#but also encountering and absorbing for the first time feelings and thoughts from those it consumed

[patrice-bergerons]

You can tell I miss my cat because I daydreamed an entire backstory for Ianto's alien cat in this fic i am writing, and none of it is even relevant for the plot 😭

[mikokiara]

Taco and Nihilego fusion AU

(contains spoilers from pokemon sun and moon so beware!)

okay so like. I came out with the craziest idea ever, so while I was talking in the tacomic server at some point I said about how could it would be if taco got fused with nihilego just like lusamine in the original pokemon sun and moon releases and before I knew it I had been dropped into an spiral of how messed up taco would be post-fusion. Lusamine, the main villain of original pokemon sun and moon has been obsessed with ultra-beast speficially nihilego. I haven't played the games, the only thing I know of them is the ending and lusamine's character as a whole. Ultra beast are- quoting from pokemon wiki as a:

''group of extradimensional Pokémon who have gone through Ultra Space. Most of them were introduced in Pokémon Sun and Moon, though some were introduced in Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon.

Ultra Beasts infrequently appear from Ultra Wormholes in Alola. These appearances are apparently as unexpected for the Ultra Beasts as it is for Alolans, which tends to make them combative''

Nihilego is one of these ultra-beast. And can be considered as an outright parasite.

nihilago has also been proven to be able to fuse with its host just like it was shown in the sun and moon games and anime adaptation with lusamine:

my proposition is that taco- against her own will fuses with nihilago after she pushes mic away to prevent her from being the one absorbed by it. Now taco is protective of those she cares about. So her pushing mic out of the way to save her from becoming nihilego's next host is not something too far-fetched. By consequence however she is the one that becomes nihilego's host. Which leads the rest of the cast to travel to the Ultra Deep Sea (nihilego's dimension) to attempt to save her. However, when they arrive the first thing they see is nihilego and taco's fusion- or how I lovingly call her nihitaco. I don't know how the fuck they would save her but like point is that they do. And now taco has to deal with the psychological and physical consequences that come from fusing with an ultra-dimensional parasite.

More discord stuff:

like read above. Nihilego's toxins can take a toll on not only the host's mental health but also their physical health. I think due to taco not being exposed to its toxins for a way too extended period of time like lusamine in the original sun and moon game (allegedly) has- she is able to recover more easily. That doesn't mean however that recovering from such traumatic event will be easy on itself. Both taco's physical and mental health have found themselves affected after her encounter with nihilego leading to test tube having to do regular check ups due to the effects nihilego's neurotoxins would have in not only her physical form but mental health overall.

In general just fusing with an ultra-beast that is quite literally a parasite would just take such a toll on her I feel it would led her to develop ptsd from the encounter. some of ptsd symptons can be:

Being easily startled.

Feeling tense, on guard, or on edge.

Having difficulty concentrating.

Having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.

Feeling irritable and having angry or aggressive outbursts.

Engaging in risky, reckless, or destructive behavior.

vivid flashbacks (feeling like the trauma is happening right now)

intrusive thoughts or images.

nightmares.

intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma.

physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling.

BONUS MY NIHITACO DRAWING:

anyways thank you for reading my insane ramblings bye bye!

[korolife]

Blog No.004📚　24年6月13日

My Visual Method of Learning Japanese Kanji (漢字) part①

～ Let's Pair-up Similar-lookin' Characters Next to Each Other♥!～

There are many ways to learn Japanese. 📔

This way might not be effective or efficient (or even reasonable) for anyone else, but this is the visual approach that I'm currently developing + sharing for possibly any like-minded students it might resonate with!

【Background】

At first, I did the standard "write it down with repetition until you get it right" on flashcards, notebooks, etc. I don't think I ever got it 'right'ーevery optimistic attempt of "I'm gonna get in some daily lessons in today, and successfully absorb this knowledge!!" was always accompanied with this state of... confusion? and being so, so overwhelmed that neither the meaning, the reading, the stroke order, nor even the appearance of the kanji stuck to me at all. I don't think I've ever made it past the list of N4 kanji, even though most words I come across tend to be scattered around the N3-N1 level.

I've tried studying them strictly in order of the listing / then tried loosely with some doodling / or even a cherry-nitpicky minimalistic approach; just-take-what-is-frequently-used-style... but there just seemed to be no end in sight。

『Issue①:』 I wanted to see ALL of the kanji displayed at once, instead of dreading the 'higher levels' hidden from the limited amount displayed at a time; be it from reference books, screen displays on websites or mobile applications, etc. It's definitely just a personal issue, I think haha I just didn't like the surprise sneak attack from so much identical kanji from differing levels that scrambles my brain everytime I encounter a doppelganger. And boy, there's a LOT of those (as you will see).

I thought about making a series of biiiig posters or scrolls I could stick up on a wall, like those kiddie info posters but completely filled with kanji as decoration + motivation + and a bit of a cheat sheet I could easily access at a glance. But just imagining over 2,000 jumbled characters looming over me while I work on my desk or seeing something like that first thing after waking up………it feels a lot unsettling, I think-

『Issue②:』 They're often arranged according to their frequency of usage, stroke order, or general difficulty of the word. Although it's for practicality, it leaves the visual impact completely all over the place. I don't know if I have any underlying conditions that contribute to something trivial like this greatly bothering me past the point of productivity, but it's not even about aesthetics I have an issue with, I don't think? It's just...the arrangement feels so chaotic, or sometimes oddly restrictive that I keep getting distracted. It's like some kind of puzzle I've been trying to solve for 10 hours straight, but it's just me going in circles back to zero. Speaking of puzzles....

Maybe, to save physical space for literally thousands of characters, I thought about placing one kanji on each of a rubik's cube's faces. But that would take a ridiculous amount of cubes and printer ink/alternatively, manually cutting, pasting, and poorly writing very very tiny 0.5inch labels for...two thousand times, at least. By hand.

I'm still tempted to incorporate this idea in some way, but felt unmotivated and lazy with how flimsy and shoddy my handwritten labels were…also printer ink prices continue to be a goddang scam--

I've unfortunately never been a studious student, especially not when it comes to conventional learning methods. It tends to make me want to try ridiculous ideas to get around my own dysfunctionality, because the other option would be... to continue a system that doesn't work and be frustrated, and accomplish nothing; not even a smile.

Because I was learning Japanese out of my own free will, I wanted to have fun with it, because the whole concept of kanji seems really fun in theory!… but not so much in attempted practice as a clueless outsider with no knowledge apart from the standard English reading and writing system.

Even if perceived as a complete waste of time by a lot of people, I still want to understand each individual character to be able to appreciate and greet them accordingly when I encounter them in the wild.

For fun☆!

【Conventional Systems】

I mostly took inspiration from other existing popular learning systems that many people use:

➊The standard N5-N1 System was alright, but I found myself tempted to skip straight to ～N3 where frequently used characters appeared more, despite being barely at the lowest N5 level myself. I wanted all the characters to be visibly accessible…but it got intensely overwhelming so fast. The hierarchal labeling made finding a N1 character have this weird sense of pressure? Like, "oh sht , this word has N1 kanji. mY ELEMENTARY GRADE DUMBASS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE--"

➋Then there's pictographs. It's interesting, but I thought a lot of them were a little bit of a reach? haha it's basically a visual mnemonic, right? But other people's mnemonics usually have their 'creative logic' that my own may not agree with, so I just end up getting distracted with the internal logic of the image and how it correlates to the kanji instead of absorbing any actual information. I think it has potential, but I'd need to personalize the visual imagery for it to be effective…or at least, have the mnemonic make enough sense to me and not be abstractly distracting. Even by then, the more strokes there are, the more convoluted it looks to even liken it to anything in the real world...Kanji by itself is already a pictogram, I guess...?

➌Then there's the Heisig method. I liked the concept; the goal is for (mostly) foreigners to easily familiarize the 'look' of the kanji character and attach it to a singular meaning. But personally, it wasn't working with how much my brain was confusing every variation of similar-looking patterns that kept reappearing over a span of different kanji, with the same radical appearing in different positions or orientations. Heisig's compilation was good in a sense that I could see a reoccurring pattern and it was most definitely less chaotic to look at now, but they continue to persist so far away from each other? Then adding that element of "the unknown" with kanji I've yet to encounter or seek out for being 'too advanced' with this doppelganger dilemma was driving me absolutely coconuts.

Plus, since it's a method created with absolute beginners in mind, it falls short with the lack of kun- and on- yomi readings…which were what I needed to learn the most.

I decided to combine these three ideas to make my own way.

【??? Personal System】

This system will continuously be developed from here on out until it can actually be functional, but so far, here's what's been done and being planned:

Apparently these were from 8 months ago good lord-

I pretty much just lined up screenshots of a full kanji listing (I believe it was a Jouyou listing) and just...painstakingly played a Match-3 game, but irl, pretty much... and with more back pain

※Reference used to curate these kanji and their information are primarily from ①an app called 'Satori', and ②another app called 'Yomiwa'. Both apps source information from KANJIDIC and JMDict + mixed with a variety of online dictionaries to cross-reference and check for additional info.

I was working on and off on it because staring at nothing but kanji all day will probably make a few screws loose, but I generally continued anytime I was feeling a little down, stressed out, or just had free time. It was oddly therapeutic when I saw the finished arrangements, though. This feeling of "I can't tell if I like it or hate it" reminded me of my thesis days lmao

I had originally planned to put them on 3x3 rubik's cubes, so I initially had to group them by a full set of 9 characters. But the distribution was so unbalanced that each look-alike group was either lacking or exceeding in numbers, and trying to evenly incorporate 'leftovers' into the other groups just looked forced as hell, visually. So, I gave up on the rubik's cube concept and just tried to match at least a row of just 3 look-alikes to then ascend or descend in complexity with their other cousin-distant-lookalikes.

EXAMPLE:

人　大　木

person・big・tree

▲These three I would consider 'cousins'. I wouldn't classify them together in a row of 3 because there are far more identical characters, but after I gather all of each of their sibling groups, I'd most definitely arrange them next to each other in succession as if the 人 was growing more limbs.

