#but PLS I really wouldn’t mind if someone involved could help me forget

[giannaln4]

Do You Miss Me?

lando norris x fem reader

summary: Four months after your breakup, Lando needs to know if you miss him as much as he misses you, or at least if you still think about him, even if the answer might kill him.  (3k words)

warnings: angst, breakup, cursing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of one-night stands, use of Y/N, happy ending

a/n: FINALLY i wrote some angst. honestly i had this idea in mind sometime last week, but i didn't know where to start. not gonna lie, i really do like how it turned out but i never know how to end fics so it sucks a little towards the end. anyway pls let me know what you think!! feedback is very much appreciated 🫶🏻

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Four months. It had been four months of pure agony. Four months since you left him, and for four months, he couldn’t think of anything else than you. 

You wouldn’t say you ended on good terms, considering the last conversation you had was more of an argument about how little you thought he cared about your relationship. 

That was far from the truth, and he tried so hard to convince you otherwise, but clearly it wasn’t enough. You broke up with him that night, leaving his apartment immediately after and never looked back, leaving a broken Lando behind. Two amazing years beside you down the drain just like that. Maybe he should tried harder.

He really shouldn’t have waited till the last second to express how much he cared, and you would probably never know that, but he still does. 

After the first month, he started to give up. You wanted nothing to do with him, and honestly, he didn’t blame you, so when he realised he would never be able to fix it, he stopped trying, but that doesn’t mean he stopped loving you. 

He still remembers vividly when he got back home after a race weekend and went out for a drive, something he thought could help him get his mind off many things that were going on. It worked, at first, it was going great, really, the fresh Monaco air running through his hair as the music blasted through the speakers, Lando singing at the top of his lungs every single word, until he paid attention to the passenger seat and spotted a shiny little tube. He reached for it, and his world went back down when he realised what it was. Your lipgloss. Not any lipgloss, but your favourite one. The one you used to wear every single day and the one he got so used to tasting and smelling. 

After that, it was like something shifted inside him. Lando tried hard to forget about you, going to parties, and getting involved with anyone he could take back to his hotel. He never took anyone back to his apartment, the space contained too many happy memories of the two of you; it was almost sacred to him. He would never dare to stain those with one-night stands. 

Every time he sat on the couch where he watched you leave, for some reason he waited for you to come back. It was stupid; he knew that, but maybe one day you would. And if it wasn’t you, he prayed that at least it was someone just like you. 

Maybe that’s what he was looking for every other night. Sometimes they were good enough to make him forget, but most of the time, they weren’t. They weren’t even close to that, because he thought about your lips when he kissed someone else, he thought about your hands when he felt his hair being pulled softly, he thought about your legs when he had someone else’s wrapped around him, he thought about your eyes when he looked at anyone else. 

Just when he thinks he’s getting over you, something happens that pulls him back in, and he thinks it’s slowly killing him inside. 

Tonight was one of those nights. He was at the club with some of his mates, his mind fully enjoying his surroundings, not a trace of you up there, until that song started playing, that stupid song that you used to hum when cooking a meal for the both of you, his mind bringing him back to all those times he hugged you from behind as he watched you and helped you, humming along with you and planting soft kisses every now and then. Or when you were taking a shower and didn’t care to keep it down, and he would just enjoy the little concert while he laid on your shared bed, waiting for you to come back to him. Or when you played it in repeat every time you were in the car, messing up a few words even though you had heard it a million times. God, he hated that he got a little sick of it back then.

He stopped moving immediately, and instead, he looked around him, only to spot everyone else dancing along with the melody. 

Did no one else care about what that song meant? Did no one else think of you? 

But there was one main topic invading his mind. Did you also think of him when you heard that song? Did you remember all the little moments? Do you even think of him anymore? There was only one way to find out, and even though he promised he wouldn’t do it anymore, he just needed to know. 

Lando took his phone out of his pocket and started walking away from his group, already looking up your contact. 

“Hey mate, where are you going?” Max stopped him, catching a glimpse of what was on his screen. 

“I just need to step outside for a moment.”

Max looked at him in doubt. He knew how stubborn Lando was when it came to you, so no matter how hard he tried to convince him, there was no stopping him. “Alright, just don’t do anything stupid.”

Lando nodded, not really caring what he thought, and kept moving until he finally found a way out of the loud club. He clicked on your contact without even thinking, nervousness washing over him when it started to ring. He waited, and waited, and waited, until it went to voicemail. 

He was not surprised; it has been like that for a while anyway, but he couldn’t deny he was a little hurt. 

Once the beep ended, he cleared his throat, ready to utter all those questions that he had been dying to know, but he didn’t even know where to start. You hadn’t talked in so long, how was he supposed to ask such things?

“Y/N, it’s me, uh- sorry, I know it’s late and you’re probably sleeping right now, or you just saw my name and didn’t feel like picking up, which I get, I don’t expect you to… you know… anyway, uh-“ 

He has no idea where he was going with this, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t think of segue that made sense. What he truly wanted to ask doesn’t make sense either. 

“I know that you probably don’t want to see me again- I don’t know but, uh- I wanted to tell you that… you left your lipgloss in my car- and I was wondering if maybe you wanted it back, I could stop by one of these nights.” He cleared his throat again, mentally cursing himself at how stupid and desperate he sounded. “Anyway, please call me. Bye.” 

He hung up and went back to his car, looking for the lipgloss once again and putting it safely in his pocket before making his way back home. 

Even with alcohol in his system, it was hard for Lando to go to sleep. If he couldn’t ask you over the phone, how could he possibly stand before you and say all those things?

In reality, it was simple. He had nothing to lose if he had already lost you, and who knows, maybe you never stopped loving him either.

The last thing he wanted was to get his hopes up. He wanted to see you come back to him, but seeing you again would be enough.

⋆｡° ✮ ⋆｡° ✮ 

The next morning, you stared at your phone screen for a little too long, debating whether you should listen to his voicemail or just ignore it. 

You wanted to hear it so bad, but it took you so long to forget about him that you knew you probably shouldn’t. Not that you ever forgot about him completely, no, but just enough to go on with your life and pretend to be fine. 

Curiosity got the best of you, and before you knew it, you were listening to it. You could tell he had been drinking, the alcohol influence was notorious in his voice, and he sounded unsure of what he was telling you. However, you knew he was telling the truth. You did leave your lipgloss in his car, but there had to be another reason for his call, right?

The day went by and you didn’t get back to him, but his voice and words lingered in your mind all the time, and at this point, you had convinced yourself that he had an ulterior motive; why else would he call you at 3 AM, drunk, telling you about something you left in his car months ago?

You would be lying if you said you were never close to giving him a call while being drunk, but your friends never let you do something so stupid, telling you to remember why you left him in the first place, but sometimes you wonder just that: why?

It wasn’t because you didn’t love him anymore; you did, even now, but the heat of the moment made you utter those words without you realising it until it was too late. 

Your pride would never let you take it back anyway, so you just left his apartment after packing your stuff, with Lando following every turn you made as he begged for you to listen. Sometimes you wondered what would have happened if you never broke up with him, and instead, you listened to what he was telling you; they weren’t excuses, you know he meant every word, and maybe you should’ve given him one more chance.

You weren’t sure why, but your mind decided you should see him. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but god, he had been living in your mind more than usual, and you needed to know if he truly just wanted to give you your lipgloss, and if not, what were the reasons he had, so you texted him the next morning.

⋆｡° ✮ ⋆｡° ✮ 

His heart nearly stopped when he saw your name pop up on his screen. Five simple words that could change everything. Or at least he hoped so. 

‘You can stop by tonight’ is what the message read, and he immediately started to get nervous. 

After not getting a response from you the first day, he pretty much gave up and figured you were done with him and would never see you again. He thought you either didn’t buy his dumb excuse or didn’t care to even listen to his voicemail. But there he was, on his way to see you after four long months. 

Lando parked outside your apartment, taking a deep breath and rehearsing what he’s been meaning to ask you, his heart pounding with every step he took as he walked towards your door. 

He kept your lipgloss in his pocket, like he had been doing for the last couple of days, and knocked on your door, a little unsure of how tonight would turn out. 

The door slowly opened before him, and there you were, standing in front of him as beautiful as always. 

“Hi,” he said nervously as he tried to give you a smile. 

“Hi. You can come in.” You stepped to the side, almost melting at how his delicious scent invaded your nostrils as he walked past you and into your apartment.

“Thanks.” He looked around and he felt… weird; it was all so familiar yet so strange. That used to be your apartment before you moved in with him, and the memory of all those nights he would stay over came back in a rush. “Love what you’ve done with the place.”

“Thank you.”

“I see you finally got that lamp,” he said, your eyes following his and finding the green lamp that rested on your console, one that you had been wanting for a while when you still lived with him, but he was never a big fan of it, saying the colour didn’t really match with the rest of his apartment. 

“Yeah. I know you always thought the colour was hard to match, but I like it.”

“Right. It looks good,” he said, his eyes finding yours again. “You look good.”

You didn’t know what to say; you wanted to say it back, but something in you didn’t let you, so you just nodded and tried to utter a little ‘thank you’, but you weren’t sure he heard it. 

“Anyway, uh- I have your lipgloss. I know it’s your favourite one, so I thought I should give it back.” He took it out of his pocket and placed it in your hand. Somehow, it was hard to let it go; it was almost as if he was giving up the last piece of you. he had, apart from the memories.

“Thanks,” you said as you took it, your hand brushing his for a split second. You locked eyes with him, waiting for him to say something else, but he didn’t. Instead, his gaze dropped to his now empty hands. “Is that really why you are here?”

He thought about it for a moment. No, there were a million reasons he was standing before you right now. He shook his head and took another deep breath, getting ready to finally let it all out. 

“I miss you,” he looked at you again and saw your intention to say something, probably to stop him from going back to that topic, so he decided to interrupt you. “I know- I know we’ve been over this a million times, and a million times you have given me reasons why it can’t happen, why we can’t happen, but Y/N, for four months I’ve done nothing but miss you and regret how stupid I was for letting you go.” 

Unsure of how you would react, he took a step closer to you and tried to hold your hand, almost letting out a sigh of relief when you didn’t pull away. 

“I just need to know, do you miss me? Do you ever think about me, about us?”

You could feel the tears threatening to leave your eyes. You wanted nothing more than to say yes and kiss him, but after how things ended between the two of you, you didn’t know if that was a good idea. 

“You have no idea how much I wish I could go back and make it right, love you the way you deserve, and show it like I was supposed to. Maybe our time is over, and even if you think it’s better to say goodbye, please don’t say goodbye.”

He finally stopped and waited for you to say something. The seconds felt like hours, and it seemed impossible to read your face.

“I’m sorry, Lan.”

“Please,” he begged, standing even closer to you. “Please, baby. How can I live without you now that I know what your love feels like, what loving you feels like, and how terrible it is to live without you?” Locking eyes with you, he decided to ask you one more time “Do you miss me?”

His teary gaze was intense, almost suffocating, and you couldn’t keep it together any longer. You nodded as your tears started falling down your face, squeezing his big hand back. “But I don’t know if it’s gonna work.”

“Yes it will, I will make sure of that. Everything I did wrong the first time, it won’t happen again. I promise.”

“But what if it doesn’t? I can’t go through another breakup. Not with you.” Not that he did terrible things, his job was getting in the way of your relationship and you just wished he made an effort to make sure you never felt neglected, but right now, all you could think about was how bad it got for you when you just broke up with him. It was hard to do everything, and you didn’t know you could handle it again.

Lando, on the other hand, was sure it would all work out this time if you just gave him one more chance. He was not letting you go, not again.

“I know it’s too much to ask, but please, just give me one more chance. I won’t let it go to waste; I’ll use it so I can spend the rest of my life with you, just like we planned.” Maybe that’s all you needed to hear. You believed him, but you were somehow scared to give in. “I will never hurt you again, I promise.”

“Okay,” you said, barely above a whisper, so he wasn’t completely sure if he had heard you right.

“Okay?” He waited for you to either break his heart again or to make him the happiest man alive.

“Yes,” was all you said, leaving all your pride and insecurities behind as you hugged him as tight as you could, almost as if you were making up for all those times you needed his touch but didn’t have it.

Lando had more tears in his eyes than before, but they were happy tears now. “Come back, baby, you can bring that lamp.” You let out a genuine laugh for the first time in a while, enjoying the way he was embracing you.

He pulled away and looked at you, as lovingly as always. He couldn’t believe you were his again. Putting a strand of hair behind your ear, he was begging with his eyes to kiss you again.

It probably had to be you to make the move this time, you thought, since he was the one that had the courage to do what you didn’t. So you did, you closed the gap between you and finally tasted his lips again. It was long and full of love, the kiss transmitting what the words couldn’t.

“I love you,” he whispered as he pulled away, with his forehead resting against yours as he caressed all of you.

[willowbleedsonpaper]

Hello, lovely! I am here again thank you for your comments. They make my day a hundred percent better.

Weather reflecting mood 🤝 you and me.

It might be the most basic tool in writing but it never gets old and it always sets the scene. It's a must for me.

With all this Regulus angst, I found comfort in writing the marauders interacting with the reader. It was and still is my safe space while getting emotional writing done. I do hope you enjoy them in future episodes.

I am loving these interactions while reading alongside you this story. Thank you again, and sending you good vibes. ✨🖤

Winter In The Shade XVIII

Part XVIII

Sirius Black x Ravenclaw Reader

W.C. : 3379

Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?

Warnings: A little angsty, mentions of blood purity.

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Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Clouds moved like the flowy fabric of the skirts of a thousand dancers in the sky, you could almost picture the routine they followed. One step to the right, placing one foot behind the other in two steps to raise their leg as high as their body allowed them to then twirl in their spot to end the scene. The trees were the instruments that played the music for the sky dancers, moving in sync with them until the sky turned grey completely.

Your elbow moved to the rest over your knee, placing your head on top of your fist with the slight tilt of your head. It was doomed to be a cloudy day, the rain threatening to start falling down over you sooner than you would like. It had been a rather beautiful day until you had come out of the castle, not giving it a second thought as to the reason why it had turned so gloomy. Since you were a child you had believed you had power over the weather, no doubt your own mood had reflected itself on the sky as soon as you left the walls of the castle behind.

With a low breath out, your hand reached for the book you carried inside your bag, getting it open on the place you had placed one of your pressed flowers. Parchment and ink followed soon after as you started reading, lazy writing of whatever ideas you thought important for your assignments. Paragraph after paragraph of information turned in one chapter of the book, placing your quill down to go over what you had written one last time before putting it away. You didn’t hear the low ruffle of grass behind you.

“I thought I’d found you here.”

You perked your head up from your notes, turning with a small smile. “A true detective.” you said, moving your things to make space next to you.

Sirius smiled, sitting with his legs stretched out “What can I say? I’m more than just a pretty face.” he said proudly, throwing his head back with a dramatic flip of his hair.

You snorted at that, taking one glance at his over the top confidence. You shook your head and pushed his shoulder with little force.

He chuckled lightly, opening his eyes and straightening his posture. He moved his legs to sit criss crossed, looking carefully over you. “What are you doing?” he asked, reaching his arm over you and taking your book in his hand “History of magic.” he read, a look of disgust on his face when he returned it to you. “Well, I can’t help with that one.”

You took the book back, putting it inside your bag as you stuck your tongue in his direction “I don’t need help.” you told him “Just doing some reading to make sure I have all the correct facts.”

He hummed, grabbing your hand and lifting it in the air. He took it closer to his face, playing with your fingers as you watched him, the ideas running across his eyes. “It’s almost time for dinner.” he said, his eyes finding yours. He suddenly got up to his feet, never letting go of your hand as he held it in his stance “And unless you want a late shower I’ll advise we get going.” he tugged your hand, helping you up as you both looked at the sky. It was getting windier, the feeling of a breeze hitting your face.

He guided you out of your hideout, throwing your bag over his shoulder as his other hand held onto yours.

Your eyes wandered over the familiar grey sky, looking for the sun you had been able to see when you got outside. “How long was I outside?” you asked him, turning slowly to him.

He glanced at you, eyes drifting to the front as he shrugged his shoulders “A couple of hours.” he said, voice carefree.

With a nod, you lowered your head. It felt like an eternity.

“Hey,” he called with a squeeze on your hand “You need help with herbology, right? Maybe we can ask Mary for help, she’s good.” he said, his eyes widening as he turned his face to you “Better yet, let’s ask Alice. She could give the class if they’d let her.”

You laughed under your breath, nothing but a flutter in your heart at Sirius’ attempts to keep your head busy and to cheer you up. The only genuine smiles that had appeared on your face the last couple of days had been drawn by none other than Sirius. He refused to let your head wander for too long, spending every chance he had with you. You were thankful for that, for him, but you still appreciated the silent moments where you could reflect on what had happened. How your life had turned in a matter of minutes, by the force of one single conversation where you suspected Regulus had been honest for the first time since you met him.

You still hoped for the moment you would wake up from this bad dream.

“Y/N.”

Wide eyes turned to the call of your name, Sirius looking down at you with a knowing smile.

“I was telling you that you could sit with us if you don’t want to be at your table.” he offered “It’s only at breakfast you have to be at your table, and only on weekdays. I’m just saying that you could be the cool girl who sits at the Gryffindor table.” he wiggled his eyebrows, letting you go first on the narrowed stairs that led to the castle.

“I’m already the cool girl, thank you.” you said, satisfaction written over your features “I don’t need you for being the cool girl.”

“Ouch.” he said out loud, following you just a couple of steps down from where you walked, “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.” he said, swatting the words as if they were floating on the air, “ Just imagine how much cooler you’ll be.”

You turned to him with a questioning look, but said nothing about it. “Félix sits with me during meals.” you told him as he took his place at your side again “He doesn’t have lots of friends.” you whispered as if he could be near to hear you.

“Hm, just like Moony.” Sirius added, smiling tightly when you turned to him in confusion “Remus.” he corrected himself, “You could bring him too, he already is Remus’ shadow.”

You shook your head “Maybe another day.”

Sirius nodded, leaving the offer out for you to take as he suspected you had other reasons to refuse him. He knew better than to push you.

*******

Your eyes fluttered open with the faintest sound coming from the common room. You stared at the ceiling of your bed, the deep blue color almost hypnotizing as your eyes didn’t move from it for minutes. In the end you decided it was time to get out of bed, moving the covers from your body and sitting on your bed.

The rest of the beds from your roommates were already empty, no trace of them anywhere as your feet touched the cold floor. You dragged yourself to the bathroom and got ready for the day.

Face washed and robes on, you were on your way out. The stairs were empty and when you got to the couches and empty tables you realized it was probably late. You really didn’t care, the more you could avoid being in the same room as him the better. Walking out of the door, the empty space in your heart echoed louder than before when you stood on the empty stairs, waiting for someone you knew will no longer be there to wait for you in the mornings. You took a shaky breath in, looking around for anything that could bring you some kind of comfort. Nothing worked. So you bit the inside of your cheek and started to walk down the stairs, making slow work on getting to the Great Hall.

Félix was waiting for you with a smile on his face. He had saved you a space across from him, moving the pile of papers he carried with him for you to sit. He seemed cheerful, almost excited.

“I hope you didn’t have coffee.” you said with the raise of your eyebrow, voice raspy as it was the first time you spoke. Your voice felt foreign to yourself, making you doubt your next words, Félix taking the lead in the conversation quickly.

“Not much,” he rushed to say, placing his palms down on the table as he leaned in your direction “Guess what?” he asked, nodding his head eagerly.

You looked up in thought, grabbing an apple and throwing it inside your bag “Tell me.”

“You have to guess.” he said back.

You shook your head, letting air out through your mouth “Did you find those bowtruckles you were looking for?” you asked, he shook his head “Your project, you nailed it.”

“Nope.”

“Well tell me, I don’t read minds.” you said.

He easily gave in, not putting up much of a fight anymore “Sirius said we could sit with them during dinner.” he explained, your eyes widening as you glanced briefly over his shoulder and to the gryffindor table.

“Did he?” you asked, meeting his gaze across the room. His innocent smile as he watched Félix practically bouncing on his seat enough to tell he knew exactly what he did. “He told you that?” you asked Félix with a knowing smile.

“Well,” he thought before he answered “Remus told me, but Sirius said I should tell you too. You’re welcome, by the way.” he said smugly.

“For what?” you asked in a gasp.

“Now you get to sit with the boy you fancy during dinner and it’s all thanks to me.”

Your mouth was open in a perfect circle, staring with shock at the boy in front of you. If only he knew it was him who should be thanking you.

Sirius wasn’t the boy you fancied anymore. You weren’t certain what Sirius Black was to you and it brought down a wave of panic you hadn’t realized was hovering over your head. Nothing had changed, not really. But you couldn’t say you were just friends after he asked to kiss you and you didn’t even think twice about it before you pulled him to you. You hadn’t had the chance to even think about it.

“Yeah.” you mumbled “Thanks Félix.”

******

All day you had felt like the halls of Hogwarts were truly hunted. Eyes on your back every way you turned as low whispers followed your every breath and move.

You had been successful in avoiding Regulus for the day, sitting the farthest away from him and always in the company of one of the few people in the class you could call a friend. You got to class at the very last minute not to be late and were always the first one to leave the classroom. you were sure they must think you were paranoid, running from class to class with barely a word out, always keeping to yourself and not once stopping to wait for your best friend.

Rumors apparently fly at Hogwarts.

It was your last class, you had been able to finally relax as the rest of the day you could be anywhere else that he wasn’t. You felt your muscles let go of the tension as you focused on class.

Once the teacher dismissed you, you made your way through the longer path to the courtyard, the emptiest corridors where you could just let go. Or you thought.

A group of students wearing red was making their way opposite to you, their lively chatter going down as the one talking made eye contact with you. Her smile widened as she turned to her friends with a hushed tone, all eyes falling on you as they smiled.

You didn’t stay long to find out what they were talking about, hurrying your steps to get out of there. It didn’t make a difference once you got to the library. Every step you took meant another pair of eyes looking in your direction, a mix of disgust and pride in their glances as you ran your fingers over the spines of the books and fought the urge to snap at them. You did your best to ignore them.

Until you listened closely.

You had taken a seat at the table closest to the sunlight, a couple sitting just a few chairs to your left.

The boy followed the trail of her eyes and frowned. It was the first time he ever saw you. “What is it?” he asked.

“Hey, what about this as an introduction.” the boy said, turning his parchment to the girl. “Liz?” he called when she didn’t answer. You got curious, glancing in her direction, not expecting to meet her eyes as she snapped her gaze away from you. You shifted in your seat but said nothing.

She turned to him, leaning in “Didn’t you hear?” she asked him, cocking her head in your direction “Someone finally chose the better Black brother.”

Your body turned to stone, eyes blank as you stared at her before drifting back inside of your head. You didn’t stay there to hear what else they had to say, hurriedly grabbing your bag and fleeing the library.

You rushed through the halls without a care of where you were going, turning your body to avoid clashing against other people. It became overwhelming, every word, every whisper felt directed at you.

It didn’t take long for the outspoken to find you. “But if it isn’t the little ravenclaw that finally woke up.” he cheered, raising his arms in the air as if it was a reason for celebration.

You stop dead in your tracks, slowly turning to him. You felt the rush of blood through your veins, the panic you felt at first melting away with the boiling of your blood.

“You finally saw that slytherin boy for what he truly is. Sirius surely opened your eyes.” he said with a smirk, elbowing his friends in laughter.

“What did you say?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper. You moved slowly towards him, the hard feeling of your wand inside the pocket of your robe making the tip of your fingers tingle.

“C’mon.” he said, elongating the word “The snake finally revealed itself, didn’t he?”

Your hands closed into fists as you let go of your wand “That’s it.” you growled, marching towards them as your fist connected with the right side of his jaw.

Time seemed to slow down around you, his friend’s eyes widened in shock as he brought his hand to the side of his face, anger flashing on his eyes as he turned to face you. You were already moving on him again, your right fist in the air as a strong pull from your waist and a hand around your wrist started time again.

“Woah woah woah.” said the voice from your back, putting you down facing opposite to them as he turned again. “Easy little bird.” he said to you, as you spun on your place, angrily glaring up. You frowned in confusion as he held you and the other boy back.

“You’re friend there has moves, Potter.” he grunted, eyes grounded on you as you stared at James from your spot behind him.

“I know.” he admitted with a smile, not even in the middle of breaking up a fight could he take things seriously “What can I say? She’s a Gryffindor at heart.” he said, glancing at you warningly before he turned with ease at the rest of the boys “What- uh, what did you say to her, Gideon?” he asked, and you fought his hold that only eased a little.

Gideon ran his thumb over his lower lip, looking down at it and scoffing with humor behind it “Just congratulating her for finally seeing the younger Black was not it for her.”

James’ face fell for a second, glancing cautiously at you before he smiled tightly “Yeah.” he mumbled, finally letting go of you “She’s clever too. C’mon little bird, we got that thing waiting for us, huh?”

You only stared at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Potter.” said Gideon once James seemed ready to leave, “Look out for your friend, not everyone would be so willing to back up from a fight.”

James smirk returned to his face, raising his eyebrows “You let them know to leave her alone. She can fend for herself but Sirius and the rest of us won’t be so pleased if she shows up upset, you know? A dungbomb or two might get lost inside someone's bag.”

He raised his hands in defense “You said it.”

James turned in his spot, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he led you through the castle. He took turns and passageways you have never seen, the stairs once up and then down again before you gave up and just followed reluctantly. You didn't know how you ended up outside the castle just behind the greenhouse.

Your feet sunk a little on the tall grass, shoes leaving a trail of footprints as you realized someone had already walked this way before you.

“James?” you heard, lifting your head to find the brightest smile looking at him and down at you, the confusion clear in her eyes as her shine never faded “And Y/N.” she added, making your senses perk up as you had a hard time pin pointing her name.

“Hello Evans.” he greeted smugly, letting go of you as he swiftly placed a kiss on her cheek.

You just stood there, finally dawning on you. Red hair, bright green eyes and the kindest smile. Evans. Lily Evans.

“Are you alright?” she asked, taking a step towards you as she pointed to the grip you had on your hand, your knuckles starting to look a light shade of red.

“Little bird here was about to pick up a fight with Gideon.” James told her, leaning on the wall as he watched Lily take over.

“Gideon?” She laughed in surprise, and you nodded even if you didn’t know what they meant. “Remind me not to make you mad.” she told you, grabbing her bag from the ground as she handed you a small container “It’s pomade, for your hand.”

“Thank you.” you told her, sitting on the small bench there as they talked to each other. You already felt awkward being there, you didn’t need to intrude in what you assumed was their time alone.

You were more shocked when he talked to you again “You shouldn’t go around picking fights like that.”

You smiled humorlessly “You’re one to tell.” you said, making Lily snort on his side as he mockingly smiled back.

“He’s a fifth year, you’re a third year. He’s double your size, not very smart from you.” he pointed out “And why throw fists?” he asked confused, “I saw your wand, you had a better chance that way.”

“She has been around Sirius for too long.” Lily said with a smile.

“The punishment is worse for attacking a student with magic than punching them in the face.” you said, and James turned to Lily as if to check, her green eyes wide.

“Merlin, she is right.” she mumbled to James, and he nodded satisfactorily.

“Noted.” he said, looking back at you “Still, you shouldn’t be starting fights, much less because of him.”

Your eyes immediately turned to him, suddenly feeling exposed. You pressed your lips in a line, keeping in the sigh that in the end escaped you “I know.”

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you but people can get the wrong idea.” he said, the words that Malfoy had said to you that night brought back to the surface of your head. He was right, though. Fighting Gryffindors because they insult Regulus can give the wrong idea now that Hogwarts knew who he was spending his time with. And yet you didn’t care, you had it in you to defend Regulus even if it brought you down.

You rubbed your eyes, a groan leaving your lips as you hugged your legs “He’s my best friend.” you mumbled against your knees, pressing your eyes closed “Used to be.” you corrected, hiding your face in between your knees.

“You did what was right.” Lily said suddenly, a seriousness to his voice that overtook his kindness “You’re defending your own beliefs, yourself. There’s nothing more important.”

You and James looked at her, two different looks conveying the same feeling. Trust.

*******

You left them be with the promise to see them at dinner. Lily’s words brought a little rest to your soul. Even if you would do anything for Regulus and you cared for him like no one you had ever known, distance was a necessity. You couldn’t put the blame on you.

“Look who’s finally here.” James cheered as he saw you approach. You gave him a smile, waving at everyone until you reached an empty space.

“I have been looking for you everywhere.” you told Féli with a smile.

He just shrugged “You said see you at dinner.”

You rolled your eyes, ruffling his hair as he shook his head. Then you turned to Sirius who had a smile on his face.

“Not so bad, is it?” he said, taking a sip of his glass, looking at you through the brim of it.

“I’m just glad you’re here.” you mumbled, his face turning at the sound of your voice. He placed his glass down, looking around before he asked “Bad day?”

“Awful existence.” you groaned, letting your head fall softly on the table.

He finally chuckled, “Look who’s joking.”

You lifted your head, a barely there smile on your face as you started to fill your plate with dinner. Even surrounded by friends, with Sirius there and trying to just relax for the time being, you could feel the back whispers and the lingering eyes that dropped to you the moment someone passed by. It wasn’t helping the known pang of guilt you felt every time you found Sirius eased your pain, the throb of your heart stopped for a moment when he brushed his hand against your or he winked in your direction.

You allowed yourself to look past the students and to the usual spot of the Slytherin table where you knew you could find him, only for your stomach to drop. He wasn’t there.

TAGS

Skittles

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Winter in the Shade

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Sirius Black

@funravenclaw2002 / @blackst0nes7077 / @just-wordsandthoughts / @bhavanaa /

[scarletwidowsbaby]

Don’t Knock It Till You Try It

Summary: A girls day and night might just push you in the right direction.

Pairing: Natasha x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Suddenly abusive relationship, toxic lover, Nat is your safety net, sexual suggestion. 

A/N - My first fic! Pls tell me if it’s good :)

*gif credits to owner*

After another restless night of arguing with your boyfriend, you woke up to a flurry of messages from your best friend, Natasha Romanoff. Before the Snap occurred, she had found you trying to help trapped civilians in a fire using your teleportation, but she managed to catch you as you fell unconscious out of a window. 

Since then, you weren’t quite sure what to make of her. She had her lows, as did you, and it only helped you see her as human as yourself. However, when you went out together, you watched her flirtation skills show off as she always ended up with a girl to take home, sometimes even two.

And sometimes, a tiny little voice in the back of your head wished she would take you home. 

But when that voice came, so did another. Your boyfriend, Jake, who really was a sweet guy… except for when he was drunk. Or angry. Or hungry, tired, and any number of the infinite reasons he used to spout out hate at you.

“Y/N, why don’t you ever dress like these girls? You’d look so much hotter.”

“Oh, Y/N, I’m going out with some workmates. Wanna come? …Of course you’re not coming. You just lay around here all day whilst I go pay our rent.” 

He’d touch you when you didn’t want to be touched, and he wouldn’t touch you when you did. Sexually and non-sexually. Sometimes you were feeling down and just needed a hug, but he would say you were being too clingy. 

So basically, he’s an asshole.

You got dressed and soon visualised the compound in your mind, reopening your eyes to be standing in the kitchen as Natasha was making toast on eggs. She turned around and you always wondered why she was never startled by your appearances, instead choosing to smile at you.

“Hey, you. You didn’t answer my messages.” 

“Thought I’d come and answer them in person.” You smiled widely.

She explained that she wanted to go out today with someone - that someone being you, preferably - and she just wanted to forget about her Avenger duties for a moment. Of course, you decided to go with her and she led you to her room where she offered some of her clothes.

You changed into a pair of dark blue jeans and a rock band shirt before taking the zip-up jumper from her, your senses tingling at the scent of her perfume. She even handed over one of her favourite pairs of shoes, second only to her combat boots she was currently lacing up, before she made her way to the bathroom to freshen up.

“Go to the garage, FRIDAY will lead you to my car.” Her voice muffled through the door and you did just as told, walking all the way to a stunning car you recognised.

“A Corvette Stingray…” You muttered, tempted to run your hand over the side of the bonnet to follow the streak of orange on black.

The lights flashed and you looked up, seeing the set of keys dangling from Natasha’s grip. “Let’s go.” 

The drive was easy, listening to anything but the news, which included her recent experiences in dating. She had already told you about her failed relationship with Maria, the only culprit to their star-crossed love being that they spent too much time apart and the spark fizzled out. Then she tried with Wanda, but the witch was too attached to the red-tinged toaster.

“I’m sorry. You’ll find a girl that fits you one day.” You comforted her gently by a hand on top of the gear shift, which her own rested upon.

“Thanks, Y/N/N.” She replied with a smirk, turning the car into a shopping centre parking lot.

You both wandered around, continuing to talk about anything and everything whilst you shopped. Natasha even insisted on buying you some things that she thought looked stunning on you, involving Jake into the conversation of beauty wherever she could so as to not let you think she liked you.

Even if she did.

A lot.

For you see, Natasha had never told you a lie except twice. Maria and her relationship failed not only because of distance, but because Maria wasn’t blind. Neither was Wanda - for Pete’s sake, she was a mind reader! Natasha’s daydreams were a real buzzkill when it came to making out in a darkened meeting room. 

So, she stuck to pining after you. It sucked to watch you and Jake at parties or having dinner dates where she’d try and find someone on Tinder, but her attention was always on you.

