#I’m glad you feel the same way and that you get to revisit your story! that must be something else 🦦📝

[enmi-land]

THANK YOU, TUMBLR

hello everyone! if you’re seeing this, it’s because i (dia) am no longer going to be in tumblr starting from today onwards. it was a difficult decision to make, but for a multitude of reasons. i feel like I’ve started to become more detached from tumblr as a whole, and it’s not anyone’s fault in particularly, but writing here doesn’t bring me the same joy as it used to, and I’ve lost a lot of motivation for it over the time I’ve been here but especially because of all the hiatuses i had to take for uni. which brings me to my next point, but this blog was my safe space, but now I’ve been finding new ways to cope with everything, and I’ve started to focus more on my life irl. but the main reason is just because i’m getting busier and even if I’m on a break right now, next year is going to be one of the most important years of my life, and i think it’s best that i get rid of all my distractions—which unfortunately includes writing. but that being said, i’m going to miss all the amazing people i’ve met here on this site, and thank you to all th people who have continuously shown me love and support! I’ll always remember your kindness, as they’re the things that encourage me to be at my best even when I feel low. I hope you will also receive the same love and compassion that you’ve shown me, and I’m forever grateful for the chance offering you at least okce in my life—and damn this makes me emotional just writing this. thank you to all my readers who have been on mila’s journey to witness her grow!! even tho i won’t be writing for her anymore, I’m glad that while I did, people were able to enjoy her stories as much as I enjoyed writing them. i’ll be leaving this blog (enmi-land) in the hands of my lovely wifey selene to decide what to do with, but otherwise I’ll be deactivating my main accounts to make sure i stay away. selene you already know how grateful I am to you but thank you again for everything, and for putting up with babysitting this blog for me when i disappear. I leave it all to you to do what you wish with it!! but feel free to save all the fics I’ve written before the time ever comes where all of them will be deleted for good. I’m sorry I couldn’t deliver on a lot of the requests and story ideas that I got your hopes up for—but maybe one day in the future, when I’ve worked out the things I want to, I’ll have the urge to come back and revisit my once favourite hobby. but until then—I’ll be signing out with this final note! ^^

thank you for everything! —love, dia

[kosmicdream]

Please don’t think of me as a male artist.

..is what i used to feel, for many years, even when I finally came out as trans. In a way, its one of the factors that kept me from pursuing HRT (which im so glad i finally did.) After only one year, my feeling on this hasn’t evaporated completely but i suppose I kind of don’t care anymore about how I am interpreted, as a person/artist, ect.. It isn’t something i can be in control of anyway, which upsets me less than it used to.

Sometimes in the past, the way i write characters has often been analyzed by the gender I am, or appear to be - that my male characters were written like how a woman writes men (too emotional/vulnerable, ect) , or how my female characters are written thoughtlessly- like how a man would. (too horny, stupid, violent, ect.) Its not a new way to analyze a story but I can’t say that it doesn’t annoy me. It could still be true that my characters/writing could fall into sexist/problematic archetypes, but gendering my work based on the way my characters act always reminds me of the “you draw like a girl/boy” comments, which used to be more frequent when i was a teen.. But the idea that boys = angular, good at cars! Or something and girls are, i dunno, gonna draw sexy anime men or something. Even as a teenager, i hated this idea that my art was “girl art.” Truthfully, i always viewed my art and myself as an artist as genderfluid, maybe even a type of drag performance, where i can explore any gender and not be limited by my body, it was my escape from that. Which naturally, it became my place to explore gender presentation and eventually helped me “crack my egg” of realizing i was a trans man.

I do think its important to reflect or regard my work as the art made by a trans man, or transmasculine person. I feel more and more just like “just a dude” these days. I am also a gay man. I think those things are important to my work. I think that the analysis of my work in regards to my identity as a person is important to reflect on. I also think the steps I took to get there were important, that transformation and my continued exploration of my older selves and more “label-less” self in the art i make. That’s a private space for me, that I happen to share with the world too. I feel the audience is part of my work too, I welcome it even. I have become part of the audience too and I look at my work as if I’m also a stranger. The older my work gets, the more of it I can study, the more I can see plainly how I got here and also it feels so confusing how it did. I try to study my art to help me find where I want to go to next, a map to guide me. 

In some ways, I feel more lost than I did before, where all my instinct was pushing me was just to grow and explore as much as possible. Now, I don’t have that same type of energy that I used to. Its not a bad thing, its just different. There’s a sense of duty and commitment and a sense of dread of the time it takes to do what I feel compelled to do on this step of my journey. I am trying to focus more on the things I used to think I was incapable of before and I’m trying to remember the things I used to think were so effortless. I can tell my art is sharper but it feels almost like a mimicry of my older selves - at least when I revisit old work to continue its journey past where its been frozen in time. Comics take a long time, after all, it's normal that after a few years - a story might be yours, but it feels like it belongs to the past of you too, maybe more than it does in the present. I like the commitment I have to my comics though, its not a burden to me. The feeling is strange anyway. 

I tend to think that 1-3 years of a project being made, those are the honeymoon years of the relationship. But you hit a wall in 4-5 years and sometimes you’re in denial about it, you try to keep the dreams and feeling alive as you drag it forward, and sometimes the project really reaches its end around 8-10 years and it becomes a type of empty promise to return to it. Not that this is true for every artist, every project, ect. But I think its a natural lifespan for comics that I’ve observed, and it's because it is uncomfortable to face morality and the morality of our own art. Art is this escape, and when it becomes a job - or an uncomfortable mirror into these things about ourselves, about our failures and promises we couldn’t manage to make, the pressures of the audience, the boredom of the task if you have already told yourself the story a thousand times and you have no longer a desire to continue it, ect - its a normal and natural feeling to want to drop it off a cliff. Blow it up, start over fresh - I know the feeling! Its happened many times. But its kind of temporary? Then, it cycles back to nostalgia - and the desire to create and recreate and reform the past to something tangible again.. uh

Sorry, sorry.. I am getting far from the point I started with. Not that any of this makes too much sense, I feel like writing it anyway. It bothers me that the fantasy of art to me, is the ability to dissolve yourself and stop existing, you are the creator creating. You don’t need to be confined by, really anything. It is in “your control” now, and you surrender your own control by falling into the art and letting it “lead you” places. This is a very seductive process and while it might temporarily be fulfilling (even when done for a lifetime) cannot really.. What.. completely fill the void of whatever you’re chasing down there? Its nice though. At least, when I think about when i first started drawing comics, it was to draw Vash the Stampede (from the original 98 anime series, i hate the new one. We’re not talking about there here) coming out of my television after a thunderstorm and he had to just live in my house now. It was the closest thing I could do to actually manifesting that as reality, of making this amazing anime husband come to life to just like live with me now and be my boyfriend. In a lot of ways I don’t see my pursuit of writing ocs, specifically male ones, really much different from this same desire of like “i can just make my perfect boyfriend!” born out of the loneliness I felt in my heart, and the fear that there is no boyfriend out there for me so i need to frankenstein my own - and this boyfriend will be poifect in every way. Or like, crafting the perfect “relationship” in replace the lack of one, or just the fantasy of watching very abstract extremes come to life in various puppets i crafted, beating the shit out of each other for entertainment. But to subject all these.. Abstract Internal conflicts as simply like a “boy author thing” or “girl author thing” is like.. Tiring. Are we really not past that? (Of course not.) 

