. Which still worked out to just over 18% ABV in the end, when I was aiming for maybe 11-12% in the finished product. One of them may end up overly sweet, because I'm really not sure how much one of those yeasts can take. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But, may as well find out!

So yeah, this stuff may or may not be very drinkable in the end. Still seemed better to proceed with the weird watery syrup fuckups, than to just waste it all down the sink. Worst case, I'm out a little yeast, besides some time and effort.

Oh yes, being fully committed to my dubious decisions, and also even more tired by that point in the proceedings?

I realized that our hoard of deposit bottles had gone back to the store, so we didn't actually have convenient spare 2L bottles to pour the diluted shit into. So, fuck it: we're running with 1.4L batches in 1.5L bottles with basically no headspace! 🥴

Our little yeasty buddies do seem extremely happy so far, at least! So yeah, it's been going through cycles of trying to climb put through the airlocks. (And me needing to clean those out and resanitize several times already today.) And I have been glad that I did at least think to set the bottles into the usual overflow protection containers.

[Reminder to self: get hold of some blowoff tubing that actually fits. 🙄]

The actual ingredients broken down by bottle, btw. The second bottle is the same, except for using the Mangrove Jack AW-4 yeast instead. I will probably add another 0.6g of the DAP nutrient to each in a couple of days, because this yeast could probably use all the help it can get!

[incorrectcoldflashblog]

☔️ and🌈 for the wip ask!

Hi, friend! Thank you so much for asking <3 And sorry it took me almost two days to get to this one, haha.

-> Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Hmm, well, I’ve already talked a few times about my abandoned Genie AU, so I guess I’ll talk about my To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before Coldflash fic, since I’m sadly not convinced I’ll ever get around to writing that one. Or any other multichapters tbh, trying to finish the ones I’ve started has been slowly killing my creativity :(

So, yeah, if you don’t know, TATBILB is a book/film series about a girl named Lara Jean Covey who writes letters to her crushes but never actually sends them, and then one day all of her letters mysteriously get sent and she starts fake dating one of the guys to cover up the fact that she has a huge crush on her sister’s ex.

Basically, the fic was going to be inspired by the concept of the books/films and have Barry’s letters to his crushes get out, but still roughly set within the canon of the show, so not quite an AU. It was going to be post-Flashpoint, with two major differences, a) Len not being dead, and b) Eddie not being dead either and engaged to Iris.

Just like in TATBILB, Barry was going to have five letters get out, including one to Iris, and one to Len. In the fic Barry wrote the letter to Len after the Christmas episode and while he definitely meant what he said, he also knew this particular crush would never work out and only wrote the letter as a way to get it all out on the page and move on.

The thing that really concerns Barry is the letter to Iris, because not only does it go pretty deep into how much Barry still loves her, but it also reveals to her that Eddie used to be dead, so it’s a bit of a disaster all around when the letter gets out. Just like in the books/films, Len comes around to tease Barry about the letter he wrote to him and when Iris shows up, Barry is kind of desperate to avoid having a conversation with her so he lays one on Len and then promptly runs away.

The outline for the fic very roughly follows the plot of the movie, with Len and Barry agreeing to fake date each other so Barry can convince Iris he’s moved on, and so Len can allegedly get back at Sara for dumping him post-Oculus (although, if you know Len, you know he always has an ulterior motive or ten). Cue all the fake dating shenanigans that you hope to see in that kind of fic, and them eventually realizing that they want to be a couple for real. It was a very fluffy/low stakes idea, but admittedly I’ve lost a lot of motivation for writing multichapters so I just don’t think I’ll get around to writing this one, at least not until I finish my current projects anyway! And who knows when that could be.

-> Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP

Since I know you’re reading the Vegas fic, I’ll pick something cheesy from the flashback in Chapter 6. Oh, and thank you because this forced me to open that doc for the first time in months ;)

“You found me,” he says above the music, which seems to pulse with feverish gratitude.

“Barry?”

“You were gone for ages. I thought you weren’t coming back."

“I’m not going anywhere, Barry.” Len lifts a hand to cup Barry’s cheek and the rest of the crowd–the rest of Vegas, the rest of the world–is effectively blotted out for the moment. “Not one damn place without you.”

“Do you promise?”

Len’s smile is tiny but it makes Barry feel like he’s back in the tub, floating in warm water.

“Cross my heart,” Len says. He reaches up to push Barry’s sunglasses—where did he get those?—up onto his head, but then his hand drops to make an X over Barry’s chest.

