#like i really sucked at my special interests
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do autistic people with special interests like trains or bugs sometimes absolutely hate that they have a special interest in that? like my special interests are psychology and supernatural and both of them make me want to scrape the inside of my brain with a spoon sometimes. Like I hate that I can't control these thing and like cant just give my self a new interest. Like i can try but some of them are just SO sicky.
#star trek also to a degree but like only TOS so i dont really mention it 😅#when i was a kid i was into paleontology and space i never hated liking those#but i wasnt like. I didnt have a cool knowlege bank like other autistic kids#like i really sucked at my special interests#edit: like i tried i read a bunch of books and stuff but it was just really hard to remember things that i wanted to rember like the numbers#the closest i got was a bunch of facts about mars#i think it was the DID lol#edit2: OMG and the paranormal i was so into cryptozoology and ghosts and shit#but i never got into creepy pastas or anything like other kids#Or like anything online#really
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whatever. go my scarab
ive been watching scruffys pikmin 4 playthrough (go check it out!!!!)
#specifically referencing ep11 for anyone curious but i dont wanna spoil anything.. youll know it when you see it lol#ive never played pikmin and i already know for a fact id suck ass at it bc i can only do one thing at a time. i have zero dandori#actually i have zero interest in the dandori challenges bc im more focused on the creatures and areas. id be cooked#but its still fascinating to watch how the planning and strategy works in real time and goes so well with exploring#and if youre like me and has shown little interest in pikmin games his videos are a nice warm hug for looking into it#scruffy has a nice voice and explains everything like pointing out which enemies are from prev pikmin games and how they work#and pays special attention to the adaptive music cues which pikmin is known for and its really cool to see it dissected#his other videos also pick apart sound design in other video games i highly recommend his fnaf ones. theyre excellent#scruffy youtube#myart#my art#doodles#pikmin#pikmin 4#flying pikmin
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Hey, I’m new to Tumblr, but I’ve seen your characters around the internet and I love them so much!! Everyone has so much love for Machete and Vasco and your art is so cool to see! Do you have any tips for an aspiring artist and creative writer?
Hi! Welcome to tumblr! I'm glad to hear you like my dogs :]
I'm not really a writer, and I also completely lose my confidence when I'm trying to explain my art processes. So this is probably an obvious, unhelpful platitude at best, but one thing I've realized is that you should allow yourself to be self-indulgent. If you're the primary target audience of your own work, it generates passion and keeps you inspired and motivated. I like to believe that people who see your creations are more likely to respond to them positively if they can sense that you're putting your heart and soul to them.
#if you have any special interests that you're really knowledgeable about you can try including them in your art/writing somehow#even if it seems kind of an odd match they may merge into an interesting and potentially unique combination#like this Vaschete era I'm going through is a product of lifelong interest in animals history art and religion#just jamming all of my favorite topics and themes in there#be forgiving to yourself when things fon't work out as smoothly as you had hoped#and try to cultivate a positive relationship with the creative process and end results#meaning if you have a habit of putting yourself down and saying your art/writing sucks#try not to do that#it can lead you to resent the whole hobby and stifle your potential#I dunno this probably comes across so vague and nebulous#answered#sagepuca#tldr: be excited about whatever you create#make art/stories that you yourself would look at and think 'this is the coolest thing it's like it was tailored just for me'#also like I'm just some guy you don't have to take my advice these are just some things that have helped me personally#your experience and approach might be different
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the poor little meow meow-ifictation of saionji in this fandom has got to stop i can't take it any more
#he is an interesting character yes and i like him but some of you act like he is eternally and exclusively a victim which is not true#yes he is a victim of akio and of the narrative (like every other character. he is not perticularly special in this regard)#no he is not a victim of the patriarchy (he in fact benefits from it directly at the cost of the girls around him)#no he is not a victim of wakaba (??not sure where this even came from) no he is not a victim of anthy (watch the first episode again maybe)#some of you are at all times 2 steps away from becoming the next misandry in the utena fandom person#“erm the way he is punished by the narrative for failing to live up to the masculine ideal of the prince-#-is basically just as bad as the systemic abuse he participates in putting girls through“#good lord i do not want to hear your takes on any real world feminist issues#m#bad takes#(should probably remember to use that tag. even though this isn't really about anything super specific)#and it's not about any of my mutuals to be clear. you all know how to actually be critical of how much he sucks#AND write good nuanced analysis. shockingly you can do both. actually i don't think one is possible without the other
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things that are hard to find: writing advice that isn't condescending.
