#but also that would be logic tho

[miceinator]

if the failboat twitter community is failuretwt, is the failboat tumblr community called failureblr?

[racetrackmybeloved]

i would give anything to watch a full movie on how the entirety of brooklyn came to be "spot conlon's territory". half of the brooklyn newsies are practically grown ass men, and they answer to this scrawny blond fifteen year old??

like come on

[paimonial-rage]

cocky bastard vibes - zhongli

ship: zhongli x reader

synopsis: in which reader shares their free thoughts on the liyue statue of seven

notes: standalone snippet part of the bookkeeping!verse

It was a beautiful day in Liyue. The grass was a luscious green and the birds were singing a beautiful song. After a nice stay at the Emerald Maple Inn, you and Mr. Zhongli decided to have a cup of tea next to the Statue of the Seven before heading on your way to Qingce Village. You were to accompany him to pick up supplies for the next funeral rite, and with the way the morning was going, you knew nothing would ruin this peaceful day.

"So how much do you want to bet that Rex Lapis was hot and knew it?”

You ignored the choked sound that came from your side as you gazed up at the picturesque statue. Though your companion would probably consider your question quite out of the blue, you couldn’t say it was the first time you wondered such a thing. Whenever you passed by one of them in Liyue, the thought always plagued your mind for a few hours after. Judging by Mr. Zhongli’s reaction, though, it seemed he did not share your sentiments.

"Ehem… That… certainly is an interesting thought. I can’t say whether or not previous records touched on such a topic."

You hummed, gazing up at the statue. Really? That couldn’t be true. Why wouldn’t anyone talk about a statue looking like that?

“Well there are many reasons why I’d say I’m right. First off, his outfit. He has a hooded cloak on while also being shirtless. There’s absolutely no logical reason to dress like that unless they’re from the deserts of Sumeru, wouldn’t you say? It obviously was a conscious fashion decision. If you pair that with the seductive way he’s sitting, I’d be inclined to assume he’s quite clearly feeling his look.”

Silence came from your side. Hm, Mr. Zhongli still wasn’t convinced? Then you would go on.

“You do see it, right? His posture is relaxed, yet confident. Not to mention the way he’s looking at that cube in his hand with practically bedroom eyes. His knees are apart too. My friend from Sumeru told me that when a man sits like that, he’s displaying his dominance.”

Still silence.

"You can't sit in a seductive pose like that without on some level being aware you look good doing it. I mean look at him! He's shirtless and everything! I've heard even macho fishermen say that they pray to the statue for a good night before coming home to see their wives. You can’t blame them, right?"

A hesitant cough.

"I-I'm sure it was a younger time when those statues were sculpted."

You groaned.

"Maybe, but you’re not even looking! If you did, you’d agree with me that Rex Lapis is clearly exuding such massive 'cocky bastard' vibes!" You countered.

For some reason, the more you spoke, the more flustered he became.

"C'mon, Mr. Zhongli! Why are you so embarrassed? It's not like I'm slandering his good name! I mean, if Rex Lapis didn't want us talking about him like this, maybe he shouldn't have made a statue with abs clean enough to eat off of!"

Okay, maybe at this point, you were piling it on a bit thick. Could anyone blame you? His face was in his hand as if he had a headache, and were his ears tinged the slightest hint of red? It was an interesting sight. Never had you seen him look so completely flustered. Sure you were rather blunt, but you didn't think your words were that provocative. Mr. Zhongli really was practically a 65 year old man.

"I thought you respected the Geo Archon…" He muttered weakly.

You gasped in offense.

"I do! I’d even consider my words the utmost of pious behavior. In Mondstadt, the sisters of the church consider themselves married to Barbatos, the Anemo Archon. So finding the Geo Archon to be a sex god is pretty much the same thing, right?”

“No, it is not.”

