#but also like you'll manage to recover and it's something you can just move on from

[the-ghost-king]

anytime I start a new fic and it's incomplete/in progress and it's unbelievably good I'm always incredibly nervous the author will stop uploading, especially when they have like "lets see if i can actually finish this" type comments in the notes and I can't judge because I completely understand and you'll note the only thing I ever posted to ao3 that couldn’t be a standalone oneshot was deleted like 7 chapters in so like i can't be upset i am also the guilty party but dear author please know your words have left me laying on the floor and staring at the cieling only 3 chapters in and i need this fic i can tell from just these few chapters that it is going to mean something to me (it already does even if you finish here) but the way it would hit me if you manage to get all the chapters uploaded

[itsagoodluckkiss]

Lost Time

Pairings: Roronoa Zoro x F!Reader

WC: 2K

Warnings: Mutual pining, idiots in love, just pure fluff, no use of Y/N

A/N: Finally coming out from my hole to work on the requests I have neglected for so long. It was a rough couple of months, I'm juggling work, school and the problems that come with existence, so please be kind. English is not my first language, so sorry if this is all over the place at times. This is a request from my lovely @macbethsymphony, I love you so much, beautiful. I combined the two ideas and I really hope you'll at least enjoy it. Also forgive me for not making it suggestive, fluff suited it better I think. 💕

"Hiya 💕 Can I request something? I’m really craving some Zoro fluff 👉👈 I was thinking of something along the lines of kind of an accidental confession? Like the reader accidentally says they find him handsome but quickly and casually brushes it off (out of embarrassment but they’ve got a good poker face) but it sticks in his mind for days. Or maybe something about insomniac alone time in the crows nest? Idk I’ll let you chose what you prefer (if you decide to go for it that is because absolutely no pressure!!!) I’ll also let you decide if you wanna make it suggestive :3 whatever feels best for the story! Anyways love you ✨"

If anyone had said to you two years ago that you’d find your forever family on a pirate ship, you would have laughed at their face. Sometimes, when you lay in your bed at night, you still can’t comprehend the fact that you’re surrounded with such unique and amazing people. Despite the hardships and pain you had endured, you would never exchange the loving bond you had with your friends, each one holding a special place in your heart. But one of those bonds was slightly different.

It was slightly unbelievable how you had hit it off instantly with the swordsman of the crew, ever since they picked you up from your small island town back in the East Blue. Zoro’s your partner in crime, the person closest to you, the one you’d always trust with your hopes and fears. Even in moments of weakness, he was the person who managed to make you get it together. And somehow in return, you had managed to crack through his hard shell, gaining his trust and respect. Υour cheeky and bubbly personality appealing to his nonchalant character, making him smile whenever you were around, whenever you’d spend time together.

In the battlefield, you two were a force to be reckoned with. You always had his back, literally, watching out for enemies’ sneak attacks, him always protecting you when you were down, cutting down on anyone who dared to touch you. And that’s why Zoro never went easy on you during training, always wanting you to give you a challenge so you’d be in your best shape when in need. You appreciated that he never judged you based on gender, but sometimes, you wish he would relax, both for your sake and his.

It was the following days of a particularly rough battle; your bodies were still recovering from the wounds you sustained. You were in the crow’s nest, trying to keep up with his quick moves, the muscles of your legs straining as you deflected his attacks. Honestly, you couldn’t understand how this man could move with those dreaded wounds on him, but here he was, almost kicking you off your feet.

“Don’t lose your focus.”

Your eyes met his as you panted, trying to find your breath, fists raised in the air, sweat running down your forehead. You glanced down his body, your eyes widening when you saw the red streak on the bandages that covered his waist. You relaxed your stance immediately, going towards him to make him sit down the bench.

“Stupid bastard, you reopened your wound!”

“It’s nothing, don’t hover over me, we shouldn’t stop.”

“Shut up and sit still, let me see.”

You unwrapped the bandages around him, flinching when the slash on his ribs was visible to you. You grabbed the first aid kit from across the room. Chopper had insisted there would be one in every room because according to him, he may be a reindeer, but he may not always be able to treat all of you animals simultaneously. You sat beside Zoro on the bench. Disinfecting the wound got you a slight, almost silent hiss from him.

“You’re lucky the stiches haven’t reopened.”

“See? It’s nothing, no need to fuss.”

“You know, I only joined you today because I wanted to stop you eventually. You shouldn’t strain your body like that, Zoro. You should give it time to heal.”

You were careful with your moves, applying the ointment your doctor had made, cleaning the skin around his wound and then got the sweat off his abs before you wrapped fresh bandages around him. You were the only person besides Chopper that Zoro allowed to tend to his wounds. You had to admit that it made you feel special. It also gave you a chance to touch that body that felt like it was sculpted by the gods. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you never starred at him when he wouldn’t look, or how your heart thumped in your chest whenever he was too close. You had come to peace with your feelings of love for the swordsman, and you had come to peace with the fact that you’d never say a word about them. They wouldn’t be reciprocated anyways, so why would you ruin your friendship over them?

Right now, you had him in your arms, and it was enough. Rubbing the tension off his shoulders, his back laying against your chest, sighing in relief. His guard was down when you two were alone, allowing himself some sort of vulnerability, trusting in you to keep that side of him to yourself. His chiseled back, bare and clean from scars, laid in your display. His eyes were closed and you could see with the corner of your eye his facial features slowly relaxing. Your mind was racing, how you wanted to smother that beautiful face of his with kisses. You were smiling to yourself, not realizing you were thinking out loud.

“You’re so handsome…”

Your eyes widened for a second, breath caught in your throat, before you composed yourself as his eyes snap open to look at you, his gaze as stoic as always, not able to read what was going on in his mind.

“What?”

“I mean, you’re too handsome to die from not taking care of yourself. Do better, Roronoa.”

Your mind was reeling, almost short circuiting, but you kept your cool, appearing unbothered by what you just said, although you let go of him almost immediately after. You gathered your things, ready to go die in your room from embarrassment. He rises to his feet, stretching his limbs before grabbing a tower to wipe off the remaining sweat off his forehead.

“I’m gonna go lay down. You should rest too. Promise me you won’t train more today, yes?”

A sigh of annoyance left his mouth. “Okay, I promise you. Happy?”

“Yes. I’ll see you later.”

~

He had to admit, he didn’t expect your compliment. Of course, you had complimented each other’s skills and fighting in the past, but you had never made a comment about his appearance. Zoro pondered over it the next couple of days. He noticed how you had scattered almost immediately after, and even if you didn’t let your emotions take the better of you, he could sense your nervousness after that comment. He was taken aback but didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by mentioning the topic. It also gave him a sense of satisfaction. He had to admit he was happy you thought about him like that. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but the weird feeling that had taken its place in his heart from the first time you joined this crew was growing stronger each passing day.

Zoro had tried to deny his emotions for a long time. But two years apart made him realize there was no point in that. The times he would catch himself thinking about you, missing you in a different way than the rest of the crew. The way his heart clenched when he saw you again. How different, even more beautiful, you were but also how it was like no time had passed when you wrapped your hands around him in glee that you were with him again. It made him see there was no denying the devotion he had for you. Yet, he didn’t want to smother you over it, making you feel awkward for not reciprocating his feelings.

But your compliment made him doubt his decision. He recounted the times he had caught you staring at him, only to turn your head away in embarrassment. Or how you always leaned on him when you were tipsy, giggling against his shoulder. And how he always held you close in those moments. What if you actually felt the same? What if you actually saw him the way he saw you, and you were afraid of the same thing he was. Rejection. Zoro was never the man that cared about people accepting him or not. But it felt different with you. A stupid need wanted you to accept him in a certain way. The way two lovers got together in those novels Robin was reading about in her spare time. Love is a strong word, but he couldn’t find a better one for his feelings.

All these thoughts were swirling in his head as he nursed his bottle of sake while keeping watch in the crow’s nest until he heard the hatch opening. And as if some divine power was watching over him, you came into the room, closing the hatch behind you.

“Knew I’d find you here.”

“I’m keeping watch, so I don’t know where else I could be.”

You both chuckled as you made your way to stand next to him, leaning on the railing.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Something like that, yeah. I’ve been tossing and turning for the past hour.”

Zoro said nothing, instead offering you his bottle. You gingerly took it from his hand, your fingers brushing just for a second. You took a swig, looking out on the open sea. There was a full moon illuminating down on you, and no sound around you except the gentle waves against the hull of your ship. You stayed like that for a while, eyes on the vast ocean around you.

“You ever think about lost time?”

You turn your gaze in surprise when you heard him speak.

“What do you mean?”

