#but also i dont remember anything really about the books...
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a day off with spence
hi cuties! pls be nice this is my first post š«§ and also plssss send some requests or head cannons!
you both forget to turn off your alarms after such a long week so your 5 am wake up call startled the both of you to say the least
after a moment of panic you realize you dont have to get up, turn the alarm off, and cuddle back into spencer
he doesnāt really know if heāll fall asleep again after that but he doesnāt mind, heāll take the time to memorize each āimperfectionā on your perfect face as you sleep
as the sun comes up, he realizes he hates the taste of morning breath and thinks about getting up soon but really doesnāt even want to think about being away from you for even a second
the nature of your job doesnāt really allow for sleeping in and soon enough you stir, looking up into his sweet eyes, spencer feels caught, like an adolescent boy who was caught ogling the prettiest girl in class
after a few soft āi love yousā, you both get up and decide to order in for breakfast, not wanting to cook anything after such a long week ( mainly wanting to spend as much time cozied up together as you could)
the rest of the morning is slow until you have to go out to the store to get groceries for dinner (because you havenāt been home in a week nearly every fresh food has gone stale or mushy and a frozen meal isnāt very appealing at the moment)
on the way back from the store spencer reminds you of a little restaurant youād been waiting to try. you both walk in, hand in hand, and stare at the menu above the counter as you wait in line
leaving with a new favorite restaurant, you remember your cold groceries and although spencer doesnāt like the idea of how many people had been in the taxi and the last time it had been disinfected, he opted for the faster route home
with several hours left until it would be socially acceptable to start dinner, you both decided on putting away groceries and putting on a show. spencer reached for a new book from the shelf and joined you on the couch
spencer catches you deep in thought when you dont hear him gently saying your name. overthinking is his brand so when he cant exactly decipher the look on your face, a brief moment of worry is draped over him
when you realize heās just staring at you the same way youād been looking at the wall, you give him a soft smile and ask, āwhats going on in that head of yours?ā
deep conversations about the way neither of you ever thought you deserved to be awarded love like this ensue, to spencer every breath you take is special, he realizes heās found home and he wants to spend the rest of his life there.
a few episodes no one payed attention to passed and the sky started to marble in hues of pinks and orange and you couldnāt be happier
the sun starts to set early and typically you start to feel a little worse, with spencer, you forget all about that feeling
the oven beeps and thereās a pot boiling over on the stove as you and spencer run around the kitchen giggling, both of you are perfectionistās but in this moment you dont care for anything but eachother
dinner tastes slightly off and you remember you forgot to add the salt, spencer tells you he doesnāt care and praises you for doing the majority of the work to make this meal
a slow shower later, and after staring at each other in the mirror with mouths full of toothpaste, you think about how lucky you are to be wrapped in the arms of the love of your life while he recites poems with the occasional yawn
you arenāt ready for sleep to take over and you want to relive the day a hundred times over
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
k so did we like it or should i just delete everything and never come on tumblr againš
#spencer reid x bau!reader#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fic
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(i was the nonnie who asked about how america works) i don't really wanna keep going back and forth with this cause i dont wanna be annoying or anything, but i did a little bit of research and... that's not really what i've seen??
for all the economy stuff, Biden still had four (or is it five? idk how long your presidents stay in office) years to fix the economy he got from trump if it really was bad, and what ive seen from gas prices and grocery prices in america, he clearly hasn't done that
kamala also had four years to fix the issues she was talking about, so there's that
also, from what i know (pls correct me if im wrong) all of those sexual assault cases and other charges placed against him were proven wrong. i dont think hes actually been indicted or placed in jail for anything (which ig you could sum up to the unfair legal system over there, but wasn't there that hole issue with the Clinton guy?? maybe im getting things confused, idk)
from my research didn't he also provide a lot more jobs for people of color? ive never heard him say anything explicitly racist during his rally's (i havent watched all of them) or with his legislation. ik that whole thing with the border wall was going on, and i do think that was 100% rash way to deal with the border crisis, but the Biden guy also didn't do anything to help that situation
for reproductive rights, i remember tuning into the kamala v. trump debate and he explicitly said that he was pro-abortion in the cases of rape, incest, and life of the mother (if you think that abortion should be okay in any circumstance, the ig its just a different morality, where i live thats very not okay)
for the banning books thing, ive seen plenty of clips where in elementary school library's theyve been putting out books with porn and smut in them, which i think is not okay for little children to be leanring. from what i understand, that's probably what he was trying to do with banning books (again, pls correct me if im wrong)
and i've also never really seen him display any sort of homophobic tendencies.
pls keep in mind that this is all very basic level research, as i dont really have time to go that in depth, but im majoring in politcial science at my uni, so i think this is an interesting and important topic to discuss (sorry for making this so long)
so you seem pretty pro trump at this point but Iāll still humor you if you want to be so forgiving of him.
