#but a lot of what im doing still feels accidental
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i really wish sonic battle would.... explain anything....
#maybe this is what the tutorial in the main menu is for but ermm idk how to get there#like it explains in the game how to do a heavy attack and a uh. sonics upper attack idk if that's what its called#but a lot of what im doing still feels accidental#i keep triggering the dash somehow i think#dunno how healing works#grrr#this is ehy i don't like games#myaa
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fun scene idea that I’ll probably never get around to drawing: someone grabbing a wanted poster from a board or wall only to reveal a missing persons poster featuring the same person as on the wanted poster underneath it (also the reward for them as a wanted person is higher than the reward for returning them when they were missing)
#basically this is something fun I imagine for my oc cashmere#as of right now she’s simply missing (presumed to be kidnapped at least that’s what the family she is from told people)#as of rn in her story she isn’t wanted for anything but that can change I’ll probably have her (attempt to) commit treason against her#own family or something#I think it would be fun that her family is willing to spend less when she’s missing than when they’re mad at him and want him back to be#punished for angering them#I have attempted to draw this out before but was like#it would be better as like an animation tbh but#I can’t animate I’m not going to animate my tablet does not even have the storage for me to animate#maybe a quick animatic if anything but like#idk#it’s more of a fun idea than anything#I imagine what leads to cashmere committing treason is that upon being back in the hands of their family they begin to realize that they#can’t lie to theirself anymore their family is terrible and the reason they died in the first place and snaps#i feel like they found themselves in a situation where they attacked someone out of fear and rage and blah blah that is seen as treason#it would probably be his dad that gets attack im ngl conquest deserves it#or they accidentally hurt them out of fear#I am unsure#*shrug emoji* I’m just making up shit for cashmere as I see fit and per what I find most interesting and fun <3#also cashmere is my only oc rn who would have both a missing and a wanted poster#sure most of my ocs would find themselves wanted for one reason or another or targeted by others#but some cashmere is useful as a tool to their family and having a runaway child is bad for their reputation they’d ofc want her back to#keep her quiet and keep people from finding out that she ran away#they also still think she’s sickly and wouldn’t want anyone to find out who she is that she’s sickly and for word to spread#basically they want cashmere back so their reputation isn’t damaged and so they can go back to using her as they please#I put a lot of suffering into this character#and I will continue to do so because as my favourite this is what happens#sorry I’m babbling
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Just found a playlist that my ex situationship from 3 yrs ago made that I’m like 99% sure is dedicated to me and now I can’t stop crying. It kinda confirms everything I already knew. The universe has impeccable timing truly
It’s these songs being on there and it being a divorce playlist that really made it obvious what it’s abt. We had a mutual friend named Katie. At least she’s self aware and acknowledges what the whole thing was like from my point of view 🙂
#mighttt delete this later#i mean u almost have to laugh#divorce babe divorce#i feel like i accidentally manifested this#well maybe not accidentally bc this is kinda exactly what i was hoping for#never get into a sapphic situationship don’t do it 0/10 would not recommend#3 yrs later and im still not over it#made a playlist in response to hers so maybe she’ll see it 😃#it has lots of taylor swift gracie abrams and phoebe bridgers#put moon song savior complex and full machine in there#hope ur ok amelie gold rush and 21 too#the thing is im not mad at her at all despite everything that happened#bc we never even had a falling out or anything it just fizzled out#sorry to anyone who reads this just ignore me#Spotify
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here's some recent flubs + failures from the past month!