“… Things you should have done but were late to do and you wasted time.”

“What are you thinking about?”

Zoro finally looked at you. You couldn’t read the gaze he had in his eyes but the hold he had on you would never allow you to look away.

“That two years have passed without seeing you and I still haven’t said that I thought of you every single day.”

“You… thought of me?”

You felt your heart clenching. Your eyes widen as you stared at him. Did he actually just say that? Zoro was never a man that played with his words, always blunt and straightforward. He scoffed lightheartedly, a small smile on his face at your shocked expression.

“Of course I did. And during that time, I also realized I wasted time wondering what you’d think of me while I could have spent it holding you in my arms.” He took a small pause. “I love you. I’m sorry.”

He turned his gaze to look at the sea once again while your now teary eyes were glued at him, hanging on the words that fell from his mouth, a wide smile forming on your face. It felt like a dream. A dream you regularly had in those two agonizing years you yearned to see him again.

“What are you sorry for?”

His eyes were on you again, reading your expression.

“I-”

“Do you have any idea how many times I wanted to just tell you? How much struggle it took to keep it all down?”

Your bodies were now thoughtlessly closing the distance between you, almost touching. Your hands grasped his shoulders softly while his traveled to your waist to hold you steadily in his chest.

“You should have.”

He leaned slightly, your foreheads touching. His gaze buried into yours, communicating all the feelings that both of you shared. Longing, reluctance, uncertainty and most of all, love.

“I don’t want to waste more time. May I kiss you?”

You gave him a toothy grin, a tear sliding down your face.

“Yes. Please.”

His hand cupped your cheek to wipe the tear away as his lips found yours in a sweet kiss that held no hesitation, all the unspoken words both of you hadn’t spoken in so long pouring into it. His other hand held your waist firmly against him while your lips moved in sync with a passion that couldn’t be described, as the moon shone down on you, the only witness to your link. After a moment you broke the kiss to catch your breath, smiling, his breath falling on your lips as he chuckled breathlessly, foreheads still against each other.

“You’re stuck with me now.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way, Zoro.”

[cheeseceli]

Helping you recover from a surgery

Pairing: ot7 BTS × Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: fluff, reactions

Request: BTS x s/o who had to have surgery and is trying to recover with their help

Warnings: mentions of food on Jin, Jimin and Taehyung's; body insecurities on Taehyung's; non sexual nudity on Jin's (barely there though)

A/n: low-key can be read as "they take care of their sick s/o" as well | daily click

Jin

‌You're literally not allowed to move a single finger

‌This man is ready to do everything and anything for you

‌Even the nurses feel a little bit useless when they see him because bro is really doing everything already😭

‌And with that I mean he's helping you move from a room to another if you need, he's giving you food, he's helping you shower and so much more

‌Really just wants you to rest for now

‌And he's so light-hearted while doing that

‌You'd never feel like a burden during this time because he never shows he's tired or stressed with the situation

‌He does everything with a smile and poor jokes, and you just know he's glad to be able to be there for you

Suga

‌The best one when it comes to making you distracted

‌Even if you can't do anything besides laying down on bed, you'll barely feel bored with him there

‌Always has the most out of pocket topic to talk about

‌You truly don't know how his mind works but you're most definitely not complaining

‌Also watches all the dramas you wanted to watch with him before but had no time back then

‌Will do his best to not be bothered by work things as he wants to be focused on you

‌Would even block his manager's contact if that helped💀

‌But if he truly needs to work (and with that I mean TRULY needs), he will do it when you're sleeping

‌If he's working on new songs, might even write a song for you during this time

J-hope

‌Bro was stressing when you were in the surgery😭

‌Talking with every doctor he could find and pacing around the hospital all the time

‌But when the time comes to talk to you after the whole process he just puts the biggest smile on his face

‌ He's honestly relieved to see you well

‌The good thing is that meanwhile he was panicking outside, he was also studying about what he should do once the surgery ended

‌He is almost an especialist now

‌The doctors are trying to give him advice and then he's like "oh yeah I know that, but you didn't mention this"

‌He's lecturing the doctors now

‌Summing up, you are in very good hands, don't you worry

Namjoon

‌He is kinda scared of messing up tbh

‌I see it as in a scenario where you haven't even got sick on the relationship yet, so a surgery is a big change

‌Of course, he wants to take care of you

‌And he will do his absolute best to help you

‌But he's kinda scared of making you feel useless as you really need to rest

‌And he'd hate to end up patronising you a bit or something like this

‌So he ends up helping you mostly in subtle ways

‌Where things are still done for you but not too noticeable, so you wouldn't feel like you're burdening him or something

‌And he would also take a break from work

‌No matter if the company is knocking on his door, he has his priorities set straight

Jimin

‌You were still under the effect of anesthesia when you woke up, so you were a little confused as to why your room was full of things

‌Turns out Jimin got a little bit too excited when buying you gifts

‌So now you had a lot of your favourite sweets, a lot of different flowers, some teddy bears and God knows what more

‌He got a little embarrassed later but at least you liked it lmao

‌And he'll be sure that your favourite family members/friends got to visit you at least once

‌He'd be threatening your family so they would visit you lmao

‌If your relationship is public, he'd even show Armys comments wishing you a healthy and fast recovery

‌He's doing everything in his power to make you feel as loved as possible

Taehyung

‌Basically moves into the hospital

‌He's happily sleeping on the couch like that's where he lived his entire life

‌And when it's time to go back home, he's still with you

‌If you guys didn't live together back then, now you guys do

‌Either it's on his house or yours, he doesn't care, he is going to be glued to your hip

‌And although he doesn't like the fact that you are kinda ill because of the surgery, he loves to take care of you

‌He will cook for you, help you change clothes, will make your bed as cozy as possible, he's basically trying to make you feel like you're on a cloud all the time

‌After you're healed, if you are insecure of your new scars, he will most definitely reassure you of them

‌He still thinks you are beautiful, maybe even prettier now

‌The type to kiss your scars😔

Jungkook

‌Panics a little part 2

‌Like, he panicked once you told him you'd need to go through surgery

‌But after it I think he'd be alright

‌There was probably enough time for him to plan what he needed to do and to let the information sink in

‌He would try to make it as "playful" as possible

‌Doesn't want you to think of this as a problem, just something that happened

‌But the moment you complain about pain or something he's dialing his doctor

‌And he will do EVERYTHING for you and to you

‌Almost the same to Jin when it comes to wanting you to rest

‌Overall he is a bit lost but determined to make you feel as good as possible

Masterlist | you'll probably like: when you struggle to eat (read with caution)

Thank you for reading <3

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @butnotmontana @lelewright1234

Dividers by @saradika-graphics | images 1 2 3

[thatspanishwitch]

PICK A TILE READING!

What's coming up this December? ★ ☆

This reading is for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates leave what doesn't.

I'll be using The Labyrinth and The Wild Unknown Tarot decks, abreviated to L and WU for this post.

Pile I ---------- Pile II ---------- Pile III

Pile I

Beginning

L Tarot: 2 Cups RV

WU Tarot: Temperance & 2 Coins RV

The two of cups can talk about two things mainly, self love or a relationship (be it romantic or otherwise) in this case, and due to later cards, I'm inclined to think it's the first. At the beginning of this month you're going to have struggles with your own self worth and how it's tied to work and your own productivity, how much money you can get (2 Coins Reversed).

The 2 of Coins in its reversed state tells me you're overcommitted to what you deem as work, it's starting to eat at you, others might not notice yet but you know this. Mind you, work is there for a reason, pay your bills, do what you need to do, but also take time to relax, have in mind your production is not all you are.

The Temperance card does tell that you'll be able to balance yourself, maybe getting further into your own spirituality, maybe just taking time for self care after the hard work, it advises to practice balance and moderation.

Mid

L Tarot: Knight Swords RV

WU Tarot: Son Cups RV & 4 Sword

The combination of the Knight of Sword reversed and the Son of Cups reversed points out how you'll likely start getting your motivation back, that you'll get a new idea that motivates you to continue moving forward, something that gives you energy and makes you happy. That being said you'll feel like something is holding you back.

Maybe you feel like you'll go back to the burn out state, maybe there's a rivalry in the background, someone who's actively, or not, telling you not to do this idea. While you shouldn't be doubting your intuition you should actively ask yourself what could you realistically lose from this endeavor.

In this time you should consider that question, relaxing and contemplating how to actually put into action that project, meditation comes to mind as a good idea. Take time to fully recharge while you plan ahead.

