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bengiyo · 2 months ago

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An Apology to The Miracle of Teddy Bear

I finally caught up with a show that was inaccessible for a long time, and also bogged down in bad-faith fan reporting, at the insistence of @lurkingshan, @twig-tea, and later @wen-kexing-apologist. A few months ago, Shan and Twig wrote about how The Miracle of Teddy Bear Saved the Gays to push back on the false narrative that the show buried the gays and forced the lead to marry a woman, and also about how it contains incisive social commentary about a Thai gay man. I won't reiterate what they said in their excellent essay, but I do want to pick up from my Apology to Ossan's Love and The Novelist to talk about going back for shows you missed.

When this show first began airing in the spring of 2022, it was completely inaccessible in the West. I remember seeing rumors at the time that the show was withheld from international distribution due to its critical themes about Thai society, and I was curious about how a show about how a guy falls in love with his teddy bear that comes to life could be causing such consternation. After the show ended, I also remember seeing discontented commentary about the end of the show's ending that turned out to be patently false.

Now that I've actually seen the show, I want to briefly gush about the things I loved in this show.

Job Thuchapon Imbues Nut With A Complex Humanity Rarely Afforded Gay Characters in the BL Sphere

As I was finishing the show last night, I commented to my friends that Job might be one of the most beautiful people I've encountered in Thai queer media, and I think it's because his performance as Nut feels recognizably human. I'm convinced it's because this was a drama with humanist goals that was able to avoid prioritizing romance as its key outcome. As such, Nut becomes one of the best expressions of the traumatized artist trying to do something with his pain in his art that I've ever been blessed to see.

Nut is dealing with intense family trauma from his father's homophobia, his mother's silence and impotence on the matter, and the social circumstances around his life. He's a man with deep anger at his mom and father, who is also tasked with being the breadwinner for his household because his mom is mentally ill. Moreover, his hateful aunt lives next door to only make their lives worse. Nut is an extremely lonely but talented writer who wants to make something more than a standard BL prioritizing romance, cuteness, and product placement.

Most importantly for me, Nut is so unabashedly gay in a way that I also found extremely believable. He's the kind of gay that's not exactly hiding who he is, but isn't going to go out of his way to blast it to everyone. He's not afraid to hold a man's hand in public, but he's also just going to ignore the female coworker who can't take a hint. On top of that, the gays have sex in this show! The show uses so many useful tools to show us that Nut and Tofu have sex without needing to do a lot of bed scenes. I deeply appreciated this.

Inn Sarin Makes The Teddy Bear Role Into a Meaningful Exploration of the Nature of Humanity and Kindness

I originally worried that Inn was here just to be beautiful (he is), and that his character would just be a joke (it most certainly wasn't). Instead, what I got was a character whose innocence allowed us as viewers to explore some heavy moral dilemmas that a simple view of human nature could not accommodate. By the end of the show I was screaming into the chat that "He's only a bear!" because none of the problems he faced were simple.

Tofu, through his interactions with the other inanimate objects in the house experiences incredibly growth over the show, and learns that loving a human as a human is far more complicated than loving them as a teddy bear. He's faced with difficult challenges around Nut's mom's health issues, Nut's family troubles, and even his own jealousy of Nut's childhood love. Inn's affect as Tofu matures as Tofu becomes more familiar with human nuance, which is contrasted so well by the flashbacks with his dead human doppelganger.

This Show Completed Every Thread it Established

This may not seem like an important thing to highlight, but it's so rare for shows to actually do this, especially when they're this complex. I have massive respect for screenwriter Prapt and the team around him, because it's so rare that I enjoy a final episode of a Thai drama. I was openly weeping at the resolution of a thread I thought was forgotten in the finale.

This show had much to say about speaking truth to power, and how the powerful wield death as a weapon. It had much to say about how internalized homophobia expresses in gay men in different ways. It took its mental health themes seriously. It also humanized its villains in a way that makes them some of cruelest I've seen on screen in a long time. It also shows how important community support systems are, especially the role elder gays play in your life. Most importantly, I loved that this show didn't insist that everyone has to hang out and be friendly with everyone who ever hurt them, even if it values getting closure from much-needed apologies.

Conclusion: This Show Has Everything

This show really is something special, and I recommend going on YouTube and watching it. It's a long watch, but it's one of the most rewarding viewing experiences I've had from Thailand in the last decade. I'm also convinced that I have to take learning Thai more seriously, because if Prapt's writing is this tight, I have serious doubts about what we got from The Eclipse. Any Thai people following me, please let me know if you get around to reading the book The Eclipse is based on so you can talk to me about what you experienced from Prapt's pen directly.

#Ben writes #Ben watches #the miracle of teddy bear #bl recommendation #drama recommendation #thai bl #bl series

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jess-the-vampire · 2 months ago

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You know it's stuff like this why I partly can't join the owl house fandom. The fandom seems to persnickety about liking certain charactersand headcanons, especially as someone who has dealt with similar shit before in my other fandoms. Granted there are other reasons I hate the fandom, but this is the worst one. It kinda soured the show for me, granted I never cared for it, but they just worsening it for me.

At times like these, i think it's important to remember posts like this

Bigger fandoms, will always end up looking worse by comparison, it's inevitable unfortunately.

For me, this is also unfortunately nothing new, anyone whose been with me since the start knows that.

It was a decade ago, in another fandom, that i was harassed and accused of being homophobic, because i shipped some characters together that wasn't the popular same sex ship.

I shipped plenty of other same sex ships, heck, i considered the characters in question to be bisexual. But that did not stop me from being publicly mocked, harassed, and put on block lists.

I was underage at the time, this was my first fandom experience, and it also soured that fandom for me, even the show itself.

People go into these things, thinking they're protecting people, or helping others.

And on the surface, i could see how one would think that.

But you're really not, people are not that simple, and neither are what they enjoy or are drawn to.

I was a teenager having fun in my own little space, with a ship i knew was noncanon, and it wouldn't of taken much research to find out i had no issue with the lgbt community at all, but no, it was "You are erasing us, you only ship this because you hate gay people, you're a horrible human being and yada yada yada-"

now, a decade later, it's "You are ignoring the poc cast because you're racist, you only like this character and are invested in him because you believe in what he believes in, you're a racist and sexist being for enjoying him and yada yada-"

Look, people do this because they want to protect people who have been screwed for centuries, it's perfectly understandable to worry that people who think belos is a cool character could like him for the wrong reasons. But people who genuinely think this way are a minority, and will be way more outspoken about those beliefs, is the solution here really to go up to anyone who likes something you don't and ruin them without evidence? To accuse them all of horrible beliefs?

this entire belief system removes the possibility of many MANY other reasons people enjoy media, and is straight up jumping to conclusions that if someone doesn't fundamentally agree with what you think, they MUST be a bad person. No critical thinking, no trying to understand others, just straight up assuming things.

Which btw, ironically, is actually acting WAY more like belos then anything the artists doing wittober were actually doing. Even the idea people are making art about his childhood and therefore sympathizing with him falls apart because there have been just as much art about his crimes so far.

Belos is a villain in a cartoon, people have latched onto villain characters since the dawn of time, it's nothing new. If you're going to keep this train of thought going....is disney just bad for their villian brand? are people also horrible for similar reasons if they have a favorite disney villian?

This entire thought process can be applied anywhere if you try hard enough.

Which is the kinda thing that allows actual human beings to be genuinely hurt here.

like are people going to be hurt more because people make aus with belos, or are they going to be hurt more because people who make said aus are accused or being racist people worth scrutinizing?

This thought process also doesn't take into the account of the fact that the people who like belos, might also be lgbt or poc, which....a lot of them are from my experience.

You can't both preach the show's message of accepting people who are different from you, and then also try and justify harassing people because they fandom differently then you. Unless the wittebane people are actively spouting out racist and sexist stuff, they're not doing anything wrong by engaging in the parts of the fandom that interest them.

Not everyone will be drawn to the show for the same reasons, you always gotta remember that, everyone has different favorite characters, different ships, and different things that make them happy.

Fandom is meant to be fun, people make aus because they're fun, they want to play with the media they like and do new things with it.

I strongly doubt everyone who has made an au staring hunter, or belos, or who thinks the wittebanes are interesting, sat down and said "Man, i like this show, but there are too much minorities in it, i hate minorities, i should make an au removing them or draw the wittebanes because they are white".

as a fan of these characters myself, i like them, but don't care too deeply about the blights, other white popular characters. I feel that should imply my investment in them has a lot more to do with other aspects then race.

in fact this makes me wonder if the person complaining in the tags would have the same argument about aus staring eda or amity in the same vain, even though hunter eda and amity are all lgbt, and two are disabled.

