#but I'm open to being wrong
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heyclickadee · 2 years ago
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Tech’s Alive, Part 7: Potential Visual Symbolism (cw warning for more discussions of character death)
Okay, so, several things before I start off. One, this isn’t really anything new. This is just about the blaster hole in the train car window and the “wings” that seem to appear in the clouds as Tech falls. Pretty much everyone’s pointed out the second of those things already (including me, in a post I wrote a couple of days after “Plan 99″ aired, when I really was still in denial and grasping at anything I could to prove to myself that Tech was alive), and I’m pretty sure I saw someone post about the first one, too, but I haven’t been able to find it. But these two things do a kind of neat thing if you take them together, so I figured I may as well write another one of these.
Second, I actually really want to write a post about foreshadowing and all the times Tech was connected to survival or got into a deadly situation and inexplicably got out of it alive this season, but I sort of want to do a full season two watch-through before writing it. Unfortunately, I’m kind of a filthy completionist and can’t just start with season two, and I just barely restarted season one, so it’s going to be a hot minute before I get to it.
And three, I guess--this is kind of me going back to standing in front of a conspiracy board and gesturing at it with a tin foil hat in hand. 
But! Anyway! 
In the moment where Tech falls, we get not one, but two little pieces of potential visual symbolism which may indicate Tech’s survival. The first of these is, of course, the part in the clouds on either side of Tech, which resembles nothing so much as a pair of black wings jutting out from his shoulders. 
Now, this is a visual motif connected to making life out of death, survival, and freedom that was introduced back in “The Outpost” with the ice vulture and Crosshair, but I’m not sure it doesn’t apply to Tech, too. Tech, like Crosshair, is repeatedly connected to the idea of survival over the course of the season. I’ve been mulling over a whole post about this, but this season sees the two of them undergo parallel (still ongoing) arcs in which they have to reevaluate their own self-image as soldiers, and both of them, in the moments they’re each linked to the ice vulture imagery, ends up making a definitive, sacrificial choice very likely to get them killed, for the sake of someone else. For Crosshair, that’s the choice to refuse to go along with the Empire and kill Nolan as vengeance for Mayday; for Tech, that’s shooting the connection on the rail car and allowing himself to fall so that the others could get away. Neither of them completely expects to walk away from those choices. The difference in the end result (so far) is that we’ve already seen that Crosshair survived, even if surviving is brutal at the moment. We’re sort of just waiting to see that with Tech. 
Furthermore, even though Crosshair is definitely THE ice vulture--I’m not going to argue that point--I’m going to come back to Mayday’s use of the plural when he talks about them: “Vicious creatures, but you have to admire ‘em. They find a way to survive.”  
Mayday’s use of the plural here is actually kind of striking, because I think we only ever see one ice vulture over the course of that entire episode. It’s a large, solitary creature, covering a wide territory, and it could be the same one Mayday’s seen the entire time he was stationed at Barton-5. But the use of the plural (and the way that things work) means that there are others elsewhere, so that even though Crosshair is the character most clearly connected to them and especially to the one we actually see on screen, Tech could potentially be another one. 
Because here’s the other thing; Crosshair and Tech don’t just have parallel arcs. They’re actually a lot alike, in a lot of ways. They’re both brilliant, calculating, ruthless in the sense that they can both see the most direct way to get something done, whether it’s moral (usually Crosshair) or safe (usually Tech); they can both come across to people who don’t know them well as standoffish or even cold, but they both love very deeply and affectionately, in their own ways, and would give anything for the people they love, whatever the cost to themselves; they’re both incredibly sarcastic and refuse to sugarcoat things; and they both deal with everything very privately. They’re not exactly the same, of course. Tech is a chatterbox (a lot of the time) while Crosshair hardly ever speaks, and Crosshair spends every second on screen EMOTING EVERYWHERE ALL the TIME, while Tech’s facial expressions are much subtler. Everything Crosshair knows has made him cynical and bitter, while everything Tech knows has made him curious and kind. And, of course, Crosshair is incredibly pragmatic and usually not thinking about the morality of any given situation; Tech is pragmatic as well, but usually refuses to set morality aside. (And that’s all honestly way oversimplifying it BUT this is getting a little long.) But they are enough alike that I think the ice vulture connection can apply to Tech, too(1), and that the apparent visual connection in this moment in “Plan 99″ isn’t totally off base. Meaning that the, “They find a way to survive,” bit could and probably does apply to him(2). 