End

L Tarot: 2 Wands

WU Tarot: 5 Swords RV & Father Cups

Some news may come by the end of the month, tho what the two of wands most likely means in this reading is how you're continuing to plan this project, this time in a more concrete way. That being said, you're not ready to launch it just yet. There will be risks and I'm getting that you haven't planned for those yet or that you will be doing so in this time.

During this last part of the month you'll most deffinetly get into arguments, maybe it's someone from the past, but what's most likely is that it's someone that didn't notice you getting burnout and got upset at your previous inactivity to recover, this is a recent enough argument but a past one nontheless.

Both the Five of Swords reversed and the King of Cups however indicate that you need to resolve this, it's an argument that you're both fighting to win at the other's expense, or at least one of the parties is.

Embody the Kind of Cups and be the bigger person, don't let this get to you and choose diplomacy, it's for the better. An argument it's only an argument if two are fighting, remain stubborn on this if it's needed and don't give the other person any chance at thinking this is something that's going to continue, mend the bond and move on.

Bottom of the deck: Tower (Labyrinth) & 5 Coins RV (Wild Unknown)

Pile II

Beginning

L Tarot: 10 Wands RV

WU Tarot: Emperor & Hermit

The begging of this month may come with increased responsibilities you're not prepared for, although most likely it's an increase in number of things rather than difficulty. Maybe holding onto a burden that you don't need to, or those new responsibilities turning into that.

Most of you might be in a position of leadership within this situation, maybe you have your own business or are a manager of some sort. You shouldn't be scared to say no to this new "burdens" if you feel like you aren't able to meet the expectations.

Either way, you should be firm about it, embody the Emperor as best as you can and when in doubt follow your inner guidance, meditation is once again on my mind even if not as prominently as Pile I. The Hermit also points to this being a pivotal point in your life, a new direction being considered maybe.

Mid

L Tarot: 5 Swords

WU Tarot: 4 Swords & Father Coins RV

The previous situation may have ended badly, even if you won you both lost, maybe in your case there was the reputation from taking it all and finally saying no. There's a sense that there will be bad blood, the 5 of Swords indicates that you should search for a common ground to mend this relationship.

All this will leave you exhausted and you might get a cold or something of the like, nothing worrisome, just stress catching up to you. You are encouraged to rest in this time and to contemplate the previous situation, specially because of the Father of Coins Reversed apearing.

Don't obsess with what could have been monetarily nor with your wealth, don't fall into the Father of Coins in it's reversed energy, I'm unsure why but gambling comes to mind, so if you do have an issue with it don't fall into that.

End

L Tarot: Strength

WU Tarot: High Priestess RV & Star

The end of your month cards tell you to be strong and have courage in front of this adversities, you might fall into a bad state of mind in which you'll be disconnected from your intuition if you don't stay strong.

The Star however, being the last card of the reading, does tell of an optimistic outcome, that you'll be able to get through it all as difficult as it may be.

There may be new possibilities opening in that near future of inspiration might come down on you in this trying times, end of the day, you'll still shine in the sky.

Bottom of the deck: 5 Cups RV (Labyrinth) & Temperance (Wild Unknown)

Pile III

Beginning

L Tarot: 6 Coins RV

WU Tarot: Daughter Swords & 5 Wands

This pile has an emphasis on charity work, be it emotional or monetary, but having in account the fact that the 6 of Coins comes up again in the middle of the month it's probably monetary.

All this is said because you'll find yourself in a spot in which you'll have to stop doing this charity work, self care is a message that I'm getting along with investigating new ideas, maybe buying yourself a new book that you have been wanting.

This however will not be well received, people who feel entitled to your donations will make comments, that as much as you both have a common goal there is opposition. This is likely due to that entitlement or them not having a good balance in their life with this aspect, which you'll be trying to achieve.

Mid

L Tarot: 2 Swords RV

WU Tarot: 6 Coins & 2 Coins RV

The previous conflict will make you feel like you're trapped between the sword and the wall, thinking that there's no fully good option in which direction to take. Probably it'll be indecisiveness over continuing charity or not.

In this reading I do get that you'll go back to charity and that, while fruitful as always, this time people will try to scam you out of your generosity.

The Two of Coins reversed talks of not only over commitment to compensate for your "time lost" but also a fake ness and manipulation of a certain situation, whether it's coming from you is unclear but as previously stated it's probably from those who were telling you to continue donating.

End

L Tarot: Page Coins RV

WU Tarot: Ace Swords & The Lovers

This will all culminate in a loss of money and a lack of progress and even steps backwards, you may want to conduct your work in a different manner, brainstorming new ideas but nothing more at the beginning.

Eventually the cards do tell of a breakthrough with the Ace of Swords, you may want to keep your cards close to your chest until you've fully realized your plan tho. Surely, seek for council if needed, but don't listen to the chatter in the background.

All in all you'll come to a decision, two paths clearly laid out, maybe a partnership of some sort will come up too, but i think that the Lovers here is more of an indication of this decision.

Bottom of the deck: Fool RV (Labyrinth) & Mother Cups (Wild Unknown)

Separators are mine

Tiles are from Pinterest 1 - 2 - 3

If you have any constructive criticism feel free to comment on it

[mediocreanomaly]

i'm so normal. can i request a part 2 to the knives/reader soulmate au? im just so curious how it'd go, hdjdjnd

Authors Note: Non-Normal Knives kisser spotted.

Kidding! yes of course I shall make you a pt.2 (guys am I the Trigun Soulmate guy now? I'm not complaining it's just a bit funny to me, let me infect you with Trigun soulmate au now...)

*Not NSFW but a slightly "spicy" scene at the end (jesus I'm old do people still say spicy unironically? guys I mean it ironically I swear-)*

Read Part 1 Here!

Knives X Reader Soulmate AU Pt.2

•It's a painstaking process, both literally and metaphorically, as Knives recovers

•You feel awful. Your body vaguely burns everywhere, Knives is incapacitated, and the fact it's Legato who sits like a hawk watching over the two of you not yet trusting of your intentions doesn't exactly ease any of your stress

•It's a bit tedious dodging the blue haired mans constant questioning not quite ready to say "hey you know the most feared man in all of Gunsmoke who hates the idea of soulmates is actually my soulmate?" yeah sounds awful.

•So you sit dutifully day and night rewrapping wounds and running your fingers through Knives's hair appreciating that he at least seems to heal much quicker than humans do so hopefully this aching burn will subside quickly

•When he finally wakes up it's, of course, the one time you leave the room to go get something to eat. You almost imagine the dammed plant planned this even though you know it's not the case

•You stand in the door way...saying nothing. The two of you had become close before, was close the right word? but now you felt awkward and out of place watching Knives' cold blue eyes stare a hole into you

"Legato says you haven't left my side" he says, it's more of a statement than a question but you'll bite

"Yes." You say simply, not making a move as if dealing with a wild animal that's ready to pounce

"Why?" He's searching you as if looking for something or...no he's watching you like he's waiting to catch you in a lie

"I think you already know" Is all you can manage. You stay still, waiting for sharpness of metal, you just hope it'll be quick. You weren't stupid, you knew Knives didn't want a soulmate, so there wasn't much to do than to accept the fate the universe had laid out for you. You close you eyes and wait....and wait....and- wasn't he going to kill you?

You peek your eyes open to see Knives watching you with a furrowed brow. You have to admit he looks oddly cute like this despite the fact your life is most certainly in danger.

He stares, as if perplexed by you then scoffs

"This is ridiculous. I'd never be bound to a human like you" he states, you just nod not sure what to do until he sits up straight in bed

"Come, inform me of what's happened while I was asleep"

You aren't stupid enough to try and push the matter or point out the fact he was a little worse off than "asleep" so you just sit on the side of the bed with him, giving him what little information you know.

•After that he begins to talk about his new plans. You listen intently, letting him ramble on about this new era he's planning to usher in

•and if he begins to stray from the topic, if he begins to go on about the Ja'lai incident, or about how he really thought Vash would understand...don't bring any attention to it, your slowly beginning to understand there's a reason he trust you with these things even if he won't say it out loud

•Speaking of which...he won't say anything about the "soulmate" matter out loud. Not now anyways, not yet. He's not sure why but...he can't bring himself to kill you and it scares him. He isn't used to sparing lives besides his brothers and even then his forms of punishment are a lot more severe than what he's willing to do to you

•Not that he didn't contemplate taking a limb or letting you see how sharp his knives can really be but there'd be no point really he'd only be hurting himself (at least that's what he tells himself)

•He's also...a bit protective of you now. Even though he still refuses to say to anyone, including you, that you're his soulmate he does make vague mentions of it when you try to leave and he says something along the lines of

"No you can't leave. If you were to get hurt it'd be inefficient for me"

•(aw he likes you!)

