#but I've been thinking about my grandpa a lot lately

[robindrake93]

Before he died, my grandpa was telling people that I was a ghost writer.

He knew that I wrote constantly, watched me do it for decades, and he knew that I was somehow making money online with my writing.

What I was actually doing most of the time was writing fan fiction; something he did not know existed and since most of my fics are explicit, I didn't think he'd want to know. (although considering most of the books he read were steamy historical romances, he might not have cared too much)

I had also set up a patreon for original fiction, which I think I explained poorly when telling him about. "People pay me money to read what I write per chapter" was probably how I explained it. Which is accurate but that's not a model of reading that he's familiar with.

Given the circumstances and his limited knowledge, I'd say his guess was pretty good.

[lovelettered]

.

[the-acid-pear]

Blunt head trauma could fix me rn

[misc-obeyme]

Lesson 37 spoilers below - it's screenshot heavy again because OH BOY we had a lot going on this time too. I took almost 100 screenshots lol. But don't worry, I narrowed it down... uh but there are still a lot so I apologize for that.

I do believe I said in my last post that if they were going to go full Dante, they would bury Lucifer in ice.

I only said that because I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GO FULL DANTE.

Now listen, it's been a long time since I've read the Divine Comedy, so there may be a lot more references that I am missing. I can tell you that the four circles or sections or whatever that Simeon named for us are from Dante. That right there is straight from Dante's Inferno, along with their names and who they're supposed to punish. I don't really feel like any of this has much relevance except that they used it as a backdrop and to create reasons for us to lose most of the people who came to help us as we went.

And truly the lore was fascinating in general, but there are a couple of specific pieces about this that made me go EXCUSE YOU.

It's the Celestial Realm again, guys. Cocytus is part of their domain. And the last area is for those who betrayed "him" as they so eloquently put it lol. Both Mammon and Lucifer are considered traitors in this regard, but I kind of suspect that if the rest of the bros made it to that level, they would've had a similar experience.

Anyway, I was pissed. I was like Diavolo in the hard lesson.

Right, so let's talk Mephistopheles. I'm not familiar enough with the legend of Faust or its variations to know if the way they described his special power is based on that. However, I highly suspect it is at least somewhat inspired by it. Considering making a deal with the devil is what that story is all about.

But aside from all that - I LOVE HIM OH NO.

WHAT. This guy... all this time I thought he was really stuck up. And like I kinda get it, considering how he was supposed to be Diavolo's right hand man and everything. But he's straight up saying that he underestimated them. He seems to have no problem saying yeah, turns out I was wrong and you guys impressed me. So don't go around giving up now. AND he says they learned it from Lucifer? Like... he gets them. He understands them. And I was not expecting that at all. He keeps surprising me and I'm loving it.

Welcome to my life, Mephi.

It's pointless to resist.

I'm telling you, this is just how it always goes.

BUT OH! I'm not gonna lie, this made me feel something. All the brothers usually say such nice things to me, but this guy is basically like ARE YOU STUPID? And I love it?!?!? Augh I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance before, sir.

Okay, now let's talk Solomon being the hot old grandpa that he is. I SWEAR every time he shows up lately it's been making me more insane about him.

WE SUMMONED HIM. We needed him in Cocytus and he wasn't there, so we straight up SUMMONED HIM. We couldn't do it without Mammon giving us his power 'cause our magic is weak, but STILL!?!?

I think Simeon referred to it as teleporting, but really it was the same as summoning him. I think the words were even the summoning spell words.

If this was actually me we were talking about, I would start doing it ALL THE TIME. Consider yourself on call, old man.

And then we got this excellent exchange:

Not only am I always here for big bro Mammon getting protective, but Solomon bringing it right back was also great.

Okay, now let's talk about Raphael and Simeon.

Do you think we're dealing with Michael disguised as Raphael again? For some reason I don't think so, but... at this point, it's like how do you tell? I'm going to talk about it with the assumption that it's actually Raphael and not Michael.

Simeon during this part gave me chills. Because when Raphael showed up and spoke the punishment or whatever and Luke was about to protest, Simeon silenced him. Simeon wouldn't let Luke protest because he knew that wouldn't be good for our baby boy. Simeon was prepared to take the fall instead. And he wasn't about to just let things stand.

I can't accept it. I swear, Simeon's character is far more complex than anyone gives him credit for. He doesn't get anywhere near the amount of appreciation he deserves. I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

Right, but back to Raphael.

Baby. He's crying. He was just delivering the ultimatum, the decision about the brothers' punishment, and he was crying. I was so surprised, it was so soft and sad and I wanted to hug him. And look at Simeon's frown. AND THEN

EVEN LUCIFER. This man is chained up in some ice and he still sees how Raphael is struggling and feels sorry for him. (Like maybe he's been there before himself...)

This is why I think it really is Raphael. Because this feels like such a significant revelation of his character, I think it'd be a disservice to him if we found out later it wasn't him at all. So I'm hoping it's still him.

Now. Let's talk about Diavolo. I'm pretty sure this was in the hard lesson, so be aware of that!

He is so pissed. I don't think I've ever seen Diavolo quite like this. Worried, sometimes serious, but angry? Like to the point where he thinks he might lose control? I don't think that's happened, has it?

AND BARB. His reaction is so interesting! At first he has this look of surprise, but then LOOK AT THAT SMILE. Here's Dia being like, I need you to stop me, but you can't tell me that smile on Barb's face belongs to anyone who's going to stop anyone. He looks like he's looking forward to it. I love him so much it's stupid. (Also I think Barbatos is just as much of a menace as Solomon is, he's just better at hiding it. Where do you think Sol gets it from??)

And of course the lesson ended with Lucifer BREAKING THROUGH HIS CHAINS. Ugh another cliffhanger.

In general, I really loved the brotherly affection that was running amok in this chapter. They were annoying each other and protecting each other and sacrificing for each other and it was all amazing. They banded together because they care so much about Lucifer, there's no way they would leave him to his fate.

And once again, the Celestial Realm is to blame. I think it makes sense that they're doing this. Before, they said that the seven brothers assuming positions of power in the Devildom meant that the power balance between the Devildom and the Celestial Realm was out of whack. That's why they wanted the brothers back. But the brothers wouldn't come back.

And while the Celestial Realm threatened war, they didn't do that, either.

Do you think perhaps the Celestial Realm collaborated with the House of Lords to get Lucifer trapped in Cocytus? The House of Lords controlled the train where everything went down. The Celestial Realm controls Cocytus. They probably knew that Lucifer's brothers would try to rescue him and counted on them getting trapped in the ice, too.

But perhaps they weren't expecting any interference from Mephisto or Simeon. They had to be expecting MC, I would think. Maybe they underestimated MC because they're human? And maybe they thought Diavolo would just accept it? (If so they are duuuuumb lol.)

Okay just a couple more screenshots because they made me laugh.

PLEASE. I love their dynamic SO MUCH.

Hmm. Is that a threat, Barb? 'Cause uh... you can casually threaten me with that slight smile any time I MEAN yeah, you tell 'em.

I cackled about what do you mean "ahaha" like I can't believe Levi actually said that out loud lol.

Cheer up, Belphie. Let Asmo live the otome dream, won't you?

Okay, okay, I'm done. Overall, I quite enjoyed this chapter, but I'm still sensing more drama, probably until the end of the season, honestly.

You think Nightbringer will make an appearance before it's over? It's almost like I forgot this whole new app was made to tell a story about him. He's just been mostly MIA. UNLESS someone else has been him in disguise all along...

Nope. No. I refuse to get into theorizing, this post is already too long.

[inbabylontheywept]

So. So. I have a horrific backlog in my inbox, and past attempts at answering it have generated more asks. Generally at a higher rate than I could answer the asks. Exceeding escape velocity. And I've been mulling over how to solve this, and my idea was to create a super-bus answer post. It'll be a little lengthy, so, you know. Click read more at your own risk. Roll them dice.

Well, you clicked it. God speed and god bless.

--- @meowserita says

I feel obligated to tell you i stayed up till four am reading a bunch of you stories, because they're incredible. Also feel like saying that the only other times ive stayed up this late in recent memory is when i was binge reading one piece so take that as you will. We'll see how much i regret this but odds are i wont like i didnt regret staying up reading one piece

Hahaha! Ha! Oof. I am extremely flattered and awed and impressed but also, my stories are going to be there tomorrow, and the next day, and maybe forever depending on how this whole "civilization" thing pans out. So. Sleep more. But also thank you for being a mega fan.

I had like, a week long binge of Naruto in middleschool that was awful. I didn't even like the show that much. People recommend anime to me now, and I feel like a former alcoholic turning down drinks at a party. No thank you, there's a 99% that will simply help be relax after work one day and a 1% chance that will ruin my life and I'll catch myself unironically saying "believe it!" years later, and I just can't take that chance. I have too many people depending on me.