From the way Len is looking at him and the way he’s nudged himself so close, Barry assumes Len is going to kiss him and sucks an expectant breath. But Len rests his forehead against Barry’s first, and it makes Barry’s heart swell and jump for a different reason. Sex is awesome and intimate and makes you feel good, and sex with Len had been the most perfect thing ever, but that contact between them…the way Len lays his head against Barry’s and just looks into his eyes…it makes Barry’s heart stutter and his insides melt. It feels way more intimate than any kiss or sex. It feels like Len is sharing something with Barry that he’s never shared with anybody, and Barry feels happy and weightless, like his insides are all warm and melting.

Ask Game for teasing WIPs/upcoming projects

[voluptuarian]

I'm so fucking tired... not physically (for once) but just like Of everything. I feel like nothing I do accomplishes anything, like I'm going nowhere, like I'm constantly on the edge of some disaster, and like I have no control over any facet of my life.

I realized in the middle of my stats class, which is always a miserable experience, as I was being faced with algebra yet again, that I have been grappling helplessly and inescapably with math for probably longer than most my classmates have been alive. It's supposed to end someday, and yet here I am, 35 and almost graduated and here's fucking algebra once again.

I'm desperate for money, so I try and get more/alternative work, but either it's dependent on others and so will never happen, or I literally do not have time to do it in. I try and sell things, and nobody will take them. Even when I try to buy things I can't find them, or afford them, or people selling them just ignore me, for no reason, which is why I still don't have a goddamn sofa. I can't even rely on people close to me to help me do the most basic things I ask them to.

College has made the passage of time feel like the end of the fucking world anyway, but now that I have one term's length in which to accomplish everything I've ever needed to do in my life every day that passes feels like a death sentence. Like getting to the halfway point of February fills me with absolute dread. I'm working so hard to get ahead on as much as I can in all my classes so I can avoid a backlog with finals, because if I have to take an incomplete on anything that will put my graduation in jeopardy, so I live like a madwoman now. I still have an incomplete from last term that I need to finish, but I'm too busy with my other courses to deal with it now, so I'll have to spend my spring break doing that. Never mind I need to get my name changed beforehand, and figure out what I'm even going to do after graduation-- I'll be out of money forever then, so I have to either have an internship set up, or be going straight into graduate school (not that I have any idea what I'm doing in that regard) or have something else set up. And any of those things requires some other person to respond to me, answer my questions, choose or approve me, so they're all obviously doomed, because I'm a like a non-person passing through life-- I already know any situation whatsoever which requires the approval or involvement of anyone but myself (which is like 90% of life) is doomed from the start, because even if they're not actively working against me out of some innate hostility that I inspire in half the people I interact with, they just feel no need to do anything or make any effort or even respond because they just don't actually register that I exist I guess. How am I supposed to be even educationally or professionally successful in a situation like that, let alone like ever have friends or a significant other or any kind of rewarding relationship whatsoever? (Not that I would ever have the time to spend on those lol)

Meanwhile I have to choose between buying things I need for my still-mostly-unmoved-into apartment, or spend my widow's mite donating to some new crisis that none of the powers that be care to do anything about. And I do this hopelessly-- I keep seeing posts that are like "don't lose hope for Palestine!" "I know Palestine will be free in my lifetime!" I don't believe that; I don't have hope. Palestine hasn't been free in my lifetime, it hasn't been free in my parent's lifetime, why would I think anything would change now? Some of my earliest memories are hearing about suicide bombings on busses in the 90s-- I've always known this situation would never end well, and I don't have any hope for it now when it's gotten worse-- I give what I can and do what I can and try to make an impact for a few individuals for awhile, but I don't have any hope for the future. And meanwhile, anything I do for one cause takes away from what I can do for any other cause elsewhere. If I give to Palestine today, I can't give to Ukraine tomorrow, if I give to Ukraine today I can't donate to a go fund me in America tomorrow...

(Let's not even get into the stress of the election, and what the fuck I'm going to do if somehow Biden doesn't win... like I will need to be out of the country ASAP then and don't even know I'll manage that...)

And on top of all this I live with a landlord who's remodeling our entire building while we still live in it, BECAUSE WHY WOULD I EVER HAVE ONE NICE THING so waking up at 8 am to insanely loud construction sounds and endlessly yelling and cussing workers is just a normal part of my life now. I will come home after a night shift and hope and pray that I can sleep for 4 hours before something wakes me up. I have to put signs up on my door every day with "do not disturb" or "on zoom please be quiet" or "no entry before 10 am" just to try and have a normal life, and I will STILL get people pounding on my door trying to get in regardless. I had to email my landlord just today going "no, having your incapable workers try to fix the terrible paint job they already spent four days inconveniencing me with on Monday morning at 8 am will not work for me, since I will have just come home from a night shift-- they have to wait till at least the afternoon to barge into my house and intentionally bring the value of my apartment down." I have no autonomy, no control, no normalcy, no routine, and no privacy in my own home, even when I live alone. That's more than I deserve to have apparently.

