#but also i even left my tablet at my dads cause i was like well i'll be quilting not drawing i dont need that
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muirneach · 2 years ago
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at my mom's for the week so i cut fabric for three quilt blocks to sew while i'm here and so far 2/3 of these bundles are wrong and fucked. all wrong amounts of each fabric 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i dont even wanna look at the last one out of fear it's fucked too. and i can't go back to my dad's where all my fabric is for a whole week!! not good for the quilting frenzy mindset i've been on since last week
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kawaiianimeredhead · 2 months ago
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I kno I can say no to people, including my parent, but it has been so ingrained in me that unless I am litterally in the middle of something or about to be that I'm doing nothing and therefore should be able to do whatever thing in that moment- usually involving driving somewhat to get someone or take them somewhere or help my parents with some shit that could google but don't even attempt to
And I feel so tired today
#my parents yesterday needed their printer ink changed ans i went out to lunch with dad#so like sure why not go do that and then the printer got pissy because? i don't know some bullshit so i had to sort that out#then today my parents wanted a ride to a bar they go to#sure fine simple enough didn't even change out of my pjs bottoms#but also dad needed some all downloaded on his tablet and needed that set up#and they needed a ride home after the bar#but they want me to go inside see some people specifically one who's moving soon#sure I'll change into clothes#then halie needs a pick up from work#well im already not home so like sure#it's not on the way but like I'm in the car so whatever#but im early because i finished with my parents and wasn't going home just to get back up#oh and she needs to go to Walmart sure whatever maybe I'll buy pokemon cards#and its just been that ever since i got my damn license#well not all with halie but my parents and other things#ugh#I've started telling halie i cant occasionally#but then fell bad when she comes home late cause whoever she got for a ride couldn't come earlier#and uber abs lyft aren't very reliable or quick here#she said she waited an hour yesterday for them before she finally found a family friend(?) who could take her home#and all thevwhile at my parents im told that when they leave for their trip *I* have to take the dogs to the kennel#cause they didnt have a day open before they left#and then *I* have to oick them up days before they get home cause thats the time they had open#and like yeah ok whatever sure i guess i have nothing going on fine whateever#tag rambles#dont mind me
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redrydersrequiem · 1 year ago
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A different tune
An Ouran high school host club fan-fiction. This is another story ive thought of off and on forever so im finaly getting it down. It will turn into a kyoya x reader fic cause hes my favorite and i feel he doesn’t get enough love. Once again I’m a baby fanfic writer and this is not proffed or anything
Part 1
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Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here, at the elite private school Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys, with too much time on their hands, entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy’s elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful.
It’s a seemingly quiet winter day in the third music room. No events planned and only a few straggling guests left, finishing they’re refreshments and making small talk. All the host members relax in the surrounding chairs and sofas all idly talking to one another when a shrill chiming sound breaks the peaceful environment.
“Who’s phone was that?” Hikaru asks, the other boys just slightly saying not me when Haruhi hurriedly takes her phone out of her bag.
“Ohhhhh someone got a message” Kaoru chastates as he and hikaru try leaning over Haurhis shoulder to peek at her phone like the nosy boy they are.
“Who’s it from haruhi huh could it be a boyyyyyyy/ or a girl we don't care either way.” The Hitachiin twins start
“What my little Piglet is talking to a boy OHHHHHH MAMA!” Tamaki yells flinging himself against kyoya with exaggerated tears in his eyes
“There there tamaki all children have to leave the nest eventually”. Kyoya states patting the blond on the head
“Is not a boy, not that its any of your business will you three stop it”
“Then who is it Haruhi?”. Hikaru asks once more
“It’s my childhood friend ok.”
“You have a childhood friend haru-chan? Just like me and Takashi” Honey states a childlike grin on his face
“I wouldn’t say just like you guys”
Tell us about them then haruhi, are they a commoner like you, how did you guys meet, how come we’ve never heard of this friend before?”
“Once again it's rude to call people commoners to their face and ive known them since we were kids our moms were close friends.
“Oh haru chan”
“It’s fine. I'm excited to see her again. Her family moved to New York, since that's where her dads from to take over his family’s business the summer before we lost mom. They were very kind and even sent us care packages and stuff and still do her moms really sweet
“Well I for one think it's great our little piglet has an American friend, especially since i didnt think haruhi would know anyone foreign.
“Do you all just assume your the only people i know? Haruhi asks the deviants all have the nerve to simultaneously say yes.
“Well your wrong”
“Anywayyyyyyy haruhi what's your friend's message to get it this late. It’s almost midnight there.” Hikaru states bluntly “Yeah haruhi tell us”, his twin joins the both of them now singing "tell us” over and over again, tap dancing on haruhi's last nerve.
“FINE!!!! The boys immediately stopping. “If you all must know she said she’s coming down here for a visit soon.”
“A visit that's amazing we should do something we should/…… all the boys descend into plan making, haruhi trying and failing to stop them.”
“Ah tamaki I almost forgot” kyoya states setting his tablet down aging the blonds full attention as well as everyone else’s
“”The principal spoke of opening up a new position at the school. They want to bring in a talented individual to boost our fine arts/ theater scores, against Lobelia, they wanted our opinion on the matter since we’ve dealt with them before.”
“What!! Really i couldn't agree more. It’s about time that stupid Zuka club is put in their place once and for all.”
“I wouldn’t get to ahead of ourselves tamaki” kyoya tries to interject
“NO I’ve decided, whoever it is shall have the full support of the Ouran highschool host club.!!!”
Honey, hikaru and Kaoru all applaud at tamakis over the top deceleration
“Very well I will inform the principal and he'll let us know when the candidate should arrive.” Everyone descends into the rest of the afternoon while the next day halfway across the would another family rises
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Readers pov
“Are you sure you want to go sweetheart?”
“Yes mama I do, I think it would be fun. I'll finally get to see japan again, be with grandma and grandpa for a while and help them out.
“Plus she'll get to see her friend again, Kana.” My dad, Sebastian Casdal, instructs comforting my mom as he goes to sit down next to her on the couch, my little brother bouncing in his arms.
“Yeah, I'll get to see Haruhi and the members of this club she always writes about. Plus it’ll be a great networking experience for me.
“I know dear but i'll miss you and you've already graduated highschool.”
“We’ll all miss her love but I agree it's a great opportunity for our little girl, plus she'll be doing her college course work with access to the great tutors and stuff they have available.”
“Plus mama it's not forever, it's for a couple of years at most, and you guys will come see me during the holidays and I'll come back during the summers.
“Oh my little girl you've got to stop growing on me. Mama states hugging me tight to her.
‘Mama,,,, you're going to smother me if you hold me any tighter.”
“I know, I know you can go my love but we’ll talk everyday ad if anything goes wrong you come straight home ok”
“Ok mama ok, don't worry you both will be so busy with the company and this little guy you won't even notice i'm gone”
“Yes we will but i know you can handle yourself, anyway let's start getting everything ready the new school term is only in a few weeks”
“I can’t wait to see haruhi's face when i show up to Ouran academy. “
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lantur · 2 years ago
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highlights,
Lots of good things since the end of June! It helped my mental health SO much to be off work on July 1, 2, 3, and 4. I had a very calm, quiet, and short week at work before starting another weekend. :)
My big win from the holiday weekend is that I made samosas from scratch for the very first time, and they turned out great. I've never deep fried anything before, and I feel like that gave me confidence and opened up new horizons in cooking. I can't wait to try making my own egg rolls.
Derek and I also watched the D&D movie with my brother and sister in law over the holiday weekend, and that was SO fun. I loved the movie.
Life's felt pretty good lately in the rhythm of sleeping better, having great workouts with running and swimming, cooking good food, and taking care of Westin and my garden.
Writing has been going well. I've been writing by hand in my notebook, which is slow, but I enjoy that process more than typing on my laptop.
I've finished a couple of (nonfiction) books lately, which were both interesting. The Forgotten Girls: A Memoir of Friendship and Lost Promise in Rural America, by Monica Potts, and Butts: A Backstory, by Heather Radek. I'm so glad I bought the tablet to read on; it's worlds better than reading Libby on my phone and I'm reading more as a result.
I got to hang out with a NEW FRIEND last night. :)) I don't make new friends often because of anxiety, but I had so much fun with her, and we have a lot in common! It was so exciting. I moved here 7 years ago with very few friends (none irl), knowing nobody here, and I've worked hard to build a good group of friends and family. That makes me really happy.
lowlights,
My mom has been really distant emotionally since my dad died in early May. She moved from California to the East Coast and she's currently staying with my aunt. (Right after my dad passed, and even in the months leading up to that, I offered to help her find a place to live near me, but she didn't want to come to my state.) I've been reaching out to her every day to check in, but she's been very short with me.
We haven't gotten along for years, but the rejection still hits hard. I was hoping (and planning) that we could and would pull together after losing my dad. After all - my mom is the only parent I have left. I'm the only immediate family member she has left. I thought that would count for something.
The whole situation has been causing me a lot of distress, but I'm coping with it in a variety of ways, including reminding myself that she may just be distant because of grief/depression, and that the way she's acting toward me right now isn't necessarily a reflection on me as a person - it's because of her feelings. I'm also coping with it by reminding myself that I have a full life with loving friends and in-laws, even though my parental/family of origin situation is not great.
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rewiredthethirdblog · 6 months ago
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Also took anurofen ibuprofen tablet after cause holy shit i needed it after themental gymnastics melanie did but i didnt fucking good just not talking past my initial points of dennis gonna be ashamed of melanie and then me putting on tx stretfights to distract me from dads inane bs but he means well then mr putting on noiseist music so dad eith cringe and forget what hes talking about! Eighteen visions i let go worked a charmmm i didnt wven remember to put slipknot on. But yah he instsntly shut it and just asked politely to lowrr volume. I left it loud for a bit longer to draw it out till he forgets his point organicslly and interrupts his rythm. Worked a charm. Let him down gently.
Need to make a noisy n raunchy music playlist for me n dad to get sidetrcked by
Tits will also sidetrack me as will ufc women besting each other up. Also big men vs many men. And txstreetfights shuts mum right up even when sound is off. Lmao. Good. I guess seeing young ppl fighting in 4k makes us just pay attention. You can feel the emotion on screen. Its eye candy just like any sexual porn except youre eager to see whos better thsn who not jst who talks but eho fucking destroys the bitches more. Lol maybe pixkup a thing or two about avoiding escalations and running from potential fight thrests n seeing bad things get worse.
Then i did put captions on the kids arent alright - the offspring. Put it on when i noticed mum ran out of things to chat about w linsry and linsey was cooking n busy. N mum watched the tv and yup the lyrics got to me and mum for sure. Haha checkmate. The lyrics of yhe song is so potent and real.
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weeple · 9 months ago
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I just remembered that I’m turning 21 in a month. What. What the hell. Earlier today we were just discussing what we’re going to do for dad’s birthday cause his is also next month but mines actually sooner which is why I feel so shocked that I remembered my birthday because I genuinely forgot how soon it is. I wonder if I’ll be able to have some friends over for a party, I haven’t had anyone over in a couple years and I would quite like to show my new friends my house. I actually don’t remember the last time I had friends over, I’m going to look through my photos and see… wow quite literally a couple years, 2 years well guess not even quite 2 years yet as it won’t be exactly 2 years till my birthday. Anyway wow that’s wild. Like I have literally since then gone to college and graduated that is messed up. I don’t even really talk to the people that were at my last party. Like I talk to one of them and I don’t even actually text him that much, we used to talk all the time and even tried being in a relationship TWICE! That’s sad. Now he’s gone and gotten a partner and they’re planning on moving in together. Happy for him but it hurts because he was the only person I ever really felt I had a chance with. Finding out he had a partner was also the moment I found out I am the only one out of all my close friends that isn’t in a relationship. And all of theirs seem quite serious like they’re either actively planning on moving in together or already are living together while I rot away in my parents basement an hours drive from all the rest of them. The aforementioned ex boyfriend used to live in my hometown but moved to the city for university so now I feel quite lonely and left behind. I told myself I would try and go to bed earlier tonight but now it’s 3am. I’m just glad I haven’t seen 5am because of my staying up in a while. A red hue has just come over the bottom of my keyboard and I’m not sure as to why. Evil keyboard activated. Hehehe I love typing everything that comes into my head. It made my class laugh for one of my jokes in my standup performance so I continue to do so cause maybe I’ll give a good chuckle at it or potential viewers that have decided to read my ramblings for some reason (it’s because they’re in love with me, ya that’s why and no other reasons whatsoever) I’m typing on my tablet as per usual as that’s where I have tumblr downloaded but I am loosing my mind because the keyboard is orientated slightly different from on my phone so I end up hitting the wrong punctuation and I don’t like it, I will continue to go back and fix my mistakes but gosh it’s annoying.
Back to being sad about aging and being alone and stuff. I think I don’t even actually understand what it means to be in love romantically, like I’ve looked up the definition of a romantic relationship because I just don’t get how it’s different from just being best friends. Maybe I’m just deeply in love with all of my best friends, which I have been assuming as I’ve confessed to all 3 of the people I’ve deemed my best friend in my life so far. I only got my feelings recuperated once, was with the again aforementioned ex boyfriend. The first time it was in grade 8 and it wasn’t directly a confession to her but that was what I was going to try and lead to but when we were laying together on the pull out couch in the shed at her grandparents trailer park and I told her I really wouldn’t mind dating boys or girls and she went quiet. I don’t;t even think I realized at the time that I essentially came out as bisexual to her. In the morning we walked out to the rocks by the lake and she asked me about what I said last night and asked if I was kidding and said we couldn’t be friends anymore if I wasn’t kidding so obviously I lied and said it was all a joke and I was kidding. What else was I supposed to do. My best friend just said we wouldn’t be friends anymore. Though I never was her best friend because her best friend was a girl from her old town. It really hurt how every time I said she was my best friend she would remind me that I wasn’t hers. It makes me feel slightly less guilty for accidentally ghosting her the next year. We haven’t talked since but I do still feel guilty. I often wonder if we would still be friends if she hadn’t changed to home school in grade 9 and if I had seen her “hey”. I ate lunch alone in a dark corner of the school next to a forgotten pair of washrooms (very nice washroom cause no one used them since they were so tucked away.) Time by Ben Folds is playing right now (thank you YouTube for this mix that is literally just Ben folds/ben folds five cause like ya that’s the good stuff) very on theme. I often catch myself missing who I was in my past but have I really changed all that much. I think I just miss the circumstance of not “now”. I find it weird looking at old photos of myself because I don’t seem to recognize myself like did I really look like that? Do I reflect any of that now?
My head hurts and I keep feeling dizzy but not quite dizzy and not quite woozy just like woogly or something I don’t know, bad I guess. I should really try to sleep maybe it will be nice tomorrow and I won’t think of my woes and I won’t pick all the skin off my face. I feel like I’ve been holding in tears but like they’re not falling just on standby I guess. I am probably forgetting many words in this long ramble because my brain is behind my body so to any potential readers, if you’ve noticed any missing words, no you haven’t. Thanks.
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thru-the-grapevine · 2 years ago
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Lifeline
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Pairing: gn!reader x Android!Vernon
Genre: action, lil tiny bit of angst, lil tiny bit of fluff
Word Count: 1856
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The first thing he saw when his eyes powered up were lights. So many lights. Bright, fluorescent, colorful. So very different from the darkness he was accustomed to. He liked the lights better. 
The second thing he saw was a man. The man was fiddling with the circuits in the side of his head. The sensation was strange but not painful. 
“There, good to go,” the man said, closing the panel and standing back. “Now, VRN Unit, let’s see what you’ve got.” 
Right leg. Left leg. Right leg again. Easy enough. Now for the hands. Also easy enough. 
The man looked pleased, jotting notes into his tablet, muttering, “Motion smooth. Optics appear normal. VRN Unit’s activation was successful.” 
VRN Unit… His serial number, of course. The man in front of him was his creator. 
The third thing he saw was you. You burst through the doors of his creator’s lab, hair a mess, eyes frantic, and he was immediately intrigued. Was that the correct term? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was his optics would not leave your face. Could not leave your face. How unusual. Perhaps a small malfunction. 
“Dad!” you cried. “There are soldiers everywhere! They’ve started rounding people up off the streets!” 
His creator whirled around, and he detected fear in the man’s voice. “So soon… Very well, my dear. I suppose it’s time to introduce you to the VRN Unit. He will be your closest companion throughout this time. He will keep you safe.” 
You looked at your father in confusion. “Safe? What do you mean? Are those soldiers after us, too?!” 
Your father nodded solemnly. “Our world is changing. You will find the truth soon enough,” he said. 
You stared at him. “What kinda cryptic bullshit is that?” 
With a wry smile, your father said, “I’m afraid I cannot tell you more than that. Now,” he turned to the VRN Unit, “you two best be going now.” 
With a nod, the android took your hand and rather unceremoniously started dragging you out the secret back door of the lab. 
