#but also I think people are just joking but these stans are taking everything way too seriously

[theriverdalereviewer]

very happy that I am staying far and away from yellowjackets twitters because they’re starting to sound like kpop stans

[padmerry]

Stan twins: codependency & identity issues

“I tell you it’s unnatural for siblings to get along as well as you do,” says Stan to Dipper and Mabel in Not What He Seems, clearly missing his own relationship with Ford before things started to change. “We used to be like Dipper and Mabel,” says Ford in Weirdmaggedon 3: Take Back the Falls. Were they really, though?

I think what many people don’t get about Stan and Ford’s dynamic as children, or even as teenagers, is that, no matter what Stan and Ford think or say about it, they were not like Mabel and Dipper. That just highlights their lack of self-awareness. Here’s a canon analysis for anyone who cares to understand my point:

Mabel and Dipper have overall very different interests and hobbies and act separately on them. They have other friends and spend time with them—well, at least Mabel has Candy and Grenda, as the bubbly social butterfly she is; Dipper, on the other hand, seems way more preoccupied with deciphering the mysteries of Journal 3, but doesn’t miss an opportunity to be included in Wendy’s cool teenage group, as seen in episodes The Inconveniencing and The Love God (in the latter, he seems to be actually succeeding). As fraternal twins of different genders, no matter how alike they look (and despite Mabel’s joke of being “girl Dipper”), they still manage to retain pretty distinct identities. No issue here.

Mabel does her sleepovers, goes to boy band shows, and has encounters with potential crushes. When a surprised Dipper asks her about her vampire love in The Deep End, she points out, “I don’t tell you everything.” Dipper, meanwhile, explored the town with Soos, went to Wendy’s house, hung out with her teen gang, and overall lived many adventures without Mabel, such as trying to prove himself a man with help of the Manotaurs. I think the episode that shows the healthy independence Dipper and Mabel had from each other the best is probably Carpe Diem, inspired in Alex’s real life frustration with his sister, Ariel, but it can be observed all through the series:

What is shown to us in AToTS already differs from that. The Stan twins were inseparable, and each other’s only friends, as Stan establishes early on in his narrative: “Those bullies may have been right about us not making many friends, but when push comes to shove, you only really need one.”

With his question to Ford in the Lost Legends comic, The Jersey Devil’s in the Details, Stan implies they really did everything together, in a way reminiscent of Phineas and Ferb: “So what’re we gonna do today, buddy?”

Even small details, like the toys in their room, served to show the difference between the Stans and Dipper & Mabel, as Matt Chapman clarifies on the episode’s official commentary:

You also see that at this age, all the stuff that would cross over, that would appeal to both of them. You know, it’s not just like, oh, there’s science stuff here and then there’s like—I don’t know—what little Stan would be into. It’s like, no, they both like all this.

“But Mabel was just as desperate in Dipper and Mabel vs the Future as Stan was in A Tale of Two Stans!” Yes, true. She was, and I do believe her relationship with Dipper was the most important one in her life. But do you think the facts that a) she was already terrified of growing up, as shown in the episode Summerween, b) Candy and Grenda declined her invitations to their birthday party, c) Wendy showed her the apparently terrible reality of being a teenager, and d) Stan told her that it would be fine because at least she would always have Dipper... had nothing to with it? Originally her parents were going to forbid her from bringing Waddles to Piedmont, as revealed in the episode commentary of Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future, as just one more heartbreaking thing on the pile of Mabel’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. (Of course, teen Stan’s circumstances were aggravated by the bad home situation he was being “left alone” in by Ford—just like Mabel! Whose parents were arguing, per TBoB canon, to the point of giving Dipper recurring nightmares.)

Another very important thing is that the poor girl was twelve years old, while Stan was presumably seventeen-ish, an age at which separation would be normal and even expected, with the time for college approaching. In fact, differently from what happened with Mabel, whose imminent separation from Dipper came out of left field through an unexpected proposal by Ford (foreshadowed only by her slight discomfort over how close Ford and Dipper were becoming), there was a blatant rift between the teen Stans that Ford went so far as to acknowledge to Stan’s face. Using Stan’s own words from the Land Before Swine commentary: “Anyway, cut to high school, the guy’s never kissed a girl, prom is coming up, and he asked me for advice. ‘Stanley, I know things have been a little weird between you and me with college, but can you talk to me about girls?’” That was before prom (the one in which a girl threw fruit punch at Ford), mind you.

And still, this is what Stan thinks when he realizes Ford is going to accept the scholarship: “Without Ford, I was just half of a dynamic duo. I couldn’t make it without him.” He saw himself as only half of a whole—no wonder, with the way both twins were pushed to believe this since their birth, when they were both named Stan.

When asked about Shermie, Alex observed that a crucial part of their dynamic is that they only had each other. No younger or older brother to support them. The quote from HanaHyperfixates’ and ThatGFFan’s interview:

In terms of Shermie, I remember asking Rob or somebody at some point, like, “Would Shermie be here, logically? Do we have to see him?” I don’t really wanna see him. I’m not interested in that. I’m interested in Stan and Ford being—sort of having only each other and then losing each other because of their different life paths.

I think the suggestion was, “Maybe Shermie would be a baby. Maybe that would happen.” And being like, “okay sure.”

Let’s not forget, too, the only time Ford ever mentions Shermie in Journal 3—“Sherman Pines’s,” surname and all:

From my own observations about their parents, that point is only driven further home.

Filbrick is, well, Filbrick. I don’t think I need to explain much here; every one of us has different interpretations and headcanons about him, but they seem to all agree on the common factor he wasn’t a good father—how much that can be justified by their time period or stretched to accommodate the most heartwrenching stangst is up for debate, just not a subject for this post.

Caryn is more complicated. I think Filbrick was definitely ‘worse’ than her, so to speak, at least in a more obvious way, and she has canonically demonstrated considerable fondness for Stan in particular—according to her, Stan’s rambunctiousness can be attributed to an excess of “personality,” he’s her “little free spirit.” She was, most notably, one of the two people present at Stan’s funeral if the info on the new website is to be trusted. We see her smiling brightly in the picture of the baby Stan twins included in TBoB, which hints at the fact she indeed liked her kids.

But the fact that she, as an adult, didn’t intervene when Stan was kicked out is simply, in my point of view, inexcusable. One could say she was momentarily paralyzed from an overwhelming fear of Filbrick, as a supposed victim herself, but a) that’s already entering headcanon domain, and b) I think that’s far from the truth and directly contradicting the comics, in which she looks happy and relaxed in the company of Filbrick: initiating contact and kissing him on the cheek, comfortingly stroking his back, looking at him with can only be described as tenderness... I don’t think Filbrick is meant to be seen as a monster, not in an exaggerated way. (He’s shown to be touched by Stan’s little stunt with the golden chain, too.) Just a really shitty father, in a common, boring, more nuanced, no less traumatizing, way.

Borrowing a paragraph from a previous analysis:

To me, the most telling thing of all is the fact Stan calls for Ford to help him, not his own mother. Ford, his brother, same age as him, who was at the moment beyond furious with him and very unlikely to show any compassion. Ford, whose attempts to change Filbrick’s mind would more likely than not have been unsuccessful. Not Caryn, adult, who probably had much greater sway over Filbrick. They say a child’s first instinct is to call for their mama. Clearly not in this case!

I’m not saying, here, that Caryn didn’t care about her boys. I elaborate more on her in the meta referenced above, here.

I find it adorable how easily, without any previous prompting, baby Stanley opens up to Ford about his feelings in the comics. The sheer vulnerability of this moment, seeking Ford’s reassurance that he wasn’t a bad kid; the implicit, profound trust, especially coming from someone like Stan, who grows into a man packed to the gills with toxic masculinity due to what he learned from his father. And the manner in which Ford gently comforts him, as if he were used to doing so. As Stan, too, had been shown to do when Crampelter mocked Ford’s fingers. They were clearly accustomed to being each other’s emotional pillars, in the way that kids who learned early on that they can’t count on adults or lean on the authority figures in their lives start building their own little safe space.

The way I see it, the Stan twins got along extremely well, for better or for worse. No obnoxious sibling bickering. No fights and conflict. How could they? They were literally each other’s only friend. If anything, their first major fight was caused by lack of communication, among many other things; they repressed their frustrations with each other to a ridiculous point instead of simply externalizing them like you would expect of an average sibling dynamic.

Second of all, they were monozygotic aka identical twins, as strongly hinted in the show, comics, and books, and as confirmed by Alex on the TBoB website, the behind-the-scenes DVD commentaries, and Twitter. The first mention of it, in 2015, below:

They were both named Stan, they had the same face. I’ve read irl identical twins’ confessions about the nature of such a relationship re: identity issues and how people tend to treat you, and it’s often not pretty. In the Stan twins’ case, their sense of identity was beyond blurry, and it’s not difficult to see why. If you pay attention to the show or the comics, you’ll see many hints of this unhealthiness: the way they were both called to the principal’s office (“Pines twins,” even though only Ford was an interested party), the way Stan was called “a dumber, sweatier version” of Ford by Crampelter, the way they had already pretended to be each other before, not in their childhood but adolescence (Stan’s idea, according to hilarious extra material in the DVDs).

Baby Ford, in the comics, has demonstrated a tendency to shoulder the blame that should only be attributed to Stan. For example, when he exclaims, “Oh my God! We killed the Sibling Brothers!” Ford, honey, if anyone had killed the Sibling Brothers, it would’ve been your brother, the person who shoved them in the first place. Not you.

I find it adorable that he also grounded himself for Stan! Filbrick had been very clear about grounding Stan, only, not both twins. But Ford stays with him as if he were grounded as well, as if he didn’t even have a choice. Where Stan was, there was Ford, not far behind.

They were an unit. Inseparable. As simple as that.

Until they weren’t.

The science fair incident happens, of course—and it’s worth noting Ford doesn’t consider the possibility that Stan sabotaged him out of jealousy or envy of his success for even a second! Instead, he immediately assumes Stan broke his machine so Ford would stay with him!

Did their codependency end with their separation, then? I’ve seen many people believing that yes, it did.

But mullet!Stan, now an adult, ten years after his fight with Ford, still resents Ford for not staying with him “forever”:

Not only that, but as Rob Renzetti (who is Gravity Falls’ supervising producer and story editor and the co-author of Journal 3) phrased it in this separate interview by HanaHyperfixates, Ford’s absence in Stan’s life haunted him and shaped all his relationships:

Um, I mean, to me that’s—I mean, really, Stan—Stan’s life has been… it’s been… sad, and lonely, since—he really… his brother was his best friend, and he loved him so, and I don’t think, you know, I don’t think any other relationship ever worked out for him, because of what happened between him and his brother.

And by the end of it all, you get Bill calling Stan “co-dependant” (British Bill?) on the TBoB website:

I know you might think, at first, that we should take Bill’s insults with a grain of salt, since he’s 1) Bill and 2) petty and desperate. But Bill has also a track record of trying to hit where he thinks will hurt the most, and he knows people. His insult here is not an isolated thing either. It might have been easily dismissed, I agree, if not for all the other evidence for the Stans’ codependency that I’m currently showing you. It’s just one proof out of many, just reinforcing an idea that’s already presented quite clearly.

If you’re still not convinced, Alex has revealed in HanaHyperfixates and ThatGFFan’s interview that Ford’s entire character was built around the type of person that could plausibility explain Stan’s neediness:

Ford was very much us building backwards. The same way you know a black hole is there by the light warped around it, it’s like, you know the damage someone’s family has done to them by all of their weird tics and behaviors. So who is the character who would result in Stan being this hurt and needy and mad and also longing?

But Stan’s codependency, imo, was always easier to see than Ford’s, to the point people mistakenly think Stan cared more about Ford than Ford about him. (I’ve dedicated an entire meta to debunking that assumption as well, here.)

In the commentary of Society of the Blind Eye, though, Alex added, referring to Ford and Fiddleford’s friendship:

Ford as somebody who lost Stan is kinda looking for—even though he rejected his brother, he kinda needs, he needs that other person, and he tried to find that in this kinda sweet prodigy and he just pushed him too far.

What Alex said about Ford’s relationship with Fiddleford can easily be applied to Ford’s relationship with Bill and with Dipper, since Ford needs “that other person,” needs to be one half of a duo. Ford has tried to recreate his dynamic with Stan again, and again, and again:

And then, of course, we have Ford’s proposal.

