#but I’m not gonna say dog or fever dream

[im-literally-so-dun]

I hate to say it, but…. Palaye peaked with The Bastards

[vxiphoid]

SERENE SHENANIGANS

❨ summary ❩ twst › waking them up to tell them stories that don’t make sense

tags ✧ fluff, crack, savanaclaw boys, defo not proofread its like 7 am, cursing but nothing out of the ordinary, ooc(?), ruggie calls you a little shit like once (affectionate), jack is whipped for you

amanuensis’ message ⊹ I LITERALLY LOVE DOING THIS??? my friends hate me for it. but anyways hiii im back after like my month hiatus, how are thy sleeplings?😋 mb guys writers block has been really kicking my ass, i was spitting blanks on paper… i’m gonna hopefully post another pastry emporium soon for scarabia so stay tuned for that‼️

⌜ 300+ e/chara ⌟

♫ sunset boulevard - hohyun

twst masterlist

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

— “leona… pspsps….”

— he hums gruffly when his name was called the first time, only opening his eye thinking you called him a second time when it was really just noise that you would make to get the attention of a house cat. he instantly pins his ears back. how dare you. “hmm?”

— “so i took our snail for a walk and i had accidentally left my feet here to wash the dishes because the grass was blue.”

— huh? you could see him trying to process everything you just said as you explained, his lips parting and eyebrows furrowing. it took everything in you not to laugh. he does one of those blinks, the really delayed ones, one eye opens before the other…

— he’s half asleep too so the confusion is just adding up altogether. if chicken scratch wasn’t a writing term, this is literally it in words. its like the books back at home he picks up to read (derogatory) its, what, 4 am? dont do this to him😭

— you’ve never seen him so expressive💀 this definitely makes his eye and ear twitch at the same time. what type of fucked up fever dream is this?? its usually a blessing seeing you as the first thing he wakes up to, not when you wake him up with some bull strung up in a sentence with your beady eyes staring at him while he sleeps. he loves you, yes, but what does he even say to this…

— “what…”

— your forehead met with his chest as you struggled not to laugh at the uncharacteristic break in leona’s voice. how many cups of coffee did you drink? he asks you to repeat yourself even though it kinda a mind mush decision so you did and by the end of it, he looks absolutely restless.

— “that’s… yes. that’s great, herbivore. can we go to bed now?”

— you note that leona is surprisingly patient when half asleep

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

JACK HOWL

— deep sleeper. tug his ear. though he practically springs up before your hand makes contact, giving himself whiplash.

— “jack?”

— almost instantly relaxes when he realizes its you, tail wagging subtly☹️ “hi, baby. s’something wrong?”

— “hiii, do you remember a year ahead ago when i had to go to the dentist to get my spine fixed and the cats were barking at the flying dogs because the sky was in the water?”

— bro feels like he just had a stroke💀 he’s blinking rapidly, rubbing nose bridge as you explain. he really wants to understand, he does, but wtf did you just say??? it was the innocent “hi” before you unapologetically bashed his head in with the entire dictionary. its so ridiculous he couldn’t help but laugh.

— “jack, this is serious.” even as you told him that, your voice was not steady at all which made his shoulders shake violently in silent laughter.

— “im listening, i swear. tell me one more time?” yk his ass is not listening. he pulls you into his lap while his thumbs idly rubbed your sides, responding to your stories with “uh-huh” and “yeah?” with a lovesick smile on his face.

— eventually holds your face and starts pressing heart squeezing, fluffy kisses all over your face which truly made you more tired then you were. you honestly start forgetting what and where the story was going.

— jack only pauses his kissing attack to respond when you take a small break but even then he doesn’t pull away fully, he’s just speaking against your skin

— “—and the duck had my arm while i was taking it on a walk because gran tammy was in a flying shopping cart.”

— “oh wow. and then?”

— he’s listening but he’s not, mostly because he’s like two seconds away from dreamland and his brain isn’t registering half the shit you’re saying. he wants to see how many stories you can jumble up.

— “yeah, i think it’s bedtime for us…”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

RUGGIE BUCCHI

— omfg he wakes up like a mom. like yk how you would barely touch them and they would gasp like they were just given cpr?? he wakes up like that.

— and you’re just standing there awkwardly 👁️👁️

— takes a quick look around before looking at you. “what happened? is it time to wake up leona already?” you shake your head and ruggie flops back, an arm draped over his eyes. “you scared me… come, lay down with me?” he held his free arm out for you and you did take your place cozied up against his side. to your surprise, you did actually scare the living shit out of him from how fast his heart was racing.

— “ruggie, yk i just found out you’re related to turtles, right? and i had to take uncle bobby to the vet to get a dna test because the fish drowned in air.”

— slow roblox turn towards you but instead its his head as he cranes it down to stare at you. you can practically hear the gears in his head turning and you literally could not look at him or you’d blow your cover.🧍🏾

— “i’m sorry,, what the fuck??”

— he’s genuinely confused, asking you questions about your story while his brain tries to put together the pieces. each question he asks, the more its harder to speak in full sentences other than wheezes

— “what are you laughing at, ya little shit? explain this to me!”

— “i’m trying!”

— and you are😭 its like when you have to explain the family tree really slow bc you cant say, “my father’s girlfriend’s son” without him like ???? and you’re trying to explain it to him slowly, eventually forgetting what you said in the first place…

— “…and the fish drowned in air.”

— “yes.”

— “sweetheart, you still haven’t explained how i’m related to turtles—”

[anastasiabowe]

Mini Me

Summary: Mike having major baby fever..

Warning: probably won’t sound like Mike at ALL. Sex, p in v, swearing, impregnating (funny word), unsafe sex, fluff. MDNI

Mike can admit, you guys were NOT in the right financial situation to have a kid. Abby is enough already, but there was this deep want of a little baby wrapping its tiny hand around his much larger one. It having his face and your attitude.

This thought didn’t just come to him randomly, well it did, but it was a developing desire. The idea came to him back when he was working at the mall. A little boy that was too cute for his own good, waddled to him with tears welling in his eyes, crying for help to find his dad.

Mike at first was a bit unsure how to help, but when the little boy reached his small hand to grab his finger, Mike automatically felt this wave of protectiveness over the little boy.

Mike eventually found the little boy’s father, and reluctantly had to give him back, but that was the spark that lit the flame.

Mike had came home and saw you chasing Abby, yelling at her to stop running so she can eat her dinner.

Mike sighed, his dream of a mini him wasn’t going to happen if they kept living like this.

So! For a couple of months, he set aside money, looked for a new job, and was now finally confident enough to spring up this idea to you.

You both were currently making out in his room, both high off of the want of each others gifts you both bring each and every time you fuck, that being what y’all were born with.

You both undressed, and Mike slowly slid in, suppressing the loud groan he wanted to let out.

He started thrusting into you, gripping and rubbing every inch of your body. He loved having you in this position. He loved being able to grab your ass, but also kind of see your face.

“Fuck, y/n, don’t know what I’d do without you.” He leaned over you and kissed your cheek.

Soon enough, you were crying about how much you loved him and how you were going to cum.

With what you said, he remembered why you both were doing this right then and there.

“Yeah? You gonna cum for me?” He flipped you over, still inside so he can see your face.

“Uh huh! Please let me cum!” You whined, grabbing his face and kissing him.

He started pounding into you, smiling at the screams you let out.

“Fuck! I’m gonna put a baby in you. Gonna have you swollen and round with my baby.” He started babbling, not realizing what he was even saying, he wanted to talk to you first so you wouldn’t feel forced into this, but honestly, he found baby trapping hot too so, what can he say?

“You want that? You want a mini me running around the place, Huh?” You didn’t even make a sound, you had already came and he was now using all he had left to make you feel good as long as he did.

“Make you a mommy, make you officially mine.” He started to whimper in your ear, making you reach a second orgasm.

“Mike! I can’t!” You moaned, he kissed you, and you came again.

“I’m cumming!” He groaned, cumming inside of you. He laid there for a few moments, before he slowly pulled out.

Fingers crossed you’re throwing up in a couple of days!

This was dog shit, just wanted to post something to pass time by!

[a-little-unsteddie]

strawberries & lemonade

i have wanted to write something for this month’s @steddiemicrofic challenge, but i have been unable to get my brain to do anything with it for some reason. however! that ended tonight and i was able to write this and now i’m gonna think about witch!steve for the rest of forever. thank you @sailing-through-hawkins and @hammity-hammer for enabling me. alternative title: how much world building can rowan fit into this ficlet? answer: tbd

prompt: charm || word count: 548 || rated: t

If you needed something magic related, there was only one place in Hawkins to find it.

Okay, well, maybe that was a lie, but there was only one place that anyone with any self respect would go to. Which is why Eddie found himself approaching the Harrington cottage at the barrier between town and the wilds.

