#but all of that would require the writers to remember she did in fact have a life before van in the adult TL

[bisexualmikisayaka]

also like. man. i liked it when characters in this show had scenes dedicated to them and their lives and not how they related to shauna shipman

[felassan]

David Gaider on Cassandra (the last of these retrospective character threads), under a cut for length:

"This is the last of the (major) characters I wrote during my time on Dragon Age. I could go into others, and considered moving onto Stray Gods... but I feel like fewer would be interested, and I honestly can't keep up the pace. So let's make this the last, for now. So, yeah. Cassandra. We knew early on that Cassandra would come into DAI as a companion, along with Varric, that this was part of what DA2 set up for the sequel. Now, I'd written Cassandra's short scenes in DA2, yes, but I wasn't her writer for DAI. Initially, she was Jennifer Hepler's character. By mid-project, in fact, Cassandra was more or less fully written. Jennifer did a great job - solid character, solid quest. The sticking point, it turned out, was her romance. Now, to be fair, Jennifer told me straight up when we began that writing romance wasn't her forte, but she'd give it a go. The problem with the romance as she wrote it wasn't in its execution but more a clash between the character as Jennifer envisioned her and the requirements of her being a romance. See, I mentioned previously that a romance arc inherently limits the kinds of stories you can tell with a companion. Many responses I got can be summed up as "lol skill issue", but consider this: a companion romance isn't a fic you can just throw up on AO3. It's an investment of a lot of resources. If a companion has one, most of their resources need to be devoted to it - it's not "now let's ALSO add a romance"."

"That means it needs to take priority in who they are as a character and their arc. What's more, they need to be *appealing* to a big chunk of the player base - or at least someone we can imagine being broadly appealing, anyway. Thankfully, there are still many many stories this can accommodate. 😊 This, however, wasn't one of those. Was Cassandra a fascinating character? Absolutely. Her romance, though... Well, Jennifer DID warn me. She'd written Cassandra as a serious, self-righteous, pious woman who put the Inquisitor on a messianic pedestal. Romancing her meant changing her view of you. You did this by being... pushy. Jennifer didn't mean it to, I'm sure, but sometimes it came off as, at best, negging. At worst, a bit harassy. And Jennifer would have fixed it. This was a 1st draft, and the issues - while serious - were something a skilled writer like her could handle. No problem. Thing is, Jennifer left. You may not remember, but this was around the time a bunch of GamerGate dudes decided Jennifer was somehow responsible for ALL of BioWare's faults. Oh, the power she wielded! She, a writer, could even command the combat Bio made! The result was a LOT of ugly harassment. 😞 Is this why she left? You'd have to ask her, but it undoubtedly didn't help. The important thing is, she left - and there was nobody as senior nor as superhumanly fast as her to take over any unfinished work. This is where Patrick Weekes comes in: a solid, senior writer who could fill her shoes."

"It was great timing - not only did Cassandra need a writer, I'd slowly fallen more and more behind. It was clear by that point that I'd never be able to write Dorian AND Cole AND Solas as planned. They needed to pick up two. And I let them choose the ones who interested them, like all my writers. Patrick taking Solas was no surprise, and while I had Big Plans for Solas in the future I knew at least he'd be in good hands. I was reeeeaaaally hoping Patrick would then pick Cassandra... but they wanted Cole. My baby. Who I created in Asunder. I grumped, but Patrick clearly loved the character. They had ideas for Cole which... yeah yeah, sounded cool. Fiiine. 😅 Now I had to figure out what *I* was going to do with Cassandra. We couldn't move the romance to someone else, all the other female characters were well underway, and I didn't know the character well enough to fix her with tweaks. That meant a re-write. I didn't WANT to erase all that good work, but I needed to start from scratch. Yet how? A pious, self-righteous character was already a risk in terms of romantic appeal. There are only a small number of traits sorta considered universally unappealing but they're on that list. In this instance, Cassandra already being a known character helped. I came across a webcomic (by aimo, I think? AHH I wish I could find it now) that made a joke about Cassandra reading Varric's books. Off-hand, no basis for it, but funny. 😆 And I thought: YES. THAT'S IT. THAT'S WHAT I'M MISSING."

"I sat down and wrote the "fangirl" scene, just to test it out. Everyone loved it, and it served to change my image of who Cassandra was - a view of the inside, at the idealistic and awkward passion she felt, for so many things... AND the Maker. "Yes," I thought. "I could fall in love with this." Who knew Cassandra could be funny? Not anyone, coming out of DA2, yet here we were. It worked so well and her voice came so easily. Miranda Raison was game ofc, and amazing. Though Caroline did gripe that, if we ever met more Nevarrans THAT accent meant we'd have the Tali Problem all over again. 😅 Cassandra's romance is burned into my brain as the time when we THE most awkward conversation with the animators ever. See, that moment during the sex scene on the picnic blanket when she leans back and... there were suddenly these strategically-placed candles, juuuust covering the Sordid Bits. Thing is, they were so obviously placed just to do that. Plus, we'd already decided to do full nudity in DAI, hadn't we? WHY WERE THEY EVEN THERE? Turns out, the nudity thing was still pretty new to the team. They'd forgotten and put the candles there almost as a reflex. So prudish. So Canadian. 😂 I do find it kind of funny that, these days, what I mostly hear about Cassandra is from female fans upset at me because she wasn't a lesbian option. I mean, right? Who wouldn't want that? Technically not my decision, but I guess I WAS behind the companions having set preferences so... fair enough?"

"Some of them do take it to an entitled place, though, like Cassandra *should* have been a lesbian. Why? Because she looks like one, apparently, and that that's a bit of stereotyping which feels... odd? But it's not as if lesbian players are spoiled for choice left and right, so again: fair enough. It did lead to the best end credits VO perhaps ever, and overall I'm pretty happy with how Cassandra panned out. Things never end up like you expect, right? But such is game dev lyfe. 🥸🖖 Did you know Cassandra was THE most-romanced DAI character, by a good margin? Least, by a good margin? Dorian."

[source thread]

User: "Did you have any hand in her writing for Dawn of the Seeker?" David Gaider: "No, none. Nobody at BioWare had any hand in Dawn of the Seeker, outside of maybe Mike approving the script or direction? Only he could say for sure." [source]

User: "Was Miranda a specific casting choice by anyone on the team (similar to your picks for Merrill/Fenris/Solas), or was she simply a lucky find? I loved Miranda on the BBC series "Spooks", so I was very pleasantly surprised to learn she voiced one of my favourite DA characters" David Gaider: "I don’t remember how Miranda was cast. Auditioned, I expect, and she had a good “steely warrior voice” which is surprisingly uncommon among actresses. The accent she made up was all her, as well." [source]

User: "What's the Tali Problem?" David Gaider: "When Tali was the only Quarian, the actress doing a made-up accent was fine. Once there were others… do we get them all to mimic her? That’s a tall order!" [source]

User: "I'd say Solas is the most popular nowaday, but you need to be such a specific race/gender combo + most straight guys wouldn't go for him, i get hes not on top of the list, but I'd have expected Josephine over Cass." David Gaider: "You can’t go by how fans online talk about playing the game. There is almost zero correlation between the playstyles of the vocal hardcore and the masses." [source]

User: "I was a Dorianmancer. The cut content in Trespasser DLC was sad to read, it definitely felt short/abrupt for Dorianmancers. Anyway to share what was cut at all?" David Gaider: "I don’t know what was cut out of the conversation, as I never played it. I just heard about it after the fact." [source]

User: "Those end credits are truly incredible. Do you remember who wrote them? I'm guessing a combination of Mary Kirby & you?" David Gaider: "I wrote them, but I recall the entire team kind of took part in brainstorming the pieces of it." [source]

User: "I’m very curious- Do you know what direction you would have taken Cole and his story if you’d kept him?" David Gaider: "It's hypothetical at this point, but I suspect I would have been less willing to lose the serial killer aspect... or, at least, would have made that transition occur as part of his arc in DAI. Yet that's easy to say from this side of the divide. Who knows, really?" [source]

User: "With Cassandra you created one of the best characters in DA history." David Gaider: "Personally, my favorite response of hers is where she gets mocked for loving romance and she comes back with a retort about how it's a strength - how loving something and striving for the ideal takes courage. To me, that's central to her core." [source]

User: "inquiry: did you not write any of the Awakening characters?" David Gaider: "I wrote Anders, Justice, and Nathaniel in Awakening - but it was such a hurried project, my memories of it are pretty much a blur. "Yes, I worked on that" is almost all I can say about it, I'm afraid." [source]

[meowse]

Solavellan ending and why I hate it

Major Veilguard endgame spoilers under the cut.

I beat the game two days ago and I haven't been able to stop thinking about that ending. I'm not going to get into the rest of the game's flaws. They've been covered at length. But all of those issues aside, the one perfect, untouchable thing I thought I had left as the game drew to a close was the Solavellan ending. After all, Trick wrote the original Solavellan romance and the incredible continuation of it in Trespasser. As lead writer, they were directly responsible for making it happen. I thought we had this in the bag.

So on one hand, my favorite Dragon Age romance finally reunited and disintegrated off into the sunset.

On the other hand, he did not choose her.

This is what ruined it for me. I know a lot of people have issues with her sacrificing her life to join him in the Fade, but that was really a secondary issue for me.

What was the point of their entire relationship if, in the end, when it REALLY counted, he was never going to choose Lavellan over tearing down the Veil? Why did it take Mythal, who he actually killed in the last game in order to take her power, to convince him? Where's the romance in that?

This literally just turned into the story of Lavellan and the elven god who did not love her enough.

Okay, yes, the gamified reason it takes Mythal to convince him is because Lavellan was tacked onto an existing avenue of dealing with Solas rather than being given her own separate option, right? At the end of the game you have the choice to either fight him, trick him, or (if the Mythal-related criteria is met) invoke the essence of Mythal contained in the statue. No Bring Out The Big Guns, Lavellan option.

In my opinion, she should have been the fourth option, only available to players that have an Inquisitor that romanced Solas and encouraged Lavellan to reunite with him mid-game. It would have required about as much effort to do this as it did to have him turn her down once again (which, I maintain defeats the entire purpose of the story being told here). That would have been the absolute easiest fix to this fucking mess.

I understand why Lavellan wasn't counted among his regrets and therefore wasn't in the Lighthouse murals (because he doesn't actually regret falling in love with her) and I acknowledge that getting real closure from Mythal is important to Solas's story, and that it did have its place in that ending scene. Whether she was a lover or a mother to him isn't really the issue here -- it's the fact that she holds sway over him where Lavellan apparently does not. Despite the fact that, again, he killed Mythal in the previous game, despite the fact that he couldn't bring himself to kill the Inquisitor for the anchor, despite the fact that Lavellan was the one single thing in the world that made him really want to walk away from his plans.