Everything in my life is just pointless, and meaningless, and completely out of my control no matter what I do, and I spend every hour of the day in dread of one thing or another. I feel like somebody turned on a laugh track the day I was born and it won't turn off until I die. And it's always been like this! It's always going to be like this! The situations change but the outcome is always the same and nothing I do ever solves it and I'm so FUCKING SICK OF IT

[purplesurveys]

1654

What is one change you need to make in your life this month? A month? That’s super short-term...erm, maybe trying to figure out a new position when I sleep? I’ve been waking up with very sore shoulders and numb arms lately. What was one good thing about today? My mom finally started using what was my Christmas gift to her – a portable, foldable bathtub hahaha. She always said she’d set it up once the climate gets warmer, and now that summer’s started she stuck to her word and used it for the first time today.

What’s been tugging on your heart lately? The whole sticky situation of mine and my friends’ fate regarding Yoongi’s concert. It’s too complicated to explain in full, but basically a major part of it is that Angela was lucky enough – and was the only one in our group of 4 – to secure 1 ticket (Reena didn’t get one from the ticketing website but quickly got to snatch one from a seller, so she’s covered), and she said she’s willing to turn it over to me while she and Hans can just go around Bangkok on the day of the concert. It’s a very conflicting situation on my end because as much as she says that she picked me and genuinely wants me to go, she is also my best friend in the world and I don’t want to enjoy the show knowing that I got in with a ticket she got, in a show she should be enjoying.

I’m super 50-50 about it right now because I’m heavily leaning towards just selling the ticket so neither of us go, but anyway that’s the reason why we’re still trying to chase extra tickets from people selling theirs – we want to be complete, and we want all of us 4 to get to watch the show. We’re starting to get offers from people willing to sell their extras, so we’ll just have to see where this takes us.

Are you comfortable with who you are? Have you accepted who you are? I’m at least more at peace with myself than I was, say, three years ago. I’d say that’s as good as it would get. There’ll always be things to work on and I don’t think I’ll ever get to say I ‘accept’ myself fully.

All the money you ever need or someone to spend the rest of your life with? Money; I don’t need a lifelong partner. Decided on that a long time ago.

What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? THE YOONGI THING UGH. I feel both guilty and bad about it. Of fucking course I want to see Yoongi, but I don’t want it to come from a place where my friend would have to give up her ticket for me. Worst case scenario none of us go and of course, honestly speaking, that would be a huge bummer.

Would you have sex with the last person you texted? Can’t remember the last person I texted but probably not.

What was the last thing you received in the mail? Just bills for electricity and water.

Who did you last creep on? Like...stalk? Just influencer profiles I had to review to see if they’d be a good fit for one of the campaigns I’m working on.

What country would you most like to visit in the future? I’d love just to go back to Korea. One day in Jeju is too short a time to be there.

At your workplace, are you required to wear a uniform? Nah, just a dress code.

Who is the last person that gave you butterflies? I had this minor crush on a girl I had to work with for an ad/commercial shoot. She was like production manager or something like that and anyway she fit what would typically be my type...but then that all ended when our most recent shoot ended up a disaster and we had to go like...9 hours overtime. It was a very stressful situation at work and I’d rather not get into detail but anyway that marked the end of any butterflies I had for her lmao.

Do you consider weed, marijuana, pot, etc. a drug? Well, yeah.

Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? Nope. Do you require a lot of private time? Um, not really. I like being around people, and having weekends to myself usually suffices as me-time already.

Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? Yep.

Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get him to leave you alone? Kind of? What I did before was stick closer to my partner at the time and wait for them to get the hint.

If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? Gus Fring.

-- a lil two-in-one again for this round --

Hi, Your name is? Robyn.

What was the last thing you ate? Aligue pasta.

Do you hold the singstar microphone with your right or left hand? The...what?

What’s the best part about flying? The views at the start and end. The flights themselves can get so boring, but I still gun for the window seat as much as possible as views of the city always get me in the feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels.

Who did you last have a deep and meaningful conversation with? Andi. I talked to them about my struggles with enjoying wrestling these days, and how I was starting to come to terms with the fact that I can’t actually digest technical wrestling and mostly watch shows for their entertainment/storyline value. Very WWE way of doing things – which is why I’ve always struggled to get into other promotions. It prompted Andi to open up and they got into this whole spiel of what technical wrestling is really all about, and taught me some mental notes to take note of the next time I watch wrestling so I can get into the in-ring chemistry more. They gave me some sample matches to watch too, just so I can understand better what they meant with their tips. Really loved that conversation. 