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Anonymous says

i see you are also from Utah. do you have a favorite swig menu item

No. I've never actually been into a Swig. There were a few soda shops back in AZ, but I never really got them either - I'm still not sure how a gummy shark in a blue soda is supposed to make it taste better.

My poison is generally gas station stuff. Slurpees are amazing, and I also like their little pickled sausage snack things. Probably literal poison, but they call to me.

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Anonymous says

four more messages in my head. four more tests of sanity.

hm. troubling. hope you pass.

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Anonymous says

yooo “fireflies infinity mirror room” mention!!! i lived in Tempe for a few years…one time i was making my way down the escalator from the PHX skytrain and there was a group of like 20-30 Mormons (?) at the base of the escalator waiting there to welcome out-of-state Mormons to some sort of Mormon convention in…well, Mesa, presumably? google is now telling me it may have been for the Easter pageant.

That does sound likely. My grandpa was actually in charge of the easter pageant for a few years down there - I actually broke my arm on the little pony Mary rides to Bethlehem. I was trying to keep my little brother and sister on it by using my arms as a seatbelt, but when they fell off anyway, I just had to kids land on my arm from 6 foot drop and got blessed me with a third elbow. I had some crazy ideas on how to become a professional baseball player with it, but my dad insisted we go to the hospital to do drugs, and when I woke up they fixed the damn thing. Could've gone pro.

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@synapticwanderer says

hello! just wanted to say I'm a big fan, your stories make me laugh and sometimes cry and sometimes both, sometimes at once. when my partner asks me what I'm laughing so hard at I read them to them, and sometimes I just go read them to them anyway. thank you for sharing your delightful way with words with us, and I hope you don't mind that I've got notifications on for your posts (you and I think three other writers at the moment) anyway, have a great day!

I don't mind! I hope I haven't ruined that privilege, actually, I shitpost more than most people think. I like mixing happy and sad as well as silly and earnest. But. Yes. A lot of shitposts.

Anyway, thank you for the comment! Happy trails.

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@funnynamedottxt says

I kept hearing about your wrestling post, and then I saw the word “bisexual” when you were talking about it, so, needless to say, I sought it out immediately.

And, while this isn’t technically part of the actual post, in that reblog where you were talking to that one dude about sexism and societal issues and shit, you made some pussy joke about Lake Michigan and that may just be the best thing I’ve read all week.

Sorry about the run on sentence btw, I know it probably deeply hurts the writer in you, but I find it funny and am too lazy to self-censor sooooo

I'm glad you had a good time reading it. I don't know which gender I'd imagine the great lakes as to be honest. I just know that their thing with Michigan is beautiful and would be very distracting should I ever become an astronaut. I don't want to make fun of people for wanting a better world, and I would actually say I did a botch job on my response. Didn't realize it until several hundred people got mad at me. I know I write well, and the catch .22 of that is that people assume that my ability to read the room is probably higher than it is.

Anyway. I don't fault them for getting mad. Not my finest hour.

And I'm not a snob about run on sentences by the way. English teachers want to make rules about how you write and rules to follow, but that's because they need to grade by rubrics for it to be fair. It turns an art form into something mechanical though. Just make it natural and the rest comes after.

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@00x7 says

Hi. I hope you're doing well.

I had read your wrestling story. I had not laughed so hard in a great many years. I thank you for this, though I am also sympathetic to your misfortunes.

There was enough going on that I was naturally curious if you were or are Mormon, a curiosity born from being someone who grew up as such myself (something that being queer doesn't really bump up nicely against, though you hardly would need to hear such a thing from me), and which visiting your blog quickly answered for me.

Of course, scrolling down for two seconds immediately had me realize that you were also the kid with the grandpa and the worms. I had read the worm story before, but visiting somewhere and realizing it was you was a nearly transcendent experience. My third eye was rather forcibly opened. What a storied life you have had.

Anyway, as an amateur writer, I'm very happy to have found your blog. We don't know eachother, but your words resonate with me.

Whenever you read this, I hope you have a good one. Thank you.

Oh! That's my favorite thing - when people like two different stories with very different tones. It's kind of a would you love me if I wasn't beautiful sort of question - would you like my writing if it wasn't purely silly? And it makes me happy when the answer is yes.

I actually wandered through your blog to try and find your writing, but I didn't have much luck. I'd love to see some, if you're willing. Send me a link if you keep it on another platform. I couldn't do a critique if I wanted to - all my writing knowledge is just gut level stuff that I don't know how to share - but it's just a fun way to know people. And sometimes, I see a style and I go ah, I can pick a few shiny bits off this and wear them around.

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@turtletotem says Your bio says to tell you if we write, so, new follower here, and i write! Lots of fanfic (links in bio) and also original fiction under Shelly Greene and Elizabeth Belyeu (both on Amazon). Feel free to check it out, but I won’t take it personal if you don’t, lol.

I checked your pages on AO3 for this, and alas - No snippets for me first. You write books and novels, which is something I've always aspired towards, and never really suceeded at. I had this view when I started writing short stories that I'd eventually writer longer stories and serials and in fact I just got better at writing short stories. Which isn't much of a tragedy, actually, but it's a road I haven't really moved forward on yet. Writer to writer.

As a reader, I already have several books I've promised to read people. If you have any shorter works (less than 5k words?) lob them my way though! c

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Anonymous says

Just read your post about Atlas Shrugged (my condolences, comrade) and I must, simply MUST ask if you've ever heard of The Cobra Commander Dialogues? It asks the very important question "what if Cobra Commander was there and found this all at best inane and stupid, and at worst it offended his villainous sensibilities?" As someone who hasn't read the book OR watched the cartoon I found it very entertaining!

I just took a peeksies at those - they're beautiful. Dialogue is a great weakness of mine, and it is hard not to be a little envious of this writer. Thanks for sharing this with me.

For the curious

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Anonymous says

Your story about the breakup and the olives and the Slim Jim's and your dad made me cry -- not like, tear up, but an actual good cry for a couple minutes. I don't totally know why I reacted like that but I definitely felt better in some way afterwards. So, thanks. I think I'm gonna remember that story for the rest of my life.

The story stuck with me both because everyone involved was good. My ex's dad, the neighbor, my dad - everyone was doing their best. And it was true, wasn't it? Brains are good at remembering bad things. It's a breakup. And it hurt like hell. But the pain of that memory carries with it this feeling well, even when things suck, people don't. I also liked this view of my dad parenting so consciously. It wasn't a background thing to him. He thought a lot about what he was doing, and what he was saying, and how he was treating me. I owe him big for that.

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Anonymous says

What did you do with the left shoes after your date?

So, I think teenagers like being able to convey fuck you, I do what I want through their clothes. There are punk scenes for that, and goth, and other things. My way of doing that was just dressing aggressively badly. Mismatched plaids and sports jackets meant for people half my height and twice my width, purchased from goodwill, and basketball shorts mixed with knee high socks and on and on. That was part of my teenage rebellion.

Anyway, I added the shoes in and just wore mismatching shoes to make the outfit worse, both because it was a fashion crime, and because it was a litltle inside joke with my friends who knew the story. I wound up losing them over the years because I would use the left sets as makeshift projectiles.

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@galapagos-spinch says

I just wanted to compliment you on your story about wrestling a girl in middle school, you're a fantastic writer

Thanks. I have some regrets about that story, but it was fun to write, and it from a craft standpoint, i am proud of it. I appreciate the comment. :)

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Anonymous says

equality is when young boys aren't allowed physical boundaries i guess

Eesh. We're getting to wrestling asks. Look, when we all signed up for wrestling, we signed up to wrestle girls. It's part of the sport. If your boundary is to not wrestle girls, the way you maintain it is by not signing up for wrestling. The point of my response, which I did not convey clearly enough, was to ask for forgiveness for failure. A middle school boy falling short of the right thing is different from a middle school boy seeking to do the wrong thing, and as a bar, it's...

It's the kind of thing I'd hope people would go, Well, they're shits, but I can't hate them over it. Don't defend us as having done the right thing - we did not. Just, have some grace for the weakness of teens. They're still growing, and if you put too much pressure on them, they'll crumble. And we crumbled.

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Anonymous says

Hey there! Sorry, not actually a question, just wanted to say I've seen posts of yours reblogged before on occasion and I finally started following you because you're a gifted storyteller and your stories are hilarious, poignant, or both!

Oh! A relief. This is so nice. Thank you. Hopefully you read this. Maybe I should turn anonymous asks off or something going forward if I set myself on doing more of these super-bus replies.

