#but all it takes is one bad interaction to cause me to spiral and not post anything for a bit

[ramblings-of-lola]

The amount of drafts I delete because I'm afraid of getting hate comments due to the few times it has happened before is ridiculous

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for putting a hit out on an ex friend’s dnd character?

A few years ago I [M 18] was the link between two different online friend circles along with my longtime friend A [M 22]. Essentially, both A and I ran two different dnd campaigns that acted as a melting pot between our two friend groups. It was really fun, super casual stuff. Enter C [M 19], who was originally one of my friends and played in both groups. Over time it became clear that C was, to put it lightly, not a great person. At the time, I was a really new DM and struggled a lot with my self confidence. C was a super disruptive player in my group, going off the rails and generally trying to undermine both me and other players. I tried to sort it out between sessions, but it didn’t end up working out. It came to a head where I ended up shutting down my campaign, claiming school got to be too much, but in reality I just couldn’t deal with C’s behaviour. It was a really big blow to my self confidence at the time.

At this point a lot of people had been cutting out C for various other things like this - generally being disrespectful and callous, not taking responsibility for harm he caused, etc. Pretty soon the only times I was interacting with C directly was during A’s campaign.

A, who wasn’t 100% aware of the situation, came and talked to me after a session one day about why I’d shut down my campaign, and I told him everything about how I was feeling. He was really understanding, and said that he got the feeling that I probably didn’t want C around anymore, and neither did he. I agreed, so A offered to ‘sort out some stuff with C’s character’ and shuffle him out of the group. I made a joke about wanting C’s character to die, in a pretty flippant way, and the conversation diverted.

This is where things get kind of weird.

So, at the time, I was expecting A to just talk with C and kick him out of the group in between sessions, but that didn’t end up happening. C was at the next session just as planned, and continued to show up for several weeks. During this time A, and I really don’t know how else to describe this, pulled some Machiavellian scheme on C’s character as the DM to ruin his life. A wove in this story where C’s character got this evil mask shard of a dead god, and played on C’s want to sabotage other players & go his own way in a very ‘lone rogue’ way to isolate him from the group and get him involved in all these evil deeds (killing minor npcs, etc). None of our characters knew about this in character, but A dropped all these hints and the context lined up to make it seem like C’s character was slowly going insane. C, unable to communicate in or out of character, backed up this idea by refusing to talk about the god IC or OOC. Eventually this god fragment lead to the death of C’s character when an overpowered assassin struck him down, in a fight that felt very ‘well this could’ve been a party boss but because you didn’t tell anyone, you died’. Immediately following this the party found out about C’s character’s evil deeds, meaning he wouldn’t be mourned by the party. The whole death felt so… hollow. It really felt like C had ended up in this situation because of their own hubris. But they hadn’t.

A had masterminded the whole thing. He’d given me live updates about his plan to essentially manufacture a situation where C’s character died a miserable death that felt totally deserved in the eyes of the other party members. And then we all just blocked C anyway???

I’ve never seen someone manipulate somebody like that in my life before and I’ve never seen anything like it again. I’ve never told anyone else in the group that the death was masterminded by A because of my petty grudge about my failed campaign. I don’t speak to either A or C now but I still feel bad about not doing something. Should I have just told A to kick C way before this?? I had no clue it would spiral into actual months of chess mastering his demise!!

What are these acronyms?

[c-t-r-l14]

And the Crowd is….Slighlty Confused!?

Ya’ll remember when Kendrick Lamar said, “I remember when you was conflicted”?

That’s me right now, ya’ll. I’m conflicted.

I’m conflicted as hell.

For the first time in six months, Alex and Gremlin sat down and had a proper conversation about the break up, how they’ve been feeling, and what they’ve been doing since then. And honestly, I couldn’t be more prouder of both of them. They were certainly tackling this subject with maturity—an aspect that they both begged of each other, but clearly lacked the last time they spoke. It was really nice to see them sit down and be amicable to one another, and honestly, my heart couldn’t help but soften by the way they interacted with each other. It reminded me of the good ol’ days. The peaceful times before everything went to shit.

On one hand, I really want them to have a happy ending. In the audio, you can just feel the mutual pining between those two; the way they both have been stalking each other socials, the way they’ve been thinking about each other non-stop, the way they find remnants of each other and the happy times they had in ordinary mundane things—the way you can tell how much they’ve missed each other. Like—I truly, truly felt the love. This was the conversation they should’ve had from the very beginning, and it pisses me off that they didn’t really talk things out after the first initial argument in part four. At the end of the day, all Gremlin wanted was reassurance, even though they went about it the wrong way. I think one of the best things about this audio was the fact that Alex gave them a lot of grace. He recognizes that Gremlin’s trust issues went deeper than they thought, and even realized that what they did that night was a lapse in judgement on their part. He took the time to understand their mindset when they made those accusations—how it’s hard to see anything differently when you’ve had your mind set on something, or—how sometimes when life is a little bit too good, you start to get suspicious—and start to find a reason why it could be an illusion. But, I think one of the biggest things about this audio was how he acknowledged how irrelevant he made listener feel. He reflected on his behavior during the campaign shoot he was doing with Natalie—and how he was fully focused on his work because he wanted to impress the higher ups—and it was because of that, he started to neglect listener. He started answering his texts less, he was spending more of his time at the studio, and by the time he got home, he was exhausted—so its not like they could’ve done much with each other, anyway. That neglect, plus him spending time with another woman—it made Gremlin spiral, and drudged up old memories and fears that they thought they’d put to bed. And Alex, after all this time—finally acknowledged that he was partly to blame for that spiral, and realized that he should’ve been more attentive to the person he loves.

Another thing I really love about this video is that we finally get a reason why he acted so strangely during the break up. Alex and Gremlin never really spoke about the cheating accusations after it happened, and like I said in my last rant—it’s very possible that it had been on his mind for a long time, but he just never told them how bad it truly made him feel until the break up convo happened—which caused his feelings to get the better of him. And, he acknowledged that because of this, it made him say some things that he really shouldn’t have said. Now, as a person who’s literally known for her hatred of Alex, I’m gonna give credit where credit’s due. I am very proud of Alex’s character development. I’m proud he reflected on all of the events that took place and the part he played, and unlike the last audio—he doesn’t make excuses this time around. He acknowledges the break up could’ve been handled better, and takes some accountability for his role in it. But that’s the thing—he only takes some accountability for his part, and it’s because of that I’m conflicted as hell.

Throughout this entire closure convo, it seems like Alex was kind of vague about the things he said during the breakup. He never once acknowledged the excuses he made, the gaslighting he did, or his hypocrisy during that entire conversation. And those three things were the biggest reasons why a lot of people do not like him. Like yes, he acknowledges that his emotions got the better of him and made him say ‘things he shouldn’t have’, but the main thing he did acknowledge was the offhand comment he made about Gremlin not being the “right person” for this relationship. On top of that, he made sure to go into great detail on the way Gremlin confronted him about the cheating allegations. Now, don’t get me wrong—Alex is fully within his right to tell Gremlin how they made him feel. At the end of the day, they had no right to violate his privacy or yell at them with accusations they made up based off flimsy ass evidence and their own paranoid theories—and I can understand why Alex was hurt by that. However, he never really went into depth about the things he said during the break up convo,either. He puts the gaslighting, excuse making, and hypocrisy under the umbrella term of ‘things he shouldn’t have said to them’, and that was something I really did not like. Because, one of the biggest reasons why Gremlin fully believed that the break up was all their fault was because Alex made it seem that way. He dodged the solutions Gremlin tried to give him with excuses, he demanded transparency from them and couldn’t even be bothered to do the same thing back, and used such roundabout language that made it seem like they were the only problem—despite his lack of effort and accountability. He doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that he tried to twist their anger for being the last to know about his job offer in a way that made them look like that they were mad that he got a job offer at all. And speaking of that job offer…WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU ‘NEVER TOLD THEM YES?’ WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE ‘ONLY THINKING ABOUT IT,’ AND ‘WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IT TO THE PEOPLE WHO MATTERED TO YOU FIRST?’ In the break up audio, he made it seem like he was actually going to take the job. Him taking the job was one of the biggest reasons why he broke up with Gremlin in the first place—because he was so sure that they couldn’t handle long distance! If he wasn’t sure about taking the job the day he broke up with them—then what was the point of the break up in the first place?? Why didn’t he at least take the time to make a decision about the job offer first, and then see what he could do about his relationship afterword?? Like—if he wasn’t 100% sure that he wasn’t going to go to States—why did he break up with them? That was the part that never made sense to me. I guess you could say that his emotions had gotten the better of him in that moment and he impulsively decided to break things off…but just knowing that he never had a definitive answer during the time they broke up makes the break up seem more stupid than it already was. I was so sure that he was going to go to New York that I didn’t even think that we were even going to get an audio where Alex tells Gremlin that he still loves them, simply because—number one—I thought he his decision to move was set in stone, and number two—he acted like he wanted nothing to do with them!

I just don’t know ya’ll, I’m hella conflicted. You can see how much he’s grown—at least in some ways. He’s finally starting to recognize his faults, and acknowledge the things he could’ve done better. I think my favorite thing about this audio was the fact that he didn’t let Gremlin take all the blame, and he even tried to give this relationship a fighting chance. However, his immaturity still lurks in the background. Because while yes, he does acknowledge some of his faults, he doesn’t seem to recognize all of them.

A part of me is still bitter toward him—and pissed as hell that they could’ve had this conversation the whole time if they just took the time to open their mouths and communicate. But, another part of me—a slightly bigger part—can’t help but forgive him. And that might be a shock to ya’ll—since I’m probably known as that ‘One girl who despises Alex so much that she makes unhinged rants about how much she hates him.’ But I think if he truly wanted to change, and is taking the initiative to do so, who am I to be mad at him? I think its a step in the right direction—and I’d like to think it’d be nice for him prove that he’s not the punk ass, bum ass, photographer bitch boy that we think is. Because, one of the biggest things I hated about him was the lack of initiative, because despite telling Gremlin how much he loves them, and how they make him happy during the break up convo—he never once lifted a finger to make things work.

But, I don’t see that now. If he wants to make things work, then—I mean—why not? Their love is just as clear as their red flags. And maybe a lot of ya’ll may think I’m a punk for thinking this way, but as much as I get up on here and talk shit, I’ve always secretly hoped that they’d get a happy ending together—one where they both worked things out. And they finally have a chance to do that now, both of them—in therapy.

Although I don’t think that’s gonna happen—because the crumpets are not having it.

Oh well. What’s important is that Gremlin got closure, and (hopefully) knows they’re not fully at fault for what happened, and Alex apologized—and to me, that’s all that matters.

Masterlist

[reverieblondie]

Clumsy Kitty

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara X Blackcat Fem!!reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Smut with Some Plot, Blowjob, Slight hair pulling, Teasing, Unprotected Penetrative Sex.

Summary: You became a thief to help you get over your mundane life. Turns out being a big time thief is not so easy…especially when you have a grumpy spider-man always throwing you off your game, if only there was a way to get back at him. 

Part 2

A/N: I really love the idea of a clumsy Black Cat interacting with Miguel. The thought plagues my brain! I hope you all enjoy it! I have a lot more fics in the works so please look out for them!  

Word count: 5,637 (edited to the best of my ability, if you have any tips on editing please share with me!)

“You have gotta be kidding me…”

Groaning as you hang from the ceiling you try to break out of the cords you are tangled in. Well, this is embarrassing, Black Cat tangled in cords suspended in the air in one of the many labs in Alchemax. Yep, this is just the cherry on top of your little escapades. 

Stealing things and breaking into places became a recent hobby of yours. Tired of your mundane life, you wanted excitement, you wanted the rush of doing something bad, So what do you do? You become a thief of course! Was this the most rational way to solve your boredom? No, but it's not like you were hurting anyone with stealing, you were just scratching that bad girl itch by taking things that didn't belong to you and breaking into places that seemed impossible to enter, you loved the rush and high your actions would give you, it was downright addicting.

Though there's only one thing wrong with your new life of thieving, it turns out you are really, not the best at it. Sure, there were a few times you were able to make it out with the goods you wanted. But you were usually not successful in your adventures in Nueva York, and it was all thanks to one blue and red-clad hero, Spider-man. 

Spider-man always seemed to show up and it would cause you to spiral out of control. Whether it was his intimidating figure or that gruff voice, his presence always turned your brain fuzzy and caused your thighs to clench. It couldn't be helped, he was a magnet and you were helpless to his pull. 

Your first ever encounter with the hero you would remember forever. It was one of the first high-profile places you had decided to break into. It was a museum that was housing a very famous jewel for an exhibit, and you just knew you needed to get your hands on it. So dawning your iconic catsuit you made your way to the museum. Breaking in and grabbing the jewel seemed to go off without a hitch, however, you must have hit an alarm somewhere because the Public Eye could be heard in the distance. 

Scrambling to the roof you stopped dead in your tracks, there he stood. Having seen pictures before you instantly recognized the icon in front of you, a dark cobalt blue suit with glowing red accents. Impossibly broad shoulders, towering height, and muscles that bulged from his suit leaving little to the imagination. Your mind felt like it blue screened, as you stared at him. How did he get here so quickly? Why is he so massive? Is he going to spank you? Wait what? Scratch that! 

