#but also the funniest

[paintedcrows]

Whenever Bill sees KingOfNJ's fics through Stan's eyes he just thinks they have the same taste in fanfiction (disgusting. unthinkable) continued

[raeuberkotzenrotz]

[lazylittledragon]

dndads s1 you're so special to me

[cairafea]

my favourite genre of seventeen is when they're straight up lying

ref:

[ghostlyeris]

this is the only show that matters actually

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS S2 (2024): Capelyn "Count Fagula" Kiramman

[fullychaotichell]

SO, I wanted to draw the fakeout-makeout scene from the latest chapter of Of Saints and Sinners but I think I got a biiit carried away pfpf

@morningstarwrites you really fed us with this one, ngl 😳

(EDIT: Oh my god, forgot Alastor's stupid antlers in almost every single drawing dndnddm so, uh, replaced now lol (second edit: how did I miss Lucifer's cheeks too? This is what I get for staying up late to draw lmaoo)

[cor-lapis]

"If we must fight, Sethos... I shall defeat you with the power of my friend group of employed adults who miraculously have regularly scheduled meet-ups, and also my daughter!"

[redesigns]

[doctormori]

I love this book to death, so here's some things I noticed <3

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Picture this: Dragons using their caves to age cheese. Dragon Cheesemakers!!

The dragon coiled his enormous body, completely blocking the entrance of the tunnel that lead to the caves.

“No,” he snarled, smoke pluming from his nose.

The cheesemonger pinched the bridge of her own nose. “Look, I explained this to you at the start,” she tried once more. “I make cheese.”

“Yes,” the agreed, nodding his scaly head.

“Then I bring the cheese here.”

“Yes.”

“Then you store all the cheese in your cave, keeping it at the perfect temperature and humidity.”

“Yes.” He sounded particularly proud of this part.

“And then when the cheese has ripened,” she concluded. “I come to pick the cheese up again.”

A thunderous scowl clouded his maw. “No.”

“But that’s how it works!” she cried in exasperation. “I make the cheese, you store the cheese, I sell the cheese, I make more cheese!” She peered up at him. “You do realise I cannot bring you new cheese until I have sold this cheese.”

The dragon considered this for a moment. “Ah, but what if—” he began. “What if you go and make more cheese. And bring me the cheese. And I put it in my cave, with the rest of the hoard. And then I keep it there forever.”

“No,” she said flatly.

It was remarkable how much a dragon could look like it had just swallowed a lemon.

“You can’t keep cheese forever,” she insisted. “It will spoil and go bad!”

“You said it would get better and better!” the dragon roared indignantly. “And I take good care of them! With the air flow and the humidity and the temperature!”

“And that is great,” she said, trying to smile through her frustration. “But when a cheese is ripe, it’s ripe! Then you should not be kept anymore, it should be eaten.”

The dragon scraped it’s formidable claws against the stony ground and sulked.

“Look…” The cheese mongering business did not tend to require a lot of sweet-talking, but she was making an effort. “I’m sure the cheeses that aged in your cave are the best cheeses people have ever tasted. When they find out how delicious they are they will want us to make loads more. Maybe several caves’ worth!”

The reptilian eyes stared at her with disgruntled, reluctant interest. “Several caves?”

“If we’re lucky! And I could make so much cheese that I could bring you new cheese as soon as I pick up the aged cheese. Your cave would never even be empty!”

This seemed to strike a chord. The dragon lifted his head a little.

“And that would really be much better for the rest of your hoard,” she continued with fresh inspiration. “Because if you leave cheese too long, it might go bad and spoil the cheeses next to it too!”

A nervous ripple went through the beast’s scaly body, but he clearly was not convinced just yet. “But what sort of a hoard is it if I have to give it away,” he complained.

“Well! Cheese is not just any old hoard! It’s a developing creation! And you will have a hoard that is constantly developing too. Constantly changing, but, if we do this right, never shrinking.”

The dragon looked at her solemnly, wavering with uncertainty. Perhaps she shouldn’t hold it against the poor thing, it must be a difficult concept to wrap his head around.

“And I will tell you what,” she said encouragingly. “If business is good, I can start investing in some really good crumbly cheeses. You can keep those in your cave for five whole years!”

“That is quite a long time for humans, is it not?” he said, sounding a little more cheerful.

“Very long. Especially when it comes to cheese. Cheeses that have been aged that long are very expensive.”

In retrospect, she should perhaps have led with that. Gourmand or not, a dragon was still a dragon after all. A glittering, toothy grin appeared on her recalcitrant business partner’s shout and he moved just enough for her to move past him into the mountain.

“Tell me more about this expensive cheese that crumbles.”

She hid a smirk. “If you help me carry some of the current ones out, it would be my pleasure.”