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Anonymous says

i am crying with laughter at your stories. the way you tell them is perfect, please never stop

I'll try. I had a several month period of no writing after burning out on HFY. Wasn't sure how to make a genre change. I'll probably have more periods of quiet like that, but to be honest, my writing is probably my favorite thing that I do. I like engineering, and I'm pretty good at it, but I love this, and I am very good at it, and in periods where I don't write it feels almost painful.

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@auronlu says

just sending you some gentle love from an older queer person.

My parents moved to Utah after I went to grad school. I am eternally grateful that my dad turned down that promotion the first time, when I was about to enter high school, because I didn't want to lose my friends and move to Utah and go to school there in the 80s.

So I escaped, but I've seen a little bit of what you had to go through and I've heard from some of my mom's friends that she's made there how hard it is when you don't conform. I'm glad you were able to escape and that you have your own life now.

I bet that girl remembers you and that when these topics come up, she's not as willing to throw people like us under the bus without question.

you did the best you could in a very difficult situation, and by being you, you helped some of the next generation realize the lines they're told about queer people may not be true.

There may have been a closeted or questioning kid in that class, reassured by your example or simple refusal to show prejudice. you don't know what positive impact you had on those kids, but you went in with the best intentions you could and I have a feeling you did more good than you know.

take care and have a good life

( note: my main blog is actuslly @sepdet )

This is actually one of the earliest asks that I didn't want to answer because I didn't want to lose it. For anyone else looking, they're talking about a story I told about teaching primary as a Mormon.

I hope she does. I don't think anyone in the ward ever actually knew I was bi - I kept that very close to my chest. Even after I left. The kids certainly didn't. But they knew that I loved them very much, and they apparently felt strongly that I was a good person. I think the lesson I gave them was that a person can leave the church and still be good. I hope that serves them well.

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@karmaajr says

UR A FUNNY GUY 🫵

aw yissssss

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@abisexualfrog says

Hello, I just wanted to say that I really like your stories and the way you write, your style

Sometimes I’m in a bad mood and then I go read a few of your stories -I especially like the ones at your work- and it cheers me up because of how funny it is. (The fridge story? So good)(oh and the water balloon and and and… endless)

Im not super good at compliment because well English isn’t my first language and all that but I figured I could still tell you, can’t hurt.

So yeah I really really enjoy your writing!! It’s so good!

And not just the stories of things that happened to you, the other ones too, they are also very good

This is another one of the ones I kept because I didn't want to lose it.

Thank you for reading my stories. Your english is fantastic. And it is rare to get comments on my old fictional sci-fi pieces - those were kind of my baby's-first-steps. If you read those you are in deep, and I am incredibly touched.

I'd hug you if I could.

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@rockinhand says

the red bun on those burgers was actually dyed via Beets. i tried it when it was around and it was unremarkable

I know what this is referring to. Surprisingly. But I will leave it be and just enjoy have this remain esoteric bordering on arcane.

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@newkittypoom says

i saw your reblog on that falin fanart and i was like "wait. this is the 28 eggs snake guy?" and i came from the post about your wrasslin days and i saw you answer an ask about being ex-mormon and well. im definitely following the blog for your writing. thanks for sharing these stories!

thanks for commenting! It's flattering to get recognized online. Means my writing voice is distinct. Got a little niche and I'm thrivin' in it.

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Anonymous says

I'm sure someone must have pointed this out by now, but you weren't dating just because she thought you were dating. If that wasn't the kind of relationship you thought you were in, you weren't dating. She was just being presumptuous. You didn't "accidentally date" someone. You can't. Dating is a mutual, consensual thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Phrasing and all.

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@nbspacegay says

(1)

Hi I read your dating stories they are hilarious. I am spiritually holding hands with you because I too am terrible at dating. I accidentally pterodactyl screamed at my boyfriend when he told me he loved me once. I did also love him. I just panicked, screamed and then quite literally sprinted away. I also did not have the excuse of being in high school because I was in university.

(2)

if you so choose you can publish that last ask, i sent it becuase i thought you and your followers might find it funny

(3)

also sorry for sending you three messages like a lunatic, but also feel free to ignore it

I haven't been ignoring this, it just got buried and then I panicked and it has been crushing me like an ancient marsh, squeezing out all my peaty-bits until all that was left was an ultra-flamable bed of hydrocarbons.

Pterodactyl screaming at your boyfriend is a power move. You should do it more often. I am going to answer more questions that way. I had a customer with a masters in geology ask me why I could not provide their specified sample rate, sample times, and sample counts, and I had to explain to them that you can actually only pick two of those numbers, and the third just happens, and that the numbers they gave me did not work that way. It's like saying "I need to drive 50 miles, and I want to drive at 15 mph for two hours." I'm like, yo, go faster, or drive longer, but you have given me a multiplication problem that does not work. And they kept arguing with me, despite the actuall oscilloscope screen telling them, hey, bozo, that math does not math, and I kept trying to reason with them, when in fact I should have just pterodactyl screamed.

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Anonymous says

When I saw your blog title my first thought was that it's a reference to psalm 137 (it's on my mind since it was just tisha b'av) and was wondering why a nonjew would do that, but then I realized you're a fan of Babylon so it's probably a reference to that. And then I googled it and apparently its also a song. So which one/which combination are you referencing?

Also your blind date story was a fascinating read, it made me laugh. Very impressed by your chutzpah

Oh nvm, saw that you answered the above in another ask, feel free to ignore

No, I totally get it. Mormonism robbed and scrambled the iconography of a lot of religions, but the two it yoinked the most from are the Masons and the Jews. Like, it is my culture now, but I will acknowledge that my culture is what would happen if you asked a 14 year old conman from NY to skin your culture and wear it. I can't imagine how weird it must be to hear us talk.

Glad to have you approval on the blind date story though. That was a nightmare.

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@conkreetmonkey says

Personally I think you should do the egg thing again just for the hell of it. I honestly would because you made it sound fun, but eggs be expensive around these parts

My budget is a liiiiittle bit tight for the next month because my wife is doing occupational therapy, but there's a grocery store nearby that sells quail eggs, and to celebrate her finishing that, I am going to be a dozen and shotgun those bad boys. Hell yeah.

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Anonymous says

bulking must be so easy if you can effortlessly consume 15 raw eggs

No, for two reasons.

The first is that it was not effortless. It was effortful. I had to sweat to get them down. I had to fight them into me. I have a very vivid memory of finishing the eggs, and then leaning over to tie my shoe, and feel the eggs start to actually tip out of me, not even as like, puking, but like emptying water out of a boot. I actually had to sit for a half hour after that for the eggs to actually stay.

The second reason is that eating is easy for me, but gaining muscle mass is not. If I work out like crazy and lift weights, I get very wirey, but I never actually get big. I tried bulking one time, and my muscles stayed the same size while the 20 pounds I gained just went right to my belly and I looked like a grape on a toothpick. Very wild experience. Made my peace with being a skinny nerd.

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Anonymous says

just letting you know that you can sterilise raw eggs by keeping them at 130°F for a few hours, you can do this with a sous vide and eat them with no salmonella concerns

I love tumblr so much but all the people that read a story about some idiot eating 15 raw eggs on an impulse and then went ah, yes, this man clearly owns a sous vide machine and is willing to use it are crazier than I am. Get some realistic expecations of the world. Know your audience. You are setting your bar too high, and will find yourself endlessly disappointed. Stop it. This is why left leaning people are so fucking sad. They read the egg story and think they can solve my life with a sous vide, instead of reading the egg story and realizing that there is nothing in this world that could possibly save my from myself. I am not a stupid person. I am a highly motivated clever person who enjoys doing stupid things. There's no stopping that.

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@brambledboneyards says

Hey OP I just wanted to let you know I was informed when I was younger that farm fresh eggs will not give you salmonella. I would recommend fact checking this, but if it does remain true I hope you can date the cravings once more

This is actually good advice. I know several people who own chickens down here. Bless you.

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@queerdo-mcjewface

Some stores sell pasteurized eggs for recipes that require raw or undercooked eggs

Alas, they only sell egg whites down here, which are flavorless. I want the whole egg experience. The slime, the yolk, the cracking open - I appreciate the advice, but no, it's just not visceral enough.

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@decentmonster says

you'd probably love quail shooters tbh, you can get them at most sushi restaurants and theyre served raw and are really good (also safe to eat)

Also farm-fresh eggs are less likely to have salmonella!!

Two months time, I will eat a dozen raw quail eggs.

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Anonymous says

I want you to know the egg story is literally one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. I laughed so hard I woke up my husband

I think that was the first little life-short-story thing I posted. Maybe? I'm glad you had fun reading it.