Like there’s some hidden truth to the way someone might write/draw, the way that “makes sense” in retrospect once the identity of the author is analyzed and discovered.. How can you make sense of the self, let alone the other .. and In a way that’s permanent? And gendered? Does art now have an inherent sex characteristic? But I cannot deny that I do want my art to look and feel like part of who I am, what I have chosen to sexually identify as - a transgender, a man, a faggot. I DO identify as a sexual deviant, but that is hilarious because I have been single for so long at this point I can’t even remember in a tangible way what that felt like and I question if I ever felt it or experienced it “for realsies” because of the experiences I have had or havent didn’t feel very fulfilling or romantic, despite that being something I desire so much - and so I feel like a failure. And to create art just based on the fantasy of desire rather than the lived reality, can it even really display what that would actually be like. So its embarrassing, right? 

I have worked on my art a lot and I have often thought, or come to the conclusion (true or not) that my singleness is the result of my pursuit and dedication to art - which is the pursuit of self isolation and protection from harm. From influence, from acknowledging that life can exist and someday end. And when you work on projects for years and years, the pride/shame dichotomy only gets more.. Weird. It gets weird, guys! It always was weird, but.. I just think about so many my heroes, my art inspirations, working decades on their art.. I follow in their footsteps too and it feels scarier and lonelier than I expected it to be. And the more and more I realized that as a reality, as my 20s faded away, the more I kept walking. I wasn’t gonna stop now, even if I could, I don’t want to and its not hard to do other things too. I have a slower pace than I used to (thank god) and gets slower but I’m still moving. 

I don’t post or write my little art journals as much as I used to. Mostly cause I don’t really have anything good to say and it kinda feels embarrassing to post them too LOL. But.. whatever!! Its been a weird four months of me being off work and I’m about to go back to being a normal working person again.. But its like, its weird to tell people about your art when they ask about what you do. Its like “oh yeah, i draw webcomics” and they wont get it, you’ll say - “yeah its 8,000 pages long” and they’ll say, “thats a lot!” and it is. They’re very nice about it, but there’s a lack of satisfaction there with what that means. I don’t expect it, that’d be dumb as hell. Its nice to take a break from it too, to discover other sides of myself I never let shine because i stayed indoors for a decade, but its a weird feeling too. Like, what will it mean in the end? I don’t really know. 

I don’t think I need “success” to feel like this was worth it, its not like a trophy is gonna come in the mail for the good workTM I’ve done - there is no closure to the work I make even when a story finishes. I have to keep going regardless of that, and its strange to know it won’t ever feel done. But I am so thirsty for that temporary itch to be scratched, it keeps me working every day for the “maybe” of what that might feel like. Kinda silly, really. Is it my “male” pride that demands recognition? Would respect be given more freely if I had “remained” to be perceived as a woman, for subverting the expectations for what a woman can/can’t write? (lol) Is my value as a person determined by that sort of thing in my art? I don’t think of my pride as gendered, but I know its there and I know because of who I say I am, my pride will be gendered by others. I think when I was a woman, that pissed me off more than now because.. Well.. I wasn’t even living as the way i wanted to. I still don’t really live as the way I want to, the way I want to be perceived, but even being on HRT for a little more than 1 year, without much else lifestyle changes, I feel a little more at peace not mattering what others will take away from me or what i write about. I have a lot of my own expectations for myself and what i write about and that concerns me far more. 

I don’t really know how else to end this, I’m going to eat chocolate now. Oh, to answer your question (?) if you might have this one: can I think of you as a male artist, kosmic? sure. I am one after all.

[fir-fireweed]

I'd like to apologize beforehand for such a personal message, feel free to delete it, but I couldn't understand why your story struck such a chord with me at first - until it hit me that I felt like a kid again.

I grew up in an environment where expressing yourself wasn't exactly welcome, eventually I just stopped talking (mostly); I won't get into much beyond that, but your story brought me back to when I discovered reading could be my solace. Where I found family, friends and love; that I could have thoughts, feelings and people beyond those at home and that they weren't unwelcome, even if they were only known to me.

I felt very comforted when reading your story and the characters' journeys. Now it's a mix of things, but ultimately happy I think. I've had bouts of nostalgia - or maybe just longing for simpler times - throughout life, of course, but I'm not sure if anything has ever taken me back quite like this. Maybe because I'm still trying to learn how to express and find myself too. Also, dare I say it kind of reminds me of when I first read Westerfeld's Uglies and The Secret Hour? I'd been thinking about revisiting them before happening upon the post of your IF and after reading it, I want to revisit my old friends even more.

I'm sorry if this message got a bit too uncomfortably personal, but I had to tell someone and it felt most appropriate for it to be you. Your story touched my heart and is one I will remember as fondly as my childhood reads; I hope it brings the same happiness and/or comfort to others. My thanks to you, your inspirations, and from what I've read on your blog so far, your sister.

I sat on this for a while, deciding whether or not to respond—not because I took any offense with this ask, quite the contrary, but because it is so deeply personal I felt bad sharing. But ultimately I felt the need to respond, and tell you how much this ask touched me.

On the one hand, I am so incredibly grateful that you shared your story with me, and I am humbled that my story resonated with you in such a way. That is truly the best compliment a writer can receive—that their story connected you to them. I cannot thank you enough. ❤️

On the other, I am sorry that you had to experience such a childhood. No one should be made to feel like their words aren’t good enough, that they’re worth less than another’s. By opening up to me it seems you’ve succeeded in expressing yourself, at least a little, at least I hope so, and I think you are very thoughtful and courageous for having done so.

