#but also literally when it gets too bad i know i just need to call someone i love take a walk and drink water
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Inevitable Things : chapter twelve
aizawa x reader fic
cw: aizawa x reader, cisfem reader, office AU, no quirks, fingering
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Sticky and wet. Your pants are sticky and wet.Â
Pulling your panties up while still damp was a big mistake, you think as you walk back through the restaurant. The water you spilled in the restroom is all down your ass and is quickly cooling to an uncomfortable temperature, not to mention the absolute mess of cum and spit that's currently in the gusset of your panties-
And yet none of it manages to ruin your mood.Â
Really, you should feel bad. Guilty, at the very least. You should be feeling bad about doing this to Touya, doing this in a public fucking space--
But, you donât. Not in the slightest. No, you feel good. Better than you have in a very long time. Thereâs a levity in your step that you don't think you've ever had. It takes effort to tamp down your smile as you slide back into the table, adjusting your hair just in case. Your whole body is buzzing with post orgasm bliss, but you can't let Hizashi know that.Â
âOh my god, there you are!â Hizashi slams his hands down and groans. âI thought you got lost!â
You never even got to pee. Thatâs a bit of a bummer, but you think itâs a worthy sacrifice. Fuck, youâll never pee again if that's the alternative.
âThere was a line,â you dismiss. God, you need to cum more often. This is great. Maybe you can masturbate tonight when you get back to the hotel room-
A tingle thrills up your spine as you remember the fact that you won't be alone tonight. No, Aizawa is coming back with you, putting that talented fucking mouth of his to good use. You should have tried this years ago; it certainly would have made work more tolerable. It would have made Aizawa more tolerable too.
 Fuck, you wish you could tell Hizashi that he was right; having fun is great. You had almost forgotten that being in love could be fun.Â
Not that you're in love. That would be criminally insane. You're just high off of post orgasmic bliss.Â
âWhere did Aizawa go?â you ask, casually. Hizashi quirks a brow as he takes a sip of his drink.Â
âTaking a call. Manufacturing had an issue, apparently.âÂ
âAgain?âÂ
Manufacturing is always having an issue; it comes with the territory for biomedical companies. Production of the products is actually outsourced, including the computer chips needed for the bed. Most of the time, issues can be dealt with internally, but there are also times that it has to be elevated all the way to engineering. Itâs a good lie, in theory, but Aizawa is going to have to explain why they are contacting a lead engineer and not someone lower on the food chain.
âUm,â you shift in your seat. The excitement inside you needs to come out or else you might explode. âI got a text from the guy from last night.âÂ
âShut up-- thatâs why you were gone so long, huh? Sexting in the bathroom?â
Oh, heâd die if he knew the truth. Absolutely die.
âWe werenât sexting.â Not a lie! âBut, I think I'm going to invite him over to my room tonight.â
Hizashi tilts his head down so he can look at you from over his glasses. It's a very Nemuri move, complete with her little smirk.Â
âAre you gonna just make out again, orâŠ?â
You tap your heels against the floor.
âNo,â you hum, as innocently as possible.Â
âNo?â
âNo, I--â Oh, you have to literally bite your tongue to kill your smile. It's like being sixteen again, giddy and giggly over nothing-Â âI think I wanna do more.â
With a mouth like that, you might just let Aizawa do whatever he wants. Hell, you had asked to go slow, but now that you've had a taste, you don't know if you can keep the brakes on. You had forgotten how good it feels to be wanted, to be craved, to be touched⊠and Shouta seems determined to give you everything you need.Â
 Hizashi physically reacts by grabbing the table and shaking it with a slack jawed amazement.
âYes! Yes!â You have to grab your drink and Aizawa to stop them from spilling, but you're laughing all the while. âGood for you!â
âHizashi, the waters!â
âWho is this guy?â Hizashi asks. âIs he cute? Is he nice?â
Is Aizawa cute? Not really. He's more⊠handsome than cute. Hardened, but soft. And he's certainly not nice. In fact, youâd label him as very not nice. Mean, even. Though, he did get you that sandwich this morning, which was really sweet. And he has those cats, which makes him a little softer than you first imagined-
âHe's okay, I guess,â you settle on.Â
Hizashi nods, a bit too solemn. It sets you on edge, the way he clams up as he watches you, eyeing up and down over and over. You can practically see the gears turning in his brain as he thinks.
âShut up.â He leans in on his elbows, sternly. âIt's Shouta, isn't it?â
Don't panic. You're pinned down, like a bug under glass, but you can't panic. Luckily, your brain is still stupidly swimming, so you're able to fight your institution and just stare back at him with what you hope is a bewildered glare.
âWhat.â
The man leans back and scoffs, then scoffs again, louder. His hand lies over his heart as if you've slapped him, indignant. The restaurant suddenly isnât loud enough; you need the music to be turned up or for the crowd to get thicker to hide whatâs about to come out of this manâs mouth.
âOh my god, it's totally him! Youâre totally boning!âÂ
Fuck. Double fuck.Â
âI mean, you both just disappeared at the same time-â Hizashi jolts up mid sentence. âDid you guys just fuck in the bathroom?! Oh my god, good for you! Is he good? Heâs gotta be good-â
Oh, shit. Oh, damn. The room might be closing in on you actually. It's time to do what you do worst: lie. You push away from the table with a snort, lip curled up the way Aizawa's does.
âThat's disgusting , Hizashi.â Oh, thereâa vitriol in that. You almost smile out of pride, but you keep your cool. You have to-- you can't ruin this thing between you before it's even really started. âIn a bathroom? With him? I'd rather die.âÂ
Your charade doesnât seem to affect him.
âOh, come on-â he laughs. âYou're telling me you two don't have something going on? You both just magically found other people last night?â
âI wouldn't sleep with him if he was the last man on earth,â you insist. âAizawa is awful! Awful! Why would I ever-?â
A figure looms over you. âWhat did I walk into?â
Triple fuck. From someone who stomps most of the time, Aizawa certainly has a quiet step today. You swivel around, trying to flash a panicked look. Somehow, Aizawa seems to understand. His brow flickers up for a brief second, then returns to the usual unimpressed spot. Should you be worried that the two of you have figured out lying this easily? Usually, Touya just lies to you, not with you.
âHizashi thinks we're sleeping together.â You wave a hand dismissively. You hope that no one else notices that Aizawaâs face is noticeably damp-- freshly washed.
âUgh.â He rolls his head back as if heâs been slapped, sliding into the seat beside Hizashi. His foot bumps against you and you question if itâs on purpose. Is.. was that his good leg? Or the bad one? Maybe heâs kicking you accidentally. âHer? What's wrong with you?â
Oh, ouch. That. Huh.
Logically, you know itâs just part of the lie youâve started, but it still somehow stings. Rejection, even fake rejection, makes you ache. It falls too close to home, too close to Touya. (Not that youâre thinking about Touya tonight. No-- youâre allowing yourself to have fun. Youâre forgetting him the same way heâs probably forgotten about you--)
 Swallowing down your pride, you adjust yourself in your seat, pulling on your still soaked pants-
âYou aren't a prize either.â Again, your own bite surprises you. âI've been dealing with your shitty attitude for years and-â
âMy shitty attitude? You're the one who stomps around when your boyfriend gets fired.â
Your jaw falls slack. Okay, you should be offended, but⊠thereâs an edge of something attractive in the way his dark eyes narrow. The grit to his voice reminds you of moments ago, how he talks to you when youâre alone-
âThatâs rich.â Youâre watching his face. Oh, that sting? Itâs changed. Now, thereâs a simmering want inside you, begging to be fed. You need him mad, need him angry, need him riled up- âWhereâs your girlfriend?â
Thereâs a freeze. Both men have mirrored expressions of surprise. Aizawa blinks, then tightens his expression. âExcuse me?â
âOh, thatâs right.â You lift your glass and pretend to inspect the liquid inside. âYouâve been single since Iâve met you.â
Stunned, Hizashi opens his mouth to say something, but Aizawa beats him to the punch. He bends over the table with a glowering expression, those dark eyes boring into you. It reminds you of the fights you two had in office, but now that expression thrills you instead of terrifies.
âOh, fuck you,â he seethes. âSorry that Iâm not whoring myself over the office with the interns.â
Oh, you kind of want to suck his cock right now. Obviously, youâve always had a thing for red flags, but this is kind of ridiculous. He must have done something fucking magical or satanic to you pussy to make you act like this. Are you acting insane? You might be acting insane.
âExcuse me?â you ask through your teeth.
Oh, heâs riled up now, his eyes narrowed into slits. â I saw those bruises you sucked into Kaminari.â
That steals a genuine laugh from you. Is that a genuine concern for him? You certainly hope not; Denki is⊠well, heâs Denki. Heâs a sweet guy in his own regard, but you wouldnât touch him with a ten foot pole. Heâs young and, clearly, you prefer older guys.
(Huh. Thatâs a new revelation for you. Touya is your age, but⊠Thereâs something unbelievably sexy about the grey at Aizawaâs temple, the wrinkles next to his eyes-)
âYou think Iâm fucking that kid? Fuck you.â
âFuck you.â
Oh, you hope he does. You hope he absolutely ruins you.Â
âFuck-â
âOkay, okay,â Hizashi interrupts you, arms spread as if keeping you both from leaping over the table. âYou people! What happened to the truce?â
âYou happened!âÂ
Somehow the rest of dinner goes well. Hizashi makes sure the conversation steers towards work and his plans for the night. You do have to give the wait staff an extra big tip-- Hizashi may have said âbutt plugâ a bit too loudly for the poor guyâs comfort. Â
Occasionally, Shouta looks your way. He ponders a bit too long on your features, has a bit too much of a smile on his face. His leg bumps against your again, a silent reminder that heâs there. Honestly, thank god that Hizashi was convinced by your lies, because this man is being obvious.
And frankly, youâre living for it.Â
Youâre still vibrating with excitement by the time you all leave together. Heâs coming back to your room tonight, coming back for more. You might be getting addicted to this feeling, addicted to being wanted, to cumming on someoneâs tongue-
Maybe you should throw caution to the wind and fuck him.
Oh, that thought sends a chill up your spine. Itâs been so long since youâve been filled. Sex always came with anxiety before, but now, you might be excited. Especially when Aizawaâs cock seems so fucking thick-
âYou all ready for tomorrow?â Hizashiâs voice shocks you out of your thoughts. God, youâre worse than him! One orgasm and youâve devolved into a needy pervert.Â
Aizawa groans, pressing his thumbs into his temples. The hotel lobby buzzes with life as you all enter. The tiles seems to get more dazzling at night, blue illuminated by the dangling chandeliers and air of excitement.Â
 âNo. Itâs going to be a long night.â
Hizashi elbows his friendâs side. âNo mysterious girl for you tonight, huh? Too busy studying?â
Aizawa is starkly quiet for a long moment, mouth screwed tight as if the question upset him. You almost worry that heâs considering it-- that heâs going to go back to his room without you, and dread sets into your bones. The need has already built back up inside you, anticipation tingling all the way to your fingers. Itâs a little alarming, how quickly youâve gotten addicted to the idea of fucking him, to cumming with him-
Aizawa shrugs away your worries. âIâll find time.â
Internally, you cheer.