•He begrudgingly lets you begin working again because there was a reason he allowed you to stay with his team in the first place, although if his hovering around your work place was bad before it's 10x worse now

•You are met with the sight of his chest every time you turn around and you have to shyly look up to the piercing gaze that's trained on you like a predator

•eventually you get him to back up a little bit by telling him if you spill any chemicals on him it'll just burn the both of you although he still stands in the corner watching your every move

•In all...don't expect him to be all lovely dovey...yet. Although...

You stand absent mindedly as you look over your work. This formula was driving you nuts and the constant feeling of being watched wasn't exactly helping. You lean down placing your hands on the table scanning over the papers messily sprawled over your desk when you feel a strong pair of hands at your hips.

It takes everything in you not to yelp, only for that feeling to turn into you trying not to moan when teeth nip at the shell of your ear. Knives body is pressed against your back, strong and solid, god you were either touch starved or the soulmate connection was doing wonders because he'd barley even touched you and you felt like you were unraveling. He pushes you forwards slightly forcing you to hold your most your weigh with your arms as you shudder. He's trapping you against the table, mouth trailing down to harshly nip along your throat, right hand running up your side and his left hand is moving to-

he pulls away.

You're breathless. You glance up at him, and if the amused smirk on his face is anything to go by, you look like just as much of a mess as you feel.

"I fixed your formula for you"

you glance down and sure enough...the numbers you had been mulling over all day had been fixed in the matter of...minutes? Seconds?

You watch dumbfounded as Knives strolls away as if nothing happened, even thought the blush painting your face and the bruises beginning to blossom against your neck are more than enough proof

•That's the thing, the universe never prepares you for your soulmate being an asshole. That's okay though, two can play at that game.

[final-girl96]

Ageless Secrets Chapter Thirteen

Joel

Joel stacked a few flat rocks on top of each other by the rivers edge. It was the only way he could honor Tess. Yn sat not far from him, sitting on the rocks, staring blankly at the water. She had fallen asleep in his arms, exhausted from all the crying and grieving was now going through. He knew she didn't mean what she said; about it being his fault that Tess was bitten and is now gone. He also knew she didn't hate him. She might hate him at the moment but she'll forgive him; she'll forgive Tess too. She'll recover…hopefully.

He walked over to her and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. “Come on, we got a five hour hike to Bill and Franks.” She didn't say anything and didn't make an attempt to move. “Yn, we need to go.” That got a reaction out of her. She shrugged his hand off her shoulder and stood up, turning to look at him.

“Don't fucking touch me. I know what you're thinking, Joel. As soon as we get to Frank and Bills you'll finally be rid of me; be rid of Ellie. Then you can go off to find your brother. Have you ever thought that maybe he's not answering you or trying to reach out because he's dead or maybe he just doesn't want to deal with you anymore.” She pushed past him and walked back towards where Ellie was waiting.

Joel's hands formed into fists, he clenched his jaw so tight he thought he was going to crack his teeth. He had to remind himself she was grieving the loss of her sister. He would be that same way if it had been Tommy. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled it before walking after her.

Yn

I felt guilty the second I said what I did to Joel. I shouldn't be taking my anger out on him. It wasn't his fault that Tess was infected. It could have happened to any of us. There have been countless times that I've almost gotten bitten only for Tess or Joel or Tommy saving me. I would like to say the person I was really mad at was Tess. Mad at her for getting herself into this shit and getting herself killed. But I'm not. I'm not mad at her or Joel or Tommy or even Ellie, no, I'm mad at myself.

I'm mad at myself for not talking her out of coming on this fucking trip. I'm mad that I pulled away from her. Mad that I didn't Spend more time with her. I'm mad that it wasn't me. She's all I had left and she's gone, of course I'm going to be pissed and everything and everyone. Even though I feel guilty for what I said to Joel, a part of me still thinks he's going to be happy to get rid of Ellie and I once we get to Frank and Bills.

As soon as Joel and I got back to where Ellie was waiting she stood up and started talking. “You want your jacket back?” She asked Joel, handing him his jacket. He took it from her and went over to his backpack. “I’ve never been in the woods. More bugs than I thought. Look, I’ve been thinking about…” Joel turned and looked at her, “I don’t want your sorries,” he said. I rolled my eyes and scoffed.

“I wasn’t gonna say I’m sorry,” Ellie snapped at him. “I was gonna say that I’ve been thinking about what happened. Nobody made you or yn or Tess take me. Nobody made you go along with this plan. You needed a truck battery or whatever, and you made a choice. So don’t blame me for something that isn’t my fault.”

“Nobody blames you, Ellie,” I told her, ignoring Joel's eyes bruning to me. “This wasn't your fault. It wasn't Joel's or mine. It was unfortunate. Like Tess said, our luck had to run out at some point.” Silence fell between the three of us for what felt like hours until Ellie broke it. “How much longer?” She asked. “Five-hour hike. We can manage that.” She nodded and grabbed her bag and put it on her back.

We walked for about two hours until we got to the road we needed to be on to get to Bill and Franks. It was mostly silent the whole way besides Ellie's attempt at whistling. “What the hell are you doing?” Joel asked her. “I'm trying to whistle,” she said and attempted it again. “You can't whistle?” I asked her. “No. I'm still trying to learn,” she said. I hummed, nodding my head, “They didn't teach you that in FEDRA school?” Joel asked. “Oh, ha ha ha.”

Another hour and we were getting closer and closer to our destination. “You’ve gone this way a lot? No Infected?” Ellie finally asked, breaking the silence. “Not often, no,” Joel answered.

“What are you looking out for?”

Joel sighed, “People.”

“Oh. Are Bill and Frank nice?” She asked, looking between Joel and I. “Frank is,” We said in unison. We walked a few more miles with Ellie asking questions the whole way. “How’d you get that scar on your head?”Joel side eyed her but didnt answer. “What? Is it something lame? Like you fell down the stairs or something?”

“I didn’t fall down any stairs,” Joel said, sighing in annoyance. “Okay, so what then?” She pressed. “Someone shot at me and missed.”

“See, that’s cool. You shoot back?” She asked. “Yeah.” Was Joel's simple answer. “You get him?”

“No, I missed, too. It happens more often than you think.”

“‘Cause you suck at shooting or, like, in general?” I couldn't help but let out a small laugh at how annoyed Joel was getting with all her questions. It was entertaining for me and took my mind off of what happened. “In general.”

“You know, seeing as it’s just the three of us, I was thinking I should pro…” Joel cut her off, “No.” I shook my head too agree with Joel, “Definitely no.”

Finally Cumberland Farms, a place we would stash stuff and where Joel would meet Bill sometimes, came into view. “Hang back a minute. I gotta grab some stuff I stashed.” Joel started walking towards the doors with Ellie hot on his heels. “Stashed? Why do you have stuff stashed here?” She asked. “You ask a lot of goddamn questions,” he said to her, huffing out a sigh. “Yes, I do.”

I hung back and let Ellie follow Joel inside. “So, are you gonna answer me or what?” I heard her ask and the heavy sigh of Joel. “We hide supplies on routes in case we find ourselves short on gear, which I currently am ’cause…” He was cut off and I saw Ellie over at the video game.

“No way! You ever play this one? I had a friend who knew everything about this game. There’s this one character named Mileena who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth, and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones!” She said excitedly. “That's pretty cool. I used to like going to the arcade when I was your age. Pacman and Donkey Kong were the ones I liked playing the most.” I stood there leaning against the door frame listening to Ellie talk more about the game until she looked over at Joel.

“Ah. Oh, man. You forgot where you put your stuff,” She said. Joel didn't look up at her, just kept trying to find where he stashed the shit. “No. I’m just zeroing in on it. It’s been a couple of years.” He would never admit to anyone that he in fact did forget where it was hidden. “Okay, well, I’m gonna take a look around, see if there’s anything good.”

“Trust me, it’s all been picked over already,” he told her, still looking for the loose flooring. “Maybe, maybe not. Is there anything bad in here?” She asked. “Just you,” he retorted. “Ah. Getting funnier.” Ellie rolled her eyes and headed into the back.

“Fuck.”

There was some clunking coming from where Ellie was that caught Joel's attention, making him look up. “You alright back there?” He asked loudly. “Yep!”

“It's over there,” I said, pointing to where the loose floorboards were that we stashed shit in. He looked back at me and I raised my eyebrows at him. “I know that,” he said, going over to where I pointed. “Sure. Keep telling yourself that old man.” He scoffed at my jab and knelt down. “Old man. i'll show you old man,” he mumbled under his breath but I heard it.