Eying the edge of the wilds warily, Eddie carefully made his way up the stone path to the front door. When he looked up at the front door, he was surprised to see the witch leaning against the railing of his porch. He wasn’t exactly what Eddie had been expecting; he was wearing a worn yellow shirt with brown leggings, and some brown leather boots. Atop his head wasn’t a stereotypical witch hat, but his hair was tucked into what appeared to be a crocheted hair bandana. All of that is to say, he didn’t look like who Eddie had expected to find when he left the small place he called home that afternoon.

“Well met,” Eddie breathed, eyes wide as he met Steve’s gaze head on.

“Well met,” Steve returned, smiling slightly. He gestured towards a small set up where he had put out lemonade and fresh fruit, “Come sit. We can talk.” Eddie’s stomach immediately growled as he walked up the steps to sit where Steve had motioned.

“Are the stories true?” Eddie asked, looking at the food and beverage with apprehension. Steve sat across from him, sitting with his legs folded under him.

“What stories?” Steve asked, before noticing his apprehensive demeanor and snorted. “No.”

Eddie flushed, ducking his head as he muttered a quiet, but sincere apology. He reached out and grabbed a strawberry, humming happily as he bit into it.

“My uncle is sick,” Eddie said, as he sipped the lemonade. The witch hummed, eating one of the strawberries himself. “I heard you’re the best.”

“You heard correctly,” Steve said, nodding. “What ails him?”

“We..we think it’s a curse.”

“We?”

“I,” Eddie amended, looking sheepish. “I think it’s a curse.”

Steve hummed and looked at Eddie expectantly, which the man took as a sign to continue. He explained the little he did know about his uncle’s condition, a persistent fever that refused to go down, with fever dreams of black dogs plaguing his fitful sleep. All the while, Steve listened carefully, looking more and more angry as he continued.

“I agree with your assessment,” Steve said, standing abruptly. “Stay here.” He said before disappearing into the cottage, leaving Eddie sitting on his porch alone. When he returned, Steve held out a small charm. Eddie hesitated briefly before grabbing it.

“Put this beneath his pillow for three nights, and the fever will break and the dreams will cease,” Steve explained, eyebrows furrowed, betraying his concern. “Nights only,” He reiterated. Eddie nodded slowly, peering at the small charm curiously.

After a moment, Eddie looked up at the witch. “I don’t have a lot to offer in return,” he admitted guiltily.

Steve smiled softly, “I only ask for a boon.”

“A boon?”

“You will know,” Steve said, reaching out for Eddie’s hand, covering it completely with his own. Eddie hissed, shaking it out before realizing Steve had seared his sigil onto the back of his hand. “And you will come.”

[fyreflys]

I’ve been talking non stop about it on Twitter & in my discord servers but it hasn’t spewed over here yet which is honestly shocking BUT I watched the Elvis biopic movie like a week ago & now my brain is obsessed with Elvis Presley. This is one of those examples of “you don’t choose the hyperfixation, the hyperfixation chooses you”. Like I can’t stop thinking about Elvis Presley I’ve been listening to his hit songs on repeat for the past week. Like constantly. I’d be shocked if this guy isn’t in my Spotify wrapped at the end of the year. I’ve even started watching the movies he’s in. I just watched King Creole. I’m watching Flaming Star tomorrow. I have a SCHEDULE. GOD HELP ME

But also can we talk about how different his life & career success would have looked like without Colonel Parker- OK ILL STOP ILL STOP

Jk I won’t this is just gonna be my designated Elvis Brainrott Post so I don’t flood my page with Elvis nonsense. I’ll just keep editing & adding to this post instead 🙃

My Elvis playlist: (major [I’m biased on some] hits in order of when they were released - it runs perfectly at an hour long which is too satisfying so now I can’t add or remove songs I’m stuck at this 23 song set up)

That’s All Right \\ Baby, Let’s Play House \\ Blue Suede Shoes \\ Heartbreak Hotel \\ Hound Dog \\ Don’t Be Cruel \\ Love Me Tender \\ All Shook Up \\ Jailhouse Rock \\ Trouble \\ Fever \\ It’s Now or Never \\ I’m Coming Home \\ Can’t Help Falling in Love \\ (You’re The) Devil in Disguise \\ Viva Las Vegas \\ A Little Less Conversation \\ If I Can Dream \\ In the Ghetto \\ Suspicious Minds \\ Always On My Mind \\ Burning Love \\ Unchained Melody

Also a list of my favorite lines/verses in these songs (bc some of the lyrics are so funny &/or very good):

“Drink my liquor from an old-fruit jar” (Blue Suede Shoes)

“I'm itchin' like a man on a fuzzy tree // My friends say I'm actin' wild as a bug”, “Her lips are like a Volcano that’s hot” (All Shook Up)

“Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone // Little Joe was blowin' on the slide trombone // The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang // The whole rhythm section was a purple gang” , “The warden said, ‘Hey, buddy, don't you be no square //If you can't find a partner, use a wooden chair’” (Jailhouse Rock)

“But if you're gonna start a rumble, don't you try it all alone” (Trouble)

“Thou givest fever when we kisseth // fever with thy flaming youth” , “Cats were born to give chicks fever // Be it Fahrenheit or centigrade” (Fever)

“”(Viva Las Vegas)

TBC

[landwriter]

WIP Wordsearch Game: Director's Cut Extended Edition

Why not! Courtesy of @softest-punk and @moorishflower - thank you both for tagging me, please enjoy these excessively long excerpts for every word that was a match in the WIPs:

lonely—lighthouses “You’re off your nut. The only thing Keats and I have in common is that we’re broke.”

But later, halfway out the door, leaving for his own lonely apartment, he finds himself asking, “Keats and Shelley were friends, weren’t they?”

“Yes,” says Dream.

He leaves Dream’s apartment with the words What he has offered me is generous, circling around and around in his head like a dog chasing its tail. I would offer the same, he thinks. I would offer more. Anything. He imagines Dream and his mystery love meeting in the cover of darkness, meeting in cars, in parks, imagines Dream’s lips slick with spit instead of grease, and at the end, each time, the other man, who he pictures as older, chiseled, clean-cut — who must surely have a wife — reminding him he loves another, and Dream nodding, serious, straight-backed as his settee. He wonders if they kiss each other. He hopes they don’t.

small—lighthouses “Trying to kill me,” says Dream, sounding scraped raw.

“Nah,” Hob says, handing the soup back, “I don’t think I could do a good Adonais.” Dream looks at him. “Your throat must feel like shit after that. I’m gonna make you some tea. You got honey?”

Dream nods minutely. He’s wearing an unnervingly soft expression that Hob puts down to him being terrifically, deliriously sick. He puts the back of his hand against Dream’s forehead. “Well,” he says. “No fever, at least.”

“Are you sure?” asks Dream, still staring at him. Hob feels a heat of his own spring to his face. He can’t even kid himself that Dream is just asking. But he’s sure Dream would regret it later, and there’s no way Hob is going to take advantage of him when he’s sick, and he - he tells himself he respects himself too much to be used as a surrogate for Dream’s man, for the one he loves and the one who isn’t here to check if he’s okay, to feed him soup and rub his back and want desperately, desperately, to suck his dick; and it’s not strange to want to do all those things, is it, to want to give him every small pleasure there is of life until he recovers.

He wishes they were both feverish. Wishes he was a slightly worse or significantly better person than this. He drops his hand.

“Yeah,” he says, after a weird, too-long silence. “You’re good. Where’s the honey?”

taste—lighthouses “God,” he says, sounding helplessly reverent. “I’m so fucking crazy for you, man. I’m- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you.”

And Dream smiles, soft, and moves for him, hooking an arm behind Hob’s neck and bringing him close, pressing their bodies together, and Hob feels Dream’s naked chest rising and falling against his own as they kiss, and thinks, I love you, I love you, I love you, and he’s sure Dream can taste it in his mouth.

“I know what I want to do with you,” says Dream.

nose—lighthouses “You,” he says, nuzzling into Dream’s stroking, newly spit-slick hand, trying to gentle him, but he won’t be gentled now, not for anything, “Needy for you, for you, nobody else was the same, nobody else was close.”

Dream’s mouth has fallen slack, eyes glazed with lust. He focuses them, barely, on Hob, “For me,” he says.

“For you,” he promises. “Haven’t even made it with anyone else. Wanted you.”

Dream goes still and breathes in sharply through his nose.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“If you keep talking like that, I’m going to come, Hob.”

right—lighthouses “I’ll wait,” he says, standing so hard on the knife edge of truth and discretion he thinks he won’t be able to walk away from this, or walk ever again after it. “I’ll wait a hundred years for, for him.”

