#but a whole group of people? wow
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I'm actually crying a bit rn because some if my uni friends just asked in our WhatsApp group if someone was going to CSD on Saturday. And I was super nervous because I haven't seen these guys in a bit (they are all writing their theses), but I always felt extremely comfortable with them (three of them are bi and we talked a lot and I actually considered for a few months last year if I am maybe bisexual too, because, yesss women are pretty.) Anyway. I said that I had already thought about going because I was curious, but that I also felt nervous because I've never been there before and I've only relatively recently discovered that asexuality exists and even more recently that I actually am, and that I was feeling a bit uncool.
And they immediately said "That's not uncool" and I hurried to say "Yes, of course being asexual isn't uncool, that's not what I meant", and then they said "No, you aren't uncool", and someone sent a picture of frogs in ace colours because they know I like frogs, and now they say I should just join them and I can leave if I get overwhelmed with the people and the noise (and now I'm crying again although I started typing this 30 mins ago).
Well, it looks like I'm going to my first Pride Event on Saturday. :)
#for the record I AM relatively uncool#I spend between 5 - 10 h a day at the library at least 6 days iof the week because i have no life and i take my studies RIDICULOUSLY sirious#I'm a terrible perfectionist and if that isn't uncool i don't know#but somehow they like me and they want me spend time with them :')#when that friend group formed last year i was so ELATED#i have friends but it's usual 1 to 1 relationships#I'm not usually a part of the group with the cool people#but i even celebrated my birthday with them and they think I'm funny and sometimes I'm just so confused because#of course my mum thinks I'm funny and the three nerdy friends i handpicked#but a whole group of people? wow#also they talk about sex a lot and whenever it came up and they asked me about my opinion I was like#Uhm honestly I don't know I've only been in one relationship so I guess I didn't have time to experiment or something#so I knew they are really liberal that way but paradoxically at the same time that made me even more nervous because#they are so interested in sex and i am not OH NO what if they think I'm boring#well there are many reasons to think me boring but they study with me so i guess they know about all these other reasons too#(i was the only one in the group who really enjoyed historical lectures)#okay ngl I'm still nervous#i rarely go to fairgrounds or demonstrations because of the noise and the people and this feels even more personal#but i think I will be alright :))#huh#personal thoughts#asexuality
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so sick and tired of the “jedi are an evil and abusive cult that steals children” as if half the reason they weren’t protecting these children is bc sith were out killing them or TURNING THEM INTO SITH. they weren’t even STEALING children to begin with I thought we all knew that was Palpatine’s game not Yoda’s.
#i hate star wars fans i truly do#they wanna pick apart the jedi like of course there are mistakes and wrong doings#bUT THE SITH ARE RIGHT THERE#trying to build the narrative that anakin was abused by the jedi is absolutely crazy when his actions and thoughts were all his own#and GROOMED by palpatine#the only reason people want to pin them as bad people is because yoda could call out anakin’s bad behavior#that and they didnt promote him to master right away because oh im the chosen one i should be#like you need to PROVE you are the chosen one and that you WILL bring balance to the force and NOT DESTROY IT#THATS FHE WHOLE PROPHECY#AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY THEY WERE CAREFUL WITH ANAKIN???#and then the oh well they make you supress feelings#nO#THEY#DONT#they make you surpress attachments so that if it comes DOWN to it you will save the many and not just risk it all to save the ONE#disney has done damage to the star wars community i swear#saw a tik tok comment section where they said the council is like the christian church#lost my MIND#well the jedi fit cult criteria!!#wow! star wars fans find out WHAT A GROUP OF RELIGION IS#LITERALLY ANY GROUP OF RELIGION CAN BE CALLED A CULT NOT EVERY CULT IS BAD#im sorry i cant stand it anymore#star wars#star wars tcw#auxxrat yap#jedi council#jedi#star wars legends
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Without FAIL every single person I've seen throw a fit over people "being mean" to fictional characters is extremely awful towards the real people they perceive as being insufficiently respectful towards the pretend people
#this obviously doesn't include racism/homophobia/transphobia/other bigotry#since if you'll be hateful to a fictional character you're still being hateful towards that real group#but yeah people will be like jsyk if you criticize anything blorbo bleebus does you're a monster and I hope you die :)#with NO self awareness#it's tbh not dissimilar to the whole goblin thing a few years ago#ie wow you'll defend goblins against antisemitic stereotypes. now try doing that with real jewish people! wait where are you going#it's easy to defend a fictional character who will never disagree with you and can't speak for themselves#and who can't disapprove of you making death threats in their name#queue
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if there is a 'Group', i am always on the outside looking in, it's been the one constant in my life - i have been aware of it since i was young. i have never known how to 'join' Groups. no matter how much i try to fix whatever is wrong with me or change myself its never enough. when you want to belong but you cant figure out how to belong, its the worst
#jrnlsht#and the worst feeling in the world is when one person in The Group decides they dont like you all of sudden#and you get cut off from everyone else in The Group#this happened to me like clockwork every six months in pittsburgh#I would find a new friend group and think wow this is it i belong these people are great#then one guy or two guys would decide i was going to be their girlfriend and give me an ultimatum#date the guy or you cant be friends anymore#and because the guy was in the friend group before i was that meant if i said no to dating i was permanently out of The Group#so i said no and had to work to find a whole new friend group#this is why by the time i left pittsburgh my friends were almost exclusively women i just stopped trusting befriending men#anyway what is happening now feels like the exact same thing only this time bizarrely its work/career instead of friendship/dating
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very much this... cr.