Any vacations planned? Yeah I’ve now got two in June. Bangkok with friends, and then Kuala Lumpur with family that same week. The latter has me going CRAZY because my mom booked it to be the same week I’m flying back to Manila from Bangkok :((((( So basically, I arrive in Manila from Bangkok on a Tuesday morning; then Friday evening I’ll be on a plane again en route to KL. It’ll be such a hectic couple of weeks for me lol.

Who were you last in a car with? Mom and siblings.

Do you play any sports? Table tennis.

Which friend have you known the longest? Angela and I have been friends for 18 years.

Do you drink the recommended 6-8 glasses of water per day? No. I drink a lot of water in a day, but not up to 8 glasses.

How many times have you been to Wet'n'Wild? What’s that?

Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? No, not into anime.

Chocolate or Vanilla ice cream? Honestly neither since I find chocolate to be too strong a flavor and vanilla too bland; but if I didn’t have a choice I might just go with chocolate.

Do you have a facebook? Yes.

Favourite shop? Ncat, hahahahaha.

What was the last thing you brought on ebay? I’ve never bought anything from eBay.

Did you know that Deli Lama is actually a person and not a Llama? Deli Lama??????????

Do you think Merryl Streep can actually sing in Mamma Mia? Idk I’ve never seen that movie and am not interested.

What gym do you have a membership to? None.

What do you want for Christmas? Damn, I have to pick this early? Hahaha at this point, if anyone asked me I’d probably just ask for Yoongi tickets.

Do you think hiptops should be called “shit tops”? I have no idea what this question is talking about.

If you had to get glasses would you wear contacts? I can’t stand anything being put near or in my eyes, so no. I’ll always prefer glasses.

Are Mac’s really better than PC’s? I’m sure both have their strengths but having experienced both, I prefer Macs. My old HP laptop lagged all the time and was a hub for viruses and it was all generally just very stressful for me lol.

Favourite drink? Just cold water.

Have you ever been to the snow? No, I’ve never seen snow.

New Year’s Plans? No clue, it’s too early to plan for that.

Would you agree that Sex and The City is the best show ever? I’ve never seen it but I’m pretty confident there are tons of better shows.

Do you call your friends with red hair “ranga’s”? No?

Should Paris Hilton consider running for president? No.

If you were to go to prison for one thing, what would it be? Idk man. Maybe disrespecting police because ACAB and because I realistically would have no problem doing that when push comes to shove, and especially if I feel disrespected first.

[sorry-apsalar]

Christmas Cookies

Summary: Fry intends to throw a proper Christmas party this year.

~

Evil killer Robo-Santa be damned, this year Fry was going to throw the best Christmas party the world had ever seen. Or if not the world – because he wasn’t delusional enough to believe himself anywhere even close to capable enough to be able to pull that off – then at least in recent Planet Express history. Like since he’d started working with them kind of recent. That he could do because none of those parties had been all that great so surely he could do better… maybe. He was going to try at any rate.

To deal with the whole Santa wanting to kill people problem, he’d hold it in the Planet Express basement. Not the most spacious or comfortable of places but he and Bender hung out down there all the time to avoid work and in the process had already largely cleared it out of useless junk that kept getting in their way. He’d probably have to ask Bender for help moving a few more things but probably, hopefully, nothing too bad.

First came the music, the most important part of a party. All the modern Christmas music was about the evil Santa killing people and whatnot; not the vibe he was looking for. So since he had to use old music anyway, why not he stuff he grew up with? He pirated it of course, using what Bender had taught him about modern digital piracy, because he couldn’t afford to purchase as much as he’d have wanted. And why should he have to buy songs he’d used to own anyway?

Next came the lights, tinsel, wreath, and even a Christmas tree, not a real one unfortunately but it would do nonetheless. All easily acquired through the internet. The special Christmas punch was also easy as this was far from Fry’s first time getting ready to make spiked punch for a party. He just had to make sure it was Christmasy by adding nutmeg or something to it too.

The hard part came when it was time to prepare the Christmas sugar cookies. He’d never been much of a baker and while he could do store brought that would be sacrilege. So, the morning of Christmas Eve, he set to trying his best. How hard could it really be? He’d used to help with this all the time as a kid. Yeah, with adult supervision, but he was an adult now too so surely he could do this just fine by himself.

Bender poked his head into the kitchen only a few seconds after the fire alarm starting blaring. “What’cha burning?”

A bit to distracted by the fire on the tray of ‘cookies’ he was currently holding, Fry didn’t answer as he hurriedly – but still carefully as possible lest this disaster grow any worse – put it on the stove top. At least he’d remember to wear oven mitts before picking it up. But now what? How did he put it out? Water! … He should douse it with water from the sink!

