#but I’m excusing myself for going through a lot rn

[valoale]

I needed to remind myself that this is a drarry blog

[callixton]

oh i am on the Brink of a mental breakdown. and like a real one. i am going to feel so so fucking terrible and guilty if i don’t go to the first week of mac rehearsal bc i need to recover but i am also getting the sense that i Need to recover. i have never been this burnt out or genuinely terrified of starting a new semester in my life.

[kavehayati]

I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way

[starleska]

[stepping over the picket fence from my backyard into your backyard, like I’ve learnt anything about Despicable Me or Maxime since my last ask besides it is, indeed, the masc “le Mal” and not the feminine “la Mal”]

Hi, hey, howdy, don't worry about getting to this ask quickly or replying or anything, you take care of yourself, do what you need to do, do what you want to do 💕 I'm going on a thought experiment, a couple of thought experiments. <3 

but I was pondering my orb or taking a four hour nap or whatever you wanna call it and like. Is flustered, needy Maxime a new concept???? Not something that’s been greatly considered????? Bc tbh, he always gave me those vibes. For some reason. Like “Oh yeah, of COURSE he’s clingy and embarrassed and blushy and etc etc”. I’m not even sure why I was so sure but it just felt right. 💖 Surely…I wasn’t…projecting any type of …”personal biases” upon himAHEM so sorry, allergies. 

That big coat is for hiding and he totally can just, dissappear in there and hide from the world. He could pull the coat up and his head in and hope he can cover how read his face is. Like don't look at him rn, he's so vulnerable and uncomfortable about it bc he's used to being so big and impervious, but also don't go away, bc he likes you sm and this is so nice and he loves being adored. But also it's so much!!!!!!!!! Vicious cycle.

I'm a Blushy Needy Maxime truther. Or liar. I'll leave it to the people who've actually seen the movie to decide. Just the bigger the ego, the harder they fall, thats what I always say. Don't fact check that. 

What do you reckon flusters him most? Nice words? Physical affection? Teasing? Gifts? All of the above? I feel like it could be anything. 👀 or maybe it’s none of the above. 

Maybe I underestimate him, maybe he's got better composure than I assume, but every set of armor has a weakness! Anyone can get flustered, Maxime can get flustered, and tbh he probably should get flustered. Where there’s a will there’s a way! …Maybe Valentina would help. Either way I KNOW THAT GUY IS GETTING FLUSTERED I know it 

Accidentally a little overboard with the teasing and flustering and he gets all in a huff, giving the cold shoulder. You gotta say you’re sorry and wrap your arms around him, and in an ideal world he’d hold strong to his grudge until he felt you’ve paid your dues, but he can’t help but melt into your embrace. He compromises, turning back to you, burying his still-hot face into you and refusing to look at you instead. His arms tight around you, not letting you go even long after you assume all is well. His ire is still on you, you know! You owe him a lot for all that trouble you put him through! And besides, he still feels lightheaded from all this blood rushing to his face. You must let him stay in your soft, supportive embrace for just a moment longer. You wouldn’t turn him out now, would you? After you did this to him?  For shame. 

(He is Not intending to let you go anytime soon, he is making up all the excuses)

…hm…I may be talking in circles and not saying much of anything. I also feel like I’ve Greatly Exposed myself today. I gotta go disinfect my ear piercings…I gotta wash my neckties….I gotta refill my mint essential oil diffuser to keep away…the….the bugs…ahem…I gotta make a Pokémon team for Normal Reasons. 

I'm also once again coming to you cold, literally standing next to an actual oven for warmth like a Victorian child when my jacket is on a chair literally just one Maxime away. I’ve Got to GO. I CANT KEEP BEING LET OUT OF CONTAINMENT LIKE THIS. Thank you for listening to my TEDTalk/hostage situation. If anyone asks, I was never here. Take care, you’re great <3 

[Runs away, jumping fences like I committed a crime here.]