I stayed by the door looking back every once in a while, keeping watch to make sure nobody snuck up on us. It was about five minutes with no sound from Ellie. “Ellie?” I called out, looking over at Joel when I didn't get an answer right away. “Ellie!” Joel yelled, standing up now with his gun slowly coming up to his shoulder. “Ellie?”

I jumped a little when she came out of the back room, “Picked over, my ass,” she said, holding a box of tampons up. I could see the heavy breath and went back to what he was doing. “What are you doing?” Ellie asked him as he put the rifle that he got off the guard in the hole with the other stuff. “There’s not much ammo out there for this thing. Makes it mostly useless,” he told her.

“Well, if you’re just gonna leave it there.”

“No,” Joel and I said in unison. Ellie rolled her eyes and we walked out of the store and headed on our way.

[gotta-pet-em-all]

(@wingsofachampion) What are human mobility aids like? -Tropius

HI HI HI OKAY SO THIS IS ACTUALLY AN INTEREST OF MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay okay i'm gonna be normal about this i am going to be soooo normal yeah no that's a lie i love this so much

so!!! first off we have canes. canes my absolute fucking beloved! you got wooden ones and metal ones, plus a smattering of funky materials, but it's mostly the first two. There are different types of handle, depending on what you use it for. Some people like decorative handles that are carved in the shape of pokemon! Here, I'll grab some fancy ones so you can see.

My first cane was a black aluminum folding cane, with a functional wooden grip somewhere in the derby range. It was adjustable for different heights, which is helpful because if you use mobility aids wrong, they can actually hurt you! It's designed specifically to alleviate the strain from certain areas of the body, and if it's not ergonomically sound, it will put unexpected strain on you.

If your cane is too short, it forces you to lean over, which throws your entire body alignment out of wack. If it's too tall, your elbow is forced to take on the extra strain, which is bad for it. Always get your cane properly fitted! You may need to adjust it if you're wearing shoes with any kind of heel.

Here's an example! This cane has a derby handle, is probably metal, and comes with a carrying case. I love the flowers on it! It's sort of a disabled community thing that a lot of us like to customize our mobility aids, because they're a part of us. When I dream, my cane is with me. Because I would feel naked without it, you know? It's part of me.

Another reason to customize your aids is to emphasize that your disability is permanent. You don't waste holographic stickers on something that you'll only be using for six months as you recover from an injury; it's a way of saying "I'm here and my condition is here to stay, and I'm making the most out of life." And I think that's extremely c-punk.

....i am realizing i'm running out of steam here. oops. i really really just love canes, but i promise there are other mobility aids!

There are forearm crutches! they require both hands, but they give more support than a cane, and on both sides! they're also arguably better than underarm crutches in the long term, but the trade off is that they take longer to use.

Sometimes, leg amputees will use these instead of a prosthetic! Prosthetics are cool and all, but they can chafe or put pressure on the stump, and sometimes they're just not worth it. A lot of amputees actually choose not to use a prosthetic because they manage just fine with the limbs they have, and that's fine!

Next category up is walkers and rollators, which admittedly I'm not as knowledgeable about? But I've seen people attach really cute quilted bags to theirs, and they're very good for long periods indoors.

Next up is wheelchairs-- oh gosh there is so much variation in wheelchairs. At the bottom tier is hospital wheelchairs, which are designed to be pushed by someone else, and then you've got self propelled chairs where the user pushes the wheels using their hands to move forward. and then there's electric wheelchairs, which are for people who don't have the physical strength/coordination/whatever to push themselves manually, and so they just steer!

There's a specific brand of sports made for people in wheelchairs! Like power soccer, or wheelchair basketball! Disabled people can be athletes, or just enjoy the fun of playing a sport for self improvement. There's even a guy I watch on Mewtube who does some pretty sick skateboarding tricks on his chair!

(Side note: I'm not usually a huge stickler for language? Like, I know people who have reclaimed the word cripple, and that's fine. I know people who say differently abled like it's a curse. However! Please note that "wheelchair user" is considered vastly preferable to "wheelchair bound." It's a mobility aid! it's freedom! It can be cool as hell!)

Anyways. Don't take my word as gospel, this is nowhere near comprehensive, but there you have it! my big old ramble on mobility aids! ehehehehehheh i love them so much, such a huge fan of technology invented to make people's lives easier. anyways ough i'm stimming so hard right now but also i am fresh out of spoons from this rant so gnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iamfruitie]

Kinktober 2024 Day 9

Toys - Darkmare

Dark and Mare sat on opposite ends of the table. Everything about the space looked like an average day in the home, and the only thing that was off was that they had strange-looking remotes in front of them on the table. They both had looks of determination on their faces but also a tint of red on their cheeks. They weren't embarrassed, just flushed from activities they performed moments ago.

"Still think you can outlast me?" Mare asked with a smirk, finger tracing the button on his remote.

"I have much more patience," Dark stated, picking up his remote.

"Patience has nothing to do with this, darling. It's all about keeping a cool head, something you can't keep when dealing with me." Mare's smirk grew, turning into a knowing one.

"I shall prove you wrong." Dark shifted in his seat and stiffened, letting out a low breath when the change caused something else to move.

"You'll just have to prove me wrong, won't you?" Mare chuckled. "Ready to start?"

"Ready." Dark nodded, and while watching the other, they both pressed the button on their remote.

Mare visibly shivered, leaning back into his seat while Dark bit his lip, the sounds of soft vibrations filling the air. There was a long pause as they tried to adjust to the toys inside them, and Mare managed to speak first.

"This is nothing."

"Don't give me ideas."

"What kind of ideas? Like the thought of you fucking me for your pleasure instead of having the vibrator in you?" Mare took full advantage of their 'allowed to tease' rule. He knew how to run his mouth a little too well, "Imagine having both. Filling me so full of your cock while having that full feeling of your own. Making me moan your name while trying not to cry out mine."

"Shit." Dark hated that Mare had been right about not having much patience when it came to him. He always knew the right buttons to push. Dark's response was to turn the vibrations up, and he chuckled with pride at hearing Mare's groan. His chuckle only lasted a moment as Mare matched him, and Dark was now groaning with him.

"Eye for an eye." Mare softly laughed, head falling back and holding the edge of the table with one hand, resisting the urge to roll his hips to chase the pleasure.

"Eye for an eye." Dark echoed, propping an elbow on the table and resting his forehead on his palm. He had to give Mare credit. The man was beyond creative with his ideas, and for once, Dark felt like he was on the losing end of this idea. He hated that. But he couldn't deny that it felt so good.

"Go on, Dark. Moan. Let it all out." Mare flicked a little switch on the side of the remote and was so weak for the way Dark's head slipped off his hand, and he moaned, the toy now pulsing alongside its vibrations. "Hit me." Mare braced himself for when Dark recovered just enough from the change to flick his switch. "Yes~" Mare moaned freely, nails digging into the wooden surface.

"Fucking-fuck." Dark gritted his teeth. How in the world did people last long while using these things?

"You're allowed to let go." Mare was enjoying his little moment of power a bit too much. "Come on, love, let's wrap this up so you can fuck me till I've forgotten my own name."

"Fuck~!" Dark cursed again, banging a fist on the table and tensing up. He grunted and groaned low in his throat, cumming in his slacks. Mare had mercy and enough brain cells to slowly turn the toy off.

"I win." Mare's brag came out a bit breathy, even more worked up after the view that was Dark making a mess in his pants. Dark didn't say anything yet and just turned up the vibrations for Mare. "Oh, shit~!" That alone was enough to get Mare to arch his back and was cumming as well. Dark let Mare ride that high a little longer than needed before turning off the toy.

"So, about me fucking you?" Dark asked with a grin.

"Let's see if you're better than the toy." Mare winked before snapping his fingers and sending the two of them away. 

[kogglyuffs]

it do be 1 am and i got nothing else to do, i posted this on twt so why not post it here, yeah, my first stej fic!!

"Agent of Clarity." (fic below the cut)

Processing data...

Executing memory file...

"Right. I confronted Fark, and I got killed at the end. I remember now. It's been a while since I felt like this. Since I remembered something... Wait, does this mean I am activated again?"

With the bat of an eye, Float awoke, laying on a large belt in a dark, abandoned building, seemingly an old factory, she saw a pile of robots parts scattered all around the place, and a huge monitor above.

"Where am I? Who activated me?" She wondered, but she realized something different about herself too

"Hold on, why am I touching the floor? And why am I so short?" she asked to herself, she glared at her hands and legs, they were no longer robotic at a single glare, more similar to a formie.

"Excellent. The body-building process and activation has been a success." A voice spoke from above, seemingly from the monitor.