You two just stood and studied each other for a moment, the tension high, your nerves going haywire being in his presence, you couldn't help the rush of heat dropping to your lower stomach. Does he realize how imposing he is? And why was he turning you on so much? Is it the thrill of stealing or is it just him? Your mind was racing, and he just stared at you. It seemed like he was studying you. Though you couldn't read any expression from that damn mask of his you suddenly had the urge to rip off his face to reveal what you could only assume was a dreamy man. Wait, why are you acting so thirsty? He's here to stop you, not to ravish you! You're a bad girl, he's a good guy, take a mental image of him for a later daydream and get out of here! Then a commanding voice grips you and makes you snap to the present.  

“Hand that over, Now!” 

The simple demand rolled from his tongue making your brain fuzzy and limbs turning to jelly. The familiar rush of heat dropping to your stomach turning into a coil. The mix in your stomach, a storm of nerves and arousal. Feeling your breath hitch you just stared blankly at the hero.

He just spoke to you! Say something, do something!

Standing dumbfounded for a moment you begin to walk to him slowly. He teased from your approach getting ready to defend himself, however he didn't need to. Before he could even comprehend what was happening you placed the jewel in his hand. Staring at him with stars in your eyes as you just backed away. You tried to speak, but it only came out a subtle whine as you turned to run off. A tilt of his head said it all to show his confusion about your silent surrender, he didn't even chase you down when you escaped, most villains put up a fight and you just gave in to his demand? That was a change of pace.

Getting back home you were pacing around your room kicking yourself. That was so lame! You could have said something! Gave him a fight! Flirted a little! Made an impression! Oh wait you did, as the worst thief ever! Handing over the loot as soon as he demands! What kind of thief does that? 

Plopping down on your bed you throw your head into your hands feeling the embarrassment still aching within you. Hopefully, next time if you run into the hero you will handle yourself like a proper theif and not whatever the hell that was!

 ----

Finally, your second chance has come! And things were going much better than the first encounter. What did you steal this time? Some important-looking technology from some important-looking building, honestly, you didn't think that what you were taking would be all that missed, but here you are getting chased by your new favorite hero. After your first meeting, you had done some research into Spiderman and you came out of it with a bit of a crush. Was it taboo to have a crush on a hero when you were participating in bad behavior? Yes, but he was just too amazing to ignore.

Jumping rooftop to rooftop using your grappling claws to help you swing and climb. It had taken you days of practice to make it look effortless. He on the other hand climbed and swung using his sharp talons and neon red webs that glowed oh so gorgeous in the night, you just assumed that the actions must have always come so easy to him. 

“Get back here now cat!”

That same rough voice yelling out towards you just makes you want to purr, maybe your persona was getting to you but you didn't care. You just wanted him to yell and bully you and you were not going to apologize for that. Have you been fantasizing a bit about the spider hero? Yes, but all the fanfiction you had stumbled on and read during your research did not help your case. Some of these writers come up with the tastiest scenarios. 

“No can do spidy! you have to catch me first!”  

Finally getting the flirty banter down you were turning to give him a cheeky wink, an action you were sure would make his head spin but, devastation accords. Right in the middle of your turn, that you had rehearsed in your mind, you clumsily tripped over your own feet and landed straight to the ground, right in front of Spider-Man. You're supposed to be agile like a cat, not fumbling like a fool!

Spider-man slows his pursuit from a sprint to a jog to a walk then standing above you looking down at you. He studies you for a moment placing his large hands on his tapered waist, you feel like you could cry, you just wish a portal to another dimension would swallow you up but you were not so lucky. He crotches down, not seeing you as a threat at all, scooping up the tech then swings away back to where you stole them. Great, he didn't even speak to you or try to apprehend you after you fell. This is truly the worst moment of your life. You gathered yourself off the floor and sulked away back home, trying to put your pride back together. 

----

Now you are hanging from the ceiling in some dingy lab, helplessly tangled. This was not helping your confidence whatsoever. The goal was to steal some stuff to improve your tools and suit, but no, you get tangled in some random cords! Unbelievable, This can't get worse. Then you spot him climbing through the side window and walking towards you, you stand corrected, this did get worse. Can't catch a break with this guy! 

Stopping right in front of you, face to face with him you could better see the subtle pixelating glow of his suit and the intoxicating smell of his natural musk. 

“What are you doing?” he spoke slight confusion in his serious voice

“Oh you know, hanging around” You chuckle at your cheesy joke but he just remains stoic. 

“You're really bad at this” he speaks frankly before quickly popping out his talons and swiftly cutting you free. 

You crash to the floor before you quickly spring back up facing him dusting yourself off. 

“What do you mean?” you quickly quip back

“I mean you're really bad at the whole stealing thing” he motions his finger in a circle in the air. 

“I think I'm just inexperienced, give me a few more chances and you will see” You start following him as he starts moving to leave, forgetting about even sealing anything, you're just excited to have a dialog with him. 

“You're lucky I don't throw your clumsy ass in jail.” 

“Why don't you then?” 

“Because you're not a threat to anyone but yourself” he whips around and pokes his finger out to you. This sudden confession takes you aback for a moment. 

“What? I am a threat! Look at these claws!” you pop out your mechanical claws trying to show him how dangerous you are, he turns and looks at your hand unimpressed you assume before sighing and turning away.

Making his way out of the window you clumsily follow behind him. The hero makes his way to the roof of the building, scaling the sides with little effort. It takes you a bit more effort to complete the climb following him. Note to self-practice climbing to build endurance.  

Thoughts swirling in your mind, it's odd to be speaking to him so casually, you're a villain, albeit a not-very-good one but you still are one. You two should be fighting or chasing each other. Though you should probably be thankful you are not fighting the guy who was way more skilled and massive. You were not a good fighter, but it was irritating that he didn't even see you as a threat, you could be a threat! Not that you wanted to be but who the hell does he think he is to undermine you to your face? 

Reaching the rooftop he stands walking away from you as you fumble behind him trying to catch up. He looks back at you as you try to catch your breath, though you can't see his face you can feel a scowling glare piercing through you. 

“Go home kitty, I have more important matters to deal with than play with you”

With that, he shoots his blazing red web in the air and swings away. Fantastic, he sees you as nothing more than just some fool to not take seriously. 

Standing there an ache fills your chest, every time he was around you looked like an idiot, clumsy and brain-fuzzed with inappropriate thoughts of things he could do to you but you didn't expect him to undermine you so bluntly. It was a major blow to your bad girl ego. 

Clenching your fist into tight balls you feel your frustration hitting its peak. Yelling out to him in desperation you shout to his fading figure. 

“You know what spiderman? You better watch out! I might just surprise you!” 

----

Okay yes, what you were doing could be classified as stalking, but you were burning to get back at Spider-Man. He had seen you look like a fool three times too many, so it was now time to make him eat his words. But how do you get back at a superhero? Well, your idea is: You find his secret hideaway, steal his stuff and leave him a note telling him how he shouldn’t be so cocky. Who could see you as some clumsy thief after that? 

The plan was in full effect: you had found him cleaning up the streets of Nueva York, beating up a gang blue and bloody. Watching him work was pretty thrilling, he moved with such force and skill. He was something to reckon with, for a moment you find yourself thinking you might rethink your plan, but you quickly shake the idea away. Spider-man was going to be knocked down a peg by you, this was definitely going to change how he sees you. 

What he had said had stirred something in you that you just couldn't ignore, it was almost like you wanted to impress him. To get his attention and see you more than just some clumsy thief, who knows maybe he would be into it? Good girls like bad boys apparently, do good guys like bad girls? Well, you hope so. 

After he finished his fight with the gang he started swinging through the city. You made sure to keep your distance so he wouldn't catch you as you kept a watchful eye out for those iconic glowing webs. After a while, you lost him in the cleaner division of the city. You looked around at the pristine buildings. Most of them were brand new, they were always developing and getting rid of buildings so everything looked unfamiliar to you even though you have lived in Nueva York all your life. 

Looking around one building caught your eye, it was tall but wasn't the tallest in the city and didn't seem to have any windows besides some at the very top. There was something about this building that you couldn't shake. Call it a hunch or just natural intuition but you knew this building was hiding something, hopefully, it was hiding Spider-Man's secret hideout. Approaching the building you looked to see if it housed a company of some sort but you didn't see anything. -suspicious. 

Needing to find a way inside, you scope out the buildings outside. The only possible opening you saw for yourself was a window and it was quite the climb to reach it. It would be worth it though, if this was really where Spider-Man was hiding, he would for sure be surprised by this sudden intrusion to his private space. The ultimate fantasy was you breaking in stealing some stuff then leaving him a cheeky note, he would be so impressed by your skill he would hunt you down and beg you to join him to fight crime. Then he would make sweet love to you, twisting you and bending around in many positions making you cum over and over again with him. 

Squealing in excitement as you climb you almost fall having to adjust your grip. Maybe it would be better if you kept the fantasies at bay for now. The climb felt like it lasted forever, huffing and pushing through your exhaustion, your fantasy driving you to your goal. Popping your head up to look through the window, you are met with your reflection, dammit. Well, time for the tried and true method, breaking and entering!

Unsheathing one of your sharp claws you start cutting through the glass. You struggle to cut a hole large enough for you to crawl through, it's rigged and wavy on the sides, truly unprofessional looking for a thief but whatever. Pushing the glass slightly it doesn't budge. Applying more force and using your body weight you finally get through the glass with a crash. Wincing you hope the sound wasn't too loud to make anyone notice, as you stand, brushing yourself off, you finally look around and are frozen by what you see.  

People in costumes all over the place have their eyes glued to you, some wear masks and some do not but there seems to be a theme to all of them, a spider theme. Your brows furrow, a costume party?

It's not until you see some of them swinging from webs and walking on the ceiling does it dawn on you that this isn't a party of normal people.

During your state of confusion, you spot him, your Spider-Man. He’s staring at you, his eye lenses raised in surprise. He seemed to have been talking to people before staring at your sudden intrusion. This wasn't your plan at all, but just go with it! Quickly finding your bearings you point to your Spider-Man face flushed but still determined. 

“You have underestimated me Spider-Man! I found your little…Clubhouse?”

As you shout out to him he walks over to you staring intently, eye lenses furrowed. His approach makes your breath shake and speech clutter into a rambling mess.  

“I'm…I'm not so clum-clumsy now huh…” 

You finally stumble out as he now stands inches from you. Then your breathing stops as the mask that has been hiding his face disappears revealing his crimson eyes, perfectly high cheekbones and full lips. His ravenous hair slicked back, the rich color brown beautifully complemented his tanned skin. Shit, he’s even more gorgeous than in any kind of fantasy you could imagine. 

He stares at you for a moment before he quickly grabs your arm and starts dragging you behind him. As you are tugged through you look at the spider people staring at you. Some would avert their gaze from you, while others just stared, you swore you could even hear some snickering and laughing at the scene. 

“Poor thing, he's probably going to kill her”

“How did she find us?”

“Looks like Miguel has a pet cat now” 

Listening to the muttering of the people your ears perk at the name, Miguel? Looking back up to Spider-Man dragging you along, his name must be Miguel then. You didn’t expect to find out his name and see his face so suddenly. But now you knew more about him, and it was exciting you.

Miguel continues to drag you through the massive building, not meeting your eye of course, you pass by many things in the building looking around in awe as your arm is held in his strong grip, almost certain that you will have bruises tomorrow.  

Finally, after the walking and a quiet elevator ride you are in a dark cluttered room, a holo agent appears to welcome Miguel back, but he only responds with a gruff command of Do not disturb. 

Releasing his death grip on you he turns to face you once more. His face alone sends butterflies in your stomach no high alert as he looks down at you. Scrunching his face before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, he takes a deep breath before he starts pacing. 

You watch as he paces around for a moment, muttering to himself as you just stare patiently. Your eyes take him in as you watch him move left and right left and right your head swiveling in tandem with his movements. Muscles under his tight suit seeming to get tighter as he paces. It was almost mouth watering.

“Miguel?” You say in a sweet question. 

Turning his head to you instinctively from hearing his name, he winces when he realizes that you now know his identity, "What" he barks in your direction. 

Trying to come across as unfazed by his annoyance you just chirp a “nothing” to the seething man. His eyes scan you for a moment up and down before returning to his pacing. 

You go to say something else but he quickly holds his large hand up to you, effectively causing you to bite your bottom lip to silence yourself. Opening his crimson eyes again he stares at you, this must be the look he always gives you. Furrowed brows, one slightly raised. His full flips in a furrowed pout. Any moment he could either yell at you, grab your throat and slam you into a wall, or grab your face and kiss you passionately. The intensity of his stare has you fidgeting slightly picking at your figures, a bad habit that only occurs when you're nervous. 

Full lips opening you hear him breathe out a question to you

“Why are you here gata?”

Skin tingling from his simple question it takes all the nerve you might have still had straight out of you. 

“I wanted to surprise…”

“Surprise me? I am surprised actually, it's shocking you didn't break your neck climbing up the building?” he cuts you off irritatedly

“Well, I almost fell a few times…” you nervously laugh. 

Staring at you he doesn't laugh at your quip. This was not your plan at all. 

“Do you get off on being a shocking pain in my ass?”

Eyes widen at his question, you look to your feet, shit. This isn't how this is supposed to go. Sure you know you're a pain but you just wanted his attention. And yes, that sounds kinda of pathetic but, he is your crush as odd as it is. 

Your breaking in and entering places started the rush for you, but getting to interact with Spider-Man made it all the more tantalizing. There is no way you can admit this to him though, especially now. He's irritated enough by you, plus he would most certainly reject you. Snapping his fingers at you causes you to look up at him.

“Tell me Cat”

Moving your eyes away from him, you feel less like a thief and more like an employee getting reprimanded by a supervisor. Miguel leans to meet your eyes. Noting your flushed features and rapid heartbeat, the realization hits him like a ton of bricks. 