#i saw this hours ago but i came across this tweet again#and it made me think about how i learned how to not put people i stan on insane pedestals#bc when they made bad decisions or something very ignorant#i would get insanely disappointed and sad abt it for a very long time#not that i don't think even if you have a healthy view abt people you stan#you can't be disappointed but#i feel like when you do this actively and you think your faves can't do no wrong#and then they do it's very different#what i've observed for the past few months is that#some people might not even realize they are doing this#and i feel like on twt it's so bad#especially with the whole 'you have to stream or you are bad fan' time of mentality#that it ended up creating this environment of having to do#everything for these idols no matter what#some people are so against boycotts bc of this#and have a very unhealthy relationship with stanning culture#and i say this from a very personal experience but#my view on stanning groups change drastically the moment i started to be on tumblr full time#and i remember the exact moment where i thought wow i've been#doing it wrong this whole time and that's why i was so miserable#i will not go into details bc this is getting long#but i do intent to do an extended essay (sorta kinda) about this soon#bc i feel like it's something that we need to sincerely discuss#and how awful it is to perpetuate these behaviors#tris.txt
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We should normalize bringing these sort of "small talk ideas" cards to meetings with other people so that it's possible to avoid the awkwardness of not knowing what to talk about to kick things off or if it's considered normal to talk about this specific thing and AUGHGHFCG all this stuff.
#i don't know what these cards are actually called. but what i mean by this is that well. ok let me tell you the whole story#which is that in my attempts to become more normal and functional i started attending these 'social skills exercise' group meetings#and at our first meeting instead of subjecting us to the awkwardness of introducing ourselves one by one#the group moderator prepared these cards with questions that we would take and answer in turns#and then invite all the others to contribute a bit as well. and that part was also not as scary as i feared it would be#some of the questions were kind of not very good interesting questions but still it didn't matter that much#because i am once again being proven that as long as the conversation is about something specific#it's really not that much of a problem for me to contribute like how when i had these zoom meetings with people#that discussed my interships back in my two final semesters of uni of course at first i was super stressed. BUT once the meeting started#and it came to the actual talking? it was no problem at all suddenly like wow sometimes i actually can talk to people#but yeah the 'what do i talk about' is the problem. and another realization i had here is that i'n in fact naturally predisposed to rambling#because i rambled a lot during this meeting i feel like and i think i'm already starting to vibe with one girl from my group in particular#yet my biggest problem most of the time is not saying anything at all in most situations. because of. the masking#it's literally such a big thing to overcome i've been having such huge realizations about this. but yeah anyway#i already had the opportunity to mention sparks lol. bcs one question was to tell the others about a movie#that left a huge impact on you and well why would i lie about this and not talk about TSB and my tendency to become obsessed with old bands#another observation is that when you put 4 socially awkward people in one room the result will be that it will feel very akward#to no suprise of course. but also there is something relieving about not being THE ONLY awkward one in a group you know#but well yeah all in all. man the mysteries of human communication. maybe i'll get it all one day#goosepost
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lmao I cast spell of christians mind their own fucking business and stop proselytizing and recognize that a video game isn't real life you fucking floppy bananas
#my whole life I've dealt with these people#leave me alone!!!!!#you're only doing the cult's strategy of othering yourself when you bother people like that and get rejected#which means you retreat back to your in group and go wow everyone outside of my group MUST be as bad as they say#it's literally a strategy to keep you in their group#they are making you be weird to others on purpose so people don't like you#so that your stay and listen to the church#anyway whatever leave me tf alone#a hex upon ye and all that
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self-isolation during times of stress is pretty bad actually shame it took me 2 years of uni to realise this