If you are doing stuff like this, either don't engage with stuff that doesn't interest you, because it's really weird to be this obsessed with a part of the fandom you don't care about.

or maybe, actually try to understand why people like it, rather then assume it's for the wrong reasons.

just my thoughts.

#the owl house #toh #emperor belos #philip wittebane #toh critical #toh fandom critical

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olderthannetfic · 1 month ago

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Writing about my favorite characters as transgender has opened my eyes to how many people in fandom are able to get away with actual transphobia without other people judging them for it, and after one particularly bad experience I feel like I can't participate in fandom without constantly having to check people's profiles and social media to see whether or not they might secretly hate trans people. The fandom I currently write for is relatively small compared to others, but somehow I still manage to catch a lot of casual transphobia, especially on my higher-kudos'd works. This didn't really bother me at first since most of the comments were misinformed but rather harmless otherwise, with most asking me to write a fic where the MC medically transitions to become their "real gender" as a sequel. Those comments were written politely, but the sentiment that a person's body designates their gender bothered me a lot. I specifically present the trans characters in my fics as pre-op or non-op without dysphoria in order to feel more comfortable about my own body, and I'm really tired of reiterating the reasons why I personally won’t create a fic where the MC undergoes a full medical transition. I would be thrilled if someone else wrote that, but it’s not a concept I have any interest in executing myself.

Usually the casual transmedicalism in my comments is my only real gripe about the attitudes towards transness in my fandom, but recently I joined a major fandom discord server and found out that they had a dedicated thread for bashing my work. (Well, to be more accurate they had a bunch of threads for bashing people's works, but mine had the most messages at the time.) I should have just left at that point, but I was curious to see if there was any valid criticism because honestly I don’t get a lot of constructive feedback on my newer stuff and I wanted to see if there was anywhere I could improve. Unfortunately, it was almost entirely just really hurtful comments, with many people making assumptions about my body and offline identity, calling me a fake trans person and a chaser for the things I've written. They kept going on about how I'm fetishizing transness, how I probably just wanted an excuse to write het smut with an M/M tag on it, how I'm probably not actually a trans man but an obsessed and misguided teenage girl instead. I've been on T for over two years now, but even if I wasn’t, their belief that all bodies like mine are basically "female" was really upsetting. Maybe I just happened to stumble upon a bad crowd, but at that moment I just really felt alone. I never expected to receive that kind of vitriol in such a small fandom - I have maybe like five or so people who follow my work closely, so it's not like I'm hitting super big numbers compared to others. I understand that my work might be dysphoria-inducing for other people, but I include warnings for language at the beginning of all my fics and I'm extremely thorough about tagging all the sex acts that take place. It's easy to filter out my work via additional tags if you don’t want to see it. But no matter how many measures I take to make others feel more comfortable, they still feel like I'm taking up too much space and mucking up the tags with my fanfiction.

Part of me feels like quitting after this experience, but I'm also a spiteful bastard and I think it would haunt me forever if I stopped now lol. I'm curious to know if you or any of your followers has ever dealt with a similar situation (as in, finding out there's a bunch of people who hate your work for shitty reasons), and if you have advice on how to continue interacting with others in fandom without constantly wondering if they hate me behind closed doors. I left the server already but I'm sure there's other things I can do that I'm forgetting. Thanks for reading!!

There will always be people who dislike you for silly reasons, and if your fic is popular, there will be a lot of them. The only way to deal with it is to just accept that this is normal and not think about them.

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bimbolita · 11 months ago

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I’m so glad everyone is having the same visceral reaction to episode 4 like I did. I thought I was being too sensitive but fucking no. It is painful. It is horrid. Knowing that this type of abuse actively happens to sex workers and those who are trafficked. It’s jarring because I didn’t expect to see this dark and explicit depiction in a cartoon that jokes about penises every 2 minutes. It’s like when light hearted coco melon shows start talking about death, it was just unexpected because I never took this show serious. I’m going to share more of my thoughts below! Trigger Warning: Mentions of SA ⚠️

I don’t think it’s my place to deny or confirm if the ‘poison’ scenes were fetishized, I personally believe it’s subjective. I know how I feel but I think no matter where you stand, you are right in your own way. Many things can be true at once. What we can all agree on, is that it was harsh. In a way, I hope the audience is able to understand how exploiting and non glamorous sex work is. There is nothing fun about having your body used multiple times a day by people you do not know and having said scenes recorded then plastered all over the media. Of course all forms of engaging in or creating adult content are different, I am specifically talking about sex workers who have no say or control over their bodies and finances. Like Angel. Let us put emphasis on WORK in sex work.

It is demanding. It is laborious It is scaring. Remember that and remember the unheard voices who must do this to simply survive.

There is a lot of criticism about angel’s personality and yes I agree it is annoying but you have to understand, it is a trauma response. Hypersexuality is a common trait among those who are sexually abused. Angel just outwardly expresses it all the time because it is all he knows. This thought process is the only way to tolerate his behavior. I say thought process because it is only an interpretation. It’s very obvious viv just adores writing sexed up characters with zero nuance or depth but let’s just pretend she can actually write male characters that think beyond their cock and balls. Let’s pretend that Angel Dust is a two dimensional character and not (grits teeth) fetish bait.

Now, let’s talk about Charlie. Alright great, she saw her friend being mistreated and was about to stand up to his abuser, ok good good. The victim (Angel) gets upset and wants her to leave because he was beaten. Yes, average response of someone who is an abusive relationship, he is afraid and wants to avoid more conflict between him and Val. The situation at hand couldn’t be more than obvious. How does Charlie respond? She cries. And not because she is frustratedly concerned for the safety of her friend. It is because he yelled and rejected all her poor attempts at helping. Charlie is weak as shit and I think that interaction was weirdly written. I wish she had the mental fortitude to understand how much danger Angel’s life was in at that moment. I cannot enjoy her ‘aggressive kindness’ cutie do no wrong baby girl type of character in a moment like that.

And I feel the same about Husk’s song. Out of all the responses you could’ve made, this is what made it to the final cut? Do better. I don’t care if I lack the mEdIa LiTeRaCy twitter keeps yapping about. It’s bad. You just showed a sexual assault montage and the rebuttal was basically “my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once :/“ lol we’re both losers and that’s ok, suck it up buttercup, I like you regardless. This was the best response to an SA victim? No degree in media literacy would ever help me think that was an acceptable response. I dunno about ya’ll but I major in common sense at the university of using my eyes and fucking ears. Now imagine, if that entire segment, when Husk and Angel are at the bar plus the musical number; imagine if all of that was placed BEFORE we see Angel and Val interact and then poison plays as the final song. It would be 10x more impactful because then the audience sees how deep and stuck Angel actually is. Trauma olympics is never acceptable but neither is trauma participation trophies. It is not right to make Husk’s issues be seen as the same as Angel’s issues. They are not the same and it is ok to acknowledge that Angel has it worst than Husk. It’d be more genuine if Husk were to just hug him in complete silence after dragging him out of the bar and have Angel tearfully embrace him back. The first non sexual and benevolent interaction between them. The first physical act of care with no ulterior motives of lust.

I grind my teeth at the wasted potential.

#sorry for randomly dropping that trolls reference but it’s exactly what husk’s song felt like!#i hope my statement about sex workers didn’t come off as bashing anyone!!!#it’s just important to know it hard and can be extremely dangerous #don’t let some onlyfans girl with a pink wig trick you into thinking it’s fun just because she used her check to buy disney tickets or smth #sex work is (and i cannot stress this enough) WORK. LABOR.#anyways teehee thank you for reading!!!#anti vivziepop #anti hazbin hotel #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #hazmat hotel #🍯

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theabigailthorn · 2 years ago

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Surely with how popular you are you would have had a few cancelling attempts, but you're drama free. How? I thought you'd be target number 1 with TERFs.

So the thing is, people on the internet have and do try to wreck my life! But it's true that I get less of it than a lot of other women, and I often ask myself (and them) this same question. I think it comes down to a few factors. In no particular order:

I'm white and thin

I don't post selfies very often

The Philosophy Tube Jutsu: I never use my platform to say anything bad about individuals, so I don't make enemies

I'm British

I don't put my pronouns or the word 'trans' in my bio. I mention it if it it's relevant but to a casual troll looking for someone to go after there are more obvious targets

My brand: in terms of online content, my brand is 'Educational and Compassionate.' I try to be even-handed and listen to all sides and never be angry, and people are maybe a bit reluctant to get mad at someone who does that? In terms of acting, my brand right now is 'I'm Trying Hard and I'm On My Way Up!' which I guess people like?