“Natasha, I can’t keep taking your so-called ‘gifts’. This is too much!” You chuckled nervously as she walked you out of the lingerie store.

“Oh, please. I’ve barely made a dent in the fortune Stark gave me before he isolated himself.” She rolled her eyes, keeping both her bags and yours in her grip.

You had to calm yourself when you saw her beefy biceps flex.

“So what are you doing tonight?” She asked as you approached the car.

You sighed. “Jake’s got a boys night, so I was just thinking of staying at home-”

After dumping the bags in the boot, Natasha’s finger came to rest on your lips. “Nope. You’re coming to my place.” 

Your eyes bulged. “You have a place outside of the compound?!” 

She nodded, making you face-palm. “Don’t worry about it, malyshka. Not many people think Avengers have lives outside of Avenger-ing. Hell, I’ve had to explain to the last five failures that I actually have a loft in Queens, a motorcycle without my hourglass, and that I like James Bond.” 

You hid your blush well at the nickname Natasha had bestowed upon your first meeting, something of which you had never deciphered. Instead, you let her drive back to her place before helping you up to the loft, carrying every single bag even if you tried to steal them from her.

When she opened the dark oak door with her retinal scan and voice, you should have known how high-tech and sleek it would be. The ceiling rose to fit a staircase and a bedroom above, including an ensuite, whilst the kitchen, living room, TV and balcony all sat on the lower level.

“Natalia. Alianovna. Romanova.” You turned to her and used her name the scanner had muttered, watching her lips form into her signature smirk.

“Thought I’d finally bring you by. Serves you right for trying to stay in your tiny one-bed one-bath apartment.” She sneered, a raised eyebrow enticing you to step closer and smack her shoulder.

“As far as I can see, this is also a one-bed one-bath.” You remarked, beginning to sort through the bags to find what was yours and what was hers.

Afterwards, you went to the toilet before reappearing in the middle of the loft, noticing how Natasha paced whilst texting on her phone.

“What’s wrong?” You of all people knew the signs of worry on her face - a single crease in her brows, thin lips, a tight jaw.

“Carol and Rhodey are in town and they want to have a face-to-face talk.”

“Oh.” 

At your dejected tone, Natasha looked up to see you fiddling with the zipper of her jacket. She pocketed her phone and immediately walked over to you, hugging you softly. “I’m sorry, malyshka. I promise we can hang out tomorrow, okay?”

You nodded into her shoulder before Natasha pulled away quickly. “Wanna help me pick an outfit?”

She grabbed your hand before you could say no and dragged you upstairs, your eyes flitting over the queen mattress with dark grey sheets and black pillows, a few books on the nightstand that were accompanied by a glass half-empty of water.

“You sit still and look pretty on the bed whilst I change in my bathroom.” She stated as she grabbed some clothes from her cupboard and made her way into the ensuite.

Outfit after outfit she came out, but she should have known you wouldn’t be a great help because you liked them all. Eventually, she went with a set of civilian-style clothes, much like the ones on your body. By now, you were actually quite comfortable in the bed and had tucked yourself underneath, the sheets enveloping you in your own warmth scented by Natasha’s clothes still on you.

“So how are you and Jake?” She asked you through the mirror as she began to apply her makeup.

Your slow reply made her mascara application wait until her stare drew an answer out of you. “We’re okay.”

“Okay? Y/N, you told me within the first week of meeting him that you wanted to marry him.” She teased, turning her focus back to her makeup.

“I know, but he’s just… he’s different now. He’s fun and witty and friendly… when he’s sober…” You trailed off as you took off the jumper, folding it neatly to your side before you relaxed into Natasha’s sheets.

“Don’t tell me he hits you.” The Widow’s face fell flat and you shook your head.

“No, never. Not even when we’re doing it. But that’s the thing - he doesn’t touch me anymore. No hugs, no kisses, nothing. And his voice is-is sharper, his tone is darker… He’s just an asshole now.” You sighed, closing your eyes as you tried to remember the nicer parts of your relationship.

Natasha’s brush stopped moving in her hand as she was almost finished, applying the smaller details. “Correct. Now, if only you just dated-”

“-Dated women, I know. I still don’t think I’m into girls though.” 

The light behind your eyelids dimmed slightly and you opened them to see Natasha leaning over you, her right hand sliding on top of your left whilst the fingers on her left tucked your chin into her grip perfectly.

“Don’t knock it till you try it, malyshka.” She husked.

You finally breathed after Natasha went back into her ensuite to tidy up, watching you from time to time as you got your breath back.

“Now I know why you use that move so often. Damn, Nat, your Widow skills are good!” You chuckled nervously.

Nat. Not Natasha, or even Natalia. The Russian knew that word and synonymised it with the friend zone, making her heart sink behind the thousands of masks upon her face.

“Well, I’ll be back around 11pm. Please don’t stay up late eating ice-cream out of the tub. In fact, I’ll order you something. What do you want?” She pulled out her phone and you grinned at her.

“Pizza.” 

She rolled her eyes and moved back to you, giving you a gentle hug. “One Y/N special coming right up.” 

She left after placing a small kiss on your forehead, something she rarely did because of her height but with you on the low bed it was easy. It felt easy too, almost like second nature. Giving you gifts and giving you touch, doing things for you and spending time with you made her day. It was her way of saying ‘i love you’ without even saying it.

Because she knew that if you rejected her, she would never recover.

When Natasha returned to the loft with most of the lights out, she placed her bag and keys on the bench next to your empty pizza box. She took off her shoes before climbing the stairs, her heart exploding as she saw you.

Lying in her bed, in her clothes. 

You looked at peace as you held the black pillow in your grip comfortingly, a grip she knew that meant more than words could say. Your hair fell loosely over your head and face, the swirls reminding her of ocean waves. She gently knelt down in front of you and carefully moved the loose strands away from obstructing your face.

“Krasivaya malyshka. (Beautiful baby.)” She whispered before kissing your nose, making her way to her ensuite to remove her makeup.

You stirred as the phantom touch on your nose drifted away, the light of the ensuite making you squint to see Natasha’s figure. Her shirt and pants removed themselves to reveal the dark red lace set she had bought, yet you didn’t know it was for you. You blushed softly as you admired her before a pair of silk shorts and an ex-Thor shirt covered her back up.

You easily closed your eyes again as she turned around, her focus not quite on you as she turned out the light and stood by the bed. On one hand, she really wanted to sleep next to you, to feel your comfort within the night. On the other, she didn’t want to push any boundaries and possibly break the amazing friendship you had.

So, you did it for her. 

You sighed out and sat up slowly, looking at her with your weary eyes. “Tasha?” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes.

“Hi, malyshka.” She cooed.

Oh, how she loved that nickname. Out of all of the creative ones you’d given her, that one was her favourite. To you, Tasha meant safety, Tasha meant comfort. Tasha wouldn’t yell at you if you forgot something, nor would she starve you of hugs when you were on your period.

Tasha meant… everything.

“What are you doing standing there?” You looked up at her in a way that Natasha could only describe as the cutest thing on Earth.

“What do you mean?”

“Hurry up and get in here before my sleep is screwed.” You grumbled, lying back down and cuddling the black pillow.

She smirked at your sleepy antics before climbing into the bed on the other side, noticing how close your warm body was to her. She wanted to get impossibly closer, to wrap you in her so that you could never leave, but that was crossing a line.

Instead, she watched your sleeping form turn over and face her, a long exhale indicating how far into your sleep you were, which was very. She watched you slowly discard the black pillow but you still fidgeted in your sleep, which began to disrupt her attempts.

She gently pushed at your ribs, encouraging your unconscious form to flip over. Then, she moved underneath the blankets until her chest pressed against your back completely, her chin coming to rest on your shoulder.

“Easy, malyshka…” She cooed, letting her hands dance up and down your forearm in a soothing motion until the creases in your brows flattened out.

Your hands soon held her arms loosely and she smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to your neck before she closed her eyes, her dreams filled with infinite scenarios just like that one.

When you woke up by the brightness of the sun, you were surprised to see a mess of red and bleach blonde hair in front of you, the body it was attached to facing away from you. Through the sleeping shirt that had been pulled tight from Natasha’s movements, you could see her defined muscles and could only imagine the warmth they radiated.

*Just a simple touch…* Your heart begged, but your mind knew better.

You stood out of the bed and looked down at yourself, moving to the bathroom to have a shower before your phone rang loudly from downstairs. You teleported down in an effort not to wake Natasha, but the Widow was awake as soon as you decided to stand.

“Hi, Jakie.” You yawned, rubbing your tired eyes.

“Where the hell are you?! The apartment’s a mess!” 

“I’m at Natasha’s. We had a girls day.”

“Girls day? GIRLS DAY?! Are you fucking with me right now?!”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Jake, it was just a nice day, like yours I bet. How are Daniel and Scott anyway?”

“I don’t know!”

“Didn’t you hang out with them?”

“Just get home! Now!” 

“I’m not ready to come home yet, just give me an hour.” You grumbled, not noticing how Natasha stood at the base of the stairs with anger boiling her veins.

How dare this man treat you like shit? You were a beauty in her eyes, one that deserved to be treasured, not berated. She watched as your generally happy state was chipped away by the chiselling words of an insecure man, to the point where she came up behind you and took your phone.

“Hey-” 

You knew only one thing that happened in the next five seconds, and that was the fact that Natasha hung up on Jake on your phone before grabbing hers to send him the very thoughts on her mind.

You just placed a hand on her forearm before she hit send, and the bubble would have been huge if you hadn’t stopped her.

“Please stop. This isn’t your battle.” You muttered, but she shook you off.

“Like hell it isn’t.” She spat, sending the message.

“Natasha, I asked you nicely.”

“Yeah?! And is he nice to you?!” 

You stepped back at her yelling. “Natasha, don’t yell, please.” 

She took a deep breath and apologised softly. “I- I can’t keep doing this anymore, Y/N.”

“What thing?” You asked.

Natasha laughed sadly at your furrowed eyebrows that, more often than not, displayed confusion. “My moves! I buy you lingerie, I offer you my bed when you’re sad or tired, I get you food because I want you to eat.”

“You’re my friend, Natasha. Friends do those sorts of things.” You tried to explain, but you weren’t sure if it was to her or to yourself.

“Do they? Do they really? Does a friend ogle her best friend when she tries on the most stunning dark red two piece I’ve ever seen? Does she blush when she speaks her mother tongue?” She stepped towards you, her hands falling into a similar position as the previous night.

“Does she melt into her best friend’s touch? Does she freeze when she is just millimetres from her lips?” 

You fell silent and looked down, but Natasha’s hand held your jaw tightly and almost forced you to look at her. “Hm? Does she? Answer me, Y/N.” 

“No.” You squeaked a whisper, rose dotting your cheeks as you admitted your little crush.

Natasha chuckled gravelly, a flirting technique you’d heard her use many times before. “Then what do we do?”

She was waiting for you. 

You didn’t know what to do. 

You became a stuttering mess and Natasha realised she was pushing you too far. She took a step back and apologised gently, still intent on making you breakfast.

“Do you want eggs and bacon or french… toast…” She trailed off as she stood up, not seeing you anywhere.

You’d left.

You shouldn’t have.

Jake was furious and when you appeared in the living room that doubled as a kitchen and dining room, he marched over to you. “Where the fuck have you been?!”

“I told you, at Natasha’s.” You mumbled.

“Why are the dishes not done?! Why does the laundry stink?! Why is there rubbish and junk and-” He picked up an empty beer bottle, one that he had drunk two nights ago, and threw it against the wall.

“Why are you so useless?!” 

He looked down at your shaking form, a few shards of glass in your cheek and particularly near your eye, and he liked it. He always had, but you’d never noticed. Control was what he craved, and he had it with your sweet soul. 

Trusting him to hold your drink at a bar, but you didn’t think about it when you saw it fizz.

Letting him have a bruising grip on your side when you were in public, but he always apologised. 

Everything slotted into place, and you disappeared.

Natasha paced around as she struggled on deciding who to call, only for a sniffle to come from above her. She raced upstairs and saw her ensuite door open, your whole body shaking as it rested on the toilet seat.

“Y/N?” She asked gently, returning her pillow-covered gun. 

“Y/N, sweetness, are you okay?”

She stepped in and saw the four trails of blood down your cheeks stained with tears, another tear when you’d squint and a cry when the pressure on your wounds hurt. 

Natasha grabbed her first aid kit from underneath the sink and gently came towards you, kneeling down to your level. “Y/N, I need to take those shards out. May I please, please, touch you?” 

You closed your eyes and leaned forwards slightly, your chin coming to rest in her hand as the other with the tweezers rested along the curve of your face. She was as gentle as she could be with the first three, hearing nothing coming from you, but the last one was very close to your eye.

“Y/N, I need you to be still.” She cooed, but you couldn’t stop shaking.

“C-Cold.” You muttered.

“Can I hug you?” She asked and you looked her up and down, a gesture that broke her heart.

Jake was going to pay for hurting your sweet soul.

“Malyshka, I would never do anything to hurt you. I can promise you that for every breath of my lungs.” She murmured, moving towards you.

She placed a gentle kiss on your lips as her thumb stroked your unmarred cheek, not expecting you to reciprocate it. She simply wanted you to trust her, and she felt like this was a step in the right direction.

She was wrong.

It was a leap.

You kissed her back and only then did she realise how much you were hurting. Her lips captured every sob, every tear and every whimper as you broke down. She momentarily put the tweezers down and held you close, peppering your face with kisses except for the injured area.

“Sweet girl, please don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry, it puts an ache in my heart.” She muttered, trying to keep herself calm.

“H-He hurt me, Tasha. He promised never to, and he did.” You sobbed into her touch, keeping your cheek far away from her chest.

She looked up, closed her eyes and sighed, looking back down at you as she grabbed her tweezers one more time. “It’s the last one, I promise. Just please be still, I don’t want to even think of scratching your beautiful eye.”

You nodded and took a deep breath, watching her as she steadily brought the tweezers to your cheek. It hurt, almost like a thousand needles poking the same spot, and you whimpered.

“Almost there, sweet one. Halfway.” She murmured, pulling continuously.

“Please, Tasha, it hurts! Please stop!” You begged, but with one final tug it was out.

“There! There! It’s done! No more pain.” She promised, but the size of your wounds were larger than she expected.

“I’m gonna put a few band-aids on, okay?”

You nodded and closed your eyes, letting her gentle touch guide your senses. She ended up putting three on, with two of the sites being close enough to fit under the band-aid, and she gave your nose a kiss when she was done.

“There we go.” She smiled gently, cleaning away a few stray tears.

“Please don’t make me go back. I want…” You muttered, but Natasha would wait for eternity if you would speak to her.

“I want to be with you. I think… I think I always have. I’ve just been too blind and stupid to see it.”

She smirked at you. “Well, I happen to like my blind and stupid Y/N.” 

You rolled your eyes but that wasn’t a great idea, making you wince softly. “Please let me stay. I’ll help pay rent and do some grocery shopping and-and do every chore there is. I’ll clean the bathroom, I’ll vacuum the carpets, I’ll make you breakfast, lunch, dinner…” 

Natasha let her head cock to the side as she continued to smile at you, waiting for your plea to end. “None of that, angel. You can stay as long as you want.”

She leaned in to you and heard your breath snap off. “Maybe the universe was sending a signal when you left your lingerie with me, pretty girl.” 

[h0neypjm]

Just for practice | kth

↳ Summary: “I think we should normalise giving head to your friends as practice.”

↳ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, slight Hoseok x reader

↳ Genre: Smut, pwp, some plot i guess, best friend! Taehyung

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 5.3k

↳ Warnings: swearing, lip biting, hickies, oral (both female and male receiving), rough blowjobs, spanking, fingering, squirting, big dick! Tae, possessiveness/jealousy, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap pls), dom/sub themes, Taehyung calls reader lots of pet names (sweetheart, darling, good girl), degradation, biting, slight cockwarming

↳ a/n: I’ve been having major writer’s block while writing confident :( however, i saw this tweet which prompted this lil oneshot hope you enjoy

Jung Hoseok [ 2:15 PM ]

Am I gonna see you at Seokjin’s tomorrow?

You [ 2:16 PM ]

I’ll be there :)

Jung Hoseok [ 2:18 PM ]

You’re not gonna run away from me this time, right?

You [ 2:20 PM ]

No of course not haha

Jung Hoseok [ 2:21 PM ]

Is that a promise princess?

A sigh flies out of your mouth like wind through a window and you’re shucking off your glasses in an instant. Hoseok’s texts bringing back a flurry of memories that you wish to forget.

“Do you need help with your essay again?”

Your eyes are strained when they try to focus on Taehyung, your shoulders shrug in defeat. “No, I’m fine. It’s just-”

Taehyung knows immediately, he is your best friend after all. “Let me guess, It’s Hoseok isn’t it?” 

You slump in your seat while a pout is cutely drawn onto your face, you nod with dismay. “I really like him Tae, and every time we see each other, It’s like the universe has it out for me and tries to make sure I embarrass myself in front of him.”

Taehyung shuts his laptop because he knows there's no use in trying to write an essay while you speak about your utterly tragic love life. He thinks about your situation for a minute before he speaks.

“Yes, you might’ve spilled your beer on him and accidentally punched him in the eye, more than once. But, if he’s still texting you he’s obviously still into you. It’s a good sign sweetheart.” Taehyung pats your hand across the coffee table, a comforting smile adorning his handsome face.

Taehyung doesn’t know the full extent of your problem and the more you think about it the more embarrassing it becomes. So you smile back at him uttering a small thank you before turning back to your laptop.

Taehyung raises a brow, “wait, wait, hang on, something is still bothering you.” 

You frown, “it’s embarrassing.”

Taehyung shuffles around the corner of the coffee table as if you’re about to tell him a secret, though it’s just the two of you in his small apartment. “Just tell me, it can’t be that bad.”

“Taehyung it is that bad.” You tilt your head at him, pulling up the sleeves of your sweater around your tiny fists. “You’re gonna laugh at me.”

Taehyung feigns shock at your words, his hands placed on his heart for dramatic effect. “I would never laugh, and frankly I’m offended you think that low of me.” 

You roll your eyes, turning your body more towards him, deciding it wouldn't hurt letting Taehyung know the thoughts plaguing your mind. “Well, you know how Hoseok and I have been kind of flirty lately, right?” He nods in understanding. 

“I can tell he wants more than that, you know? His touches are small but I know exactly what he’s suggesting, and don’t get me wrong, the feeling is completely mutual because trust me I want that too. Really bad.” 

Taehyung hums, interrupting your soon-to-be graphic rambling. “I totally get it Y/N. Now let’s stop beating around the bush so I can help you.”

If Taehyung were a girl, this would be so much easier. You curse your eight-year-old self who just had to become friends with a boy because God, how do you even start?

Taehyung is a patient man, always giving you space before helping you but, in this situation, you feel it’s best to just rip the band-aid off. Taehyung if you can read my mind, please don’t laugh at me.

“I’venevergivensomeoneablowjob.”

You speak so suddenly, Taehyung’s not so sure he heard you correctly. “Huh?”

“Goddammit Tae”, you rub and your temples and avoid his stare. “I’ve never given someone a blowjob!”

His eyes are wide. “Oh” 

You hide your face into the table while your body internally cringes. At least he didn’t laugh. “See! You do think it’s bad.”

“I’m just surprised to be honest”, he reassures, leaning back onto his palms, strong brows pulled together in thought. “Shit Y/N, have you really never sucked a dick before?”

Sure, you’ve had sex many times (most of which have been extremely disappointing) but, it seems that most of your hookups want to get straight into fucking. No foreplay, no nothing. Just unseasoned, pleasureless fucking.

A groan rumbles out of your throat, “It just never happened! They were all about that hump and dump lifestyle I guess.”

Taehyung is utterly baffled at your statement. In Taehyung’s books, It is compulsory to treat every women like a queen. Preparing and edging them the perfect amount of times to see them crumble so sensually by his very doing. To Taehyung, seeing a woman cry out his name from experiencing the most explosive, leg-shaking orgasm was always his favourite part.

This is why Taehyung is absolutely shattered for you. “So, you’re also telling me no one has ever eaten you out?” You miserably nod, “that’s actually fucking evil!”

His words do not ease you one bit as you throw your head onto the seat behind you. “The way you say it makes me feel even worse. This is the sole reason why I run away from Hoseok and make a fool out of myself.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything, the air floating around carrying an awkward silence. You don’t really care and you don’t expect Taehyung to think of a solution. Plus, you’re already embarrassed enough.

You might as well leave and ask one of your girlfriends for help, maybe finish your essay while you’re at it. You sigh, shutting your laptop and stacking your books together. 

However, the next sentence that flies out of Taehyung’s mouth makes you stop dead in your tracks.

“I think I’ve figured out how I can help you.”

Wiggling back into a comfortable seating position, you lean into Taehyung with interest. “And how might you help me, dear Taehyung?”

He eyes you nervously, his fingers fiddling with his chunky rings, “You trust me, right?”

You smile, “yeah, of course, you’re my best friend Tae.”

An exhale puffs out of his mouth. “Why not practice on me?”

You almost choke on your spit. You definitely did not expect him to say that. “Could you repeat that please?”

A new glint of mischief sparkles in his eye. “Why not let me teach you how to give Hoseok the blowjob of his life and in return, I’ll eat you out”

Your brain is having a meltdown. 

“You’re fucking crazy”, you wail. “You actually want me to suck your dick?”

He brings his hands up in defence, “I think we should normalize giving head to your friends as practice, I don’t think it’s such a bad idea. Think about it, you get to learn and cum at the same time.”

You won’t lie to yourself, the proposal is tempting and in all honesty, Taehyung is hot as fuck. You will forever thank the Gods above for blessing you with the delicious sight that is your best friend. However, the proposition puts you in an odd spot.

Apprehensive about your thoughts, you state your unease, “I-I don’t know Taehyung, don’t you think this might ruin our friendship?” An exhale, “have you seriously thought of me that way?”

Taehyung chuckles, it’s deep and totally unexpected to your question. “Sweetheart, there are many things that go on inside my head involving you. And to answer your question, they’re not completely innocent.”

A startled gasp is ripped from your throat and your stomach flutters with a dangerous mix of nervousness, thrill and dare you say arousal.

Never in your life would you have imagined Kim Taehyung, your best friend since grade school, seeing you in such an inviting way. To make matters worse, It was intimidating to think about his fair share of experience and the long line of women backing up the fact that Taehyung was indeed some sort of sex demon.

Of course, you felt the same way. How could you not! The man was practically an incarnation of a Greek God. Broad sturdy shoulders that sat atop thick muscular thighs, and how could you forget his gorgeous fingers.

You’d die before you admit it, but there have been many nights where you have found yourself thinking about what his pretty long fingers could do to you. Those nights always ended with a mess of your sheets and a wetness between your thighs. It was your dirty little secret, however, it seems Taehyung also had some of his own.

His sharp eyes storm with darkness when he speaks, “don’t lie Y/N, I know you’ve had some dirty thoughts about me up in that pretty little head of yours.”

Pink blossoms over your cheeks like wildfire because he’s so terrifyingly right. “I don’t even need to touch you sometimes, one look and you’re a goner.” You gulp. “Look at you right now.” His gaze drops down to your thighs. “All my talking making you so needy, you need to clench your thighs to keep it together.”

He smiles, though it’s not his usual boxy, boyish smile. It’s dangerous and seductive almost smirking and shit when did he get so close to you? Your breathing is erratic and you have no idea how you could be so anxious yet so amorous at the same time. 

Your heart beats rapidly in your ears. “This is just for practice, right?”

Taehyung curses under his breath, “just for practice sweetheart.”

You don’t get to respond.

His lips are hesitant at first when they meet yours, yet his hands say the opposite. They start at your waist and tickle their way down to your stiff hands. Ever so gently, he pries them open, intertwining his long fingers with yours, and God, did his hands feel so right.

Your nerves dissipate slowly but surely as you allow him to explore your mouth with his skilful tongue. 

Much to Taehyung’s dismay, he finds you releasing your fingers from his own. Your hands flying to the nape of his neck, ultimately bringing him closer to you, deepening the kiss. Taehyung moans in delight when you tug at his long curls, you bite his lip in reply while lust paints your vision and dampens your panties.

Taehyung never knew he would miss the feeling of your lips against his when he painfully pushes himself away to situate himself comfortably on the couch. It was time for the lesson to begin.

You pout at the distance, trying to wiggle close until he motions for you to get into a particular position. Your insides swell with eagerness.

His voice is sweet and his hands are delicate when he tucks a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Get down on your knees for me sweetheart.” You obey immediately. He smirks at your sinking form. “Good girl.”

You swear right then and there your pussy had gained a working heartbeat at his words. The unfamiliar pulse thumping as if it were trying to break loose from the constraints of your sweatpants.

Your eyes are big and expectant, slowly drinking up the sight of Taehyung’s delicious figure seated above you. He sits on the couch like it’s his throne, legs spread to accompany your kneeling figure, and dominating stare pinning you down. A shiver runs down your spine.

“Wh-what do I do now?” You utter, making it known to Taehyung that he is in charge. He is in control.

Taehyung cocks his head to the side, using a decorated pointer finger to hither your hands towards him. Hesitantly, you raise both hands, lightly placing them down on his thighs.

A click of his tongue makes its way to your ears and you know you’ve already made your first mistake. Taehyung’s brows furrow, it’s obvious you need to make the next move but your brain is fuzzy and flustered. 

He sighs at your confused silence, bringing your small hands onto his belt. Oh, you know what you’re supposed to do now.  

“I thought you were smarter than this, how else are you meant to get my dick out, hmm?” The blush across your cheeks has definitely spread profusely from his teasing. Its once peachy pink tone deepening into an embarrassing cherry red.

The buckle of his belt jingles under your fingertips as you nervously undo them. You’re apparently too slow for his liking, Taehyung finishing the job by pulling his belt off his pants, leaving you to stare down at the large bulge covered by the fabric of his tight jeans. You thought you had your nerves under control but the way your hands start to shake is an indication that this is real. You’re really about to suck your best friend off.

Ever the observant friend, Taehyung is quick to notice the slight shake in your fingers. “Wait, stop.”

You do as he says, quickly settling your palms back on the thickness of his covered thighs. “Are you sure you want to do this? your hands are shaking sweetheart.” His voice is laced with concern, a total switch to his previous words.

Clearing your throat you reply, “oh, no, no I’m fine.” You lock eyes. “I just want to make sure I’m doing good so I can be good for him.”

Possessiveness flares within Taehyung’s chest and he has no idea why. Although he doesn’t let it show, he can’t help the swell of his ego at the knowledge that he’s the first to get you like this. Not Hoseok. Him.

So, he grins his wide boxy grin, dragging a finger down your warm cheek. “Don’t worry darling, you’re in great hands”

The commanding smirk etched onto his lips sparks a surge of confidence through your veins, begging you to finally touch him.

With a tug of your small hands, Taehyung’s constricting jeans are pried off the taut muscle of his thighs and are left to pool around his ankles. The excitement of finally being able to suck dick coursing through your body like lighting, and just like his jeans, Taehyung’s boxers are off in a second.

His cock springs, tall, hard and proud. Your jaw drops, Taehyung chuckles at your reaction. You feel an ooze of wetness pooling in your panties.

His size is nothing you’ve seen before, thick and girthy with an impressive length to match. You wince at the thought of fitting him down your throat.

The cold metal of his rings against your hands brings your attention to Taehyung’s handsome face. Without breaking any eye contact, he wordlessly wraps your hands around the thickness of his cock.

It’s warm and swells in your palm, your two dainty hands stacked on top of each other. Fingers trying so hard to wrap themselves around the sheer girth of his cock.

You’re not dumb, you know what comes next. With a sharp inhale you begin to stroke up his length, paying close attention to his facial expression to get an idea of how well you’re doing

Taehyung’s head tilts to get a better view at your hands, “grip it tighter for me… yeah fuck that’s it.”

His praise boasts you on, holding tighter onto his cock and gathering the slick of his pre-cum with a twist of your wrist. Your eyes remain focused on the way the skin moves with your hands and the way his tip glistens with arousal. You want to lick it.

“When you’re ready you can put your mouth- Ahh shit Y/N!”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence when you’re already so eager to have him in your mouth. You do what you think would feel best, sucking on the head of his cock like a sweet ice lolly on a hot summer's day. Your tongue tracing the thick circumference before dipping into his slit.

A light groan falls from his mouth as he watches you lap at the remaining pre-cum that glistens in the afternoon light. Taehyung almost forgets why he’s here, lost in your plump lips wet with saliva.

Right, he’s here to teach you how to give a blowjob. “Try and take my whole length in darling.” 

You nod, taking a deep breath, your mouth opening wider to take him in as far as you can. You try to keep your throat relaxed taking him inch by inch.

“That's a good girl”, he praises, “you’re doing so well for me.” 

Your knees squeeze together, acting to relieve some pressure on your aching heat. It had truly been a while since you got some serious action.

Surprisingly you’re able to make your way to the hilt of his cock, a choked gag sputtering from your lips.

A few strands of hair fall in your face, blocking your eyes in the process. Swiftly, Taehyung brushes the hair from your eyes while simultaneously lifting your head off of his cock. 

You release him with a satisfying pop, your eyes wide and makeup a little smudged. Taehyung coaches you through the next steps. “I want you to try and do that again, but when you come back up, lick the length of my cock and look at me while you do it.”

Humming in acknowledgment you grip the base of his cock before pausing. “Isn’t this what you like though? What if Hoseok likes to be touched in a different way?”

An unintentional growl bubbles out of his mouth. Oh how he wished he could take your mind off Hoseok and have you screaming his name, thinking about him instead.

He pushes down his discontentment with the other man on your mind, “men are simple creatures Y/N, just making out sometimes can get them going. And judging by the way you’re sucking my cock right now, I’m sure Hoseok will be crazy for you.”

As Taehyung explains the ins and outs of a man’s brain, you don’t make an effort to stop the teasing of his cock. His words sound slurred, they go in one ear and out the other, and besides the delicious length in front of you is much more fascinating.

For the time being you stare up at him, your eyes wide feigning interest in his words, all while you grip his cock in one hand and continuously lap at his tip with a kitten-like flick of your tongue. 

Taehyung finally realises that you’ve stopped listening when he feels the small yet downright sensual pleasure shooting through his cock. He grunts, pushing your hair back once again, “fuck, that’s hot. You’re so fucking good.”

His preoccupied hand squeezes the pillows beside him, the veins of his hands popping out. You do what he taught you, seductive eyes laser focused on him while your wicked tongue leaves a hot trail up the prominent vein on his dick.

“Shit Y/N you’re doing so well-”

You release him from your mouth disrupting his sentence, “can you fuck my throat?”

Taehyung swears his whole body just convulsed at your request. He looks away just so he can contain himself because holy shit.

Obviously Taehyung has thought about you being in this position, saying those words. Yet, no matter how many times he fantasizes this scenario, nothing would ever prepare him for those words to actually come out of your mouth with the most bewitching grin plastered on your pretty face.

He stutters, “I- no, I don’t know if you can take it darling.”

You grip his thighs, pout forming on those dangerous lips of yours, “please Tae, I want it. Want you to use me.”

Taehyung pushes the curls of his bangs away, a hiss steaming from his lips. “Alright, but if you feel any discomfort pinch my thigh, okay sweetheart?”

You’re impatient, “yeah, yeah, I can take your monster dick.” You place a small kiss on his thigh, “do your worst.”

His movements are all too fast, all too sudden. His fingers securing a death-grip on the mess of your hair before holding his cock up to your mouth. “You asked for it darling.”

Your mouth automatically widens, welcoming the rough intrusion of his cock as it slides all the way down your throat. A lewd gag fills the room.

A dark cloud of lust of dominance fogs Taehyung’s vision, his biceps flexing when he brings your head up and down his thick velvety length.

The room resounds with the filthy wet noises of your saliva covered lips pumping repeatedly. Taehyung breathes heavily through his nose, tilting his head against the cushions behind him. He keeps his hips still, yanking your hair at an obscene pace. A slew of curses and moans fly out into the air as he revels at the complete state of ecstasy you’ve put him under.

The heat of his member burns the back of your throat but you fucking love it. You open your teary eyes, gazing at his chiseled jaw and the way he shivers and groans above you. It only spurs you on when he glances back down, meeting your mascara ruined eyes.

It’s like a knee-jerk reaction. Taehyung harshly pushes your head all the way to the base of his cock. Your face is met with his abdomen, the hairs of his happy trail tickling your nose.

He leaves you there, and the burn in your throat rises, leaving you gagging, your throat tightening around him.

Taehyung believes after this he could never get the image of your messy docile eyes and tarnished lips out of his brain. He feels your throat constrict, “sh-shit, fuck Y/N, breathe through your nose.” You inhale. “That’s my good girl.”

He releases you from his member only to push your lips back onto him, going back to his beastly pace. “You look so fucking pathetic, you think Hoseok wants a messy girl like you?”

You gurgle around him, tears freely falling down your cheeks as you try to shake your head no. He only mumbles out a groan, his cock abruptly pulsing under your tongue like a steady heartbeat.

It's all too sudden when he releases your head off his length, a glob of drool dripping down your chin and onto your shirt. 

“Fuck sorry I was about to cum.”

Although your heart swells with pride you wonder, “why didn’t you?”

He runs a hand through his messy locks, “the purpose of this was to teach you, don’t you still want to practice?”