太　大　犬

fat・big・dog

▲These three I would consider 'siblings'.

It reminds me of twins that only have differing beauty marks for distinction.

▲And these...are kinda cursed ngl, my double takes had to do their own double takes everytime I would finish grouping something to the 'tree radical' family, and suddenly spotting another one I could've sworn was the exact same character. It made me feel like I was going insane lol I know that the context showing the connecting hiragana is usually a dead giveaway on which kanji it is, regardless of how similar in appearance + how it's going to be read... but man. It's so surreal seeing them all lined up next to each other?? All I see is a forest-

Somewhere along the way, my brain remembered about the elemental periodic table and drew some layouting inspiration from there, too. Ideally, I would love to have all the information already present at a single glance with each character. But with the limited display space, assigning chronological identification numbers on them for now would help in navigating this wide, colorful kanji blanket.

I might've discarded a couple of archaic / overly complex kanji that no one really uses for this list at this moment, but in total, there appears to be 952 rows of trios.

= A total of 2,856 kanji have been included. Unless I miscounted somewhere-

my back hurts-

【Personal Limits + Goals】

I've been learning Japanese the same way I have Englishーvery, very informally; simply picking up what I hear and read in random places and applying them to how my brain interpreted their usage. It's literally like 'playing by ear', musically? except I'm tone deaf as hell-

There are some words (both Eng and Jp) that I surprise even myself when I know how to say it, or suddenly somehow using it during very specific situations, even if I don't know how to define their exact meaning…or even how to pronounce them correctly. Then there's very basic words that are so foreign to me because I have never heard or seen them before, despite possibly being one of the first things teachers introduce in proper lessons.

I can understand verbal Japanese just OK (some common dialects are recognizable too, just as long as it ain't extreme keigo-), my attempt at constructed sentences is weab-level at best and my butchering of the intonations is an atrocity, but most importantly, I can't read most kanji I come across for the life of me without furigana. Even with it, it's usually too dang small in print to even read…

Basically the nutshell of my 'Japanese Reading Practice with Manga' series orz I was so worried about potential copyright infringements, but I misread everything, it just became transformative on its own--

※ADDITIONAL NOTE: There is the onyomi (Orig. Chinese reading used when compounding the character with another to create a word) and the kunyomi (general Japanese reading of the kanji) that I ranked as the 'most important' thing to learn for me...then there's their long-lost wayward sibling: Nanori for Japanese name readings.

It is a ｗｈｏｌｅ new world out there......and I'm good staying indoors, thanks- don't even get me started on kirakira name readings I will cry for those poor unfortunate souls deadass named things like 'PEGASUS' or 'ANGEL LOVE' as their government name good lord

Speaking of names, when I saw Kaedehara Kazuha's name (Genshin Impact) in kanji for the first time :

「楓原万葉」

I read it as "Kazewara Manba"💀he is Manba-kun to me now

ーEven if my overall proficiency is at kindergarten level, for now,

I want to improve at at least recognizing the correct kanji at a regular reading speedーwith no mistaken identities, frantic dictionary pulling-out, or furigana dependency necessary!★

And that's what I want to achieve first and foremost with...whatever this is I'm creating。

+ so I can read manga and novels in peace without constantly squinting at a magnifying glass orz Fluency is kinda moot in my case because... I don't talk to anyone lol-

also, online shtposting in the Jp meme side rly do hit different

　〘ーand I'd like colors to accompany me!〙

『Issue③:』 Every Kanji list overview, regardless of arrangement or method, always gives me anxiety with how sharply white and black it is. That minimalistic uniformity forces you to depend on shapes alone to make inferences... but then you see sht like:

土　VS　士　

(dirt)・(samurai)

末　VS　未

(tip)・(sign of the sheep)

where it's literally the subtlest of LINE LENGTH, a tiny splotch, or the more complex characters that don't even share the same radicals but because they both vaguely have a similar silhouette, they start looking confusing to the brain, I just...............colors are absolutely necessary!! At least, it is definitely the case for my very easily bamboozled noodle that demands distinctive visual variations. I am in the belief that shapes alone will not suffice to memorize the correct information when you have over 2,000 subjects to sift through that... literally copied each other's homework. They kept gaslighting me throughout the process- Ask a Chinese or Japanese friend today if they're doing ok bc holy sht how do ya'll live like this, especially when web browsers tend to squash anything exceeding 14 strokes at regular display font sizes I-

I made the ｺﾛﾚｯﾃKoroLife System (Kororette Life; a wish for a 'colorful life') that pushes more focus on the creative and productive use of colors and patterns for myself, initially for drawing composition purposes... but I found that it was something just as applicable with making everyday tasks way easier and fun to look at.

It eventually took over this project too, and finally gave me what I was looking forーinner peace with a lifetime of beef and animosity with kanji…but in style★

When I said I was a heavy visual learner... this is exactly what I meant-

So…this is my way of arranging nearly 3,000 kanji by rows of 3 visually identical characters that confuses my dyslexic 外人 dumdum the most + making use of colors for subcategorizing them according to their shapes. And, hey, they make for pretty neat stickers!

⇒[FREE TO DOWNLOAD!]

△contains x4 parts of higher quality of each quadrant (transparent bg) + this huge overview display map...or kanji blanket, however you see it as-

Unfortunately there's very little to make of it apart from a display, but as soon as I add some practicality to this system, I will compile them into the 0+ Resource Shop. For now, please feel free to personally use them however you like~! I'm already sticking 'em everywhere-

I divided them into 6 colored categories according to the character's overall perceived 'shape'*: ・Curves (orange)

・Sparks'n'mix (pink)

・Criss-crossing (dark blue)

・Lines (light blue)

・Cubes (yellow) ・囧ﾒ (violet)

・imperfect matches (green)

Highlighted ones are stand-outs, or visually the easiest to digest (to me anyway).

＊these are very arbitrary classifications with flawed, subjective internal logic that has been revised multiple times over. (eg. Even if something has a curve, if I feel like the overall shape has lines that stand out more, then it's in the light blue category instead.)

And with that, I think I'll call it...

The「色々色 / IROIROIRO」 Method!! otherwise known as the 色³ for short!!!

■ 「色」・いろ・(Iro)

➊lit. Color, tint, hue, shade ➋kind, type, variant

■ 「々」・のま・同の字点 / どうのじてん・(noma / dou no jiten)

Kanji repetition mark; placed beside a repeating kanji.

■ 「色色 / 色々」 ・いろ・(Iroiro)

various, all sorts of

■「³」・３乗足す / さん��ょうたす・３の立方 / さんのりっほう・(san jyou tasu / san no rihhou)

mathematical term.; Cubed, to the power of 3 pls don't ask me for the actual application specifics, I get a 3/10 average on my math tests-

It's a fun pun! Kinda.

【Preliminary Conclusion】

Is it an effective strategy to master Japanese kanji at all, though? Maybe not. At least, probably not just by this visual display alone. I honestly don't expect anyone else benefitting much from this project, but it personally really reinvigorated me to continue studying Japanese again. It's strange how something that caused me so much feelings of dread and anxiety for the majority of my early teen years, suddenly feels so much fun to work with. All it needed was sleep deprivation, some touch of personalization, and a little bit of color!… ok, well, a lot of color-

It's a complete homebrew, unverified by anyone, and I guess a little insane, but I thought it turned out kinda cool anyway, so I thought I'd share it! What do you think? I'll write up an update about any further developments in this silly lil system the next time. I'm thinking of somehow fitting in all the definitions, readings, stroke orders, and maybe samples of their usage... but also in style★ somehow-

We'll workshop it, even if it takes another additional 8 months!!!

Until then! バイバイ(￣▽￣)／

つづく

➡To be continued...

・・・ホームページALL LINKS・・・

・Art Gallery・Commission Info・Ko-fi shop・

[natsumesakasaki666]

Prologue

< During the first year of ES’s establishment; Mid February; On the day of the Chocofes>

<somewhere in Cyber Space’s “Candy house”>

Sora: HaHa~♪ Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hello everyone! Sora is doing great as ever! Are you all doing well too?

???: Yes. Hello Sora-kun!

Sora: Senpai!

HiHi~♪ As usual, “this” Senpai here is so fluffy and adorable~!

???: Is that so? I think its more of a spiteful intended design though…

Why is there such a large emphasis on the fuzzy mop-like characteristics?! And why is name field locked, for some reason I can’t change it from “Mojacko”?!

Honestly speaking, this is more like a monster. If you were to encounter something like this in real life, wouldn’t it be normal to find it so scary and disgusting that you’d have nightmares about it?

Sora: Not at all! Senpai looks cute! Have some confidence!

Mojacko (Tsumugi): Is it cute? Well… it’s whatever I guess~ I don’t care how I look

Sora: But didn’t Shisho~ say that Senpai is always looking so unkempt, so Senpai should pay more attention to his appearance?

Mojacko (tsumugi): Aha, I see now! Natsume-kun is forcing me to look like this in order to make my not so fashionable self become aware of such things!

In other words, it’s one of Natsume-kun’s ways of expressing his love towards me!

Sora: That’s right! Shisho~ loves Senpai!

Mojacko (Tsumugi): When you put it that way, I can’t help but start to feel attached to this monster-like appearance.

Im feeling so happy right now, I’ll send him a message! “Thank you for being so considerate! I love you too,Natsume-kun!”

And sent!

Natsume: *ding* —huh I just received some creepy spam maiL, should I go ahead and report it to the poliCE?

Mojacko (Tsumugi): Spam mail? That sounds like trouble, Natsume-kun! It’s alright to rely on the police but shouldn’t you consult with us first?

We’ll always be here for you Natsume-kun!

Natsume: Don’t you understand sarcasM…? WhAT-, who’s this monsTER? Can you please stay awAY?

Tsumugi: Eh!? Natsume-kun weren’t you the one who forced me to look this way!?