âAw, you dog. Now- Do I need to supervise you two?â Hizashi teases as he turns on his heel, walking backwards into the hall. âEscort you to your rooms so you donât murder each other in the elevator?â
âI think weâll manage,â you say as you press the button. Hizashi leaves and the two of you are left in silence.
The elevator door rumbles closed behind you two after you both set in. Aizawa shifts back against the wall with a sigh, barely audible over the gentle muzak. He looks tired, but in a different way than usual: a gentle, content exhaustion, one that wears well on his features, but doesnât deepen the creases on his brow. It suits him much more than the usual, miserable look he has.Â
âI should stop by my room before-â Aizawa starts.
You press off of the wall and close the distance between you. It doesn't matter what he was going to say, because you weren't going to listen anyway. Instead, you press yourself up on to your toes and catch his lips mid sentence, moving fast and sure enough that you catch him completely off guard. You can feel his surprise in his inward gasp as you force him back against the cold steel wall. There's a moment of hesitation -shock, you realize gleefully- before he caves into you, hands on your waist dragging you in until your hips press against his.Â
The quiet gives you space to enjoy the tiny moments he gives you: the hitch in his breath when you hold him tighter, the rumble in his chest when your teeth close around his lower lip, the sound of fabric against fabric as his hands drift lower and his hands grip your ass-Â
âYou really piss me off,â he mumbles into you. âYou get off on lying, donât you?â
Only with him, you think. Only with you. The door dings open and you loosen your grip, but Aizawa holds firm, holds tight.Â
âAizawa,â you mumble into his lips, but he just keeps going. âAi-â
Another peck shuts you up for a moment.Â
âShouta!â
Finally, he reacts and lets you go, his touch trailing on you for just a moment longer. You have to jut out an arm to stop the door from closing again.
âListen-â he exhales. âI am going to my room. Iâm going to shower, brush my teeth, then come to you. Okay?â
More than okay. Perfect. Excellent. Ideal.Â
âOkay.â You try to play it cool, but his nose wrinkles in delight at the tremble in your voice. âIâll be waiting.â
 Stepping out of the elevator, you glance behind one last time. It feels like you should say something, give him a goodbye, but instead you just watch the doors close in silence. His eyes never leave you, staring with a silent, hungering desire.
You might have to fuck him.Â
Back in your room, you do the same as him. You brush your teeth, rinse the day off of your body, and contemplate yourself in the fogged reflection of the mirror. The buzzing in your skin is either anxiety or excitement, maybe a bit of both, but you canât stop riding the high that comes with them. Being wanted feels good, too good, impossibly good- so good that youâre afraid itâs about to be taken away.
Logically, it will be. This⊠thing must have a terminating point somewhere. Thereâs no possible way that the two of you continue this into the workplace, is there? Everything ends at some point, everyone leaves eventually-
No. Focus. Have fun. Focus on having fun.
You didnât pack any perfume, so you hope the hotel body wash smells alluring enough. Your hair still looks okay enough that you donât need to bother styling it- but you still try to, just a bit. Itâs normal to want to look nice, to smell soft, to be soft, but thereâs also an embarrassment to wanting to be pretty. You hadnât felt it before, but now, youâre suddenly concerned about the curves of your body and how it sits differently than you want. Heâs seen most of you before, and yet youâre now caught up in the imperfections. Which underwear did you pack again? Nothing sexy, thatâs for sure. Only skin tone bras too. Fuck-- you donât actually know if you own anything enticing.Â
Do you even own anything sexy?
What clothes should you even wear for him anyway? Iâd be strange to put your clothes back on, right? What about pajamas? What will he be wearing? Hopefully not that fucking yellow sweatshirt he works in. You find yourself pacing around the room in only your towel, tidying up and trying to decide what the best option is. Maybe just a shirt? Like Winnie the Pooh?
No, thatâs stupid. Ugh, you wish you were someone like Nemuri, someone bold and sexy and confident--
What would Nemuri do?
The dreaded knock at the door stocks you from your worry. You make a quick decision; turning out all of the lights, you tiptoe to the front door and peer out the peephole. Yes, itâs him, dressed in a simple white shirt, dark hair freshly washed. His expression is unreadable, as usual, but perhaps on the brink of anxious.Â
Why would he be nervous? The thought makes you giggle. Maybe, just maybe, heâs just as jittery as you are over this-
But you doubt it.
Before you lose your nerve, you open the door, still in your towel. Aizawaâs eyes widen just a bit, then narrow with a keen excitement.
âAm I too early?â he teases.
âNo,â you reply, âJust in time.â
And you let your towel drop.
A beat passes before he reacts. Aizawaâs jaw literally drops. Before you can revel in the satisfaction, heâs crowding you again, hands ghosting over your body as if he canât decide where to touch first. His shirt is rough against your bare skin and youâre suddenly very aware of how your nipples have pearled up. The hotelâs air conditioning is rolling, much colder than youâd ever make your home, and your skin is goosepimpling under it, but youâre still so hot, so warm-
âOh god,â he whispers, breathy, barely sane. âLook at you.â
The first kiss is wild, breath stealing, rough- it forces you back a step, just far enough that the door slams closed and leaves you in the dark. His touch has settled on your chest, cupping your tits up between his fingers in a boyish way, one that's so much less precise than his usual way of loving you.Â
âGod-â he says again. âGod-â
Suddenly, his lips are gone and you can feel him hunched over you, breath hot against your tits. The gentle tug of teeth scares a gasp out of you, then floods your body with heat.
âI want to see you,â Aizawa's mouth closes around your nipple for a second, his spit cooling almost instantly. âI want to touch you-âÂ
His hand wraps around your thigh and squeezes. Your body burns hot, your core tight, cunt wet- Hotel darkness, with the curtains drawn, feels deeper than home. Only the red numbers of the clock illuminate the nightstand. You can't see how he moves, how he looks, but you can feel it--
And you want to feel more, more, more, as much as he'll give you.
âTouch me,â you beg. âPlease.â
He drops to his knees with a quick, labored exhale. Fuck- his leg. Heâs already kissing the lower round of your stomach, trailing down to the curve of your mons, taking his sweet, sweet time.Â
âAizawa-â Your hands run through his hair and gently urge him back, but he just presses on, pulling your knee over his shoulder- âYour leg-â
He's not listening. He's too busy nudging your legs apart, bumping his shoulder into your knee until it gives to him. For the second time that night, Aizawa puts his mouth on you. This time, he inhales, embarrassingly deep.Â
âAh-â the sound escapes you involuntarily. âDon't-- don't smell me.âÂ
The hot press of tongue ignites something inside you, something innate. Your hips buck on their own, the ridge of his nose bumping against your still swollen clit. After earlier, your pussy is still puffy and well loved, and the pressure sends your spine straight.Â
âI should have shaved-â you babble. His arm has looped around your supporting leg. âI'm sorry, I should have-â
In the dark, every touch feels more. More powerful, more potent, more smoldering: his hand is drifting up, under your ass and in, in, in-
When his fingers join his tongue, spreading your cunt open wider from behind.
âGod-â Your brain is soup, stewing in its own electric pleasure. You can feel the chill of his inhales again and it's all you can do to whine, to push away his forehead- âGod, don't smell me-â
âShut the fuck up.â He rips his mouth away from you and you can feel his eyes staring up in the dark. âJust-- shut up and take it.â
Your jaw clamps shut. Aizawaâs back on you, huffing and sucking greedily. Every muscle in your body is perking and clenching, your knee wobbling. His hand digs into your ass, dragging you so firmly against him that his nose bridge digs into your skin. The way he kisses at you is overwhelming; it feels like heâs pulling pleasure out of you, dragging it out hand over hand like it's attached to a string-
You want to cry or plead or curse or something. but Aizawaâs stolen your words from you, so all you can do is silently whine.Â
It's too much, it's not enough, it's-
His free hand is suddenly on your cunt, a finger pressing up and into you. The sensation shocks a gasp out of you. It's not a lot, but it's been so long since anything been inside you; the sensation only worsens your needs, tightens the want-
A second finger slides in. There's a stretch and you suddenly feel drunk, like the room has tilted on its axis.Â
You're going to fuck this man. You have to fuck this man. You might go insane if you don't get that cock inside you.
When you cum, it flushes every inch of your skin with a lumbering heat, like he's raking you over coals. It's ugly and brutal, it almost brings you to your knees, but Shouta holds you steady. He doesn't miss a beat, still lapping at your folds like he needs you to live. Â
It's horrendous. It's torturous. The air punches out of your body as he strokes your already overworked clit. Tension bunches in every muscle, pulling you over him, hunched and panting. Your fingers claw at his scalp, tug his hair, but Shouta doesn't stop.
âI came-â you protest, voice climbing higher than ever. âI came, I came-- aa--â
He pulls away to speak.
âI know.â His fingers curl and press into you again, right against a deep spot. âDo it again.â
And he's on you again.This time, heâs more forward, aggressive with how he licks and suckles. It's no longer hungry-- it's mean. It doesn't coax pleasure from you, it forces. Â
âI can't,â you whine. Every flick of tongue shocks more pleasure from you, burning through your cunt deep into your gut. You're boneless, you're stiff, you're wobbling-
 âI can't, I can't-â
Aizawa rests his cheek against your thigh, his fingers working harder and harder. Itâs much more intense in the dark, where the only thing you can focus on is the feeling and the sound of his fingers squelching into you.
âYou can-â He insists into your skin. He kisses the crease of your leg. âLet go.â
âI can't-â
Oh, a pressure is building inside you, one that's rolling and rabid. You think you might literally be drooling, but you can't tell anymore; all you can think about is his fingers drilling into your pussy, urging faster-
âI can't.âÂ
He's not telling you to shut up anymore. He just says, firmly: âYou can.â
And you do.Â
It's a lift, that moment where gravity forgets you when the roller coaster crests the hill. There's nothing, blissful nothing, a weightless second where you can finally pull in a full breath. Maybe this is it, maybe youâll never fall-
Then, it crashes.Â
You think you might have gone blind for a moment. Stars flicker over your vision and your brain just can't keep up. Earlier, he compared it to a computer resetting and you suddenly understand exactly what he meant like that: your body slumps over as if he's pulled your batteries out. Aizawa has to pull his hands from you and brace to stop the both of you from tumbling over.Â
âHey now,â he grunts. âDo not fall.â
âShut--shut up,â you manage to say, still all twitches and kicks. Thereâs⊠youâre.. Thereâs a lot going on right now and you canât pull your brain together enough to process any of it. For a blissfully long time, you just are: no thoughts, no doubts, no worries.Â
When you finally catch yourself, Aizawaâs still down on his knees, patting your flank in silent support.