not you dropping an entire three course meal and dessert into my askbox, á la mode!!!!!!! 🙈💖💖 for someone who claims they don't know anything about Maxime, you certainly have put a lot of thought into this message...😉

you know, at the time you sent this ask I would've said that flustered, needy Maxime is a new concept, but we've had an amazing wave of art for him over the past week and there's so much of him being all cute and blushy 🙈🙈💖💖 i think it's that he is so easily angered and hates being called cute…he's total fluster-bait!!! we NEED to make him blush 🥺 AAAAA ohhh my god the idea of him wrapping his coat around himself and hiding is so soft!!!! no no you are SO onto something because Maxime is so horribly arrogant and confident, he's a bully who loves the spotlight and desperately wants attention…so wouldn't it be interesting to finally hit that sweet spot and get him wanting to hide? i really do think overt affection like that would make him curl up, and if you did it in a pointed enough way, his face would light up like a traffic light 🥰💖 i think that Maxime is probably really unprepared for anyone who is able to match his energy. he's looking down at you all heavy-lidded, boasting about himself and casually belittling you, but you shoot back with a well-aimed flirtation and it just. hits him like a truck. his cheeks warm, he starts to stammer. he desperately tries to recover, but he's actually looking for an out because he needs to find somewhere to breathe and quiet his beating heart 👀💖 YOU ARE CORRECT Valentina would so get involved!!! you've probably seen us talk about Valentina a bit before, and our wishes that she'd had more dialogue/character development in the movie…but two things that are very canon about Valentina is that she loves cute things, and she also thinks MAXIME is really cute 👉👈 i am certain that behind closed doors those two lavish all kinds of attention on each other, and Valentina turns Maxime tomato-red every time!!!! squealing no no no please don't be embarrassed i LOVE this!!!! gahhhh i adore that quick possessive flip from being so embarrassed and curling in on himself to it being something where he desperately wants to keep you, he can't let you go…!!! oh, my heart 😳😳😳 it's going to sound so silly given all of the stuff i've made for Maxime and being a selfshipper but i adore him so much that i STILL get so incredibly squirmy even trying to imagine any degree of one-on-one discussion with him, let alone contact…!!!! it's taken me a week to answer this ask for exactly that reason 🙈💖 so THANK YOU for fueling my brain i am going to chew through my hoodie sleeves now 😳😳😳 cackles. are we both sufficiently dead now? did you manage to do all of those convenient excuse-related things (including making the Pokémon team which i would LOVE to hear about)? 👀 it's OKAY lovely, open yourself up!!! there are no rules when it comes to loving characters - who says we can't adore many at once?! 🥰 thank you for always sending the loveliest, most interesting asks!! i've been mulling over this one for a hot minute and it's really, really cheered me up after a tough month, so big big hugs 🫂💖💖

[hyperfixationstati0n]

I JUST SAW YOUR POST OML I NEED TO REQUEST FOR BILLY THE KID:

SO like a coryo x lucy gray inspired pic where the reader is a singer and gets billy's attention as he only comes to the bars to see her performances. they like each other, start seeing each other, making out in the back or something idk you're so talented i'm sure you'll write something amazing

anon. i love you. so much. hand in marriage. rn. (i hope this does your idea justice pooks)

Word count: 936

…………………………………..………………………………………

It started when Billy wandered his way into your town. At this point, most people had an idea of who he was. The infamous outlaw rode in, looking for a place to stay and somewhere to get a drink. luckily for him, he only had to make one stop to find both. After paying for his room, he wanders down to the bar. He orders a whisky, shooting it back before ordering another. But right when he brings the glass to his lips, someone-you-catch his attention.

You’re at your space, the small little stage this saloon had configured for you, with your guitar. This was your place. Hell, you’d been performing there since forever. You’d become a local celebrity at this point. You’re smiling and playing, most people there being regulars and knowing you. You smiled as they all cheered when you came out, someone going as far as to hand you a bottle of liquor. You laugh and take a long swig before passing it back to the man who’s given it to you.

“oh it’s to clear my pipes, y’all, to clear my pipes. Now who’s ready to have a good time?”

He leans forward and puts his glass back down on the counter, the liquid left untouched. His eyes glow in the dim candle light. There’s only one word to describe him-entranced.

And when you catch sight of him in the middle of a song, it’s all you can feel too.

You’re popular though, everyone wanted to talk to you. You got swarmed with compliments and tips and free drink offers before you can even make it off stage. And by the time you do, he’s gone.

That’s not the last time you see him though. Every single night for the next week you see him in the same spot, untouched glass next to him. Probably just an excuse to be there. Now, you figured out who he was through the gossip of the town. But…you didn’t know an outlaw could be so attractive. Or so shy, it seems. Even on quieter nights he never came up to talk to you. You got sick of it by day 6. You wanted to know what this infamous “Billy the Kid”’s deal was. After your show, you rush out the back door before anyone can catch you (under the ruse that you were putting your guitar away). You’d seen him wander around back there a few times, and this was your plan of catching him. Figuring out why he came here every night to ogle you but never even introduce himself.

And it seems you caught him at the right time, because in your rush to get out the door you run head first into him. You feel a pair of strong arms catching you by the waist to put you back on your feet.