I’ve heard mixed reviews on the Uglies series, and while I’ve not read them, I’ve been curious. I do enjoy dystopian reads, obviously, but I also desperately need it to be an uplifting read. I need that happy ending. That’s the balance I’ve tried to strike with Viatica, and I’m glad it brought you some comfort.

Thank you, THANK YOU, for telling me. And I speak for my sister as well when I say, you’ve touched our hearts, too! ❤️

[infiniteetcetera]

I’m glad the HOFAS bonus chapter is finally helping some people realize Cassian is a crappy mate to Nesta because I feel like the fandom is genuinely blind when it comes to this like… the amount of people I see praising Cassian for being the best bat boy/the best LI is so wild to me

Say what you will about Rhys (not about Az tho, I take no criticism on my precious broody shadow boy❤️) but I genuinely can’t imagine him ever letting someone talk to Feyre the way Cassian lets everyone talk to/about Nesta, same for Az and any of his girls. If Cassian genuinely/morally agrees with Rhys on some matters he’s totally entitled to that, but keep that to yourself and stand up for your partner first. Like genuinely I can’t even fathom letting someone talk to my girl the way Rhys does to Nesta and just keeping my mouth shut😩 It’s not about whether Rhys or Nesta is right in the moment, it’s the principle of the matter. Even Feyre and Rhys agree in ACOWAR that they are totally entitled to disagree with each other in private but will always stick up for and by each other to the rest of the world and present a united front. That’s what a relationship should be. It’s also just so so sad to see this happen to Nesta when we know she often thinks very little of herself already.

Anyway, I would really not be sad if Nessian is separated in one of the future books (I don’t think it’d be that crazy either, SJM has done this a thousand times and they’re very much giving Feyre/Tamlin or Celeana/Chaol to me). A part of me is deeply saddened by this because I loved them up through ACOWAR and was rooting for them more than the other ACOTAR couples but if they’re going to keep up this vibe i want them done with honestly…

Side note, I think next book is probably Elain/Azriel’s but maybe after that we’ll get a multi-POV one? KOA or EOS style where we can revisit Nesta’s story arc.

[hyunsvngs]

i had no idea there used to be two writers running the blog!🫢 how fun!! tysm for reaching out to ask them! fairy hyune can gaslight me any day, sign me up plz🤤

i have another thought while i’m here🤭 so if i remember correctly, the fic that made me follow you originally back in the day was day 6 of kinktober 2023 with minho and the period sex kink. i am shamelessly so into that kink and tropes related to it! it’s just like really hot for a man to be unbothered by something that tends to hold a lot of shame for some people. you did an absolutely fantastic job with it and it’s probably one of my all time favorite fics!💕

so revisiting that story, do you think minho and reader now regularly fuck around when she’s on her period? if so, i had the thought of what if somehow the other members found out that they did that? maybe minho unthinkingly admits he finds it really hot when he does that with reader, and the others are shocked when he says that. maybe some of them get grossed out at the idea. i feel like minho would either chew them out telling them to grow up, or get protective/defensive in some way bc he’ll always take care of his girl no matter what state her body is in. it’s his after all.

idk i’m just curious what you think would happen in that situation!

as always thanks for sharing your beautiful brain with us!🫶

it's really okay!! billy is my best friend and has been for 7 whole years so it's not a hassle :3

WOW. i'm really glad u loved the period fic wtf?? it's one of my favourite ones i've ever written!!!! i think that YES they definitely do fuck regularly on her period now!!!!!!! i can imagine perhaps some of the younger members being like um wtf until minho explains to them that really, it's just the same, just a little bloodier hahaha

but wow i'm really glad u loved it so much that you had questions about it HGJDGNDH

[trulybetty]

2023 Tumblr Top 10 Posts

This was really interesting to go through as I really try to avoid anything related to stats - but also fun to revisit some posts/fics I’d forgotten about!

This year was such a transformative year in many different ways, that I’m still trying to process with 2024 quickly approaching. I’m looking forward to seeing what the New Year brings. But I hope it brings me more of the same I’ve experienced here - community building and some wonderful people that I get to call friends 💕

So if you’re interested, check out the following! If you do your own Top 10, please tag me in it! 🙌 you can do your own here!

1. 879 notes - Jun 26 2023 - Pre-Outbreak/Non-Outbreak Joel (photo set)

2. 413 notes - Sep 10 2023 - Sequins (Joel)

Still so thankful for @wildemaven posting that gif - because if she hadn’t Sequins!Joel would never have been created! It’s the gift that keeps on giving. This was also my first foray into anything non-TLOU themed for Joel and I’m still shocked it was received so well. 

3. 306 notes - Sep 26 2023 - Happy Birthday (Joel)

Written for Joel’s birthday - this was just straight up smut and birthday sex. But hey, it’s canon Joel likes it gentle, steady, nice and slow… so who was I to not give him nice and slow 🫠

4. 237 notes - Aug 16 2023 - Stood Up (Frankie)

To this day I don’t remember where this idea came from. I was really intimidated to write for Frankie, like I almost didn’t post this! But I’m so glad I did, it’s spurred several other one-shots involving Frankie x Mav and a current (neglected) WIP that I’m excited to get back to in the new year.

5. 227 notes - Aug 31 2023 - Marcus Pike coded Pedro, which inspired this (and number 7).

6. 225 notes - Jul 6 2023 - New (to me) Whiskey promo shoot (photo set)

7. 205 notes - Sep 2 2023 - Sick Day (Marcus)

When I first came back to fanfiction I was so confused by the reader insert format. The last time I wrote fanfic, it was canon characters or OC’s - which is what both Gold Rush and Chiffon (my first) are written in. So in order to try out the format I started with Marcus and what is now the Sweet Jane series. I have plans for those two, I have how they met mapped out in my head, that I hope to explore soon!

8. 175 notes - Aug 4 2023 - Strings (Joel)

This was another nerve wracking foray - reader insert Joel and because it was a challenge to write Joel with someone other than my OC. It started as a one-shot, that then was three parts, then four and finally finished at five. It’s also the only series I’ve managed to complete ��. I’m so proud of this one, it has a special place in my heart - this is the ending Joel deserves, living on a little farmhouse being taken care of and a reluctant chicken dad.

9. 167 notes - Aug 14 2023 - A Sunday Night Ramble (text post)

This was a late night epiphany - where I realised that I was trying to force writing and make my two OG series’ fit into more palatable moulds for others consumption rather than writing the story I wanted. It’s also a good reminder that it’s okay to take a break from something that isn’t currently serving you. If you come back to it two day later, two weeks later or never - it’s okay. You’re not beholden to anyone. This is all supposed to be fun first and foremost, if you’re not having fun then it may be time to step back and re-evaluate.