âAre you alright?â His cheeks are dreadfully wet with you, caught in his stubbleÂ
âNo,â you whine. âI think I died.â
He pats the side of your thigh again. âYou're fine. Help me up.â
Oh, shit. His leg. You pull yourself together enough to stand on your own. Your thighs rub together with their own wet and youâre horrified at the amount of it all. Itâs down to your fucking knees. God, you didnât even think you could do that. Blindly, you reach into the dark and take Aizawaâs hand, hoisting him off of the floor.
âAre you okay?â you ask.
âPeachy. Iâm just old.â He pulls on your hand and brings you closer. When his lips find yours, your own taste shocks a gasp out of you. His face is as wet as your legs, stubble gritting against your chin. Itâs surprisingly gentle and affectionate, as if he didnât just change your fucking life with his tongue.
âI should get you a towel or something,â you say as you pull away.
Aizawa snorts, his grip on you only tightening. You try to imagine the look on his face. Maybe heâs licking the ridge of his teeth, maybe heâs glowering. Maybe heâs smiling, looking down at you with that almost loving affection. âYou donât think weâre done, do you?âÂ
Uh oh.
Uh oh.
In the dark, he pushes you backward, both of you blindly bumping into walls and the edge of the tv stand. Each bump and bruise steal a giggle out of you and him, but the laughter does nothing to diffuse the want you feel emanating from his touch. Eventually, the back of your legs hits the soft down of the bed and you pause, trying to hold him a bit farther away and failing. You had forgotten that heâs still fully dressed; his belt buckle is frigid against your skin.
âShouta, my legs are shaking.â Your hands find the bottom of his shirt, fumbling with the edge. Maybe you can distract him, give yourself time to recover. âI canât take anymore.â
Shouta is mirroring your motions, running his fingers across the soft of your stomach. The touch makes you feel shy and you wiggle away from the touch. Technically, heâs seen you completely naked, but touching feels like a deeper sense of knowledge, especially in the dark.Â
âTwo orgasms?â He squeezes your side again. âThatâs really all it takes?âÂ
âThreeâŠâ you remind.
âTwo.â Heâs firm. âThe second one doesnât count.â
The air conditioning rushes back on and you nearly shiver. The heat of your orgasm still warms your cheeks, but youâre still naked, still exposed. âWhy not?â
âWasnât big enough.â
âFelt big.â
He clicks his tongue against his teeth. âYou poor, neglected thing.âÂ
Hands find your shoulders and push, knocking you back on to the mattress with an âoofâ. The bed shifts under his weight and you can feel him there, hovering over you in the dark, just a breath away. All you can do is lay there and try to make out the shapes of him. The red glow of the alarm clock catches his eye and you suddenly know heâs watching you, probably searching for your way in the same way.
âWhat-?â you breathe. âWhat are you gonna do with me?â
You donât know what you want the answer to be, but you arenât expecting a chuckle.Â
âIâm going to do-â Shouta breathes, deep and dark and hungry, closer to a growl than a whisper. âWhatever I want.â
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First kiss interrupted - Wind Breaker boys
Togame, Umemiya, Suo, Kiryu x fem reader
Author notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY UMEMIYAđ©”đ©”đ©” spoilers for Umemiyaâs background in his and donât worry you and the characters will kiss at the end so you arenât left hanging!
Togame:
You hear an obnoxiously loud knock at your door and it can only be one person. Your next door neighbor and your childhood friend, Choji. Youâre glad that your grandma is always out when he decides to come and âknockâ on your door, she would think someone is trying to break in. You laugh at the thought and swing your legs off your bed to go answer the door. You weave through your house and open the door to see Choji raising his hand like he was going to knock again and Togame holding his arm back. âChoji, you seriously need to wait more than 10 seconds. You could have hit her.â Togame says as he releases Chojiâs arm.
Choji laughs and turns his whole attention to you, âWell I didnât so itâs all good! Anyways come hang out with us and Shishitoren! We are hosting a party at Ori and thought you would want to come.â Togame is quick to add in, âDonât feel like you have to, no pressure.â You look to make eye contact with him and he gives you a little smile. You feel your knees almost give out, his smile is something really rare so your heart races anytime you see it.
You debate on what you want to do. Yes you would get to hang out all night with your crush, but you would have to deal with all of Shishitoren and some of them can be a lot especially at these parties. You havenât seen Choji and especially Togame since the whole restoration of Shishitoren so you think itâs worth it. You look at Togame and reply, âIâll go. I havenât seen you guys in a while and I bet the party will be fun. Come inside and let me change. Oh I also have to leave a note for my grandma, sheâs at the senior game night with her friends.â
Choji starts jumping up and down while Togame pushes him inside and shuts the door, âYAY! But seriously itâs sad that your grandma gets out more than you.â Togame smacks the back of his head, âLeave her alone. Not everyone has the energy to run around the city 24/7 like you.â
You are walking to your room but you laugh at their argument and call out to them, âSee Togame gets me. Keeping up with you is hard, I donât know how he does it.â You get in your room and close your door but can still heari Choji and Togame bicker. You want to impress Togame tonight because you think tonight is the night you are actually going to try and confess to him. You look around your closet and decide to pick out a black skirt and white sweater with a little bear drinking boba. You are happy that your grandma dragged out of the house earlier to go grocery shopping because you put on some makeup before the two of you left, so now you donât have to keep the guys waiting too long. You tie up a pair of converse then spray some perfume on and walk out of your room.
You just see Togame standing in the living room, âOh no, where is Choji? He didnât break anything right?â. Togame is quick to face you and quick to turn your bad thought down, âNO! No, he just went to the bathroom.â He looks you up and down and you feel your cheeks start to burn, âYou look really pretty.â Togame makes eye contact with you again and gives you another smile. That smile can quite literally kill you but you smile back at him and thank him. He just nods his head and watches the tornado known as Choji come back into the room. You quickly write a note to your grandma saying you are hanging out with Togame and Choji and will be back later tonight. Then the three of you head off.
The entire walk to Ori was you and Togame listening and sometimes adding to Chojiâs endless rambling. Choji is really passionate about telling you every detail to the new video game he got that you arenât paying attention to your surroundings. You hear someone call out âMOVEâ but you before you can even try to move you feel someone pull you into him and hold you close. You are facing a firm chest and you can recognize that cologne from anywhere. Itâs Togame. You then pick up your head to see the biker blow by the three of you really fast. Choji starts yelling at the guy to bike somewhere else while Togame catches your attention, âYou okay?â
You turn back to look and him and nod, âYeah I am. Thank you Togame, if you didnât do that I would have been road kill.â Togameâs grip tightens on you and gives you a sharp look, âI would never let that happen to you.â You go to respond but Choji cuts you off saying hurry up. Togame rolls his eyes and lets go off you but still stays super close to you the rest of the walk to Ori.
Before you even walk into the abandoned theatre you can hear just how loud the party is, it is going to be a long night if thatâs how loud it is going to be. Togame is quick to sense your discomfort towards the noise, âHey, just stay by me alright?â You look to him then nod. He grabs your hand and leads you inside to a quieter part of the theatre. You and Togame stand by a table and catch up. He tells you all about the restoration of Shishitoren and why he cut his hair. Before he gets to the next story you are quick to compliment him, âYou look really handsome with short hair.â Togame gives you a blank stare and you start to ramble, âWAIT! I am not saying you looked bad with long hair. You looked handsome with long hair too, I even loved when you would let me play with it. I just feel short hair fits you a lot more.â
Togame lets out a deep laugh on that makes him nearly fold in half, âI knew what you meant, that ramble was cute. But thank you.â You look away and nod. Togame excuses himself really quick to get you two some snacks and drinks. You see Sako a little further away and give him a wave, he returns it and walks over to you. You two chat until Togame comes back, the two guys say hello and Sako goes back to the group he was standing with. Togame brought back some sweet treats and ramune. You two eat and chat more until you hear Chojiâs loud voice get even louder if thatâs possible.
Togame mumbles a little âDamn itâ under his breath. Before you can ask whats wrong Chojiâs voice cuts through the crowd again. âHEY EVERYONE! WE FIGURED OUT THE MIC AND SPEAKER SYSTEM. SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS⊠KARAOKE TIME!!â You physically shiver at the thought of the guys âsingingâ super loud into the mic. It is already so loud now and itâs only going to get worse. As if Togame can read your mind he calls your name, âLetâs go outside and take a break okay?â Once you agree, Togame grabs your hand and leads you outside.
âWanna go on the roof?â You look up there and think about how Togame and Choji always talk about how pretty the view from the roof is but donât know if you can exactly get up there yourself. You respond, âI would love to, but I donât think I can climb up there myself. Togame is quick to turn away any doubt, âDonât worry Iâll help you. I can either lift you up or climb up first and help you up. The choice is yours.â
âHow about you go up first? Thatâll probably help my nerves.â Togame nods and climbs to the first level, he turns to crouch down and holds a hands out to you. You reach for his hands and he reminds you to hold on tight. He is quick to pull you up but you still need to walk a little bit on the wall to help you get up. Once you are both on the first level he makes sure you are okay before he climbs to the last level. Togame reaches his hands down again, âReally hold on tight to me here and be careful climbing up the wall is more messed up here.â
You take a deep breath and respond with a nervous âokayâ. Togame catches your attention again, âI will not drop you. I promise.â He really always knows what to say to help you calm down. You look up and smile, âI never believed you would.â He returns the smile but it is quick to go away because he starts pulling you up. You pay really close attention to the bad spots on the wall and avoid them. Once youâre to the ledge Togame steps back and pulls you into his chest once again.