“Wait?!” you shrieked. “Dad, what about you?!” 
Your father’s sad smile was the last thing you saw of him before the doors slid shut.
Outside the lab, chaos reigned. People cried and screamed as sirens wailed overhead. The sounds of glass shattering and bullets firing threatened to overload your senses. Still, the android pressed on, expertly weaving through dim alleyways and abandoned tunnels covered in graffiti. 
You were too shocked to speak, to tell him to slow down as you tripped over bottles in the street. You had watched as the lab you grew up in, that your father was immensely proud of and had worked to maintain, burst into flames. You didn’t understand why, but you knew your father was a target of whatever rebellion was taking place overhead. You knew that he expected you to find out why all this happened. But where were you even to start? 
The android stopped moving, causing you to nearly crash into him as you stumbled to a sudden stop. “Behind me,” he said, his voice low. 
Maybe it was because you knew your father had created him to protect you, but you instantly did as you were told. You slipped behind his broad back, cautiously peeking out at what had spooked him. 
Two robots, glowing eyes lifeless and empty, hovered above you both. “Hand over HUMAN 1331,” one of them stated in its monotone voice. 
I have a name, you know, you thought indignantly.
“What are the charges?” you android asked, subtly pushing your head back behind his torso. 
“Hand over HUMAN 1331,” the robot repeated. 
“Or what?” your android challenged. 
Both robots simultaneously lifted their guns and pointed them directly at you both. 
“Oh, I see,” your android answered. Then, he spun around, scooped you up, and ran. 
You shrieked as bullets ricocheted behind you, but the android didn’t flinch. Instead his pace picked up as he made for the tunnels you had only just passed through. Once inside, you felt claustrophobic. “This was a terrible idea! Now we’re trapped!” you cried. 
But your android narrowed his eyes as if searching for something. Then, they widened and he dashed toward the wall of the tunnel. He slammed his hand on one particularly strange graffiti, shaped like a diamond. 
To your utter shock, what you thought was a solid wall slid open, revealing another tunnel inside. Without a word, your android slipped inside, the wall closed, and the robots hunting you flew past none the wiser. 
The glow from VRN Unit’s eyes lit up the tunnel, its walls more natural than anything you’d ever been in. Water dripped lazily down one side, and drawings of people, animals, symbols, and even some messages cluttered the walls, ceiling, and even the floor of the tunnel. 
“What is this place?” you asked, flinching at the echo the tunnel gave to your voice. 
“A safe place,” he answered. 
“Are you sure?” 
“Your father was sure.” 
You stared at him. “How much did my father tell you that he never told me?” you asked.
“I don’t know. He programmed his knowledge into me. What he knows, I know,” he answered. 
“VRN Unit is too much of a mouthful,” you said, more to yourself. “I’m gonna call you Vernon. It’ll help you blend in more too.” 
“Blend in? My eyes glow.” 
“You know what, I’ve changed my mind. I’m calling you Robot Boy,” you huffed. 
“Vernon is nice,” he said. 
You snorted. “Well, Robot Boy? Lead the way to this ‘safe place.’” You gestured sarcastically down the dark tunnel. 
His eyes flashed orange for just a moment, but he obliged. The two of you walked in silence for a good while, your footsteps echoing loudly. Your eyes wandered to the strange drawings, some very faded, while others remained vibrant and fresh. 
Once again, you only just managed to stop yourself from ramming into Vernon’s back as he came to a sudden stop. Before you could complain, Vernon whirled around and grabbed your hand, dashing off back down the tunnel. 
Shouting and gunshots could be heard from the enormous cavern you’d only briefly glimpsed. 
“How did they find this place already?” Vernon muttered. 
Heart sinking, your fears were confirmed. Your safe place was no longer safe. And once again, you were running for your lives. Vernon’s grip never loosened on your hand even as you both burst back out into the traffic tunnel. 
Fortunately, the robots from earlier were gone, and the two of you dashed back out into the city. From there, Vernon led you on a confusing path through alleys and on top of old, run-down buildings. You were utterly lost, having never been to this side of the city before. 
But here, things were quiet. Much quieter than where your old home was, where flashing billboards impeded your view and noisy flying cars zoomed about. Here, though it was dark, you couldn’t help but relish in the quiet. 
Vernon finally slowed down as you approached a small building nestled between two rundown skyscrapers. You might have missed it had he not pulled you directly in front of the wooden door.
Heh. A wooden door. How antique. Still, it was charming, despite the scratches covering its once polished wood.
Vernon pulled the door open and hurried inside. You followed closely behind, neither of you keen to be seen out in the open after everything that had occurred that night. 
Inside the small building, it was dusty. Vernon’s glowing eyes provided minimum lighting, but somehow he seemed to know where some candles and a box of matches were stored. Soon enough, you had enough little lights flickering that you could make out the rest of the room.
The first thing you noticed were the books. Dozens upon dozens of old, leather-bound books filled the shelves that lined the walls of the room. An old stone fireplace stood empty, its mantle covered in cobwebs. 
A green couch stood in front of the fireplace, dusty but intact. You marveled at the velvet covering and intricately carved wooden arms. A massive armchair stood at an angle to the fireplace and immediately you could tell it must be very plush and comfortable. That is, aside from the holes and the cobwebs covering it. 
“What is this place?” you whispered. 
“It’s yours. Well, your family’s,” Vernon said. “Your father owned it, and it was passed down to him generation from generation.” 
“This was ours? Why did he never tell me…?” you muttered. 
“I think he intended to.” 
You didn’t respond. Honestly, you didn’t know how to. All this was too much. Far too much. First your father being cryptic, then running for your life twice with an android you’d only just met, and now a secret house full of antiques? Too much.
Your knees gave out, and you collapsed onto the couch, sending a cloud of dust into the room. Coughing, you used the dust as an excuse to wipe the tears that had begun to fall from your eyes. 
Vernon, however, was not a dumb android. He knew immediately that you were overwhelmed. So, he did what any good android would do: he gave you an awkward (yet gentle) pat on the head. 
You sniffled gratefully. And then your stomach growled. 
Vernon’s eyes flashed yellow. “I’ll go get you some food. Stay here. Don’t go outside,” he said. Then he was gone. You were alone. 
Not wanting to listen to the silence too much longer, you began to browse the books. You knew most of them, had studied many in school. Yet something felt different reading the words printed in old-fashioned typeface rather than on a screen. Maybe you could see the appeal of these clunky old things after all.
You were deep into one called The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe when the door opening made you jump several feet in the air. 
Whirling around, you nearly dropped your book in relief upon seeing Vernon, a few bags in hand. 
“Where did you get those?” you asked as he began pulling out fresh sushi and soup. 
“Don’t worry about it,” he answered, avoiding your gaze as if you might figure out the truth through his eyes. 
Deciding you didn’t want to know, you allowed the food to be the perfect distraction. Shoveling spicy tuna roll after spicy tuna roll in your mouth, you relished the taste and the comfort it brought. 
Vernon merely watched you eat, the gentle blue glow of his eyes never wavering. You didn’t feel uncomfortable, rather enjoying what appeared to be a hint of curiosity in his eyes. 
The two of you sat in each other’s company, you eating, him watching, until your own eyes began to droop. The events of the day finally caught up to your body, and your head slowly flopped onto Vernon’s shoulder. Surprisingly comfortable. 
Vernon didn’t move, allowing you to rest against him. You looked up to him through blurred vision. “Thank you for being here with me,” you mumbled. Sleep overtook you before you could see Vernon’s eyes glow vibrantly pink.
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finelinevogue · 3 years ago
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the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay 😚😚😚😚
P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable
anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he won’t be having more children
so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind it’s heavily angsty!;
tw: vomiting, ppd and od
oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks
Motherhood was really fucking hard.
The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.
It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after you’d taken her home that it’d all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.
“Ssh ssh,” Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasn’t accepting your milk. She hadn’t been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying ‘Oh i’ll just try later.’ Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. “Mummy’s coming.”
As much as you didn’t want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. You’d tested it on your hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didn’t taste any different to you. Then again you’re not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.
“Look here’s mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!” Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasn’t as happy for her as he was.
“Yeah.” You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasn’t just rejecting you.
But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.
“Such a sweet girl, aren’t you?” Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew she’d become. It just hurt that it wasn’t you that could help her become that.
You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldn’t even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps you’d never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldn’t need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you weren’t worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didn’t think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.
Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you weren’t a good enough mum for her and that she didn’t feel safe enough around you. She didn’t find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something you’d clearly never be able to give her.
There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they weren’t old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasn’t even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when you’d completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.
“You two boys okay?”
You walked into the children’s playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felix’s little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oli’s legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.
“Yep!” Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.
“What are you both drawing?” You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.
“We’re colouring for daddy.” Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.
His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you weren’t doing enough. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.
“O-oh,” you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. “Tell me about them then, my loves.”
Oli went first, “So this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. It’s us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.” He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but you’d never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you weren’t a part of that.
“Oh that’s so good Ols!” you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felix’s, “What about you Fix?”
“I drew daddy as the best.” He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of ‘my hero’.
“I told him to write hero, mummy.” Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.
“Well done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!” You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. “Shall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?” You asked, trying to feel useful.
“Daddy is making us smoothies!” Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didn’t catch the tears in your eyes.
“Okay! Don’t forget to give him those pictures - he’ll love those.” You praised them and they both giggled to each other.
The sight of your sons laughing should’ve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you weren’t the source of their happiness. You weren’t on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely weren’t their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didn’t need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.
Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.
You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when she’d next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldn’t help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.
You’d found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road you’d judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when you’d only had 37 minutes but who’s counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.
There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. You’d never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you would’ve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you weren’t energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.
Last night had been that night.
Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.
You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didn’t want life.
It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.
“Mummy? Can you come tuck me in please?” Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.
You’d gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and that’s when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. You’d made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before you’d passed out you’d stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.
“Mummy! Wake up!” Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.
Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as he’d gotten Belle down.
“Y’alright buddy?” Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belle’s room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.
“No. Mummy’s not waking up.” Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.
“She’s probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.”
“She’s really tired all of the times.”
“I know, Ol.” Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that you’d overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didn’t truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that you’d been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.
Hell, was he so wrong.
“Go to bed, bud okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Wake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.”
“I’ll try little man, alright?” Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.
Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry you’d be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.
“Baby?” He spoke softly, nudging you gently, “Baby wake up.” No response. “Y/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.” Normally you would’ve stirred by now but there was still nothing. “Y/N?” Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. “Y/N!” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.
He turned you over and that’s when he knew this was very, very, bad.
Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.
“No, no, no. Y/N! No you don’t.” Harry’s eyes starting weeping and he couldn’t think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. “Fuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You don’t get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck i’m so sorry.” He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.
999
“What’s your emergency?”
“I need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.”
The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belle’s deafening screams. Harry’s heart beating for the both of you.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.
Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs weren’t receiving properly.
It then dawned on you how you weren’t in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You can’t really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.
Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasn’t asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you weren’t sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.
You squeezed his hand three times saying ‘I love you.’
“Y/N,” He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and you’d done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where he’d been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadn’t been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.
“I—” Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. “I’m sorry.” You were whispering so you didn’t disturb anyone else in the room.
“No, stop it. I’m sorry baby.”
“Harry don’t, you don’t have anyt—”
“Stop yes I do I—”
“Harry please you don’t owe—”
“Y/N listen!” He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me instead”.
“Harry, you don’t mean—”
“My god Y/N! You don’t get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. I’d suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum you’d be and what beautiful people you’d help bring up into the world—”
“But i’m not.” You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didn’t let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.
“Not what?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. You’d both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.
“A good mum. I’m- i’m not a good mum or wife, Harry and i’m sorry.”
“I told you not say it and stop thinking it, because you’re completely wrong Y/N. You’re a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.”
“But i’m not great.” You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. “I’m not the best.”
“But you don’t have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?” Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. “They wouldn’t be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you don’t got this, but baby you’re already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.”
“I’m just so fucked up Harry.” Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.
Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and you’d missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.
“Listen to me.” He ordered, keeping you still. “You are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.
“You are.” You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.
“Just let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then let’s do it, and i’ll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, that’s okay we can—”
You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. “No, no please, no.”
“Okay, okay, love. We won’t. See, you’re okay. I promise, you’re okay. Stay with me, yeah? I’ll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.”
“Promise.” You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didn’t care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. “I think.. I think I want to try medication please.”
Harry didn’t say ‘okay’ or ‘sure thing’, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying ‘I love you.’ Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but you’re doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but worth it.
“I’m proud of you.”
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shazos · 4 years ago
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Rouxls is Hiding Something Big: A Deltarune Theory
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FORENOTE- For some needed context, it may help reading my previous Deltarune theory here for important details that I will cover in this post. (My previous theory provides notable evidence on why Gaster is indeed the “Knight” figure talked about by multiple characters in Deltarune.)
Now, this is going to sound crazy. But after much time of poring over and analyzing Deltarune, I have come to a conclusion. One that I’ve been convinced of for awhile now. Something that’s been lying right under all of our noses without many of us even realizing it. We have all been bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Tricked. Why, you may ask?
Because the comically stupid and inept Duke of Puzzles is actually... not an idiot. No, he’s the complete opposite. He is a downright mastermind.
As collective players, we are all falling into the same trap once again. Putting faith into a character’s preconceived personality !
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When their true personality turns out the complete opposite of what we expected...
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It is here, my evidence for this claim begins—and we delve into the true identity of Rouxls Kaard. Buckle up everyone, cause this one’s gonna be a fun ride. 👀
So, to spill the beans up front, and get it over with. I believe Rouxls Kaards identity... is none other than W.D. Gaster in disguise.
Now. I didn’t immediately become invested in this theory—I was skeptical at first like everyone else. But, once I began examining Deltarune and all of its characters a bit closer...things weren’t exactly adding up about the Duke of Puzzles.
Point #1: Anagrams
I initially began to become suspicious of Rouxls Kaard because of his odd name. Sure, it is a play on the words of the term, “Rules card”. But it is spelt in such a peculiar way. If it were just simply a play on words, I think that there would be a much better way of going about spelling it rather than just jumbling a bunch of random letters together. There is a very intriguing reddit post found here that goes more into depth about his name that ties well into my theory. The thing that stood out to me in particular, is that Rouxls’s name is actually also an anagram for “A Dark Soul RX”, (with the left over RX typically being used in terms relating to doctors/medicine.) Not only is Gaster a Doctor, but he’s also always associated with darkness and the research of souls. Toby loves his anagrams—so I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if this was intentional. But it doesn’t end there.
I’ve noticed that Toby Fox has a tendency to tease certain things about his games through merch. And wouldn’t you know it—he has in fact, a particular item on fangamer of a “dark heart.” One which description describes the Angel’s Prophecy. Hm...
But let’s back on track onto my second observation, shall we?
Point #2: The Physical Resemblance to Gaster
Now, there seems to be some interesting foreshadowing related to inverted colors in Deltarune. Before Ralsei takes his hat off, he appears black. But once he takes his hat off, voila, his colors are inverted, and he is revealed to actually be a white goat highly resembling Asriel.
In addition, the entire Dark World is literally just. An inverted version of a normal world.
The Dark World could have hypothetically been the created world/experiment that Gaster had fallen into in the first place. After all, his experiment had to do with “darkness”, and “negative” photons--AKA the Dark Fountains, and the negatively/inverted landscapes of the Dark World.
And how does Rouxls Kaard appear inverted anyways? Well, he looks like THIS.
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He even has the strange dangling lip thing—which another character said to directly resemble Gaster, Seam, has as well:
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In addition, if you look at Rouxls’ text-box profile very closely, his eye colors are actually mismatched which is a rather interesting detail!
Point # 3: His Accent is Extremely put on.
I think anybody that has read any sort of Shakespearean/Old English writing, can instantly realize that Rouxls is as bad as imitating an Old English accent as a high-schooler reading Hamlet for the first time. Rouxls absolutely butchers it. He practically adds eth, and est at the end of any word he chooses, and calls the job done. What is even more interesting though, is when he gets nervous or panicked, he drops the act all together and talks normally.
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Point #4: He is Pretending to be Dumb; His Puzzles are Actually Impressive!
I found it intriguing how there are countless puzzle traps in all the forest areas and in the Card Castle prison that were actually very well done. You have to flip the spades, diamonds, hearts, etc to unlock doors, and open secret chests. They require a decent amount of thinking skills, and are actually competent. But who made them?? Oddly enough if you observe one of them in the forest areas, it appears that Rouxls Kaard vandalized one of the puzzles to make it harder for the player to beat it—which further implies that he actually indeed made those puzzles himself. This shows that Rouxls is much more competent than only being able to make a single box shove puzzle that is comically easy. Where else do we see a place full of plenty of rather well made puzzles + traps seen? All throughout the Core in Undertale—a place which Gaster himself created!
