#but I'm still like... why though?
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Anyone else just not feeling like a real person much lately?
#'lately' he says#as if he's not been feeling this way for the last 28 years#idk man#maybe it's bc I'm getting older and so are the people i hang/chat with#but it feels like everyone else has a real life and real interests and experiences and things to say#and I'm some kind of hollow scarecrow person just full of memory loss and sadness#i feel very stupid and very boring#which i know is too harsh. and i know i should be kinder to myself bc life and covid and shit can't have helped the brain situation#and i should absolutely believe my friends when they say they wanna hang with me bc it's mean not to take them at their word#but I'm still like... why though?#genuinely what's the appeal of being around me. my head is empty i have nothing to add and I'm not interesting or that funny#it's been creeping up on me. this feeling like i just genuinely have nothing to offer.#i don't even know who i am#except for a person who like. lives vicariously through fictional characters experiencing feelings I've never had cause to feel#i can relate to emotions SO vividly except i myself haven't even felt the half of them#i just sort of quietly exist somewhere on the spectrum between content and discontent#with occasional drops into the despair zone#and even if the stuff i think is keeping me here went away tomorrow. like if mum stopped being an issue and i was free#like... what would i even do?#i don't even know how to want something#anyway. this has been morning mental breakdowns with newt#I'm going to go make some made up guys live the life i haven't now#mr. bees speaks#negative
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buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(the origin of halloween huh) (oooh)#why yes i did wake up way too early to watch the stream and will have no memory of drawing this later#anyway THE MAGIC BOOK IS BACK TO EAT US ONCE AGAIN!!!!#this does make things make a lot more sense if it doesn't have to. y'know. actually take place in the established world#like how jack and sally are apparently just gonna be THERE as themselves WHY NOT#i'm certainly not complaining mind you#scully looks like he's gonna be super adorable and i love him already#spooky scary skeleman who just goes :O a lot and is excited for halloween#he seems like he might actually be more of a fusion of jack and sally? or maybe i'm just reading too much into it#still getting jazzy vibes off of him though. is not scully j graves an incredible jazz musician name.#does this open up the possibility that the last time we went into the book there was a sexy anime boy stitch just offscreen the whole time#...maybe some things are best left uncontemplated#god everyone in this event looks fantastic i'm so glad i saved up some keys after all#a little sad that there's no lilia but you know what the fact that a halloweentown malleus exists is still pretty dang good#and sebek's hat is SO tall#the biggest hat for the loudest boy#i hope oogie is here too i need him and jamil to meet#i need jamil to be faced with a guy who's just a bunch of bugs standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat#i am not coherent right now i just needed to get this out before i go pass out again
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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Why are you running?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jin zixuan#The ship between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli is yuri. To me.#That whole tearful public confession? The way he immediately runs off? Yuriful.#Everyone going 'oh my god what' and 'hey why are you running off???' makes this chaotic scene even funnier.#He's going to just hide behind a tree a few meters away. They can still see his little hat poking out as he cries.#If I was JYL I would have started biting someone.#What do you *mean* the guy you once had feelings for but treated you poorly now says he likes you? What do you do with that information?#Is it character development? Is it worth letting your heart open up again? Is it a mistake to be vulnerable like that?#Not enough credit is given to the internal torment of shijie.#It really does feel like your world is spinning around when someone you did not expect to confess *does*.#This guy has a LOT to make up for though. I wouldn't take him back but I'm also too rational for my own good at times.
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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❤️🖤🩷
Wuthering Waves has taken over all of my free time recently, so here's a sketch of Scar!Ren I originally shared in da 14DWY Discord!!
#14 days with you#to be tagged later#Sometimes a team is just Sephiroth; some random flower girl; and a dragoon from FFXIV#Like....... Look me in my eyes and tell me that one of Jiyan's abilities isn't just stardiver /silly#Anyways!! Sharing dis on my main only because it's just a sketch and doesn't feel ''official'' enough for da 14DWY blog#If I come back to this piece + retouch/put more effort into it maybe I'll reupload it there instead#But ya!! Any inconsistencies in Scar's outfit is because I was too busy staring at Taoqi <3#There was also absolutely no rhyme or reason as to why I drew Ren as Scar specifically too—#—Other than the fact that he WOULD rock da onigiri strip (RIP T_T) /ij /silly#Plus I was going to draw [REDACTED] as (WUWA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!) Geshu but?? Babes I don't think the timeline works out??#I really saw the marks in the same spot and was like “oh!! they're the same person :3” LIKE GIRL NO?? This is what happens when you skip cs#Geshu is still my number 1 next to Taoqi though (in terms of design) <3 I have a type teehee#Mayhaps I will draw [REDACTED] after all...... (It's currently 3pm and I'm nowhere near my tablet)#Also also!! A treat for those who've read this far: Day 3.5 will be made public very soon!! It's pride month n I wanna celebrate—#—With everyone's fave demi/pansexual enby (who sometimes does a bit of stalking) (as a treat) (he's a yandere)#Violet's birthday is also June 10!! Early birthday gift!! Yippeee!!#Ok I'll shuddup now <3
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The Ryoko Kui interview's reception is such a disaster over a pretty normal (yet still flawed) interview between a non-Japanese fan and Japanese artistic. This is discourse for discourse's sake, and it's no surprise that almost every Twitter user I've looked at who's using this interview to parade Kui around as a goated mangaka standing strong against Western ideology is anti-trans.