You two stand like that for a little bit until he lets go and grabs your hand again to lead you to the back where the railings are. Once you see the view you let go of Togameâs hand and run to the railing. The view of the city and the night sky is so pretty. You see people laughing outside the restaurants and the stars gleaming in the dark night sky. It really is the best of two worlds. âTogame this view is absolutely beautiful no wonder why you and Choji talk about it all the time.â
Togame stands next to you and leans his forearms on the railing, âYeah I love it. I am glad you finally get to see it.â You close your eyes and take a deep breath and taking everything in. You think this is the perfect time to confess since you and him are alone. You open your eyes and look ahead, âHey, JoâŠ?â
âMhm? Something wrong?â You shake your head and close your eyes again, âNot necessarily. I- uh, well there is something I want to tell you.â You take another deep breath and open your eyes once more and turn to look at Togame, he is looking at you with the utmost patience. He is letting you take your time and not rushing you at all. The man is truly an angel. âI am sorry in advance if this ruins everything. I like you Jo. I have for such a long time, really ever since Choji introduced me to you. You make me feel so happy, safe, comfortable, beautiful, and I just have so much fun around you. The times I am with you, I never want them to end because all I want is to be around you.â
Togame stands straighter, âYou like me?â He smiles and looks in the distance. He looks back at you, and leans in closer to you. You two are a barely apart, âYou like me?â You nod your head in response. Togame leans in a little more until your lips are almost connected, you decide to close the rest of the distance. Your lips are about to touch until you hear a couple pairs of feet jump onto the roof yelling for Togame. Togame stands up but you can still feel his heat radiating off of him. He gives the other men a deadly glare, âWhat. Do. You. Want.â You watch the men stutter out, âWe need your help. Choji started a big brawl because he lost the karaoke battleâŠâ
Togame groans in frustration, âI am going to kill him. Give me a second and I will be down.â The men nod and hop down off the roof. Togame gives you his full attention and you speak first, âGo ahead, go stop the tornado. Iâll just head home.â
Togameâs eye widen, âHey come on donât do that, stay here.â You shake your head trying to hold back tears of frustration, âReally itâs okay, so go Togame. He probably already made a big mess.â You back up and go to jump down off the roof leaving Togame stunned, mad, and upset. Once youâre off the roof you are walking fast to get back home. You think about the whole situation again. He didnât say he liked you back and he was probably just caught up in the moment thatâs why he tried to kiss you. You definitely ruined everything.
You hear a pair of heavy footsteps coming up behind you and feel someone grab your wrist. You try to wiggle out of the strangers grasp until you hear your name and âItâs just me.â You turn to see Togame breathing heavily obviously from his run to catch up to you. Between his breathes he says, âWe arenât done talking. I didnât get to say anything. So here it goes,â he says your name, âYou are so captivating. The first time I met you I thought you were the most beautiful woman I have ever saw. I like you so much and have for the longest time. Your presence is so warming, when you smile, laugh, or just do anything my heart races so much. I never want our time to end either, the time I get to spend with you is such a highlight to my days. So please give me a chance, I want to be your boyfriend. I promise I will treat you right.â
You are at a loss for words so you just throw yourself at Togame, you hold him tight and nod your head. Togame is quick to return the embrace and holds you tight against him. After a couple minutes of calming down and holding one another, Togame tilts your chin up, âCan I kiss you now?â You smile and say âYes.â Togame leans down to connect your lips for a soft kiss. It is short but it gets your whole body warm and fills your stomach with butterflies. You look into Togameâs eyes and tell him, âI have been wanting to do that for a while now Jo.â
Togame gives you a smirk and says, âNot as long as me.â
Umemiya:
You were hanging out with Kotoha in Cafe Pothos baking some sweet treat of Umemiya and the Furin boys for their harvest festival. Umemiya was ecstatically yelling over the phone to you about how well his garden did this year so he had to host a âharvest festivalâ. He was telling you him and Hiragi were going to grill different kinds of meat and then a couple of people have volunteered to cook the veggies or set up platters. Which all that left was sweet treats. Thatâs why he reached out to you. A lot of the Furin boys love the sweet treats you make to give to Kotoha to sell at her cafe so he thought you would be perfect.
Umemiya said that you and Kotoha can come to the festival since you two are helping. It makes you excited because Furin get together are always fun and energetic.
You are putting the last batch of cookies in cafeâs oven when you hear the door slam open. You then hear Kotoha groan, âUME WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOOR OPEN!?â
You turn to see Umemiya giggling, âOopsies. Well I came to check how you two are doing. I brought extra hands to help carry the treats over.â
âWe are almost done Umemiya, the last batch of cookies are in the oven then have to cool. So like 20-30 minutes if you all are willing to wait.â You respond to him. Umemiya nods and waves the other boys in.
Sakura grumbles, âNo wait said we would have to wait. This is so much work.â Hiragi comes up behind him and pushes him a bit, âYouâre fine. Not like youâre doing anything else.â
The boys sit at the counter and make small talk while Kotoha gives them some coffee. Half way through the conversation the oven goes off so you pull out the cookies and set sheet on the counter. Umemiya calls out your name, âThose smell great!! I canât wait to eat them.â
You giggle, âThank you Ume. Ironically they are your favorite, sugar cookies.â Umemiyaâs pupils are basically in the shape of hearts. Umemiya tries to reach over and grab a cookie but Hiragi grabs the back of his coat and pulls him back, âYou idiot, fucking waiting. Thereâs plenty you can have at the festival.â
Umemiya pouts and silently agrees. The boys finish their coffee while you pack away the cookies in the last box. Kotoha closes up the shop real quick while you sort out who is going to carry what.
Once the cafe is locked up you all make your way to Furin. Hiragi and Kotoha are picking on Sakura while you are walking a little bit behind him. Umemiya bumps your shoulder with his, âThank you for doing all this. I took a peak in all the boxes because I couldnât help myself and saw you obviously put a lot of time into this. It means a lot.â
You smile brightly at him, âNo need to thank me! You and Furin do so much for the town so itâs the least I can do. Plus youâre my favorite person to make treats for so I was happy when you asked me.â
âWell your treats are my favorite. I canât wait till you make a bakery. I am going to go there everyday and make it another hang out spot for the school.â
âWell hopefully I can open a bakery after I graduate.â
Umemiya stops in front of you making you stop too, âIâll make sure it happens. Iâll help you every step of the way no matter what you happens.â
You stand there shocked but feel fuzzy inside. No one has ever encouraged you this much to follow your dream. It feels so special, he makes you feel so special. He makes it so easy to love him. You realize you were stuck in your head too long and respond, âThank Ume. That really means the world to me. Once I open my bakery youâll get a free pastry box.â
âNO! I HAVE TO PAY!! Thatâs how you stay in business silly, canât give free stuff out all the time. But I wonât turn down being a taste tester.â
You shake your head, âFine, fine. You can be my taste tester.â Umemiya brightly smiles and turns to walk again, âWell letâs go get this party started!!!â
After your talk with Umemiya the walk to Furin isnât too long. Once you get there Hiragi leads everyone to a classroom to put everything for now until everything is fully ready to set up. Once you place everything in the order you want you feel a tap on your shoulder and see Umemiya, âHey, meet up on the roof in 20 minutes okay? I gotta do some checks of all the classes but I want to talk to.â
You are a little concerned because itâs out of nowhere, heâs okay right? âAre you okay Ume?? Nothings wrong right?â
âOh no not at all! Everything is all good. Just want to talk to you about something.â
It still makes you a little nervous but it seems nothing is wrong, âOkay! Iâll meet you up there!â He nods and goes to walk out of the room until Hiragi stops him. Hiragi whispers something in his ear and he nods to whatever Hiragi says. Then Hiragi looks at you and smiles. Umemiya walks out and Hiragi follows.
You decide to go talk to Kotoha about it. You find where she is talking to Nirei and Suo. You walk up to the group and grab Kotohaâs arm and tell them, âSorry boys but I need to borrow her real quick.â You drag her away to empty classroom.
âKOTOHA, UMEMIYA WANTS TO TALK TO ME!!â
âUhhh okay and???â
âITâS OUT OF NOWHERE!?! WHAT DO I DO!?! You know I like him, omg what if itâs him saying he knows and he rejects me. I canât deal with that. Especially not with a crowd on his home turf. I think Iâm going to be sick.â
Kotoha smacks her face and drags her hand down it, âYouâre an idiot and oblivious. No way that idiot doesnât like you, heâs basically obsessed with you. Just calm down and talk. Confess if you want.â
âI donât think I could do that. I would end up making a fool of myself and then he would reject me.â
Kotoha rolls her eyes, âWhatever. Iâm leaving.â Then walks out of the room. You stand there baffled she just left, jerk. You look at your phone and see that you should head up to the roof now. You leave the classroom and head up to the roof.
Once you get to the double doors you take a deep breath then open the door and see Umemiya standing in the corner already. He hears you come through the doors and waves you over. You walk over to him and stand in front of him.
You two stand in silence for a bit looking over everything. Then a big gust of wind comes and makes you shiver. Umemiya is quick to take off his coat and offer it to you. You deny the offer because he would get cold without it.
Umemiya sighs and starts talking, âYou know the first time I came to Furin, I actually was really young. It was after my parents died and I ran away from the orphanage. I wanted to die so I could be at peace again. But a student from Furin was the one the helped and saved me. I learned a lot that day and it shaped me into the man I am today.â
Umemiya then takes the corners of his coat then wraps it around you and pulls you into him. âI learned you canât do everything alone. You need people you care about to help you when you need it. No matter what youâre going through those people are always willing to take the time to help you because they care about you. Those relationships are very important to me thatâs why I changed Furin so I can make more connections with the people in this town.â
Umemiya leans his forehead against yours, âYou are one of those people I treasure. You make my life brighter and happier. You mean everything to me and I like you so much. I want so much with you. I want to have a future with you.â He leans in closer making his intentions clear. He wants to kiss.
Umemiya just told you so much. You canât believe someone who is so bright was at one point so dark and alone. He really is the most incredible person to grace this earth. But he really does return your feelings!! You then make your intentions clear that you want to kiss him as well.
Before your lips can connect you hear the door to the roof open. You and Umemiya snap your head to the noise to see a mad and bright red Sakura. âHEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING UMEMIYA!?! WASNâT THIS FESTIVAL YOUR IDEA!? WE ALL ARE-â then Sugishita grabs him back the back of his shirt and throws him down the stairs. After he throws Sakura he walks down the stairs. Hiragi is standing watching the whole thing go down.
Hiragi turns to you two, âUh sorry. Couldnât stop him, I was busy grilling. Anyways carry on, but donât be too long Umemiya. Everyone is waiting for you.â He turns back and shuts the door on his way down.
You and Umemiya turn back to look at each other and burst into laughter. After you two are done laughing, Umemiya wastes no time to connect your lips in a passionate kiss. He pulls you closer with the grip he still has on his coat to deepen the kiss. Before the kiss gets too heavy Umemiya breaks it off.
He smiles down at you, âSorry I didnât want to waste any time on doing that. Jeez, that was great. So what do you say about being my girlfriend gorgeous?â
You smile brightly at him, âI would love nothing more to be your girlfriend Hajime.â
âYAYYYYY!!! Time to go have a festival now!! Iâm going to show you off all night.â He then leans down and presses a kiss to your forward and leads you back down to where everyone is at.
By the end of the night everyone calls you two the king and queen of Furin.
Suo:
Suo has always been a gentleman. Thatâs what made you fall for him in the first place, you accidentally rammed right into him on the street with all your groceries. He kindly helped you pick everything up and even helped you carry everything back to your house! That day you exchanged numbers and began talking each day, slowly getting to know each other.
As time went on, and you two talked and hung out more, you began to fall in love with Suo. He eventually introduced you to Sakura and the rest of his friends and you began to hang out with them when you all were out of school. You and Suo still spent plenty of time alone together, which only made you fall for him even more.
