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thewelllitweenie · 1 year ago

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So it's been long enough since I posted this last and so now I re-present a story I wrote for a rusty quill competition which I can proudly announce did no rate a mention or an email back. What follows is a gross little tale I call windows about an awful little guy and the bad time he has. It's body horror in theme and is one of the more actively yucky things I've written. There's other stories too including the meat forest which I keep pinned and a fun story about subway tuna that's on my substack. Anyways, please read and if you so choose enjoy this fun little story about a horrible little man who through every fault of his own has a bad time.

Peering through windows is a little treat most people will indulge in to varying degrees; from the very shallow end of looking through the newspapers stuck on the windows of a store being refurbished, all the way up to looking into the living rooms of a house at night from the footpath and watching a person at rest. Windows are for looking through and while we would all agree it’s pretty good to look out and see what's around outside, universally it’s uncomfortable to have the outside peer in. It’s like a secret knowledge to look back in though, particularly if you can do it unobserved. There are idiosyncrasies of a person at home they wouldn’t even be aware of but if you catch a glimpse through a cracked curtain enough times you’ll eventually piece together more about what makes them tick than even their loved ones would know.

For a particular Peeping Tom, this is what it’s about. He’d be quick to point out that isn’t something tawdry, watching people in states of undress for titillation but a much more intimate knowledge about a person and who they are. There is a limit to how much you can learn about a person from outside a window, and no matter how much you poke through their garbage or track them online the most illuminating information is within the person. What he wants is hidden even from the observed. It’s just beyond the last frontier to the most private and intimate patterns within their mind and, if you believe in such things, their soul. It’s a desire to see through and bear witness to the unaware internals which has driven him to a dangerous threshold.

Turns out watching a person in their sleep only reveals how much noise they make, faint hints of nightmares and dreams so very close to the secrets bubbling away under their closed eyes. That's the window, the one that matters to look through: the eyes. Of course he wants to see through those windows of the soul, however it is impossible to look in without them looking right back at you, and to be discovered now would be a fate worse than death for him. No one can ever know what he does or see him do it. It is in this frustrated state of mind that Peeping Tom languishes, unable to either let it all go as an impossible desire or progress further to attain this goal.

Recently; in a laneway near where some of his subjects live, between two skip bins, something odd has started growing on the wall. Of course it catches Tom’s eye - very little of interest escapes his notice. He thinks it's a mushroom at first, taking foot in the brickwork. Little white orbs pushing out from the webby strands anchoring to the wall. He hasn’t seen something like that before but it's only a passing fancy as he makes his way between the apartments he spends evenings peering into from fire escapes. The sanitation team from the city has also noticed the growth on the wall: one of the newer members, a young man whose coveralls name him Joe, takes particular interest, encouraging the others to leave it alone, and takes photos of its progress. Tom watches Joe’s enthusiasm, and it provides a new avenue of discovery. He eventually manages to track Joe online, finding photos he posts to different mycology groups trying to identify the mysterious fungus. Experts argue on what it could be and no one has a clear idea. Such a little thing causes so much drama. They wait for the fruit to bloom fully and finally answer the mystery. Joe says he’ll burst one of the less developed orbs and film it. This is met with a mixture of support and condemnation. By now Tom is fully invested in the outcome of this investigation, a mystery with an answer which will come Thursday evening. Joe is off shift and Tom sits waiting, Joe brightly lit by a portable ring light smiling directly into the camera and Tom squatting in the darkness watching. The growth is slick and glossy, bright white like bone, with Joe beaming next to it introducing himself and the fungus to a crowd online. After an overly long preamble he produces a long dessert spoon and starts to nudge the wobbly orb; he lists the different features of the various suggestions from experts saying what should come out when he bursts the fruit. With a dramatic face he pierces the fruit and lets out a strangled cry. The spoon sticks where he stabs it but flicks left and right as the eye growing out of the wall looks around frantically with clear goo gushing out. Quickly grabbing his equipment he scrambles onto his feet and runs away. The other eyes open and focus on the injured eye, the spoon clanging onto the ground as it slips out. Tom watches with morbid fascination, disgusted but elated at something so new and novel. After an hour, the injured eye has fully deflated and the clear white of the sclera is dark and papery. Tom creeps up to the eyes in the wall and looks at them. He knows disgust, specifically what it is to be the object of disgust, and a feeling of being needed and useful but hated. The strange sensation of understanding what it is to be a shelter to vermin, rejects of society and of a strange predator who stalks without killing. He looks away, and the laneway comes back into focus. Steeling himself he looks back into the dimly aware eyes. To be a laneway is not to really exist as a singular thing but rather a holistic collection of spaces and barriers forming a place and function but with baggage. Blinking, Tom walks away from the eyes he had gotten lost in. Time has barely passed but it feels like hours. He vomits as the adrenaline crests and falls out of his body. It's like the first time he had gone into the room of one of his sleeping subjects but this time there's payoff, not the cold emptiness of an unanswered question. It strikes him: he's done it, he has peered through the windows of the soul and seen what it was to be an alleyway. He comes back and looks at but not into the eyes. He looks at the spoon and sees the goo of the burst eye has anchored into the beginning of a new fruit. Tom puts the spoon into a ziplock bag he keeps for his occasional foraging and vanishes into the night.

In little over a month Peeping Tom has learnt how to inoculate objects with the eyes and care for them while they matured. The eye will eventually open on its own and softly look about its environment and then Tom stares into the eye, passing through into the soul of the object. The spoon is a simple thing to know; he learns over time that the older an object is or the more complicated it’s relationship with the world the deeper he can go in understanding. Discrete objects in the room dimly reveal a secret where the room itself tells a grander story. Tom has fully abandoned his human subjects to pursue this new line of investigation. Antiques and abandoned spaces hold the most illuminating stories and secrets. The most beautiful is that of a derelict car from the seventies that has been slowly rusting in a lot cut off from the roads since long before Tom was born. What he experiences is looking back at a long life mixed with care and neglect; it was at one point the focus of love and pivotal to adventures; a baby had been born in it. It was precious and kept parked off the road when it wasn’t being used, admired for its beauty. Then it seems - and this feels more immediate - the love and care stopped, its safe parking space became an oubliette and it was more or less forgotten. Then animals and bugs started calling it home, small plants grew in the shelter of its chassis and as the rain and the elements took their toll its body became one with the ground it stood on. Finally he feels himself and its sudden spark of importance again to a person. It’s only a thing, but Tom feels a pang of empathy and sadness at the fate of it, looking at the car as a whole with its shattered windscreen grotesquely bedecked with staring eyes.

Eventually, as always happens when he finds a new line of inquiry, he becomes complacent, bored and greedy. He sits, staring aimlessly through his own window along with parts of his flat which had been given eyes months ago. A taboo plays across his thoughts - it seems wrong somehow, and for someone who transgresses boundaries so often this is a new and uncomfortable feeling - to give the Soul Eyes to a living being, assuming you could do that. For reasons he can't articulate the thought of inoculating a creature feels somehow forbidden as if it breaks some kind of universal unspoken rule. However the temptation to do it, and then learn the mysteries, is acute. His desires and hesitations chafe at each other, neither quite suppressing the other. Then circumstance makes the choice for him. Hanging from the ceiling, as plump as a cupcake, is a spider. Eight eyes sit in neat rows across its flat face, a ninth eye looking out from its swollen abdomen, blinking with bristly eyelids. Tom doesn't notice it immediately and lets out an undignified yelp when he stands and sees a singular monstrous eye staring him in the face. When he regains his composure he sees the spider climbing back up its silk and walking across the ceiling. The eye on its back is like the many others in his home but this has a different quality to it. A more palpable energy. It looks around more energetically and seemingly with more purpose although thankfully, much like the others, it does not appear to see what it's looking at. Any misgivings about deliberately infecting a living thing with the eyes vanish. It had been done without his hand in the matter and he is blameless. It is unreal, a dizzying experience, unlike any other he's had. The motives of the spider are relatively simple and based around survival but how it thinks of itself in the world is intriguing. It knows that it is separate from its environment and that other entities exist, some of which are dangerous and others not; in many ways it's much how Tom views the world. There are no great mysteries revealed by the spider’s soul; its life is too short and scope narrowed by its lifestyle so that it is similar to the smaller everyday objects Tom has looked into. But crucially it's so much more vividly intense, overriding the feeling of the car.

He yearns to go further and try it out on other creatures but the feeling of extreme doubt and active evil whenever he tries to plan for it overwhelms him, smothering his actions. But not the want. Tom just can’t bring himself to do it; his hands recoil and stomach churns. He has to return the rescue dog he adopted specifically for this purpose. Shame hangs around him like wet rope leaving him exhausted and cold. Why is he like this? All his wants and actions have led to this point, paralysed with worry, unable to rest with this unknowable desire to know everything. Never before, despite near misses and the laws of society, had he felt a twinge of guilt but now… what is this barrier and why can’t he either accept it and stop or move past it? Revelation, an epiphany! Tom knows exactly how to find the answer. He had never considered that he would contain secrets, mysteries unknown to himself. How could he be so short sighted? It's true of all his subjects and yet here he is, never once having considered looking within himself. The barrier to action doesn’t exist here it seems; he feels no hesitation. If anything he feels burgeoning euphoria. It seems fitting to place it within his belly button, from a practical aspect the inoculant can pool without risk of spilling across his body and more spiritually a third eye to navel gaze into has a symmetry about it. It takes a week to grow and it hurts the whole time. Fevers wrack his body and he feels himself becoming weaker. The skin around the growing eye is a livid red and he keeps a sterile bandage and patch to protect the eye from injury as he lays in agony, waiting. Then under the cotton he hears the gentle sound of eyelashes grazing the material. It worked and is now ready. Before the pain had set in fully Tom had prepared a space in his studio putting all of his stalking paraphernalia into the alley. In the center of the room lays a simple rug ringed with candles and a singular mirror fixed to the wall. It is in this sanctum that he will gaze within. He wishes he had prepared more, maybe anointed himself and really put the effort in. This would be the great human revelation, it deserves more ritual. However pain took those choices from him and he doesn’t want to risk painkillers on the developing eye just to get essential oils and an appropriate robe. He lights the candles and sits cross legged on the rug facing the mirror and removes the bandage, steeling himself. He takes a deep breath, wincing in pain and looks down into the eye that looks up at his face.

A subject of a story, an invented monster transgressing the boundaries of good and evil, not as an allegory but as entertainment. An unseen hand and unseen audience both unknowable and watching in perfect anonymity privy to his thoughts and motivations. He is a puppet, not even a person, forced into his choices and to pursue his goals without agency. Dawning realization that there is no greater truth to answer the gnawing question of why he could not get past his disgust, it was like this because of who he is: a monster in a horror story. And the unseen audience is bearing witness and watching the story unfold. He tries to tear his eyes away but is unable to as the eye looks back into him, bringing the true reality of his situation into focus: he is slowly fading away, horrified at what became of him but jealous of the special insights the anonymous audience of his story have. Tom stays stranded at the bottom of a dark well locked in introspection watching himself, watching himself being watched by himself.

#body horro tw #weenie #fiction #writers #short stories by weenie #body horror #eyes #Windows #it's pretty gross #I like it #Which is damning it itself

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pvccblog · 1 year ago

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SUPER SUNDAY!