Point #5: Rouxls IS Aware the World is a Game--AKA DON’T FORGET TO READ NPC DIALOGUE FOLKS!
I think it is well aware by now that Rouxls likely wants us as the players to underestimate him--and deem him a fool so we wouldn’t bat an eye at what he’s actually up to. But the most biggest give away to this is something that I have surprisingly seen no one mention at all. And oh boy, it is the most damning evidence that Rouxls is no idiot to be trifled with.
To the left of Seam’s shop, there can be found a little group of former puzzle-makers that used to live at Card Castle, until they were fired and replaced with Rouxls Kaard. They are now all out of a job, and are just barely scraping by since the Spade King didn’t give them any severance pay. However, Rouxls Kaard offered them a way to get money--by selling the tutorials he made.
These tutorials go over TP, stats, information about Susie, Ralsei,  and Kris. Rouxls Kaard has never once met any of the players yet--and he knows everything about them. He knows about stats. He knows the world is a game.
HOW??
In addition, when you talk to Rouxls in his shop, he calls you three the Heroes of Legend. He is well aware of the Angel’s Prophecy. He knows.
Whenever any character in the world of Undertale & Deltarune knows that the world is a game, it is an instant red-flag. It goes to show that they know much more than they let on. Flowey and Sans are big examples of this in Undertale. Pure hearted, dorky idiots that we trust earlier in the game--but wind up seeing the real side of them later on.
...So why should we treat Rouxls any differently?
Point #6: The “Control Crown”
Something that I immediately thought was kind of weird, was the fact that Rouxls Kaard was able to control the K. Round with a “Control Crown” device. If he is so stupid, how was he able to create a full on mechanical device that can brainwash a life-form into being violent/cause it to triple in size?! That is genius material right there!
But things start to take on a much darker side when you begin to look at the subtext of this realization, which I will get to in a moment...
First of all, Seam claimed these exact words.
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The remaining king was the Spade King-- as the King of Hearts, Diamonds, and Clubs are seen to be locked up in the Dungeon. Therefore, the Spade King put the Knight, and his strange son into power. IF it were the Spade King in power, the dialogue box WOULD have said “himself”. Therefore, the Knight, and his strange son were put in place to control the kingdom. And who are they?
Gaster/Rouxls Kaard, and Lancer.
Evidence to back this up:
Lancer calls Rouxls his “Lesser Dad”. And Rouxls calls Lancer, his Strange little darling/son.
The Spade King is not in charge. During his boss-fight, he states that he obeys the word of the Knight.
If you observe more of Lancer’s dialogue in the scene right before the gang enters Card Castle, he states that his dad, (Spade King), recently forced his troops to listen to Lancer instead. Therefore, Lancer is by all respects actually second in command to the Knight.
One of Rouxls main interests is...Lawmaking. Even though he is just supposedly an innocent Duke of Puzzles.
Another one of Rouxls main interests is...Cages, and long strolls in the dungeon... 
There are innocent puzzle-makers locked up in the Prison who are terrified--they were arrested for the simple act of making a puzzle without a license. HM, I wonder who could have possibly locked them up? *Wink wink nudge nudge*
And what ties this all together, is perhaps the most obscure, tiniest detail that no one would have likely observed on a first play-through. If you go to the first floor of Card Castle and click the description tablet next to the elevator to the Prison, it claims that the Prison used to just be a Basement Which Just Happened to Have a Lot of Cages. This is backed up by the caged animals in the basement, who say that they miss the “good old days” when they used to be the only ones there in cages, and not a bunch of people behind bars.
In summary, Rouxls is locking up a bunch of innocent people, and playing nice to our faces. He IS the knight. And he is not to be underestimated.
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Point #7: Rouxls’ Plan is Already Set in Place
The part where this theory gets a little dark, ties back to my mentioning of the control crown earlier.
If you observe the throne room, it looks like it was recently torn apart in a sort of...conflict.
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Why was the Spade King the only king left un-caged to begin with? Why wasn’t he locked up too?
Well...Rouxls Kaard needed someone to put him in charge. But not only that—he needed a scapegoat. Someone to blame. Someone to be “The Bad Guy” for the Heroes to fight.
The Spade King...is actually innocent. He is obeying the Knight, because he is being controlled by a Control Crown. The throne room is in ruins because the Spade King likely fought against this at first, but Rouxls won and successfully put the Spade King under his command. I thought it was strange how the King was so...violent. So irredeemably evil, and even murderous toward his own son Lancer. Yes, it could be argued that this is indeed his true personality, that he is a complete, abusive jerk. But, the whole ending battle of Deltarune chapter 1 feels so...set up in a way? It feels so starkly good vs evil, black and white. Almost like a play.
And oh boy. I think I was onto something.
If you pay close attention to the fight with the Spade King, there is a brief moment at the beginning where he is completely shrouded in shadow. Except. For. His. Crown. It glows stark white in comparison to himself. Like a Chekov’s Gun if you will.
And even more interesting, in the supposed good/pacifist ending, the Spade King is locked up in Prison, the other three kings are still locked up in cages, everyone else is freed, and Rouxls and Lancer now have full control of the kingdom...
Guys. We just played right into Gaster’s hands.
Point #8: Seam Knows that Rouxls is the Knight...
The final observation that genuinely makes me convinced in this theory, is a small detail I noticed at the end of the Pacifist run of Deltarune. Once you have beaten the game, and all of the prisoners are freed, everyone comes to celebrate at Card Castle for your victory. Everyone, except for Seam. That is because Seam knows what the “Strange Knight” did to Jevil. He knows who the Strange Knight is. And he knows what the Knight’s true intentions are.
Point #9: Extra Tidbits I noticed:
When compared to the other denizens of card castle, Rouxls seems out of place. He is the one vaguely humanoid character among a bunch of card and chess themed Darkners. 
His puzzle is... too easy.
Rouxls is oddly excited about overthrowing the king/taking his place. 
Rouxls is well versed in calligraphy of all things. (Relation to fonts + letters.)
Rouxls “sparkles” have an odd resemblance to the shining save states...?
He makes pop culture references, such as ones seen here and here. Could just be random throwaway jokes, but often times more “aware” characters such as Sans and Papyrus are keen on breaking the fourth wall at times/making references to relate with the audience.
His hair looks strangely out of place. Especially the hairline which is really receded to an unnatural degree on the left side. It’s a wig guys...
He gets a suspiciously new position for no reason at all. In any normal situation, he would be extremely unqualified for it if he were as stupid as he makes himself out to be.
Rouxls is literally wearing armor, akin to a medieval knights.
If you pay close attention, Rouxls has a few very subtle similar speech patterns to Gaster. They both occasionally repeat words twice. They both use the words wonderful and truly a lot, etc.
When Kris and the gang beat the K. Round, Rouxls said it was just to test their abilities.
Rouxls theme has leitmotifs from Gaster’s theme.
End of discussion. Deltarune’s finale is legit going to be Gaster getting his wig snatched.
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dibs4ever · 3 years ago
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Young Barbara’s Crush
13-year-old Dick Grayson happily followed behind his Best friend Barbara Gordon as they made their way through her apartment toward her bedroom so they could have a homework session.
He’d been so busy lately with Robin duties he’d hardly gotten to see her. To top it off he had to keep Robin a secret from her which made things even harder to do when he’d unexpectedly cancel on her or made excuses not to hang out after school.
“I’m glad we get to do this.” Dick smiled
Barbara nodded “I know it’s been forever. I swear you have either the stupid ballroom dance classes Bruce is making you take or the Chess team practice every day.”
Dick chuckled “Yeah chess.”
She looked over her shoulder at him oddly but didn’t question anything.
Dick knew Barbara was smart and often wondered if she doubted he had those extracurriculars.
She opened her bedroom door and Dick paused at what was staring back at him from across the room
“Is that-do you have a large poster of Robin on your wall?” He questioned
Barbara flashed him an embarrassed smile “Well I mean it’s not the best picture of him cause he’s in action and it was taken while he was in a mid-fight by a newspaper reporter. That’s what I admire about Batman and Robin yeah know. They fight and leave, they are doing it for the good of the people cause they don’t stick around and talk to the press and do photo ops. Therefore no decent photos of him exist”
Dick nodded “ Why no poster of Batman then?” He asked stepping further into her room. Had it been so long that he’d been to her place that she’d gotten a huge poster of well HIM plastered on her wall above her desk?
Barbara shrugged “Cause I didn’t want Batman.”
He furrowed his eyebrows “Oh...”
She looked up at the poster, it featured Robin doing a high kick in the street of Gotham. An intimidating look on his face. His cape blowing flawlessly, his hair tousled with some strands in his face. It didn’t show who he was fighting and honestly, Dick couldn’t didn't know himself. He fought so.many thugs a week it could be anyone.
She looked over her shoulder at him “Remember when I told you I met them once?”
Dick smiled nodding, remembering that night and how he was so nervous seeing her as Robin. Jim got the wrong idea from his awkward stare and said “Not on your life Boy Wonder” after she had left. Then the next day at school Barbara practically tackled him in the hall with excitement clenching his sore bicep as she told him all about meeting Batman and Robin. She was the one everyone wanted to talk to at school for the next week because so few had seen -let alone gotten a ‘private meeting’ with the duo.
She looked back at the photo and smiled “He has the cutest butt.”
Dick’s eyes widened “What!”
Barbara bit her lip “Okay hear me out I know it sounds weird but I don’t know.” She sighed sitting in her chair
“Babs, I’m your best friend but-“ Dick began
She shook her head “I know -I know I mean maybe it was all these puberty hormones or maybe it was the tights but like when I met him his butt was where my eyes went it’s so....perky. And his swept hair and his eyes-“
Dick chucked “You couldn’t see his eyes”
Barbara rolled her eyes “Touché- I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s cause he’s a bad boy...I mean he’s the opposite of a bad boy cause he fights bad guys but at the same time he’s doing it illegally, then again my dad allows him to....idk he’s got this intimidating, strong, daring level to him.”
Everything she was saying was rushing to Dick “Babs are you- are you saying you have a crush on Robin.”
Barbara smirked “Gee thought I made it pretty clear when I said I was checking out his butt the night I met him”
Dick swallowed -his best friend was checking out his butt....well technically she didn’t know she was but still.
“He’s not that great.” Dick tried to brush off
She smiled “You’re one of a few who think so. Half the school has a crush on him”
Dick coughed “Half?”
She tilted her head from side to side “Well maybe not half. Take the number of people who are attracted to males, that’s about 50%, and then probably about 35 to 40% of them have a crush on Robin,so maybe 35% in all.”
Dick sat on the edge of her bed “Still doesn’t mean he’s that great. I could run circles around him given the chance.”
She laughed “Please, Dick you’re great and all but a Mathlete, chess-playing, ballroom dancing, ward to a billionaire. Vs a Daring, strong, intimidating, though and handsome Vigilante.....pretty obvious Robin is kicking your ass.” Barbara pointed
Dick rose an eyebrow “Believe what you want but one day I’ll prove you wrong Ms.Gordon”
She smirked “Oh yeah? And how do you intend to square up with Robin, Mr.Grayson?”
He shrugged “I have my resources “
“Oh yes and next you’re going to tell me you bench 150lbs “ she stuck her tongue out
Dick chuckled “Actually it’s 135, I’m working my way up to 150” he stuck his tongue back out at her. Acting like he was joking when he was indeed telling the truth. Considering the average bench pressing weight for someone their age was 75lbs his little ‘joke’sounded just like that....a joke. Even though it was the truth. The day Barbara eagerly clung onto his bicep as she eagerly told him about her meeting with Batman and Robin. He not only tried to act shocked but also prayed she wouldn’t notice the large amount of muscles he had
She laughed lightly “come on let’s get to work, our parental’s won’t be too pleased if they come back to find we just joked around instead of doing homework again”
He nodded thankful they conversation was ending “Yeah let’s start with Science.” He reached for his school tablet, as he did couldn’t but help but think - How fun would it be to talk to Barbara about Batman stuff if she knew he was Robin?
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sunaswife · 4 years ago
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Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.
note from denise: hi hii 🥺 I’m so happy and i love this chapter even though it’s all over the place so I’m sorry plz forgive me 🙇‍♀️
Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload
Previously Up Next Masterlist
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Chapter eight
You heard Hana and Jamie bickering in the living room as you took the burnt part off of the bell peppers you roasted. You were looking out the window in front of the sink every once in a while to check up on the kids. They were having fun playing with their father and uncles. You’ve never seen them smile brighter.
You were happy that they finally had their father, Tobio was a good figure but obviously not their real father. Earlier Rin gave his first scolding to your son for shoving Akira and he also told Akira that calling people idiot wasn’t nice. You couldn’t help but snicker behind your cardigan since he was obviously nervous and a bit awkward but it all worked out in the end. The twins and your best friends were peering through the door at the scene and they were in awe.
It just looked so natural. You, Rin and the kids. All that’s missing is a pet dog or cat. Jamie thought if you and Rin really try then you both could fall in love again and be a nice family all together. She grew up with divorced parents so she knew how tough it could be. She doesn’t want to hear you and Rin fighting in the future about upcoming holidays. Or maybe eventually having to separate the twins.
“Hana do you think you could ask the guys if they want to stay for dinner?” You said from the kitchen. “Oka-“ “No y/n, I think you should do it.” Jamie popped in. “Huh? I’m literally cooking.” You said as you reached into the bag of roasted peppers. Your fingers were stuck onto the black crisps. “You’re trying to avoid them.” She squinted and you rolled your eyes. “No I’m not.” You defended yourself. “Yes you are.” She deadpanned. “You never say no to setting for your kids. Even if you’re busy you tell them to give you five or ten minutes but when Rini asked you straight up said no since you needed to cook. I think that stung him a bit. He probably wanted to show off his skills to his dad.” She said and you frowned slightly. “I mean it’s fine, she’s probably uncomfortable which makes sense. The worst people in the world are just chilling in her house. It makes sense that she’s on edge.” The familiar voice said and you turned to see Atsumu leaning against the breakfast bar between your kitchen and living room. You didn’t want to say he’s right..but I mean..he’s right.
“...would you like to stay for dinner?” You asked awkwardly as Jaime sighed and walked away. “Mmm depends, what are you making?” He teased to try to help you ease up. “Food, either take it or leave it.” You said plainly as you flipped the pepper on the stove. “I miss your cooking so I think I’ll stay. Let me call Osamu so he can help.” He said and you immediately protested. “No it’s fine, you guys are the guests. I’ll feel bad.” You said and he chuckled. “Y/N-Chan..” he started, “Osamu owns his own restaurant, all he does is eat, cook, and work out. He would want nothing more than to help you cook. It’s in his DNA.” He said and you rolled your eyes. “Fine ask Rin if he wants to stay too.” You said. “Oh he’ll want to stay, plus we all carpooled together.” He said and you nodded and he left.
“Yo, we gotta go.” Jamie said from the doorway. “Did you say bye to the kids?” You asked and she nodded. “Sorry Y/N, we have a doctors appointment.” Jamie frowned slightly. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll call you later.” You smiled and she nodded sadly. After a quick goodbye hug they were out the door and Osamu was waiting in the kitchen to help you cook.
“Alright boss, let’s get started.” He said as he washed his hands and you chuckled.
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Dinner went good, the kids mainly talked and were the stars of the show. After dinner they wanted to show their uncles and dad their Minecraft worlds on their tablets, courtesy of Tobio.
Suna offered to help clean up but you insisted it was fine and to spend as much time with the kids and he reluctantly agreed and you were left alone.
Your phone buzz after you sat on the breakfast bar to enjoy yet another cup of tea and you almost spilled it when you saw who was calling. “Holy shit, holy shit.” You muttered and the guys immediately turned to you from their spots on the couch. “I’m going to take this phone call I’ll be right back.” You said leaving Rin in charge and you answered while you made your way down the hall.
“Hello?” “Hi is this Y/N? This is Natsuo, the songwriter and director for the soundtrack for Kimetsu No Yaiba. From my understanding you are voicing Nezuko and Shinobu, correct?” “That is correct, sir.” You replied, “Well I stumbled across your portfolio and resume and I phone called your old vocal coach and he said some things about you.” He said. “Well I hope they’re all good.” You chuckled nervously.
“Yes they’re more than good actually and I wanted to offer you the opportunity of singing the opening for the anime, if not then maybe the outro. Would you be interested? Of course you’d have to come to the studio and sing for us and we’ll decide but I wanted to ask first since I know you also work as a volleyball commentator as well.” He said and you gasped.
“Yes sir of course, I would be honored...” you said happily. “Great! I see that you come in the studio on Monday for the read through of the script. Can you come earlier to audition?” He asked and you agreed and set up a time.
Normally any other person would want to audition after but if it’s singing, you can’t eat or drink sweet stuff before because it messes up your throat and you can accidentally burp and embarrass yourself. So you’d rather do the singing audition before and eat whatever is at the snack bar during the read through.