#ambie.txt#I've been really thinking about this story in my head and wondering what caused me to get burned out from writing#and realising it's all the formal bits. planning an outline organising things into a timeline. I'm more of an impulse writer#and having to think about all those dry and formal things makes me quit before I even start#this is my autism but I hate having to stop and figure out all this before I write because that way I won't write at all#ever since I started free writing I discovered that I still love writing. I love it so much#but I hate doing all of the other things because they are not my special interest and they keep me from pursuing my special interest#it's just very hard to find writing advice that isn't condescending in this aspect#people stressing out you need an outline first are very common unfortunately#I'm more of a vibes no plot person and like to just discribe the vibes in vivid detail#before worrying about the plot too much. and yes in a story there had to be a plot#but if worrying about the plot and connecting all the scenes is killing my creativity#I want to just go from details first and bigger picture later#again. autism. also writing dialogue is the worst. idk how people talk. I don't understand body language etc etc#I have written some pretty good dialogue before so I know I'm capable. it just really sucks when I have to scrutinise everything#and think “would people say this? do they talk like that?” its draining#so I was thinking about writing dialogue separately. maybe write it as a script for a play#which is essentially just dialogue. and then match it with the scene descriptions I have written#like. I know I'm a good writer. I very good one. but the way I have been writing so far has burned me out#because it was too much focused on all the boring bits and not enough on the freedom and joy of just writing#which is why I love free writing. it allows me to focus on a few tiny details and then develop them into something bigger#also I hate writing on a computer so I got some notebooks so I can write on paper instead#it's where I'm most creative I've found#anyway this all just to say that I think following writing advice is not for me at least not now when I'm rediscovering my passion#and that I need to trust myself more and do things that make me happy#so um yeah. best writing advice is to just write and worry about it later
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im kinda glad i was a tiny child when windwaker came out and i only played it years later without having internet access for the longest time bc i would have NOT survived the hatred i know ww got when it first came out bc it wasnt what most people expected (ww is my fav zelda)
loving botw but not liking totk and seeing the vast majority praise the latter like its the holy grail while alot also discrediting and needlessly hating on botw for it is already making it hard to stay calm about :U
#ganondoodles talks#special interest go brrrr#sucks when you care so much about a piece of media thats out of your control and it does something you hate#i do not control the hyperfixation#it wouldnt be so bad if people wouldnt keep hating on botw just to praise totk more tbh#and before people say but arent YOU doing the same thing in reverse???#welll ... its suppposedly a sequel yes?#direct sequels should build on the first title and totk does the opposite doesnt it?#again one of my biggest problems is that it was advertised and called a direct sequel qhen it really isnt#like at all#how some characters also made a weird turn in their personality it really does feel like it did a majoras mask thing without admitting to i#like majoras is GOOD#it was weird and kinda nonsensical but ultimately worked#can you imagine if totk just went with the whole other dimension thing properly and really went ham with it-#.... i am coming up with even more ideas for totk rewritten arent it..#anyway i dont think im gonna get a collectors edition ever again given the risk of me not liking what its for#regret spending that kind of money on it after i calmed down my fears and in the end they turned out to be mostly right#;__;
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Just gonna say that mocking people for voicing their disappointment over the stream (spongebobscreamingwithflyingicecreamtruck.png “IN A CIVIL AND POLITE MANNER”) just makes you like. An asshole lmao. People are gonna be disappointed when they’re told they’re getting one thing and getting another no matter what, even if what they get instead is really good/funny.