“Woah there, honey. You alright?” His voice was low and gravelly, but in the way that pulled you in more. Your eyes flash up to him. He was even prettier up close than he was from your view on stage. It takes you a moment to stop staring and speak, although it was hard to do so until he retreated his hands from your waist.

“I’m-I’m fine. Sorry i ran into you.” You say with a breathless smile. But you can tell he’s about to walk off politely so you speak before he can. “I notice you here every night. You…always leave before i get around to you.”

He stops and you swear you can see a blush cross his cheeks, although it was pretty dark out at that point so there was no way to be sure.

“You’ve got a lot of fans, it seems. I don’t want to waste your time.”

You tilt your head, smiling but also uttering confused.

“I think I can decide for myself how to waste my time.”

This earns a smile from him. That you can tell even in the dark, because you can hear it in his voice.

“Well ok then,” He starts, hesitating. Like he’s thinking over the next thing he has to say, even though it’s only two words. “I’m Billy.”

“Yeah, I know” You say with a smooth chuckle. “I’m Y/N.”

You got lost in the blue of his eyes that night.

…………………………………..………………………………………

So, you were glad he stuck around for awhile. He came to every one of your shows, and now he actually didn’t avoid you when they were over.

When you’re done socializing you meet him in your usual spot out back. He scoops you up in a hug, kissing your cheek sloppily before putting you back down and leaning you against the wall. He keeps his hand behind your head, not wanting your hair to get messed up on the wood.

“Hi, Billy” You say sweetly, eyes wide and full of adoration. He uses the hand holding your head to tilt it up to his.

“Hi, songbird” He replies, using the nickname he coined for you. It always made you blush. “Great show tonight. As always.”

You blush even more and lean forward, nudging your nose with his.

“Needy” He teases, kissing the tip of your nose instead of where you clearly wanted him.

“Shut up.”

You pull him in by the collar of his shirt. He chuckles against your lips before reciprocating, cradling your body in his arms to keep you close. You’d learned that he wasn’t all people made him out to be. He was sweet. Gentle. And, he was yours. He’d made that much clear.

Billy pulls away and presses a kiss to your forehead before looking into your eyes once more.

You’d be getting lost in the blue of his eyes for a long time.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

I need help, my life is now a living hell. (TW suicide attempt mention)

I know this is gonna annoy a lot of you for bitching and whining again but as of late my life has been really hard. I had to sell my soul and my life to a demon against my will. There is a toxic parasite I want to cut ties with but can’t. I am talking about a toxic family member who has no respect for boundaries and loves to judge and be rude to everyone around her.

I just really need some help rn guys because at this rate it really feels like I can either endure and sacrifice my sanity for as long as she lives or I could only ever end it via suicide. I have tried to do it twice while she was down and my mother has to hide away medication so I don’t overdose and sharp things such as knives and scissors when her new favourite person ever, her karen on steroids sister is here.

To paint a picture there is a story about when I was a baby with my cousin and toxic aunt. My toxic aunt would use grandma ( her mother) as a slave whenever she came to visit her grandson. “Now that you’re here I want you to do EVERYTHING for him while I go and bitch and whine about coffee and ask to see managers (I’m not joking. She literally does that. Saw it multiple times when she stays with us.). Whilst my Mom would offer to do fun activities with her and us, like go to the beach, etc. Because of this she enjoyed our company more than my toxic aunt who threw a tantrum over it. “You love my sister’s daughters more than my son!”. She got so pissed that she moved out of our place during a vacation. Mother offered to have my cousin and grandma to play in the pool with me and my sister whilst she helped my toxic aunt pack. She EXPLODED over that! Why? Idk. She then stormed into the house screaming and it woke baby me up and I was sobbing. Dad got mad and told her to get out and we had nothing to do with her until grandma died.

She hasn’t changed at all. Very toxic, always complaining and saying horrible things behind our backs. I had multiple extreme meltdowns when she came. She stayed for four whole months last year. One summer, one spring, one for every season. She has this rule too where only she is allowed to talk, all she does to complain and she gets weirdly excited when someone else is struggling…she loves to happily talk about others misfortunes and then she finds no joy in going to the beach and going out for lunch. Instead she complains constantly and it ruins the whole day. Mother told me she says the most horrible things about me behind my back too…which gets her upset but she puts up with it because she is going through a divorce. We put up with her rude behaviour out of pity. I understand how hard getting divorced is but it shouldn’t excuse…whatever the fuck she is doing to us. Mother and I got into extreme arguments because of her as well and we rarely fight. My toxic aunt turns my parents against me. I’m freaking out because she is going to come down again.