Who told you those sexual assault cases werenāt true? Those victims still stand by their stories.
And I said Iām not saying that Biden is great. But he was still working with Trumps fuck up. Also idk how much you know about a vice president, but they canāt really do much when theyāre not president. Iām not saying Harris did everything she coudlve done, but being a vp has a lot less power than you think.
And for reproductive rights, yeah right. Those fuckers donāt give a DAMN about any cases. Even if they say they do. They want it gone, point blank period.
And one of his first days of office he took away trans people from the military. He spews homophobia.
Do more research. This is embarrassing
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i just watched geek girl on netflix! i have some... criticism... but i actually really enjoyed it! very cute and has similar vibes to like angus, thongs and perfect snogging/bend it like beckham (which side note: both great movies directed by the same woman) but yeah! has the vibes of a 2000s british movie - combined with the under-rated use of a teen girl voice over!
#i dont want to get too into my criticism -- but it was mostly surrounding like representation (and nick...)#the main takeaway should be that i enjoyed the show! and it was great as someone who read the books as a kid#but also i dont remember anything really about the books...#also nick was american and that was just so jarring at times like i would not really notice and then boom! american accent#slay yuji tho#(not the first time ive said that --> as a jjk stan)#geek girl#geek girl netflix#geek girl show#netflix#wildlywatches <3#wildlywatches <3 geek girl#hope they do a s2 or smth! gave me the same feeling when i finished as i had with angus thongs and perfect snogging#urgh now imagining geek girl but with (young) aaron taylor johnson!#also so many posts under the 'geek girl' tag which are.... n sfw... like so shocking when i was just trying to see discourse about the show
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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Hi kit! Any books recs or your favourite ones? Iāve been having a thought time at uni and I need a break
hmmm well not sure what you're in the mood for, but i just read what we fed to the manticore and i cannot recommend it enough!!! it's not exactly lighthearted but it is really touching, approaching environmental conservation and even military oppression through the perspective of animals. i also finally just finished pageboy, which took me some time to read but i recommend it if you're interested in celeb memoirs (emphasis on celeb memoir; while i liked page's stream of consciousness about his experiences, it's very raw and lacking introspection, imo. but still worth a read if you're interested).
otherwise i don't have much to recommend that i haven't already before, i'm trying to really get back into reading consistently this year (and reading books that are actually good lol) a lot of the books i read last year weren't really good enough for me to want to recommend.
but i did really like minor detail, but if you're looking for a break maybe skip it for now as it's a very heavy read. if you're looking for a quick and weird extreme horror book then i'd recommend to be devoured.