Like, I do think the interview was kinda wonky with its focus on fandom culture, which Kui clearly didn't have much interest in. But sometimes that happens. Sometimes interactions between two people, especially a fan and a creator, two people who view and interact with a piece of media in completely opposite perspectives, don't click. Does this really need to get blown up into a "West vs. East culture war" issue.
Anyways, Kui saying "I don't consider my audience's interpretations when writing. I leave it to their imaginations, but I have my own read on things too" is the healthiest, most normal thing an artist/writer who wants a non-parasocial audience could say. Artists and writers use this line all the time. If Kui didn't enjoy autistic Laius or Farcille headcanons, she would have probably voiced/signalled her discomfort, like she did on the topic of Senshi fanservice. Overall, Kui handled the interview really well. Props to her to sticking to her guns and keeping a healthy disconnect from the fandom. While I think the interviewer could've/should've been more tactful and restrained, the flaws in their questions is not a symptom of the woke mind virus trying to wriggle its way into the pure Japanese psyche. It's the sign of an over-eager fan who sees a piece of fiction differently than its creator.
#personal#delete later#this isn't even worth talking about in depth#but it's crazy that we're rehashing the “artist intent vs fan interpretation” crap again.#read stuart hall's encoding/decoding.#is it so terrible that laius reads to nd people as autistic even though the writer wasn't thinking about it#is that really something to criticize#also you may think the last sentence is me exaggerating but that's literally what the twt discourse is about#anyways i feel bad for the interviewer who's getting harassed over this#i'm seeing every side of discourse be super uncharitable toward them because it's funnier to make them sound outta touch and confrontationa#like. i'm seeing posts from cool people making the interviewer look like they asked “why did you make laius autistic??”#when the actual text of the interview goes “a lot of nd people interpreted laius as autistic. did you have that in mind when writing him?”#and obviously i think a lot of fandom people upset about this are weird too. joking that kui. a real person. is probably autistic is weird#but who am i more willing to criticize. the overeager parasocial fans taking things a too far and making things kinda weird#or the “kill the woke mind virus” weeabo/otaku terfs who still use the r-slur against queer/nd teen anime fans
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i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once
#in conclusion. alloromantics stfu up about love challenge#hate using the term platonic so much actually. cause even if it has a definition that is what it Should mean#you know that people don't actually think about it that way.#you say 'platonic' and you might Mean an all-encompassing love. but how it's interpreted is shorthand for 'just friends'#so like. the word platonic isn't Really for me is it :|#platonic gets presented like a consolation prize for aro people no matter where you turn#but fundamentally rn it comes from a concept of platonic and romantic as the two kinds of love#where platonic is for family and friends and nothing More.#and romantic is for the relationships that overhaul all else#so 'aros can still feel platonic love!' ok. what if it's not platonic as you know it though.#'oh then it's romantic!' k but it's not romantic either. will your framework explode if i say that#'aros can still feel platonic love!' why do you say that like it's a second-best option and expect me to identify with it...#again. platonic might Actually mean smth i experience. but it won't be Heard that way. do you get what i'm saying#i don't experience 'platonic blurring into romantic' cause i will never feel romantic love actually. those lines are still blurring though#ummmmm in conclusion. killing and biting#aromantic#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#talking
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When ppl will create a "curvy" girl character and get pretty much the whole body's proportions right, obviously they're putting emphasis on bust/hips but it seems like it's being executed well--- except that they completely, fully, and deliberately, skip the stomach entirely. Just nothin there. Not even a whisper. I'm like. Just sack up, make it make sense and be honest with yourself by making it official and say it's canon that they got a tummy tuck. You cowardly ass, yellow bellied, wet brained, upside-down dog mouthed dirty bitch.