Last time she claimed to be more respectful of our boundaries. “We don’t have to do something every day, I’m ok to hang out by myself every now and then.” Then she guilt trips us by saying “I don’t know why I bother coming down here if I’m going to be alone.” Over me wanting to spend ONE fucking weekend alone with my mom out of an ENTIRE month of her hovering around us and never shutting up. She also loves to interrupt. I would be in the middle of saying something and she cuts in as if I’m worth nothing! Then I can’t even say anything because she never shuts up ever! Then when I am blessed with a moment of talking (usually because mother says Izzy has something to say) I get nervous about saying something she will judge me for!

She belittles every trigger of mine too. Once I used to like this cafe and she has this huge obsession with their muffins. I don’t go there anymore though because some mean teenage girls work there now and they have been openly rude to me two times when I visited. So rude I ended up crying once. I didn’t want to go back (keep in mind I have been bullied a lot as well, I have a huge fear of mean girls) My aunt gave me this huge lecture about it and tried to force me to go in just so she can get her muffins. I felt completely shattered as she gave me a hard time over it. In the end mother figured out her angle and just dropped her off there whilst I waited in the car…for her to do that though about my own experiences and my triggers and not wanting to return to a cafe with rude service…it was just so insensitive.

She used to say rude things to me because of me displaying typical autistic traits like my weird eating habits and my special obsessions. Mother made her stop saying things to my face but she told me she just says judgemental things behind my back now and she gives me this god awful judgemental stare when we go out to eat…She also shows no respect for mental illnesses such as anxiety, saying it’s not real. She also once made fun of someone who committed suicide…which shows how she isn’t really a good person. She picks at Mom and gives her a hard time and openly judges her and says rude things to her and mother always bottles it and takes it out on me in the end because the one who HAD been rude to her is going through a divorce.

I never want to have to endure her abusive behaviour again but I’m completely powerless. I feel so hopeless. Idk what to do..

[lividstar]

hello, i’ve been losing motivation to write lately and so far i have three drafts for the 10th chapter of the city of love and yet none of them have succeeded in satisfying me and i honestly just feel like i’m in too much of a bad place rn to think of a proper way to continue the fic. i’ve tried to convince myself that it’s probably because i’m busy with my studies, but i can’t use that excuse now—not when i’m literally on the second day of our long weekend break. i just feel so worried because, well, what if i end up not knowing how to continue my fic at all? and i think this calls for a break—one longer than the break i had before.

rest assured, though, because that doesn’t mean i’ll discontinue the story. thanks to the city of love, i found beauty in writing again, and not only that, i got to meet amazing people, too—particularly the people who always take the time to read my works and have always been so patient with my occasional slow updates (you guys know who you are), and over the time i’ve spent here in tumblr, i have felt nothing but appreciation from everyone, be it from your likes, reblogs, feedbacks, whatsoever.

i hate to say this, but i’m not only just going through a major writer’s block—i’ve also been dealing with a lot of things lately, so, like i said earlier, the next update for my hongjoong fic might have to take longer than usual, and i have also decided to take a break. i hope you all understand and try to be patient with me. if not, then that’s fine as well, just simply knowing you guys actually read my works is enough, as someone who nearly gave up on writing so many times due to feeling unappreciated :) lovelots!!

[blee-bleep]

Hello, I’m fairly new (you have a lot of talent, you make wonderful art) but I just saw your post about your grandma. I’m very sorry for your loss. Grief is a very difficult thing and can be very confusing when you lose someone you had a bad relationship with. I was once in such a situation too. I don’t know how it was with your grandma, but I hated that person so much. And when they left… I missed them and I didn’t understand why. After all the things they did… after everything they caused… I still cared about them. I even felt guilty. How could I care about someone like that? I used to get angry at myself every time I grieved, every time I cried. Don’t make my mistake. When we lose someone, no matter how they influenced our lives, there’s an impact. After all, they were still a part of my life, a part of my world. They were a loved one. A member of my family. It changes a lot. And after all, I knew deep down, they still had some good in their heart. After everything… they didn’t deserve to die. And maybe, the thing I missed most was the relationship I wished I had with them.

It was very hard for me to move on. To let go. And I think this is mostly because I didn’t understand that I needed to forgive them. I kept holding on to this pent up feeling of hatred. This anger. But I should have forgiven them for everything they had done. Because forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behaviour. It most certainly doesn’t justify it. It doesn’t mean what they did was okay. Forgiveness is taking the knife out of your own back and not using it to hurt anyone else. Forgive them not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. You deserve to be able to let go. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart. If you haven’t already, I think you should think about this.