(Why wasn't the "I release you from my service" a conversation had between him and Flemythal back in Inquisition? And why is that essence of Flemythal (who now exists in Morrigan) suddenly so chill and pro-Veil? Do we not remember the reckoning that will shake the very heavens? The She was betrayed as I was betrayed, as the world was betrayed? I will see her avenged? No payoff? None? There's so much wrong and bad writing to unpack there, but this is still a Solavellan post.)

Back to him wanting to turn away from his grand plan. The fundamental difference between Mythal and Lavellan, in my opinion, is the way each of them saw him. Mythal asked him to change for her, to leave the Fade, to commit atrocities with her out of love and service. Lavellan only ever loved him as a man, never once asking him to change for her, never asking him to be anything other than himself. In the time they were together, he was able to be the person he wanted to be. It took a very specific set of circumstances and a very specific person that had to fall into place for that romance to happen, which is arguably what made her so special, and what made their time together even more so. It followed, especially with what we know now, that he would want to drop his grand plan to be with her.

In comes Veilguard, which introduced a parallel between Solas/Mythal and Solavellan. In the second memory, we discover that Mythal never once chose Solas over her duty to elvhenan (even when he begged her to lay it down and run away with him) and dragged him along with her to commit unspeakable atrocities (in her words, she broke him). Solas (at that point in the game, when we were witnessing the memories) had yet to choose Lavellan over his crusade, but quite literally loved her too much to bring her along with him. He would not let her do that to herself, he would not do to her what Mythal did to him.

Here's where I feel like I'm losing my mind, because I thought the point of that mural was to foreshadow him eventually choosing Lavellan, as he is very much not Mythal, and is very much looking for a reason to lay it down, to be proven wrong. I also thought the blurb in the Inquisitor character creation menu (who did you romance) was foreshadowing it, as well as the mid-game choice Rook can make to encourage her to reunite with him and change his heart.

So why didn't it happen? I can only assume because they didn't actually want to have any of our choices carry over, let alone the Solavellan option (which they should have realized from the start was a bad call and also fucking impossible to manage given that the game is a direct sequel to Inquisition). The fact that Lavellan is tacked onto an already existing scene rather than being given her own is evidence of this. However, even if she had to be tacked onto the Mythal scene and not given her own, a simple reordering of the events would have fixed the fucking ending. So it could have gone two (very easily manageable and not too much extra) ways:

Remove the part where he turns her down. Remove the entire thing. Morrimythal could have flown up to him before the Inquisitor even arrived on scene, we could have had our statue moment, and just when he thinks he's going to be all alone behind the Veil, Lavellan shows up, they reunite, and she goes with him. (Easiest way for Bioware to fix it imo)

Lav acts as the ace up our sleeve, a fourth option (and a second option to make him lay it down) instead of using the statue to redeem him. Mythal releases him from her service AFTER he chooses Lavellan, thereby releasing him from his guilt over her. I prefer this one. It should have been this. They could have walked away, they could have tied themselves to the Veil, either way works.

Now, I am among those that think the Veil should have come down, which would have rendered this entire thing moot, had it happened. But since Bioware is dead-set on maintaining the status quo in Thedas, it should have been this instead.

In writing this I wonder if I've been completely delusional over their relationship, but going by the reactions to this ending, it seems that what we got was not at all expected.

[circeyoru]

Unwanted Soul _ Part 10 = Requested

[Yandere!Alastor x Owner of his Soul!Reader]

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 2.5 (ask) — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6 — Part 7 — Part 8 — Part 9 — Part 10 (here)

You’re sure it didn’t take a second after Alastor heard the introduction to immediately grab Kat with his many black tendrils that appeared under Kat’s feet. Her high-pitch screams made you cover your ears and and squeeze your eyes shut. At your discomfort, Alastor had a tendril wrapped around her mouth

You watched while Alastor had that raging murderous smile on his face while his eyes turned back. He threw Kat from building to building, never letting go and giving her a moment to recover. You timed a good 10 minutes before you placed a hand on Alastor’s arm to snap him out of his rage

It was considerate of him to not personally deal with her because you were still near and you two were out in the open so anything could happen. Normally, he would have torn her limb from limb and chomped down on her flesh like a piece of meat. Now this was a new method of torture

At your touch, Alastor’s head snapped to you. You pointed to a spot on the side of your head and told him Kat was marked by Vox’s servant symbol, meaning the contract she was mentioning had been one with Vox. Alastor’s grin widened even more and gave one final throw into the ground, creating a crater before releasing her from his hold

Kat gasped and groaned, trying to get up but fell back down. Slowly, she crawled her way out of the crater and ended up at your feet. You watched her with distain and pity. You honestly can’t understand why she’d take Vox’s deal, she was taken advantage of, possibility due to her having just arrived in Hell at the time and didn’t know the importance of a soul contract

“How dare you die…” Kat hissed, his hands clenched to fists. “You have no idea what I went through after that f**king stunt you pulled!”

“I’m assuming you meant you stealing My Darling’s work as your own?” Alastor glared sharply at Kat.

Kat laughed, “Hahahahaha! What kind of lies did you feed him?” She pointed a finger at you, “This f**ker let me! The b*tch was happy to write for me! I take the credit cause you don’t want the attention, remember?”

Your eyes narrowed. That’s what you told yourself all those time. You told yourself it was fine because you didn’t like all this publicity and attention. Yet the fact that you felt anger towards it meant you didn’t want to give your work to another. At least not when all this was given to someone like her

Honestly, how can she blame her later misfortune on your death? She was your best friend, shouldn’t she feel something about it? Anything? Even the slighty sadness before all this?

You gripped onto Alastor’s hand, feeling a headache and dizziness growing. You whispered that you wanted to go home

Alastor understood and with a final slap at the poor excuse of a friend across the face with his end of the cane, Alastor brought you two back to your shared room. Alastor asked if you needed anything but you merely said you needed some time alone

“If you require anything, Love. Just call me.”

“...”

Back at the crater, before Kat could recover from the blow or curse. She was swiftly pinned to the ground by the neck, a situation that was all too familiar. Sharp blade like needles stabbed into her hands and knees. Dread filled every fiber of her body as she tried to get out of the hold she’s under but her body was frozen in fear

Just like before

“Aww, The Dear Writer left so quickly… What a thoughtful bodyguard too. Nothing less will be fitting for the Dear.” The new figure cooed, their shoes applied more force on Kat’s neck, grinding her into the ground. “Don’t you agree, Faker?”

“How did you find me?” Kat shivered against the hold. “Ce— Ahhhhh!”

“Ah ah~ I think it’s only right that I have a new name down here, I’m Nemesis now.” The demon chuckled, “Not hard considering your new boss is quite infamous around the city. What with all the technology he sells, you appearing on TV was just an easy guess. Though my services aren’t required when you have this.”

Kat screamed when a sharp blade pierced into the place where Vox’s contract mark was implanted. 

Nemesis’ lips curved into a twisted smile as they continued to slowly torture the screaming female. “So where can I find the Dear Writer?”

“Hazbin… Hotel…”

“Many thanks.” Nemesis’ tail pulled out the blades without warning one by one, their ear flickering at the screams while they pulled out their phone. They grinned, pressing on something, “I think you were in the spotlight of fame a bit too long down here. Let’s return you to the nothing you are.”

Over the past few days, you’ve been working non-stop making all those TVs and speakers that you promised Vox. While doing so, you tried not using your pages and used your quill to write in the air like Lucifer suggested, it took some time since the mechanism was more complex than what you tried before. Though it offer as good exercise for you

Smoothly, you somehow managed to slowly not use your quill as well and changed to using your finger to scribble words in the air before flicking at it to summon your written object. That took way more energy that you can manage because the word required energy then the conjuration required even more energy

But you managed because you needed something to distract yourself from the recent train of events and emotional burn out

Alastor’s been trying to get you to pause in your work and relax. You ignore it all together and continued, even when Alastor pulled you away and into his arms, you were motionless and repeated told him to let go so you could work. All he could do was continue to provide you with meals and reminders to rest since you were practicing and needed energy to continue

At least that got you to pull away from work. The light in your eyes was soft and dimmed, but it was better than when you were first on the verge of breaking down like a broken doll

Like before, Charlie and the others asked about you from Alastor when he was cooking your meals. It was like the time when you first arrived in the hotel, that was when you were doing it of your own volitation with Alastor as your excuse. Now, it was because you were helping the hotel and got unwanted attention

When all of Vox’s devices were being ddelivered by Charlie, Vaggie, and Husk with a hypnotic resistance charm casted on them by you, you covered yourself in a blanket and drowned yourself in music

You were exhausted physically and mentally, you wanted to push yourself even more but you knew Alastor would be against it all the way and you don’t want to push him to do forceful thing just to make you see reason. You know Alastor would feel worse than you do because of his love and devotion towards you

At the thought of that, you feel even worse that you were treating Alastor do badly. Even worse, he’s seeing this pathetic side of you. What if he leaves you? What if he thinks you’re not worth it? What if—

A familiar rhythemic knocking on your door brought you out of your thoughts. Alastor’s muffle voice came through, “Beloved.” That nickname that melted your worries and comforted you, “I think there’s someone you should meet.”

You wondered who Alastor would just let into your room, even the hotel members didn’t get that luxury and that includes Niffty because Alastor handles the maintainance of your room all on his own. You trust Alastor, “Sure, come on in.”

The door opened and someone you’re unfamiliar with rushed in while Alastor stood guard at the door after closing it shut and locking it. “I’m Nemesis, I’m a big big fan of your work! Completely obsessed really! Oh my god! Or is it oh my Lucifer now? Anyways! It’s so good to finally meet you in the flesh! Well, not flesh flesh, but this afterlife is like another life, so~”

“Nemesis. As in like revenge? Enacting retribution?” You blinked at the name, it reminds you of Alastor’s since his meant tormentor, avenger, and persecutor. 

They got real close to your face as their smile spread, “Woah, truly the mind of a writer. You got my name reference.” They straightened up as they shrugged, “Other people, oops, demons only got that it’s Greek and hard to remember. Urgh, no class at all. They remember you by title too! Can you guess mine?”

Your eyebrow raised in confusion, you don’t know why this demon, Nemesis, was this causal with you. Though you figured that they had a talk with Alastor beforehand, that’s why Alastor even allowed them to be in here and talking with you. Even with close promixity

You observed Nemesis as they wanted. They were a snow leopard type of demon, with the fluffy ears on top of their head and tail behind them swishing like that of a cat’s. But you can’t tell whether it was just because it was their favourite animal, something they’re interested, or death related. Maybe something that they hate too, there was a sick irony in Hell

Your eyes traveled down to the row of white stielett-type weapons on their sides, they looked like giant dagger-sized needles but to you, they looked more like a pen. When Nemesis noticed your gaze, they took one from each side and started demonstrating to you how it was used like a performance

“The Dancing Needle.” Your lips moved and words came out before you knew it. At Nemesis’ frozen state and Alastor’s shocked face, you covered your mouth. “S—”

“How did you know?” Nemesis raved with shock, “You only observed too!”