10. 166 notes - Aug 24 2023 - Drip (Joel)

I still get sad when I think about this piece. Like real sad. I don’t know if I could write something like this again now - or ever. I was well and truly in my feels with this one. I made the decision to watch a walkthrough of all the cut scenes of TLOU2 and it broke me. I knew what was coming, but knowing and watching were two different things. I do like that I left this one open to interpretation - meaning I can revisit one day if I want, so who knows.

NPT’s: @wildemaven, @gnpwdrnwhiskey, @rhoorl, @morallyinept, @frenchiereading, @maggiemayhemnj, @magpiepills, @goodwithcheese, @secretelephanttattoo, @sin-djarin, @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin, @undercoverpena, @nerdieforpedro, @linzels-blog, @for-a-longlongtime, @avastrasposts​, @musings-of-a-rose, @mysterious-moonstruck-musings​ & anyone else who wants to play - consider this me tagging you in! Please tag me if you do it! I’d love to see! 🙌

[saltpepperbeard]

WAAAAAAGHHG HEY ITS ME AGAIN IM SO SORRY I HAVE A THOUGHT AND DONT KNOW WHO ELSE TO GIVE IT TO: Im going to try really hard to be quick!! Still reeling from ep 8!!! (I have so many thoughts and emotions- tldr I know it struggled with pacing but I just really loved it. I’m so glad this show exists. Not going to recover anytime soon!! Excellent.)

I think the ending is a great setup for what could be coming next! Looking back at this season as a whole it feels to me like they had two major points they zeroed in on: 1- Edward’s state of mind. We spend a lot of time with him when no one else is- we’re with him in his head while he tries to process what he wants and how he’s going to get it. We see him wrestle with feeling unlovable, and then we sort of sit with him in his pov while he starts, (STARTS!! He’s not done yet!!) to understand that he IS loved and there ARE people waiting for him. 2- The Golden Age of piracy is ending. They lost The Republic of Pirates, they lost Spanish Jackie’s bar, Zhengs fleet, and they lost Izzy, the most pirate to ever pirate. After the couple of weeks(??) season two takes place- the OFMD cinematic universe is going to be different for pirates now.

ALL THAT TO SAY- after Izzy’s funeral, (rip king I sobbed lol) when Zheng asks Ed and Stede to team up- Stede says something like, “He needs a minute”/“Maybe give him a minute”. So they agree to help- but they stay behind to build their inn. (“It’s a fixer upper, but the bones are good.” ITS THEM ITS THEM THEYRE EACHOTHERS FOUNDATIONS THEY JUST HAVE TO BUILD ONTO IT TO MAKE IT A HOME IM GOING TO TURN TO ASH) this is a decision both of them make- this will give them time to just be. I think Ed still has a ways to go, and talks to have, and maybe needs some time to grieve Izzy, but Stede is there, and they love eachother, and they will be ok. Shit will still go down, and they’ll get involved again eventually, but they’re going to take a minute. NOW. That wraps up this season as a part two of a Three part show- we have a setup for the next big bad, and we’ve focused a lot on Ed (accompanied by Stede’s) issues/insecurities with a focus on Ed having to deal with his issues directly. He had to sit and talk, honestly talk. Do you know. Which half of our main pair. Has not done that?? The guy who the show still deliberately makes a point of showing us he is STILL. NOT OK. Granted, he had the end of season one to realize what he wanted and what he felt, but then we had so many moments this season of him reacting to those feelings but not actually talking about them to anyone. SO. What if the last season is meant to be point 2 revisited- piracy is still ending, the world is changing so how do we deal? And point 1, but FLIPPED. WHAT IF. Season three is Stede’s turn revisited??? Season three with Ed AND Stede TALKING and Stede genuinely coming to terms with the fact that the people he loves are not better off without him- that he doesn’t have to earn the love he thinks he doesn’t deserve?? What if he gets to take that final step into a new world where being a pirate can’t be the same as it was before, but that spirit carries on and now he knows he’s loved and has worth regardless?? I STILL WANT THAT MAN TO BE THROWN IN THE EMOTIONAL BATHTUB IS WHAT IM SAYING. I don’t know if this is anything, or if this is true or accurate!!! Do I just want to see them kiss and cry some more?? MAYBE. Aaaaagh I just really hope djenks gets to made season 3- he deserves to finish his pirate story and I would very much like to be here when he does. hbo max count your days.

Also I once again want to thank you for your thoughts and screams over the course of this season- you really are incredible at character analysis and it’s been an absolute pleasure to come running over to this corner after each episode to see what you think. Thank you for posting. YOU. are WONDERFUL THANK YOU <3 <3 (also. Also also. THEY KISSED SO MANY TIMES ED READ STEDES FUCKIN LETTER ED SAID I LOVE YOU AND THEY ARE NO LONGER SEPARATED. MARRIAGE. I CANT BELIEVE THIS SHOW IS THE WAY IT IS. There is still an owch but!!! It’s a good owchie now 😭😭)

I AM ONCE AGAIN HONORED TO GET SUCH A BEAUTIFUL STRING OF THOUGHTS IN MY INBOX??? <3

PARTICULARLY EXCITED, HAPPY, POSITIVE ONES SJDKSDS LIKE I AM HUGGING YOU SO SO TIGHT <3 <3 <3

AND ALSO, I'M SHARING SO MANY OF YOUR SENTIMENTS TOO SDJKJSHDKLS LIKE-

*INHALES* So seeing the little house in the BTS footage ~*~fucked me up~*~ because I just had a FEELING it was going to be both literal and symbolic for them and their relationship. A little house that's struggling, and falling apart in some places, but is still standing after years and years of battering. It's been through the wringer, yet it still flourishes with so much life and beauty. And it has the potential to grow into something even more beautiful and strong with some mutual effort and tender love and care.

AND THAT'S THEM!!! THAT'S THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!! Like, as you said, they're BOTH still so hurt. They BOTH still have issues to work on. But now they're there, together. They're standing on the same, rickety, wooded floors. They're there, ready to patch things, side by side.

AND YES, I've very much thought it was going to be Stede for Season 1's focus, Ed for Season 2's focus, and then both of them for Season 3's focus, but I do like your idea of it looping back around to Stede! Or maybe like, SHARING the focus. Because, as you said, Stede needs his fRIGGIN BATHTUB, and Ed still needs time to figure out who he is.