When you hung up the phone you squealed and did a little happy dance. You quickly took a deep breath and you made your way out of your office back to the living room. “Um...where are the twins? The Miya’s I mean.” You asked when you saw that only Suna was chilling with a kid on each side of him. “Osamu needed to check up on his shop and Atsumu had to go to the gym. I decided to stay behind because I didn’t know how long you would take.” He replied.
“But didn’t you all carpool?” You asked and he nodded. “I can Uber. Don’t worry.” He said and you nodded and sat next to Rini. “Kids guess what.” You said happily and they both looked up from their tablets. “I go to the studio on monday—“ “THE STUDIO CAN WE GO?!” They immediately asked with bright eyes. “Uh—I don’t know guys, I’m working and Jamie has work too i don’t know if someone can watch you guys at the studio.” You said. “What time and I’ll go. I can keep them entertained.” Suna spoke up.
“I’m gonna be there for a few hours..I’ll have a read through of the script and a song audition before that..” you told him. “Wait what do you do anyways?” He asked curiously and the kids gasped. “You don’t know what mommy does for a living?! She’s the coolest mom in the world.” Rini exclaimed with extended arms to emphasize the world. “Listen to the voice of the narrator.“ Akira said and shoved the tablet in his hands. It was Peppa pig. Honestly they couldn’t find a cooler role you played in? Even the side characters were fine, but Akira had to choose peppa pig.
Rin listened to peppa as she scolded her little brother Georgie. And finally he heard your voice narrate what happened and his eyes widened. “No way, you’re a voice actor?” He asked and you nodded. “Wow imagine that. You were always so shy and now your voice is heard by millions across the world.” He teased and your face tinted.
“Well when you put it like that it freaks me out!” You snatched the tablet from his hands and the kids looked at each other with raised brows. “I’m only kidding. But it’s pretty amazing that you do that. Any big roles you’re playing soon?” He asked. “I may or may not be acting in Kimetsu No Yaiba.” You said which was a manga series you both were obsessed with when you were together. “Say sike right now.” He gasped and you gave him that I’m serious face.
“Congrats Y/N. That’s freaking amazing. May i ask who you’re voicing?” He asked and you shook your head. “That’s a secret.” You said and he sighed. “Man got my hopes up for nothing.” He muttered causing your kids to giggle.
“Momma we invited dad to the field trip tomorrow he said yes.” Akira spoke up and your eyes widened. “Wait what—“ “I didn’t necessarily say yes. I wanted to make sure it was cool with you, first. They told me that they were homeschooled and you take them to different places for field trips all the time.” He tried to correct Akira and you nodded.
“Well...I mean..if you want to go then it’s fine. We’re going to an aquarium.” You said and the kids gave him puppy dog eyes. “Alright I’ll go then. It’ll be fun and you guys can show me what you’ve learned.” He smiled softly and the kids cheered. Is this really a good idea? You don’t know. But if your kids are happy, then you’re happy.
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“Rin It’s getting late they have bath time and then they need to sleep.” You told him as the kids ran up and down the hall racing with Rini’s toy cars. “Alright then I’ll leave.” “I’m not kicking you out of anything-“ “No it’s fine I get it. I’ve intruded in your territory long enough.” He chuckled and you nodded. “Children of the corn! I’m leaving.” He called and immediately the kids emerged from the hallway and began whining and protesting. “You need to take a bath then go to bed. It’s late. I’m seeing you tomorrow anyways.” He knelt down on his knee to be of eye level with the kids.
“But we don’t want you to leave. I won’t sleep if you don’t read me a story.” Rini pouted and Akira nodded and you both sighed. “Fine, I’ll read you a bed time story and you will go sleep.” He told them and they nodded.
You rounded up the kids for a bubble bath and Rin was sitting on the counter as you explained what kind of kids soap you use and such. But he was mostly watching the kids play with the bubbles. “Hey Akira do you think I’ll look cool with my hair like this?” Rini asked with his messy wannable mohawk, he looked more like the grinch. Akira looked at her brother and snorted. “You look like a troll.” She muttered causing Rini to pout. “You’re so mean.” He mumbled. You got the shower head and told Akira to close her eyes as you finished washing her hair and body and she was finished. “Do you wanna try to finish Rini while I change Akira?” You asked Suna and his eyes widened. “I only know how to bathe my dog, I don’t know how to bathe a kid.” He protested. “Weren’t you watching me?” You asked. “I was distracted with the bubbles, okay.” He deadpanned and you sighed. “Rini help your dad.” You said plainly and left despite Suna’s protests.
“Alright princess, let’s get you dried up and ready for bed, yeah?” You asked the shivering girl in your arms and she nodded. You placed her on the bed and dried her hair a bit and you began to put on her lotion. You helped her into her underwear and she wanted to wear her fox onzie so you began helping her feet in when Rini stumbled in naked with Rin chasing after him with a towel. They were both soaking wet.
“Oh my god.” You sighed. “Boys.” Akira mumbled and you nodded. “You’re worse than washing a dog.” He said as he held him and dried his hair. “Woof.” Rini snickered and Suna flicked his forehead. “I’m soaking wet now.” He deadpanned to his son. You zipped up Akira after successfully placing her in her onzie and you moved on to your son. “Stop giving your dad such a hard time, he’s new to this whole parenting thing ya know?” You told him as you began to rub his face with lotion. “Akira go brush your teeth.” You told her and she pulled her dad along with her. “What do you want to wear to sleep?” You asked. “Can I wear my Fox onzie too?” He asked and you nodded. “Of course.” You replied and helped him into it too.
Rini went on his way to brush his teeth and you were met with the view of Rin helping his daughter floss and you just wanted to melt. This was so freaking cute. You don’t know if your heart could handle the cuteness. “Alrighty next victim!” Rin said and picked up Rini. He began to help him brush his teeth. You helped Akira down from the counter and she went off to look for a good book. You decided it was best to get one of Tobio’s shirts and shorts he had lying around for Rin so he wouldn’t get sick.
When Rini finished brushing his teeth, he went out to help Akira search for a book. “Are you still soaked?” You asked and Suna nodded. “Here wear this so you won’t get sick.” You tossed him some gym shorts and a random T-shirt. He gave a small thanks and you closed the bathroom door to leave him to change. “Alright where are my little foxes?” You hummed and you found your little demons kids jumping on your bed and patiently waiting to read. “Why aren’t you both in bed?” You asked and they stopped jumping and turned to you. “We wanna sleep here with you and daddy!” Rini said and you almost choked on air.
WITH RIN?! ARE THEY CRAZY OR CRAZY?
“Baby he’s not spending the night. He’s only going to read you a bedtime story then leave. You’ll see him tomorrow when you wake up.” You told them and they both had the saddest look on their faces. “But we wanna sleep with you and daddy. Please can he spend the night. Please please please!” Akira begged.
“I don’t mind if you don’t. It’s only for the night.” Rin almost whispered in your ear and you turned your head to him. “Are you sure? What about tomorrow? What are you going to wear?” You asked, “We can stop by my apartment in the morning before we head out.” He said and you raised a brow and turned back to your kids they were already comfy on the middle of your bed and you released your nth sigh of the day. “Fine, one night.” You answered and grabbed your pajamas and left to the bathroom to change.
When you returned Rin was on the left side of the bed with Rini right next to him. Akira patted your spot on the right side and you sat against the headboard of the bed. The twins had two books they wanted you both to read but they all fell asleep while you read the second one. You looked to see Rin, Rini and Akira sleeping and you can never get over how similar they looked like Rin. You quietly hopped out of bed and put the books away and turned off the lights.
You woke up to the sun shining on your face and arms around your waist. You felt a weight on your chest and you sighed and opened your eyes. You blinked a few times to make sure you weren’t seeing things but sure enough, Rin was sleeping on your chest. Just like old times and you tried to control your breathing. You don’t want to be the type of ex who yells and they fall off the bed. You realized the kids were not on the bed too and if Rin was cuddling you, then they must have been gone for a while.
“Rintarou—the kids—WAKE UP!” You quickly shook him and he opened his eyes and quickly moved away. He felt around him and he noticed the kids weren’t there. You both paused in silence to see if you can hear them but when you didn’t you quickly yeeted yourself off the bed with Rin following right at your tail. You opened the door to the twins room and you saw them in their own bed hugging their plushies. You held a hand over your chest and you leaned against the doorframe. “My heart literally dropped.” You turned to Rin.
“Mine did too. Do they usually do that?” He asked. “No, never.” You sighed and closed the door.
The twins opened their eyes and they looked at eachother from across the room. “I told you mom would get a heart attack. We’re lucky she didn’t cry.” Akira whispered. “Whatever at least they cuddled together like a nice married couple.” Rini whispered back and Akira nodded. “I hope mommy and daddy get back together.” Akira said. “They will, our plan is perfect.” Rini whispered mischievously and Akira smiled.
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TAGLIST IS CLOSED
🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime69 @tpwkatsumu @ohshirabu @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar
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barnesandco · 3 years ago
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Little Hands (IV)
Series Masterlist
Communication is key.
This is an entry for @star-spangled-bingo 2021. Word count: 2248. Square filled: “Sung to Sleep”
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: More Hydra Evilness, More Sad Child, Parental Anxieties. Brief mentions of war, sickness, death, grief. 
A/N: I know 2.2k words isn’t objectively a lot but boy did this feel like it. I hope every word is worth it and that you enjoy! Lmk what you think!!! Also I won’t even lie, the idea of Steve’s kids is 100% from one of my favorite comfort fics, family means no one gets left behind or forgotten, by the genius, the wonderful cosmicocean. IT’S SO SOFT. Pls read it.
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You’re stunned when Bucky tells you what’s going on. The idea that his daughter (?) was made in a lab like some kind of experiment, and that the man who led said experiment now wants her back like she is his property, his weapon, is too horrid to consider for very long. Weaponizing an innocent child. Hydra.
Bucky gave you the broad strokes of the investigation – currently running on little more than educated guesses based on the meagre intel they have – and has let you know that he has had to recuse himself from the case, due to his… personal connection. That leaves him somewhere he finds awkward, to say the least.
It's evident in the way the corners of his lips turn down, how he is constantly rubbing the pads of his fingers against the coarse scratch of denim, while he watches Ana watch Zoya, Steve’s 17-year-old daughter, working on a tablet. Zoya tucks a strand of hair behind her hijab, then continues to draw up a storyboard, narrating the events to the younger girl. Steve had apparently forgotten the lunch his kids had made him at home, so Zoya had brought it in, and decided to stay the day.
Ana’s quiet, attentive for the most part, listening with her full capabilities, but her eyes flit away from the screen every now and then to look at you and Bucky, as if to reassure herself that you’re still there.
Besides that, there aren’t all that many distractions present for an already precocious child. Most of the team has dispersed for the investigation, with the exception of Peter, who is sat at a table in the corner making intentionally fruitless efforts at teaching Morgan chess, while she giggles and tries to stack the pieces like Jenga blocks instead.
However, Bucky’s restlessness is infectious, and you think he needs to get it under check before it grows any further. That’s why you stand, saying, “Could we go for a little walk, Bucky?”
He nods, man of few words that he is, and leads the way. You’re sure he knows that you formulated it like a request for his benefit, but he doesn’t mention it. It’s just as well – that he knows you like that, and knows when to accept the proverbial hand being offered.
Bucky takes you to a corner of the roof that you’d mistake for a community garden if you didn’t know any better. The Avengers seem to have green thumbs, or at least, a significant portion of them do. They’re good with plants, and possessive about them, too. Autumn ferns grow outside the circle they seem to have been planted in – with a sign shouting Wanda! – to invade the territory of a vegetable garden labelled Bruce (accompanied by a Hulkish, green thumbs up presumably not drawn by the man himself).  
Meticulously maintained daylilies and columbines, in vivid reds and vibrant purples, litter the edges of the path that has been carved through this little paradise, and the birdhouses between them stake the claim of the owner more effectively than a neon sign screaming Sam Wilson. Bucky’s told you about his abilities, how they veer into the decidedly supernatural but Sam insists are only the residue of a childhood with homing pigeons.
Nothing here looks like Bucky’s, though. He seems to be taking it in, perhaps thinking about his own little paradise back in the city, and how he’s chosen to keep it distant from that of his teammates. That worries you. He worries you.
And this, the situation with Anastasia, becoming a father, it’s terrifying. Hell, if it scares you this much, how is he feeling? You ask him as much.
“Bucky, are you okay?”
He laughs, softly, disbelievingly, no malice in his scoff, only fear. Only the sound of a voice saturated with consternation and total, complete anxiety. “Would you be?” He asks back.
“That’s why I’m asking.”
Bucky evades the questions, turning first one way on the path, and then the other, approaching the edge clear of shrubbery and blooms alike, resting his palms on the top of the wall.
“I can’t be a father.”
The solemnity in his tone allows no room for negotiations, but then, neither do the facts. “You are,” you reply, somewhat hesitantly, because the technicalities of how Ana came to be are still a little blurry to you. She’s far from a normal child, and not quite a clone, either. She is of Bucky, though. His, in any way that counts.
“That little girl was created in a Hydra lab as a super soldier to serve the cause,” he says, shaking his head vigorously as the cause repulses him even more than it does you. “And who knows what else she was put through before SHIELD fell and Orlov got her out, and it’s my fault.”
“You didn’t—”
“I didn’t ask for it to happen but it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t happened. They used me to make a super soldier from scratch, and now I’m supposed to raise her? It’s not that simple. I’m not Steve. I can’t…”
Being honest, you feel you’re pretty far out of your depth here. But you’ve promised him your help, and you’ll do your best.
“You don’t have to. There are other options.” You’re sure you’re overstepping. Perhaps this gentle companionship has not yet reached the point where you can give advice on parenting. But if you don’t, who will? Steve, whose answers don’t enter the gray territory Bucky’s mind is residing in right now, who parents like he was born for it?
Steve chose fatherhood. Bucky has been nailed to it like it’s a new cross to bear, heavier than all the previous ones put together.
His gaze roams the grounds that stretch as far as you can see. You’re both far away from home right now, far outside your comfort zones.
“I’m sorry for dragging you into my mess, sweetheart. It’s not right. You have things to do, and I shouldn’t have—”
“Bucky, I’ve been staring at the same four sentences of dialogue for the past month. I literally could not have been happier to get out of the house. Even if I do wish it was under better circumstances,” you say fervently. You’re here because he needs you. Because Ana needs you. It’s nice to be needed.
“That’s one way to put it,” he smiles, and you’re glad to see it.
“Not to mention, it’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault except whoever your team is looking for,” you insist. “And Ana’s a sweet girl. A little quiet, but Baba says I was, too.”
This, Bucky thinks about. You wonder if he was a quiet child, too. “What’s he like?”
“Hmm?” The reverie snaps like a rubber band.
“Your father?” Bucky asks, shyly, his eyes meeting yours, letting you know exactly why he’s asking.
You look up at the clouds, think back to Boston, to time shared between the library and the park. A childhood with books, lunch breaks under a desk in an office at MIT, stealing his glasses and running away with them, rubbing at his stubbly beard like he was a housecat. Inside jokes with your father and rolled eyes with your mother. Laughter and tears, laughter with tears.
After a long while, trying and failing to summarize your father, you say, “A jokester. The most sarcastic person I know. But still kind of neurotic, to be honest. The kind of parent that makes you show up at the airport a full four hours before your flight.” It’s grossly insufficient. For a writer, you’re not very good with words. You suppose it’s not the words that are the problem; it’s the lifetime they have to encompass. “What about yours?”
Bucky sighs. “Soldier. He’s one thing I don’t feel bad for not remembering because it wasn’t Hydra that wiped those memories. He just died when I was really small. Survived the Great War only to be killed by TB a few years later at home.”
“I’m sorry.” You avert your eyes. Grief feels private, even decades later, even in the smallest doses.
He shakes his head, smiles fondly, up at the sky, too, like you did. Only, he’s smiling at it, like he’s thinking of someone beyond the clouds. “Don’t be. Was a long time ago.”
“That doesn’t mean it isn’t allowed to hurt anymore.”
“You sound like my therapist.”
“I sound like my therapist.”
At this, the two of you look at each other and burst into laughter. It feels forbidden, as though the severity of the situation condemns joy. That isn’t fair, you think. The situation is that of a child, and nobody needs laughter more than kids do. Food for the soul.
When the echo of your exhilarations falls, Bucky grows serious once more. “They have them for kids, now, too, right?” He asks, referring to therapists. “Do you think Anastasia should see one? She’s not exactly… normal, you know?”
“Maybe.” It’s a difficult question, but a good indicator of how Bucky is growing to feel about Ana. “You’d make a good dad, if you wanted to be one, Bucky,” you say, and mean it. It’s plain as day that he cares about her.
“I can’t even remember my own.”
“Parental instincts are intuitive, not genetic,” you tell him.
“You been reading handbooks?” He teases.