Sora: HuHu~♪ Speaking of Shisho~, look who it is! Happy Valentine’s Day to you too Shisho~!☆

Natsume: mhm, Happy Valentine’s DAY, Sora♪

….You seem strangely exciteD. Considering what you’re planning on doing sOON, isnt it a bit unnatural for you to be this hapPY?

Do you think of all of this as just a game because it’s happening here in CyberspaCE? You’re worrying mE…

Mojacko (Tsumugi): I think getting too absorbed into the internet and video games isn’t something we should we praising Sora-kun for.

It’s unhealthy and we need to pay attention to what’s happening in reality too.

Natsume: that’s rich coming from someone who’s the definition of unhealTHY…… The ability to concentrate on events happening digitally is one of Sora’s strengths so let’s keep things on a positive outlOOK.

I doubt this “anomaly” could’ve been solved if it weren’t for Sora’s peculiariTY.

Sora: HeHe~♪ So Sora being a “strange kid” can be helpful sometimes?

Natsume: Yup. There's no need to feel guilty or ashamed of being different from othERS, Sora.

You certainly have better vision than us ordinary peOPLE. Your eyes can read the reflection of things that aren’t supposed to be visible in this wORLD.

HoweVER, even dreams can be seen as“reality” to those whose brain can perceive it as sO. So likewISE, it’s a “reality” that shouldn’t be denied as wELL.

What has occurred this time is so incomprehensible and mysterious that someone using common sense would laugh it off sayING “probably someone mistook it as something they saw while half aslEEP”.

Sora, we believe in yOU. We believe in you and will support yOU.

However, loving someone doesn’t mean justifying everything they dO. Im saying this because we love yOU.

When I look at you with my unblinded eyES, I realize you really do have the best smILE.

Sora: Yes! Sora also wants to keep smiling. That’s why—

Mojacko (Tsumugi): I’ve thought this before too but somehow Sora-kun always immediately understands your strange conceptual statements, Natsume-kun.

Natsume: You’re thinking of this the wrong wAY. I choose to convey my words in a way that’s easiest for Sora to compreHEND.

Although you act like an experienced big brothER, you’re still trash at magIC. Isn’t that riGHT, Senpai?

You should follow Sora’s example and be more diliGENT.

Sora: That’s right. And Sora will give it his all and work hard too!

Sora will do his best and at least with a smile—

Sora: —he’ll put an end to this world.

All Chapters | Next

[nshtn]

3, 11, 25 && 38 blz :3

3) 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life without getting bored of?

Repo! The Genetic Opera (@g-mutant showed me that one!)

This one is just... it's so multilayered when you examine various song's lyrics. I keep finding more layers. Onion of a movie that chewed on every dollar in its' budget appropriately and deserved ten times it. REvil fans are likely to enjoy it on broached themes alone and the entire style is real cybergothy... plus... Nathan. I could watch Repo! for more Nathan... I have a crush on the Night Surgeon.

Black Mirror: Hated in the Nation

This 'movie' is one of my favorites to show to people I don't know to gauge their opinions on a lot of vaguely political things; the second is how people respond to the movie Fight Club. It's a movie that unsubtly reminds you about the horrors that are encountered when the government has janitorial keys to every software stack and library you use - and what happens when those keys are discovered, a la Eternal Blue.

Madoka Magica: Rebellion

It requires a full watch of the original anime to understand what's going on, and intentionally deceives the viewer with very subtle hints that something is wrong and it's not just an alternate timeline; the visuals are grungy and psychotic and speak of a deep psychology, every hallucinatory element a carefully presented memory made tangible in a hellscape (a nightmarescape?). This is to the point of it having its' own written conlang.

11) What do you consider to be romance?

I have to preface this with the fact that I'm leaving out what is so clearly obviously romantic to me because it's unhealthy. It comes from things I've experienced in my life that my brain is romanticizing to deal with the magnitude of. Beneath this crust, though...

...there's a lot of romance in subtle touches, quietly existing with another person, late nights spent basking in eachother's interests and absorbing eachother's knowledge like a sponge.

I think sharing things you enjoyed reading or documentaries is really romantic. Like sitting and watching a documentary and commenting on it together, picking it apart. Or sending eachother Arxiv/Researchgate/Scihub stuff. I have done both with people and it always felt like they were making a Maximum Friendship Boost move.

There's nothing I love more than to make an unsubtle callback to something someone's told me a long time ago to show them I'm listening to what they tell me and retaining that info. It's love when this is not something you do manually; it's love when you absorb someone's interests and adopt them yourself with the most potent plucked string being the fact that they enjoyed it first.

Sidenote: there is a certain implicit trust in sharing exploits with someone if those exploits are undeclared or rarely spoken of; there is also an implicit trust in sharing source code to things you've programmed with your comments slathered over them like footnotes in a novel. The deeply personal, unfiltered thoughts are always a treat to dissect.

25) Favorite season and why?

Fall. Halloween. I LOVE TO DRESS UP AS MY GUYS FOR WHOM I AM DEEPLY UNWELL. Next year is gonna be Karl Heisenberg or Edward Nashton, I feel it.

...or maybe Birkin. He is the only one whose bodytype I actually fit like a glove; he's got the same attack chihuahua vibes.

...your old Wesker fit is still one of the highlights of what I saw that Halloween on my dash!!!

28) Do you collect anything?^2

A secondary answer: I love to host things. I have hosted Minecraft servers, SillyTavern web servers, a smattering of many web UIs, entire MMO landwalker asset servers...

I also love to collect different crash dumps from computers I've successfully diagnosed - the second I open a .dmp file, all of what I know about that computer and where in that .dmp I solidified my knowledge of its' issue springs back to me and makes me feel proud.

Thanks for asking! :D

[spotaus]

Thinking Thoughts about Tulpa so I'm gonna write them and see if the Art Ghost comes back later to help fill in the gaps.

So, "Tulpa" is a nickname that's actually given to the pair indirectly by Nightmare.

In this AU he and Dream don't reconsile anytime soon, but he's one of the first to notice how weak his twins magic is. Dust landed a solid hit, so of *course* Dream is weak, but it's for a weirdly extended amount of time. He doesn't worry too much, he kinda hopes Dream is off somewhere is immense pain, but he definitely knows something is up.

When he finally encounters Dream again in battle, he notices how his brother's movements are choppy. Less fluid, as though he's expecting more reach from his arms or more length in his legs. As though he jumps too far abd is too light to balance. It reminds him of when he was first corrupted, when he couldn't move with his long and extra limbs. And Dream feels... muffled. Like his soul is being covered by something, a cloak of some kind. His aura is dampened too. Night isn't quite sure what it is, it's his brother's eyes and wayward convictions, but he can't share the feeling.

Then there's the day Dream's body seems to move on its own to avoid an ambush he certainly didn't see. The way Night recognizes, then, the glint in his dark socket. Dream had a tag-along. And while he wasn't sure who or what it was yet, he knew that his brother was different now. He told his boys that Dream was a 'Tulpa', something made up of the desires or those around him.

Nightmare knew his twin should still be unmoving. Maybe not dead, but his soul wasn't strong enough to support his body with that lasting injury Dust had caused. Dream would never give up the fight as long as there were people who wanted him to fight. Now he was giving up everything, even when he'd lost control of his body, to fight a useless war.

The gang started calling Dream 'Tulpa' when they saw him, which in turn led to Dream letting Fresh reveal himself sooner rather than later. Dream didn't hate the nickname though, so he asked others to adopt it later on.

Dream and Fresh aren't a fusion, but they are Soul-Bound now.

It was immediately after Fresh took his first bite of Dream's soul that it happened.

The Golden Apple which acts as Dream's soul has been storing his love and compassion and hope for YEARS now. Ever since he absorbed it. Just like every monster, it's the core of his being. Yet it's more. It's also the thing that compels him to uphold the balance, to fight Nightmare, to try and make everyone happy. He desires a peaceful world, so he does what he can to achieve that thanks to the apple's influence.

Fresh? He wants to feel full. Upon eating the apple, he is fundamentally altered. Not only can he survive like Dream does (absorbing positivity) but he also is Addicted to the aura of the apple. Dream has no part in this, it's just the nature of the Apples.

From the moment he took a bite, Fresh actively became... like... idk an Avatar (think The Magnus Archives) of that damn apple. Just-so-happens it's also bound to Dream, who has a vessel that just... Doesn't Decay.

Thanks to the apple, sometimes Dream abd Fresh act more like one person, each comfortably settled in the vessel at once. Sometimes they'll answer for themselves amd eachother. It's hard to unentagle them once Fresh finds it in him to be more devoted to Dream. So, they take on the name Tulpa to help save people some embarrassment.

Fresh can still leave Dream and inhabit other bodies.

Like I said, Fresh is Addicted to the apple, and Dream is the perfect body to linger in. But, sometimes two heads is better than one, or they have different plans that overlap. It's uncomfortable, like missing a piece of jewelry you always wear or forgetting your phone at home, so they don't do it often.

The good news is, Fresh is now much less likely to kill his hosts. He thrives on positivity now like Dream, and negativity (like from getting taken over by a parasite) actually feels like something to him now. So, he usually finds a willing host he can borrow the body of for an hour or two (his go-to is actually usually Blue (He cares a lot about Dream and trusts Fresh won't hurt him) or Ccino (too nice to really tell him no? Usually just a taste of Uncomfy rather than Terror).)

Once, Blue let Fresh take his body for the sake of hanging out with Dream in the omega timeline. They danced and had food and explored as much as they dared. They were able to hold hands and nuzzle skulls and kiss and hug and it was nice. Fresh likes to be able to give Dream a break sometimes, but he also loves to be able to smother him with affectionate actions from the outside and really get a good look at Dream's face.

Dream likes being able to hold Fresh's hands and see him in his full outfit without it being super baggy on himself. Dream *also* thinks it's a little weird when he kisses Fresh, knowing the body isn't technically his, but Blue (the wingman of all time) has given permission, and Dream doesn't do it often anyways.

And once or twice Fresh had appeared at a location after Dream arrives and scared the living heck out of folks just for fun.