You’re smug with your answer, “I think I’ve got the hang of it now.”

He swipes a finger under your tear stained eyes, “getting cocky now are we.” 

You were cocky indeed, “well I did get you shaking under my touch didn’t I?”

He rolls his eyes, “get up you brat, I’m gonna show you what you’ve been missing out on.”

Fucking finally.

You won’t lie, you were probably most excited to finally know what it feels like to receive head. Your mind is still fuzzy from Taehyung’s rough ministrations as you slowly get up. You wobble slightly and Taehyung is quick to stabilize you with two strong arms holding the curve of your hips in place.

With his arms already around you he pushes you towards the couch, kicking his jeans off in the process.

Back flat against his plush couch you’re already stripping off your sweatpants and panties together in one. “My, my aren’t you eager”, he teases, a glint of shamelessness twinkling in his brown orbs when he drinks up the plushness of your thighs leading to your dripping cunt.

Holding your knees in the palm on his hands, he spreads them open to reveal the glossy folds on your heat. He kisses his teeth, satisfaction and hunger clear on his face. “Fuck, isn’t this a pretty sight.”

His words bring back a blush on your cheeks, you pull him forward, your lips inches away from his own. “Shut up please.”

And he shuts you up real good. Smashing your lips to his, he envelopes you into a feverish kiss, your tongues dancing the devil's tango.

His hands are adventurous, feeling the mounds of your breasts over your shirt. “Why the fuck isn’t your shirt off yet huh?” He tuts, pulling on the cotton fabric.

“I want yours off too.” You cutely mumble tugging at the hem of his shirt, to which he complies, tugging it off in one fluid motion. 

You peel your baggy shirt off just in time to see Taehyung's arm flex as he takes his very own shirt off. “Have you been working out? My God Tae, you're as big as Joon.”

He inwardly smirks because yeah he’s been working out and it's clearly paying off. He doesn’t want to show his glee however, “can we not talk about other men when I’m about to eat you out.”

You chuckle, eyes trailing down his buff arms to his v-line that leads to his dick like an arrow directing you to his treasure. You bite your lip, unclipping your lace bralette, “sure, sure, let’s get the show on the road.”

It’s Taehyung turn to drink up the sight of your body. “Fuck, always imagined what these tits looked like under all those tight clothes you wear.”

He’s really feeding into your praise kink. “Well, were they what you expected?”

He sucks on one immediately and you arch your back at the unexpected pleasure. “Even better”, he squeezes them in his palms, “they’re fucking gorgeous.”

He sucks a deep hickey under your left breast, leaving you whimpering with a hand tangled in his hair. “Always imagined what you sounded like moaning for me.”

You can’t reply, his touches burning through your skin. He kisses down your sternum to your stomach until he’s hovering above your aching clit, a tantalising grin on his face before he’s diving in.

“Fuck!” You wail at the unfamiliar yet mesmerising feelings. His tongue is stiff and pointed, flicking quickly up and down your bundle of nerves. 

The grip you have on his hair is deathly but it's the only thing in your reach that can ground you. He licks a long stripe down your sopping slit, keeping his sharp eyes on you the whole time.

“F-feels so fucking good Tae!” You almost scream. He cups his lips around your swollen nub sucking on it with a shit-eating grin on his face.

You’re too dazed to comment on it, reeling in the new pleasures you’re experiencing. You stare down at him, your eyes half opened and so close to rolling to the back of your head.

However, they almost completely open wide at the sight presented before you. With two long fingers, Taehyung is shoving them in his mouth, soaking them with his spit before rubbing them onto your sensitive folds.

You beg. “Put them inside.. Please.” Taehyung doesn’t make a sound only kissing your clit as he plunges his ring decorated fingers into you.

You’re so wet his fingers slide into you with ease. He groans at the sensation, his view focused on the way your cunt greedily sucks him in.

“Look at you, getting my rings all dirty you filthy girl”, he scolds watching the way your essence drips into the crevices of his intricate jewellery. 

Taehyung increases the pace of his long fingers, finger fucking you into euphoria. He doesn’t stop there, his lips returning to your desperate clit in a wet mess of your juices and his saliva.

You can feel your orgasm bubbling in your stomach. It's hot and feels so unlike any other upcoming orgasm you’ve experienced. His fingers curl inside of you, his palm slapping your folds with his rapid pace and his lips don’t give any sign of stopping.

“Taehyung- Tae, I’m cumming!” You really scream this time, your orgasm taking control over your body like a demon. 

You swear your eyes black out, your body shaking, a warmth gushing out of your cunt as it spazzes out.

Your chest heaves and you blink, feeling a damp pool around you. Oh God, Did you piss yourself?

“Holy fuck Y/N, I can’t believe you just did that.”

You sit up, embarrassed, an apology falling from your lips.

“You just squirted on me.”

You’re flushed, “I- what?”

Taehyung almost looks akin to a wolf hunting down his prey. “That was the hottest fucking experience of my life, holy shit I’m so hard.”

Well at least you didn’t pee on his couch. There’s a surge of overwhelming need for his cock to be inside of you. You’ve never felt this way before, it’s scary but so is this whole experience. It’s definitely one for the books.

Getting up on your knees you hold onto his shoulders, Taehyung raises a brow. “Fuck, I need to ride you, can I ride you?”

You think you just saw his dick twitch at your words. He grins, “just for practice?”

Your smile is sickly sweet, “of course, just for practice.”

His arms are strong when he shuffles into a seated position all while holding your hips above his awaiting cock.

He pauses, a flash of his normal self resurfacing. “You’re on the pill yeah?”

You peck his lips, “yes, now stuff me full.”

That’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s sinking you down onto his length. 

You both let out moans of pleasure at the feeling of being complete. The stretch hurts so bad but hurts so good. He fills you up so well it has you speechless, the air trapped inside your lungs refusing to be released until your walls are comfortable around his impressive girth.

Mumbling a soft curse, you swivel your hips in slow circles, getting used to his large size. Taehyung watches you, hunger written on his face as he licks his lips and examines the way you fit so perfectly on his lap.

You test the waters, holding onto his shoulders for support. You lift your hips and settle back onto his lap. He groans at the wet squelch it makes and slaps your ass, grabbing it in his hand to squeeze it.

You pick up the speed, pumping up and down, whimpering at how well he fills you up. You keep your gaze trained on the image of his dick disappearing in your heat and pulling out with a wet sheen.

Taehyung tucks a finger under your chin, bringing you close to his face to push his soft lips onto yours once again.

It’s weird to say, but you don’t think you can get tired of kissing your best friend. He knows exactly what you want and knows exactly how to make your head spin.

With his large hands of yours, you pick up the pace, slamming your ass onto his hips. You leave his lips, kissing the side of jaw and suckling a few lovebites behind his ear.

His voice is deep and sultry, “fuck yeah, that’s it.” You wail in his hold, pushing yourself to meet his thrusts below. Your thighs burn but the pleasure burns so much hotter.

You feel your second orgasm of the night rising within you and can tell Taehyung is close too. Taehyung assists you, using his thighs to push up into you. Your juices drip down onto his pelvis and both of your breaths get heavier.

His thrusts are fast and rough, creating loud slapping noises that echo around his empty apartment. He grunts, folding his head into the crook of your neck. He’s about to cum and so are you.

With one final gasp your release hits you like a truck. Your thigh shakes in his lap and Taehyung bites at the delicate skin of your neck. His warm seed shoots inside of you, eliciting a small sigh from your lips.

Taehyung releases his hold to lean back onto the couch. He keeps his softening cock inside of you, lazily staring at your fucked out expression.

You play with his rings, “well, how did I do?”

The shit-eating grin is back. “Hmmm, I think you may need more practice.”

[tokoyamisstuff]

Scandal Ch. 5 - Loki x Reader

Summary: Loki returns to claim what is his - willing to kill everyone in his way.

Warnings: Angst.

Words: ~1800

I Story Masterlist I General Masterlist I

Taglist: @catlover092402152, @hi-there-x, @haloangel391, @misssilencewritewell, @babayaga67, @accioremuslupinn, @mochimommy2002, @just-someone-who-likes-to-write, @damalseer, @bethanystan, @loser-alert, @star017, @nina1800, @queenariesofnarnia, @n1fangirlsblog, @vengefulsokovian, @lunamoonbby, @freyagallileaevans, @emmojoy, @literate-lamb, @aninnai​, @justsomerandompersonintheworld​

A/N: Sweet little Feedback Anon, I took your suggestion. You know which one I mean if you see it. (:

Btw guys I have like 60+ Drafts I need to finish so pls be patient with me.

Word sure spreads fast among the folk of Asgard, about Odin’s shame and your innocence.

Since his lies had weakened the favor among his subjects, the Allfather was desperate to clean his name and reputation, ultimatively inviting you to come back.

But you declined, stating that this wasn’t your homeland anymore ever since they betrayed you to fullfill their selfish ambitions.

However, Asgard’s hypocrisy wasn’t the only reason you chose to stay on Midgard - you just knew that it would break your heart every day you’d spend on a place with so many memories connected to your deceased husband.

Earthlings, the people of S.H.I.E.L.D and especially Thor’s friends Jane and Erik Selvic had basically become like family to you. Even though they could never fill the void Loki had left in your heart, things being like this was more than you could wish for.

“Lady Y/N!” a familiar voice greeted you, yet his worried tone startled you. Thor was already standing in your room, practically kicking in your door as he was visibly upset.

Immediately, you put Liam into his crib and rushed to his side. “What’s the matter?!”

A strange mix of horror and excitement was stretched across his face, making your heart sink to your stomach.

Actually, you didn’t want to involve yourself with the Asgardians any further. All you ever wanted was for your child to be healthy and happy, no matter where this was possible.

But Thor was still your cherished brother-in-law, as well as a wonderful uncle, never ceasing to provide for you and Liam, even when everyone else had forsaken you.

Yet what he was about to tell you let your blood run cold: 

“Loki is back.”

Immediately, all the walls you had built up over those past months were crumbling as you collapsed to the floor, crying out of anger and relief.

“H-How? How is this even possible?! He’s dead! Loki died!”

“Pull yourself together, Lady Y/N!” Thor has always been a rather touchy-feely kind of person, in opposite to his raw and bulky appearance.

But right now, he wouldn’t dare to hug or console you, like he’d usually do. Instead, he was offering you a hand to help you get back up - which you wouldn’t be able to take just yet. “There’s no use in overthinking this! We need to hurry!”

“What do you even want me to do?” you wondered, because if your husband was really alive, you’d doubt him wanting to see you. “He’s changed...killed a lot of people before he disappeared. And still, I don’t wanna fight him. How can I be of any help at all?!?”

“We know he’s probably after you and the child” the God of Thunder stated coldly. “So you need to be transferred to a safe location.”

What can be more safe than a base of S.H.I.E.L.D? If only you knew he had already demolished a whole, giant outpost of them with ease...

“I’ll explain everything to you on the way.” “Let me quickly get the baby.”

“What, did you forget the name of your nephew already?” you chuckled awkwardly, but seeming to have struck a nerve.

Thor was only slowly approaching the crib in which your lovely baby was resting, staring at it with awe while his trembling hand caressed Liam’s cheek.

“Incredible...” he whispered mainly to himself,  as if this wasn’t the thousandth time he would lay eyes upon him. “He’s just like I remember him.”

Something was off.

Of course Thor had a spare key to your flat, but you had never heared him unlock it - he had just kind of appeared in the middle of the room. Could as well be that you had been to invested with something, or buried in thought to notice him, and yet...

“Wait” you stated, making him flinch away from the child and turn around. “My knees are still weak. Help me up first.”

With heavy steps, Thor would force himself away from the crib and towards you again, lending you another hand and easily pulling you up - just for you to point a sharp dagger to his throat.

“Lady Y/N, when did you summo-”

“Shut up!” you hissed, and the god held his hands into the air to assure his goodwill. "Drop the disguse. Now!”

The man let out an amused huff, a taint of green covering his body to revert it back to normal - revealing your husband.

His hair had become longer, and dark rings showed how devastating those past months went by for him. Yet still, he was unmistakingly your husband.

Yet a faint, mad spark in his eyes was what worried you the most.

Now he was holding a knife as well, both circling around the crib with a knife at each other’s throat, as if to dance with each other.

“So it’s really you, Loki?”

“The one and only” he declared, chest swelling with pride at his performance and completely ignoring your hostile undertone. “I missed you painfully, my sweetling.”

He looked to the side where your son was still sleeping soundly, regret clearly visible on his face. “Wha- what name did you give our child?”

“Liam it is.”

The smallest of smiles tugged on his lips, swallowing harshly to surpress the sobs wanting to break free. “Beautiful name. Very well chosen.”

Pain was stretching across your features, desperately trying for the dam of emotions to not break. The dagger in your hand vanished, rather choosing to reluctantly caress his cheek - to make sure this was really him, and not one of his illusions.

And it was really him, leaning into your touch with a content purr. “Yes, my love, just like tha-”

A loud noise drang to his ear, effectively cutting him off. He needed a second to understand that it was in fact you slapping him what caused the interruption.

“Dear, wait, I-” Another hit, this time it was your knee digging into his groin, making him gasp in pain.

With his current power, it would be a piece of cake to block you - yet he knew that after everything that had happened to you, and everything he had done...

...it was what he deserved. So he would allow you to let off some steam.

Yet much to his surprise, you were done already - now grabbing desperately on his cloak and pulling him in for a passionate kiss.

He immediately reciprocated, dropping his weapon as well to embrace you fully, lips mingling with each other over and over again.

Oh, how long had both of you craved for each other?

“Sorry” you panted as your lips finally parted, “Just needed to get that off my chest.”

“Do not apologize, my love” Loki declared, chin resting atop of your head, still no intention to let go off of you. “I deserve far worse than that.”

You looked up to him, the kiss having made something surface in his eyes: So solemn, and incredibly fragile, it made your heart ache.

“Wha- what happened to you? Where have you been all this time?”

Loki’s face contorted at the question, as if the thoughts in his mind were physically painful. But his mind was clouded, unable to make his proper memory resurfacing. “Places far beyond your imagination, dear. And I have learned many things.”

“I-I thought I had lost you...” you ultimatively began to sob, face dug into his chest.

“No” the god whispered softly, his gaze still unwavering. “You always have me. I promise.”

“What now?” you sniveled as he gently pet your head, just as back in good old times. “Where do we go?”

“What do you mean?” Loki’s features creased into a slight frown, “We stay here. There’s no need to leave or flee.”

“Bu-” you hesistantly took a few steps back, to take in his full reaction. “But you’re a wanted criminal, Loki! On Asgard as well as Midgard!”

His manner became more defensive again, glee radiating off of him. “Oh, my sweet, innocent Y/N...still the idealist, I see.”

“And you are still insufferable” you scoffed back, crossing your arms. “What do you mean?”

Actually, you dreaded the answer.

The man seemed to be thinking about many things at once, eyes narrowing before he finally took a hold of your hand, squeezing it ever so slightly when he saw that you were still wearing his ring - even after everything that had happened.

“Y/N, my love, those deaths were a necessary evil.” He tried to peck a quick kiss on your hand, but you pulled away at those words. “The only crime I feel guilty for is having left the love of my life. But don’t you worry, I’ll make up for it.”

He summoned a staff, glowing in the same blue as the tesseract - and much to your terror, his eyes started to adapt to them as well.

“I will create my own kingdom, Y/N! Here on Midgard, with you as my queen! This is what you deserve, my love! You and our child will have everything you desire and more!”

“This is madness, Loki!” It wasn’t the first time he had heared that.

People always treated him wrongly, afterwards wondering why he was trying to create felicity on his own. “Is it?” he croaked, “Is it madness for a person born to rule two kingdoms to create a home he never had?”

His plan did not merit awe or any such feelings he hoped you to have - the only person in the world he thought would understand him.

“Loki, what your parents have done to you is inexcusable, yet-”

“They’re not my parents!” he screamed enraged, eyes then widened in shock that he had raised his voice at you. “My apologies, I...”

“They have kept the truth from you so that you’d never feel different. You know you’re their son, and the Asgardians are your family. You must know that!”

“You speak like mother” he spat, and still Frigga’s words he could not shake off as easily as Odin’s. “There is no going back to that place, and Jotunheim I never had a connection with. You most likely heared that I tried to kill Laufey, yes?”

Nodding in silence, you nervously bit your lip. “Please...” Wrapping your arms around him and placing one ear at his sternum, you could clearly hear how his heart was fighting a war, struggling to decide.

“You can still stop whatever you were gonna do. We can start anew somewhere, lead a peaceful life with Liam. I don’t need wealth or power, and you clearly know any of this wouldn’t give you the satisfaction you’re searching for!”

“As always, you’re right” he grumbled deeply, already regretting what he was about to do. “But it’s not that easy, my naive little dove.”

“No~” With his hand on the back of your neck, he infused a powerful magic inside your body, slowly shutting down your nervous system completely. As careful as possible, he cradled you in his arms and slowly led you to the floor, then proceeding to take his heir.

“The only thing I need for myself is our little family - and I will avenge you by murdering anyone that did you wrong, or tries to separate us again.”

[ethanesimp]

WHEN YOU’RE GONE // D.D.

Pairing: Mob Boss! Damiano David x Mob GN! Reader (it was originally written with a fem! reader so please let me know if you spot any slip ups on my part)

Summary: Soulmates are already a difficult concept to grasp and things don’t seem to get any easier when you like a person who already has a soulmate.

Word Count: 9.8k (it’s so long lakjd)

Warnings: Swearing, death and mentions of it, injuries, angst -lots of it-, it’s a mob fic so violence, smoking, Damiano being kind of an asshole? Me probably using swear words in italian wrong... Just read with caution pls

Masterlist // Taglist link in bio

A/N: If you’ve seen this before, it’s probably because this has been written and posted on my other blog @pparkersbitch as a Tom Holland fanfiction at the beginning of the year (which has now been deleted). It’s the same person and I’m not stealing anyone’s work :) I just like it and wanted to bring it back. I did add/modify some tiny details though. The idea is probably dumb, but I’m sharing anyways.

Taglist: @gretavanfleetlove​ @superchrystaldrug​ @reputationdamiano​​

“This isn’t how I wanted to start my morning,” Your best friend mumbled in a tired voice. You could barely hear him from where you were standing over the sounds the old -and surely broken- coffee machine kept making and the music playing from his phone.

“Well, sucks to be us, huh?” You chuckled and poured coffee on both of your cups as you did a small dance to try and shake the tiredness off your body. You handed Damiano his cup after preparing his coffee the way he liked it, a teaspoon of sugar with a splash of milk, and walked with him to the large office down the hall, “I don’t get why Ethan and Thomas can’t do this instead of us.”

The room was always cold and you seemed to forget about it most of the time since it still slipped your mind to wear a sweater or hoodie over your thin pajama shirt. You grabbed one of the blankets from the small black couch on the corner of the room and wrapped it around your body as best as you could with your free hand. 

You sat down on the chair next to him to have a better look at all the papers and files he had spread out on the desk, “What exactly are we looking for?” You asked with furrowed eyebrows. All those documents were enough to keep you occupied for the whole day if you didn’t work fast enough.

“We are looking for any leads to the drug cartel or its leader. Really anything that can help us find them,” Damiano explained and took a sip of his coffee as he opened the first file. 

You had been trying to track a drug cartel ever since they infiltrated your warehouse and stole some of your products. Damiano’s father had been at both of your necks ever since it happened as if it had been your fault instead of the incompetent guards that were supposed to be guarding the entrance at all times, “I’m sure these are people we’ve made deals with in the past, they wouldn’t have been able to break in otherwise. We’ve always been far too careful for this to be a mere coincidence.”

He removed the gold ring from his ring finger and left it on the jewelry bowl you had placed on his desk. You had known Damiano David and his family for years. For as long as you had known him, the band on his ring finger had been gold, and you hated it. 

That stupid little gold band was a silent reminder that he had met his soulmate and there was nothing to be done about it. For months you had silently hoped and prayed for Damiano to be your soulmate, but any illusion or wish you had of it happening, had vanished the moment you saw the gold ring on his finger for the first time. You later discovered he avoided wearing it on his hand because it put his soulmate at risk of being found, but he still kept it close to him at all times by using it as a necklace.

You avoided wearing yours for an entirely different reason. The black ring and all the stares and words of pity that came with it were saddening and something you didn’t need. While gold was a reminder of love and good luck, black was a reminder that your soulmate was no longer alive and you were doomed to spend the rest of your life alone. You were sure the band had been black for most of your life, or at least that’s how you remembered it.

It was safe to say you were jealous of Damiano’s soulmate, Marlee. Not only was she one of the most beautiful women you had ever met, but she got to have perhaps the most amazing man by her side until her dying day, something you could never have in any way that wasn’t platonic.

You successfully ignored it most days, which wasn’t so hard to do since you had better things to think about most of the time, but nights were always the hardest. In your loud and chaotic life, there was a speck in time where everything quieted and calmed down. During those few hours was when you’d break down and grieve for the person whose name you didn’t even get to know. You’d cry for being stupid enough to fall for someone who wasn’t only your best friend, but who also had a girlfriend.

“Damiano, Y/N?” Marlee’s sweet voice interrupted your train of thoughts. You had been reading the files consciously enough to notice anything unusual, but you had paid no mind to anything else until she walked into the room. You smiled politely at her and waved. 

She walked up to Damiano and he immediately closed all files with any sort of photo that might be too graphic for her to look at. Marlee cupped his face and pressed her lips to his for a few moments that felt like an eternity to you, watching everything from the side as a feeling of jealousy invaded your senses. You did nothing but look at the painting on the wall until they stopped locking lips, which took a bit longer than you would’ve liked.

“Did you two find anything?” Marlee asked once she pulled away from Damiano. He gave her a look you knew as ‘I cannot tell you anything about the mob to keep you safe’. She had been involved with the mob’s administration for most of her life, only after she met Damiano and her father united his mob with Damiano’s did she stop working. 

You had been brought in as a replacement of sorts once Marlee stopped doing any mob business per Damiano’s request. His parents had saved yours from a legal accident, which left you in debt with his family, so you didn’t have much say on whether you’d join the mob or not. 

Something you were grateful for was that Damiano always kept your hands clean. No matter what business it was, he made sure to keep you out of any sort of situation in which you’d have to hurt or get hurt by another member of the mob. Most people that worked for Damiano didn’t have the pleasure of knowing him as the lenient and caring individual he was around you.

You excused yourself after spending a few more minutes flipping through the files in search of something but ultimately found nothing. It was supposed to be your free day, or at least that was what Damiano had promised. Apart from that impromptu search for information at 5 am, he promised he’d have Ethan, Vic, or Thomas help with anything he needed. 

That was why you took the liberty to lock yourself inside your room and put your phone on silent. You desperately wanted to catch up on all the hours of sleep you had lost in between those early morning duty calls and coffee runs. No matter how much you enjoyed spending time with Damiano, you still missed your normal sleep schedule.

-

When you woke up a few hours later, the house was completely silent. The usual chatter coming from the kitchen wasn’t there, neither was the noise of Vic repeatedly firing bullets at the targets in the garden to practice her aim like she did every morning or the soft sound of Thomas softly strumming his guitar as he tried to piece an unplanned melody together with the assistance of Ethan’s drumming.

It wasn’t a Sunday, which meant they weren’t away visiting their families. They were all supposed to be home. That last thought made you nervous and you couldn’t help but wonder if something had happened while you were asleep. Being in the mob, you knew a lot of unexpected things happened all the time and you had to be prepared for them all.

You walked to the door, determined to investigate what was wrong. Your hand was already firmly grasping the doorknob and you were about to undo the lock when someone knocked harshly on the door, startling you. 

Without hesitation, you jumped back and reached for the gun stuffed in one of the drawers nearby, “Y/N? You awake?” 

You let go of the drawer’s handle and your tense body relaxed at the sound of Victoria’s raspy voice, “Fuck, Vic, you scared me,” You spoke as you opened the door to be met with her panicked blue eyes. Your eyebrows furrowed at her worried expression, but before you could ask, she grabbed you by the arm softly and dragged you out of the room.

Once you were in the hallway, you finally heard everything with a lot more clarity. The faint sound of glass clinking before falling to the floor, Thomas’s exasperated shouts, and Damiano’s complaints. You looked at Victoria, expecting an explanation.

“I don’t know what happened,” She began, “One second he was alright, then at like 9 AM Ethan and I heard them fighting. She’s gone and Damiano’s locked in his room, won’t let anyone in. Thomas is trying to get him to talk while Ethan looks for the keys.”

You walked past Victoria and ran up the stairs. Damiano’s room was right above yours. Upon walking up to the third floor of the house, you saw Thomas repeatedly knocking on Damiano’s door. Once he heard footsteps and spotted you, it was like relief washed all over him at the sight of you.

“Do you mind trying?” He asked, “He’s been asking for you,” Thomas added with a sigh as he brushed his messy hair out of his forehead. You nodded and got closer to the door once he got out of the way.

With hesitation, you knocked on the door and patiently waited for a response, which arrived only after you knocked once again, “Vaffanculo, Thomas! Which part of your tiny fucking brain cannot understand that I want to be left alone?”

You flinched at his words and took a long breath as you gathered the confidence to speak up, “I-It’s Y/N, Dami,” You said, loud enough for him to hear you from where he was. You were expecting rejection; if Damiano didn’t want to talk to people who were as close to him as siblings, why would he talk to you? Sure, you were one of his best friends, but he’d known Thomas for longer than he—

Your thoughts were interrupted when Damiano opened the door and quickly dragged you in before slamming it shut once more. For the first few minutes, you stood in silence while Damiano faced the door. You couldn’t see his face or his eyes, so you had no idea what could be going through his mind, so you focused on your surroundings instead. 

The room was a mess, but not more than it usually was. What alarmed you was the shattered glass on the floor as well as the drops of blood that stained the white floor. You looked back at your best friend and noticed that it was dripping from his hand. 

“Damiano,” You called, “Amore, your hand,” He turned to look at you and that’s when you finally saw his red and swollen eyes as well his tear-stained cheeks. His gaze softened once his eyes fell on yours. He choked back a sob and turned away from you once again.

If his hand hadn’t been bleeding, you wouldn’t have hesitated on wrapping your arms around his neck and trying to comfort him. Instead, you ran to his bathroom to grab the first-aid kit. After years of being in the business, treating Damiano’s cuts and injuries wasn’t anything new to you, but you were oblivious as to why he was in such a state in the first place.

Being the person he was, Damiano had learned to conceal his emotions incredibly well to protect himself, even around the people he trusted the most. You had only seen him that shaken once when something had gone terribly wrong. The fact that Marlee was gone too only gave you a worse feeling. The fact that her clothes were all gone from the closet didn’t ease your worried mind either.

Damiano was sitting on the bed patiently waiting for you to return. Once you did, he avoided your gaze and said nothing as you examined his hand. The cuts were all superficial and would surely cure on their own in a few days, which was why you only focused on removing the tiny shards of glass that had stuck to his skin with a pair of tweezers.

Once that was done and you had cleaned the cuts, you wrapped a bandage around his hand once and secured it with a small piece of tape. You sat in silence for a while, you didn’t comment on the sobs that would escape his lips every once in a while or the tears that had started falling down his cheeks.

Instead, you waited until he was ready to say something, “I don’t even know how to tell you this,” Damiano mumbled. His eyes stayed glued to the floor. He seemed… embarrassed to look you in the eye.

“I was finally going to do it this morning, N/N,” He said as a sigh escaped past his lips and he took a small velvet box out of his pocket. He didn’t have to say what was inside the box because you knew exactly what it was. Damiano had been planning on proposing for months, but there was always something that managed to get in the way of completing his goal.

“She went to the bathroom and had left her phone on my bedside table. I was going to get the ring and Y/N… I-I swear to God I didn’t want to look but the messages kept coming, one after the other, the fucking phone wouldn’t stop making noise. Cazzo, she was the one feeding information to the drug cartel and Lord knows to who else,” He said those words in one breath and you had barely been able to catch them all. Damiano threw the box at the wall angrily and from the noise, you didn’t doubt there’d be an indent there.

“I asked her about it and you have no idea how much I wished she’d deny it, but she didn’t even try,” Damiano cried. Unexpectedly, Damiano turned his body around to face yours and wrapped his arms around your waist while he buried his face on your neck.

It took you by surprise, but you said nothing. Instead, you focused on rubbing circles on his back and whispering soothing words into his ear. Part of you knew there was something else going on, even if you didn’t ask. You hadn’t seen Damiano cry in a long time and even then you saw nothing more than just a few tears rolling down his cheeks. What happened with Marlee had truly driven him right to the edge and he couldn’t keep in everything he had been trying so hard to hide.

-

In the four months that followed, you didn’t see Marlee once. She never had the guts to return after Damiano found out about everything she had been doing behind his back. At first, he had been utterly destroyed by her absence, it pained you to see him shut everything and everyone out with the lame excuse that he had work to do. Every single time he did so, you’d quietly sit down and help him despite his complaints. 

He got better though. Once enough time passed, he healed, but all that love he had once felt for her was now nothing more than pure hatred every single time her name was mentioned. You knew better than anyone that it wasn’t the healthiest thing to do, but it didn’t matter how many times you told him so because it never truly changed much.

As for the mob, things seemed to calm down once Damiano and Ethan were able to track down the leader of the drug cartel and get the stolen products back. Everything was too good and too quiet. While your four friends enjoyed all that peace, you couldn’t help but worry about something being wrong. It was a silly thing anyway, there was nothing that gave you even the slightest confirmation that your worry wasn’t just fueled by paranoia, not a single thing.

You should’ve been grateful instead. Your sleep schedule had gotten acceptably regular and there was no more working from 5 am to 10 pm every single day. You also had time to finally sit down and read the books that had been sitting on your untouched shelf ever since the start of the year, just like you were doing at that very moment while the boys were playing poker in the basement and Vic was on a date.

Damiano walked into your room eventually, still smelling like the cigarette he had just been smoking minutes back. He couldn’t help but scrunch up his nose as the smell of lemon incense burning hit his nostrils.

You looked up and giggled at his disgusted expression, “You cannot be disgusted when you were the one who walked into my room smelling like cigar and beer,” Damiano rolled his eyes and plopped down on the bed next to you.

“Incense is bad for you,” You shot Damiano a killer look and closed your book. He gave you a funny look back and then put his attention on your book, “What are you reading anyway?”

You hummed and showed him the cover. It had a beautiful yet simple design, which accurately represented the story hidden in between those pages, “Okay so, it’s the story of these people that all get invited to this island. They’re all summoned there for different reasons but it turns out they all have this common enemy. It’s terrifying because they get killed off one by one when a children’s lullaby plays. I truly cannot explain it enough to do justice to how intense this book is.”

“Oh and before that I got to read the most wonderful romance book! It was apparently the first book written where soulmates weren’t a thing and it was just a piece of art. Beautifully written, made me cry for hours too.”

Damiano smiled and you could almost see all the gears turning inside his brain, “Wouldn’t it be amazing?”

“What would?”

He shrugged and propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look at you, “A world without soulmates, where you’re not bound to someone since birth.”

You sighed and turned to look at him, “It’s our own fault… being bound, I mean. No angel from the heavens came down to tell us we have to love our soulmate as anything more than a close friend, you know? It can be purely platonic, we’re just stupid.”

“Were you ever able to fall in love with your soulmate or was it just platonic?” Damiano asked. You never talked much about soulmates with him. He still didn’t know your soulmate had been dead for as long as you could remember.

“I never got to know them,” You smiled sadly and showed him the black ring you had gotten used to wearing around your neck, carefully tucked under your shirt to stay unseen. His mouth fell open as he grabbed the ring and inspected it closely. It was the first time he had seen a black ring.

“I didn’t know… I’m sorry,” Damiano let the ring go. You shrugged and waved your hand to silently show it wasn’t too important, “I thought you guys were separated or something.”

You shook your head, “Mom says the ring turned black when I was six, but I don’t really remember so I just like to pretend I never had one in the first place… I don’t know.”

There was a question on the tip of your tongue, but you didn’t want to ask it, as intrigued as you were to know the answer. You hadn’t talked about her ever since she left and he’d most likely avoid the question because he truly wanted to keep her name out of his mouth. Nonetheless, he noticed your hesitance because you suddenly got too silent. 

“You can ask, you know? I know I just touched on a sensitive topic, so…” You nodded. Both of you were lying on your backs, looking up at the ceiling which had some of those glow-in-the-dark stars and planets you had glued when you first moved in to feel less lonely.

You hummed softly as you tried to find the right words. You didn’t want to be too straightforward with your question in fear of upsetting your best friend even though he had asked you the same question minutes earlier, “Did-did you ever… you know, fall in love with her?” 

Damiano thought about it in silence, you had probably caught him off-guard with your question, “No, not really. Not in the way I was expecting at least. You know truth be told, I was a bit disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, she had this angelic look to her, she was a stunning girl. I just- there was nothing we had in common other than being soulmates. For years I had seen my parents act like they shared one mind and just thought the same things. I always imagined it’d be like that for me too.

“My expectations couldn’t have been further from what it truly was like. Honestly, I’m not even sure which part of our relationship was true anymore. Now that I look back on it, I’ve realized most of the things she did or said were just to get information out of me.” 

It was weird to hear him say all that. As a person who always got to look at the way Marlee and Damiano interacted with one another, you would’ve never expected Damiano to feel that way, “And,” He continued, “I was expecting it to be someone else.”