Hope all of you had a Sunday that was even just a tiny percentage as good as ours - we had an awesome day! We were blessed with another slow morning because church doesn't start till 11am. I was able to get out on some trails behind the Olson's house and do some exploring. Being out in God's creation is so awesome!

Church was even more awesome. In the early years when we came here, church was more of a Bible study with a small group of people. Today, the physical and spiritual growth is incredible! There is an energy and a sweet fellowship that is contagious.

As we started singing worship songs this morning, I became overwhelmed to the point of tears. They were singing the song "Build Your Kingdom Here". I immediately began thinking back to some of the first years here, and how this town had been dominated for so long by the FLDS. And now, here we are, in a Christian church, worshiping the one true God, with lyrics like this:

"Build Your kingdom here

Let the darkness fear

Show Your mighty hand

Heal our streets and land

Set Your church on fire

Win this nation back

Change the atmosphere

Build Your kingdom here

We pray"

Stop and think about that. In this place, with such a terrible history of abuse, there is a group of believers gathering in Jesus name every week singing and praying for God's mighty work! That is a miracle!!

After church, the emotions continued as Brody gave us a tour of the new building that is in progress on the property. It was amazing and absolutely huge!

I was able to observe this as Brody was sharing about the building - local kids running around in the building with excitement on their faces at this new building being built. It made me think of our church vision at Pine Valley Community Church -

"Raising up new generations of both physical and spiritual descendants who are strong, bold, and fruitful in the love and mission of our Lord Jesus Christ."

These young people here in Colorado City are a part of a very special generation. And they are being raised up in this church and will one day carry on it's vision in the future. God has certainly done things here we never could have imagined when we first came 10 years ago. He has continually guided and direct as only He can do!

Speaking of God doing amazing things, we also got a tour of The Dream Center. This is a Christian ministry that helps individuals with all sorts of issues with locations all over the world. This location specializes in helping locals deal with some of the ramifications of growing up experiencing some of the horrible abuses that have happened in this place. The center even operates in Warren Jeff's old house!

If you are able to access Discovery Plus, you can watch a show titled "Prisoner of the Prophet". It features Briell Decker, the former 65th wife of Warren Jeffs. Briell had a huge part in making The Dream Center a reality. As we were wrapping up our tour, Briell even showed up and talked with us for a bit!

We also toured the town a little as a team and visited some of the key former FLDS buildings that are now either vacant or being used for other purposes. The change we've witnessed here is absolutely miraculous!

Then, as if the day wasn't good enough - we enjoyed a team dinner of baked potatoes and Mac and cheese!

After dinner, we met with Brody for a bit about how things will go on the 4th. Then I was able to finish my day the same way it started - back on the trails! A group of us went back to the same area and got to enjoy God's creation together as the sun was about to go down. So beautiful!

"Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." Jeremiah 32:17

The Southwards and Mikala have arrived, our team is complete! Tomorrow is really the start of our busy days, keep checking in and praying!

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theheelerbooklifereads · 1 year ago

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Thank you PRHAudio for this free audiobook in exchange for an honest review! #PRHAudioPartner

Rating: 5/5 Stars

Chandler just experienced the worst one-night stand ever and believes she will never see the guy again. But the universe has other plans for her. As a ghostwriter she is hired to write a memoir for a C-list actor named Finn Walsh. To Chandler’s horror she learns that the man she had the worst one-night stand with and thought she would never see again is the man she will be ghostwriting for. The other problem is that she will need to travel with him for a few months…

Characters/Relationships

I really enjoyed following Chandler and Finn in Business or Pleasure. I found Finn to be a relatable character since he has OCD and I too have OCD, so it was nice to see that represented in this book. Chandler definitely grew through the course of this novel due to her time with Finn. But as the book progressed, we see Chandler go through some self-discovery and with the push of Finn and her friends she really starts to contemplate what she really wants with her career. Finn was just a huge sweetheart throughout the book and is seriously the golden retriever/cinnamon roll character. Overall, I just love how each other made one another better by pushing the other and allowing one another to teach each other new things.

Atmosphere/Setting

A lot of this book takes places at conventions. I personally never been to comic con or any other type of con. Rachel does a great job of writing the energy of the cons and makes you feel like you are there. Also, Finn with his tv show he was on as a teenager seriously gives Teen Wolf vibes.

Writing Style/Narration

I found the pacing was well done throughout the book. As I read Business or Pleasure as an audiobook, I can say sometimes I find that some books have a different pace than what it feels like with audiobooks. I have read some slow-paced books but found them better on audio because the narrator made the pacing seem faster. Then I have listened to audiobooks where I think I would have liked it if I physically read it because how the narrator did with the book. Thankfully, Hathaway Lee who narrates Business or Pleasure makes this book come to life, give the characters life, and made the pacing seem perfect.

Plot

When it comes to the plot of Business or Pleasure, I have to say do not go into this thinking it will be not that smutty because of the cartoon cover. To me this book was super spicy around the half point to the third quarter of the book. But please note that people’s perception of what is spicy differs just like how we all rate books different because of perception. As what I talked about the characters and relationships, I noted that each character teaches one another new things and pushes one another. Obviously, Chandler is teaching Finn how to be better in bed because of how horrible their one-night stand was but this book goes further with just that. It is about learning to trust others, let others into your lives, see a new perspective, and discover what you truly want out of life.

Intrigue/Enjoyment

I seriously could not stop listening to this audiobook. I was hooked from start to finish. I thought Chandler and Finn were too cute together and wanted to keep reading because I wanted to get to the moment that they realize who each other are and then get to them admitting their feelings for one another. Also, learning about each other's lives had me hooked.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, when going into Business or Pleasure I thought I was going to hate it. I’ve been seeing people talking about how much they loved this book which is why I snagged it when I saw it on PRHAudio. Now here is why I thought I was going to hate it: I did not like The Ex-Talk or Weather Girl at all. I thought Rachel’s books were not for me until I read Business or Pleasure. I am glad that I went into this mostly blind and had lower expectations for it because of my experiences with her other two books. I am looking forward to reading future books by Rachel and am so glad I picked this one up.

CAWPILE Rating Breakdown- Characters:9 Atmosphere/Setting:10 Writing/Pacing:9 Plot:10 Intrigue:10 Logic/Relationships:8.5 Enjoyment:10 Average: 9.5 Rating: 5 Stars

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copperbadge · 3 years ago

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Hey, I've really enjoyed two of the podcasts you've recommended- What Went Wrong (I am very sad this one only has 40 something episodes even if I'm glad one of them got hired to write a screenplay), and Bad Women: The Ripper Retold. If you have the time, are there similar ones you'd recommend, a la someone explaining things without sensationalism and with lots of context? Thank you, and thanks for posting all the pictures of your cats!

I definitely recommended Bad Women, but I think possibly What Went Wrong was someone else, I don't recognize it as one I listened to (might have been a reader in a thread on what podcasts I listened to). But looking at What Went Wrong and knowing Bad Women, here are some recommendations I have:

Bad People -- a comedian and a psychiatrist discuss true crime; I like this because it's very much a dialogue between someone trying to have a true clinical understanding of criminal behavior and someone cracking great jokes.

I Don't Even Own A Television -- I think it's on semi-permanent hiatus but the back catalogue is worth a listen; two friends comedically dissect bad books they've read.

It's Christmastown (formerly Dave And Jeb Aren't Mean) -- two sports journalists take a thoughtful if comedic look at Hallmark Christmas Movies.

Mob Queens -- a limited run, now ended but well worth listening to, about a mob wife in the early 20th century and the amazing discoveries a pair of journalists unearthed when they looked into her life. (Also has some of the best music I've encountered on a podcast.)

Noble Blood -- a writer and humorist explores the lives of various nobles throughout history, including debunking some (she just did a great debunk on Bathory) and bringing other obscure stories to light. You may know the host from the popular twitter Guy In Your MFA.

Radioactive -- a limited series in progress about the life and horrible ministry of Father Charles Coughlin, the antisemitic Red Scare fascist who was to early radio what Trump was to Twitter. (I had a hard time finding this one on my podcatcher so you may need to search for Tablet, the producing studio, and then scroll through Tablet's podcasts -- the cover image is a red background with a fist in front of it.)

You're Wrong About -- currently in transition as one of the two hosts exits the show; a pair of journalists explore recent history and how we got it wrong. I think it will still be a really strong show going forward and the back catalogue is excellent.

Also I believe if you check the "podcasts" tag on my journal you may find a more complete list of what I listen to, if you like those!

#podcasts

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nicanario · 3 years ago

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this post is a product of its time

tw: discussion of racism, homophobia, misogyny and a short mention of sexual abuse.

ok, this is basically gonna be a very long rambling post about my not fully developed thoughts on the justification many people give to bigotry when talking about the past: "it was a product of its time"

it would be fair to say, with me being a raging SJW socialist scumbag, that I don't think this is a very good argument and is most of the time actually an excuse to not think about the problems inherent to our society, historical or not, and, by extension, the problems with ourselves. but I do think that sometimes, just sometimes, this can be a valid point, or at least one that raises some interesting questions.

I'm going to cite examples from several pieces of media, but fear not, I'll try to make this as accesible as I can.

so, let's take Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS) as our first case study. this show has, correctly, been called progressive by everyone except for clueless people who don't know much about Star Trek's history, Star Trek's crew, Star Trek's cast, or, frankly, Star Trek. because if you ignore the clear, sometimes in-your-face political history and present of the franchise, I don't think you know much about it at all. I do think you can call yourself a fan if you like it, you may have watched every single episode for all I know. but lots of mental gymnastics are needed to ignore the political progressiveness Star Trek has had since its very beginning.

episodes like Let That Be Your Last Battlefield are obviously anti-racist, at least in their intention. but the episode in question really is "a product of its time," and at the very end fails to uphold its ideals. the episode ends with the two aliens (who are LITERALLY. BLACK ON ONE SIDE. AND WHITE ON THE OTHER. BUT IN THE OPPOSITE SIDES.) fighting each other on their devastated planet, and the crew is like, "oh yeah if they both would give up on their hatred that they both share both of them equally" when it has been firmly established that one is the oppressor and the other one is the oppressed.

and that's a lot of Star Trek, not just TOS. even Discovery, one of the most recent series, has done Bury Your Gays (and Trans) TWICE (though both times literally rectified it, which is cool). there are episodes of the franchise that are overtly racist, or misogynistic, etc. TOS is lauded, mostly justifiably, as very progressive, especially for the standards of the time. they put a woman of colour as one of the senior staff, for fuck's sake. of course, when you analyse that same character, as with most of their intentions at being progressive, you'll see that she was relegated and sometimes even outright mistreated when she had the potential to be much more. but, at that time, it was a lot.

I had a friend (emphasis on "had") who, after I told him about TOS's both progressiveness and constant misogyny, told me something like "imagine feminists trying to complain about a show from the 60s." so, with unearned spite, he was, in some way, trying to make the argument that it was a product of its time.

you could say Star Trek, all of Star Trek, is "a product of its time" in the sense that it's not always perfect. uh, yes, I would agree. but that doesn't mean people have to accept it. well, I mean, the show is kinda over, you have to accept it's that way. but you don't have to accept that it's not wrong just because it was a product of its time.