DreamEater AU was a name I came up with after about 5 seconds of thought, but it IS symbolic.

So, it's kinda on the nose. Dream's soul is getting "eaten" by Fresh. That was the first reason I called it that, but the follow-up reasoning is just that... my headcanon for Dream is that he's constantly being eaten up by guilt, and stress, and the weight of expectations all baring down on him.

Dream, at this point in the au, never has a moment of positivity for himself. Always playing peace-keeper for everyone but himself, and he's hit his fuse. When Dust injures Dream, Dream is paralyzed from his neck down, some sort of magic flow imbalance. He literally cannot pick himself up and force himself to keep going.

That is, of course, until Fresh comes along and takes over Dream's vessel. Fresh literally eats him, yeah, but once they finally get to talking, Fresh eats away at Dream's persona. Fresh keeps Dream from overworking himself for people who don't need the help, he keeps Dream from being a push-over, and gives Dream a reason to be imperfect without shame. He literally eats away at the "Dream" people thought they knew and gives him a healthier and happier view on life.

And honestly, Fresh isn't even doing it out of kindness for Dream. His second nature is to call out bullshit when he sees it, and he just happens to see... a lot of it.

So, yeah, DreamEater AU is both silly and serious :) but wholly self-indulgent.

[jeongyunhoed]

As seen on my FF.net Also seen on my Ao3

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC/? Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: Some "trauma dumping" ahead between Norah and Garreth. Also some slight sexual tension too. I'm setting up what would be a very FWB relationship ahead. No smut though. Smut's gonna be in the sequel.

Masterlist

Chapter 16

The congratulatory comments Norah heard didn't seem to stop at Hogwarts. Everywhere she, Amit, Sebastian, and Natty went, she would be met with well-wishes from people whom she helped the year prior. At the back of her mind, Norah felt like this seemed to pose a distraction from the fact that Harlow was still on the loose and was rebuilding his business enterprise, perhaps finishing what Ranrok and Rookwood started but failed. As much as she wanted to revel in the good feeling of having achieved such an accolade, Norah felt like there was still more to be done. Even Madam Beaumont had previously warned her that she had done all that she could. And Merlin knows what Mrs. Daisy Rabe and Madam Bickle would tell her next about this.

Or worse, that damned Officer Ruth Singer. Norah didn't have fond memories of her encounters with the so-called law enforcer. If she and Natty had to take matters into their own hands to catch Harlow the first time, she was doubtful Officer Singer and the authorities would make more of an effort this time. The lack of effort only made Norah despise Officer Singer.

But, as Norah had observed, only months into the sixth year at Hogwarts, she was also undergoing the very familiar, but also quite bittersweet, feeling of her friend circle going through some changes. Because Andrew and Poppy had now become an item, she hardly hung out with them as she was now absorbed into Andrew's circle of friends. Natty seemed like she was on the verge of it as well, given the possible nature of her relationship with Henry, whatever it was that was going on between them. This reminded her that the wizarding world wasn't all that different from how muggles lived their lives. Including friends who ditched their friends to be with their romantic partners.

Nevertheless, Norah had come to terms with it, but it left her unsure of who to turn to now. They only had a year left until they were finished with Hogwarts, and what then? They would be on their own. Those thoughts had left her with the conclusion that she seemed better off hanging out with whoever wanted to hang out with her.

The price to pay for being a Slytherin, perhaps. Everyone would eventually not like her as much. It seemed like a lonely life was ahead, and being named the Hero of Hogwarts wasn't as all as it's cut out to be.

She dwelled on those thoughts while sitting at the bar of the Three Broomsticks one afternoon, with days left until the Hufflepuff common room party. More than a month left until the Yule Ball as well.

"Sickle for your thoughts?"

Norah snapped out of her continued dwelling when she saw Garreth appear, seating himself on the stool next to her while Sirona poured him a pint of butterbeer. "What?"

"You looked like you've got something on your mind," Garreth replied before taking a sip of his drink. "In fact, if I recall correctly, you've been like that for a while, is something wrong?"

Norah smiled and shook her head. "Don't worry about it. I can deal with it."

But the redhead didn't seem so convinced. "Even heroes need help, you know," He teased.

"Hero," Norah scoffed. "That's interesting. I don't feel like it, that's for sure."

Garreth's teasing expression faded at her words. "I'm sorry, that might've been inappropriate for me to say."

Norah waved a hand dismissively. "No, no, it's not your fault. I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling like myself today."

The Gryffindor looked down at his drink, then glanced at her. "Norah, I know our last conversation ended the way it did, but that doesn't change the fact that you've helped me, that you've been willing to help me, without even asking for anything in return."

"Then do me a favor and please don't ask," Norah quipped, glancing at him. "I know you're just trying to help, but I can assure you, I can handle it. Whatever it is."

Garreth didn't press any further, taking a long drink of his butterbeer as he glanced at her every now and then. "My oldest brother thinks the same way whenever we can tell he's having a hard time. Thinking he can deal with it on his own because it's what's expected of him. Whenever we ask if we could help, he brushes it off, telling us not to worry because he, as you said, could deal with it. He thinks we simply don't understand," He said quietly as he recalled those memories. "I'm really going to back off after this, but just know that it's good to let it out. Better out than in, is what my mum always says."

He finished his pint, asking Sirona for another one, in which she obliged, glancing at Norah with a hint of concern on her face from time to time. The two of them continued drinking in silence. Norah was stubborn that way. She didn't want to involve anyone out of knowledge that most of them couldn't even fathom what she had to face the year before. Even as they had repeatedly assured her that they would be fine.

As Amit once told her after they went through the goblin mine, that the whole escapade was enough of an adventure for a lifetime.

But if she wanted to change it, to change this thinking, she knew she had to make an effort, and it was going to be hard. She was, what the muggles would call, brooding, and she didn't like it.

"I don't know what to do," She suddenly said, after feeling some difficulty saying it. Garreth glanced at her, not saying anything but he remained still, ready to listen. "We're in sixth year, I don't know what to do after we leave Hogwarts, what profession to take up, and as much as I say I don't care if no one asks me to the Yule Ball, it still stings to know that it might be true. I have some unfinished business to take care of, NEWTs might become my cause of death, and I'm not sure if I still have my group of friends this year."

Garreth stared at his own drink while he listened. He wasn't sure if it was a good time to try and make her feel better, but his instincts told him not to say anything for now. Perhaps Norah was going to say more, and she did.

"Frankly, I was still embarrassed after the whole boggart thing. Carrow cursing me in the entrance hall was another thing to be embarrassed about," Norah somehow felt herself becoming more at ease. "Adele Kang told me I would've been confused for a Gryffindor because of how much I bled, apparently. But I ultimately felt ashamed, because people have this image of me in their heads, that I'm brave or something, that I couldn't get hurt, that what happened to me down at the caverns was nothing. I'm having a hard time trying to live up to that."

You don't have to, you never had to, Garreth thought. He wanted to say it, but he knew better than to do so for now.

"In reality, all those things that happened to me the year before? I was just as terrified, I feared for my life just as much as anyone. Imagine having to face several acromantulas in one year? Fighting troll after troll after troll? An entire cellar full of spiders big and small, multiple loyalist and Ashwinder encampments? Inferi?" Norah sighed. "The cave near the castle that's been infested with dugbogs, a dragon fighting ring. Sometimes I get the shivers just imagining those dead dugbogs still floating in the water."

Garreth also shuddered at the thought.

"But most of all? It's terrifying knowing that I actually fancy someone. But I know he doesn't plan on anything. He's too scarred by his own past to consider anything, not that I know he likes me back, but," Norah shrugged. "It's like everything and nothing all at once."

The description seemed familiar, and Garreth had an idea of who she was talking about. He's a complete idiot if he doesn't ask her to the ball, Garreth thought. But hearing her explain what was on her mind seemed to humble him a little bit and comfort him at the same time. The hero of Hogwarts, the youngest recipient of the Order of Merlin, First Class, admitting how even she had been struggling this entire time. Perhaps since the end of fifth year even.

Norah glanced at him, having been quiet this entire time. "I'm sorry for suddenly dumping this on you, I know it's a lot," She said, emptying her pint. "I told you I needed to deal with it on my own."

Garreth shook his head. "It's not a problem. In fact, I think it's a wonder that you managed to make it out of those in one piece, no injuries, nothing," He said. "...You still don't have a date to the Yule Ball, do you?"

She shook her head. "No, but I just think it's because I've scared anyone who would want to try, off," She muttered with a sigh. "Or maybe I'm just not anyone's type, which leaves me wondering what I should do to appear otherwise."

"You don't have to do anything," Sirona blurted out, refilling their pints. They can tell she had long wanted to say something. "You won't lose anything if no one asks you, but you should never feel like you're doing something wrong. In fact, I think it says more about those boys than it does about you if no one seeks you out for the Yule Ball."

Norah stared at the bubbles and the foam of her butterbeer. "It is pointless to try and make all that effort to get a boy to notice me," She nodded. "Besides, it's not the end of the world if no one asks me to the ball, compared to what Natty and Nellie are making it out to be."

The mention of Nellie made Garreth look up, then sigh. "Nellie really fancies Amit," He said. "You were right last time, maybe I really should move on."

Norah frowned. "It went downhill, huh?"

Garreth hummed. "She said she never really saw me as anything other than a friend, a schoolmate even. What's worse? I'm not even her type."

"I'm sorry, you must really like her," Norah said, moving her pint towards his in a toast. "The next round of butterbeer's my treat."

She laid down some more coins before Garreth could decline. "Thanks," He said, only to sit up when he remembered something. "My brew's ready now, by the way. It's in the Honeydukes cellar if you'd like to come try some," He suggested.

"We can finish this first," Norah joked as they downed what was left from their mugs.

~

A moment later and they found themselves in the sweet shop's cellar, looking at a barrel painted red with gold letters that said "Weasley's Fizz-beer." Garreth conjured some mugs to fill it in with the bubbly amber-colored liquid that smelled like the sweet treat itself. "Took a while to perfect, a year and a half, but I think I've nailed the recipe now. I would've preferred to make it look like the candy, but this is much better," He was pleased, taking another sniff of the beverage.