One day when you two were walking around town you turned to him and tilted your head. âHey Suo? What is going to Furin like? Are the other guys there as fun as your other friends?â He turns his head towards you and stops walking to ponder on your questions. He puts his hand on top of your head and laughs softly.
âWell if you really want to know dear, itâs quite fun there I suppose. Thereâs all sorts of guys there, but none nearly as fun as you are to hang out with.â Your eyes widen before you look away blushing. âAh I see, thatâs very sweet of you to say Suo.â He lightly smirks before grabbing your chin and titling before teasing you. âOh? Whatâs this? Are you blushing over a little compliment, how cute.â
You blush even more and lightly hitting his chest. âSuo, stop teasing! You do that way too much, itâs crazy! Iâm gonna die from embarrassment one of these days I swear!â He softly chuckles before letting go of your chin and continuing to walk. âWell, letâs continue our walk shall we?â You sigh before shaking your head and running to catch up with him.
As the day stretches on you decide that you are going to confess to Suo, and you are going to do it soon. You canât wait any longer without telling him how you feel, you donât care if you get rejected, you just need to get it off your chest. So once you get outside of your house, since Suo always insists on walking you back, you decide to ask him to meet up.
âSuo? Can we meet up tomorrow? In front of Furin is fine, I just need to tell you something and I think tomorrow is a good day to tell you.â You decided to pick tomorrow because itâll mark one year since you met Suo and you think thatâll be the perfect time to confess to him. He tilts his head down at you before lightly smirking. âOh? What could you wish to tell me that must wait until tomorrow? Iâm quite impatient you know, Iâm not sure if I can wait that long.â He huffs softly before chuckling, âIâm kidding, of course we can meet up, you donât even have to ask you know that? I would meet up with you every single hour of every single day.â
You give him a deadpan look before giggling. âYouâre so weird sometimes you know that Suo? But Iâm glad, I never tire of hanging out with you, it really makes me happy.â You smile before striding forward and wrapping your arms around him. âJust wait a little longer okay? Then Iâll tell you all that I have to say, because I wonât chicken out any more, I promise.â His eye widens slightly before he wraps his arms around you. âYou can wait as long as you need to tell me whatever it is you need to. Iâd wait forever for you, just know that dear.â
You part ways for the night and walk into your house. The next day comes and you are full of jitters, because today is finally the day that you confess to Suo. Hopefully it all goes well and he likes you back, but itâll be okay if he doesnât right?
Once you arrive outside of Furin, you see Suo already standing outside looking at his phone. You call out to him and walk up to him. âGood morning Suo! How was your night? Did you sleep well?â He picks his head up and puts his phone away. âHey there dear, I slept just fine no need to worry.â
He walks up to you and gently wraps his arms around you. âNow, just what did you need to tell me today, hm? Could you possibly be professing your undying love to me?â Your arms freeze and they go to wrap around him because did he seriously just guess that? Heâs got to be some sort of mind reader right? âWow Suo, you should switch professions, because I think youâre a mind reader. Because yeah, I did want to confess to you today, I love you Suo and itâs okay if you donât feel the same, I totally understand.â
Once again his eye widens at your confession, he didnât think that heâd be right on the money with that guess of his. âWell then, arenât we lucky? Because I get the pleasure of you loving me and you get the pleasure of me loving you in return.â He gently kisses the top of your head after he confesses to you as well.
âSuo, you better not be joking with me right now because Iâm being serious. I really do love you!â He softly sighs before taking a step back to tilt your chin up and looking you dead in the eyes. âI would never joke about this, I know you know that. I may tease you a lot but never would I joke about something like this. I love you beyond words, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.â
Your eyes widen at his confession and before you know it, heâs leaning in to give you a kiss on the lips. But before his lips ever reach yours, you hear yelling and feet pounding against the ground. And next thing you know Nirei is ramming right into Suo and ruining the moment. âOh Suo! There you are! Iâve been looking for you all over! Thereâs a meeting with the grade captains soon so we need to get going now!â
Suo sighs before turning to Nirei and smiling tightly. âYou got it Nirei, Iâll be there soon alright? Let me just finish up here first.â Nirei looks around beside seeing you and his jaw drops, âOH NO DID I INTERRUPT?? IâM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!â Your eyes widen and you softly giggle. âNo need to get all worked up Nirei, itâs okay.â Suo looks softly at you before hugging you once more and whispering in your ear. âDonât worry, weâll finish this later alright. Iâll try not to keep you waiting too long, I know how impatient you are, hehe.â
You give him a deadpan look before hugging him back. âDonât make me wait too long then lover boy, Iâll be waiting for that kiss alright?â You wave goodbye to the two of them before walking back to your house all giddy because now you and Suo have confessed and you know heâs going to kiss you later.
Once his meeting with the other grade captains is over, he immediately goes to find you. You had texted him that you were sitting on one of the bridges in town overlooking a river and he practically ran there. Once he saw you sitting on the ledge of the bridge he decided that he was gonna sneak up on you to surprise you.
Once he gets behind you he wraps his arms around your waist and softly whispers in your ear. âWell my dear? Shall we continue where we left off?â You about jump out of your skin when you feel arms around you but when you turn and notice that it was just Suo you relaxed immediately. âYou really know how to scare someone, you know that right Suo? But anyway let us continue, Iâd quite like to see how good of a kisser you are.â
He raises an eyebrow at that and smirks. âOh? Is that a challenge?â He grabs you by the waist and lifts you off of the ledge and swiftly turns you around. After that he grabs your face with both of this hands and pulls you into a deep and passionate kiss. After a little bit you two separate to catch your breath. âWell how was it dear? Was it to your satisfaction or do we have to do it again?â
Your eyes widen as you blush. âWell that was amazing but I will not turn down doing that again. I would love to kiss you for the rest of my life, Hayato.â He softly smiles as your use of his given name and he hugs you close to his chest. âI will gladly fulfill that wish of yours milady, until the end of time.â
Kiryu:
You had met Kiryu in middle school and became the best of friends. Though right before you two graduated you started to develop feelings for him, you were doing to confess the day of graduation but chickened out when he told you he was going to a different high school.
Though you lived in Makochi and could still see Kiryu when you two werenât in school, you thought against confessing because he was going to the school for good fighters. You didnât exactly want to get caught up in any quarrels. But things didnât really go as planned on your part, because you two ended up hanging out every day after school.
Since he got out of school before you he always walked to your school to pick you up to hang out. Those hang outs were the highlight of your day, but it didnât help your feelings whatsoever. You thought since you didnât go to the same school, you two would drift apart. That didnât exactly happen, and your feelings only ended up growing more.
One day you got out of school early, so you decided to walk over to Furin when Kiryu got out to surprise him. You were waiting outside the gates with your school bag in hand while scrolling on your phone. When you heard people walking out you put your phone in your pocket and waited for Kiryu.
When he walked out with his friend you waved and called out to him. âHey Kiryu!â He looked in your direction a little surprised, he didnât expect you to be out of school before him. âHey there, did you get out early today? You didnât tell me, how rude.â He lightly joked before patting your head.
âHehe yeah I did get out early. I wanted to surprise you, wanna go to CafĂ© Pothos? Iâve been craving Kotohaâs cooking all day.â He lightly smiled at you and nodded his head, âIâd never turn down going anywhere with you, wanna head out now? Or did you want to drop your stuff off at your house?â
Sakura and the others were standing there baffled because where did this girl come from? And how does Kiryu know her?? Nirei was the first to voice his confusion. âUhh Kiryu, who is this girl? And how do you know her? Does she live in Makochi? Does she go to school around her? Does she-â He was abruptly cut off by Suo placing his hand over his mouth. âSorry about that, but we are curious, who is this mysterious lady? Sakuraâs romance radar is going nuts.â
You both look at Sakura before looking at each other giggling. âThis is my bestest friend from middle school, she just goes to a different high school thatâs why youâve never seen her before. I always pick her up from school too.â You smile softly at him before kindly telling them your name. After you introduce yourself Kiryu grabs your hand gently and asks if youâre ready to go. âWell weâre gonna leave now, see you guys tomorrow.â
As he gently tugs you along, you turn around slightly and wave to his friends. âBye you guys! It was nice to meet you!â When you turn around you run a little to catch up with him. âKiryu, your friends seem so fun! I hope youâre having a good time at Furin, though I do miss going to school with you. Itâs not nearly as fun without you.â He turns his head to face you, âYeah, they are pretty fun, but you are even more fun to hang out with. Letâs get going to the cafĂ© shall we? You said youâve been wanting Kotohaâs food all day.â
He gently taps the tip of your nose before turning forward again. You were thankful he turned forward so he wouldnât see the ever growing blush on your cheeks from his actions.
You two arrived at Kotohaâs place and walked in. Kotoha turned around to see who came in and greeted you two. âWell if it isnât my favorite love birds! Whatâll it be today you two? Same as usual?â You cursed mentally because you just got rid of your blush from before and now your face turns red once again. âKotoha you know itâs not like that!â Kiryu giggles softly before responding to her. âYeah weâll have the usual, thank you Kotoha.â
Your eyes dart to him because he always brushes over when Kotoha calls you two lovebirds, could he feel the same? Or does he just not want to be rude? You two sit down and chat amongst yourselves while you wait for your food. âHey Kiryu? Do you want to hang out tomorrow? Thereâs a spot that Iâve been meaning to take you for a while, itâs near my school and itâs super pretty, I think youâll really like it!â
He tilts his head at you and nods right away. âSure! Sounds like itâll be fun and Iâve got no other plans, so letâs do it!â You breath a slight sigh of relief, even though you knew he would agree, you have decided that tomorrow will be the day that you confess to Kiryu and the spot you want to take him to will be a perfect place for it. âPerfect! Do you want to meet up outside here at 10 tomorrow morning?â He thinks about it for a second before responding. âYeah thatâll work for me, sure you donât want me to pick you up at your house?â
You gently shake your head, âNo, no thereâs no need for that! I like the walk here anyway!â He softly laughs and thatâs when Kotoha brings your food. âWell here you go you two lovebirds, enjoy!â You both thank her and begin eating your food. When you finish you two walk out of the cafĂ©, hand in hand yet again. When you are outside of your house you smile softly down at your intertwined hands and lightly squeeze his hand. He looks down at your hands when you do that and looks back up at you.
He lets go of your hand and immediately wraps his arms around you tightly. âIâll see you tomorrow yeah, my dear?â He whispers the last part so quietly that you barely heard him but you wrap your arms around him before placing your head in the crook of his neck. âYeah Iâll see you tomorrow, I have something to tell you then too okay?â He gently nods and lets go before waving and walking away.