[kayawolfhorse]

Discuss

[squeakadeeks]

YEAH BABEY

after making so many things you hit a point where you think. you know what. at any given moment theres nothing stopping me from being Austin Powers. then at some point. You will be Austin Powers.

[yujateaandpi]

Thought Fiddlestan was a purely comedic ship for a while but now I get it, I see the light. It’s about a man who nurtures and cares for others to the point of heartbreak meeting a man who doesn’t remember what it’s like for anyone to care about him. It’s about them being warm together around the absence of someone they both love. It’s about Fiddleford’s innate domesticity comforting a man whose deepest desire was to come home. It’s about falling in love with the same face again but in a new context that heals your past trauma. It’s about Stan’s unbridled affection finally validating someone who desperately needed the recognition. It’s also about very funny old man yaoi.

[musouie]

convinced that könig is the epitome of a “malewife”

he’ll get up at the crack of dawn to make you breakfast, something new every day, and give you a sloppy kiss before you’re out the door and off to work.

and while you’re out: he’ll sweep the floors, polish the countertops, even rearrange the pantry if it seems too cluttered and disorganised (by colour on the days that feel long), until he feels you’ll be satisfied.

he then lounges around, switches through television programmes or flips through a book he’s neglected since the day before. but when he grows especially restless, he settles instead for waiting by the door like some needy house-pet (which is fitting, isn’t it?)

and in the evening, if you return noticeably stressed, he’ll help you shed your coat, usher you to the sofa with a massive hand on your back, and listen attentively as you confide all your worries to him as he massages the supple flesh of your inner thigh.

and if that doesn’t work — if that stubborn crease between your brow has yet to ease — he’ll bury his head between your legs and eat you out so tenderly until you forget why you were tense in the first place.

he’ll lick eager stripes against your cunt, suckle on your clit, and lap up all the slick that drips from your hole and smears over his chin. he’ll do it all, until his jaw aches and his tongue is numb and his lips are swollen, and you’re a whimpering mess, fingers knotted in his hair and thighs trembling as they cage his head.

and when you’re done, and you’ve ridden out the last of your orgasm, he’ll swallow the cum in his mouth, wipe his lips, and smile as he asks you, “is that better, liebling?”

(he’ll ignore your whines and acknowledgements of his arousal-stained trousers, insisting that he derives pleasure from your satedness)

masterlist <3

[brickcollector]

So when they go to a commercial break at the debate do they just stand in each corner staring at each other like a wrestling match

[pigswithwings]

no genuinely oceanblr would be so fun. the bloggers long for the sea and - oh shit what's t [is enveloped by the waves]

0 notes 🔁❤️

🦈 jaws-little-brother Follow

Community Pool: Is water wet?

yeah ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛ (67.3%)

no ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ (32.7%)

Remaining time: 4 moon cycles

🐡 on-line-off-hook Follow

what the kelp are you guys on.

185 notes 🔁❤️

🕳️ coelacanth-official ☑️☑️☑️☑️ Follow

decade 23 off the South African coast ... they ain't find me yet but when they do they're gonna be real surprised

40,739 notes 🔁❤️

🐌 justasnailfish Follow

its so quiet here .. nobody. no friends?

🔍 ms-magnap1nna Follow

We can be friends. come closer

7 notes 🔁❤️

🦐 shrimpathy-for-the-villain Follow

group of friends & i just won a battle against a whale, got a trophy (real)

🌑 ohboy-baleen-deactivated

No you didn't. No you did not. There's literally zero possible chance of this happening, regardless of how many other shrimp were with you because that is Logistically. Impossible. This is so fake oh my fucking cod

🦐 shrimpathy-for-the-villain Follow

ok. group of friends & i sitting inside a whales mouth, about to be krilled (real)

211 notes 🔁❤️

🐚 is0p0d-isle Follow

suuuuuper tired of all the negativity. can we have some appreciation for the "ugly" and "scary" fishes already? thank u blobfish, thank u viperfish, thank u goblin sharks, thank u everyone else who is socially isolated bc of how they look!! ur awesome!!

94 notes 🔁❤️

🐠 reeffraff Follow

human slang is so boring. what the hell is a "fridge". what's a "stove". oh, you have a "microwave"? i see 10 meter tall waves every day. loser.

🐬 atlantic-potion Follow

but they were right about "tubular", you can't deny it

🐠 reeffraff Follow

yes i absolutely can. "tubular"? are you kidding me? any fry on the sandbar could come up with that one. "tubular" is the word you would use to describe a coral and nothing else. it's lame. you have the linguistical taste of a tongue parasite.

🐬 atlantic-potion Follow

say that to my beak you coward

🐠 reeffraff Follow

maybe i WILL

🚹 surface-dweller ☑️☑️ Follow

holy shit, those fish are fighting! mary get the camera!

🐠 reeffraff Follow

GET THE WHAT?