I have a posh accent

I don't make online content about video games

I'm pretty enough that men like looking at me but not so hot it makes them angry

I transitioned in private before I came out publicly. I knew that when I did I'd get a lot of backlash, so I pre-emptively muted LOADS of words in my comments section and wove a kind of digital safety net

I'm so busy that I often miss whatever the discourse du jour is and don't get involved. As a wise woman once said, 'Do Not Tweet.'

I deliberately dress and present myself as 'classy' in public-facing stuff

Most of my content is scripted, so by default it attracts people who like to sit down and listen

Philosophy Tube is literally all about critical thinking and not taking things at face value. So if a typical Philosophy Tube Subscriber sees a post that says 'I saw Abigail Thorn kicking a puppy down the street!' they're more likely to stop and think, 'What's the evidence for this?' This means that when there are hate campaigns and lies spread about me (and there are, from time to time) my core audience sees through it and sticks around

I have very good mods! Big shout out to all the lovely people on r/philosophytube and all the people who moderate my livestream chats!

I have a social media manager who can look out for hate and pre-emptively guard against it

I don't hitch my brand to other people. I sometimes do little collabs or appear at events with other creators but for the most part I fly solo. That means if another creator blows up or posts something awful I minimise my chances of cancellation-by-association. I'm friends with lots of creators but for the most part I keep it behind the scenes (Learned this one the hard way!)

I'm not a sex worker. Those people get hate like you wouldn't believe - the sex workers I know are the toughest folks I've ever met!

I'm not very fun to bully! I do get death threats and hate campaigns and people make fake porn of me and libel me and all that stuff - literally every day - I just never talk about it publicly so trolls don't get the satisfaction of seeing me get upset. I just mute and block and move on silently. When I have to talk to a lawyer or the police about someone causing a problem, I handle it behind the scenes

Platform size. When TERFs in British media go after someone they tend to pick on people smaller than them, cause they're bullies.

I built my platform slowly, so I've had time to adjust and get used to how it impacts my life

People have tried to cancel me in the past and it's blown up in their faces, e.g. the Trump Transition Tweet Incident and the B*ck A*gel Affair.

To be absolutely clear, a LOT of this is luck and privilege. I'm not trying to blame the victims of online harassment: yes, some of these factors are things I choose to do but not everyone is able to make those choices. It's also the unwinnable game of respectability politics: yes I might get less hate because of the way I dress or whatever, but fundamentally that won't protect me if I get arrested and sent to a men's prison. These things aren't a substitute for a more just distribution of power. There's also this final possible factor:

It just hasn't happened yet.

#The Jutsu #Do Not Tweet #And Still the Brand Endures

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theravenmuse · 1 month ago

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Critical thinking is so so low in this fandom, apparently. Apparently it’s a *wild* thing to demand a reputable source before crucifying someone.

To be clear: I *did* listen to the women. Every one of those podcasts. What the women say is very different from what Tortoise was saying, especially in their headlines. If I was one of those women, I would be *pissed* about how my story, told in good faith, was skewed by a media outlet who believes that women cannot ever consent to BDSM. Yes, Tortoise’s “expert” legitimately says this. Women apparently don’t have any power over their own sexuality, especially when it comes to kink. That alone has me sooo pissed. I almost stopped listening right there but I wanted to hear what the women had to say.

So what did the women say? Did Neil Gaiman do shitty things? Yes. But the extent of what he did is unclear because of how Tortoise told the story. What the women say he did was not worth crucifying him over.

I could go through what each of the women actually accuses Neil Gaiman of, but that would be a very long post. In summary, it’s a lot of instances of questionable consent mixed in with (likely unintentional) abuse of fame. Making sure you have consent is important, but when a partner tells you yes, repeatedly, and doesn’t tell you different until things are over, you are not wholly to blame. When a woman texts you that they had a great time and they come back again asking for the same, what clues should you use to find out they don’t wholly mean those things? What about when a woman literally chased you onto a plane, begging you not to leave? What if a woman loves the sex until you tell them that you only have sexual interest in them, not romantic?

Could/should NG have done better? I honestly can’t tell you for certain because Tortoise’s reporting did not clearly lay anything out. Based on what the women said alone, I don’t blame him for not realising he didn’t have their full consent. When he said he was “surprised by the allegations” I can see why. What it comes down to is that as a man with a lot of power and influence, he should have been going above and beyond to ensure consent. Instead, he was accepting at best and pushy at worst. I’m not saying he’s innocent, I don’t think he fully is, I’m just saying we don’t have the story. We have a headline and a mishmash of testimony and reporting behind it that does not support those allegations. But you don’t know that, because you didn’t actually listen to the podcast. That’s what Tortoise was counting on.

#good omens #neil gaiman

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astrosirensblog · 2 years ago

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Sirenas Astrology observations

• moon hard aspects to mercury could be an indicator for having a hard time expressing your emotions verbally. Not having words of affirmation as a love language or having a hard time giving and receiving compliments or loving words. The type of person who says “I don’t have to say I love you everyday , I rather show it”

• the placement you have Aphrodite in can tell you how you can enhance your feminine energy and feel more beautiful inside and out. For example having Aphrodite in taurus could mean that cooking and taking more time to rest will make you feel better and nourished. Aphrodite in gemini needs to socialize and read or write to flourish in their feminine energy better

• people with permanent 10th house placements are known even when they’re not socializing much. They’re the type of person who don’t know many people but many people know them. It’s hard to ignore their presence, even when they don’t do anything

• People with mars in the 10th house tend to attract many people. Even people who hate them get obsessed with them and try to humbled them as much as possible. People with this placement don’t realize how intimidating their presence is and people see them as constant competition. Selena Gomez has this placement and we all know how other celebrities and even fan basis treat her even though she doesn’t do anything actively to provoke them. Honestly taking care of her mental health and not letting anybody humble her was the best decision she could have made for herself

• psyche in synastry can tell you about what you really need in a relationship in order to feel happy and fulfilled and become a better person. With your psyche placement you can learn on which parts you have to work on yourself too. With this placement it’s less about the physical intimacy and more about the intellectual and emotional intimacy of two souls coming together

• people with many 12th house placements tend to take criticism really personal and don’t like hearing it at all since they already have a hard time accepting themselves. They also struggle with feeling seen and appreciated even when people try to make them feel good, it’s never enough because they often lack self validation

• People with virgo placements take working out and looking fit really serious. I never meet a person with virgo placements who didn’t care about their physical appearance

• Having Mars in 4th house conjunct to the north node is a huge indicator of generational trauma that has been passing on in the family a lot. And this could bother the natal person a lot and it can cause friction in the family dynamic when they try to heal from that trauma and break the cycle

• Lillith shows up as the part of yourself that society has tried to repress or make you feel ashamed of. If it’s for example in the 3th house, you could have been told a lot to not share your views or opinions. Or people made fun of your voice growing up. You can take back your power by becoming more confident and expressing these parts of yourself freely

• Women who have Lillith conjunct sun and or asc often use their appearance and sexuality as a way to get what they want. For example Megan Thee Stellion has Lillith in Taurus conjunct her asc and she’s known for her beautiful and hot appearance and her lyrics where she also talks a lot about sex. Marylin Monroe also has Lillith in the first house, I didn’t need to explain how influential her appearance and sensuality is in the media to this day

• people with Lillith conjunct their first house tend to have sanpaku eyes too, here’s a reference:

• Neptune in the chart shows you the part of life where you have to be more firm with your boundaries and don’t overshare because Neptune indistincts your intuition. For example if you have Neptune in the 11th house don’t force connections or friendships, don’t overshare to your friends and be really firm with your boundaries because you tend to let people cross over the line too much. Also don’t expect all of your friends to have the same intentions as you do, some people just want to use you or dim your light so be careful and stay safe

• The planet your sun is conjunct to can be a part of your life where you feel more confident and you don’t like it when people tell you what to do. For example if your sun is conjunct your venus you tend to make the first move when you like someone and you don’t like it when someone tells you that this person is out of your league or you can’t get them to like you. Ego and love go hand in hand with this aspect

#sirenas astrology observations #astrology #astro observations #astrology notes #astrology content #astrology observations

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lovra974 · 9 months ago

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Dream Match 1

Hi! This story is inspired by the book Perfect Match, the Dragon King by I. T Lucas. I loved the concept of shared dreams. I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to be tagged for the next part just ask!

Warning for the chapter : Bakugou x reader, fight, violence, questions about sex, manipulation (not from bakugou), female Y/N, tell me if I forgot one!

Summary : Being a hero is a very challenging profession. Bakugou knew it but being confronted by journalists and analysts who want him gone is far worse than fighting any villain. He struggles against them, feeling trapped each time he watches his rank drop.