#my art#rotten yams#cursed yams#so out of three of these. two of them i fixed/redid#and one of them i just straight up abandoned#the one i straight up abandoned was the first one—it was a ponyo au doodle w/ yamato as fujimoto#naruto as ponyo. and sasuke as sosuke ofc. very silly au but my drawing felt too...off. idk what it was#naruto is climbing up a wall btw and yamato is standing on the ground below#the second one...as always i was inking something and accidentally whacked yamato with the side of my fist#and bc ink pools in dark spots like eyes. it wasnt dry yet. so. SPLAT! i gave him a black eye 😔#the final one.....it wasnt working. i redrew the whole thing and re contextualized it.#eventually it became the spooky story yamato comic for tendaysoftenzo#its funny that the first one is the one i abandoned because its the one out of these (even before i blacked yamatos eye) i liked the most#but it was just frustrating me to work on. either the idea isnt ready or im not ready but either way its fine#im always saying that if u get tired or upset or frustrated its ok to stop working + i do rlly mean that like. failures are okay#and theyre still valuable! u learn a lot of things thru failure#and its freeing to give up on a drawing knowing that if u want u can come back later#and i was happy to come back to the latter two. and im happy to abandon the first. it feels good
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cori is bi and shtola is a lesbian but it doesn’t really bother me when ppl tag posts of them together or whatever assuming they’re both lesbians. but it does bother me when ppl assume cori is a woman ahdhdjsk
#these are both relatively harmless (to me) and understandable. it’s not like i put an indicator in every post that cori is bi or non binary#assumption of lesbianism is fine to me bc that’s just about cori’s relationship to shtola#and not necessarily gendered. even tho i’m like fine with more gendered terms when it comes to their relationship (gf#(depending on who it’s coming from lol)#i’m less fine with assumptions of their gender/that they are a woman#but i mean i Get It i know how i dress them and present them on here ahdhdjsk#and i do kind of think of them as like. adjacent to womanhood/not completely disconnected from it#but still not a woman. ya know. anyway all this to say i don’t think ppl are doing it on purpose so im not mad about it#it just makes me wrinkle my nose in a way ppl assuming they’re a lesbian doesn’t lol#this was inspired by a post i saw about the lesbian assumption thing but i didn’t want to spout all these cori feelings all over it#so i just made my own ahdjdksk im not trying to discourse or whatever i think that post was v valid and understandable!!#it’s just something i’ve thought a lot about with cori bc it does happen#i need a text post tag#(*gf. wife) i accidentally put a comma so idk what happened to wife up there lol
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Idk man I just need to hold hands with Kai Satou and I’ll be good
#yttd#he needs kisses yeah#ive just been watching his fondness events from your time to shine and theyre kinda making me feel things like damn i didnt expect#them to be as good as they are i guess it really shows how good these characters are man 😩#the nao ones really got to me cuz she calls him silly and kind and hes like 🥺🍳 just like absolutely clueless what to do with himself#he doesnt know how to socialize or receive compliments hes so unused to that shit#its like dammit give this man some kisses right the fuck now 👺👺👺#then idk he just has a really stupid sense of humor and chases reko around to tell her ghost stories cuz he likes them#and because he likes to be a menace#he accidentally becomes kannas mom and he wears a bucket in his head to match her#idk like i already liked him a lot when i initially played the game and then like recently introduced a friend to it#and she LOVED kai which was unsurprising to me lol and i was just like. yeah actually kai fuckin rules#and his past story made me feral and then yeah i discovered these fondness events and im like#okay so yeah hes the best character#or at least my second favorite character i still gotta keep shin on his pedestal#aaaaghhh its really hard deciding my favorite characters in this game theyre all so good like even the characters im not crazy about#are still really fucking good and yeah just like everyone feels important and well developed its very good#anyways i have such a type for pretty boys with big autism who were raised to be assassins but now theyre house husbands
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#snapped at my mom because im stressed about my preboard results and then i apologized and explained that i was rly stressed and accidentally#lashed out and she started saying that im always rude to her and taking my stress out on her ??? and that i never do this to my dad#and then she said i never talk to her about anything even though she's the only one who does everything for me yet i still dont talk to her#and well. maybe if she didnt tell my brother 'if u do this u will end up like ur sister in the future. u dont want to fail in life right ?#then dont do this' (nearly exact words) when she was scolding him . i mean maybe then i would actually want to talk to her#and it sucks because i cant rly talk to anyone irl about this because i still feel scared that they'll like. judge my mom#because i still love her a lot and dont want people to think badly about her#but its getting harder ! to exist here ! and the fact that i am constantly used as an example of what my brother should NOT be#especially when i work this hard partly because i want to be someone my brother can look up to#and to have that come from my own mother . it's really hurtful and makes me feel like nothing i ever do will be enough for her#not to mention the fact that i have come out to her 4 times and she still constantly asks me if it's just a phase#<- i thought that part was getting better but apparently not#but i've stopped expecting anything from anyone in that respect so it doesn't really come as a surprise lmao#anyway rant over i just needed to get that off my chest because i really dont know how long i can keep crying and then forcing my voice#to be normal so that no one asks what happened because wow it is taking a toll on me! who knew#do noooot perceive this