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

*breathes deeply* new fic? new ongoing fic to read? holy moly there's so much to catch up on, that is a lot of reading. (not speaking about fic only. i mean also asks here, because they can be gold nuggets of fun things. and i have not checked for months for tiredness,, woe)

favourite things about new fic so far: zhongli going down rabbit holes of information of Things he Does Not Know because alternate reality and a most favourite shared disconnect from the rest of the world. very understandable. love to see that. also love to see how he's trying to act according to appropriate power levels and is still overpowered. ... actually, is it a full alternate reality or is it another time travel shenanigans (or both)? because. just because. i have a feeling i'm reading it too fast in haste so i may well be missing things that make that more or less obvious

my confusion of reading in haste too much aside, did i see something about being able to ask for outfit doodles? 👀 if no one else has yet i am here for it (as long as it is not a trouble)

absolutely no trouble, i just cleaned it up a bit and colored it in. here's the crew so far! god i can't believe i nailed guizhong's hair color and blue-white color scheme in cyanide LMAO literally colorpicked her haircolor from one of my drawings of her hahah

[bolithesenate]

ik she's not an oc but she should belong to you! 🖊 for komari??

you know what? you are so right 😌✊🏻

*yoinks all the character rights away from canon*

anyways, you know what I want for Komari? That she isn't technically a *good* Jedi, but that she is a terrifyingly *efficient* one.

Yoda's words were 'do or not do, there is no try', so I like to imagine Komari as a true force of nature because she does not doubt herself at any point. At least not truly.

She just does.

Does she do it because it makes her feel cool and admired? sure. but people around her (and she herself) have learned to direct that energy into a direction that more or less serves the greater good. The way I see Komari is that she truly likes being a Jedi and that she has found her niche amongst the Order to live her dream. She might not exactly do it for selfless reasons like many of her peers do, but that doesn't diminish the good she does.

it's also what makes her the ultimative hype-man.

she lives unapologetically and is her happiest self, so she encourages everyone around her to also do that. social anxiety and fomo? she's never known them.

Also, out of her entire lineage, Komari is the one most firmly rooted in the Cosmic Force. Dooku himself leans heavily towards it too, but he's also got a strong Unifying influence in his life through Sifo-Dyas, so it's a bit muddled.

Komari tho is, in fact, *such* a Cosmic Force baby that she often doesnt realize it is working through her. She just does Her Thing TM because It Feels Good TM not really questioning *why* it does that.

It's a very simple mindset, technically, but also very effective

[starbuck]

we talk a lot about “escaping the narrative,” but keep in mind that the frightening thing about escape is the chance you might end up someplace worse.

[jeanmoreaue]

I agree!! *an incoherent rant incoming* Jean imo def moved on from Kevin (in a romantic way; i think he’s not moved on from the whole ‘Kevin left me’ thing ofc but I think he obviously knows and accepts that he and Kevin won’t ever happen lol). And that scene with Renee was obviously a closure/farewell and they’ve moved on to being friends now (also imo while i like their dynamic i feel like they’d never work bc of the whole victim saviour complex, that’d be really uncomfortable and hard to overcome). Jeremy seems like he’s able to handle Jean’s crazy baggage without placating him too much or pushing him too hard. He definitely needs to work on his own shit first (i feel like the way he went all in on helping Jean is kind of giving ‘I am avoiding my problems by getting too involved in others’ problems’) but I think Jean will be the perfect person to help him with that! As you said he’s super perceptive and honestly very empathetic even if he doesn’t show it in the most obvious way. Jeremy would probably really appreciate Jean’s brutally honest approach lol. They’re lowkey perfect for each other ☹️ TSC2 can’t come soon enough

hardcore agree on every single point you made!! i feel exactly the same about Jean and Renee, as much as their dynamic is sweet, i think it would be really difficult to overcome Jean feeling indebted to her (whereas Jean and Jeremy are both growing together) + ya i think Jean has very complicated feelings toward Kevin but i don’t think he’s actively yearning over Kevin anymore

and exactlyy i definitely imagine Jean quietly picking up on whatever Jeremy’s going through and expressing concern only for Jeremy to try and pull a “my problems aren’t that bad and therefore don’t matter” which i don’t see Jean accepting. especially since Jean has an ‘older brother who cares more about other people’s well-being more than his own well-being’ vibe (underneath his slightly prickly attitude lol) i think Jeremy and Jean are really good for each other, Kevin subconsciously knew what he was doing by having Jean transfer to USC 🤨

[jrueships]

is that a book?