What’s really cool about this first image (below) is that it was drawn before Stan even accepted Ford’s proposal, and parallels their childhood picture in Ford’s pocket (one that, per Word of God, Ford has always carried with him, even before his portal days, as explained here) in a very obvious manner:

Ford was already excitedly fantasizing, drawing fanart of them together, picking their outfits and the name of the boat.

But more than that, he also says:

[...] I think it’s time for the Pines twins to join forces again. At least, I hope so. I haven’t discussed my idea with Stan yet. But if I know my brother, he will jump at the chance to find “money and babes.”

And this, to me, expresses both his hope that Stan would welcome his idea and agree to sail away with him and his almost certainty that it is exactly what is going to happen. Ford does mention Stan’s love for “money and babes,” but do you guys think Ford didn’t know what (or better yet, whom) Stan actually loved? In AToTS, Journal 3, and TBoB’s new canon material, we can observe that same certainty. In all three instances, Ford immediately assumes that Stan will show up and come for his call via postcard with no indication whatsoever that the possibility of Stan declining showed up in his mind.

Alex has also commented, in the first interview I’ve referenced:

Those characters at sea—it was so rich. They’re really really funny, because they both have major major blind spots. I can kinda write stories about them as a duo forever, because you can always excuse them both getting hyped on a bad idea for their own reasons, and then you can always come up with a reason for them to disagree about it, and it’s always sweet to see them come together again, because they’re so full of themselves, but they are also both so damaged they desperately need each other.

Not only reinforcing the idea that their codependency was—or at least eventually became—mutual, but confirming that things returned to their status quo. Ford has a black & white mindset, the only way he knows how to be with Stan is a codependent way. They’re either separated and estranged or they’re sailing completely alone on a boat for the rest of their lives. Either rivals or best friends forever. There’s no middle ground for him.

[fuqnia]

SP Main Four + butters !College AU Relationship Headcanons

[☆] A/N | hii guys! i recently hit 500 likes on tumblr and i'm like so speechless... i never wouldve thought people would be interested in reading my stupid little writing hehe, so tysm! my long fic, most wanted, is coming to a close soon, and I have been working on another longfic that's a fem!reader insert x main 4 boys in college! i'm also probably going to write a more realistic/sadder headcanons, because this one was toothachingly sweet </3

[☆] C/W | NSFW under the cut, this is also for f!reader, but i'm open to writing a gn!reader or m!reader in the future

[☆] check out my !college au headcanons for the boys + butters here!

☆ stan marsh

hopeless romantic

will definitely do the most cheesy things for you

has a mixtape of songs that remind him of you

writes love letters, but never gives them to you

feels everything deeply, he's a big ol' baby

late night talks about his fears and dreams

craves emotional intimacy and trust w/ you

super duper attentive to your needs

will put you over himself

overthinks

enjoys laid-back dates! like movie dates, thrifting, strolls

gets jealous reallyyy easily

wont outright admit it tho

very insecure, if someone flirts with u, he'll just sulk LOL

avoids confrontations at all costs

not afraid to cry in front of you

vomits on you if you do something really provocative to him

always offer his jacket/hoodie to you

loves holding your hand

laces his fingers thru yours and swings your hands

goofy ah grin when you surprise him with kisses

big on cuddling

gets super flustered when his friends teases him about you

obsessed with your laugh

keeps a picture of you in his wallet

NSFW

sooo nervous during your first time with him

very eager to please!

takes his time learning what you like

kisses every inch of your body

starts with your lips and works his way down

definitely a soft dom

"does this feel good?" "tell me if you want me to stop"

loves holding your hand while in you

eats your p out like your his last meal

i think he would be more into receiving than giving, but doesn't mind giving at all!

gets shy when you compliment him and tell him how good he is making you feel

prefers gentle sex, unless you want it rough

his entire body flushes red when you tease his cock

like palming thru his shorts, or pressing quick kisses to his tip

loves to cum in your mouth

goes crazy if he gets to paint your face tho

i'm sorry but this man is into creampies...

gets turned on when you're really emotional/crying from him pleasuring you

favorite position is definitely cowgirl

definitely an ass man, loves squishing/pinching your skin

kisses your forehead, cheeks and lips after going down on you

i think he would also be kinda quiet, wouldn't let out that many moans

☆ kyle broflovski

shows his love thru actions rather than words

remembers every anniversary, even the little ones :)

makes detailed itineraries for dates

even though he's a yapper, he definitely enjoys listening to you

fiercely loyal

takes no disrespect towards you

ready to work anyone's shit as so much as they look at you funny

probably would like someone who would challenge him intellectually

needs you to have the same core values as him

DO NOT DO PDA WITH THIS MAN

he will just look at you with pure disgust if you even attempt to...

but will secretly hold hands under the table or sneak a kiss when no one is looking

puts too much pressure on himself to be perfect for you

always notices this little things about you

oh you changed your nail color? you applied your makeup differently?

will blush like crazy when you compliment him

awkwardly rubs the back of his neck

will get irrationally jealous

tries to hide it by cracking sarcastic jokes

writes you long thoughtful texts when your apart, updates you about his day, asks you how yours went

becomes super attentive when your sad or stressed

wraps you in a blanket, makes you tea

i feel like he'd hate the feeling of having a crush

but once he's in a relationship, lowkey a romantic, buy you books he'd think you'd like, jewelry that compliments your skin tone

NSFW

overthinks everything at first

constantly asks "is this okay? are you sure?"

like i said, super attentive, he needs to make sure you're okay

loves eye contact while fucking you

gets really shy when you take control but secretly loves it

prefers slow deliberate strokes and touches

has a thing for neck kisses– both giving and receiving

talks your through it

"you're perfect" "you feel so good"

gets competitive if you tease him about lasting longer

please kiss his freckles... he'll go absolutely feral

not afraid to leave hickeys, scratches or nail prints on you

wrap your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck and his life is yours LOL

i think missionary would be his favorite position

needs to see your face

it's his life mission to make you squirt...

loves fingering you

sit on his face ?

super embarrassed about his moans, but lets it out anyways lmfao

loves your titties, no matter the size

will beg you to let him cum in you

☆ kenny mccormick

we all know kenny is a natural flirt

will wink, smirk, and use cheesy pick-up lines to make you blush

loves physical affection

always has an arm around your waist

makes you laugh constantly

goes to extreme lengths to see you smile, whether it's his silly pranks or grand gestures

draws little hearts and doodles on your notebooks/texts

if he's super bored, he'll draw on your skin lmfao

super duper protective— he'll walk you home late at night and make sure you're always safe

loves taking you on adventurous dates, especially sneaking into places you're not supposed to be

calls you "babe," "sweetheart," or "princess" with that drawl of his hehe

not above embarrassing himself, will write cringe worthy poems or songs and serenade you

immediately notices when you're a little bit off

pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back

buys you little trinkets and steals snacks from eric, saying, "i saw this and thought of you!"

obsessed with kissing you, he'll lean in for a quick peck and smirks when he notices your smile

immediately goes back in for a longer kiss

i think he's super good at braiding hair, and loves playing with yours!

please wear his band tees <3

NSFW

super duper confident, definitely knows what he's doing

loves teasing you, using soft kisses and touches to drive you crazy before giving in

worships your body, tracing every curve with his lips and hands

like kyle, adores it when you take charge and being at your mercy

whispers dirty things in your ear, his voice low and sultry

"you're so fuckin' beautiful babe, I can't get enough of you."

VOCAL AS FUCK ! he'll groan, sigh, whisper your name, letting you know exactly how good you're making him feel

has a downright pornographic moan....

obviously a boob guy, he'll suck and manhandle your tits like there's no tomorrow

will cop a feel secretly infront of others as well LOL

also a thigh and neck guy—he'll kiss, nip, and mark you like he's marking a claim on you

definitely cums alot.... i'm sorry lmfao

dirty as fuck as well... spits in your mouth, puts his fingers in your mouth, making you suck him

taps his tip against your tongue, smearing his precum all over your lips

a big fan of sloppy toppy, grabbing your hair and face fucking you

he's tew good with his tongue... and so so messy when eating you out

will not hold back with his noises, literally slurping ???

loves loves loves overstimulation

favorite position is mating press, loves looking at where you guys connect

cusses when he cums

will crack some corny joke afterward to make you laugh,

"so... we're pretty good at this, huh?" and giggles like a schoolgirl

loves cuddling afterwards!

☆ eric cartman

definitely does grand gestures

brags to everyone about being in a relationship

"yeah, she's lucky to have me."

nobody believes that...

hates PDA in theory, but secretly loves it when you grab his hand or kiss his cheek

he'll complain, but his blushing face gives him away

sends you the most random memes and videos throughout the day as his way of saying he's thinking abt you <3

gets ridiculously competitive when it comes to impressing you

if someone else buys you flowers, he'll show up with a bouquet and stuffed animal, screaming profanities at the other person

jealousss to the max

glares daggers at everyone he perceives a threat, coming up with some sick and twisted plan is his head to take 'em down

gets super pouty when you tease him, but loves the banter between the two of you "i'm not fat, i'm big-boned and you know it!"

will absolutely demand you come over to "study", but in reality he just wants to spend time with you hehehe

has a soft spot when you baby him a little

like brushing his hair or adjusting his hoodie, he'll pretend to hate it but he's melting inside

if you're upset, he'll try to cheer you up in his own weird way...

usually a mix of crude jokes and awkward affection ??

please don't cry infront of him, he'll just panic

keeps a picture of you on his phone as his lock screen, and gets super defensive if anyone points it out

"shut up kahl! it's not even a big deal!"

gaslights the hell out of you, but eventually gives in when he realizes you'll just gaslight him back

will bring you up in any and every conversation, and doesn't care if it annoys the fuck out of his friends

proudly shows off your achievements and loudly declare that you're the bestest girlfriend in the world !

until you piss him off...

NSFW

talks a big game about being dominant and kinky

but he's secretly all about soft and sensual moments with you <3

loves loves loves being in control, rarely lets you take the lead

he needs to boost his ego somehow!

will grab your jaw to force you to look at him, his nails pressing hard into your cheeks

"awe, my poor baby is being fucked too dumb, can't even speak properly"

i'm sorry, but this man never shuts up in bed

whether it's dirty talk or low/breathy moans, he's always yapping

really mean too ):

depending on his mood, he'll either take you to pound town, or just veryy lazy sex

gets flustered if you tell him how good he's making you feel, and fails majorly covering it up

"well, duh. i'm amazing."

loves leaving hickeys—he'll mark you in places just barely hidden, so you're always reminded your his.

obsessed with the fat of your ass and tits, doesn't matter the size—he's all about kisses and touches

will 100% lose focus if you whisper in his ear

his cocky demeanor crumbles instantly, and he's completely at your mercy

gets embarrassed easily if you get too emotional, crying and pawing at his chest that you feel too good

this man does not own a single condom... he'll just pull out and paint your stomach

edges you when he's in a particularly bad mood, and only gives in when you're begging

definitely prefers receiving over giving, but likes the feeling of your walls clamping down on his fingers

asks you to stick out your tongue so he can see the load he blew LMFAOO WHY DID I WRITE THIS

i can't decide if he'd prefer doggy style or cowgirl, so ig just depends on his mood?

has a secret stash of candles or mood lighting for when things get "serious"

will deny deny deny it if anyone ever finds out.

his aftercare is surprisingly sweet— he'll tuck you in, grab snacks, and make sure you're comfortable before he starts pretending he doesn't care <3

☆ butters stotch

is THE definition of doting boyfriend

he'll write you sweet notes and hide them in your bag for you to find later

always asks for your opinion on everything

from what outfit he should wear to what movie the two of you should watch

he just wants to make you happy 😭

blushes like crazy when you compliment him, his hands fidgeting nervously as he stammers out a thank you

will call you every nickname under the sun

"sweet pie," "honeybunch," "cutie patootie"

he's so genuine it's impossible not to grab his cheeks and smile

loves holding hands—it makes him feel safe and connected to you

like stan, he'll swing your arms as you walk, grinning ear to ear

will apologize profusely for the tiniest things, even if it's not his fault

"oh, gosh, i’m sorry! did I step on your toe?"