"Eh? Who said that?" Float looked around, seeing nobody in the room, she crawled her way out of the belt, but fell on her knees, as she was barely capable of using her legs, "Ah, how do you use these?"

"Don't worry, soon you'll adapt to your new body." The voice spoke again, the monitor moved downward at Float's height. It turned on with the face of a girl with a bowtie, startling her.

"Greetings, Float. My name is Clarity."

"Eh!? Who are you? How do you know me?" Float blinked in perplexion

"Right. We haven't met since you were disconnected from the Internet in your previous body. However, my agent observed you and transmitted information to me, and thus, we're here."

"Really? So that's how I got back in here, after I..."

"You fought Fark?" Clarity interrupted

"Yeah!" Float replied, clutching her fists a bit, "It's a shame that I lost, though... But wait, why am I back here? Why do I have this new form, and...", she looked down a bit, seeing her chest having a weird shape, "What are these for?"

"Allow me to explain what happened since." Clarity avoided the question, "My agent has observed your fight with Fark, and it tried stopping Fark itself, but also failed. Fark is a powerful but dangerous entity, and I can't stop him myself due to my lack of physical form, as I am just a virtual AI. Since then, he took control of the internet and shut it down before I could stop him, and created the Fark Force."

Float tilted her head a bit, "So, what does that have to do with me?"

Clarity cleared her throat a bit, "The thing is, I could recover your data from your old body into this new one, which helps you blend more into the Formies, and I need your help to infiltrate into the Fark Force headquarters, that's the only way we can stop Fark's plans. Plus, you seem to have some… issues you want to solve with him, right?"

Float huffed, "Hm. Maybe... But, how am I supposed to do that? I never worked on my own... I had my.. agh.."

"Glad you asked, because you don't have to do that." Clarity replied, her screen switched into the image of a formie jester.

"Huh? Is that...?" Float leaned towards the screen

"Spark. He can help you out with your mission. He has the capacity to defeat Fark. You have to find him so you two can stop this mess!"

"Huh... Right..." Float hummed, "But that's all your plan? I mean, I do not work for free, y'know."

"I do not have any economical mediums to pay you with." Clarity said

"Hm? So why should I do this, then?"

"But I assure you there's a chance to meet someone familiar…"

"Who?"

"…Maybe an old friend of yours."

The screen showed a picture of Flint, Float gasped and crawled towards the screen

"Flint! Flint! How could I forget!? Where is he? And Double? Where are they!?" Float asked as she shook the screen, Clarity retreated a bit

"Unfortunately, we couldn't do much for Double, as he failed to defeat Fark. Flint got to confront Fark, but managed to escape. However, he got indoctrinated into joining the Fark Force, and he believes you're dead."

Float shook her head, "No, nononono! This is bad, this can't be happening! My friends!!"

"This is why I brought you back, Float. You must find Flint and get to reason with him, go and stop the Fark Force, defeat Fark and you get your best friend back!"

A tense silence sat across the room, Float crossed her arms and legs as she took a deep breath, she stared straight at the screen.

"I accept." She nodded

"Excellent." Clarity replied

"But, where do I start? What will I exactly do in this mission?"

"The information of the mission is already implanted into your data, just follow the instructions as told."

"Right."

"Also, refrain yourself from mentioning me or the mission. You're there to get your friend back from the Fark Force, right? That's all."

"Why is that?"

"I have to stay undercover until the time is right, or else Fark will overcome it and it's going to be over for all of us."

"Hmmm."

"I wish you good luck in your mission, Float."

"Thanks." Float tried to stand up with wobbly legs, holding onto herself with a wall. "Well, I have yet to get used to this…"

"You'll adapt in no time, don't worry."

Clarity's screen got closer to Float's face, "Oh, and Float…"

"Yeah?"

"…Don't think you'll remember this conversation."

"What? What do you mean?"

…

Float left the factory, she only remembered waking up in a new body, with a mission assigned in her data, with strict instructions.

She must hurry up, her best friend has been indoctrinated into the Fark Force and he must be in danger!

But first, we have to find the electric jester….

[light-lanterne]

add a few details to your vivisection story, you say? 👀

hi ! hello !! thank you for the ask ~!! yeah, i completely forgot to mention some stuff because i got distracted and needed to prepare dinner for my family u.u

(again, random warning for detailed descriptions of gore, i guess)

for instance, i forgot to add a note on what the pressure on the "external hand" —the one applying pressure to prevent bleed out—felt like throughout the situation. or a note on how the blood rushing through the blood vessels feels when in close contact to them (ever grabbed a hose with running water ? it's something funny like that).

or what the heartbeat felt like for the "giver" during that last part, when he finally managed to reanimate the heart (i only focussed on the lung part),,, what sensation the diaphragm squeezing against his arm and pressing it towards the underside of the rigid sternum would cause,,, heck, i also wanted to mention a little buzz of electricity being felt when the heart conduction system reactivated !

(like a little zap, not unlike touching an old tv's screen; except, whenever that happens the typical reaction is to move your hand away and in this case, the hand is literally being squeezed against everything so it can't go anywhere and is forced to just take it.)

and of course, there were more details to mention on the "receiver"'s end of the story. i don't think his awareness level would allow them to fully recognise what was happening, but certain things could be mentioned, i think. like, during hypovolaemic shock, everything just feels cold to the sufferer, so there could be something about a warm thing inside his chest amidst the frost. this could also be expanded upon by mentioning the whole mouth-to-mouth thing and the really close proximity the situation would force the pair into (the "giver" would practically have to be on top of the other for all these things, which could also influence whatever hallucinations the "receiver" was having as he approached death :O )

or something about the contradicting reactions in blood pressure that the situation would elicit ! by definition, hypovolaemic shock leads to low blood pressure. then, heart resuscitation makes it go higher, much like the panic that would set in once he recovered awareness. but then, there is something wrapped around the heart so it can't distend fully + the hand is pressing against the baroreceptors in the heart so again, lower blood pressure.

(baroreceptors are little bundles of nerves that help regulate blood pressure across the body. there are some in the carotid sinus on the neck, which can be stimulated through a somewhat dangerous medical manoeuvre called "carotid massage", which typically makes the person feel faint. i imagine the same would happen if someone were to accidentally massage the baroreceptors in the heart so all in all, all these stimuli cause a weird feedback loop that'd leave the person feeling dizzy and loopy and just really funky)

not to mention all the build-up of what happened before the demogorgon even attacked them. in my mind, they were having a nasty fight not long before the attack so things were already very tense; then we add the adrenaline of running away and then the adrenaline rush of having to perform internal cardiac massage and we now have a very interesting set of feelings.

,,,so yeah, there are loads to add to the story that i either forgot about since i was trying to write something short, or that could be expanded upon to have a proper one-shot written (which i now want to do. only downside is that i'd have to pick who's who in this and i haven't figured that out, so i'll have to give this much more thought before getting anything done x.x )

anyway. got carried away again so i'll leave this here. thanks again for the ask, anon !! hope you have a lovely day / night ~ ^-^

(a semi-offering ? idk, you guys seemed to like the original story so maybe you'll like these additions too. apologies if this is annoying x.x @boycattj, @rotisseries, @cosmobrain00, @conanssummerchild, @karenchildress, @foodiewithdahoodie, @fluffyfangirl.)

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #190

I got a call this morning to confirm tomorrow's appointment with the oral surgeon. As it turns out, tomorrow's appointment is just the consult, and NOT the appointment where my teeth get yanked. They're just gonna talk about the anesthesia and the risks and the whatnot, I guess, and so I've been stressing over nothing.

Thank goodness. I really didn't wanna have to deal with recovering from that while also processing a major life change. That would have really sucked, and though I would have weathered it, I'm still really glad I don't have to.

Today was orientation for the new job. I was there with two other orientees, the hiring manager, and some guy. It was never explained who the guy was, but he was friendly enough nonetheless. The hiring manager spoke on various things, and then we were moved immediately to video training on the computer. I was shocked and amused to discover that a tech company I used to work for made some of the training modules for this new place.

…Seriously, I'm glad that I'm not gonna be getting into another tech job. While I am skilled with bending machines to my will, I am not skilled at dealing with the pettiness of office politics, the nuances of neurotypical (mis)communication, or people who get angry because they've set unreasonable deadlines or unreasonable expectations for what they want a certain piece of software to do. Things would be a lot easier if people didn't think that computers are magical mystery miracle boxes that can do any fantastical thing. Things would be a lot easier if people simply said what they meant and meant what they said. But insincerity and lies abound in my world, as does ignorance and ill-advised expectations borne from said ignorance, and don't even get me started on the sexism and all the people who think that folks who look like me don't belong there.