H. P. Lovecraft, as another example, was a greatly influential writer whose works still shape a lot of people's ideas to this day. I have only ever read like one of his stories, so don't expect me to have an opinion on his works. but I can have an opinion on what I know about him as a person (he did have a life outside his writing, after all). and, yeah, he was a huge asshole. if you want to know more in depth about the subject, please watch Hbomberguy's video on him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8u8wZ0WvxI

but basically, he was incredibly racist & homophobic. some people might even say, "he was a product of his time." well, there are two possible rebuttals to that. the surface level one, and the one that examines why that argument is wrong to the core.

The Surface Level Response to "it was a product of its time": um, no it wasn't. Lovecraft was more racist than a lot of people even in his time. he wasn't just a guy who carried the racist beliefs of his society like everyone else, he was a reactionary who actively thought and discussed how racist he was, and how right he was for being that way. but that's only applicable to Lovecraft. one can't argue the same for Star Trek: TOS, because TOS did try to be more progressive and more anti-racist than the rest of its society. that leads us to the next response.

The Response that Actually Deals with the Fact that No Matter How Progressive You're Trying to Be, Your Failings Can Still be Criticized: the thing is, trying to excuse Lovecraft's or Star Trek's bigotry because they were "products of their times" misses the fact that racism is still wrong, and some people knew that in those times as well. people from these times weren't all naive or stupid or whatever. they had the capacity for rational thinking. they could stop and think, "hey, maybe what we're doing is wrong." and the fact is, some people did. not perfectly, not to our standars, but they did. everyone could have stopped and think. but most of them didn't, and we can criticize them for it. racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. HURT PEOPLE. horribly. massively.

also, even if you agree with the "it's a product of its time" argument, some people aren't criticising people's or work's bigotry: they're explaining why they don't want to experience it.

The Talons of Weng-Chiang is a 1977 Doctor Who serial, and it's one of the show's more racist stories. almost all the villains are Chinese, every single Chinese person is a villain. there's yellowface, slurs, stereotypes, the Doctor speaking nonsense words instead of actual Chinese, and a general belittling of Chinese culture.

note that I'm neither Chinese nor of Chinese descent. I have been searching for hours for a few posts I've read a while ago (some by people who are of Asian descent) about this episode and I can't find them. sorry.

suffice it to say, even though I love Jago & Litefoot (the audio series and the characters), it's not an acceptable episode at all. but it's also important to remark that, because of it, some people aren't going to want to watch it. sometimes, people aren't saying "the episode shouldn't be this way," which causes others to answer that it was "a product of its time." sometimes, people are just saying, "this is an episode that attacks real people. I don't want to see it. I don't care if it was common in that era to be racist, i don't want to experience it."

however, there is an interesting point to the "it's a product of its time" argument. after all, everything is influenced by its society, for better or worse. and we can't change it anymore. TOS sometimes didn't quite understand the political themes it wanted to explore. Lovecraft was a horrible bigot. Talons was racist towards Chinese folks. and that's that. I don't think we should change the episodes/stories or anything. edit them in any way. that would be, in a sense, changing history. and we wouldn't learn anything from it, about how we can do better.

I think there are two solutions to this:

1. warnings before starting the text: this was done with The Talons of Weng-Chiang. on Britbox, where you can watch Classic Who, this serial has a content warning before the start. that's good.

2. the removal as a whole of the text from some places: I think before applying this one, there should be a lot of thought put into each case. I don't think removing a whole serial of Doctor Who or Lovecraft's stories from anything would be, well, fair. especially on tv episodes a lot more people worked on those, not just the writers and the directors. Lovecraft's writing influenced thousands. we shouldn't erase them or anything. but sometimes, for some cases, we should.

those in the US might seen a Confederate statue being taken down. that is, in a way, a form of removal of a piece of history.

but that is a good removal. statues glorify. one sees a statue and probably thinks "this was a person worthy of admiration." they should be taken down, maybe even with a permanent mark of why this was done (a plaque that reads "a statue of X was here, but he didn't deserve it because of Y" could be put in place of the statues, for example).

another example is the removal from DVDs of the short episode A Fix with Sontarans, a Sixth Doctor minisode that featured Jimmy Savile, a presenter who was later found out to be sexually abusing children.

the removal of that minisode is good, actually. it's not a full episode (it's not even Doctor Who). some might say that's "erasing history" but, like, you can still find it online or information about it if you want. this minisode deserves removal from DVDs and Blu-Rays and whatever more than content warnings. it's not an important part of the show and it prominently features a horrible person who did horrible things during that time.

so, after all that, I have explained why I don't like the "it's a product of its time" argument. it is an interesting point that deserves to be examined, but it's not very good.

I have had this in Drafts for so long I've probably forgot some of the points I was going to make, but eh, what can you do? hope you enjoyed reading this.

bye

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sleepysnk · 4 years ago

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Hellooo first time requesting!! Feel free to delete if you dont feel like writing it Could you write a litle scenario where Bertholds girlfriend follow him in secret one night and overhears him planning with Reiner what to do with Eren and the whole titan thing , ofc she's shocked but she doesn't know what to do, tell her superiors or to confront her lover, up to you!! I had this on my head, if it were me, what would I do? n-n

this is quite an interesting request! i find that if i were in this situation i would be battling myself on what to do. i hope you enjoy! let me know if i did this wrong btw :).

Bertholdt x Fem!Reader: The Secret

Warnings: Spoilers to Season 2 and slightly to the manga, slight angst

That secret.

The only secret (Y/N) could never know about Bertholdt, or Reiner. When he first met her, he was in a battle with himself, should he love someone on this horrible land? or push her away and deny his feelings? Unfortunately for Bertholdt, he chose the first option.

He couldn't resist (Y/N), she was beautiful, super kind, and made Bertholdt a better person. Even Reiner who was about this mission approved of it, and for awhile Bertholdt forgot about the mission.

(Y/N) had no idea that Bertholdt was the colossal titan, she also didn't know Reiner was the armored titan. The #1 thing had to kept away from her, if she found out, it would destroy their relationship, and Bertholdt didn't want to lose her. No matter what.

Sometimes, she had a sneaking suspicion something was up. Bertholdt would get super nervous whenever Reiner would be around, he was afraid it would slip out. He tried his best to keep the conversation about what happened 5 years ago out of it. If it got mentioned he'd feel nervous, and it was obvious he would think about a lot of things.

As their relationship progressed Bertholdt was so in love with her. (Y/N) was the only thing keeping him going in this world, he wanted to take her back to Marley, afterall there was no future inside the walls.

Until one day, everything was going to go south for the two.

(Y/N) sat in the Mess Hall with Bertholdt and a few other cadets. It was dinner, so it was around nightfall. Most of the cadets were buzzing about the capture of a female titan, apparently it was someone that they knew. Annie Leonhardt. It was a shock to everyone.

"Who knew Annie was a titan all along" Connie said and looked down at his food.

Reiner looked at him. "Crazy discovery right? I mean I wonder if anyone else is a titan" he said and looked around the table.

(Y/N) looked up and noticed Bertholdt go instantly silent. "Everything okay?" she asked and broke him out of his thoughts.

He blinked a little. "W-What? Oh sorry (Y/N), yeah everything is fine" he replied and gave her a nervous smile.

She nodded. "Are you sure? You seem a little tense" she said and furrowed her brows.

Bertholdt looked at her and laughed. "Yes I'm positive" he said and went back to eating his food.

(Y/N) didn't really believe what he said. He was acting strange, and she didn't like it. Why would a mention of more titans make him nervous? I mean it made (Y/N) nervous herself, what if someone else was a titan among them? That thought alone sent shivers down her spine.

Reiner stood up from the table. "I'm headed back to my room, I'm exhausted" he said and looked at Bertholdt.

The odd thing was, Bertholdt stood up too. "Yeah me too, I'll see you later (Y/N)" he said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

She watched as the two exited the Mess Hall together. "That's odd" she said to herself and looked down at the table.

She decided to get up and follow them. Maybe Bertholdt was hiding something? He was acting strange, and she wanted to know what was up. She was never one to intrude, but if something bothers her, it will literally make her go insane. Plus Bertholdt is honest with her, why would he lie?

Bertholdt and Reiner were outside talking. "What are you talking about Bertholdt?" Reiner asked and nodded.

He looked at him. "You keep hinting at this secret! You realize how stupid you sound? We are going to get caught" Bertholdt replied.

Reiner rolled his eyes. "C'mon Bertholdt, it isn't that obvious. They have Annie yes, but there is no way they'll figure out it's us" he said and shrugged.

Bertholdt looked at his friend annoyed. "If you keep hinting at it, you'll raise suspicion!" he said.

The blonde rolled his eyes. "About what?" he asked.

"That we are the colossal and armored titan!" he argued and looked at him.

Silence flooded between the two of them.

Reiner looked at him. "No one will know, just keep your damn mouth shut and our mission will be completed" he said and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Not me, YOU" Bertholdt said and crossed his arms.

"We'll take Eren back with us and then this mission will be over. Trust me" he said and crossed his arms.

Bertholdt nodded. "How do you even plan to do that?" he asked.

His blonde friend shrugged. "Take him when the scouts will least expect it" he replied.

Bertholdt sighed. "I hope it works" he said and looked at him.

The two began to walk off. "No one will know a thing" Reiner said and shrugged.

What they didn't know was that someone heard everything. Specifically (Y/N), she couldn't believe what she heard. Her head was spinning at the thought of Bertholdt being the colossal titan, and Reiner being the armored. Was it all a joke!? But why would someone joke about that? Why would they want to take Eren?

She made her way back to her own room. She was trying her best to handle what she just heard.

"Hey (Y/N), are you okay?" Sasha asked and nodded at her.

She blinked a bit. "Y-Yeah! Totally! I'm fine don't worry about me" she replied and gave her a smile.

Sasha furrowed her brows. "Okay..." she said and went to her bed.

(Y/N) felt relief go through her. She didn't want to tell anyone what she just heard. What if nobody believed her? She didn't want to come off as crazy. Reiner had such a great relationship with everyone here, if something like that leaked, (Y/N) would for sure get shit for it. What about her boyfriend? Bertholdt sounded genuinely serious about what he said, he never lied to her ever, so what he was saying must be true.

As days went on, (Y/N) had tried her best to seem normal around Bertholdt. She didn't want to bring up anything, and it was eating her up inside. Bertholdt noticed that she was acting odd, the conversation would be kind of short, and she wouldn't really talk much.

(Y/N) was at war with herself.

Should she go to her superiors and rat out both of them? Or does she confront Bertholdt and Reiner herself? She wasn't sure how either outcome would go.

"Something wrong (Y/N)? You seem a little off" Bertholdt asked and nodded at her.

She smiled at him. "No not at all Bertholdt, I feel fine" she replied and tried her best to assure him.

He really didn't believe her. "Are you sure? You've been acting different" he said.

(Y/N) laughed a little. "Yes I'm sure" she said and looked at her food. "I'll see you later" she added and stood up.

She began to make her way to her superiors, specifically Commander Erwin. She couldn't confront Bertholdt, she wanted to do what was best, and that was the only option.

(Y/N) got to his office, and she began to tell him everything she heard. The Commander was surprised himself at what she was saying, at first he was a little skeptical since he always assumed Reiner and Bertholdt were innocent. After some talks with Hanji, it was revealed Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt were from the same town. It was plainly obvious that they could be.