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they're at mad at me island i should cvt
#cvt#cvtting#I'm like ... 2 months clean question mark#i unfortunately am Very good at like .. invalidating myself abt sh and all#so I barely even count what I did as cvts lmao#I have a few scars that haven't faded yet on my thigh though so that's. something#you know how it is#and like of course do not take my words here as like . idk Truth. like#if you've got small ones that's still sh yk like. that's still ??#i don't rlly know how to go abt talking here lol#i try not to log in too much. makes me worse I think#ur all valid is what I'm getting at#anyway . they are ignoring me on purpose bc I accidentally did something#and its making me feel like fucking shit but I don't want to tell them that bc like?? if they're reacting like this#over something I'm Also upset abt?? idk#i've been able to vent to them a Lot and have felt v safe abt it but mm. I'm unfortunately very sensitive lol#and idk if I will be able to confide in them for a fucking While again#I don't want to break my streak though. also I've always been afraid of bleeding so LMAOOOO#im not letting myself sleep tonight instead. haven't done that since hs but uhmm Oh Well it is what it is#doubt they're in these corners of Tumblr but if u know who this is Sowwy !#🐦⬛posting
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What's up gamers I'm bored
#rat rambles#Ive been in my 3d animation class for 2 hours and Im gonna be here for another 2 hours god help me#I have a decent start of a draft for our current 2d animation assignment but I am now kinda burnt out so Im taking a break#which ofc means Im bored as hell I should have brought snacks fr#idk I might dip out of class for a sec to buy some since I think theres some vending machines on campus?#idk where tho I forgor#I also do feel like I need to keep pushing forward tho since ngl I havent even touched this project before today#and I wasnt at the last class so idk I feel like I need to prove Im trying or smth#idk either way Im tired and bored and wish I was playing rainworld rn#also Im animating some of my slugcat ocs! the mama cat boon accidentally possessed and her two kids#I was originally gonna animate different characters but then I decided to stick with some simpler designs to make things faster#like I Could animate more humanoid designs but given Im already behind I dont wanna risk it#rly my biggest issue is having to animate at 24 frames per second Im more used to animating at 15#its not too hard its just gonna be frustrating filling out the like 300 frames I need to do#obviously Im gonna pad with loops and stills this is an animation class after all the teacher will get it#but still thats a lot of frames to figure out what to do with
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this game is so fucking sad
#my posts#gameblogging#liveblogging rain world#i just read through the iterator logs bc i found some of them in-game and was curious#yea im fucking crying#ITS SO FUCKING SAD WHAT THE FUCK#and its so easy to get attached to and feel for many of the creatures in this game#but most of all the iterators bc of the logs and how they interact with the slugcats#and i sure wish we got to know more about the other iterators#like technically there's enough material for a sequel but somehow i dont think that'll ever happen....#on a different note one thing i dont really understand#and i dont think is ever clarified#is how much the scavengers know about the state of the world#like they bring moon things and they try to kill overseers as an act of defiance...#i dont think any of that accidental so it's interesting to think about#but its annoying that we just dont /know/#and this game still has a lot of such things despite all of the lore we /do/ know#its just hndghsngshfn
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what are the characters that appear in all the games and by all I mean most I know Daigo doesn’t appear in Y1 but he’s basically in every game even 0. Also to make it easier only main characters
i guess it depends on your definition of 'most': there are 11 yakuza games (excluding remakes) so when you say 'most' i'm going to consider characters that appear in at least 6/11 games. i'm not including flashback cameos (this would mean excluding saejima in Y0 because he's not in the game otherwise)
in that case, that'd be kiryu, majima, haruka, date, kashiwagi, and daigo
#snap chats#yeah its not a lot surprisingly#'snap the fuck do you mean kashiwagi shows up more than saejima' 0-3 + 7 + ishin#saejima only shows up 4-7 + ishin#it always feels weird including 6 for the jimas since they show up for like two scenes max#but i mean theyre there. and i still cry looking at Y6 daigo so#im prob forgetting someone but bro said main charas only so#anon i gotta be so 100% rn No Disrespect but what inspired this question#im just curious i aint bein a hate cause this is something id accidentally ask myself while rambling about some bullshit#this just feels so specific and I Repeat only something i'd ask myself amidst a ramble