His last confession made you turn around to look at him. It was the first time he had admitted that, probably because of the beer he had been drinking while playing with his friends.

“I know it sounds terrible but… I met her and this other person on the same day, almost at the same time. I didn’t notice my ring had turned gold until much later. I had only been with them both and people I already knew. I thought it had been the other person until she told me her ring had changed too. Meanwhile, the other one said nothing. Now I realize it would’ve been impossible for them to be my soulmate.”

It might’ve been because he was telling you all those things and you felt safe to admit what you felt, or maybe because you were tired of bottling it up for so long. Either way, you spoke up, not caring if you’d regret it later, “It’s not as terrible as you might think.”

“Look, I’m not bound to anyone. The black ring gives me the freedom of loving someone else. I never met my soulmate so there’s no guilt in being with someone else. It’s supposed to be a perfect thing, Dami, only it isn’t. I know a lot of people who’re also blacksouled,” You hated using the word. It was usually how people would refer to those who didn’t have a soulmate anymore, “And I fell in love.”

“T-that’s great!” Damiano replied, “Why didn’t you tell me? I mean, not like you’re obliged to tell me anything just because we’re friends but I-”

You interrupted his rant, “I fell in love with someone whose soulmate’s still alive.”

“So what? You said it yourself. Are they together?” He asked. You told him they weren’t. If only he knew you were talking about him… He’d probably run away and never speak to you again, “Then fuck it. Fuck the rules and everything else society has to say.”

“It’s not that simple, Dami. I truly wish it was, but it isn’t,” You wanted nothing more than for the conversation to be over. If it went any further, you knew you’d spill every single thing. It had gotten far too hard to conceal your feelings when you were close to him. Now that you were talking about them, it’d be even harder.

You got up and walked to your bookshelf, where you started accommodating your books as an excuse to avoid being so close to him, to avoid his curious gaze. Even if they weren’t together anymore, you knew Damiano would reject you, that was far too obvious. Even if he felt the same, after what happened, it’d take Damiano a lot of effort to ever trust someone in such an intimate way, even if that someone was you, his best friend.

“Why? It is that simple. If they’re not together, what’s stopping you? You’ll never know what could happen if you don’t try,” You turned around to look at him, fists clenched by your sides, “Listen Y/N, I know you’re scared of relationships and everything they involve but you cannot let that sto—” 

“Fine then, I’m in love with you! I can barely breathe when I’m around you because my love for you is so suffocatingly strong, and I can’t think straight either! You and your stupidly handsome face drive me insane. How’s that?” You admitted, interrupting his small speech midway, too irritated to process what you had just said. Once you did, your hand flew to your mouth and you shook your head. You wanted to say it wasn’t true, no, it was nothing more than a lie to get him to stop poking his nose into your love life. Except it wasn’t and, if you were being honest, no part of you wanted to hide it anymore.

Just like you expected, he said nothing. Damiano stayed silent for a few seconds before getting up and walking out without another word. He slammed the door on the way out so hard you wouldn’t be surprised if the door separated from its hinges.

For the weeks that followed, Damiano avoided you as much as possible. You were still his right-hand person and needed to be present at every meeting and would have to discuss any type of business with him. It used to be your favorite part of the day when you got to sit in the meeting room with Damiano and discuss plans to make the mob prosper, now it was nothing but uncomfortable because you’d do all the talking while he looked at you as if his biggest desire was to carve your heart out with his pocket knife. 

While you understood that he was still mad at Marlee and wanted nothing to do with her, you didn’t understand why he was treating you that way when you had nothing to do with it and weren’t to blame for the stupid shit his ex had tried to pull. You thought he knew that you loved him far too much to ever do anything to jeopardize his safety. Yet again, he might’ve assumed the same thing about Marlee.

You walked out of yet another unsuccessful meeting with Damiano and slammed the door as hard as you could to let him know how much his childish behavior annoyed you. Ethan was standing close to the door and you could see the shadow of a smile that was threatening to break out and illuminate his face, “Don’t you dare,” He raised his hands in defense and bit his lip to try and hide the smile that would just annoy you further.

“You two are starting to act like two teenagers and it’s fucking pathetic,” Thomas chimed in from where he was sitting on one of the couches.

“Yeah? Tell that to your friend who is giving me the silent treatment like a fucking toddler! I just want- I need to have a serious conversation with him,” You admitted and sighed as you fell on the couch right next to Thomas, head in your hands to try and cover up the tears that were threatening to spill down your cheeks.

Both men stayed silent as they watched you, Even though you could feel their stares, you decided to focus on not crying instead. The truth was, the longer Damiano spent ignoring you, the more you regretted telling him what you had been bottling up for years, it had been a mistake there was no coming back from. Unless he decided to stop acting like a kindergartener, things would never go back to the way they were.

It was frustrating to think that your friendship would go to shit just because of your confession. Being rejected by him wouldn’t have been a big deal if he had actually stayed in your room and spoken like the adult he was.

“For the record, I think he’s acting like an idiot because he’s scared,” Sighed Victoria, who had just walked into the room with an ice pack placed over her hand, “I know it’s been a while but, give him time. He’ll come around or I’ll make him, I promise.”

You gave Victoria a tight-lipped smile and nodded. You hoped more than anything that it wouldn’t have to come to getting locked up in the same room as Damiano to get him to speak to you.

Except… as more days passed, you feared it would most likely have to be that way because he was still saying nothing to you. He had only spoken once and it had been to call you out for being doing everything wrong while looking through some important documents when you were, in fact, doing everything just like he had initially requested. Now, not only had he been giving you the cold shoulder, but he had started acting like a complete jerk around you too.

You tried to distract yourself by focusing on all the work you had pending, but it wasn’t working. Every single day, no matter what you were doing, your mind still wandered back to the brown-eyed man and his stupid face, his stupid hair, and stupid smile.

Even as you stood in the middle of the kitchen, your thoughts made it difficult to bake the cookies you had been craving all week. You had started to work on the second batch after the first one came out disgustingly salty because somewhere along the process you had mistaken the salt for the sugar.  

You hated how bothered you were by the whole situation. It had affected you way more than you would’ve liked to admit. Truth be told, you had never felt sad about his rejection because it was something you had expected ever since that attraction for him first settled on your brain. It was the way he was treating you that got on your nerves. 

That was mainly the reason why you were so thankful for being alone in the house at that very moment. Apart from a few security guards here and there, you were completely alone. You allowed yourself to relax for a split second and connected your phone to the speaker system in the kitchen. You started playing one of your favorite playlists before getting back to making cookies the right way this time.

You softly swayed your body along to the music as you dumped all the ingredients on the large bowl in front of you. As you poured the flour in the bowl and mixed it with your hands, you noticed Damiano standing by the door. For some unknown reason, he scared you so bad you accidentally tipped the bowl and made a mess of the counter. 

A frustrated sigh escaped past your lips and you threw your head back, feeling defeated and irritated, “I’m sorry,” Damiano spoke up hesitantly, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You shook your head and wiped your hands on the apron you had tied around your waist, “It’s fine,” You turned around so your back was to him and started wiping the counter with a damp towel. 

“You deserve so much better…” You heard him speak up over the music. His words caught you by surprise. You turned around to look at him but said nothing. You could tell he was nervous by the way his hands trembled by his sides and the way his jaw was firmly clenched.

After a few minutes of hesitation, Damiano started walking to where you were. He placed his hands on the counter by your sides, leaving you trapped in between the counter and his body. You looked into his dark eyes to maybe try and guess what was going through his mind. 

You breathed in so deeply your chest hit his. You gulped at that and tried to control your trembling hands without looking away.

“What you said the other day, did you mean it?” Damiano asked, without hesitation this time around. Your eyes widened.

“I-I… What?”

“Just answer me Y/N, please,” Damiano pleaded. He looked so desperate to know the answer, which only made your blood boil. After weeks of silence, of glares and being a jerk, he dared to just show up and demand answers?

You shook your head and pointed your finger at his chest, “How dare you?” You took a step towards him, which made Damiano take a step back, “You have no right to show up like this and ask me to give you answers after how much of an asshole you’ve been.”

He seemed taken aback by your truthful words, but you didn’t care. If he wanted to know how much truth had been behind your words that night, he’d have to hear it all, “You know I’m your best friend and you also know I’d keep up with anything you do because that’s how much I care about you, but can you stop it? I know I was stupid for telling you because of what you just went through and I’m sorry, but please don’t keep giving me the cold shoulder. I just want to fix this.”

After a few minutes of silence, you shrugged and, like it was the simplest thing in the world, spoke up, “And yeah, I meant every word.”

Your expression softened as you waited for any sort of reaction from Damiano. You expected something similar to what had happened the day you first told him. No part of you expected him to cup your face with his warm, calloused palms to bring your face closer to him once again. 

Neither did you expect to feel his soft lips pressed against yours, or the feeling of his soft hair as you brushed it back with your fingers and your eyes slowly closing as you basked on the joy and pleasure his soft touches caused.

Damiano was gentle as he held your face in between his hands, almost as if you were made of glass and he was afraid of breaking you into pieces if he didn’t hold you delicately enough. That kiss felt so intimate, like nothing you had ever felt before. Everything from the way he held you to his slow movements and touches was so much better than you could’ve ever imagined.

When he pulled away, he left you completely breathless, wordless. There was nothing you could possibly say after the way he had kissed you, so you waited for him to find the right words instead.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Damiano mumbled. He still hadn’t let go of your face, “You truly deserve better. You are so beautiful, so perfect. I’m so sorry for being such an idiot and hurting you, ignoring you. I just- I know I cannot love you as you deserve. Believe me, I want nothing more than to have you close to me all the time, to kiss your lips until you grow sick of me, but I can’t,” His voice was starting to crack as he said those words to you and you knew it was because of how he saw your face fall.

“No, no, shut up and listen to me,” You pleaded and placed your hands on top of his. You gave them a soft squeeze and let your forehead rest against his, “I know it’s hard for you to trust after what happened with her and I know it’s not going to be easy, but believe me, I’m willing to try if you are, Damiano.”

“You were that other person,” He confessed and got closer to kiss you once more, with as much passion as the last time. You were too concentrated on the smell of his musky cologne and the faint taste of vanilla chapstick he had surely stolen from your room to respond to his comment.

His hands fell from your face and comfortably rested on your hips as his lips attacked yours. Damiano pushed you against the counter and kept savoring the moment as if it were the first and last time he’d kiss you like that. You hoped for your sake it wouldn’t be the last.

Damiano pulled away reluctantly and unexpectedly lifted you up so you’d sit on the counter. He stood in between your legs and intertwined his fingers with yours.

“Remember when I told you about the person I met the day I met Marlee?” You nodded, “That was you... Ever since I met you I’ve felt this inexplicable attraction towards you and it’s been driving me insane. I couldn’t believe it when you told me you loved me because I’ve done nothing to deserve it.”

“You’ve done so much to deserve it, so so much,” You mumbled and brought him close to you to kiss him for the third time. It was such an addicting feeling and both your heart and mind were screaming to feel it again.

That time around, Damiano didn’t hesitate to lift you up once more, he carried you to his room and locked the door.

— 

It had been a few weeks since your conversation in the kitchen. Things returned back to normal after that night. Other than your relationship with Damiano, things were the same again. You had to go back to working at ungodly hours of the morning thanks to some suspicious activity Ethan had noticed. Apparently, one of the oldest members of Damiano’s mob had tried to establish a deal with an unknown subject but had been caught before he could accomplish it. 

This put you both on edge because there was someone out there desperate to break into the mob and finish it for good. At first, you thought it wasn’t more serious than whatever had happened with Marlee, but Damiano’s father proved you wrong the moment he brought you, their most loyal employee, in for questioning. 

It had been nothing too serious, at least not in comparison to what you had heard others say. In your case, it had been done mostly as a standardized protocol, to stop others from thinking there was some sort of preference or special treatment towards you just because you worked so close to Damiano. You knew almost everything Damiano did, so you were possibly the greatest source of information outside the David family and their small circle of friends.

“Amore?” Damiano asked softly as his hand caressed the exposed skin of your waist. You had been cuddling in bed for almost two hours with the excuse that you needed a break after all the hard work you’d done, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

You turned around to be face to face with him and pressed a kiss to his freckled nose, “Not much. I was just remembering I need to get my ring resized again. I tried putting it on a few days ago and it didn’t fit anymore.

Damiano frowned at your words, “Your soulmate ring?”

“Mhm,” You responded simply and let your head rest on his chest. You enjoyed the feeling of warmth his body irradiated, it was soothing and the soft sound of his rhythmic heartbeat never failed to make you feel calmer.

“Soulmate rings don’t need to be resized, ever. Not that I know of, at least,” Now it was your turn to frown because, as far as you remembered, you had always gone to get your ring resized by a family friend who didn’t live too far away. No one had ever told you it wasn’t necessary.

You pulled away from his embrace and reached for the bedside table where you had been keeping the ring for the past few days. Once you turned back around, Damiano looked confused and almost scared, “Just, out of curiosity, tesoro. Have you ever taken off the ring and left it like far away for longer than a few hours?”

A giggle escaped past your lips at his silly question, “It’s just a piece of jewelry, Dami. Of course, I have, several times.”

You laughed nervously once you saw his horrified expression. Damiano was starting to scare you, but you knew better than to say something because you’d end up looking like a fool if he started laughing and told you it was all a joke. Except, it didn’t seem like one.

“Please get dressed and meet me in room five, okay? I might be going insane but I just need to make sure I’m not,” Before you could ask any questions, Damiano had already grabbed a pair of pants and a t-shirt and disappeared into the bathroom to get dressed.

You tried not to think much about his weird questions and got dressed quickly instead. You grabbed your cup of tea, which had already gone cold, and walked to meeting room five.

You opened the door and were surprised to see all your friends already sitting around the small table you’d use for informal meetings. Thomas and Victoria looked tired and Ethan’s long hair was tangled and messy. That gave you the impression that Damiano had most likely woken them all up for your impromptu meeting. 

They all looked just as confused as you felt. There were a lot of questions you wanted to ask, but Ethan beat you to it, “Okay, now that we’re all here can you fucking explain why you had to wake me up? Please.”

“Have any of you three—,” Started Damiano, referring to Thomas, Victoria and Ethan, “—tried to take off your ring for a while but have started feeling sick and weird?”

Thomas and Victoria looked at each other, confused, but nodded. Ethan did after a few seconds of thinking about it, “Yeah, there was actually this one time I went on a date and I didn’t want the girl to see the ring had turned gold, so I left it at home. Thirty minutes later I was puking everywhere. I didn’t really understand why but someone at the Soulmate Centre explained rings are an extension of the soul and they need to be close to us at all times and there are actually records of people dying after losing their rings. Why?”

Damiano looked at you and raised his eyebrows to silently ask if he could share the information with the other three guys. Once you nodded, Damiano spoke up, “Y/N doesn’t need to have it close to them and they need to get it resized every once in a while.”

Ethan shrugged his shoulders, “That’s as far as my knowledge goes. I don’t know. I think the best thing you can do is go to the SC.”

You sighed but nodded. Ethan’s explanation had started to freak you out. What if there was something terribly wrong with you? What if you were born without a ring and your parents lied to you all your life?

— 

After having a short conversation with Damiano in private, you decided to follow Ethan’s advice and go to the Soulmate Centre that was only a few minutes away from your house. He wanted to go with you or send someone to watch over you but had accepted your petition to go alone after you told him it was a private matter and you'd tell him all about it once you got back.

So there you were, on the reception of the SC, with your sweaty hands intertwined together as you tried to ignore all the dirty looks people were giving you. Everyone around knew exactly who you were and most weren't one bit pleased to see you there. While some didn't hesitate to look at you like they wanted to kill you, others were afraid to do so.

Those few minutes that passed until the lady at the desk called your name were some of the most uncomfortable of your life. Some part of you hated having the mobster title because that usually gave people the wrong idea and drove them to hate you even if you could proudly say you had done nothing illegal or violent in your whole life. You had to admit the mob wasn’t an ideal job to have morally wise, but you had found a family inside those four walls others doomed to be cursed.

You walked up to the lady. She had what you could interpret as a nervous smile as she stood behind the desk, patiently waiting for you to tell her what had brought you there in the first place. You were hesitant to communicate your issue because you were mortified of finding out a truth that should probably stay hidden.

You reached back and unclasped the chain the ring was looped through. You left it on the counter and smiled softly as you shyly spoke, “So uh, good morning, ma’am. I was hoping you could take a look at my ring, I’m slightly concerned there was something wrong with it.”

The lady nodded and removed the ring from the chain. She inspected it closely for a few minutes before nodding her head towards one of the rooms that said ‘only employees allowed’. She started walking towards it with a quick step and you saw no other choice but to follow right behind her.

She opened the door and quickly closed it with a lock once she verified you were inside, “Listen, the only reason I’m not turning you over to the authorities is because you don’t strike me as someone stupid enough to walk into an SC with a soulmate ring like this.”

Your jaw dropped in surprise at how direct she was being. For a second, you noticed her face fall before she realized it was best to keep a face that communicated seriousness instead of begging for your forgiveness or whatever people did when they pissed Damiano off.

“I don’t know who gave this to you or in which illegal market you bought this but if a higher authority sees you with this, not even Damiano David could save you from the consequences of sporting a fake ring,” She said. You honestly didn’t know how to respond because panic had started to drown out any coherent thought that tried to form on your mind.

You didn’t even try to disguise your panicked expression that time around. Instead, you focused on regulating your breathing and trying to keep all your emotions at bay before you lost control and began to hyperventilate. The other woman noticed your distress almost immediately and led you to sit down on one of the couches.

After you took a few deep breaths, you looked back at her, eager to ask thousands of questions, “How can you know they are fake?”

She sat down next to you and put the ring on your palm, “Look at the inside,” She demanded while pointing her finger to a spot on the inside edge of the ring, “They usually have something engraved inside, a code that only repeats itself twice. Whenever one loses their soulmate, this code vanishes. Your code is still there. I also used a detector to confirm my suspicions and it detected nothing.”

“And with… with that code, can you tell me if my soulmate’s still alive? Or who they are?” The older lady looked at you with pity in her green eyes and shook her head.

“Unless this is the original code engraved on the real ring, there’s not much I can do for you other than telling you how your soulmate is. I need so much more information to ever give you a name,” You nodded in understanding. All you needed to know was if they were alive, that’s all you wanted.

She took your nod as a sign of approval and disappeared into another room. While you waited, you couldn’t help but secretly hope they were dead. You wanted all those weeks of bliss you had spent with Damiano to last a lifetime. He knew everything about you, from the number of scars scattered around your body to what book you had read the most times. No soulmate could learn that about you until years after meeting each other. Besides, it wouldn’t feel right. The Gods had already been too cruel for not making him your soulmate, but now that he wasn’t with Marlee and you knew he loved you just as much as you loved him… 

She walked out of the room and cleared her throat to catch your attention. You were thankful for her interruption because you were mere seconds away from bursting into tears of distress. She looked nervous to tell you what she had found out, but the way you looked at her made her spill the truth without any warning.

“Your soulmate is still somewhere out there, alive.”

— 

Damiano clutched his side with his hands as every type of curse word spilled from his mouth, “Thomas! Dammit Thomas, where the fuck are you?” He screamed and pushed the ache in his throat and side to the back of his mind as he limped towards the table where his loaded gun was placed, ready to be grabbed and shot. 

Things had been perfectly fine just ten minutes back. He had been drinking and playing pool with the boys in the basement. They were all laughing and messing around when Victoria heard the first gunshot. Thomas had been quick to dismiss it as one of the guards practicing his accuracy like they did every once in a while, so they went back to playing the game.

Then they heard it again and again and again. In that time it took the four men to walk up the stairs, people had already successfully broken into the house and they were shooting at anything that moved. The blood-red snake symbol all these people had on the masks that were covering their faces was one he had grown far too familiar with. These were the people Marlee had been conspiring with and they had managed to overthrow every single line of defense in between them and the front door.

Damiano had been in his room fetching a gun when a smoke bomb was thrown into the room. It had stopped him from seeing the person who shot him. Thankfully enough, their vision wasn’t much better either, because the bullet only grazed his side. It was still painful as hell and blood was pouring out of the wound, but it wasn’t going to be anything deadly. 

He finally got ahold of his gun after minutes of feeling around the table to try and spot it with the low amount of vision he still had. Once Damiano had it in his hands, he raised the scarf he was wearing to cover the lower part of his face to try and lower the quantity of smoke he inhaled.

He walked out of his room and into the hallway, still holding the gun firmly ready to shoot it at the first person he saw with that red symbol. Damiano opened the door to every room on the third floor. He had to shoot at one or two people before walking down to the floor below. The first room he opened was yours. His eyes went wide as he remembered you were still supposed to be at the SC. Damiano cursed under his breath. He needed to warn you not to come back but to go to your parents’ instead. Damiano opened the tracking app first, a precaution he had been insistent on taking just to make sure you both knew the other was safe. 

“Fucking hell,” Damiano mumbled as he saw that blue dot with your name above it was right on the same spot as his. You were back home.

Every thought of investigating each and every room to make sure there was no intruder flew out the window and instead he focused on trying to find you. Everything had turned chaotic on those few minutes he had been in your room, which was why it had gotten harder to get around without finding someone waiting on almost every corner for him to appear.

Damiano heard a piercing scream that made his blood go cold. You were in danger somewhere inside the large home and he desperately needed to get to you, to make sure you were safe from any danger. He knew his friends would be perfectly fine, they had their guns and several types of weaponry close-by, but he knew you didn’t. You always refused to take a gun or dagger with you whenever you went out and if they had caught you right when you had just gotten back… you’d most likely have nothing to defend yourself with.

There was no doubt in his mind that you were witty and incredibly smart, not to mention agile and great at coming up with plans on the spot, but he still needed to make sure you were alright. 

He got down on the first floor and his eyes met with a pair of blue ones he knew far too well. He let his eyes trail down to her carmine-tinted shirt. Marlee smiled at him and trailed her thumb along her jawline. That’s when he noticed her hands were also red and she had also left a trail of bloody footsteps from his office to where she was standing. His office.

Damiano didn’t hesitate to point the gun at her leg and pull the trigger. He then aimed for her other leg and shot it. She fell to the floor as an agonizing scream fell from her parted lips. Damiano was satisfied now that her stupid smile had been wiped right off her face.

He quickly ran to the office and opened the door. What he saw inside made time stop. It made all those sounds go silent. It made him feel like there was no floor beneath him to stand on. You were lying on the floor, a dagger piercing your chest.

You looked panicked, sad, like you wanted to do nothing but scream and cry, which you had started doing the moment you saw Damiano walked into the room. He didn’t know if your reaction was out of relief or if there was something else that concerned you, apart from the obvious.

“Damiano,” You spoke up weakly, The sound of your raspy voice was like a slap back into reality. He didn’t waste a second to fall to his knees right by your side. Damiano cupped your face with his trembling hands and brushed your cheek with his thumb.

“Shh. I’m here amore, I’m here,” He responded voice barely above a whisper, “I just need to find something to press against this wound I— something…” He stood up, ready to look for a rag, bandages, anything to stop the blood from rushing out of your body so quickly, but you stopped him.

You wrapped your hand around his arm and with all the strength you had brought him back down, “No hey, stop,” You mumbled, “Unless she happened to study every major artery, vein or has awfully perfect aim, I’ll be dead in minutes.”

He shook his head and wiped the tears that were starting to fall with the back of his hand. He was not giving up. Damiano was not going to let you die, “Wait, no, no. I can do this,” Damiano took his sweater and scarf off. With the help of his scarf, he applied pressure to the wound, careful not to move or dig the dagger further with his movements.

You shook your head and Damiano couldn’t help but cry harder at the desperation and panic in your eyes, “Please, Dami. Stop it, there’s no use. I-I just want you to hold me, please.”

He wiped his runny nose with the back of his hand and nodded repeatedly as he careful cradled you in his arms and moved your head to rest on his lap, “Everything’s going to be okay,” Damiano mumbled and left a long kiss on your forehead, then another one on your cheek and a last one on your lips.

You cupped his face with one of your hands and wiped the tears with your thumb. There wasn’t much left to say, not like you’d be able to talk even if you tried. Instead, you offered him one last sincere smile with all the energy you had left. 

He watched in horror as life slowly started to drain out of you as his ring simultaneously turned black. Damiano sat there for minutes after you were gone. He cried and let every frustration, confusion, and pain escape his body with a loud scream.

Damiano didn’t let go of your body until Victoria and Thomas had to forcefully pull him away and let someone else take care of you.

— 

Ethan didn’t walk into the room until he made sure every single intruder had been killed, except for Marlee, because Damiano had asked to keep her alive. When he did walk in, all he saw was Damiano with a folder in his hand and multiple pieces of paper scattered around the desk in his room. He looked pale, mortified by everything he was reading. The long-haired man didn’t understand what had gotten his friend in such a state of shock until he walked closer and looked at what seemed to be a contract.

You were Damiano’s soulmate. All your lives you had been tricked into believing you weren’t meant for each other. Your parents had made you believe you had no soulmate and Damiano had been fooled into thinking Marlee was his. You had gotten right to the bottom of it all and the secret would’ve gone to the grave with you if you hadn’t left the papers lying on his desk and if he had left his ring on the pocket of his jeans like he usually would. But now it was far too late to do anything about it.

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | fourteen

> series masterlist | series playlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 2.7k

warnings: cussing/mature language, overthinking, insecurities, questioning feelings/thoughts

notes: please look out for chapter 15 - it’ll be the final chapter for this series, however, you’ll get to choose your decision. ☺️ thanks as always for all the love!

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead@bluesharksandfish@photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1​ @thebeebi​ @brightcolorsoffendme​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

Close to a month had passed since you had seen Jin during that rainy night. Close to a month had passed since he quit being your creative writing professor. Close to a month had passed in complete silence and you still longed for him.

Close to a month had passed and your feelings hadn't changed.

Jin was in the same position, being that he was keeping his word and waiting for you until you were ready. He had quit because he honestly couldn't keep seeing you in class and he knew it wouldn't be a good idea with where his feelings were at for you. He only thought of the time to come, even if the light seemed to get weaker as the weeks passed on. He still had hope that you two would be okay. It also gave him a little bit more time to get himself together, clean up the empty space in his home and focus on his other job with all the deadlines he had to meet. He felt lonely, but he knew he had to put himself in this position in order to confirm where he stood with you and everything else.

He had seen Grace last week when she came to grab the last of her things, putting her movers to rest. It wasn't the best reunion, but she had flatly told him she was leaving for New York to continue improving her restaurant there before opening her Nevada location. He had given her his apologies and told her he wished her the best of luck, but she shook her head and told him to save it. She also told him that she hoped he was happy with how everything turned out and that you two definitely deserved each other for how selfish you both were. Jin quietly took it as he watched her stomp off to her car with a box of things in her hands.

Okay then. What else can he say?

He stands in his backyard, sipping on some coffee before he hears his front door open and shut. The individual comes beside him but leaves enough space in between and doesn't make eye contact.

"I'm only doing this because mom told me so." Jungkook says, his hands dug deep into his sweat pockets as he looked out at the view.

"Thanks anyway."

"So, why did you call me here?"

"Want anything to eat or drink?" Jungkook looks at him and shakes his head.

"I don't plan on staying long." Jin sits on one of the chairs, with Jungkook following suit.

"I just want to say I'm sorry that I wasn't a better brother to you, and that I didn't take your feelings into consideration." Jungkook presses his lips firmly together before slowly nodding.

"I appreciate that."

"I—" Jin sighs. "I know I was selfish, and it was wrong for me to not be upfront with you, or Grace like I should have been in the first place." Jin shakes his head. "I was just caught up—Still caught up." He catches himself. "I felt so much happier that I pushed everything else aside. I hadn't felt that way in awhile." Jungkook honestly agrees, he knows the feeling. But also, he noticed the change in Jin and wasn't sure what it was. He was happier around his friends. Full of life. Like he looked forward to every day. And he liked seeing that in him. He hadn't felt that kind of happiness and confidence radiate from his brother in awhile, and if someone was pulling the best out of him, then he couldn't even be mad at it. Yeah, he was hurt, but Jin had done so much for him as they were growing up that he only wanted him to be happy in the end. He wanted Jin to take care of himself first and foremost, since he had always been taking care of everyone else around him - Grace included. So no, he couldn't hate him, nor could he stay mad.

"I get where you're coming from, I really do. And I forgive you, but I can't say that I'm over it. It hurt pretty badly coming from you, especially."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that. You're my little brother, you know you come before everyone else." A small smile crept up on the corner of Jungkook's lips.

"You're a lot happier." Jin looks at him. "I can see how happy she makes you." Jin doesn't respond and simply sips his coffee.

"She does. Except, I'm not sure where I stand with her anymore."

"Why?"

"She's overwhelmed with everything going on." Jin shakes his head. "I don't know if her feelings for me are strong enough to overcome that."

"I think they are. I mean, obviously you were worth it to her, right?"

"Sure."

"Okay, it's not gonna be the easiest for me to talk about, but, coming from me as your brother, I don't think you should give up on it, especially if you both mean something to each other throughout all of this. I think the thing that matters most here is what you really want. I don't blame you for all of it, even though I came off pretty harsh. You've been taking care of me and everyone else around you that I think you should finally take care of yourself." Jungkook stares out at the view.

"I don't know, it's difficult."

"What's difficult about it?"

"I just don't want people to look down on her and I think that's what she's afraid of."

"Fuck 'em." Jungkook shrugs. "It'll take a bit for everyone to get passed it, but fuck it. You're the only one who truly knows her and again, I think that's all that matters. I mean from what I know, besides all of this, she's a really good person." Jungkook sighs. "Smart, beautiful, funny, caring."

"That she is."

"Then?"

"I don't know how else to tell her that, or prove to her. We haven't talked these past weeks."

"Maybe she just needed this time, but I wouldn't let her get away like that."

"I guess. I just don't wanna force her, or be on her case." Jin's head hangs low. He really missed you, but he wasn't going to press you and be on your case. He wasn't that type of guy, even though this shit drove him crazy.

"Look." Jungkook places his hand on Jin's shoulder. "You're always gonna be my brother and I'll always love you regardless of the dumb shit you pull. Do this for yourself. The least you could do is try, and if it doesn't work out, then you can say you tried."

"Thanks." Jin smiles toothlessly.

"One day, I'll get back at you though. I won't forget it." Jungkook playfully punches his arm, causing Jin to slightly yelp.

"Please, nothing physical. You're so much stronger than me." Jungkook smiles at him before pulling him into a hug.

"Everything will be alright, Jin."

"I hope so."

You poked at your slice of banana bread at the dining table before lazily swirling the spoon in your coffee cup. You had spent the weekend at your parents' home, just to get some good, quality family time in. It helped you get your mind off of a lot of things and get your priorities straight. It also reminded you of who the most important people in your life were. But even with all of this, your mind still lingered to Jin every once in awhile - wondering if he was okay, how he was doing, what he was up to.

If he still loved you. If he still wanted you.

Majority of you felt like you'd never figure it out with the radio silence over the last couple of weeks. Maybe this was just it. And you were trying to come to terms with it. Be mentally prepared to accept the fact that this was just it. Even though you were just able to fully come to terms with the fact that you had loved him that night Jimin had stayed with you, listening to you cry over and over again.

"You doing okay, sweetie?" Your mom sat next to you at the table, giving you a small, reassuring smile. Your parents were amazing, and you had a strong relationship with the both of them. However, your mother had always been your confidante, the parent you could go to for anything and everything without having felt judged or anything like that. She never scolded you, never angrily got upset at you for the dumb mistakes you've made. Instead, she's always lent a warm, gentle hand and reassured you that things would always be okay. That you'd grow from the experience and that it was only up from there.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Things still clouding your mind?" You stayed silent before you looked up at her. You hadn't said much about Jin this weekend because the whole point was to stay away from it all before having to go back to your lonely apartment and face your thoughts again. But, this afternoon, before having to leave, you just needed to hear the reassurance from your mom. You needed her this weekend.

"Mom, when did you know you loved Dad?" She chuckled a bit.

"I knew I loved him when I realized he never ran off during arguments or hard times. He gave me space, but he was always there, ready to fix things. Never gave up. It made me long for him all the time. He was the only one I'd look for, even after I had just called him stupid or ridiculous." You let out a small laugh.

"That's cute." She nods, but she doesn't say anything else for a bit. Gives you a little time to ponder on her response and sit there. But at the same time, she's reading you and she's reading your body language. A mother just knows.

"Honey, whoever he is--" She pauses before she switches up her statement. "--If you haven't been able to get your mind off of him, maybe that's telling you something."

"What? How do you know?"

"I just do. I'm your mother." You sat there for awhile, poking your banana bread more before you drop your fork and look at her with your teary eyes.

"Mom, I think--" You sniff and quickly wipe your nose. "I messed up big time." She shook her head.

"If there's a will, there's a way." She softly says before you start to tell her about every single thing that had been occupying your mind. How you had a new professor that you had a harmless crush on. How that eventually spiraled out of control and things got further than you both had expected. Grace. His engagement. Seeing him during late nights, the secret calls. The LA trip. Jungkook. How he told you he loved you. Everything.

You just needed to lay this out on the table.