#not to be cringe but i ended up joining the people on my course today when our lecturer didn't show and one girl was getting on with work#so sat at the same table but not talking to the rest of us#we were having a whole rant session about third year optional modules and i said something that made the others laugh & she was smiling#to herself @ it#u are trying to be serious studying over in the corner but i got u sjhbjkhbsd#they're such nice people and i wish i'd been proactive in becoming friends at the start#because my lecture skipping meant i never gave myself the chance to do so and they all moved on ahead of me#i can talk to them any time and they're always so lovely but i'm not in the core group#and i've done that to myself#:(( hopefully next year .... she says again#i see them often in lectures but not outside of that much and it's my own fault that now i'm at a point where it's weird to request to join#outside of lectures i mean#but today i asked and it was fine <3 small steps#for someone so prone to removing myself entirely from everyone around me#:/ my default is to assume that nobody wants me there and i can rarely gather the strength to be there anyway#deep deep issue that one!! because it extends to my parents#need to shut up and get one with work wow
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i’ve been sort of unintentionally sitting on most of my only friends opinions but really they largely just amount to ‘thank you, she was perfect, if you get it you get it, if you don’t you don’t.’
#one day i’ll get bored and just write an entire thesis called ‘in ardent defence of only friends’ and it will be my magnum opus#and/or just me rambling about the immense attention to detail and deliberateness in all the decisions and the way the show set everything#up piece by piece like an interesting and fun little puzzle#that it’s not supposed to be a manifesto it’s just supposed to be a 12 episode snapshot into four insane months in this group of young#people’s lives. and that viewing the characters and relationships as early 20-somethings through the eyes of a slightly older and more#experienced lens (like once you’re out of your 20s and removed enough away from that time) feels like a big part of#why i found the experience as a whole so gratifying#it’s like looking back at your youth and saying wow we really lived like this#idk it’s not gonna hit the same for everyone and that’s ok but#to me it was by far the most interesting use of a university setting in a bl imo imo imo#show: only friends#only friends the series
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I’m on Twitter to see anime titties and vtuber tweets why the fuck does it keep pushing alt-right tweets, hate speech, and videos of graphic violence at me?
#No amount of ‘show me less of this’ has made them show me less of any of this by the way#fucking abysmal website#on twitter even if I block one shithead it doesn’t matter because there are always immediately more of them directly down the dash#and on tumblr I can be like ‘well that’s just one maladjusted individual at least they don’t have any power over me’#but on twitter it’s like. These are very real people with like. Their faces and names sometimes in the profile.#the worst#I am so sick of seeing these people spread lies about other groups who they know nothing and care nothing about#I saw a whole thread of people being like ‘Wow they’ll call anyone a nazi these days just for believing things nazis believe’#‘they call anyone a nazi just for saying several dogwhistles in this very tweet’#and they seem so smugly superior for it#It’s killing me#which I’m sure is what they want. 😕
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the desperate urge to compliment someone online I think is super gorgeous and absolute Butch Goals Vs the utter terror of coming across creepy or making them feel surveilled or voyeured about: FIGHT
#red said#this is why I'm so bad at flirting. bc before i initiate contact with ANYONE I have to go through a 6 month panic period#where i run through scripts in my head and worry about coming off as weird or creepy or parasocial#and the longer that goes on the more sure i am that if i speak to them they will immediately know that bc of this anxiety#i have spent thinking about them. not bc I'm obsessed with them but bc i am concerned about how weird it might make them feel#and then I'm also like WOW NARCISSISTIC OF YOU TO THINK THEY'LL EVEN NOTICE YOUR COMMENT#LET ALONE CARE#god you are truly the WORST what an AWFUL way to think why can't you just be NORMAL#and the whole time the 'creepy' thing i wanted to say in the first place was like#'you're really cool' or 'i love your jacket' or 'i hope you're ok'#it isn't just attraction stuff either. i have invited a friend from work out for a drink ONCE in my life.