(Y/N) felt nervousness around her. What would Bertholdt say? She's been with him for so long, and for something like this to come up, it would for sure end it.

The Scouts had to come up with a plan to capture the two without any casualties. Chances are Reiner or Bertholdt could easily transform, and a lot of people could get hurt. (Y/N) had to be used as bait, she had to get them to a secure location like they did with Annie, and then the Scouts would rush in to capture them.

Bertholdt knew something was up with her now. She avoided him, and ignored him whenever he tried to speak to her. What the hell was going on? Why was his (Y/N) becoming so cold? Was she planning on breaking up with him?

Everything was so confusing until that one day. (Y/N) told Bertholdt and Reiner she wanted to show them something. Of course, the two followed and both were curious.

"Where are we going exactly (Y/N)?" Reiner asked and furrowed his brows.

She looked back with a fake smile. "Just follow me, it's really cool" she replied and continued walking.

Bertholdt wasn't sure why all of the sudden she was being so nice. "I'm just as curious as you are" he said and looked at Reiner.

They followed her to some part underground. Reiner and Bertholdt were confused on why she was here.

"Why are we here, I don't think we should be here (Y/N)" Reiner said and nodded at her.

She stopped and they noticed her expression changed. "I'm sorry.." she said.

As soon as she said that the scouts appeared and tackled them. Bertholdt and Reiner were caught off guard.

"What the hell!? (Y/N)! What is going on?!" Bertholdt yelled as he struggled against the soldier on top of him.

She felt tears begin to roll down her cheeks. "I know your secret... I can't believe you're a monster" she said and looked at him.

Bertholdt's eyes widened. "What?! What are you talk about?" Reiner asked.

"You're the armored and colossal titan.." she replied and looked at the ground.

She did know. Bertholdt felt like maybe she did find out, but he didn't want to believe it. "(Y/N)!" he said and tried to get of the soldiers grip.

She watched with teary eyes as Bertholdt and Reiner were hauled away.

#anime #attack on titan #aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #aot imagines #snk x y/n #snk x reader #snk imagines #snk fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #aot bertholdt #bertholdt x reader #snk bertholdt #anime fanfic

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md-admissions · 4 years ago

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2020 (The dumpster fire) in review

I’m BACK after a long, long year. I’m working on figuring out the evolution of this page/blog. It’s brought me a lot of joy over the years and I want it grow as I grow. What that means, I’m trying to sort out.

But for now...let’s talk about THE year.

1 - What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?

Survive a pandemic, publish in JAMA, start teletherapy, enjoy dating, kiss someone while sober, I ALSO KINDA DATED SOMEONE, GUYS! Got broken up with, healing from the break up, started a twitter, took on leadership roles I’ve never taken on, took my ID Boards exam, gave job talks, interviewed for jobs remotely, bought a recording microphone, lost 50 pounds (intentionally!!). Started a master’s degree, QUIT the degree program. 2 - Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept 5 out of 7 of my New Years resolutions!! So I’m absolutely making more.

3 - Did anyone close to you give birth?

Guys...nine people. Count ‘em. Nine people. All my close friends. Gave birth. Like...end me.

4 - Did anyone close to you die?

No but I knew many who died. Or bore witness.

5 - What countries did you visit?

I narrowly avoided country-passed quarantines in January as I flew back from Asia. Won’t say what countries for now.

6 - What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?

More progress in radical honesty, vulnerability, healing traumas that have held me back from creating healthy boundaries. More time with friends, more art, more music. More time unafraid to love and be loved. 7 - What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

11/4/2020. Took my ID boards that day.

8 - What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Publishing in JAMA with a colleague I have the privilege to call a phenomenal friend and the best collaborator I’ve ever had.

9 - What was your biggest failure?

Waiting so long to finally hear my inner voice tell me that master’s degree wasn’t where or who I was anymore 10 - Did you suffer illness or injury?

Minor things. 11 - What was the best thing you bought?

The lap desk I’m currently using. Or my noise cancelling headphones. 12 - Whose behavior merited celebration?

My ID division. We fucking came together during this horrible shit. I’ve never been prouder or felt closer to a group of colleagues. 13 - Whose behavior made you appalled or depressed?

Anti-maskers, most of the US government, the list is so long.

14 - Where did most of your money go?

Food and clothes. Clothes because I lost so much weight I needed new clothing

15 - What did you get really, really, really excited passionate about?

Excited feels like a strong word. I was passionate about many things. Passionate about BLM, PPE shortages, writing out my advanced directives. Mentoring during a pandemic, being a mentee during a pandemic. 16 - What song(s) will always remind you of 2020?

Betty Who: You’re In Love 17 - Compared to this time last year, are you: I. Happier or sadder?

Sadder, but I know it’s the only way to feel after such an awful year. And that it will take me to a happier me as I continue to work through it. II. Thinner or fatter?

Thinner

III. Richer or poorer?

Richer.

18 - What do you wish you’d done more of?

Therapy 19 - What do you wish you’d done less of?

Think that I was alone and only I could solve my problems 20 - How will you be spending/spent christmas?

Christmas at home with some Chinese take-out and watching It’s a Wonderful Life

21 - Did you fall in love in 2020?

No but I learned to really like someone without becoming infatuated 22 - How many one-night stands?

Zero. 23 - What was your favorite tv program?

Next in Fashion, Legendary, Bridgerton, Giri/Haji, Castlevania

24 - Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Uh hell yeah 25 - What was the best book you read?

This is How you Lose the Time War 26 - What was your greatest musical discovery?

This will sound odd but...re-discovering my own love for singing and music 27 - What did you want and get?

To publish meaningful research, to break internal emotional barriers, to stop using food to address feelings and actually ADDRESS them, to make true friends 28 - What was your favorite film of this year?

Gosh...I don’t remember any this year. Was kinda...drowning in work

29 - What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32 and I got donuts for the infection control and stewardship departments that I work in! I ordered fancy Thai take out. I slept in. 30 - What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

No pandemic. A girl can dream.

31 - How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?

LA pop/punk, but make it office 32 - What kept you sane?

The Ologies podcast. Intense talks with friends. 33 - Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

KEANU REEVES. ALWAYS. Especially this year.

34 - What political/social issue stirred you the most?

Black Lives Matter. 35 - Who did you miss?

My best friend. 36 - Who was the best new person you met?

For all the pain I’m currently going through, a guy I met at work who I maybe-kinda-sorta-dated for 2 months. I made some wild breakthroughs and grew a lot from it, even though it didn’t end the way I wanted. I’m grateful for the me that’s growing and becoming through that experience.

37 - Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020:

The best, most authentic people are vulnerable because it’s scary as fuck and necessary

#year in review #2020 in review #a dumpster fire year

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procrastinationonvacation · 4 years ago

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Can you please give us some Silvergifting headcanons?

Hells yeah I can!!

Crack:

Sauron went to Eregion because he has horrible eye-sight and the Mirdain was the leading producer of glasses. (Buddy thought elves and hobbits in orc armor were orcs)

Annatar was a guest lecturer at the Gwaith and if he did teach a class the tests would be barely related Bc he’d see connections as obvious when in reality they took like 90 PHDs to understand. Queue students sitting around like “I know he’s a maia but I will find a way to murder Annatar”

He was initially satisfied with some of the earlier rings but then Celebrimbor (completely earnestly) was like “wow! it’s almost as cool as the things my grandfather made” to which Annatar responded with an impressive (if a little aggressive and concerning) bout of research that revolutionized the feild of magic jewelry.

actual ideas:

Personalities of the two:

Annatar is meticulous. I think of Mairon (in all his iterations) as having a neat, organized, and scientific. (Cause mordor and co seem very mechanical and industry-ey.) His work space is incredibly neat and organized. No one but him can say by what system, but its undeniably neat and ordered.

Celebrimbor’s space looks like a Mess, but if you started looking for something with some amount of thought you’d find it pretty fast. (It’s very intuitive, just looks horrible)

Gift giving bc that’s what my brain says is next:

Annatar: knows all the birthdays. Has never missed a holiday. Buys presents a month in advance.

Celebrimbor: if he misses a few birthdays/holidays every here and there, he definitely makes up for it in random gestures of affection throughout the year.

The relationship over time:

I feel like at first Celebrimbor (and the gwaith in general) were probably kinda nervous around Annatar (rocky history btwn the Noldor and The West, ya know?) But Annatar was able to cut through that pretty fast. (he appreciates puns and was thus designated Friend.)

I definitely think both Annatar and Celebrimbor thought of it as a mentor-mentee friendship for a long time, but after a while Celebrimbor continued keeping up with and adding to their ideas, it becomes clear they’re partners in their projects who learn from one another. From there the relationship grows to close friends and or to lovers. (I’m more of a close friends kind of person bc I dont really relate to romantic relationships but im not set either way)

How they view the relationship:

I subscribe to the idea that Celebrimbor is intentionally trusting bc he doesn’t want to repeat the mistakes of his family and thinks of suspicion as an “evil” train of thought. That being said, I doubt Annatar would have set off many alarms for him anyways because Sauron tailored that persona to be Celebrimbors friend. Ergo, I imagine that Celebrimbor welcomes the new arrival into the city and quickly grows attached to this person who seems to love the same things he does, especially once Narvi dies and leaves a gap whihc Annatar so conveniently fills (and hey if he’s hot that’s an added bonus.) I also think it’s an interesting dynamic from his pov bc Annatar is an immense asset to their scientific progress, so Celebrimbor has to be sure not to alienate him, regardless of their relationship. (Not super relevant but interesting to me none the less)

The way I imagine Annatar thinks about things is centered on the Work. His purpose would bring to order the world, and when it comes down to it, nothing else can come first. If he does love Celebrimbor, it’s because he’s found someone who rejoices in that discovery and is really devoted to Science.

Also i saw some place that with holding the three rings would convey ultimate betrayal bc it prevents Sauron’s progress and I very much agree with that. Tbh, eventually he and Celebrimbor probably would have clashed with or without the 3 rings, bc someone standing in the way of his work would be unacceptable, and their two ideologies aren’t exactly the same. (This is also based on the idea that the maiar do things/love things very single mindedly and don’t have the same inhibitions about pursuing that one chosen thing) (Kind of how Melian didn’t see the point of Doriath without Thingol, Mairon wouldn’t see the point of people without *order.*)

Thanks for the ask anon!!

I really enjoyed this, and it helped distract me from a really bad headache :) I’m not exactly sure if this is what you were asking for so feel free to come bother me if it’s not <3

#asks #headcanon #ok for the first one juts elvish teachers amuse me in that wort of setting because you KNOW some of their studetns will later be teachers #and colleagues and it's Funny #also spite is the only valid motivation thank you and good night #celebrimbor #annatar #silvergifting #welcome to the celebrim-blog #Captain anon

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somestansomewhere · 4 years ago

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Debbie Gallagher: ALL Love Interests RANKED

Okay! I tried to rank all of Debs’ love interests and it was hard to do because I am not set on that ONE PERSON that I ship her with above all else, but these are my thoughts! Keep in mind that these are all MY OPINIONS and you are entitled to yours as well! Let’s talk about it! If you read all this ILY.

Here we go:

...................................

23. The Guy At The Pool (Season 5)

He thought Debs was special needs and she tried to flirt with him...