“You’re too loyal, Hob.” Dream looks disappointed with him. He wonders if it’s obvious, how fucked he is right now. He wonders if his want is rolling off of him, like fog, if Dream sees it. Or feels it clinging to his skin, damp. If he’s repulsed. He doesn’t want to be pitied. Not by Dream. Not for this. There’s nothin’ wrong, being loyal. Nothing wrong waiting.

book—shaper of forms He does not so mind the crowds, with Hob by his side. It is less of an awful clamour, without the dull roar of daydreams. But his own thoughts are louder, even with Hob holding his hand.

He looks at a book display and accidentally catches his own gaze instead. His window-self looks at him in scorn. Gaunt, it assesses. Frail. Weak. As they pass the next shopfront, he glances over again. And again, and again.

Each reflection is a jolt, a shiver, like a wing’d shadow over water. A fish-fear. Nightmare blotting out the sun. Announcing his new station to the world: you are helpless, you are helpless, you are- Helpless. You are only this. Nothing more.

After, he cannot stop looking, resolved to confront himself until he no longer feels surprise and pain at the sight, but a part of him, too, foolishly hoping to see himself restored in the next window. It is the way humans sometimes unconsciously beckon the same dream of missing something over and over, compulsively looking in the Dreaming for what awaits them in the Waking world: their brake pedal, their destination, their child.

This is not a dream. His loss is his own.

tea—shaper of forms Nightmares, he knows, are important to humanity. He is certain this is what is missing. Fear.

Three nights later — long, he thinks, but perhaps none of the Nightmares he created himself would dare visit their former lord, something he cannot resist finding flattering — he feels an innocuous dream start to turn from under him. He’s in Hob’s kitchen, making tea. His hands tremble and the cup slips and shatters on the floor. He knows he will not catch it in a dream, so he does not try. The puddle of black tea spreads across the floor, suddenly thick and ichorous, and then turns milk-white. At first, he is fascinated.

Then the Nightmare who has been called to his sleeping mind rises out of it with hair and suit the same colour, and teeth for eyes. It is not, he thinks, an especially creative choice. He is certain it is not the Corinthian himself.

Certain, until the Nightmare places a gentle hand on his cheek and says, all friendly impertinence, “Wanna hear a joke? Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.”

[omegaremix]

Omega Radio for June 18, 2016; #113.

Cadet Kelly “Throttle You”

Leather Towel “Progress”

Frankie Teardrop “Not A Love Song”

Deep Throats “Good, Bad, Plenty”

Reatards, The “You Ain’t No Fun No Mo’”

Proto Idiot “Be My Baby”

Future Biff “Built To Last”

Hot Freaks “Boo”

A Giant Dog “Hitchhike Love”

Coachwhips “You Gonna’ Get It”

Heavy Hearts “Bliss”

Pink Mexico “Buzz Kill”

Duchess Says “Subtraction Of Obedience”

Dogheart “Drag”

Thermals, The “My Heart Went Cold”

Gorgeous Bully “Just Like Before”

Pheromoans, The “I’m A You-Know-What”

Fake Palms “Fever Dreams”

Dune Rats “Bullshit”

No Joy “A Thorn In Garland’s Side”

Alpine Decline “Pre-Columbian Artifact”

Cheena “Car”

Your Loss “Midlife Crisis Tropical Vacation”

Numerators, The “Hi, I’m Kirk. Fuck You.”

Fidlar “Sabotage”

Mercury Girls “All That Heaven Allows”

Birth (Defects) “Hanshin”

Ben Seratan “Cottonwood Tree”

Dream Wife “Kids”

Hollow Tapes “Broken Car Radio”

Honey “White City”

Bichkraft “Neatriver Chain”

Thee Oh Sees “Plastic Plant”

Hussy, The “You Know”

Deluxe garage, noise rock, and lo-fi.

[starletbun]

summer of juniper and hazel

prev/next

transcript below

Elio: First, the jet lag and now a novela playing out in front of me.

Damion: And you are?

Elio: Elio Adrián Ramos. Charmed, I’m sure. Since you're family, I’ll give you all free autographs.

Damion: Um, no need... So you're the pretty boy that Billie mentioned?

Elio: And you’re the long-lost brother she’s excited to meet; unfortunately, she’s exhausted from our travels.

Damion: She said you were good with kids, right?

Elio: Oh yeah, I love them. Honestly, we have serious baby fever, but Billie wants to wait a little longer, maybe until after her serious movie wraps up.

Juniper: So he’s the actor Wendy B. likes?

Hazel: Looks like it! Now we can brag at Preston’s stupid face.

Juniper: I don’t think Preston would care...

Elio: You’re a rancher? That’s honestly the dream, just you, your horse, the farm, and nothing but the summer breeze.

Damion: You think so?

Juniper: [Whispering] Um, hey, Pa? Um tio...?

Elio: Of course, thinking of getting a farm by Chestnut Ridge or even all the way In Henford one of these days.

Hazel: Hiya Mister. I’mma rancher too!

Elio: Oh, and who might you be?

Hazel: I’m Hazel, and my sister Juniper is over there! We’re experienced ranchers! The best in all of Chestnut Ridge, Sherrif Eliza says so!

Elio: Experienced and with references? Now, those are mentors I trust. Think you can teach an old city boy like me a few tricks?

Hazel: Of course! My pa can help, too! Our ranch is small, but it’s the best we got our horse, Sunny, and our dog, Honey. Mister Pancakes is watching him right now.

Elio: Looks like my future ranch is in good hands then.

Hazel: You can count on us!

Hazel: I like Mama’s house. It’s so cozy. Are we gonna explore the town tomorrow?

Damion: Ain’t much to explore kid, we got a diner, a cafe, park, the new rec center.

Juniper: A rec center?

Damion: There’s also this abandoned mine, where your tias and I used to hang out as teenagers.

Hazel: Ooo let’s go there!

Damion: No way Missy. Way too dangerous, especially for little rascals like you.

Juniper: We’ll be good!!

Damion: You too?

Hazel: See, even Junie wants to go!

Damion: No, end of story. If y’all want to go out and play, we can talk you guys to the park. I am not having you guys breath in possibly toxic dust.

Hazel: Come on, Pa. I’m sure Junie’s super alien powers can help her, right, Junie?

Juniper: Do we have to go out?.

Damion: Juniper, I know you’re nervous, but you need-

Juniper: It's not that. I just keep thinkin ‘bout what Preston told sissy. I know you said family still loves each other no matter what, but whatabout the other kids? I just wanna be normal like everyone else...

Damion: No one is normal, Junebug. We all have something that makes us different. You’re special because of who you are. I think you're forgetting that being an alien is just a small part of you. You’re also forgetting that you’re a kind and smart girl.

Hazel: Besides, that was just dumb, Preston. If they think you’re weird, then they are the weird ones. You’re pretty cool for a scaredy-cat.

Damion: Hazel, we don't speak about others that way.

Hazel: Not if it’s Preston.

Juniper: But what if they're right? Am I weird? What if no one wants to be my friend all cause of stupid Preston.

Damion: Hmm, okay, how can I say this and sound wise... [clicks tongue] There's going to be many people who don't understand you and don't want to. But that doesn't mean you have to let their words hurt you. You'll always have your family to help you.

Damion: And if anyone asks, you don't have to say anything you're not comfortable with. Just be yourself.

Damion: [Vo] Always remember, you’re a part of this family, and we love you just the way you are. And I know there’s people out there who will love you and understand you just like we do.

Juniper: [Vo, sniffling] Thanks papa.

Damion: [Vo] Feel better?

Juniper: [Vo] Yeah.

[wtfcraigslistnyc]

I’m back motherfuckers!! YES!!! To the roots of where this whole sorted mess began.. CRAIGSLIST… Life has handed me some of the sweetest cherries via CRAISGSLIST. I can’t ever quit you….

This first foray back to the OG art form comes to us from some DOUCHE in VIRGINA… It’s not just for LOVERS apparently. Having spent a fair amount of time in the mid-atlantic region I feel connected to this world this strange query springs from… ENJOI 12.6.23

CHRISTMAS ELF…

It’s really profound what the human mind is capable of. Curing cancer, overcoming tremendous adversity, dragging what’s left of your body after a bear mauls you… But other times the mind wanders in the cold, bleak, dark of winter. The walls close in and everyone begins to look like a bucket of KFC that complains too much. So the wheels spin and land on a very intuitive and obvious solution as you drift across the sewage treatment plant liquid surface of the modern popular cultural zeitgeist.

One can only try to imagine the wretched and pitiful mind that would solicit another human for their sick holiday fun….

WILL FARRELL!!! OF COURSE!!! ELF!!!

