#but I'm still not going to delete this account

[garpen]

My January 2025

1) I deleted my gender, pronouns, sexuality, and spirituality off of all my public accounts (with my name and face) after you know who was elected. Having conversations with my ama about packing go bags just in case. Stock piling on necessities and food just in case.

3) I got hit by a car (ER doc gave me the all clear, so no worries)

3) My PCP sent me back to the ER two days later due to a neurological issues and possible brain bleed (Doc gave me the all clear, so no worries)

4) The hospital I was in caught fire (It was put out relatively quickly, so no worries)

5) Watched a man at said hospital die (I used to work in as a SS in a SNF/Rehab with tons of geriatric patients so I'm desensitized to death, so no worries)

6) My card information was stolen to pay for someone's onlyfans subscription (card has been canceled and I am in the process of getting a new one, so no worries)

See parts 1-4, and 6: Here

7) One of my dogs got out and ran away (we got her back after a few hours, so no worries)

8) My sorta ex's (we're still good friends it's been four years) crush asked me out and I rejected them. Funny actually bc they've tried setting me up with another one of their friends awhile back ago. Dang I got three bitches in that friend group, I didn't realize I had game like that (we're all chill though I think, so no worries)

Not gonna put the whole convo, but here's a snippet:

9) Many friends, family, and family friends are contacting me and saying we will not be able to see each other for a long time bc ICE raids are happening nearby and we are all very worried. Discussing with my ama that if something happens and we need to leave the USA, which family/friends would be best to go to in Mexico. (I am very much white passing but the fear is still there as both my parents are from Mexico, and especially worried for my non-white passing family members and friends)

Just one example-

10) Someone made a fake Instagram account pretending to be me. And tried to take money from my friends/family. One of my siblings was dead ass a minute away from sending them $150 (literally happened today at the very end of the month, but my peeps have already started to report and block them so no worries).

✨Can't wait to see what February has in store for me ✨

[sophieinwonderland]

Hello Sophie. I am reaching out on behalf of Sandstorm to request you take down the post accusing her of running system-facts. This is blatantly false and we would very much appreciate to end this without any further altercations.

The blog “system-facts” has never been on our blog list. The only blogs we have ever had are @driaderg, @princess-auklet, @first-world-system-problems, @sandstorms-syscourse, and @queen-coral.

I sincerely do not wish for any further issues. I just wish for you to delete the post, and post an apology.

Thank you, Princess Auklet.

...

I started this?

Respectfully, I didn't know sandstorms-syscourse existed until they sent me hate asks accusing me out of nowhere of being transphobic and anti-endo two weeks ago. Had they not sent those asks, which echoed things system-facts and associated blogs have accused me of in the past, I would never have suspected them.

Your system should really not come after me if you don't want to be involved in drama.

I'm not saying this is some type of revenge thing over that ask either. It's not. It's just that I find it rich that when your system comes after me unprovoked with ridiculous accusations and character attacks, that's fine by you. But people making allegations about your system is a terrible libel that you need to put a stop to and demand an apology for.

You want me to say I'm wrong for laying out all the connections I've seen between these. But I can't do that. Because I'm not willing to lie.

Beyond the similarities I've laid out between system-facts and Sandstorm, there are also those from Pearlite's post since they suspected your system was behind this back in December.

Some of those, I admit, might be a bit tenuous in isolation. Most of these don't feel like smoking guns on there own. Just a bunch of points that add up when taken together.

Just because your system and those other blogs had similar interests or wrote "transID" the same way or had headmates with similar names might not mean anything alone. And while you and system-facts both may have dismissed willogenic systems for seeing systems as having "funny little people in your head," this is at least a pretty common-ish phrase.

But you know something that did strike out at me over everything else in that list? The "nothing is impossible with systems" line from both Auklet and Translucent.

Seen below from the Pearlite post.

It's just a very specific string of words so rarely used that Google can't find any trace of it on the net.

And searching for that phrase on Tumblr shows one result. Auklet's. (Admittedly, Tumblr's search engine is trash.)

Could translucent-system still be someone who saw those words on Auklet's blog and copied them for some reason? I mean... I guess it's possible. But to what end? Was it just subconscious? Or was translucent such a mastermind that they copied Auklet's wording knowing that it would eventually lead to your system being blamed in the future after Sandstorms makes a series of hate asks to people in the community repeating the exact same exact rhetoric as Translucent and system-facts?

Even if your system wasn't running system-facts, can you at least see why I find it very suspicious to see the same exact string of words from these two different accounts? And literally nowhere else on the internet.

Especially with all the other many similarities adding up so incredibly neatly.

Before seeing Pearlite's posts, I had made a post briefly apologizing for the mistake, and was going to accept that I might be wrong.

After reading it though, I'm about... 92% sure your system is system-facts and translucent. Not 100%. But pretty high. And that leaves me here...

You want me to say I'm wrong, but since I do believe I'm most likely correct, so saying I think I'm wrong about it would be a lie.