i'm now reading i shudder at your touch which i linked a few days ago, i'm about 3 stories in and i've really enjoyed the second and third one (sea lovers was like right up my alley), but the first one is kinda a slog to get through (or not, if you like stephen king i guess)
#im also like 4 pages into house of hunger so i cant really say anything about it yet. but i am reading it#and im reading cobalt red but ive been put in time out by spotify and ran out of audiobook minutes so. i cant read anymore of that#for like 8 more days lol#like i said unfortunately most of the books i read last year simply. were not very good#aside from the few ive already recommended before#its hard for me to say any favorite books bc its been so long since ive read some of these#who knows if they hold up....#i used to be obsessed with the night circus by erin morgenstern tho. i should reread that bc i dont really remember much#i also always recommend the southern reach trilogy#ask#anonymous
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Time to start reading The Queen of the Damned I GUESS
#the last/only time i read it was probably like 2006? 2007?#here is what i remember about it#lestat continues being a rockstar#armand is like dating daniel and trying to dress modern in jean jackets and shit#louis is just like lestats cute groupie? i forget if he does anything hahaha he like never does anything after book 1 tbh#but thats why we love im hes just there being a cute passive buzzkill like he always does best#theres a lot of akasha the queen and theres a big like vampire war or something??#i really dont remember a whole lot else at all#also i remember watching the movie based on it and its so funny and so bad fjdkdkss#full of nu metal and shit#anyways im sorry to subject you all to my vampire chronicles enthusiasm#I KNOW IT'S NOT COOL OK BELIEVE ME I KNOW#however this series really is one of the all-time entertaining series to me#and it's like the most junk foody of junk foods for me entertainment wise#i always feel almost queasy after bingeing on it too much and yet#then i want more the next day#i have grown accustomed to a daily dose of their undead drama and cannot go without for very long#i wonder how far ill get into the series this time#i got so mad at how every book got further and further away from focusing on the main characters i actually cared about after a bit iirc#maybe this time i will actually stick it out#i stopped after book 6 the first time around and there's apparently like 13?#and apparently the last 3 or 4 of those are p new and were written after i dropped it as well#vampire chronicles spoilers#interview with the vampire spoilers#p#vmpcs
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im sure im gonna be singing this bookās praises but rn i just wanna get this out of the way- i get the feeling that gar face didnt age well
#naturally theres the whole āāoh hes got a disfigured face and hes the evil oneāā#thing#but also him being an abuse victim. i dont remember how much they go into his family#or if they leave it at just that one chapter#i dont think ill harp toooo much on this bc like. its an issue worth talking about yes#but at the same time i dont really blame a kids book for not grasping all the nuances of child abuse#and i dont think appelt was going āādisabled abuse victims are badāā or anything. theyre common tropes unfortunately#but. im only on the first gar face chapter idk lol#from what i remember he serves his purpose as an antagonist well enough#the underneath liveread#edit on his second chapter: yeahhh sorry underneathheads i am remembering how much i didnt care for him lol#like. again he serves his purpose well in thr story from what i remember#hes a good contrast to how the animals and shapeshifters are written#but hes just kiiiinda boring to me. im kinda glazing over the alligator king chapter
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BED!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
#also I FOUND MY WEIGHTED BLANKET!!!!! IT'S UNDER MY DUVET BUT YK#also yhe pride flag will be repositioned dont worry#going on a bit of a ramble rn but like. ive just found a couple things that have been hiding under the drawers of my old bed#for example i found a cool bandana i thought i lost for like. a year. and now im obsessed with it so prepare to see that maybe#and i also found a snood i had that still fits me even though i even wore it in first school#and the crazy thing is that i dont remember#anything of first school#the only thing i have are school books from yr 4 and that snood#along witg like. old pictures of me#then again they look absolutely nothing like me. like. blonde with really long hair?? nu uh not me (not anymore at least)#i dont remember much of anything now that i think about it#i dont remember what i did last year#i cant even remember what year i came out as trans#i cant remember when i joined tumblr#and when i first made rayan or foster or zuriel or ailean or even the day i made ruaridh#perhaps its my shit sense of time but i have such a horrible memory that first school may have never happened if it werent for the fuzzy and#few things i actually. remembered. though i doubt i remember them correctly#idk if its anything that Happenedā¢ that blocked out my memory or something. i know a certain thing may have since it kinda scarred me (ig??#idk i dont wanna sound overdramatic) but. you know im just a silly guy with a silly memory#anyway sorry for that vent lmao
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I for sure have different opinions about characters in 2024 than i did in whatever the other years were. Espec Aramis. I was gonna write a big post but actually all I really mean is I like him. I got a bit into negative against Aramis things last time around, I intend to keep on liking him this time. this time around i am watching for pure hedonism to enjoy the characters doing fun fighty things and then I will read many fanfictions,
#I remember being very against what he does in s2 to marguerite but really. Ihaven't got there yet but I think this time i will have differen#will have different thoughts. also i really enjoy him and porthos and intend to carry on with that so.#I think as much as I may have ranted (ah. I definitelly... ANWHAY) I was prob as much just annoyed at him and anne being not a story I care#about or wanted. Which I guess is a me thing. I GUESS. I qute liked sylvie and athos doing their thing in s3 and dart and constance are#whatever I guess but I love constance an awful lot so I suppose I never minded them so much.#I am biased against anything to do with anne which is unfair. I try so hard to like her.#Also milady I think I just don't understand what the fuck they did with her in the tv story. I say this like there is another thing where#another thing where I do understand the fuck they did with her. there isn't. I dont even rlly remember what Dumas did with her in the books#other than row her across a river and behead her after his grim little musketeers judge judy and executioners scene.