So when his parents decided to get him out of this cycle, they bought him a Dream Match ticket and told him it was a holiday service agency. But the truth is, this agency is a sophisticated matchmaking service that pairs people to have shared dreams.

A lot of things can happen in these dreams. And sometimes, your subconscious clashes fantasy and reality. It blurs until it leaves answers beyond dreams.

A blast made the villain step back. He jumped on a building, his kangaroo’s legs propelled him. He struck Dynamight in the chest and sent the hero flying. Bakugou crashed against a wall. He felt the shock in every bone in his body.

“Dynamight !” Screamed his sidekick. ”You okay ?”

The blond grimaced. His ears were ringing. Blood covered his face and mixed with his sweat. His suit was ripped on his back. He got out of the wall, his members aching. He ignored the pain. He stretched his fingers and breathed out.

“Get ready, Cry-Baby.” spoke the hero while swallowing the suffering.

The sidekick jolted and ran away. His quirk made him control his tears. The guy could pour them out like a river. It was perfect to block Dynamight’s blasts.

Bakugou walked up to the villain. The bad guy jumped a little and smirked.

“Can’t get enough Dynamight?”

“Come here !”

They both moved forward. The villain was fast. His powerful jumps allowed him to dodge the hero’s attacks. Bakugou kept him away but didn’t touch him either. He couldn’t get close enough to end this fight and began to feel frustrated.

The solution appeared with another hero. The earth shook and rock walls pierced the ground. They rose and surrounded the villain.

A voice shouted, “Go Dynamight!”

Bakugou eyed the hero Gem Girl on the top of a building. He nodded. Nitroglycerin ran between his fingers. He raised his arms. His sidekick was ready too and protected the buildings. The explosive hero gave his all in his next shot and aimed at the villain.

“DIE!!!”

…

Bakugou just got back from his battle. The big TV in his office was turned on and played his fight.

“It was time Dynamight showed up! Twenty-five minutes to get help! I would be ashamed… It was their sector. I feel like there is some slaking. We can see it with this fight. If Gem Girl didn’t step in, Dynamight would still be there!”

The blond ground his teeth and turned off the TV. He wished the talking would stop there but it never did. His manager questioned him about the fight to know what she would say to the media. He would rather be fighting more crazy kangaroos than listen to one more hero analyst.

He did his reports, followed diligently his schedule, went on patrols and answered calls from his managers. Photoshoots, calls, patrols, reports, meetings and more reports.

His days began early and ended late. The time between two days of work was just enough to go back home. But most of the time, he slept at his agency. He installed a couch in his office. The thing destroyed his back. But at least, he won a few minutes each day by being already here for any crisis.

But critics never stopped. They questioned his behaviour, his social image, his ranking… He didn’t arrive on time, his quirk was dangerous, his agency communication was shit. Nothing was ever good enough. The journalist always said it was an aberration that he was in the top 10.

For years, he gave his all. Despite the difficult missions, the failures, the impossible rescues… It was too much.

His fans were loyal, they trusted him and always defended him. He was thankful, even if he didn’t say it. But it annoyed him at the same time that they felt obliged to defend him. He didn’t need them. He was a hero, he didn’t need anybody.

He saw Kirishima on patrols or sometimes when he was too restless and went to the gym. It was rare. For the other, it felt like forever since he saw them. The last time must have been for Mina’s birthday. Or when Sero presented them to his new girlfriend? Anyway, it was months ago.

Bakugou was writing a report when his phone buzzed. When he saw who was calling, he hesitated. It was his mother. He could already hear her screams. It had been a long time too since he saw them. He didn’t give much news. And he knew, that if he didn’t respond to her call, she would do much worse than scream through it. Like coming to the agency.

A horror shiver forced him to click on the green phone.

“Finally! The brat just remembered he got parents !”

He exhaled. His mother began a monologue he didn’t listen to. Sometimes he heard his father’s voice trying to calm down his spouse.

“Katsuki !”

“What ?”

“Did you make your appointment?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You ungrateful brat, you’re talking to your mother! Did you use your birthday present ?”

He frowned. His birthday present? Why was she talking about it? He didn’t even remember what it was.

“I swear Katsuki” she menaced, “if you didn’t use your birthday present…”

“What’s the fucking matter?” He shouted.

“You had one year to use it, you dumb hero! I can’t believe it! Can you believe it, Masaru ?”

Bakugo heard his father talking “Maybe he was busy? He reached the top 6 this year…”

“I don’t care! This ticket cost millions of yen!”

“Are you going to tell me what the hell you’re talking about?” He screamed.

His mother breathed out. “You had one year to use your Dream Match ticket. And you, you little ungrateful hero, you didn’t use it! You got one last week to make an appointment before your birthday.”

Bakugou checked his calendar on his desk. Indeed, his birthday was next week. He completely forgot about it. Not that he cared, he didn’t plan to do anything.

Now that he thought about it, he vaguely remembered a peach-coloured envelope his mother gave him last year. Her smile was too big when she gave him this damn envelope. He felt like she was up to something.

“Dream Match?” He repeated.

He shouldn’t have. His mother understood he didn’t open his present. She threw new insults at him, his father had to take the phone out of her hands.

“Katsuki still has time. He just had to make an appointment this week. I’m sure he will.”

Mitsuki made him swear he would make an appointment this week before completely leaving the phone to her husband.

“We know you are busy, Katsuki. But it would please us if you went to the appointment.”

“What is this Dream Match shit? What about the appointment ?”

His father took his time to respond.

“Look at their website. You will have all the answers you're looking for. But let’s say it’s an agency that proposed holiday experiences without leaving the agency.”

“I don’t have time for this…”

“You only need three hours.” Calmed his father. “You don’t really go on a vacation. Promise.”

Bakugou still felt sceptical but he made a promise. His father ended the call a few minutes later. He looked at the clock and sighed. He had another patrol in ten minutes.

~~~~~

“Congratulations Gem Girl !”

“Good job! “

“ You nailed it!”

The hero smiled. She walked through her agency like a conqueror. Her brown boots shined on the floor. Praises kept coming her way.

Nobody seemed to notice the shadow following the hero. Nobody ever saw her.

Gem Girl closed her office door after one last smile to her team. Then she sighed and passed a hand in her blond hair. She turned toward her sidekick and said “ Well done Y/N. Do the report. We had to send it quickly to the Commission. I feel this intervention will make us rank up !”

Y/N sat down at the desk in her dark suit. Her boss went to take a shower while she kept working. Her report stack kept getting taller. Not surprising when she had to do her sidekick's job and her boss’.

Gem Girl formed her agency a few years ago. She reached the top 20 recently. The media said it was because of her dedication and her interesting way of using her earth quirk.

It was also because Gem Girl did a lot of interviews and publicity. It could be surprising for an active hero, however it was very appreciated by her fans.

The truth behind her success was that Gem Girl found a sidekick with almost the same quirk as her. Her sidekick did the mission while Gem Girl pretended to fight under the projectors.

Like today, Y/N had a long-range to perform her quirk. So she could use it from afar while Gem Girl harvested the laurels.

The hero trapped the young and inexperienced student with a contract. Nothing was legal inside. Gem Girl would have everything, her quirk, her talent, her recognition. It left Y/N with pitiful pay, pressure and a lot of culpability.

“If you open your mouth about it, I will destroy every chance you have to ever be a hero. No agency will ever hire you. They wouldn’t even want your sorry ass in a police academy !”

The agency was not helpful, far from it. The ones aware of it made a point to make her remember her place.

“Talk and we will all be jobless. Is that what you want? Are you that selfish? Make peace with it and do your job, girl.”

The contract said she had to work at least five years in this agency. It was good for a first sidekick job. Even more so when you didn’t attend a big school like UA and Shiketsu. But for Y/N the last three years were pure torture.

Her pay was barely enough, she didn’t sleep well and her phantom status made her sick. She did Gem Girl’s work. On patrols with her, she had to walk behind dressed like a civilian. Same for missions.

Gem Girl was smart. She made sure to never expose her trusty sidekick. She was never mentioned on TV, damn Y/N couldn’t write her name on the reports with her hero name! Most people in the agency didn’t know of her existence and she has been there for three years.

The agency had the duty to promote their heroes and sidekicks, to make them gain visibility. But Gem Girl was the boss.

It was her fault, thought Y/N. She should have been more careful when signing. She should have been wary of Mashika Risa aka Gem Girl when she showed interest in her quirk. She should have been less naive. But she jumped on the opportunity, too happy to quit her last job to pursue her dream.

Now she paid for it. She would be free in two years… if Gem Girl ever let her leave.