[gunthermunch]

[Transcript under the cut]

Bluma: rows and flows of angled- angel hair Bluma: and ice cream castles in the air and fa-feather UGH canyons everywhere Mila: can i join you? Bluma: …singing? Mila: sitting. Bluma: oh. that's better, i'm not a good singer Mila: me neither, but i do love that song. Bluma: mmmnhgh Mila: what's wrong, pumpkin? Bluma: i lied to you, the guys from school are right. i do avoid my classmates as of lately Mila: oh, Bluma- why are you keeping all this to yourself? Bluma shrugs Bluma: they don't even like me anyways. it's not like my parents can do anything about it Mila: hmm… Bluma: i'm not letting my mom kill a child! Mila: who said anything about killing someone? Bluma: i know your ploty face! Bluma: sighs Bluma: …one day this girl Orla asked me why i didn't like getting my pictures taken and i told her it's because it makes me sad i get to show up on them and my mom doesn't and she just backed off. and then some kids laughed. i thought Orla was nice Bluma: i just wish i got to feel normal outside of my house one day Mila: you'll find your people, munchkin. you're just so little still Mila: and you know who used to struggle in a similar way? Bluma: who? Mila: grandpa. Bluma: … i guess we both have a coconut allergy Mila: oh not Marcus darling i meant- Mila: I guess your dad didn't tell you about Ernest yet. Bluma: who's Ernest? Mila: your father and uncles' dad, and my very first big big love, and husband. Bluma: …wait Bluma: Marcus is not my real grandpa?! Mila: darling you have two real grandpas. Bluma: okay this can be great. where is he? Mila: oh uh- he- is… gone, honey. Bluma: hm. my luck today is really bad. Bluma: how did he fix himself anyways? Mila: well, he didn't. we just found each other and made a family Mila: and then you eventually came along. So… let's say i love a nice weirdo Bluma: i appreciate your honesty, Mila Munch. Mila: thank you. Bluma sighs in relief Bluma: i like this room Mila: i still think it stinks, but if you like it we can make it yours next summer Bluma: really? Mila: of course. Bluma: can we hang stars from the ceiling Mila: yes. Bluma: and can i triple braid your hair while we watch TV? Mila: oh yes. Bluma: i love you grandma Mila: i love you too, my baby.

WG: yeah there's no way im sending this. sorry Marcus: it's chill. do you feel better tho? WG: kinda. who knew Gunther was right about that writing your feelings over thing Marcus: speaking of that, what are you even doing over there? WG: uhh uncleing? and i guess i've been playing a lot of guitar. and singing WG: i stopped sucking a little Marcus: man you should totally try and make something out of that. get out! travel! make yourself a city guy! WG: aha… who knows really. WG: hey uh thank you. i didn't mean to dump all that onto you. Lucas did say something about you being great at this but holy shit Marcus: eh, i'm just a mama's boy that watched too many telenovelas with her. Mila: and it shows. Marcus: heeyy Mils!

WG: HEY Blooms! let's get you home already

Bluma: coming!!

[enhashoutout]

Dating Hanaoka Fujio

This is purely self-indulgent because finals are stressing me out and I needed something fluffy to keep me from taking a nap on the highway

Bf!Fujio who is the golden retriever in the relationship.

Bf!Fujio who doesn't care much about his studies but knows that you do so he offers to keep you company while you study (he's probably distracting you though low key).

Bf!Fujio who notices final exams are absolutely killing you so he takes it upon himself to force you to take breaks, otherwise, you sit in front of your work and forget you're a human who needs water, food, and sleep.

Bf!Fujio who is almost never late because leaves his meetings a few minutes early (if they aren't super important) to come and see you.

"Oi! Fujio! Where are you going?! We're not done yet!" (Probably Yasushi) "Sorry! I have to leave early to be on time to pick up ___ from school and take them home!" All of his friends: 👁️👄👁️ Fujio: *proceeds to pedal his bike so fast he almost smacks into your school's gate but at least he's there and ready to take you home*

Bf!Fujio who thinks of you when he doesn't have a fight to worry about

Bf!Fujio who never shuts up about you + playfully annoyed bestie Tsukasa who knows everything about you because Fujio never shuts up about you but at least his best friend is happy

Bf!Fujio who tells you all about Oya's factions, dynamics, and fights even if you don't quite understand.

Bf!Fujio who tells you about his negative feelings. Example: when he doesn't feel good enough to be Oya's leader, when he's sad remembering his grandpa and Grandma Sada, etc. (This boy deserves all the love in the world make sure he knows that)

Bf!Fujio who hugs you a little longer and a little tighter on the days he isn't feeling all that well

Bf!Fujio who thinks it is the funniest thing to kiss you, catching you off guard, and then running away leaving you confused.

bf!Fujio who loves how you also bond with his friends and help them when you can

Bf!Fujio who gives you a heart attack when he shows up at your doorstep late at night all bruised and needs his injuries tended to before he goes home so he doesn't also give his mom a heart attack.

Bonus points if you're a SWORD leader's younger sibling with that last point. Like imagine being Cobra's younger sibling who is dating Fujio but the kicker is that Cobra doesn't actually know you're dating because you tell him you go to Oya to see your friends, not your boyfriend and his friends who are now your friends.

Fujio shows up late at night after a fight needing his injuries bandaged, and you guys whisper as he tells you what happened and how he won. You guys are whispering thinking that if you're quiet no one will wake up, but you don't realize your older brothers actually went out for a late-night drive because none of them were able to sleep. So as you guys are like giggling and whispering, Cobra, Yamato, and Noberu walk in through the front door and you all just freeze and stare at each other because none of you know what to say. And of course, Fujio being Fujio will probably get excited and ask Cobra if he wants to be friends.

You: shit... how do I explain to my brothers why they just walked in through the door and there is a boy here uninvited? How do I explain that I'm actually dating this boy and I've been lying about why I go hang out at Oya all the time?! Cobra: Eye twitching. Why is there a boy in the house with my younger sibling? Who is this boy? Why is he busted? ___ you have a lot of explaining to do or I'm grounding your ass. Yamato: Ready to follow Cobra whatever he does because you aren't just Cobra's younger sibling you are THEIR younger sibling. If Cobra decides to ground you? Yamato is going to agree and give reasons why you should be grounded even longer. If Cobra lunges at the boy who's sitting in front of you? Shit so is Yamato because who is this bruised up kid giggling with his younger sibling at midnight? Noberu: The only sensible one who will listen to your explanation before taking any action. Will probably have to hold back the other two from attacking your boyfriend or rush their asses to the emergency room because they both fainted after finding out this kid sitting in the kitchen with you is your boyfriend. Fujio: "OH! HELLO! My name's Hanaoka Fujio, I'm ___'s boyfriend. They talk about you all the time and Murayama talked about you all the time too. I think you're so cool! Do you want to be friends?!" Cue Cobra fainting because wdym his younger sibling has a boyfriend?! AREN'T YOU LIKE 3 YEARS OLD?!

Probably gonna expand on boyfriend Fujio and Boyfriend Fujio + Cobra's younger sibling reader when I'm not drowning in final assignments.

Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

Please don't repost or take my work. Writers work hard on their posts no matter how big or small don't be a shitty human and steal their work thanks.

[hermitw]

Tumblr pls stop suggesting posts wishing that Sukuna will suffer as much as Yuuji when Sukuna has suffered more than anyone in jujutsu kaisen, I beg (being an unwanted child, a slave, an object, etc).

Maybe I'll go through and make a master post to link the history bc a lot of it is easy to miss (I suck at finding posts on my own blog), you have to be familiar with trauma and history and translations but everything harmful sukuna has done was against his own will or a trauma response. Sukuna is just trying to grasp for his own autonomy. he's constantly being restrained, neglected, and challenged. He doesn't even want to reverse the roles. He exists for leisure like Nanami, he just wants peace. To be left alone. And it's too much to ask for.

And if Yuuji had actually listened to Sukuna (he listens to everyone and matches their energy but not the spirit who is trapped in his body, so it's weirdly out of character) then Yuuji's suffering could have been almost entirely avoided. They could have had a symbiotic relationship.

Kenjaku thanked Yuuji's friend from the occult club for being good to his son - and Yuuji's grandpa saying "you had it too easy". The thing is that for Yuuji to be a functional cage for Sukuna, they couldn't be able to relate to each other. Yuuji spent his life with superhuman strengths, but he blended in. He was never demonized nor deified for his differences. Yuuji was a loner by choice, and he had the freedom to choose his own path. To uninvite himself from school clubs, the strength to beat up bullies that didn't even involve him.