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if no one ever takes any of my other media recommendations, you should all check out just a single episode of Just King Things, a podcast where two media academics who grew up on his books read all the works of stephen king in publication order.
pick one for a book you hate! pick a book you love! pick a book you saw the movie for! or start at the beginning and listen to the whole thing despite having never read or watched a single stephen king art object (like me!)
i truly think JKT provides such an extremely helpful and nuanced and important take on media analysis Especially in terms of like, online pop culture analysis, and it's been so extremely useful and validating to listen to the boys discuss king's works in a way that holds the critiques and their enjoyment of his work in both hands as equal and looks at them all at once.
like whenever i get fed up and feel like im banging my head against the wall seeing people turn their likes&dislikes into something with a moral basis because thats the only "valid" way to criticize something online in fan spaces, or on the flip side seeing people explode about any criticism of a piece of media they like as though it is a personal attack on their own status as a "good person," its so so so nice and refreshing to be able to take a step back and listen to the hosts talk about these books in such a measured and complex way.
(and also, if you chuck $5 their way, you too can receive emails like this from the boys:
Transcript:
You ever wonder what would happen if a guy who did murders appeared on an island during the worst storm of the century? You ever think about who would get hurt if he had powerful psychic energies that zinged and zonked all of the most sinful people? You think about that stuff? Do you? Why?Ā
Also he's a wizard.
Join us as we talk about the miniseries event of the millennium, 1999's Storm of the Century, onĀ the bonus episode post.
End transcript.)
#my posts#like really and truly it is so refreshing and has given me new tools for analysis#and has also introduced me to a ton of books ill never read because i dont like them BUT i still enjoyed hearing about them!!!#and the bonus episodes are SO worth it bc i know nothing about film and cameron knows so much and i get to learn everything#they read 5 star reviews sometimes if they are funny and there was one thats like 'this is great for if you miss sitting in a lecture hall-#-but could never remember anything for tests' or something similar. and yeah exactly!!!#they are also very very funny.
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weird question but. does anyone know any horror game playthroughs good for someone who gets scared really easily HJEBDJFB
what i mean is like. i like the mystery and aesthetics of horror But i'm a wimp and watch playthroughs while doing something else so i'm not completely unnerved and jumpscares dont hit as hard bc i'm not looking directly at them
#clai speaks#i was watching someone play phasmophobia earlier for instance. that was okay#honestly tho i think i liked reading the descriptions of the ghosts in the book the most though HJSVDHBF I LIKE FLAVOR TEXT#also recently started watching someone's playthrough of sally face?#i dont know anything about it really i just remembered the title from Ages ago and that it was popular#thats pretty okay too so far#its rough being a coward with an interest in ghost stories HSJBDJFB
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do autistic people with special interests like trains or bugs sometimes absolutely hate that they have a special interest in that? like my special interests are psychology and supernatural and both of them make me want to scrape the inside of my brain with a spoon sometimes. Like I hate that I can't control these thing and like cant just give my self a new interest. Like i can try but some of them are just SO sicky.
#star trek also to a degree but like only TOS so i dont really mention it š
#when i was a kid i was into paleontology and space i never hated liking those#but i wasnt like. I didnt have a cool knowlege bank like other autistic kids#like i really sucked at my special interests#edit: like i tried i read a bunch of books and stuff but it was just really hard to remember things that i wanted to rember like the numbers#the closest i got was a bunch of facts about mars#i think it was the DID lol#edit2: OMG and the paranormal i was so into cryptozoology and ghosts and shit#but i never got into creepy pastas or anything like other kids#Or like anything online#really
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fucked up what happened to mike crew.