keeps a running list of all your favorite things so he can surprise you with thoughtful gifts or dates!

if you're upset, he'll bake you cookies or cupcakes and sit with you until you feel better

"it's okay to cry, you know. i'm here."

absolutely adores cuddling, but gets super shy at first

once he's comfortable, he's wrapping you in the coziest of hugs

brings you flowers he picked from the campus quad, tied with a little ribbon

"i hope you like ‘em! i thought they were real purdy."

gets starry-eyed whenever you talk about your dreams or passions

he's your biggest cheerleader and believes you can do anything!

definitely giggles as you try to kiss all over his face

allows you to paint his nails, so you both can match

kisses your scratches/bruises whenever you get hurt, then patches you up himself

takes candid photos of you, so he'll always remember the feeling of moments with you <3

NSFW

don't let this man fool you...

he'll act all nervous and shy at first

he'll blush bright red when you undress in front of him

he'll nervously kiss every inch of your skin, murmuring soft compliments as he goes

he'll shyly ask, "is it okay if i touch you there?"

like he's not about to have you begging for him to keep going

once he realizes how much you're into it, he flips a switch

suddenly his shy little kisses turn into biting your lip

pinning you down

murmuring in a low voice, "i'll take care of you, baby"

he'll start slow, watching you squirm under his touch

but he's secretly enjoying the power of making you lose control

SLEEPER AGENT OF KINK

you think he's all soft neck kisses and hand-holding

then he's tugging your hair, love bites on your shoulder

and growling in your ear, "you like that, don't you?"

his hands, his mouth, and his cock alternate between gentle and rough to keep you on edge <3

the moans he'll let out would be so loud and unrestrained

completely enamored with your body

big fan of overstimulation

thrives on praise

eager to learn as well!!

positions where he can see everything—your expressions, your body, the way you react to his touch—drive him wild

not afraid to try something new!

and when it's all over, he's right back to his soft and sweet self

kissing your forehead and pulling you into his arms like he wasn't doing unspeakable things to you five minutes ago.

can you still guess who my favorite is... 💀 also i'm so sorry for whatever this was

[pix-writes]

Stanley Pines relationship HCs

(stan pines x reader), I hc Stanley to be dyslexic, yet another bit of writing about old guys getting to be freaky so 18+ below!

tho surprisingly fluffy at times, I just think this guy needs a good hug.

At first I think Stan would flirt with that rather brash confidence of his pick up artist/con man persona with you in the beginning, espeically turns to joking if you are choosing to riff/banter (whatever you want to call it) in response to his cheeky remarks. He likes to know he's met his match with a person who's not afraid to put him in his place!

But when he actually knows he's falling for someone then I think he would actually be more reserved, shy even, though it's not always outwardly obvious. If you are (or he thinks you are) talking to/got the hots for someone else he'll be even more withdrawn and gruff with you than he is usually.

I think that it's likely you get together after a series of awkward and/or funny scenarios/converations, like "What are you waiting for a kiss on the cheek?" "Yes, actually." "Can it, smartass!" ... ... "WAIT... What?!" "What?!!" 😳 type deal. Mabel has probably also caught on and is trying to put you in matchmaking situations.

Whilst both the stans are protective over their partners, Stanley is the more... possessive one, mostly in a good way: he wants to provide for you so that you're taken care of, he may not have much but he wants to know that you have less to worry about than him. Does NOT share, can enjoy showing you off and people looking but they can't touch!

He's lives a mostly independent life, so I can see him getting with someone equally (or more) independent and whilst that can reduce some of his worries, cause he knows you can look after yourself, he also still worries! 😅 and he wants to feel needed by a partner, so you might need to let him take the lead or do things/roles in your shared life for you, even if its just something mundane. Like, if you're shorter than him, he will do petty things like putting stuff out of your reach so you have to ask for his help (even if you try to do it for yourself will reach for it before you... Will also put a hand on your ass when he does it 😂).

Realises (subconsciously at least) that you help releive some of the burdens off of him as well. That said, definitely let him do everything for you when you go on dates (after the first one, where you put up a virtuous protest about paying for yourself), he's an old fashioned, almost-chivalric romantic at heart. He'd never admit to being sappy though and states that its simply 'the way to do things' or 'I'm just taking care of my girl'.

The rest of the Pines family realises when he's serious about you because that's when he won't spare on gifts for you. They don't have to be (and probably won't be) super expensive, he'll pick you up little things as well, a wilty bunch of discounted flowers from the store happens to appear sporadically yet often in the mystery shack, saying something a little flirty about how you can make them perk up (the sap!), and you can roll your eyes or quip back at him all you want but he sees how much you appreicate them, which makes up for the times he can be a bit more careless or in a grumpy mood.

Underneath all that confident persona is quite a bit of insecurity, that's not to say that all of his confidence is false, but he definitley has some old self worth/belief issues. Will often wonder what you're doing 'with an old man like him' (no matter if you're the same age or what) especially in the beginning of the relationship. The good thing is that he's susceptible to your compliments ;) and he's often stunned that someone he finds so beautiful is with him and will tell you at the most random times that he's a 'lucky guy' or that he's 'hit the jackpot', like you can be in bed in the rattiest stained t shirt, hair in rags, face mask on, haven't brushed your teeth, doing a crossword puzzle in bed, whatever, and he'll say something along those lines or about how beautiful you are to which you can either a) think he's joking and laugh/say something witty in return, or b) say "what even when I'm (insert something seen as unattractive here)?" Please know that he is SO serious when he says this.

The downside is that whilst stan has made leaps and bounds of improvements to taking care of himself, espeically when he knew the twins were coming for the summer and post-weirdmageddon (since he doesn't have to worry about the portal anymore), he still has a lot of filthy habits! He can be lazy and want to be in comfy clothes rather than a suit all the time, sure, that's fine, but what can really drive a partner crazy is the nail clippings on the floor or the hair clogged up drains in the bathroom and not cleaning up after himself properly! He honestly shouldn't be surprised that this is one of the things you can argue about regularly, old married couple style (he's been divorced enough times to learn this before and yet here you are! ^^')

Stanley Pines is Stubborn with a capital S and so there's some things he's not willing to change, but there will be some things he knows are important to you that he'll try to make progress towards, he'll also go towards taking even more care of himself in different ways, too, since he wants to spend the best amount of time that he can with you and his family.

Keeps photos of you dipper and mabel in his wallet. Considers the twins, wendy and Soos the kids you never had, so he's gotten over all the 'what could've beens' that used to make him sad before.

Will teach you some good boxing moves and punches for sure, even if you do know how to defend yourself. And takes you fishing and will teach you a bunch of practical things, if you ask him to show you he'll be over the moon!

Will preen so much when you praise him or acknowledge his achievements, actually was holding back tears when you said you were proud of him for getting his qualifications (after he spent so long without a HS degree/equivalent). Through working on the portal is SO smart, an equally skilled sailor and navigator etc etc as Ford, may not have the same methods of working stuff out as his brother but acutally knows a lot of disparate things, engineering, mechanics, physics, fishing, wierd loopholes in laws in different states and so on! Once weirdmageddon and the loss of memory has passed, Ford is genuinely touched by Stan's knowledge - a reminder of what he went through to get him back - as well as thrilled to speak to him on subjects that he never expected to share with his twin.

If he was asked whether he's a tits or ass man, he would say both, but honestly, he really loves thighs, I think he has a big attraction to curvy women in particular, but he would love his partner no matter what size/shape/gender (he's definitely bi, just more leaning towards hetero on the kinsey scale in my mind).

Stan is a menace when it comes to teasing, he's made an art form out of riling you up, loves when you get feisty with him. If you're bratty and push his buttons though, he'll give you time to run 🫠 will he give you a fair countdown or skip some of it? Depends on how generous he's feeling, so you better not stick around! Game for getting a little freaky, has a pair of handcuffs for this very reason, likes to be in charge but wouldn't mind being 'arrested' if it's by you 😉 (you can depend upon it that he knows how to escape them at any time though).

Total goof when he's relaxed, it's like being with a best friend, just be willing to get roasted on occasion (lovingly). You both watch ducktective and period dramas together, though he'll swear he's not into the latter - until he starts a running commentary on the plot.

[momongasshop]

SP characters with a Reader that is sensitive/soft-hearted<3

Stan❤️:

• Also considers himself to be soft-hearted at times, so he isn’t one to hold it against you too much, but if you’re too sensitive to the point you take everything, even light-hearted jokes, too seriously, he might become a little frustrated with you

• He will not ever tell you upfront that your sensitivity or soft-hearted nature frustrates him, but if you ask what is upsetting him, he will tell you, very reluctantly, though (He doesn’t hate this personality trait of yours, but he can find it annoying or frustrating depending on what is going on)

• There was once a time he brought you around his friends, and Cartman upset you to the point you cried; never again will he bring you around the guys if Cartman is there

• Even when your sensitivity can be “too much” for him, he really does appreciate how in tune with your feelings you are; you both can have deep conversations without him feeling “weak” or “weird” (It will take time for him to open up about certain topics, but at least he is willing to do so)

• Yeah, he is definitely going to go to you about everything that upsets him or makes him feel off, especially if he is upset about his parents or his friends; you just understand him

• Overall, he is right in the middle, not too bad but not the best, BUT at least he puts a lot of trust in you and can learn to appreciate this trait of yours (I mean, looking at his track record, he would go for someone a bit “tougher” so having someone like you might throw him off at first)

Kyle💚:

• He loves, and I mean loves, that you’re a more soft-hearted and sensitive person (He would be into the whole “opposites attract” trope, and plus, his track record is mostly girls who are “softer,” so it makes sense he would be into this personality trait the most out of this whole list)

• If you find a dead bird in your backyard and want to cry about it, he is your guy, he would be the type to try and give you a piece of reality by telling you how it’s the circle of life but also to comfort you and tell you how the bird is probably eating all the birdseed they want in heaven

• His friends are most likely not going to be too hard on you IF Kyle warns them ahead of time that you’re more sensitive and will take certain jokes to heart (Except Cartman, he won’t care, so don’t even think about trying to be buddies with him)

• Will make sure to keep a mental memory of the types of things that upset you or make you uncomfortable, especially if it’s things his friends say or do

• When it comes to getting angry or frustrated at you because of your sensitive/soft-hearted nature, he doesn’t really get angry or frustrated, maybe annoyed, but only if he has been having a bad day or something is already bugging him (Hopefully, you can share a little bit of that sensitivity and show some compassion when it comes to times like that)

• Overall, he is the “best” on this list just because he probably pursued you for this softness/sensitive nature you have

Cartman💛:

• Honestly, he is not the kindest person, but he isn’t a complete dickhead (Well, kinda); he likes you for a reason, and that reason is your soft heart; who knew he would be into the opposites attract troupe as well

• Is he going to make fun of you, yes, will let other people make fun of you; absolutely not; he is the type to be like, “You’re such a pussy, stop acting like that,” and if anyone agrees, he is coming for their throat (Bullying you is only cool if it’s him doing it)

• He is more sensitive than he lets on, even if it’s mostly for manipulation purposes; he will at least acknowledge your ways are different than his and possibly open up to you; most of his stories are not sad or deep; most are just confessions of his crimes (Hehe like the chili incident)

• Definitely going to get frustrated with you and sometimes gets angry and call you a “pussy” or a “whiny bitch”, but he will bring you sweets or a drink of your choice to make it up to you, and maybe if he thinks he hurt your feelings really bad, he will give you a hug

• Speaking of hurting your feelings, he is going to do that on more than one occasion, but with time, he will learn what tics you off and what doesn’t, maybe he will be nice, but maybe he will use what makes you upset against you so he can get his way, who really knows it’s Cartman

• Overall, he is the worst on this list when it comes to having a reader that is soft-hearted or sensitive; hopefully, you’re into mean dudes, though, because if so, he is perfect for you (Sorry if this dragged Cartman, but let’s be real, he would want someone who is a carbon copy of himself)

Kenny🧡:

• If he can deal with Butters and Cartman, he can deal with you but may find you annoying sometimes, especially if it’s something simple upsetting you (This is meant to be in the nicest way possible; being sensitive and soft-hearted is not a bad trait to him) 