And in the end, we shouldn’t see death as a bad thing, as when someone passes away, it creates another beautiful life. Like flowers dying in the winter, making place for beautiful flowers to blossom in the spring. That is, the merry-go-round of life. 

I hope you have someone to help you through these difficult times. And remind yourself that it is okay to grieve. It just shows that you have a good heart. I don’t know how it is for you right now but I hope I helped at least a little bit. Take care!

Oh and, life has many different chapters. Don’t let one bad chapter close the book.

-Sorry for the long text and all-

Thank you for this ask. i rlly needed to read it, especially abt the knife metaphor. I didnt live with my grandma as close as my other family members were but I still grew up with her, and her image is everywhere in my family (literally, my grandpa's genes are basically nonexistent). so its really hard to process how to grieve for someone you had a bad relationship with. her death esp impacted my parents and aunts, and there's a certain tension between them now.

for me, Im still learning to forgive and learn how to live without her, but rn its the guilt of not building a happier relationship with her im angry about because after all this time, she is still my grandma. this doesnt mean it justifies the horrible shit she said and done (and shes over 90!), but i feel like i can't make peace with myself when we heard that she finally passed. so thank u for your reassurance through this message. grief is truly hard

[genlossneg]

Okay so like. I didn’t have any interest in this, my boyfriend did. He’s been talking about it since the first streams, all of the stuff in it he finds cool, and how novel it is as a piece of media. He loves it, he’s dropped a lot of money on merch for it (which to be fair, the merch looks sick as hell I’m not even gonna lie), and he really wanted me to watch the founder’s cut when it came out. Well, I watched the founder’s cut and I just gotta say. It’s awful. I was so unbelievably bored, and when I wasn’t bored I was annoyed. Honestly I think the worst part for me is Slimecicle. He is remarkably unfunny, annoying, and obnoxious, and if his absolutely piss poor excuse for comedy was completely surgically removed (haha see what I did there?) it would make it a lot easier to tolerate all of the other badly done elements of it. Pretty much none of the attempted humor was funny to me. Maybe if I liked the streamers already I would have found it really funny, but I maybe exhaled out of my nostrils like 2 times total. I’m not sure what the consensus is with the Gen loss community about its humor but it did not hit for me in the slightest.

It feels like little of importance was happening for 65% of the runtime, the acting is terrible, the pacing is bad, and it’s just. It’s not even remotely good until the last like 45 minutes of the cut. I just could not bring myself to care, it felt like a constant barrage of “this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened.” Over and over. It wasn’t scary at any point, and I still, even after managing to just BARELY sit through the entire thing, don’t understand how so much money and effort went into this if this was the end product. I was not familiar with any of these streamers besides Jerma and Vinny Vinesauce, which the Founder’s Cut does woefully little with, so I had absolutely no connection to any of the characters. If there was some effort made to actually get me invested in who the characters are maybe I would have felt more positively towards it but it feels like I’m supposed to go “HOLY SHIT A STREAMER I LIKE OH MY GOD”, which might have worked if I was at all into ANY of the people here. It felt like there were no stakes and nobody was taking anything seriously until the last “act” or whatever when they’re running around the mall. I see what it’s going for, I can read into the metaphor about the dehumanizing nature of producing content for an audience and stuff, but just wow. The worst part is that I was just so bored the entire time. It feels like a “you had to be there” kind of thing, and since I wasn’t there, none of it appealed to me in any way.

I don’t know, this clearly isn’t a piece of media made for me but I spent the entire time I was watching TRYING to like it and it just was not it. Ever. At any point. The ending was okay I guess, I like it conceptually, but having Hetch (I think that’s his name, I don’t really recall and I’m not scrolling through the cut to check rn) trying to be a glorified game show host over the only bit of the end I kinda vaguely enjoyed kind of ruined it for me a little bit. Idk. Having Ranboo say “thank you�� as his head was turned into a mid at best blood effect was the only bit that made me feel much of anything besides annoyance or boredom. I like the whole concept, but pretty much every part of the execution was horrifically botched, I feel like I shouldn’t have to like the people involved already to be invested in even one of the characters. Maybe the streams were better but I just don’t have any desire to watch them.

Maybe I’m being too mean here but yeah, I basically forced myself through 2 and a half hours of some of the most amateurish “horror” content I’ve ever seen and it felt like I got very little out of the entire viewing experience besides 45 minutes of content that got dangerously close to being okay at best.

this has been sitting in my inbox since the founders cut came out and i was going to respond to it once i watched it but clearly that is not happening anytime soon, so i can't speak to that specific experience but i definitely think watching it live added to the experience at least a little since the audience had a lot of chances to make decisions which kept it at least a little engaging. im not shocked the founders cut is super jumpy because they condensed a lot and the filler, while annoying, did keep the pace reasonable. i agree w a lot of your overall critiques and thanks for sharing a founder's cut take!!!