~~~~~

“Wait, wait… You've possessed a Dream Match ticket since last year, and you haven’t used it yet ?”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. It was one of the rare patrols he was paired with Kirishima. They walked in a quiet street. Some civilians stopped to ask for a picture or an autograph but most didn’t dare. Despite being in the top 10, Bakugou was still too intimidating. His PR team blamed him every week for it.

He preferred it that way, he avoided the insults and scandals at the same time. Kirishima walked by his side, eyes blown wide.

“If you want to get rid of it, I know someone who would be happy to help you.”

“Who?”

“Me!” Screamed his best friend, making heads turn their way.

“Tsk… What’s this Dream Match anyway? My father told me it was a travel agency or something…”

Kirishima pointed to an enormous billboard. The picture wasn’t really explicit. There was a purple cloud armchair in the middle. The background was blurry. And he could read a weird catchphrase at the bottom. Meet your dream partner…

“It’s so much more,” gushed the red hair. “The agency sells shared dreams. You can dream of anything! And bonus, they pair you with the most compatible person with a ticket. They never missed.”

Bakugou stopped himself. He just understood why his mother gave him this stupid ticket. He felt the need in his guts to scream.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!?”

More civilians turned their heads and quickly walked away.

“A matchmaking agency? The old hag lost her damn head! Do I look like I have time for this?”

Red Riot gave him a side glance.

“Well… look like you don’t have time to sleep either. When was the last time you had a day off, man?”

“What do you mean, Shitty Hair?”

“I mean… man, you could have the best night of your life! Peaceful holidays, and phenomenal memories in just three little hours. We both know you need it!”

The blond grumbled something. He knew what Kirishima was about to say.

“You should try it. You don’t have to do more with your match after. You got a good night of sleep, an epic adventure and that’s all !”

Bakugou thought about it. It wasn’t a bad idea. He could use a good night if they were as good as they said.

“How do you know about it? Did it?”

“Man! Sero met his girl with it!”

Bakugou blinked. He met Sero’s girlfriend once but everybody thought the same thing. They were perfect for each other. They were crazy in love and very complimentary. Not too overbearing in some way.

The blond hero would never say it out loud, but he had been disturbed by their complicity. It was like they’d always known each other. Maybe, he felt a little jealous of their bond. But he extinguished it quickly, his dream was to be Number One. Not to find a partner to satisfy his mother’s desires.

Kirishima seemed to feel his hesitation. “You don’t need to speak to your partner after the dream. It can be a one-dream-only thing, you know? Don’t think too much about it, Bakubro.”

“Mmh…” he murmured to acknowledge his friend and nodded.

~~~~~

After her long day, Y/N was completely exhausted. She did patrol after patrol, hers then the ones with Gem Girl. Then she wrote both of their reports. She dragged her feet to her door, all her body was popping from the over-use of her quirk.

Sometimes, she asked herself if it wasn’t better to forget her dream of being a hero. But each time she asked, the answer was always no. Not when she saved people, even if Gem Girl was thanked for it. Not when she saw every morning the drawings of the children saved in the agency hall.

Putting them here may be a strategy. And it was a good damn one!

She opened her door, her eyes half-opened.

“Hello there! Have you seen the time?”

Y/N blinked. The robotic click from Mei Hatsume’s babies followed her everywhere. Her friend with pink hair was spread out on her bed couch. She smiled brightly at her.

“Hatsume…”

“Tsk tsk tsk.” Hatsume cut her. “Do you believe it! I didn’t have any news for months! What kind of friend does this? Right, my babies ?”

The robots beeped for approbation. Mei’s smile became even larger. Y/N sighed but her mouth’s corner quirked up.

“I had to ask Booboo to open your door for me.” said the support engineer. “Seriously I wouldn’t leave a cupboard with that kind of protection Y/N. It was crap !”

Booboo, a little robot with propellers rang. Y/N just stood there, not knowing what to do. She was too tired to react correctly to the scolding. Mei took out a cheap bottle of alcohol from nowhere.

“I have a bottle !”

The two women lay on the bed couch, a glass in hand. Their cheeks became pinker, the drink left a pleasant warmth in their body. Y/N felt her members relax and sink into the mattress. She hummed a song at her long-time friend, happy.

“And then,” continued the engineer, “The director just looked at me with big eyes. Like I was the crazy one and just couldn’t believe what I did! It was so basic by the way. Like come on, of course I could do it. Voop, my baby is so talented !”

Y/N swallowed her drink and said, “ I bet the man left without saying anything.”

“Of course not! What could he do ?”

Y/N straightened, her eyes bright. “Apologise first, then admit he was wrong with you and end it by giving you a raise.”

Mei bursted out laughing.

“If he was someone good, yes that’s what he would do. But we are so far from it. And you, how’s Gem Girl? Did her Highness break her nails this week?”

Mei knew about her friend’s problem. They fought together to find a solution but they found a dead end. The trap kept tightening around Y/N. The more she worked for Gem Girl, the more she was popular, and then influential.

The hero didn’t lie. She could destroy Y/N’s career. The sidekick saw how she talked with workers from the Commission. The people who were supposed to control the heroes’ actions. They would never believe Y/N over Gem Girl, not when the agency was with the hero.

“She wouldn’t risk anything. She is ranked 16, her head is too big to take any risk anymore.”

Mei didn’t laugh. She crossed her arms and her babies flew closer to her. Y/N had stopped singing.

“You should be ranked 16.” spoke her friend gently.

Y/N shrugged. She tried to not think about it.

“You know if you could come to my big presentation by the way ?” “No.”

The sidekick couldn’t lie, she didn’t have the energy to. She would never have the time. She turned toward her friend, her heart sore. ”I’m sorry Mei.”

“They still won’t give you a day off ?”

Mei wasn’t someone who got angry easily. But the situation was truly unfair. Y/N felt numb. Her days off were as rare as acknowledgement. For the three years she worked there, she never had either. They were lucky she never got hurt. What would they do without her?

“All the greatest heroes have days off !” grumbled Mei. ”Look at Deku, Endeavor, Hawks…”

“Right, but there’s a little difference. I’m a sidekick, not a hero.”

“You’re more like a tool rather than a sidekick…”

Y/N missed the time she went out with Mei, drinking and dancing. It felt like forever ago.

“I have something for you.” murmured the engineer.

Her friend gave her a peach-coloured envelope. Mei had a big grin, almost a crazy one. Y/N blinked when she recognized the logo. She wouldn’t have known what she had in her hands if the city wasn’t covered with their publicities. Mashika Risa couldn’t stop talking about it.

A Dream Match ticket.

“Mei…”

“I won it. And I’m offering it to you.”

“Mei I can’t…”

“Oh yes, you can! I’m not taking it back so you better use it !”

“I don’t have time for it, Mei.”

“We always have time to dream.”

The sidekick arched a brow. Using the company’s catchphrase shouldn’t count as an argument. Mei opened her phone to show her Dream Match’s website. She forced her to answer the one hundred and fifty questions to create her account. Then the girls looked at the large choice of dream propositions.

“How am I supposed to choose one? There is so much choice!”

CEO, fighter pilot, futuristic doctor, cursed royals, her eyes couldn’t stop on a picture.

“This is excellent,” exclaimed Mei. “They know marketing, I hope their tech is just as good. But according to the comments, it’s revolutionary.”

Y/N saw a picture with a castle and a dragon in the background. She clicked on it.

“Look! It’s like in the shojo we read in junior high!”

“The what?”

“You know, the Roses’ Ashes! It was about two kingdoms at war for a sacred mountain. The hero was from the West but he was banned !”

Mei watched her friend with her crazy yellow eyes. Maybe it was the alcohol, but her pupils looked blurry. Her babies flew high, sometimes bumping against the ceiling while scanning every inch of Y/N’s apartment. The earth’s quirked girl rolled her eyes.

“The first kiss was during a meteor shower.”

“Yes! I remember! It was a good one I’ll admit.”

“You drooled on the hero’s abs.” Mocked the sidekick.

“And? I can appreciate fine art when I see it!” She retorted, fakely hurt.

Y/N chose this dream. It had been a very long time since she read it. But it has been memorable. Yeah, if she wanted a dream with her supposedly perfect match, it would be a story like this one.

Mei stood up and stretched. “Well, I’m going.”

“You don’t want to stay the night?” Proposed the host, not thrilled to have her friend walking at night.

“No, you need the sleep and I have Dynamight’s new gauntlets to finish before his visit… in three hours.”

Y/N smiled. Mei gave her a wink. Her babies flew by her sides, protectively. The door closed and the sidekick fell asleep.

~~~~~

Bakugou was in his office, writing a new report while drinking coffee. He didn’t like it, he avoided it if he could. But today, he felt absolutely exhausted. So maybe a little couldn’t be so bad.