The next day arrives and you walk over to CafĂ© Pothos and wait for Kiryu. When you see him walking towards you, you run up to him and hug him. âHey Kiryu! Letâs head off shall we?â He wraps his arms around you for a gentle hug before nodding. âYeah letâs go, I wanna see how pretty this spot is.â
You two walk to the spot, a spot right by the river a little ways off from a bridge near your school. You turn to him and ask him, âWell? How do you like it?â He doesnât turn to face you but responds, âThis is beautiful, definitely somewhere we need to come more often!â He turns to face you before gently taking your hands in his. âNow what did you need to tell me?â Your eyes widen at the fact that he remembered that, but it was now or never.
âWell Kiryu, I have liked you since before we graduated middle school and I just couldnât wait any longer to tell you, I understand if you donât reciprocate and thatâs okay! We can stay friends or not stay friends, whatever you think is best!â His eyes widen before he pulls you into his chest.
He gently whispers into your ear, âIâm so glad that you said that, Iâve been meaning to confess to you for so long but Iâve always been too nervous. I cannot begin to express my love for you but let me just show you with my actions instead yeah?â He takes a step back and places his hands on your cheeks and brings your face closer to his.
Right before his lips press against yours you hear someone yelling. âKIRYU!! WE FINALLY FOUND YOU, WE HAVE A PATROL NOW COME ON LETâS GO!â Your heads snap in the direction of the yelling and you see Sakura, both of your eyes widen and you both blush furiously. Kiryu huffs loudly before turning around to face his friends. âYeah, yeah Iâm coming stop rushing me will you?! You interrupted quite an important moment you know!â
You giggle softly before grabbing his hand. âItâs okay Kiryu, we can talk more later okay? You should go on that patrol of yours, Furin needs you.â He sighs lightly before nodding his head. âWeâll have that kiss of ours later alright? Look forward to it!â He pats the top of your head before walking off and waving to you. You smile softly before waving back. You stand in place while thinking back on what just happened, because Kiryu really does like you back and he told you to look forward to a kiss later!
You smile to yourself before jumping up and down and walking back home. For now though, youâre just going to have to wait for that first kiss of yours with your new beloved.
Kiryu texts you as soon as heâs done with his patrol to meet up at the same spot you were at earlier. When you finally get there the sun is setting and you see Kiryu. As soon as you see him you start running towards him and as you reach him you jump into his arms. He wraps his arms around your waist to catch you and thatâs when he locks your lips together in a soft and warm kiss. He spins you around while kissing you and when he sets you down he separates from your lips to catch his breath.
He sighs happily before tucking your face into his neck. âThat was amazing, well worth the wait I suppose. Letâs keep doing this everyday alright? I liked this a lot and want to do this forever.â You smile into his neck and give it a soft kiss. âYeah Iâd like that a lot. That was an amazing first kiss, thank you for that Mitsuki.â His eyes widen before he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head. âAnytime my dearest, Iâll kiss you forever and ever, no matter where or when.â
#togame x reader#jo togame x reader#togame jo x reader#umemiya x reader#hajime umemiya x reader#umemiya hajime x reader#suo x reader#hayato suo x reader#suo hayato x reader#kiryu x reader#mitsuki kiryu x reader#kiryu mitsuki x reader#wind breaker x reader
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Since you all have seen my TGAMM X GF AU, here are other TGAMM AUs I drew that I come out with.
Friends In Time
Post The End Swap (I need a better name)
Also here an extra drawing I made of Todd/Scratch. Sorta like a deltarune sort of thing I think. This one is not an AU btw, I just wanted an excuse to draw him with a sword.
Below will have an info about these 2 AUs, so I'll be rambling bout it below. :)
Friends In Time
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This AU is inspired by the Gravity Falls AU called Twins in Time. I love that AU and be like, "Hey what if Young Scratch and Adia got sent to the past but they ended up with eachother present self?"
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This AU takes place after the 'All In The Mind' episode.
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Scratch and Molly was messing around with the rare curses (Molly's idea) and Scratch accidentally messed it up, resulting for a portal to open up in the past and young Adia fall in it and she ended up in the present with Molly and Scratch. Past Scratch sort of witness how his friend just dissappear through a portal infront of him, another portal open up behind young Scratch and he falls in it. But instead of ending up with Molly and present Scratch, past Scratch ended up with present Adia. This left everyone confused. Especially present Adia.
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Molly was kind of excited with the situation since she got to meet her ghost best friend old best friend. Though Scratch suggested for Molly to not reveal anything to Past Young Adia. (I mean hey, seeing your best friend kind of 'died' in the future isn't very nice to know.) I think they'll try to change Scratch name incase. He called himself Duke. They'll reveal about it later.
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With Present Adia and Past Young Todd/Scratch, despite being confused, they both went on an adventure together while trying to get back to Brighton and find Past Young Adia.
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Past Young Adia stick around until 'The End' episode. Present Adia with Past Young Todd/Scratch finally reach Brighton during The End too and they visit Todd's house, which also the same time Molly and Scratch and with Past Adia were there to see them.
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The End would be a bit different than the original. Adia and Scratch finally have a talk before he goes back to his body. The Past selves are sent back to the past. And both Adia and Molly would try to help Scratch remember his time as a ghost before he and Adia went on their adventure together.
Post The End Swap
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This is basically a personality swap between Scratch and Molly after 'The End'. Or a swap, literally. Thanks to Bill, one of the TGAMM creator for telling us what will Season 3 be like if Disney gave them a green light. This just gave me an idea on how this story would go.
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In this AU, Scratch did not die. He is still alive and healthy and did not get into any hang-gliding incident.
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But in this AU, Molly finally gave up her soul after experiencing the rough aftermath of how it gets harder to try to enhappify people, making Brighton better and losing people she love. (Patty becoming a ghost and Ollie moving away) She became lost and hopeless as years went on till high-school. Feeling less joy also made her wraith form change colour to pink like her eyes but a bit dull and a bit gold.
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Idk how Scratch and Adia will meet Molly yet, but when they did Molly put a curse on them. The same curse that made Scratch got pull to Molly's side whenever she calls for him, but it's Molly who got dragged to Scratch's side when he said her name.
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Molly had been a ghost for about a month or two. Ofc her family and friends are aware and tries to find Molly's ghost but unsuccessful. The Chens who now stay in another place after the move also being informed by the Mcgees about the situation too.
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As for being a ghost for too long, Molly's memories started to become fuzzy and she had a hard time recalling them, slowly losing her memories and forgetting who she is. Though it's not as bad as Scratch, but she just had a hard time recalling. She forgot her name and only remember that it probably starts with a M. So Scratch just called her Moll and his reasoning is, "Idk, you just look like a Moll person." Which confused Molly, Adia and himself with it.
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And yes, these two duo has no idea who the other are due to memory lost. Molly having a harder time to recognise Scratch since he is Todd now and alive instead of the ghost buddy she always remembers. (Same with Scratch as deep down he remember his friend being a human instead of a ghost, and the change of her wraith colour instead of gold is also less helping.) But the name sorta ring a bell for her a bit.
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Together they tried to uncover Molly's memories as Molly follow Scratch and Adia through the adventure. Plus without them realising, they're also gonna uncover Scratch's memories too! Now it's The Ghost and and Todd/Scratch Mortenson, with Scratch being the optimistic one and Molly being EMolly or realistic and hopeless, or just season 1 Scratch but it's Molly, and Scratch is Molly but in Scratch own way, yk?
Welp these are the info I have about these 2 AUs for now. There are still more TGAMM AUs that I would love to share more in the future! Like there's ALOT in my notes. Wish I could make a fic for all of 'em. Anyways cya and have an enhappifying day/night!
Bâ
#seriously I'm not kidding#there's like 34 of them#who would like to fight me on who have the most tgamm au?#my brain just made these up these ideas in such random times and in random places#where did all these ideas come from???#i will mention this again in the future who know#and who knows maybe i will come up with more tgamm aus hhhh#tgamm#scratch mcgee#molly mcgee#todd mortenson#tgamm au#tgamm fanart#TGAMM: Friends In Time#TGAMM: Post The End Swap AU#scratch the ghost#art#fanart#âbria artzâ#â bria's rambles! :0#the ghost and molly mcgee#adia williams#adia tgamm
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Sujamma Sundas!
Thank you for the tag @theoneandonlysemla
Tagging: @dirty-bosmer @firefly-factory @illumiera @thequeenofthewinter @hircines-hunter @ladytanithia @pocket-vvardvark @sanza-17 @ijiwaruuma @sulphuricgrin @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @fujisakisan @skyrim-forever
Don't have to participate if you don't wanna :p
Topic: This week, Sujamma wants to know about YOUR OC's special someone. What makes their relationship special? How did they meet? Were they enemies to lovers? Lovers to enemies? Lovers AND Enemies? Are they romantic or platonic? What's their favorite way to cuddle? Favorite date night? Anything and everything you can think of đ
WHO DO I CHOOSE?
Ondolemar or Hi'rem?? -3- hmmmmmm~
I'll go with Ondolemar!~
Snow White's first ever true love is Justiciar Ondolemar! :P He's her first hubby and they get married in the forests of Riften in secret.
What makes Snow White's relationship special with Ondolemar is he's very patient and loving with her and doesn't berate her for how childish and niave she is, or how differently her brain works. Instead of calling her an idiot (though he did used to do that) he redirects her and shows her the right way to go about something, and also helps her verbalize her emotions and communicate properly when she's having a hard time doing so herself.
They met in Markarth. Snow White heard about the infamous murder capital and thought it would be a great chance to get some money since she's always broke. They crossed paths with each other and for Snow White, it was love at first sight. "You have the privilege of speaking to the Thalmor, bask in it!" That was IT for her. Snow White doesn't know it, but she has a thing for men with enormous egos. XD
I wouldn't call it enemies to lovers, but it was definitely a 'Annoying-fly-that-never-leaves-me-alone to lovers' at least, on Ondolemar's end.
100% Romantic, they get mushy with each other and everything.
Snow White will cuddle with Ondolemar litterally anywhere, she will cuddle with him in Black Reach if the need arises. No Falmer, just cuddles. For Ondolemar his favorite place to cuddle Snow White is on the couch at Vlindrel Hall after eating a lovely dinner. Favorite date night to Snow White would be exploring a crypt together, for Ondolemar it would be walking through one of Alinor's beautiful flower gardens.
Some extra facts~! When Snow White throws a fit Ondolemar normally waits until she tuckers herself out then gives her a glass of warm milk to help her calm down. Does the trick every time.
At first Snow White's toddler-like behavior infuriated him but after he accepted he was in love with her and got closer Ondolemar realized he is literally no better. He goes into a blind rage whenever he hears Talos worshippers speak their nonsense or when Nords go out of their way to make his life difficult. The difference is that Snow White is the way she is by no fault of her own and she actively recognizes the problem and tries to fix it. Ondolemar, however, is not only older than her but wiser, and as an esteemed mer he has absolutely no excuse for his own 'fits'. Hence why her temper tantrums don't faze him anymore.