Before he could even grab a pot to start filling, Bender stepped forward and sprayed whit foam over it with his hand. “Lucky for you, I just got my fire extinguisher tank refilled a couple days ago.”

“Thanks.” Fry’s heart was hammering still. This was why he didn’t try to bake often. Things were so easy to forget once hidden away in the oven.

To put off having to explain things for a bit, he jogged over and turned off the fire alarm. With that done though there was nothing left to do but to return to the stove and frown down at what was supposed to have been sugar cookies. But hey, at least when covered with fire extinguisher foam, they were hidden from view.

“I’m trying to make Christmas cookies,” he said before Bender could ask again. He’d intended to keep this idea a surprise for as long as he could but he’d basically been caught red handed. “I’m going to throw a Christmas party in Planet Express’ basement tomorrow instead of the dark and quiet one we normally have.”

Bender scoffed. “You throw a party, huh? I can’t imagine that turning out good.”

“No. I’m trying really hard and it’s going to be great, you’ll see. Except for, uh…” He glanced back the foam covered baking tray. “I’ll just get some store brought cookies instead, I guess.” Those weren’t as good but he wasn’t sure he was up for another attempt at it after how badly this one failed.

“Hmm…” Bender stepped forward to look down at the tray too. “Nah, you’re in luck Fry because I’m bored and there’s nothing on TV so I’ll help you make your cookies or whatever.”

“Wait, really? I thought you only liked to cook.”

Bender raised a hand to a dismissive gesture. “Cooking and baking are basically the same thing.”

“Sort of, I think, maybe.” Fry wasn’t sure he wanted Bender’s help though, given how Bender’s food usually turned out. But then again, maybe working together they could combine the good parts of their food making skills – if it could even be said they had any skill in that area whatsoever – and make something halfway decent or maybe even good. That or they’d make something inedible and set it on fire. Well, it was probably worth the risk, what more could go wrong that hadn’t already? “All right, sure. Let’s try again.”

[the-random-phan]

Raven Locks and Raven Wings

This was basically an excuse for me to write trio bonding +wings heh

I tried to make the title a BTS reference. Can you tell?

WC: 3,294

FFnet

Ao3

Summary:

Halfas are adaptable, and easily influenced by their companions. Danny has gotten a lot of features from his ghostly allies -horns, a tail, fangs- but by far the most drastic has been a set of wings. And they didn't exactly come with an instruction manual.

Of all these side effects of becoming a halfa, one thing Danny hadn’t expected was wings. Huge, feathery, cumbersome wings.

Wings were the latest development in a long string of oddities. It started with fangs, then a pair of icy horns sprouting out of the top of his head. After that came a change in the way his hair acted, burning like a cold flame and not entirely corporal. Then shimmering white scales along his back, paired with a reptilian tail. He seemed to gain a new limb or accessory for each ally he made. He wasn’t entirely sure who the fangs came from -there were multiple possibilities in that category (his least favorite of which being Vlad)- but the horns were from Frostbite, hair from Ember, and the tail from Dorathea in all her dragon-ness.

Frostbite explained it as halfas simply being more “adaptable” than normal ghosts, which Danny thought was fitting enough. It was a better option than a thorough examination of his inner psyche. Not that Jazz hadn’t tried to do that anyway after he returned home from that particular visit to the Far Frozen.

But who did he know with bird wings? His feathers matched the pattern and color of either a raven or crow; all black, but with an iridescent shimmer. From a quick google search he thought they looked more like a raven’s, but he couldn’t be entirely certain. These new protrusions were quite large, with a wingspan of 13 feet. This was of course according to Sam, who currently held a tape measure. Tucker held up the other end.

Danny’s parents were out shopping, so they used the open space of the lab to check out his new limbs in a way he hadn’t been able to in the bathroom where he originally discovered them. He’d run away from breakfast at his ghost sense and used the downstairs bathroom as a place to hide. Imagine his surprise when he transformed and suddenly the small half-bath was filled with feathers. By the time he got back from the fight, his parents had gone out for the day. He called Sam and Tuck first thing, and they rushed over.

“Dang, who’d you nab these from?” Tucker asked as Sam showed him the measurement. Danny folded his wings in so that they were tucked flat to his body. He turned around carefully to face his friends, careful not to knock anything over. He already needed a new lamp, dammit.

“That’s the million dollar question.” Danny sighed and reverted to human form. He was lucky that his various ghostly limbs didn’t cross over, or that would be a disaster. Though his canines did feel suspiciously sharp.

“I just hope they don’t get in the way too much when I’m fighting," Danny sighed.