The feeling of fingers on your chin snaps you back from your inner spiraling. As you are now forced to look at Miguel, his breath fanning on your face from his proximity those crimson eyes boring into you.

“Are you trying to get my attention, kitty? Because you have it, now what?” 

His smooth voice has your body flushing with a warm heat, ruining your panties in the process. Is this happening? Is he flirting? Is he into this? Into you?

“Whatever you want” You speak too quickly, wanting to punch yourself for sounding so desperate. 

His thumb brushes against your lips making your knees weak and breathing to spot “Then get on your knees” his smooth voice commands.

Being all to eager you drop to your knees in an instant looking up meeting his red eyes pooling with hunger. He slowly slips his thumb in your mouth feeling your tongue and pressing down to release your drool. 

“You know, you're not like others. They are not so eager for my attention,” he says with hooded eyes as you roll your tongue over his digit. You just nod, leaning in to grab his firm thighs running your hands up to palm his stranded cock you can feel as it grows and twitches in his suit. 

“Just to warn you, once we start I won't be able to stop”

You just suck on him looking up at him to convey your response. 

“Don't say I didn't warn you'' 

With that, he removes his thumb soaked from your drool, and his suit dissolves away. Watching his tanned skin be revealed to you from the dissolving light. His cock springing out towards your face. 

crouching down towards you and grabs the back of your neck pulling you in for a rough kiss. keeping his intense eyes on you as you kiss him back in a fever. Pushing his tongue in your mouth he feels as you eagerly meet him with yours, desperate to taste him. Grabbing and pressing your hands to his solid chest to support yourself, slowly getting drunk from his kiss.

Miguel breaks the kiss standing up from you, pumping his massive cock, almost teasing you with its girth and length, taunting you to take all of him in.

Grasping onto him you feel the silkiness of his cock and the ridge of each vein. The slit of his cock pebbles with glistening precum as you keep pumping him with your hands, licking and tip to take in his tangy taste you are sure to get addicted to. 

His large hand drifts to your cheek rubbing his thumb on your face. 

“Look at you being a good girl, you ready to take it kitty?”

He takes his cock back into his other hand and slaps his tip to your lips. You instantly parted your lips, eyes completely glazed over in lust for him. He slowly slips his cock through your parted lips. The heat and girth make your mouth water as he pushes inch by inch into your wet walls. Whining at the intrusion in your mouth you use your tongue to rub against the thick bottom of his heavy member, enticing him to push in deeper. His cock twinges at your eager licking and he grabs a fist full of your hair as a warning. 

“Breath through your nose” he demands

Before you know it you feel his hips buckling into you more, slipping himself deeper down your throat. Miguel was a big guy so of course he was down your throat causing you to gag and whine on him, he went to pull out to give you relief but you clung to his thighs not allowing him to leave you. Throwing his head back, a moan escapes him from your needy hold. 

Lolling his head to the side as he starts to steadily pump his cock into your drooling mouth, he can't remember the last time he's seen such a beautiful sight. Doe eyes glazed over looking up at him, face flushed, tears streaming down from the constant gagging, cheeks sucked in, his cock sliding in and out of your mouth as your saliva drops from your chin to your clothed thighs in that black skin tight suit that he just wants to rip off you. Continuing his rutting into you he just smirks. 

Swiftly he shethes himself fully in your mouth down your throat, your nose pressed to his trimmed hairs. Petting your head keeping himself in as you adjust to accommodate him he breathlessly gives you a command.

“Purr for me kitty, I want to feel how much you like it” 

Without hesitation start to purr, the vibrations sending him over the edge as he starts thrusting in your eager mouth, bottoming out each time. Feeling you rocking, he looks down to see you rubbing your clothed cunt desperately on your hand. 

“So needy gata” 

cooing to you, as you just continue your pursuit on your hand, shame and embarrassment hit you for acting so desperate. But the pleasure of the sensation of your fucked throat and pressure on your clit has you rolling your eyes back in bliss. Sure, he can call you needy all he wants, but you don't care as you get close to your high.

Thrust becoming more sloppy and his moans starting to slip out in a consistent hum you know he's approaching his release. Swiping your tongue in a fever around him to bring him closer you tighten your grip on his thighs to continue your grinding. A throbbing of his cock and the quickening of his breath is your warning before he is releasing his thick cum down your throat, that you can't help but swallow down with an urgent fever. Quickly he slips out of you, making you cough at the sudden emptiness of your throat. 

Coughing you didn't realize how much you were desperate for air during his throat fucking. Crawling away from him, not to run away but to get a break to catch your breath, you feel a quick swipe on your clothed pussy, then sudden cold air hitting it as all your arousal starts dripping down your puffy folds to the ground under you. You whine at the sudden exposure and before you can turn your head to see what's happening you feel Miguel's large hands on your hips pulling you close to him.  

“Don't tell me you're done gata? We haven't even started” he taunts while swiping two of his long fingers around your folds. 

Looking back at him you press your cunt to him whining for him to keep touching you, he hums in response.

“Good kitty” 

He continues to brush your folds, teasing your swollen clit every so often with a rub or a flick to make sure you were soaked enough to take him. Pushing on your back to lower your chest to the ground keeping your hips raised in the air. He watches as your needy hole grips around nothing begging to be stuffed. Slapping the head of his cock to your slick folds, he makes you whine you jump forward and hum at the abuse. 

“Oh? You're a sensitive one huh?”

One last slap echoes through the room with your moaning before slipping into your velvet walls causing your fingers to spread out and grip the floor as he pushes himself in keeping his large hand on your hips. Slowly rolling his hips into you, his massive cock splitting you open deliciously, the stretch making you moan out and arch further into him as he keeps his slow pace pushing himself deeper and deeper. 

You're instantly coming undone on him, clamping down on him as you gasp from your release. The tightness causes him to bully into you harder still keeping his torturous slow pace. not even all the way in and your already creaming on his cock.

Your breath is completely knocked from you once he's bottomed out, he places his hand on your lower stomach, and he feels his hard cock bulging through you. He moans at the feeling, pressing harder and rubbing the tip through your soft skin, causing you to cry in pleasure and shudder at his rolling hand. 

“Oh, you feel that don't you? Filling up that tight little pussy.” he leans over to your ear “Don't forget to breath kitty cat, I don't want you passing out” 

Before you can quip back or ask what he means, he's slipping out of you to the tip then slamming back into you in and out in rapid succession, the air in your lungs getting banged out of you. Leaning over you again, he holds your head up by your chin. His chin rests comfortably on your shoulder and he breathes in your ear. 

“Breath kitty, come on” 

taking in deep breaths as your told he treats you by fucking you harder, completely rocking your body past what you though was your limits. 

“That's my girl” 

He continues his pace, sweat rolling down his tense muscles as he continues to fuck you relentlessly. You can't help but feel like he's trying to break you. Grabbing one of your outstretched arms he curls it so you're able to rub your clit.

“Touch yourself, I want to feel you cum on my cock again.” he pants in your ear.

Giving into his demands you rub quick circles on your spent clit, the coil in your stomach being rammed into by Miguel's brutal length. Your pussy starts to grip him harder, making him fuck into you faster than you thought you could even handle.

Knocking all air from you, your lungs are burning. It feels like you're running a marathon, sweat rolling down your body, the heat being trapped in your catsuit. Almost Like he can sense your body overheating Miguel rips your cat suit like it's made of paper. You moan at the sudden cooling of your wet skin. Kissing all over your bare back, Miguel's large hands grab onto your bouncing breast, causing your nipples to suddenly peak from his pinching and tugging.

“Come on kitty, cum for me,” he says breathlessly, gripping harder onto you. 

“Miguel…” You start to moan, your cunt clenched around him, the echoing of wet squelching and skin slapping together egging you both on. Before you know it you're squirting on his hard length, screaming in pleasure then quickly in overstimulation as he doesn't let up, only pushing harder and harder. Your third orgasm hits you too fast and leaves you crying out as your brain completely shuts down to a white fog. The pain mixes into unbelievable pleasure. 

Finally, you feel your insides heat up. Feeling Miguel's cold sweat dropping onto your back as he finally came again with a loud moan and shuddering of his muscular body. The heat of his hot seed paints your insides white, as his cool sweat drips down on you. The mix of hot and cold has you twitching underneath him as he slows his thrusting to a snail's pace. Your eager pussy milks him of all his hot load.

He finally pulls out of you after he is thoroughly drained. You feel the sticky mix of both your arousal leaking out to your thighs. Rolling to your back you press your fingers to your fucked hole in a vain attempt to keep the warmth in. 

Miguel stands up and examines you, he chuckles to himself as he watches you try to keep his seed inside. Scooping you up in his arms he walks you to his office bathroom to clean you up. Exhausted, you rest your head on his warm chest, slowly catching your breath. Sure this wasn't your plan but you have a feeling that you have been successful in surprising him. As he carries you can't help yourself falling asleep in his arms. 

----

“Miguel! What is everyone talking about saying you have a pet cat now?”

Peter walks into Miguel's office but promptly freezes when he sees you asleep on a couch wrapped up in a large blanket. Miguel turns from his screens to meet Peter's confused gaze. Miguel looks towards you with affection watching you blissfully sleep. 

“Yeah, a stray followed me home. I think I’m going to keep her”

[indecenthoney]

What's Mine is Mine

--------------------------------------

I've learned over the years that people will interact with you whether you like it or not. And along the way, those people will hang around you. But my type of lady wouldn't quite agree with that. I love possessive partners! It can be a kind of hurdle to make them feel better after not giving them the attention they need. In some cases, they can completely shut off or be hostile.

"Just a little longer, okay? I'm still trying to catch up with some old friends... It's not like that... They're just old friends that I met a couple of years ago... They've been nice to me ever since... Okay, not that kind of nice... Dude c'mon... There's nothing to be jealous about... Just five more minutes? Okay? Thank you..."

She really is cute when she's jealous. I sometimes find her gripping at my clothes or staring my friends down. She usually has no problem with my guy friends. I guess it's the girls who she deems as threats. I do keep telling her that I have eyes for her, but even then words can only do so much. She can get a bit antsy if I take too long. She's like a puppy with separation anxiety.

"H-hey... What is it? Five minutes? Have you really been counting? Okay okay... Stop pulling on my shirt... Sorry, I'm gonna have to catch up with you another time... Nice seeing you though! Okay I'm coming I'm coming! Just stop pulling on the shirt... Okay... What? That was really not cool, dude... You know I only have eyes for you... and where even are we-"

She pulled me into a kiss. A needy anxious mess that didn't know what to do with herself. On the verge of tears, trying to get rid of that sickly jealous feeling. I embraced her even tighter and reciprocated that kiss. Shortly pulling back and seeing her entire body tremble. She didn't know what to say or what to do to feel better. She felt bad for being like this, but she couldn't help it. I smiled and carried her into the nearest bathroom. Going into an empty stall and placing her onto my lap. Taking off her shorts and spreading her legs open for me. I reach around to finger her from the back. Gently teasing the opening, groping her tits, biting her ear, overwhelming her senses. I didn't want her to think. Not a single thought in that spiraled mind.

"This what you wanted, no? Why fight it now? Because they'll hear you? Well, that all depends on you, doesn't it? Hahaha... Do your best, okay sweetie? Such a good girl... That's it... Cover your mouth... One finger should do for now, yeah? Your favorite middle finger... Fucking you silly... Making you into a drippy little mess... Keep those legs open, sweetheart... I'm not done yet..."

Every touch made her shake, she didn't even have a say on what she wanted done to her. My left arm curled around her like a chokehold. My right hand pumping into her; penetrating her whilst slapping her needy little cunt. My mouth attached to her ear leaving bite marks and licks that would send her into subspace in an instant. It would have been nice to keep going, but people walked in on us.

"Shhhh... They'll hear us, you know? Make sure to keep that pretty mouth shut, yeah? Stop? Hell no... You've been jealous all day... I wanna make my little princess feel better... Plus it'd be a mean thing to stop now... I know you're about to cum... You're already so tight around my fingers... Just a little more... I'll give you all the attention you want back home..."

A singular door separated us from them. Did that stop me? Of course not. I fingered her slowly. Ever so often gliding my finger against her clit. I sped up my hands causing her eyes to roll backwards from the immense pleasure. She squirted against the door of the stall. Shaking and cumming within my embrace. A little worn out but she felt better. I placed her down on the seat to take my cock out. Grabbing her head to fulfill my own selfish desires. Fucking into her mouth allowing her to take the full length of my cock slowly. Taking my time as others were slowly filling the room. Ignorant of what was actually going on in the stall. As I got closer, I pulled her tongue out. Jerking my load onto her. She happily sucked my fingers and the cum.

She really is a possessive one. Not a single drop of cum wasted.

I love her.

-------------------------------------------------

Be quiet,

Honey

[kaminokatie]

Armitage Hux Dating Headcannons

Synopsis - General Armitage Hux dating headcannons.

Warnings - SFW/NSFW.

Word Count -

[Caffeinate Me]

SFW:

: ��̀➛ At first, Armitage Hux was weary of you… Scared almost. After all, you were the sister of Kylo Ren. You shared many similarities with your brother, was bad temperament one of them? 

: ̗̀➛ Despite this, you consistently tried to show him that you weren’t a threat to him or his rank in the First Order. Alas, Armitage always kept a close eye on you from a distance. 

: ̗̀➛ One day, your brother and Armitage were engaged in a heated argument, one that had ended in Kylo force choking the ginger general, leading him to hang a few feet off the ground and pawing desperately at his throat. 