#and it took a year AND only happened bc she was upset after a conflict at work so i could tell she needed to vent#like I'm SO BAD at this bc large or small any kind of initiating contact is like#wow ok so YOU THINK. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THEIR TIME. YOU'RE GOING TO PUT THEM ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT.#and it's so ANNOYING cause it's like. my dude. nobody thinks that about you. you have friends. most people like compliments.#and anyway when i do give compliments it's always in the most casual way possible bc of these anxieties#i don't ever want anyone to feel like. trapped by my regard.#but it's so dumb it's literally the tiniest smallest things#it's why I've always been bad at making friends online. i just silently follow people's blogs and like things.#i have also been known to do the IRL version of that. hovering near the edge of people's groups trying to like. mentally project regard.#which GUESS WHAT!!! comes off way creepier than just saying hey man you look amazing i love your whole vibe#AAAAAAAAAA#(davide this is also why i followed your blog so hard for like 500 years but got very afraid of ever acknowledging you might know who i am)
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how it feels to post a sad music link and get over 2 likes
#+2 likes and we’re basically a group therapy session like cmon now#anyways. sorry i’ve been gone the whole fucking day basically#i nearly came so close to live-blogging my entire random emotional break and i was like. wow. i kinda gotta get it together#idk why i’m saying sorry like people rely on my blog content to live but yknow#i still have not fully gotten it together obviously i can’t do that in one afternoon but watching youtube. was fun.#ANYWAY. who cares. I HAVE SPOTIFY LINKS that’s what matters#srsly though i might take a longer break soonish with my parents pushing college stuff at me all at once + having to start classes soon +#making sure i don’t actually have a huge visible breakdown so yeah ig we’ll see. but i also like having fun here. i’m talking to the void hi#again idk why i’m. announcing that like people rely on my dumb posts to live their lives. idfk#did this accidentally turn into a vent post shit now i actually gotta post good music links#my text#🩻 <- i like this emoji
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Yo what the fuuuuck happened to my friends?
Obvi if you can see this it's not you, you're still lovely <3 this is about old work and college friends
#just have had like peoples personality flip a whole ass 180 lately. like my genuinely good dude friend now is hella far right#another friend just straight up being an asshole to me about shit i have no control over#like bud the shit you got going on i had nothing to do with and i sympathize but youre at a 10 and you need to bring it to a 3.#and im just like? idk i miss my high school group in a way cause i know theyre all still good people#now im over here dodging drama bullshit left and right like its a job and man i do not want a part of it.#like im sorry a friend of yours is now competing in your same space and stealing your ideas that sucks.#but i didnt do that and im not even in that space.#im also sorry that i asked your opinion on my shit and it doesnt vibe with your business model#but you didnt need to shit on it because YOU cant see YOURSELF making money on it#because its NOT FOR YOU! its mine dude.#and the right wing friend oh my god i dont even know how they got so fucking lost in the sauce and im feeling insane about it#just wow. yikes. i gotta meet new people and reconnect with older friends.
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A guy will be like 'I'm going to take a 2 hour long train ride so I can come see you" and ill still be wondering if I somehow forced him into it over text and if he really wants to see me
EDIT: AS I WAS WRITING THIS HE ASKED IF I NEED SOMEWHERE TO STAY AND OFFERED HIS HOUSE WHAT THE FUCK
#like if i did that it would be normal i do that for everyone#but when he does it im like oh no did i force it on him#post edit tags#so maybe he does want to see me#then again our whole friend group is like this#if i showed up in tajikistan tomorrow i know id be given a bed and some goat cheese#oh wow#people like me#people want to meet me#what the fuck#might be the strangest thing about my life right now lol#okay so my doubts were literally extinguished as i posted this i need to show sad jay this later#for rainy days
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"Great Death" are you for real. Ive been fucking calling him "Lord Death" since before I even knew he was a real person let alone a spirit this damn life
"In some texts, Mahākāla is described as a fearsome god, a "demon who steals the vital essence (of people)" and who feeds on flesh and blood, though he is also said to only devour those who committed sins against the Three Jewels of Buddhism."