• He doesn’t even attempt to talk about you to his friends; instead, he will keep everything more private, mostly because he doesn’t want Cartman to pick on you

• Will love it when you want to know more about him; his own friends don’t even bother to really listen about his likes and dislikes and other personal details about his life, so to have someone be interested in him means a lot

• When he died in front of you for the first time, it ruined you, but then you saw him the next morning, hmm how strange, maybe you’re just imagining things (Maybe it was fate your two were supposed to be together for this reason, how sweet)

• Because of how you can remember him dying, he will definitely be more open with you and even talk about how he has died in the past and how almost everyone doesn’t remember; it’s almost therapeutic for him and probably means a lot that he can finally get all of it off his chest

• Overall, he is one of the better ones when it comes to being with a sensitive/soft-hearted reader; he really does care for you and is willing to adapt to your softer nature

Butters🩵:

• Another KINDA-sensitive dude, he does hang around Cartman, though, and is easily manipulated, so the first time he sees you getting overly sensitive or “too soft,” he might poke fun at you with a bad joke

• BUT will definitely say he is sorry and try to make it up to you with a small gift or do you a favor if he hurts your feelings more than he anticipated

• You also have to get used to Butters and his trauma dumping, which is usually when he shows his sensitivity and vulnerability the most, but Butters is more open with this trait of his; it’s not that he wants everyone to know his business, it just slips out (BUT with your sensitive ass you will be all up on him asking if he needs anything or if he wants to talk, you might even shed a few tears if he tells you the worst his parents have done to him)

• Speaking of Butters parents, they probably really like you and think you’re a much better influence on him than his usual friends, but (There is always a but) they might think you’re rubbing off on him if he acts too soft and encourage him to be more manly

• He never gets overly angry with you, maybe a little frustrated at times, but only if you’re sad or overwhelmed for what seems like no reason

• Overall, he is pretty good, but the comments from his parents, Cartman, and even his own insecurities might keep him from welcoming you fully (Don’t worry, though; he will eventually come around and learn to enjoy your softness)

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

It’s probably my love of horror and messed up sibling relationships, but I have to wonder how Dark! Ford would approach Shapeshifter! Stan.

I mean, seeing as Stan can escape pretty much most physical cages through shape shifting, I imagine Ford would have to rely on magic, or even the whole emotional mess of being Stan’s most important person.

Which is an interesting dynamic to me lol.

My first thought on Dark Ford Shapeshifter Stan is looney toon ass shenanigans. Think road runner and Wile E. Coyote, where Stan's road running his way through the apocalypse and Ford's desperately trying to catch him both from 'my precious little brother Stan i need to protect' and also 'wtf Stan was a real life shapeshifter and i thought it was a joke? I need to live out all our childhood hypotheticals stat'

Second, more serious thought, is that it would be huge mess on both sides. Stan's moping in his room eating valentines day chocolate when the world ends, and a wave of weirdness rolls through the world. A demon's in charge of the dimension now non stop partying through the planet, and one of his henchmaniacs is looking for Stanley Pines with a picture of Ford on a bunch of billboards saying 'looks like this' with a reward and everything. The reward is 'you get to live' and people are all for it.

Except Stan doesn't look like that, and never will. He has no idea why this random demon is looking for his base form, all he knows is he has to get to jersey stat and save his family. Except when he gets there his family is gone (Ford got there first). So now he's just, cutting loose in the apocalypse. Doesn't need to blend in anymore and now dozens of shapeshifters are seeking him out to learn how to shift like he does. Super depressed at the lose of his base and human family but at least shapeshifters want to hang out with him now?

I imagine it'd be a few weeks before Ford finally got frustrated about his lack of progress on finding his 'human' brother and went to Bill for help, then used his abilities to learn that Stan was a shapeshifter, was always a shapeshifter, and exactly where he was (no need to hide after all, he's not Stanley Pines anymore, and shapeshifters are becoming more dangerous now that they don't have to fit into human society). He'd go from rage (Stan was a shapeshifter this whole time!) to embarrassment (Stan told me he was a shapeshifter and i thought he was joking) to an even stronger need to have him (Stan's a shapeshifter and thought i was super important because i am. I'm important to him, just like he's important to me, and we should always be together. The fact that he has this power means i dont have to worry about him as much). In a way he's almost more possessive of this Stan then normal Dark Ford, because he knows exactly how Stan viewed him (I'm his most important person, and he's mine. mine. MINE!)

It.. wouldnt end great. Stan's thrilled to see Ford healthy and alive, eager to come with him and expressing how sorry he is. But the moment he admits he can't mimic Ford as an adult Ford gets.. weird. Stan's his brother. They should look alike. Why can't Stan just be him and fix it? He's a shapeshifter isnt he, just shift! Doesnt understand Stan's reasoning that while he can look like adult Stan Pines, he doesnt feel like adult Stan Pines. It feels fake, forced, like he's acting and not really himself. Since Ford trusts Stan to take care of himself more than human Stan, he 100% uses emotional manipulation to keep Stan with him to try and 'fix' him, but also gets weird mad scientist and pushes Stan to shift more and more. They're brothers. Twin brothers. They should look the part, and Ford wont leave Stan behind ever again, and doesnt Stan want to stay and 'fix' what they were? Maybe all Stan has to do is never leave Ford's side ever again and eventually he'll feel like himself :)

So Stan's getting hit with a lot of red flags on Ford's possessive behavior, but he was also conditioned to think of Ford as someone important and to stick with him to learn. Logically he knows Ford's just a important person and not 'the most important person on the planet', but throughout their childhood they only had each other, and he leaned on Ford harder than most shifters would. So even though Ford's behavior screams 'get far, far away' he can't help but stick around and try to be the adult Stan Pines that Ford wants. Just telling himself over and over to stick with it until it feels real, and ignore the parts that tell him he's falling into a trap. that a bad guys got him, and is going to take him away. Becoming more of Ford's personal shifter, and not his brother.

Shifty would not be helping in this situation, as here he'd be an awful combination of Ford's son and pet. Ford loves Shifty very much, so wont he do everything Ford asks? Just like Uncle Stanley does :)

[im-so-normal-iswear]

Hi!! I love your writing!! Would it be possible for your thoughts on Ford/stan with a girlfriend who is a therapist or psychiatrist? (I’m studying psychology so this is a totally self indulgent ask!) thank you!! 🫶🏼

A/n: Ok! I'm sorry these took long

Stan/Ford pines x therapist!reader

Ford Pines:

Ford is instantly intrigued by your profession. He’s always been interested in how the human brain works, and having a girlfriend who understands the mind on such a deep level excites his curiosity.

He loves asking you questions about psychology, sometimes treating your discussions like he’s learning from a textbook.

“So, if someone were to experience prolonged exposure to isolation, how do you think that would affect their psyche?”

Ford absolutely loves to hear your insights on everything from mental health to obscure psychological theories, often adding his own knowledge of psychology.

Ford greatly values your calming presence. As someone who has gone through trauma from his interdimensional travels, Ford finds comfort in how you can guide him through his anxieties and ground him during his moments of overthinking. It’s not that he’s asking for therapy, but the way you talk and listen to him brings him a lot of peace.

Sometimes Ford gets lost in his head, overanalyzing everything or diving too deep into his research, and you’re the one who pulls him back. You know just how to approach his worries without invalidating them, and he’s beyond grateful for that.

“You always know exactly what to say to bring me back to reality. How do you do it?”

He’s particularly interested in your take on the psychological impact of interdimensional travel or exposure to anomalous phenomena.

He’ll often turn to you for discussions about the mind’s adaptability and resilience. You’ve become his go-to person for talking about the human condition in the context of the strange.

Ford is also incredibly supportive of your career and education. If you’re studying or need quiet time to work, he’ll make sure you have the perfect environment to focus. He’s always ready to offer encouragement when you’re feeling stressed.

“I know it’s a lot, but if anyone can do this, it’s you. I’ve never seen someone so dedicated to understanding the complexities of the mind.”

Ford loves sharing intellectual moments with you, like reading papers or discussing recent psychological studies. Sometimes, he even helps you with your work by giving you unique perspectives from his travels, and in turn, you help him manage the more stressful parts of his past.

Stan Pines:

Stan doesn’t fully get what a therapist or psychiatrist does at first (he’s used to handling things by “toughing it out”) but he quickly comes to appreciate how insightful you are.

“So, you talk to people about their problems? Gotta hand it to ya, you’ve got a lot of patience. I can barely deal with the customers.”

Stan is amazed at how you can listen to other people’s issues all day and still come home well. He’s constantly in awe of how much you care for others and how you help people through their darkest moments.

“You’ve gotta be some kinda saint to listen to people’s problems all day and not go crazy yourself.”

He loves that you don’t push him to talk, but when he does, you listen attentively. You’ve taught him that it’s okay to share his feelings without making him feel weak. Sometimes he’s caught off guard by how much better he feels after talking to you.

“Huh, I guess it’s not so bad… all this feelings stuff. You really know how to make a guy feel better.”

Stan appreciates your ability to see through his tough-guy act. You can read him like a book, and while it’s a little intimidating, it’s also a relief. You pick up on the small things, like when he’s more stressed than usual or when something’s bothering him.

“How do you always know what’s goin’ on in my head? It’s like you’re a mind reader or somethin’. Say how bout we put that to use in the shack? I'm joking, unless you want to.”

He loves to brag about your career, even if he doesn’t always understand it.

“Yeah, my girl’s a therapist. Helps people sort out their problems. She’s smart as hell. I dunno how she does it, but it’s pretty impressive.”

If you’re ever feeling overwhelmed by your work, Stan is the first to encourage you to take a break. He might not know all the details of your job, but he knows how important it is for you to recharge. He’ll pull you away from your books or laptop and suggest watching a movie or doing something fun together.

“You’ve been workin’ hard all day. Come on, let’s kick back and relax. You deserve it.”

He’s a little protective of you, especially if you’ve had a rough day. If you come home stressed after dealing with a difficult client, Stan will be there to comfort you in his own way, whether that’s making you laugh, cooking a simple meal, or just sitting beside you.

Stan will occasionally ask for advice, though he’ll frame it casually. “So, let’s say someone I know has a lotta stuff from their past they don’t like talkin’ about. What’d you say to help ‘em out?” He trusts you more than he’ll admit and values your wisdom, even if he’s not always ready to face his own feelings head-on.

A/n: you give them therapy they need, the end ^^

[itspbandjellytime]

The Assistant [Hailee Steinfeld x Reader] - Chapter 4

Plot: Y/N Waldorf is fresh out of college and her first job is being Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant, but what Y/N doesn't know is that Hailee is hiding a huge secret from the general public and from her, as her assistant.

Notes: This is a multi-chapter fic, you can also read this on wattpad under the same username "itspbandjellytime". This fanfic is also going to contain NSFW themes in the near future, so if you're under the age of 18 please don't read this. Thank you!

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3

A/N

Hi... I am NOT dead, I have been going through a lot lately but don't worry, I am okay am just busy with other stuff. Also this chapter contains smut, please read at your own risk <3 Okay thanks for reading!

Word count: 3.1k words

[Y/N POV]

It's been a week or two since I moved in with Hailee and so far it's going well, we are starting to get to know each other more outside of work as if we're now bestfriends. So far I am enjoying this job, however I still can't get the room that's in that dark hallway and whatever lies in that room. I keep on thinking about it, every time I head upstairs or downstairs to grab myself a glass of water to the point I start to stir up different conspiracy theories only lunatics online can believe. 

Today is also my day off, which means I get to catch up with Jackie. Jackie and I met up at a restaurant somewhere in downtown LA, and I told her everything, yes including the room.

"Wait, so there's another room?" Jackie asks, grabbing a bite off her burger. I nod in response, bouncing my leg up and down  "Yep, I don't know what's in there and I don't want to know what's in there even though I make weird conspiracy theories to myself about what's in there." I said, scrolling through my phone. 

"Maybe it's her album?" Jackie said jokingly and we burst out in laughter, I shook my head and sighed "I wish, if it was her album I'd be leaking that in an instant... As a joke!" I said, nervously chuckling as I look around my surrounding hopefully people do not know that I work for Hailee Steinfeld. "But enough of that, how's Hailee treating you tho? I bet she's treating you like a queen or something." Jackie says, a smile forming on her face as she leans forward.