You looked away, “It was nothing…”

Nemesis shook their head, “No way! It was amazing! If only I realized earlier…”

“Realized what?”

“That you’re the real author of that best selling novel that got so much attention.”

Nemesis went on to tell you. In the living world, they were Cecil and the editor for Karolina

During then, Cecil as an editor fell in love with the novels that Karolina had written. By some miracle, Cecil was given the chance to work as Karolina’s editor in the future and somewhat manager and caretaker since authors needed someone to ground them and since both were female, it was perfect

Over the years, Cecil noticed that Karolina was always attending public events and activities to boost popularity. It was normal, but to Cecil, it was weird that Karolina never actually sat down and written anything or researched for ideas. There was no burnout or ridiculous sleep schedules to follow and adapt to just to write a novel

Yet the requested writings were always provided and they were nearly to perfection, with minor grammar and some careless mis-spelling probably due to tiredness or being in the moment. It was an editor’s dream to work for someone like this. An author that’s famous and lively, and mostly punctual so nothing was forced or rushed to complete and do

But Cecil noticed the odd teachings and advices that Karolina would give to other people. There was nothing solid about it, it was all either the same old same old or just plain out weird to say. She had no accounts to retell, no personal examples to list. Yet she never asked Cecil for help

There was an interesting meeting that Karolina would always do. Whenever a deadline was near, Karolina would visit a friend of hers. Cecil thought it was for comfort and causal chatting at first, but every time she returns, there was more to tell on interviews and talk shows

To Cecil, it felt like someone was providing for Karolina

And Cecil was right. After the death of that friend, Karolina seemingly lost creativity and motivation. She lied on news channel that the novel was written for that friend to get through depression, she lied and painted herself as a caring and loving friend that wanted what’s best for that friend

Isn’t it odd that Karolina continues to sign contracts and appearances on screen regarding the novel? Some people requested for some detail clarification, but she denied them and said it was all secrets saved for her friend

Her friend this, her friend that. Everything was her friend, every excuse was her friend. So Cecil did some digging

Back when the first novel of the series was released, there was a buzz of a copycat that tried to steal Karolina’s work but failed. Cecil got her hands on that copy and read through it, the writing style was identicial to the later volumes that was published, the ideas that were cut off in this copy was in the later volumes

Cecil checked the statistics and comments, the first book had plotholes here and there, some even said it feels like things were missing here and there. But overall, it was still a good story. So there was a push to continue sequel to the first novel

Pages all dropped to the floor at the realization. That friend… That friend that Karolina was caring for… That friend had to be the real author of the books. It all made sense! Cecil searched online and found that that friend died, not by accident or sickness. No… Suicide…

An unfathomable rage and need for justice overtook Cecil and she was determined to see that Karolina suffers a slow and painful down. It was hard to pull it off, but somehow it was managed

Cecil pinned Karolina down with pens and cutters, then used daggers to stab all over her body without hitting any vitals. Cecil sliced words into her skin, ‘copycat’, ‘faker’, ‘liar’, ‘abuser’, and ‘murderer’. Then, Cecil decapitated Karolina’s head off of her body

Courtmeeting was given to Cecil where she used her chance to reveal it all. Who was the real author and who was the fake. Who was in the victim and who was the perpetator. Cecil announced that she is aware and admit that she done wrong, but if she could do it again, she would

The death sentence was passed down

Nemesis kneeled on their knees, looking up at you, tears flowing. “You suffered so much and no one knew or cared. Now they do, I’m included.” They held one of your hand, “So don’t knock yourself down, My Writer.”

Alastor took your other hand, placing a kiss on it, “We will deal with all your troubles so you can relax~ My Beloved.”

You can’t help but chuckled with a carefree closed-eye smile, “Oh you two…” But then your eyes snapped open and eyed the two, then focused on Nemesis. “Oh… There’s two of them now…”

Alastor and Nemesis eyed each other and smiled widely. “Whatever do you mean?”

Note: And that's the end of this arc~ Okay okay, I heard you guys loud and clear. No end yet cause you guys are willing to wait and read more. I'm taking a break from this series for a while to do other ones. But what do you think of this one?

Circe Y. 

My Works: MASTERLIST

Taglist: (those that don't specify to being in all the works' taglist will automatically be assumed to be in whichever series they comment on)

@aconfusedwonderland @crowleysthings @donustellaron @mistpurpl3 @lucifers-silhouette @fluffy-koalala @nevermore-ramblings @justboredforreal @youroneandonlysimp @falsemain @scenteddelusion5 @anni1600 @readergirlstuff @salutations-demonsanddappers @mistpurpl3 @haruskrd @biadoll21 @speedycoffeedelight @wendds @paninibit @emperatris-rinaka @lucifers-silhouette @an-idyllic-novelist @cyannese-rose @type-ink @saccharine-nectarine

[constantfragmentation]

HI FELLOW SILCO ENJOYER

What are your thoughts on the polycule theory of felicia-silco-vander? 👀

Whew... where to begin?

Fair warning, this is going to be a long assessment.

First off, I firmly believe (unless S2 Act 3 makes me eat my words), that the writers didn't realize Silco and Vander would become such popular characters. I don't think that was the plan. They were side characters meant to beef up the main stars Jinx and Vi. Rightly so. They were devised as parallels for Vi and Jinx throughout the story. And it was beautiful.

S1 was filled with little details that enhanced every part of the plot and character development through each act.

However, if S/V were so important, more care would have been put into their backstories, which have been kept pretty vague. And these so-called continuity mistakes/plotholes seem pretty big for a studio that has been meticulous in the details all through S1.

We meet Vander, who changes his life after seeing the kids lose their parents and adopts them. Vander is seen as the builder and leader of the Underground, and he seems to lead with the threat of who he used to be (until Sevika calls his ass out).

Silco is introduced as the mean baddie immediately via Vander/Benzo's conversation in E1.

"There's worse things than Enforcers out there. We both know that."

Then his full intro including an underground evil lair and mad scientist at the end of E1.

E2 leans into the same MO for Silco. Until finally coming to the best episode (IMO) in all of S1 and it's E3, where things come to light. But he's still evil, vicious and spares no one. Silco appears to have zero empathy and is filled with a deep seeded hate.

"Silco?! You animal! Go crawl back into whatever hole you came out of!"

S1E1-3 Silco completely paints him as terrible from the Underground's perspective. Silco - bad. Vander - good. Both Vander and Benzo see Silco as a dangerous threat. So does the rest of the Underground feel the same? Do they know about what happened to Silco by Vander's hands? Sevika chooses him because she lost faith in Vander as a leader.

So, that makes me wonder if Silco WAS the brains behind everything from their smuggling business and building up the Underground to the rebellion. Vander on his own, seemingly, isn't shit. He is the muscle. WIthout the brains, he doesn't haven much in planning so he turns to making a deal with Enforcers instead.

By S1E3, we start to see beyond the veil a bit. Vander tried to drown and murder Silco. Let's remember one thing. Vander didn't just try to shoot Silco or they got into a fist fight and things got out of hand.

He tried to DROWN him. There's no way Silco went with Vander to the river fearing his life. Now, whether they went to talk in private and it got heated, you still have to sit back and look at Young!Vander and think wtf?

He is painted the good guy from the beginning. A man with restraint and compassion, looking out for everyone and especially his 'kids'.

It takes will and strength to smother/drown a person. It is NOT a quick death, it's a slow and painful death. Vander's intent was to kill him. Not once, did Vander think in the minutes holding Silco underwater that damn, this is wrong or overkill? You don't flippantly say "I'll never forgive myself" for trying to murder you slowly. Now beating the shit out of him and ruining his eye, yeah, that would make more sense from Vander, knowing he probably turned Silco into this worse person and fucked up his face, vision forever.

The viewer is left to assume it was something so fucking bad, Vander had to kill to stop it. Plus, Silco is already painted as the bad guy, so we presume Vander was right in trying to kill him?

So, what was so bad that this course of action was required? Well, it's pretty damn vague. In all of E3, Felicia isn't mentioned or hinted at ONCE. Not once. If Vander tried to kill Silco because of her, why do we not learn about any of it?? That seems like a pretty important fact, yes? This is Vi/Jinx's mom and she was a close friend? I'd say that's important.

Nope. Silco drags Vander to his lair and waxes on about fighting Piltover and finally realizing his dream of a free Zaun by any means.

Vander tells Silco he's never forgiven himself for trying to kill him, but nothing else is added to it? We're left to believe that Silco was either too powerful and influential in Zaun or that he orchestrated the bridge fight (that Vander was still fighting until the kids arrive and they see their dead parents).

This grey area is why the fandom has spent years trying to decipher what was so bad that it tore two brothers apart with attempted murder.

We learn in S2, Vander apparently "looked everywhere" for Silco and then wrote him a letter in a mine, hoping Silco might come across it. Well, if your brother tried to murder you, I'd say you would stay far away from him and not venture to old places in case he might try it again? Sounds reasonable, yes?

So Vander just gave up trying to talk to Silco and explain everything for YEARS? By S1E1 he and Benzo know about Silco and probably know where he is and that he's up to no good obviously. So why haven't they talked once in years?

Vander said he was in a rage over Felicia's death. But I'm sorry, none of that makes much sense and frankly takes the fire out of what created the fracture between two friends.

I would have preferred Riot not explain than give us a half-assed backstory of three happy-go-lucky buddies and the death of one is the backbone of hate, distrust and betrayal.

Again, Silco said Vander BETRAYED him. If they were arguing about Felicia and her partner dying, leaving kids orphaned, I don't call that betrayal. Vander's letter sounds like an argument that got out of hand. You don't just accidentally drown your best friend for the greater good because your other friend died in a fight ALL of you were fighting. You knew people would get hurt and/or die. It's reality.

It just doesn't FIT. It doesn't fit these characters at all in the narrative from S1.

Another reason I believe Riot never intended to go further with Silco and Vander's backstory is in the animation. Like I said above, S1 was littered with little and amazing details that we, as the viewer, have been analyzing for years.

The drowning was a VERY young Silco and Vander. Vander clearly has a beard and looks much older on the bridge in E1. The flashback in E3 looks like it was 10 years earlier at LEAST. That would be around the time Vi was born or a toddler if we're estimating her age by S1E1 on the bridge.