And yet, your mom never judged you. She sat, listened and held your hand the entire time. Caressing your hand and brushing the hair out of your face as you cried and told her you felt stupid for doing such a thing, but you loved Seokjin. You had fallen in loved with him and there was no going back for you. Not after Chance. You had opened yourself up to him and let him in even though you've tried your hardest to take it easy. To let yourself fully heal from losing Chance.

You couldn't help it. Even though you were afraid.

"Ohh, babygirl." She says softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "I know it hasn't been easy, and it's not the best situation to be in, but if you're still looking for him after all of this--" She pauses. "If he's still waiting for you to be ready, maybe it's just meant to happen that way. You shouldn't stop yourself just because you're afraid. You might regret that more."

"I know." You sniffed. "But it just feels so messed up, you know? Even though that's how I feel about him, I feel like I'll never over overcome the anxiety or the what if's."

"The circumstances weren't the greatest, I'll tell you that. But you can't help who you fall in love with, right? Whether it turns out good or bad, your paths cross for a reason. Whether it's a blessing or another lesson to learn from. And from what I hear, it sounds like he was at least able to make you happy and pull you out of this dark hole you had been living in since Chance passed." She says looking at you, worry filling her eyes. She gently caresses your hand with her thumb before letting out a small sigh. "I know Chance's passing was the hardest thing you have ever had to endure, and I know it has been incredibly hard to pull yourself out of the dark since then. It's been hard to see you go through this."

"Jin did make me happy. I felt wanted."

"But, is that enough for you?" You shrug. "Honey, all I want is for you to stop shielding yourself from the world and living in the shadows. I know it's been difficult, and I know Chance was everything to you. But, he would have wanted you to be happy, okay?" She nods reassuringly. "He would have wanted that for you and so much more. No matter what that means - if you stay with Jin, or if you go and focus on yourself. Let yourself live and be happy, baby. It's okay." You let the remaining tears fall as you nod in agreement with her. Suddenly, a huge weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, hearing it come from your own mother.

Let yourself live and be happy, baby. It's okay.

It's almost like you can hear Chance's voice coming through and that's what makes you feel at peace.

And so, you pack up your things to head back over to your apartment, feeling 10x more refreshed than when you got here. You hopped into your car, debating if you'd send Jin a text before getting home.

[ryujin] 3:37pm: hey, are you almost going home?

[y/n] 3:38pm: just about to leave to head back. what's up?

[ryujin] 3:39pm: nothing, baby! just drive safely for me. i'll see you when you get back? text me if you wanna go somewhere.

[y/n] 3:40pm: okay! but aren't you with namjoon?

[ryujin] 3:41pm: yessss and? he can wait. lol

[y/n] 3:42pm: jeez lol don't do that to him! i'll text you later though if anything. have fun! be safe!

Over the weeks, Ryujin was able to tell you about the time she spent time with Namjoon and how she unexpectedly spent the night at his place before picking you up at the airport. You watched as she told you the details, the rosy tint filling her cheeks as she blushed and smiled from ear to ear. It made you happy that she was happy, and that she was exploring things with him. You didn't know much about him personally, but from what you've heard, he sounded like a great guy. You wanted a good guy for your bestfriend, someone who could appreciate her for who she is - a loud, tiny-but-packed-with-attitude, smart, beautiful woman.

You figured you'd text Jin when you get settled at home. It'll at least buy you some time to formulate the text, and what you'd say when you see him in person. It's a nice day out and it's contributing a lot to the calmness you're starting to feel. Things feel like they're falling into place, even though you hadn't had a chance to talk to Jin yet. Things just felt better than they have been in awhile.

You get to your apartment building and park in your assigned space before grabbing your things out of the trunk. Your duffle had gotten a lot heavier, being that your mom shoved some of the things she had bought you into the bag, plus an additional bag full of groceries. You slowly walked into the building and towards your floor, only to be greeted by an individual standing in the hallway, looking towards the opposite end of the hallway.

In front of your door.

"Jin?" You ask as he slowly turns around, his expression warm and inviting. He carried a huge bouquet of flowers in front of him, so huge it almost covered that small smile he gave off.

"Y/N."

[snapefiction]

#1. Mistletoe - Snapemas Challenge

A/N: Hey there! 🎄🎅🏻

@deepperplexity inspired me to finally publish some Writings by inventing the Snapemas Challenge! So please enjoy and let me know what you think! 😊I’m so nervous ahhhhh I hope you like it!

❤️ Please remember that English isn’t my native language and that my Writings will include Mistakes and maybe weird formed sentences. ❤️ pls don’t hate me

Pairing: Severus Snape x Teacher!Reader

Warnings: Kissing

Word count: 1959

#1. Mistletoe or The Bells

Teaching at Hogwarts was more of an adventure than you always expected it to be. Even though Albus loved rules and well known processes there was a lot of stuff that had surprised you. Like he’d almost always support your Teaching unconditionally. So he also didn’t mind when you let the Students buy stuff from the Weaslys and test it in your classes. It was like he trusted you with everything and the same went for the Students themselves. As long as everyone was happy almost everything was allowed. Of course there were some rules like Bedtimes, Common Room Rules etcetera but besides that you were free to be.

So it happened that on the first of December the Weaslys got to show off their new Products and spells they used to sell to the students. Everyone loved them and you had to admit you loved their Products too. They were funny, made everyone laugh and you always got to make sure that everything they wanted to publish didn’t cause any harm towards other students before they would sell them in your classes.

,,So what are your new Inventions?“ You smiled as you sat down on your teaching desk facing all the Students after class. But the Weaslys had other some other things in mind.

,,Well, Professor. This Time we decided to publish something big we had planned since a long time now. But you have to wait until Dinner. Our showdown will take place at the great Hall. Be prepared.“ They smiled devilish and sold some Gummy bears that made you fart and one that could morph you into an elve for the rest of the day.

Watching the spectacle you got excited for Dinner. You and Minerva always love to laugh about the joking products and laughing with and friend would make it double fun.

As you finally sat down to Minerva you could, as always, feel your heart pound. Next to her sat Severus Snape, the Potions Master. Knowing him since your childhood you always had those butterflies in your stomach whenever you were close to him, thought about him, were with him. He tolerated you and that was enough you thought. He had a rough childhood and his behaviour was probably just a facade to protect himself, you explained to yourself. Sighing you accepted the Fact that he wasn’t truly aware of your existence now even though you used to be friends. And after the Dinner ended you looked over to the Weaslys being excited like a child. They finally got to present their new spells now. ,, Oh dear, this will be fun.“ Minevera whispered and then chuckled lightly. Your eyes followed the Wands of George and you tried to read his lips so you could memorise the spell for later. As a sparkle left his wand and nothing happened you furrowed your eyebrows. Maybe this Spell wasn’t as clever as their other ones. ,,Hm, Maybe next time.“ You smiled towards Minevera and got up as she just shrugged her Shoulders and drank some of her remaining wine from her cup. 

Walking down the great Hall I almost didn’t notice how someone followed me to the dungeons. It wasn’t just some Students like the Weaslys, some younger Ravenclaws and two other Gryffindors you didn’t knew but also Severus. Friendly you send him a smile and tried not to bother him with any type of smalltalk knowing he hated it. ,,Professor.“ You just greeted him while trying to hide your red cheeks. Suddenly a small reddish shimmer appeared from above your heads.  Of course you stopped to look up, the same for Severus. His dark eyes followed yours looking in the Air about your heads. There was a mistletoe with small lights flying around.

Confused and blushing harder than ever you looked over to see Severus standing there ashamed as well. ,,Was this y-you, Severus?“ Before he could answer you could hear the chuckles of the Students behind you at the corridor and then it hit you. ,,Fred and George Weasly! What did you do?“ Your Voice almost broke from the Anger you had to hide. Laughing they got closer. ,, It’s— It’s like a Love Spell, Professor.“ They almost couldn´t remain serious as chuckles left their mouthes every few seconds.  ,,The Mistletoe will only appear over the Head of People who would be a pretty good match or are in love with each other.“ Stated George proud and Fred just nodded. Furious about the fact that they would embarrass your feelings like that you could feel your face burning. It must’ve been burning red as if flames had hit your skin. Before you could find an matching answer Severus intertwined.

,,Detention and deduct 20 Points from Gryffindor. Now end this Spell before I make you loose even more Housepoints.“ He said sternly. ,,There´s this little Problem, Professor Snape.“ George began. ,,We haven’t developed and Antidote or anything like that.“ Fred ended. ,,Merlin! Why would you Dunderheads use an spell you don’t have an Antidote for?“ He was fuming. Was he as embarrassed as I was? ,,That’s Easy. Because it´s the feast of love. Christmas is around the Corner.“ Again Fred spoke before his Brother could end the Sentence. ,,But maybe a kiss would help making it vanish.“ George winked and they walked away giggling and giving each other high fives. Not being able to move a muscle you still stood on the sam place as before feeling glued to the ground. As you felt a small wave of air hitting your glowing Cheeks you noticed how Severus rushed away. The Situation just happened like it was a Scene of a Movie you weren’t a part of. Kissing Severus- just the though could give you goosebumps and take your breath away in an instant.. As your feet got going again it felt like waking up from and Daydream. Did this really happen? You quickly entered your room and noticed how there was still a small red light above your head in the air.  A good Match? Being in love? Rude to expose you like that. They must’ve been kidding. The Spell would probably wear off at the Evening before bedtime or something, right?

Surprise, Surprise- it didn’t wore off. And after you took a shower, graded some tests and tried to get your mind of the Professor you clearly were deeply in love with it still sparkled and you swore you could hear small Christmas bells ring from time to time. Annoyed and still embarrassed you could feel this well restlessness in your chest. Maybe if you tried to sleep you could turn off your Thoughts and this dammed Spell for once. But there was no mercy for you.

The Light only went brighter and the Bells were now clear to hear. Shoving around between your duvets the just named restlessness grew bigger. Sighing your got up on your feet again. Maybe a small walk could tire you. As you laid your Jacket above your shoulders and slipped into your shoes you made your way down the corridors. In the meanwhile as you tried to forget the Situation that you unintentionally became a part of after lunch it became midnight. Everything was quiet, but the bells. Reaching your favourite Place of Hogwarts you couldn’t stop smiling. The small hidden field which lead over to a view up to the mountains was covered in snow was beautiful. Only a few People knew that this Place existed because it got so well hidden from everyone. This made this place even more special for you. It was so untouched, so pure. Indulging in your Thoughts you started you build small snow figures. A Small snowman, something that looked like Hagrid and a Niffler were now placed in the small garden field. The red light lead you though every movement and guided you though your process. Laying down to make a snow angle you closed your eyes for just a second. But as you heard snow crunching behind you you instantly turned around. Your Heart beat so fast it almost imploded.

Severus stood a few meters behind you. Thank god it wasn’t a murderer or something. ,,Oh Merlin, you scared me.“ A few seconds later as your heart slowed down again you noticed how Severus light was also still lighting and morphing together with yours again to an mistletoe. ,,I thought.. students were here. … Yours didn’t stop shining either?“ He asked ignoring almost giving you an Heart attack. Shaking your head you got got up completely. ,,No, it didn’t.“ He nodded as you just brushed Snow from your clothes. Suddenly the cold hit your skin. Before he was there you didn’t felt as vulnerable as you do now. For the first time when you felt like you didn’t have to think about him for a few minutes your heart started racing again. ,,I’m Sorry that you got involved in- in this.“ You softly said pointing at the Mistletoe. He opened his Mouth to say something but closed it up again. Admiring his dark Hair which formed small waves because of the cold and his dark eyes reflecting the red shimmer from the Mistletoe your Mouth just started babbling.

,, It’s probably- well maybe- my fault.“ You admitted but regretted it right away. He wouldn’t understand, would he? ,,What do you mean?“ His voice was hoarse and felt so intimate. You remembered it being so close to him from when you were childhood friends. Oh, how you missed being his friend. He stood so close, if you’d move your hand a little bit to the side you would be able to touch him. ,,I - um-´´ You sharply inhaled before rethinking your Thoughts. Did it even made sense to hide it from now on. He wasn’t a dumb man and could be able to tell what you were feeling for him anyways after he saw you blushing and everything, right? Don’t be a duck. Say it. Say it. Pushing yourself you finally released the words. ,,I´minlovewithyou.“ Again he didn’t react right away. His dark eyes softened up like they would pity you. Pity? Or was it something else? ,,What did you say?“ ,,Y-You heard me.“

Swallowing the lump forming in your throat you repeated. ,,I am in love with you. Since we were Students.“ Carefully Severus took a small breath and blinked before cautiously taking your hand. His hand was surprisingly warm and so were his Lips as they suddenly hit yours. Melting together you could hear the ringing bell fading and the red light finally vanished. Closing your eyes you could feel the soft motion from your Lips as they moved against each other together until he let go. With shaking hands you looked at him. Were you dreaming? Did you fell asleep while making the snow angle and now it was like a Fever dream? The thoughts ran with an incredible speed through your mind.  ,,Did you just do this because I told you-“ ,,No.“ He shook his head. ,,It was because I really like you too.“ Again your face blushed. Everything inside of you felt like you could fly, like the butterflies learned to fly. ,,And the ringing Bells annoyed me.“ He admitted whispering and you chuckling dared to look up to his face again. Severus carefully dared to smile too and you had to admit- your anticipations weren’t true. He was aware of your existence. And if you would’ve listened closely you could’ve been able to tell how fast his heart was beating as well against his chest now. But all you noticed was how the snow fell on your face as you kissed him again and how his warm hands were holding your cheeks.

Taglist: @deepperplexity

Let me know if you want to be added to my Taglist. :)

[snowflake-of-destruction]

125 pls💜

Cleaning out old asks afternoon? Cleaning out old asks afternoon. 

125. You’re the one who left it laying around. Grass is Greener. Sora and Riku.

"You're looking through my phone?" Sora was framed in the doorway, striking even in sweatpants with bunched legs that said they were too long, though they tightened over his hips and a faded shirt with a cartoon dragon on it, hair held back by a blue headband that Riku was fairly, though not entirely, certain had been left at the house by a guest a few weeks ago, large green bowl cradled in his arms. Sora had frozen mid-stir, forgetting what he'd been coming in from the kitchen to ask Riku when he'd caught his husband intently scrolling through something on his phone, Riku's own Otter encased cell lying forgotten on the coffee table.

Riku didn't look guilty in the slightest when he glanced up and made no move to set the item in question down or offer it to its owner. "You’re the one who left it laying around. It kept buzzing, so I got curious. Your passcode is the same as your pin. Every pin you've ever set." Riku left it unvoiced that Sora should never again tease him for the time he'd made his email password "E-mailpassword!" when he was almost as bad. "I was going to make sure it wasn't an emergency, and maybe answer whoever it was that you were cooking and would call or text them back later. "

"I guess that makes sense," Sora hemmed, dismayed suspicion that had scrunched his face slowly smoothing out. He had nothing to hide, and few thoughts or conversations that he didn't relate to Riku, period. If anything, Riku sometimes had to cut his sharing off, and remind him that, while he loved to hear about Sora's day, he wasn't required to recount every second they were apart. He didn't even care about privacy. The only reason to be uncomfortable about Riku looking at his phone was the implication that Riku didn't trust him. If Riku was just concerned that he was missing an important phone call, and then maybe got distracted, then that seemed alright. "Who was it?"

"Kairi." Riku frowned over the name and Sora felt a prickle of concern again. "She hung up when she heard my voice. I wonder if she recognized it," he mumbled the last half to himself.

"You know Kairi?" Surprise and curiosity mixed. "You didn't tell me before that you know Kairi!" Sora could only see the fun of the coincidence. It was a shame he hadn't known before though; he'd have used the leverage of Riku and Kairi being friendly to help convince her to consider staying with them during her separation from her husband instead of with her brother.

"I wasn't sure myself until now," Riku set the phone down and rubbed his forehead. Reasonably, he should have known. Sora had mentioned the name of the student in his yoga class he was seeing more than once, mentioned her crumbling marriage too, and Kairi wasn’t the most common name. He’d just been in denial until he saw it laid out.  He let out a puff of breath much like a sigh and raked the same hand through his hair. "She's a patient of mine. She and her husband. I recognized her in her contact picture.

"Oh! Awesome! I should have thought to ask who they were seeing when she told me Vanitas convinced her to give counseling a shot--though I also think I had something to do with that. She was ready to serve him divorce papers before I talked her out of it," Sora babbled happily. He seemed to remember suddenly that he was holding a bowl and held the spoon out to Riku. "Taste the marinade before I put the fish in it? It's honey orange garlic ginger."

Riku shook his head, and not just because the sauce sounded like at least one flavor too many, especially concentrated and raw. "You can't date my patients."

"No, you can't date your patients," Sora stressed, mildly put out about Riku's refusal to play taste tester. "It's not an ethics violation for me, or even a moral one. We were pretty upfront with each other, and I really want Kairi to work through things with Vanitas, no matter what it might mean for me and her."

"My patients are married, sweetheart," Riku pointed out like he wasn't even listening , fond but exasperated to the point of exhaustion.

"So are you and I. Don't you think I take our marriage vows seriously?"

Riku patted the couch cushion next to him. "I know you do. I hope you know I do too. I wasn't finished. The great majority don't have marriages like ours."

Sora glanced into his bowl, mourning his sauce for a moment, before setting it on the coffee table and sitting beside his husband. "They're not happy, and they're not communicating. That's why they come to you."

"They're not any degree of open..."

"...Or honest."

"You know what type of open I'm talking about. Generally, I deal with couples whose marriages are very different from ours...with people in them who are very different from us too. And even those that aren't, need to be concentrating on the relationship between spouses."

"I know that, but Kairi..." Sora started.

Riku held up a hand to halt him. "I'd prefer to assess Kairi for myself in sessions." He preferred to leave it in session too, though he couldn’t help mentally updating the file in his head. There was no way he’d hurt Sora by mentioning it, but he was pretty sure he knew exactly why Kairi had latched onto him if Vanitas wasn’t showing her the attention and affection she needed. They looked strikingly similar. And, oh God, he was just remembering Sora told him his new girlfriend also had a girlfriend of her own. That was more knowledge he didn’t want to have when it only complicated issues if he couldn’t bring it up in session, considering the source of the knowledge and how he should recuse himself, even when it very much needed to be a topic of discussion.

Sora made a disgruntled noise in his throat, but only fumed for a second before shifting to a more thoughtful pout. "Have I come up at all? Not by name, I know, or you wouldn't have been surprised I knew her, but, in general?"

"An affair?" Riku tilted his head so his glasses slid a fraction down his nose and looked at his husband over the frames. It was a low trick. He knew what effect that gesture had on Sora.

"Don't make it sound tawdry."

"It is for her," Riku pressed gently.

"I know her better," Sora still felt inclined to argue.

"You're right," Riku backed off suspiciously easily. "You absolutely do. But I know you best of all, and I know you wouldn't want to be involved with someone who was being dishonest...which I can tell you she is...with her husband and with you."

Riku was right. He was always right. Sora had given Kairi an ultimatum, but he never reached the stage where he followed through with his vow that he wouldn't keep seeing her if she did not tell her husband about him. Kairi and Vanitas had separated and Sora had fooled himself into thinking it wasn't as important then. He'd renewed his insistence when reconciliation had been put on the table, but then he'd agreed it might not be the first thing to bring up when she saw Vanitas.

"I'll talk to her," Sora offered.

"I'm going to ask you to break it off."

Riku seemed to be holding his breath, and noticing it knocked the breath out of Sora's chest too. Was he not sure if Sora would agree? How could he ever doubt?

"Absolutely!" If Riku was no longer comfortable there was no question. "Do you want me to do it now?"

Riku exhaled a long, slow stream and the relief in his face as he combed a hand through his hair again almost broke Sora's heart all over. "No, no need. You want help with dinner?"

"Nah, I got it." Sora started to stand and reach for his bowl. "Do you want to invite Namine over? It's been a long week. I don't mind calling in the backup to help you relax. We can double-team it."

Riku shook his head. "You're all I need."

"That's very sweet, but, oh love of my life, that's inaccurate. No person can be all things to another, and trying to force one person to be all things at all times for you is a surefire way to sow strife and dissatisfaction."

"Now, you sound like the therapist."

"Would you like me to be? Your glasses, a tie, a notepad and nothing else while I make you lie down on the couch and tell me all your fantasies?"

"Fish first."

[from-home]

𑁍 MARK LEE┊ 𝒔𝒊𝒙𝒕𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒔, 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 / one ˎˊ˗

𑁍 summary : the one where mark lee time travels back and forth throughout the past and future with his crush, (y/n) ˎˊ˗

𑁍 pairing : mark lee x older!reader (by like three years lmao) ˎˊ˗

𑁍 word count : 6.7k ˎˊ˗

𑁍 genre : fluff, comedy (i hope??), minimal angst, time travel!au ˎˊ˗

𑁍 warnings : swearing, unrequited love (i know that shit hurts omg), my humour is ass, mark gives me slight second hand embarrassment in this, bad writing??, i gave up like halfway through this lol, first time writing a fic like this pls have mercy, it’s almost 2:30 am i'm too tired to proof read fuck ˎˊ˗

𑁍 a/n : first chapter of my first ever fic on here hehe - idk when the next chapter might come tbh but hopefully i’ll continue this series for my own enjoyment! in the meantime, uni still kicks my ass >:(( but anyway, enjoy and i hope that at least someone will find joy with this!    ˎˊ˗

[ 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟬 : 𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝟬 ]

when your pastor dad’s best friend was the biggest nerd in high school and became an eccentric scientist

O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,

  What a beautiful Pussy you are,

       You are,

       You are!

What a beautiful Pussy you are!

      If he could write like that, maybe Mark wouldn't need to be here in this boring literature class of his. Don't get him wrong, he liked writing, and he liked the way he could express his emotions through a pen and paper. But for the twenty-one-year-old boy who could barely sit still in one place without his mind wandering off into four different dimensions, it was hard to be interested in whatever the professor was rambling on about. Maybe Professor Jung was telling the story of how she met Dylan Thomas' widow's sister's friend's cousin, and how much of an artistic impact it had on her. She had told the story a good three times in the past two months - Mark kept count.

      Yeah, writing was fun and all, but literature class specifically was boring and dull to him. "Oh but Mark, why take this course then?" one might ask. But one should also know that it was a necessary course if Mark wanted to earn his oh-so-coveted diploma.

      Curse him for majoring in creative writing. His dad always did wonder why writers even bother writing when the bible exists.

      But maybe one day, an hour and a half of John Keats would produce him some ideas for a romantic poem that he could write and gift off to his love of seven years... and counting.

      (Y/N), the shiniest of all pearls and the most beautiful of all Mona Lisa's, the older woman and her beauty often left Mark stunned and helplessly in love. He first met her when he was fourteen, when she had been introduced as his seventeen-year-old tutor. She was so pretty back then, and still was now. In fact, it was as if she didn't age at all!

      Someone who resembled a goddess like (Y/N)  deserved only the most romantic of all romantic poems, and Mark Lee made it a mission to be the one to write it for her. He was so helplessly in love with her that he was able to channel his feelings for her into five different written forms: poems, song lyrics, an 'A for effort?' drawing of her, letters, and anonymous blog posts about how "unrequited love hurts".

      Sure, those blog posts were anonymous, but as good as Mark thought he was at hiding his feelings for her, everybody in town and their ancestors' spirits knew about the big crush Mark had on her. But no one bothered to tell (Y/N) about her not-so-secret admirer and nobody bothered to let Mark know that his mysterious crush wasn’t as well-kept to himself as he thought it was.

      But it was cute. Not the part where Mark slowly died on the inside as each day passed without his feelings being returned (that was pretty sad, everybody acknowledged), but the part where the adoration in his eyes were so clear for (Y/N). Legend went that he held stars in his eyes whenever his gaze rested on the older woman - like, actual stars from the galaxy. Or so the first-hand accounts go.

      Mark Lee was a talented and hardworking boy, that much was a shared sentiment by everybody in town. He excelled at all subjects, mowed the lawn twice just because he thought he missed a spot, gave it his all at church every Sunday by rapping and dancing in the name of Jesus Christ until he was reduced to sweat and threatening to rip his dress shirt off - he was a jack of all trades. There were even rumours that whenever it was time for a 'Make a Wish' patient to... make a wish in heaven, he would dress up as Spiderman and visit them in the hospital to make their final dreams come true. So maybe that's why it was so endearing, his one-sided love for his noona. If there was one person who could jump over that hurdle of "just friends" and out of the friend zone, it had to be Mark, the boy who's always gave it his all in everything ever since he moved here from Canada when he was twelve. It was one thing to have this crush that you desperately wanted to be returned, but it was another to have the whole town cheering for you - it said a lot about Mark's character.

      Which is why! There was no other perfect test subject for Scientist Kim, the local eccentric scientist who was obsessed with creating his "next big invention". He also happened to be the best friend of the town's pastor (weird combination, everybody knows), courtesy of their high school days and a misunderstanding over a carton of milk. The town's pastor also oh-so-coincidentally happened to be Mark's father, who had lived in Korea for all his life until he moved to Canada so his wife could give birth to baby Mark. He ended up moving back to his hometown, however, thus creating a new relationship between his best friend and son.

      Now Scientist Kim - who liked to go by "Cabbage" as a homage to his idol, Charles Babbage - didn’t really care about Mark's painful one-sided love, but he knew the boy could never say no to his father's best friend from high school, so there was no one better to try out his experiments and inventions than Mark. Like, there was literally no one else at all - the whole town swore Cabbage was out of his mind and were still waiting for the day the newspaper would come out with a headline that he's been charged with involuntary manslaughter. Everybody would be disappointed, but not surprised. But such an incident hadn’t happened yet, so for now, Cabbage was still freely working hard everyday to successfully complete and unveil the invention that would propel him to "the front page of every science magazine and a Nobel Prize in Physics".

      And it just so happened to be today, October 30th 2020, when Mark received a phone call from his dad's best friend in the middle of class. He was glad he kept his phone on vibrate, but god, was it distracting. To answer or not to? Why now of all times? Right, he forgot that some people don't have anything else to do with their lives other than... creating things that usually end up on fire by the end of it. You know, now that he thought back on it, the last time Mark willingly participated in Cabbage's experiment which involved some tinfoil, antennas, and laser beam machining, it left Mark's right shoe on fire - thank God he had brought a fire extinguisher over to Cabbage’s house with him.

      Just that memory alone convinced Mark to ignore the call, nearly forgetting about it once it had stopped ringing if not for the fact he received another call just seconds later. "What is this, an infatuation?" Mark grumbled to himself, before glancing up at the front to see if Professor Jung was distracted enough for him to take this call without her noticing. It didn't help that he sat three rows away from the front. But she still seemed to be rambling on about how much she loved Dylan Thomas' works, and that was a sign for him to accept the call. He kept his voice to a hushed whisper, however, "Hello-"

      "Mark! You have to come over!" There was no way Professor Jung did not hear that screech that came from his phone. He glanced up nervously, noticing his classmate's startled gazes on him. But his eyes wandered over to the front, and judging by how Professor Jung was now going on about Dylan Thomas' "attractive appearance", it seemed he was in the safe for now.

      "Cabbage, I'm in class, so could you keep it down?" Mark hissed quietly into the phone.

      "Right, right, sorry!" While he was still loud even after lowering his voice down, it was more than quiet enough for Professor Jung not to notice, thankfully. "Mark, I've just completed my latest invention. But this isn't just any invention, it's the invention of both my - and everybody's dreams!"

      Mark would be mildly curious if not for the fact that Cabbage said that about every invention of his, but he figured that his dad was going to urge him to go anyway, even if Mark didn’t want to. "But he's my best friend, Mark!" Jeez, because how could he possibly say no to the power of friendship?

      "Mark? Boy? You still there?" Cabbage’s voice pulled Mark out of his thoughts, and the boy could do nothing but sigh. This was just going to be like every other time - he’d be introduced to some machine that supposedly did one thing, said machine would catch on fire the next minute, and it would all result in Mark going home an hour later.

      "Fine, I'll be there. After class in like, half an hour." Mark reassured the scientist, and he swore, he could hear something catching on fire in the background.

      "Great!" He then heard rushed footsteps and... a fire extinguisher? "See you then!" And the call ended.

      He just couldn’t wait.

       When visitors would come to the humble town of Uicheon (의천), located just thirty minutes away by car from the bustling capital city, Seoul, the first thing they would notice was how much the town gave off Suburban American vibes, like walking through a town where the main characters of some random Disney high school movie lived. All single detached houses, varying in style from Country French to Cape Cod with recent contemporary and modern upgrades to those houses by residents who wanted to "spice it up".

        Uicheon was a town seen by others where most of the population was upper-middle class. There was nothing wrong with that at all, and actually, the residents of Uicheon were both happy and welcoming of anybody and anyone who stepped foot into town or even took an interest in moving, no matter of their social or economic status.

       If anything, the residents of Uicheon - the ones who've lived in the town for longer than ten years at least - were often worried that those who did show interest of moving in inevitably get... scared off. By one particular daunting house.

       It was a beautiful town. No seriously, Uicheon had been mentioned on multiple "Top 5 beautiful towns just outside of Seoul that you should visit!" lists published on the internet. And in the beautiful small town where all the houses provide comfort and beauty, surrounded by flowers on nearly every available patch of grass like something straight out of a magazine, there stood a modern house - the only completely modern house in the town - its exterior all... black. Even the big windows were tinted black, and it was obvious that the house stuck out like a sore thumb. Sometimes, the local kids told stories of how the house was abandoned, and was home to a ghost with a vengeful spirit inside who wanted to steal your teeth. The residents of Uicheon had gotten used to the house's presence already, but it didn’t stop the mutual sentiment of "...really?" amongst them.

       And currently, Mark stood in front of its black front doors, ringing the black doorbell and covering his ears as trumpets echoed from inside the house, playing to the tune of the guitar solo of Gun N' Roses' 'Sweet Child O' Mine.' Only seconds later, did the door swing open, revealing a robot, half of Mark's height. "SCANNING FACE... HELLO M-A-R-K, MARK." It greeted, well, robotically.

       "Hey, Edison," Mark greeted the robot nonchalantly, walking in and shutting the door behind him, "where's Cabbage?" He asked as he took off his shoes and placed it on the nearby shoe rack.

       "LOCATING THE DOCTOR..." Edison's eyes turned yellow, colour blinking repeatedly until it turned into a green light and stayed like that. "DOCTOR LOCATED - HE IS IN HIS LABORATORY DOWNSTAIRS."

       Because was it really surprising that the house belonged to a guy who invented things for a living and went by the name of a vegetable in a bizarre way to honour his idol?

       "Got it, I'll go meet up with him then." Mark informed, heading down the hall until he reached the black spiral staircase that led both to the third floor and bottom floor. It was really nice up there on the third floor though; Mark had been there before and it even came with a movie room! Too bad Cabbage rarely used it because he "doesn't have time for action sequences". So Mark, being the loyal lab assistant/test subject he was, headed down instead to the bottom floor, where he was greeted by a hallway that was lined up with pictures of old men on the walls. "My inspirations!" Cabbage would say. Among them were the likes of Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison (who he named his robot after, clearly), Nikola Tesla... you got the drift.

       Regardless, Mark never stayed in the hall longer than he needed to - he wasn’t sure if portraits of old men who were dead by now staring at him was exactly his kind of vibe.

       At the very end of the hall, all that awaited him was a grey metallic door that had some vapour seeping through the narrow space at the bottom of it. "Shit, I didn't bring a fire extinguisher today..." Mark cursed, grabbing onto the straps of his backpacks and readjusting it on his shoulders. "It's okay, Mark. He hasn't killed you before, so he can't kill you today...?" He wasn’t sure what the logic behind that thought was but you couldn’t blame him for trying to... reassure himself for whatever was about to come beyond those doors. It was funny to him; he had been the lab rat of many of Cabbage's crazy experiments and inventions, yet he kept coming back and every time he did, the jitters were always there.

       Maybe it wasn’t because he was scared of death. Because he wasn’t - his father always drilled the idea into his head that God would welcome him with open arms when the time came. At the very least, if Mark died - most likely because of one of these experiments and inventions - he'd be bringing Cabbage with him. But hey, that was beyond the point.

       If not the fear of death, then what? Maybe, just maybe... one of these days, one of Cabbage's revolutionary inventions would actually be successful. That for all of the craziness that's going on inside the mad scientist's head, it would finally pay off.

       If only he knew when.

       Mark reached for the handle and twisted it, pulling the door open and nearly coughing when a whole cloud of mist and vapour rushed at him. "Jeez, Cabbage, what are you doing this time?" Mark coughed into his arm as he took a step into the laboratory. He actually couldn't see the scientist at first, waving his hand around in hopes that he'd be able to swat away the mist and vapour. The space around him eventually did clear, though, revealing...

       Nothing?

       Instead of the usual grand machine that looked like it was taped together, Mark was greeted with... a clear space. The scientist was over at his desk just up a set of stairs that led to a second floor within the big room. "Cabbage!" Mark called after him, waving his hands to get his attention.

       Whatever the scientist was busy doing, it was important enough to leave Mark ignored for a good five seconds. It left him pouting, though the scientist eventually did glance over at the boy, his eyes widening behind his circular glasses. "Mark, boy, there you are!" Cabbage sprang out of his seat, quickly rushing down to the boy he had called over. He held some sort of watch in his hands, like it was the most precious thing in the world. Jeez, since when did Cabbage wear Rolex? "Took you long enough! I was bouncing in my seat waiting for you to come over! But in the meantime, I was able to complete another one after confirming my calculations for the twenty-seventh time..."