Norah brought the mug to her lips to take a sip. It tasted just like Fizzing Whizz-bees, only much stronger. It wasn't sickly sweet, but sweet enough to mask the alcohol content for a moment. It took her a moment to realize that she was already inches off the floor, as was Garreth, who looked even more overjoyed and nearly spilled his drink in the process.

Once their feet were firmly on the floor, Garreth put his mug down, arms suddenly outstretched and coming in for a hug. Norah, taken by surprise, wrapped an arm around him to return it, feeling a little calm now at the contact. He was warm, they both were, from the few butterbeers and then this. The brew aside, Norah could get a whiff of his cologne.

"I have to hand it to you, Garreth, you did well on this. You should bring this to the Hufflepuff party," She suggested as they pulled away, taking another sip and feeling herself float off the floor a few inches again. It was mostly to hide how she felt her cheeks heat up at how close they suddenly got. She reminded herself that it was because of the butterbeers and the brew.

Garreth grinned. "You think I should?" He said, making sure to reach out to her while she took another sip.

"Yeah, I mean, I didn't die or break out or anything, I think it's a success," Norah gave him a thumbs up as her feet were back on the ground.

She put the empty mug down, followed by a quick evanesco to clear them. "I'm quite brilliant, aren't I?" Garreth looked proud, as if his little revelation about his heartache earlier never happened.

Norah laughed as they went down the secret passage to leave. "Don't push your luck, you might not be to successful next time."

They passed through the familiar caverns, opting to swim rather than make the jump instead to get to the other side. Garreth took the lead, his cheeks suddenly getting ruddy when Norah emerged from the water, followed by a charm to dry their clothes. He was going to pretend he didn't accidentally glance at the way Norah's wet clothes clung to her.

"I'm forever glad you told me about this passage, Garreth. With people trying to look for me all of a sudden, even those I don't know, this is a nice way to go back to the castle," She said as they passed through the narrow lanes, some of which were covered in cobwebs.

Garreth turned to her, the thoughts of the two of them getting wet from the body of water they climbed out from and their little hug in Honeydukes cellar still on his mind. At this point, some parts of her dark brown hair were still wet at the ends, further reminding him of how she looked.

"Well, you were the new fifth year, I needed to tell you some of the ins and outs of the castle, even ones not many teachers know about, especially Professor Black," He tried to say as coolly as possible as they entered the lift that would bring them up to the entrance of the passage. "Besides, it looks like we ended up in Hogsmeade and back together after all," He said.

Norah smiled, the two of them getting off the elevator and climbing up the steps to the door that was behind the statue. She could feel herself getting rather light-headed, a little tipsy even, and she suddenly giggled, making Garreth turn to her, holding her by the arm in case she fell over.

"We might have had a bit to drink, huh? Or my brew was surprisingly strong," The redhead started laughing as well. "Ironically, I didn't even put alihotsy into this brew," He leaned toward her, the two of them leaning on each other for support. "Oh no, this isn't going to sit well with anyone."

"Your brew was stronger than you thought," Norah playfully slapped his arm, which slinked around her waist while they held each other up. "But I think we needed it, to clear our minds of whatever we're going through," she said, looking down at their feet.

As she looked up, she caught his gaze, their expression softening the closer they got to the entrance, the looming figure of the statue near. "I've got some hangover tonic in the common room," He said quietly. "You know, I'm curious as to what it would be like to kiss you."

Norah's cheeks turned pink at the remark. "Why don't you find out for yourself?" She challenged, another giggle escaping her.

The redhead hummed and groaned. "If I do anything, it will feel like I'm taking advantage of you again," He said, shaking his head.

Another giggle came from her. "I'm giving you an advantage. You get to kiss me, I finally know what it'll be like to be kissed by someone not related to me," she said. "This doesn't mean anything anyway, you were curious, I let you. And of all places, we're here, where hardly anyone can see us."

Garreth chuckled. "I don't know what it is about you Slytherins, especially you, Norah Lee. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you fancied me."

Norah scoffed. "I simply took the opportunity of wanting to know what it's like to be kissed. If you don't want to, it's okay. That just means you're a good person."

As if on reflex , Garreth wrapped his other arm around her waist. "You're making it hard for me to resist. Are you sure nothing will happen?"

"I should ask you the same thing," Norah patted his cheek, which he immediately leaned into. "You really made something strong with that brew, if the two of us are being like this..." She muttered, staring when Garreth pressed his forehead on hers. "How are you going to give me that hangover tonic when our common rooms are far away from each other?"

Garreth hummed. "You're right. Do you think we should sleep it off?" He said, giving her a little squeeze before letting go. "Maybe I could get Sallow to bring it to you."

"Sebastian?" Norah laughed. "I don't think anyone should know, at least for now."

"If you say so," Garreth sighed, trying to hold back his laughter as they stepped out.

[crzyimp]

Wander and Monkey: Dragon Boat Festival

Prompt: The duo at the dragon boat festival making Zongzi and Monkey(Wukong) missing his family

Warning: Angst, but with comfort

Author's Note: A day late, but this is for my friend @sparrow-in-boots request and birthday gift! Feel free to send an ask or prompt if you liked my story. Inbox is open!

How on earth in all their centuries of living did they end up here, here making sticky rice balls, what's the word again? Zongzi, that was the name, wrapped in bamboo leaves to eat later or to toss it into the river. Wander didn't want to linger in the village during what seems to be a festival just around the corner, honoring a beloved poet or worshiping gods and dragons alike; several scents overwhelmed their nose as children and women walked by with silk sachets or the wormwood and calamus. Something about the smell irritated them and the last time they asked someone, they got strange looks and the logic behind it all was to ward away evil spirits. Their eyes drift over to Monkey, too absorbed in noticing he's being watched.

Their once tattered clothes and furs were finally replaced after enough complaints from Monkey about ‘scaring the locals more than him’ or ‘You look more beastly than man’; now most of their wardrobe matched the locals, all but their furry cloak and their walking staff. Over the long journey since they left home, there are still some things they can't let go, at least a keepsake of their homeland; how they long to return, but know deep in their hearts they can't. Wander shift their thoughts at how they got into this mess, well the one Monkey dragged them in.

Monkey, the same stubborn fool, asked Wander to stay and observe the upcoming festival. When he heard a quick and harsh no, all hell broke loose; the tiny bastard kept pulling and yanking their hair back to the village, the colorful words he used (certainly picked that up from Wander), to biting and kicking, normally the harassment or abuse they can easily ignored or brush off, but it had more power and gruffness that Monkey never had before. Wander soon relented and agreed to stay longer, just to get him to stop, their eyes still linger on him.

“Hey Monkey, why did you want to observe this festival so badly? It's not like we never encountered this before.” Wander’s ears twitch as the melodious hum, Monkey still focus on his zongzi. They continue as they shift back to their own zongzi, “Didn't we see this five years ago? Weren't the people there worshiping a god or a dragon? I recall seeing those folks on decorated boats.” They laughed at the memory, “And I happened to remember you jumping on one boat with a family close to the river's edge.” Monkey stopped, his eyes locked on the zongzi and the edge of his lips tugs downwards. “Oh, didn't they offer to invite us for dinner after we cleared the air? That's right,...” They nod to themselves in thought, “...the entire family was visiting as a reunion, it was certainly a sight to see; some seeing each other for the first time in years, or bringing new additions to the family like a spouse or a child. Must be nice for everyone to see each other again.”

whamp!

Their body jerks and the table shook, Monkey stared long and hard at his smashed zongzi splattered on the wooden table with some of the rice sticking on his callous hands. “Monkey's going to get more rice.” he said abruptly with an unrecognizable tone, Wander didn't had the chance to object that the two still had a full bowl of rice left when he marched off. Their eyes watched him head towards the direction of their camp; most people refused to lodge them due to the duo’s appearance, but neither of them minded as they were both at home beneath the stars. Still though, it concerns them that Monkey left like that, but it's also clear as day to them that he needs time to be alone. So they give him time to himself and wait for his return.

They waited for nearly two hours before their stomach twisted itself into a knot and a frown on their lips. Rolled up sleeves, sticky hands stained with fruits and nuts, and a completed batch of zongzi for the intended goal later on. And yet, Monkey hasn't arrived back with a better mood or a smile; instead Wander stands alone with knitted brows, hastily grabbing everything and marching back to camp. Normally he's back in ten minutes, thirty at most, but it's rare, too rare, that he's gone for this long.

Wander pays no mind when people move to the other side of the road or the whispered stares as they briskly walk past. Walk past the village’ outskirt and into the trees, close to the river, but just a little over at the edge of its rocky banks, and finally next to a fallen tree is where camp was set up. Their eyes wide at the sight of the only bedroll thrown half-hazardly over the ashy firepit and supplies scattered everywhere with Monkey's back towards them.

“Monkey!” everything falling from their hands, their vision blur, and the sudden burning friction on their knees as they rush to his side. Ignoring the mess, the potential culprit, the future clean up, the only thing that concerns them was their beloved friend. Their hands on him as fingers touch and feel for anything out of place, his body slumps into Wander's body before he climbs into their lap.

“Wander” his voice quiet and soft, small hands clasp tightly against their robes as Monkey buries his face and body into their chest. “I…I miss'em, I miss my family…” His body shakes and his tail curls in. The reason for his departure earlier. “I miss them so much and yet I can't remember what they sound like or their faces. It's been fifteen years and I'm scare Wander, I'm scared I'm going to die alone!”

Arms, arms bigger and stronger than his encase him, a hand nudges him to the sound of a beating heart and the other gently grooming him as he sobs. He feels his friend, his sole companion in his lonely journey, press their lips on the crown of his head, and in a warm whisper: “You have me.”

His arms, his gangly and hairy arms clasp behind their back, embracing them tightly and takes a deep breath. Taking in the comforting scent, their scent, a scent that reminisce of home and happy times. “Thank you, my beloved friend. Thank you.”