22. Kelly (Season 9-10)

I LOVE Kelly so much but she was not into Debbie! I really love her with Carl and Debbie should not have tried to interfere! I will however say that I really really REALLY enjoy their friendship and I wish that that would have continued on. They had some really good moments together.

20/21. Eugene (Season 6) & Board Game Guy (Season 7)

Alright so these two don’t technically count because Frank tried to set Debbie up with Eugene so that she’d be written into his will. And the Board Game Guy was from a deleted scene as one of Debbie’s “life partners” from that flyer she made. So enough said.

18/19. Tyler (Season 6) & Erika (Season 6)

Again, Frank attempted to set Debbie up with Tyler and while that “potential relationship” wasn’t as bad as what happened between her and Erika, I am grouping them together because Debbie wasn’t technically into either of them and it was set up to fail right from the start.

17. Larry (Season 6)

The pregnancy fetish guy! I’m not quite sure what the intentions were for this character in the long run but it was a funny joke in the episode he was in. Even in the beginning Larry gave off red flags, but Debbie was happy... until the truth was revealed. Weird.

16. Jared (Season 11)

Another irrelevant love interest: the gay guy that cheated on his husband with Debbie after giving her cocaine. Obvious issues with this encounter/plot line aside, I did feel that their interactions at the bar were flirtatious and I didn’t hate him.

15. Calista (Season 11)

ANOTHER irrelevant character that was used and never brought back!!! I didn’t totally hate her either, she was upfront about her ex-girlfriend and that whole situation. She helped Debbie and didn’t take advantage of her but the second she came on screen; I’m sorry but I did not give a fuck. Her last episode built up a potential friend/relationship opportunity for Debbie and they just did nothing with it. Idfk what else to say, not a fan but I did appreciate Calista trying to take care of Debbie when she clearly was drinking too much.

14. Sandy (Season 10-11)

Oh boy, everyone’s favorite partner of Debbie’s... Yeah, Sandy is so low on this list not necessarily because I didn’t like her for Debbie, or that I have beef with Elise (b/c I love her as an actor sm). I personally just hate the sheer fact that this character EXISTS in the first place. I never understood the hype, but I know that people only like her because she’s a Milkovich ie. related to Mickey. That’s the hard truth this fandom isn’t willing to admit. My disliking Sandy should be a post of its own but lemme get into her relationship with Debbie.

You could tell that Emma and Elise liked working together so the chemistry was sorta there (definitely not soulmate shit tho). Each time that they interacted in s10 I was over it. S11 was better in the sense that whether I would like to admit it or not, they did have some “cute moments” (mainly just Sandy calling Debbie babe/babes). The second shit hit the fan in regards to Sandy’s history, I immediately understood Debbie’s issue with her and why her character would not want to be with Sandy. But, with that being said, Debbie was also in the wrong because she made everything about herself throughout the entire course of this relationship! Sandy did call her out, ex: “who was supposed to take Franny to school?”, and things like that were nice. HOWEVER I am sorry to say, this relationship felt like a massive waste of time and it felt like they were trying to force something that shouldn’t have existed to begin with. I don’t have the patience to even analyze this anymore, but maybe down the line because clearly there is SO MUCH to delve into!

13. Alex (Season 9)

Omg I did not like this relationship/plotline at all. Alex had issues but Debbie was so inconsiderate! I never saw the appeal here! It was nice that Alex had the decency to go and help Debs with Ford after the fact. I just feel “meh” about this tho. They had moments but ultimately I personally wasn’t into it and Debbie’s random newfound self discovery of “lesbianism”.

12. Kyle (Season 3)

Emma Kenney’s first kiss! Kyle was a one episode character that did have the potential to be more than that. I didn’t hate the kid as Debbie’s love interest, but there also wasn’t anything special about him. He was just kinda there and then he left. Debbie really seemed to like him though, spelling his name in her peas, etc.. I do like that one line about cigarettes that Kyle had but again he was such a short lived character and when he turned out not to be related to Kevin it became unnecessary to keep him around... even if the episode alluded to him returning. They were sorta cute!

11. Claudia (Season 10)

So I didn’t like this relationship much either but there was a certain kind of stability in the relationship that felt organic and nice. Partly because I enjoyed watching Constance Zimmer and she made Claudia likeable. Do I ship it? No. Was it a problematic dynamic? Yes. Was it a tolerable relationship? Eh. I didn’t hate it entirely though. Debbie, being a Gallagher, eventually fucked it up. And while I did like the drama, Debbie wasn’t REALLY into Claudia as much as she may have believed she was. So, it totally felt like a one off that would end with Claudia not returning... and it was. So there was no time for an investment of any kind.

10. Hedi (Season 11)

Gosh... Debbie’s endgame(?). Hedi was introduced too late for me to care enough about her (At this point it would have made sense for Debbie to wind up with Calista because at least she was already introduced!). I don’t necessarily like Hedi as a character and quite frankly it was a “who tf does SHE think she is” kinda deal for me. At first I was interested and didn’t hate her (and I don’t), but then she “thought she was Jimmy” and I instantly got annoyed (LOL I GUESS it was a nice nod to him tho... I guess).

My (several) problems with Hedi as a character aside, there IS something about Hedi being presented as this “dangerous badass” who is (somehow) WORSE than Debbie, that worked well. I’m not a fan of the ship, but it is an interesting dynamic in the sense that Debbie could potentially be “living on the edge”. I fear for what trouble this could cause Debbie BUT it’s like Frank referenced: Monica vibes. I don’t think it’s “true love” like Debbie said to Franny. A constant storyline for Debbie has been “why can’t anyone ever love me” and so she falls in quickly. Maybe Hedi will leave her but that’s the thing, “she’s done worse” so idk, either way I don’t think it’s meant to last! But I guess I don’t mind them being together! Karma’s a bitch! Will Carl tell her what Arthur found? Would it even make a difference?

9. Julia (Season 10)

I would have actually rather preferred her with Carl too! It was never love between Debbie and Julia, but the relationship did create good conflict for my viewing pleasure. UNPOPULAR OPINION, I didn’t mind Julia as a character at all. She was fine for me. I also enjoyed how ultimately SHE was only using Debbie in the end. Julia does admit later on that she was experiencing with her sexuality so maybe she did have feelings for Debbie at one point, which I thought was interesting. Debbie got herself into this one. At least Julia was more age appropriate than Claudia... (which is ironic since Debbie got in trouble for being with Julia when the age gap is MUCH bigger between Claudia and Debbie LOL I love it)! I also found Julia annoying Debbie to be amusing, that’s not to say that I liked her a lot either cuz I don’t!

8. Matty (Season 4-5)

Man do I feel bad for Matty! Debbie raped him and it was horrible. From the get-go when Matty was introduced the relationship was hella awkward!! And not only that but Debbie was a MINOR! Matty did do the right thing and said they couldn’t be together but a part of me will always feel strange that he WAS INITIALLY attracted to Debbie before learning her age. That to me is still wildly inappropriate. He shoulda cut it off. He did try to be her friend and took her to that dance which was cute but ahhh this was just a MESS all around. Cringe. At least he didn’t take advantage.

7. Henry (Season 4)

Speaking of Matty and that dance, Henry was supposed to take her. He asked her as a joke in order for Seama to inflict revenge on Debbie. If that weren’t the case however... DAMN THEY WERE CUTE! The potential that this relationship could have had! If only it wasn’t all an act! It was a “day worth of love” and sure that’s not enough for two people to REALLY be IT, yet there was something charming about their connection that I wish was real. Or idk maybe Henry could have reconnected with her later and apologized and it could have been revealed that he did actually like her... but that wasn’t the case. Fuck him!

6. Simon (Season 1-2)

Debbie was NOT interested in Simon at all but at the time he was almost like the male version of her. Their banter back and forth was fun to watch and he probably would have treated her well. It’s unfortunate that we didn’t get to even see their friendship progress. Their interactions were funny and he was a good guy!

5. Batiste (Season 10)

Y’all may not understand why this guy is so high on the list but a part of me wishes this character wasn’t a one off. Batiste is the dude Debbie tried to return her “unused” shoes to. If you can recall, he wanted a blowjob to take advantage of her. While this was a dick move (and the plot went nowhere) a part of me would have liked to see more! He did have an arc where he acted like an ass and realized that it is wrong to degrade women. I just think it could have been built upon and Emma may have had chemistry with this actor. There was something here that I didn’t hate and I felt it could have been expanded upon.

4. Little Hank (Season 2-3)

Debbie’s first real crush! It was interesting to see how he didn’t like her at first and then a “friendship/relationship” slowly started to develop after he gave her flowers. IT JUST NEVER CONTINUED! Little Hank was in no way the most upstanding, but it was cool to see Carl have a friend that Debbie crushed on (when she was little she wasn’t intentionally taking something away from Carl ie. Kelly, so I support it). Their interactions were fun to watch too! The fandom definitely has a soft spot for Little Hank! And at one point everyone was rooting for them to be together. Too bad we never discovered what ended up happening to this character!

3. Neil (Season 7-8)

The bathtub scene tho! Adorable! There was a short moment within this relationship that was super cute where the two of them really did seem to care about each other and may have both been in love. It goes without saying that Debbie was only using him, but they did have SOME potential and they found a common ground where they each benefited each other’s needs. Debbie once again was TOO controlling and self absorbed to make it work, but I don’t think she was entirely happy in a relationship with him. He deserved more respect!

2. Derek (Season 5-8)

Baby Daddy! I really did enjoy them together until Debbie took advance of him and Franny came into the picture, but at the same time that’s one of the reasons that Derek, as a character, has a deeper connection to Debbie and the audience. I always enjoyed their flirting back and forth and the relationship they had (the deleted scene with the card/push up game ahh my heart)! Debbie really did mess up due to her desperation to “belong to a family”, which is another one of her consistent character traits. She just went too far and tried to trap him. Then shit got messed up between their families. Derek did eventually ask for parcial custody and did have a desire to be a part of Franny’s life. Debbie said no and that plot line died until s10. Pepa!! Ahh! RIP to Derek, it was sad to me that he died. Definitely a character and relationship that I wish was incorporated more because I truly enjoyed them together.

1. Duran (Season 8)

Besties with benefits! Stop! Nobody talks about my guy Duran! Sure they both said that this relationship was of a sexual nature and that they were just a couple of friends but damn! The chemistry and dynamic was palpable! It is truly a shame that we didn’t get to see more of this friendship! They were on common ground and really did care about each other! I don’t know why but I really just LOVED them together! Duran was also in her friend group with Farhad and that was a group that seemed to have a positive impact on Debbie as a person. S8 Debbie was cool! These two complemented each other so nicely! Duran wasn’t by any means the best influence on her because he almost lead Debbie down a “Monica path” but come on, Hedi is worse in that department. He was getting his life together like Debbie was with her profession. Just think of the hair convos Duran and Tami could have had Lol. Idk, I just like Debbie with him a lot! It was healthy to an extent and he was supportive of Debs with Franny.

#I could write so much more for each of these but I’ll spare you #guys nobody talks about the AMOUNT of love interests Debbie had over the course of this damn show #I miss characters with a lot of depth!#I want to do more of these relationship lists for other characters #my lists #my favs #shameless #gallavich #debbie gallagher #franny gallagher #sandy milkovich #debbie x sandy

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summerdazegobye · 3 years ago

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Journal Entry - October 1st, 2021

It’s now October and I can feel 2021 quickly slipping away. This time of year always brings about reflections for me. It’s interesting that in the fall, time seems to pass more quickly than it did in the spring. The summer flew by too, perhaps because I was enjoying it.