       One thing that nobody wanted to do was sit through Cabbage's rambling, prompting Mark to speak up. "Whoa, calm down, Cabbage. What's going on? Where's your invention?"

       "Oh Mark, you're looking at it." Cabbage held out the watch and Mark raised an eyebrow.

       "That small thing?" Mark narrowed his eyes at the watch in the scientist's hand. "Are you sure? Last time I came in for one of your creations, it was twice my size and almost killed me." But knowing the kind of person Cabbage was, Mark wouldn't be too surprised if this little watch managed to wreck havoc as well. How ironic it would be, for something so small to cause so much chaos.

       Cabbage shook his head, meeting Mark's gaze with oddly serious eyes. "Mark, the creation I hold in my hand can - and will - change the world. If left in the wrong hands, everything could collapse. Society will crumble, the universe will be left in a never-ending stream of terror, reality will no longer exist, the concept of time will-"

       "Okay, okay," Mark was left, once again, trying to calm down the frantic scientist, "Cabbage, deep breaths. Tell me, what did you create?" It couldn't be that bad that it left the older man going on some admittedly fear-inducing rant.

       "A time travel machine."

       One Mississippi, two Mississippi...

       "Alright, I'll see you next time then, Cabbage." And almost immediately, Mark turned on his heel, prepared to just dip out of there.

       "Wait, no, Mark!" The scientist called after the boy, grabbing a hold of his sleeve, "Please, hear me out!"

       "Time travel, Cabbage!" Mark whirled around, disbelief painted in his features. "Do you even hear yourself right now? That's impossible! This is impossible! Listen, I'm fine with being your test subject but even I have to put my foot down somewhere when things get a bit too crazy!"

       Despite Mark's reasonable concerns, Cabbage really didn't feel like letting his lab assistant slip away from the tip of his fingers, especially now of all times. "Come on, Mark! Twenty-seven times! I checked my calculations twenty-seven times! Don't let my hard work go down the drain!"

       "Then do it yourself! Time travel yourself!" Mark exclaimed.

       "I can't! I need you to go so I can stay behind and collect all the data while making sure you don't get stuck in the future or something!" Cabbage explained.

       Unfortunately, Mark's face still showed utter disbelief. "You know, this really doesn't help your case, Cabbage!"

       "Fine! We'll do this the fair way then!" Cabbage shouted, holding his fist out.

       "Are you serious? Rock, paper, scissors?!" Mark cried out, covering his eyes. If there was one thing he couldn't say no to, it was rock, paper, scissors. Why? Maybe because he boasts a seven-hundred-fifty-two win record, with a mere twenty-one losses in the game. As you could probably assume, Mark was the undisputed rock, paper, scissors king in Uicheon, and only two kinds of people would dare challenge him in the game when it came to bets. Those who were bold and those who were desperate.

       "I mean it, Mark! If you win, you can walk right out that door and never look back. I won't force this onto you. But if I win..." If Cabbage won, "you have to at least give this experiment a thought."

       "Wait, that's it?" Mark uncovered his eyes, surprise in his voice. But hey, it wasn't a bad deal at all - in fact, the opposite. If Mark won - which he was pretty much guaranteed to - he could leave. If he didn't, he could pretend he thought it over and just say no in the end. "Well shit, say no more, Cabbage." And out Mark's fist went. “On shoot?”

       "On shoot." The scientist confirmed, the two men placing their fists behind their backs.

       "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

       Rock for Mark, and... rock for Cabbage.

       "You got lucky." Mark rolled his shoulders back. "But this is it." And back their fists went behind them.

       "Rock, paper, scissors... shoot!!"

       Scissors for Mark, and... rock for Cabbage.

       "I won..." Cabbage glanced down at his fist, mouth left agape, "I-I won! Against you!"

       Yikes, better make that record seven-hundred-fifty-two wins to twenty-two losses now.

       "I-I..." Mark was still in disbelief, for a totally different reason now, however. "I... I lost?" Under such circumstances too... but seriously! Time travel was a bit too much! "H-Hey, that doesn't mean I'm going to be going through with this! Remember, you said if you won, you'd let me think about it!" Mark reminded.

       "Yeah, but only because I didn't think I'd actually win!" Cabbage snorted, shaking his head as he tucked the watch safely in the pocket of his white lab coat. "But I am a man of my word, so I'll give you some time to think about it. How about until the end of the day?" He suggested.

       "That's a bit too soon, don't you think?" Mark frowned, not really liking the idea of being forced into a decision so quickly.

       "Sorry, is that loser talk?" God, that damn Cabbage always knew how to get under Mark's skin.

       "Fine, by the end of the day. But don't be surprised if my answer doesn't change." Mark warned. "Now if that's it, I'll be going." Mark huffed, turning around and heading to the door once more. This time, the scientist let him go, but not without some parting words.

       "See you soon, Mark."

       (Y/N) doesn't know where her life went wrong.

       Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration and a dramatic one as well, but it didn't change the fact that instead of living out in the city and pursuing her dream as a world renown film director, she was stuck in her small hometown, working full-time at a film-rental store.

       What was even the point of this store anyway? Everything was online nowadays anyway - who did the owner think he was, trying to compete with Netflix?

       "One Mississippi, two Mississippi..." (Y/N) mumbled to herself from behind the counter, staring dully at the analog clock hung just above the front doors. An analog clock - what year was this again?

       "(Y/N)," the voice of the store's owner, Mr. Yoon, was a less than welcoming disruption to her daily "clock-watching" (as she termed it herself), but at least it was a good way to remind her that the day was almost over, "did the kids all go home already?"

       (Y/N) nodded, reaching below into the counter for a piece of paper with names and times. "Yup, Jungwoo and Sungchan just finished their shifts half an hour ago." She pointed to their names on the paper, "Signed out here."

       "Great. You're in charge of closing up for today then, I have business in the city." Mr. Yoon informed, proudly readjusting his grip on the handles of his briefcase.

       "Godspeed, Mr. Yoon." (Y/N) nodded, watching as the man left with a nod. And as the doors closed behind him, the female found herself alone in the store. All alone... which actually wasn't even that uncommon.

       (Y/N); twenty-four years old, graduated from a local college two years ago with a degree in Film Studies with hopes of eventually entering the field of film-making and directing. She had high hopes, especially when she graduated. "To the city and A-list I go!" She could remember cheering that day in her car, diploma in hand and graduation gown still on.

       But somebody must have forgotten to tell her that the university you went to mattered - and just how competitive the job market was for... pretty much every job.

       Now this wasn't to say the college she attended was bad or anything, it just wasn't... one of the SKY universities.  And before she knew it, when it came time for job hunting, the positions were constantly being filled out by "better candidates" and after a certain amount of "we regret to inform you"s, (Y/N) decided to go back home.

       Home, in the beautiful yet small town of Uicheon. All she wanted was to make it big, live in a nice condo in Seoul and shop at luxury brands. Yet now, she found herself wearing what was possibly a ten-year-old uniform from the back storage with a name tag that was always tilted at a forty-five degree angle no matter how many times she tried to fix it.

       But don't get her wrong! She hadn't given up yet - she absolutely would not! Her films might not be playing in theatres or at the Busan International Film Festival, but she still enjoyed writing up ideas and getting some of her co-workers to act out some scenes for her while she filmed eagerly with her trusty camcorder.

       The Sony HDR-CX675; this bad boy cost her a good two months of saving up but God, was it worth it. Jungwoo in a wig and Sungchan throwing pens like they were daggers had never looked so good in HD until (Y/N) had gotten her hands on that beloved camcorder of hers.

       "Should I film the clock or something?" She sighed, eyes wandering back over to the analog clock. At least she only had an hour left before the store closed, and she usually spent most of that time cleaning up anyway.

       And so that hour began, dreadfully long until with only ten minutes to spare, the front door had opened, prompting (Y/N) to rush back to the counter from the storage room, though not without grumbling to herself quietly about what asshole comes into a store ten minutes before they close.

       But it wasn't just anybody who came in - it was Mark, the boy who always complimented her hair no matter how lazy she had been to brush it that day. Still, flattery always earned some brownie points in (Y/N)’s books. So she wasn't hesitant at all when she had greeted Mark. "Hey, it's nice to see you here! Renting a movie?" She asked, resting her arms on the counter top.

       "Yeah, looking for some Christian-friendly Halloween movie. For the kids at church this Sunday, since Halloween is tomorrow." Mark chuckled shaking his head.

       "Let me see what I can find," (Y/N) grinned as she slipped away from the counter and to one of the shelves, "I'll be honest though, you're probably better off showing the kids some cartoon from Netflix or something."

       As if Mark was going to tell her that he insisted to his dad on renting a movie, for he wanted to see and talk to the girl of his dreams who currently had her back turned to him. "Well you know us, terrible with technology." Instead, that was all he could muster up.

       "I'll bet." She snickered jokingly, turning back to him with a movie now in her hand, "Toy Story of Terror sound good to you?"

       "Better than showing them Scream." Mark shrugged before heading back to the counter with her. "I'll pay with debit."

       "Mhm," (Y/N) nodded, taking his card and swiping it for him through the machine, "you know the usual, watch within thirty days and return it after those thirty days." She reminded him with a yawn. God forbid Mr. Yoon ever see that.

       "Busy day?" Mark offered a small sympathetic smile as he took his card back as well as the movie. "I kind of get it. Cabbage called me in for one of his inventions today."

       "Today?" She asked, watching as the boy across from her nodded. "What was it this time?" Everybody in town felt bad for Mark since he was the one always testing out Cabbage's inventions, but at the same time, at least it wasn't them?

       "Gosh, you wouldn't believe me if I said it." He shook his head with a heavy sigh. "A time travel machine - or like, a time travel watch, I guess."

       "Time travel?" The gasp from the female was expected; anybody would be surprised. "I always knew Cabbage was ambitious but definitely not to the extent of time travel!"

       "Yeah, needless to say, I said no. Or like, I told him I would think about it, you know?" Mark frowned. "I just can't believe... time travel of all things."

       "I'll be honest," there was a smile spreading on (Y/N)’s face, to the slight surprise of Mark, "the idea of time travel sounds so cool though. I'd love to try it out." When Mark had brought up what had happened at Cabbage's house, he didn't think (Y/N) would actually be... interested in the scientist's invention. Definitely not when it was so absurd. But she looked so cute, the way she stood up straighter and her attentive eyes as he talked about it. Gosh, he wished he could tell her that it wasn't worth the time. But her interest was clear, that much he couldn't ignore.

       "Then... why don't you try it in my place?" Mark suggested hesitantly. He didn't want (Y/N) and her pretty little self anywhere near those dangerous creations, for concern of her safety. But she really seemed to be interested in this, and this... it was the least he could do.

       "Alone? No thanks." She giggled softly, to the relief of the boy who had suggested it in the first place. "Maybe if someone else was with me though. Like a time travel duo!" Hold up - someone else?

       "This is your chance, Mark!" His inner voice practically screamed at him. Anything for (Y/N), right? "But it's so dangerous!" His other inner voice tried deterring him from going through with what he was about to suggest. But for (Y/N)! "Then," Mark felt his heartbeat quicken, excitement and hope visible in his eyes, "you wouldn't mind if we did it together, would you?"

       If his friends Johnny and Donghyuck were here, they'd definitely be cheering and slapping him on the back. It felt like he was asking her out, something he always dreamed of doing but never really having the guts to do so. Rejection was a scary thought, but as he watched the wide smile that spread onto (Y/N)’s face, he knew he had something to look forward to, even if through... this.

       "Of course! it'll be fun!" Score! "Too bad only one person can go though, I assume." She frowned.

       And for a second, Mark's hopes had shattered once again. But then he remembered something back at Cabbage's house, and maybe, just maybe, it wasn't over yet. "Actually, I think Cabbage mentioned making two watches." After confirming his calculations twenty-seven times. "Why don't we go together?"

       "Seriously? You wouldn't mind?" Oh, what Mark wouldn't given just to see that wide smile on (Y/N)’s face every single second of the day.

       And with a smile of his own, he nodded. "Of course not, noona."

       Love has always been a motivation for man, ever since the beginning of humans. And as time continued on and advanced, a variety of factors had been added to that list of motivation, such as money and power. But one constant above all was always going to be love - something that had always been interpersonal.

       So that was why Cabbage wasn't too particularly surprised to see Mark come back to his house later in the evening, this time, with a female companion. And judging by the look of awe on her face, it didn't take much for the scientist to connect the dots. "Mark, you came back!" Cabbage smiled down at the boy from the second floor of his basement lab. "With a friend this time?"

       "Right," Mark cleared his throat, gesturing to the scientist, "(Y/N), this is Cabbage as you already know, and Cabbage, this is (Y/N), my friend."

       "Hi! It's great to be here! Like, really great." (Y/N) was still enamoured by the many... things going on in the lab, though Mark couldn't blame her.

       "Anyway Mark, have you given my invention a thought?" Cabbage inquired, standing up from his seat by his computer and leaning against the railing. "I assume that's why you're here, after all."

       Mark nodded. "I have." He confirmed, biting down on his lip. "And I'll do it."

       "You will?" The scientist's eyes widened, grin spreading on his face. "That's great!"

       "But," Mark began, gaze falling over onto (Y/N) for a short second before back onto the scientist, "with conditions."

       "Conditions?" Cabbage raised an eyebrow, pleasantly intrigued.

       "Conditions!" (Y/N) suddenly spoke up with a grin, earning a look from the two. "Sorry, it just felt kind of intense so I wanted to ease tensions a bit." She coughed, glancing back and forth between the two. "Please, continue." She urged.

       "A-Anyway yes, conditions." Mark cleared his throat before turning to the scientist once more. "I want (Y/N) to come with me. You have two watches, don't you?"

       "I do." Cabbage nodded, fishing his hand into the pocket of his lab coat and bringing out two identical watches. "So far, they're the only two I have so I need to make sure that your friend will be extra careful with this."

       "She will." Mark reassured without any hesitation. "I know she will, because she's (Y/N)." A man who was claiming everybody's hearts left and right - except for (Y/N)’s though, unfortunately.

       Cabbage looked as if he was pondering on the thought for a bit before eventually nodding and making his way down the stairs. "Well, if Mark is vouching for you, I guess it should be okay." Cabbage nodded before gesturing for the two to follow him to the back of the lab, where large screen rested on the wall and multiple smaller monitors on both it's sides, resting on a glass desk. Below it were multiple keyboards, a few touch pads here and there with clearly different functions. It was like something straight out of a sci-fi movie. "This is where I'll be monitoring and communicating with you two while you're in whatever time period you land in." He explained, gesturing to his set up.​​​​​​​

       "What about the watches?" (Y/N) asked.

       "I'm just getting to that." Cabbage nodded, reaching for the two watches once again. "Gather around, you two." He motioned for them to come closer. "It looks like a regular analog watch at first, but if you tap the clock face," he did what he had just said, the other two watching in awe as a small digital hologram had appeared in the air, just above the clock face, "it has information such as your battery life on the right hand corner, the date and time you're in, the option to video call me, and the option to switch time periods." He pointed out each detail on the hologram. "Now the problem with the switching time periods is that once you arrive somewhere, you're stuck there for, at a minimum, twenty-four hours before the voltage and particle energies recharge and allow you to travel elsewhere."

       "Wait, so you're staying we might be stuck in a different time for a whole day?" Mark asked, a bit of alarm evident in his voice.

       "Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find out the proper calculations to make the recharging process quicker but for the meantime... yes." The scientist sighed. "But hey, at least it's not twenty-five hours...?"

       "Cabbage!" Mark groaned, running his hand down his face.

       "I mean, twenty-four hours doesn't sound that bad." (Y/N) hummed. "I'd love to explore a different time period, really get to know what it was like!"

       "See, at least someone's optimistic." Cabbage sent a not-so-subtle look over at Mark. "But anyway, I actually have a quest for you two."

       "Ooh, a quest! I feel like I'm in a video game." (Y/N) giggled, and if it weren't for the fact that she was totally digging this right now, Mark would have just straight up left out of fear for his own safety.

       "Exactly!" Cabbage nodded eagerly. "Since you two will be going to different time periods, I want you to bring back a memento of some sort from each time period."

       "Anything specific?" Mark asked, wanting to make sure he was going into this with full details.

       "Yes, for the purpose of analytic purposes due to their high amount of energy." Cabbage turned to the two, a suddenly serious look on his face. "A meaningful item to at least one person you encounter."

​​​​​​​        The two waited for him to say more, but nope, all he did was stare back at them. Mark ended up being the first to speak up. "Hm, I think you're missing the part where you, oh I don't know, tell us what you mean by ‘meaningful item’??"

       "That will vary from person to person, Mark boy." Cabbage sighed, giving an empathetic pat on the boy's shoulder. "One person's 'meaningful item' might be a necklace that their mother gifted them, or maybe a letter from a lover for a soldier - everything in life is a variable anyway."

       "Wait, then how do we know something is a meaningful item?" (Y/N) asked.

​​​​​​​        "That's where this last function of the watches come in," Cabbage turned his attention back to the watches, "this icon," he pointed to one of the icons on the hologram screen that resembled a heart, "will allow you to scan a person once you've talked to them. This only works one person at a time though, and it does drain a lot of energy from the watch battery. It'll allow you to see particles coming from objects, like sparkles. The more vivid, bigger and brighter the particles, chances are that's your person's meaningful item. So be careful with who you choose to use it on - once you scan that person, you'll have to find their meaningful item before you can use it again. Not to mention that the longer it takes for you to find the meaningful item, the more energy it drains." He warned.

​​​​​​​        "Talk about ominous, gosh." Mark sighed, shaking his head. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

       "It'll be exciting though, Mark." (Y/N) glanced over at the boy beside her, a grin spreading on her face. "We're in this together, after all!"

       "Noona..." A shade of red coated Mark's cheeks as he stared down at her, eyes sparkling with adoration.

       "Ahem, and me too." Cabbage interrupted, "Just, I'll be back here handling everything."        

       "Yes, of course, because where would we be without you, Cabbage?" Mark sighed, feeling a bit salty over the scientist's interruption during his and (Y/N)’s "moment".

       "Love you too, Mark." Cabbage blew a kiss his way before handing a watch to Mark and (Y/N) each. "Are you two ready?"

       "Wait, we're doing this so soon?" Mark's eyes widened, staring down at the watch in his hands with a bit of fear.

       "Better sooner than later." Cabbage shrugged, helping attach the watch onto Mark's wrist and then to (Y/N)’s. "You guys will be fine, don't worry. I'm here, after all!"

       "So reassuring, Cabbage." Mark grumbled, about to protest over the quick timing and suddenness of all of this if not for the sudden feeling of warmth in one of his hands. He glanced down at said hand, eyes lingering on the smaller hand that had clasped his own. And as his eyes wandered up to the hand's owner, he swore she was going to be the death of him.

       "It'll be okay, Mark." (Y/N) squeezed his hand softly with a reassuring smile. "We're in this together." She repeated.

       "Right..." Mark trailed off before taking a deep breath and nodding. "Together." He then glanced over at the scientist. "We're ready, Cabbage."

       With an excited smile, the older man nodded before turning to his set up and taking a seat down in the chair. The sounds of his quick tapping against the keyboard keys had Mark worrying with every passing second, but as (Y/N) held his hand, he figured this wouldn't be a terrible way to die. "Adios, you two!" Cabbage called out before hitting one last button. Click!

       And as a bright and large flash of light illuminated within the lab, Mark knew it had begun, especially with the way his limbs practically burned and his consciousness struggling to stay intact.

       The things he'd do for love, huh?

[softrenjunnie]

“we can’t do this” kisses

pairing: slytherin!chenle x gryffindor!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst?? idk tbh, harry potter!au

warnings: none, maybe a swearword somewhere

wordcount: 1.6k

message: thank you for all of the love on my “collection” posts, aswell as everything else i’ve posted. i really really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. i honestly dont know about this one, i had a good thought but then... idk what the end is. anywayssss i hope you enjoy? feedback is always gladly accepted but pls be easy on me about this one lmao :// also you dont even wanna know how many times i typen cnehle instead of chenle, ive seen that video too many times.... second also; sorry for being so slow w my updates, ive been having less time and inspiration to write recently... :( third also: not spellchecked aaaah gonna try to do that tomorrow but im too tired rn :/

21 kisses masterlist l Full masterlist

Many months had passed since you last spoke to Chenle. Heck, if it hadn’t been for the fact that you were seated next to him in muggle studies (because the seats were fixed and you had decided on the first day of classes that you wanted to sit together), you wouldn’t even have been near him. 

You’re a Gryffindor, Chenle is a Slytherin. Your mother is an auror and your father works for the Minister for Magic, while both Chenle’s parents were known death eaters. Or, well, they weren’t known when you started dating him, and if they had been back then you wouldn’t have gotten yourself involved with him.

Your parents had met Chenle several times, and they were always supportive of your relationship. But you wished you could say that they had been equally as supportive after it was discovered that his parents were death eaters. Your mother had sent you a letter the day they found out, and when you didn’t respond, your father traveled all the way to Hogwarts to talk to you in person and ban you from ever speaking to Chenle again, by threatening to take you out of hogwarts if you didn’t follow his orders. They had even made sure your friends and most of your teachers knew you weren’t supposed to meet him, so they would drag you away from him if you even as much as tried to talk to him.

But that didn’t mean that you weren’t looking at him. Or talking about him. Or thinking about him. That didn’t mean that you didn’t know exactly where he was at 99% of the time or that you didn’t know what was happening in his life. And it most certainly didn’t mean that you didn’t love him. Because you did. You couldn’t just shut off your feelings, no matter what your parents wanted.

Many parents had sent in threatening letters to the headmaster, telling him to expel Chenle because his behavior could inspire other students to learn about dark magic. But the headmaster always responded by saying that there would be no punishment for anyone based on what their parents had done, because children don’t necessarily take after their parents. And you were so thankful for that - because he was completely right. Chenle was not at all like that. He had been distancing himself from his parents as much as he could since the moment he found out about them over seven years ago; he’d even left them to live with his grandmother instead. You just wished your parents understood that. 

You often found yourself looking down the hallway in the dungeon when you had finished potions class, hoping to see Chenle strutting to or from his common room with his friends. Or thinking of him when his favorite dish was sitting right in front of you at dinner, making you throw a glance over at his usual spot by the slytherin table to make sure he was digging into it as usual. 

Except, one day, he wasn’t at dinner. You didn’t stop looking when you couln’t see him in his usual seat; you searched the entire slytherin table from your place across the room with your eyes, in case he’d decided to get a new seat; and then you searched the rest of the great hall in case he was talking to a teacher or someone from another house. But there was no Chenle. You thought it was very strange, as he never missed a meal - so you excused yourself from your seat and instead walked over to the slytherin table. By the end of it sat the people who you recognized as Chenle’s best friends, Renjun and Jisung, two full blood slytherins whose parents were speculated to be working with Chenle’s. They didn’t look too happy to see you.

“What are you doing here?” Jisung sneered at you once you came close enough to hear.

“I’m just wondering if you know where Chenle is,” you said, voice much calmer than the one that spoke before you.

“Why do you care,” Renjun spat right after swallowing down a piece of chicken. “You’ve made it pretty clear you don’t want anything to do with him anymore.”

“Oh, and you are mad about that?” Even though you had tried to remain calm, you could feel the anger boiling inside of you.

“Yes, Chenle is-“

He had barely just started talking when you cut him off. “You think you’re mad? There are people who are suffering way more from this than you, you idiot. Try to get that thought through your small brain. Maybe the person who’s been ignored, or maybe the person who’s going to be kicked out of hogwarts if she is seen speaking to Chenle.” You hadn’t been able to hold back - but it felt good. When you were done with your mini-rant, you straightened your posture again and looked at the boys with calmer eyes. They seemed surprised, and possibly a bit scared, and Jisung had dropped his fork from his mouth to his plate with a loud thud when you started. “So, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me where Chenle is at.”

Even though they were frightened of what Chenle had threatened them with doing if they spoke about his whereabouts, they told you about how Chenle had said that he wasn’t feeling like having lunch and was probably sitting in the library to study for his exam the next day. Forgetting all about your friends back at your table (and the risk of them seeing you by the slytherin table and connecting the dots), you hurried out of the great hall and made your way down the hallway towards the library.

Your mind was blank, you didn’t know at all what to say to Chenle if you even found him. Yet there was something telling you to go; something inside of you forcing you find him. He had his favorite spot in the library, by one of the windows deep inside, so when you finally made it into the library, you knew exactly where to look. And sure enough, staring into his history of magic book, he sat by the same table as he always did. He hadn’t heard you as your last few steps had been soft, so you faked a quiet cough to get his attention. 

“What are you doing here?”

You sighed at the tone in his voice - you had been a bit surprised before you reminded yourself that you shouldn’t have expected anything. Instead of answering his question, you asked him one. “Why weren’t you at dinner?”

He put his book down and stood up, frowning at you. “Did you seriously come here just to ask me why I didn’t have dinner?”

You shrugged and looked down at your feet, suddenly feeling shy. “Yeah,” you mumbled.

“Okay, so,” he started, pacing slowly towards you. “you don’t speak to me for weeks, maybe even months, and then you come all the way to the library to ask why I didn’t have dinner?” You looked up from the ground to see him staring right into your eyes. “Not really that believeable.”

You didn’t know what to say. The day you had been banned from speaking to him, you had walked straight up to him to tell him that you wanted to break up with him. That’s it. No explanation, not giving him any chance to talk to you. And you hated it, but you weren’t sure how to make it better.

“Shit, Chenle, I’m sorry. I really am,” you sighed, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes at any moment now from seeing how angry he was. He had never before looked at you with such flames in his eyes as he was right now. “I... I don’t know what to do to make you understand-“

He cut you off, his tone piercingly sharp. “Just tell me. Tell me the truth.” You blinked a couple of times, hoping that it would help push the water in your eyes back. “Is it because of my parents that you act like I suddenly don’t exist?”

“Yes but-“

And again, he didn’t let you speak. “I though you knew me. I thought you saw me for who I am, not for who my parents are.”

You couldn’t hold back. You stepped towards him, cupping his face in your hands and scanned his eyes for any sign of doubt (except for his continuedly frowned eyebrows). It was like a magnetic force pulled you to him, that pulled your mouth to his. You could instantly feel how much you’d missed this feeling, even though it was barely just a brush. 

Chenle pulled away almost the exact moment you’d launched forward, and though his expression was hard to read, it told you that he wasn’t angry at you. He let out a shaky breath, as he dropped his head to let his forehead rest on your shoulder. “We can’t do this...” he mumbled, his arms snaking around your lower back to hold you close. 

You held him around his shoulders, leaning your head on top of yours. “I’m so sorry, Chenle. I’m going to find a way to fix this,” you mumbled. “My parents... they made sure I didn’t talk to you. I’ll do something to make this right.” 

“But before that, can you just hold me?” 

You might have ignored him for such a long time, but that didn’t mean that you had stopped loving him. Nor that you weren’t ready to fight for your relationship. 

[bucketslutz]

Get Out the Way

Chapter 3:  Sabotage

Summary: You were successful as a bounty hunter for a while, and now as a skilled fighter working in an arena. You were craving excitement, until a Mandalorian crosses your path and offers you the opportunity to help bring his kid back and avenge the death of someone you lost long ago. Working with the bucket-head, though, isn't going as smoothly as you thought. Will it all be worth it in the end?

You can read Get Out the Way on AO3 here.

Warnings: 18+ only pls, violence, gore, language, bounty hunting, enemies to lovers sorta, slow burn af, banter, grogu in danger, AFAB reader, badass female reader, yes reader is a bounty hunter, smut eventually but for now they hate each other

Chapter Summary: Mando and reader butt heads, yet again. At wits end, reader takes matters into her own hands to force Mando to take a break.

Your jaw still hurts. And it sure does look like it hurts too. The yellow halo around the purple, black, and blue bruise isn’t easy on the eyes. Who would’ve thought an old geezer like Brehan could’ve done something like that to your face. You’re still upset with Shiny over the way he spoke to you after the mission. You didn’t deserve that kind of treatment, no matter what the circumstances were that surrounded the argument. If it wasn’t for your quick thinking, Brehan would’ve escaped. Mando can be so temperamental, the slightest thing can push him over the edge. You’re tired of walking on eggshells around him so you’ve done your best to not speak to him during the trip through hyperspace. Better to avoid another argument altogether than to unintentionally start one. You’ve practically been alone this entire trip. Not like you’re not used to being alone. You’ve been by yourself for a while now and can make do; you eat by yourself, sleep by yourself, get drunk by yourself. You almost prefer it. There’s no disappointment when you’re alone. No one to tell you you’re not good enough and no one will have to leave. It’s better this way. You can save yourself from more heartbreak when you don’t let anyone near you; because when you don’t let anyone near you, you won’t get that hollow feeling in your chest when they inevitably leave you. So you’ve managed all these years with mindless hookups in alleyways behind cantinas. You’ve had a couple of those guys crawl back for more, but you did what you always did and shut them out. Can’t let someone get to know you, learn to love you, then want to leave you. It makes life more bearable. Surviving is easier than living; do what you need to do to get by, because pleasure is a luxury most cannot afford. You’d rather not waste your time on dreaming for what you can’t attain so instead you settle for what’s accessible, because that’s easy and something you don’t have to try for. It’s black and white and something you don’t have to spend too much time worrying about. You spend too much of your time thinking: what do they mean by that? Do they want to kill me? What if he doesn’t want to sleep with me? Why is he looking at me like that? Are they angry with me...? The times you can escape the thinking and just do are the most precious to you. The freedom of leaving anxious thoughts behind and doing without the stress of consequence is something you won’t take for granted. You’re strong, physically. You could take down men twice your size with your bare hands. And you’re adept with a blaster, whip, vibroblade, you name it. Your skills are something you’ve never had to question. Sometimes you get overwhelmed when thrown into intense situations, and thoughts along the lines of “I won’t make it out of here alive,” begin to cross your mind. But then the action begins. And you no longer question it, and just do. That’s the one luxury you can afford.

You start to take notice to the ambiance of hyperspace; the subtle chiming and beeping of the ship, the dull hum as the ship traverses through lightspeed, and the absence of a particular heavily armored presence. Eventually, you gain complete consciousness and your heavy eyes open completely. Your back doesn’t hurt this time, thankfully. You decided to lay down on the floor to rest instead of with your back against one of the crates. You can only assume you’re alone in here, you’ve no clue if Shiny is in the cockpit or his cot, and you don’t really care to check either. You didn’t realize how strenuous this mission would be. Your body hasn’t felt this tired and achy since you hunted for bounties. But, stars, you missed that feeling; sleeping when you can, your body fighting signs of fatigue, always on the move. It made you feel alive. It’s a feeling you couldn’t recreate, and having spent so much time away from that side of your life, it’s been hard to feel that alive again. Until now, as you’re fulfilling a promise you made to yourself so long ago. Even though you’re working with Mr. Hotheaded-Bucket-Face, you’re still happy to be back in action. He’s got maker-given talent, but dank farrik is he a pain in the ass to work with.

Red lights above your head begin to flash and the ship starts to chime. You were confused; a trip from Numidian Prime to Sriluur would take longer than a day. You shouldn’t be dropping out of hyperspace so soon. The door that conceals Mando’s cot slides open and you whip your head towards the disturbance. He slips out and climbs up the ladder to the cockpit before you can even ask him why you’ve dropped out of hyperspace so soon. Deciding to find out where he’s taking you both, you ascend the ladder and enter the already-parted doorway to the cockpit. Through the transparisteel, you fail to recognize the planet you’ve come upon. The way in which he always fails to communicate the most basic things, will never cease to amaze you.

“This isn’t Sriluur, you mind to indulge me as to where you’ve decided to take us?” you inquire, your tone bitter and caustic.

He reaches above his head and flicks various switches, as his right hand remains on one of the toggles that steers the ship.

“I’m stopping on Raxus for a brief layover. We’ll be in and out. I just need to fuel up the ship before I make the jump to Sriluur,” he says directly.

A layover didn’t sound like a bad idea. The ship needed the fuel, and maybe a good once-over. You’d hate it if something internally happened to the ship on Sriluur, especially if you both needed to make a quick escape. You can’t have the Crest suddenly decide to break down on you both if you need it desperately to get you guys out of a tight spot. Plus, maybe you could finally get a shower and some decent sleep on an actual bed while they make repairs to the ship.

“Maybe you should get some work done on the Crest while we’re down there,” you suggest.

“So there’s something wrong with it?” he asks, haughtily. As if your question was pointless because “no one knows this ship like he does.”

“There could be,” you say with a shrug of your shoulders. “But would you rather find out in repairs? Or while we’re trying to run from blaster fire?”

“There’s nothing wrong with the ship,” he says, now sounding slightly upset. “I don’t want to waste more time than we have to on Raxus.”

“It’s just a suggestion. A reasonable one, might I add,” you huff.

Here it is, the bitchy tone, the irrational response, the stubbornness, all the things you’ve been trying to avoid running into. You’re not making an outrageous request, you know a part of him agrees with you. He’s just being a stubborn know-it-all; he has to be right. 

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” you ask harshly, his helmet remaining fixed on the planetary view outside the transparisteel. 

“I’m not an idiot, this isn’t my first high-profile hunt. I’ve been on hundreds of hunts just like this one. So believe me when I tell you if we have one slip up on Sriluur, Wraak will not hesitate to kill us both,” you thundered. Your tone is suddenly urgent, and frustrated. You need him to understand the severity of these circumstances. “I’ve seen him kill people over less. So unless you didn’t hire me for my intel, you shouldn’t be questioning whether or not my advice is worth taking.”

