#call me avoidant but i wish people were more comfortable with themseleves and being alone sooooooooooooo fucking bad
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maybe i’m just finding any issue with situationship guy before we have sex bc i’m feeling weird about sex but also maybe he wasn’t wrong when he said he was clingy and i do not care for it
#personal#i called him bud and we had to have an extremely long talk about it#like literally said no problem bud and we had to have a 2 convo on it bc it was too nonchalant and aloof#anyway half way through when i got through to him that im having to comfort him for two hours about calling him bud#he was like holy shit you literally just called me bud i am so fucking clingy i am my mother#like it went from 2 hour convos at 3 am or while i’m at work explaining that im not a horrible person for x#i was like hey if we’re gonna do this every night we should stop talking bc wtf do you even like about me#he stops doing that#then he gets upset i’m not emotionally open i call him on the fact he’s treating this like a relationship and im his girlfriend#when i was very upfront what i can do emotionally and it’s not that#he noticed that and said he’ll try to stop but it’ll still happen and i’ll still be like dude. we’re not that and you’re not entitled to#that#and i can’t tell if it’s the tiredness from weed/ work/ staying up later to hang with him/ talking at length#or if i’m just genuinely sick of this and want to break it off#and like he doesn’t get it which is also annoying#bc he wants to and hang and despite me saying i’m tired is still hitting me up at like 1 am u up#not a sexy text that’s when he’s out of work#and i went out late while mad tired bc he had the day off (rare) and i felt bad#and i like when i miss or ignore late night texts bc i don’t want to accidentally land in a long ass convo when i have work in the morning#and godddddd he’s just kinda emotional#like he’s fun to talk to or hang with and there’s physical chemistry but also so much of this is so much work and annoying#and the night i was like we should break this off i even said this is a lot of work for a dude who did me dirty#and also it feels weird bc it’s very unbalanced on liking bc he rlly likes me and wants to date and i definitely don’t want that#i kinda want to cut it off if we have to have a super long chat again. like i told him im fine reassuring him now and then#but if it’s a daily or hourly thing we should cut it off bc that’s too much for me OR him but mainly me#or maybe it can be chill and we can just hang out/ have sex/ maybe go on dates and then it can end in a while when it’s run its course#either way i’m gonna have to end it bc he def won’t#to be clear i’m not being super mean i invite him out to the movies and drive him i drive him to taco bell just to hang im putting work in#but i just wish people were more comfortable with themselves and liked themselves#call me avoidant but i wish people were more comfortable with themseleves and being alone sooooooooooooo fucking bad
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