Even the choice to consume Sukuna's finger had to come from Yuuji's own free will - and despite the manipulation that Kenjaku put into this (having Mimiko and Nanako plant it at the school, etc), it was a choice that Yuuji made on his own. He wasn't really coerced into it - Fushiguro told him not to do it. Yuuji consented to sharing his body, whereas Sukuna did not.

it seems like irl Sukuna has a shrine and is remembered as a hero, but regarded more as a criminal by the government. Sounds a lot like Gojo. And if the higher ups were still around a thousand years later, how do you think he would be remembered? Or spoken of in history lessons to sorcerers?

I've already rambled or reblogged everything that I have to say but ughhhhh

Yuuji is the last person who could teach Sukuna about love. He might be capable of a listen-no-jutsu, though it's kind of late for that.

[writingwhimsey]

Congratulations for 400 followers ✌🏻💗✨

Can I request a fanfic about ikesen Hideoyoshi and Yukimura where MC tells them about being pregnant and their reaction for the same.

Thank you! And thank you for the request. Sorry it has taken me a while to get to it. I've had a LOT going on IRL. But this one was cute and fun to write. So I hope you enjoy it!

400 Follower Celebration

Fluff Headcanon: Suitor reacts to MC/reader telling them she's pregnant

Suitors: ikesen Hideyoshi & Yukimura

Warnings: You might get a cavity, but that's about it.

Hideyoshi

He had been worried about you. You’d been feeling ill lately and now all day you had been acting odd. He could tell there was something you had on your mind, but he couldn’t tell what. He was surprised when he returned to your shared room to see you having a nice dinner waiting and a big smile on your face.

“What’s all this?” He asked, coming to sit down beside you. “Are you feeling alright?” He was placing a hand to your forehead, checking your temperature.

You smile. “I’m fine, Hideyoshi. More than fine actually.” You answer. “That’s actually what this dinner is about.”

“What do you mean?” Hideyoshi asked.

“Well, I went to see the castle doctor about my symptoms today…and after an exam, he figured out what’s going on.”

“Yeah, what did he say?”

“I’m…pregnant!” You exclaim a bright smile on your face.

Hideyoshi’s eyes widen. “Y-you…we’re…” A big smile then break across his face as he pulls you into his arms, holding you to his chest. “That’s wonderful news!”

You grin as you return the hug. “You’re gonna be such a good father.” You say, looking up at him.

“You’re going to be such a good mother.” He replies before pulling you in for a deep, loving kiss. “I love you so much…thank you.” He tells you when you broke the kiss.

You smile. “I love you, too…and thank you, Hideyoshi.”

“You’ve really made me the happiest man in the world. I am so lucky. I can’t wait to share this with you.” Hideyoshi said, still smiling so brightly. “I love you…both of you so much.” He kisses you again and rests a hand over your belly. He never imagined this kind of happiness for his life, but then you came along. And now you were giving him this new gift…his heart was overflowing with happiness.

He couldn’t wait to welcome this baby with you. He also planned on spoiling and pampering you your entire pregnancy.

Yukimura…

Yukimura could tell something was different with you.You had been in a strange mood recently. You’d been humming and working on some secretive sewing project, a gentle smile on your face. When he asked you what was up, you just told him it was just a special commission.

It had been bugging him. He also noticed Muramasa was acting weird around you. More protective and constantly laying his head in your lap and resting it gently against your belly. He’d gotten so frustrated by it all, he was going to Shingen and asking his advice. As soon as he’d described everything to Shingen, a knowing smile had come to his lord’s face.

“I think you should just wait for her to tell you.” Shingen told him. “I am sure you will be happy with what she has to tell you.” Shingen then shoos Yukimura from his room as he wants to start on his own secret projects and looking forward to being called grandpa.

After what feels like forever to Yukimura, he finally corners you in your room before you even have the chance to hide the sewing project. “What are you hiding?” He asks, blunt as ever, as he reaches for your sewing project.

You sigh as you let him take it from your hands. “It’s not finished yet…”

Yukimura holds up the cloth and notices it’s the tiniest kimono he’d ever seen. “What…why are you making something so tiny?”

You frown as you look at him. “It’s…for the baby.”

“Baby? Is one of the other seamstresses having a baby?”

“Look on the back.” You tell him.

Yukimura turns the tiny kimono around and notices the Sanada crest on the back. “What…why…”

“I’M pregnant, dummy.”

Yukimura blinks. He looks between you and the little kimono he is holding. “Y-you…are pregnant?”

You nod. “Yes. I WAS TRYING to surprise you. I wanted to finish that and give it to you at dinner tonight.” You tell him, pouting.

Yukimura sinks to his knees beside you. “I…I’m gonna be a father…” He mutters in disbelief.

You look at him, worry eating at you and causing you to chew on your bottom lip. “Are… are you not happy?” You ask, almost hesitantly.

Yukimura looks at you, his eyes wide. It’s then that his mind catches up to his actions. He gently sets the baby clothing aside and then reaches for you, wrapping his arms around you and crushing you to his chest. “I’m such an idiot.” He mutters, kissing the top of your head. “Of course, I’m happy. I was just…surprised. I wasn’t expecting it.”

You laugh and hug him back. “You can’t be THAT surprised. I mean…you DO know what makes babies right? Pretty sure Shingen gave you that talk a while ago, right?” You tease him.

Yukimura’s cheeks redden. “I KNOW that..and how could I forget THAT talk…” He replies. “I just meant… we weren’t trying or anything…”

“Certainly weren’t preventing.” You remark.

Yukimura sighs and then pulls back slightly so he can look into your eyes. He has a big smile on his face. “I’m happy. Really happy…maybe a little scared, too…I mean…ME a father?”

“I think you’ll be a good one.” You tell him.

Yukimura smiles. “With you at my side, I think I can be.” He tells you. He then pulls you in for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Yukimura then leans down and kisses your belly. “And I love you, too. I promise, I’ll be the best father for you.”

You can’t help but to let out a little delighted squeal.

Yukimura looks up at you. “What the hell was that?”

“What? You were just being so cute!” You tell him.

Yukimura’s cheeks redden and he looks away bashfully. “You’re the cute one…dummy.” He’s then pulling you back into a hug so you can’t see his blushing cheeks.

You can’t help but to smile, happy to start this next adventure with the one you love. He’s so happy he can’t stand it. He never knew he could be this happy and scared at the same time. But it was all thanks to you and he was looking forward to having a family with you.

Taglist: @limonzu @zulablaise @oda-princess @kisara-16 @tele86

@lovely-bubb1es @lucyw260

[rainbowsky]

I haven’t had any questions lately but love your blog and your insights. In a video of the group photo at Milan fashion week, GG is sitting next to the older man and they are talking. I figure in some videos when GG is talking to others he has translators but it does not look like anyone from his staff is around and I was wondering if they were speaking in English or what other languages he might speak. Love to hear your insights and hope you are doing well.

Hi coyote! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

The man he's seen talking with a lot is Diego Della Valle, the CEO of Tod's. GG has a fantastic relationship with him, and he even referred to him as yeye (grandpa) in his Vogue interview from the show.

Last time GG was in Milan Della Valle took GG on a tour of some beautiful sites around Italy - including the Colloseum in Rome -and some sites significant to the brand (the workshop, the flagship store, etc.). GG got to spend a lot of time with him, so they had plenty of opportunity to build a strong relationship.

You can tell just by his entire demeanour around GG that Della Valle adores GG. Which makes absolute sense given how cute, gracious and charming GG is. When GG arrived at the Tod's show this year Della Valle lit up like a Christmas tree.

They sat together last year at the Tod's show as well (those who missed out on last year's trip can check out my 'gg milan fashion week 2023' tag).

Anyway, you weren't asking about Della Valle, you were asking about how GG is able to communicate with him. The simple answer is that GG does have some English!

Many students in China learn English in school, although they sometimes don't get as much opportunity to speak it, so it's probably kind of like my French - I understand quite well to hear, read and write it, but my accent and pronunciation are a bit rough around the edges (that's putting it mildly 😅).

With the international travel he's done and all the elbow-rubbing he's had to do with foreign celebrities and brand stakeholders I think GG has had a lot more opportunity than the average person to exercise his language skills, so I've no doubt he's improving all the time.

He's also a huge music lover and has many times been seen singing English songs from Avril Lavigne, Ellie Goulding, Sam Smith and many more. A couple of English performances he's done in the past:

Starts at 3:22 (I'll never get over hockey player GG 🥲).

It also seems clear that GG has a general interest in languages. He knows a fair bit of Korean and he and DD are seen in The Untamed BTS speaking various languages and dialects, including English. This is also a common feature of LRLG rumors.

There are many clips to be found online of GG speaking English for ads, occasionally a few lines for drama roles, throwing in English phrases into interviews, etc. Just based those alone I think one can tell that he's got pretty good English. His pronunciation is quite good.

