#thinking back even further to 2020 d4 was already there actually π around the same time i started being more active there
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you'd never expect the amount of pain attached to a single silly little fandom but here we are
#delete later#d4 was the fandom i stuck with for the hell that was 2022-2023 (and even a bit of early 2024) and genuinely .#i love the game and i still have fond memories about it but genuinely the pain of everything that happened to me during that time#is so deeply entwined with this game that even just thinking about this stupid game dredges up so many unpleasant#feelings in my heart it's not even funny anymore. it's not keeping me from playing it or enjoying the new content whatsoever#but at the same time it just. Hurts. it's ridiculous. i've talked about this a million times on my old account and even more#in unpublished drafts here but it's still there. i'm trying to make more good memories to fill the void that that time left in me but it's#so . there were only a handful of good things that happened back then. i've lost so much time rotting in bed and it'll take even more#to fill the void that losing the people and things that i loved left . this is all part of getting older i know but it genuinely hurts#thinking back even further to 2020 d4 was already there actually π around the same time i started being more active there#literally everything in my life was going downhill lol. i don't know how to put this to rest (i actually do but .)#i think i'm just tired but this keeps nagging at the back of my mind and it really isn't even funny anymore#i'm so sorry to my new mutuals i think only like 3 people know what all of this insanity is about π#i know how to put this to rest but i really don't think you guys are going to forgive me for this one π
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