My cheating wife and asshole children will be so goddam stoked on this utter tidal wave of yuletide inspiration. Nothing will prepare them for the TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET-esque reveal I have on deck for them all…

The whole concept actually appeared in a fever dream as I took a stroll down memory lane to revisit my old childhood haunts of the web… EBAUM'S BABY!!! All the most vile stuff really. It brought me back to the time of dial up and TUB GIRL. Of lesser and greater evils I may or may not have been privy to.

The issue is that I know my dog is gonna rape the ELF… It’s the ELEPHANT in the room really.

BUSTER has been really not adjusting well to any of the many hurdles we’ve presented him with. First, we switched him from a VEGAN, non protein based diet. This caused our beloved pup to really take a turn for the worse almost instantly. His poor canine rectum became a fire hydrant of angry, hateful excrement. He seemed to charge at passing cars with what little life force remained, chasing his own death like a ball sadly…

Thankfully we found a DOGGIE LIFE COACH who really set us straight on the path of nothing but freshly butchered chicken and raw veg. His stools are now like baseballs, one saves in a bin and are carefully burned over the winter months to warm the family at our cabin in the stix…

The unfortunate byproduct of this new vigor BUSTER’s meat infused doggie heart is that he basically tries to penetrate ANY creature that he perceives as a possible for him to mount and dominate.

We found out the hard way… The kids had just come back from school. I was busy cutting brush out back with our gardener… Lord knows his idle hands won’t execute my desires if I’m not there to micro-manage each and every gesture of his hands.

The sound made JUAN and myself quite concerned. The state has advised me not to really provide any other details as the investigation is still pending. I think that in the end everyone will come out on the other side of this unfortunate misunderstanding far more cognisant of BUSTER’s potential for solo doggie breeding supremacy.

We take him to a place now. JUAN introduced us to the guy. He refuses to tell me his name because he says I have a big mouth and will make problems if I know it. He’s got a system where two times a week I drop off BUSTER and he lets him just pound all these dogs making more of his ilk to populate the gene pool. The guy is giving me a really good deal on this dog therapy. BUSTER is much more manageable now that his balls are drained of the hateful poison that bubbles like molten lava…

I’ve already hired a gregarious fella named AL to be the ELF. I actually held “AUDITIONS” in my minivan at the mall. AL was the only one to swallow and that goes a very long way in my book. He didn’t even complain about the ether fumes that engulfed the cabin of the van as I let my drippy rag make me forget why I had a little person blowing me at WALMART, nibbling on a churro….

AL says he has a lot of mascott experience which is going to be very important…. The guy who helps keep BUSTER chill, is on holiday for the next month and as such he left him with a rubber dog we chained up next to his kennel… The poor thing is barely intact and it’s only been a couple of days.

I see this whole holiday ELF reveal meets my psycho dog extravaganza going one of two ways… AL will be smiling counting his money driving home… AL spends the holidays chilling as BUSTER’s bitch in the kennel waiting for the “BONUS” I keep telling him is gonna be life changing and super sweet… It’s yet another YULETIDE MIRACLE.

[charmandheaven]

Innocence Died Screaming: Chapter Index

Day 1: Safety Net

An earlier concept of A Ripple Of Awakening, where things are way more melodramatic.

aka

Quan Yizhen asks Hualian to look after his child in event of his death before he runs away from the Heavens and also Yin Yu.

Day 2: Delirium/“I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.”

Quan Yizhen has a fever. He is alone.

Day 3: Solitary Confinement/“Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.”

Fem!Quan Yizhen is arranged to be married after the Brocade Immortal incident.

Day 4: “I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.”

Pei Ming is possessed by a vicious ghost. Quan Yizhen is in the way.

Day 5: “You better pray I don’t get up this time around.”/Debris/Pinned Down/“It’s broken.”

Quan Yizhen watches Yin Yu die again and again and again. He rewinds time again and again and again.

aka

Homura Akemi is an icon and should be emulated.

Day 6: Recording/Made to Watch

Another Mid-Autumn banquet. Another play. Another worshipper to beat up.

Day 7: Alleyway/“Can you hear me?”

After the Brocade Immortal incident, the position of Martial God of the West is vacant.

aka

Hua Cheng gets Yin Yu. Xie Lian gets Quan Yizhen. It's the world's worst Parent-Trap-esque situation.

Day 8: Outnumbered

CW: animal attack, violence against animals

Quan Yizhen saves another street kid from a pack of dogs. (This street kid is Wei Ying.)

Day 9: Mistaken Identity

Falling in love with a human is foolish. Unfortunately, Quan Yizhen is a fool.

aka

Quan Yizhen is an air spirit in love with Yin Yu.

Day 10: Stranded/“You said you’d never leave.”

An expansion on a throw-away line in 'Men Say You're Intense Or You're Insane'.

aka

Fem!Quan Yizhen is abandoned on the streets in winter.

Day 11: “All the lights going dark and my hope’s destroyed.”/Animal trap/Captivity/“No one will find you.”

A heavenly official whose friend was killed by Quan Yizhen during the Brocade Immortal incident takes revenge.

Day 12: Insomnia

It is Quan Yizhen's first night in the Heavens after Yin Yu's ascension. There are many strange noises and textures and smells.

Day 13: “It comes and goes like the strength in your bones.”/Cold Compress/Infection/“I don’t feel so good.”

Trans!Quan Yizhen has cramps from his monthly cycle. He is also poisoned by a yao.

Day 14: Water Inhalation

Quan Yizhen fell into the sea after the Bone Dragon. He Xuan does not want to take care of him.

Day 15: “I don’t need you to help me I can handle things myself.”/Makeshift Bandages/Suppressed Suffering/“I’m fine.”

Despite trusting Yin Yu the most in all the sect, fem!Quan Yizhen is still wary of him and his suspicious helpfulness.

Day 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Quan Yizhen is trapped in a perfect dream. Well, 'trapped' is slightly inaccurate now.

Day 17: Collar/Touch Aversion/“Leave me alone.”

Omega!Quan Yizhen needs to be bonded on the orders of the Heavenly Emperor. Pei Ming volunteers.

Day 18: Blindfold

Quan Yizhen can see lies. He does not want to.

Day 19: “I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me.”/Psychological/“I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”

CW: suicidal ideation

He's almost at his breaking point.

Day 20: “People don’t change people, time does.”/Blanket/Found Family

Omega!Quan Yizhen makes many nests throughout the years.

Day 21: “See the chains around my feet.”/Vows/Restraints

Quan Yizhen tries to make a deal to get his shixiong back after a bad night-hunt.

Day 22: Glass Shard

Jun Wu takes out his frustrations on the unruliest god he currently has.

Day 23: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.”/Shadows/Stalking/“Who’s there?”

Something has been following him for a while.

Day 24: Neglect/“I thought they were with you.”

CW: organ harvesting, surgery while awake

Quan Yizhen is cut off from the group during a night hunt. He is captured. Luckily, he has reached Core Formation and can regenerate many body parts.

Day 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.”/Buried Alive/“They’re not breathing!”

A plague is going around the village. Quan Yizhen is deemed dead too soon.

Day 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.”/Working To Exhaustion

Some days, he just wants to forget. So he works and works until he can't remember his own name.

Day 27: “You drew stars around my scars; But now I’m bleeding.”/Scars/“Let me see”

Quan Yizhen's shizun asks about his scars.

Day 28: Bloody Knife/Sacrifice/“You’ll have to go through me.”

A scene from an earlier variant of A Ripple Of Awakening:

A few Heavenly Officials have found Quan Yizhen and deemed his child an abomination.

Day 29: Scented Candle/Troubled Past Resurfacing/“What happened to me?”

Quan Yizhen has been deaged. It's very funny until it's not.

Day 30: Borrowed Clothing/Bridal Carry

CW: implied rape/non-con

Hualian takes care of Quan Yizhen after a bad encounter.

Day 31: Emptiness

Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu has been thrown back to the past. They do not know that the other had travelled too. Quan Yizhen is determined for things not to go the same way.

[nkhrchuwuya]

downpour

bungou stray dogs | G | 502 words nakahara chuuya x reader/oc

sometimes taking shelter from the rain just isn’t the best option. 

"you'd think being right next to yokohama we'd have the same weather."

chuuya steps closer to you where you're looking out the hotel room window. here at the topmost floor, tokyo's nighttime city sprawl unravels before your eyes, dripping with rain. it's not quite night yet- the sky breathing its last blues- and something about the streetlights below makes you want to go out.

"scared of the rain, chuuya?"

"what kind of a stupid question is that?"

chuuya's got something to do in tokyo- not dangerous for once- for the next few days. something about contracts being signed and welcome gifts being exchanged. after assuring that there won't be any action-packed drama, you asked to come along so you can be with chuuya in the downtimes, and he quickly agreed.

tonight is one of those downtimes.