He made his fingers pop when he finished. His red eyes stared at his computer. His talk with Kirishima never really left his mind. The implication and the promise of rest lived in his thoughts.

Maybe he could just… Look at the website. For a ticket this expensive, they should be good. The blond was surprised when he discovered the website. He expected something shady that would pressure him to pay. It was the opposite. The homepage presented the company, and then their technology. All of this is to propose shared dreams with your dream match.

They showed some of their best sellers scenarios that didn’t look so bad. Crime solving, space travels, festive and romantic settings.

They had something for everyone. The coffee he was drinking seemed to be efficient because he felt very awake now. Without questioning his actions he clicked on the little rectangle to create his account. Once the ticket’s code was registered, he went face to face with a very long quiz.

It was a one hundred-and-fifty-question long quiz. Some were to type, some were boxes to check or even to rate on a scale. Bakugou spent more time than expected on this.

How would your friends describe you in five words?

Which characteristics do you wish your partner possessed?

What are your life goals?

And some much more intimate things that made him blush. If there wasn’t the little talking blop on the corner saying none of this information would be shared, he would never have answered. Knowing one of his closest friends did the quiz, did help. Cellophane had a few scandals during his career. But nothing about his kinks.

When he finally finished the quiz, he could choose his dream. He ended up scrolling the website through the tens of propositions without knowing what he wanted. What did he like? His whole life was about his dream to become the Number One Hero.

He asked himself if there was someone under Dynamight’s mask. He wore it more than his own face after all. This thought froze him with horror for a few seconds. He pushed it aside. Of course, he was someone!

To prove it, he clicked on the first picture that caught his eye. It was one of a dragon and a castle leading to fantasy dreams. Perfect, he thought. A knight story, it was exactly what he needed. There he would have a change of scene.

He thought about one of his favourite shoujo. He didn’t read it recently but the story was memorable. He particularly liked the redemption arc of the hero. The romance, while slow, really made the characters shine and showed how compatible they were.

He took a deep breath, feeling butterflies swirling in his stomach. It has been such a long time since he felt them. Fear followed. It was always behind when he stepped into the romantic field. The rejection, the expectations, the disappointment, the failure and the feeling of never being enough for the other…

He answered a new quiz, way shorter than the first. It was about little details in the dream that needed to be cleared. The blop pops up in the middle of the screen, smiling. It said his request would be processed quickly and they would contact him when they would find his partner.

Bakugou closed the computer, tensed. He thought he would feel relieved after doing it but no. Waiting was not liberating. He kept thinking about his answers, cringing at what he just did.

How many times do you think it is healthy to have sex in a relationship? Type your answer.

[What the hell is this question? I don’t know? As many times as agreed ?]

Maybe he should slow down on the coffee…

125 notes · View notes

waitmyturtles · 1 year ago

Text

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 12 -- WHEN ONLY FRIENDS GOT 2GETHER-ED

TRIGGER WARNING: EVERYONE'S UP FOR CRITICISM HERE, JOJO AND TEAM, FORCEBOOK, FIRSTKHAO, ALL OF THEM. Read at your peril.

Well. Big deep breaths. I spent a lot of time on a show that had been marketed as not-a-BL, that ended as a BL. As a mom with not that much time to spend on watching and writing on dramas that were marketed incorrectly, I am feeling some kinda way (fucking pissed off).

So many people had amazing takes yesterday, on both sides of the aisle, regarding how the show ended (pro-ending here, anti-ending here, here, here, here, here, and here, and my dear friends @neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan did heavy lifting on reblogs yesterday, so stroll on over to their blogs for more).

I want to set up a constellation of points to touch upon before I get into the meat of this post.

1) I referred quite a bit to my review of Theory of Love throughout my watch of Only Friends. In that review, I meditate on how the majority of the general global public judges sex, and casual sex, and people who have sex and/or casual sex. Generally speaking -- even in countries that makes as progressive art on sex and sexuality as Thailand and the United States -- that's a rule of thumb that I can rely on. Sex is judged by the majority of the global public.

2) I hate to say it. I cannot believe this happened. But I was right about monogamy being an ultimate theme in Only Friends. Not just a theme, fam. A theme by which people judged others for having open, casual, and consensual sex. Queer sex. Queer sex that is so very often had outside of the constraints of a monogamous relationship.

There was a reason why that holiday party was populated by couples, except for Boston, and Boston had to grovel to them in apology for their friendship. In Only Friends: monogamy wins, and casual queer sex loses.

3) Unfortunately, in part though an analysis of Cheum inside of last week that I accidentally started (ha), I see that points 1 and 2 come together to have created a fabric and framework of judgement that Only Friends ended on.

The last paragraph in this excellent post by @benkaaoi notes that the assumption by a large portion of the OF fandom that the creative choices that were made to end this series were designed to save the sanctity -- economic and otherwise -- of the shipped pairs of ForceBook and FirstKhao. This rings true to me.

Most of the BL shows that I've watched this year are older shows, through my Old GMMTV Challenge, in which I've been studying the changes over time that GMMTV and other Thai networks, have made towards their editorial choices, attitudes, and risks in producing BLs. I included Only Friends on this syllabus to note the show's impact as a kind of zeitgeist measure of how much heat and literary controversy GMMTV could take in airing increasingly progressive queer media -- even though Only Friends wasn't originally intended to be a BL.

To the theory that Only Friends needed to save the ships... and to another theory that the ships needed to be saved in the most moralistically judgmental way that I could have ever imagined (I was actually blown away by how heavy-handed this messaging was) -- I look to the ending of 2gether.

The majority general reaction to the ending of 2gether from within the existing BL fandom in 2020, was one of guffawed incredulousness. BrightWin/SarawatTine did not kiss in the first season of 2gether. It took Aof Noppharnach to come in to make Still 2gether to indicate that these two young men may have been at least vaguely sexual with each other throughout the course of their fictional relationship.

Yet, 2gether was a massive success. Many theorize it was because 2gether was the first big BL to air during the start of the COVID pandemic, and new BL fans had time to be at home and watch shows. But I posit in my 2gether/Still 2gether review that 2gether was also successful PRECISELY BECAUSE IT LACKED SEX (and by sex here, I mean plain old kissin').

As I stated earlier: sex is judged by the majority of the global public. With BrightWin NOT kissing, new fans who may have been implicitly and/or explicitly turned off by physical depictions of queer love could glom comfortably onto 2gether, and watch a BL without the "threat" of physical depictions of two men expressing their love to each other.

Subsequently, BrightWin gained massive social media followings, 2gether made GMMTV buckets of money, and GMMTV went -- well, hot diggity.

Many of us had impressions of Only Friends as...something else than it ended up being. Early on, Jojo Tichakorn, for instance, cited an early non-GMMTV, non-BL show, Gay OK Bangkok, that he and Aof Noppharnach worked on in 2016 and 2017, as being referential to Only Friends. Gay OK Bangkok centered on a group of queer friends, mostly cisgender men with Jennie Panhan in the mix, as they lived their lives and dated away in Bangkok.

I'll tell ya, GOKB didn't end the way Only Friends did, and I'll get into that more in a bit. I believe @benkaaoi, @lurkingshan, and others are absolutely right that the ultimate moralization on casual sex that this show depicted -- and how Only Friends punished Boston for his casual sex -- was an economic decision designed to reflect on the sanctity of monogamy that shipped couples like ForceBook and FirstKhao can sell back to their fans, fans that may have actually flocked to GMMTV shows from 2gether, and that demand a fantasy of devoted monogamy from both fictional characters and professional actors who are actually only just doing fan service to earn their livings. GMMTV has known for a long time how to make money, and money the network doth has made from Only Friends, and from shipping their ships around the world to service the growing fandom.

Casual sex in fiction, casual sex that breaks up the ships.... fucks that economic shit all up.

GMMTV has taught us our lesson, a lesson that we had already learned from the no-kissing rule of 2gether. Loose lips shall not sink ships at this network. And I think we lost a chance for a big and progressively artistic zeitgeist that GMMTV could have taken risks on, if it had the courage to risk depicting something truly novel.

I want to note quickly another framework that I dug into while I was watching this show. I sent a flare to @lurkingshan before I started watching the episode that I was going to, in part, watch this last episode from my personal Asian lens. I wanted to ask myself, as I was watching this disaster -- is there anything happening here that strikes my heart with fear and doom as an Asian?

Indeed, yes. I didn't expect it, but there was a dialogue on individualism vs. collectivism.

Boston. My dear, sweet Boston. Boston, named after a city so very distant from Bangkok.