: ̗̀➛ Upon seeing the commotion from across the room, you quickly ran to Hux’s aid, pushing your brothers hand away and causing him to lose concentration. Hux fell from his spot in the air and onto his knees, quickly looking between you and Kylo Ren. 

: ̗̀➛ Unimpressed with your stunt, your brother stormed off in a huff leaving you alone with Hux who quickly averted his gaze from your form. 

: ̗̀➛ “You helped me?” He said, he questioned. His voice was full of surprise.

: ̗̀➛ “Why wouldn’t I?” You asked, holding your hand out to help him to his feet. 

: ̗̀➛ “I never thought you would go against your brother like that,” was all he said in response before taking your hand and standing to his feet. 

: ̗̀➛ When his hand touched yours, he felt an instant connection. One he never thought he’d feel from anybody. It shocked him so much, he immediately let go of your hand. You frowned at him but didn’t press the matter. 

: ̗̀➛ From that day, Armitage Hux felt differently about you. He couldn’t deny that when you thought about the day you had saved him from your brother's rage, his heartbeat quickened. Your answer to his question of why you had saved him had sent his head into a spiral; why had you saved him? 

: ̗̀➛ Armitage Hux kept a closer eye on you from across the bridge. Watching as you worked with your colleagues, the red lightsaber on your hilt seemingly unused since he had met you. 

: ̗̀➛ It was a few days after and you had decided to approach Hux. 

: ̗̀➛ “How are you feeling?” You asked him, hand reaching out to touch his shoulder comfortingly.

: ̗̀➛ He tensed up at your reaction and moved away, clearing his throat. “Better.”

: ̗̀➛ You were confused but didn’t press the matter, just giving him a quick smile before returning to your post. 

: ̗̀➛ Armitage Hux found himself falling for you quickly after your limited interactions. His heart continued to beat faster when you were near and he found himself watching you more and more on the bridge. 

: ̗̀➛ He felt an unpleasant feeling in his stomach when he saw you talking to male co-workers, one he knew was jealousy. He wasn’t sure how to quell his jealousy however. 

: ̗̀➛ He still kept his distance from you for a while longer. 

: ̗̀➛ “You’ve been acting weird,” you say to Hux one day. 

: ̗̀➛ He looks around to see the two of you were alone. He stammers his words out, throat dry from nerves. “I am?” 

: ̗̀➛ “You are,” you say bluntly. “Why?” 

: ̗̀➛ Hux shakes his head. “I don’t know.” 

: ̗̀➛ You raise your arm to use the force and Hux flinches, thinking he’s about to get force choked when suddenly, he feels you in his mind. You're rifling through all his personal thoughts, and you see yourself. When you’re finished probing his mind, you drop your arm and looked at him in bewilderment. 

: ̗̀➛ “You like me?” You asked, stunned. 

: ̗̀➛ Hux stayed silent as you circled him, confusion evident in your eyes. 

: ̗̀➛ “You like me?” You repeated. 

: ̗̀➛ Hux still remained silent, but nodded his head. You grinned and stopped circling him once you reached his front. 

: ̗̀➛ “I like you too, General,” you smirked. 

: ̗̀➛ There was an unspoken romantic relationship between the two of you from that day on. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. It was… Nice. 

: ̗̀➛ At first, nobody knew about your relationship. It was kept quiet. Hux would invite you to his quarters during the ‘night’ so the two of you could have some quality time together. You would sit and talk about the events of the day, discuss First Order plans and talk about yourself. 

: ̗̀➛ Hux loved to listen to you speak. Your voice was a comfort for him. He could listen to you talk all day about the most miniscule of things. 

: ̗̀➛ Always sent gifts to your quarters to let you know that he was thinking of you when he couldn’t be with you. 

: ̗̀➛ Would always admire you from across the bridge. Watching the way you interacted with your brother, calming him down when things got a little too heated.

: ̗̀➛ Your first kiss happened on a date night in his quarters. You were both laying on his bed watching a movie on his holopad when all of a sudden Hux grabbed your hand. You weren’t startled by his action, just confused. But he pulled you closer so you were hovering over him, staring into each other's eyes. 

: ̗̀➛ He searched your eyes for any signs of uncomfort before pressing his lips to yours softly in the most brain-melting kiss you had ever had. 

: ̗̀➛ Your brother is the first to find out. Probing Hux’s mind to find out why he has been acting so differently lately. In his mind, he sees the two of you getting hot and heavy in a make-out session. 

: ̗̀➛ Kylo see’s red. He automatically chokes Hux (once again) to get more information out of him. And yet again, you come to his aid. 

: ̗̀➛ “What is the meaning of this?” Kylo snaps as you help Hux off the ground. 

: ̗̀➛ “The meaning of what?” You snap back. Your brother holds his unlit lightsaber close, ready to ignite it at a moment's notice. 

: ̗̀➛ “You and him!” He says, venom dripping from his tongue.

: ̗̀➛ “I love him, Kylo,” you say back.

: ̗̀➛ Hux jaw drops. The two of you had never said you love each other before. So to hear you say it for the first time, and to your brother of all people, it made his heart soar.   

: ̗̀➛ “I love her too,” Hux whimpers, his throat hoarse and dry. 

: ̗̀➛ Once again, Kylo storms off in a huff. He can’t believe you and Hux are together. 

: ̗̀➛ Hux will propose to you very early on. He knows you’re the one for him and won’t let you slip away from him. Of course, you say yes. 

: ̗̀➛ Wedding plans are swift and relatively easy. Hux takes care of almost everything, giving you the perfect wedding you had always dreamt of. 

: ̗̀➛ People of the First Order are surprisingly happy for the two of you, offering their congratulations in the hallway and on the bridge as the two of you walk side-by-side.

NSFW: 

: ̗̀➛ Hux is a virgin, 100%. 

: ̗̀➛ Will be nervous about your first time, and will constantly be thinking about it. What if he messes up somehow? What if he hurts you by accident?

: ̗̀➛ You initiate the first time during a heavy make-out session. You kiss down his neck, undoing the shirt of his uniform as you trail your lips further down. When you reach the waistband of his trousers, Hux is breathing heavily. You look up to see his eyes are closed and his lips are parted ever so slightly. You undo his trousers and pull out his heavy cock, licking the tip and earning a shiver from the general above you. You give him a quick blowjob, it’s so quick you wonder if he was even satisfied but he was the one that pulled your head away with whines that he was gonna cum if you carried on. 

: ̗̀➛ Your first time was slow and sweet. You were on top, taking control and showing Hux what you liked and where you liked it. He listened to every word you said, ingraining it into his memory so that he would remember for next time. 

: ̗̀➛ He cums quick, but not too quick that you were unsatisfied.

: ̗̀➛ From that day on Hux will take you whenever he wants, wherever he wants. In the middle of a shift? Meet him in a supply closet. At night? Come to his room sweetheart, he’ll take care of you. 

: ̗̀➛ Has a fantasy about fucking you on the bridge. Maybe one day the two of you can make it happen. 

: ̗̀➛ Favourite position is doggy. He loves being able to see your arse bounce when he thrusts into you. There’s something about it that sends him absolutely feral. Especially when he paws at your tits and feels them bouncing from the force of his pounding. 

: ̗̀➛ He enjoys being dominant in the bedroom. He loves having power over you, telling you what to do etc etc. However, when you bring up the idea of you being in control for one night, he thinks about it. 

: ̗̀➛ At first, he was weary about being submissive, but after he realised he thoroughly enjoyed it. He loved letting you use him like a toy to get off however you wanted to get off. 

: ̗̀➛ Therefore he’s a switch. Sometimes he’s dominant and sometimes he’s submissive. 

: ̗̀➛ At the end of the day, Hux uses sex to show you how much he loves you. Always taking care of you afterwards and making sure that you’re happy and content.

[fairycosmos]

hi, just curious if you're able to answer this, what happened with becca? currently struggling with a sibling with addiction issues and wanted to get some perspective

she'd been on and off drugs experimentally/recreationally since she was like 17, but when the pandemic hit in 2020 she spiralled very quickly over the course of a few months into addiction which was worsened by her dating (and moving the guy into our house) another person struggling with severe addiction. we tried to kick him out when she got bad but they basically went out onto the streets together so we had to let them back in. to make a long story much shorter she was on a lot more shit than we realised, she choked in her sleep on aug 25 2020 and had a cardiac arrest. cpr didn't help, her shitty boyfriend didn't help, nothing helped. it was too late basically. all of this is messed up and blurry in my head so there's much more to it than that but that's the gist of it. in the weeks leading up i tried tirelessly to talk to her about it, mostly over text even though we were all living in the same house but in seperate rooms due to covid at the time. i would send her these big walls of text about how this wasn't right and how bad things were and she would agree but basically just mollify me, lie to me etc though i do believe that having those conversations was nessecary. just letting her know that i understand, that i'm here, that i know she's scared and in immense pain but that we can make small steps in the right direction together etc. while also being almost harsh and upfront about the harm she is causing and the way she was hurting herself and everyone around her. she had a doctor's appointment booked the week after she died to talk about the drugs and i do think she intended on going, but she was just such a mess. i don't have any concrete advice because it felt so hopeless at the time, talking to her was like talking to a brick wall. i was so fucking angry and upset about her situation and the way she was that it was hard to even interact with her sometimes. the spiral was so fast with her and that made it so difficult to guage what to do. but if you can continue talking to them on a human level, bringing up examples of their recent behaviour that has crossed the line, pushing for the idea of seeing a professional/local addiction resources or hotlines, then that's all you can do. i know how hard this is on you too and i know it is a special type of exhausting and endless hell to love an addict. all you can do is try your best not to facilliate the addiction while doing what you can to support getting them into recovery. there are a lot of addiction centers, support groups and hotlines that offer advice and support for loved ones - i would really encourage you to seek those out for more professional and exstensive guidance. i really hope they get clean eventually and i reall hope you're taking care of yourself and being kind with yourself throughout this whole thing. i'm really sorry it's happening to you, your sibling and your family. please know i'm here if you ever need a friend or someone to vent to about it. x

supporting someone with addiction / how to help an addict without enabling / helping someone who is misusing drugs or alcohol/ info about interventions / how to help a friend or family member with addiction / tips for supporting someone recovering from addiction/overcoming drug addiction

[deansapplepie]

Till THE DEAD do us part |Chapter 13

A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story. This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.

Chapter 12 Chapter 14

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 13: This group’s broken

Summary: Randall is still a problem the group needs solve and come to an agreement about. The happenings of the barn is still something shaking some people. Feelings and traumas from the past comes to haunt Y/N making her anxiety boil and overthink a lot.

Warnings: swearing, angst, death, mentions of violence, gore, suicide attempt (not narrated, but mentioned), mentions of depression, mentions of torture, mentions of execution, traumas, anxiety, mentions of abusive relationships, fear of abandonment, brief discreet mentions of sex, loss, grief. Minors do not interact.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)

Word Count: 5,834

Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love. Also, there’s a bunch of warnings in this one but there’s also fluff, comfort and a bit of fun.

Finally Randall’s leg was well enough so he could survive alone in the wild that was Earth now, so Rick and Shane would carry him miles away from the farm and release him. You weren’t very happy about Rick going alone with Shane.

“Let me go with you, please.” You pleaded Rick for the millionth time, Shane wasn’t someone reliable anymore, you couldn’t risk losing your brother again and have Shane coming back with some lame excuse how he made for Otis.

“Y/N, I’m the one here with self defense skills, not you. I can handle myself well without you. I need you here.” Rick said, and that would be the last time he would tell you, he was losing his temper already. “No discussion.”

“Be careful, please. He’s dangerous.” You hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

“I’ll be, don’t worry. I need this time alone with him. I’m coming back.” He assured you and hoped it would really turn out like this, because you could see the madness in his eyes, and by how we was obsessed with Lori… you didn’t doubt he would be able to do atrocities even to his ‘brother’.

After they left, you couldn’t get rid of the uneasy feeling you had on the pitch of your stomach. You were going to help around in the farm and in the house, but your mind couldn’t stop the worry. You were giving the horses water when you heard a knock on the stables door, you look to your side and you saw Daryl. As much as the idea of scaring you was tempting enough, he chose not to do so.

“Just wanted to let ya know I’m gonna hunt, maybe bring somethin’ good.” He approached you.

“Ok, be careful, please and don’t come back late. I’m already worried enough by Rick.” You said, then looked both sides and didn’t see anyone around. You tiptoed and pecked his lips.

He blushed, he had been doing way more than this with you and he blushed because you gave him a small kiss inside a stable where the only witnesses were the horses. He knew you were worried about Rick being alone with Shane, things between you and Shane had gone bad since the day of the happenings of the barn and it was just going down. When Daryl told you one night that he thought Shane had killed Otis, things spiraled really quick and you started seeing Shane with different eyes, many attitudes from him made sense actually. He wasn’t the person that you used to know anymore.

“Dun worry. Rick’s tough, he basically came back from the dead, nothing bad is happening to him.” He said, he could practically read your mind and know everything you were thinking about it.

“And you?”

“Me too. I’m gonna be careful. I promise, I’ll be back in one piece.” He gave you a quick kiss, you said your goodbyes and you went back to your chores.