[localplaguenurse]

Ngl I forgot dottore can shapeshift(which is weird because scaramouche lore rarely slip my mind) so anyways now I can officially say dottities are Canon and anyone who says otherwise will have to pry dottities from my cold dead hands as my ghost haunts their very existence.

I’m just saying Dottore would look good in drag also I just remembered what I wanted to say about gingko trees

So the title Gold As The Gingko Trees

Gold- soft precious metal

Ginkgo trees- common symbol of longevity

Ok besides the fact that gingko leaves are golden so ha ha gold as the gingko trees ha ha get it? Gold? Like the leaf?

Next soft and precious metal aka gold, soft and precious should be obvious it’s wifey, but metal? Well that’s obviously their connection to Morax, who is the god of geo, commerce, mora, and ceo of being broke as fuck certified Amber lord with sexy eyes.

Gingko trees. Longevity. Another dot that didn’t connect until yesterday after I got shampoo in my eyes, well there’s two meanings here. First is wifey’s marriage to our ceo of terrible money management, they’ve been married for let’s round it off to 4000 years for simplicity sake and yes yada yada immortals change slow, but seriously this man and his wife are in a committed relationship for 4000 years if that isn’t longevity of a relationship and the love of one person to another then idk what is. Next Wifey’s lifespan, now I don’t remember the specifics because if I go back and read it again now the words are gonna get jumbled up and ao3 doesn’t support my accessibility settings unless I download the fic which btw can I download your fics and put them in my emergency food folder in case ao3 goes down again anyways so I’m going purely off memory here but after Morax did the sexy bite of 87 but it was consensual unlike the bite of 87 and certainly one less death. Wifey now shares the same life span (or in my personal opinion “live longer” as in Morax would erode first before wifey just because he’s so much older and therefore have more bad memories to erode him and maybe one day I’ll tell you more about Morax eroding away but this is not the ask for it rn) oh my god tumblr is lagging if this gets deleted I’ll hurl okay so yeah second meaning of longevity is that wifey gets to live longer

So yeah other than the surface level meaning of the title I also love the more deeper meanings this has and oh my god I have to conclude this before I get forced out of the app and also I went brain to fingers with no filter so excuse any mad ramblings in between

Tldr I love the effort you put into this fic have a fennec

Love is stored in the fennec fox ears.

I love your take on the title a lot! Honestly the only problem is that in canon the two have only been married for 2000 years, but that’s still a long ass time, and let’s be honest, those two would still be hand in hand when the sun explodes if they’re lucky to live that long. You hit the nail on the head with the longevity thing, but it’s also because of this one story I read about six ginkgo trees in Hiroshima. The place had been nuked, but six ginkgo trees had survived and from what I can see, are still going. They can live up to 3000 years. That’s why I had that part at the end where Zhongli tells Childe about how ginkgo trees are a symbol of hope and strength, and how they fit wifey very well. They’ve been through a lot, and they still prospered.

So the thing about wifey’s lifespan is that they’re sharing it with Morax. I didn’t focus too much on what that actually means beyond wifey will live past their human life expectancy so long as Morax is alive. It’s mainly because the specifics weren’t super important at the time, just served as an explanation for why wifey’s still around in canon time, and so I could avoid the whole “immortal outlives lover” trope because I told myself I was gonna end this nicely. I need y’all to know though that I’ve been very tempted to write something for when Zhongli begins to erode, but I have a character sheet to make for a Strahd campaign and a divorce fic chapter to get to. So yeah, maybe I’ll save it for another ask :)

Dottore would look good in drag but do you know who would look great in drag? Pantalone. I take no criticism, argue with the wall, he would be a glamourous bitch.

[brzatto]

I have some questions I wanted to ask :3c

I really love your Carmy drawing! You drew his sad puppy eyes and messy hair perfectly. Are you going to post any more art? 👀

I just started watching season 2 of The Bear and I was wondering how your rewatch was going. Any new thoughts after rewatching?