#seeing this from both a lot of friends and mutuals and like! hey#as someone who is disappointed it’s really bothering me seeing people who I like say rude shit that applies to me?#like yeah. hlvrai fandom is annoying we know this. yeah there’s a lot of people being dicks abt this and they suck but like#dude this was the one thing getting me through finals and failing a class im allowed to say ‘hey im disappointed the thing related to my#special interest turned out to be a trick.’ even though I still enjoyed what I watched#like yeah. I’m upset. I’m really upset actually#not over the stream being a bait in switch but from peoples reactions to it on both sides of the fence lmao#everyone is being a big fucking baby over it. the hlvrai fans yelling about how much they hate RTVS ANNNNNND the people being like#‘erm if you’re disappointed you’re a fake fan. grow up. stay mad.’ like WOW#harassing RTVS over this makes you a loser. making fun of people for being disappointed makes you a loser. congratulations youre all a bunch#of whiny ass babies screaming at eachother and at each others throats over fucking half life funny#each and everyone one of you
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Music I think Roy Kent likes and why
Madonna. In season 3, episode 3, Roy said, "[Pre-Madonna] means before Madonna, female vocalists didn't have to work that hard." This implies a great respect for Madonna and her craft. Also, it's an example of a very specific kind of queer guy misogyny that I find very humorous and implicative (of him being queer).
The Sex Pistols (and other punk rock). Two of their songs are in the Ted Lasso soundtrack. One of them specifically plays when Roy is about to do some pundit work for the first time. I think it's meant to be his hype up music. They're also, of course, anti-fascist and anti-monarchy, which I think Roy would vibe with. He's giving punk.
The music of the Muppets. Canonically (not that I necessarily consider this kind of thing canon, lol) a Muppets fan, I think he'd love the soundtracks to the movies, as well as the numbers they do on the original show.
Rap; Salt-n-Pepa, Queen Latifah, and Beyoncé. I just think he would like them. In season 1, episode 6, Keeley mentions that he has rapped, implying at least some interest in the genre.
Leonard Cohen. I think Roy's Jewish, and he's a broody, sensual bitch. It adds up perfectly. Sidenote: while "She's a Rainbow" by the Rolling Stones was a great choice for the song he runs home to football to, I think Cohen's "Ain't No Cure for Love" would've fucking slayyyed..."I loved you for a long, long time / I know this love is real / It don't matter how it all went wrong / That don't change the way I feel / And I can't believe that time is gonna heal / This wound that I'm speaking of" "I've got you like a habit / And I'll never get enough" "I don't need to be forgiven / For loving you so much"
Klezmer. Again, if Roy is Jewish, and we know he loves and misses his grandad...it's simple. He HAS a record player and a dope sound system, and on his shelves there ARE old klezmer records that he remembers dancing around to with his grandad in their old flat.
Amy Winehouse. Again, if Roy is Jewish, and we know he is broody and bitchy, it is a given. "Rehab" is his anthem when his knee gets bad and he is reluctant to treat it.
Disco; Donna Summer and Jessie Ware. It's just great workout music, and it slays, and if he's queer, well, yes, of course he likes disco.
Pop rock; Elton John and Queen. If he's queer...it's a given. I think he particularly likes "I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself" and "Rocket Man", as he is suicidal (I can't find the interview where Goldstein said this) (it's just Word of God anyway), and the most rocket man motherfucker ever.
The music of the people he loves; Led Zeppelin, Cream, Tina Turner, and Stevie Nicks. Phoebe, Keeley, and Jamie like these musicians. He's a caring uncle, boyfriend, and friend. He is listening and learning. Also, I think Phoebe would be into some weird stuff, like outsider music - maybe some Tiny Tim. I think Roy would also enjoy the music of other friends, from plenty of other genres.