Lori was inside the house helping with the chores and also helping Maggie taking care of Beth. She was still not good, she was in a state of depression that got all of you worried. Lori was preparing a lunch for Beth, so you were around the kitchen with her and Maggie. Maggie was talking about Glenn with Lori, you decided to not participate of the conversation, but you were listening to everything. Lori was more experienced on the topic of relationships, you knew what was good or not, but just theoretically. Until now you had had just one boyfriend before Daryl and it was a shitty experience, so you didn’t know if you had something wise to say even though you were older than Maggie. You thought it was a bit too much when Lori said that Glenn should man up, imagine saying it to the young man, he would be sad or really offended, or both.

“Glenn is just scared, he’s a good guy. You’re probably his first love, I can’t say it for sure, but that’s what it seems. He’ll overcome this fear of him. Don’t worry.” You passed an arm on Maggie’s shoulder and gave a little squeeze on her arm to reassure her.

“And how about you and grumpy man? Have you already said the words?” She elbowed you playfully.

“Hmm… no. Not exactly. I don’t know if it’s like this.” You said, you were always reserved about your personal matters, always keeping everything to yourself, afraid to let people know your feelings or to be exposed and feel weak. But maybe, some girl talk wouldn’t be that bad. “He said the other day I was his and I also said it to him…” You paused thinking if you’d say the other thing that came to your mind to them.

“And…?” Lori asked. “We know there’s more. Spill it.”

“He… he said that his… you know… was mine.” You blushed instantly talking about it and thinking about it. Was it correct to tell such thing to others? You never knew what was ok, and what wasn’t, but it’s not like if you were telling all the sordid details of what you two did.

Lori made a face as if she was thinking ‘wow, the man really have some balls’ and Maggie just had a fit of giggles, giving you a side hug and squeezing you. “It’s almost the same thing as saying that 3 words.” Maggie observed.

“It isn’t, this is possessiveness which is normal in relationships even the healthy ones. But anybody can have this without love.” You told Maggie, she was young, probably didn’t have unhealthy relationships she wouldn’t know. You were maybe 8 or 9 years older than her, it was a different experience, especially with broken people.

“Well… everybody can see, but we can’t stop you from being stubborn. I need to go help Glenn, but if you need anything you can call me.” She said and then turned to Lori. “Thank you so much for helping with Beth.”

“It’s nothing really.” Lori said and got the tray to give lunch for Beth.

You stayed at the house and helped Lori at the kitchen, you washed some dishes and cleaned and organized the room. After one hour or so, Lori went to Beth’s room to get the tray back. She came back with untouched food, Beth couldn’t continue like that. When she was throwing away what Beth didn’t eat, she suddenly stopped and ran from the kitchen.

“What happened? Lori?” You asked her, but she was already gone. She came back a knife in hand and in a rush.

“Go and Keep an eye on Beth. I’m gonna bring Maggie or Hershel.” She said and left.

You left the kitchen and went to Beth’s room, on your way you put the pieces together and realized Beth had hidden the knife and was probably going to attempt something against herself. Soon Lori arrived with Maggie and Andrea, Maggie asked to be left alone with Beth and all of you went back to the kitchen.

You were trying to be in good terms with Andrea again, so you decided you’d try not to talk back at her when she said stupid things, even though they were talking about Beth. You just stayed there watching while they talked Andrea thought Beth should make her own choice, which is very different from what happened with her. Beth is just a kid and she’s not dying because she was bitten, so why let her commit suicide? She should be talked to and taken care of to help her get better. You bit your tongue trying to not express yourself, but you just couldn’t contain it when Andrea brought up the fact that Lori had her husband back, her child was saved, she had a baby on the way and had a ‘boyfriend’. And Andrea had to finish bringing you up in the middle of the thing, did you disagree with her? Yes. But did you say anything about it? No, just on your mind. So why bring you to the discussion?

“And you…” She pointed at you startling you at the suddenly call. “You have your brother, your nephew, a new nibling on the way and you’re fucking Dixon like rabbits, you would never understand.”

“Andrea, are you serious? I wasn’t even in the discussion. Why do you always involve me in your shit? You don’t get to speak like this to Lori, we had a lot of blessings, but we also suffered like everyone else. Do you think we were happy the whole time we thought Rick was dead? Or that it didn’t cross our minds that Carl was going to die? You think we didn’t suffer because of Amy, Jim, Jacqui, Sophia or all the others lost we had along the way?” She said everything she wanted to Lori and now she was going to listen to you. “And why do you mind who I fuck? You’re fucking Shane, and nobody told you a word. Mind your own business.”

You almost didn’t stop to breath while the words just came out of your mouth like a waterfall. “I wasn’t going to say anything regarding Beth, but she’s only sixteen. She’s a kid, we have to protect her and try to help her get better, and not encourage the way out. Andrea, I think we’re never going to be in good terms again, there’s no way. You’re not the same anymore.”

You left the house and went back to the camp, finding Carl and Luna playing with a stick. Carl had been acting colder and colder in the last days, it was good to see him being a kid, even if it was for a brief moment. You played a little with them, but to be honest you were still nervous about Andrea and worried about Beth.

After 30 minutes, maybe one hour, you didn’t know exactly, you heard a commotion in the house. You told Carl to stay there and ran to see what happened. When you arrived to the source Lori and Maggie had just opened the door to the bathroom and there was a crying Beth, hand on her bleeding pulse, asking for help and saying she was sorry. You learned Maggie had left Beth alone with Andrea and it was her biggest mistake, because she left the girl alone and God knows what she said to her. Maggie had a fight with Andrea and told her to never again step in the house. You were done, your stress level was up on the sky already.

When it was almost getting dark you saw Daryl coming back, you walked in his direction happy to see him and have an excuse to not be in the camp, hence near to Andrea. You met him halfway, he had some rabbits and squirrels, you knew it probably wasn’t what he really wanted but you were grateful for any meat that he brought back.

“I thought you’d never comeback.” You said walking by his side.

“I said I’d comeback.” He answered and took a quick glance at you. “Jus’ didn’t wanna comeback without something.”

“We’re all grateful to you, bringing meat or not.” You said while you arrived the small camp of yours.

He took everything he needed to start to skin what he brought and clean so it would be ready for consumption. You sat near him observing his work, you never tried, but now you had observed him doing it so much that you’d probably be able to skin something if you needed or wanted to.

“Wha’s wrong?” He asked still concentrated on his job. Once again, you were surprised on how he could know something was not right. “I can see all over ya that somethin’ is bothering ya.”

“Today was a stressful day” You propped your elbows on your knees and rested your face between your hands. You recalled all the situation with Beth and Andrea, and you just wish this day didn’t happen, and it was far from being one of your worst days.

“Wha’ happened?” He lifted his head from his work and took a look at you. You looked tired, everyone was always tired nowadays, but it was not only physical it seemed that your mind was also tired.

“Andrea was a bitch. I swear I tried to be on good terms with her again. And Beth tried the way out, I believe encouraged by Andrea. Maggie left them alone and Andrea also left Beth alone.” You gave him the short story of all that happened. “I should have gone with you.”

“Yeah, ya should.” That was his way of saying ‘I missed you’.

Soon you saw the car in which Rick, Shane and Randall left arriving back in the property. When you saw Rick getting off the car you felt relieved to see him, but apparently they had comeback with Randall. Shit, it wasn’t over. As soon as Daryl finished skinning and cleaning the hunt, you went to to the camp to meet Rick and know what happened.

Once you arrived you saw that Rick had bruises and cuts on his face, no way it was the kid, walkers? No. It was Shane. Damn, he had the audacity to attack Rick. You didn’t even think, you turned around, hot headed and ready to go look for Shane and beat the hell out of him.

“Where d’ya think ya’re going?” Daryl hold your arm stopping you to go anywhere. He knew where you were going, sometimes he could read you so easily that it surprised him.

“I’m going to give Shane hell, nobody gets to touch my brother.” You yanked your arm from Daryl’s hand, just for him to catch you again, holding his arms around you so you couldn’t go. That wasn’t the moment for you to be reckless.

“Y/N, do you think I was just beaten? I also beat him.” Rick reasoned with you.

“Either way, it wasn’t enough, he deserves worse.” You said, still fighting – in vain - in Daryl’s arm.

“Woman, stop. Ya’re being more hot-head and stubborn than me.” Daryl turned you around and hold you by the shoulders. “Look at me.” He commanded, and you looked at him, right in his beautiful blue eyes. “Don’t do anything stupid. He’s uncontrollable and ya know it. If he lays a finger on ya, I dunno what I’m capable of doing and I dun wanna find out.”

“Ok.” You answered and didn’t try to go for Shane, but you still felt like ending him. “Why did you bring the kid back?” You directed the question to Rick.

“He said he studied with Maggie. Which means he knows where the farm is.” Rick ran his hand on his face. “We’ll need another solution.”

The other day, after breakfast, Daryl went to the room where Randall was, he said he was going to talk with him. It was taking a long time for him to return and you were starting to get worried.

“Ok, that’s it. I’m going to see what is taking him so long to come back.” You told your brother.

“Don’t, the kid is handcuffed. There’s nothing he can do against Daryl.” Rick said standing on your way. “I don’t wanna you close to that guy.”

“I think you had said you’d stop treating me like a child, Rick.” You looked at his face and you could see there was something wrong. “Are you two hiding something? That’s it? Now you have secret agreements between both of you?”

Before Rick could say anything, you saw Daryl coming in your direction. Was that Blood on his hand? ‘Holy shit! What the hell have you done Daryl Dixon?’, you thought. He arrived telling you all the information he got from the kid, there were 30 in his group, they were violent and dangerous, they raped women. You followed Daryl to your tent, you could feel he was still angry, so you were thinking about what should be the best approach.

“D. Let me see your hands.” You requested and he started organizing his things to leave and go into the woods.

“There’s nothing to see, I’m good.” He said with some arrows in his hand.

“Daryl.” He ignored you.

“Daryl Dixon.” He ignored you again, stuffing things on his backpack, so you just got close to him silently and yanked his backpack throwing it on the ground.

“What the fuck Y/N?” He shouted at you, now you had his full attention.

“Stop, this shit! I’m talking to you, your hands are hurt! Let me take care of them.” You told him your voice high. He looked at you impatient. You took his hand and guided him to one of the beach chairs. “Sit.”

“I ain’t a dog.” He complained while you made him sit.

“So, why are you obeying me?” You threw back while you picked the First Aid kit inside the tent. You were playing with fire and you knew it.

He tried to get up while he mumbled something in protest that you couldn’t understand. But you were faster than him and pressed his shoulder down so he would sit again. You took the other chair and brought it close to him, sitting in front of him, your legs between his so you could be closer to take care of his hand.

“Gimme your paw, I mean, your hand.” You joked one hand extended on his direction waiting for him to give you his hand. “If I’m a puppy, you might as well be one. Or maybe you’re a Kitten, you are as skittish as one.”

He gave you his left hand very reluctantly, but he knew you would not let him be if he didn’t. You took his hand and saw how his knuckles were hurt, your heart ache by seeing his hand like this, but you also felt uneasy about the young man that was on the other side of his fist. You took some alcohol and wet a cotton swab to pass where he was hurt.

“It’s gonna hurt.” You alerted him, he didn’t say anything. He just observed your small hand holding his and tendering his wounds with the cotton swab, hissing when it hurt too much. “Did Rick ask you to do this?”

“No.” He answered, short… good he didn’t want to talk.

“Did he know about it?”

“Maybe.” He answered eyes on your hands now cleaning the wounds with boric-water.

“Or he did or he didn’t. Gonna take it as he did, he was acting suspect.” You stated, looking at your first aid kit for some ointment.

“Are ya angry at me?” He asked while you passed the ointment on his wounds.

“No, just concerned and upset. Gimme your other hand.” You took his other hand and started to give the same care. “I don’t like both of you hiding things from me.”

“ ‘m sorry, ya dun agree with what I’ve done, do ya?” He asked, head still down paying attention to you.

“Torturing isn’t right.”

“I didn’t have an option, we needed the information about his group.” You cleaned his other hand. “His group… the things he said they did… he’s not someone to be around or for us to let go, he knows where the farm is.”

“So, do you think we should kill him?” You asked a cotton swab passing on his hand.

“Yes.” He said, you were conflicted. You were always taught that killing was wrong, you can’t take life from someone. Unless it’s a walker, of course. Or, if your life is in danger. But execute someone? It sounded wrong, but at the same time… you should think about the group safety. “Don’t ya agree?”

“I don’t know… I think it’s wrong, but I also see that we’re out of better options.” You passed the ointment on his hand.

“Are ya comin’ to the woods with me?” He asked a little apprehensive that you wouldn’t want to be with him because you were upset.

“Thought you’d never ask.” You looked at him and smiled, no way you’d be stuck in the farm again in the middle of all the chaos.

You were having things done to go, when you saw Dale arriving followed by Luna swinging her tail. Dale came to talk to you about the decision of killing Randall, he wanted to know what both of you thought, and of course try to convince you otherwise if you thought the boy should be killed.

“I’m not sure Dale, really. At the same time I think we shouldn’t, I don’t see any other solution.” You said, despite you thought your opinion would not be so important in the end. Dale tried reasoning with Daryl to no avail.

“This group’s broken.” He said, and when you heard that… you couldn’t help but feel bad. Was really your group broken? Did Daryl think the group wasn’t good enough for him anymore? Did he want to leave? Would he leave without you? Would he even tell you if he decided to leave? Was he tired of you?

You were so caught up in your anxious thoughts that you didn’t even saw that Dale was long gone and Daryl was calling you so you could go. “Pup, what’s wrong?” He asked, his hand waving in front of you worried.

“Nothing.” You lied, and he knew you lied. “Let’s go?”