It's just such a delicious setup indeed, and I am crossing my fingers so so hard that it gets greenlit quickly for us here. There's just so much MEAT to their dynamic that's still left, still so much to be EXPLORED AND GROWN. AND ESPECIALLY, LIKE YOU SAID, WITH THEIR WORLD COMPLETELY CHANGING AROUND THEM TOO!!! THE BRITISH!!! THE REVENGE BEING CAPTAINED BY FRENCHIE!!!! ZHENG AND AUNTIE WANTING TO GET AT RICKY!!!!!! SO SO MUCH!!!!!!!

BUT anyway, thank YOU so much for taking the time to come in here and share YOUR thoughts, too! It's been such a delight reading them, and I'm so glad we could MUTUALLY SCREAM SDJKSDKLS <3

[duffmckagans]

hi kelsey! I just wanted to say how excited I am about your rewrite—i’ve been quietly following your blog for years, and it always stood out to me as such a thoughtful and welcoming space. i used to admire how eloquent and in-depth you were when answering asks, no matter how small or random the question was. you always made it feel like every question mattered, and that was something really special.

your blog was honestly a kind of safe space for me, and I’m so excited to see this little community come alive again. there’s just something about the way you write, both in your stories and in your interactions, that feels so genuine and warm. i can’t wait to see what’s in store and to get swept up in everything again—it’s like getting to revisit something comforting but also excitingly new.

thank you for all the work and love you pour into this space. It means more than you probably realize!

hi, anon! this is so sweet omg, this actually made my day. i'm excited you're excited! i spontaneously began rewriting at the end of october, sort of thinking it'd just be something for myself, until i realized there really wasn't much fun to be had in tackling a project with no publishing potential all by myself, so i just had to share it with everybody again 🩷 also, i was lowkey getting depressed doing nothing but work/studying without having people in my phone to talk to, so ... here we are! i'm so glad you're reaching out! it always really excites me when people introduce themselves as silent readers/supporters because they're absolutely integral to the fan space, but they're also some of the most exciting people to hear from. it means a lot to know i've created something worth reaching out over. i said this all the time when i used to post, but the best part of writing to me was putting out stuff that made people feel one way or another.

it also means a lot that you find me eloquent! i used to think i rambled too much, i still think i do, but i would sometimes get very caught up in my awe and appreciation of the fact that people cared about my universe and the characters so much. every question truly did matter to me, and still does!! a piece of me frequently regrets wiping the old stuff, but the other piece of me really likes having this new leaf now that we're starting over again. this blog was also definitely my safe space on the internet, and my best friend (whom i literally just texted with about this earlier today) can vouch for the fact that not really being active here or writing what i used to was difficult for me. it was a constant of my life for, what? like three and a half years, so going from having this blog to check up on every day for that long to nothing at all was saddening, and then just eventually boring once life got so work-life-balance. a part of me knows we may never see the sort of interaction and readership seen at the peak of MS/WT, but another part of me is just really excited to see what this new version conjures up. like, sure, it's the same story, but if you've already read it before, then reading the rewrite may give new perspectives, and if you're a new reader, then there's a whole new world there. i feel silly saying this when it really does start out like a lot of cliché rockstar fanfics so it might not seem like anything special, but 🤍 people were patient enough to hold on for the complexity. this sort of feels like memory lane but with the faint excitement that comes from the fact that there will be little changes here and there and i get to wait and see who picks up on them.

so thank you for this!! it really does mean a lot! everybody here is my friend regardless of if they read or interact with me, and i hope that everybody considers me the same. i know that when i got involved in fanspaces with things that i didn't write for, i would feel so intimidated by my fave authors (literally screamed the day my fave fanfic writer from my hp days (who is a published author now, hiiii olivie blake) sent me a happy birthday wish), because i thought they were so talented and cool and practically untouchable, so. i don't want anybody to feel that way about me. one, because i'm not that cool and the talent is average (worked on for like 5 years now), and two, because i don't bite! it's way more fun to have things done in a conversational, intimate way than it is to have things feel distant. so i'm VERY excited to be back, and i'm VERY excited to give people things to look forward to and a place to come around and hang out!!

[ghostwise]

Zevran is once again struck by the way people change when you leave them alone for a while.

Three times now, the Maker has seen fit to place them in each other's paths. This time, however, rather than feeling regret at all he has missed in his friend's life, he feels only awe at the ways she has grown and the ways she has stayed the same. Isabela listens with a patience he's seldom associated with her, and for that he is grateful.

Still, he's almost afraid to tell her all that has happened.

"It is a very long tale, my dear," he says when she asks. "And I'm afraid it does not portray me in a very positive light."

"Oh, please. Like you're the only one with a past," she teases. "Have you forgotten already how we met?"

"Never," he replies, and she's coaxed a smile out of him despite his worry. It's easy to remember why he loved her--loves her--and trusts her, too. So, having surpassed that slightest bit of resistance with her support, he lets it all pour out in a flood of words.

Everything from Rinnala's betrayal to his contract in Ferelden, to his time during the Blight and Taliesen's death. Everything from the fight against the Crows, to his year spent at Quinta de Talpa, and his travels throughout all of Antiva and beyond. He tells her everything, good and bad, without omission.

It must be some surprise to her; he’s become so honest and vulnerable. But it’s deliberate, and he barrels into it with a certain recklessness because it has been hard-won.

Most of all, he talks about the Warden, like a thread weaving through every single piece of his life. Making his story coherent. Stitching the broken bits whole.

"I must admit, I didn't think him your type then, and I certainly don't now," Isabela says when he's done.

They're lounging on the bed together, barely dressed. Her hair is fanned out across her pillow and she makes a face, features pulling into a delicate pout.

"Please tell me he's not as grim and somber as he seems. Frankly, I’m still surprised he was alright with you and I meeting. Unless..." She sits up, and peers at him, blouse falling over her shoulders. "Unless he doesn't know?"

"He knows," Zevran murmurs against her knee. “He knew who I was when he married me.”

“Good.” Content to hear it, Isabela leans back with a smile. "What a waste it’d be otherwise. I mean, for you as well. Don't change for anyone, Zevran. I mean it. There are far too many miserable marriages in the world. I should know."

For a moment both of them reflect on those words. But they speak to a life long past, and not worth revisiting. After a moment Zevran just sighs with the most lovestruck look she's ever seen him sport.