This year started out really rough and I had predicted that the rest would be much of the same. To my surprise, the first quarter of this year was the low point and my life has improved drastically since then. In January this year, I caught covid at my job, during my first week back after working from home for nearly 9 months. Needless to say, I was pissed and that incident later led me to quit my very good paying job. I recovered from covid with a new appreciation and perspective on my health. Covid changed how I smelled, tasted and desired. The processed foods I grew up eating no longer appealed to me. I couldn’t bare to eat it anymore. The only thing that my stomach could handle was more natural foods, like fresh produce. It’s sparked an awareness of my horrible relationship with food, something I’m working on everyday.

Post-covid, I was struggling to stay afloat mentally. I was trying to balance working full time, taking graduate classes, conducting tele-therapy with children as an intern for the first time ever with no experience, and being a human with needs, desires and relationships. This was honestly the worst semester of school I’ve ever experienced. To make matters worse, in February, my sweet lil ferret Nova got hit hard with cancer and we had to put her down. It was very sudden and one of the most painful experiences I’ve been through. Nova meant the world to me. She had the brightest soul. The kind that would change the entire vibe when she scampered in the room. She was also so sneaky too. I’ve come to cherish the moments I had with Nova and I so very much appreciate the time we had together. Like all horrible things, there was some positives to take away. Nova’s death sparked a birth in me. I renewal of life. She taught me what was truly important in this world. Grieving my precious ferret baby allowed me to release all that I can’t control. Since then, my spiritual journey has taken off and I’m more aligned with my soul and purpose than ever.

As the months progressed, I finished my second semester of graduate school with much relief. It was a difficult semester and I took a very needed get away to the mountains of NC, on our annual family vacation. This yearly trip consists of the people in my life that are so close, they might as well be family. It was a great time full of love, good food and a healthy dose of mind-altering substances. This trip is particularly significant to me because of the relationships that were formed and the conversations that later led me to important personal discoveries. My mountain adventure was the start of a fun-filled summer that involved lots of self-reflection and growth, traveling and learning how to release things that no longer serve me. By June, it was very clear to me that my job was not in alignment with my higher purpose and was only a means on income. It had become a place where I had been disrespected so many times, in the most subtle ways. And I let it happen because I could always ration that the money was worth it. I thought good money was worth being told I wasn’t allowed to share my opinions because they were different or that I should wear a bra because I was a distraction to my coworkers. This experience was brutal and degrading, but I’m honestly so thankful for it. I will let this story stand as a reminder that nothing is worth trading my self-respect. To this day, I am still so proud of myself for standing up for myself and quitting that job.

The rest of the summer was a haze of freedom, good times and genuinely living my best life. It was the first time in my life since I was 14 that I didn’t have a job or any responsibilities. I had the time, space and energy to pursue whatever I desired, and boy did I discover so much about myself. I became obsessed with spiritual/personal growth and took some deep dives in my own shadow. I focused on simply existing and let myself follow whatever came up for me. This magical period abruptly ended by the start of classes mid-August. I wasn’t ready to give up my time and energy for an institution I felt had already failed me. And it was quite a rough transition. I found myself having lots of sad days again. As a social work masters student, it was very apparent that the systems that are in place to ‘help’ people are the very thing that creates obstacles and stressors. I don’t see an effective way to fix the systems so I feel like the only solution is to dismantle them and create more effective ones. It seems silly to me, like we’re sweeping the floor wearing muddy boots. There’s no point. Yes, of course these people need help and we should do what we can to assist them. However, if we all focused on creating a better world and society, I know we’d be able to thrive. Anyways, that’s a whole other conversation for another day.

Fast forward and it’s now October 1st. I still feel trapped by school but I’ve adjusted to my new schedule and I’m able to have meaningful experiences that don’t make each day suck. I’m excited about the future and feel confident that I can create the life I want and enjoy. I know that I can shape my reality by speaking my intentions and desires to the universe. I feel intrinsically connected to the collective consciousness. I’m amazed at how things seem to just work out for me, which is a stark contrast to how I felt about most of my life until this point. I find it quite comical how powerful we are as human beings and I’m excited to continue to develop as a soul and energetic being. I’m excited about the new experiences I haven’t had yet and the downloads I’ve yet to receive. Life is scary and daunting but also so very beautiful and exciting. I’m so very grateful for this life.

#reflection #self-acceptance

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terramythos · 4 years ago

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TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 10 of 26

Title: The Picture of Dorian Gray (1890)

Author: Oscar Wilde

Genre/Tags: Fiction, Gothic Horror, Third-Person, LGBT Protagonist (I... guess)

Rating: 8/10

Date Began: 4/13/2021

Date Finished: 4/20/2021

When artist Basil Hallward paints a picture of the beautiful and innocent Dorian Gray, he believes he’s created his masterpiece. Seeing himself on the canvas, Dorian wishes to remain forever young and beautiful while the portrait ages in his stead. The bargain comes true. While Dorian grows older and descends a path of hedonism and moral corruption, his portrait changes to reflect his true nature while his physical body remains eternally youthful. As his debauchery grows worse, and the portrait warps to reflect his corruption, Dorian’s past begins to catch up to him.

Perhaps one never seems so much at one’s ease as when one has to play a part. Certainly no one looking at Dorian Gray that night could have believed that he had passed through a tragedy as horrible as any tragedy of our age. Those finely-shaped fingers could never have clutched a knife for sin, nor those smiling lips have cried out on God and goodness. He himself could not help wondering at the calm of his demeanour, and for a moment felt keenly the terrible pleasure of a double life.

Full review, some spoilers, and content warnings under the cut.

Content warnings for the book: Misogyny (mostly satirical). Racism and antisemitism (not so much). Emotional manipulation, blackmail, suicide, graphic murder, and death. Recreational drug use.

Reviewing a classic novel through a modern lens is always going to be a challenge for me. The world seems to change a lot every decade, let alone every century—whether some canonized classic holds up today is pretty hit or miss (sorry, English degree). And considering the sheer amount of academic focus on classic texts, it’s not like I’m going to have a “fresh take” on one for a casual review. I read and reviewed The Count of Monte Cristo last year, and thought it aged remarkably well over 170+ years.

Somehow I never read Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray for school. I tried reading it independently in my late teens/early twenties, and honestly think I was just too stupid for it. Needing a shorter read before the next Murderbot book releases at the end of the month, I grabbed Dorian Gray off the shelf and decided to give it another shot. By the end, I was pleasantly surprised how much I liked the book.

I’m actually going to discuss my pain points before I get into what worked for me. The first half of the book is very slow-paced. The Picture of Dorian Gray is famous for… well… the picture. But it isn’t relevant until the halfway point of the novel, when Dorian does something truly reprehensible and finds his image in the picture has changed. There’s a lot of setup before this discovery. The first half of the book has a lot of fluff, with characters talking about stuff that happened off screen, discussing various philosophies, and so on without progressing the story. Some of this is fine, as it establishes Dorian’s initial character so the contrast later is all the more striking. I just think it could have been shorter. I realize this comes down to personal taste.

I’m also torn on the Wilde’s writing style. He’s very clever, and there are many philosophical ideas in his writing that did genuinely made me stop and think. The prose is also beautiful and descriptive; this is especially useful when it contrasts the horror elements of the story. However, there’s a lot of unnatural, long monologue in the story. Not sure if it’s the time period, Wilde’s background as a playwright, or just his writing style in general (maybe all three), but the characters ramble a LOT. My favorite game was trying to imagine how other characters were reacting to a literal wall of text.

I also feel the need to mention this book has some bigoted content, as implied in my content warnings. The misogyny in the story is satirical; it’s spouted by the biggest tool in the book, Lord Henry, whose whole shtick is being paradoxical. You just need basic critical thought to figure that out. However, some things don’t have that excuse. A minor character in the first half is an obvious anti-Semitic caricature. There’s also some pretty racist content, particularly when Wilde describes Gray’s musical instrument collection. While these are small parts of the book, it’d be disingenuous not to acknowledge them.

All that being said, there were many aspects of the book I enjoyed, particularly in the second half. Wilde does a great job characterizing terrible people who fully believe what they say. Lord Henry is an obvious example, and Dorian follows his lead as the story progresses. One of my favorite bits was after Sibyl’s suicide (which Dorian instigated by being a piece of shit). Dorian is initially shocked, but as he and Lord Henry discuss it, they come to the conclusion that her suicide was a good thing because it had thematic merit. It’s just such a brazen, horrible way to alleviate one’s guilt.

Dorian also goes to significant lengths to justify his actions. At one point, he murders Basil to keep the portrait a secret. While he briefly feels guilty about this, Dorian grows angry at the inconvenience of having killed this man, supposedly an old friend. He even separates himself from the situation, expressing that Basil died in such a horrible way. Bro, you killed him! It was you! The cognitive dissonance is just stunning.

It’s also viscerally satisfying to read about Dorian’s downfall as his awful choices catch up to him. Dorian becoming tormented by the portrait is just... *chef’s kiss*. Is it surprising? No, it’s pretty standard Gothic horror fare. But there’s something to be said about seeing a genuinely horrible man finally pay for what he’s done after getting away with it for so long. I wish real life worked that way.

There’s the picture itself, too. I know it’s The Thing most people know about this novel -- but I just think it’s a cool concept. I like the idea of someone’s likeness reflecting their true self, and the psychological effect it has on the subject. Most of the novel is fiction with realistic horror elements, but I like that there’s a touch of the supernatural thanks to Dorian’s picture. It’s an element I wouldn’t mind seeing in more works.

It's sad to read Dorian Gray with the context of what happened to Wilde. The homoeroticism in the novel is obvious, but tame compared to works today. Wilde and this book are a depressing case study in how queer people are simultaneously erased and reviled in recent history. Wilde was tortured for his homosexuality (and died from resulting health complications) over 100 years ago, yet the 1994 edition of Dorian Gray I read refers to his real homosexual relationship as a "close friendship". It's an infuriating and tragic paradox. Things have improved by inches, but we still have so far to go.

As I grow older I find I appreciate classic works more than when I was forced to read them for school. The Picture of Dorian Gray is a gripping Gothic horror story. Some aspects didn't age particularly well, but that's true for almost anything over time. If you're in the market for this kind of book, I do recommend it.

#this review is late but in my defense the nier remake came out #taylor reads #2021 reading challenge #8/10

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smallersocksx · 3 years ago

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Why the Wallace Cup Arc is one of the best returning character arcs

Introduction:

For those who have been following the Pokémon Journeys anime, know that Dawn was one of the latest former cast members to return the series for a two-episode arc. As I admitted in my episode 74 review (I’m contemplating reviewing episode 75 as well), should know I hadn’t really been keeping up with the anime up to that point as I felt all the issues, I had mentioned in one of my previous posts all culminated and I needed to take a break as I wasn’t enjoying the series. It felt more like a chore to watch the Journeys series rather than a pleasure and I felt horrible feeling this way about a series that I had loved for such a long time. However, if you’re enjoying the series, that’s great and I’m glad you find some enjoyment watching it.