#also. i rly disagree w the term outsider music but it gets the point across so yknow.#also i have this hc that he plays the drums bc his sister wanted to play music at some point and he was like ok i will play toys w u fine.#and she plays guitar :)#my posts#ted lasso#i also think he is maybe one of those celebrities who is multidisciplinary. so yes he has released a few eps. under a pseudonym ofc#then again i kinda think he's one of those guys who is really good at one thing and THINKS they suck at everything else. so like he happens#to play music around people every once in a while and they're like whatttt u r amazing? and he's like shut up i'm garbage. yeah#I ALSO THINK ROY IS RLY INTO BASEBALL. why? um. if u ask him he'll say some shit like 'i'm a fucking athlete ofc i follow other sports. no#it's not weird that it's not a very british thing. get the fuck out of my face.' the real answer is he watch a league of their own as a kid#purely for madonna and a special interest was born#inspired#roy kent#also! jamie is a HUGE music snob. i just know this to be true#like. the only musicians we've heard him mention (i think) are tina turner and stevie nicks. whenever roy grabs the aux and bumps madonna o#any music from this century he resists the urge to reach over and strangle him
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thinking about how ivypool thought dovewing got favoritism from the clan growing up and continued to enforce the idea that dove was an entitled bitch, and then she participated when the clan was manipulating and guilt tripping dovewing into a relationship with an entitled creep who didnt respect her, telling her she owed him affection
#‘’my sister gets so much special treatment!! anyways my clanmates are bullying her into an unhappy relationship i better get in on that’m#idea here but what if ivypool was regarded as like a hero for spying on the dark forest and is seen as a respectable warrior now#(like ffs shes getting considered for deputy)#but dovewing is now the one getting ostracized and tossed aside now that shes not ‘’useful’’ and she didnt ‘risk her life’#and now ivy has it all but she still insists on punishing dovewing for what happened when they were kids#because shes solidified the idea of dove as a whiny entitled spoiled brat who cries to get what she wants#and she absolutely refuses to change that view of her bc she wont let go of her spite#so shes controlling to dove and gets really guilt trippy when dove dares call her out on it#ok im trying not to seem like an ivypool hate blog. im not i think shes interesting and i think her being bitter is fine#my opinion of her has certainly soured over the years (and admittedly bc of the fandom)#also all this talk isnt ‘’omg this is canon this is why she SUCKS!!!!’’ its more ‘’this is probably how id go about it in my rewrite
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Ough vent but I'm just thinking about the friend I used to have who is a qsmp-er
Just venting under the cut
I genuinely can't belive I settled for a friendship so shitty. I'm very loud irl!! And aggressive!!! I can't belive I let them just... drag me along like that. I would accept their explanations and listen to all their rambles about the qsmp but if I even tried to take about my interests they would look at me weird.
I can't belive how much effort I put in. I have a shitty memory but I made an effort to remember their headcannons!! I drew them fanart when he was sad! God, I bended myself backwards to respect every single boundary they set (and mostly they were reasonable, but...)
It was one of the last times we talked that I fully realized they would never do any of that for me. It was at the start of the school year, after "The Truth" and before that, I had agreed I would not talk about the Dteam around them until the video dropped because the topic it was a bit of a trigger for my friend. When we talked face to face again it had dropped two months ago. But when I brought them up (after they talked about the qsmp) they looked at me weird and I realized they were never going to even attempt to match my energy. They just expected me to chance and stop liking what I liked.
(The way they hadn't even watched it or attempted to learn anything about it. It broke me a little. Just a few days their favorite CC had dropped a document talking about his abuse and I READ THAT SHIT. Even tho I didn't need to.)