Vander beat the shit out of him and then decided to kill him by drowning. THAT is a major choice to make. That is a vicious choice. So we do see Vander as being more violent in his youth. So if the drowning came AFTER the bridge, that also doesn't quite fit either. He takes the kids and chooses pacifism, yet soon after, he's murdering his best friend. AND he suddenly shaved and grew younger, because he wanted to look clean and pretty before killing his bestie?

Zero continuity here. Bad writing. If there was mistake due to animation, they should have changed the backstory to fit than ramrod something else that looks badly done and makes zero sense to your audience.

Personally, I wish the drowning was PRIOR to the bridge battle.

It would make more sense if Vander was having second thoughts while planning the bridge fight. Maybe a separate attack went wrong and he realized they were going to lose and many would die. Silco, maybe having more influence or threatening to show Vander as a coward to the people is what finally triggers Vander to kill him. In order to stop this, Silco needs to die and then maybe Vander can convince others the fight is already lost against a superior firepower.

To kill Silco in that manner, signals to me, Silco was a great threat. Which means to me, Vander either felt he was a threat to him (since Vander does become the power in the Underground - the Hound) or he is beginning to feel like this fight is pointless and will change nothing. People will die for nothing.

Making it all about Felicia, just takes the fire out of rift between these two men all these years.

Again, she's never mentioned.

Silco even reflects in S1E3 that he still respected Vander after the drowning until he learned Vander was working with Enforcers and basically made a deal with Topside to keep the peace. That continues his pathway as a rebel and he's going to take down Vander with it or use him "what you really are".

Silco knows how violent Vander was and he's going to use it with Shimmer.

If we go by S2 timeline, then both Silco and Vander would know Felicia's kids well before the bridge battle. in S1, Silco would know who Vi is, at least and be aware of Powder. He would know this by S1E3 when he says "Have you heard the rumour? Vander the coward fled town with his children and were never seen again."

Pretty callous talking about his other bestie's kids like that. Damn. If Silco cared for her, then wouldn't he spare her kids? I just don't see this was ever about Felicia. It doesn't fit. He really didn't flinch in having Vi or any of the kids killed. HER kids? I'm having a hard time with that one.

I've said before that in Silco's eyes, Vi is an extension of Vander. When he finds Powder and she cuts off Vi as her sister, Jinx becomes an extension of himself, thus HIS daughter. It's like Silco's last "fuck you" to Vander by taking Felicia's other daughter as his own.

Overall, I hope to hell it's not some love triangle. Or either man was in love or had a crush on her.

I read some fans saying since the flashbacks are Vander's in S2, we're seeing things from his perspective. I'm all for an unreliable narrator with characters because it keeps things open for interpretation.

But we would need to see this from Silco's perspective, too—not just the drowning/betrayal. Silco sees this as a major factor in the direction his character takes. It's a life-changing moment for him.

We also don't see any flashbacks to the years Silco took care of Jinx after Vander's death. If he knew Jinx's mom, wouldn't that come up? Wouldn't that be something Jinx would remember and influence her?

In S2, she reminisces a few memories of her mom like nothing has happened since. She and Vi act like nothing really happened between them. By the end of S1, the sisters diverge when Jinx decides who she will be. It's Jinx, not Powder. She knows Silco loved her and, more importantly, accepted her for who she was. She was perfect in his eyes.

Plus, Vander's trio flashback seems odd in both animation and backstory choices. Silco looks VERY different than his flashback of the drowning. His hair is much longer (man bun), he has a widow's peak he doesn't have later (weird). He appears to care for Felicia and happy for her being a mom. They made him more physically attractive and older than the flashback in S1E3.

Vander doesn't look like the younger version in Silco's drowning flashback. He looks older too. Animation choices were made that don't match the continuity of the previous season.

We're assuming their smuggling business is doing well if Felicia talks about the Underground being much better for everyone. Are we still giving Vander full credit for that? S1 implies Vander built the Underground both from Grayson and Zaunites.

Silco jokes he is "Bozo #1". To me, he is joking but not in saying he's the mastermind in this duo. Without him, Vander's just a brute.

I'm not sure of Vi's age by S1E1, but maybe she's 10 or 12? So prior to the battle unless a fallout happened with Vander and Silco, why don't we see Silco with the kids? Why do the kids act like they don't know him? If they were such a tight trio with Felicia, why only Vander with the kids?

He fought at the bridge knowing Felicia had two young kids that could be orphaned and was still fighting when the kids showed up. He already knew Felicia was dead but was still fighting.

If her death was too much, why didn't he stop then? The kids appreance stopped him. Okay. I get that. But we don't see Silco anywhere on that bridge, does he know she dead? Is he still fighting? Where is he?

This whole polycule feels like they had to throw it in somewhere but didn't adequately explain it to match the motivations of the characters we have known and studied. It opens more plothole questions than it answers. It creates more problems that did not need to be there.

If Felicia wasn't that important to expand on last season, why do it now and do it poorly that contradicts characterizations already laid down in the whole previous season?

I'll say it again and again: Riot did not plan for it. They didn't think Vander and especially Silco would be so popular, and fans would demand to know more about them.

Plus, another thing that kind of bugged me:

When Vi is embracing Warwick/Vander and tells Jinx "He's your dad too."

Yeah, it's a nice moment, but it's a shit on Silco too. Technically, didn't JInx have more years with Silco than Vander? She saw Silco as her father (although not the best), accepted her, encouraged her skills, gave her important jobs, wouldn't give her up and called her perfect in his dying words.

I guess fuck that dad, right? He is evil dad and now he's dead, doesn't matter anymore.

Did anyone else feel like Jinx turned back into Powder this season? The kicker in S1, is that she CHOSE to be Jinx. IDK. The sisters were real quick to hook back up after everything.

As I've said before, they needed maybe three seasons if they were going this route. No character is getting enough time this season for good story-telling and character development. Too much is getting crammed in one season and it's sad because there is SO much story to work with.

I, for one, would watch another season of these characters. You could take time to explain the Black Rose and Mel's story. Ekko has nothing this season. Jayce doesn't have much. There's very little explaining and too many new questions that won't get answered in one season.

Vi became an Enforcer for half a second. Granted Caitvi only knew each other for maybe a week so for their 'relationship' to fall apart doesn't surprise me. But Cait bouncing back and forth. Jinx bouncing back immediately after Silco's death doesn't make sense since he wasn't the cause of her mental illness.

"Silco didn't create Jinx. You did."

Sister's bond quickly like nothing happened between them. Sevika is suddenly on Jinx's side with little work considering they disliked each so much.

Intro of a new character, Isha.

Viktor turns into Jesus and hangs out in the Big Bang with Sky. I was waiting for Machine Herald and got Jesus Herald.

Ambessa could have a better story but again, I think they needed at least one more season to flesh everything out. It's all too fast and packing way too much into one season of plot for so many characters. The sister's reunion is too fast. We don't get enough info on Warwick yet.

I hope, but they can't tie all this up in three more episodes.

Sorry for the mental vomit, but I've been thinking about this all week, and now it's out like verbal diarrhea. Even though I've enjoyed this season, I can't help but feel disappointed. S1 was so much better.

[ilikekidsshows]

Hi again, lololol. This is ask number 3

Was rewatching the Paris Special, forgot that alt!Marinette straight-up tried to use the wish to take our Marinette's place. She didn't hesitate, stole Claw Noir's miraculous as soon as she read about the wish in Marinette's diary (note: she also learned there's always a price to pay). The only reason it didn't work was because the Supreme interfered.

Obviously she's a "villain" version of our protag, so I'm not trying to necessarily say this reflects 1:1 on what our Marinette would do, but I still find it...compelling evidence. She's still the same person, the main difference between her and our Marinette is that she doesn't have a support network (as per her words: no kind mother, no best friend, no girlfriends, no supportive partner). So...put Marinette in a crappy enough situation, and precedent shows she'll go for it, potential consequences be damned (remember: she knows about the balance required by the wish/price to pay).

As for alt!Adrien...he's definitely on board with the idea of making the wish once he learns about it (though whether he knows about the price at this point is unclear). However, he gives up pretty quickly once our Adrien tells him someone else would have to lose their mother instead. Sure, Claw Noir doesn't really seem the type to care about collateral damage, as cataclysm-happy as he is. But the fact that he changes his mind after learning this? Gives up "the only thing [he wants]"? I can only conclude that even a villain!Adrien ultimately stops when he realizes the wish would cause another person pain (even if it meant he could alleviate his own). Baring complete character assassination, you cannot convince me Adrien would ever go all Hawk Moth

As it stands, alt!Marinette attempted the wish despite being aware of the consequences and only was stopped by a greater power. She later changes her mind because Marinette tells her to love herself and the world. Alt!Adrien changes his mind when he is given full context and learns the wish would harm someone else (and was encouraged to go out and make friends).

Ultimately Adrien and Marinette are both heroes/narratively the good guys, so I believe neither would actually go through with the wish. But if I had to chose, based on their respective personalities and precedent, my money's on Marinette.

(Also wasn't sure where to put this, but to clarify why immortality came up in someone else's ask, I did mention it briefly in my original ask, as a new flavor of the "Adrien can't live without Marinette/he'd use the wish" rhetoric. I didn't go into it at the time, but I was reacting to a poll I came across that was asking who would handle immortality without the other better. More people voted for Marinette, so I was feeling salty lololol. The true answer IMO is a secret third option, that both would heal. Immortality is...a long time)

---

Oh, I must have tunnel visioned over the immortality part of the ask. Tends to happen sometimes. But yeah, it's pretty much expected that the fandom thinks Marinette is the more resilient one between herself and Adrien because the writers are trying to get you to think like that despite all evidence to the contrary. Marinette can't make it past a single season without going through multiple emotional crises, while Adrien can just deal with anything done to him outside of literal mind control. In addition, not viewing Marinette as unforgivable for the gaslighting requires you to at least somewhat buy into the idea that Marinette's “good intentions” are an acceptance excuse, that shielding Adrien's supposed fragile mental state is important.

And, yeah, while I do think Marinette would have a harder time coping, she also has a well-established ability to get new members into her support network with ease. Marinette would find new people to lean on as she lost the previous ones, easily. It's what happened with the transition from Socquoline to Alya. Over half the cast is catering to her comfort. She’d be fine eventually, she’d just have a harder time getting there than Adrien.