You want me to apologize, but my sympathy after the hate asks accusing me of transphobia is zero at the moment. And unlike some people, I'm not interested in giving a fake apology meant only to appease others.

I can't give you these things that you want.

But can I give you advice instead?

Ride the wave for once!

If I am right about who you are, your entire shtick up until this point has been saying horrible things, getting blowback for the horrible things you've said, and then running away from them, desperately trying to make them go away.

Auklet makes an anti-willogenic post on their blog in November, gets pushback, immediately "apologizes" to make the drama go away.

System-facts makes anti-willogenic posts a couple weeks later, gets pushback, fakes a fight with their host and shuts down the blog.

System-facts reopens the blog, makes more anti-willogenic posts, gets more pushback, fakes their death.

Translucent reveals themselves to have been a fake willogenic system the entire time, gets pushback, deletes their blog.

You can see the pattern, can't you?

Provocation > Reaction > Flight Response

If I'm right about who you are, it looks like you've been in this pattern for a while. Stuck in a loop repeating the same cycle over and over again.

So let me just say as someone who has been targeted by more hate campaigns than I could count, however bad the hate might seem at the moment, it is just words and it will be over in a week. Syscoursers have short memories. You can block any hate anons you get (and please people, don't send them hate), the Sun will rise each morning, and the topic is going to change away from whatever you said or did and move on to something else.

It's not as scary as it seems.

I'm not going to make a retraction or say I believe I was wrong when I don't. But it doesn't matter because this will pass anyway. You don't need me to make this go away for you.

Time will do that on its own.

[wanderingmind867]

I don't know how to feel about having this account. I can make a list of pros and cons. But for me, the core message would be: I should be able to browse anonymously the same way I do with an account. But as for pros and cons of having this account... Let's see:

Pros: Having this account (plus being back in school, having therapy and having taken many social skills classes) probably helped me become more social. Oh, don't get me wrong: I still have no friends irl besides my dad. But I am capable of occasionally responding to people now. So that feels like more than I'd ever done before this account. The one other pro of having an account is that it's much easier to share my ideas and thoughts. Which can be nice, especially since I only have my dad in real life to share things with.

Cons: one big con is tied to the pros. My social interactions may have improved marginally, but I've also learned to get really upset if I don't get engagement with my posts (or if I don't post enough, generally). So that's probably bad. Another thing that's bad is my feelings of being sedentary online. And I feel like I could definitely argue that is all tied back to having this account. It might not actually be tied back to that, but my brain could argue it is. so there's a lot of cons, but there's probably also some decent pros.

[drdtappreciation]

it’s been a long while but im here to share my pure love for drdt like other fans

it’s a phenomenal project that im constantly thinking abt everyday, I don’t know if tumblr would even let me copy and paste all the positive compliments in the english dictionary here!

but recently drama has happened and im really concerned. I love drdt, I don’t want it to end nor do I want the fandom to break.

^

[miodiodavinci]

i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?

i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever

more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there

[twilight-princess240]

I'm probably going to regret posting this and might delete it at some point, who knows, but I want to get this off my chest. I'll probably regret doing this on a public post on Tumblr later.

Is it weird to miss someone who you've only talked to briefly on here who deactivated their account for a reason or another, and since you don't know if there's any other social media out there they have along with the fact that you still didn't talk to them much, you'll probably never encounter them again?

Because that happened to me. I found an account by chance while perusing Tumblr, and I was interested in what posts were on there despite them being 18+ and NSFW. I honestly liked the content when looking through it and I even sent a message through the ask function admitting as such despite being unusually shy for some reason, maybe because at the time I didn't post anything (until my rant about my girl Alyssa Targaryen not too long ago) and I usually prefer to keep to myself.

I admittedly wasn't sure what the response would be and suddenly I felt like the biggest shrinking violet on the planet at the time. It was probably because it was the first time I had ever sent an ask on anyone's account, not to mention this was probably the first guy I reached out to on my own initiative outside of those I was already comfortable around on Discord. I was so nervous and to a certain extent, scared, because even though I was 22 at the time I never knew I could be so shy. I must have been pretty red in the face from my shyness too.

But he reached out to me about my ask through Tumblr's messages function, and he was honestly really kind. In the first message he sent to me, he thanked me for the kindness in my ask, and I was so surprised that he directly reached out to me that not only did my shyness kick in full force, I admittedly didn't respond to it for a month. When I finally responded, he understood I was shy for reasons I couldn't explain at the time, and surprisingly, despite my shyness still lingering, I felt comfortable around him. He assured me that he didn't feel uncomfortable about the fact that I liked a lot of his posts, which I was feeling really conscious about and had admitted to him. I felt like I could come out of my shell at least a bit, open up a little, at least to the point where I was willing to keep talking to him if we could. There were times where there were bumps in the road, where I wasn't sure if we had gotten off on the wrong foot or something or I was wondering if I was annoying or a load because of a tendency to just run my mouth at times, but overall I honestly enjoyed talking to him and his company even if it was solely through Tumblr's messages function.