You're a Pacific Rim fan? 🥳 If Carmy and Richie were partners in that I feel like the Jaeger would immediately explode as soon as they were both plugged into it 😂 What are your AU thoughts?

helloooo <3

1. thank you!!!! ;_; as for posting any more art idk i doubt it >_< if i’m being honest i rarely ever draw at all and that doodle was just a one off but if i ever just so happen to do any more in the future then maybe! i’d like to get back into drawing more but the bear has pretty evidently manifested itself more in the writing side of my brain so

2. if i’m being honest i’m still on ep2 of my rewatch LMFAO every time i try and sit myself down and tell myself to watch it i end up finding an excuse to pull myself away. idk why i’m so mentally averse to it… what’s that thing called where people keep putting off things they genuinely want to do because that’s basically what’s happening rn. i do have a lot of thoughts and half formed posts in my drafts rn just from my first watch alone though i just feel like i should complete my rewatch before sharing them and then i keep… not doing that

3. i loooove pacrim it’s one of my favorite movies/universes ever. if i like a character or a pairing regardless of what the og media source is trust that i will be imagining them in a pacrim au… i’ve been toying with the idea for carmy and richie on and off in the back of my head since way back last year but i actually think it works pretty 1:1 with canon! mikey and richie being lifelong best friends and going into the pilot program together, finding out they’re drift compatible and becoming jaeger pilots together, mikey being kia, carmy always having this pipe dream of becoming a pilot and spending his childhood looking up to mikey and richie and wanting to be just like them but being deterred by something or another. maybe going through the program but because he’s naturally reserved and introverted he thinks he doesn’t have what it takes to be an actual pilot or that he’ll never be drift compatible with someone because he can’t really imagine connecting with anyone in that way. when mikey dies richie’s left in need of a partner but richie is richie so he’s not really compatible with anyone else until they offer to test carmy and lo and behold.. richie balks from it at first obviously because carmy’s just a rookie without any real experience in the field and he and mikey were pretty well established for years (if not just a little unorthodox) and internally half of him is unable to accept the idea of carmy being mikey’s replacement due to his grief and the other half of him is unable to accept carmy being mikey’s replacement due to his protectiveness of carmy (but he doesn’t mention or bring that up ever. i think their dynamics and history in pacrimverse would mirror their histories together in canon, but any genuine good intentions richie has is also probably overshadowed by his anger/resentment and he ends up lashing out a lot at the higher ups and keeping carmy at arm’s length the whole time this is happening. he’s just like.. not coping well. or at all for that matter) cue some very slow burn and mutually tentative bonding and richie always berating carmy for being “just a kid” throughout it and objecting about having him out in the field (not to his face or anything, probably not even with malicious intent or with the purpose of hurting carmy but carmy probably overhears or finds out anyways and resents him for it + feels all that self loathing and ineptitude because he knows he couldn’t live up to mikey either) and richie being given the ultimatum of either having carmy as his partner or being forced to retire but when they’re put in a tight spot they DO go out in the field together. something very dramatic and tragic happens because something dramatic and tragic is always happening in a pacrim au and it seems unlikely that they’ll both make it out and richie is adamant about carmy being the one who lives, still struggles with all that survivor’s guilt over mikey and wouldn’t be able to take going through it again, especially not with carmy. carmy of course is like… kicking and screaming and very much NOT willing to leave him behind and at the same time he’s ANGRY because all this time richie still doesn’t think of him as being capable nor does he trust carmy enough to be able to let him help and for them to go through this together. i don’t think carmy is as concerned as much about whether he lives or dies, or even really if richie lives or dies, i think whatever happens he just wants to see it through alongside richie. he wants richie to trust him, he wants them to be a team, and regardless of what happens to them he wants them to do it together meanwhile richie’s only priority is to ensure carmy walks away from this alive. at all costs.

since this isn’t necessarily a fic plot or anything just how i imagine a pacrim au for them would be like, the endings vary—richie deceives carmy/saves him against his will and has to deal with knowing he’s automatically lost all and whatever tentative trust carmy had in him leading up to this, either richie lives and he and carmy have to start again from the ground up bond wise (maybe they realize they can’t be partners after all and richie would rather retire than have to be put in a position like that again) (lawful evil end) OR carmy eventually forgives him and they work it out and continue being partners (lawful neutral end) OR richie dies and carmy’s left to deal with the survivor’s guilt instead. (neutral evil end)

alternate endings: carmy stays and saves richie instead—also up to you whether he lives or dies but in the event that carmy dies richie has to go through all that mess with mikey all over again and idk if he could like. mentally/emotionally/physically survive that (chaotic evil end) or carmy finally finally convinces richie to trust in him just this once and they combat the evil together and come out of it stronger and closer than ever (lawful good end). also if i’m being honest when i think of this au playing out in my head i surprisingly don’t think of them ever being explicitly romantic but they still have that air of weird unspoken homoerotic tension that they do in s1: richie still devastated and grieving and fighting a battle of internal conflict, carmy still rash and impulsive and oblivious, richie wanting nothing to do with carmy but still unable to stomach the mere notion of putting him at risk, carmy thinking richie is a washed up asshole but still desperately wanting his trust and approval. sometimes the pining is better ngl

[lovebvni]

hi abyss

my name is malak and i wanna know what i need to hear rn <3

if u don't wanna answer that's fine ily ♥

Hello, Malak. Your name literally means angel, and I love that. Goldwing by Billie Eilish comes to mind, for more reasons than one.