The second bit of visual symbolism in this scene is actually the blaster hole that Tech himself put through the window of the train car when he shot the connection hinge. If, say, the S&P department told the Bad Batch production team that they absolutely couldn’t show Tech’s body on screen or use any equivalents, like a crushed helmet or a body bag, or if the production team really did just want to use the goggles instead of anything more definitive, a really clean visual way they could have solidified Tech’s death would have been to have that blaster hole pass over Tech, either over his head or his chest, and then stay centered on him as he fell. It would be a sort of visual shorthand saying that Tech’s shot--the shot that cut the connection hinge--would also ultimately be the shot that killed him, or lead to his death at the very least. And we do actually see the blaster hole in the shot where Tech falls. It comes fairly close to him, but 
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it just barely grazes his left hand. Not over his head, not centered over his chest as he’s falling, just momentarily passing the end of a limb(3).  (Aaaaaand the tin foil hat really starts to come out).
Now, not every single thing we see on screen is deliberate. Sometimes there are animation mistakes, and there are certainly concessions to budget. But the animation mistakes we tend to see are usually of a certain kind. Take, for example, Echo’s kama randomly appearing and disappearing from shot to shot in “Cornered,” or Hunter’s scarf doing the same during either “Pabu” or “Tipping Point.” Usually what’s happened there is either someone keying or turning the visibility of that piece of geometry off while they’re animating the character, and then forgetting to turn it back on again, and no one catching it until after the shot gets back from render. And there are rendering and compositing errors; I think there’s one shot from season one where you can actually see Tech’s goggles through his head, which was probably either a problem with render layers in maya or later on in compositing. And errors like that are usually not enough of a reason to re-render a scene. Rendering is expensive in terms of computer power and takes a good long while, especially if you’re rendering using arnold (which I think Lucasfilm Animation does--they don’t use redshift, as far as I know, but I could be totally wrong). 
Stuff like this, however--where Tech is in this shot in relation to everything else--is usually more about staging and layout, something that’s usually decided back in the storyboard phase and solidified during animatics. And given just how much happens in the background of this show, the staging on The Bad Batch is usually pretty deliberate. It doesn’t mean that the blaster hole missing Tech is 100% on purpose, but it does make it far more likely that it is. Same goes for the black wings in the clouds. 
Now, of course, even if the staging is deliberate, which I think it is, that doesn’t necessarily mean that either of these visual cues are meant to symbolize anything. I’m mostly just saying that they could and that that’s a possible way to read the scene. Taken together, these two visual cues could potentially be signaling that Tech will ultimately find a way to survive (like the ice vulture), so even though he might come very close to death, and may even brush it for a moment, it's going to pass him by (like the blaster hole).
1: Okay, you know what? It’s all of them. Crosshair’s THE ice vulture, but the “Vicious creatures, but you have to admire ‘em,” is all of them. After seeing what they can do when they’re not holding back in “The Summit,” “vicious creatures” absolutely applies to all of them, as far as I’m concerned.  
2: Also, I’m sorry, but the silhouette of the ice vulture looks like the Marauder and when I think of the Marauder, I think of the whole batch, sure, but I especially think of Tech.  
3: More fodder for the “Tech comes back, but definitely not unscathed” theories? Maybe. 
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divorcedfiddleford · 10 months ago
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leave the door ajar
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not enough discussion about the gavins' complicated relationship with feminine-coded/beauty products, i don't think.
#for klavier because it's not as direct it's about how we never see him actually wearing lipstick? even though apollo literally attends#a concert of his which is where you'd most expect him to wear makeup. but apparently he just doesnt. or at least not in public#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#i feel like there are several ways you can read into it. the misogyny/toxic masculinity one is really obvious clearly with kristoph's#singling out of men specifically and klavier's (probably accidental?) condescending manner of calling women 'fraulein' plus his general#mildly patronising attitude towards many of the women in the game (also probably unintentional)#(i think he's trying to be charming and it's coming off wrong to some of them. like ema. and me.)#but i feel like there's also maybe an element of... inherent perfecfionism to it? like both of these products are conventionally beautifyin#products and kristoph while he is open to showing people he uses nail polish specifically chooses one that's clear and missable unless you#see him apply it. he also feels the need to justify his use of it and specifically spell it out as something he chooses to do rather than#needs to do even though duh. that should be obvious.#idk there's just something about his seeming need to take control of that narrative that i find interesting. his need to spin it into a#'there's nothing wrong with my nails but I had the foresight to see that even the smallest parts of my appearance should be kept immaculate#and it's a choice i'm making to refine an already adequate part of my personage /not/ to cover some unsightly defect.' the need to emphasis#that specifically is so. hm. and with klavier i could see it being a case of him liking makeup liking the pops of colour yet being unwillin#to admit to it because he's afraid that other people might see it as him being dissatisfied with his own appearance regardless of if he is#or isn't. or even just perceiving colourful makeup as being unseemly because it's so overt and unnatural.#like i can see this as them both viewing 'real' beauty to be that which is inherent to a person and seemingly effortless#thus somehow negating the beauty which one achieves through cosmetics or other external means.#and if you want to use external means to achieve beauty or neatness or whatever then your only valid options are those which blend into you#natural state. like clear nail polish. or really awful spray tan.#i feel like klavier's less confined by these ideas (if they hold merit at all) considering he actually owns coloured lipstick and he wears#jewellery (admittedly quite 'masculine' jewellery no gems or pearls or anything like that but jewellery nonetheless) but i think it just#makes it more interesting that he doesnt seem quite able to cross the line anyway. like it's that ingrained into his system.#anyway that's all i've got. you guys should tell me what you think too#annotations
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dootznbootz · 2 months ago
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Fascinating how Polites, the character who is the personification of Odysseus' optimism and is only in 5 songs, is more grieved and appreciated than Eurylochus, a character who is his own person and is in 11 songs.