However, it wasn't for long. We only talked for a few months, and even then, it was really brief and spread out partially due to different time zones. He was dealing with a lot of hate from anons who knew they could get away with it because they could hide behind screens. It was one of the key reasons if not the key reason why he eventually deactivated his blog, last year actually, and probably hasn't returned. Our final exchange, in October last year, was me wishing him luck since he was deleting his blog and possibly not returning, and he thanked me and wished me the best as well. And we both moved on with our lives.

But here's why I think I'm weird when concerning this topic and for even writing all this. It's because somehow, I miss him and feel a wish to reconnect with him and talk with him again. Aside from us talking very sparsely, I'm not sure if we even really knew each other after our message exchanging. As a result of all that, I feel like I shouldn't miss him. Yet I do, and I feel a strange desire to reconnect with him and talk with him again. I try to quash those feelings because not only will it probably never happen, to an extent I feel like it doesn't feel right to miss him and want to reconnect with him after only exchanging messages with him briefly and it being almost a year since he left.

Oh boy, this was practically an essay. While I do feel a bit better about getting this off my chest, I'm probably going to be cringing at myself for this and considering when to delete it as well. It scares me a bit, the fact that even though I didn't mention the person's name at all, someone might still figure out who I'm talking about and somehow get it to him. Well, it's still up in the air as to whether this is going to be deleted or not, but it all depends on how much I regret posting this and how mortified and conscious I feel at least a bit later over even writing this to begin with.

[miscgallery]

you'd never expect the amount of pain attached to a single silly little fandom but here we are

[destructive-delight]

speaking of things working as intended... tumblr as per usual isn't.

[minimoll7]

I really want to draw and post art again but yet its been so incredibly hard to really to do anything? I'm at a point where I really just don't know why. I tend to sketch stuff and maybe sometimes I'll start working on the line art but then I just stop and never go back

I don't know what my problem is or what is really stopping me. I get really happy when I sketch and things are coming out really well!! But then that's kind of it? Its not like I feel super depressed about it or anything, so what's holding me back? A big ol mystery

[tardis--dreams]

Last night i dreamt that the whole chat history between me and my most beloved ex-coworker had been deleted. Truly one of the most horrifying nightmares i've had in a while

[vulpixelates]

😩 dang it. i go to draw for the first time in forever and my stupid pen is acting up aoeifjaoi i think i might need a new nib or something

[youareinlove]

.

[jarognieva]

[unproduciblesmackdown]

shifted gears like alright after the [lucifer the mysteries please] centered approach that found mostly Other Stuff, centering [blade gunnblade please], and already have found something new but in the "possibly inaccurate & probably irrelevant even if otherwise" vein as a review read through the wayback machine says: "perhaps none moreso than the gun toting android Blade Gunblade, perfectly embodied by Asia Kate Dillon. They even get an awesome heart-wrenching backstory." which is so far the singular mention that blade gunnblade is an android, however, reviewers can Just Say Things, so. i believe the blade gunnblade full backstory clip that's available is from pre 2015's run at the pit, & rather a previous run as serials at the flea (and the prop & setpiece differences if it was simply an alex seife understudy performance from 2015 would be: inexplicable) but i have to imagine that blade's peak tragic backstory ft. murdered wife & child would be very similar, & i guess it would be funny if they were just out & about living their ordinary life with a family like that while also an android, but. however i'll also give them that: mentioned a bit more often is that at least at some point kapow-i Becomes part android / referred to as a cyborg, thanks to the same character as in 2015 & prior's tragic backstory. i don't think this fun fact is like super constantly relevant or obvious, so i Could imagine something along the lines of blade getting the same treatment & it also not being particularly more relevant. or else the proximity of such concepts like "kapow-i's a cyborg, the serials run clip seems to refer to like 'we need this specific rando who is now blade to be injected with Ultimate Fighter elixir (& have their family killed. because) & people's whose bodies couldn't handle it are now kind of like funny little robots (cybernetically automated but with some personality)" & like blade we need you to be a fighting machine was thus sort of conflated lol. but maybe they're a cyborg like i think it happens a lot anyways

[itstimeforstarwars]

The struggle about posting stories that I KNOW are going to be zero-note wonders is that I have to finish them before I post them. I have to rely on myself to enjoy them enough to finish them, both because I will not be getting feedback from readers saying 'wow I'm so excited about this!!' but also my brain will interpret a lack of positive attention as people hating it instead of as a reasonable lack of interest due to writing about unpopular characters or writing in a dead fandom. This is one of the fun tricks you learn when you've been writing for over a decade.

[fastfists]

Just putting this here for anyone new to this blog, I try not to ignore partners or such...but sometimes my brain latches on to specific things it wants to answer or such, that and I can be a bit slow to respond to things. This doesn't mean however I do not wish to write with you...I just am like a snail in molasses caught in a tar pit type slow. You are always and I mean always welcome to send in asks or respond to open post or even just tag me in shit. I love that. I wanna write with you all so much. Love you guys ;3