[yells-of-the-not-so-danged]

So you know how Loki went and lived as a milkmaid for a couple years and had a bunch of kids? Who do you think would be funniest to find out they have Loki for an ancestor?

[neptunesailing]

mayoi (enstars x hnk au)

[oifaaa]

So a genuine question. I'm somewhat new to DC comics (was on the edge looking into the fandom for most of my life but only recently started reading the comics) and I thought the "Tim stalked Batman and Robin with a camera" was a canon thing? I can't remember the first time I saw it, but I feel like it was mid 2010s, so earlier then what I thought was the start of the Tim Angst Era of fanfic. Like I know I've seen fanart of it from people who said they don't really read fanfiction, so I assumed it was a canon thing. Do you have any idea what might have started it? In my experience fanon stuff starts with a grain of truth somewhere, even if by the end it's lost that grain.

Yes I do it actually did start in canon basically Tim does take pictures of Batman but its after jason dies since it's bc batman is killing himself and he needs evidence to prove to Dick that Bruce is killing himself so that dick will want to become robin again (it doesn't work but he tried) and he does stalk dick and the titans a bit since after the titans come back from space dick decides to leave them for a wee while so tim has to stalk them to figure out where dick is

[sarellathesphinx]

Constantly torn between genuinely loving the remake timeline’s depiction of Reeve and Cait and being immensely sad that pretty much all of my favorite lines of theirs from the original were totally excised or bc of plot developments will never be said

[figofswords]

anybody remember the stephanie brown essay I was working on under a research grant fully last summer? yeah it’s not done yet it super needs to be done and I’ve been avoiding working on it for weeks. someone tell me to just do it already

[chayannesegg]

i want to defend blue team's strat bc i feel like people are (validly) annoyed by how hard to counter it was (i really think tubbo would have claimed them even if etoiles and roier hadn't glitched bc he was so well positioned [tho we'll never know weep 😭]) but if you're annoyed, congrats! that's how blue team's felt the past 2 days lol while ~technically~ they could counter by defending spawn like etoiles and roier tried to they a) don't have that many players online at that time naturally (etoiles and tubbo having to be on a 4-5am is not healthy even if possible) and b) it's VERY easy—even without doing tubbo's log strat—to have one person run in spawn and claim them all in <2 secs in the last 10 minutes and have the countdown make it impossible to counterclaim. like REALLY easy. and if they've already claimed the contracts, there is literally nothing they can do but watch the other team win which is VERY frustrating. so it's purposefully irritating/dirty strategy that protests the late login being so op. i'm pretty sure tubbo complained on day 2 that the game rewards waiting until the last 15 minutes to claim rewards unless they balanced it better. blue then lost to the same balancing issue two days in a row. and only tomorrow, on day 5 is it getting fixed. that's the slowest any balancing issue has been implemented so far!! (the % changes daily to fit the gameplay, they gave more detail on the points breakdown the day after blue asked, they added the spawn safe zone today WHILE bad was spawnkilling) blue team simply took the late login strat to its logical extreme, and i think that it really highlights why the game is changing to avoid this outcome!! but blue suffered for like 3 days from this unfairness so i, personally, think it's well-deserved for them to use it to their advantage on the last day it's possible!!

[antennatoheaven]

my favourite thing about portal 2 fanworks is that wheatley is always there for some unexplained reason. like yeah he got back from space it's chill now

[solace-seekers]

screaming into the void <3