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ultrainfinitepit · 5 months ago
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thessaralka · 1 month ago
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seeing people hate on Solas for being ethically inconsistent like??? yes??? that's the whole tragedy of his character. he literally cannot be ethically consistent in the world state HE CREATED. that's why he's so damn sad. it's impossible for him to live with good conscience in a broken world that is a byproduct of his error. the veil put the world on mute and the veil is deteriorating. and he's supposed to just let it come down on it's own (causing certain mass destruction)??? or he could pull it down himself in his own way (with at least a slightly larger chance that something good might come of it in the future), something he at least has control over.
the plotlines of each game have reinforced the idea that the veil is certainly deteriorating.
solas's spell cannot hold back the fade forever. he fucked up. he either has to sit back and watch the world burn because of his error (again), or he has to somehow try to make things somewhat right. ethically inconsistent? it's literally the train problem. kill one person to save five, or kill five people to save one? no one can be perfectly ethically consistent when they have no ethical choices left. solas's choice to bring down the veil aligns perfectly with his character when you consider that he has more access to information than we do about what exactly he is doing. he's not telling us the whole truth. he's not going to sit back and let things happen naturally, he's going to do what he can to mitigate the damage and make it better (which is ethically consistent with his character).
just like he chastises us for siding with the grey wardens or drinking from the well - he does so because he knows more about the elven gods and the nature of the blight than we do, not because he's a bitter hypocritical douche who hates fun. solas has made so many mistakes that he destroyed his own people, in his mind the only way to right that is to correct his mistake as best he can, even if it causes mass destruction, because the alternative in his mind is certain doom. the veil is an unnatural mage-made construct. it was never meant to be there in the first place and was never meant to be permanent.
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bonefall · 5 months ago
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I understand being upset by the moonpaw dog post but i dont think talking about some random teen publicly (on a pretty big fandom blog) as opposed to like, dming them about it, is a very nice thing to do? Would recommend keeping that kinda gossip in dms going forward personally.
??????? "That kinda gossip???"
Saying that it's fucked up that a publicly posted incest joke about how deformed she should look went to the top of the Warrior Cats and Moonpaw tags, is gossip???
TRENDING TAGS?? GOSSIP?
I'm not talking about "some random teen," I have not even dropped a username and been VERY clear I don't want harassment of anyone. During this discussion about wider ableism against Moonpaw, I've directly answered two anons about the contents of a post that was/IS extremely popular to the tune of nearly a thousand notes.
One of those two asks was an anon who only stumbled in to say that the post was funny in a display of SHOCKING tonedeafness, while I was talking about how shitty it is to compare people who are the products of incest to unethical dog breeds, especially in the context of WC. The other was an actual XX/XY chimera who expressed that the extremely popular post hurt their feelings, and when they tried to express discomfort to someone, got told they "probably killed their twin in the womb."
It's not just one rando weenie little blog the minute half of the Tumblr space is openly laughing at a joke about deformed incest kids and hoping Moonpaw dies because she's so "gross." Not nice?? Your feelings are hurt? OTHER people's feelings were ALREADY hurt.
NOTHING about this was "nice" to begin with!
Difference is, when YOU cry me a river, you can build me a bridge, and get right the fuck over it. A person who's the product of incest cries and has to go right back to every shitty banjo-hunchback-hapsburg joke they've heard before, just feeling more unsafe about a space that PRETENDS to care about the abuse they experienced. If you feel guilty about that, maybe you should!
If you were under the impression I was ever "nice" about bigotry, you were mistaken. I don't appreciate calls for ME to be more polite when I'm at a trend of fandom ableism and calling it fucked up. I've named NO names. Sounds like what you ACTUALLY want is for people like me who have a platform to shut up.
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fiepige · 1 year ago
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Miguel and Hobie making their entrances (I love that they both get a slow-motion reaction shot from another spider-person as they enter)
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teotheratking · 3 months ago
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Y'all aren't canibalistic enough, I need Harry to eat Jean. What then?