If you watch some of the vlogs he's posted from the international events, and some of the clips shared by brands and magazines, you can catch moments of GG having English interactions with many people at those events. One of my absolute favorites is when he's replying to a bodyguard in a vlog when he was in Florence last year (starts at 4:08).

The bodyguard is trying to teach him how to roll his r to pronounce Florence in Italian ('Firenze') and GG says, "I can't do it." The way he says it is so damn cute, I almost died when I heard it.

Anyway, so to answer your question, GG speaks in English with Della Valle and others at those events!

[thenightling]

Willy Wonka misconceptions

As Charlie and the Chocolate Factory / Willy Wonka has become weirdly popular lately because of the successful prequel film and most recently that really botched / rip-off Wonka event in Glasgow Scotland, it felt like a good time for this post.

Here are a list of popular misconceptions about the book and films.

1. Much of the Internet thinks of Wonka as a "Serial killer of children." I pointed out that at the end of the 2006 film and novel you see the children alive, though altered. And in the 1971 film that version of Wonka says that they will all be fine, but a little wiser. Someone tried to argue with me that he was just trying to placate Charlie. Really!? Since when did that Wonka ever lie to make people feel better?

Based on his previous behavior we have no reason to believe Wonka would lie just to make Charlie feel better. It's just a dark, edgy, annoying headcanon to pretend Wonka killed those other kids when every version tells you they survived.

____________________________

2. Grandpa Joe was not "Faking it" or "being lazy." It seems ironic to me that so many rant and even get genuinely angry about the character Grandpa Joe. It is especially odd to me when the rage is in regard to the depiction in the 1971 film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory.

The reason it is odd to me is because in the 1971 film Grandpa Joe very clearly was suffering through severe depression, possibly a long bipolar depression phase.

The depression is clear in his "I've got a golden Ticket" song.

"I never thought my life could be Anything but catastrophe"

"I never had a chance to shine Never a happy song to sing"

It seems weird to me that today people shame characters like Cinderella for not being assertive and empowered when she's a live-long abuse victim. And then you have the people against Disney's The Little Mermaid who say she gave up who and what she is for a man but ignore that she had a song number from before she ever saw Eric, where she expressed body dysphoria and made clear she wanted to be human even then.

And you have a large part of the Internet shaming Grampa Joe for being "lazy" and "faking being sick' while he's literally telling us that he he's been in a severe depression.

It's almost like watching a generation that supposedly respects mental illness and understands depression in ways previous generations didn't... suddenly having a justification to shame someone for having all the symptoms of clinical depression.

Hell, even the song "I've got a Golden Ticket" kind of indicates Grandpa Joe is entering a manic phase. If Grandpa Joe's illness is psychological why do we treat it as not-real? I get so annoyed at how many people mock the character or act like he's a con artist exploiting Charlie.

________________________

3. The Oompa Loompas were not slaves.

It's true that the earliest depictions of the Oompa Loompas were little African people (before the novel was revised) but in all versions he tells the kids that he pays them in coca-beans. That might sound like he pays them in fallen acorns he found in his garden but it's made clear that to Oompa Loompas, in their society, coca-beans are worth more than gold.

Try to imagine you got a job working for aliens who offer to pay you in large bars of gold if you just help him make some gold jewelry. But because gold isn't worth THAT much to these aliens they think you're a pathetic slave, even though Lofty (the Oompa Loompa from the new Wonka movie) probably now has a palace on Loompa Land that he uses as a summer house.

Interesting bit of trivia: Charlie was originally going to be black.

___________________________

4. Wonka (2023) is NOT a remake. A lot of people mistakenly think this is yet another remake. No. It's a musical prequel to the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie from 1971. ________________________

5. Lots of fans have "figured out" that the shoe shine boy Wonka sees early in Wonka is Charlie. One small problem with that. This is twenty-something Willy Wonka. Wonka was supposed to be pushing fifty or sixty when he went looking for an heir. The timeline wouldn't work. The director has confirmed that for this reason the shoe shine boy is NOT Charlie Bucket.

And there you go. A list of popular Wonka misconceptions debunked.

[celtrist]

Y'know, I've been thinking about this comic a bit more lately.

And while I'm not quite sure the full narrative of this little succubus's story, @virgil-is-a-cutie (can't take credit, I didn't even think about this) pointed out the possibility of Alastor being a grandpa watching over her descendants! And while I'm not actually sure if our succubus actually did ever have kids, it crossed my mind (very spontaneously, like with me writing this post) that it could potentially be interesting if Verosika was related! She's potentially around the age range of being Alastor's grandchild in relation to the succubus's age! I think it popped into my mind because Verosika's a succubus that we know in canon, but also, she and Alastor could have an interesting dynamic considering her job and personality.

Again, this is a very, very, very, VERY random thought that popped up and I'm not sure how into it I am or if it'd even be explored too much.

I'm not really sure about the story of the succubus' life (she was kind of a throwaway character, hence her lacking a name). But I'm sure that'll be explored further in the future as I do think I might make some more comics with her! I have a fun idea to go about it and I'm not sure how many comics I'd actually do, but I have a pretty strong idea for a sort of "last comic" for this cute little idea. But that won't be coming out for a while haha. A lot of people seemed interested in seeing more so I'll occasionally get some stuff out concerning it. But I suppose the question is rather should I just leave it as a sequel or make a series of comics with it? I'll sit on that I suppose /ᐠ˵- ⩊ -˵マ I'm still astounded to see the post still getting some attention quite honestly, and I greatly appreciate the support! At the very least I should redraw it some time to be more pretty looking.

Just a super random thought though. I'll try and get some art out soon though! I have wips, it's just a matter of finishing them, haha I also have a very silly animatic on the way, so be on the lookout for that

[rikeijo]

Medalist ~early screening event report~

>>>((by a Yuri!!! on ICE fan and with spoilers))<<<

Just came back home from early screening of Medalist, episode 1.~! I've never read the manga and I know almost nothing about the plot 🙃

Part of my motivation to buy the ticket was to see full credits, haha... 😆😆Unfortunately, I saw no familiar names, although of course, I could only see it once, so I might have missed somebody... However, as it has been already announced, the skating was choreographed by Suzuki Akiko-san, and she also skated the choreography for motion capture. There was also Japanese Skating Federation in the credits, and TV Asahi participates in the production committee.

The event itself was very cute~ I got a ticket for the 'second skate' at Marunouchi Piccadilly. It was easy to get a ticket even earlier this week, but in the end, both 'skates' were fully sold out. What was quite amazing was that there were fans of literally all ages (except small kids, of course and it was quite late...). From high school students to ~70 old grandpas. Boys and girls, 50/50 (and I had a seat right next to a true Medalist otaku ((a guy in his 20s)), and that was quite funny and so wholesome, because the emotions were running sooo high...✨ and I was just so jealous, because yk... iceado😞).

First, the screening of the first episode! And as somebody, for whom it was the first meeting with Medalist, it definitely made me want to watch the whole thing, and it was a shame they only showed one, because I wanted to see mooore! 😆 The characters designs are, imo, very pretty (we saw Tsukasa-sensei as competitive ice dancer in episode 1. in flashbacks, and he reminded me a bit of blond Yuuri ((the hairstyle and eyebrows!)) but that's my bias 😂)

I remember seeing people (in Jp) lamenting on twitter that it's a small studio and the animation will be shit. The anime uses a lot of CGI, for sure, but imo, for the skating parts, it's definitively better than bad sakuga, or trying everything to avoid showing too much of movement. The backgrounds etc. looked very sterile because of it, though. (I personally understood very well, why YoI's director, Yamamoto Sayo, wanted to have everything hand-drawn, even though she was overworking her staff because of it, and still, eventually they had to use CGI, anyway. The imperfect, hand-drawn animation will certainly always have more soul in it.) That they used even more CGI for all those shojo manga-like sparklings on top of that, though... I understand that this is a part of the convention, but for me, that was the part that I thought didn't look that good.

Hitomi-san became my favorite character. So pretty and cute (and I want to know her backstory~~~)! Inori-chan is cute, too, but the first episode was mainly from Tsukasa-sensei perspective (I don't know if that's also how it is in the manga), so she didn't seem that fleshed out as a character, and to me, she seemed more like 'a child' category of character, than true protagonist. I'm curious to see, how she will develop. Her VA, Haruse Natsumi-san has a really beautiful voice. The first episode starts with Tsukasa coming to the rink for his job interview and ends just after Inori-chan becomes Tsukasa's student. So basically, the whole story of how Inori-chan started skating, but Tsukasa-sensei feels more like he's going to be the protagonist.