The thing about the wish is, the writers are once again inconsistent and make the wish’s morality unclear. It was wrong for Shadybug and Claw Noir to want to make it, but Gabriel making a wish led to a happy utopian ending for season 5, and, like, I don't think the writers mean to undo it because our protagonist in the protagonist-centered morality show is happy as a clam. And, because of Marinette's Keeping Secrets Arc, the characters aren't discussing why Gabriel gets a free pass ro make a wish. Is it because he ultimately made a selfless wish to sacrifice himself instead of anyone else? But neither the characters nor the audience know what he wished for, probably to use the wish to handwave future retcons and inconsistencies away, so we can't actually know it was selfless. So, if making the wish isn't inherently bad, it must have been that Shadybug’s specific wish was wrong, which was to steal main Marinette's happy life, or the nature of the sacrifice. I’m pretty sure the writers wouldn't go so far in their morally confused writing as to make Marinette sacrifice someone else to get Adrien back. If she could sidestep that cost, though, she’d be all for it, because apparently rebooting the world is an okay thing to do as long as you don't (seemingly) hurt anyone doing it.

I think that's also the reason it's seen as a valid thing to question which of our characters would go to such extreme extents for the other; the show completely trivialized the wish because the writers thought the Gabriel arc absolutely had to end with us seeing how it works (even as they then failed to actually show us how it works because they want to keep Gabriel's exact wish in their utility belt or for the sake of pointless mystique). I think the question people thinking about this were actually thinking was: “which of these two would do a dangerous thing and rewrite reality to get the other back?” and not “which of these two would sacrifice an actual person to get the other back?” In that scenario, Marinette wouldn't even hesitate. But, with an actual exchange involved, I think Marinette wouldn't ultimately go through with it, but would go further than Adrien before coming to her senses, like what happened with Shadybug and Claw Noir. Like, if we're not meant to see Marinette as someone who’d go to extreme extents to stop her unhappiness, they shouldn't have made two Marinette parallels almost do it.

[dadattebayo]

You know what guys…

I just watched this teaser for the final episode, and of course I am thrilled and blown away by Sauron's maniac face telling he is gonna rape his preciousssss eat Galadriel alive

oh fuck help me i can´t

BUT

I still have something to say. Like okay, i get it, all this unspoken sexual tension and stuff between them, and kinda obvious crazy thirst for her in his creepy face - all could be fine by me except the one tiny detail. What we can see more in this teaser is another freaking kiss that is going to happen this time between Isildur and his girl sorry I forgot her name,

so what’s really pissing me off is that so far we would have 4 kisses in the show and basically these are 4 KISSES NO ONE ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT.

1. Harfoots. Who cares about the hobbits kissing scene? Like what the hell was it for? Does someone for real ship them? Was this kiss important to the story?

Fucking NO.

2. Elrond and Galadriel. Totally unnecessary. No one expected this and no one would want this to happen actually. Especially considering the fact he eventually just put the key into her hand without any special use of his mouth required.

Okay I get it can explained he wanted to distract the orcs, but anyway, somehow the writers did came up with this particular idea!

3. Arondir and Bronwin. Totally fine by me except she´s dead now.

4. Now Isildur and Estrid (I remembered the name).

At first I was blind enough watching the teaser to think it was Halbrand so I got a mini stroke.

Pretty sure once we will see Elendil/Miriel kissing too. Of course I do not mind any of these kisses happening, I even ship some of them but still these are not something the whole fandom is waiting for.

There is literally only one kiss EVERYONE is expecting. Not only the haladriel shippers, but everyone (some might want it to happen, some might not, but it would not be a surprise for anyone) since in fact nobody has ever asked for Saurondriel in the first place, it was totally up to the showrunners to literally just start pushing this ship into our throats from their first meeting using all scrupulously planned moments between them throughout the season 1 and countless hints and moments of nostalgia in the season 2! God, they even invented the whole Mirdania character just to prove Sauron´s feelings (and of course to show his cruelty later, but thats not the point)

guess where the kiss should have happened if they hadn't been interrupted

The writers made this ship up consciously and intentionally. THEY HAVE BEEN FEEDING US WITH HALADRIEL SINCE THE BEGINING,

So why the fuck this couple which has always been promoted in such obvious way is the only one that is not likely to get a goddamn kiss?! At this point i would rather believe that even Stranger and Nori would kiss, but not Saurondriel.

This is disturbing. BECAUSE EXCUSE ME WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT 2 MORE YEARS to get the s3. I am not still quite sure though cause there is still no official announcement on s3

So, they all have already messed up enough with the original plot by putting some of the kisses mentioned above in the series, so why just not let also Saurondriel finally happen? What difference would it make anyway? none! all plot holes will all be fixed thanks to impossibility to fix sauron.

I am just fed up with another 'LETS TOUCH THE DARKNESS TOGETHER', "NO NEVER', 'DIE BECAUSE OF ME', BLABLA...

It needs something better to get us screaming and making views to the show.

[swordandscytheandpen]

Finished Guide. I have thoughts.

Mostly positive ones. I have nitpicks, sure, but it's damn near impossible to write a fully satisfying resolution to a three million word story. EE did an insanely good job considering.

Akua was one of the highlights, of course. Her arc was indeed probably the single best redemption story I've ever seen. The pivot in Praes, in particular, was amazingly compelling ("why was she not hearing the song?" hit me HARD). @kvothbloodless once responded to my tags while I was in the middle of Book 2, assuaging my skepticism that a character as remarkably hateable as Akua could have a well-executed redemption arc, and I gotta say her confidence was well-placed. It's a testament to EE's character writing skills that a character who is not only morally monstrous but immensely personally unlikeable could be turned around like this. I'll make fun of Guide's length, of course, but I don't think an arc like this could be handled so well in a work of reasonable length. It's a strength both of the writer and the medium, I suppose.

Her final fate, like most of the cast's, was a pretty solid conclusion to her character arc as well. Really followed through on the narrative's refusal to entertain redemption through death, while still being a surprise, unlike the whole Dead-King's-jailor thing. The dynamics of that particular fate on her character had already been explored through her and Cat's thoughts several times, so it's nice to see something different, instead of just watching the original plan play out with rings instead of a crown.

Same goes for a lot of the other characters. Viv and Indrani had excellent conclusions. Masego and Hakram I'm not dissatisfied with, though I do have minor points of umbrage. Hakram's arc might just have gone past me a little bit; I feel that if he has to be tied so tightly to the Clans as a whole he really needed more foreshadowing connecting him to his home. Instead, it felt a little bit like a family-conquers-all story shoved in with only justification in the moment, which ain't really my cup of tea. More specifically, it felt like the narrative required him to have deeply-held goals that he could go be independent about, but forgot to actually touch on those goals until he'd already left Catherine. Still, just a mild disappointment.

Then we've got Masego, and my take on him is similar in that it's broadly satisfying but I just feel like it doesn't fit in certain ways. In his case, it's mostly the apotheosis: the edges of that particular puzzle piece seem rough, as if EE had something else in mind but swapped it out relatively late in the process. There was some hinting that his dream of godhead would result in conflict with Cat, and then they just... didn't do that. Then in the epilogues, it really seems like his apotheosis hadn't made much impact on who he is or what he does. His part of the epilogue would have been just as suitable, to my eyes, if he hadn't achieved that. So it fell flat a little bit, which took some of the wind out of his ending. Everything else about him was great though.

Catherine's ending took the longest for me to think through. At first I was a bit ambivalent about it, 'cause it felt like nothing was really subverted. Minus a few hiccups, she got everything she wanted. Cardinal. The Liesse Accords. Even all the Woe surviving. The only thing she didn't get was Akua, and she already knew that wasn't on the table. I really just did not expect a straightforward Catherine Wins ending to the Guide. I thought she'd probably die at least; in fact, I thought the most likely outcome was Cat's death and her goals being posthumously realized! This story sure felt like a tragic ending was coming down the pipes!

And then once again, I remembered that this is a story about stories. What Cat has isn't just a happy ending, it's one last victory over the narrative. It's a middle finger to the idea that villains don't get to sail off into the sunset. And you know, it really takes some strength to put a fresh coat of paint on the very idea of a happy ending. So yeah, Cat's ending is great. Just perfect.

But of course, there's no way to wrap up three million words while satisfying every single plot point. So, keeping in mind that APGTE is probably among my top 5 written works in the English language now, I do have a point or two of order.

First off, towards the end, Named were dying like flies. Felt like every chapter had a list of casualties all its own. And I can see the drive to do that; there were a lot of Named involved by that point and there had to be casualties. It keeps the stakes high and the villains scary. But I can't help but feel discouraged from reading once six characters I'm somewhat engaged with die in the span of two chapters. Mostly offscreen.

The biggest offender here was the Painted Knife's band. I really loved the bonus chapter about their backstories, as well as the concept of them as the first band containing both heroes and villains, and I'd wish we'd seen nore of how that relationship developed. And I thought it was a weighty enough label that they'd shot up again later. So when it was mentioned offhand that the Royal Conjurer was killed, I was blindsided a little bit. And then the rest died, one by one, offscreen (except the Knife). Poor Poisoner. She was my favorite. Felt like wasted potential, like a story that wasn't followed through to the end. The Blade of Mercy was in a similar boat. He was important in the Arsenal arc! Let him die onscreen at least!

There was Roland too, who wasn't as bad. His death wasn't really satisfying, another surprise Hawk casualty, but at least it was shown and meaningful. Still, I feel like he deserved a proper character arc outside his backstory. Poor guy.

A couple other deaths, too: Rafaella and Alexis in the fight against the Dead King. Rafaella was ambiguous enough that I really wasn't sure whether she was dead for a while, and even after... I dunno. The hero who killed Captain needed a stronger resolution than "sacrificed herself to get rid of the Dead King's last line of revenants." Then Alexis's death just wasn't meaningful; it wasn't for anything. And I know, I know, that's not how death works, but it is in stories! Didn't feel right. It was too fast.

But the Keter deaths were really my biggest gripe, and if that's the biggest problem I have with a conclusion to a story that long? I can only offer applause.

You know what death I didn't have a problem with? Hanno, in the epilogue. How the hell do you kill a character that major in just a few sentences and make it feel satisfying? The epilogues were just all-around great. The character deaths and resolutions felt natural, plot points that were touched on in the main story were shown to ultimately be left to the next generation, and the continued history and development of the world made it feel so alive. It's a common sin for characters to create a new static world that's supposed to feel like it'll last forever. And sure, the framework of the Accords are kinda like that, but the rest of the world? There are still wars, still conflicts, still upheavals. (The Republic of Orense was a nice touch in that regard.) The epilogues are nearly flawless and I will stand by that.

Last thing - of course I gotta talk about Anaxares. When Yara dropped him into the Serenity, I was pretty hyped about it. But then... I dunno. It turned out a bit flat. Felt less like the culmination of Anaxares's character and more like a plot device to cross the Serenity out of the equation. At the end of the day, with Anaxares sitting in the Serenity through the final battle and then appearing in the epilogues just to pop up years in the future, cause problems, and run off again, he felt weirdly like a sequel hook? And forgive me, but I'd eat my hat if there's a sequel. I guess it's imagination bait, which is certainly preferable to a poorly-executed conclusion. He's still my favorite non-Cat character. If there's any decent fic about him, please give it.