Here's my advice: never put in more love then what you're being given, back out of any relationship that is hurting you and BY GOD DO NOT BEFRIEND A QSMP-ER
#vent#the pit in the backyard#discourse#last time I talked in any way to them about mcyt was during the gituation#it sucked#now I could really see the way they never gave me any encouragement or support#no time for me to figure this out. I was immediately being quizzed about it and about 'oh but X and Y and Z'#and the stuff they were talking about was total bulshit#like genuinely fake shit#ughhhh#i cant belive how much love I poured into a boy (nb) who just wanted me to become someone else#I bought him a whole ass hoodie of his special interest! I took care of his cats!!#.... I bought the dteam plushies and never got to show them to my other (non-mcyt-fan) friend because I was so worried about upsetting him#guys no relationship who makes you feel like you're playing mind games is worth it#do you think about what earing to use because you're afraid of what that persom will say? you gotta change smt#i dont think they even realized Im avoiding them now
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#tko_art#you are the most talented#most interesting#and most extraordinary person in the universe#And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the special.#What's it like to hold the hand of someone you love?#do you long for having your heart interlinked?#do you feel that there's a part of you that's missing?#what will you have after 500 years?#oh i forgot the airbrush for the depth#i thought this was pretty good but i just remembered the top lid doesn't really ahve shape#whatever#tried doing the shadow on the corner of it's eye too#that didn't work out lol#i'm starting to slowly think that putting the time and effort into being my friend is not worth it#asked my therapist how to start believing words and she completely misunderstood it#because at the end of the day yeah words are just words and no matter how much u try to tell me I won't believe you#and i get it i get it i get it i just can't apply it#anyway might fuck around and rewatch one piece and catch up#it's eating me up inside#you dont get it#what's not to love#argue with the wall#ok well the fanservice sucks ass#makes me want to kill myself
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guys inanimate insanity is updating again and i kinda dgaf because the hyperfixation died years ago but i just got spoiled (??? i think) for something and ngl its making me kinda intruiged.........these days ive moved on to other things and grown up (which is ironic considering i got into II when i was a little bit over the target age in the first place) but like. should i finish it just to finish it since season 2 is finally wrapping up or nah since idk if i feel like going back to it rn
#meow meows#idk because on one hand i AM curious#but on the other hand. watching things takes energy that i could b using 4 more current interests or things my friends have reccomended#im also teeter tottering on if i'm gonna get sucked back into the osc or not#because on one hand. that took up a huge part of my life and going back to it might reawaken the obsession#but on the other hand i fell off keeping up with ii and bfdi because i naturally lost interest#and then it became too much to catch up with at once for smth i barely cared about anymore#like lightbulb and paintbrush are both gone whats even the point /j#but you see the dilemma; i'm on the fence about a lot#but also like. what do you mean theyre doing a movie. what does that Mean in terms of indie animation#most of all im just nervous about getting invested again tbh#i have other stuff i want to focus on more so like. idk maybe i'll wait until my current special interests subside a little#so theres room for new stuff again. or new old stuff?#idk my nostalgia goggles arent really on for object show stuff yet so maybe i'll finish the series whenever that kicks in#i got into the osc around like 2016 sooooo maybe i'll feel like reminiscing in 2026? to mark an even ten years
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Warning, Certified Internet Boomer Moment Imminent!
anyway bruh y'all have no idea how bad the baby fever is kicking my ass rn....
#me @ myself like BITCH NOT YET#IT'LL HAPPEN WHEN IT HAPPENS SO JUST STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME#AHHHHHHHHHHH#anyway I am legit envious of people who don't want kids bcs I assume their brains don't do this to them#and it's always so much worse around the holidays bcs christmas kinda blows when you're an adult#and I'm so excited to get to go all in making halloween and christmas special for a kid#I just have so much love inside of me and I want to share it#christmas was always hit or miss growing up bcs we were really poor#so we got charity gifts a lot#and when you're a teenage girl those gifts SUCK ASS#but I had to sit there and be happy with all the spa kits and make up and shit even though I DID NOT WANT THOSE#while my siblings got really cool shit like video games and art supplies and stuff#and I am so ready to make sure my kid never ever has to go through that#fuck gender I will pay attention to their interests and make sure they get things they love!!!