Boston was punished by his group of friends because he didn't adhere to the rules of the group. His individualistic actions and preferences -- his preferences to "roll alone," as Nick stated, would not work in the frameworks of either monogamy with Nick and/or the group dynamics of the hostel crew.

The link I linked above is an amazing answer to an inquiry I posed to dear @absolutebl last year about how Asian social collectivist paradigms are depicted in BLs. In that question-and-answer dialogue, I asked ABL Sensei about the motif of queer revelations in BLs, and how seemingly straight characters respond in kind to being approached with a proposition to a queer dalliance and/or relationship. Generally speaking, the Asian collectivist mindset is to at least attempt to respond in kind to those kinds of propositions, as one's behavioral habits are designed to be responsive to others instinctually, as opposed to only servicing oneself. To only service oneself is not only seen as selfish, but also as disturbing to the general flow of public existence among one's societies. To respond in kind means that you will not cause potentially disturbing angst to another individual or group. (Collectivism explains why Asian countries performed much better with mask mandates during the pandemic than we in the States did.)

So -- Boston filming Ray, Boston sleeping with Top, created waves in the friend group. He was so severely punished for it.

And the show iterates, and repeats, Nick's preference that Boston move forward alone in Boston's life, because of Boston's tendencies to make decisions that suit himself. As an Asian-American, I mutter to myself: god forbid.

Nick will not commit to Boston -- and yet, will also condemn Boston for making his own decisions outside of the specter of a monogamy that does not exist between Nick and Boston, and that Boston will still get judged for, as referenced in the Sand/Nick conversation depicted above.

In other words: if Boston makes a decision for himself? That's punishable. Because it might hurt someone else's feelings -- a someone else that actually hasn't committed to Boston, and/or allowed Boston to commit himself to.

This group caught Boston in a moralistic and collectivist catch-22, the likes of which I just would have never expected from Jojo and team, even if the creative team faced the economic pressures of the GMMTV bigwigs. I'm sorry to state that I am beyond disappointed in this condemnation of individualism, sending Boston alone, judged, and friendless, off to New York City to live in, what, the immoral boundaries of Chelsea? Homey, get a fucking SWEET-ASS PAD, and FUCK THESE LOSERS, leave 'em BEHIND in your cloud of airplane gas emissions. See you at the La Quinta rooftop bar on 32nd Street, friendo.

Only Friends could have ended so much better. And I understand that in the Only Friends novel, published AFTER the script was finished, that it did end somewhat better for Boston (cc @jinitak, reporting from Thailand, thank you for this heads-up about the novel!).

So. Any-fucking-way. Do y'all know how Gay OK Bangkok ended?

Of many lovely endings for the various GOKB characters, an older main character, Aof, was dating a much younger character, Big. (CC to @neuroticbookworm for our quick convo on this last night.)

Aof was sex-averse. Big wanted lots of sex. Big slept with a lot of people. He loved Aof. Aof couldn't handle Big having sex with other people, and they broke up. It was a lovingly handled break-up, written just gorgeously by Aof Noppharnach.

After their break-up, I thought Big would disappear from the show. Instead. Instead! Nong Big, the little brother to the core group of queer friends that centered GOKB, was welcomed back with open arms. Arm, Pom, Sathang (played by an effervescent Jennie Panhan), and others toasted to Big, telling him he would always be family, no matter if him and his ex, Aof, had broken up. In the queer circles of friends that I'm a part of, exes are not as commonly excommunicated as they are in straight circles.

Only Friends could have been this. Something, a little something, like this.

Instead, Only Friends punished a friend for acting outside of the rules of their group.

Boston was punished because.... because Only Friends had to end up being a BL. For the sake of the moolah, for the sake of collectivism, for the sake of the shippers who'll buy tickets around the world to see ForceBook and FirstKhao perform fan service on stage.

I just didn't think that the show would be so brutal, on so many levels, in the end, to people who want to have casual sex. I don't think any of us expected this. But, it's over, it's done, and the piece has been said -- GMMTV said, no casual sex today, and here's how we actually feel about it.

I'll see you over on Gagaoolala for Playboyy. Deuces, OF.

(It was an absolute pleasure writing meta with the Ephemerality Squad -- onto the next one! @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @ranchthoughts @twig-tea @slayerkitty @thatgirl4815 @distant-screaming @clara-maybe-ontheroad)

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mywitchcultblr · 1 year ago

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Terf/Conservative-lite bingo

Bingo or signs that someone might be terf/conservative leanings (even if they claimed to hate terf or conservative) if they match a LOT or ALL points below

Hates pansexual people

hates xenogender

kink critical, spending too much goddamn time ranting about people's sexual preference and what consenting adults do, overall being sex negative

hates asexual/aromantic people

Puritan about fanfic/fan art and shipping also they are anti-ao3, spending a lot of time policing fandom

Trying to instigate a fight between bisexual people against pansexual people

Doesn't want the term 'queer' to be reclaimed or used in any way

Dismissing the plight/suffering that trans men endured

Instigating a fight between trans women and trans men

Obsessed with media purity

Exclusionist and trying to divide LGBTQIA+ community

Overusing the term 'biological woman' too much to uplift themselves and to demean trans women, just another way to say "i'm the real woman and you will never be a woman" to trans women

Ranting about how women enjoying yaoi/mlm are homophobic and evil or fetishizing gay men (this mentality is common amongst sexist queer men, terf-men and terf woman) not caring with the fact that media consumption is not always reflect people real morality, also a lot of yaoi enjoyer/fujo are queer themselves

I often see blogs that match all of those specifics points above (from their dni/bio) and yeah they are not pleasant people, its like every goddamn time, its like a pattern

#bingo #lgbtqia+#lgbt #queer #shipping #discourse #fancops #fandom police #trans #tw t*rfs #tw exclusionism #asexual #aromantic #fandom

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lavendermoonlitskies · 11 months ago

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The nature of Aziraphale & Crowley’s relationship (Good Omens)

So I know I have like 30 followers and probably no one gives a shit what I think, but the internet’s the internet and it’s free to post on Tumblr so who cares

I have gone back & forth a bunch on what I think of the “discourse” (if we can even call it that?) surrounding Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship in Good Omens, and I think I’ve settled on something.

I am still very much for the “why does this criticism only seem to come up when the pairing in question is of the same sex (or played by actors of the same sex)” argument against the whole “why can’t they just be friends” criticism that comes up in response to a lot of queer media, however, I can see why it doesn’t necessarily apply here. At least not in the same way.

In the book, and subsequently in season 1, their relationship is entirely up to interpretation. The information we are given at that point about their past can absolutely either be seen as platonic OR the grounds for something more. I don’t think it’s wrong to say you think it’s one way or another. With the way that their relationship works at this point in the story, they have a lovely friendship and if that’s the point where the progression of their relationship ends, that’s all well & good.

However

Moving on to season 2, we get a little more. There are people saying that the romantic element that has been added kind of ruined it, and I would like to respectfully disagree with that. First of all, the surviving author of the original novel is directly involved with the writing, so I have to say I find it kind of hard to say that anything has been ruined when it’s still directly from the mind of one of the people who wrote it. He is writing it with what the two of them had planned originally in mind. (I believe he said at some point that season 2 is a sort of stepping-stone between the original book and the sequel that he and Terry had in mind)

Second of all, the romance didn’t exactly come out of left-field. As I said earlier, you can interpret their relationship in season 1 however you like, but the notion that their relationship may actually be more than just a friendship is an interpretation that was clearly explored in the second season. Neil Gaiman is not one to shy away from queer storytelling, so if that is the direction he wants to take it, that’s where it’s gonna go. It’s 2023, LGBTQ+ representation in media is far less taboo than it used to be, and so he has virtually no reason to filter their relationship into something that he doesn’t actually want it to be as the writer.

If you want my personal opinion, I think that season 2 being “quiet, gentle, and romantic” is foreshadowing for their relationship’s progression season 3, so I can definitely see the romantic undertones that have more or less been there the whole time (of course depending on how you interpret it) being brought out into the limelight. (I know he said that season 3 will most definitely not be those 3 things, but that’s not to say that none of those elements will be showing up at all)

All in all I don’t think it’s wrong or “homophobic” to interpret their relationship however you see it, but in terms of my own theories, I think that if the fact that the (once again quiet, gentle, and romantic) season 2 is a “stepping-stone” between seasons 1 and 3 is true, their friendship is evolving into something more.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #good omens fandom #david tennant #michael sheen #terry pratchett #good omens meta #good omens meta post #good omens theories #lgbtq media

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olderthannetfic · 7 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/749333039047442432/httpsolderthannetfictumblrcompost74884185043?source=share

Sorry, long rant incoming.