Speaking of, that's all I've got. Looking back up, this was mostly petty complaints, but I wanna be clear: once the first few books were past and EE broke their worst writing habits, this became one of my favorite writing pieces ever. The length and the proliferation of typos and other errors mean that I'd hesitate to fullthroatedly recommend it to anyone, but it's one of those works that has permanently altered my brain. Good fucking book.

Okay, Pale Lights time. Hopefully I'll catch up before Book 3 comes to an end, but I'm not gonna rush. Rapidly chewing through ridiculously long works is not, I have learned, conducive to getting the most enjoyment out of them.

[chiaseedlingwithlove]

Arcane S2 Rant (Felicia and her Daughters)

This is just a rant off the dome about the inclusion of Felicia into the arcane s2 narrative and why the show massively fumbled it imo

I may be reaching but something about Arcane s2 that really rubbed me the wrong way was that the narrative made it lowkey feel like Jinx was more Felicia's daughter than Vi was.

There are countless visual and character parallels made between Jinx and Felicia (especially in episode 5 and 7) isn't inherently bad but when coupled with the fact that Vi has none; it doesn't sit right with me.If anything, Vi should be more like Felicia because she knew her longer and yet we see a majority of Felicia's legacy through Jinx instead. From mannerisms to looks to philosophy, it's all from a woman that Jinx most likely does not remember vividly.

also the inclusion of Silco partially taking Powder in because she is Felicia's daughter like Vi isn't equally her daughter. Now knowing how close Silco was to Felicia AND young Vi makes it so much more sinister the lengths he went to cause her harm knowing full well who she is. Like he wanted that girl DEAD and yet is implied to have cared for Felicia and her children as Vander did ABSOLUTELY NOT. I can no longer accept the argument that Silco saw Vi as more Vander's child than Felicia's when Jinx spent the same amount of time and her more formative childhood development years with him...

I wish we had gotten one of the childhood flashbacks from Vi's point of view (we already have countless flashbacks on Vi's part of Caitlyn and Vander, what's one more of her actual mother) because she was a ful 10 years old when Felicia dies and yet we never really see her mention it. Especially with how much we see Caitlyn deal with the loss of her mother, it would have been really insightful for Vi to take about losing her own mother in a similar fashion just on the otherside of the war (but this would require the writers to not be cowards and actually have meaningful and challenging, nuanced conversations between Vi and other characters... the writers really did not like doing that this season). Ideally, I think the flashback should have happened at the end of epsiode 9 when Vander dies again -- in this, I think it should have been a flashback of ALL the things people Vi has lost at this point (Felicia, her father, vander, mylo, claggor, her youth, powder, warwick, etc...) but the narrative doesn't allow vi to have these moments of vulnerability so i guess not.

Alas, I think that the inclusion of Felicia was entirely for Jinx's benefit which is really disappointing because I feel like a lot of things were also done for her benefit when the story is about two sisters, not about a girl and her sister's girlfriend while the sister in question is left to simply react to their actions.

[cupkakie]

War of the Rohirrim thoughts:

Overall, I would say that I quite enjoyed stepping back into the world of LOTR (and it would be impossible for a single film to live up to the atmosphere of the original trilogy) it was a relief to see that, despite a few deviations/flaws, you can tell there was a lot of care and respect for the source material from those involved.

I only wish they provided more of a historical context as to the disparity or ongoing conflict between the Dunlendings and the Rohirrim to give more depth to the 'contract' or marriage proposal that eventually goes awry. I also wish that they fleshed out Wulf more and I think reducing him, even jokingly to an "incel" (or even reducing the character of Héra under a label) doesn't do justice to their characters. Wulf could have been more of a compelling villain and the fact that his late father's general (a new character in the story of the movie) placed some measure of faith in his rulership, points to that possibility. But, I guess it's also realisitic that he fumbled those grand ambitions (if there was a tiny seedling of that in his quest of revenge) in the end. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that General Tark (?) had more nuance than just throwaway supporting villain.

Apart from one major plot deviation concerning how the conflict is resolved, some may take issue, but with the choice of how the story was more Hera focused at that point, I'm not sure how the writers could have made it align with how it really concluded according to the book. I'm also not sure if the writers intended to open up the question I had been wondering before this was film was released about "deeds remembered in history" and added to that with "who" and "how" these tales are recorded or passed down generations. It is mentioned in Appendix A of RotK that "[m]any lords and warriors, and many fair and valiant women are named in the songs of Rohan [...] (Tolkien 424). So, it's not far-fetched to think there could have been such a story about Hera but it was never written down or recorded as such, and the story as Éowyn tells it may have survived only orally through song.

There was no "girlbossery" to be found in Héra if ROP's "Galadriel" is an exemplary model of that regurgitated toxic trope. She had her strengths and weaknesses and cared deeply for her family and for her people.

I enjoyed the familial relationships we saw, though I wish there was more, especially of Fréaláf. I wish we could've gotten more on his situation in Dunharrow during the Long Winter and how and why it was difficult to secure aid for the refugees in the Suthberg (Hornburg later named after Helm Hammerhand).

As to the allegations that may be out there that Helm is a "Gary Stu" , I think he's more akin to the mythic characters like Beowulf or Gilgamesh; just an epic, larger than life character --and I think the medium of animation did that mythic hyperbole justice, and live-action would require some kind of creative framing to suspend the disbelief of the audience.

For me, the movie had the potential to be more, but I still enjoyed it, coming away with loving Rohan and the Rohirrim all the more, especially Fréaláf, who may hearken back to another horse-lord, but is not a "copy-paste" of him, just as Hera is not a facsimile of Éowyn (though I do wish they had given her a more Anglo-Saxon inspired name).

TLDR; if you enjoyed the trilogy/ hated the travesty that is ROP, you will most likely enjoy this movie.

(Also, kudos to the voice-acting, especially Luke Pasqualino.)

[disasterarea-podcast]

So given the writer’s strike, some people are concerned about their shows and movies being postponed or canceled, and aside from the fact networks have already BEEN canceling shows for no reason for years (I still maintain a healthy anger about what Netflix did to Sense8), I thought I would suggest some books on disasters you might want to read if you’re into that sort of history. Which you are if you’re here, I imagine.

Note: I’m suggesting these books because most books on disasters don’t get a huge audience, and so I recommend them because this sort of writing can be hard on the writer and requires a bunch of research. We throw so much money at true crime, we can spare a few bucks for the stories of people who died in disasters.

Also, please check with these with your local small bookstore or library. Amazon can be great, but let’s lend a hand to those who need us more.

Recommended books:

“The Circus Fire,” by Stewart O’Nan - This is one my favorite books on a disaster, because the whole thing creates a very vivid image of the circus prior to the fire in Hartford in July of 1944. There’s one specific line in the book which always makes me pause because it’s so affecting, about how everyone who escaped being able to hear the sounds of the animals screaming as they died - except all of the animals were out of the tent by then.

“The Only Plane in the Sky,” by Garrett Graff - This, I highly recommend you get on audiobook. It’s an oral history of the events of 9/11 with a full cast, and it’s incredibly affecting to listen to.

“Ada Blackjack: A True Story of Survival in the Arctic,” by Jennifer Niven - Ada Blackjack was a badass: flawed and weak at times, but hardy and steady when necessary. Half of her story is how she survived, but half is how she was exploited following her rescue. Both stories need to be known.

“Alive,” by Piers Paul Read - If you’re watching “Yellowjackets,” this should be required reading. If you’ve seen the movie adaptation from the 90s, there is WAY more you don’t know. The story of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 is a tough read, but a worthy one.

“A Night to Remember,” by Walter Lord - This is to disaster nonfiction what “In Cold Blood” is to true crime. It’s not a long read, but it’s a great one. Lord had the advantage of writing the book while many of the Titanic survivors were still alive and could give a very good description of what they went through.

“Dying to Cross,” by Jorge Ramos - I recommend this not just because it is good, but because it is timely. Nineteen people died in an un-air-conditioned truck as they were attempting to make their way into the states from over the Mexican border. It’s a horrific story, and one that humanizes an issue for whom some people need to be faced with the humans involved and what they go through.

“Bath Massacre: America’s First School Bombing,” by Arnie Bernstein - Harold Schecter also wrote a very good book on the Bath school massacre called “Maniac,” but I have a preference for this version. It’s a good reminder that schools in the U.S. didn’t just become targets in the last twenty years or so.

“Into Thin Air,” by Jon Krakauer - I feel like this is a gimme, but it’s a fantastic book from someone who was actually on Mount Everest during the 1996 disaster and knew those involved very well. I happen to like Krakauer’s work anyway - I even like “Into the Wild” despite my feelings about McCandless and his legacy - but it’s understandably my favorite.

“And the Band Played On,” by Randy Shilts - The one thing I will say is that Shilts’ treatment of Gaetan Dugas is *rough* to say the least and outright wrong on some points, God knows. But it’s still an amazing book, and if you come out of it not wanting to dig up Reagan and punch him a bunch I’m impressed at your restraint.

“Triangle: The Fire That Changed America,” by David von Drehle - The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire is one of the disasters I am most interested in, and I would argue this is the definitive book on the subject. Also, if this book introduces you to both Clara Lemlich and Frances Perkins … I mean, talk about badass women.

“The Radium Girls,” by Kate Moore - Look, I’ll say this. If you know of the Radium Girls, this is a great book on their story. If you don’t know, go in blind and prepared to be horrified.

“Red Famine: Stalin’s War on Ukraine,” by Anne Applebaum - Ukraine has always been a target. During the Holodomor, they were victims of one of the worst genocides in history.

“Midnight in Chernobyl,” by Adam Higginbotham - Like the miniseries? This is a great source for more information for what happened at Chernobyl and all of the ass-covering involved.

"Boston Strong: A City's Triumph Over Tragedy," by Casey Sherman and Dave Wedge - If you’re interested in the Boston marathon bombing, I really thought this book did a good job of connecting the stories of the victims, the authorities searching for the killers, and the killers themselves.

“Show Me the Bodies: How We Let Grenfell Tower,” by Peter Apps - As I understand it, Apps did a lot of covering the Grenfell Tower fire for the British press, and it shows. He provides a mountain of information, and you will come out of reading this book absolutely LIVID about what authorities allowed to happen in Grenfell and so many other council estates in the UK.

“Dark Tide: The Great Molasses Flood of 1919,” by Stephen Puleo - I feel as though the molasses flood gets treated like a joke a lot of the time, but y’all, twenty people died. That area of Boston was *wrecked*. The photos of the devastation are terrifying. Puleo treats all of this with the proper respect it deserves.