You turn around sharply and stomp down the ladder as you leave the cockpit. He needed to hear that, as harsh as it was. You don’t care if his feelings are spared or not; he’s a big boy, he can handle it. Even though he sometimes doesn’t act like it. For someone as renowned as he is, he sure doesn’t act like the professional he supposedly is. You’d think someone of his caliber would understand how to handle high stress situations, but he seems to be crumbling under the slightest bit of pressure. You’re not sure how you know, but this doesn’t seem to be Shiny at his best. He might need rest. He can’t infiltrate Wraak’s base if he’s not in the right headspace; there can be no room for error this time. You understand why he’s hesitant to stay on Raxus, you wouldn’t want to leave a vulnerable, helpless child with someone like Wraak. But if you don’t prepare to the fullest, then you’re going to lose everything you’re working for. This is a delicate process, you can’t let Mando’s poor lack of judgement fuck it up. He needs a drink, or a shower, or a good night’s sleep on a bed rather than a cot. He needs some time to straighten out his thoughts so he can actually manage to survive this mission. You’ve been in his shoes before; too emotionally involved in the outcome of a hunt that you begin to lose yourself. You forget to eat, drink, bathe, sleep, even breathe. Then you can’t focus because you’re too tired and you’re body is too weak from the lack of nutrients to fight. He needs a break. And you’re going to have to be the one to force him to take one. You’re gonna have to do something kinda shitty, but it’s the only way to get him to take a break.

 You can feel the ship rattle and shake as it enters Raxus’ atmosphere; muffled chimes emanate through the parted doors of the cockpit above. You feel almost insane for actively wanting to sabotage the ship, it’s just going to be so damn satisfying to break something. Even if it’s a small something. This flying garbage pile seems to be more trouble than it’s worth, but he seems to manage with it. Parts of the Crest buzz and whirr as the landing array folds out in preparation to set itself down. The ship clunks as it lands and Mando departs from the cockpit not soon after the ship settles on the ground. The ramp opens revealing the fuel port Mando’s landed in, surrounded by autumnal trees and tanned mountain ranges. Various pit droids twiddled about, engrossed in menial tasks. Mando approached them and tried to get their attention, but they seemed too preoccupied to really care about what shiny was doing. That seemed like it was going to take a while, so now’s your chance. You cross to the ladder and climb up to the upper level, where the generator room is located. You need to target something small enough he wouldn’t notice, but big enough that the ship wouldn’t be able to take off without it. You eye the various control panels and piping as you enter the generator room. You chew your bottom lip, using all of your brain power to remember the engineering skills you have. After your third scan, you remember that the main fuel line is small, yet vital, and Mando won’t notice that it’s been compromised until he powers up the engines. You bring your elbow down hard against a pipe and it budges slightly. You realize you’ll need more leverage, so you look above your head and grab hold of thicker, more stable pipes. You pull yourself up, and bring your foot down hard against the pipe with a clank. After repeating that a few times, it finally breaks. Fuel begins leaking out all over the floor from the broken pipe and you smile at your successful attempt at a sabotage. You depart from the generator room and down to the hull; you take a peek outside pleased to see Mando is still barking orders at the pit droids. Now, all that’s left to do is sit back, and wait for your plan to come to fruition. Mando stomps back up the ramp, clearly frustrated (he has no patience for droids), and tosses a sachet of credits in your lap once he’s across from you in the hull.

“I need you to go into town and buy some more supplies,” he directs before immediately turning away towards the ladder.

“Hold on,” you say, stopping him in his tracks; your objection causes him to turn around in your direction. “Since when am I your bitch? I’m not here to run errands for you.”

“You want to make yourself useful, go ahead,” he says, sounding testy. “Or you can get off my ship right now and I can leave you here.”

Seriously? He’s being this uptight, for what? To prove a point? To get you out of the ship and out of his hair? That is, if he even has hair. Part of you does feel bad for him. He’s lost his son and he just wants to get him back. Maybe you shouldn’t have sabotaged the ship….Nah, he’s definitely in need of a break. This motherfucker has been walking around with a stick so far up his ass it’s now making its way up his throat. And now he has the audacity to start treating you like a servant after he’s made it clear millions of times how: “you’re a bounty hunter,” and how you should “start acting like it.” You want to scream. Or punch him. Maybe a combination of both. You just want it out of your system.

“Fuck you, Mando. Go find someone’s dick, and choke on it,” you spat, your tone furious and bitter. It was the most you could muster and the best words you could find. You turn around and storm off down the ramp and past the stumbling pit droids. Hopefully he doesn’t notice the compromised fuel line while you’re gone, but at this point you don’t care. You need to get away from that nerf-herder right now; if you were to spend one more minute with him, his head might end up rolling out of the ship.

 …

 You wander the streets of this small village for far too long. Partially to blow off some steam, and partially to waste time. You wanted to bother him and get under his skin, and taking your time right now would accomplish just that. You check every vendor you pass for the necessary items you were tasked with acquiring, pondering their purchase with a meticulous eye. You wandered into expensive boutiques and browsed their inventories, you stared at shop windows and asked for prices that you wouldn’t need because you weren’t going to buy anything. But you knew you’d have to go back soon, or else Mando might actually leave without you. So you made your final purchases and walked back to the Crest where a certain bounty hunter was probably waiting impatiently for your return. You hope he’s angry and upset that you took this long; you want to get back to him seething in anger and ready to strike something with his fists. Perhaps you’re being a little bit petty, you don’t really want to upset someone like him. But Maker is it fun. Reminds you that you at least have a semblance of power over him when it feels like he’s in control of almost every aspect of this mission. You just want to be able to have this one thing over him, then you’ll be fine once you get to Sriluur to obtain his kid. You have no problems taking orders from him, but when he begins to act all high and mighty over you and pretends that your input isn’t valuable, you take a bit of an issue with that. 

As you approach the fuel port, pit droids are taking out various fuel lines connected to the ship and struggling to roll them back up onto their stands. The ramp is still open, but you don’t see Bucket head anywhere in the hull yet. You walk up the ramp and into the Crest, tossing the bag of supplies on the ground by some crates. Figuring Mando is up in the cockpit, you huff in frustration then ascend the ladder and approach the cockpit’s doors. The doors whoosh open and, lo and behold, Mando is sitting in the pilot’s chair and seems to have barely cared that you entered the cockpit. He’s pressing various buttons on the control panel, obviously engrossed in whatever task he’s doing. You’re tuned into the routine by now, so you take the seat to his right and strap in. 

“Next stop, Sriluur,” Mando says as he begins to power up the ship, pressing buttons and pushing a lever. The Crest powers up, then promptly powers back down and sputters. Mando’s hands lift from the control panel in a defensive “what the hell did I do?” position. He flicks a few switches, that do nothing, then glances at the screen that logs the fuel reserves.

“What? How is that possible? I just fueled up the ship,” Mando exclaims, as you hear him huff out through the modulator. He stands up from the pilots chair and exits the cockpit to go to, you can only assume, the generator room. Your suspicions are confirmed once you hear him let out a slew of curses from the other room. He stomps back into the cockpit, seething with anger underneath his helmet.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, pretending to be oblivious to the issue at hand.

“The main fuel line has been compromised,” he tells you, his helmet remaining fixed on you for a beat. “One of those droids must have messed with it.”

“Probably,” you say with a shrug. “How big of a fix will it be?”

“It’ll take a day, maybe, at most. Unless those droids are good at fixing their mistakes,” he remarks bitterly, obviously bothered by the delay. “In the mean time, I’ll find us a place to sleep for the night.” He looks you up and down. “You need a shower.”

You glare at him, as if I don’t fucking know that already dipshit. 

“And you need a fucking nap,” you spat bitterly, with your arms crossed over your chest. His helmet fixates on you for a minute before he turns to leave the cockpit, his cape fluttering behind him. You try to bite back a laugh, very proud of your work.

 …

 You and Shiny walk towards the city of Raxulon, in search of cheap lodging for the two of you to stay in tonight while the pit droids work on the ship. He’s silent, like always, walking in front of you through a small neighborhood on the outskirts of a rural village. There are children playing in the street, kicking balls and hitting each other with sticks pretending they were vibro blades. Fruit stands were occupied by elderly vendors, trying to pawn off their slightly rotted produce to any person who was too inept to understand their poor quality. It was a quiet, quaint little village; they didn’t seem too accustomed to someone like Mando walking through the streets, heavily armored and heavily armed. Some parents shielded their children away from your beskar clad counterpart, not wanting to cause any trouble. One of the children’s balls rolls in Shiny’s direction, stopping once it collides with his ankle. The kid quits jogging after it and freezes in his tracks, clearly petrified of him. Mando bends down and lifts up the ball, tossing it back to the kid.

“Shulu chess ko bukee. Oolaee safa lesh,” he says, the helmet nodding in the kids’ direction. They smile and run away, giggling and kicking the ball in front of them. The two of you continue on your stroll to the nearest Inn, Mando hardly acknowledging the simple act of kindness he just displayed. You weren’t used to seeing that, from him especially. That’s what makes him so confusing to you; one minute he’ll blow up at the smallest inconvenience, storming off like a child, and the next he’s pulling shit like this where he’s being patient and kind towards these children he doesn’t even know. It makes you wonder what changes in him through those lapses. What is it that penetrates that beskar? There’s something he lets in there; something small enough to wriggle under his sleeve and curl up without being detected, but it’s something he wouldn’t dare cuff his undershirt to reveal what it is. Especially to you. No, definitely not you. What reason would he have to reveal to you a vulnerable part of himself? What makes you any different than all the other bounty hunters he’s come across? He only chose you because you’re of use to him. Once this all blows over and Wraak is dead and he has his kid back, it’s going to be like this never happened and you both will continue on living your lives. Shiny with his son, and you...on Nevarro alone. He’ll have his clan of two, you think that’s what Mandalorians call it, and you’ll be on that maker-forsaken planet continuing to make credits at Gundi’s for...what exactly? You’re still not sure. Truth is, you haven’t been sure in a long time and you’re too afraid to admit it. If you could, you would go back to hunting bounties, traversing the galaxy, earning your place. But that didn’t work out for you, as most things tend to. It’s been harder to find your place in all of this when you don’t really understand who you are anymore.

Mando stops in front of a modest building that reads “Inn” in Aurebesh. The windows are parted open and the curtains are fluttering in the wind. You and Shiny enter together, there’s a tired woman slouched behind a counter, her blonde hair pulled back lazily into a ponytail. She’s swiping mindlessly on her datapad, then once she notices the two of you enter, she glances up at you both and adjusts her posture to seem more welcoming.

“I need two rooms,” Mando says to her once you both reach the counter. She nods her head then begins typing into the datapad. Her lips purse in thought and her brow raises slightly.

“I’m afraid we only have one room left for tonight,” she admits, seemingly apologetic. Shiny sighs through the modulator, his shoulders falling slightly.

“That’s fine. How many beds?” he asks her. She glances down quickly at her datapad then back up at the helmet.

“This room is a single, so it only has one bed, I’m afraid.” She glances between the two of you, trying to gauge a reaction based off of your expression as opposed to Mando’s faceless helmet. You huff, resting your hands on your hips, and wait for Shiny’s response as you glare at him expectantly. At this point, you’ll sleep on the floor if it means you get to take a shower, but Mando seems like the kind who’d want his own space to occupy while he removes his armor and bathes.

“Where’s the nearest Inn?” he inquires. You can tell he’s beginning to lose his patience, but he won’t show it to the nice lady behind the counter.

“We’re the only Inn here in this village. The nearest city is Raxulon, but it’d be a day’s walk from here,” she informs the two of you. There’s no time to walk all the way to Raxulon, the ship would be done with repairs by the time you even get there. He looks to you, as if to ask for your input. “I seriously don’t give a shit, I’ll sleep on the floor. Just take it, for fuck’s sake,” you tell him impatiently, gesturing to the woman behind the counter. The helmet nods in her direction and he pulls credits from his belt, plopping them onto the counter. She sets the key onto the counter, directing the two of you to your room, and Mando snatches it up indignantly paying no mind to the directions. He stomps off down the hall, you following behind him. It almost upsets you how annoyed he is, as if he doesn’t even trust you enough for him to be in another room without his armor on while he’s bathing. You would never actively try and look at him, as that’s a complete and total invasion of his privacy. You’re not sure what exactly that equivalent would be for you, but you’d imagine it would be like if he lifted up your top to look at your tits. You didn’t consent to that, you weren’t okay with that, yet he did it and now you’re uncomfortable that he’s seen a part of yourself you didn’t want him seeing. Does he really think you’d do that to him? Does he think you’d violate him like that? If so, fuck him. You’re risking your life on this mission, considering you know exactly what Wraak is capable of, he should be grateful you even agreed to come here at all.

 He stops in front of a door, unlocking it with the key, and you watch as it slides open. Mando steps inside, barely paying you any mind as you follow him in. The room was smaller than you expected, there was one tiny armchair shoved into a corner adjacent to the queen sized bed. The armchair was far too small for either of you to even consider sleeping in, but the bed looked like heaven in comparison to the hard, metal floor of the Crest that you’ve been sleeping on the past few days. He tosses his rifle onto the bed and wastes no time going to the windows and closing the blinds, so no one could see inside the room. He brushes past you and into the bathroom, locking himself inside without saying a word to you. You roll your eyes and sit on the edge of the bed, un-fastening your boots and pulling them off of your feet. You flex your toes once your boot is off, trying to regain some mobility after not having taken them out of these shoes for days on end. The sound of rushing water can be heard through the door of the fresher, and you can only assume Shiny’s finally taking a damn shower. He’s been so sour since finding the broken fuel line in the Crest, which obviously isn’t a good thing so you can’t blame him for being upset anyways. His moodiness doesn’t surprise you anymore, as he spends more time sulking than he does speaking to you. But it’s fine, it’s not like you should probably get to know the man that you’re risking your life for, or anything. No, it totally doesn’t bother you that a complete stranger has complete control over almost every aspect of this mission and will refuse to communicate basic things to you at all. It’s fine, everything’s fine. You just need to lay down and pretend he’s not even here, just for a minute. Yes, just a minute.

 …

 Many minutes must’ve passed since you laid your head down because the sound of the bathroom door sliding open wakes you. Shiny emerges from the bathroom, the hot steam from the fresher sticking to his beskar armor. He sure does have a knack for always waking you up, doesn’t he? You groan and roll over on your side, trying your best to ignore him, but his boots against the ground makes it too difficult to fall back asleep again. You force your heavy lids open to see Mando settling in the tiny, lumpy arm chair as if he were trying to get some rest. You roll your eyes at his stubbornness and sit up on the bed.

“For fuck’s sake, just sleep in the damn bed. I’m going to go shower anyways,” you huff, getting up off of the bed and heading towards the bathroom. You hear a sigh escape through the modulator and you can assume the rustling is him getting into the bed...fully armored? Whatever. You could care less, you just want to get clean. You palm the controls to the door, locking it behind you and sigh, finally having some time to yourself. The steam from Shiny’s shower still hangs in the air and the mirror is fogged as a result. You punch in the settings for the shower and watch as water begins rushing out of the showerhead. After stripping out of your gear, you step into the fresher, huffing in contentment when the warm water rushes over your body. You wished you could stay like this forever, free of any outside stressors like Mando, or the trauma from working for Wraak. It’s like an impenetrable bubble that you’re allowed for just a few brief moments while you clean yourself. You hope that Mando is still asleep by the time you’re done because you want to avoid stepping on his toes any further, and if you inadvertently wake him up, you might get yourself yelled at by him again for the millionth time. You’d give anything to have an actual conversation with him, but every time you speak it seems like it causes some issue with him and upsets him in some way. So you’ve resigned to just shutting up for a while, ignoring him when you can, and doing your best to not make any more jokes around him. It’s been working so far, but it feels weird. Here you are, risking your lives for each other, and you both barely speak. You just wish that you could get at least a small look into what he was thinking; how does he feel without his kid? Is the kid dead? Does he think the kid’s dead? You want to help ease his mind, but his emotions have been so volatile since you’ve met him. He would never let you close enough to even try and crack his shell open, no, you’d most definitely die trying. 

You turn the water off in the fresher, wringing out your hair before stepping out with a fluffy white towel wrapped around your body. Tightening the towel around your breast, you wipe some of the steam off of the mirror with your hand. The bruise on your jaw looked pretty awful, and it was still tender to the touch. It looked nasty, how has Shiny not said anything about it? You shake your head and begin putting your clothes back on, your hair twisted up into a towel atop your head. Once dressed, you try and tackle your hair...but there’s no comb anywhere in this bathroom. You curse to yourself as you try and comb through your hair with just your fingers, but you give up soon and just pull it back lazily into a braid; not really caring to try anything more complicated. Maker, all you want right now is to climb into bed and fall asleep, but Mando is probably asleep and it would be, well, weird to just climb right in next to him as if you two were a domestic couple. But that chair definitely seems worse to sleep in than the floor of the Crest, and why would you subject yourself to that torture? You’ve been bouncing back and forth, toying with the notion, but mostly wondering if he would be upset with you for doing it. Do...Mandalorians not like sharing beds? Is that a thing? Whatever, he can yell at you after you both get some rest. You palm the controls to the door and it slides open with a whoosh, as far as you can tell, Shiny doesn’t budge. He’s laying on his back fully armored without a blanket or anything, like a lunatic, sleeping soundly. You tiptoe, as best as you can, around to the left side of the bed and slide in next to him with your back facing Shiny, not even bothering to try and pull the covers over you in fear of disturbing him. You can’t even hear him breathing, the only indication of his presence being the slight dip in his side of the bed from his weight. You’re becoming paranoid now that you’ll nudge him accidentally in your sleep and startle him awake, causing him to unleash a slew of annoyed remarks. The anxiety kept you up for longer than you’d like to admit, which is irritating considering you’re finally able to sleep in a bed but you can’t because a walking, talking harbinger of death is sleeping next to you. You’re not sure how, but you managed to lull yourself to sleep through the impending doom of Mando’s wrath.

 …

 A scream rang through the small room, jerking you awake with a startled flinch. You still remained facing the wall, not Shiny, thankfully. There was movement on the other side of the bed as you felt Mando move. Your eyes remained fixed on the wall, trying to gauge how he was feeling about you sleeping next to him, if he had even noticed. But he was silent. It worried you, so you rolled over and sat up in the bed to see Mando’s feet slung over the side of the bed as his eyes remain fixed on the floor. He must’ve been the one whose scream woke you up. What should you say? It’s not like he’ll tell you what’s wrong if you ask him. Still not sure if he’s noticed you’re awake now, you wait a few moments to see if he’ll do anything else. But he remains fixed on the floor, his shoulders rising and falling as, you assume, he’s trying to catch his breath again.

“Are you alright?” you finally inquire, your voice slightly hoarse from your sleep. He doesn’t say anything, hardly acknowledges you’ve even broken the silence. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, trying not to blow his fuse by overstepping any of his million boundaries. He seems stuck, like he’s spiraling out of control silently. You lift your hand and hesitantly bring it to his shoulder, right above his pauldron. You gingerly place your hand there and wait for him to react, when he doesn’t, you gently move your thumb over the fabric of his undershirt so lightly you were sure he couldn’t even notice. 

“Your kid will be fine. You have my word,” you assure him gently. While you weren’t sure what exactly Wraak wanted with his kid, you’re secure in knowing that Wraak will explore all of his options before killing a child in cold blood. From Shiny’s stress, you can assume that this kid isn’t just your average child, he must be of some value to Wraak or else he wouldn’t have gone out of his way to have taken him. Mando’s helmet cranes behind him to get a better look at you and he locks on you for a moment. You offer him a sympathetic closed-mouth grin, feeling more comfortable than you’d thought you’d be with his helmet fixed on you for so long. You pull your hand away and settle back on your side, facing the wall so you don’t have to remember that the Mandalorian is sleeping next to you. But it doesn’t seem to bother you as much as it did before when you wake up the next morning with your arm draped over his chest and your cheek nestled into his arm.

[thejustmaiden]

The Sesshomaru F*cks Debacle

Hey, fellow Inuyasha fans! How we feeling?? I imagine a lot of us are doing quite fabulously after the recent news we got about the sequel coming out this Fall, "Hanyou No Yashahime." So if it wasn't obvious already, I want to take the time to discuss the topic of- you guessed it- Sesshomaru. Go figure! 

***THIS IS A REPOST OF MY ORIGINAL BLOG THAT DISAPPEARED FROM THE TAGS. PICS/GIFS HAVE BEEN REMOVED TO HOPEFULLY REPAIR THAT.***

Let's be real, as much as probably (and literally lol) all of us have viewed him as "daddy material" at some point or another during our teens, Sesshomaru being physically intimate with another being, much less a human, is difficult to conjure up in our minds. And there's nothing wrong with that, per se, as sex and romance doesn't come so easily to some as it does to others. Then again, that's not to say a romantic relationship is completely impossible or unattainable for him either. 

I, for one, am not a huge fan of the idea of Sesshomaru siring children of his own. Granted, adopting/protecting children and other small companions is kinda his thing (I saw one user even describe him as a 'walking daycare' 🤣), and maybe it'll just take some getting used to, but all in all it's not entirely unfathomable to picture him having biological children. Though I'd be lying if I said I still didn't prefer he just took these two twin half-demon girls in and under his wing instead, like he did Rin. However, seeing as that's unlikely the case since the two girls resemble him in some fashion, the chances of that coming true are slim, which must mean that Sesshomaru did in fact bone some lucky lady. That's not to say I don't acknowledge that there's still a chance these kids aren't truly his but we'll see! 

Which leads me to the real reason behind this blog! I'd like to address in-depth why I and so many other Inuyasha fans consider shipping S*ssrin as wrong and why it makes a lot of us extremely uncomfortable. 

BUT FIRST BEFORE I FORGET, I want to give a little unofficial disclaimer by stating that this blog isn't intended to upset certain fans regarding my stance on the controversial ship. Thus I will not tag it under that ship name, and I suggest others who agree with me to do the same in any of their future posts. 

Because let's not forget that the most important thing is that we're all fans here. We fell in love with this story and hold its beloved characters close to our hearts for a reason. And that still counts even if you're returning to this fandom a decade later. So please, let's try and remember that and be civil towards one another. Putting people down by attacking and insulting others in real life really doesn't make us any better than them. I REPEAT, please do not engage in this post unless you plan to be kind and respectful of others who may have a differing opinion than you. There's never a need to be ugly towards another human being. That goes for all shippers and fans of Sesshomaru in general. Thank you in advance for your understanding and compliance. 😊

Again, none of these comments are aimed at being inflammatory towards those fans who have a different approach to this pairing. If any of you are reading this now, please keep that in mind before deciding to participate in any discourse with me and other antis. 

Okay, let me go ahead and list a few of the main arguments fans of this particular ship use to support them together. Then I'll give my reasons why those aren't enough to justify their relationship turning romantic:

1. Rin will be an adult before they get romantically involved

2. Sesshomaru didn't raise her and therefore isn't her father; he was never like a father to her in the first place

3. Sesshomaru hasn't been grooming her, not then and not now. Besides, it was Rin's choice first.

4. Age difference shouldn't matter when you look at other relationships in the series (InuKag, Koga x Ayame, etc.)

5. It was always going to be canon because the drama CDs exist

 These are the main points I'm seeing around. Now let's dissect them, shall we? These are my direct responses- I'll try to keep them short and concise. Fyi: Jk! I'm lying, that never happens. 😆

1. Rin may be an adult, but from our standpoint that doesn't make much of a difference. It doesn't matter because it's all about how her relationship with Sesshomaru started off and how it continued onwards. From that moment, it was basically established from the get-go that their relationship resembles that of one a young girl shares with an older man who winds up becoming her guardian. She initiated it by trying to bring him food while he was injured, and he reciprocated by deciding to bring her back to life that fateful day. 

Of course we're all happy that he did, because he's a better demon for it and a similar thing could be said about her! Therefore you must understand that fans against this pairing find it very hard to grasp the notion of a budding romance here when we look at their history. For us, it's synonymous to imagining a father eventually falling in love with his daughter or someone else who reminds him of a daughter, and vice versa. But let's just say he's not a father to her like many of you claim and more like, say a modern-day babysitter. Isn't it still bizarre to you that a young girl could fall in love with the man who looked after her and cared for her at that age, maybe even played games with? One day or on multiple occasions he even sees her naked because she had an accident and got hurt so she needed help changing or something. I admit it's more realistic that it was Jaken if anyone who'd be in charge of this, but why does it really matter who was tasked with what? Sesshomaru may have not been around all the time but that doesn't mean he's any less involved or invested in Rin's general care and well-being. So it's that thought alone that keeps many of us from even contemplating a romance forming between them. Whether he hardly interacted with her over the years or not is irrelevant, because it's clear to me that they have both formed a strong enough bond that constitutes calling them family. I highly doubt he ever even planned to keep Rin in his company as long as he did. But it happened, and whether you want to admit it or not, meeting her changed his life. Meaning Rin was never just some girl he traveled with or hardly knew. Despite his feigned indifference and stoic ways at times, I'm pretty sure we can all agree that Rin grew on him and was the first person to really influence him in a way that helped soften and open up that heart of his in a way nobody ever had before. One's significance to any given person isn't solely measured by the quantity of time spent alongside that person but by the quality of how that time was spent with said person. It's safe to say that in the case of Sesshomaru and Rin, they definitely fall under that category. 

2. Fair if you don't view Sesshomaru as Rin's father, but you must acknowledge that he did fill some father figure-like role to her at the very least. Or let's just call him her vassal if you think that's a more accurate description. Also, can I just quickly stress again that it doesn't matter how long she spent by his side or whether she spent more time in the village or not, because he still ended up playing a major part in her childhood as an adult male role model. Regardless of the title you give him, it still stands that although he may not be her official adoptive father, he is LIKE A FATHER. There really is no point in denying that, because their dynamic exudes one of a father-daughter. I guarantee you that any outsider looking in would agree that if not her father then at the very least he embodies a male relative of some kind. Honestly, the details of their relationship dynamic specific to this show (regional/period differences, human vs. demon culture, etc.), don't really matter here. Why? Because one can assume that the general consensus here is that a large percentage of fans perceive their connection as a familial one. Yes, most would unanimously agree that Rin and Sesshomaru, along with Jaken and Ah-Un, are a FAMILY. 

If she had first met him as an adult, then we'd possibly have a very different story here. The point of the matter is that he didn't, so that should be where this discussion ends. Unfortunately, for many, it's not. The bottom line is that a child he knew and cared for should never be someone he begins to view in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed (or that to demons years are like days or some less inconsequential length of time), and how much she's matured or how specific marriage customs were back then (if they're no longer appropriate now then why are we still condoning these backward practices?). Rin should NEVER have the desire to be sexually attracted to this father figure she's always looked to and trusted to protect her. Maybe it's vastly different from a demon's perspective (even though still unjustifiable in my opinion), but as a human, Rin's feelings towards Sesshomaru wouldn't and shouldn't suddenly change towards him and in such a drastic manner mind you. Yeah, maybe she used to have an innocent crush on him, but I'd like to think our smart and compassionate little Rin would learn that was simply because she was a child who didn't know any better. Besides, growing up with Kaede and around other humans I'd like to think she fell in love with another human sometime over the course of all those years. It only makes sense, right? Don't you think that's part of why Sesshomaru left her there in the first place? He wished for her to experience what it was like to live a normal human life, falling in love and marriage both being a key part of that. If I were Sesshomaru, I'd be deeply troubled if I started to develop feelings for a little girl I once protected and kept in my company for quite an extended period of time, which was at least a year from what I understand. (Pls correct me if I'm wrong because I gather it may have been longer.) 

3. Apparently in the manga and the Final Act, we see Sesshomaru still visits the village to check on Rin from time to time. He even brings her gifts, such as beautiful and luxurious kimonos. I recently learned from another Tumblr post that kimonos are what older men gift in order to sort of earn their favor with these young ladies, AKA they're wooing them. If that is indeed true, then that would mean he's basically grooming her and has been for however long she's lived there in the village but potentially even longer. To put it nicely, he's courting her. If this was another young lady (maybe not an adult perhaps but still of marrying age) who he DIDN'T assist in raising, then I could possibly get on board with this.

The thing is, it's far from that with them two if you consider everything they've gone through and endured together! Because he not only met her as a young girl but he got to know her first as a young girl, and she became one of his traveling companions all while she was only a young girl!!! Their bond will always be defined by that time when she was just a young girl, and nothing can or should change that he will always see her in that same light. Kinda like how our parents or other family members from older generations tell us that they'll always see us as their babies. So the fact that her time spent with Sesshomaru is constantly compared to her time spent in the village shouldn't apply here. Don't we all know this already? That we can can come across someone in our lifetime and maybe the time with them is short-lived, but that doesn't make it any less significant or those people any less special. Sesshomaru made an impact on her as much as she did on him, that much we know is true. Sure, it was years ago, but that's not something you ever forget. Sometimes when you look at loved ones you haven't seen in a while, there are just certain memories you have of them from over the years that will come rushing back to you without fail and that you will always cherish no matter what. I'd like to believe that when Rin looks at Sesshomaru and he looks at her, that they can both look back fondly on their times traveling together. This explains why I'm really struggling here to picture how anyone could sleep with someone they used to treat as their guardian/father/ward/daughter/what have you. So someday and somehow, this person just stops viewing them that way, is that it? I mean, how does this work exactly? It's not like you can just flip off a switch and forget everything from your past with this person, ya know? Unless you have your memory wiped, what I'm understanding is that S*ssrin shippers approve of the idea of these two characters KNOWING that they are or used to be like practically FAMILY to each other, yet agree that these two characters in question still have the capacity not to mention desire to pursue HAVING SEX with each other anyway. Do I got that all right? Did I miss anything?  

Originally I provided two examples of fan art I found to help put what I'm trying to say here into better perspective, but since they've been removed, just type in "Sesshomaru and Rin" on Google and you'll find plenty of examples of what I'm talking about here- and no, it's not S*ssrin images. I realize Sesshomaru has never been the touchy-feely sorta guy like it's depicted in some of the fan art, but that doesn't necessarily diminish the affection he feels and attachment he has towards Rin. He just has a different way of expressing his love is all, even if he doesn't outwardly show it. The real question here is, can you really look at sweet pictures of an adult comforting a child who's been under his care for a significant amount of time and then suddenly be like, "oh man, I can't wait till they bang!" I'm sorry, to each their own, but you gotta admit why we must find that creepy. 

4. Regarding Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship, we need to remember that he didn't age after all those years stuck to that tree. And besides, demons age differently so this is a pretty unfair comparison. This isn't the best example, but think about how a cat's lifespan works. 10 years in (indoor) cat years is like 56 in human years. So technically in demon years, Inuyasha is physically and emotionally compatible with a human around Kagome's age. Hell, even though he's over a hundred years older, Kagome is still a whole lot more mature than he probably ever will be! 😂 (Psst! We still love you, Inuyasha! 💋)

Now as for Koga and Ayame, this also isn't comparable to Sesshomaru and Rin. Koga met Ayame one night, only not to see her ever again until she was older and of age. After rescuing her on that night when she was only a girl, he gives her a piggyback ride and you can tell he just wants to cheer her up when he mentions her being his wife someday. (And boy, did that work wonders on Ayame!) Then they gaze at this stunning lunar rainbow together, which I think is quite rare judging by looks of it. This is not an attempt to defend this proposal- if we can even really call it that- but all I'm saying is that I don't think even Koga knows what overcame him in that moment. Fast forward to present-day when they cross paths again, and Ayame still remembers his so-called promise, but guess who doesn't right away? Yep, our man Koga! It takes a quite a while for it to come back to him, too. This further proves my point that something beyond Koga and his power possessed him to say all those things to a little Ayame for some reason. Maybe you can call it destiny, or maybe it was some special kind of magic caused by the lunar rainbow, Idk! All I know is that they do end up together in the Final Act and that it wasn't until they met as two consenting wolf-demons that they really grew to know each other and coincidentally- or maybe not so coincidentally- fall in love.

 5. From what I understand, it appears these drama CDs are some kind of satire which doesn't equate to canon. Perhaps Rumiko did not debunk them but she also didn't confirm they're true either. I'm hearing conflicting reports, however, and her involvement in them is questionable. Like her name is supposedly on the cover or something? But then I've also heard that she has spoken out against this ship. From the sounds of it, there is enough evidence- or lack thereof rather- to conclude that fans cannot use this as proof enough for their ship already being or soon-to-be canon. 

Finally, I'd like to end on this note where I'll be addressing ethics in entertainment. When it comes to our choice of entertainment, there's always a level of escapism implied, sometimes so much that we project ourselves onto certain characters. Delving into a fantasy world like that of Inuyasha can really help some people better cope with real life problems, but it's all about striking the right balance, as each individual has different wants and needs. The thing is there's only so much escapism one can allow in a fictional world before basic morals from our own world begin to take precedence. I can always enjoy some good fantasy, but it's not long until I start to reflect on how I personally relate what entertainment I'm currently absorbed in to real life. It's inevitable really. For example, if certain relationships portrayed on screen conflict with strong opinions I've adopted on a sensitive topic, especially those that take children into account, then I feel it's my responsibility to speak out against any media that even remotely promotes it. Yes, even if it's just fiction. Because art imitates life, right? (And yes, sometimes the other way around.) So in other words, our stories should mirror our way of life to some degree. History has seen its fair share of ugly events and traditions we are surely ashamed of but that we've hopefully learned our lessons from. Most societies nowadays seriously frown upon or condemn stuff like pedophilia, child grooming, or anything of the sort. Of course it doesn't help that we see still see these kinds of issues glossed over so much that we've become desensitized to them in many respects.