My face turns red smiling at Jackie, she's not wrong Hailee does spoil me like crazy as if I am not her personal assistant. Yesterday, while we were out and about after a meeting, she took me shopping and I saw the pair of designer shades I've wanted for so long but I couldn't buy it because it's expensive as hell. But Hailee at the end bought me the pair of designer shades that I've been visioning for quite sometime now.

"Well you're not wrong, she does spoil me like crazy." I say, I pulled out the pair of shades that she bought me and showed it off to Jackie. "She bought these for me yesterday." I giggled, putting them on. Jackie gasps knowing that it's the sunglasses I've always wanted since we we're teenagers on stan twitter. "Oh my god, it's the sunglasses you wanted!" Jackie exclaims, admiring every nook and cranny of the sunglasses on my face. All I can do is laugh and nod "I know right?" I responded, putting the sunglasses away.

"Those sunglasses suit you!" Jackie compliments the way the sunglasses suit my face and takes a sip of water, we were both silent for ten seconds and Jackie as always breaks the dead air between us.

"Are you sure Hailee isn't like... Making any moves on you?" Jackie asks, my face turns redder than the tomato sauce of the dish I am having.

"Oh Jackie... You are feeding me into my delusions once again." I laugh, rolling my eyes. Way before I got this job, Jackie and a bunch of our old twitter mutuals used to poke fun of me in a friendly manner about how much of a simp I am for Hailee and as Jackie's friend, I fire back all the time.

"I am being serious, I am not feeding into your delusions Y/N/N. She has been spoiling you left and right, you live in her house, she bought the shades you've wanted, she is making the moves on you." Jackie says to me, I roll my eyes and sighed. "Well if she was making the moves on me then I am now The President of the United States." I said, smiling as I call the waiter for the bill, Jackie smirks and shakes her head and we continue to talk as the day ends.

Hours later, I am back at Hailee's place. I just finished brushing my teeth and I am getting ready for bed, I glance at the room that's in the deep hallway. I start to get second thoughts about me trying to find what lies behind that door, or me keeping my job and not fucking shit up between Hailee and I.

I check my surroundings if Hailee is around and then I look at the room, I slowly and surely take a step closer and reach for the door knob. My legs start shaking, the palms of my hand start to form sweat, and my heart starts to beat like crazy.

"Y/N?" A voice called out to me, I turned around to see Hailee behind me. I dropped my hand down and faced her properly, wiping the sweat off my hands and nervously smile.

"Hailee, Hi!" I greeted her, nervously smiling at her "Quick question, what's in this room?" I asked her. It was a very straightforward move but I was so curious, Hailee looks at the door and furrows her brows and looks back to me.

"It's just a storage room, very boring stuff there. Nothing interesting." Hailee says nonchalantly as if it's not bothering her just one bit, all of the chaos in my brain stopped for a bit and it felt like the skies cleared in my brain.

"Oh! I see, it looks very creepy from my end that's all and I was just super curious what lies behind that door." I said, Hailee laughs and pats my shoulder giving it a squeeze.

"It's nothing, Y/N. Now you go get some rest, we got important things to discuss tomorrow, work related." Hailee says, being serious this time around and walks away from me. I didn't say a word and just nodded, cause if I speak the conversation will last for a life time. I glanced at the door and then left and went back to my room.

Three o'clock am, hours later.

I opened my eyes, my throat was dry and I start to cough. I am feeling a little thirsty and I want to drink a glass of water, cause who hasn't had that moment when you wake up in the middle of the night and you want to drink a glass of water.

I got out of bed and left my room, heading downstairs to grab a glass of water. As I walk down the halls of her house again, my eyes dart the room in the dark hallway and I noticed something. The door is barely open and I can see light coming out, the light is red. 

Wait... No... What the fuck? This better be a prank. I swallowed hard and reached for the door, slowly opening it. I gasped at what I saw, I couldn't believe my eyes "What the hell." I whispered to myself as I slowly make my way inside the room. The room looks like it's from those fifty shades of grey movies, it had ropes and chains. This made me freeze, could this be Hailee's secret? The secret that she's been hiding from the general public? Jackie probably might be right all along, God I am so oblivious- But I don't care I am still  standing for what I said and at the same time shocked.

"Y/N." I heard Hailee's voice, it sounds so stern and serious. I can tell that my job is on the line with this one, I turned around and saw Hailee in an oversized Daytona shirt leaning against the door frame. "Hailee, I can explain." I said as I put my hands up as if I was caught by the authorities. Oh god this is it... I am gonna lose my job, Hailee didn't say a word she just closed the door behind her and walked up to me.

"I think I should be the one who needs to do the explaining." Hailee tells me, putting my hands down Hailee takes a deep breath and looks into my Y/E/C colored eyes in a very sincere and serious manner. 

"I know that this is shocking to you but yes... This is what's inside the room in the dark hallway. I know that this isn't typically what you'd see from someone like me but yeah... This is the secret I have been hiding from people like my friends and family." Hailee explains with sincerity in her eyes, all I can do now is just listen to her explanation. I though the secret in question was something  very controversial, but this... This isn't even controversial or anything. "Y/N, I totally understand if you seeing this will make you change the way you think about me and if you want to quit your job I understand-"

"Hailee." I said, finally speaking up after she explained everything. "I didn't know that you'd be into this." I continued, looking at the array of whips, collars, and cuffs on the wall and back to her. "Do you do this with anyone or?" I ask her. 

Hailee simply shook her head "No, I haven't." Hailee admits to me, she pulls me in close to her our faces inches away from each other. "I haven't..." Hailee repeats, moving a strand of hair away from my face. My heart starts to beat like crazy already, I am stuck and frozen and all I can do is nod "And I want to do this with you first..." Hailee admits once again. 

"Do you trust me, Y/N?" Hailee asks me, the silence in the room is loud and the only thing I can hear is her breathing and my heartbeat. I don't know what to say at this point and at the same time I want to do it, so I responded to Hailee's question by nodding.

"No, sweetie... I want you to say it... Use your words." Hailee says, this time she caresses my cheek. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes shut, and cleared my throat "Y-yes..." I responded. A smirk forms on Hailee's face hearing that one word come out of my mouth "Good girl." She whispered, pulling me in for a heated kiss.

The way her lips crashed against mine made me melt, it felt like an out-of-body experience for me. I gave in and kissed her back, letting out moans between the kiss as Hailee deepened the kiss. She chuckles between the kiss, running her hands down my body as she pulls me closer to her "You are so responsive Y/N." Hailee mutters, trailing kisses down from my jawline to my neck. I let out a moan as I felt Hailee slide her hand inside my shirt, caressing my bare skin,

"Can I?" Hailee asks me, tugging the hem of my shirt. 

"Please." I begged.

Hailee smirked, she then proceeded to take my shirt off, so it was just me and my pajama pants "God you're so breathtaking... You look like a Goddess..." Hailee praises, grabbing a hold of my breasts and giving them a gentle squeeze making me moan. Hailee smirks at my response as she kisses my neck, kneading my breasts "I love how responsive you get when I touch you, Y/N." Hailee mutters as she pins me down the bed, her grip on my wrist isn't firm but is sure to hold me down. She gets on top of me and starts to straddle me, she reaches for the cuffs on her bedside drawer putting them on me "Is this okay?" Hailee asks as she adjusts the tightness of the cuffs on me "I want you to be honest with me, okay? I don't want to do things you're not comfortable with, darling." Hailee says once again, reassuring me. 

I look up at her and nod in response "Yes." I say, feeling comfortable with the grip of the cuffs, feeling the cool metal against my skin.

"Good girl..." Hailee nods, kissing my lips once again and then her lips trailed down from my lips, to my neck, down to my chest. She takes one of my nipples and sucks on it, swirling her tongue around it making me gasp and moan as I feel a familiar heat forming between my legs "Oh God..." I quietly moaned feeling her tongue on my nipples, Hailee looked up at me as she runs her fingers on the waistband of my pajama pants "Please, Hailee..." I begged, fully surrendering to her.

Hailee pulls down my pants and underwear in one go, tossing it aside along with the pile of clothes on the floor. Hailee looks down and bites her lower lip seeing the sight of my wet core "You're already wet, Y/N." Hailee says, stripping her clothing in front of my eyes and showing off those nice abs she has.  She spreads my legs open, caressing my inner thighs making me whimper "Whats your safe word?" She asks, lowering herself between my legs.

"Safe word?" I ask her back.

"Yeah, give me your safe word..." Hailee responds, I know a thing or two about safe words thanks to mistakenly reading a paragraph from Fifty Shades of Grey at a Barnes and Noble. 

I just look into her eyes and I swallow hard "Lamp post." I said, I didn't know what safe word to tell Hailee but thats my safe word. Hailee chuckles and looks at me again "Lamp post it is, just relax okay? It's just you and me..." Hailee says in a reassuring tone, kissing my inner thighs.

I let out a sharp gasp as Hailee's tongue licked my wet folds up and down, those gasps turned into moans and whimpers that echoed around the bedroom. The way Hailee's tongue moves is a whole other level, making me moan more and more "Hailee... Oh fuck... Y-yes..." I moan out, rocking my hips back and forth for more pressure.

"Y/N, you taste so good... Where have you been all my life?" Hailee mutters, sliding two fingers in and out of my entrance as her tongue flicks my clit making me moan more and crave her more and more. "Hailee.. Please... d-don't stop..." I moan out, Hailee smirks as she picks up her pace to the point I am squirming under the sheet of the bed.

"You like that? How does it feel to be used like this?" Hailee asks, curling her fingers inside me as she kisses my neck, picking up the pace of her fingers inside my wet heat. All I can do is just nod, I can't form any words on how I am lost in the pleasure of her fingers "Y-yes... It feels so good..." I manage to respond, looking into her hazel eyes underneath the red light of the room. 

Sweat starts to drip down my forehead, my body is glistening in sweat as well as Hailee continues to finger me. I can feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge already, my walls start to tighten around her fingers each thrust Hailee makes.

"Hailee... I'm close..." I said, letting out a series of whimpers and moans, Hailee leans closer into my ear, nibbling on it "Thats what I want to hear... Cum for me y/n..." Hailee whispers.

I arched my back, letting out a gutteral moan and screaming Hailee's name out in pleasure. My whole body starts to shake and tremble due to the amount of pleasure Hailee has given to me, Hailee looks at me and slowly pulls her fingers out of my entrance.

Her fingers are coated in my juices and she takes them in her mouth sucking them clean, letting out a satisfied moan "Y/N... You taste so good..." Hailee says, pressing her lips against mine as I taste myself on her tongue. "But I am not done with you just yet, darling," Hailee says.

I watch her get off the bed and retrieve a strap-on from her closet which made my eyes widen in shock, Hailee smirks at me as she teases my folds with the tip of the strap-on "Have you ever been fucked with a strap-on before?" She asks me. 

I respond with shaking my head "N-no..." I said, my face all red and flustered which made Hailee chuckle. "You're so adorable, Y/N. Just relax... You'll probably love it." Hailee says, I let out a gasp feeling the girth of the strap-on inside me making my eyes roll back.

"So tight..." Hailee whispers, she starts to move her hips back and forth slowly but surely making me let out more whimpers and moans. I turn away to stiffle out my loud moans but Hailee gently grabs my face, looking into my eyes as she picks up the pace "That's it, baby... Look at me... God you're so sexy whimpering and moaning for me..." Hailee says, pulling me in for another heated and passionate kiss, hitting my sweet spot repetitively making me moan between the kiss.

I can feel myself getting close once again, my heart rate starts to go insane as she continues to thrust in and out of me "H-Hailee..." I whimpered out as my walls tighten around the strap-on "I'm gonna- I- I can't..." I manage to say. My eyes widened as I climax for the second time tonight, I start to pant and shake due to the intensity and amount of pleasure Hailee has given me. Good thing she is very gentle and started to slow down her pace, Hailee kisses my neck and jawline as her movements start to slow down "Shhh..... It's okay.... You did so well, y/n...." She praises me slowly pulling the strap-on out of my wet core, removing it and tossing it aside. Hailee then takes the handcuffs off of me and I can finally move my arms and wrists.