"In China, the god was also associated with fertility and sexuality"
bruh why the fuck do i doubt lev is who he says he is
Like i fucking clicked on the "大黒天" name(s) (chinese and japanese) because i was like "fucking sky character spotted!!!!!!" and now im just like. bruh
#oh my god and in japan theres a tale about him approaching a monastic community to become its guardian are you fucking serious#thats like. a whole story in and of itself about how he used to be wrathful as fuck but then got involved in various places w asceticism#but like idk getting into his personal life here lmfao but#every fuckin time the topic of him in the perception of others comes up hes always so like "i dont hide. why would i. i dont need to#wear masks im big enough that no one fucks with my territory and with me if i show up as myself so like. people know me as me''#and im like ''yeah that makes sense''. but i never. like. fully get it. bc every fucking time i read about various names of his hes given#our group its. consistently. just literally him straight fucking up. thats just him. his fucking aspects and symbolism map on#ugh man and i know Mahakala is an important name to him and everything lmfao GOD#~abyssal murmurs#sometimes i border on being like ''wow no wait actually hold on. youre near and dear family to me but you are h u g e you are fucking#really significant on the chess board of this planet'' but then i remember my job is to hold him like a lil plum in my eye and s e e#a l l o f h i m#the cosmic horror ''you cant truly perceive the old gods youll go mad'' is a skill issue lmfao (a joking way to say i have trained for#thousands of years on how to hold divinity and paradox and unreality and madness in my eyes and i will hold him)
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no doubt !
loser!enhypen's reaction to your confession + their down bad behaviour
genre: completely fluff, slight crack
warnings: self doubt, very little stuttering
note: live, laugh, love hot loser men
word count: 2.3k
i love reading your comments and reblogs, so please do so if you liked reading this<3
HEESEUNG
heeseung was the guy who always sat in the back of the library, oversized hoodie pulled up and earbuds blasting lo-fi playlists. not because he was trying to look cool and aloof—he just didn’t know how to talk to people. heeseung’s whole vibe screamed ‘leave me alone’, and yet, you were drawn to him. maybe it was the way his big glasses always slid down his nose or how he’d stammer when the librarian asked if he needed help. there was a sweetness to his awkwardness, a genuine quality that made him stand out(not to mention how devastatingly handsome he was).
you started leaving him little sticky notes on the library desk when he wasn’t looking, simple messages like “nice doodles!” or “your handwriting is cute<3” the day he caught you in the act, his face turned the color of a ripe tomato.
“you think my handwriting’s c-cute?” he stuttered, practically vibrating with nervous energy.
a bit nervous, you laughed and nodded. “yeah, i do. and i think you’re cute too.”
heeseung froze, his pen dropping to the table. “wait, you… you think i’m cute?” he sounded so disbelieving it was almost funny.
when you confessed that you liked him, he spent two weeks in disbelief, constantly asking if you were joking. but after you assured him that no, you weren’t pulling some cruel prank, he became utterly devoted. he’d text you good morning every day, walk you to your classes while carrying your books (even when you insisted you could manage), and write you poetry—the kind of cringe, over-the-top poetry that made your heart melt anyway.
heeseung was the kind of boyfriend who’d get embarrassingly jealous but try to hide it. if someone so much as glanced at you for too long, he’d fidget nervously and mumble something about how they were probably just admiring how amazing you were. and if you hugged him in public? forget it. he’d be grinning like an idiot for the rest of the day.
when he wasn’t nervously doting on you, he was daydreaming about your future together. he’d scribble little sketches of the two of you in his notebook, complete with hearts and statements like “me + you = forever.” if you teased him about it, he’d turn beet red and try to deny it, but you could see the tiny smile playing on his lips.
rest is under the cut!
JAY
jay was the guy in your science class who thought he could blend in by keeping his head down. what he didn’t realize was that his nervous habits were endearing: the way he’d mumble answers to himself during group work or adjust his glasses every 30 seconds. he was always sketching random diagrams in his notebook—half for class, half because he was too awkward to make conversation.
you had a crush on him because, despite his shyness, there was something magnetic about the way he focused—his brows furrowing as he sketched diagrams in his notebook, the faintest pout forming on his lips when he was deep in concentration. one time, you caught him organizing the classroom supplies, his long fingers deftly sorting through tape dispensers and markers while muttering something about order.
when you mentioned you liked him, jay blinked at you like he couldn’t comprehend the words. “me? like me, me?” he asked, pointing to himself.
you nodded, trying not to giggle at how wide his eyes had gotten. “yes, you. i think you’re really sweet.”