"i was just thinking of doing something kinda stupid."

you flip your wrist to reveal the gold wristwatch chuuya had bought for you- a birthday gift. there's still two hours left for your dinner reservation, you've got time to burn. and really, there's something about those streetlights...

"i'm listening."

-

"yanno, in hindsight, this is kinda embarrassing."

"what? there's no backing out now, chuuya!"

when you get to the street below your hotel building, the downpour has turned into a downpour, the footpaths chattering with rain. little pools of water have gathered in certain dips in the pavement, reflecting the streetlights in a hazy golden glow.

"you're gonna get a fever like this," chuuya says, gripping the umbrella's handle tightly in his hand. "i don't want ya sick."

"we're gonna be drenched like a minute tops," you say, squeezing his hand tighter. "please? it's been a little dream of mine for a bit."

and just like that, chuuya's in for it. for what is he if not the one who makes your dreams come true?

you're lucky he's gotten some dance lessons from kouyou.

in five seconds, the pedestrian crossing light finally turns green, and chuuya drops the umbrella as you pull him to the center of the crossing lane. thankfully, there's only you and him, and you've got the stage to yourselves.

you start to dance.

to music that no one but you can hear, the raindrops cold against your exposed arms, the beep-boop of the crossing timer the only beat you move to. chuuya feels a little out of his element on his own, but when he's finally got you in his arms his feet begin to get lighter. a sway there, a dip there, a little spin-

it's everything you've wanted and more. the laugh that comes out of you comes straight out of your heart.

and when the timer is about to die down, chuuya pulls you into a kiss before pulling you back to safety on your side of the street.

you grin at him like he'd given you the world.

and, although shyly, he smiles back, knowing there's nothing better in the world than granting you a smile like this.

[thatweirdguyinthebushes]

all my dream smp playlists

as the title says, all my dream smp playlists! all quotes are by richard siken, except for the bee duo playlist, which is quote from the orestia. enjoy!

EDIT: new additions! quackity & tubbo playlist, awesamponk playlist, quackity & schlatt playlist, snowchester/post-doomsday playlist

EDIT: new new addition! a third tubbo playlist, this time in chronological order :)

OVERALL DREAM SMP PLAYLISTS

and they called it freedom (lmanberg playlist. art by qtiq. the three administrations are separated by war instrumentals. songs are ordered chronologically.)

a fresh start, with no past. (dream smp, post-doomsday/snowchester, art by quippso) I clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary. I'd rather quit. I'd rather be sad. It's too much work.

DUO PLAYLISTS

never saw one without the other, did you? (c!tommy and tubbo. art by georgesspotify) but no ones left. you know this and i know this. together we trace out the trail away from doom. there is no hope. there is a trail. i follow you.

make it better. (c!beeduo. art by now_thatwaslie) "I'll take care of you." "It's rotten work." "Not for me. Not if it's you."

you never got to see the lights. (c!niki and c!wilbur. art by salsasscribbles) You wanted to be cremated so we cremated you and you wanted an adventure so I ran and I knew you wouldn’t catch me. You are a fever I am learning to live with, and everything is happening at the wrong end of a very long tunnel.

all that matters is that youre alive. (c!quackity and c!tubbo. art by tubbowithagun) Your skin looked blue in the television light. Your teeth looked yellow. Still wet, I lay down next to you. Your arms, your legs, your naked chest, your ribs delineated like a junkyard dog's. There’s nowhere to go, I thought. There’s nowhere to go.

getting to spend time with you aint that bad, huh? (c!awesamponk. art by ) Let’s jump ahead to the moment of epiphany, in gold light, as the camera pans to where the action is, lakeside and backlit, and it all falls into frame, close enough to see the blue rings of my eyes as I say something ugly. I never liked that ending either.

I'm never gonna protect you again. (c!quackity and c!schlatt. art by Probably a Plant) A man walks into a bar and says: Take my wife–please. But you take him instead. You take him home, and you make him a cheese sandwich, and you try to get his shoes off, but he kicks you and he keeps kicking you.

CHARACTER PLAYLISTS

be worse. (c!niki. art by evenspelledevan) We pull our boots on with both hands but we can’t punch ourselves awake and all I can do is stand on the curb and say Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine. I couldn’t get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.

he loves me, right? (c!sapnap. art by chjropta) Actually, you said Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.

there is no sunrise inside. (c!sam. art by pnksh1rts) I sleep. I dream. I make up things that I would never say. I say them very quietly.

trust nobody. dont even trust me. (c!quackity) We're shooting the scene where I swallow your heart and you make me spit it up again. I swallow your heart and it crawls right out of my mouth.

i know what I'm like. that's the issue. (c!wilbur. art by ranbooz) I will turn myself into a gun, because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own.

i dont like who i am around you. (c!tommy. art by jellyilyy) I swear, I end up feeling empty, like you’ve taken something out of me, and I have to search my body for the scars, thinking Did he find that one last tender place to sink his teeth in?

be better. (c!jack manifold. art by robotic-poet.) So, I said, now that we have our dead, what are we going to do with them? There's a black dog and there's a white dog, depends on which you feed, depends on which damn dog you live with.

this is checkmate. (c!tubbo playlist #1. art by beetlle) History throws its shadow over the beginning, over the desktop, over the sock drawer with its socks, its hidden letters. History is a little man in a brown suit trying to define a room he is outside of.

a good kid, and an even better spy. (c!tubbo playlist #2. art by sad-ist) You're going to die in your best friend's arms. And you play along because it's funny, because it's written down, you've memorized it, it's all you know.

hope for the best, plan for the worst. (c!tubbo playlist #3, art by emikuthecipher, listen in order, seasons separated by c418) Imagine surrender. Imagine being useless. A stone on the path means the tea's not ready, a stone in the hand means somebody's angry, the stone inside you still hasn't hit bottom.

[tootiredmotel]

For @one-more-offbeat-anthem 's 1k follower celebration. The prompt was "sickfics" and I've never written a sickfic in my life so, naturally, I adapted a scene from one of my comfort movies (Fever Pitch, 2005). HUGE congrats on your milestone love!!!

read on ao3 or below (1.5k words)

Castiel should've known better than to listen to his brother regarding food. They have wildly different palates, and why he agreed to accompany Gabriel to lunch at some newly-opened new-age restaurant with barely any reviews, he'll never know. He wasn't thinking.

He could think even less that night, hunched over the toilet with food poisoning while his date knocked on his apartment door.

As soon as he could, Castiel scrambled to his feet and wobbled over to open it, his over-excitable golden retriever on his heels. Dean stood there in a nice leather jacket, all dapper and first-date-ready with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, and it broke Castiel's heart to have to tell him:

"I'm sick."

He was sure it was evident in his eyes, death breath, hair sticking out in all directions from holding his head above the toilet, but he said it anyway.

"I'm really sick, I'm sorry. Come back tomorrow."

Castiel went to close the door, but Dean took a cautious step, bouquet forgotten at his side. "Sick how? You in pain? Do you need anything?"

"I just-" Castiel swallowed forcefully. "I ate at this new restaurant and-"

Just thinking about it made him run to the bathroom again, and he almost didn't make it on time. He barely registered Dean, still at the doorway, say something about Castiel (Cas, he called him) not needing to fake it if he didn't want to go out with him. A few seconds later, the door closed, and Castiel (still puking) thought that was that. He blew it with the handsome schoolteacher, all thanks to his brother's awful culinary taste.

His dog's wasn't so far behind. "Honey, please don't eat that," he reprimanded her, failing to shoo her out of the bathroom.

When he felt he was done, for the time being at least, he tried to stand. He was weak, and for a second he thought he might split his head open on the toilet seat, but then Dean was there, hands on his waist, helping him up. "I got you," said Dean, over and over again, and Castiel believed him.

Dean helped him to his bed where he tried to sit him down, but Castiel must've been weaker than he thought. He flopped backward, and then Dean cautiously lifted his head and placed a pillow underneath.

"Thank you."

"Got some more comfortable clothes? Something to sleep in?"

It's then Cas remembered he was already dressed for the date, slacks and a white button-up (probably grossly stained, he hated to think), and pointed Dean to a drawer.

A second later Dean was gently hoisting him back to his feet, strong hands at his sides, saying "Here, I'll help you change. Promise I won't look. Too much, I won't look too much."

And that actually made Castiel chuckle.

Dean unbuckled and took off his slacks first, replacing them with sweatpants. It was a slow, quiet process, and Dean only spoke up after he'd taken off Castiel's tie and shirt. "Alright, I gotta be honest, I'm looking. Sorry, Cas."