[crystalqueertea]

Okay everyone. I’ve had an idea stuck in my brain for too long. DP X DC (what else did you expect from me look at all my reblogs) Danny and Jason. My favorite pair. My boys. Except. They don’t get their nice little happy endings that they get in most fics.

Danny finds Jason first through his ghost sense. It didn’t react the same way it would around a ghost or Vlad, so he assumes whatever this is either is just some run off ectoplasm from the zone or a highly contaminated person. BUT here’s the thing, he doesn’t approach Jason at first. No, he goes and asks Clockwork about any runoff ectoplasm humans could’ve been encountering that would damage them this much. This is how Danny finds out about the pits and how the league is throwing people in them. But, as we all know, Danny is impatient and doesn’t stay to hear the fact that the people getting thrown in are dead or dying. He just hears that people are getting thrown in.

So back to Jason he goes, ready to solve all this man’s problems by getting rid of all the ectoplasm in his body. As soon as he gets confirmation that Jason was thrown in the pits, he tell Jason he can fix him, no elaboration.

Jason, far too excited at the notion of even the possibility of getting rid of the pit and getting his family, his life back, sees this normal (mostly) kid with glowing green eyes and immediately accepts. So Danny gets right to work. He knows how to get his body to absorb ectoplasm, and when he runs into complications he assumes it’s because the ectoplasm was boiling, and that has to be bad, so he takes him to a place where he can make a makeshift lab out of his parents equipment.

With a slightly altered version of the, well, let’s be honest here, with the Edward Scissorhands esc. device Vlad of an alternate future once used to cut out his ghost, Danny has a much easier time getting the ectoplasm out. And everything is going well, Jason hasn’t complained, until they reach the last parts of ectoplasm in him. Upon contact, Jason screams.

Danny draws back to re-examine the ectoplasm he was working on, but in jolting backwards he hears a crack. Suddenly, Jason is unconscious on the table and Danny’s tool has a tiny chipped piece of what is obviously a ghosts core on the end.

Jason was in pain throughout the procedure but thought it would be worth it in the end to get rid of the pit. As it was extracted he somehow felt emptier, but also freer at the same time. It wasn’t until the excruciating pain shooting through what he knew was not his heart but felt like it that he understood where he recognized that freeing feeling.

It was what he had felt before he died. When the blood was leaving his body and he was slowly but surely less and less aware of what was going on around him but couldn’t find it in himself to care. So despite keeping quiet throughout the whole process till now, with the memories of crowbars and laughter and bombs and warehouses coursing through his memory on repeat, Jason screamed.

Danny, having been frozen looking at the ghost core piece (he’d never known a core could break, how couldn’t he have known-) eventually looks back down at Jason’s body. Now thoroughly unstable and missing a piece of his core, Jason looked dead and dying. And Danny could only think, ‘oh god, he was like me, he was a halfa, he needed ectoplasm to live-‘ but as those thoughts went through his brain, suddenly he saw himself on the table. His parents standing over him, raving about ghosts, they had talked only weeks ago about discovering that stronger ghosts had a core and how they wanted to rip one out to dissect it, the ghost can’t feel pain, not like they’ll miss it. And. Oh god. Danny’s become his parents. His worst nightmare of his parents. All those horrible nights spent thinking about what would happen if his parents caught him and he went and did it to someone else-

He has to fix this. But he doesn’t know if he can.

[albentelisa]

Hey! I've got an ask for you and I don't mind if it takes a while, because I know that you've probably got so many asks in your inbox, but I wanted to know how do you think Jim would (if he ever did) progress to become a villain and no one realises it until too late?

(I'm feeling a bit angsty this week)

Also, btw, I love your hcs- they're actually really cool and really well thought over, and some of them just really get my creative juices flowing. They always make me smile, especially when I've had a bad today so just... thank you ��)

Hi! Thank you for your kind words ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Actually, I have some 'bad end scenarios' with Jim ending as a villain (or sorta).

Grit-shaka. Let's say, Jim never managed to get to Bular in Young Atlas, so he never realizes the true importance of fear. Sure thing, Grit-shaka caused some complications, but those were more or less minor. Jim decides to use Grit-shaka in battles occasionally. Unfortunately for him, it seems like a great decision at first as he gets several victories (against goblins and several changelings). However, as Grit-shaka is a Gumm-Gumm object, it's actually harmful, not only taking away Jim's fears but slowly eroding his moral brakes, so eventually Jim reaches the point where anyone getting hurt doesn't even matter. That's where Toby and even Draal start to realize the extent of the damage done (Blinky is against Grit-shaka from the very start but no one is listening). However, it's already too late because Jim gets too addicted to Grit-shaka and cannot function without it at all. Grit-shaka also gives him some horrible ideas, culminating in him freeing Gunmar and letting him take over the Trollmarket (and get the power up after absorbing the Heartstone energy) so that Jim can fight Gunmar in his prime. It ends as bad as you can imagine.

Decimaar mind control. So, the trip to the Darklands leaves Jim with an unexpected 'baggage' - it turns out that Gunmar's attempt to mind control him wasn't a total failure. Neither it is a full success, yet Jim has short blackouts sometimes when he cannot remember his actions. It turns out that Gunmar has managed to instill his will upon Jim's soul, basically creating a separate personality who is loyal to Gunmar. Jim isn't aware of it for a long time (he chalks everything to stress and overexhaustion). Meanwhile, his other personality keeps spying for Gunmar and helping him in the incoming takeover of the Trollmarket. When Jim comes to Gunmar for the first time, Gunmar initially wants to make him his puppet, but seeing the second personality who is loyal to him, makes him amused, so he decides to nurture that one instead, strengthening it during each visit. Jim's friends realize that something is very wrong when Jim isn't able to remember some of his actions or conversations they had. However, everyone thinks that it can be an infiltration from a polymorph like Otto. So, the team designs a special code to be able to tell apart the real Jim from the fake. The problem is that Jim's second personality knows code as well, so it's pointless. Eventually, Gunmar takes over the Trollmarket and erases Jim's initial personality, keeping him by his side as his loyal champion.

Aspectus Stone and Hunter Jim. This one isn't much of the villain one, but still nasty for Jim. So, Jim manages to send all of his copies back, and at first, everything is back to normal. However, Jim isn't aware that the experience was damaging to his psyche and now his soul is imbalanced. He turns more mission-focused, gradually losing his other interests. It's pretty minor at first so his team easily chalks it to Jim feeling guilty because of Gunmar's escape. He starts to skip school, refuses fun activities, and is rarely at home at night. Blinky tries to talk to him about it, but Jim just waves him off. Toby starts to panic when Jim stops cooking, and Claire notices how cold Jim becomes towards her and basically everyone else. She encounters him and asks if he is Hunter Jim (as she is the only one who has met that one), but Jim tells her he is the only Jim. That's when everyone realizes that something is really off, but it's too late. Jim cuts ties with everyone and goes alone to fight Gunmar, only to be defeated and fall under his mind control.

Gravesand. So, in this scenario, Blinky doesn't stop Jim's training with gravesand in time, so it causes some permanent damage, leaving Jim with some troll traits and a feral mind. Moreover, Jim gets addicted to the gravesand, stealing it from Strickler (who has already realized his mistake and tries his best to keep it away from Jim). The gravesand makes Jim attack everyone as he gets highly aggressive. He doesn't even remember his role as the protector anymore, simply enjoying battles and carnage. He ends up killing several Gumm-gumms and good trolls and for him, it's no different. Gunmar finds him in this state and finds it amusing, so he decides to keep Jim as his feral pet and force him to fight his enemies.

Merlin taking 'his champion' thing too far. Another not-that-much villain scenario, but well... So in this one, Jim's friends and family never reach him at the rooftop, and Merlin is the one who finds him there. It is the moment of ultimate vulnerability for Jim, and instead of support, he gets the manipulator. Jim confesses that it's too much for him to realize what exactly he has lost (😢) and Merlin proposes the solution - which is basically wiping out all Jim's memories except ones concerning his mission. When everyone reaches Jim, it's already too late, and the irreversible damage is done. In his state Jim has no trouble defeating Gunmar, however, it turns out that he's highly vulnerable to Morgana's manipulations and she makes him change sides, convincing him that she is the one who tries to build the perfect world for trolls (and in Jim's mind, he is the champion of the trollkind, meaning that he has to protect them first). Morgana makes Jim her new champion and uses him to hunt her opponents.

Obsidian shard's corruption. This one is post-Wizards. It turns out that while Claire managed to turn Jim human, the evil influence residue remained. It's unnoticeable at first, with Jim simply being easily annoyed, which everyone explains as a consequence of his transformations and losing the amulet. However, Jim is haunted by his memories of Camelot times and the abuse trolls faced there. Those ignite some rage inside his soul and it takes a while until Jim can calm down (which gradually becomes more and more difficult). He also starts to feel some odd repulsion towards humans. Barbara and Toby suffer from it the most (Claire and Douxie are fine because they are wizards, and Jim doesn't treat them differently). It ends up with the Arcane Order contacting Jim and convincing him to join their side and build a better world for magical beings.