…Sigh… I digress…

Suppose really I'm just tired. I was at the place doing things from around 10:30am until around 4pm, and I didn't have a chance to get anything to eat or drink during that span of time. My head hurts and I'm cranky, but I did eat and I did drink about 16oz of water, and I have tea brewing as we speak. It's just gonna take a hot minute for my blood sugar and hydration levels to return to normal; I'll be all right.

On the bright side, my team lead seems delightful and friendly. I'm looking forward to getting to know him as time goes on. I hope I'll be able to exceed the expectations before me. It seems daunting at least for now, but it might just seem that way only because it's unfamiliar. I am not good at being bad at things, because I have a long history of being viciously punished for being bad at things, but you know... I'm not gonna get better at being bad at things unless I bite the bullet and put myself in positions in which I'm gonna be bad at things. That's how it works. That's how it goes.

The tea has since brewed. I'll show you today's swirls; they're not the bestest, but they're also not half bad…

...I feel a little better. Some time for the contents of my stomach to make it into my bloodstream seems to have done the trick.

I thought about continuing to design a house. But I know that if I do that, I'm going to probably apply too much pressure to myself to make something perfect, and then I'll end up in a really weird state of mind. So I guess instead I'll play some Dead Cells; I'm feeling a little lonely for reasons I don't really understand, so I guess I'll put it on the internet. Maybe someone will come chill out with me online while I play. Maybe if I get impossibly lucky someday, I'll see you there, too:

...Hey Sephiroth? If by some incredible miracle, someday you wind up in my neighborhood, do you wanna play a video game with me sometime? We can start with something simple at first so you can get the hang of it; maybe you'd like Yoshi's Island. But I suspect you'll learn quickly and be able to play things that require more skill without much effort. You are smart and coordinated, after all.

Hey. Stay safe out there, all right? Because I love you, and someday I'm hoping to see a version of you who is safe, healed, and happy. Please make kind and gentle choices in service to working towards that normal life you wanted, okay?

...And if you need help adjusting, my doors are open. We of my house can help you. You can have a place here. Don't do like Rosen and say that you don't have it in you; I know that you do. I know you can belong. You have not yet met all of the people in either your world or my world who will be more than capable of loving you exactly as you are, so... please... Sephiroth... please don't give up. Not while there are so many people cheering you on. Not while there are so many people with their hands and their hearts outstretched to you. Please.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

Sooooo your saying everyone else is okay? I figure the inmates would be mad about it.

@demon-blood-youths & @chunibyo-x-sorcerer

"As I said, everyone will be fine. I mean, if I would say Warden Henderson might make it two or three weeks." he said that some of the officers look at him.

"Are you crazy? You know we still have our job. You have your inmate -232 to watch over. Sid isn't it-"

"Hey! I can handle her. She's smart I'll admit but I am fine." Chuya relaxed like nothing was wrong though Willie shook his head thinking he was still stupid.

"You really don't think much do you?" Chuya's eye twitched hearing Officer Gin speak to mess with him.

"Oh shut up!"

"Guys...enough..." Rex said seeing them stop. "And besides, right now we are on break so stop. -_-" Rex warns but saw his own team checking on their own inmates right now. He knew Winter, Summer, Fall, and Spring were fine. They were tough women so it's fine.

"Anyway, where is Ryu? Is he back?" Gin asked.

"Not yet. He just went to check on his inmate. Same with some others. I think the others are or will be coming back after giving their food and checking on them." Rex explains.

"And to that Anon, we are fine. So if you have any other questions you should leave." Rex warns. For now, he with some others are still recovering from their breaks right now. Though, he was thinking about it.

~~~~~~~

"What the FUCK do you mean privacy time? What the hell is that old man thinking!?" Rex didn't wince hearing Kali angry in her cell but she only grips the bars to look at him.

"As I said Kali, it's to insure you along with your fellow demon inmates behave themselves so he suggested this idea." he said in a calm tone even if Kali was furious right now.

".....I see....even so, that's-"

"I know. Just think about it. AT least you'll be able to have some peace and quiet. Didn't you tell me at first you were annoyed seeing my face so it will do good I guess. You won't see me here standing guard over you all the time for the week.." he said but she said nothing glaring at him.

"......Your fucking lucky your a hot bastard you know."

"...Likewise." he said about to turn and leave but he felt her grab his wrist to stop him. He didn't look at her but Kali didn't let go.

"And what makes you think you'll be able to hold back either? Your also in the same position. Meaning..you and I can't ease our....needs." she said.

"...I can manage Kali and I know you can too." he said to turn and face her but she glares to grip his shirt of the uniform to look at him. He was pressed against the cell door almost close for her to kiss him but he said nothing.

"Inmate-"

"Oh come on....you really think this will stop me? You know this is something stupid...even when he set this rule. The demons in this prison won't be quiet...you know that...what's going to stop them or us from getting what we want? We have that need to be itched..just...like..you."

"...."

"And I know..you'll miss it...you'll miss me. So why don't you ignore that stupid rule..and get in here so we can play." she speaks in a dark tone about to kiss him but Rex grabs her wrists to see her tense.

"Kali...Listen to me. You know I have my orders and it's against rules for inmates and officers to do that. Even when you say that I'm still following orders. So I suggest you follow yours.." he warns but Kali said nothing only to look at him.

"...now your being mean. You can't ignore what we have Rex...don't you even like it? I know I did....and I been itching to at least get some attention.." she growls even if Rex keeps her still.

"Knowing you that's true but again, you are to obey orders and behave yourself.." he said once more. However, she looks away to see him let her go.

"I'll still check on you from time to time and if ordered, i'll either have to move you or keep a eye on you if I'm told. Now...just enjoy your break Kali...and behave." he said turning to leave but Kali watches him go. She only looks then ahead seeing some other inmates in the area too. Damn this was going to be a pain in the ass. And she was hoping for them to play today.

"Damn old bastard.." she hissed.

~~~~~~~~~

"......" Rex hopes Kali will behave herself. Along with the others too.

[shenzaibird-art]

Here's some general lore that applies to all of my settings because I was randomly inspired to actually write up lore for once haha I've been calling these collectively "the forces of magic ability". All of them are things that everybody has, but you need to learn to use them and practice to actually make any magic. It ended up being a lot of text so I guess I'll put it under a readmore thingy:

[Now, I kinda just came up with the new words yesterday so I might still decide I don't like them and change them (and/or those symbols) but so far I'm liking this so I decided to post. These concepts aren't new, I just had never talked about them because I didn't have names for them (other than magis, I think I've already talked about that a lot but I'll say it again anyway)]

MAGIS is the magical energy that powers every spell and any magic craft. It flows inside your body, swirling around tiny organs called "magis nodes," located in the head, heart, hands, feet, and tail. Magis is used up when casting spells or channeling it into workyns ("spell blueprints"), but it regenerates. However, if you use all of your magis more quickly than you can regenerate, you will pass out. You can't die from lack of magis, but it's not nice and your magis nodes might become a bit sore for a while as you recover.

VOLIS is the ability to control the magis. It comes from "volition", as it's the power of one's will, so to speak. It's similar to thoughts, you "think" of the spell you want to cast, and so you cast it. But it's a separate kind of thinking, more akin to moving your body. It's not a fully conscious thinking exactly, so you won't cast the wrong spell just because you thought of something else for a second. Volis not only controls the magis at the moment of casting a spell, but also any further actions that a spell can have, such as the movement of a conjured creature. How many spells a person can keep up at once will depend on how well trained they are at using and managing their volis.

PERCIS is the ability to perceive magis and magic crafts. Spells are crafted as small tokens, but they don't really need to be labeled because percis allows you to tell them apart by just having them nearby. A magician with several spells in their pockets knows exactly what each of them is without having to check on them. But of course, you can only identify a spell if you have knowledge of what it's like. Percis is a sense, much like seeing or hearing -- if you know what a dog is, you'll know it when you see one, and a similar principle applies to sensing a spell through your percis. Even if you never encountered a particular spell, you might know how to partially identify it if you know its type. For example, you will know a dog is a dog even if you can't tell what breed it is. But percis can be used for more than just telling spells apart. By having keen enough percis, one can learn to recognize someone by their unique magis and notice their presence before even seeing or hearing them (although this is a very rare skill because most people don't give too much importance to fine tuning their percis for anything beyond telling spells apart really). There's a limit of how many spells you can have on yourself without overloading your senses however, which is why most people carry only a few essential spells around. These explanations turned out far longer than I expected.

[siriannatan]

Short Convex Drabble

One can not fight the urge to write some Convex when it arrives. It can be delayed with games but it'll be there until a thing is made so here we are.