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my søn you have new name and url... awesome stuff i am a proud dad :)
Thank uuuuu it’s character development time idk if it’s for the better or worse but I’m chillin. Gonna buy some dried mango tomorrow and be happy not that it’s relevant but I need to tell someone how pumped I am to get my dried mango. The local refill shop changed their supplier and now it has good texture so I can rest happily.
#Why did u twenty one pilotsify son… likely means nothing but alas I’m like ouououghhfhhf what’s happening here lol#The url is named after my new favourite little small joy btw. I wanted to start getting that instant microwave Quaker’s porridge again#Because the golden syrup one is very childhood to me but the sachets aren’t recyclable so I was like suck my balls quaker you’re owned by#Unilever or Coca Cola or some comically evil conglomerate anyways so I was really sad until I noticed that the Sainsbury’s ones are all jus#In paper so there’s no problemo recycle it easy and there’s a cinnamon one!!!! One of the flavours of all time!!! So now I have cinnamon#Porridge and a banana with a glass of water for my breakfast and it makes me happy#I need a slow morning where I take time for myself and my breakfast helps with that#The other part of that is my shower which… oh boy buddy (lush special interest. I am insane. If I start talking I will not stop)
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autistics when the niche special interest is no longer niche and is becoming mainstream
#this is about the fallout show#i know i mostly talk about homestuck here but oh my goddddd#feel like im the odd one out for not enjoying the show and it sucks#i really wanted to like it!! and i tried. but i didnt#it feels weird to have a special interest for years and then watch it rapidly become popular and ppl not know the base games#idk how to feel about it dont get me wrong im glad ppl are getting into it but i cant help the autism territorialness#itll be nice to talk about it with other ppl i suppose and have it seen as less weird#ON AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH TOO /LH /J#fallout#fallout show#autism
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trick to fun dialogue is just to make it a little hard to understand. maybe thats a cheap trick but i dont care
#or not even that hard necessarily just like it takes like 2 listens. it takes attention#and what 'harder' is is subjective depends on the type of dialogue you hear a lot and your vocabulary level#watching the nevers right#and im watching this scene and theres this character who exactly hits this spot for me#like 5........wait 5 years ago is not as far as i think it is.........7 years ago (ugh) i woudlnt have understood what she was saying#like i'd know all the words separately but iwouldnt have understood what she was saying at all#but rn im like oooh this is the exact balance between obscuring your meaning and substance#i think oftne in my writing i obscure more than there is substance#there usually /is/. /some/ substance#theres usually substance. just theres more complication than there is substance. here the balance is better#bc someone needs to say these words hfkghgj#the other day while reading scripts im making myself rewrite i was like 'i coudltn do this in a fic. iwouldnt get away with this'#lines that work in a script (bc they'll be acted) fall flat in fic bc we dont have the luxury (or limitation) of actors#but it really made me think abt like..what you need to do in a script for television vs in a fic based on that television you knwo what i#mean? different things you need to work for. WE need to work for that the characters sound like Them. that we can Hear them#tv gets that almost free. the words will be in the right voice in the right body that gets you like 60-70% of the way#less sometimes depending on the specificity of the character&circumstances i was mostly thinking abt the doctor who maybe has more leeway#and tv has the limitations of 1) needs to be sayable. but also 2) needs to be flatter i think#you cant put 5 meanings in every line bc theres plot that needs to keep going and sentences need to stay short#so you get a lot of character work for free i think but in return you need to rein yourself in in that way#anyway idk these observations were just based on like me rewriting the 14 specials and going 'this line fucking sucks in fic' fhgkjhgkjgh#not that it was a bad line! just. boring .meaningless. doesnt add. filler noise. i dont have TIME for that in fic. i lose people#idc if i lose readers i dont know abt that but i lose myself honestly very short attention span keep every word interesting#scripts are fluffy and repetitious. repetitive. but repetitious sounds funner#anyway its fun trying to match that tv need with my own lines that i add in#not too obscure. needs to be sayable. but with my own 'half the spices cabinet in my single cup of hot choccy' approach to writing#(and hot choccy)
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