[canmom]

the shape of things that my brain likes is a chain of 'whys'.

if i can ask 'so why is it done this way' and get an answer like 'well, when you try to do x, you encounter y problem, which you can solve by z' that is great. if it's 'we found/created this space of possibilities, and we're all exploring it', that's also great. if it's a historical story, like A came along and defined the scope of the activity, and then B came along and responded, and then C and D and E and F, we're iterating - well it's more arbitrary but if that's the best answer available it's the best answer available.

if it's 'idk, just is' then it's frustrating.

unfortunately the thing is... we humans are instantiated with pretty much an untrained neural net. at first our brains gotta learn shit like motor functions and recognise there's other minds and absorb a language to guide our thoughts and all that shit, but at some point we are just kind of left to our own devices to figure out what to do with the remaining decades of being alive. we have some sense of the shape of the world and it's affordances, our bodies give inputs that we can desire to feel again or hope to avoid, but once survival is taken care of, what we actually do with being alive is not something that has a nice 'deducible from first principles' sort of answer. we have to make arbitrary decisions. confound it!

just about anything can be an art form or a game (two very closely related concepts). it's just like... the scope of some activity that humans have settled on, maybe because we find it tends to arrange the world in ways that please our senses, maybe because it gives a handle to understand the noise around us. we find it satisfying to create these little bits of logical structure in the complete arbitrariness of everything. learning, the process of adapting to something, is a big part of what makes it compelling.

we learn these different activities by imitation at first. but since we crave novelty, and since all these activities are embedded in social relationships of power and prestige and so on, maybe at some point we get unsatisfied, we feel we've seen everything this particularly scheme has to offer, or that the activity as we encounter it doesn't suit our particular lives and we'd rather put a different spin on it... so we adjust it, make another variant. thus cultural practices evolve. they evolve in a way that is much more vague and hard to define than alleles, proteins, and organisms. there's no skin defining the boundary of a concept, it's more like the soup of bacteria swapping genes.

it's all so fascinating, because it's all made of the things that someone somewhere has found fascinating and hoped to communicate to other brains like it. "try this, you might enjoy it," spread across eight billion people and counting. 'i' could live a hundred times from the same starting point and spend the 80-ish years i get alive in a hundred completely different ways and develop into 'different people' each time, and in each one feel that i lived as interesting and purposeful a life as anyone gets to live. but i only get to experience the one lifetime, so I have to choose, even just to let the world choose for me... and let all those choices become a history that pushes into one trajectory or another, even if i can't see its shape. tumbling like a plinko horse.

why am 'i' this person, who cares about these things, and not another person who cares about other things? why did the whirlpool form there and not ten centimetres to the left? why are these sounds a musical genre, why are these shapes an art style? systems be complex, sometimes that's all you can say...

but even if I'm just one little tentacle of the incomprehensible superorganism/egregore/glider-pattern fumbling its way through experience-space, I'm glad i get to be that. wouldn't miss it for the world...

[alfgifu]

Fic analysis 39. Rough handling

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51809101/chapters/130984120

Word count: 7,416

Chapters: 3

First posted: 24th November 2023

Last chapter up: 26th November 2023

Summary: 

Handling would certainly be needed this evening. I could feel the slight tug on the rope at my wrist as I pulled Kip along. His easy ability to keep pace with me made this less than satisfying as an outlet for my – frustration, call it frustration. (Better not to invoke fear, or fury, or any of the wilder emotions that shook and swirled beneath the parts of myself I deemed appropriate for you to acknowledge.) He had endangered himself. Deliberately. (I had no words to express my outraged panic on his behalf.)

Kip knew he was in trouble, of course.

How and why this came about

This was another fic that started as a chat, turned into a livefic for a few friends, and then sprouted out into a doc and AO3 publication of its own.

In this case the line of thought was around the way that Kip would be able to get involved in politics in his position as the emperor’s concubine, and the difference his role would make to the ways he could exercise influence. Accepting a risk to his life, as he does in canon, would be far more visible to his Radiancy and most definitely forbidden.

The other thought that went into this fic was that his Radiancy would struggle to distinguish between his own ‘unacceptable’ desires (for sensation, for multiple partners, to be absorbed into a crowd and no longer set apart, to not be in charge) and Kip’s (Kip would be largely uninterested in sex if it were not now his core competency and most valued asset). His Radiancy is also unable to draw boundaries between real and play punishment. Having slid so far across his own moral event horizon he is, as the tags of another fic say, bad at boundaries.

What worked and what didn’t

One recurring theme of evil!household is that Kip is, for the emperor, an exception to all his usual rules. On some level he sees Kip as an extension of himself and - in most of the fics, through most of the AU - nobody calls him on it. I’m pleased with the quiet moment in this fic where his Radiancy is careful to listen to and respect Ludvic’s preferences at the same time as he is ignoring and overriding Kip’s, which really crystallises the concept.

I’m also pleased with the depiction of sex, with the way the narration loses focus as Kip is losing focus, and with the continuing stark contrast in perspectives between Kip and his Radiancy and those around them.

What I learned from writing it

This fic (and evil!household in general) definitely improved my ability to write erotica. Mostly in a depraved direction, but when I came back to softer sex scenes in future works I think you can see the improvement there too.

I was also getting better at tagging and naming fics, and really enjoying working through the crunchy emotional and moral dynamics that the scenarios threw up, as well as their impact on those involved. Cognitive dissonance fascinates me and so do bad choices and messed-up power dynamics - we all encounter these things and engage in them in our own lives, and this sort of story lets me as an author push that into an extreme that reveals so much about human nature.

One thing I didn’t think much about at the time but have realised through this exercise is how rapidly I dropped all the early e!household fics. A chapter a day between 18th and 26th November 2023 to get this far - I had a backlog, because I hadn’t wanted to post any of them while still uploading Cross your heart. At the time I didn’t think much of it… I had been posting something almost every day for months, and just kept going with whatever was next in the queue. But on reflection it was hardly fair, in contrast to the level of care I took around floating CYH, that I just pinged out this whole raft of content in a separate dubcon-to-noncon AU immediately following that without at least taking a slight break.

Now that I’m writing less and looking over the range of things I have written and posted, I feel like I’m seeing more of the dynamics around how posting impacts on the way people see and interact with the fic. None of this is terrible, but it does make me want to be more intentional about what I’m doing going forward.

[horizon-verizon]

Criston clearly has every right to be upset with Rhaenyra (of course killing Joffrey and abusing her sons is obviously disgusting.)

It’s pretty clearly portrayed on-screen that she came home horny and drunk, lured the hot servant that she hired into her room, prevented him from leaving, continued to pressure him even after he said “Stop it”, and he was disinterested and conflicted because of his vows and consequences he could face (like exile).

But she gave zero fucks about his agency as a human... didn’t care about his feelings or the consequences to him. She needed a warm body to get her rocks off and Criston was the most convenient one for her, because, as Daemon told her this episode, “Targaryens take what they want.”

It’s the entire theme of the episode... Daemon takes Rhaenyra, Viserys takes Alicent, and Rhaenyra takes Criston. All immoral sexual acts done by powerful Targaryens so they can satiate their sexual urges, at the cost of those less powerful than them.

Criston has every right to be pissed with her considering she basically just used him to get her rocks off, then a short time later asked if he’d be her whore... completely tone-deaf and lacks empathy towards the person who sacrificed his honor and position (and even his life) just to be with her when she pressured him. Rhaenyra led Criston into making one mistake after another, she led him to despair and darkness.

Obviously Criston shares his portion of the blame for his eventual choice to give in (conflict within the human heart and all), but Rhaenyra’s immoral actions and serious consent issues in regards to sexual assault wholly make Criston the victim in this encounter, regardless of age or gender.

And I would never tell a victim of something like this they aren’t entitled to be angry or show hatred. People would sympathize more with Criston had their genders been reversed.

*EDITED POST* (9/23/23)

First of all:

Second, anon:

HotD's writing has hypocrisies on hypocrisies imbedded in it, so I don't absorb (nor do I try to) any ethical "lessons" or messages from this show, esp b/c it constantly contradicts itself and/or reduces the nuances of several characters' motivations, relationships, and actions. All the while trying to reduce as much as possible the fans' factionalism...when they should have just left well enough alone as this entire story asks us to weigh actions held against a woman for being a woman looking for power. HotD is not "deep"--it's colorful images and a pretense at "deepness" while removing all the "deepness".

You can read this post about my thoughts concerning how the writers wrote Rhaenyra & Criston's relationship, sex scenes, and their characteristics; why they vacuum real meaning from the scene in comparison to what is suggestible in the "unreliably-told account of the Dance"; etc. I also address "if the roles/genders were reversed". Other than that, I don't really have anything to say to you until there's a real counterargument to my arguments.

[insharana]

BOOK REVIEW - VERITY by COLLEEN HOOVER

WHOSE TRUTH IS THE LIE: VERITY "Verity" is a book that's really exciting and mysterious. It's about people and their minds, making readers wonder who they really are.it is a fictional book. The theme is all about secrets, trust, and how things might not be as they seem to be. It is a Set up against a backdrop of suspense and mystery, this book intricately weaves a tale of unexpected twists and turns, keeping readers thoroughly engaged till the very end. People who love stories that keep them guessing will enjoy this book. It's full of surprises and makes readers think about how past affects choices. Reading Variety will keep one hooked and thinking even after it is finished reading.

Colleen Hoover usually writes love stories or books for younger readers where the characters face tough situations and learn about life and relationships. Verity is different because it's not about romance. It's a suspenseful and scary book, unlike what she normally writes. Instead of focusing on love, it's about secrets and mysteries that keep readers guessing and investing their thoughts. At its core, the theme of Variety revolves around the complexity of human nature. It skilfully explores the real identity, trust, and the blurred lines between reality and illusion. Readers are taken on a journey where perceptions are challenged, and the characters whose personality is hidden which makes them enigmatic. This makes readers hard to differentiate between whose sides they should take. The story is easy to sink into, and difficult to put down. The story revolves around Verity's intense but selfish love for Jeremy her husband, leading to unexpected crimes. Her life with their twin daughters Chastin and harper and a small son Crew is a bit difficult for her to balance which further pushes the darker layers of the story. It touches on the impact of grief and loss, as both Lowen a struggling author and Jeremy grapple with the deaths of loved ones. It contains sudden tragedies whose true reasons could never been defined clearly, it’s all up to the readers, how they want to absorb the story as per there imagination. This departure from her traditional style demonstrates Hoover's versatility and skill in delivering a gripping story across diverse genres.