Hailee then lies down next to me "Come here." Hailee says, gesturing for me to come a little bit closer. I move a little closer to her and she pulls the sheets up to cover our naked bodies, she wraps an arm around me and we look at each other for a while "How do you feel?" She asks me. It took me a second to respond and collect my thoughts, I just cant believe that I just had sex with my boss but not just any boss, it's Hailee Steinfeld we're talking about here.

"I... It just felt like... like..."

"Like a volcano?" Hailee asks me, a smirk forming on her face. God this woman...

I chuckle in response, nodding at Hailee's statement "Yeah... Like a volcano..." Hailee and I stayed like this for a while, she drifted to sleep and I just looked at her and I followed suite, resting my head on her chest feeling her heart beat.

[positivelyholland]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write something with Sebastian Stan x Daughter!Reader where Sebastian brings her to work with him

Magic of Movies

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x teen!daughter!reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: i suck at summaries but its just exactly what the request says lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bright Los Angeles sun is already high in the sky when your dad drives through the studio gates. The bustling world of a movie set awaits you, and you can’t help but feel a flutter of excitement mixed with a hint of nervousness.

As you pull up to the lot, you notice a mix of trailers, equipment trucks, and crew members moving purposefully around. The air buzzes with energy and anticipation. Sebastian parks the car and turns to you, a warm smile on his face.

“You ready for this, kiddo?” he asks, his blue eyes twinkling with excitement.

You nod eagerly. “Definitely. This is so cool, Dad!”

He laughs and ruffles your hair. “I’m glad you think so. Just remember, it can get a bit chaotic, but it’s all part of the magic.”

You step out of the car and follow him, taking in everything around you. The set is like a miniature city, with people rushing to and fro, each person focused on their specific task. You see camera crews setting up equipment, costume designers fussing over outfits, and actors going over their lines. It’s a whirlwind of activity, and you’re fascinated by every detail.

Sebastian leads you through the maze of trailers and set pieces, greeting various crew members along the way. Everyone seems to know him, and it’s clear he’s well-liked. You feel a surge of pride knowing your dad is such an integral part of this world.

As you walk, he points out different aspects of the set, explaining their purpose. “That’s the director’s tent,” he says, gesturing to a large structure with monitors and equipment. “They’ll be watching everything from there, making sure the shots look good.”

You nod, trying to absorb as much information as possible.

As you reach a large soundstage, Sebastian leads you inside. The transition from the bright sunlight to the dimly lit interior is jarring, but your eyes quickly adjust. The space is filled with elaborate sets that transport you into another world. You can hardly believe this is where the magic happens.

“Wow,” you whisper, looking around in awe. “This is amazing.”

Sebastian grins, clearly enjoying your reaction. “I knew you’d like it. Come on, I’ll introduce you to some people.”

“Hey, everyone,” Sebastian calls out, drawing their attention. “This is my daughter, Y/N. She’s visiting the set today.”

The actors turn to you, their expressions friendly and welcoming. You feel a little shy under their scrutiny, but you manage a smile and a wave.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” one of them says, extending a hand. “I’m Jack. Your dad’s told us a lot about you.”

You shake his hand, feeling a bit more at ease. “Nice to meet you too. It’s so cool to see everything up close.”

The others introduce themselves, and you find yourself relaxing more and more. They treat you like one of their own, making jokes and sharing stories about working with your dad. You can’t help but feel like you’re part of this big, extended family.

After a while, Sebastian takes you over to the director, a woman with a kind smile and an intense focus. She’s surrounded by monitors, watching the latest takes with a critical eye.

“Hey, Sarah,” Sebastian says, tapping her on the shoulder. “I want you to meet my daughter, Y/N."

Sarah turns and smiles warmly at you. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. Your dad’s a great guy, and an amazing actor. We’re lucky to have him.”

You blush, feeling proud. “Thanks. It’s really cool to see everything you do here. I’ve always wondered what it’s like behind the scenes.”

Sarah nods, her expression thoughtful. “It’s a lot of hard work, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. There’s nothing quite like seeing a story come to life.”

You spend the next few hours exploring the set with your dad, meeting more people and learning about their roles. You even get to watch a few scenes being filmed, and you’re amazed by how much effort goes into each shot. Every detail, from the lighting to the sound, is meticulously crafted to create the perfect scene.

At one point, you find yourself alone with your dad, sitting in a quiet corner of the set. He looks at you with a smile, a mixture of pride and affection in his eyes.

“So, what do you think?” he asks, leaning back in his chair.

“I think it’s incredible,” you reply, your eyes wide with excitement. “I had no idea how much work goes into making a movie. It’s like a whole different world.”

Sebastian nods, his expression thoughtful. “It is. And it’s a world I’m really passionate about. I’m glad you got to see it firsthand.”

You smile, feeling a surge of warmth and connection with your dad. “Me too. Thanks for bringing me here, Dad. It means a lot.”

He reaches out and squeezes your hand. “Of course, kiddo. I’m glad you’re here. And who knows? Maybe one day you’ll be part of this world too.”

You feel a spark of excitement at the thought. “Maybe. I think I’d like that.”

The day continues, and you find yourself immersed in the magic of filmmaking. You watch as your dad transforms into his character. You see the work between the cast and crew, the way they support each other and work together to create something amazing.

As the day comes to an end, you find yourself feeling a little sad to leave. You’ve fallen in love with the world of movies, and you’re already looking forward to your next visit.

On the drive home, you and your dad talk about the day’s events, sharing your favorite moments and memories. You feel a deep sense of gratitude for the opportunity to see your dad in his element, and for the chance to be part of something so special.

“Dad,” you say quietly, looking over at him. “I had an amazing time today. Thank you for bringing me.”

Sebastian smiles, his eyes filled with pride and love. “I’m glad you enjoyed it, Y/N/N. You’re always welcome on set. And who knows? Maybe you’ll be the one behind the camera one day.”

You smile, feeling a spark of excitement at the thought. “Maybe. I think I’d like that.”

As you pull into the driveway, you feel a sense of contentment and joy. Today was a day you’ll never forget, a day that brought you closer to your dad and opened your eyes to a world of possibilities.

You know that whatever path you choose, you’ll have the love and support of your dad, and that’s all you need to face whatever comes your way.

As you head inside, you can’t help but smile. You know for a fact that with your dad by your side, you’re ready for anything.

[glittersums]

When the brainworms are so severe you listen to one good song then boom you wrote a whole AU idea, drew a poster for it, and watched the whole animatic of it in your head.

Additional little drawing: "The aftermath"

Under there I talk about the AU (lots of words):

It's an AU that might be a bit silly/cheesy or whatever it's just fun if you just read it lightly like a fairytale lmao so

They are in different cities, so they don't know each other. Stan&Kenny are at Colorado while Kyle&Cartman are at New Jersey.

Stan finds a battered up rose thrown in an alley next to the flower shop Kenny's working in to get some pocket money.

He absentmindedly picks it up, then does what most people do when they see a rose, he checks if it smells.

Then the rose suddenly disappears and instead there is another boy in front of him. (Rose changes form into Kyle)

Kyle is panicked and frantic and feels he's being attacked (due to reasons I will specify later)

So without thinking he shoves Stan to one of the walls of the alley, Stan shoves back on instinct and when Kyle's about to throw a punch he recognizes that Stan isn't the person Kyle assumed. He does a double take, he pauses and his fist falters.

In that instance Stan takes in how Kyle looks. His beaten up form, split lips, bloody nose, bruises, scraped fists, utterly terrified and outraged look in his eyes. (Like the battered up rose from before)

After a while of doing nothing they calm down. Kyle does an awkward nod and steps out of the alley.

After he's out of sight Stan puts a hand to his chest bc he was, well, pretty scared.

When he steps out of the alley as well he finds Kyle passed out from relief and exhaustion just a step in.

Feeling sympathy for Kyle, Stan decides to take him home, put him in his bed and nurse him back to health. (Very sensible very cautious decision. He most likely was reminded of stray animals he took care of.)

When Kyle regains consciousness he's scared as hell again, then Stan explains the situation. Though Kyle doesn't say much in return. (He himself doesn't clearly understand his predicament, and it's kinda a sore subject, but before all he can't talk about the curse in true fairytale fashion)

Like he suddenly finds himself in a city he doesn't know, with no money so that he can go back home. He's at a loss, doesn't know what to do. However those feelings quickly let way to rage. So he doesn't accept Stan's offer to just get him a bus to take when Kyle says that he's supposed to be in New Jersey. Kyle wants to take his time for once to plot the perfect revenge, so he doesn't contact his parents as well bc he knows they'd come right away. He also feels indebted to Stan somehow, and he seems to want him around. (Stan is just curious lmao)

So for a while Kyle stays at Stan's, secretly because they just can't explains this to his parents. So while everything is unfamiliar, Stan becomes something Kyle can factor as a constant. In the mean time they spend time together, get used to each other, play around joke around, the cute stuff.

At some point they realize they've grown fond of each other, some sort of infatuation. (Sorry this is the obligatory falling in love part of the story)

One day they're taking shelter from the rain, bc they were out too late. It's dark and the shops are closed.

While they're just staring outside waiting for the rain to stop, the conversation steers a bit to a direction that sets Kyle on alarm, like one of them are going to confess to something.

Panicked, he pushes Stan towards a wall again bc he knows there is romantic tension, and Kyle wants to dissipate that since he's scared of his feelings.

Before Stan can react, he raises his fist, not to actually hit, but then loosens his grip when he thinks he sees a hint of betrayal and fear in Stan's eyes. He knows Stan wouldn't want to hurt him. Stan sees his eyes getting teary and sad sad expression as Kyle lowers his fist. (As the implications of Kyle's curse really registers in his mind.)

Kyle then gives in to whatever's built up between them, tells Stan something vague like "Want to know what actually happened?" to avoid the curse, and kisses him instead.

The instant he does he disappears.

Stan opens his eyes back tentatively after not felling or hearing or sensing Kyle at all. Feels confused when he can't see him either. No footsteps to indicate he ran away. He puts a hand to his racing heart as he looks around to find Kyle, calling out to him when he snaps out of the shock.

And when he looks down,

The rose.

The same broken rose stem, but in a way better condition than it was before.

So the tea is that,

Kyle, with his spectacular luck on his love life, gets cursed.

Like he was just living his normal life, then someone unjustifiably gets pissed off at him or maybe he was just caught in the crossfire of something that wasn't even about him.

Regardless someone curses him to turn into a rose whenever someone kisses him.

And y'know how the spells are all about "whatever you state in words" the only condition really for it to work is the contact to the lips. With or without love it doesn't matter. Bc it wasn't specified in the incantation.

So it kinda diverges itself from the classic fairytale narrative.

Trigger warning for this part? Might make you uncomfortable.

What really sets everything off is that Cartman hears the rumors about it and of course makes it all the more Kyle's problem.

So he tries to activate it just to mess with him. Tries to close up and of course Kyle resists, he understands what Cartman's trying to do.

But Cartman is way bigger in size and fights smart when he really wants to so Kyle still can't do much in the long run when he gets cornered. But until then he does a great fight. They do one hell of a tussle and Kyle justifiably beats the shit out of Cartman. But in true south park fashion Cartman is the one who gets what he wants first.

He turns Kyle into a rose then puts him to one of the trucks that transports flowers to some other flower shop. And since the rose is all beaten up (bc Kyle's original body was) the rose is kinda thrown away haphazardly (ik that's probably not what they do sorry flower shop owners) and that's how Stan finds it.

Kyle thought that Cartman turned him back human just to mess him up further when he first came to be so that's why he attacked Stan, all enraged and stuff

So at the very end, Stan understands that the rose is somehow linked to Kyle, he takes the stem and like starts to frantically search for ways to keep it alive as long as possible until he figures out how to turn him back. Bc before all this all he know about flowers was that when you receive a bouquet you put them in a vase of water until they wilt then you throw them out.

And Kyle can't die.

So he plants the rose into a filled pot hoping it will be enough. Makes sure to water it and whatever else.

He looks through sources to learn how to keep him alive, I guess roses could grow roots from the stem it'd be ok?? But flowers are fickle, as far as Stan knows they wilt damn easily if that doesn't happen.

I guess there is some subject of mortality here. Stan feels paranoid whenever he sees wilted flowers unrelated to Kyle. If he could he would carry the pot around everywhere. People around him wonders why he's got a rose in a pot suddenly and why he's so damn overprotective of it. But Kyle can't die.