Cas couldn't help another chuckle. Dean was incredibly respectful through it all, careful not to touch any skin unless he had to, which was mostly to keep Cas from falling over. He slipped a t-shirt onto him and laid Cas back down on the bed, this time with his head where it was supposed to be. That's when things started to blur, when his head hit the pillow.

"I don't think there's anything left in there, but just in case..."

Cas, through hazy vision, noticed Dean putting his empty hamper next to the bed. He thanked him, repeatedly. Cas isn't sure how many times he said it, over and over again, thank you.

"Hey, no, you just get some rest," was the last thing Cas heard Dean say before he was out like a light.

Cas suspects he briefly regained consciousness three times during that night.

The first time, he's sure of. He felt a hand on his shoulder, slowly coaxing him awake. "Here," Dean said softly, placing a bottle of Gatorade with a straw in it on the nightstand. "Drink this if you can, alright? Get your strength back." Cas nodded and fell back asleep.

The second time was more questionable, and he only knows it was real because he saw the results of it in the morning. He slowly awoke on his own and saw Dean in his bathroom across from his bedroom door, wearing rubber gloves and scrubbing away at the toilet with a sponge. Cas tried to stop him, tell him no, please, you don't have to do that, really, but couldn't help sleep drag him back down before he could get the words out.

The third time is the most unbelievable. Borderline fantastical. If it was real, he might just have to marry this guy.

Cas thinks he saw Dean brushing Honey's teeth.

Out of everything that happened the night before, that is all he can think about as he steps out of the shower in the morning. He plans to call Dean, send a fruit basket to his school, invite him on the best date of his life to repay him for all he did, and ask him. It's going to sound ridiculous, did you brush my dog's teeth or did I hallucinate that, and Dean will probably turn down his invite. If not for the hell he went through that night, then for Cas being insane.

And then Cas finds Dean asleep on his couch, Honey snuggled into his side. And yeah, he's probably going to marry this guy. This schoolteacher who happened to pick him and his office as a field trip destination for his math kids. This adorable guy that came back later that same day, thanked him for getting through to the kids (which Cas didn't think he had, but he digresses), and then asked him out. This unbelievably sweet guy that Cas initially rejected, god knows why, but then called at his school and left a message for, Saturday at seven, here's my address, because he couldn't get him off his mind. This caring, thoughtful, heaven-sent guy who showed up with flowers, now in a vase on his dining table, found Cas with food poisoning and proceeded to take care of him, his dog, and his apartment the rest of the night.

Before Cas can think about marrying him again (which he was going to, the hopeless romantic), Honey startles and jumps off the couch, waking Dean. Cas doesn't move, just watches as Dean sits up, notices him, then sits up straighter.

"Hey! Hey, how you feeling?" Dean asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand. He put products in his hair for the date, Cas notices, because it's now stiffly and adorably messed up.

"Much better. I won't be entering any pie-eating contests any time soon, though."

"Too bad. That was my next date idea."

Cas smiles, the words next date making his heart flutter in his ribcage. His question pops back into his mind.

"Did you, um..." Don't ask about the dog, he'll think you're crazy. He decides to go with "Did you clean my bathroom last night?" even though he knows the answer.

"Me? No."

Well. Cas thought he knew the answer. Probably dreamed it too. But then who-

"The vomit elves came in," Dean continues. "Real cute. Little hats, miniature vomit bags, adorable. Efficient too."

Cas is stuck somewhere between smiling so wide his cheeks hurt, and shaking his head while rolling his eyes. "Did the elves brush Honey's teeth too?"

"Oh no, that one was me."

And that has Cas laughing in earnest. At the sound of her name, Honey came bouncing back, settling next to Dean on the couch.

"Not letting the little bastards take credit for that one. This sweetheart loves me, and I earned that myself," Dean says, scratching Honey between her ears, enraptured.

"Dean, thank you." At that, Dean looks up. "Thank you. You could've just left, but you chose to stay. And you went above and beyond. Thank you."

Dean looks away and stands, trying to play it off with a wave of his hand. "Nah, it was nothing."

"It was everything," Cas says stepping forward, placing a beckoning hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean finally looks at him with a barely-there smile and a gaze that wants to escape, but he fights for it to stay on Castiel's face. Cas is glad he does, because he needs Dean to see, understand, how grateful he is.

"I uh... I got you these." Dean reaches for a paper bag on the coffee table, and that's when Cas takes his hand off his shoulder. "Some movies."

"Such as?"

"Mostly anime porn," Dean says, and Cas is doing it again, the chuckling/eye roll/head shake combo. "And some stuff I like to watch when I'm not doing great."

"Well, for me that would be documentaries."

"Wait." Dean blinks. "What? What did you say?"

"Documentaries. Preferably environmental, or perhaps historical in nature."

"No way, you're not gonna believe this," Dean says, a bit too much surprise on his face. "This is insane dude, check this out..."

He reaches into the bag, and Cas half believes he's about to pull out a copy of Disney's Earth. He's delighted to be wrong.

"Roadhouse."

Cas laughs again, and the beaming smile on Dean's face is what convinces him. He is definitely going to marry this guy.

[2-cute-4-school]

𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚢, 𝚎𝚡𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜/𝚘

a/n: hiiiii so i decided to make this a 2in1 reaction; basically i just put together 2 of my requests that were *in my opinion* closely related. hope y’all don’t mind and enjoy!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅

requested by annonies: ‘Hey.. could you please do nct dream reaction to s/o having high fever and just wants cuddls? 🥺 like how would they take care of them.. make it fluffy please.’ & ‘nct dream reaction to their s/o being EXTREMELY tired and then like ummmmm cuddling and stuff maybe?? *uwuing in the distance*’

Mark Lee

okay but just imagine this (๑◕︵◕๑)

cuddle sessions when you’re both stretched thin and overworked

even though we all know he isn’t big on skinship i think he would throw all reticence out the window when it’s crystal clear that you both NEED each other ꒰๑˃͈꒳˂͈๑꒱ﾉ*ﾞ̥

so you just crawl under the bankets into his arms and you both just lay together in silence just enjoying each other’s presence

bonus points if he runs his hand through your hair and you trace shapes with the pads of your fingers on his skin (´,,•ω•,,)♡

it would probaby take a couple of lazy kisses and if you’re really really soft he might just hum some song lowly in your ear

just a lil heads up:

you ain’t getting out of his arms ‘til next morning so better hope you peed beforehand and have a bottle of water in reach (ಠ‿↼)

the only thing that would make him get up without a second thought?

if you’re feverish because of your exhaustion

his worry wouldn’t allow him to settle down until he’s 110% sure he made everything in his power to keep you comfortable 

“cold towels, water, painkillers just in case, is there anything i’m forgetting? babe, should i make you some tea-”

“mark, you know what would make me feel SO much better?”

“huh?” ｢(ﾟ<ﾟ)ﾞ??

“CUDDLES, BABE, CUDDLES!!” (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

you don’t have to say that twice, your man is tucking you into his side in an instant flash ain’t got nothing on mark, he’s a man on a mission

he’ll try to stay awake long enough to make sure you’ve fallen asleep properly since he knows your fever won’t go away without proper rest

might hover over you the next morning too!! ( ≧Д≦)

Huang Renjun

this boy would FRET like CONSTANTLY

especially if you develop a fever 

he keeps piling up a lot of stuff in your room, anything he deems would be potentially helpful at some point is surrounding your bed

“jun, why tf is a cactus on my nightstand?” Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

“what if haechan walks through the door?”

“... understandable” ¯\_( ◉ 3 ◉ )_/¯

your room looks like a deposit at this point and you’ve tried to drag him to bed more times than you can count

but he’s restless ༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽

until your frustration topples over and you’re on the verge of tears as you ask him for ✨cuddles ✨

he might actually feel bad for not joining you earlier so he’s gonna be EXTRA soft with you enjoy it while you can

he’s gonna pepper kisses all over you as he encases you in his lil arms and nuzzles his face into the crown of your head (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

he’s ready to offer free massages or head scratches!!!! LIMITED OFFER DON’T MISS OUT!!!

also he’s ready for literally anything

fever? medicine and wet towels nearby. thirst? 4 bottles of water AND gatorade. hunger? your favourite take out is waiting. any intruders? cactus is right by his hand. cuddles? CUDDLES!!!!! (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶”

i think he’ll probably stay up even after you fell asleep, reading about how exhaustion affects one’s body and how to help i just think he’s a really wholesome person despite his all ‘don’t talk to him he angy’ character

but he’s still SO attentive to you!!

he’s down to anything that would make you feel better and if that means 20 hours of non stop cuddling so be it (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

Lee Jeno

i think he’d be REALLY clingy with you even in normal circumstances kind of like how he’s with mark ya know

so your affected well-being will just give him an extra reason to evolve to his ULTIMATE LEVEL OF PHYSICAL AFFECTION◝( ′ㅂ`)و ̑̑

he won’t let you lift A FINGER

my man is cuddling you even while standing up (灬 ♡ ω ♡ 灬)

he’s also going to insist on carrying you anywhere even if it’s just from the bed to the bathroom this boi is strong you have no excuse to shy away from him he won’t let you

you have no chance at escaping him btw his arms are made of iron when it comes to cuddles good luck prying them off you

and even though he’s clearly focusing on your requested cuddles, he’ll ask you from time to time if you need anything, how you’re feeling, if you’re comfortable

lowkey uses the excuse of checking your temperature to give you endless forehead kithes cuz he can (*＾∀ﾟ)ъ

he also becomes kind of hyperaware of every little move you make

you shiver? he’s cocooning you in yet another blanket. you’re becoming restless? he adjusts your cuddling position until you’re fully comfortable.