#i think that and maybe leitner voice debut and the whole dark ritual story arc are some of the only things ive actually really really-#disliked about the podcast#NOT THAT THE LEITNER VOICE DEBUT WAS BAD#i just think that it took away from a lot of the tension that was building however i do love brutal pipe murder#also making the avatars so easy to kill just humanizes them too much to me which i think is the opposite of what was trying to be done#like the put so so so much emphasis on how michael isnt michael anymore he's something else and how jon is slowly losing his humanity#and thats a lot of the horror is losing your humanity#which i understand some avatars are going to be more human than others but yknow#its also a horror podcast#theres something terrifying about living so long being stuck in a not quite human state not being able to go on without feeding your fear#you technically dont have as much autonomy as you think you do and thats terrifying#but that kind of gets lost when you make it so easy to kill some of them#and like didnt jon also...have to go see the flesh to even get bones out of himself like he was having physical issues with?? bleeding??#i dunno#i actually didnt mind gerry's explanation of things#i know some people did but its just as cryptic as any other explanation#like the fears cant really be rationalised whatever you think you know about them is wrong#like he also didnt really know fuck all about anything else jon asked him#you gotta remember he really just wanted to get out of that book as well#āyeah the world changes in terrible ways for YOU. im a bookā#āyou cant be serious.ā āim dead seriousā#so realistically with how little gertrude actually told him about any of it and how much he just wanted to get out of the book yknow you#gotta take everything he said with a grain of salt#SORRY FOR RANTING ON MAIN I WAS JUST HAVING THOUGHTS#stickers lore
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Not people being bitchy and saying you don't like a book unless you can quote it
But they won't even tell you if they read it
#i really cant with how some guys are unable to talk about interests#like why are you so fucking pressed about if i truly fucking like something#and ofcourse the test of me liking it is if i enjoyed it the way you did#like fuck you dude if im gonna have a pop quiz about book excerpts and character names#and not the gushing/venting discussing the story and its characters#and this comes from a person who adores quotes#i just usually dont remember any#thats why i fucking write them down#and even if i didnt#i dunno#honestly if someone said they just read the book i like#i would be excited like just tell me anything about it#and oh also if anyone is reading this far#send me gushes about the book you read or are reading#or vents or just thoughts#it can be anon too and if its heavy spoiler just put it in but honestly#if youre gonna talk about it i dont mind spoiling myself
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.
#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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When I love a song, Iāll love it forever
#random post#smth i thought about earlier. yknow. I have a hard time picking favorites with literally everything#I also have what I SAY is a favorite of mine. but I have a hard time really pinpointing whats number 1 in my brain#like. I love lots of things. I like different aesthetics and clothing and art mediums and movies and shows and books and music and people#but itās difficult trying to find the favorite. some things are easier cus thereās more that I DONT like so it kinda singles out an option#like with music. I love LOTS of music. but what does it mean when smth is a favorite? I donāt have a favorite genre cus I have songs I love#from all over. even ones I havenāt heard yet. music overall is one of my favorite things. Iām not joking when I say itās a love language#I love the melodies and beats and rhythms and lyrics and voices. always and forever will have a place in my heart and mind#I hate questions that want to know favorites. isnāt it enough to just show you instead? to share everything with you? why do you need one#single thing to know exactly who I am? wouldnāt you get me better if you spent a day with me instead?#I canāt remember everything of importance to me. not all in one single moment. if I went through my playlists and told you what songs I love#and why. what books I love and why. what anything I love and why. youād find that Iām a bit undefined. Iām an artist and a creator. strong#yet weak imagination. sometimes think better in the abstract and other times do better with whatās set in stone#I love sharing things with people. I wish people would engage more with what I share sometimes. but I never hold it against em or hate them#if they donāt haha. often I feel down when ppl donāt engage with what I share. I know people arenāt obligated to do things but. yknow. itās#my heart in a platter. splayed our for everyone. bits of me I want to share. what I want people to see. Iāve sat down with people to share#music I like. one friend said a song I like was scary. some people make faces at what I play. some have paid it no mind at all. they donāt#even know how important to me sharing something like that is. hell. how important me sharing ANYTHING is. itās so easy to hide away#everything about myself. yet here I am trying my hardest to open myself up. yea. wish I was able to connect with someone like that#in person I mean. I guess. I just want to lay down with someone and play music we love. explain why we love it. or try to understand why#idk Iām getting rambly. I just want to do new things forever. and relive the first time everytime#this isnāt a vent or anything. just thinking and writing as I do. typing helps me to keep my mind on track. a bit at least. as much as one#with a brain like mine can havagahhaga. I wonder if anyone actually reads through my tag rambles in their entirety. I know it looks daunting#so I donāt blame you if you canāt or donāt feel like it. it wonāt kill me if my words are lost in the void#haha anyways yea :> thinking lots
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