#it'll look so uncanny bc it'll be like oh this more or less looks like it could be a body type I've seen on a real pers--- oh wait#you TOTALLY flattened the stomach for like no goddamn reason and you still want points for making her curvy. pass.#if ppl clown on this post I will not hesitate to turn off rbs and call a bomb threat to your house#sergle.txt#do you know what I mean though. like actually#you want EVERY aspect of a body type that does in fact. exist. very commonly actually. in the proportions you want#you want it all but you are so allergic to ANY substance on the stomach. so what now.#anything but the stomach. literally impossible to draw apparently#I'll be like ah maybe it's obscured with the clothing or pose but I see other art and I'm like oh no nvm it's on purpy.#''why does it have to be a plausible body type'' why put in any effort at all. why draw. why depict women ever. why wake up in the morning#nut up or shut up.
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#this one is very easy to get strange angles with. because it's just got so many weird shapes on it#porygon#bald#even the original front-facing angle was strange and you could barely tell it's front-facing#hell‚ this angle you can at least tell what it's supposed to be#if you remember the realpokemon post. you remember#this thing also got like banned from the anime or some shit because of an episode that featured it giving kids seizures#fucking did i almost just type “seasures”?? hello?? where am i#even though it was pikachu who initiated the explosion that caused the seizures. and iirc it wasn't even that many seizures#it was like the galaxy note7. where only like 20 or so phones actually exploded but it still got banned from planes#or maybe i'm remembering Every tidbit of information here incorrectly!#y'see folks. this is why i am not a reliable source of information#because i will not be fact checking any of this and instead i'll end off the post with “but idk lol”#edit: it was a lot of seizures. and yes this justifies taking the episode off the air but i don’t feel like the pokémon itself#deserves to be banned from the anime is my point. plenty of folks still like this pokémon#hmm. i wonder if i maybe shouldn’t be spreading middle school rumors on the middle school rumors website
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And errr whatever this guy is
#I want to make a lot of things. but making a lot of things takes a lot of work and a lot of time#I love feeling pressured by time !!#I'm young. so I shouldn't feel that way. but time has literally passed by so fast I still feel like I'm 11#that's was years ago bro. I need to remmeber I'm growing up#idk school makes me really tired#I just get so exhausted. even just at the thought of it#school takes away half my days. makes me feel like I have less time#that's why I end up staying awake at night. but I'm tired I don't wanna do that :(#well erm my bday was pretty nice though so yeah it's probably fine#killer sans#horror sans#sans au#utmv#undertale au#i wanna be cool I think to myself#ms paint
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innocently logging in to look at the Twst schedule for May like
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#tsumsted wonderland#i-is that enough spoiler tags#anyway twst just absolutely obliterating me with the schedule again#i saw the story completion campaign ended in june and was like 'oh okay that'll be when we get the next part' NOPE HA HA#oh my god rook. oh my god savana rook is real.#w...why is this a story card. hey twst wHY IS THIS A STORY CARD --#is rook dreaming of still being a rowdy boy or#and why is he...(squints) why is he in a pomefiore bedroom#never mind i'm actually terrified of this card now#god. the STETSON. i'm crying.#he really is just applejack huh#also vil i don't know what your problem was this man's mane is LUSCIOUS#and what's this? it's twst following up that first punch with the right hook of EVEN MORE of the best and silliest event#malleus is going to be in the middle of an angsty flashback while dangling us over a pit of spikes or something#and then we're going to cut directly to him having a charming little tea party with a small plush version of himself#oh twst your sense of pacing remains exquisitely incomprehensible#(no i love this though)
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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The basegame wedding dress has a pregnancy morph??
#I can never be positive if something in my game is like. a third-party launcher addition#but this is so funny and I had such a strong hunch#because rushing to have your Sim get married before they give birth is such a thing so many players would do!!#and it would be so funny to pay attention to that detail by having the wedding dress show the bump!!!!#all your sim's wedding photos very obviously giving away the reason for the rushed date HAHA#the dress with the pendant at the back that everyone default replaces off (the one with the knife texture) also has a preg morph#which I know because it's the one your Sims get forced into if they attend a wedding#but it's kind of unusual because pregnant Sims don't have the opportunity to change into formal wear?#like pregnant Sims get new undies pyjamas and swimwear in addition to their maternity outfit#and if you direct a pregnant Sim to change into one of them then it changes them into the appropriate maternity fit instead of their usual#but you can't direct them to change into formal and if you use a hacked option like the shop any-wear rack it uses their usual non morph fi#so it has to be something external like a wedding that triggers them to change into formal. and I have no idea why#does this mean there's a BG suit with a preg morph for men??#or did maxis not think that pregnant male Sims would be quite so desperate to get married#anyway I'm probably the last person to know about this LMAO and I'm sure no one cares bc everyone uses wear-anything mods#but I'm a scrub who still prefers to use the default maternity meshes so this is yuge to me#also if you've never seen this dress b4: in the early game all Sims getting married under an arch used to be forced into the same outfits#actually I can't remember if the men got forced into the same suit or if they just used their regular formal#because most BG formal outfits for men were mostly wedding-appropriate#but at any rate. all women wore the same wedding dress. and it was this .... beauty#and I don't remember with which EP it changed but probably pretty early on they just let Sims use their regular formal wear for weddings#so you could pick their wedding dress yourself#but this dress remained hidden by default (I think?) so ironically it meant you COULDN'T use the wedding dress even if you wanted to#also this is completely off topic but you would also go away for your honeymoon#which meant the Sims getting married would literally get driven away in a limousine and stay off-world for a while#it was kind of cute because it really was like they took a vacation from the player too. got up to their own mischief away from your contro#then with bon voyage they introduced ACTUAL vacations and they turned honeymoons into an actual game mechanic#but again these offworld honeymoons are no longer a possibility#kind of like teens 'going out' with permission got replaced by going out on actual outings/dates even though it was a cute event#wow this note section is long and irrelevant. anyway enjoy picking up your wedding dress from a store called 'It's Not Too Late'
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Do you know what it is you truly seek?