“You’d be surprised by how much you learn from the rabbit holes you fall down while researching books,” you deadpan.
“Can any of that research get the nightmares out of my head? I think it might scare a kid.”
The self-deprecation hurts, but your response is honest, heartfelt. “She likes you already.”
“She won’t if she thinks I’ve run away,” he answers, straightening up. He might be trying to evade the conversation, but you’ll let him, for now. He’s gotten some fresh air, had some time to clear his thoughts, or sort them, at least. And so you return, to the little girl who has a tighter grip on both of you than you even realize.
------
Ana grows unsettled as night darkens the sky. It could be the ruckus she isn’t quite used to. It could be the toy fire truck Tony has been altering with his utensils to increase its noise output, much to Morgan’s amusement. It could be the actual parrot perched on Sam’s shoulder.
Whatever the cause, she hasn’t succumbed to it enough to make a seat out of the fridge again. She’s sitting in her seat, between Bucky and yourself, eating the hummus Bruce and Wanda have made. Nat discusses sniper scopes with Clint, Peter tries to get away with eating the side of vegetables on Jordan’s plate without Steve noticing, and Bucky eats silently, eyes almost constantly on Anastasia, who takes it all in while her knee bounces up and down with an ever-increasing speed, much like her father’s.
You excuse yourselves soon after dessert, after Morgan has fallen asleep against Jordan’s arm on the couch, and Steve and Tony’s friendly debate is starting to develop the edge it tends to when they’ve been bantering for too long.
Bucky sets up on the sectional in his room, and leaves the ridiculously large double bed to you and Anastasia. It’s been a strange, strange day, and one can only hope that tomorrow brings some ease, a balm for the prickly, fiery ache that has settled over the man you care so much about.
------
When you wake, it’s because of singing. For half a moment, you think you’re in a dream, but as your eyes adjust to the blanket of dark, you see the shadow on the sofa nearby. Only, it’s bigger than just Bucky. Anastasia is sitting on his lap, her head cushioned against his chest. Scrambling for your glasses, and turning on the lamp on the bedside table, you notice that there are trails of drying tears on her little cheeks, and she’s still shaking with the aftershocks of whatever scare she must’ve had during the night.
Not for the first time, you curse your deep sleep that meant you didn’t wake with Ana, but watch in wonder as Bucky sings.
Hush, little baby, don't say a word Papa's going to buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird won't sing Papa's going to buy you a diamond ring
Ana’s eyes begin to close, but she fights the sleep. Bucky doesn’t let her. He lies down, easing her down beside himself, singing all the while.
And if that diamond ring turns brass Papa's going to buy you a looking glass
And if that looking glass gets broke Papa's going to buy you a billy goat
His voice fills the room, low though it may be, and he curls himself around Ana.
And if that billy goat won't pull Papa's going to buy you a cart and bull
And if that cart and bull turn over Papa's going to buy you a dog named Rover
She succumbs to the lull of his tone, his song, his promises, sighs a little sigh, lets the last, little hiccup leave her body.
And if that dog named Rover won't bark Papa's going to buy you a horse and cart
And if that horse and cart fall down You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town
Bucky lifts his hand from where it was stroking the hair at her temple, and lays his arm over his daughter. They’re safe, for now. Together.
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puckngrind · 4 years ago
Text
Skating Lessons: Part 33 - J. Anderson
Summary: Josh and reading tie the knot
Warning: language, quarantine, mentions of the bubble
Word count: 1,500
Series Masterlist
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"J, you are sure?" You look at the pavilion sitting on the river. Josh's arms tight around you. Mason watching for the next train to come by so he can wave.
"Baby, we can get married in our living room, Cam's backyard, the rose garden. This is open but also not confined." He moves your body to focus your attention to different aspects of the brick building with windows on either side giving the best view of Columbus.
"At least if it rains we won't get wet." You move your head to attempt to press your lips to his. Josh meets them softly.
"Ew!" Mason's voice bounces off the wall making you both laugh. "So is this where we are getting married?" He spins around in the open space like an airplane.
"Do you like it?" You lean down and hold his hands.
"Yup, you can almost see the arena from here plus the train!" Mason's attention moving to the train tracks over the river impatiently waiting again.
It was settled. Wedding plans were simple and easy even in the middle of a pandemic. Beth, your parents, Seth, and Oliver were the only ones attending. Josh coordinated the whole thing from calling dress shops, having a small cake, getting a minister to perform the ceremony, and making you feel so relaxed by everything.
Josh took Mason with him to Seth's to get ready and Beth picked up your mom to get you ready at home.
"You aren't even a little nervous are you?" Beth fixed your hair after slipping on your dress. It was simple, white lace dress that hit the floor. "I'm not even going to comment on your shoes." Beth giggled noticing the new Bride converses Josh somehow found.
"What?" You fixed your dress and looked at your mom in the mirror.
"They are perfect. You are perfect." Mom interjects and you see the water in her eyes. She knew the rumors about trades. She knew you and Mason moving was a real possibility but the smile said how happy she was for you.
"Let's get you married!" Beth does a little dance in her dress and moves you all to the door where you didn't realize your dad would be waiting.
"So, Josh told me to give you this." Your dad pulls out a small box and opens it up. A blue enamel lapel pin you knew was his grandfather's placed on top of a note. "Something borrowed and blue." Your dad hands the the pin to your mom and hands you the note. While mom pins it to your dress you read Josh's handwritten note.
Today begins our new adventure together.
See you down the aisle. I'll be the tall one in a dress shirt.
Love, Josh
You wipe a tear from your eye and laugh.
Before you realize it, you are hidden behind a brick wall waiting for the music to play. The sun was setting and the sunlight danced off the glass. Mason with Josh and Seth at the front while your mom, Oliver and his girlfriend sat in chairs spread apart.
Dad offers his elbow as Beth heads in.
"Ready baby girl?" He whispers.
"I hear our song. Let's do this!" You exhale and start to walk.
🎶'Cause every single day, before I knew your name I couldn't see your face, but I prayed for you Every heartbreak trail when all hope failed On the highway to hell, I prayed for you I kept my faith like that old King James Said I'm supposed to It's hard to imagine, bigger than I could fathom I didn't know you from Adam, but I prayed for you 🎶
Josh's eyes are the only ones you see. Full of love and only looking at you. Once you get to him you finally look around. Mason's little hand holding onto Josh's suit pants waiting for his part of the giving away the bride. You lean down and kiss his forehead.
"You look so handsome!" You tug at his matching tie.
"Momma, you look like a princess." Mason's voice echoes and you hear more than the few voices in the room laughing. Josh sees the confusion and points to Oliver. There you see the Anderson family and a few of your extended family members on a zoom call.
"Josh!" You clutch the 77 necklace and wave at the loved ones.
"Everyone can be here even now." He brushes your cheek and you feel him lean to kiss you then stop. "And Mace is right. You look like a princess." His face is flush and you feel the fire in your cheeks as well. The moment is broken by the officiant clearing his throat to start.
"Who gives this woman to wed this man?" You grip the flowers in your left hand trying not to giggle at the formality.
"I do." Mason's hand shoots up like he's in class. "And my grandpa!" He points over and your dad shakes his head.
"Well, perfect." The officiant continues.
The ceremony was short and sweet. You said your vows, exchanging of rings, Josh's mom read a passage from their family bible, and then the moment you could tell Josh had been waiting for.
"Josh, you may now kiss your wife." The officiant gestured towards you and Josh pulls you in by the waist.
"Wife." He smirks and presses a kiss to your lips bending you back just slightly. Cheers erupted from those on the screen and in the pavilion. You heard the distinct sounds of his teammates at the very end too. The sound of a camera lens made you jerk your head.
"She's been here the whole time. Masked and out of our way. You really thought I was going to marry you without wedding pictures?" Josh kisses your lips again.
"I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Anderson."
"Does that mean it's cake time?" Mason looks up at the two of you.
"Yes it does Mace. Want to help cut it?" Josh puts his hand in yours and you all walk to the other end where a small cake is placed. The three of you cut the cake. Feeding each other small pieces while Mason licks the icing. Oliver hands Josh the tablet and you say your goodbyes to those in person and online.
"Ready to go Mace?" Your mom chimes in.
"Go?" You look puzzled and look up at Josh.
"I may have gotten two days off to take you on a mini-honeymoon." Josh whispers in your ear.
"What? With the pandemic?" You are sure your voice cracked.
"It's a friend's place and it's been cleaned fully plus it's close." Josh kisses your temple. "It's safe. Promise." You nod and lean down to kiss Mason.
"How did you orchestrate all of this?" You finally asked Josh as you headed out of town. He lifts your interlocked hands up and kisses the back of your hand.
"Like your band?" He moves the two rings with his finger.
"Avoiding the question Mr. Anderson." You try a stern voice but laugh as he tightens his grip.
"Well, Mrs. Anderson." He stops and looks at you. "Damn it feels amazing to say that. Well, Mom did a lot of work from home before I asked if you wanted to get married before the playoffs. So she knew it could happen. And as for this honeymoon," he turns down a dirt road you didn't even see with the headlights. "Well, a former teammate owns this cottage." You see the porch light come into view. Josh turns the car off and jogs around the car to open the door.
"What about our bags?" You question.
"Seth brought them and a few groceries for us." the look of accomplishment clear on your husband's face.
"Wow." Is all you can say as Josh turns the door knob and you try to walk in.
"Hold on!" In one motion, Josh picks you up. "Gotta carry my wife across the threshold." He plants a kiss on you as he gracefully maneuvers your bodies into the doorway and kicks it closed. You kick a little thinking he will let you down but he peppers kisses over your skin as he makes his way to the bedroom. Finally placing your feet on the ground. His hands finding the zipper.
"Let me turn around." You whisper and turn so Josh can ease you out of your dress. He takes in your body like he's seeing you for the first time. "Josh..." You gulp.
"What baby?" He presses close to you and you slide your fingers down his buttons releasing them one by one. "Ready?" He pulls your chin up so you look him deep in his familiar pools of blue.
"For new adventures?" You cup his face and he leans into it.
"For a lifetime of me loving you? We are in this together." Josh pulls you further into him.
"Same, J. Forever." You lose your words as his lips find yours again.
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thr-333 · 4 years ago
Text
Mismatch- Part 2
Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020
Point? Plot? never heard of it! have some fluff instead!
First > Next
----
First class was called for boarding, leaving the twins behind to wait for economy boarding. They could afford first class, but didn’t want to make a scene with the rest of the class. They are distracted from the window when Lila joins the first class line. When she reaches the desk the twins can’t hear her talking but can see her crocodile tears as she likely spins a tale of woe. There is a sense of satisfaction between them as after some back and forth Lila is sent away in a huff. She goes back to the class and starts complaining, causing them to miss the call for domestic boarding.
“Let’s go,” Marion shrugs his backpack on and they went to board before the rest of the class. He wasn't about to let Lila somehow steal their seats.
As they board the plane they walk past their friends in first class, some seats around them still having people late to board. With a wave they continue on reaching their seats and storing their backpacks under the seats.
“Marion, make sure your devices are in flight mode,” Marinette commands, as she pulls out her tablet.
“Sure thing,” Marion pulls out his laptop, making sure both that and his phone were on flight mode. Marinette double checking.
“It’s just not fair,” They hear Lila whine as she walks past them to her seat.
“I know girl, I know,” Alya is following, patting her back.
Marinette ignores them and pulls out the safety manual, studying the two pages with the same intensity she does as Ladybug. Marion turned to the built in seat screen and browsed through the movies. Marinette was likely the only one on the plane who paid attention during the safety demonstration. When the plane started moving Marinette grabbed onto Marion's hand. It was fine until the plane started to speed up, the grip getting tighter. When the plane lifted off Marion's hand was almost crushed with no magic ladybugs to save it.
“You know for a bug-”
“Nope, na-ah, not now,” Marinette grits through her teeth. Marion sighs and resigns to his hand being crushed.
Fine they had been in a bubble hundreds of meters above Paris looking straight down, but apparently that was nothing compared to a plane. When the seatbelt sign turned on Marion could swear in less than a minute Chloe magically appeared.
“Come on, there's spare seats near us, the people were a no show,” Chloe said, hands on hips.
“I don’t know Chloe, is that even allowed?” Marion asks, trying to pry his hand free.
“I’ll be fine,” Chloe waves him off, not answering the question. She looks at Marinette. “I’ll start jumping,”
“Let’s go!” She releases Marion’s hand and grabs her backpack. Marion shakes out his hand to get the blood flow back, then inspects the marked skin. He follows after them moving his fingers cautiously.
“Marion, your bag,” Chloe sighed, sending him running back to get it.
When Marion caught up they were already seated. Marinette, Kagami and Chloe were in a row of three by the window, while Adrien sat at the row in front. Marion climbed awkwardly over the person sitting at the aisle to reach the spare seat.
Adrien says a quick hello, not looking away from the window.
“It’s normal to be nervous on your first flight,” Kagami assures Marinette, not knowing wasn't her first flight. “Just breath, where would you prefer to sit?”
“Maybe somewhere out of reach of my hand,” Chloe speaks up, cradling her hand.
“It’s ok Marinette, I don’t really like planes either,” Adrien confesses, giving a weak smile over the seat.
“Well there we go you two should sit together,” Chloe dictates, “Come on Marion, up you get, you too Marinette,”
Chloe herds them out of their seats. Marion sheepishly apologises to the aisle person as they climb over them again. Marion sits at the Aisle now with Chloe at the window and Kagami in the middle. Marion peaks over the seats to see the two blushing messes. Marinette holding Adrien's hand, surely for no other reason than fear. It was effective either way as both seemed completely distracted by each other.
“Nice move,” Marion whispers to Chloe as he sits back down.
“I know, and as such I get to choose the movie,” Looking at the disposable headphones with disdain.
“We have our own screens,” Kagami points out.
“Then we’ll just have to start at the same time,” Chloe huffs, plugging the headphones in.
After a painful twenty minutes Chloe eventually settles on some romantic comedy Kagami and Marion had never seen which was ‘ridiculous’ and ‘unacceptable’.
“On my count, go,” Chloe presses play followed by Marion.
“That's not a count,” Kagami argues, the movie not playing.
“Of course it is,”
“You didn’t count,”
“That’s true,” Marion's screen lagging slightly behind Chloe.
“Fine,” Chloe rewinds back to the start, “One, two-”
“Wait I’m not ready!” Marion exclaims, struggling to rewind his. “Ok, now,”
“One, two, three” Chloe presses play, Kagami having pressed it a second before.
“Why?” Chloe hisses, as the screens play out of sync.
“You didn’t specify on or after three,” Kagami explains.
“After three!”
“How was I supposed to know?”
“Ugh, fine let's do it again, One, two-”
“Maybe we should do, ready, set go,” Marion interrupts, a grin on his face.
“No!” Chloe screeches.
“I think I should count,” Kagami interjects, straight faced. Marion isn't sure if she's serious or helping him mess with Chloe or not.
“No! I’m doing it and I’ll be counting,” Chloe seethes.
“Ok, ok,” Marion rewinds his screen,
“One, two-”
“So on or after three?”
“Ahhhhhh!”
After getting bored(being scared for his life) Marion finally lets them start the movie. That doesn't mean he’s done messing with Chloe, as he decides the comedy isn't comedic enough and has to make jokes throughout. Has to it is not his choice, the black cat beckons.
“Why would she not tell him that in the first place,” Kagami inquires.
“I don’t know, she just didn’t,” Chloe grumbles, keeping her eyes glued to the screen.
“It would have avoided a lot of problems,” Kagami decides.
“Well if you wanted needlessly complicated romance we’ve got front seats to the best one this century,” Marion smiles, adding, “And I’m not talking about the movie,”
At that they all stand to peek over seats at the two love birds leaning against each other asleep. Chloe snaps a photo leaning right over them to get the best angle. They all photobomb the background.
“We need to make a collage of all the times this has happened over the years,” Chloe sighs, showing them the photo.
“The piece of resistance will be them in their wedding outfits, sleeping after the reception,” Marion looks down at his phone to see Chloe had somehow sent him the picture, despite him looking at her phone the whole time, “Witchcraft,”
“They would, wouldn't they?” Chloe shakes her head.
“If they ever start dating,” Kagami mutters, also looking down to see Chloe had sent her the picture as well.
“Kags, the only ones that don’t know their dating is them,” Marion assures.
“Shush, this is the good part,” Chloe waves her hand at them, staring at the screen.
“It has a good part?” Marion asks, having to dodge the purse thrown at him.
They were halfway through the movie when Madame Bustier approached them, followed by Lila.
“Marion, what are you and Marinette doing up here?” She demands.
“The seats were spare so I told them too,” Chloe stops Marion before he can apologise.
“That doesn't mean you’re allowed to take them, you should have offered them to another student like Lila,” Madame Bustier reprimands, gesturing to Lila.
“If they can’t be here then neither can she,” Kagami grabs Lila’s wrist before she can shake Marinette awake.