The book cover of Verity reflects the mysterious and suspenseful nature of the story, which by first sight may appear as something totally weird and meaningless but as I completed, I could connect with the hidden pictures and able to relate it with story. I was amazed how could I not notice the purpose of the cover, thoughtfulness in that could be clearly seen. Also, this book is self-published by author. As for the reading time, completing Verity might take around 10-12 hours, depending on one's reading pace. The mystery in the story stays super strong, and it shows how people have deep feelings, which is pretty cool. It handles difficult parts in a different way and talks about serious stuff in a really interesting way that keeps readers hooked. This book isn't like most others—it's special. It sticks in your mind even after you finish it, making you think about it and feel things for a long time. It's like having a special secret that keeps your thoughts busy and your feelings alive.

“Some families are lucky enough to never experience a single tragedy. But then there are those families that seem to have tragedies waiting on the back burner. What can go wrong, goes wrong. And then gets worse,” The book explores emotions like love, fear, and anger, which are feelings we all experience in our lives. It also delves into the complexities of human relationships, where people can be tricky and manipulate each other. In today's world, we often encounter situations where trust is questioned, and the lines between truth and lies can become blurred. "Verity" encourages us to think about why people behave the way they do and challenges us to question the hidden layers within ourselves and the world around us. It reflects the complexities of our own lives and relationships which we may have all around us and can experience in today’s world.

As a recommendation, "Verity" stands out as a must-read due to its gripping narrative, intricate plot twists, and the chilling exploration of psychological depths. Readers who enjoy suspenseful thrillers with a touch of mystery and psychological intrigue will find themselves engrossed in the pages of this book. It's particularly well-suited for those who appreciate stories that keep them guessing and challenge their perceptions of right and wrong. This book that delves into some darker themes and can be quite intense at times. So, if someone is sensitive to certain traumatic or heavy subjects, it might not be the best choice for them. It's always good to consider your own comfort level when choosing what to read. If you prefer lighter or more uplifting stories, there are plenty of other great options out there. It's all about finding what goes well with you and makes you feel good. So, keep that in mind when deciding whether or not to dive into Verity.

Different people might feel differently about this book. Some super good readers might say it's not really deep, but for people like me, who are just starting to read a lot, it could be awesome. However, I strongly feel that everyone should give this book a chance at least once. It's a special book that everyone should try out to see how they feel about it. It's like tasting something new—you never know if you like it until you give it a try. This book might be someone's favourite, while for others, it might not hit the spot. But the important thing is to give it a shot and see one can connect to this genre too, what you think. It's like taking different paths from your preference can sometimes, discover something amazing, and sometimes it's just not your thing. Verity is totally up to the reader to curve the imagination in their own way and decide whose truth is the lie ……

[asherlockstudy]

On Rhett’s tattoo and deconstruction update

To the Rhett!tattoo Anon, I had not forgotten my promise to write about it but I intentionally waited for his deconstruction update because it was clear those two would be correlated and together provide more information. Besides, Rhett sort of explained the symbolism behind the tattoo pretty thoroughly and honestly.

The update episode confirmed what has always been clear and even more emphasized by the new tattoo; Rhett has always remained spiritual. I would take it a notch further and consider that he also remains religious in the sense that he actively seeks for a religion, dogma or belief that appears solid enough for him to believe in. In any case, it was a joy to listen to him. We are in a very similar place regarding spirituality, even though the way we landed there couldn’t be more different.

The tattoo is a reminder of where he’s been and where he is going. It has this Judaic / Biblical interpretation of the world as well as heaven and hell, things he factually knows are wrong. He reminds to himself that he started from a wrong place. However, where heaven is supposed to be is the little open door 👀 The little door can take so many meanings but ultimately, like he implied, it is the realisation that all those years of his youth, even when he was wrong, all the circumstances led to his life as it is now, to the changes and choices he has done now. Most things in his life, including his family and his relationship with Link and its evolution to whatever it is now exist because of all this time he was being wrong. Rhett realised the irony that this very religious system he was part of led him to paths and situations and choices and feelings that it itself condemns and ostracises. That religious world opened to him a little door to the unknown, which Rhett implied very cautiously that it might be his own paradise or an opportunity to explore further the ultimate truth.

The deconstruction update was thus not surprising. It wasn’t the main core that I found intriguing (although all the content was interesting) but rather the small details, the hints. Here are some notes:

* Rhett explained how he realised after leaving the faith that he had not changed. He still wanted to love his wife, his kids, his friends. I watched this twice and to be totally honest the second time it didn’t seem to me as strong as the first but I will mention it nonetheless; Link was a little frozen when Rhett said this and responded with a weak “yes” specifically when Rhett said “the loving his friends” part. He remained pensive throughout, I almost thought he was fighting to not look bored or tired but at the same time there was something in his dead / droopy expression that made me feel like he was trying to not get emotional, sad.

* Rhett implied that he was the target of disbelief from his immediate circle when he decided to leave the faith, specifically saying that those close or relatively close people to him that are still Christians accused him that he did not leave the church for the intellectual reasons he has mentioned but for actually ulterior “selfish desires he had” and that “deep inside they always knew Rhett was never genuinely following the spirit of the doctrine, he never belonged”. Now, that’s heavy and prior to that I think Rhett had never made such implications, he only talked about his scepticism. It’s interesting that “some people” said this when at the same time Rhett explains how earnestly absorbed he was by the doctrine. It makes you wonder (not really) what it is those people saw in young Rhett that made them question that Rhett could be a “true Christian” at heart and what “selfish desires” they are talking about. This kind of unpleasant exchanges he may have had with close people could be after all what inspired the song “I think I am supposed to like this”.

* Rhett created a thorough analogy in order to explain his experience leaving the faith and what he encountered in and out of the church, which was not all that different. But the way he phrases everything in this analogy is interesting, including that he equates leaving the faith as “getting out of a house”. And be in the open and free. To accept and love others. And to seek the truth still but without his former conviction that he is the right one.

PS. Link said his deconstruction update will be shorter and that he has found the answer to all of Rhett’s concerns and it’s very easy. I am willing to bet that his answer is love, unconditional love and living in the moment. And that this is the only truth that matters, to him. Link hasn’t healed from the trauma he gradually realised the church left to him and he is still uncomfortable in these discussions.

[mystech-master]

Hero Artifact: Luz Noceda

Full Hero Artifact explanation here

With Luz, I went through a few revisions. My initial idea was a key/talisman that had a lot more skull/owl imagery, with horns referencing King and Papa Titan. But I wanted to lean away from that a bit to keep it more in-line with Luz. As Eda said "You gotta be your own witch".

Then as I was looking through stuff about her, I got to A. her backup dream of being a writer and her Glyph drawing, so I thought "Magic Pen".

This artifact allows Luz to tap back into the full power of her glyphs, and SO much more. The "Ink" of this pen (shown as the part that looks like space) is pure magical essence that can be molded however its user likes. In a way, it is an external bile sac which will allow Luz to use all the other Boiling Isles magics, making it sort of like Amity's training wand from Adventures in the Elements. It can also draw the glyphs in mid-air, sort of making it an in-between of the classic witch style of magic and glyph/titan magic. Also, the ink can be removed and be replaced with normal ink so Luz can use it s a normal pen if she wanted.

She can use it to access her titan form once again, but unlocking that feature kind of involves replicating the circumstance upon which she originally obtained that power, aka she has to stab herself in the heart with the Pen. It'll hurt like hell the first time, but afterward, it'll be far less painful and essentially treated as a super mode for her. She will then proceed to train her "transformation sequence posing" in private for a while.

While it does grant access to the other Boiling Isles magics, when it comes to the Nine Tracks/Covens there was a slight hiccup when it was created. Yes, Luz wanted to learn all the magics at Hexside, but these are also the nine magics of the Covens made by Emperor Belos, and we all know how much angst Luz feels about him. During the forging of this artifact that turmoil did risk limiting its ability to perform those magics, but luckily Luz's bonds with friends who are from those Covens/Trakcs managed to bypass them, but there are some issues when it comes to Construction Magic (Luz has no close friends who specialize in that), and Oracle Magic (the only two people connected to Luz with this type are Barcus, who she isn't very close to, and Odalia, her super awesome GF's evil mom). However if she can overcome these blocks she can access the ability to create new sigils that, instead of restricting what kinds of magic someone can use, can expand their ability, even granting those who couldn't use magic the ability to use it similar to how the Titan showed Luz the Glyphs, thus allowing her to learn magic.

The Pen can of course extend to act as a staff/perch for Stringbean.

The real fun part though, comes from what happens when Luz encounters other magics from other worlds. As Luz travels to various other worlds, she can create a spell circle that absorbs other types of magics and adds them to her ink reservoir/barrel. This will then allow Luz to access that new unique type of magic. Allowing her to greatly expand her magical abilities. She can only do this with magic though, it won't work on stuff like Ki/Chi. Luz will of course be excited to explore various other worlds and learn all these new types of magic and see how she can combine them. Luz's sigils could also work on these new magics, allowing other people to use magics from worlds not their own.

One risky path Luz could end up taking is messing around with biological manipulation magic, learning how to alter her own biology to use the other magics more naturally as some worlds have magic be a bloodline thing. Using it to give herself a natural bile sac and be a Boiling Isle's witch, not too bad. But if she starts altering biology and handing out magical talent in worlds where you got snobish mage nobility who may not take to kindly to some random plebeian handing out power that should be reserved for people of proper blood, then she might risk making some enemies.

For the design I kept with purple as a main color since that seems to be a color well associated with Luz, I wanted to try and do a bisexual flag color scheme but I can't find the right shade of pink right now. Yellowish-gold as a secondary color to reference the Light glyphs, and stars in the ink reservoir as Luz has a bit of a star motif sometimes. The classic Owl House eye goes well with her association with snakes and the moon behind it and its pink/lavender color scheme is meant to reference Amity. A bit of King horns on top and The feather on the end is meant to invoke imagery of a fantasy quill for her nerdy self and reference Eda, I looked up "Owl Feathers" and got a kind of a stripy look from some of them, so I tried to mix browns and a bit of a red based on Owlbert/Hooty and Eda's Owl Beast/Harpy form (specifically her red dress and the more brownish-orange her hair would naturally be w/o the curse).