Ondolemar loves how absolutely ready Snow White is to drag him into some mischievous scheme, just slotting him into her whims like he's supposed to be there. Gives him a chuckle and makes his life more interesting. His favorite so far has been "Let's have sex in Jarl Ulfric's bed! :D"
When Ondolemar is having a bad day Snow White will lay on the floor by his desk and write or journal or color or just do something. Her being in the general area relaxes him. When he starts drumming his fingers against the desk or gets a little too aggressive with his pen strokes she'll get up and hug him from behind, silently letting him know that its time to take a break, or gives him room to vent his troubles.
Snow White will hide underneath Ondolemar's bed and pretend she's a monster. Partially because she thinks its funny, and partially because being underneath Ondolemar's bed makes her feel safe. Surrounded by his scent. She feels loved that way, that she's allowed to be under there and know that Ondolemar will let her stay under there as long as she needs.
#elder scrolls#skyrim#tes v skyrim#oc#elder scrolls oc#fanfiction#sujamma sundas#snow white#early snow white#snow white ldb#ldb oc#ondolemar#thalmor#altmer#snowwhitethedragonborn#romance#meme#funny
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Greek Brothers Ë⥠â A tutorial. âHow do I write Frat Boys?â
OK, A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANTED A PART 2. HERE U GO
!DISCLAIMER! Not all frats are the same, and no two people are the same. This is constructed based off of my experience with various types of brothers (and sisters) in Greek life.
Letâs go!
1. TYPES of Frat Boys
Ok, so just to start, to write frat boys in general you are automatically going to need to learn how to write borderline terrible behavior lol. There are many different kinds of Frat Boys, but the one that probably just popped into your head has blonde of brunette hair with a baseball cap, a beer in hand, and horrible manners. Probably a sleazeball, too.
We call those types of brothers Douchebags, or âDudeBrosâ
DudeBros are basically walking talking himbos. Sports, beer, money, hoes, sex, liquor, lie lie lie lie. Probably has a college bro accent, which TRACES BACK to a Valley Girl accent. Brush up on your Californian, cuz you canât understand him with his mouth full of gum and his head CONSTANTLY tilted back.
These dudes are more than likely holding some sort of title at the frat. Heâs probably VP, Recruitment chair, or house manager. Either way, youâll encounter them a lot in Greek life. Reaaaallly lean into that whole exaggerated frat boy thing in your writing!! LEAN INTO IT! The stereotypes are very correct lolđ
9/10 he is probably pushing around a pledge, or having one run his errands. Some examples of how he would talk includeâŠ
âYo, pledge, caâmere? Get this dude some water, and then when he stops throwing up, kick him the fuck out.â âHeâs being a little bitch and thereâs mad hoes around and itâs ruining the vibe, bro.â âYo, whatâs up babesâŠoh yeah the bathrooms just over thereâŠYouâre Gracieâs sister, right? You guys do your makeup the same. Her makeup looks like shit.â
LEARN TO WRITE DISRESPECT!! they are so disrespectful to those they donât find attractive and are so meanđ Heâs loud, unserious, a twinge misogynistic, and is likely to grab your ass at the party. The second kind of Frat boy, which is actually less talked about, is the Pushover. Itâs exactly what it sounds like. Heâs new, heâs learning to adjust to the frat, etc etc.
YOUR CHARACTER WILL HAVE MUCH BETTER LUCK COMMUNICATING WITH A PUSHOVER VS A DUDEBRO.
They donât really get called by their name a lot lolđ theyâre often just referred to as âpledgeâ and lowkey are still adjusting to the party scene. Heâs gonna be quieter, but will exercise his frat boy status when left alone. Literally will ONLY step into that attitude AFTER his brothers are gone.
I donât think I need to give examples for this kind of dude, cuz heâs really just a quiet nodder.
However, this doesnât exempt him from being a bad person. Because a pledge wants to earn respect from his brothers, they are going to make him do some INSANE shit. This is how hazing works, so now you know how to write hazing.
His brothers will make him say or do insane shit to girls, and heâs experiencing his first rush of frat power. Is actively forming into a proper frat boy, so try and highlight this by giving him a âsofterâ tone compared to his brothers. Heâs not as loud as the DudeBro, and he kind of speaks with a mumble in his words. Probably has a really bad vocal fry going on too
The third Frat Boy, also the one Luigi falls into is the TechBro.
These guys lack one of two things; Social skills, or open-mindedness. Do not get into arguments w these men you will leave wanting to end it all.
The DudeBroâs right hand man, but not douchey and misogynistic. Is arguably the smartest person in the frat, but literally cannot stfu about his views and knowledge for five seconds. Borders on âscaring away the hoesâ and âsexy smart manâ
You can ALSO expect these types of men to be in positions of power. Usually a frat treasurer, philanthropy chair, or national advisor.
Heâs contrastingly nice compared to most of his brothers but every now and again he will say something that raises a red flag in your mind before trying to re-explain himself better.
some examples of things they would say includeâŠ
âHey girls. Henderson? Yeah no he went upstairs with Rachel. Can you go upstairs? No. Absolutely not.â âWhat? Do we have any food? Iâm not supposed to be giving you any but we have some Cheez-its in the top cabinet above the microwave.â â*Lengthy rant about political views (usually libertarian.)*â
Now that thatâs OUT THE WAYYY, letâs talk about what they do!
Frat boys actually donât do much. They attend classes mostly, and every now and again theyâll host a rager. Most parties are genuinely open invite, as I said before, but brother-exclusive parties are literally just keg wars or chapter retreats.
Things Iâll leave you with so youâre not stuck on writing a frat-life event thatâs NOT a party;
Recruitment events during rush week
Community service
Game Nights
Brotherhood dinners (sweethearts may sometimes attend these)
Greek Week Comps
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While back you said we need a functional rightwing party in the US, elaborate on that?
I said we need a functional conservative party. It's not technically incorrect to use right wing in this context, but colloquially right wing often implies farther right/more extreme, so I want to be clear that's not what I mean.
Unfortunately, half of this country (give or take) is conservative. They need a party to vote for. They're not going to just vote for Democrats anyway, we have ample evidence of that. I would like them to vote for a conservative party that is not comprised of insane wannabe fascists as the Republican Party currently is. I know in partisan politics people love to call their opponents evil, but that's not an exaggeration with the Republican Party at this point. I think that can be hard to see because we used hyperbole against Republicans in the past before it was literally true, and also because the far right capture of the Republican Party has been a longterm project, but they used to be normal. Bad, but normal. Nixon resigned before articles of impeachment were brought against him because Republican Senators told him they had the votes to convict in the Senate. That was a mere 50 years ago. And Nixon era Republicans weren't exactly cute and fluffy, a lot of their policies were very right. They still rejected their president when he got caught committing crimes.
We need two parties. The US system makes it pretty much impossible to have more than two at the national level, and it's really not that big a deal--with primaries and state-level parties we can have parties like the modern Democratic Party that are effectively large coalition parties. Having one party isn't good. Philosophically I'm against one-party rule and just in terms of functionality, there's a reason everyone complains about New York Democrats. In states that are so non-competitive they effectively have one party rule, the government tends to become dysfunctional. You see a lot of corruption and cronyism too. Elections are decided in the party primaries, which means you have to registered with that party. Even in open primary states, you can pick which primary you vote in but you can only vote in one. So you have to choose between building opposition or getting any say at all over who your governor, mayor, etc. is. Sometimes people who would, for example, be Republicans in any other state, run as Democrats in deep blue states because it's the only way to get elected. That's also not helpful.
Even if it wasn't a terrible idea, one party rule at the national level is not really viable. Enough of our voters are fickle and perpetually dissatisfied. "Democrats win every election for the foreseeable future" is not a viable election strategy. As we've seen, we can't count on that. People complain that liberals say every election is life or death, but we say that because every election since 2016 has been life or death. That's not normal. Losing elections is supposed to be disappointing, not apocalyptic.
As a left-leaning person, of course I think it would be great to have a center-left party and a left party, but that's not the reality of the electorate. Most of this country is further right than me. I'm not going to give up on persuasion, but in the meantime they need a party to vote for that isn't attempting to implement fascism and blowing up our relationships with our allies. People who don't agree with me have a right to political representation too. I would never vote for this hypothetical functional conservative party, I would campaign against it every time, but for the health of democracy it needs to exist.
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abby, sorry to get extremely real on a friday night but like how do you deal with feelings of environmental existentialism (for lack of a better term) that you may have. It feels like it's hit especially hard this week and I'm sure Tuesday is a factor in that but I do not enjoy the feeling, at 28, of time accelerating into an uncertain but generally unpleasant singularity, actually
i love this question because this is one of the biggest fears of my life because of my debilitating fear of death and yknow my general love for being alive and the people on this planet. the short term direct answer is that i often don't deal at all. i often feel sharp pain and edge into true panic until i distract myself, and looking at my weather app often makes me choke.
but the larger answer is that it's actually our responsibility not to (over)indulge in climate grief. we are not speeding headfirst, heedless and uncontrolled into a singularity. the trends are not good, the damage is making itself known, but things are never hopeless. there are thousands and thousands of human beings who have dedicated their lives to studying, remedying, and speaking out about the damage done to our climate. and there are solutions. there are breakthroughs every single day! succumbing to depressive existentialism is not only not helpful, but does actually ignore a lot of the progress that is being made! things are dire and have been dire but they are NOT hopeless.
i find that these feelings hit hardest when i have been the most isolated, and that they piggyback on feelings of despondency about other things i see going Wrong in the world (and there is a lot!). but everything is connected. finding ways to spend time with others, spend time outdoors, use your voice/money for Action (whether protesting, volunteering, working, even just having conversations with others), all these things ease the emotional burden. recognizing that everything feels #unprecedented because we are more connected to global information than any other time in history while simultaneously becoming increasingly isolated and individualized helps ground the feelings in context in a way i find helpful.
climate grief is inexorable from grief over genocide, capitalism, racism, misogyny.... everything is connected. and just as we have the privilege and responsibility of never giving into the urge to hide away from any of the other things, taking action and feeling connected to community around you makes fighting these things feel possible.
being alive is SUCH a gift and whatever the future holds is never a guarantee, even if the climate was exactly the same as it was when you were born. we are only given so much time, and the best way to experience literally anything other than terror and rage (i have found) is just to move outside my own self a little. to take a deep breath and sink my toes into the earth and try to remember there are so so so many people making both incremental and massive change every day, and that giving up on someone you love before they die is never the right choice. we can always do something, and/or amplify those who are.
and sometimes? it's a simple as calling it quits on the scrolling and just creating something, even just. cooking. or watering a houseplant. or closing your eyes and singing as loud as you can while crying. you know?