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statementlou · 1 month ago
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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cinnamonsikwate · 9 months ago
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"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White
#dungeon meshi#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing#shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy#i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society#pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred#it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms#shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character#his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point#they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms#shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely#anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills#to hash things out before they got too bad#re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her#she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self#alas not meant to be#i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me#i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him#marcille famously racist 😭#characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged#practically everyone is casually racist at some point#anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery#he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭#calemonsito notes#edit: upon further reflection i take back what i said about toshiro mpdg-ing falin!#i'm sorry toshiro 😭
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princessamericachavez · 2 years ago
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like yes yes eddie needs to choose and buck needs to be chosen but also 
Eddie needs to get over the very big trauma of losing his wife. Last time he dated someone he had literal panic attacks at the thought of her being mistaken for Chris’s mother and as much as we saw him work through in therapy we never?? really?? talked?? about?? that?? So, yeah, Eddie needs to realize that he’s at a point where he’s ready to risk his heart and give love a second chance 
(and maybe realize he already did becase there already is a partner in his life who gets consistently confused for Chris’s guardian and it feels natural to him?? but he still needs to realize he’s ready for love)
And Buck needs to be ready to be in a relationship where he’s loved for who he is, where he doesn’t bend and twist to fit someone else’s expectations. And for that Buck needed to die, and needed to come back, and now he needs to process that trauma and steady himself. 
(and Buck loves so quickly, so openly, so loudly, and he gives so much of himself and he wants to be loved that way, and maybe he’ll realize that he already?? is?? loved?? but he needs to let himself accept it)
so basically, it’s not only a matter of choice... eddie needs to be ready to love and buck needs to accept that he is loved if they are ever going to find each other properly together
and that, my funny little friends, is the point of their arcs were we are at right now
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oddberryshortcake · 10 months ago
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I think the Knight of Dawn being "a coward who is unable to stand up for what is right and does as he's ordered to" and "someone who cares deeply about his family and did everything he could so that Silver could live a happy and normal life in the future" are two statements that can coexist.
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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 2 months ago
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Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet
Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)
Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked
#these just sum up my personal takes at the years in question and also what i'm seeing on tumblr/other social media#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#and i actually have a lot more thoughts to share on this series#specifically relating to the cultural impact#there is SO much about the show that goes unappreciated in hindsight because of how public perception of it has soured#and i totally fell into this as well--i still regularly rewatch hbomberguy's video absolutely dismantling the series and he isn't wrong!!#but what i'm saying is that i think it's easy for us to look at a piece of media (especially one so massively popular) like sherlock...#with very black-and-white lenses. it wouldn't have become so popular if there wasn't something inherent in it that resonated with people#and that's being buried (and i totally forgot it) because 'sherlock is cringe and problematic. can't believe i liked that'#which again it IS full of issues and those are well-documented as they should be. future portrayals should not repeat those mistakes#BUT being able to impact so many people is a merit in itself. and that's only possible because of other genuinely good things about the show#yes the way they handled the relationship between john and sherlock was riddled with problems YES it was often queerbaiting#AND the way they portrayed that relationship had a deep effect on me. i saw a lot of myself in sherlock and the complex way he loved john#the nuanced feelings he had about john's marriage to mary. the part (in s4!) where john calls him inhuman for not feeling romantic love#there was genuine intention and care put into some parts of this show and it comes through in scenes like those. they impact people.#and because of this realization i'm going to (eventually) do a rewatch of the show. i'm much older and i want to see how i'll view it now#but i want to go into it--and i want everyone who engages with it still--to have an open mind and evaluate it for what it is#not what we expected it to be (secret episode anyone?) or what the cultural drift has turned it into (the tiktok of sherlock's mind palace)#but the messy problematic somewhat-heartfelt massively significant and ultimately meaningful piece of media it actually was#anyway that's my thoughts would love to hear y'all's perspectives#funny how after all this time making a sherlock post still feels like i'm poking a bees' nest lol please be kind!#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags
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shithowdy · 2 months ago
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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deoidesign · 6 months ago
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Happy EDS awareness month!
I'm a webcomic artist with EDS. be aware.
EDS affects many parts of my life. I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and I need to use a cane! I often find myself ruminating on themes of chronic illness in my work, whether or not I am intending to include them.
I already can't paint anymore, it hurts my hands too much... Anything that requires small details or precise motions will hurt me for days. I have a lot of grief around it. But working digitally allows me to still create!
I animate, I illustrate, I get to tell my stories. I have to go slow, take huge breaks (often against my will) and recover slowly. But, working in this space allows me the grace to do this.
So, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience with my audience, and say thank you for reading my work and supporting me! It means the world to me, and I hope maybe someone in my audience feels a little more seen through me sharing this. It causes me pain, but I love myself; and that includes my disability.
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