If Scar had to describe how he felt when he was rudely woken up by what felt like a mild electric shock he'd say - 'like I've just been hit by a truck'. And he'd know how that felt. Being a hero he got hit by a few in his career. Said career was also why he was suddenly very much worried. The last thing he remembered was fighting a rather dangerous villain. So against every fibre of him hurting and telling him to carry on resting Scar opened his eyes with a groan. When was the last time he felt so...

Sudden click of shoes on the polished concrete floor of what looked like lab Scar was. It had him in even more pain as he tried to look for the source of it far too quickly. "Awake already? As expected of a top-rated hero," an amused chuckle had Scar's head spinning even more as he tried to focus. 

Even with how blurry his vision was at the moment and with no amount of blinking helping he could recognise the light blue blinking of the sculk. A mysterious technological infection. A physical virus overtaking electronics at unheard-of speeds and with no way back. It looked like it was all over the lab. Over the blurry walls. Over what looked like some sort of control panels. Scar wasn't all that knowledgeable about technology but he understood that it did not spell anything good for him. Especially if he was as connected to the covered in the twinkling shades of blue and green tech-mould as he felt he was.

He could also see a blurry figure. Checking something by the panels. Their hair looked to be long, tied in either a ponytail or a braid, dark. And they wore what looked like a white lab coat. As Scar's vision slowly recovered he recognised the white coat the assumed villain responsible for the sculk wore a white lab coat. And where it slid off their shoulder there was a patch of sculk twinkling almost in synch with the stranger's heartbeat.

"No need to overthink things, mister hero," the stranger chuckled. Now that Scar's brain was less scrambled it sounded eerily familiar. And far too human for what everyone assumed was behind the infection. And something in the way they moved was even more eerily familiar. Almost like... He could not bring up the memory.

He knew it was familiar. He knew it from somewhere, someone. But where or who? That felt like it was behind a thick wall of fog. Like something really didn't want him to remember.

"What are you doing to my head?" Scar managed to croak out. His head felt so damn heavy. "Modifying my memories..."

"I'm actually doing the opposite of that, there's this chip in your brain, meant to stop you from turning against the government," the stranger explained - certainly lying - and turned around. And another wave of that creepy familiarity hit Scar. Where did he knew this handsome, dark-haired scientist? Where... "Feeling like you forgot something important?" he hummed and an eerily blue screen of sculk formed by him. Scar guessed it was so the villain could keep an eye on him. But he was kind of right. Scar did feel like he forgot something important. "Don't worry Scar, just a little second and it'll be all back."

"What all? Where did you learn that name?" Scar tried to struggle as a wave of tiredness started to hit him strong.

"You'll remember in just a second," the man... Cub, some sleepy part of Scar's mind supplied, smiled flatly as Scar failed the fight against whatever was happening. "Just a little moment and you'll be free..." was the last words Scar heard.

[hearthandheathenry]

Hmm, it's not really a big thing, but I think I like writing, but my language is not really advanced, but I have good ideas… I like solving psychological problems and solving puzzles, even though I'm not that good… I like singing… I like cooking sometimes… not a lot, but I think These hobbies have nothing to do with the major I may pursue at university.

These are all great things you can incorporate into helping people or making a difference!

With writing, you can idea-pitch, write inspiring stories, or write articles or blogs about bringing attention to something or a cause. Maybe you want to spread awareness about something or educate others. Take my blog posts about cost-savings with groceries for example, I had an issue with how to save money while eating healthy and I researched and shared my findings to try to help others. Or maybe you just want to write fun novels that others may find comfort in while connecting to your story or characters. Maybe you like poetry and you'll move people with your words and express things they cannot.

Singing is also wonderful! Maybe you can create your own music or collaborate with other artists. There's many who have inspiring works where they can express deep emotions or other things while singing and songwriting.

Perhaps your love of cooking will blossom and you'll learn ways to help people via food. Maybe it'll be meal-planning for the elderly, working in a soup kitchen, or simply finding ways to feed your loved ones. Like because of my continued learning with cooking and my grocery savings, Ive started bringing food to my elderly aunt while she was recovering from back surgery. It helped her tremendously and I felt good that she could eat well and healthy while recovering.

Maybe instead of focusing on the job your major will bring you, focus on the skills you're learning at university. I learned a lot of psychology, nursing, science, and writing while I was at school, I learned how to collaborate with others and manage projects. Those are all skills I use in my career and everyday life, even though I don't have an official degree. So check out those skills your learning and honing to help think of more possible future routes, rather than trying to narrow it down to one specific job/career. Like I know my skillset and what im interested in falls in the customer service industry mixed with animals. So jobs that fill those two roles tend to be enjoyable to me and it leaves the door open to new opportunities and roles I wouldn't have thought to go to. Whats meant to be will always find a way, and things that are meant to be will happen so coincidentally that its funny. You'll literally look back and laugh at how things worked out. We never know where we're at in our journey, but we always end up finding our way in the end. Thats why hindsight is 2020 and why people continually progress even if they felt like they havent. The universe is always working to align you with where youre meant to be at any given time. So just do your best to steer your journey day by day by making small choices that feel right to you in the moment. Learn to trust your intuition and instincts.

[artemissaggezza]

To my Darling Tumblrinas. Friends, foes, and frenemies alike,

I reach out to you now to do one of the hardest and most terrifying things I have ever done: ask for help. Doing so has never been easy for me (if I explained all the reasons why I could literally write you a TLDR dissertation 😂).

Right now, my wife (@starlghtstarbrite) and I need it more than we ever have. Life is hard for everyone. It has been hard for us too. But she and I have always found a way through. We have survived so much together.

We managed to leave an abusive situation (albeit with a stab wound, nerve damage, concussions and horrible cases of PTSD). The physical trauma from this has left permanent scars for both me and my wife. Every day since then I have lived in severe, sometimes incapacitating pain. Being 12 years sober (😁) this is really hard to manage. My wife has nerve damage she will never recover from and phantom pain on a daily basis. I don't even know how much debt we're in because of this. Honestly, we are both terrified to check.

Beyond the physical shit, the emotional trauma from this has led to at least $10,000 in mental health treatment. Sometimes it was just therapy. But most of the time it was specialized treatment for Bipolar disorder, PTSD, and atypical anorexia leading me to be away from home and out of work for months at a time.

I started treatment for my eating disorder (for the 5th time) a year ago at this time. While I was in treatment my wife lost her job after the company realized they didn't need to pay someone to do her job when AI could do it for free. Bullshit, right?

If you can believe it, I lost my job in the beginning of December for even shittier reasons. Background: I used to work for the largest academic/licensure examination company in the world. I will probably get in trouble if I say their actual name, so I'll give you a hint. If you have ever needed to get licensed for your job, you'll know them as the intimidating people who watch you while you take exams and do "security checks" that make you feel like you're being arrested. For any students out there, they're probably the publisher of some of your most expensive text books and study guides. It rhymes with "ShmEARSON" 😂.

I literally got fired for accidentally LETTING A TOOTHPICK into the testing room. I was accused of "intentionally defying" my boss's "orders" by not following protocol exactly (this was after my male coworker had been accused of sexual harassment four times and still had a job).

Because of this, my wife and I are facing eviction in three days. And have nowhere to go. My parents are emotionally abusive and my wife's mother still introduces me as her "roommate". We've been living off of black beans and rice for a month because we don't have money for food. Nevermind our meds, that even with insurance (which I no longer have) cost hundreds of dollars a month.

Over the years we have struggled and been dealt a lot of bad hands of poker. But we've always managed to bluff our way out of it. We put our faith in each other and pretend there is a light at the end of the endless tunnel, at the top of the bottomless pit. Every now and then we've even been able to run two damp sticks together and make our own light.

But this time our bluff has been called. We've run out of sticks to rub together. Without help and support we won't be able to light the torch that leads us through the abyss and into hope.

So, here I am. Embracing vulnerability and asking for help. I know times are tough all around. So even knowing that my story has been read and validated is a great comfort to me.

If you're moved by our story, relate to it, or see yourself in it and would like to help out my CashApp is below.

I would also like to offer you the chance to get something in return, if you want. I have a lot of random skills I'm more than willing to offer.

I'm an artist (think Jackson Pollock style), an academic writer (specialization: psychology, criminal justice, sociology, statistical analysis and all the associated citation styles), an editor/proofreader, and a poet. Among a host of other bizarre things lol.

I know this was long AF and I do apologize. Mostly though, if you had the drive, compassion and attention span to get all the way down here I AM DAMN IMPRESSED. And more grateful than you could ever imagine.

Thank you, each and every one of you. For hearing my words and seeing me.

CashApp: $ArtemisSaggezza