#Star Wars#Ahsoka#Thrawn#like for real though I don't know why the show is pushing this so hard I assume it's an anakin hang up#and i'm sure people will say it's cause he can unite the empire so that makes him a threat that requires protagonist focus#there are still a lot of episodes left so maybe they will touch on it#but them introducing the sabine and ahsoka dynamic when there was no precedent for it in rebels#makes it seem like they are making this up as they go along#if they make it about thrawn's ties to vader i demand an alliances adaptation
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in general trying to write a fully canon-compliant wol, as i conceive it, is an interesting project because the wol's life involves such a staggering amount of direct interpersonal violence it is almost beyond comprehension. the only people in the real world who did anything comparable are like, certain executioners for totalitarian states, and that's obviously a very different form of violence.
and like obviously combat in FFXIV should not in any way be taken as a 1:1 with real world violence, not least because the game repeatedly points to the idea that combat can in some sense be a joyous and glorious form of personal expression (as with ravana, susano, zenos, etc.), which doesn't really square with the reality of doing violence. but to even begin to conceive of a character who's capable of doing what the WoL does from ARR on and trying to take it somewhat seriously means basically making an extremely detached killing machine, who's fine using those skills for any rando willing to call the hit they're hiring you for a "quest".
it ends up dovetailing really nicely with the games as written, though; you start ARR being like "i am an instrument of violence directed by others :)" and not talking much or ever registering your own thoughts on anything, because who cares? you're a violence-doing machine. and then one of your friends gets mind-controlled and you gotta fight a might-makes-right fascist and you meet multiple people who think you personally are a really cool person with inherent value in their own right just by being a person and it's like, hm. maybe there are other ways to live. and that parallels really nicely with DRK in HW, and then you and alphinaud deciding that you are tired of endless sacrifices in the name of progress and you are going to save estinien, and then the WoL getting to walk into stormblood having really consciously chosen this fight rather than letting someone else choose for them.
obviously there are a lot of stories you can tell with your WoL but to me this is a big part of why my approach to it necessarily revolves primarily around violence and regret. you spend the core game and two expansions becoming a terrible angel of death and then get teleported to another world where you learn that some people literally consider you a psychopomp who escorts the dead to their final rests. then in the next expansion you meet someone who was unfortunate enough to be on the other end of things during your implacable killing machine days. THEN you accidentally cause the flower that symbolizes grief to be invented. the wol's whole life is haunted by overwhelming grief (mostly that of other people) and terrible violence (mostly their own).
#wolund is a veteran of a full garlean conscription tour for exactly this reason#i was like how do you even make a guy who's this thoroughly dehumanized and capable of doing violence at the drop of a hat#and luckily ffxiv said have we got the horrifying fascist regime for you#lions and lily flowers#shadowbringers spoilers#endwalker spoilers#dawntrail spoilers#this is why i maintain the dawntrail expansion class should have been a healer#though i know that will never happen#but come on! give meteor a break from doing violence!#the funniest part is when zenos comes in and is like hey man maybe doing violence can be a thing that is so fun and so cool#and it turns out it CAN BE if you're doing it at the edge of reality and the only people who might die totally signed on for that#then you wake up back on the ragnarok and it turns out nope violence is still bad actually#to the point where your wol doesn't even really pretend to find the arcadion maybe cool#and is pretty explicitly like i'm going to free these souls from your nightmare of unending combat actually thanks so much#meta: durai report#wol: zodiac brave story#warrior of light ffxiv
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