"Ah, I'd love for you to get to know him as I do..." He strokes her leg gently, hanging onto her, though it is clear his mind is drifting. "He would never ask me to change. He doesn't want to impede me in any way. He sees the depths of me, good and bad, and asks for nothing. I never imagined... Isabela, he makes it so easy, so simple and calm. So you see, because of that, I can give him everything. Because he-"

"Oh, enough!"

Yanking her legs back she tucks them beneath herself and tackles him with a hug, affectionate but very much exasperated.

"You talk about your husband too much, Zevran! No one will ever want to sleep with you!"

Zevran draws in a sharp breath, then he collapses into laughter.

As they laugh and cling to one another, he’s infinitely glad he saved her all those years ago. He’s glad she’s here now. He's glad for every note in his story, from the highest to the lowest.

"Seriously, Zev," Isabela says, as she extricates herself from his embrace and walks to her dresser--truly a vision, as beautiful as she'd been ten years ago. "I'm glad you've found someone to make you happy. You deserve no less. As for the rest, all that matters is that you've kept on living and doing your best. That's all any of us can do."

[irisbleufic]

Hello! Just wanted to thank you for writing such amazing bttf fic - I loved your "Anthology" verse and decided to try out some of your other stuff. Age gap is not my thing, usually (just not my jam), but I figured I'd give it a shot nonetheless (backspace button exists for a reason, right?) and... uhh I kinda read EVERY SINGLE ONE of your bttf fics in a span of three days. Whoops. I'm currently on my second reread, and... yeah. Thanks! They're awesome, I wish I could give you like a million kudos more :D Have an awesome day!

Whoa, it’s wild to me that you read my Pacific Rim “Anthology” universe and decided to hop from there to my Back to the Future fic! Although, now that I think about it, mad/weird science is not such a leap between those two fandoms. I mean, they really do have that in common. Time travel and fighting giant, alien sea monsters are about the same level of over-the-top!

Age gap isn’t usually my thing, either, so imagine my surprise when a friend reminded me, ca. 2014, that we had once found extremely well written Doc/Marty fic on LJ back in the day (shout-out to Kleenexwoman). And I was like, huh, you know, that’s one of the only places in fandom where a significant age gap never bothered me due to the solid friendship and trust? My friend was like, well, I’m getting back into those movies, could I request a fic from you? And I was like…huh. I still love those movies, and I think I could actually manage their voices…and you know what, I heard there’s a video game now where one of the possible age gaps has them at, well, no gap. So I initially looked at it as a massive experiment in how different it would (or would not) be writing stories about them at all the possible time travel points/age gaps. At the time, my own feeling of powerlessness in an abusive relationship (that had a mere one-year age gap) was the other reason I engaged in those writing projects. It felt safer for me to be writing about a couple with rock-solid trust across a handful of possible age gaps than thinking about my own situation. It was also a compelling experiment that kept me writing for a few years while all that bad shit went down. Like, haters and antis can come at me all they like about this; any given person’s reasons for writing, well, anything is often more complex than it looks from the outside.

This ask was at the bottom of my inbox, and I realize it’s likely been there for a month. I can be pretty failtastic when it comes to scrolling the whole way down, so forgive me on that score, anon! I’m so glad you loved the stories. I don’t easily see myself going back to that fandom, but I also wouldn’t 100% rule out a revisit if the right friend asked me again. It’s incredible the handful of things I’ve written over time that I might never have written otherwise because a dear friend asked me to fill a gap they couldn’t fill by looking elsewhere. I’m a stronger writer for all of those experiences.

[caffernnn]

Hi, thanks for making this post! It’s always fun getting to read your thoughts. I’m the anon that originally recommended 159 and sublimation and I agree with so many of the choices you made. There’s so many good fics written for this fandom, sometimes it’s easy to forget until you lay it out nicely like this. I’ve read every story on here except for like two so it was a walk down memory lane for me.

There’s so many good ones that I could go on forever, but I’ll just mention a few. I was surprised when you recommended “the ocean you gave my heart” because I haven’t seen anyone mention it, but I think about it often. “Heart’s Departure” is one of my favorites but yeah, it’s gut wrenching and idk if I could reread it. I love “Coral and Bone” is soo good and definitely a great read for the summer time. And “Night Changes,” I love when Makoharu talk to each other, they’re re so gentle with the other. I also want to mention “Under a Starless Sky,” by tonfea, because I am obsessed with that and think about it all the time.

Also we can’t talk about fics without a recommendation or two.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5796496

This is a cute and short story about Makoto and Haru getting together through the power of a anime watch night.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3197597?view_adult=true

This is about pro Haru returning from a tournament and spending quality time with Makoto, with a little bit of introspection. It’s a smut too.

Hiii!! YAY it’s fun to sit down and revisit different stories from over the years, seeing even in vastly different universes how the viewer’s perception of characters and their core motivations carefully evolved. I’m glad to hear you enjoyed a lot of the same stories — so many great ones out there but these journeys were some of the best imho 😌

YEAH YEAH YEAH big love for tonfea and their idol AU 💚💙 The drama! The stakes! Trying to build tenderness in their whirlwind life together because if they’re sure of anything anymore it’s their longing and devotion!!! It’s another one of those stories that aches to read with the all of the building tension but hooks you in for better or for worse anyway (which speaks to how well it’s written). Great rec, thanks for bringing it up 👏🏻

Your other two recs I hadn’t read before but WOW I’m glad you sent them!! I loved how “Inviolable” by noobishere weaved together tender moments I didn’t even know I wanted to see between Makoto and Haru until the scenes came up. It’s so fun to watch a non-linear storyline come together, seeing what beats and little details you focus on when jumping back and forth. Definitely one I’ll enjoy revisiting to watch those dorks have fun together. ALSO “warmth kept in the palm of my hand” by fio is spicy (good smut, for those looking for it) but I’m particularly intrigued by their end conversation. It’s wild to see older future fics talk about where everyone ends up and compare it to what direction canon went with. The way Makoto and Haru talk about the future here is short and sweet, but feels almost more fleshed out than what we saw in FS, if that makes sense?? Like, you could argue the difference between (spoilers ig) arriving at a decision pre-burnout versus crashing into that option during/post-burnout, but even then, you’d almost expect to see more conversations and unpacking happen with the latter. Anyway, I liked what they did with the idea of a reunion and some exploration into what a future would look like for mh if they continued to take those steps hand-in-hand.