Next, the talk after the show! The MC was TV Asahi's announcer. The VAs (Inori-chan, Tsukasa-sensei, Hikaru-chan and Yodaka-san) entered and then the usual greetings. Then they each talked a bit about their own character, but naturally, they didn't reveal much, just basic info. They mainly talked about Tsukasa-sensei's perspective this time and eg. which scene is his VA, Otsuka-san's fave in episode 1. He answered that it was the scene, in which Tsukasa-sensei thinks that Inori-chan seems suspicious and then he runs after her when she runs away from the rink. They also mentioned, about episode 1. that figure skating, all of the basics, is very well-explained, so it's easy to follow even for people, who don't know anything about figure skating. Here, imo, the use of CGI was also an advantage, because the movements were very clear and precise, when they explained the the technique of how eg. a figure skater uses the inside/outside edge. After that Hikaru-chan and Yodaka-san also got an introduction by their VAs, but because they didn't appear in the first episode, scenes from episodes 2. were shown. For Yodaka-san, they showed a scene, in which he doesn't even talk, just smokes and looks all mysterious and cool, and everybody laughed at that. Then Uchida-san, his VA, laughed as well, and said that even though he has never smoked a cigarette in his life, he needed to go to the studio for recording, and his job in the first few episodes was only to pretend to smoke and nothing else. He also said that to him, his name, 'Jun' which means 'pure', is important part of the character. Then more characters were shown (including newly revealed ones and all are on twitter now), and the cast talked a bit, who they want to pay close attention to. They mainly talked about Sekoma-san (whose name was revealed to be 'Mamoru', which also means 'to protect') and Sonidori Junichiro, but again, they didn't reveal anything.

Then it was time for VA fanservice - the question corner and the question was 'what can you get a gold medal for?' Haruse-san: Can tell apart all 7 kinds of figure skating jumps, even just by what kind of approach the skater takes for the jump. Otsuka-san: Sleeping on the floor. Ichinose-san: Talking with her cat (that was super cute, she was describing what kind of conversations they have - apparently cats think that they speak human language). Uchida-san: Going to sleep very early, even at 7pm to wake up early and play games.

Then they talked about the future events, skating-related and special stage before the anime starts, and radio show etc. (all info also on twitter now) (as a YoI fan, massively jealous 😭😂)

And that's mainly it, it was about 1h? long event!

[shewhopats]

Overwatch characters watching your kid

I've been thinking about writing some silly short stories about OW characters getting stuck watching someone's kid, but I figured I would make this guide for my headcannon for the kind of babysitter each of them would be.

Brigitte and Reinhardt would make you the most nervous with their methods. Lots of rough-housing, throwing them around and into the air, giving your kid sugar, letting them climb things, and overall just encouraging mayhem and rule-breaking. "You mom/dad doesn't let you do this at home? Well, they're not here, are they?" Your kid will come home thoroughly exhausted, but bitter about you not being as fun as they are.

Orisa would make the same mistakes as Brigitte and Reinhardt, but more out of ignorance and inexperience. Like letting your kid stay up too late, because she doesn't understand why going to bed at a decent time is important, or feeding them something that makes them sick because that's what they said they wanted to eat. Unintentionally lets your kid walk all over her, but once you teach her how it's done, she'll be your go-to option when you need a break.

Zenyatta would be so intrigued by the natural imagination and curiosity of children. He'd provide lots of different toys, art supplies, and time for unrestricted and uninstructed play. A one-man enrichment program. Just don't try to tell him there are boy toys and girls toys. Your kid will be allowed to play with whatever they want. He would also unironically have a blast playing pretend with dolls or action figures. I'm talking a 25-part narrative with backstories, lore, worldbuilding, and an Endgame-style final conflict.

Genji, Kiriko, Tracer, and B.O.B would be the kings and queens of "don't tell your parents." Extra screen-time, taking them out for ice cream, staying up a little later then their normal bedtime, etc. What I would call "a healthy amount of rule-breaking." They have everyone else convinced they are Responsible™ but you can't help noticing that your kid is always excited to hangout with them.

Ana and Torbjorn could be depended on the same way you can trust grandma and grandpa. They've had kids, so they know all the tips, tricks, and games to keep your kid clean, fed, safe, and happy. Just don't tell them some dumb shit like "organic, non-gmo fruits only." Your kid will be eating bananas from the supermarket like everyone else. But for more sensible rules, even the ones they don't agree with, they will follow them.

Echo will make you fill out a 200-question survey and write an essay on how you want your kid cared for. She will follow every instruction down to the letter, and send you updates every 30 minutes. If your kid sneezes, she will call you to ask about it. The downside is your kid will probably hate her for being such a rules monger.

Baptiste, Illari, Lucio, and Sojourn would try so hard to be responsible and follow your instructions, but puppy-eyes work on them 80% of the time. Your home will look like a warzone when you get back, but they'll help you clean up.

Lifeweaver, Pharah, Mei, and Zarya would get a whiff of that specific smell babies have that makes your DNA scream at you to make one yourself. They would be the sweetest, most gentle caretakers on this list. They'll spend most of the time snuggling on the couch, watching T.V. and drinking hot coco. Would let your kid give them a makeover, paint their nails, and play with their hair. Would read to and rock them to sleep, tuck them in really snug. They'd probably look forward to seeing your kid again, and every time you happen upon one of them, they'll only ask what's going on with the kiddo.

Sombra, Symmetra, and Widowmaker would rather be water-boarded then spend five minutes with those sticky-fingered cunt goblins you call kids.

Ashe, Hanzo, and Winston would happily agree to babysit for you, thinking they will be serviceable at it. How hard could it be? Then an hour later they call you, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and beg you to come back, because your kid is crying or throwing a tantrum. They definitely have the potential to be great caretakers, but they would need someone to walk them through it at first.

Bastion and Sigma definitely WANT to give babysitting a try, but they understand why that's probably not a safe idea. They would question your intelligence if you asked them.

Cassidy and D.va would take your kid to McDonalds or somewhere else with else with a play-place, and let them go wild while they sit on a bench nearby. They will do the bare minimum amount of work to keep your kid alive, because they have better things to do. Would only babysit as a favor for you if no one else is available.

Mercy is married to her work, and Ramattra is dedicated to his mission. If you somehow convince them to watch your kid for even a single hour, they'll set-up a playpen with whatever toys they like, toss in a sippy cup and snack every now and then, and ignore their existence while they do their usual business.

Doomfist, Moira, Reaper, and Soldier: 76 would tape your kid to a chair the first time it annoys them. I know there's the fandom joke of S76 being the dad of the team, but he's always come off as grumpy and impatient to me.

Your kid would love the junkers (Junker Queen, Junkrat, Roadhog, Wrecking Ball) for all the wrong reasons. They would teach your kid how to make a grenade launcher out of plastic bottles and rubber bands, 37 new swear words, and how to punch people in the throat. Unless you want to get a call from the school about your kid blowing up the chemistry room, I would choose literally anyone else to babysit.

Mauga would use your kids to get dates. He'll take your daughter to a dance class and talk to any single parents about how much of a family man he is and how difficult being a single dad. He'll take your son to play catch in a park so he has an excuse to take his shirt off and flex his muscles. He'll coach your kid to walk up to someone and say, "my uncle thinks your pretty, so maybe you can play with us."

[the-boney-rolls]

The Great Covid Beatles Binge, Day 2: Give My Regards to Broad Street

Hoo boy, here we go!

OK so we open with a stern/bored looking Paul stuck in traffic in the rain and it looks like he's spacing out... hey, Paul, are you starting to daydream? Paul? Is this whole movie about to be a dream, Paul? Oh god

This silly little car! The computer, the carpet, the pool ball gear shift. It's giving the 80's car version of the Beatles house in Help! It's also giving hyper-masculine in a way that is, I'm sorry, not convincing.

This plot is already deeply inscrutable. Something about some missing tapes, a reformed criminal that Paul knows somehow and trusts for some reason, and some ominous business men. Something bad will happen at midnight if the tapes aren't found. OK!

Ringo looks so cool and hot! That vest over that sick as hell dragon shirt. Yes. This scene is genuinely funny, too -- Ringo spends the entirety of "Here, There and Everywhere" and "Yesterday" searching through his mountains of drum equipment looking for brushes, only to find them too late. Apparently, the reason for this scene is that Ringo just didn't want to re-record old Beatles songs!

And now we have Paul, Ringo, George Martin and Geoff Emerick all together in a scene! Makes me think about how George Harrison apparently was a little miffed Paul didn't just call him to ask for filmmaking advice since it was something he had experience with. What could have been!

“Wanderlust” is such a great song, actually, damn.

“I’m not a bad boy, really. I’m just — er, manipulated” John??

Now this is more like it! Surprise Linda in drag, hell yes!

I don't know why this scene is happening? It's a rehearsal for... something? But I'll take it. I love "Ballroom Dancing" and I love vaudeville Paul.