The trio moved on quickly. Danny's wings became just another addition to their already crazy lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m gonna murder Skulker.” Danny huffed. The mech had ruffled his feathers, quite literally. Danny collapsed on Sam’s couch, wings taking up the entire thing. Skulker was an idiot. An idiot with a second-death wish, to be exact. It would seem that he’d teamed up with Plasmius again, because no way could he have done this without the other idiot’s help.

The Jaeger-wanna-be had blasted Danny with some weapon or another, which he thought was a dud until after he sucked Skulky into the thermos. Then he’d found that he was unable to revert to human form or use any of his powers. Zilch, zero, zip. None of them, not even his ghost sense wanted to work. He still glowed like a damn flashlight, of course. Never before had Danny gotten a stronger urge to chuck the Fenton Thermos into a lake.

“Move it birdbrain, this is the best seat in the house.” Sam almost sat on his wing, and would have if he hadn’t moved it at the last moment.

“Well excuse me, princess.” Danny huffed. He draped one wing across his chest, noting quite disgustedly that feathers were greasy and not laying right. But he was tired, and that could be dealt with tomorrow.

“I thought we agreed to no bird puns for the night?” Danny shot Sam a look through a gap in his primary feathers.

“But bird puns are always a hoot!” Tucker interjected from the popcorn machine. Danny laughed and Sam just groaned.

“Okay, no bird puns starting now. Where’s that popcorn, Tuck?” Sam looked over the back of the couch.

“Hold your horses!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ok I can’t stand it anymore.” Tucker exclaimed suddenly in the middle of the movie. He set a hand on Danny’s shoulder.

“Buddy, you smell like you were dragged through a landfill and sprayed in sweat. You gotta do something about your wings.”

“I don’t smell anything.” Danny replied, sinking into the couch and all-too-aware of his wings pressed into the cushions. Sam paused the movie.

“Well I promise, it’s not pleasant.” Tucker commented. Danny just sank sheepishly further into the couch.

“Do you need help with cleaning them?” Sam offered lightly.

“Nah, I’ll just try to deal with them when I get home.” Danny reached forward to grab the remote but was stopped by Tucker grabbing his arm.

“No way, you’re getting a bird bath. Sam, do you have a tub big enough for this oversized avian?” Tucker asked. Sam was already standing up, brushing the popcorn off her skirt.

“I certainly do.” She grabbed Danny’s other arm and hauled him up off the couch with Tucker’s help. Danny let himself fall forward like dead weight. Water and feathers did not sound like a fun combination, and he didn’t want to find out if his gut was right or not.

“Stop being so stubborn! We’ll be careful. This needs to be done, Danny.” Sam dropped his arm and he acted, quickly smacking away Tucker’s hand and cocooning himself inside his wings. They were right, the aroma wasn’t entirely pleasant, but neither was the thought of washing his wings. He hadn’t done anything more than phase off the dirt yet and had been pushing a real washing off for as long as he could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a lot of coaxing, but eventually, Sam and Tucker managed to stealthily drag Danny upstairs and into one of the many bathrooms. It was a miracle they weren't spotted, but it being almost 11 at night likely helped their cause.

They got into the bathroom and Sam locked the door behind them. Danny plopped down on the floor, struggling to get his suit top off without intangibility. Tucker sat on the countertop and started looking up how to clean birds on the internet. Sam turned on the faucet and warm water poured into the tub. She was careful not to make it too hot.

“Ugh,” Tucker sighed, mid-search.

“Half of these sites are just saying ‘put the bird in water and let it do the rest.’” Tucker sat on the counter, leaning against the mirror.

“I don’t think I have the same instincts as real birds. And these things didn’t exactly come with an instruction manual." Danny got up from his seat on the floor and started looking through the drawers.

“Scissors are on the far right, middle drawer.” Sam interjected.

“You know me so well,” Danny grinned, finally finding the sharp object. Which Tucker immediately grabbed out of his hands.

“Let me do it, you’re gonna end up cutting yourself or at the very least slicing off a feather.” Danny grumbled but turned around when Tucker motioned him to.

“It’s a good thing my suit fixes itself.” Danny mused, earning a hum from Tucker. Danny’s back was a myriad of pale skin, white scales, black feathers, and scars. It was mostly lichtenberg figures, though the remnants of a slice or two could also be seen. The feathers extended past just Danny’s wings, coming all the way up to his shoulders and tufting upwards. What had been underneath the suit was almost dirtier than what was outside of it. The feathers were slick with sweat and pressed into Danny's back.

“Don’t you ever shower?” Tucker asked, half-horrified. It wasn’t from a place of ridicule, just concern.