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maybe i’m just finding any issue with situationship guy before we have sex bc i’m feeling weird about sex but also maybe he wasn’t wrong when he said he was clingy and i do not care for it
#personal#i called him bud and we had to have an extremely long talk about it#like literally said no problem bud and we had to have a 2 convo on it bc it was too nonchalant and aloof#anyway half way through when i got through to him that im having to comfort him for two hours about calling him bud#he was like holy shit you literally just called me bud i am so fucking clingy i am my mother#like it went from 2 hour convos at 3 am or while i’m at work explaining that im not a horrible person for x#i was like hey if we’re gonna do this every night we should stop talking bc wtf do you even like about me#he stops doing that#then he gets upset i’m not emotionally open i call him on the fact he’s treating this like a relationship and im his girlfriend#when i was very upfront what i can do emotionally and it’s not that#he noticed that and said he’ll try to stop but it’ll still happen and i’ll still be like dude. we’re not that and you’re not entitled to#that#and i can’t tell if it’s the tiredness from weed/ work/ staying up later to hang with him/ talking at length#or if i’m just genuinely sick of this and want to break it off#and like he doesn’t get it which is also annoying#bc he wants to and hang and despite me saying i’m tired is still hitting me up at like 1 am u up#not a sexy text that’s when he’s out of work#and i went out late while mad tired bc he had the day off (rare) and i felt bad#and i like when i miss or ignore late night texts bc i don’t want to accidentally land in a long ass convo when i have work in the morning#and godddddd he’s just kinda emotional#like he’s fun to talk to or hang with and there’s physical chemistry but also so much of this is so much work and annoying#and the night i was like we should break this off i even said this is a lot of work for a dude who did me dirty#and also it feels weird bc it’s very unbalanced on liking bc he rlly likes me and wants to date and i definitely don’t want that#i kinda want to cut it off if we have to have a super long chat again. like i told him im fine reassuring him now and then#but if it’s a daily or hourly thing we should cut it off bc that’s too much for me OR him but mainly me#or maybe it can be chill and we can just hang out/ have sex/ maybe go on dates and then it can end in a while when it’s run its course#either way i’m gonna have to end it bc he def won’t#to be clear i’m not being super mean i invite him out to the movies and drive him i drive him to taco bell just to hang im putting work in#but i just wish people were more comfortable with themselves and liked themselves#call me avoidant but i wish people were more comfortable with themseleves and being alone sooooooooooooo fucking bad
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Me: ok cool I know what the main villains will be like
Me: reanalyzes fnaf story// maybe I should rewrite this [insert thing]
Me: ok cool I fixed this thing
Me: reanalyzes fnaf again// ok but maybe I should add this detail
Me: cool I got this now which could lead to this thing
Me: reanalyzes fnaf story// oh wait-
#a vicious cycle especially because steel wool is weird with their story telling and everything is now just referencing the past and stuff#being rewritten (exaggerated) or not having exsisted at all (afton kids) or being recreated (because mimic) and then everything is becoming#something crazy and we have vanni and helpi now like yikes its a lot and i wanted my au to be fnaf but high school which is what edo didn't#technically say it was gonna be story wise and they got mad for no reason tbh but i did want mine to be as closely related to fnaf as i can#its really just so many characters that makes it feel like its a lot which is why im making archs in the first place so its not crammed#together and i can give it pacing to add useless side stuff for fun and add extra characters like ones from the books or extra characters#in the games like fnaf ar too and all that plus its high school i kinda want them to do normal stupid teenager shit because I've always#liked when characters did extra dumb things together like trips or sneaking out c:#don't mind me#there's just so much happening and i have to plan ahead so i can place things early and correctly so it makes sense early I've already#given some spoilers too but idk if y'all noticed tbh but that's probably a good thing you didn't. i have no self control and some was#accidental since i ended up liking old ideas and want to keep them ú3ù#doesn't help that a lot of character stuff is from old fnafhs planning it just felt weird to permanently remove so much especially when it#can fit fnaf wise still💀 and then there's freddy ):<
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played some more mother 1 i died to the magicant dragon like seven times in a row . awesome