So days go by like this. Stan does his best to keep Kyle alive and thankfully he doesn't wilt away.

But that's all what's left for Stan. He can only wait for Kyle to come back.

Bc he knows the rose is Kyle but still can't be sure what makes him switch. Since when he smelled the rose he didn't realize his lips were also touching it. He tries to find commonalities but not much comes up.

At some point he wonders if he's made it up all on his mind. There isn't much to prove Kyle's real existence anyways. Or maybe he's scared of what will happen when Kyle comes back. Maybe he will just leave without anything. All kinds of cynical thoughts begin to form, but there still is a part of him that trusts Kyle, so he keeps on.

I'm not sure if Kyle dies in flower form or that Stan figures it out and turns him back.

But if he does, there's now a new time difference between them. Stan already invested so much of his time into Kyle while Kyle was just in a limbo, the whole thing is like a time leap for him. So when Kyle first returns to human form, he'd be tentatively hopeful but Stan is just endlessly relieved but so tired. His mind already tired him thinking that it'd be easier for Kyle to let go and go back to how things have been without Stan, like it's just a one time thing for him.

So maybe for that moment to never come, Stan might wish things to stay that way, but he immediately dismisses the thought as soon as it came, an intrusive thought, he knows he doesn't mean it. Just in a sad and lonely mood.

And it feels like something is unresolved? Like his life as well took a pause the moment Kyle kissed him and disappeared. Something unfinished just keeps him stuck to the rose's side.

Y'all this is not normal. The amount of stuff I wrote for this silly thing. If this doesn't make sense at all, alas, we ball.

[klarolinexluv]

“All Slytherins are evil”

Okay, so this is actually not true. This is a stereotype. And a way to drive fear.

Yes, some of them were evil, they became death eaters but you know who else became death eaters. EVERY OTHER FUCKING HOUSE AND NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING!!!!!!!!

You cannot say that all evil came from Slytherin because being evil IS NOT a trait that solely belongs to Slytherin. In fact, NO trait solely belongs to ANY of the Houses. The sorting system is a joke anyway.

I feel uncomfortable actually.

Just the sorting system and the way people fall prey to that single minded thinking that people cannot grow up or change is devastating and I feel it definitely is reflecting the world WE live in.

Regulus Black for example.

He is a Slytherin. He becomes a death eater at 16. The moment he steps into the real deep shit at 17, mans is turning his back and marching to his death to defy Voldemort and try and do something to end him.

That is an example that people can change.

Dorcas Meadowes for example.

She was a Slytherin. She turns her back on majority of her friend group and joins the Order after she graduates. She tears apart what Voldemort was doing and had to be killed by him personally be to be stopped.

That is an example that not all Slytherins are evil.

Severus Snape for example.

He was a Slytherin. He joins the death eaters and fights for them for years until he switches sides and becomes a spy. He ends up playing a major role helping Harry (his methods were decidedly awful) who then went on to kill Voldemort and end the fucking second war.

This is an example of a very morally grey Slytherin who was both good and evil.

I would also like to point out that these people (the Slytherins) are all repeating the words are actions they were taught by their parents and their parents and their peers. This is generational trauma and cycles of abuse whether that is physical, verbal or emotional. These people were conditioned and trained to be this way for generations!

If you think for a moment that Sirius Black, a Gryffindor who was raised for 16 years by Slytherins(who endured centuries of abuse), that he didn’t struggle to rid himself of his prejudice and continues to struggle for the rest of his life then you have got another thing coming.

Some people genuinely scare me with their inability to recognise nuances in things.

Prime examples to me of this behaviour in the marauders era are people/shippers/stans who call people who like characters like Regulus Black, fascists.

Like these are the same people who absolutely adore James Potter as if he wasn’t a bully in high school. As if he didn’t change and grow as a person to become better. As if James didn’t take a while to learn from what he was doing and change.

I hope these people realise that change is hard for a lot of people. Circumstances sometimes do not allow for people to change.

FOR EXAMPLE

Regulus Black and Peter Pettigrew.

The parallel between them is insane.

A Slytherin who becomes a death eater only to realise everything he knows is a lie and decide to defy Voldemort, turning his back on everything he knows and loves.

A Gryffindor who becomes an order member only to turn around and become a death eater for reasons unknown, turning his back on everything he knows and loves.

It is insane to me that people can clump a group of characters together and call them evil without exploring the depth of any of them.

It’s 100% easier to ignore these characters, say they were evil and call it a day because there is so little information about them.

But if you cannot take the time explore things outside of the perspective of ONE character who is incredibly biased in certain aspects, then what’s the point.

I don’t think my point is very cohesive here. But whatever.

What I’m trying to say is let’s stop generalising and saying “Slytherins are evil because there is not a Slytherin that hasn’t gone bad”. ITS NOT TRUE ITS NOT TRUE ITS NOT TRUE!!!!!!

It’s not to the same extend, certainly not because one is WAY worse than the other but this is a form of prejudice. A preconceived idea that all Slytherins are evil. Just like the blood purists saying that muggleborns steal magic, that their blood is dirty.

IM GENUINELY TWEAKING ACTUALLY

The blood purist thing is a lot worse because of how extreme it went.

HOWEVER, I think that had the stigma not be around either parties, this would not have escalated so hard.

That might be a hot take actually.

I think I’m going to stop whilst I’m ahead because I feel like I’m insane.

[lucifertheanalyzer]

Thoughts on “The Horrendous World of Helluva Boss Criticism” video?

I gave the video a watch, willing to hear the person out, since the critical side of this community has its own problems. But the video’s OP was quite mocking of critiques against Helluva and the people giving them. It was a pretty unpleasant viewing experience

I have the YouTuber blocked on Twitter, oh boy. I watched a lot of bad and unpleasant videos in my lifetime. As long as the audio is clear and the visuals don’t make my eyes scream for help, I can handle it.

Sees well-known dick riders stans in comment section: 🙄 Oh brother.

Sees a comment starting off with this:

“You have no how relieved I am to see discussion video actually defending this show and calling out the most obnoxious haters. Honestly, a lot of hate for Helluva Boss seems to be rooted in several kinds of bigotry - Homophobia, ableism (half the cast is so neurodivergent-coded imo) and misogyny (because the creator is a woman and the hate-watcher crowd never acknowledges Brandon Rogers, the co-writer, unless they want to praise him at Vivziepop's expense and blame literally EVERYTHING they don't like about the show on Viv and her alone) in particular.”

I guess I am no longer gay and neurodivergent because I like talking about the demons shows in a critical light for my own enjoyment. Time to throw away my pride flags and became a grifter on Twitter. /s 😔

I swear to everything if fans keep saying that all critics are bigots, I’m going to lose it!! 🫠Most critics on here and on Twitter are queer (trans, non-binary, aspec, etc) and neurodivergent. One fan critic I follow literally just said “autism”, which he is very real for lmao. Some critics are also woman. If you think all critics or the anti-Hellaverse crowd are anti-LGBT straight cis people, I hope you find your brain soon. I’m not saying that those people don’t exist but they’re very rare and tend to be ignore or made fun off by all sides. If your opinions are filled by hate, they are never valid.

Love that they pulled the ableism card while the r-slur was used back in the pilot, Blitz almost said it again, and in Ghostfuckers there is that “joke” about Toledo the Igor, the bellhop at the hotel Blitz and Millie go to who is visible disability where they are disgusted by the sight of him. Brandon gets criticized as well, same with Adam. Viv gets pushback more because she responds. If you criticized her in her replies, you are more likely to get her attention which causes more drama/discourse. Brandon and Adam just seem to live their lives and rarely or never responds to negative feedback.

It is currently 12am right now, I’m going to make a live reaction blog post (to be able to upload videos clips so I don’t get claims I’m taking her video out of context) while I enjoy my breakfast in the morning.

Would do it in video form but ehhhhhhhhhh speaking is hard okay? 🥺 Stupid speech impediment.

The YouTuber in question goes by she/her by the way, I have no idea why the person in Stephen’s screenshot misgenders her. Probably a mistake though.

[maxdibert]

aside from the marauders, what are other HP characters you hate?

aside from snape, what are other HP characters you like?

do you think umbridge was as bad as a villain that so many people hate her or is it just kids with strict teacher hate again? which of the villains do you think were the worst?

I absolutely hate Molly Weasley with all my heart, and she’s almost on the same level as James Potter, honestly. I think James only beats her because of the bullying; if it weren’t for that, Molly would clearly take the top spot. In fact, I dislike Molly way more than Remus, for example, and considering that Remus is someone who abandoned a pregnant woman, for me to dislike someone more than that, they must have done something really messed up. I can’t stand Ginny either. She’s honestly the epitome of a pick-me girl, and I wish they’d drowned her in the lake before she became a Mary Sue. She’s "not like other girls," and we’re supposed to like her because she plays sports, doesn’t cry, and makes awful and violent jokes that aren’t even remotely funny. Dumbledore is a character who holds a special place in my zone of disdain because I think he’s a cynic, a hypocrite, and a moralist with no right to lecture anyone, especially given that he’s an expert at judging kids and abandoning them to their fate if they’re not useful to him. He treats people like pawns in his war plans, and honestly, that type of personality disgusts me to no end.

Besides Severus, I really like McGonagall, Fleur Delacour, Percy Weasley, Luna, and teenage Tom Riddle, who was a delightful, manipulative diva. I would’ve loved to learn more about him because, honestly, I think he could’ve been a very interesting character to explore in depth. I have a soft spot for Cedric because Cedric is everything James Potter should’ve been: a boy from a good family, with loving parents who adore him, handsome, popular, good at Quidditch, loved by everyone, and also a genuinely good person who behaves decently and even helps his rivals. Cedric is a pure green flag, we stan him hard in this house.

[amalthea-13]

hello this is more fandom + headcanon related than a serious thing

I wanted to ask your opinion on stolas's powers + his role, like he had two roles in life 1.have an heir 2.read the stars/be a prophet (i may be misremembering)

we know he can turn people to stone and can create portals both w/o his grimoire. what other silly spells do you think could occur? also what do you think/would want to happen with the whole stars thing?

personally, i love the idea that stolas memorized the spell how to turn other creatures, specifically imps, in to human disguises because of that episode where blitz jokes abt it

ohh i think it'd be fun to see stolas teach IMP about other spells that they wouldn't have known bc they only focused on traveling to the world + i think seeing flashbacks of stolas teaching octavia would be nice

My Thoughts/Headcanons on Stolas and His Future

Casually pulling myself out of bed from writing a 9 page essay that's due tomorrow because I haven't had a good ask in a hot minute! However, hello all, it is I, Amalthea, the Ultimate Stolas Kin and Stan and let's get into some more chill stuff so I can relax my brain a bit! TYSM!!

Stolas's Powers

When it comes to Stolas's powers, I have been very, very passionate about my desire for him to have his powers back in some way in the future. To other Stolas Stans or Stolitz Fans this may not be a top priority, but I am a writer myself. Between fanfics, my personal novels, poetry, and song writing, if someone cut my hands off and I couldn't write, they may as well kill me.

I have a big issue with Stolas not having his powers since he is often shown expressing himself with them and emotionally relieving himself through them. Outside of Blitz, Stolas's powers were one of the few other safe places he had and to see that robbed of him???

As an artist Mastermind made me physically ill with grief just because I knew what it was like to have your craft stripped from you. As a child, I was often grounded from writing or my personal box FULL of my manuscripts would me taken away from me for days at a a time.

As I said earlier, I would rather die than not be able to write. That's just an impossible reality for me.

However, I have cried over this topic long enough.

Personally, I do think Stolas could have spells and such memorized for the sake of utility. In Truth Seekers that fucker got to Earth as fast as possible and in the very first episode of the series we see Stolas see Blitz in the human world through the bubbles in his tub.

Headcanons

When it comes to head canons I do not have very many for Stolas, but I think he's a lazy fuck sometimes lol. I feel like he enjoys floating things to himself to avoid leaving a place of comfort or his bedroom.

Now for Stolas to read prophecies he has to be either on Earth or use his grimoire to his lil pocket dimension to view the stars up close as we see he does with Octavia. Personally I think if Stolas gets back to Earth he could read the stars with or without his powers due to him having been at this for years now.