He got his things, you got yours, Luna followed you and you walked silently until you reached the woods. You were open and comfortable with Daryl, you always were and it even annoyed you some times, because you would speak whatever is on your mind, and in your opinion you said things you shouldn’t say. But you couldn’t talk about your feelings, or you tried not to, because of a bunch of insecurities clouding your thoughts. He wasn’t also very comfortable about talking about feelings, so it was understandable, but at the same time he felt uneasy if he didn’t know everything that’s on your mind. He held your hand and it startled you from your unstoppable thoughts.

“Ya lied again.” He didn’t took his eyes from the woods searching for any danger or possible hunt. His voice didn’t change the tone, there was no anger or negative feelings on his speaking.

“I don’t wanna talk about my feelings.” You said looking at your feet attentive to where you stepped, your other hand slightly brushing over Luna’s head.

“But I want to know what ya’re feeling. I need to.” He said, damn… did he sound vulnerable? Was he weak? He couldn’t allow himself to look pathetic and weak, but he also didn’t want to mistreat you. “ ‘m not good talking ‘bout feelings, but I always need to know yers.”

You stopped walking and you turned to him, now holding both of his hands, or more like his hands engulfing yours. “Be honest.”

“Never lied to ya.” He said looking at your face while you were looking down at your hands. “Look at me, please.”

You lifted your head, looking right at his eyes and all you saw was worry. You took a deep breath taking all the courage you had to speak. “Are you…” ‘not happy with me?’ You wanted to complete but stopped mid-sentence. “Do you wanna leave us?”

“Of course not. Where did this come from?” He asked, but before you could answer his mind started to put the pieces together. “That’s because I said the group’s broken, isn’t it?”

“Yes” you said, just that. Unable to say more or add anything else that were running like a tornado inside your mind.

“It wasn’t a lie. I think the group’s broken. Shane’s crazy. Andrea’s reckless and listens to Shane. Carol’s still broken because of Sophia. Glenn… if Hershel decided to kick us from the farm, he’d stay behind and I don’t blame him. This group isn’t like it used to be, not that we were perfect befor’ , we never were.” You took all his words putting everything together and trying to reason what he said. Still feeling uneasy. “Wha’s on yer head?”

“It’s just… when you said it, it seemed like you didn’t care anymore about the group or what happens with it.” You looked at his growing bangs that fell on his forehead, or you wouldn’t be able to say it if you looked at his eyes. “Or…” You paused, no, no, you couldn’t say what you were thinking not at all. You’d scare him, he’d leave you.

“Or wha’ baby?” You looked at his eyes again, and with the worry you saw a softness that you didn’t quite know what it meant. He never called you ‘baby’ outside of the sheets and it made your heart jump and butterflies fly in your stomach.

“Or…” you shifted your eyes to look at your hands, tears threatening to fall. Shit. Why were you so emotional and making a big thing of something this small. “That you didn’t want me and would leave.”

Things had been so good between both of you, that Daryl forgot you still had traumas from your past relationship, traumas that would trigger only when you were in a relationship and could experience things again. And now, was one of those moments. He couldn’t imagine half the shit you’ve been put through so you’d think he would leave you or that he didn’t want you, after he asked you to live with him, after he showed you his scars… after both of you broke so many walls that were built around yourselves.

He let go of your hands and hugged you, you always reassured him when he had his insecurities, now was the moment for him to do the same for you. “I ain’t leaving.” One of his arms was around your waist while the other was in your head bringing your face to hide between his chest and shoulder. “I want ya, and I dun see myself not wanting ya any time soon.”

It was as if a tap was open and the tears that were in your eyes fell making you let little sniffs and hold both hands on Daryl’s vest. “I told Rick, and I’m telling ya now, I ain’t playing with ya.” He didn’t put any names on what you had, he never said ‘I like you’ or ‘I love you’, he didn’t even know how to name what he felt or if he could feel any of those things. But he knew he wanted you, he needed you and he was going to protect you. He had already told you, you were his and indirectly that he was yours, but he couldn’t bring any of those words, these simple words scared him… So he said what he could manage to come out of his mouth. “We’re together.”

You took your face from his chest and looked at his face, he was serious, this wasn’t any sick joke. You should’ve known, you knew Daryl, he wasn’t like that… and you never doubted it. You shouldn’t start doing it now just because you had a relationship. He was not him. He was Daryl and you knew you could trust him. “I’m sorry. I think my period is close, or something…” It was probably something, but you could always blame the hormones, so why not?

He kissed the top of your head tenderly and looked at your face again, now you were better. You looked more like yourself when there wasn’t all those intrusive thoughts and anxiety. “What do ya say I teach ya a little bit of hunting and tracking?” He asked.

“I was waiting for the day you’d offer me this.” You smiled, your hands now resting flat open on his chest. “I’d love if you taught me.”

When it was close to sunset you and Daryl came back to the farm, you didn’t hunt anything as he taught you were still learning so it didn’t go good. He held your hand in his intertwining your fingers and you walked in silence, Luna leading the way in front of you sometimes stopping to wait for your slow asses.

In the moment you arrived at the farm Rick made a call, he was waiting for both of you to make a reunion so everyone could say their opinions about the boy Randall. Everyone except Dale wanted to kill the young man, Dale was extremely disappointed. You still didn’t know what to think about it, but you knew Dale was right.

“I’m with Dale.” You suddenly said and walked to stay by Dale’s side, even though you knew there was no way of winning the vote, you wanted to stay true to yourself. “He’s not his group and as far as we know he didn’t commit a crime that he deserves death penalty.”

You felt like you would combust at any moment just by the stares of Rick and Daryl that didn’t quite understand why you were siding with Dale and not thinking clearly about the wellbeing of the group. Shane also looked at you like you were insane, but you didn’t give a single fuck about it, so it was ok. The others were neutral at you. Soon Andrea also said she was with Dale, but in the end you three weren’t enough to deprive the group from killing Randall.

Everybody left the room to continue their activities, it was getting dark so Daryl, Rick and Shane would take the prisoner to do what they needed to. You were ready to descend the porch stairs when Daryl held your arm slightly and put you aside.

“We need to talk.” He said, and you already knew.

“Is it because I agreed with Dale?” You asked, you knew the answer. “Do you hate me because I disagreed from the group?” All that mattered was that if he would change about you just because you didn’t agree with them.

“Yeah, and I dun hate ya.” Actually it was quite the opposite, but he was concerned about your choices.

“I knew the majority of us would choose his death, my vote would make no difference. So I decided to stay true to myself.” You said, you could see understanding crossing his face by each word you said. “Just because I don’t think it’s right, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be done.”

He nodded at you. “Alright, I ain’t upset. Go stay with Lori while we do this.”

You were with Lori when you saw the three taking Randall to the barn, you held your sister’s hand as a comfort for you. You weren’t going to see the execution, but knowing someone, a human being would be killed in the same place you were was scaring. You were comfortable killing walkers, they weren’t alive anymore, they were just walking corpses. In reality you thought it was merciful to kill the monster that once was a person.

“Don’t think much about it, it’s worse if you do.” Lori tried to calm your nerves, but it was impossible to not think about it.

After some time you didn’t listen to any gun shot and soon you saw Rick and Carl arriving to camp. Wait, Carl? Shit. Shit. Shit. Rick explained that Carl went there to see and that he was encouraging to kill the man. What was happening to the kid? He couldn’t lose himself so quickly like this. Rick wasn’t able to do this with Carl looking, so he postponed the execution.

“Where’s Daryl?” You asked, you saw everyone but him.

“He’s locking Randall again, he’s probably gonna be here soon.” As soon as he finished talking all of you listened to extremely pained screams.

Dale!

You ran in the direction of the screams, Daryl being the first to arrive started shouting for help. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It was bad. All of you arrived almost at the same time and what you saw was heartbreaking, all his guts coming out of his ripped stomach. No. You cried. No.

“Hershel!” Rick shouted, the only thing he thought was you all needed him there to take care of Dale.

“It’s too late, Rick.” You said, tears rolling down your cheeks. You knew as much medicine as Hershel knew, both of you vets, the old man was just more experienced and have treated more people than you, that had only cleaned T.’s wound and took care of Daryl’s hands. “There’s nothing he can do.”

Hershel arrived and said the same thing, you couldn’t even move Dale. He was agonizing. Andrea pleaded that someone did something. Everyone was in pain by seeing Dale like that. He didn’t deserve this kind of death. Rick aimed his gun at Dale, it was best if someone ended this for him. You turned your back, you didn’t want to see, you had already seen more than you wanted to see. You wait for the gun shot, but before you listen to it there’s a raspy voice. “Sorry, brother.” And soon after Daryl’s voice the sound of the shot.

You were waiting for the shot. You knew it was going to happen, but you jumped at it a cry living your lips. You covered your mouth trying to muffle your sobs. You felt a pain in your chest, everybody felt it. There were cries, sobs and lamenting.

That night you cried yourself to sleep, and it wasn’t a peaceful one, even having Daryl’s soothing presence near you.

Dale was the group’s heart and now you felt like your group were definitely broken.

Wanna be add to my tag list? Let me know. (Please tell me if you want to be tagged on everything or just specific series)

Everything Taglist: @lilyevanstan1325

Till THE DEAD do us part Taglist: @sunnybunnyy2 @royaltysuite @isakyakiisak @milopenne @murdadixon

[hdra77]

Ok since this blog is kinda getting alot of attention i'll just make a pinned post about a little bit of myself

---- interested in commissioning me? my art commission page can be found here! i accept payment through ko-fi or paypal! feel free to dm to inquire or if you have questions! :D

!! DISCLAIMER !!

Btw please read this before following my blog!! There would be gore,body horror,dark themes and even some suggestive themes Sometimes but overall i do not post any explicit nsfw here !! (they can be filtered through tags but just putting this here as a heads up)

tags are usually: #cw body horror, #tw body horror #cw gore, #tw gore, #cw suggestive, #tw suggestive

Heyy! i'm Soren!

He/Him

You can call me zarou or dra

I am bilingual but im more comfortable speaking in english (still bad at it actually)

i really like cybercore,webcore,warcore aesthetic it may not look like it right now but expect a whole bunch of techcore designs soon

Oh and i am also a huge fan of astronomy,space and all of that sort. Along with post apocalyptic settings,body horror elements and eldritch beings.

Using my art as PFPs/Banners is okay! As long as you give proper credit! But reuploading my works without my permission or claiming them as your own is NOT okay. I will find you and i will hunt you down and turn you into a helpless flopping fish gasping for air.

Inspirations is ok too!! But please do not directly copy from the original work.

Commissions: open

Art trades: friends/mutuals only

my DNI are basically the general DNI: proshippers,homophobes,etc. you know, the general

my interest varies but i currently hyperfixtate on these fandoms so far:

Rainworld

Nine Sols

Marikinonline4

Animator vs Animation/Animation vs Minecraft

Warrior cats

My dms here are also open so feel free to send me a message! (No weird dms or you get instant block)

Im busy and i dont check discord as frequently but i would be happy to talk to you! I would also be glad to make friends im not intimidating i promise i dont bite totally-

My ask box are always open! Ask me anything basically, my aus, ocs, pretty much anything. You can also send some requests but they will take a gajillion years to finish but i promise ill get them done soon!

My socials:

Twitter - HINDRANCE77 (!! page contains some suggestive themes !!)

Youtube - HINDRANCE77

Tumblr - hdra77 (you are literally here right now)

Ko-fi - HINDRANCE77

My tags:

#hdra7shitposts - yes, shitposts

#fishdoesart - all my art comes here

#fishdoesdoodles - random doodles and some occasional shitposting, mostly on ms paint

#fishdoesrequests - all my art requests comes here, so far this is where you find my ship requests (still open for now btw)

#wips - wips

#fishbites.txt - ramblings

#othersart - gifts/fanarts! Sometimes some reblogs

#asks - all of my responses comes here

My other blogs:

@nyaworld-askblog - for the nyaworld au! this blog is story driven but asks for specific characters are always welcome!

@fallowclans-unruly-demise - for a warrior cats clangen blog, still stuck in hiatus void

My Rainworld AU tags:

#rw voided au - simple AU about iterators called voideds who drains void fluids out of other iterators, theres also some rot infection going on too

#rw disarray au/SYSTEM FAILURE - a virus in Lttm's code had created a fatal error in her system which caused her to slowly spiral into insanity as she would slowly loosen her grip onto reality, claiming that she had found the solution to their problem..but was it really the answer all along?

#rw nyaworld au - joke au about the entire rainworld cast taking place in the 2000's this one is purely just for nostalgia purposes

#into the sigverse - technically considered an au. this is just a silly little askblog about different versions of NSH interacting because for some reason they can now magically interact with different alternate universe versions of themselves. ocs being used to interact is allowed to!! anyone can use this tag however they please you don't have to send me asks to be a part of the sigverse

My Rainworld Oc tags:

#Sector7c - official oc local group tag!

#7c dystopian arbitrary

#7c golden life

#rw ocs

#ocs

-- still WIP --

[lavenderchqn]

𝐶𝛨𝛢𝑃𝑇𝛦𝑅 𝟎𝟏𝟖 — WITCH HUNT (1,1K WORDS) 𝑅𝐸𝐷 𝐿𝐼𝑁𝐸𝑆 — lyney x f!reader smau

𝑆𝑌𝑁𝑂𝑃𝑆𝐼𝑆 —

Second year of university should've been everything you thought of it - more studying with human interaction sprinkled throught... What it definitely wasn't supposed to be was an investigation saga where one of your friends goes missing out of nowhere

𝑃𝑅𝐸𝑉𝐼𝑂𝑈𝑆 — 𝑀𝐴𝑆𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐿𝐼𝑆𝑇 — 𝑁𝐸𝑋𝑇 𝐸𝑃𝐼𝑆𝑂𝐷𝐸

The sound of an incoming phone call instantly gets active people to join.