#last attempt ana died turn one i just gave up after that#i dont want her to lose out on the exp… plus shes rhe only one w superhealing in case someone else goes down#ive heard it can get oneshot if u just use a superbomb but part of me wants to actually beat it#idk#seems pretty impossible at the level im at rn tbh i might just give up and do that#i got lifeup beta on ninten before one of the attempts on rhe way to the dungeon thingy but i reset the game after i died cuz i didnt#wanna lose the money i had on me and i still havent been able to learn it again -_- really annoying but also it hasnt been too necessary#since i gave evrryone h2o pendants and started setting up psi shields turn one#honestly the biggest issue is the physical damage (its pretty much guaranteed to oneshot ana even with boosted defense)#only way to combat that is just grinding i think which i dont really wanna do since the best place#just based on the general feel of enemies so far for me to do that would be the desert#i dont think you can teleport there and im kinda sick of walking all the way there#right after i got the cactus melody i wanted to use the ocarina to play what i had so far but i accidentally used the onyx hook#and i still had to do the whole monkey cave thing so i had to walk all the way back 😭#oh my god im realizing how whiny this sounds its like. im not as frustrated as ive seen some ppl get w this game but understand this is lik#the most time-wasting game in the world. walking anywhere takes forever cuz of the horrible encounter rate and shitty map design#genuinely i dont mind as much of this games jank as i probably should but the backtracking is insane#especially when you actually take advantage of the onyx hook. at least i have teleportation now stuff will#probably be a lot more streamlined from now on#inquisitivewaltz.txt
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I love how ppl say they're writing ford as aro when they're writing him as aroace and by love I mean I find it deeply frustrating
#☢️.txt#im gonna be honest i strongly dislike when ppl make ford ace in general bc i feel like its heavily predicated on two misconceptions#the first being that someone being aro means theyre almost certainly ace as well#and the second being that if ur smart and autistic you might as well be ace until proven otherwise (My Life Experience)#ford only ever says that he finds romance and the typical heterosexual life to be confusing!#+ he said that literal decades ago. and it seemed to mostly be about him not getting#why fiddleford wanted to settle down. bc ford is chronically incapable of doing anything other than mad science#also its not like disney is gonna let anyone just go 'yeah ford fucks monsters'. they did say he dated a siren#like ppl can do whatever they want i get some ace ppl relate to him its just fucking frustrating#esp when ppl write him as ace but interested in romance. thats so. tiring#thats! even further from what the text suggests!!!!!#anyways i think ford pines has more gay monster sex than anyone else in the multiverse and hes still confused about the premise of dating#hes broken at least like 5 guys hearts bc he accidentally dated them when he thought it was was just stress relief and science convos#anyways if ur planning to write any character as aro please actually consider if you mean aroace or just aro. a lot of aro ppl arent ace!#we arent the fucking same!
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22y/o me's "i really want to take some sunflowers down to the ocean for (the Storm Mother) to apologise for everything I've ever done because she hates me and I'm disgusting and I just want her to be ok... I'm not supposed to go near sunflowers bc they're related to her but I just want to apologise and make it right and nothing else ive done has succeeded in that" vs 26y/o me's "I want to buy sunflowers for myself because I deserve it and they remind me of her but fuck it, mine now, and I want to visit the ocean w Storm Mom for fun and spiritual purposes bc we're close and she never hated me, I don't even need to think about that" fight
#ramblings //#man i really cannot put into words the weight of being drawn to someone but for basically 5 years youre made to feel like even thinking#about them or saying their name in your head is bothering them. and they hate you and think youre disgusting because...#you made comments about a video game character being attractive.... and she never apparently forgives you no matter what#and the same people who are telling you this are like ''oh im so sorry i mean i kinda understand where you were coming from but#you were kinda gross about it'' like. hearing ''yeah she still really doesnt want anything to do with us because you were gross and shes#way above you and a god and you just really fucked it up'' every time i even thought her name... that wasnt even her name come to find out.#To not even be able to THINK of her in my own head because that was a transgression and she could hear it so if i ever did it accidentally#i was just being bad again and hurting her again and again and again. my very thoughts themselves against me.#it was a harsh 5 years but anyway im just really thankful that. hey whats up storm mom youre chill af and we get along great#and now i see why they were obsessed w making sure i didnt connect with you bc like#partially you saved my life lmfao#red sky //#and a lot to be said about how we just could never get in contact for Some Reason with (their code word for Leviathan & Hermes)#(as well as others but) like.... for some reason my ex had such Deep Knowledge of his cult shit but couldnt get into contact#with Leviathan or the Storm Mother or Hermes around me............................................ weird.........................#almost like when they saw what my ex was doing and saying about them they would realise shit was severely wrong..........#diary //
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