Nevertheless, those that have read my posts or know me personally know DP is one of my favourite Pokémon series and I absolutely love Dawn, her Pokémon and Contests to pieces. So, when they announced she would be appearing for two episodes, I knew I had to watch. However, after sitting on these thoughts for a couple of weeks, I had to admit overall I was a little disappointed. This is a shame because I absolutely love Dawn but the reasons, I felt disappointed were:

The pacing/length – in both episodes, I felt like some areas were really slow and could have easily been cut out which in turn caused the areas that should have been slower and more fleshed out to feel incredibly rushed such as the battle with Matori Matrix. I felt like another area that could have been sped up was the exposition/discovery of Darkrai and Cresselia’s symbiotic relationship, don’t get me wrong it was interesting but I feel like it could have been handled better. I think if this DP arc had been four episodes long like the Sword and Shield arc, the pacing could have been better, we could have explored Ash and Goh’s side of the story more and we could have actually seen some Contest action. Additionally, it would give us a break from the episodic and slightly disjointed nature of the Journeys series and engage more with the story.

Chloe’s development – Now for those that have read my previous posts, should know that I like Chloe and I’m interested to see where they go with her development. Especially considering she’s meant to meeting an Espeon and Umbreon trainer in the upcoming episode. However, it kind of felt like the only reason they brought Dawn back was to help Chloe develop. It would have been nice to allow Dawn and her other Pokémon to shine more. Also, as I mentioned in my episode 74 review, the argument between Chloe and Dawn felt completely unnecessary to me. In my opinion, one of the ways Chloe had subtly developed under Eevee’s influence was that she learnt to relax a little bit and not take things so seriously. This is why I was finding her behaviour in episode 74 to be a little annoying.

Also, it would have been nice to at least see Chloe attempt to participate in a Contest and at least try something out once even if it's not for her. Considering, Pokémon is an anime tailored towards children, it's better to send out the message of at least trying something even if it's not something for you in the end. This was something I would have liked to have seen with Serena, as before discovering Pokémon Showcases, she didn’t really try to find her goal/path. However, judging by the preview, at least the writers are acting on the idea of Chloe meeting other Eevee and Eeveelution trainers.

Dawn and her Pokémon – As I mentioned previously, it kind of felt like the only reason Dawn was brought back was to contribute to Chloe’s development. Whilst, it was nice to see Dawn and her Piplup again it would have been nice to have seen Dawn’s other Pokémon outside of a flashback. We did have that brief scene where Dawn gave Chloe a demonstration of a Contest Performance but outside of that we hardly saw anything else to do with contests. They could have done something similar to the Darkrai film and show the contest in the end credits as a one-off/special ED. Or if the arc had been longer, they could have devoted more time to the contest aspect and we could have seen Chloe and Dawn participating in the Eterna City contest. It just would have given Dawn a better opportunity to shine and show off her skills as a Coordinator.

They could have featured the rest of Dawn’s Pokémon in the beach scene at the end of Episode 75. I just wanted a Buneary and Pikachu reunion ToT

Apologies, for turning this into a critique of episode 75/this mini-arc. However, it brought me back to this point and I’ve seen people always make this comment or have made videos on it when critiquing Journeys. The problem Journeys has is that any returning characters have basically been treated as fan service that the older fans including myself have eaten up. But when you think about it, it's honestly doing these characters a disservice, and they deserve so much better. Take Korrina and Iris, Iris, in particular, they had hyped up their returns to the series and it ends kind of falling flat as they both lose to Ash to help him to further his goal (which contributes to Journeys pacing issue). Nevertheless, their losses end up diminishing all the development they built up to that point, particularly with Iris’ Haxorus, this was a Pokémon I would have loved to have seen develop more on-screen and when we see him fully evolved as he has always dreamed it was sad to see him lose.

This brings me to this point that I’ve made and so have others, that the Wallace Cup arc has arguably been one of the best arcs/methods of utilising a former main cast member. And it’s due to the reasons, I had listed were the latest DP arc fell short:

The pacing/length

May and her Pokémon

Dawn’s development

The setting

I feel like the setting, in particular, was one of the main reasons why the Wallace Cup arc was so successful. If you’re still reading this, thank you and sorry for the incredibly long introduction.

The pacing/length:

I feel like these two aspects go hand-in-hand so I decided to place them under the same bracket. Now I don’t know whether some count the Wallace Cup arc as five episodes rather than four as May does briefly appear in Our Cup Runneth Over! But I count it from A Full Course Tag Battle! Nevertheless, whether it be four or five episodes, this arc didn’t feel like it dragged on or rushed, it was the perfect length in my opinion. A Full Course Tag Battle! Was a great way to re-introduce us to May and her character, to learn of her progress/struggles in Johto and to see some of her Pokémon again. This episode had helped integrate May back into the main cast perfectly as we learn she keeps in contact with Ash and they both still have their halves of the Terracotta Ribbon and we see that May and Dawn develop a fast friendship through their shared interests and current hardships. In addition to this, I like the call-back to May’s Kanto Journey, with her fire-water combination in the Tag battle as well as the food-loving aspect of her personality (same May same).

The following episode, Staging a Heroes Welcome! Showed off one of my favourite aspects of Contests in the anime, the Performance Stage. In addition to this, it allowed us to see May’s new skills and style in a Contest setting. I really enjoyed May’s performance, as we learnt her timid Squirtle had evolved into a confident Wartortle (one of my favourite starter Middle Stage evolutions) and I loved their simple performance, it reminded me of a pebble/stone skipping across the water and you couldn’t take your eyes off Wartortle. I really enjoyed Ash’s performance, it’s not the first time he’s competed in a Contest but I love the fact he competed with Buizel, who wasn’t that interested in Contests under Dawn’s ownership. Additionally, I love the fact Ash used Dawn’s feedback to help with the performance but it honestly felt like an Ash performance, just showing off his and Buizel’s love of battle.

Finally, it’s getting closer to Dawn’s turn and naturally, she starts to have doubts, causing Piplup to launch a Bubble Beam at her face. It was a short but cute display of Dawn and Piplup’s relationship and how they support one another especially as Piplup tried to gently encourage Dawn throughout her slump. In this case, he decided to be a little more forceful. Despite a little stumble, Dawn and Ambipom ultimately delivered a simple and clean performance taking on Zoey’s advice. Ultimately being rewarded with a place in the Battle Stage. Overall, this episode was a brilliant way to introduce to the Wallace Cup, the beginning of Dawn re-gaining her confidence and seeing the Hoenn cast of characters.

Pruning Passel of Pals! Personally, this is the weakest episode of the arc, just for the fact it has the least amount of battling but we expand on DP’s main plot with the Lake Trio as Ash catches sight of Azelf and we expand on the Sinnoh lore. We also get a cute Team Rocket moment, where James and Meowth arrange for Jessie to act as a TV commentator for the competition, their sense of comradery is so cute (also if Jessie’s happy they’re happy). I liked the fact we got to see Dawn’s first battle of the competition after renewing her confidence and I did enjoy the battle, as we hadn’t seen Buneary in a Contest battle for a while. Up to the Quarter Finals, we mostly got still-shots or brief cuts of the other battles which is what makes this episode weaker in comparison to the others. However, it allowed us to see May’s Skitty and that her Bulbasaur evolved all the way to a Venusaur.

Once, we reach the Quarter Finals, we see Ash battle against a Coordinator named Kyle. Sadly, Ash ultimately loses the battle and is eliminated he didn’t entirely lose out as he and Buizel are more in sync and the Ice Aqua Jet that Dawn couldn’t perfect with Buizel under her ownership was finally successful. However, Kyle brought up an interesting point during his battle with Ash that stuck with me, that in these types of contests such as the Wallace Cup and the Grand Festival, varying your Pokémon is vital so your opponents can’t figure out all of your strategies. This was what led to Solidad defeating May in the Kanto Grand Festival as observed May’s tactics and battle style. I just found this observation interesting and it was something that stuck with me.

Finally, my favourite episode of the arc and probably one of my favourite Contest episodes ever, Strategy with a Smile! Now, this is how you conclude a Contest arc! There was plenty of action, the first Semi-Final Battle we have is between Kyle and Dawn, what I loved with this episode and subsequent battles was seeing Dawn confident once again and having faith in her skills re-using the spin tactic, she developed in Oreburgh City and combining it with Bide causing Piplup to glow purple and turn his opponent’s attacks against them.

Then we have May vs Zoey, which allowed us to see May’s new skills and battle style on full display. We also get to see May’s Beautifly again! One of my favourite Pokémon. Once again, we got to see, why Zoey is one of Dawn’s toughest rivals utilising the pool to electrocute Beautifly. However, I liked the way May turned the tables on her, something I don’t think we saw too often with her in previous Contests. But she didn’t give Zoey the chance to counterattack either. I just really enjoyed seeing this new fierce style, May had developed during her time in Johto.

However, the next battle had to be one of my favourite Contest battles of all time. What better way to conclude the Wallace Cup arc? Then having our two main Coordinators go head-to-head, DP was the series when the visuals for Pokémon began to increase in quality and I really loved the visuals throughout this battle. Not to mention we got to May’s newly evolved Glaceon shine in a Contest Battle as we hardly got to see it in action as an Eevee.

Some fans were upset at the fact, May the more experienced Coordinator had lost to Dawn and I’ll explore factors and reasons why this could have happened. But I felt the need to hammer this point, Dawn only won by half a point and Contests aren’t about strength, the winner is the Coordinator who best displays their Pokémon’s traits in a Performance and Battle. And say if May won, either way, both Coordinators would have had a positive experience, it would have been similar to the conclusion of Dawn’s battle with Maylene. Despite the loss, Dawn still would have regained her confidence but I think her winning the Aqua Ribbon gave her that extra sense of affirmation, as Dawn won a Contest that attracts competitors from all over the globe. I can’t think of a better way of renewing a character’s sense of self-confidence than in a setting such as this. All in all, it was a great way to conclude the Wallace Cup arc.

It felt like every episode set out to fulfill the job it was meant to do and succeeded. Naturally, they couldn’t show off every battle in the competition and it’s the same in other Contest episodes, utilising still-shots. But I generally enjoyed every battle they chose to focus on and the way the pool battlefield was utilised throughout the competition. In addition to the character development featured throughout this arc, we had some progression to the overarching plot of DP. This section ended up being an episode-by-episode review of the arc but I hope it gets the point across!

May and her Pokémon:

The issue I’ve been having as of late is that it kind of felt like the only reason former main cast members were returning was to help develop a current main cast member and that just doesn’t feel right. These characters deserve to shine and we want to see how they developed. This is why one of my favourite aspects of the Wallace Cup arc is that we truly got to see May shine and see the progress she’s made from the naïve beginner trainer she was in AG to the fearless Coordinator she is now. In addition to May, we got to see all of her Pokémon shine in their own way at least once (yes, I’m including still shots). Which is why I’m glad we had the Full Course Tag Battle! The episode gave us the chance to see her Blaziken, as using a fire-type in a contest that celebrates water-types in a battlefield with a pool probably wouldn’t be a good idea.

One of my main reasons, May split off from Ash, was because she felt like she was imitating his battle style and she wanted to develop her own. And we got to see that in the Semi-finals and the Finals of the Wallace Cup, where May defeated Dawn’s toughest rival, Zoey by utilising her own tactics against her in a very Ash/Drew-like style.