“Wrio! What do you mean Lyney is gone?” Furina’s panicked voice is the first thing the attendees hear. 

“A little more quiet please…” Charlotte comments, her voice muffled. “It’s after midnight and we don’t want to get kicked out.” 

“Oh! Sorry… my bad.” 

That’s right. It’s after midnight. 

“Made my usual rounds to check up on him.” Wriothesley starts, sharing his video camera footage. “Can any of you record?” 

“On it.” Charlotte answers, getting her recording software ready. They’re all aware of why they're making said choices — just in case there’s any evidence concerning Lyney’s disappearance. Just in case... he's the next one kidnapped.

The house the siblings used to reside in feels much different at this hour, especially without the company of their friends. It almost feels… empty. 

“I knew he shouldn’t have stayed alone! I knew it, I knew it!” Furina is muttering, her words slurring together. Her entire body is shaking, as she does whatever possible to not break into a crying fit. 

“Deep breaths, Furina.” Charlotte does her best to calm her down, trying to get the girl to follow her breathing.

“Well. Furina is right, ” [Y/N]’s comment meets with a loud exclaim to shush from both Wriothesley and Charlotte. “Staying in that house was basically asking to be kidnapped.”

Well, that... is an inadequate choice of words on her part. 

“Kidnapped?! We’ll be lucky if he hasn’t offed himself!” Furina shouts, her sudden crying state sending everyone present into shock. 

“Furina.” Wriothesley tries to somehow get her attention onto himself. “Furina, can you just listen to me?”

It’s no use. The girl is already spiralling further and further into panic, her words slurring together occasionally broken by her desperate sobs. Her words are degrading, stabbing knives of guilt. Maybe if they forced themselves to speak with him… it wouldn’t be like this. 

“Furina, he’s not dead!” The man’s voice is louder causing the other girls to flinch away from their devices — the sheer volume of his tone intimidating. “I promise you that fucking much.” 

Her crying is never-ending. No matter how much Wriothesley, Charlotte or [Y/N] try to snap her out of it… there’s no progress. Although, there is the distinctive sound of a door opening. Someone must've entered her room just now. 

“What’s going on?” They ask, getting closer. “Why are you crying?"

It’s Neuvillette. He must’ve woken up mere minutes ago based on his sleepy voice. He stays close to the girl, taking note of her gibberish-like explanations of whatever just happened. As well as her phone lying on the desk.  

“Are you on a call?” He asks, checking out who’s on the other end. 

“It’s Wrio… and the girls…” 

“Is that so? Good morning everyone, I hope you’re much better than my companion here.” And that’s how Neuvillette joins the late-night chat… Perhaps with an elbow jab from the said ‘companion’ of his. 

With Neuvillette slowly calming Furina down the investigation at the siblings’ house can proceed once more. 

“I’m calling his phone.” [Y/N] exclaims. “Is it there?” 

“Can’t hear anything.” The camera pans over Lyney’s room, trying to catch his lit-up phone. “Don’t see anything either… no hearable vibrations too.” 

“Well…” Neuvillette starts pondering. “Lyney always had quite an obnoxious ringtone. Not to mention, he never put his phone or silent.” 

“So that’s a no on a phone…” Charlotte comments, crossing something off. “Do we know of any places he could be at? Maybe he went for a walk or something.” 

“Closed at this hour.” 

“The arcade he frequents closes at midnight.” 

The group collectively sighs. All the ideas they have are going nowhere.

“If he’s thinking…” [Y/N] suddenly perks up. “He could be at Mary-Ann National Park.” 

“There?!” Charlotte asks, already looking the place up. “Why would he be at a national park of all places, huh?” 

“Remember that one time I took pictures for Lyney?” 

“Oh! Oh!” Out of nowhere, Furina reenters the conversation, albeit with a sore throat from all the crying she has done. “I remember that day!” 

"Lyney told me he goes there whenever there's a need to think about stuff." 

“How far is it?” 

“Around 40 minutes, give or take.” 

Wriothesley sighs, knowing he’s going to have to make a drive there. 

“Alright, I’m going to gather my things.” He states, heading for the door. “Have any of you managed to see anything out of place?” 

“I guess… there was less clothes?” 

“Yeah,” Charlotte adds. “Almost as if he just went on vacation or anything…” 

“Guess it’s the end of recording… Thanks for joining everybody.” He stops sharing his camera, Charlotte following his cue. 

“Surely you don’t plan on driving and speaking simultaneously?” Neuvillette asks, concerned for his safety. "We all can agree, we'd rather have you not end up in an accident." 

“I don’t. Gonna rejoin the conversation when I’m at the place.” 

With those words, Wriothesley leaves the call. 1:27 AM on the clock. 

The sound of a person joining gets everyone’s attention on their phones. They have been trying to do their own sort of research and craft theories regarding Lyney’s disappearance. 

“I’m here,” Wriothesley says, out of breath from all the trekking he just did. “It sure is fucking high up here.” 

“Anything of notice?” Neuvillette asks, getting a swift negative response.

“... To be fair… It is late at night.” 

“That’s right, be careful not to slip on anything!” 

Wriothesley chuckles, thanking the group for their concern. The same cannot be said about figuring out Lyney’s location. At the very least, he’s most certainly not here.

“There’s something lit up in the distance.” He comments, staring way back. “What even is that?”

Wriothesley sends a photo of his discovery to Neuvillette, who soon shares it with the rest of the group. 

“Housing, perhaps?” 

“Nobody would live there.” Furina rebuts. “The area near Mary-Ann’s has been declared unfit for home building for years.” 

“Wait, it has?” Charlotte asks. “Weird, I’ve never researched that.” 

“It’s been that way ever since the incident at the Research Institute,” [Y/N] comments, pondering. “It’s weird anything would be happening around there… Why would anybody buy that piece of land.” 

“Not the mystery for today,” Wriothesley gets everyone back on track. “Any ideas about Lyney’s current location left?

The group falls silent.

And yet… there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

“What if he’s with his family?” [Y/N] suggests, stating soon that it might sound quite obvious. 

“Holy fuck,” A gasp can be heard. “You just might be a genius!” 

“Wait, what?” Furina asks, confused. “I’ve never heard anything about Lyney’s family…”

“That’s because you’re always asleep to witness Lyney’s drunk and oversharing mess,” Wriothesley states. “Alright then, guess I know where we’re heading next.” 

𝑇𝐴𝐺𝐿𝐼𝑆𝑇 — OPEN

@state-of-grac3 @santaluna @meigalaxy @romyoia

@meurtreofcrows @charles-braindump @floweringanna @moonjellyfishie @vavrin @lovelypadisarah

date of posting — september 14th 2024

[fuji09]

I'm seriously sick of people using the jokes and sarcastic remarks about killing Jackson as a justification for Scott to believe Stiles would actually murder someone.

Scott knows Stiles, they are brothers, they know each other better than anyone else. Scott knows Stiles doesn't actually want to kill anyone. He knows Stiles doesn't mean it. He knows Stiles' defense mechanisms and he knows Stiles jokes and makes sarcastic remarks to lessen the tension.

He knows Stiles would be eaten away by guilt if he killed someone. He feels guilty about his mom's death! He knows Stiles isn't capable of murder.

Now the nogitsune being a reason, I can totally understand, because both those boys have PTSD from that. Scott being overwhelmed by everything? Eh, not really a good enough reason to believe his best friend would actually murder someone, in my opinion, but I can see how it can add to the nogitsune trauma.

Stiles lying a lot? Also not a good reason. Most of the lies Stiles tells is to protect Scott and keep the supernatural shit a secret and also to protect his dad from the supernatural shit as best as he can. Stiles is always lying for others, even at his own expense and at the expense of his relationship with his dad.

How Stiles treated Scott during the full moon while he was handcuffed to a radiator? Also a stupid reason for Scott to believe his best friend is a murderer! Scott was acting like a total dick, he made out with Lydia when he knows Stiles has been in love with her since the 3rd grade, and Scott was super aggressive. Yes, I know it's because of the full moon. I get that. But also Stiles wasn't torturing Scott. In fact, while sitting there he was taking all the shit Scott was saying to hurt Stiles.

Stiles made dog jokes and he tried to keep Scott contained so he didn't hurt anyone. But how Stiles treated Scott while beyond hurt and betrayed by his best friend? Yeah, no, not a justification in believing Stiles was capable of murder. Stiles had every right to be hurt and angry with Scott.

The biggest issue was they both were not communicating clearly. With Hayden dying inside the vet clinic, this was definitely not the time to have this "talk". But Scott chose to do it right then. Stiles didn't start it, Scott did. Scott literally blocked Stiles from going inside the clinic and Stiles is bewildered.

I'm not blaming this entire interaction on Scott, so don't come at me, both boys were at fault for the miscommunication.

Also Stiles didn't trust Theo to tell Scott the truth. Stiles knew no matter how Theo spun it, Scott would be upset about it. The only one who trusted Theo was Scott. And yeah, Theo saved some of them and helped them, but Scott should have known Theo was lying when he said Stiles kept hitting Donovan over and over again even once he stopped moving. I know Scott was a teen, I know he had a lot of his plate, I know he had trauma, but he also knows Stiles.

Stiles got defensive because he felt judged, he was hurt, his whole world was crashing down because what was happening was exactly what he knew would happen if Scott ever found out, his biggest fear of losing Scott seemed to be happening right before his eyes. Being rejected by his brother and having his guilt validated caused him to spiral.

They should have to waited to talk. Have Stiles explain everything then Scott would realize Theo lied. But drama and angst is necessary for this show apparently.

This isn't to start anything, I've just seen more and more posts about how Stiles was all in the wrong and Scott did nothing wrong and it's annoying. Is Stiles my favorite character? Yes, but I can acknowledge when he fucks up just like when any other character fucks up.

Both boys were bad friends to each other multiple times. But honestly Scott believeing Theo is so out of character for him. Scott knows his best friend, his brother, there is no good reason for Scott to see Stiles as a killer.

[operationslipperypuppet]

Ooh how about top 5 Emily moments for each PC (i.e. top moonshine moment, top fia moment, etc etc) because we know Emily is incredible and can do no wrong!

Real and true. I’ll do like 2 moments for each naddpod pc and then it’ll be like 10 moments lol. Full disclosure: this is long as hell.

Moonshine:

“You can be quick with kindness, too” and then grabbing Bev and jumping off into the Astral Sea. That whole thing, where she was trying to understand Thiala despite knowing she likely couldn’t be reasoned with. An absolute peak of Moonshine. Holy shit.

Not to be the guy who brings up “how long do half elves live” at every opportunity. But it needs to be said. Because it’s also Moonshine grappling with how her lifespan is going to work. Emily was never going to take 18 levels in druid, she didn’t want timeless body for Moonshine. But she got it. And then there’s this poignant moment where she’s grappling with everything that will mean to the only other person she knows has or will experience it. Moonshine doesn’t fear death. But she doesn’t want to live in a world without her family and friends. And that’s why it matters. Plus the hardshine of it all.

Fuck it, third one. The conversation with Deadeye. She saves him. She’s the catalyst that stops him from continuing a spiral he’d been part of for possibly 100 years. And he stopped her from going down a similar path, which was Brennan’s plan when he made the character. The Cybin siblings are something that can be so personal.

Fia:

“Maybe I don’t want to be her sister, okay!” Fia was closed off to the other third mates in a lot of ways. She was never hiding anything deliberately, she just kept a lot of feelings close to her chest. She hadn’t had friends in years. Blurting this out to Hank and Zirk was her last wall crumbling and a moment of true trust. Plus like the beauty of girlhood friends falling in love wlw wish fulfillment.

“You were my fucking dream for so fucking long. But these people are my reality. And it is by your actions that one of them has died, and you tried to kill more of them. And I will miss you so much. But I, I cannot support this. Mr. Henry. Kill Her.” Truly an Emily moment of all time. The beauty. The cold hearted commitment. The sobs from both her AND Caldwell.

Tarragon:

Only gonna do one here because she’s in so few episodes. The atonement to help redeem Moxora at the end of Cerenysus. “She may have rotted but she’ll make good soil”. Devastating.

Billie:

Also gonna do one here because of the shortness of her time. Her insane antics in the Grimdung/Beeto cave fight. Trying to convince Grimmy that she was worth more than his allegiance to the cause. Being completely wrong about his thought process. And the interactions with Hank and Zirk during that fight. Too fun.

Onyx:

Pretending to be Porker Harris for the entire Merry Metal Mayhem two shot. Insane choice. She was dressed as him dead I think actually. And tried to convince Sonic that she was him. The triplets are too good.

Befriending KT. Getting her plane seat upgraded while sitting in the bad seats. Asking for her opinion on everything. So dumb. So incredible.

Callie:

Fucking. Crown of Dreams. Right at the end. She finally isn’t confused or a nannerfly. And she takes a turn to Lay on Hands Sol (who was 2 death save failures in the hole and it really felt like Caldwell’s skin of his teeth luck had finally run out) and then casts compelled duel on Ultrus to save Glen. Gets me every time. God what an episode.

Little strange, but when they’re fighting the Bronzebeards and that guy who was controlling people with the worms in the woods on the way to Irondeep. She like climbs up something, Fey Steps, attacks or casts a spell, then asks Hardwon to catch her. And Hardwon “nods like he’s seen this kind of bullshit before”. Just a very fun moment.