“B-but my tinnitus!” Liela cries, Marion has to grab Kagami's other hand before she can place it over Lila’s mouth.
“Won’t be affected by where on the plane you sit,” Chloe glares.
“What do you know?” Lila sniffs, trying to shake Kagami's grip.
“Surprisingly, I actually researched it, unlike you,” Chloe spits out.
“How dare-”
“Excuse me,” A flight attendant approaches them, “is everything ok here?”
“No,” Liela turns on her crocodile tears pointing at the twins with her free hand. “These two are meant to be in economy, and I was told there were no spare seats in first class, they must of stolen someones seat!”
“Ridiculous,” Chloe huffs.
“Sir could I please see your ticket?” The flight attendant asks Marion. Marion freezes and stutters to explain, Lila looking smug.
“Right here,” Chloe fishes two boarding passes out of her purse and hands them over. The flight attendant inspects them, Marion giving them his passport before they ask.
“My apologies,” They tell Marion, handing back the passport and boarding pass, turning to Lila. “Miss these are their seats, I have to ask you to return to yours,”
“What!” Lila screeches.
“Miss I have to ask you to please be quiet, there are passengers sleeping,” The flight attendant is sterner now. Madame Bustier guides a complaining Liela away.
“Sorry for the confusion,” The flight attendant tells them.
“It’s fine,” Chloe has a vindictive smile on her face as she watches Lila storm off. When she turns around she sees Marion is smirking. “What?”
“You just happened to have two extra boarding passes, huh?”
“Of course, I wanted to have a row to myself, but you two looked so pouty when I left that I decided to give them to you,”
“Right, and they just happen to have our names on them?” Marion prodded, holding them out as proof.
“Uh, yeah? I couldn’t check in three times, I had to use your name,” Chloe snatches the boarding passes away.
“How did you even get our information to do that?” Marion asks, now genuinely confused.
“Anything is possible with money,”
“Foreboding… but true,” Marion considers, “Hey Chlo?”
“What?”
“Thanks,” Marion gives her the biggest smile possible.
“Whatever, you can thank me by letting me choose the next movie as well,” Chloe turns back to the screen.
“I’m not that grateful,” He has to doge her purse again.
Food comes part way through their second movie, that they let Chloe choose anyway. They gently shake Marinette and Adrien awake. Adrien groans at the thought of more food, but is too polite to turn it away.
“What is this slop?” Chloe asks, poking her fork at it like it might attack her.
“It's worse in economy,” Marion points out, eating his with only a small grimace.
“How is that meant to make me feel better?” Chloe sneeres.
“Because Lila and Sabrina are eating it now,” Marion smirks evilly, Chloe mirroring him.
“I’m still not eating it,” Chloe turns her nose up.
“You can have this,” Kagami hands over a container of assorted sushi. “I brought it, but it’s nothing compared to the sushi in Japan,”
“Thanks,” Chloe actually smiles, but would never admit to the slight blush dusting her cheeks. “Here Mari you can have this,” Chloe passes him the tray.
“Thanks Chlo, but I don’t like it either,” Marion pushes it back. Frustrating Kagami with all the reaching over her.
“At least take the cheese, I know you like that,” Chloe drops it on his tray.
“Wha- oh yeah, thanks,” Marion remembers Plagg, so he can't hand it back(not at all because he’s afraid of what Kagami will do if someone reaches across her again).
“You can have mine as well,” Kagami places the matching cheese neatly on top of Chloe’s.
“Do you want mine too?” Adrien asks reaching over the seat to hand it to him. “I don’t really like cheese,”
“Oh… thank you,” Marion says awkwardly, taking it.
“Here you can have mine as well,” Marinette reaches out, grinning over the seat. Marion glares at her, taking the cheese. She sticks out her tongue and sits back down.
When no one is looking Marion sneaks the cheese into his bag. He tries not to yelp as a few seconds later Plagg bites him. Marion excuses himself to the bathroom, taking his satchel.
“Plagg, what gives?” Marion asks, opening up his bag.
“What gives? you expect me to eat that trash? While Kaalki and Tikki eat a mountain of chocolate, are you so crule?” Plagg sticks his ‘nose’ up.
“It’s cheese,” Marion argues, picking up a piece.
“That is an insult to all of cheese,” Plagg points at the offending block.
“Too bad, it’s because of you everyone thinks I’m obsessed with cheese, so take some responsibility,”
“Never!”
“If you don’t eat it, I’m going to throw it out, so what's worse? Bad cheese, or wasted cheese?” Marion asks.
“Hmmmm…. Uhhhhhhh……. Ahhhhhh,” The Kwami looks like he’s in actual pain having to decide this, “.......... Fine!”
He stuffs the block into his mouth.
“Plagg you have to unwrap it first,” Plagg spends the rest of dinner pouting, as Tikki happily chomps on her Toblerone blocks with Kaalki.
After eating Marinette and Adrien decide to also try watching a movie together. They somehow take even longer to get it set up. Considering they can hardly use a full sentence around each other. Kagami eventually gets frustrated enough that she leans over and presses play for them. Marion, Chloe and Kagami finish watching their movie and decide to sleep the rest of the flight away. Chloe brings out her neck pillow and sleeping mask, seat reclined as far as it can go. Marion takes off the horse miraculous placing it carefully in the glasses case and then in his satchel. When he sits back up Chloe and Kagami are leaning against each other, apparently soundly asleep. Marion pretends he doesn't see both peeking at each other.
“Ah, to be the fifth wheel is a mighty achievement,” Marion whispers to himself, trying to disappear into his neck pillow.
Marion blearily wakes up to Kagami, Chloe and Adrien whispering. Marinette had fallen asleep again and was leaning against a blushing Adrien’s shoulder. He pretends he doesn't see this, reaching into his bag to grab the horse miraculous. He checks the flight path to see they only have two hours to go. Stretching as much as possible he chats with the others until Marinette wakes up over an hour later. They start talking about what they’ll do in Gotham, their excitement rising.
“There's an Akuma attack,” Chloe says looking down at her phone.
“What? how do you know?” Marinette shares a glance with Marion.
“Just got an alert,” Chloe gestures to her phone.
“It’s not in flight mode!” Marinette hisses.
“Of course not I-”
“Chloe put it in flight mode right now,” Marinette reprimands, as she climbs out of her seat with her bag, “I’m going to the bathroom,”
“... I’d better go check on her,” Marion declares, as Chloe turns her phone to flight mode, muttering that nothing happened.
He knocks on the bathroom door Marinette is in and is pulled in by Ladybug.
“Lets go, come on,” She says, bouncing in place.
“Plagg, Kaalki, Combine!” With a flash of light Marion is transformed, and with another they are off to Paris.
They have to be back in their seats for the descent that should be starting any minute now so they transport to the Akuma. Hoping they just run into Monsieur Rat. Instead they find a new Akuma, frustrating now having to find the akumatized object. They seemed to be a plant based, judging by the forest growing out of the sidewalk. Marion drops his transformation with the horse Miraculous, leaving regular Chat Noir. He passes a sugar cube to Kaalki telling the Kwami to stay put.
Ladybug charges in without him, trying to wrap her yo-yo around the Akumas tree like body. The Akuma breaks off the branches to get free, growing them back immediately. It sends out vines like whips, that the two dodge getting forced back. As Marion is forced back he trips over some moving roots getting sent sprawling back.
"Chat Noir," He hears a scared whisper to the side. Looking he sees a hand sticking out from under the roots and an eye peeking out from underneath.
"Don't worry," He gently takes the civilians hand, small enough to be a Childs, "me and Ladybug will save you,"
"Don't you mean Ladybug and I?"
"Never mind you can stay here," Chat teases, sticking his tongue out making the kid giggle.
He feels something wind around his leg. Looking down to see roots start to encircle it.
"Uh, Ladybug!" He tries to pull his legs free. Ladybug drops down next to him, helping him get free. He gives the kids hand one last squeeze before jumping to a roof with Ladybug.
"The civilians are trapped under the roots," Chat Noir reports.
"Inside as well," Marion looks out to see buildings cocooned in roots. "I freed some civilians, the Akuma went after them, you need to find it,"
Chat Noir nodded extending his baton to survey the surrounding area. He spots the Akuma from above, using his enhanced vision to study it.
"Chat!"
He looks down to see roots winding up his baton. He jumps off the top and is caught by Ladybug, as she swings them away. Marion looks back at his Baton to see roots circled around it like a tall tree without branches.
"Won't be using that for awhile," He muses, "Piggy back ride?"
"Yeah right," Ladybug snorts, "Wheres the Akuma?"
"That way," He points, "I noticed a poster hanging from one of the trees branches, it must be the akumatised object,"
"Alright lets go!" Ladybug drops down on a roof where the Akuma can't see them.
“Just stay calm, rushing isn’t going to help us here,” Chat Noir grabs her wrist pulling her back.
“You’re right Chat,” Ladybug takes a breath, “But that doesn't mean we can’t get a helping hand, lucky charm!”
"A ribbon? I think weed killer would have been more useful,"
"Very funny, I need you to tie this around the branch with the poster," Ladybug hands it to him.
"Got it,"
Marion jumps off the roof onto the trees branches. It screeches trying to grab him. Chat Noir summons his cataclysm destroying the branches that reach for him. While the tree is distracted severing the decaying branches Chat drops down to the branch with the poster, tying it around. The tree severs the branch as well, dropping it right into Ladybugs waiting arms. The trees branches wrap around Chat, giving Ladybug time to destroy the poster and purify the Akuma. Chat Noir is freed by the ladybugs, placing him back on the ground and returning his staff.
"Pound it,"
Kaalki comes out of hiding, Marion transforms before the press can delay them. He opens a portal right back into the stall. Detransforming and rushing back to their seats.
“Are you ok?” Kagami asked, as they buckle their seat belts.
“I will be once I get off this plane,” Marinette answers, Adrien offers his hand.
When they land they get to be the first ones off. They wait for the class. Madame Bustier does a headcount before they go through border security as a class, before moving on to pick up their bags. Alix and Kim ram their trolleys together as they wait for their bags to arrive. Madame Busier looked tired she didn't even try to stop them.
Chloe had to have her own trolley for her five bags, the rest managing to carry a single bag. The class headed for security separately. Marinette and Marion were stopped for a bag search because of a ‘concerned anonymous tip’ that they were bringing food in. No one else saw them get taken aside. The twins were thankful they left their vigilante costumes at home to be picked up later.
“And what's this?” The security guard asks, holding the polka dotted Miracle box.
“A jewellery box,” Marinette opens it up showing the miraculous. “Its a birthday present for our aunt who lives here,”
The guard nodded, not finding anything wrong. They sent them on their way, the rest of the class had made it through already. The twins walked outside, trying to spot their classmates or the bus.
‘Where are you?’ He texted Chloe
‘On the bus, you said you had another ride?’
‘No?!’
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fallenfurther · 3 years ago
Text
Homecoming - Earthbound
Chapter 2 of Homecoming. John and Jeff.
Thank you for the response to my first chapter and Josie will return later on as the story develops.. The next few chapters are set  within the last episode of the series  , between Jeff returning to the island and stepping out Thunderbird Two and him sitting down to take the rescue call. There is no way Jeff is fit and health after eight years alone in space, so these chapters fill in that recovery and continues as he finds his place within the family and organisation again. 
This chapter is an emotional one, so trigger warnings for trauma, death, last wishes. 
*********
Jeff placed his cutlery down on the empty plate, before leaning back into the cushioned back of the chair. The food was excellent, though anything was better than what he'd survived on for the past eight years. It helped that he knew there was no expense spared for his stay. It felt so strange but comfortable to feel full again and his body was feeling better for it. The nurse popped her head around the door and smiled.
"Want me to take the tray from you?"
"Yes please."
Lauren swished her way over to him, picked up the tray and left him alone. Jeff had various therapy sessions and doctors checking in on him and he welcomed the breaks from them. He just had to keep looking forward, knowing that the light at the other end was to spend the rest of his life with his sons. How he'd missed them. Each one imprinted in his mind, clear as day, spurring him on. They visited him when they could, though it depended entirely upon the number of callouts and if someone was fit enough to fly. International Rescue seemed much busier now than eight years ago. Eight years away from everything. So much had stayed the same and yet the important stuff had grown and changed. Particularly his little Alan. He was the smallest, just, but he'd matured, become more confident and was an amazing astronaut. Normally he would have been angry at Scott and the boys for letting someone so young fly Thunderbird Three. He'd always known the dangers of space. A teenager doesn't. But having seen Alan pilot Thunderbird Three, making her dance elegantly between asteroids, he understood. Alan had flown the Zero-XL to save him. The talent that boy had was incredible. How could Jeff deny the boy who followed so much in his own footsteps, who shared his passion for space? It pained him to know he hadn't been around to help nurture it.
Jeff forced himself out of his chair, joints complaining from his physiotherapy session that morning. The gravity in the Oort cloud had been variable but being back on Earth it had an intensity he could get no reprieve from. John had suggested a skint on Thunderbird 5, but the doctors insisted he have no Zero-G exposure until he was medically fit, insisting his body needed to adjust to gravity first. They also ruled out a trip in Thunderbird Three as the forces that would be applied to his still healing body would be too intense. Jeff was itching to witness Alan fly the Thunderbird first hand. Jeff opened the patio door and stepped out into the warm breeze and sunshine. He still had moments of panic when he realised he didn't have a helmet on, or when he realised it wasn't close by, but the fresh air transported him back to the time before he was stranded. Even now it didn't always feel real, being on Earth. Almost two months and he still had to pinch himself sometimes, still shed tears at the sight of his boys visiting. The small private garden attached to his room was a small haven where he could get used to the world again. He followed the path to the plant-laced wooden gazebo beneath which a table and chairs stood waiting. He took a stroll down the small path circling it, not quite ready to sit yet, the wind chimes tickling above him as he brushed his hand through the purple flowers, sending a wave of lavender in the air.
Eventually he had to sit down. His tablet was on the table where he'd left it that morning. Flicking it on, he pressed his thumb to the corner, activating International Rescue's secure network. John had willingly let him have access, walking him through the new filing system before letting him loose on it. Jeff was sure John or that little AI of his was monitoring every document he saw. He opened up yet another mission report, he'd started making a timeline of rescues, only for it to be completed by EOS, listing the main statistics such as time, craft used, and which sons were involved. The timeline was worrying. International Rescue had started off slow, only going to major rescues, however nowadays barely two days went by without a need to be called out. International Rescue had response times and equipment that outmatched local agencies, but it meant his boys were often being pushed to the limits. There were meant to be fail-safes in place and compulsory downtime to stop back to back working, but all that had been side-lined so lives could be saved. He'd started with the older reports and with each one his sons got better and more efficient at writing them, but he was starting to see their exhaustion. International Rescue hadn't been designed for the workload it was taking on and something was going to snap. Jeff feared it would be his boys. He'd just got them back and now he feared he'd lose one of them.
It was never meant to be this way. Jeff had expected a little increase in workload, but nothing like this. The GDF had tried to help, as he'd found out from the last report about their robots, but that had proved unsuccessful. He didn't want to raise it with them, not yet at least. Jeff planned to finish catching up with the reports, machine specifications and chat with Brains to see what had happened and what could be done. An idea was already forming, but he knew he had to be careful, and knew he couldn't step on anyone's toes. He could see his place in International Rescue wasn't where it used to be, though it had been suggested that he take over the comms so John could rest or do other work. However, this wouldn't solve the problem. They all loved him, were so happy he was back and yet it was exhausted men that visited him. They came often in ones or twos, often with bags under their eyes, sometimes even straight from a rescue in Virgil and Gordon's case, showering on Thunderbird Two which would be parked on the green behind the facility. They would come in trying to hide how tired they were to see him, sometimes a guilty look if they hadn't come sooner. Jeff understood now, he would complain if he didn't want to see them so badly. He should send them home with a clip around the ear and set his mother on them. Instead he opened his arms and embraced them, forever thankful that he still could.
He turned back to the reports, chimes filling the air with each light gust. He only looked up when some light footsteps came along the path, and a smile crossed his face. John, still in his uniform, settled into the chair before him.
"Afternoon Dad."
The smile on his son's face reached his tired eyes. John's inconsistent sleep was something Scott had mentioned. Getting John to sleep properly or to get him out of orbit was a challenge. Though he would often find time to pop down using the space elevator and would get Mum to help EOS with monitoring the world.
"Afternoon John, I'm guessing everything is going well? Will your brothers be joining us?"
"It is and no, they won't," John yawned, "it was a nineteen hour rescue so they are all catching up on sleep."
"Like you should be."
John rolled his eyes bringing a smile to Jeff's face. How many times had the boy done that as a teenager? Memories flooded back of John curled up with a book, Gordon, Alan or both on the living room floor, only for him to roll his eyes at something one of them had said. It was mainly Gordon, informing Alan of things that weren't quite true.