jay’s face turned a deep shade of red, and he immediately started rambling. “i mean, i… uh, wow, okay, i didn’t expect this. are you sure? like, really sure? because i’m kind of a mess, and—”
once it clicked, though, he was all in. he’d send you paragraphs of text apologizing if he thought he said something wrong, shower you with small, thoughtful gifts (like your favorite snacks or a plant he’d researched how to care for), and eventually worked up the courage to hold your hand—though he’d sweat buckets the entire time.
jay would also start making lists—actual, physical lists—of things he could do to make you happy. “compliment her at least once a day,” “remember her favorite coffee order!,” and “learn how to not be a complete dork >:(” were scrawled on a sticky note tucked into his notebook. and when he wasn’t nervously doting on you, he was daydreaming about you, doodling your initials in the margins of his notes.
very soon, he was down-bad for you, which was evident through his real life and his social media activities. he’d post the cheesiest captions about you, like “can’t believe i’m dating the most amazing person in the world” with a blurry photo of the two of you. his friends teased him mercilessly, but he didn’t care. to him, you were worth every bit of embarrassment. late at night, he’d re-read your old texts and smile like an idiot, convinced he was the luckiest person alive.
JAKE
jake was a lovable mess. he wore mismatched socks, always seemed to forget his pencil, and somehow managed to trip over air at least once a day. his “plan” to talk to you involved him awkwardly hovering near your desk and pretending to need help with math problems he already knew how to solve. you knew from the start he was a bit of a loser—but that’s exactly why you liked him along with you finding everything he did adorable.
“wait, wait,” he said when you told him you were into him. “you like me? like, romantically? or is this a ‘pity me’ situation?”
after realizing you genuinely liked him, jake became a golden retriever in human form. he’d facetime you at random hours just to say hi, take you on chaotic “dates” that involved him occasionally tripping over things in public, nervously ordering food for you both and all silly fun activities like arcade games and amusement parks. it was never a dull day with him! after your first kiss, he couldn’t stop grinning for hours, texting his friends in all caps: “GUYS I JUST KISSED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AAHJKHSSSK”
jake’s down-bad behavior reached new levels when he started making playlists for every possible mood you might have: “songs to cheer you up,” “songs that remind me of you<3,” and even “songs to study to (but only if you want to study with me):3” he’d even text you mid-class to tell you he missed you, even if you’d just seen each other that morning.
jake was also the kind of boyfriend who’d insist on carrying your bag even when it was clear it was too heavy for him. “i’ve got this!” he’d say, wincing slightly but refusing to let you take it back. and if you ever mentioned feeling sad or stressed, he’d immediately panic, asking, “what can i do? tell me, and i’ll do it!” he’d even write you little notes with nerdy jokes or doodles to make you smile, slipping them into your locker or bag for you to find later.
SUNGHOON
sunghoon thought he was slick, but his ‘cool guy’ act was so transparent it was almost cute. he’d lean against the lockers during breaks, pretending not to notice you, but the way his ears turned red every time you walked by gave him away. despite his awkward attempts at being aloof, you found his loser tendencies adorable: like how he’d secretly google pickup lines but chicken out before using them.
when you confessed your feelings, he genuinely choked. “wait, you like me? oh wow… you have bad- I MEAN great taste ahem.” he spent a solid week trying to act nonchalant, but once you started dating, his loser side came out full force. he’d ask you to “rate his outfits” before dates, send you selfies captioned “just thinking about you bbg,” and blush furiously every time you complimented him. sunghoon may have tried to act smooth, but deep down, he was utterly whipped.
sunghoon would also start practicing ways to compliment you in the mirror—only to mess it up completely when the time came. “y-you look… uh, very… beautiful? no, wait, gorgeous! that’s the word i meant!” and everytime you smiled at him, he’d be texting his friends, “she smiled at me again!!!!! i’m gonna pass out.”
his devotion extended to doing the smallest things for you, like bringing you your favorite drink or snacks without you asking. he’d even memorise your schedule so he could “accidentally” bump into you between classes, claiming it was coincidence even though the timing was suspiciously perfect. at night, he’d lay awake replaying your conversations, smiling at the ceiling like the lovesick fool he was.