So sorry for going off like that. Hope people enjoy reading this insane list lmao

[desswright29]

Ghetto Story Summary

Y’all it’s this story I want to find and I’m not sure if it’s on here or A03 (I’m leaning towards A03). It was a series and it was never finished. But y’all about to get one hell of a summary.

Shuri and reader are in an arranged marriage. Shuri actually liked reader but ol girl wasn’t tryna hear it. But she wasn’t blind or nothing every once in awhile she would be like yea she is looking kinda right ya know. Anyway Shuri’s given it her all. And one day they have to go to this meet up at the White House with the president and his wife. The wife is instantly giving y/n bad vibes. But she’s chillin. But she keeps throwing lil jabs at Shuri. Shuri ain’t catching it but y/n wasn’t having it. So the 1st lady goes to the bathroom and y/n follows her in there and they have a slight lil altercation cause we went in there like “bitch you gone respect my wife!” And then they walk out like nothing happened and we curl up under Shuri and give that hoe a nasty mug. So we have to leave cause Shuri has another event to speak at at a school. And it was real cute or whatever y/n sees her in a different light and all that.

So reader and her family used to come to DC often and she had this reaturaunt that was her favorite she mentioned it a looong time ago. Shuri remembered and surprised her now readers warming up because she didn’t think Shuri was paying attention that much. So they leave and now y/n want some damn ice cream right. Okoye like “Aight now we already made to many got damn detours we need to get outta dodge.” And Shuri’s like “Maaaan Shut up! My baby want some muh fuckin Ice cream she gone get some muh fuckin ice cream.” So they go get the muh fuckin Ice cream. So Shuri is standing with Okoye and I think Ayo (don’t quote me) keeping watch out while you get Ice cream. Whole time ol dude at the ice cream stand is the Opp. Upped the tooly on her shot her 3 times. FAH FAH FAH!!!! 1st lady put a hit out on us! Now Shuri scrambling and Okoye nem go to catch ol boy. Shuri gets y/n stabilized with a bead. And get her back to Wakanda because she doesn’t trust the American hospitals.

You’re in a coma for awhile. Shuri’s pissed and spiraling. Now They’re keeping it very private that you’ve been shot. But some how Washington puts out a statement. Sending their condolences. 😬 Big mistake Shuri’s catching on. So Shuri calls Okoye who has the dude that shot y/n (they’re still in America because they can get in trouble for taking him across the boarder). Shuri’s like “is he talking?” Okoye like “Nah”. Shuri said “Fuck that shit bring that nigga to me IMMEDIATELY.” They tried to talk her out of it. She wasn’t hearing it. You wake up out of your coma.

Y’all have a beautiful moment. She’s in the hospital bed with you chilling when Okoye comes in like. I got your package. And Shuri like “Bet” you notice the interaction and you’re like “Shuri don’t do no dumb shit” she like “nah not me.” She leaves. You don’t believe her. They leave Aneka with you. You like take me to where she is. Aneka like “I can’t do that!” You like “Yes you can!” She like “aight” So she gets you in a wheelchair and takes you to the basement of the palace you didn’t even know was there. She gets you behind the double sided glass and Shuri is in there BEATING THIS MAN INTO A PULP!! 🫦 Fucking that man UP I tell you! And that’s where it ended.

Anyway. Anybody else read that story and know the name of it? That was one of the most gangster sexiest non smut versions of Shuri I’ve ever read in my life. 😩

[ynverse]

it’s a match - shush

CHILDE x gn! reader

“uhm,” you mumbled, turning towards childe, “hi?”

childe only looked at you and put a finger over his lips, a dorky smile on his face. you could only watch as a grown man, who willingly chose to sit next to you, shushed you. you weren’t sure if you felt more embarrassed or annoyed but you immediately tried to make yourself smaller.

“the 2pm appointment?”

the voice of an old man stopped your mind from spiraling over your first interaction with childe. your “partner” nodded his head and outstretched a hand towards you, frowning slightly as you stood up. he must have been insane to think you would reach for his hand after he told shushed you. you were already starting to regret your deal with venti.

“right this way,” the man motioned into his office, though you caught his eyes looking at childe’s hand.

he was already started to analyze you guys…how fun.

you and childe followed him, sitting yourselves down on a couch that sat across a single chair. still reeling in your embarrassment, you sat at the far right corner while childe sat at the far left corner. the atmosphere was almost suffocating as you desperately tried to find anything to look at.

“thank you for seeing us,” childe spoke joyfully.

“no need to thank me,” the therapist sat down and got out some sheets of paper and a pen, “i’m glad you two are here to better your relationship!”

you thought introductions and initial questions would be the most awkward but the therapist seemed to want to prove you wrong.

“i just feel like there are always walls between us. it’s as if we don’t really know each other.”

“childe, please refrain from generalizations and use i statements to talk about your feelings.”

“i’m sorry. i personally feel like we aren’t as close as before. sometimes, i feel like we are just strangers.”

it took everything for you to not laugh or cringe as he spoke.

“and y/n? how do you feel?”

“i don’t know?”

the whole idea was funnier in your head but having to try and gaslight a therapist was way more intimidating in action. you also wanted to hold on to the tiniest bit of pride you had left and it was slowly slipping as childe spoke. you did not want to be the problem in the relationship, fake or not.

“i guess i feel like childe doesn’t know me that well? so it’s hard for me to be open around him. i don’t doubt his feelings but i guess i think it’s…misdirected? like he is in love with the idea of me instead of who i am.”

you both thanked the therapist and went to the parking lot. both of you said nothing as you made your way out, only nodding your head as a thanks when one of you held the door open for each other.

“so…how was it?”

“childe…what?”

“did you think it was fun? like do you want to keep doing this?”

he seemed a lot more shy than before, trying to use hand gestures to get his point across. for the first time today, you let out a laugh. maybe it was the weirdness of the situation finally getting to you, but seeing childe ask if you want to continue therapy was the funniest thing you heard all day.

“is that a yes?”

“sure.”

“okay good,” he laughs as he grabs his car keys, “i can walk you to your car, if that’s okay?”

“oh, i didn’t drive here. i had my friend drop me off.”

“do you want me to take you home?”

childe noticed the way you stiffened a little, realizing how sudden it must have felt for you. he quickly waved his hands in front of him while speaking quickly.

“wait. i swear i’m not like a predator or anything i just feel bad cause i mean i am fake dating you and like what kind of fake boyfriend would i be…but you don’t have to agree because i know-“

“thank you. i’d love a ride.”

prev | masterlist | next

fun facts

the therapist’s first impression is that you guys aren’t dating for love but just to not feel alone (rude)

venti was in the living room with xiao and he laughed so hard when he read that childe shushed you. he started wheezing and xiao had to get him some water

you are definitely thinking about how he shushed you on the ride home

a/n: I KEPT CRINGING WHILE WRITING… like guys the second hand embarrassment i keep getting… like imagine having to look a therapist in the eye and lie like this

taglist [open]: @gekkow @aemiko @kamikoii @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @tsunotaro-san @dazaisboner @elektranxtchiios @hh0pe @softlie @akxtagawaxryxn0sxke @saeransblush @duckyyyx @iv-vee @brfrtbrt @ilyuu @eternal-dokja @boywxonder @sainthoma @ahnneyong @hollythius-rising @fallencrescentmoon @elernity

[ranbling]

Thinking about Chase and his family issues and honestly, while most of the fandom and fanfics I’ve seen tend to focus on his dad being the more abusive or at the very least leaving more scars, I feel like his mother was probably worse. I’m not saying Rowan was a shitty dad- or that a parent not being present doesn’t leave you with problems, but I don’t think he was as bad as people make him out to be, and I do think his mom probably caused more issues than his dad. Whatever type of alcoholic she was, violent, very emotional, always black out drunk, it undoubtedly would’ve hurt a lot to have to take care of a parent like that. Oh yea and the parentification aspect would’ve been stressful for a teenager as well.  If Chase does feel more anger towards his dad tho I feel like it could come from a feeling that he caused all of that to happen , that if he hadn’t have left, it wouldn’t have spiralled into all of the things that came after and eventually lead to his mom dying, or the feeling that his mom was actually a victim in this situation. Having been in a similar  situation I don’t know if it just gives me more insight into family dynamics like this or if it makes it seems like I’m projecting. The people will choose. Seeing your parent slowly destroy themselves is always ugly, and it makes you feel guilty, angry and stressed. They’ll hurt you, forget it and say you’ve lied, then remember and cry for forgiveness. But the apology never really works, because either it’ll never feel honest, or it’ll leave you just feeling guilty for being a bad kid or not saving them. 

 I’m still relatively early in the show tho, so I’m wondering what are your thoughts.

I think lot of fics are focusing more on Rowan 'cause he is there (which is ironic given that he wasn't there in Chase's childhood), and he is someone we actually saw and interacted with, while his mom is kinda like this mystical figure and its easier to put the blame on him (and Chase is holding more anger and resentment towards him - or at least expresses - so it's easier to make him out to be a monster)

I'm not sure we even know the name of Chase's mother by the end of the series. She's clearly there, kinda haunting the narrative for Chase, but we don't really know anything about her except that she was an alcoholic. There is one bit in later on the show (i'm not gonna spoil it) that like makes the whole situation worse, but otherwise there is like 3-4 things we know about the mother, there is no substance to make her into any kind of a character. There are many fics that also focus on the Chase and his relationship with his mom, but most fanfics take place during the show and its easier to just put all the blame onto the father.

[nyaboshi]

Please yap about Achlys, I want to know everything

OIB;OWJ BITING YOU /affec I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT MY BABY BOY

Everything is below the cut, because this is about to get long. Teehee~

I saw this ask when you originally sent it, anon, but the reason it's taken me so long to respond is because I was rushing to get this done:

A brand new, shiny reference for my boy! Wings colored and everything, finally!! I wanted to reveal this while simultaneously answering your ask, causeee I have a lot to say about this goober.

First off, I'll start with backstory. Achlys was a character I created for a roleplay with a friend of mine, and he hasssss... spiraled. I love him so much, he's my precious little bean.

He was created in a lab by a scientist named Xander, who was obsessed with creating human hybrids and monstrosities in attempts to create the perfect soldiers. All of his attempts in the past had proven to be too unstable and unfit for actual battle. At some point, Xander came to the conclusion that it was because he was adding DNA to human beings who had already existed. His new priority became to gather the DNA of an individual and use it to make a clone that he would then mix with the DNA. Achlys was the first product of this experimental process (at least the first to not die immediately after being "born"). Xander started with something as simple as the DNA of a butterfly, just to see what it would be like if such an experiment succeeded. What Xander did not expect was to become emotionally attached to the kid. He raised him for a few years, and he eventually because like a father to him. After an altercation with his nefarious works that nearly cost him Achlys' life, he gave up his dangerous and illegal practices, faked his death so the authorities wouldn't be after him, and started a new life with his child.

Achlys grew up within a morally gray household. Although Xander taught him morals to prevent him from getting on the bad side of the law – both because he didn't want Achlys to grow up to be like him (huzzah, character development!) and because trouble with the law meant Achlys being discovered and likely hauled away/killed – that didn't stop Achlys from becoming a bit of a troublemaker. He's loud-mouthed, manipulative at times, and generally kinda self-centered. Achlys definitely isn't afraid to tell minor fibs to get what he wants, and he can and will pull out the good ol' puppy dog eyes on his poor old papá to get him to cave. Xander is somewhat immune to it by the time Achlys hits his mid teenage years. But not completely. Despite his iffy morals though, he's generally a good kid. All of his stuff adds up to petty actions only. If he ever actually got pushed to do anything truly evil, he'd just kinda stand there and likely have a panic attack. Ironically enough, Achlys is easily manipulated. All it takes is flattery and the promise of something sweet and he'll be eating out of the palm of your hand. That's only for first time interactions, though. If you take that opportunity and use it to wrong him, hoof... Once Achlys trust is broken, it is ridiculously hard to earn it back. ANOTHER IMPORTANT DETAIL!!! He is such a dummy. Like. My gosh, somebody help this child... He can't do basic math for the life of him, and not from lack of Xander trying to teach him. Achlys just refuses to pay attention to anything that doesn't interest him unless it's what he deems as super important. And... schooling was not one of those things. He did enough to get by and then it went right out his other ear. Bro can count, but like– If you asked him what 12 x 9 was he'd just sit there and stare at you blankly. The only subject in school he took an interest to was science – it made him feel connected with Xander, cause that's his father's passion. Does he understand a lick of what's being said to him? Not really, no. But does he actually try to listen and learn for once so he can assist him in the "completely safe" experiments he conducts? Of course! On that note, Achlys thinks the world of Xander. His father's opinion is really the only one he cares about. Achlys can get berated by a horde of angry Karens and not give two shakes of a rat's tail; however, the moment Xander does so much as raises his voice at him, he shrinks and turns into a puddle of tears. Never in front of Xander. He holds his ground until he's alone in his room. Then he curls up underneath his covers (or under the bed, depends on how badly he was lectured) and wallows. There's no greater achievement to Achlys than receiving Xander's praise and approval. Which he does receive often, because Xander adores his little sharp-toothed shark child.

ANYWHOZZLE This got real long. XD

I have much more to say in terms of character arcs I have planned out in my noggin for him as well as anatomy headcanons and thoughts I chew on like fruit gummies. But I will leave it at that for now

Once again, thank you so much for the ask, anon! I hope you continue to love him as much as I do (if such a feat is possible, I'm tear him to shreds regularly like a dog /affec)