I'm starting to feel like Paul's grandpa in AHDN, "so far, I've been in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room." Did Paul's experience on that set define what a movie is to him? "Ah yes, a movie must include lots of transportation from one location to another and then some musical scenes." But dear, it worked because there were jokes! And all four of you to play off each other.

I.......... what

This is Silly Love Songs, of all things!

Again, I don't know why this scene is happening in the context of the movie. Is it another rehearsal for something? A music video? Television special? Who knows, Yoko! But OK here we go, I sure am having fun! Linda is extremely into it. That slap bass kills. There's a Michael Jackson impersonator for some reason? Sure! It makes no sense but I love this man and his bizarre beautiful mind.

So now we're doing band rehearsal in some kind of barn? Or abandoned warehouse? Or something? All of the plot of this movie seems to happen in dialog in cars en route to some ambiguous musical engagement.

“Do you think we can get some heat in here or are we practicing to be Canadians?” God bless you, Ringo.

“Should we try Not Such a Bad Boy” “Do we have to?” “Yeah” Bossy Paul bosses around a Beatle, we love to see it.

Is this song about him or John? 

The French horn player coming in late to record "For No One," inexplicably in a bright red motorcycle helmet, so late that he’s preparing up until right before the solo starts. Reminds me of that story of Ringo recording Hey Jude. But it also feels very symbolic of something. There are so many odd inscrutable details in this movie, it could almost be Lynchian in someone else's hands.

“We’re running, and running out of time too” It feels meaningful but I don't know how.

Hello Mr. Darcy! Wow, can I have an entire movie that’s just this Victorian dream sequence? Can we go back in time and do a Beatles movie period piece, please??

The strings in this which are inspired by but are not quite "Eleanor Rigby" are lovely. Apparently this whole sequence is called "Eleanor's Dream," which implies that Paul is Eleanor. Make of that what you will, I suppose.

I like that Linda is a pants-wearing photographer in this period scene. Linda's gotta Linda.

This strikes me as very Evil Beatles. Again, make of that what you will.

Barbara and Linda are acting the HELL out of this going over the waterfall scene damn.

I don't know, I could screen grab this entire segment, it's amazing, it's insane.

But I can't gloss over Paul being horny for Ghost Horse Girl Linda. Incredible.

"That’s it you’re finished. What are you gonna do now?" Well ok at least this one is pretty obviously a reference to the critical reception of his career after the Beatles and again after John.

"Uncle Jim" Ok so I guess this is supposed to be his dad, but what is the point of this scene? And why the monkey? The further I get into this film the more I feel like I am looking deep into this man's psyche but through the murkiest of windows. I'm here for the weird dream symbolism, Paul, but if you're gonna go that route, again go full Lynch and get even weirder.

Just the straight up original recording of "Band on the Run" feels out of place with all these re-records. I wonder why that choice.

His car license plate is "PM 1" That's right, baby, you're number 1.

Another little cute but inconsequential day dream (presumably within the dream that is this entire movie). He looks like Roy Orbison here.

Oh ok Harry was just locked in a cupboard this whole time. So the whole "plot" was pointless. Cool cool cool.

Paul and Harry being giddy and laughing together is cute though, and it makes me wish that that relationship was fleshed out more. Who are they to each other, exactly??

Yup it was all a dream. Love it, love that for us. Thanks, Paul.

OK so this was definitely barely a movie. There could have been something here, but I'll go back to what I said above -- I wish he'd gone weirder with the whole thing! And I wish Paul himself had been weirder. The character Paul is kind of a dud, just plodding along from place to place and only coming alive when he performs. It's like that Hawaiian shirt is supposed to be a stand in for characterization. But worth it for the music video scenes and for getting a tiny glimpse into Paul's psyche.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

very self indulgent but i keep thinking about this scenario and its so silly, may i request a reader who's been somehow isekai'd (basically transported) into stardew and is proper down bad (or in other words; a massive crush) for magnus?

I have to say, I've never been a fan of isekai (not that I don't like it, I've just never been interested in that genre). But it turned out to be a lot of fun to write about this situation. I hope it didn't come out too mixed, it's just my first time writing stories in this genre. Thank you so much for the ask, anon! 😊💕

_________________________________________

You wake up on the grass near some strange bus stop. No one is around, your head is spinning, and you can't remember what happened. Here you were walking home from a boring job late at night to have dinner, go to bed in your small apartment alone and go to work again and so on until retirement. Suddenly - it's all gone dark and now you're standing outside the bus stop.

Hello, anybody here?

"Oh, you must be [Y/n]!" Finally, at least there's someone around, it's getting lonely and- Wait, how does that red-haired woman know your name?

"I'm Robin, local carpenter. Our mayor asked me to meet you and escort you to your new home!"

New what? Alas, before you could even say anything, the mysterious woman took you to an old ruin that she apparently called "your home".

"Ah, our new farmer!" And who's that old fart? Wha- what farmer?

"Nice to meet you! I'm Lewis, the mayor. Your Grandpa probably have told you about your farm back then".

But I don't... Grandpa's farm? You tried to say something, but you were interrupted again.

"Here's your new home! There is a shipping bin nearby, you can sell your farm products. Welcome and go ahead - get to know your new community!" As you stand there in shock, both strangers walk away.

What the fuck, you thought. Why does everyone think I'm the new farmer? And why did those two bring me to an old house with no furniture except a bed and a TV on the floor? No kitchen? And no toilet??? What the hell do you mean parsnip seeds?! Am I supposed to clear this whole farm of rocks and bushes with a rusty pickaxe and a flooded scythe???

You decide not to panic and play up the situation a bit to figure out where you are and how you can get back home, because the whole thing is a huge misunderstanding. At the same time ask around to the locals, what is this area? Stardew Valley? Huh...

"Playing along with the situation" became a bit more difficult, because you had to really learn the basics of growing crops, the local fisherman gave you an old fishing rod for some damn reason, and then on the fifth day of this hell you have no money left even for food and have to pick berries in the forest (wow, what a life!). After entering the Community Centre and getting to know the "apples" creatures you already doubt your own sanity.

The next day you get an mail from.... Ras-mo-di-us? Ok, weird. Asking you to come to his "magic tower". What this locals are smoking in here is a mystery of the universe, definitely. Anyway, you have no choice but to head to that very tower.

Flowers all around, the whole room is foggy, it smells weird, and it's also hot - it looks like some kind of drug den... So where's the weirdo?

"I've been waiting for you, young [Y/n]."

Oh, no, he's hot.

You wanted to slap your head. You're lost, you don't know what's going on or where you are, you're cursing all this farm work, the locals are weird, and this is some suspicious-looking bloke, and your first thought is "oh no, he's hot"? There's definitely some weird drugs in the air...

Look, you tried to keep your voice as calm as possible, I don't think I'm from this universe.

"I know, young fool". The fuck, what now? Well, bring me back!

"Alas, I don't have that kind of magic yet, it takes time and rare resources. For now.... You should be what the people of Pelican Town think you are."

Oh, that's just fantastic!

Running after the crows that ruined your crops, pulling an old can of local cola out of a fishing rod hook, walking with tired hands after cutting down some trees, screaming in the Mines, escaping from slimes and bats, making ingots for necessary machines until night.... And you've got some kind of magic now. A quiet country life, nothing fancy.

Then there's that annoying supermarket, which reminds you painfully of that boring old office job....

Although, the locals here are mostly friendly.... They see that you're uncomfortable in your new community and try to make you feel at home. You really appreciated it, and tried your best for them in return by listening to their stories or giving those leftovers of a successful harvest. Your skills grew, you had already made friends with everyone in the Valley, and even kicked that stupid Joja company out of town. Little funny Junimos, hee-hee!

In particular you became close to Magnus (Rasmodius' first name). Even though it was hard for you to still believe in magic, but his talk about parallel worlds, his fascination with magical plants, his talking, his laugh, his looks (dilf material, oh my!), his kind heart and his pride in new spells and magical protection of the Valley from monsters.... You fell in love with him.

And after some conflicting thoughts about whether you're allowed to fall in love with anyone here if this isn't your world? But you have long been part of this world, part of this cosy and friendly community, part of this incredible and magical world.

All dreamy thoughts were gone when Magnus announced to you in a ringing voice that he'd found a way to get you home.

Home?, you repeated. But I'm already home.

And you just kissed Magnus, the die is cast. If he refuses, if he turns his back on you, it'll be hard for you to bear. But Magnus, oddly enough, returned the kiss.

"Then... The choice is made. I was afraid that... I fell in love with you as well, and that you would have to leave forever. But now... Now..."

He didn't have time to finish, because you kissed him again, more passionately this time.

Insert subtitles, ladies and gentlemen, for here is the happy ending.