As always, your taste is 🤌🏻 impeccable

[prettyboybuckley]

Hi!! I cannot get over the murder boyfriends fic, it’s so good I could easily read 20 more chapters of it. You made me fall in love with a bloody, crazy Buck so I love that for us, and I’m secretly hoping you revisit their story in the future (although I LOVE the open/ambiguous ending at the same time). But that being said, I’m so glad you have so many fics on ao3, I’m slowly making my way through all of them! In all your stories that I’ve read so far, I’m amazed in the way you describe detail that doesn’t feel unnecessarily long or flowery (some writer’s words can get away from them, that’s not the case with your work). You’re concise when you need to be but expansive when it makes sense, and the way you craft your narratives is just absolutely amazing. I wanted to drop a note because I really enjoy your writing, and I’m eagerly waiting to see new stories from you! Have a great day ☺️

anon, i know this is a bit of late reply and that's because i was trying to come up with some kind of eloquent response... at which i've failed 😅

all i can say is that it really really means a lot to hear this, and i can't thank you enough for this wonderful message ❤️

as for murder boyfriends... i'm not sure yet if there will be any more on this specific verse, it depends on if inspiration strikes. i am however definitely planning on writing more dark(ish) fic 🥰

[42bakery]

Anon with the hubby!

about my last ask I had actually talked to him and gave him the vaguest explanation about what had happened and he told me he could just watch it with my ex -who also like motogp and we dated for like one month to convince our parents to let us travel all the way to italy in 2004 alone- but I told depends on how I’m feeling that day we well see

I told him about how I’m giving snippets to people on tumblr and he asked me if I have said how this whole discussion/relationship started and I have realised that I didn’t tell you the gem that was the start of our relationship

So before everything I want to say I’m from Iceland and he is from Hungary and we live in Manchester, my start in watching sport was motogp and his for some weird reason was Indycar??? I’m still confused how he did that but we roll with it. Said ex loves to be around cars and bike and one day in 2006 he came to my house and was like there is this new thing I found about called indycar and it’s so different so we saw a couple of races and decided to fly there to watch one live and that was when I first saw my hubby!!! And Icelandic and a Hungarian meeting in a indycar paddock is weird 😭 we were in the same hotel and he overheard us talking about indycar and my hubby being the most extroverted person jumped on our conversation and things was getting heated because we made a bet that indycar is more known than motogp so we asked around-hindsight is 20 because we were in indycar paddock past me you should have used that damn brain of yours- obviously the answer was indycar and thus began our relationship of watching races together when I was in Iceland and him in Hungary then began the Emails until 2013 where he proposed to me in the same hotel were everything started!! And the bet has lasted until this year!! I told him about Marc jumping ship and he told me that we should revisit our bet again and when I told you me and my “ex” were over the moon is understatement because finally!!! We will be able to get him into motogp! So we had a bet and the rules were that it must be something obscure not something easy to achieve, mine was that Marc would win two times in a row and his was that Pecco would not finish in the points at all -this bet was made as soon as it was confirmed that Marc would go to Gresini so in hindsight that was a stupid bet- AND I WON and I remember as soon as he won in misano I called my “ex” wanting to scream but he was calling me so it gave me busy sign but yeah Marc made a new fan that day!!

and I have realised this ask is so long so I apologise im advance but I just need to say that we are already four races into the 2013 season and he loves Marc and Vale and I don’t know how to break it to him that it was Vale in that incident-I have kept everything vague and it helps that I had my ex to talk to and not tell him anything so now everything is a surprise for him-(he thinks the incident involves Marc and Dani)(Dani could never but he doesn’t know that)

Hi again anon 👋👋👋

Sorry it took me this long to answer your ask, but this week my life has been pretty hectic and crazy. Also your ask was very long and I wanted to take my sweet time answering this, the same time you spend so much time writing this for me, which by the way, I love it.

See, I knew your hubby would understand and not pressuring you. I didn't know the full story, but I know that if someone really loves you, they won't even pressure you into something that will distress you. I'm happy he had your ex for this.

I'm glad your hubby not only is okay with you sharing all his shenanigans, but is like 'did you goo deep on our lore? No such a shame, share it!'7

Okay, this confirms I'm just weird, the first sport I watched, it was basketball. First the Spanish nt and then all I could until I set into a team. And then moved to MotoGP and F1 and then added WSBK and FE.

For what I read, IndyCar is fun, so I don't blame him for starting with that. And you have to admit it if after just a few races you flew to USA to watch them live.

How dare you ask in USA what is the most famous motorsport? They are so egocentric that they will always say Indycar! Basically everything from Europe that comes to USA is a major flop unless you bring also something from USA too. Like one of the reasons COTA is so full (not really compared to other tracks) is because MotoAmerica is also there too as a support series, but for most people MotoGP is just the extra they get for MotoAmerica.

I'm not very romantic (sorry I'm aro) but your whole story is so damn cute. I also imagine that maintaining a long distance was difficult for both of you. I'm happy you managed it so you can just told us all the spinets of your life and all his reactions. I think he was looking at you disappointed today because the Sprint was boring as hell and Pecco just decided to flop on his own.

Okay how the hell did your hubby bet against Ducati's golden boy? That bike is a fucking rocket and Gigi loves his boy too much. It was obviously he would bee fighting for the championship because the other manufactures are sleeping. If I had to bet on something obscure it would have been a Honda or Yamaha podium because that is nearly impossible with the army of Ducatis and the rocket they have.

Marc and Vale strong is their charisma, and they are both good riders in their own rights. It's true that when Marc came into MotoGP Vale was past his prime just hopping to be able to have a resurgence, which happened in 2015, but yeah they are both easy to love. Specially for someone who is just starting and doesn't know about Sepang or the whole 2015 season. Let him suffer and pick a side. Don't spoilt it to him. Let him suffer. Also how dare him acuses poor Dani? He's one of the cleanest riders ever. I think it was Aragón 2015, which is one of my favourite races, where Vale said he loved his fight with Dani, despite losing. he knew it was a hard but fair fight and he couldn't be mad at Dani. It was Aragón 2015 or San Marino 2016, which I also love

Don't even apology to yapping and sending long ask, I love them. No seriously I love them. Anyway, thanks for this and sorry for the looooong answer

[jon-mcbrine-author]

Tangibility is a heck of a thing. Holding the proof copy of the paperback edition of Unsecret Identity: Eric Icarus - Book One stirred surreal reactions. Despite the ebook/Kindle edition having been released in the fall of last year, unboxing the printed copies of the book made it feel real. That being said, it’s not like the digital version didn’t find any readers - I’m appreciative of anyone and everyone who downloaded the novel or read pages via Kindle Unlimited. To tell the truth, I am a mix of being floored and thrilled by the fact that there are humans who gave my story a shot. Now that the book has finally entered the physical realm, this YA sci-fi superhero adventure has been given new life. But just because there will be a material item available for purchase, will anyone else pick it up?