"I couldn't sleep."
"How about we go sit on the bench in the corner, the cushions make it extremely comfortable."
John nodded. Jeff brought the tablet with him and got up, his pace slower than his son's. John already had the cushions out the base and was on the seat when Jeff got to him. They sat down side-by-side, Jeff placing his arm over John's shoulder and pulling him close. His son didn't resist, laying his head against Jeff’s chest. This was the contact Jeff craved. Devoid of it for so many years, he still needed to be reminded that this was real.
"People died."
Jeff sat still, not saying the many things he could, knowing John needed time. John needed to work himself through it, needed to speak and be heard. So Jeff waited.
"It was a mudslide following an earthquake. Collapsed buildings and mud. That's what they had to deal with this time."
"Mud is like snow, it takes and rarely gives back. Hundreds of people are still missing, many bodies that may never be recovered, or will have to be DNA matched to be identified. We can do earthquakes and mudslides, we're efficient, but it takes its toll."
"They are all exhausted, physically and mentally. Grandma's enforced downtime but I don't know how long it'll last. Another rescue and they'll all be up and away before she can stop them. I would ground the craft for her but that would only cause suppressed anger to rise."
John's gaze was aimed at the ground, his whole body was unearthly still except for the rise and fall of his ribcage. Jeff knew John was thinking, debating what to say next. As the minutes passed and John remained silent Jeff knew it was time to coax it out.
"What about you? What weight are you carrying?"
John's fingers flexed, a hesitation, debating whether to share what was weighing him down more than gravity. It was the reason John was here, Jeff knew John saw and heard things the others didn't think about. Or if they did, they were helpless to do anything about it. John needed someone he could trust. He needed his father. Jeff's thumb started to rub the man's shoulder, offering more comfort.
"I…there were just so many people. They all had phones, all calling in. Some were petrified, others screamed, children and adults all with the same fear in their voices. All asking for help, to be rescued. Some were fine but it was a friend or family member in trouble. I talked to one young man through first aid, he had to tourniquet his younger brother's leg. His brother had already lost a lot of blood and was unconscious. I got Gordon to go there but when he found them it turns out the young man was in shock. He hadn't wanted to believe his brother was dead and he had done the first aid on the body. He had refused to leave his brother. It took Gordon five minutes to drag him away."
"I went straight from that to a child who was hurt and her mother wasn't responding. She cried; cried so much. She screamed when Virgil unpinned her arm and again when she realised he was leaving her mother behind."
A tear skipped down John's cheek. Jeff kept quiet, knowing too well what the screams of a child for a dead parent were like; how much they pierce your heart and tear into your soul. No matter whose child it was always painful.
"I heard so many last words. I've a document of names and last requests. Things they wanted to say. They are mainly 'I love you' to various family members and spouses. So many people wish they had said it more. I heard so many phone lines go quiet."
Another tear.
"I was working flat out, Grandma was taking calls from the island, but I still want to have done more. I wanted to save more. Maybe if I had directed Scott here and Virgil there or if I could have kept her calmer her rescue wouldn't have taken so long. So many lives were lost. So many we couldn't save. It's our job to save people. We should have saved them."
Jeff reached his right arm up and hugged John, tears silently falling. He knew there would always be rescues like this, where no matter what they did, many people would still die. There was nothing that could be said or done to fix it. The pain would always be felt. Holding his son, he let John cry it out in a safe place. It was his job, as a father, to be there when his sons needed him. He knew from the reports that he wouldn't be going out on rescues, his body too old and damaged to keep up with his boys. But just as his mother had, Jeff knew he would find his place again. He was still needed, even if it was just to answer the odd call, to help as Mum had all this time, to shoulder that burden and still be there at the end of the day, to help them process it all.
His eyes fell onto the mop of ginger hair, messed up by the position they'd been in, and smiled. It was the result of a hidden gene that had popped up and Lucille had adored it. It shone in direct sunlight and would give John an angelic glow. He’d been their quiet angel. Hardworking, often out of sight, but always there. The man's eyes were closed and he had become a dead weight against Jeff. It'd been more than eight years since a son had fallen asleep in his arms. There would be no complaint from Jeff. He would sit here for as long as John needed. Jeff peered down at his boy, heart full of love and pride for the quiet reserved man.
"I love you son."
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hadtochangemyurlquick · 4 years ago
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here’s 5.7k of the unsinkable 8 during the zombie apocalypse. good for fans of leatin and goodfoe. it’s super unedited and i’m mainly just posting it for fun cause i finished it today. some references to world war z the book for fun, and i used the zombies from that too.
A flash of blonde and Dot’s gun went up, pointed directly at the head of whatever made their way toward her. She had two bullets left, six cigarettes, and the last mini of hard liquor she raided from the motel back in Aquilla.
She’d have to get it in one shot, which would be hard sitting down, with her back to it, half delirious.
She grunted as she pulled herself around, her leg still out in the makeshift splint. The zed crept closer, not going at the usual hobbling pace. It definitely had caught her scent though, maybe it was down a few limbs already.
She cocked her gun, flicking off the safety, keeping her finger off the trigger. She’d wait until she could see the whites of its eyes. Get it in one shot.
The blonde head crept closer and she finally tucked her gun over the rocks, making eye contact with it for the first time.
“Shelby Goodkind?”
“Dot Campbell?”
Shelby stared at her, lowering her own gun and Dot let out a breath of relief.
“Dottie, oh my god, I thought you were one of ‘em.” She put away her gun, Dot doing the same and she ran over. “It’s so good to see ya, what’s wrong?” She looked at the leg, her face paling.
“Ankles broken,” Dottie muttered. “Was gonna treat myself to one last drink,” she gestured at the bottle.
“Oh lord,” Shelby said. “Well that’s no good, I got a place not to far from here I’ve been camping out in. Some first aid stuff too.”
“I can’t give you anything back for it,” Dot said.
“We both know two people are more likely to make it,” Shelby said.
She looked sunburned and hollowed out, a little hungrier than the last time Dot saw her, headed with her family to that military base. She was alone, and desperate, everyone was. Because here was how it went in Texas. You could trust a stranger as far as you could throw ‘em, but you needed people to live. So if you had people, you lived. And Dot was people, or as close to people as Shelby was willing to get. She musta lost a lot to lower her standards so far.
“Alright,” Dot said. “We’re gonna have to go slow and you’re gonna have to carry a lot of shit.”
“No problem,” Shelby beamed.
Back at the camp, an old rusting trailer with some battery Shelby told her she was saving for a rainy day, Shelby re-splinted her, fed and watered her, and they pooled their resources. Twenty-six cigs now, which might get ‘em a few hours in a safe car north, if they wanted it. Or it might get ‘em some food, or a get out of jail free card, depending on the hunger of the people hunting ‘em.
It was late at night when Dot realized she hadn’t even asked yet.
“Family’s gone then?”
“Yeah,” Shelby said. “You?”
“My dad died before this shit show,” Dot said.
“Lucky,” Shelby said. She took a swig from the mini, and passed it over to Dot. “What’s your plan?”
“I heard there was a safer spot near San Antonio,” Dot said. “Running water and shit.”
Shelby shook her head, “Gone, three weeks ago. Heard it on the radio.”
Dot nodded, “What about you?”
“Radio said Hawaii’s better,” Shelby said. “There’s an operation ferrying people there on the west coast. It’s a thousand cigs per person. But there’s work by the dock if you’re willing to do it.”
“Work for you?” Dot asked.
Shelby’s jaw tightened, “I’ll do what I have to do. Lord forgive me.”
Dot sighed, “Sounds like we go west then.”
They hung around in the trailer for three days, pushing the limits of what was safe, and stumbled on to a new place in the area at daybreak on the fourth day. Dot’s ankle wasn’t broken, with the inflatable cast Shelby had in a week or so she’d be something regarding useful, and as long as she didn’t push herself she’d be more than fine.
Spending time with Shelby Goodkind was another story. For one thing, despite the zombie apocalypse, complete destruction of their lives and modern society, the death of her family and everyone in their town, Shelby was still good and kind. She’d clutch at the cross around her neck every time they’d pass a body, and would never touch one, even the ones that were recent and obviously not stripped clean. It made Dot kinda mad, she found five cigs just walking, and she wondered how many Shelby passed off being squeamish.
But Shelby also wasn’t squeamish, wasn’t afraid to take down a zed with a kitchen knife, and with that same hand wipe the gore off Dot all gentle. She called her Dottie, gave her the last blanket, and always volunteered for the first shift so Dot could watch the sunrise. Dot hadn’t been cared for in a long while, hadn’t been around people in even longer. She decided she might love it.
But Shelby was a magnet, always had been, she talked about god’s light long enough that she got Dot believing it all fell on her. It wasn’t a real surprise when she showed up with a stray.
“What the fuck,” Dot said. “Did you kidnap a child?”
“I did not kidnap a child,” Shelby said, picking the girl up with some difficulty and lifting her onto the backseat of the broken down minivan they were holed up in.
“I sent you out to get sunscreen,” Dot said. “How did you come back with a child?”
“She’s our age,” Shelby said. “I think. And listen, I found her barricaded in a utility closet with a bad fever, I knew we had some tablets but I didn’t wanna leave her.”
“Like bite fever?” Dot asked. “We don’t have enough bullets to—”
“No,” Shelby shook her head, “Look,” she gently unwrapped a bandage around the girl’s arm, revealing a bad slice. “It’s infected. Not a bite. We’re okay.”
Dot sighed and nodded. The girl’d probably try and rob ‘em blind but if they watched her hands and got away fast enough they should be fine. They’d be fine.
“You’re more trouble than you’re worth,” Dot muttered. Shelby smiled, all sweet and gentle and bright and Dot rolled her eyes.
The girl took the tablets, they washed and changed the bandages, after about fourteen hours she blinked awake, unfortunately while Dot was on watch.
“Who—who are you?”
“Dot Campbell,” she said.
The girl stared at her.
“My friend saved your ass,” Dot said. “Shelby.”
“Um,” the girl inched back, “Why? Where am I?”
“We’re on the twenty-two, not from from the ten-eighty,” Dot told her. “You got a nasty infection there, got any cigs?”
“No, I don’t smoke.”
Dot blinked at her. “Alright then.”
“My friends will be looking for me,” the girl said. “I should get back to them.” She didn’t have an accent, Dot realized, not even a thin one like her own.
“Shelby found you around Mr. K’s, we can draw you a map if you’d like,” Dot said. “Where you from?”
“Austin,” the girl lied, badly.
“Alright then,” Dot said again. “Well we’ll draw you a map in the mornin and you can leave a day break. It ain’t far.”
“Thank you,” the girl said. “For helping me.”
“Shelby’s idea,” Dot said. Neither of ‘em slept the whole time, the girl smart enough to keep an eye out, and Dot’s whole job to watch out. She woke Shelby up when she was supposed to and easily muddled into a slumber.
A nice thing, about the zombie apocalypse, was Dot had gotten a lot better at sleeping. She used to stay up for hours thinking ‘bout how she’d pay the bills, how much her dad’s meds cost, whether he was coughing more that night than he did most nights, but now she hit whatever soft looking rock she decided to call a pillow and conked out until Shelby woke her. Shelby, on the other hand, barely slept a wink, shooting up at the slightest sign of trouble, even when Dot was on watch. Too much time on her own, Dot’d guess.
Before Shelby Mateo wandered with Dot. He was quiet and sweet and she had took care of him as best she could. Shelby didn’t have nobody before Dot. Just her dead parents, and if Dot remembered eighth grade soccer well enough, a couple of dead siblings too.
So Dot pretty much conked out and missed the way the girl and Shelby giggled all night. But even she wasn’t blind to their bond when she woke, the way the girls smiled easily at one another, laughed with each other, kept up with each other.
“Dottie,” Shelby said. “Martha,” so that was the stranger’s name “said you told her we could draw her a map but Mr. K’s ain’t far, we might as well take her.”
Dot grunted, she didn’t wanna waste a day but it wasn’t like Mr. K’s would take all day and they might as well see if they could find any more cigs. She hadn’t met any non-smokers in a long while. Apocalypse sorta took the fun out of being straight-edge, if Dot had to guess.
Dot took the back, a metal bat out and ready, and Shelby and Martha took the front. Shelby had a makeshift spear made, good for longer range, but worse up close, and she gave Martha the other bat they had. To borrow, Dot had emphasized.
One of the other things that never got old about the apocalypse, was walking up a highway. Walking straight up that middle line, knowing no one would dare drive a car ‘round there. It felt like the world was yours and empty, like you were finding it, rebuilding it, building it. It was as close to a cowboy as she had felt since her daddy let her ride on his back. It was as close to free as she had ever felt.
They got back to Mr. K’s and Dot saw the approaching figures first, aiming her rifle right at ‘em, safety off and gun cocked, but her finger off the trigger. It was Shelby’s hunting rifle, actually, but she had handed it to Dot first chance she had, looking kinda pale. She had Dot’s old handgun now, useless with this kinda range.
“Live ones?” Shelby asked.
“Can’t tell,” Dot said. “Just kinda standing there.”
“They could be waiting for me,” Martha said. Dot glanced at her, hoping the girl wasn’t actually as naive as she seemed. She probably was.
They walked as close as they dared, before Martha was able to confirm that yes it was her friends.
She ran at ‘em and one of ‘em collided with her, slamming her into a hug. There were two more, just kinda watching Dot and Shelby.
“We should go,” Dot said. “We did what we said.”
“Dottie,” Shelby said.
Dot sighed and the two of ‘em trudged up to the happy pair, reuniting like they had been separated for years, decades, instead of a few hours. It was a miracle they were reunited at all, Mateo said he’d meet her back at the camp in an hour and she had to bash his head in six months later with a sledge hammer.
“Who’re your friends, Martha?” One of the other people asked. It was four girls counting Martha, lucky, none of ‘em white, but they all looked around the same age as Dot and Shelby.
“This is Shelby,” Martha grinned, “And Dot.”
Dot nodded at them.
“I am just so pleased to make your acquaintance,” Shelby smiled, holding out her hand to the girl who still had an arm wrapped around Martha.
“This is Toni,” Martha said, squeezing the girl’s side when she didn’t take Shelby’s hand. “And Rachel and Nora.”
“Ah,” Shelby smiled, “Toni your sister right?”
Martha nodded, Toni glared. “Yeah it’s great to meet you or whatever. There a reason you kidnapped Martha?”
“I saw her passed out and worried she was alone,” Shelby explained. “I knew we had some tablets back at the camp but—”
“What do you want?” Rachel asked. “We got about six hundred if that’s—” Martha from Austin, Dot’s ass. Money hadn’t meant shit in Texas for awhile. These kids were from up north, probably pretty far up north too. Maine or some shit. Delaware.
“Got any cigs?” Dot asked.
“Yes,” Nora said. “We have a couple packs.”
“Great,” Dot held out her hands and two packs were dropped into them. Nora didn’t make eye contact the entire time, her hands fidgeting with anything. She was covered in scabs and scars, picking at her own skin probably.
“Where y’all headed?” Shelby asked.
“None of your business,” Toni said.
“Apparently the San Antonio Zone relocated to Tyler,” Martha said. “We heard some people talking about it last week.”
“Y’all got a radio?” Dot asked.
Martha shook her head.
“If you had one you’d know that that’s what they’re pulling now, telling people to go to Tyler, they shoot you as soon as you step foot in Athens.”
“So where are you guys headed?” Rachel demanded.
“West,” Shelby said. “Radio says they’re ferrying clean folks to Hawaii. It’s an island so.”
“Clean how?” Rachel asked, taking a step forward and lifting her jaw.
Dot sighed.
Shelby’s eyes widened, “Clean as in not infected, I mean.”
“Chill,” Rachel smiled, all thin, “I was kidding.”
“Great,” Dot said. “Not that this hasn’t been fun, but we should be going.”
“Wait,” Martha said. “It’s just, we might as well go west too. And we might as well go west together.”
“Marty,” Toni grabbed her by her uninjured arm, “I wanna talk to you for a moment.”
They got into a whispered argument for a few minutes. Rachel joined and it escalated but Martha came out on top, smiling as she approached them.
“We might as well go together,” she repeated.
Shelby’s smile was just as wide, “We would be alighted to have you.”
The new girls were a nightmare. Rachel and Nora, sisters as Dot would learn, hated one another. And by hated Dot meant, had a complicated relationship of love without trust or mutual respect. Nora didn’t trust Rachel, Rachel didn’t respect Nora, and they were constantly going at one another. Toni had some sorta toxic jealousy thing going on, despising Shelby because she was monopolizing Martha. She also tended to fly into these rages, making her wander off for long periods that had Dot itching to grab her gun and demanding the girl strip to check for bites. Mateo’s dad used to do the same thing, wander off to check his bite.
Shelby also was wholly focused on two things now: Martha, and Toni’s hate. Dot ambled along behind all of ‘em, keeping the sisters from killing each other, Toni’s voice down, and everyone else alive.