The thing is we cannot allow this way too common older-man-dotes-on-young-girl trope (or anything resembling it) to continue to be glorified or romanticized. It matters not that feudal Japan was a drastically different time to be alive and that this was the norm back then, or even that this remains a popular ship in Japan. All it comes down to is if whether we would currently tolerate such acts and behaviors were we to witness them in real life. If your answer is 'no', then it should be 'no' in every respect. If you deem it acceptable just because it's fiction, then I'm sorry to say, but you're going to have to answer to a lot of people. No surprise there, that goes for all fandoms. I guarantee you it's not just the people who personally identify as victims who have serious qualms with this ship either, because you don't necessarily need to have bad experiences of your own in order sympathize and see where a lot of these people are coming from. And no, just because I'm unhappy with the possibility of S*ssrin going canon does not mean I'm whining or that I'm attempting to spread negativity about this series before it's even out. Remember, fans have the right to be critical of whatever content it is they're watching/reading, and if they demand something in the storytelling be represented better, then of course they can challenge that. After all, none of us should feel like "canceling" the content we love is our only hope to fixing a story. That's not how it ever should be. Fans are fed up, and can you really blame them? Nah, we can strive to do better in this area, plus it's not like there isn't always room for improvement. So let's please be more vigilant about how the content we consume translates to reality, in addition to being mindful of how it can directly correlate to real life problems for ourselves as well as others around us.  

That's a wrap, y'all!! I hope you enjoyed what I had to offer on this topic, and here's hoping I actually contributed something new to this conversation! I'm aware that that's unlikely the case for us fans who've been living in this tag the past couple days (like me lol), but I'd like to believe I put my own spin on it and it was still worth your while. 😉 

P.S. Overall, I remain optimistic about the new show! So are there any friendly Inuyasha group chats on Tumblr I can join? If so, please do invite me! I need to obsess about this sequel even more than I already am, EEEK!!!

[shibalen]

1/2! Hi! could I have a male romantic hq matchup if thats ok? w a dark box + a jewellery box pls! I'm 5'5, she/her w long dark brown hair w the front half of my right side dyed white, green eyes + tan skin! I'm super bubbly, loud, naturally v flirty + my love language is physical touch! I LOVE working out + I'm a HUGE foodie. I'm stubborn + impulsive, luv rain/storms, coffee + PDA. I'm emotional, confident, bold, giggly, energetic + observant! I ramble but I'm a gd listener + v playful!

2/2 im v playful + luv teasing! I'm spontaneous, optimistic, passionate + ambitious but I tend to overwork myself. I'm empathetic + love comforting others, it takes a lot to make me super angry too! I'm pretty straight forward - I try my best to be upfront about my feelings! I LOVE autumn/winter, cooking, BOBA + outdoors (but also love cosy nights at home) I really value honesty + loyalty. my ideal type is someone tall, protective + doesn't mind physical touch! (I also luv late night adventures)

Sorry I ran out of characters but I just wanted to say thank you so much in advance! I literally had notifications on so I didn't miss your matchups being open lmao <3 a nickname incase u need it is Ains btw!

♡︎ matchup for @hvnlydmn

hello, dear! aww, i'm so happy you think my matchups are something worth not missing. thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoy this!

haikyuu: i match you with . . .

osamu miya !!

• under that calm exterior Osamu is competitive and has a small wild streak in him. you would do good in bringing out that side of him more often with your extroverted nature !!

• he finds your boldness and passion endearing and will help you keep your feet grounded in cases your impulsive tendancies might cause trouble for you.

• while your external demeanours differ, you hold the same core values which is incredibly important. like you, Osamu prefers being honest and will understand your point of view even though he might have a different opinion.

• that being said, you're both extremely patient and heated arguments take place only once in a blue moon. even then you manage to work out your differences quite fast.

• maybe it's because of your profile pic but i get the feeling you were a fan of Atsumu first, being part of the cheering squad in high school.

• you had no problem approaching either of the twins despite their popularity. they liked your confidence and energy so quickly accepted you.

• at first you wanted Osamu to help you get closer to Atsumu, but oops, along the way you two ended up falling for the other instead ! your personalities complimented each other, plus you had lots of common interests !

• i love how your first impression dynamic is the fun ray of sunshine x the quiet chill one even though y'all can be equally chaotic and observant ♡︎

• Osamu puts action over words and likes showing you his affection through small, casual touches as you go about your day. locking your fingers, putting his arm around your waist or shoulders, caresses of your cheek/head/hands.

• also, giving you massages after a tough day !! it's sweet and intimate while you can talk about anything and everything, or say nothing at all ♡( ◡‿◡ )

• insists being the one to brew you coffee. he knows his coffee is the best and it's what you deserve.

• playful teasing 23/7 (including snack breaks) just saying. having a brother like Atsumu has had its effects.

• Atsumu and you sometimes gang up and lovingly bully him. don't worry though, even against the two of you Samu can stand his ground (or be petty and give you a cold shoulder to tease you even more).

• though if someone else starts crossing the line while they're teasing you, Osamu will lowkey throw hands. he won't make a scene but anyone with the guts to brother you should be prepared to face pain the consequences.

• your dates often consist of visiting new restaurants/food booths, home-cooked dinner dates or picnics + hiking. sometimes he'll join working out with you.

❦︎ darkbox, timeskip

• it started with the little things: missed calls, skipped dinners, forgotten good-mornings. with Osamu busy with the restaurant and you having your hands full with your own job, your schedules only seemed to drift further apart.

• but then the words you exchanged irl became less frequent and finally the physical touch between you faded nearly into nonexistence because you hardly even saw each other.

• it was like a ticking time bomb. Osamu and you were aware of it but neither of you knew how to stop it.

• though you talked through messages and calls it just wasn't the same. stressed and worried, you did your best to remain calm, however this only made things worse.

• to you, it felt as though Osamu didn't care about your relationship anymore since he always looked and sounded the same, ever so nonchalant. yet in truth he was trying his hardest to look composed so you wouldn't worry.

• in the end, you both saw it best to take a 'break' until your careers became stable again. the saddest part: you did it for the other though neither of you wanted to.

• to forget your depression you became more involved in your work than before, up to the point of overworking yourself.

• meanwhile, Osamu, too, drowned himself in exhaustion. no matter how stoic he appeared it was clear he was all but focused. he kept wondering if you were okay, eating properly, getting enough sleep, or even if you wanted to start seeing someone else.

• worries if you'd rather have broken up with him for good because he wasn't good enough.

• thank goodness Atsumu, being the better and smarter twin™, called his brother out on his bs. too bad Osamu was a stubborn bastard and took forever to realise he loved you too much to be taking some 'pause' from you.

• his blood ran cold and his heart dropped to his stomach, however, when you weren't answering any calls or texts for days. you always answered him after a day at most.

• gosh, he was so anxious something had happened to you that he cancelled everything to rush to your place.

• it turned out you were taking a a week off from the world after too much work and getting sick. all well and good but the boy almost stumbled to his knees from the relief.

• instead, being himself, he just went: "stupid. ya really have a talent for getting yourself into situations like these."

• but thankfully you knew what he meant and how to comfort him. obviously you both fessed up that despite the problems you didn't want to be apart from each other again.

• from that incident onwards you agreed to always openly talk about your feelings. even if it meant being a little selfish, you knew the other would always be there for you ♡︎

𑁍 jewellery box

— favourite memory with you:

after a loss at an important game, you were the one to cheer him up. it was mid-autumn so the nature was filled with colours. you invited him out to rake leaves and jump into the heaps. Osamu thought it was ridiculous at first but couldn't help but smile at your sweet attempts to help him. you weren't together yet back then but it was definitely the moment he realised he felt something stronger for you than friendship ♡︎

— favourite activity to do together:

cooking and taste-testing! it's just so domestic. he gets to cook and spend quality time with you—what could be better? also, image standing in front of a stove, just cooking, when he comes up to you from behind, quietly wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles your neck.

— favourite place to kiss you:

your forehead and neck. he jokes you're too short for him to reach your lips when he actually just loves the intimacy of it, same with your neck.

— favourite nicknames to call you by:

short-stack, plum, Ains. just your own nickname or something silly/teasing. he doesn't think having a nickname is that important.

— favourite thing about you:

how empathetic and understanding you are. many have gotten the wrong impression of him of being aloof before, so he loves you for caring to look further than meets the eye. not only with him but everyone else as well.

runner up: Kotarō Bokuto

this is my first time writing the extra additions so feedback is warmly welcome. remember to take care ♡︎

[purplellamanator]

loved ur writing. Could u do #132 pls. Thank u

132. "Yes I'm out clubbing on New Years. Please just pick me up!"

A/N~ Thanks for the ask! You didn't specify for what pairing so I just did for ShinRan. Hope that's okay 🥳 And this one can take place in a future canon I would say ;) here is the prompt list 

oOo

Admittedly, Ran had a little bit too much to drink. She hadn't even realized she drank that much until suddenly she needed an escort to the bathroom every few minutes.

She honestly hadn't meant to have that much- she really didn't. But she had been sad. Not angry, just disappointed.

It was New Years and she had to spend it alone. Well. . . that was the plan until Sonoko got involved. At the young and ripe age of 23, Sonoko was horrified when Ran said she hadn't planned on doing anything tonight. What was the point? The person she wanted to spend it with wasn't there.

But the Suzuki heiress wouldn't hear another word of it. They were going out tonight. And while Ran had thought that meant a nice dinner and then to go down town to see the festival, that wasn't what her friend had in mind at all.

She noticed that when Sonoko showed up to her apartment to meet her and apparently she was severely under-dressed.

"Oh, there is no way you're wearing that," had been her friend's first words and Ran took a moment to glance down at her clothes before taking a glance at her friend's outfit.

There was no debate. She was completely under-dressed. But Ran was confused. Why in the world was Sonoko dressed like that for a dinner? Ran wasn't the problem. Sonoko was just over-dressed.

"Dinner?" Sonoko had said surprised before she began laughing. "You're guard dog is out of town for once, Ran. We're going out."

Ran was more curious about the extra emphasis on 'out' rather than her slight irritation she compared her boyfriend to an overprotective mutt.

"Out?"

Thus how she ended up in the situation she was at now.

Because apparently out meant clubbing.

Which she had never done before. She never really had any desire to do that. Especially with what Sonoko had forced her to wear.

"I-I can't wear that, Sonoko!" she had practically shrieked when her friend pulled out a dress she forgot she even had from her closet. It was a black, incredibly short, and even more revealing dress. She only wore that on . . . special occasions. And her special occasion wasn't here right now so she didn't want to wear that dress.

"Why? It's hot!"

"But it's not outside," Ran said pointedly but her blush intensified as her friend simply ignored her and began digging in her closet for a pair of matching shoes. "It's New Years, Sonoko. I'll freeze!"

"Which is where the dancing and alcohol come in, Ran," her friend said casually and with experience, as if she knew what she was doing.

She probably did.

Shinichi had told her on numerous accounts that she could be a bit of a pushover when it came to the Suzuki heiress. She could be guilted into doing almost anything her friend begged for.

And Ran grumbled that he was right when she found herself stuffed in a tight dress and with a drink in one hand. And then how even later, she found herself sitting on a curb by herself.

It had been her fault. Sonoko had took notice of how much she had to drink right away and told her to stay close. But it was so crowded. They got separated. So Ran just walked out.

She tried to use her brain somewhat and attempted to send her friend a text. A text that said she was outside. Her hand couldn't hold steady though and oddly, the words were moving all over her screen. She was sure her message said anything but what she had intended, so instead, she attempted something else.

Honestly, at the time she thought it had been the responsible thing to do.

She called her boyfriend. Her boyfriend that she had told earlier that she would be staying at home all night.

In no time at all, his welcoming but also confused voice, filtered through the line.

"Ran?"

He was probably wondering what she was still doing awake. She knew it was well past midnight and since she told him she wasn't doing anything that night, he likely expected her to be in bed by now.

Trying to control the wavering in her tone, she straightened, even though if she had been thinking clearly- she would've figured it wouldn't matter considering he wasn't there to see her. She should've focused more on the slur in her words.

"Are you okay?" She could hear the concern beginning to leak into his voice which was the opposite of what she wanted. She didn't want him to be mad at her.

"I'm fine," she said a little too forcefully.

And then making her even more nervous he asked, "Are you drunk?"

Even though she was probably being so obvious, Ran couldn't help but be surprised in that moment. How had he figured it out so soon? She didn't drink often and when she did, she never allowed herself to get to the point she was at now. So she asked him.

And he laughed. He actually laughed and she wanted to punch him if he were here.

"Because you keep asking me to pick you up."

"Well yeah," she said a bit exasperatedly. "I can't find Sonoko so-"

"Wait, Sonoko?" he questioned with a bit more alarm and she knew that's when she actually messed up.

"What are you doing with Sonoko?"

Immediately and out of guilt, she just blurted whatever came to mind first. "She wanted to go clubbing!"

"Clubbing? On New Years?" Now he really sounded panicked. Ran was beginning to realize that maybe calling her boyfriend was a bad idea. "Is Kyogoku-san with you guys?"

If she had been sober she probably would've understood what he really was asking. Was anybody with any sense of responsibility with them? Someone to take control of the situation when Sonoko wanted to do something crazy and Ran was powerless to argue.

Meekly, she said, "No. . . "

His tone was quickly changing and Ran hated how he was able to make her feel ashamed. "Put Sonoko on the phone."

The guilt was eating her alive now and her lower lip began to tremble. She really didn't want to cry but she could hardly hold it in. First she got split from Sonoko so she couldn't leave and then secondly, Shinichi was clearly mad at her. And she knew it would only get worse after. . .

"She's not here," she said softly as if maybe he wouldn't hear and then forget about this entirely.

"What?!"

"We got separated and it's my fault!" she burst into tears, unable to keep a hold of her overflowing emotions anymore and Shinichi fell silent at her obvious distress.

But it didn't stop him from being disappointed.

"But you guys should know better to both drink that much-!” He cut himself off when he realized it must've been a lost cause now. The damage was done but on top of that, there was no use in arguing when she was too drunk to comprehend.

"Damn Suzuki," he growled through the line and she could hear him moving around now. "Just stay there. I'll call her on the hotel phone." And the entire time she listened as he proceeded to curse Sonoko's name.

"Clubbing, Ran?" he said a bit disbelievingly. "You never like to do those things and of all nights." When he wasn't there for when things like this happened.

"Yes, clubbing," she said a bit frustratedly. "Yes, I'm out clubbing on New Years." And slowly the anger faded and the tears began to leak into her voice again as her throat seemed to constrict from trying to hold it down. "Can you please just pick me up?"

Why did he need to call Sonoko anyway? He could just come here, help her find her friend, and then take them both home.

"That's how I knew you were drunk."

"H-huh?" What did that have to do with anything? And how did her begging him to pick her up off the side of the road tell him that she was drunk? Shouldn’t that show that she feels safe with him. That when she’s scared, he’s her first thought?

"Ran," he said slowly as if trying to give her a chance to notice her own mistake.

"I'm in Osaka right now. You walked me to the train station this morning."

[hollowcrovvn]

The Ostensive Fumblings of Being Human (part 2)

Pairing: Connor x female!reader Rating: G for Gross Cute Crap Summary: Set two months after the ending of Detroit: Become Human, androids are living in government created “pop-up” communities while efforts are being made to integrate them into society. You are a grad-student volunteer with the Detroit Crisis Response Unit (DCRU), working to help with relief efforts… or at least, doing the work no one else wants to do. Which brings us to part 2.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (ao3)

The moment kept playing in your mind, giving you little snapshot glimpses of his face when he saw your phone number written on the cup. His face, perplexed, but so curious as he took in your every word with such rapt attention. 

“Ugh… no.” you whined towards the ceiling, throwing your head back and sinking further into your sofa. Some TV series played ideally while you tapped a stylus on the screen of your tablet, opened to some notes regarding your most recent class. You risked short glances over to your phone. 

“Stop it.” you said to yourself, “It’s not a big deal and you don’t even know if he’ll text.”

You sat silently for a moment, nearly forgetting about it in the thrall of the TV and procrastination on your assignment when your eyes slowly drifted over to it again.

“Son of a bitch.” you huffed, throwing tablet aside as you got up and made your way across the small one bedroom apartment to your smaller bathroom. You needed a shower and some comfy clothes and maybe some sleep. 

Several minutes later you came out from the bathroom, towel drying your hair and feeling a bit more human with the cold no longer biting at your skin still from the damp outside. You weren’t looking, not really, your eyes just fell to the phone on the small kitchen table and noticed the screen was list with an envelope icon.

You managed to pretend not to be interested for approximately fifteen seconds before you were over, picking up the phone and trying to not think about how fast your heart was going as you opened the message…

… which was just from your DCRU supervisor reminding you to go to the DPD station downtown after checking in on site tomorrow.

You felt your heart fall and sighed as you clicked the message and set a reminder. Someone in Jericho had requested a number of open human-on-android violence cases as well as android-on-human and someone had to go get the stats. Most android cases were still considered “sensitive” so the only way to get the information was from the source. It was a placating act, something to make Jericho not so hostile to DCRU and their efforts, even if they could realistically do nothing about the numbers. You wondered if you would be lucky enough for it to be the same station Connor worked at.

You took your phone and headed off to bed, setting your alarm. It was nearly 11:40, which was not ideal if you didn’t want to be a zombie tomorrow. Sighing, you flicked off your lamp and curled up, closing your eyes and tucking in. Your breath began to slow and your body relax when suddenly the darkness behind your eyelids lit.

You opened your eyes a slit and saw the envelope notification with a question mark attached.

[ new sender ]

[ accept msg y/n? ]

You never hit “y” so fast in your life. 

[ from: DPDCNSL#317

Thank you for agreeing to continue corresponding with me. I am looking forward to the experience.

And thank you for the coffee.

Have a good evening, ---.

Connor ]

And then before you could respond the little dots indicating he was responding popped up immediately.

[ from: DPDCNSL#317

Lieutenant Anderson has informed me that saying, “I am looking forward to the experience” sounds “creepy”. I am looking forward to being able to speak with you more.

Connor ]

You smiled and quickly wrote up a reply-- which you waited a few minutes to send because… like that is what you did right? You didn’t wanna reply too fast… right? You killed some time, changing his name in the message box.

[ from: ---

You’re welcome. And pls don’t thank me for that pitiful excuse for bean water. Next time, I’ll get you a latte and you’ll never be the same again. ]

[ from: Connor

You are correct, but not in the way I believe you think.

Regardless, I would like that. You are studying at Wayne State, correct? ]

You froze, staring at the words with shock. How the hell did he know that?

[ from: ---

You pull up my file, copper?]

[ from: Connor

I did a search on the internet. You came up under the staff listing as a research assistant for Urban Studies. Is that correct? There is no image, so it could be another ---. ]

[ from: ---

Bit weird to be searching for someone you just met. ]

[ from: Connor

I agree. Lieutenant Anderson located the information and sent it to my terminal. I was… curious. I apologize, I do not wish to cause you to feel uncomfortable. ]

It didn’t really matter much. All the information on the website was basic things and any social media you had was hidden from the outside. It was harmless, as far as most things went.

[ from: ---

It’s alright, next time you can just ask me. Though I think to make it up, you can buy me the coffee. Only fair. :)  ]

[ from: Connor

I do receive a salary now, so that is a possibility.

--- it is now almost midnight. You should be resting as you have already lost two hours of the recommended time for sleep. I would recommend lowering your caffeine intake to 300mg per day to prevent further sleep disturbance.

Good night, ---.  ]

[ from: ---

You can pry my coffee from my cold dead hands, hippy.

Good night.  ]

Wildly specific advice aside, it was-- kinda sweet. That bit that you assumed was a joke about “receiving a salary” got a small chuckle from you. After waiting a few minutes though, it appeared that he was done messaging for the night.

Not too bad, you hummed to yourself, First potential friend outside of campus in four years. Adult humaning at last.

---

“Checking in on site” was just code for “bring us all our coffee order before you do any real work” and you did so as usual, dropping the cups off at the various desks, crowded into the small “conference” building. All of the DCRU’s own buildings were of the same shake-n-bake quality as the shelters put up for the androids. They did little to hold out the chill, but they kept out the damp. Several people had space heaters beneath their desks or blankets wrapped around their legs.

After dropping off the last drink, you made your way over to the desk of the person you liked most of all the superiors, chiefly because he would never ask you to bring him coffee. His name was Josh, and he had served as one of Markus’ companions during the start and the heart of the revolution. Prior to Jericho, he had been a university professor, which was something you found common ground with.

He was sitting still, as if staring off into the distance, but a quick note of his eyes would show them flickering back and forth. He was reading.

“You ready to do some real work?” he said, voice tinged with faint humor as he continued to scan through whatever files were working their way through his synthetic mind. You’d gotten use to this.

“Yes, for the love of Markus Christ.” you huffed, enjoying in the private joke. Since the revolution there had been no less than 112 articles official and amateur declaring Markus as an android “Messiah”. Based upon Josh’s word, this caused the actual Markus a great deal of discomfort, but still the metaphor stuck.

“I’m going to have to tell Simon that one.” Josh said with a laugh, finally turning his eyes to you indicating he was finished with whatever he was working on.

“But first things first.” he said, pulling out a tablet and handing it to you. It was one of his.

“You know most of these “deviant” criminal cases are still on lock down?”

You nodded.

“We’ve gotten clearance to have the files downloaded. Part of our agreements with the government involve… some explaining. I won’t sugar coat it. Some of these open cases are violent, resulting in death of the human or the android or sometimes both.”

You swallowed, eyes flicking to the tablet as if there would suddenly appear images but there was only a menu showing how to accept file download.

“... death can be a hard topic for anyone. Even more so for your people when it involves Android on Human crimes. You may see some disturbing things. You alright with this?”

“Of course!” you said, a bit quickly and a bit more defensively than intended.

“I mean that… I want to do anything I can to help. I know that… I know they are pressuring to have these androids turned over for prosecution.”

If Josh were non-deviant, he wouldn’t have tensed at the words, but he did. 

“Historically speaking, we haven’t given any android justice. I know this is important. Anything I feel is secondary to that… is what I mean.”

Josh smiled warmly, standing up and hesitantly patting your shoulder.

“You remind me of my old students, ---. I’m sure you’ll do what you can.”

You nodded vigorously, because you would. 

---

It was too far and too cold to walk the length of Detroit back towards downtown, so you took an automated cab. You’d tucked Josh’s tablet safely away in a rucksack over your shoulder and flipped through your phone idly.

You hovered over the message window with Connor for a moment before quickly sending off a few lines.

[ from: ---

Just so there are no surprises, I’m heading to the DPD station rn for unrelated stuff. Might see you! ]

It took you way longer than necessary to actually hit send, but when you did you were shocked that his response was almost instantaneous. 

[ from: Connor

Unrelated to what? Also, are you alright? Do you have an open case with the DPD? ]

[ from: ---

It’s all good. And meant I just happen to be that way as opposed to ya know, stalking. ]

[ from: Connor

“Stalking” does imply stealth, which would be in direct opposition of your current actions if that was the intent. I agree that your  actions do not constitute “stalking”.  ]

You huffed a sigh, but then were startled as the message pinged again.

[ from: Connor

Bit weird though.  ]

You felt a smile slowly form at one corner of your lips

[ from: Connor

That was a joke, in case it was too vague.  ]

[ from: ---

I gotcha ;)

See you in a bit maybe.  ]

And with that, you shut off your phone’s display just in time to exit the cab out front of the DPD building. Inside, the DPD had the same tell tale signs of the android revolution with its lack of noticeable androids. It was not until you got up to the reception desk that it dawned on you they both were identical. They were androids, they had just removed their LED. She was even wearing a name tag that said, Alicia in clear bold font. She was wearing regular professional wear, no Android identifiers in sight.

You’d heard the DPD had gotten on board relatively quickly with providing androids with pay, not wanting to lose the bulk of their staff. While the cleaning crews were absent, the receptionist turned up her face and smiled pleasantly,

“Good morning, how may I assist you?”

“Good morning!” you said, a bit too quickly, “My name is ---, I’m here from the Crisis Response Unit. I have a meeting with Captain Fowler.”

“Yes, we were told to expect you! Do you have your I.D.?” she said, and you were struck by how… friendly she was, as opposed to all the other ST300’s you’d encountered. You pulled out your “badge”, which was nothing more than an I.D. card with a special DCRU designation stamp inside a flip wallet. You passed it to her and she scanned it quickly.

“You’re all set! Just head right through these gates here and go straight back. Fowler’s office is the one in the middle with the glass doors, it should not be hard to miss, but if you get lost just grab one of the officers. They all should know all too well where his office is.” she said with a faint laugh at some private joke.

You nodded, fumbling to put your I.D. with a quick “thank you” before you headed through the gates. It was bigger inside than you expected, with several desks and lots of people working, standing and having their morning coffee or otherwise engaged. You noted the glass enclosed office towards the middle of the room and headed in that direction. There were three people already waiting inside and two of which you recognized immediately.

Captain Fowler was up, preparing to come open the door for you, but Connor beat him in a few brisk steps.

Hank was grinning at you in that suspicious way that you recalled from grade school… like he knew something you didn’t. In this situation, it was pretty unsettling. Did they find that parking ticket from sophomore year?!

“Good morning Ms. ---, please, have a seat.” Fowler gestured to the one other empty chair next to Hank, “These two suspect characters are Lieutenant Hank Anderson and his partner, Connor. They have been working the deviant android cases since the start.”

Connor politely offered you his hand, which you took. He squeezed gently, mischief glinting in those brown eyes before he let go and all but ushered you to your seat. Hank snorted.

“We’ve met.” Hank said, disregarding any pleasantries. 

Fowler looked surprised.

“We frequent the same coffee shop.” you added, “So it was a very brief meeting.”

“You’re lucky.” Fowler said, eyeing Hank with disapproval. Hank seemed oblivious, or more likely, immune.

“We’ve been informed that the ADA’s office is seeking to prosecute these androids. It is highly likely that they are being concealed among the deviants at the relief camp.” Fowler leaned back in his chair, “So, we’ve been told to assist you in whatever way you need.”

“Some of us are a bit too eager…” you heard Hank muttered under his breath. Connor’s eyes trailed on him slowly, making no expression you could see but Hank must have gotten the message because he grumbled and slumped back.

“I appreciate that, Captain Fowler.” you began, “Markus has agreed that his people will search into the population of their androids for these individuals. It’s a good start to integrate androids into the justice system.”

Though you had your own opinions regarding the effectiveness of that. How could any android expect a fair trial when a jury of their peers would most likely be full of humans? But that was a topic for another time and place.

“These files are sealed, so we are requesting a downloaded copy so that efforts can be made to locate these androids.”

Captain Fowler looked unconvinced.

“I have confirmation from the governor and the President’s staff approving this request, if you would like to see it. The governor also said you might like to call her office as well.”

“I think I will do that. In the meanwhile, if you’d gentleman escort Ms. --- to the break-room where she might be a bit more comfortable?”

Hank stood and gave Connor a hard pat, “All you buddy.”

He left without a second glance.

“Right this way. ---.” Connor said, Chief Fowler now too engrossed with his phone to notice Connor used your first name.

It was hard to contain a smile as you walked alongside the detective, following him to a small break-room.

“Coffee?” he asked and you nodded briskly. He poured some of the dark, strong smelling liquid into a mug that read “#1 Dad” and after considering for a moment, pot still in his hand, he poured another.

Bringing both he came to sit with you at a rickety table, stabilized by a half folded paper plate under one leg.

“Don’t think this counts.” you said, taking the mug in both hands, enjoying the warmth if not the overly strong taste.

Connor did not drink.

“You work with the Detroit Crisis Response Unit?” he said, getting right to the point.

“Volunteered. Don’t give me too much credit though. When I joined up, it was all about flooding relief. The Android situation was a surprise.”

“Do you dislike Androids?” he asked.

“Wow. Talk about a hot button topic, Connor. You sure you don’t wanna ask me what my favorite color is first? My favorite movie?”

“No. I would much rather know your stance on the current events seeing as you are working as a relief volunteer.”

Direct. You hid behind the lip of the mug, feeling his eyes keenly on you.

“Why do you wanna know?” you countered, taking a small sip.

“I’m simply curious as to how you feel about your current assignment.”

“I feel just fine.” you said, “I guess… well. Guess sometimes they just spook me. Just like most people.”

“I see.” Connor said, seeming to relax a fraction, “You are afraid of them?”

“Not “afraid” just-- reasonably cautious.”

Connor seemed to be processing this, tapping his fingertips against the mug in his hand and watching himself do so intently.

“You worked on “deviant” cases for awhile, yeah?” you began, “Are… do they make you nervous? Because that’d be understandable given what you’ve seen.”

“They-- did. Before. Now I realize it’s the same as humans. We’re all capable of violence.”

Before you could continue, another man walked into the break-room, smile slick as oil.

“Well, there you are, tin-can.” he said with a smirk, picking up the coffee pot and sloshing some of it onto the counter as he poured a mug full.

“Whose this?” he said, giving you a smirk.

“A liaison from DCRU.” Connor replied coolly, bringing the coffee mug to his lips.

“Is that even good for your health, Con?” the man asked, but Connor ignored him.

“And who is this charming fellow.” you asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Detective Reed. Gavin, Reed.” he answered, giving you a wink, “Now I can see why Con here was in such a hurry to get his ring off before you showed up.”

Ah. That. That was. Not expected. Your blood ran cold, eyes immediately falling to Connor’s left hand as if you’d catch sight of a tan line or some other indicator that you’d been incredibly stupid.

“I got some super glue over at my desk if you need a quick fix.” he said, tapping Connor’s chair with the toe of his boot. Connor, looked somewhere between deflated and coldly controlled anger.

Hank’s appearance in the break room door thankfully put a halt to whatever was going on between the two men, his eyes fixing Gavin with a vicious glare.

“Don’t you have reports to finish, detective?” he said, circling in so that Gavin was forced to walk towards the door.

“Just tryin’ be a good wing-man for my bro, Connor.” he said, disappearing into the hall with a laugh.

Hank looked between you and Connor, noting the change in your demeanor, arms pulled in and looking anywhere but at his partner.

“Fowler uh-- got the call. You can come over to my desk and we’ll get you sorted.”

You hurriedly stood, fishing out your tablet so you’d be ready to download those files and get out of here as soon as possible.

Connor said nothing in his defense, but he watched you intently, searching.

“... thanks for the coffee.” you said, following Hank out.

---

Connor did not join you at Hank’s desk, which must not have been part of the plan because every few seconds Hank looked over his shoulder for him.

“Here. You should get a prompt to download any second now. There are photos, so if you’re squeamish I advised ya not look at the screen while they are downloading.”

You took his advice, letting the tablet drop unceremoniously to the desk as you leaned against it, arms crossed.

Hank was not scowling for once, but you were, brows furrowed tight and troubled.

“Look… ---, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t-- just don’t judge Connor before you get to know him. I know he’s a weird one. I know most people, hell even me, have this innate prejudice, but he likes you. Which is a big deal for him. He’s learning how this goes, so I don’t know-- maybe give him a break.”

“... did… did his wife die or something?”

Hank stared at you, eyes wide and confused.

“His wife.” he repeated, not so much a question but a confirmation of whether or not you were a rambling idiot.

“That detective! Gavin whatever-the-hell said that Connor took off his ring before I got here!”

Hank groaned, resting his face in his hand as he shook his head. The sound quickly turned into a laugh of sorts. He looked back up at you with that same mystified look he had before.

“You really don’t know. Kid, Connor took off his LED before you got here. That’s what Gavin meant. He’s an android.”

A lot, like a lot of things suddenly made sense now.

You sunk into a nearby chair, dazed.

“You really had no idea? With how fuckin’ weird he is?”

“I thought he was just… like, ya know. A hipster intellectual.”

Hank choked on nothing, busting into a loud laugh, “Well you ain’t wrong, kid!”

The tablet pinged, indicating it had finished downloading. Hank popped up, dismissing the file before you could pick it up.

“Like I said. Some gory stuff. I’d advise you get that to whoever wants it and not go poking around in it.” he handed you the tablet, “And for god’s sake, go talk to him before you leave. You’re the first person he’s been around that ain’t me and trust me, that’s good for him.”

You ran your hands over the tablet’s smooth sides, mind going a hundred miles a minute. You turned to leave and saw Connor coming back towards the desks, seeing clearly now the flashing LED he had replaced on the side of his temple.

His expression was blank, but you had dealt with enough androids that you could just faintly see the lines of nervousness and… hopefulness as he passed you.

You caught his forearm, touching the same place where androids connected systems.

“... I don’t dislike androids.” you whispered, risking a look at him through your eyelashes. He was-- smiling and it was so damn beautiful you felt the wall you had started constructing around your heart from Gavin’s words crack open.

“I’m glad to hear it.” 

You smiled, “Text me when you are ready to shell out for that latte.” and gave his arm one last small squeeze before heading out of the station.