At the time of this writing, the review process of the proof copy is only beginning, with the final edition intended to be released in August. The secret origins of this story, though, was initially conceived when I was a young child. Like many other writers, this passion project sparked within me and floated around in my brain for several years. From a childhood fantasy, through on-and-off-again revisits in my teenaged imagination, and into adulthood ambition, this book was going to be materialized one way or another. All those concepts and early incarnations of the characters swirled in my mental periphery for decades, but in 2018, the first set of preliminary notes started.

Outlines, ideas, sketches, and various details took up numerous pages in different document files until one day I made the decision to actually create content. Working on a fiction novel can easily consume every waking moment of your life, and as any author could tell you, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to commit to writing. It’s a lengthy process, and it can also be a lonely journey at times. Typing across different devices, copious copies saved, and round after round of editing resulted in going live with the online version of the manuscript. Seeing the fully realized cover art and text uploaded as an ebook was a rewarding experience. In a perfect world, a print and audiobook edition would’ve launched at the same time, but at that point, I was happy just to have released a product. Print plans didn’t stop, however, and it would be nearly a year before I would be prepared to order my first proof copy.

The sensations from flipping through the pages of my book were almost overwhelming. While awaiting the delivery of the “test” copies, I tempered my expectations, accepting that this print would undoubtedly be imperfect. Yes, the proof has errors, but all are easy fixes. Even so, I allowed myself to feel the swelling pride of a years of hard work paying off. I never expected to make a lot of money from self-publishing books, and like I stated previously, the proofreading process isn’t complete. Above it all, that tangible object has brought immense satisfaction. Part of me wanted to not make too big of a deal of the whole thing. It’s just one book, hopefully the first of many, and there is still a lot of work left to be done. It’s maybe even a little embarrassing to get too excited over my little novel. I’m glad to say that while I acknowledge that there are more challenges up ahead and I’m nowhere near finished, getting the first printed copy of my first book is too cool. Tangibility is indeed a heck of a thing.

Stay in the loop for more details by following Jonfiction Blog on Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and all my books.

Unsecret Identity: Eric Icarus - Book One is available now from the Amazon Kindle store.

https://a.co/2XAtxvH

New blog every Monday. Newsletter first Monday of the month, only on Substack.

[andvys]

I sent the earlier anon post about needing her to choose herself. Yes, I do see what you mean with Robin just trying to illustrate that Reader needs to fight for things she wants IN GENERAL and the breakup being one example of that.

I’m like the reader though, in that anything that scares me I run away from. In every capacity 🫠 I don’t like failing, so in my brain it’s better to always wonder what could have been than to try something and be bad at it. I’m trying to break out of that mindset, since it stops me from exploring new things. I get why Robin wants her to confront her fears more, but she could’ve been nicer about it 😭

NOWWW to answer your question… I was leaning towards Eddie until his jealousy outburst. Now it’s ✌🏽 to them both. I just don’t think she’s ready to date anyone right now. They’re in high school, she doesn’t have to commit. Maybe she revisits something with Steve or Eddie when they’re older, but for now i just want her to get her confidence back! If i had to choose, I’d totes say Eddie, but I do love the angst between her and Steve (second chance romance isn’t all bad).

Cardigan is also one of my favorite songs so this series is extra special!

(this is so lengthy i’m so sorry)

🫶🏽

Yes, exactly! Robin only used the breakup as an example. Robin likes Steve now, they’re best friends but she’d never defend any of his past actions!

I’m sorry you’re struggling that way too (i’m the same 🫠). I hope that you can learn how to confront your fears and fight for the things that you want and that you won’t let the fear of failure stop you from trying. You got this, I believe in you 🫶🏻

Oh, Eddie’s outburst was caused by many emotions, the worry, the fear, insecurities and the jealousy. He wil forever regret the way he treated her that day, he’d never do it again. Also, they’re out of high school now!

But I agree, she definitely needs to be by herself and just let herself feel and heal!

I’m glad you like this story so much! & cardigan is literally one of the best songs out there 🫶🏻

[egcdeath]

JOINING THE DISCOURSE ABOUT THE SOMEONE IN THE CROWD ENDING

I agree with what you said about it being for the best!! Joel has his own life with Sarah and the construction company in Austin and reader has her own family and career somewhere else. Even if they had slept together or tried to get back together, there are a million things that would get in the way such as custody battles, selling/buying homes, public discourse, and more. And she’s not unhappy with her husband and daughter! She has a beautiful life and is deserving of her dreams. Just because Joel couldn’t be a part of it doesn’t mean it’s not worthy.

I think when we look back at our pasts, we totally have the nostalgia goggles on and we think “well that wasn’t that bad. I could do that again.” But the truth is, no matter what, you can never go back to the exact person you were in that moment. What a beautiful, terrifying, bittersweet thing it is to grow older and become a new person.

HI JUNE WELCOME TO THE DISCOURSE!!! (also sorry for not rbing your rb yet i promise i saw it and it literally made me giggle and kick my feet i just need a second to come up with something to say back 🤭)

yes exactly!! obv the fic follows the readers perspective so we see what’s holding her back but also like… joel has his own stuff too. ESPECIALLY with him being divorced from sarah’s mom in this story and them sharing custody of her. even if they did love each other despite alllll of the odds (and there are many odds) i just don’t think it would be worth it.

the other thing i’m so glad you brought up is the public reaction!! for a second i actually considered ending the fic with a tabloid about her being spotted getting cozy with ‘some regular guy’ but i think there was already enough mess in this fic. but omg can you imagine if she actually left frankie for joel? i mean sarah’s mom would be interviewed left and right about how joel has always been a bit of a cheater so she’s not surprised he’s a homewrecker, frankie and her daughter would literally never hear the end of it, and i think the public really wouldn’t support the relationship. like at all. and like if they’re happy that’s what matters but still. just an absolute PR disaster! it would probably actually take a toll on her career as well.

oh my god the last thing you said. you always blow me away because i feel like you always know the right thing to say at the right time! i’m still thinking about that bluey quote you put in my dms. i think revisiting our past can be so interesting because no matter how hard it is to replicate it, it’s never exactly the same as it was before, and realizing that can be really disappointing at times.

i appreciate your contribution to the discourse!! 🫡🫡 team bittersweet ending is winning currently but i’m always down to hear more perspectives ;)