Nevertheless, we also saw that old habits die hard, as to some extent as May still relies on luck-based moves as shown in the final where May had Glaceon use Secret Power which worked the first time and paralysed Piplup however, the second time it backfired and ended up making Piplup shine more in comparison to Glaceon.

All in all, we also learnt of May’s progress in Johto we essentially got to see it for ourselves, which is something fans who have followed May’s journey appreciate all the more.

Dawn’s Development:

As I mentioned in the previous section, it felt like as of late former main cast members was being brought back to help develop members of the main cast. What I love about the Wallace Cup arc, was that even though May was the more experienced Coordinator, at the time they were going through a similar experience and were both on losing streaks. In Dawn’s case, she needed to regain her confidence after two consecutive failures in the Performance Stage, the second time in which she over-compensated for the previous loss.

However, from this experience, Dawn didn’t just regain her confidence, she learnt that simplicity is best and can allow her Pokémon to shine and be the focus. This can be seen in her later Contest performances and in Arriving in Style! In which her Pokémon do something as simple as spinning or jumping whilst uniquely utilising their moves and remaining the focus of the audience.

Moreover, many fans were upset that May, the more experienced Coordinator had lost to Dawn in the Finals. All things considered, Dawn only beat May by half a point, Dawn could have edged May out at several points in the battle as Contests aren’t about strength, the victor is who best displays their Pokémon strengths. With May, having relied on luck-based moves too much, to Dawn utilising previously used tactics such as Piplup riding his Whirlpool (from Dawn’s second Contest) to using May’s water curtain tactic from the Semi-Finals against her.

To this day, this is still one of my favourite battles from the Pokémon anime, not only because I love Contests, seeing our two main Coordinators going up against one another but seeing Dawn having the confidence in her own tactics but being influenced by those around her as well.

The setting:

As I mentioned in the introduction, I believe the setting is one of the core reasons why the Wallace Cup arc was so successful. Having May’s return be featured in a Contest setting just makes so much sense. Not only that, but it allowed us to see May’s growth alongside Dawn. However, we also got to see Ash and Buizel’s relationship develop and to see Ash successfully execute one of his best strategies for the first time with the Ice Aqua Jet.

Conclusion:

Overall, in my opinion, the Wallace Cup arc is one of the best narrative uses of a former main character. As it not only allowed our current cast to develop but it allowed us to see first-hand, May’s growth and aggressive battle style that she’s developed in Johto, especially those who had been following May’s journey from a naïve beginner trainer to the fierce Coordinator she is today.

Dawn’s growth was great from re-gaining her confidence and not allowing it to become over-confidence. Learning simple is best, and that tactic allowed her Pokémon to shine the most. Ash developing new strategies and bonding with his Pokémon. And some slight plot progression to the overarching narrative/story of DP.

The pacing and length of this arc, was just right, as it didn’t feel too long or too short and every episode fulfilled the job it had set out to do. It's nice to experience short story arcs, as it gives the audience a chance to be gripped to a story/narrative and I enjoy having that sense of focus in a story.

Honestly, I think the writers had hit the nail on the head, with this arc and it's sad they couldn’t really replicate the success of the Wallace Cup arc with future character returns. I have seen over the years that the Pokémon anime is capable of some great story-telling and amazing character arcs as shown by this entire post. This is why, I’m finding some aspects of Journeys frustrating, that they set up some amazing plot lines or potential development and fall flat on the delivery or don’t even act on it.

I don’t know if it’s just me setting my expectations too high or I’m being overly critical. I would like to think it's healthy to have some criticisms of a series rather than to just blindly love it. Initially, I did enjoy Journeys but after the episode 60 mark, my enjoyment began to wear thin which makes me sad as I genuinely love to watch the anime alongside playing the games. Anyways, I feel better getting this off my chest and if anyone actually read the entirety of this post thank you! I’m thinking of making another post possibly focusing on why I’m not enjoying the episodic formula of Journeys but that might be another day!

#pokemon #pokeani #analysis #may (pokemon)#dawn (pokemon)#ash ketchum

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #449-450

(both from yesterday)

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.

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Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."

#survey #surveys #random questions

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wondereads · 4 years ago

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Personal Recommendation (2/28/21)

Damsel by Elana K. Arnold

Why am I recommending this book?

I loved this one. I finished it in less than two hours and then spent an extra hour lying there thinking about how great it was. I think this is the first book I’ve felt this way about in a long time, so anticipate a very long, spoiler-filled review. (Please keep in mind, this review discusses things like rape, abuse, and extreme misogyny. If this is a trigger for you, please do not read this review! Also, if you’re looking to avoid spoilers, skip to the Overall section.)

Want something quick and short? Check out my tiktok

Plot 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

In the land of Harding, it’s tradition that after the previous king dies, the prince will venture out, slay a dragon, and rescue a damsel. When Ama wakes up in the arms of Prince Emory of Harding, she has no memory of the dragon or anything before that. However, as she starts her new life as Emory’s fiancée, she starts to realize that life in the palace isn’t quite what it seems.

One thing you must understand is that this book is character-driven. There is no grand plan or kingdom-threatening evil. It’s all about Ama and how she deals with life in Harding. As such, the plot section will be a little short. The gradual transition that takes place in Ama from her arrival to the wedding is very well done, and the slow revelations that take place really begin to up the ante towards the end. Even if this wasn’t the most exciting book I’d ever read, I was entirely invested in Ama and her search for the truth.

There was also a very cool bit of symbolism in this book with the comparison of Sorrow, Ama’s lynx kit, and Pawlin’s falcon. The falcon represents what Emory wishes Ama to be, the perfect pet. An obedient creature that will always return to him. Sorrow represents what Ama actually is. A wild animal that was partially trained before eventually finding freedom again. Both Ama and Sorrow return to Harding with Emory, are trained to behave a certain way, and face pain and sickness before escaping.

Also, this was the most satisfying ending to a book that I’ve read in a long time. It’s a bit open in that we don’t know what the characters will be doing after or what will happen in Harding, but Ama gets what she wants and takes out the people who were keeping it from her, and even though I don’t know what will happen to her after, I know it’ll probably be something good.

Characters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Now, this is the section that will be quite long. Ama has her quirks and traits, but I believe that first and foremost she is average. She has the sort of compassion that you would expect from any human being, and she doesn’t always speak out. Sometimes, she’s scared, and she ends up giving in. As the story progresses, Ama begins to lose some of her fire, she begins to give up. It’s very easy to see how her treatment is having an effect on her character, and that’s why I felt so strongly about her arc. Seeing her gradually lose herself makes me all the more insistent that she will win in the end. And she does, and it’s a very satisfying win at that. I’m particularly fond of how she turns Emory’s words on him during her escape.

Emory is an incredibly well-written character. The transition from savior to captor is very smooth and convincing. When Ama first meets Emory, he’s very sweet. He showers her with compliments, he prioritizes her comfort over his own, and he protects her fiercely. He was so nice that I at first thought that he would be Ama’s ally in Harding. However, once Ama and Emory enter Harding, a place where he is now king, he changes. He expects Ama to fit the mold of the perfect bride; quiet, docile, pretty. He humiliates her, does whatever he pleases, and he can get away with it all because he has undeniable power there. To put it simply, Emory slowly begins to show the classic signs of an abuser. He exerts his power in every way, he cuts her off from the outside world, he tries to deprive her of Sorrow, her only protector, and he and his friends gaslight her at every turn. And it’s slow enough that by the time Ama is exposed, she’s already under the watchful eye of an entire kingdom. A realization of Ama’s puts it in perfect terms - he likes her best when she’s in need of rescuing.

Ama and Emory at first seem like the perfect couple. It matches what we have been taught, the brave prince and the beautiful damsel, and Emory is dedicated to the show. In fact, Emory never once physically abuses Ama. He loves to give her compliments, and it’s obvious he genuinely wants to marry her. Unfortunately, the reasons for marrying Ama are probably due to his coronation and his belief that, as king, he needs a damsel as queen. The psychological abuse on Ama is profound, and, because of the culture in Harding, he can get away with it no problem. It’s only through Ama’s own strength and the help she receives from other girls, such as Tillie and the queen mother, that she is able to escape.

The last major character I want to talk about is the queen mother. She is very important for Ama’s discoveries, and she’s a classic abuse victim. She has come to accept what happens in Harding as the norm, and she encourages Ama to accept it as well so she won’t get hurt. However, she still is an important character to Ama, and she still, perhaps on purpose, helps Ama escape what she had to experience. I have high hopes for her at the end.

Writing Style 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

This book is written in a similar style to a typical fairytale. It has similar language, and a lot of the descriptions, especially of Ama’s inner feelings, are rather abstract. It really does feel like an exceptionally long fable. Also, the pacing in this book, the way the revelations of Emory’s character and Ama’s memory are spread out, is perfect. It held my attention just enough, and once it began to pick up speed towards the end I was absolutely ready for it. It’s not hard to predict what the big secret is. Odds are, if you’re on Tumblr as much as I am, you could tell by the time you finished the summary. However, Arnold leaves it right up to the last moment to reveal what impact that secret will have. Although it was the ending I was hoping for, I wasn’t sure it would be right up until it happened.

Meaning 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

There is some great commentary in Damsel on rape culture, psychological abuse, and the effects of misogyny. First of all, Harding is one of the most misogynistic kingdoms in the fictional world. The worst part is, most of it isn’t through actual physical threats to women. There is one scene where two men attempt to sexually assault Ama. However, her savior is Emory, her abuser.

The big problem in Harding is the absolute dehumanization that woman face. Multiple times, women are referred to as vessels, having no worth beyond the children they carry and raise. It is so heavily ingrained into the damsels when they arrive that the queen mother believes it to be true. All of the girls that have lived in Harding, such as Tillie, agree with it as well. Women are expected to sit quietly and look pretty while the men around them make crude jokes and treat them like objects. This is why Emory can do what he does. He can almost rape Ama and literally lead her around on a leash because the entire society of which he is king is filled with enablers and bystanders. Ama knows throughout the entire book that the way Emory treats her is wrong. It goes against her very nature, but she submits to it. Why? Because everyone around her acts like it’s normal. Because it’s better than being held captive by a dragon. Because it’s better than being on the streets where much worse could happen to her. Because it’s just the way things are.

Damsel has some pretty powerful statements on how rape culture can enable abuse and psychologically wear down women. It shows what horrible things a abuse victim can be subjected to. However, it also shows what happens when Tillie and the queen mother help Ama in the little ways they can. It shows that woman can stand up to their abusers and have a much brighter future; that they are not defined by what they have endured. And I think that’s why I loved this book so much.

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I was wholly invested in the book. I absolutely loved it, and I will definitely be getting a personal copy for myself. Ama’s journey of self-discovery (literally) pulls the reader in, and Emory’s quiet transition is so subtle and powerful. The social commentary is amazing, and you will absolutely love Sorrow. Please do keep in mind that this book deals with some heavy topics such as rape and abuse, so do not read it if you have issues with that. I would recommend this book to people who enjoy fantasy, fractured fairytales, and people getting what they deserve.

The Author

Elana K. Arnold: American, also wrote A Boy Called Bat, What Girls Are Made Of, and Red Hood

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every two weeks, and I take recommendations. Check out my about me post for more!

#damsel #elana k arnold #fantasy #ya #books #recommendations #reviews #tw: rape #tw: abuse

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