I think if anything it'd be oh so cool to have him be the only one aware of an incoming threat and fighting for his life to inform Andrelphus. Blitz and Loona being confused but Stolas literally doing everything in his power to inform the other royals, but like as he is about to, Andrelphus somehow gets to him and they have yet another fight.

I think it'd be neat to see Loona learning from Stolas how to do magic, but I don't think it'd last long. Stolas is to fragile to metaphorically adopt and mentor her. Even if Blitz asked he just would feel guilty for enjoying himself. I don't think Stolas will want to take on a paternal role for Loona until Octavia is back in his life.

I think he'd teach Loona about human disguises then teach her nothing else unless absolutely necessary. I do think there will be a wall between them every time where he ignores her not to be mean but to punish himself.

I do hope this all answers your questions! <3

[threerattsinatrenchcoat]

2024 Writing Challenge Wrap Up

This year I wanted to put out a piece of writing—either a complete piece or a chapter—every week. My main goal was to quit getting stuck in editing hell. This is what I learned:

Writing for output gets you faster but it really highlights your weaknesses as a writer. I found myself reusing a lot of genres, themes, characters, sentence structure, etc, as a crutch to make the process easier. The worst was when I would simply list everything that happened in a scene, like a micromanaging script writer—she did x, he did y, she did z—without taking the time to prune it to the story I wanted to tell. (Funny enough, a friend sent me this article today that perfectly highlights what I'm trying to describe here. This past year my consumption of visual media definitely increased). I'd finish a piece and the word count would seem impressive, but those words didn't actually say anything. Quantity was reducing my quality.

Compared to my earlier writing, I also slipped into using more obvious/dull similes and metaphors. Every character started to speak and act the same, and instead of writing endings, I found myself just writing characters who simply "won" the plot.

Writing short stories combatted almost all of the above. It forced me to remove parts that were hiring the story and remember that I rarely needed the text to describe everything. The dialogue, characters actions and values, my audience's own brains would fill in the gaps. I think people even enjoy a bit of vagueness, especially with jokes; explaining the punchline doesn't make it funny. Letting people have that moment of "aha!" is more effective.

Sometimes I overcorrected—I've read a few older pieces where I'm like, "wait what just happened," but at least I didn't find myself skipping parts of the story.

Applying the concepts of "but it went wrong" and "they would not say that" also helped the above. When I caught myself just writing a list of all the things my characters did to win the plot, I would combat that by either having them fail or fuck up or both. My stories were way more fun/interesting when I figured out the line a character would not cross and then made their victory beyond that line, so they either had to cross the line or avoid it entirely. Example: in The Gang Goes to the Underdark, Zarys will not leave the shipment, even if it means leaving part of her team behind and traveling a very dangerous route, so she goes to ridiculous lengths to deliver it, including capturing minotaurs and walking straight into a trap.

Refusing to have characters act out of character made for more interesting stories, I think. After all, there's a reason I like these characters. (Shout out to @graysparrowao3 whose toxic Aradin/Rugan fics encouraged me to let people be more awful, and to everyone who stans villains). Whenever I had to have a character break "they would not say that" I tried to figure out a good why. Why would this unempathetic character be nice to someone? Maybe because they really love them… or maybe because they think they can get something out of it.

Writing is time consuming. I joked a few times about how I need to step away from the keyboard, my family misses me, but I work full time, go to the gym, volunteer and aim for 7 hours of sleep a night…and then was writing 10+ hours a week. For my pieces, I tried to note down how long they took because I think people devalue free things, but every made thing has a cost.

I can write through (almost) anything. I originally thought I would fail at this goal. Technically I did—4 things I wrote were never posted (projects fell through), and I was without power/cell/internet/water for weeks after a hurricane and while I did write, posting wasn't on my agenda. I also was wildly burnt out/grieving after the hurricane and found myself mechanically getting pieces out there, using the challenge as a way to implement some normalcy. But I posted most weeks and wrote something for every single one. I learned how to barrel through writer's block and how to say "good enough" for a deadline.

Avoiding burnout is a proactive, not a reactive, activity. I fully planned to abandon this challenge if I thought it was ruining my relationship with writing. However, really prioritizing other parts of my life did a lot to protect my relationship with writing, especially prioritizing exercise and my family/friends. Towards the end of the year I started writing less and less, mostly to pick back up other hobbies (gaming especially).

I can write characters, ships, kinks and stories that I don't care about. I did several exchanges/challenges this year because coming up with so much to write is hard. These exchanges meant that I wrote a bunch of stuff where I started the fic not giving a single flying fuck about the characters. Three of a Four Course Meal is an example—I picked it up on a pinch hit mostly because "vampire dinner party" was too hilarious a prompt to let it not be written. I'm not into robots, most of the mages, or Cal/Geraldus (or most of the couples I write, sorry! Like 90% of them are from talking to people online and being like "I like this person, I want to make them something") but I wrote each with the mindset of "I don't need to be into this, I just need to figure out how to write it." I think this helps a lot with output and with pushing yourself to write better. The advice to kill your darlings is also a lot easier when the piece doesn't start out as darling.

Stats:

I debated not including this because all that ^^^ is the real victory, but fuck it, I want to link fics, haha.

I posted over 300,000 words in 2024 (I started to do the math to remove all the words in collab chapter fics I didn't write and gave up) across 48 fics and 105 chapters, which for me is a massive quantity. Every single fic was a rare pair. I cracked several new tags on AO3—I'm probably most infamous for Dammon/Strange Ox, but I also did others, like Vorgoth/Rook, Guex & Pandirna and a bunch of Salazon tags. I also contributed to so many Elturian Refugee and Zhent tags. I'm still a little confused how there are only 43 works with Alfira/Lakrissa, but 4 of them are mine and 3 of those have Alfira/Lakrissa as the main couple. I'm doing my part!

My most popular fic for hits was Wine, Iron and Other Damnables. This was also one of the first I posted, closest to the "height" of activity in the fandom. It was my longest at 44,047 words. I recently reread it and it's not as snappy as my stuff ended up in the end, but it does have a lot of fun plays on words I'd like to return to.

My most kudos'd fic was Where There's Smoke. It was posted pretty soon after Veilguard came out and got a shout out on tiktok, which quadrupled its kudos in 3 days. Really a testament to how much the "when" you post matters; it's pretty standard Ratt smut but so much more popular than my other stuff! The word count was 2,988, although you can pick your pronouns and stuff so the word count is actually higher.

My least popular fic for hits is The Curse of a Promise. It's a rair pair, is WLW, it's SFW—basically everything people say won't get hits haha. But it's my little fic (878 words) and I love it. Least popular for kudos is Popper's Bag of Popping at 700 words, which I was a little surprised by. Maybe it's an issue with the tone not matching the subject? Either way, I'm glad it's no longer one of my Wyll fics.

My shortest fic was Perception at 141 words, and I'm honestly very fond of it!

What's next?

I plan to keep writing, but definitely not at the same output. I would really like to return to some of the creativity and wordplay I had in my original stuff, and I can't do that and put out as much material. I also really want to prioritize longer pieces again.

I'll probably step back from exchanges. It was pretty disheartening to work hard on something for someone and have the receiver comment "can't wait to read it" and then nothing. Or, you know, get literally nothing, not even a kudos. It's kind of soured my feelings toward exchanges. However, shout out to @commander-krios and @lolliputian for running several solid collabs/exchanges and the Zhentil keep for their round robins.

I would like to do a bit more art this year. I know practice generally makes improvement, and seeing how much other artists like @littleplasticrat and @redroomroaving have improved has made me want to get back at it. I cannot do a piece a week, though, haha. Maybe one a month, we'll see. I haven't decided.

Overall, though, I would like to spend less time online. I miss my family, I miss DnD, gaming, reading and hiking. There were things I delayed last year to meet this goal that no longer exist. I'm tired. Happy I did this, but tired.

Additional thoughts that didn't really fit anywhere:

I never expected to make friends during the challenge but I did. I made a lot of friends, and they're all driven, creative, ridiculous, intelligent, hilarious, honest, silly and so valuable to me. I really missed making things with people. I'm just so grateful to everyone I met.

I'm also grateful to all the people who tagged me in their end of the year posts, thank you so much. You're all very lovely

[chaos0pikachu]

i am almost embarrassed to report that my friend and i are now at episode 522 of one piece, so just before they go to fishman island......

and i have to say! sanji post-timeskip (so far)? activates my fight instict like nothing else :) wish that him being on momoire island wasn't what it is, tbh; in my opinion that would have been an opportunity to, idk, make sanji less instead of more of a creep + his 'challenge' on the island just kinda makes everything worse......

(it's also incredibly interesting to me how transphobia and cissexism operate during that whole thing—because those people's gender is never taken seriously or seen as authentic, at least not by sanji who is the one we have to watch navigate the island + the way everybody is drawn in this strange caricature way; my friend has told me there are going to be characters in the future where it's better and the whole thing with ivankov and impel down exists but still)

the thing is, this part of sanji being a gag almost makes the whole thing worse for me, in a way where i know why he is like that and that you can’t really take it out anymore, it's part of his character whether i like it or not, but i just want to take a hammer to his head every time it happens

nami, robin and zoro post-timeskip look gorgeous, btw! especially robin's hair, love me a slicked back hair look!!! and zoro's scar? 👀 interesting! going to love seeing what all they can do now, not gonna lie!

also, the gang being back together? 🥺 i love it <333

Sanji is one of those characters that is very frustrating because there's times when he's great - Whole Cake is Sanji at his most interesting - and I genuinely dislike how power scalers are always trying to pit him against Zoro. Sanji's "dream" doesn't even have anything to do with being "the strongest/best" in terms of power like Zoro which is what makes him interesting. And what makes his relationship with Luffy different from Luffy's relationship with Zoro (which is important, if there's a man Sanji would ever be and has been openly valurnable with it's Luffy, Luffy, Luffy).

Luffy values Sanji for his compassion, feeding a starving man is why Luffy wants Sanji on his crew. If Sanji never wanted to fight again he would still be Luffy's cook, chef of the Strawhats.

All that said, and while I understand fans desire to headcanon - or outright attempts to rewrite canon - to make Sanji more palatable, fact of the matter is, this is just his character. Oda isn't doing anything subversive with Sanji, nor is Sanji some sort of queer coded icon. Oda is very obvious and straightforward with which of his characters are queer.

One of my best friends is a Sanji STAN they love him, but they acknowledge that he is, well, like that. Even Sanji's reaction to the okama isn't something that doesn't have history in animanga. Who have been a joke in shounen for decades. You want good queer representation in anime or manga? Watch or read shojo, josei, GL, or BL, maybe some seinen. Shounen is often times, not where it's at. They exist: Yu Yu Hakusho, Gurran Lagann, Tsubasa Chronicle, Neon Genesis Evangelion but they're - in my experience - way more rare.

Like off the top of my head I can think of plenty of shojo series that included a queer character/characters and/or queer themes: The Gentlemen's Alliance Cross, Godchild, Wish, Fushigi Yuugi, MARS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Sailor Moon, My Love Mix-Up (a lot of ppl just assume this is BL, but it was published in a shojo magazine and even won the manga award in the shojo category), The Rose of Versailles, Tokyo Babylon, Paradise Kiss, god honestly the list goes on and on.

Meanwhile in shounen/seinen land there's Puri Puri (One Punch Man)🥴🥴

Point being, Sanji isn't new or unique, he's like the anime version of a Vince Vaughn character but with pathos in between all the obnoxious gag comedy.

I'll warn you Sanji is near unbearable in Fishman, but I did like his story in Dressrosa which is one of my personal favorite arcs of the series.

A lot of folks were hating on the new Robin look but I LOVED it. She looked like a wine auntie and I love that energy b/c Robin would be a wine auntie just one that may or may also be a witch in a Practical Magic. Absolutely fabulous.

That mini arc of everyone returning and coming back together is actually another fave of mine from the series. I love seeing everyone reunite, I thought Luffy's bits were great, the way chaos just explodes around the strawhats was amazing.

A lot of folks seem down on the post timeskip arcs but tbh most of my fave arcs are post timeskip. Oda DOES get a bit to indulgent in terms of length, but hell Impel Down and Marineford were also - imo - to damn long lol so Dressrosa, and Wano's lengths weren't that bad for me.