(if i remember tomorrow i will link some pieces about dealing with climate grief/hope, because it actually does help that everyone who works in the field is absolutely uniform in saying outlandish extenstial dread is not a useful space to live in)
#at the end of the day none of this alleviates my true fear (dying) (unavoidable) (too late in the night to think about it too much)#but being alive is so beautiful and feeling grief and part and parcel of that#but staying Stuck in that feeling is selfish and unhelpful and honestly looking away from all the hope there still is#because of those working tireless around us#sometimes it just comes down to loving something too much to borrow grief from the future#and wanting to Fight#and when all else fails it is fine to sit with the terror for a little bit and distract yourself when needed#but also literally when it gets too bad i know i just need to call someone i love take a walk and drink water#we keep singing even so is my mantra so#thats it.#you understand reality and you keep going and maybe the song will change#doom is not real!!!!!!!!!!
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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so
#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like#in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive#and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be ⊠careful#but I got fun drunk and didnât have too bad of a hangover and didnât feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically canât#do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and itâs frustrating to my friend with severe control issues#bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and Iâm like erm babe I canât like#do that? and then if I donât feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because Iâm bailing but itâs#challenging. and you donât understand unless you live with it.#and itâs frustrating for us both. I donât want her to think I donât value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I#genuinely feel bad. but itâs so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having#to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like#Iâm spent before I even get there#friend I saw last night and I donât talk consistently but when we do itâs always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life#I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because theyâre in a discord call almost every night#I donât have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like Iâm so sorry thatâs so much for me#idk she isnât answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not Iâm literally going to bed#I love her but thereâs a disconnect between us rn and I donât know how to mend that gap#but I do love her friendship so Iâm just like. sigh#idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that#I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. Iâm just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who iâve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think itâs a manic episode but we donât really know but itâs. terrifying lowkey#he thinks heâs genuinely jesus and that heâs conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#heâs been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like âbecause itâs 6:20 this is trueâ and like âi know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understandâ#and heâll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but itâs all nonsense#iâm just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i donât know how to ensure that happens cause heâs 19. not a minor#heâs just. not him rn. heâs called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you canât get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didnât sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but weâre leaving today and i donât wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but itâs just. scary. i donât know what to do. i donât think thereâs any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain heâs Not Him rn so they donât get concerned but who knows if theyâll understand what iâm trying to say#i know itâs not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she canât stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. weâre all too scared itâs going in the directon where he thinks itâs better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but heâs Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back itâs really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. heâll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but heâs Not Him. and canât give it#i just. really want this to get better but itâs so hard to see that happening rn
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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers#literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live#so you may be subjected to some nonsense#that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings#the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass#the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that#the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check#im joking of course dont quote me on it#jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml#jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated#a character with many moving parts im sure#there were a few things i did not care for#namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion#i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense#i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on#all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family#so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me#which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean#i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest#uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him#andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck#two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other#the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier#but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited#uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably#pedestrian#not necessarily in a bad way#it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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havenât been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth weâve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked upâŠwe have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help itâs like an hour drive there, so thatâs been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but heâs been sick for a week and having concerning symptomsâŠ) if Iâm not on a ton or slow to replying to messages itâs bc Iâm working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi đ
#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isnât have seizures but he can#barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. đ and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty#Iâm seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know sheâs so sick of me but man my little guy. if she canât figure out a combo that doesnât have such#bad side effects Iâm literally going to scream and cry#heâs the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. đ#sanchoyorambles#Iâve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting âoh theyâll call u backâ WHEN#GIRL MY PUBBY#if I donât hear back before his next dose Iâm just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now#heâs literally on the smallest possible dose too bc heâs so little. so. they canât go down in dosage theyâll need to put him on smth else đ#which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL#screaming.#and like if I have the money itâs fine. and itâs not like the vet couldâve known heâd have bad side effects#im just frustrated itâs no oneâs fault#I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away#they have the only groomer Iâve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!!#they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them đ#remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings Iâve managed to build up đ€§#my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol⊠thatâs my baby#itâs just really bad timing. not that thereâs good timing for medical issues but. u know
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good evening to everyone except a certain few fucking anons
#go fuck yourselves like seriously what the fuck#im so sick of this#this is about the last two anons by the way. i havent gotten any more because i turned off anon asks#if you wanna know why anon asks are off blame those two assholes#seriously that stupid shits been getting to my head#you know why? because every fucking person around here (especially my mum) LOVES to criticise me and accuse me of victimising myself#literally every fucking thing i do is wrong around here down to my hair#all these fucking adults like to bully me about MY hair#fuck you if i want bangs I'll keep the bangs#literally it seems like they're just doing whatever they can to change me into someone else. someone they want#this fucking culture of mine is so shitty i swear to god#like they think that BULLYING you is people being honest with you#and that if someone's nice to you theyre shittalking you behind your back#(honestly considering some of the people i see i wouldn't be surprised)#and im not even doing anything thats WRONG either. im different and not one of these people can tolerate that#yeah my mum sent me a video of a goat with curly hair and implied she thinks my bangs are like that. in a derogatory manner btw#so yeah that's had me pissed and then the fucking anons were also making me pissed#fuck you I'm gonna be as selfish as i want when i post on MY blog#this blog is MINE#I decide what i write and how much i wanna shittalk someone who upset me to get my feelings out. if anyone wants to call me selfish fuck you#and you know what? fuck That Person too. they geniunely messed me up more than they helped me#yes. im still gonna talk about them. im still gonna complain because FUCK YOU I NEED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW OKAY#I NEED THIS SHIT OUT OF ME AND IT GETS BACK INTO MY HEAD SO I NEED IT OUTSIDE#and fuck you anons who gave your unwanted opinion. if you cant say anything nice SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS#i was taken advantage of and manipulated#and apparently I'm the bad guy for small mistakes like excuse me#and then that person even told a friend of theirs once to attack me (over text) like what#i just cant anymore it needs to be fucking out#and im not sorry for complaining about this because this is my blog and i will complain on here. this blog is for ME. for MY happiness.#and as such i will fucking complain shit and i will fucking post my vents because thats the only way i can send these emotions off for good
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i shouldnt be stuggling with misfit outcast feelings at fucking 22 but here we fcuking are
#mypost#i always had but ive never been this outgoing my whole life. and boy when you go out you dont liek what you find#im always a bad 3 three sentences away from saying ''i dont respect literally any of you people'' out loud#it doesnt ease the more i get to know people. everyone is trapped tied down on their own tracks waiting for their trolley#and no one can see you from where they are they cant look at you they cant turn theyre tied down#oops im becoming a fucking. soliticism or stoicism dude. or whatever thats fuckin called#look im also tied down on tracks mine are just rainbow colored#i need someone facing my own tracks where we can see each other and speak and ease each others pain waiting for hte train#is that too much to ask#we're not in the matrix i just need to meet more people who society hurt in ways thats similar to mine come ON dude
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how tf did me facetiming someone i matched with on tinder turn into them giving me unsolicited advice about giving people your full attention after i already let them know that i recently got diagnosed as adhd and itâs hard for me to focus on just one thing/person and then them telling me that âbased on my behaviorâ they think iâm autistic like ?? didnât ask, we literally started messaging each other like a day ago, even if i am autistic (which wouldnât be a bad thing if i am) when has it ever been socially acceptable to tell someone you JUST MET that you think theyâve got some kind of mental disorder/illness/disability/etc.
my friends have mentioned that i might be autistic and thatâs fine bc iâve spent a lot of time with them and they actually know me and i take their perspective of me very seriously because theyâre the people who see me 100% unfiltered and have known me whenever iâve been completely unmedicated. i trust their word.
this person from tinder, however, i have sent like maybe 20-30 messages to where we talked about nanowrimo and i was like omg itâd be so cool to meet someone who also writes, whether itâs as friends or as more, i would love thatâonly for our facetime call to be less than 20 minutes long and for them to try and diagnose me as autistic just because i, after ALREADY TELLING THEM that i have adhd and after them asking about meds and me telling them that i havenât taken my adhd meds today because i didnât have work and also iâve taken multiple naps today which has made my head even more foggy and made it even harder than usual to focus, found it difficult to focus.
like. i wasnât unresponsive. i wasnât ignoring them. i was listening and i was responding, i just also was looking between my phone and my laptop screen.
which okay i understand that maybe iâm just frustrated because of the âbased on your behaviorâ comment because an 18 minute facetime call does not give someone enough interaction time to try and fucking diagnose me as anything, and maybe this is more of a we just didnât vibe and thatâs fine, i donât think theyâre like a bad person or anything and if nothing else iâm glad the mismatched vibes were felt before deciding to meet up or anything, but also.
eighteen minutes. literally eighteen minutes and they fucking âbased on your behavior i think youâre autisticâ and âhereâs some advice, when meeting new people you should give them your full attentionâ
FUCK that.
#idk maybe theyâre also autistic and thought it was supposed to be helpful? and again i dont think theyâre a bad person#and esp if they are some kind of neurodivergent they might not have realized how that comment could come across#so iâm trying not to take it too personally bc 1. i dont rlly know them 2. they dont rlly know me and 3. it has no heavy impact on my life#but also like idk it just was weird and even if they didnt intend to comment to come across like that#i can still be uncomfortable and upset about it#anyways moving on this is why i barely ever open tinder in the first place lmaooo#aricomplains#also like they probably arent all that wrong to be fair#i know it can come across as rude to not put ur full focus on someone esp someone youâve just met and that is something i want to work on#it just felt weird that i literally explained i have adhd and its hard to focus and i promised them its nothing personal if i struggle#to focus on them while talking and like AFTER i said that they tried to give me that âadviceâ like i hadnt already addressed it#idk i understand how my actions might have come across as rude or something but if someone told me they had adhd and struggled to focus#i would immediately know not to take it personally if theyâre like fidgeting or on their phone while i talk or smth#which i also get is not something everyone has to do too like no one is required to react the same and#blah iâm overthinking this i need to stop#basically: i understand how my part in the ft call might have come across and i addressed it and tried to focus as much as i could#and if they took my lack of focus as rude i understand why and i also understand my ability to focus on peopleâs something i need to work on#but also the way they approached it rubbed me wrong and those comments made me uncomfortable and upset#but again i started talking to them yesterday and have no obligation to talk to them again so#take this as a lesson and a reminder of why i need to keep working on my ability to focus on people better when talking to them#and also take this as a reminder as to the kind of people i want to spend time with and thats not people who give passive aggressive advice#or try to diagnose someone they JUST met#and then take those lessons and reminders with me as i move on#ok im done now im gonna unmatch w them on tinder and also maybe just delete tinder entirely bc i barely use it anyway and would rather#try to meet people in more authentic ways#honestly my hope is that now that iâm spending like 3 days a week at the library in between shifts#i might meet another library-going sapphic and that would be VERY lovely đ„°
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