SUNOO
you had noticed sunoo always sitting at the edge of friend groups, laughing along but never quite joining in. he was bubbly and fun but had an air of self-doubt that made him endearing. you started noticing how he’d always bring extra snacks to share with classmates or go out of his way to compliment people—little acts of kindness that made your heart flutter. not to mention his angelic beauty, that had you look twice the first time you had seen him standing near the water cooler awkwardly.
it was hard not to develop a crush and when you told sunoo you liked him, he’d blink in disbelief. “no way. you’re joking, right?” but after realising you were serious, he’d giggle nervously and hide his face in his hands. once you started dating, he became the most attentive boyfriend ever, remembering every small detail about you and hyping you up like you were the main character. he’d also send you cheesy tiktoks at 2 a.m. with captions like, “this is so us babe ><”
sunoo was head over heels for you, the literal epitome of “she fell first but he fell harder”. he did adorable things like creating a secret pinterest board filled with date ideas and texting you pictures of cute animals with captions like, “look, it’s us in 50 years!” he also started learning how to bake just so he could surprise you with your favorite treats—though most of his attempts ended in chaotic, flour-covered disasters.
if you ever seemed upset, sunoo would go into full panic mode, showering you with compliments and doing everything in his power to cheer you up. “you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met,” he’d say earnestly, his eyes sparkling with sincerity. he even kept a list on his phone of all the things you’d mentioned liking, just so he could surprise you when you least expected it.
JUNGWON
jungwon was the class president who seemed to have it all together—but his close friends knew better. he was the guy who’d trip over his words during speeches, carry five planners because he kept losing them, and stress over things like forgetting to bring tape for a poster project. you liked him because, despite his loser-ish tendencies, he had a heart of gold and worked hard to make everyone feel included.
when you told him you had a crush on him, jungwon’s first reaction was to nervously laugh. “wait, me? are you sure? why would you do that to yourself!?” once he accepted that you really liked him, he became the sweetest boyfriend imaginable. he’d plan thoughtful dates (that inevitably went slightly wrong but ended up being more fun because of it), leave you encouraging notes in your locker, and get adorably flustered every time you kissed him.
jungwon also started creating “motivational speeches” for you, writing them out on notecards and practicing in the mirror before giving them. “i believe in you,” he’d say earnestly, fumbling to hand you a little note that said, “you’re amazing, and don’t you forget it.” if you teased him about it, he’d bury his face in his hands and mumble, “stop, you’re embarrassing me…”
his love didn’t stop there. he’d stay up late researching ways to make your life easier, like creating color-coded study guides or finding fun new spots to take you on dates. and if anyone dared to speak poorly of you, jungwon would step up, surprising everyone with his sudden fierceness. “they don’t know what they’re talking about,” he’d say, his tone protective and unwavering.
NI-KI
ni-ki was the quiet gamer boy who’d rather blend into the background than be noticed. he wore the same hoodie every other day and constantly had earbuds in, even when they weren’t playing anything. you liked him because of how unpretentious he was—and how his eyes lit up whenever he talked about something he loved, like a new game or a random meme he found hilarious.
when you told him you were into him, ni-ki almost dropped his controller. his eyes narrowed into a glare, “are you sure you’re not messing with me? did jake tell you about my crush?” after he realised what he had said, he immediately scampered away leaving you standing there confused. once he got over his initial shock, he became your biggest simp. he’d send you memes that reminded him of you, let you beat him at games (even though he’d deny it), and randomly text you “you’re so pretty” at the most unexpected times. around his friends, he’d brag about you non-stop, showing off pictures of you with a proud grin.
once he was down bad for you, he became hell bent on learning how to cook your favorite meals—even though he’d never cooked before in his life. “how hard can it be?” he’d say, only to panic five minutes in and call you for help. he also started staying up late to design matching gamer tags for the two of you, insisting that everyone online needed to know you were his.
in quiet moments, ni-ki would open up about how much you meant to him, his voice soft and a little shaky. “i don’t know what i did to deserve you, but i’m not letting go.” and if you ever showed up to surprise him during his gaming sessions, he’d immediately log off, saying, “sorry, guys, my priority is here,” as he turned his full attention to you.
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#౨ৎ 𝓐dy writes🪄#en-diaries#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#enhypen fics#enhypen x reader#sunoo x reader#sunoo imagines#kpop fics#heeseung x reader#heeseung imagines#jay x reader#jay imagines#jake x reader#jake imagines#enhypen reactions#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#jungwon x reader#jungwon imagines#niki x reader#niki imagines#loser!enhypen#enhypen headcanons
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