Someone in the replies said it, but I think it needs to be said again where everyone can see it: I think a lot of the attitude that anon is somehow secretly pro-censorship because they think certain preferences are skeevy, and strenuously insisting that bad attitudes can NEVER be media's fault.... idk, maybe take it out of the context of debates about sexually explicit/pornographic media for a moment?

There are works of media that had pretty direct effects on activist and political movements, good and bad. Uncle Tom's Cabin inspired a lot of people to fight against slavery. The movie Birth of a Nation, which showed a history of the U.S. with the KKK as heroic, is considered by most historians to be a major contributor to the revival of the KKK in the 1920s. The Nazis used films, books, music, art, and so on in their propaganda, knowing it would help their ideas go down more easily. The Soviets did too. Every dictatorship did. Even democratic countries have done it as well, usually but not always in more subtle ways.

Do none of those count, because "oh, people who were going to be convinced by Birth of a Nation would be racist anyway"? "Good, non-racist people wouldn't be convinced by it"? I mean, the latter is true: there were plenty of people, especially black Americans but plenty of white allies too, who boycotted the film at the time. The NAACP led a boycott. But do you really think NO ONE was convinced? (What about people who previously didn't feel any way about it one way or the other? Were they just innately more evil, even if it might've just been that they weren't aware? Do supposedly progressive people in fandom realize how much this sounds like Christian original sin rhetoric...) And does it matter purely about media fully changing minds, or also how it galvanizes people who already think one way? If it gives them new talking points, new ways of thinking about it and convincing others? If it helps them believe their cause is more important and worth fighting for?

So why does this all suddenly change when we're talking about sex? Is porn really this special class of media where somehow all the rules about how we can both like things and also be critical of how media (fiction, news media, whatever) influences us - "be critical of the media you love," as a tote bag sold by Feminist Frequency said - just stop applying for some reason? Or maybe if something is bypassing your rational brain entirely and going directly for the pleasure centers, there's all the more reason to think critically about what it's saying? Propaganda is designed to bypass all that, too.

Also, if media really has NOTHING to do with it, that just wouldn't explain why it's disproportionately anime that feature these specific elements that seem to attract more people arguing for why it's wrong to be upset by rape or child exploitation in real life. I don't believe that everyone who watches slavery isekai or lolicon approves of those things irl - I think for the vast majority of people, it IS a fantasy and that's the point - but I have noticed that in places like the Anime News Network or Crunchyroll forums, the comments become a cesspool of creepy people arguing for why ages of consent should be lowered and mean feminists who don't like watching media with rape in it just need to get over themselves, in a way they just don't when you're talking about Attack on Titan or My Hero Academia or Shoujo Romance #4891 or whatever.

As another person in the notes said, abusers ARE opportunistic. They'll use something like Twilight as easily as they'll use the most uwu, soft, "non problematic" ship to argue for why they're allowed to abuse you. But I don't think that means we can't be critical (not calling for censorship, of course! but like, writing op-eds and stuff) of media that makes their arguments a little easier, maybe even directly makes their arguments for them.

You can believe both that everyone has the opportunity to read, watch, listen to, play what they want and make up their own minds about it, and that it's wrong for the government to ever decide what media is and isn't "acceptable," and also believe that media often is saying things that aren't apparent on the surface and that you should be critical of those messages, *especially* with the stuff you like.

The point is just that porn isn't like, fundamentally different from other fictional media in this way. (Or, hell, I would argue that fictional media isn't functionally different from other mass media in this way. If anything, fiction's politics are often more insidious in a way that makes it easier for them to reach people who might not otherwise be open to those messages in the form of, say, blatantly right-wing news media.)

It's particularly strange to me when people jump all over someone for expressing how something can be insidiously creepy in a more mundane way. The line people are upset about that used the word "unpack" was just making the point that even if we can agree lolicon isn't outright advocating pedophilia, even if we agree the point is that it's a fantasy and they're not like real children at all and that's what people like, it's still working within an idealization/fetishization of helplessness, innocence, and dependence, and that still has a lot that you can critique from a feminist perspective. It's still a thing that plays into some crappy societal ideas about who women are supposed to be, and is selling that to men as a romantic ideal. There's still a lot we can talk about there! And it's still totally fair for women to be wary of men where that seems to be all they're into - because for some (and I believe this was what anon was initially trying to say was their experience), it does impact how they treat real women. It doesn't have to be everyone for it to have an impact.

There's a lot of anime that presents women that way, even way outside of lolicon. A lot of it's anime I like! I'm still critical of that aspect of it. I still wish that particular part of it were different.

I still don't see how this makes me "pro censorship" unless I believe some kind of institution should mandate that that not be included. And whether that's the government, or the industry itself (people do kind of narrowly focus on "the government" in a way that would make a lot of industry-run censorship that was still very harmful, e.g. the Hollywood Hays Code, not "count"), or anyone, I very much disagree with that. Creators should be able to create what they want. A lot of what creators are doing with this is unconscious, is reflecting societal biases they learned but haven't thought deeply about.... which is precisely the point of critiquing how those show up in a work.

People love to talk about "secretly 'anti' attitudes" but at the end of the day, support or opposition to censorship is pretty straightforward. You believe someone should be stopped from making a particular kind of media, or you don't. If you don't, you're not pro-censorship, no matter how much you personally may not like that that media or a particular aspect of it exists. Most people who care about media have some media they wish didn't exist. It's about what they do about it that makes them pro or anti censorship. Talk to people who donate to or even work for the ACLU or other anti censorship groups; most of them don't like racist or sexist stuff, but they also don't believe it should be banned and that's the point.

Bringing it back to the discussion at hand, I think the point was just that you can't be blind to how power dynamics influence this stuff. I wouldn't even say specifically cishet men are at fault here, since some people who read this blog seem to think that anyone saying that is automatically talking about bioessentialism as opposed to like, societal stuff (don't ask me why, this has been explained on here enough times in enough different discourses over the years, I think). I'd just say anyone with power in that particular context. There's a reason why it's specifically mainstream media, aimed at groups in power, that tends to draw in creeps excusing the real thing... in a way that just similarly is not true of people in fanfiction fandom, who are usually a member of one or more oppressed categories, exploring that in their own marginal work. Fans of rape fanfiction just don't act the way that fans of slavery rape isekai do. It's because there is fundamentally a difference both when you're someone whom society tells you are entitled to everything you want in this particular arena, and also when a work is mainstream, broadening its reach, and speaking a particular message from the lens of people with economic and social power (who are making these mainstream works) and given approval by publishers/media studios/etc. in a way that is not the case with amateur work with tiny audiences. And, frankly, there's a difference between something that eroticizes rape from the point of view of the perpetrator vs. the victim.

Not a difference in terms of how legal it should be. Not a difference in whether every single person who watches it or likes it is bad. But a difference in terms of what it's saying, how it's saying that, and often the effects they have as a result. That, too, is true with every topic, not just sex.

I feel like a lot of people getting mad at these do fundamentally agree with this, but just have a weird blind spot when it's put in any sort of terminology that reminds them of certain bad arguments they've seen in fandom, uses any words that can be dismissed as "radfem" or "anti" or whatever, and so just refuse to engage with the actual meat of what is being said.

If you do actually believe though that it's wrong to EVER think media can have a negative effect on what people believe about irl issues, because there was always something "already there" that was going to "come out anyway" if it affects you that way (again, people: this is "original sin" rhetoric), and if you ever privately judge people for the media they like you're secretly pro-censorship. You do have to recognzie that both you personally come up short and also most peopel doing real concrete real world things to fight censorship would also come up short!

I think sometimes of an editorial that said "if you love Return of the Jedi but hated the Ewoks you understand feminist criticism" in terms of how you can be bothered by the sexism of a piece of media in a way you'd be bothered by any one individual element of it, and still overall like the whole. And also, you can be offended by something, even wish it didn't exist (don't we as nerds all have entries in some franchise we like or another that we wish didn't exist for fannish reasons?), without believing that it should be officially made to stop existing or have never existed in the first place. That last part does actaully matter as like, its own thing. It is in fact separable from just being able to have personal judgey feelings about media and about the people who liked it.

And opposing it does not mean in any way that we have to just stop thinking critically about the media we love, or that we have to act like media can never have any influence on people. We on the left tend to talk about sexism, racism, homophoia and so on as being influenced by culture and society. Well, guess what is part of society and culture? Fictional (and other kinds of) media. That's part of that societal programming we get. It's why you'll see some of it even from people whose parents very much tried to resist teaching them certain things, because they get it from media anyway. I was raised by strenuously feminist parents: it was the media that taught me what gender roles were and how I was expected to adhere to them.

Look, I realize it's a bit rich of me to say this, but people are not going to engage with your actual points if you cannot be more succinct.

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