“Not really in ghost form, I guess. It’s hard for a ghost to get a shower in a house where the walls are literally armed.” Danny responded saltily. Tucker cut carefully through the thick fabric, dulling the scissors. He also had to cut a line through the shirt underneath, a negative black-and-blue counterpart to Danny’s numerous white and red ovaled t-shirts.

“That’s gotta change then. Use this bathroom whenever you need it, just check for anyone inside first. I doubt anyone will come all the way up here, but better safe than sorry.” Sam offered. She tested the water once more and sat back to let the tub fill.

“What if somebody walks by and hears the water running?” Asked Danny. Tucker finally finishes the "alterations" to the back of Danny’s suit, allowing the halfa to pull the fabric forward and tie it around his waist with the arms. His gloves were abandoned on the countertop, and his boots were still down in the theater room.

“Go invisible, and I’ll come up with some excuse. Probably blame it on a ghost. Boxy seems like the best candidate for that, maybe Klemper.”

“Thank-you, Sam.” Danny truly was grateful. The question had crossed his mind before, but he never had the courage to voice it.

“My bathtub isn’t nearly as big, but the offer stands for my house as well. We’ve got a guest bedroom with an attached bath that rarely gets used.”

“You guys are awesome.” Danny grinned. He felt a bit pathetic and sad that he had to rely on his friends for such a simple thing, but he shoved that thought right back out of the door it’d come through.

“We won’t be so awesome in a few minutes. Now get over here.” Sam commanded, and Danny noticed that the tub was now about half-full. A bolt of fear went through him, imagining his wings drenched in water. They were heavy enough as it was. Danny unconsciously squeezed the offending feathery beasts tighter against his back, to keep them from being pulled away from his body. He backpedaled a bit, distancing himself from the tub.

“There’s gotta be a different way we can do this, right?” He asked uneasily.

“Just come here Danny. We’ll figure it out.” Sam coaxed. But Tucker was not nearly as kind, and got behind Danny to physically push him towards the small body of water. The tub was a clean white, and set into the floor. It had white lights underneath the surface and Danny spotted deactivated water jets. It was like a mini hot tub.

Danny sighed in defeat and gingerly lowered himself into the water, facing the wall and the giant wall-length mirror in front of him. The tub was only maybe a third of the way full, and came up to Danny’s waist. He held his wings above the surface of the water, testing out the warmth. It was cooler than he normally liked, but in this form his “normal” would probably be intensely uncomfortable. There were downsides to having an ice core. Plus, he wasn’t sure how sensitive his wings would be to the water temperature.

The halfa watched the reflection as Sam and Tucker pried off their shoes and socks then Tucker rolled up his pants. They sat on the rim of the tub behind Danny, feet just barely in the water. The halfa had to admit, this was a very good setup for such a thing.

“The websites mostly said not to use soap, but if it’s too bad we can. I tried to specifically find info on crows and ravens, but they aren’t exactly conventional pets.”

“I feel like that’s a not-so-subtle jab of some sort.” Danny said with a raised brow. Tucker met his gaze in the mirror.

“What, me? No way.”

“Disregarding that obvious lie, what kinda soap do we wanna use? I'm pretty sure it's gonna be necessary. I’ve got some two-in-one shampoo and conditioner that might be good.”

“Most of these say to use dish soap, but that’s mostly so it doesn’t hurt birds’ eyes or whatever. I say we try your stuff and see what happens.”

“I gotta say, this is one experiment I never imagined.” Danny’s back already ached from keeping his wings up for so long. Tucker must’ve noticed the shaking.

“Why don’t you rest them against the sides of the tub? We’ll just stand so we can reach them better.” Danny did just that, immediately relieved.

“Thanks.” And with that, Sam and Tuck got to work. Tucker on Danny’s right wing and Sam on the left. Each armed with a cup and bottle of 2-in-1 shampoo-conditioner, a great contrast from the ectoguns they regularly brandished.

Sam started at his largest feathers, the primaries, working the soap into each feather and quickly creating a sudsy mess. She smoothed out various feathers that Danny hadn’t even realized were out of place until the prickly feeling of a displaced feather was relieved.

Tucker began at the top of his wing, near his back. He ruffled up the plumage in order to get the soap in, which was surprisingly easy with the smaller, softer feathers. As Tucker worked his way out he stuck his hand between the layers instead of moving them out of the way, and Danny wasn’t sure whether it was nice or bordering on painful. After a few rows, Tucker switched to Sam’s earlier method, going through primary by primary.

Danny was left in a state of pure bliss. It was like the sensation of someone playing with his hair but multiplied by, like, seven. He was distinctly aware of each feather, which was surprisingly a good thing.

Danny forgot that the mirror in front of him worked both ways, and while focusing on the sensations he missed the smiles passed between his two best friends in the entire world.