“In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex,” by Nathaniel Philbrick - Forget the movie. Read the book.

“The Great Influenza,” by John M. Barry - Want to read about the 1918 flu epidemic? Want to be mad that a hundred years later we didn’t learn a damn thing?

Now, that’s just a start. If anyone wants, I can always post photos of my disaster book collection on Kindle and next to my recording desk. Or if there’s a specific disaster you’re interested in, I may know of a good book about it you can read.

But just remember if SAG and the directors’ guild joins the strike too - there is so much out there to occupy your time until they come back. Entertainment work is work, and it deserves to be supported financially and fairly as such. Rock on, WGA. ✊

[frodothefair]

Time for another episode of Nisilë's writing wisdom?

Time for another episode of Nisilë's writing wisdom.

Today's piece of writing advice was inspired by something I saw on a fanfiction writers' community, and, granted, what I am about to say is only my opinion, but it is a well considered one. Here goes.

If you are writing characters who speak a foreign language or exist in a bilingual environment, please, for the love of all that is good and holy, do not write entire sentences in a foreign language, and please LIMIT your use of words and phrases in that language.

Here's why.

First of all, if you don't speak said language yourself, unless you get a native speaker to help you, you run a very high risk of sounding foolish and making readers who know the language roll their eyes. Secondly, you have a good chance of annoying and confusing readers who don't know the language. Even if you include footnotes or a glossary, having to frequently check what a word means will interrupt the flow of reading, which can be destructive to the enjoyment of the piece. I recently read The Glassmaker by Tracy Chevalier, and it suffered from an overuse of words in Italian and Muranese. It just about made me want to throw the book against the wall, because yes, there was an extensive glossary, but I was not about to keep flipping back and forth every other page. I wasn't trying to learn Italian from the book, and I was not reading it as a scholarly work -- I was simply trying to enjoy the flow of the story, and in the end, the Italian and Muranese was not immersive; it was annoying.

Now, here's a caveat. There are some examples in published literature where the author uses a foreign language extensively and it actually aligns with their goals.

One is Leo Tolstoy -- his works have entire sentences, dialogues and even passages in French, but there is a reason for this. His target audience, the Russian aristocracy at the time, was in fact bilingual. Many spoke French better than they did their native language. In that time and place, what he was doing was perfectly fine and acceptable.

Another is Umberto Eco, who uses Latin liberally in The Name of the Rose, and explicitly refuses to provide translations. (Interestingly, you can buy a companion book called The Key to the Name of the Rose, which provides all the translations, but this book has no affiliation with the original). Now, Eco's choice was deliberate: he explained that he wanted to create an atmosphere to discombobulation and confusion for the reader. He wanted the reader to feel as if he or she was literally transported back in time to a Medieval Italian monastery. If the reader already knows Latin, that is an asset for them as a time traveler; if not, they are on their own.

But unless you are explicitly writing for a bilingual audience like Tolstoy, or trying to create an atmosphere of opacity and discombobulation like Eco, my advice stands.

Which begs the question, how do you use a foreign language to better effect?

Here's what I would suggest.

Pick a small number of words or short phrases in the foreign language. Keep it to a number you imagine is manageable to remember without putting in a lot of effort -- perhaps, if you've ever learned a new language, think of how many words you could comfortably remember in one sitting. What kind of words? I suggest:

greetings

exclamations of strong emotion

curses

terms of endearment

honorifics

specific terms of art or cultural concepts that are not easily translatable

You may use those words as you see fit throughout the text.

If there's a shift in the use of language that requires more words than the above, simply highlight the fact that what's being said is said in a different language. This is common in bilingual environments. I could make a separate post with examples of how to do this, but briefly, shifts in language may occur if:

a character specifically wants another to understand -- or not understand

formal vs informal communication

being emotional or feeling the need to speak more quickly

being sincere vs being disingenuous (hello, Tolstoy's use of French)

a character simply lacking the vocabulary in a specific language to discuss a certain issue, so either slipping into a different language entirely or using specific words as a "crutch" (very common for bilingual characters - their strengths and weaknesses may vary depending on the topic discussed)

@emmathefanficgal, @konartiste, other multilingual moots/followers, anything to add? I am genuinely curious.

[jackhues]

Oou can we get like a reader and barzy go out to the bar and some girl is hitting on him and the reader gets mad at him but he doesn’t see what’s the problem because he didn’t go home with the girl please give happy ending lol

the one - mat barzal

ooh, love this! the ending was a little tough bcz as a reader, i love happy endings, but as a writer i love angsty endings loll

warnings: angstish with happy ending, alcohol, swearing (i think i can't remember)

gif not mine but the split second of eye contact is killing me

"oops."

that was the single word that had ruined your entire night.

you never thought that a clumsy girl walking by you and your boyfriend at the bar, tripping over nothing would make you this mad.

but you'd had four drinks already, bringing out what your friends liked to call 'angry-y/n'. anything anyone did around you while you had four drinks in your system tended to make you mad, even if it wasn't even serious.

and this wasn't serious.

not until she began to flirt shamelessly with your boyfriend as if you weren't even there. you fumed silently as she stepped closer, reaching out to place a hand on his bicep. she ran her hand up and down his arm, and instead of being mad, mat just seemed to think that was fine.

"okay, that's enough," you said to her, placing your drink down and moving her hand off of mat.

"excuse me?" she made a face. "can't you see i'm trying to have a conversation with him?"

"conversations don't require you to be all up over my boyfriend," you responded. "now get lost."

"woah, woah," mat stepped between you guys. "let's just calm down. it's not that big of a deal, y/n."

"not that big of a deal," you repeated with a scoff. "she was literally groping you, mat."

"no she wasn't," mat insisted. "we were just having a conversation."

"yeah, y/n," the other repeated. "a normal conversation that you're intruding in."

"intruding? yeah, i'm not doing this today," you threw some bills down on the table to pay for your drinks, before shouldering your purse and stomping out.

if mat wanted to have a lovely conversation with that girl, you're not gonna stop him.

you stormed out the doors and down the street, beyond annoyed at mat, and that girl, and the fact that mat had the car keys and you had to walk all the way home in your heels.

you wiped the angry tears that were starting to blur your vision, just trying your best to take deep breaths so you wouldn't break down in the middle of the street.

"y/n! y/n, slow down!"

footsteps sounded behind you, until mat appeared next to you, adjusting himself so he was between you and the road.

"what's wrong? why are you so upset?" he asked, stopping you.

"why am i upset?" you repeated. "mat that girl had her hands all over you, she - she was--"

"she isn't the one i'm going home with," he interrupted, catching your elbow and pulling you close. "you, you're the one i'm going with, you're the one i'm always gonna go home to. not her, not anyone else who starts hitting on me." he tapped the crown of your head, "it's you, it's always you."

"promise?" you asked, leaning into mat's embrace and placing your forehead against him.

"you're the one," he promised.

-

tags : @woodruff-edwards , @austinbutlerscaresme ,  @svechnikovvv ,  @hockeyboysarehot , @emptyflowerpots ,  @mysticaldonkey , @lam-ila ,  @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy  ,  @kjohnson-91 , @gavinbrindley, @hischierdevils , @jackhughesily  , @panarin10 ,  @equallyshaw ,   @power2myheart  ,  @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold , @akengii , @hischierhaze, @cinnamonpancakes , @mitchymainer , @lifeofpriya ,  @marshmallow-babe, @hughesx3 ,  @emsully2002  ,  @starsandhughes , @huggy-hischier73 ,  @doglady5678 , @thatoneblog , @exonct07 @hughesmedicine , @qwanelledingele , @mindless-rock , @ireadthensuetheauthors , @huggy-hischier94, @slaythehousedownboots , @diary-of-jj

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Tell me, do you think Amelie shows any of the signs of a woman who was mistreated by her husband, or at least do you think she did before season 5?

That is really, really, really not something you can tell just from a few casual encounters with a person, especially since we didn't meet her until after Colt was dead and we never saw her in another romantic relationship. Every victim will act differently and have different triggers. I have no doubt I could find Amelie's perfect match among real victims because there is no set pattern of behavior they're required to follow to be real victims.

All that being said, I think this ask may just be poorly phrased, so I'm gonna talk about the general way the abuse was handled by the story, which was not great.

As I talk about this more, please remember that we are discussing characters in a story and not real people. I would never be this critical of a real person because a real person is not a piece in an ongoing narrative. A friend revealing that they were abused without any prior indication of this fact is perfectly normal as victims are often very good at masking their symptoms. A character doing the same is often bad writing as stories allow you to get inside people's heads, to see people in private moments, or even just when no one else is looking at them. If the writers never take a moment to use those kinds of tricks to set up a big reveal like an abusive parent, then the reveal comes off like something the writers made up at the last minute, which is bad writing.

So, if you're asking if the show set up the reveal well, then no, I don't think it did as nothing we see in the show would make you guess that something was off about Colt. Like you could argue that it makes Amelie's overprotective and indulgent nature make sense, but lots of people spoil their kids without going through abuse, so that behavior didn't need to be explained. It was perfectly logical as-is.

You could also argue that the abuse explains why Felix is a bully, but plenty of people are awful to others without ever going through some sort of trauma. Felix being a bully could have just as easily have been the result of a pampered upbringing where he was given everything he wanted.

Colt's reveal can be argued to recontextualizes Amelie and Felix's behavior, but that's about it. It doesn't take questionable behavior and make it suddenly make sense. Like I'm still baffled as to why Felix did all the crap he did in his titular episode because he was never cruel just to be cruel again, so what was going on there? Why the dramatic character shift in season four and five?

For the show to have actually set up the reveal of Colt's abuse, it would have needed a really blatant example of Amelie or Felix being triggered OR some sort of line that established that something was off about Colt or even just a line to establish that Felix changed after Colt's abuse started since it's implied that it only showed up after he realized he was sick/dying.

For a trigger, just look at how Marinette was written in Derision. That actually was a good example of PTSD (or at least, my second hand understanding of it). The reason why I'm so critical of that episode is because PTSD doesn't magically turn on and off like that. It's not the kind of thing that shows up for a single episode and then disappears. Marinette should have been having moments like that long before Derision AND long after it, especially since the show has written in a lot of moments that would have made for good times to trigger her and establish that something was off. She's been to that pool with Adrien before. She had Kim ask for her opinion on a present he's giving to another girl. She saw an image of Kim down on his knees with a gift.

Any or all of those should have drawn out some kind of negative, trauma-based reaction from her if the writers wanted us to believe that this fictional character who they have full control over has ongoing trauma. Unless the writers are really saying that all those questionable jokes were her being triggered and then just.... I hope I don't have to explain how utterly disgusting that is.