NOTHING gets past him ┌༼ σ ‸ σ ༽┐

idk why but i have a hunch that jeno sleeps like a rock

so if he happens to fall asleep too and you need to get up? pfft yeah sure better call for a crane to lift you up from the bed  ૮( ᵒ̌ૢꇴᵒ̌ૢ )ა｡

he’s also going to be EXTREMELY cranky if anyone dares interrupt your extended cuddle session this is strictly ‘only y/n and jeno time’

he might also entertain you with a few pictures of his cats if you’re feeling soft or ugly pictures of his members if you need a good laugh

would totally recommend leaving yourself in jeno’s care!! ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

Lee Haechan

he would LIVE for your cuddle sessions (●♡∀♡))

despite that, he WOULDN’T STAND you being uncomfortable for a single second if he can do something against that

i think he’s the type of person who wouldn’t leave even the smallest of papercuts untreated when it comes to his partner so exhaustion? fever? yeah no. frickin. way. ┐(;Ծ⌓Ծ;)┌

and after he’s absolutely sure he has everything you might need nearby and put a cold cloth on your forehead and made sure you were hydrated and well fed

he finally climbs into bed with you and just SMOTHERS the shite outta you i’m not even kidding ꒰๑*´ᗜ`*꒱*›◡‹꒱꒱

he’s full on *leech mode*, kisses and nuzzles and gentle caresses

and best part of the package? this man is a walking spotify premium!!

you get to choose whatever song you want and switch with no ads and he has no complaints since his payment is already made in cuddles

you thought this was the end of it?? SIKE

also an entertainment king!!  ୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨

we all know he probably has shit on all of the members and he’s not shy to do some harmless story telling to put you in a good mood

so just imagine and try coming up with anything better

sleepy you engulfed in the sunshine himself’s arms, tightly cradled against him with his soothing honey voice murmuring and humming to you and only you ˭̡̞(◞⁎˃ᆺ˂)◞*✰

his protective side might surface too btw

no one is allowed near you and if someone somehow managed to bother you? oh hell naw  🙃

now they’re on hyuck’s black list good luck mate

his babie gets the royalty treatment in those times guaranteed

Na Jaemin

he’s a doting boyfriend either way i think we can all agree on that

but you clinging to him and asking for cuddles? you not feeling well?

yeah not on his watch mother hen in action part the sea (ﾉ･ｪ･)ﾉ

i don’t think he’d panic tho, his only struggle would be postponing the cuddles you’re asking for while he prepares something to eat and a tea and fluffs up the pillows and blankets he’s gathered (oꆤ︵ꆤo)

but once he’s done?

yeah you’re bundled in a mountain of softness and most importantly? our cuddle bug jaemin (♡ >ω< ♡)

he’ll keep you propped up against his chest while he feeds you himself, proper care is something unskippable in his agenda

but after that any cuddling position is FREE REAL ESTATE!!

anything his baby wants, his baby gets ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ

but for the sake of his mental stability he’d prefer to be in a position from where he can see you

boi is too worried to let you out of his sight so he’s aiming to be the big spoon or facing you directly 三 ( ◜◡‾)っ)⁰▿⁰)

he’ll help you fall asleep in any way he can

he’ll caress your back, your arms, he’ll softly massage your neck and shoulders, he has a playlist ready for sleepy moods

he is PREPARED ٩(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

he checks your temperature every so often and he grumbles with a pout if it doesn’t seem to be going down

but if it comes down to it he won’t hesitate to ask someone to bring some medicine and if your exhaustion and/or fever doesn’t relent he’ll insist on getting checked by a doctor

it would break his heart to see you so weak and no ammount of cuddles could repair it until he sees you up and healthy again (◕⌓◕;)

but he’ll do all the pampering in the world so don’t worry

Zhong Chenle

i think he would hesitate at first but only because he’s kinda scared he’ll only make it worse and he WOULDN’T want that ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

eventually i guess he’d step out to call his mum for help before he pulls some bull like ‘let’s do some math it’s gonna be fun’ and you lose your shit like no thanks fam i wanna live (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

he’ll listen RELIGIOUSLY to his mum’s advice 

makes you some chamomile exactly how you like it, probably pulls together something small to eat but won’t force you

what he will force you to take is some medicine you ain’t dying on his watch (๑･`▱´･๑)

and most importantly... DAEGAL CUDDLES!!!! imagine getting to cuddle every nctzen’s bias

he might get *a little* jelly tho if you pay too much attention to her tho

so he makes up some dumb excuse about dog hair aggravating your fever or some dubious other reason why you have to let go of his puppy and cuddle HIM!! ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)

he’ll do that cute thing where he leans his forehead against yours to check your temperature he has to be extra until the end

and before you go to sleep he’ll  try to prod at you to tell him what caused you to be so exhausted that you developed a fever might nag at you too about how unheathy it is to let it get to that point

he just wants to help okay? baby is worried in his own way ( •́ ∧ •̀ )

if there’s ANYTHING he can do to help consider it done by the time you wake up he’ll ALWAYS go an extra mile for you

and chenle wants to make sure you are aware of that and can lean on him so it never gets to this point again

but for the time being... it’s cuddles and relaxation time!! ✧(๑✪д✪)۶

better believe he’s already preparing a spa day for both of you to enjoy like the  ✨spicy ✨ bitches you are

Park Jisung

his heartbeat accelerates

and unfortunately it’s not because he’s flustered shame (#ﾟﾛﾟ#)

his only thought when he sees you with bag under your eyes and a cold wet cloth on your forehead is ‘shit, they’re dying wait no censor the first part i can’t get my mouth washed with soap but... poop, they’re dying’

ONE step away from calling for an ambulance or morgue in his mind

he SWEARS he’ll let you teach him how to ride a bycicle as long as you get out of this safe and sound (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

he’s a bit of a mess, but he’s your cute mess

it would take *quite* a bit of reassurance that you’re going to be fine after a good night’s sleep and some jisung time for him to somewhat relax

his cheeks will flush once he curls himself around your form no matter how many times you’ve cuddled before

but once you sigh blissfully once he wraps his arms around you, it’s game over for him ε=(｡♡ˇд ˇ♡｡）

he MELTS against you

he’ll caress your head and gently scratch your scalp, lays kisses on your cheeks/forehead/crown of your head

but he will also fret every time you toss and turn or you make any sound that seems ‘distressed’ to him

we all know he can sleep anywhere under a frickin carpet so he won’t have any problems adjusting to whatever works for you since all that matters to him atm is that you’re comfortable (♡ >ω< ♡)

he just wants you to get better faster

he’ll talk to you in a hushed voice, encouraging and praising you and assuring you that once you’re all better he’ll help you with whatever you need and EVERYTHING will be well in the end ٩(ó｡ò۶ ♡)

he’s a senstitive person so he just wants to be there for you in any shape and form he can be

[ereborne]

Get to know me better!

Tag 10 people you want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag:  @soundsfaebutokay  Thank you, Abby!!  I hope you’re having fun with these!

Relationship status:  single

Favorite color(s):  I like really dark blues and greens

Favorite food:  spinach, which I know is controversial, I have heard.  But I love creamed spinach and spanakopita too much to change my answer

Song stuck in my head:  I said on the last one that the last song I played was “Stormy Weather”, and that’s because I’ve had Etta James songs playing in the back of my head since I woke up this morning.  At Last-Stormy Weather-Sunday Kind of Love back and forth all day.  All I Could Do Was Cry. 

Last thing you googled:  “Portuguese Water Dog”, but it turns out what I was actually thinking was ‘Chesapeake Bay Retriever’.  Not actually that similar as dogs, but the cadence fooled me

Time:  12:20 a.m.