“Having fun?” Sam asked. Danny hummed non-committaly as Tucker reached a twisted feather and moved it back into place. Unconsciously the halfa’s draconic tail swished back and forth in the water, making small ripples and almost taking out Sam’s ankle if she hadn’t moved out of the way.

Danny was on the verge of sleep, held upright only by his wings. Then things went wrong.

A cut-off yelp escaped Danny as his tail was stepped on. His wings flared, spewing soap and water all over the walls. Not to mention the disaster that now was the mirror. His powers had also apparently come back to him at some point during the bath, as he was now waist-deep in an oversized ice cube. Luckily neither Sam nor Tucker were caught in the sudden popsicle that was the bathtub.

His feathers were now all fluffed up like a cat, effectively undoing much of the work that had been done. Danny felt goosebumps raise up on his skin in a wave, which oddly included his wings. Now that was weird.

Danny phased out of the ice (leaving quite the neat-looking hole from where his body had been) and regarded it, as well as the horrid state of the bathroom.

“Got a hairdryer?” Danny chuckled sheepishly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danny soared through the Ghost Zone towards Clockwork's lair. He relished in the lightness of his wings now that they were free from gunk, glad that his feathers were no longer sticking together and moved smoothly over each other with every hearty flap. It was almost freeing, and worrying. He hadn’t realized just how badly he’d been neglecting them.

Danny wanted to ask Clockwork about his wings and who they might be from. He didn’t expect a clear answer, but any clue would be a good one. Maybe he could also get some tips from the omniscient on how to take care of them better, since just phasing the dirt off didn’t do the trick.

Briefly switching from wing flight to ghost flight, Danny landed right outside of CW’s lair. It was a massive purple clocktower that contained various other spires rising into the sky. Or at least what counted for a sky in the Infinite Realms. The Clocktower looked almost small on the outside, but as far as Danny knew it was infinite on the inside.

“Clockyyyyy!” Danny called as he stepped inside. The doors opened right up for him, so there was no way CW wasn’t already aware of his presence. It was actually Danny’s first time visiting since his wings had popped up two months ago. Ghost attacks had picked up, and with Vlad making yet another cloning attempt he’d been otherwise preoccupied.

“To what do I owe this visit, Daniel?” Clockwork asked, materializing from both nowhere and everywhere all at once. He was very paradoxical like that. He was in child form, practically draping himself over still his full-size staff.

“I don’t expect a straight answer, but I was wondering if you might know who I got these babies from.” Danny presented his wings in all of their beastly beauty, proud of just how clean they were and how the feathers shimmered in the light. They dwarfed his body, spread out to his full wingspan. A look of surprise glanced across CW’s features, something that was new to Danny.

“Ah, that explains a lot.” Clockwork said to himself. As he thought, he shifted to adult form. His staff now fit comfortably to his proportions, and he leaned against it.

“I am unable to clearly see events that evolve myself, particularly ones ectoplasmic in nature, as the very energy is unpredictable and can cloud my vision.”

“M'kay?” Danny responded, barely absorbing the information. He folded his wings against his back and collapsed on a nearby couch, grabbing one of CW’s infamous brownies from the tray on the table.

“It would appear that you gained the wings from me.” Clockwork added, and Danny almost spit out his brownie.

“But you don’t-” Danny was proven wrong before he even got the sentence out, as Clockwork’s form shifted ever-so-slightly. It revealed a great pair of owl wings from underneath his cloak, pressed against his back. The feathers were mostly white but were dotted with black in places. It reminded Danny of Hedwig, the snowy owl from Harry Potter. Clockwork’s wings were more proportional to his body than Danny’s were, though at the same time they were much larger.

“It was most unlikely that you would develop a trait mirroring myself, although I suppose it is logical with how much time we’ve spent together.” Clockwork mused. Danny didn't even realized he'd moved until he had crossed half the distance between them. Danny reached out to touch it and Clockwork gave him a nod in permission.

“How do you keep them so clean?” Danny ran a hand lightly over Clockwork’s left wing, which he’d stuck out slightly more to the left as though bidding Danny feel it. The feathers were much softer than his own, and were a bright white that almost glowed. It matched Clockwork’s long white hair, which Danny had spotted on the occasion that the elder ghost removed his hood. It was rare, but it happened.

“Through manipulation of time, mostly. Technically my wings have never aged since the moment they existed.” Clockwork seemed a bit uncomfortable at the touch, even though he’d offered it. Danny backed up, retaking his place on the couch and stuffing his face with another brownie.

"That’s no help,” Danny sighed.

“But at least that's one mystery solved. Why do you have wings?" Danny questioned. A grin that almost bordered ‘creepy’ territory spread across Clockwork's face.

"I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase. Time flies."