For an example of a line, they could have done something like having Adrien apologize for missing Colt's funeral only for Felix to say something about Colt not deserving to be mourned or really anything to indicate that he wasn't exactly sad that his father was gone. They could have also had Adrien comment on how much Felix had changed since they were kids and how he could never imagine his cousin being so cruel.

To be fair, they kinda do that one with Adrien initially dismissing Felix's behavior as being the result of his father's recent passing, but it's hard to tell if that means that Felix used to be kind or what. That's especially true because Adrien's been show to tolerate a lot of bad behavior and Felix is canonically made from jealous (Yes, I'm serious, this was a line in the play: His jealousy came to life). So Felix has probably always been jealous of Adrien and will probably always be a jealous person because I guess that's just what he was made to be?

Moving on!

I wanted to highlight that the writers do know how to do this kind of discussion-based setup, as we saw back in Frightningale:

Mayor Bourgeois: But sweetie, there's no way we can cancel the shoot now. Chloé: (pulling out her phone) I'm going to call Mom and tell her how all my dreams have been crushed! (feigns sorrow) Mayor Bourgeois: (stammers anxiously, then grabs Chloé's phone and starts punching in a phone number) Let's not disturb our beloved Queen for such a little matter; right, my little Princess?

Even if this line is kinda weird since Audrey probably wouldn't have even answered the phone.

Any time the writers actually commit to a plot point, they set it up in a way that a little kid could pick up on because of course they do! This is a show for little kids. I think the writers do genuinely want it to be entertaining for the intended audience.

This is why the Colt thing is so weird to me. It's a pretty freaking serious thing to add to your show out of nowhere and I have a sneaking suspicion that it's never going to be mentioned again, which is less than stellar writing. It very much feels like something the writers added to hand waved away Felix's bad behavior, but I'd argue that this is actually a terrible lesson to teach kids.

Being kind to those who have gone through trauma is always a good lesson to teach, but Felix has attempted to assault Ladybug, tried to malign his cousin's good name by impersonating him, and betrayed the entire world by empowering a terrorist even though he could - and should - have immediately gone to Ladybug and told her who the terrorist was. These are not minor faux pas and trauma is not an excuse to traumatize others, otherwise we'd end up with a world full of traumatized people doing whatever they wanted because trauma!

There is a lot of nuance to this topic, but at the very least, Felix needed to do some serious apologizing to make his redemption feel earned. We should not be teaching kids that a sob story is all it takes to justify the kind of shit Felix pulled as that would mean that Gabriel and Chloe's actions were also fully justified because trauma! Might as well lump Lila in there, too, because I'm pretty sure that she's an orphan? Whatever is going on with her backstory is nothing good and we really need to be seeing some clearer messaging around who gets redeemed and why. It's why I've reblogged so many posts about Felix and Chloe being near identical in their actions. The issues is not that Chloe needs to be redeemed. The issue is that there is no reason why she wasn't and Felix was. There is nothing a child can point to in order to understand who you should give a second chance to and who you should run away from for your own mental health.

[singofsolace]

Thoughts on "Alberta's Fan"

So I like to put shows on while I eat dinner by myself to make me feel less alone and it wasn't until I had watched this episode for the second time that I was able to focus on all of the new information we get about Hetty?

like, the first time around, I was focusing on the A-plot (A for Alberta, how fitting!) and so it wasn't until I watched it again tonight that some of Hetty's lines really sunk in.

For example, when Thor, Alberta, Sam, and Hetty are going for their morning walk, Sam makes a comment about how Hetty walks slower than the rest of them, which results in this exchange:

Hetty: "Well, excuse me for dying in heels! Plus, I did not sleep. You know I suffer from nerves. At least when I was alive I could take laudanum."

Sam: "What's laudanum?"

Hetty: "It's a simple mixture of alcohol and morphine. You should try it, Samantha."

Sam: "Oh sure, I'll pick some up next time I'm at the alchemist."

Hetty: "Well, I didn't always require such elixirs. When I was a little girl, an angel-voiced servant would sing me to sleep. Some footman or butler."

....

We get so much from this one exchange!

1) Hetty most likely died unexpectedly, since she was still wearing uncomfortable heels and a corset when it happened. I've been racking my brain trying to think of what could have killed her that didn't leave a visible wound but still caught her by surprise enough that she didn't so much as take off her shoes? I have to assume it was some kind of unexpected medical event, and not a long, drawn out illness, or else she would've been in far more comfortable sick-clothes; was it a stroke or an aneurysm, perhaps? I think I've seen others speculate that it could've been a drug overdose, which tracks, but wouldn't she have died high, like Flower, if that were the case? Wouldn't she be a little less lucid, and wouldn't Thor, Sas, or Isaac have mentioned it when other drug-related deaths came up? And would the writers really want drugs and alcohol to be involved in four out of the eight main ghost deaths? It's a mystery, to be sure!

2) Hetty has trouble sleeping, and apparently all the ghosts are already aware that she has anxiety which contributes to her insomnia, because she says "you know I suffer from nerves" as if to imply there's no need to offer an explanation as to why she didn't sleep.

3) When she was alive, Hetty regularly self-medicated with a combination of alcohol and morphine to help her sleep. We already knew about her cocaine use prior to this exchange, but I think this is the first mention of her using them specifically to "treat" her anxiety and insomnia.

Then, in a later scene, when Thor and Hetty are having their heart to heart, Thor tells her that he thought she would remember him after she died, but instead she had "terror of Thor." So not only did she not remember him or his voice, she was scared of him when she first died. And, in fact, she still flinches when he yells, despite having 130 years to get used to it.

Side note--when Elias comes out of the vault, he says that he's spent 130 years talking to his corpse. Hetty also says at one point that she's been friends with Isaac for 130 years. Does that mean Elias and Hetty died around the same time? We know Elias died first, but does that mean Hetty only outlived her husband by less than a year...? And since she says her children weren't fully grown yet when she died, does that mean her kids were taken in by someone else? Her sister, maybe...? So much to think about!

Hetty also says to Thor, "You were there for me when no one else was. Thank you." Does that mean that Hetty's parents were absent and/or neglectful? Was she treated poorly as a child? Did she not have much of a relationship with her sister, even before their looks were being compared to decide who would be forced to marry Elias...? Why was "Gordon" the only person Hetty remembers who supported her? That's just heartbreaking, especially when you think about how she went from a lonely, neglected child to an even lonelier, neglected wife.

Anyway, I have so many thoughts on this episode, I just wanted to get them out! Let me know if you all have any thoughts, too.

[transistor-rhythm-909]

LRB: that anecdote of the teacher is eerily similar to one of the most core trauma's I have ever endured, in a way that really resonates.

To preface; I've not been diagnosed as autistic or as having ADHD, but I highly suspect the latter and I am possibly somewhere on the spectrum as well. Irregardless of this fact, I am by all accounts neurodivergent. I have always been neurodivergent. I have always been the odd outsider in some capacity. One way in which this manifested was that when I was in Primary/Elementary school, I used to carry straws around, which served a double function; 1) the general need to fiddle with something with my hands, 2) if whatever imaginary game I was playing required "energy auras" or bullets or whatever, the straw would be the substitute for that.

(Sidenote; this need to fiddle with things and sometimes getting 'lost' in a fantasy is something that has never gone away fully. It's just these days I fiddle with the inside of a pen and a plastic toothpick instead, and generally I don't leave the house with them. You can see why I suspect I might be somewhere on the spectrum even if I am in many ways 'high functioning'. But I'm getting sidetracked).

I don't think I really need to explain that the kid who ran around the playground twirling a straw in front of his face whilst pretending to be his own made up Sonic/Dragon Ball Z/Ghoul Panic etc. characters was a prime target for bullying. It's fairly self demonstrating. What might be more uncomfortable to learn is that one of the teachers at this school got in on the act.

I'll never forget her name; Mrs. Duggan. A short, stocky white woman who always had a face like a clapped arse and clearly hated children. I don't know why she was a teacher- it can't have been for the pay. She later became the head of the school's Special Needs department, which is horrifying.

I had her as my teacher for two years running. The first was, as far as my memory serves, mostly uneventful outside of general mean-teacher bs (such as mishearing me as complaining about a lesson when I was complimenting it, and screaming at me to go to the principle's office). But during that second year she begun to zero in on me for reasons I still don't quite grasp. for example, one lessons around christmas we were assigned the task of making xmas cards to take home- I thought we could pick one of two template designs to customise, and chose one; upon presenting it to her, she looked it derisively, then tore it up, bluntly told me I picked the wrong design, and told me to do it again.

But it was her focus on the straw thing where things become egregious. I remember two incidents, one "smaller" and one "bigger".

The small incident; during one artclass, she produced a box of paper straws for us to use. One classmate yelled out "hey, straw boy!" (me, obvs), the entire class erupting with laughter at me; when I looked at Duggan, she effectively just went 🤷‍♀️ with a smile on her face and did nothing to stop it. Pretty humiliating, but not as bad as what came next.

The big incident; It was the end of the year assembly, a large part of which consistent of the teachers giving out special awards to students- "best at maths", "most creative writer", "most well behaved", that sort of thing. When it was Duggan's turn, she doles out the awards as usual, but upon getting to the end, says something to the effect of: "and finally, a very special award for a very special student, who's been extremely helpful throughout the semester".

I remember her next words very clearly though; "for keeping my plastics box filled all year round, [Real Name] Theed!"

The entire school bursts into laughter. Every single student, more or less, barring perhaps a couple of my friends and one or two teachers. And I had to get up in front of them and accept this award, as they laughed at me.

Now, my depression and anxiety- which I have been diagnosed for- are partially clinical; I would have suffered with them anyway because of how my brain is wired. There would also be more traumatic events in secondary school, outside of it as a teenager, and into my early adulthood that would contribute to both. But I don't think it is an exaggeration at all to say that that humiliation in front of about 200 students and staff members, being made to feel like a demented freak worthy of nothing but mockery, laid the groundwork for a lot of the issues I still have now- my severe social anxiety, my performance anxiety, my not wanting to be perceived, my not wanting to become the centre of attention, my dislike of myself, my difficulty reaching out and striking up friendships, my need to "mask" behaviours or thought patterns that suggest that i am on the spectrum or am neurodivergent generally in any way, always being self conscious about how I talk or what I talk about- it all comes back to that moment where I was made to feel as less than human by someone who was supposed to have my best interests in mind.

I am, quite genuinely, still haunted by that day. It still dictates so much of my life. As said, it is not the only traumatic thing I've been through, and its not the only one to leave an impact. But its one of the earliest. And in many ways, it set the tone for my miserable teen years, which came about a couple years after this.

And I was not the only student she hurt, either. She was, by all estimations, a monster, and if there were any justice in the world she would have lost her job. But she didn't. As said, she was promoted to a significant caregiver position. It sucked then, it sucks now.