Dream trip:  ah, this answer flips back and forth depending on how homesick I am, and whether I’m homesick for place or people.  I’d like to show my brothers the Painted Desert, but also I want to see my southern Appalachians again, and I really want to see my friends.  I’m thinking about SC today

Last thing you read:  I answered this one too thoroughly on the last post.  I just finished Artificial Condition, and I’m on to Rogue Protocol now

Last book you enjoyed reading:  instead of talking again about how much I love Murderbot (it’s a ton) or how distressed I am by not having all of edge of providence yet (also a ton) I’m gonna go back earlier this week and say Ruby Fever by Ilona Andrews and Got The Whole Damn Nation On Their Knees by @ialpiriel

Last book you hated reading:  oh man. I don’t want to list specifics or name names, but I had a friend pass me this--not a paranormal romance, right, because that to me implies a level of fun with the genre which this story adamantly refused to have.  so a contemporary romance, but within a magical realism setting, I suppose--and it was. joyless is too simple a word.  It was dreary. Dour. Not even pessimistic so much as apathetic to the point of pain. A book growing bedsores.  The leads were indifferent to one another at the beginning and hardly better by the end, with a brief estrangement caused by an even briefer argument in the middle.  The ‘resolution’ of their argument was a third party telling them it didn’t matter, at which point they both shrugged and conceded.  The most passionless nothing book I’ve ever read.  Its one saving grace was the existence of winged snakes within the world.  Not that we got to see one close up, so to speak, but they did exist.  1/10, point goes entirely to the bare concept of snakes with wings.

Favorite thing to cook/bake:  muffins!  I love muffins.  We’ve got a tub of melted ice cream in the fridge waiting for Nick to have time off so we can make abomination muffins, so that’ll probably happen next, but last week I made chocolate chunk banana muffins, and we recently got a jar of pandan spread, so probably the next real muffins I make will incorporate that somehow.  I think I’d mess up the lovely texture of it if I tried to do a filling, so maybe just vanilla-wheat muffins, and then we’ll split them and put the spread on while they’re warm

Favorite craft to do in your free time:  I’ve been whittling, sort of.  Wax, not wood, which is much easier on my knife (and hands) and means I can just melt all my misshapen lumps back together and start over once I finish

Most niche dislike:  bars/restaurants with bowls of peanuts everywhere.  I’m not the only person allergic to the stupid things, and anyway even for folks who aren’t poisoned by them and even folks who like them, doesn’t the constant smell-taste of them get into your other foods?  Is it not annoying?

Opinion on circuses:  I don’t know that I’ve ever actually been to one.  The well-run ones seem very cool, though, and I love ren faires, so probably I’d enjoy a circus

Do you have any sense of direction:  not inherently, but I can keep cardinal directions by looking at the sun, and I’m very good at retracing my steps, so I can sort of fake one

Tell us about your D&D character:  the most recent one I came up with is probably my witch with the little mimic familiar, but I haven’t gotten to play any in ages :(

Tag-list (you don’t need to do this if you don’t want it!):  this time I am gonna tag folks, mostly because I want to hear y’all talk about what you’ve been reading and such:  @lynne-monstr, @alwaysboth, @uswe, @datassdiaz, @agirlnamedhagrid, @zahnie, @sunkentowers, @ialpiriel, @irrigone, @angelrtsy95, @digsdigsdigs, @goingsparebutwithprecision this is getting very long, please everyone assume I would like to hear from you but also no worries if you don’t wanna

[hircinesanters]

Joining the Pack

Haha lmaaao imagine I wrote a thing of the aftermath of Lyari’s first werewolf transformation tehe ok here y’all go

The voice came from very far away, swirling into Lyari’s unconsciousness like an echo from an empty well. It swirled and swirled until he could grab hold of it, take it in his grip and pull himself up into wakefulness.

Aela stood above him, her delicate features hardened in concern. Lyari had always considered her face more delicate than she made it seem, under her furrowed brow and cold expression,?she had an…interesting beauty about her, like a wildflower.

“Hey, are you awake?” She shoved him.

Pain ripped through Lyari’s body, an intense soreness in every muscle and joint. He could hardly move from it, and simply lay there watching her.

“Sore huh?” Aela assumed. “I was starting to think you might never come back.”

The half-elf groaned, heart beginning to pound hard in his throat once again.

“Come back?” He felt sick as he spoke, like a bad hangover or he had eaten something strange.

“Your’s was not an easy transformation, but you’re still alive, so congratulations!” Her tone sounded anything but congratulatory.

Lyari sat up quickly, jolting his already lopsided insides. Aela immediately reached out and steadied him by the shoulders as he wobbled. It was then that he noticed he was no longer wearing his armor, or his under-garments for that matter. The only thing separating his exposed areas from Aela was a fur blanket that had been draped over him.

“L-let go I’m…I’m gonna-”

Luckily Aela’s reflexes were fast enough, and she was able to dodge the first heave for Lyari as he vomited up what little contents of his stomach he had left. Something…bad had happened, something really really bad. Worse than waking-up-in-someone-else’s-be-and-not knowing-how bad. He was almost dreading to ask the question, because part of already knew. It had felt like a nightmare, maybe it was one. He remembered searing pain, like his flesh ripping apart and all his bones shattering at once. Screaming and screaming and screaming…then horrible hunger, he had never been hungrier in his life. Sinking his teeth into tender flesh and-

He heaved again, though nothing came of it. With a grunt and a few coughs he sat up again, wiping sweat of his forehead. God it was all like a fever dream.

“My clothes…my armor, wh-where am I? What happened?” He found himself asking the question before processing what he was even saying.

Aela nodded silently, seating herself on the ground next to him. It was her way to show she cared he supposed…

“You were born into the pack, brother.” She explained. “The first time is always the most…intense. Gave us even more trouble than Farkas did at his first turning.” She chuckled a bit at the mention of Farkas.

“Farkas!” Lyari exclaimed. He suddenly stood, grabbing the blanket at the last minute to shield himself as he wobbled on unsteady legs. “Where’s Farkas? I-I need him I need to see him h-he-where is he?” His voice was trembling, backing away like a dog with it’s tail between its legs. He was like a boy calling for his mother.

“Woah woah! Calm down brother. He’s fine, he’s back at Jorrvaskyr.” She held up her empty palms to show she meant no harm as she approached him.

Lyari looked around fearfully, his headache ringing in his ears.

“We’re in the forest by the riverside, near Windhelm. You ran off after killing a guard and I went after you.”

“I killed a guard?!” Lyari began to tremble. Breath catching in his throat and stalling out in wheezes as tears began overflowing down his stained cheeks.

He began pacing, muttering to himself under his breath. Things Aela could catch as “oh no no no” and “this cant be happening.” She marched forward and took him by the shoulder, shaking him a bit.

“Get yourself together Lyari!” She commanded.

The half-elf shrank into himself under her gaze.

“So what if you killed that guard! His purpose served you more, he was your first prize! Your first hunt! He trembled in your glory, and so you devoured him! Such is the power of the wolf, of the beast in us! You have been given a gift! Now is not the time to be ungrateful!”

Lyari looked back at her with eyes full of confusion, like the lost pup he was. Shaking in his own skin and gripping that blanket around his waist. His breathing began to slow however, and the tears stopped falling as he collected a bit of himself. But that look didn’t go away, that strange look of unaltered and raw fear.

Aela sighed and pat him on the shoulder before letting go. She went over to a nearby tree and pulled his backpack as well as his armor, wrapped up neatly with leather string from behind it.

“Here.” She said, attempting to sound gentle. “Get dressed.”

Lyari nodded, mute in his stare of scared obedience. Aela now realized how young he truly was. She turned around, listening as he dropped the blanket and dug into his bag.

“I need to get back.” Lyari then said, his voice still shaking. “I-I need to talk to Farkas about this.”

Aela scoffed.

“Why is that icebrain so important to you? You were screaming for him when you changed, the most he could’ve done was get in your way.”

Lyari didn’t answer, which sparked more of her curiosity.

“I know about what you and Vilkas got up to, not that I cared, but the whelps seemed to not be able to shut up about it.”

“Ria especially.” Lyari answered. “She didn’t leave me alone for 2 weeks about it.”

“Hm.” Aela raised her eyebrows at that, turning around now that she heard the sound of buckles and straps jingling.

Lyari was strapping on his his pauldrons when she turned.

“But really?” Aela asked. “Farkas isn’t quite someone I’d expect someone like you to befriend.”

Lyari shot her a look, his eyes almost ablaze. His nose and mouth wrinkled in a snarl as she spoke.

“Oh.” She understood.

Lyari suddenly looked away, his cheeks darkening.

“It’s not like that.” He defended. “He’s not dumb like you think it’s-”

Aela smiled knowingly and hummed in response, shaking her head.

“It hardly matters anyway.” She said, smile fading. “Once you’re finished, come with me. There’s much we must do.”

Lyari finished tightening his armor, daring not to argue.