The worst part was it took Dot nearly three days before she caught sight of it.
“You have one hand,” Dot glared at Rachel. Rachel slung the pack over her shoulder.
“You’re just noticing that now?” Rachel asked. “I must be getting better with it.”
“The fuck happened?” Dot said.
“My hand got bit,” Rachel shrugged. “Cut it off before it spread, didn’t even know it would work.”
Dot whistled, low and quiet, like they were all used to being.
“I cut it off,” Nora corrected, sullenly.
Rachel rolled her eyes.
“I’m still quicker on the draw than you,” Rachel said, the words clunky in her mouth.
Dot set her jaw, “So y’all are sticking with the story that you’re from Austin?”
“We’re from New York,” Nora said. Rachel glared at her. “What? You think some group would waste three days on four teenage girls?”
“New York?” Dot asked. “Everyone knows it’s safer up north, why the hell are you down here?”
“You hear about Yonkers?” Rachel asked.
Dot shook her head.
“It was the last op the US military set up before they fell apart. We’d made it out by then but we watched it happen on the news. Someone in a group we had still had a phone and the whole thing was live streamed. All of the death. The group were supposed to go to some military bases up in Canada but we wanted a wide open space with plenty of guns.”
“Texas,” Dot said.
Rachel nodded.
“Stupid,” Dot told her. “You probably came for San Antonio too.”
Rachel sighed, “Nobody was gonna survive those Canadian winters without a base, and we weren’t sure we were gonna get one. Rather get bit than freeze.”
“How’d you meet Toni and Martha?” Dot asked.
“Toni and I got into a fistfight over some Takis,” Rachel said.
Dot nodded, “Fuego?”
“Fuego.”
And yeah they were a nightmare but quicker than Dot wanted they became her nightmare. Still though, she dragged Shelby away from Martha and Toni’s sides, and muttered, “we can still go. Ditch if you want. Whenever. We don’t know ‘em.”
Shelby, in high school, woulda been scandalized, muttered some bible passage at her. This Shelby was a little more grown and only looked at her all serious.
“You knew what I was when you picked me up,” she said. “And I knew what Martha was. We’ll face our consequences, I reckon.”
Dot nodded.
Walking all day, everyday, wasn’t easy stuff. Especially since they had to strip as many bodies as they could find. Nora figured it out pretty quick, mumbling something to Rachel who recruited Toni to storm over to Dot.
“You don’t smoke them, but you’re hoarding them,” Rachel said. “Why?”
Dot kept her easy pace. “These things are currency now, the value’ll only go up over time.”
“Currency for what?” Toni asked. “What are you trying to buy?”
“You think a ferry to Hawaii is free?” Dot asked. “I’m saving for all of us.”
“Dottie,” Shelby walked over, Martha sticking by Nora, “What’s up?”
“How much?” Toni asked. “Really, how much?”
“A hundred each,” Dot said, too quickly.
“Try again,” Rachel said.
“Dot,” Shelby got between them, looking at Dot. “Thou shalt not lie, right? Tell ‘em the truth.” Dot glared at her and Shelby turned back around to Rachel. “It’s five hundred each. We got about a hundred now, so no one’s going to Hawaii.”
“What if there aren’t enough?” Toni asked. “Who decides then?”
“We’ll draw straws,” Shelby said.
It was as easy a solution as anything but the tenseness started building up, Rachel and Toni viewing Dot with more suspicion. It’d fade, over time, Dot knew. Or they’d all die.
The worst it got, was actually Shelby’s doing, the easy peace maker of it all. They hadn’t bothered building a fire, despite how cold and exposed it got in Texas at night, but they huddled together between three cars they found abandoned along the highway that they pushed into a triangle. Someone got to the seat cushions of all three first, so there was nothing comfortable to lie their heads on. It was easy for Dot though, the asphalt as soft as anything to her now.
They stayed up later than they should’ve talking. Trading stories about their old life that all of them knew weren’t doing any good. Toni played basketball, was pretty good at it too. Rachel had a skill for swimming she’d never have again. Nora did quiz bowl, surprising no one. Dot talked about metal, fishing with her dad, what types of pills sold for what. Martha was a dancer, and a vegetarian once. It was something that made ‘em all crack up. When humans become man eating beasts, and once upon a time there were jokes online about vegans. Shelby talked about the yearbook, mission trips, Andrew.
But then cause Shelby started it by prattling on about Andrew Toni got it in her head to talk about Regan and Shelby was talking about Leviticus.
The next morning, Rachel quietly pulled Dot aside and told her to take all the cigarettes and head out. That they could make their own way west. Dot didn’t ask for an invitation to go with her.
They split off at the twenty-five, Dot and Shelby heading for the forty, Toni, Martha, Rachel, and Nora heading for the sixty.
Shelby was heartbroken for a few days, apologetic too, and grateful. Dot didn’t let her have any of that, only said, “It’s cause we’re from the same town. We might be the only ones from there left.”
They trudged on.
In Arizona Dot found the love of her life, her soulmate, Fatin Jadmani. In a completely straight way too. Fatin matched her tit for tat, spoke a language Dot hadn’t realized she’d been born knowing. Her girlfriend was an anxious woman named Leah, who Shelby got on with. Dot had worried, upon bringing the two back to camp, that Shelby would chase ‘em away again, but she hadn’t. Just smiled at the two of them, easily offering up a couple granola bars.
Whenever tenseness came about Fatin just laughed, and Leah rolled her eyes. It wasn’t perfect, Dot knew, there was too much hate for that, but it would last ‘em long enough. The four of ‘em just worked in this great lovely way.
Only problem was their destination.
“We barely managed to get out of LA,” Leah mumbled, she hugged her legs, her head leaning on Fatin’s shoulder.
“LA?” Shelby asked. “That’s where we’re headed.”
“What the fuck?” Fatin glared at Dot, “Dorthy I thought you had more sense than that.”
“There’s some military guys ferrying people to Hawaii,” Dot said.
“Where’d you hear that, the radio?” Fatin asked. She sighed at their nods, “They’re broadcasting out to whoever will hear it, but there is no ferry to Hawaii. The entire thing is just selling and shipping as many girls out as possible. We have no idea where though.”
“So when you say you barely made it out,” Dot said.
Fatin’s face was grim.
“We have to warn ‘em,” Shelby said.
“Warn who?” Dot asked.
“Toni and the others! They don’t know!” Shelby stood up. “I’ll plot out the course now and we’ll start out fresh tomorrow. We aren’t leaving ‘em to—to—we aren’t leaving ‘em.” She stormed off and Dot watched her go.
“She wants to go towards LA to help some motherfuckers who kicked you out of their group?” Fatin asked.
“Yeah,” Dot said.
“Are you gonna go with her?” Leah asked.
“I knew what she was when I picked her up,” Dot said.
“What do you wanna do?” Leah asked Fatin.
Fatin pressed her cheek to Leah’s head, “I don’t know if I can risk you.” Fatin looked at Dot, “Are you gonna be stupid?”
“No,” Dot said.
“Then we’ll come,” Fatin sighed. “Leah that okay?” Leah nodded.
Neither of ‘em were as good at offing zed as Shelby and Dot. Fatin was decent at finding stuff though, scoping stuff, and Leah had endurance none of the rest of ‘em could match. She was like a zed sometimes, just kept going, could keep going, until her knees wore down to dust and then she’d crawl, crawl until her fingers wore down to nubs and then she’d inch, inch until something put her out of her misery. It terrified Fatin and Shelby, but Dot couldn’t help being impressed.
So Dot ambled after Shelby toward Bethlehem on the forty but they were gonna leap back on the interstate and hopefully head ‘em off. Hopefully Martha, Toni, Rachel, and Nora’d be alive, and they’d find ‘em. And if they didn’t find ‘em, hopefully they’d be dead. And Shelby stopped sleeping about a day or two into trek. Would just keep staring at the maps and keeping watch, and taking inventory and thumbing around her necklace.
When Dot woke up on the third day of their walk, Shelby’s hair was much shorter and Fatin looked real scared. Shelby kept walking and walking and, in a fit of rage that matched Toni’s, launched her necklace off the highway. She looked like she regretted it after but they had no choice but to keep going.
They passed an arm and it looked like Rachel’s.
Shelby walked faster. Leah had that glint in her eye. Fatin took Dot’s hand and looked very very scared.
After two more days Shelby said fuck it, and found a car with some gas in it and told 'em to get in.
Dot stood in front, “Shelby,” Shelby glared at her, “This’ll attract every body in the fucking country. The sound, the smell, I’m not just talking about the dead ones neither.”
Shelby swallowed hard, “You gonna stay behind then?”
“Shelby,” Dot said. “If you leave me here I’ll get caught up in the hoard. That what you want?”
“Get in the damn car, Dottie!” Shelby said.
“If we get to ‘em in time, but there’s a fucking hoard following us, we won’t have anywhere to go but on,” Dot said. “Fucking think!”
“I am thinking,” Shelby spat back. She shoved Dot, “I’m thinking about Toni, and Martha walking from Minnesota to Texas only to die in California. I’m thinking about Nora and Rachel watching Yonkers fall and then getting shipped off to who knows where. That’s what I’m thinking.”
“Shelby we can make it,” Leah said.
“No we can’t!” Shelby said. “I’ve done the math, I keep looking at these maps, there’s no way we’ll make it in time without a mode of transportation. No car and they die.”
“Then what the fuck are we going there?” Dot asked. “If it’s too late—”
“It is not too late!” Shelby said, her throat was all closed and choked sounding. “I can save ‘em! Jesus fuckin Christ we have to help ‘em!”
“Shelby,” Dot said, she put a hand on her shoulder. “We can’t take a car, and we can’t make it by foot,” Shelby’s face crumpled. “They’re gone, alright? We should be planning our next move.”
“No,” Leah said. She shook her head, “We have to help them.”
“You don’t even know ‘em,” Dot said.
“I’m not letting four innocent girls go through what I nearly went through,” Leah said.
“I’m with Leah,” Fatin said. “We’ll take the car and play it by ear.”
“Play the-hoard-that-will-start-coming-after-us-the-second-we-turn-on-the-engine by ear?” Dot asked.
“Let’s vote,” Shelby said. “All in favor of going?”
Fatin, Leah, and Shelby all raised their hands.
“C’mon,” Dot begged. She looked at Fatin, “You told me not to be stupid!”
“So don’t be stupid,” Fatin said. “Get in the car.”
Dot sighed, wanted to punch something, wanted to cry, was too tired to do either, got in the car.
The car attracted so many fucking zed, they wouldn’t be able to stop, and they had to hope there was enough in the fucking tank to get them to wherever the four were. Dot watched the dead bodies creep closer, at their slow hobbling, relentless pace. Fatin drove, Shelby used her pike to spear any who got too close, Dot watched the maps and steadily got herself into a panic.
They were gonna die trying to save the asses of some girls they spent a couple days with.
This was not what Shelby was when Dot picked her up, this was not what she was. Shelby had gone behind Dot’s back and fucking grown as a person, hadn’t she? How the fuck was Dot gonna get away from her? She’d have to pack Fatin in a suitcase and then Leah too and that would mean entirely abandoning Shelby to be on her lonesome oh god.
Dot was stuck, wasn’t she.
As they kept driving Shelby had to keep spearing zed. It started off as one or two, but as the hours wore on they were leaning on five, six, a steady growing mass ambling behind ‘em.
If that had really been Rachel’s arm, they were probably dead. All of ‘em. Or maybe in the mass behind ‘em. And if they weren’t, they’d hear the car coming and head for the hills, assuming it meant a hoard was close behind. Which it was.
This was such a fucking terrible idea.
“So what, we just wait for a sign to say welcome to LA and then give up? We won’t find ‘em like this,” Dot said.
“Shut up!” Shelby said, she speared another.
“At least check you ain’t offing one of ours,” Dot said. “They could all be zed, for all we know.”
“I said shut up,” Shelby turned to glare at her and a zed slammed against the door. She speared it and Dot’s mouth clamped shut. “We just gotta keep going,” she said. “We’ll be fine, we just gotta keep moving.”
“You’re crazy,” Dot said.
Shelby didn’t have anything to say to that.
It was worse at nightfall, with visibility down, and they just had to keep going, to hope their car wasn’t stripped when they went over the bumps of mutilated corpses still hungry for a last meal.
“We’re almost to LA,” Shelby said. “We got nearly a hundred cigs, we might be able to bribe someone if they jump us.”
Leah snorted.
They were driving through an empty enough part of Nevada though, less corpses hurling themselves off the road and towards them. Still the ever growing mass behind ‘em now, maybe fifty, seventy five, but about twenty out.
“I gotta piss,” Dot said.
“Hurry,” Fatin said.
Dot stumbled out, no one noticing her grabbing her pack. The zed would follow the car, she’d make a clean break. She’d survive.
She was only seven minutes south, judging by the north star Shelby taught her to find when someone’s hand grabbed her. She pulled out her hand gun, jamming it into the head and flicking the safety off.
“Dot! Jesus Christ!”
The girl was wide-eyed, tan, hollowed out, empty and desperate. Reminded her of the empty pill bottles around her house after her dad died.
“Toni?”
Toni nodded, “Why are you here? Fuck that I don’t give a shit, you got water?” Dot handed it to her and Toni downed it. “The other’s are close, c’mon.” She stumbled as she got up, clearly dizzy, and Dot grabbed her forearm.
“We’ve been looking everywhere for you guys,” Dot said.
“Don’t tell me it’s you in the fucking car,” Toni said. “We’ve been running from that thing for ages.”
“I fucking told Shelby,” Dot said.
“Shelby?” Toni asked, she was almost too exhausted to sound disgusted, but she managed it.
“Listen, LA isn’t safe, we found out. They’re not taking kids to Hawaii, they’re taking them.”
Toni went pale, “Fuck.” She even sounded choked now. “Shelby’s having a fucking aneurysm worrying about you so I don’t even think she’s that fucking homophobic. I’ll get everyone back to the car, you tell ‘em I’m coming.”
Toni nodded, stumbling towards the street and Dot walked back to the direction Toni pointed to before she left. Rachel, Nora, and Martha were all in various points of disarray. Exhausted, dehydrated, starving, aching and bleeding. Dot had to half carry, half drag Nora with Martha and Rachel had to get a stick to lean on as they stumbled toward the street.
“We got like ten minutes,” Fatin said. “People are gonna have to double buckle, and before anyone else makes a decision, we’re going north.”
Dot strapped everyone in and found herself sitting next to Shelby who met her eyes in a hundred yard stare.
“You took your pack.”
“Yeah.”
“But you came back.”
“Yeah.”
“Fine.”
They started on again. Dot saw Toni keep sneaking glances at Shelby and Shelby kept sneaking ‘em back.
They weren’t far from Mt. Tobin when the two finally stopped dancing around each other.
Dot convinced everyone to ditch the car near LA, walking as quickly as they could once they did, knowing it’d take awhile to ditch the hoard too. Dot watched Toni talk to Shelby in low tones, Shelby full of apologies and panics and Toni keeping her cool longer than Dot had ever seen it.
Martha took to Fatin quickly, everyone did, and Nora and Leah spent long hours walking beside each other mumbling about books or something. Not anything Dot gave two shits about.
Rachel ambled along with Dot most of the time. Whenever Fatin and Leah were all over each other and Dot didn’t feel like third wheeling. Rachel was always listening to the radio and as time passed it became clear that the two of them were the most capable of keeping everyone alive. And not in a more knowledgable way. Because Nora knew what plants were edible, and Shelby was a better shot. Or in an emotional way, because Fatin and Martha handled that. But in a planning sorta way. Because Dot knew how to get them to point B, while Rachel was working on point E.
“We should go to Washington,” Rachel muttered on one of the late nights they spent keeping watch while they poured over maps. “We might be able to find a boat to Victoria.”
“Victoria?” Rachel pointed her out.
“It’s a Canadian island. Canada lasted a little longer than we did, Victoria might not be in such a bad way.”
“Less guns in Canada,” Dot said. “And there might not be a boat that’ll take us there. Plus, we don’t know the currency.”
“We’re eight teenage girls,” Rachel pointed out. “We stick around so close to Cali, we’re asking for trouble. We need to put an ocean between us and whatever the fuck they’re doing there.”
Dot sighed. So they’d go to Washington.
On the way they’d probably run into another group who’d tell them Washington was overrun but there was something decent in Wisconsin. Half way to Wisconsin someone would tell ‘em their information was bad and they need to get south where there were guns and space. They’d almost be in Georgia when someone would tell ‘em there was some real government up in New York again.
They’d follow pipe dream to pipe dream to pipe dream. They’d probably die young.
Toni curled around Shelby, holding Martha’s hand. Fatin and Leah held on for dear life. Rachel didn’t take her eyes off Nora. Dot watched them all.
Yeah they’d probably die young. Better than dying alone.
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