Messages You Need To Hear Right Now

“Manipulation”

The first word that came through. Someone, a masculine figure, is manipulating you and controlling you. I turned on my shufflemancy and “Producer Man” by Lyn Lapid came on. That, paired with the song Goldwing by Billie Eilish coming on is making me think you’re too open for your own good. You willingly let people in your life and let them tamper with your energy. Draining you, making you feel like shit.

You may be in the acting/singing industry, as both of these songs are about a man making an offer to a younger girl for their own gain. It could also be changing yourself for the material or for the male gaze. I see this could also apply to a relationship. [This ‘man’ could just be a masculine energy, someone who gets what they want and doesn’t care about anyone else. So, gender doesn’t matter here. Excuse me saying “he” or “this man” or anything similar throughout this reading if it applies to a woman.]

In the beginning, it started off good. It seemed like things were looking up, but it was short lived. You soon started (consciously or unconsciously) changing yourself for this male. I’m sorry to say, he never truly, deeply cared about you. Maybe for a brief moment he did, but it was based off looks or personality. He didn’t want you as a person, he didn’t want commitment, he just wanted something to ‘show off’. 212 also keeps coming up.

The manipulation is keeping you with him. I suggest for you to slowly remove your energy from him, then physically remove yourself from him. Don’t let him keep you. And if you do let him keep some of your energy, you have to detach yourself from him. “I do this for myself, not for other beings” is the affirmation I heard. Try saying it at least 10 times a day. Let it sink in, and let that reflect on the outside.

“I’m gonna be the bad guy”

I feel like this is the new energy stepping in. 4:44 as of typing this) The new you. I feel like you’re almost relevant to step into the energy. You don’t want to be a “bad guy”, but you kind of need to. You need to own yourself and your life [Nicki Minaj’s Chun-Li + a hell of a lot of orange]. It’s okay to be seen as the bad guy for a season if you’re bettering yourself.

Don’t get it twisted, this isn’t the universe saying go be a bitch to everyone you’re leaving; rather its saying to own your life and not let anyone get in the way of trying to take it back.

I love you, angel, and I hope you can let go of this horrible person easily.

As someone who’s been in multiple toxic relationships, it is easy to go back, but do the hard thing. Let go. And don’t let them lead you back.

[heartstolife]

Inktober 2024- Day 5, Binoculars

Ocean eyes~ What do you think this person is looking at through their binoculars? I already have a guess.

Also- HELLOOOO im back i haven’t died or really lost motivation in inktober or anything. Sorry for the long wait! i already did some other few drawings and I’m going to try to post some of them, i just want them all to be in the correct order and i skipped some in favor of other prompts.

If your wondering, I’m so many days behind on inktober rn, as i’ve been overloaded with homework and projects and exams (just started highschool, it’s a mess). I’m prioritizing school over this rn, so sorry if this inktober gets delayed for a bit. When the hiatus dies down (it’s near the end of the trimester so hopefully after that i’ll get freetime) i’ll find a free day to just do art all day and finish at least most of my inktober works. I’m still keeping my promise to get more than last year! i’ve resolved that much so im not letting myself down.

Oh and sorry (i’ve been saying that a lot in this post huh? swear im not canadian) if this sounds like excuses or im just complaining! It’s not anyone’s fault other than mine and I just really need to prioritize my school over an internet art challenge, and i’ll still find a way to do inktober! That much im sure!

your probably not gonna read this whole tangent but if you do, thanks for sticking to the end and have this cookie 🍪

[readysetjo]

in light of quietly losing a loved mutual a couple of weeks ago, I believe, because I don’t post enough (subjective) about what’s going on with I-/-P but also bc I post often about doing due diligence before posting/ sharing online that might come off as idk complacency(?) to some rather than my response to the shock of watching kind people be radicalized against groups of people (I won’t be specific about which groups bc I’ve seen people become sudden extremists on all sides of this issue)

but I do want to be specific about my beliefs:

1. we are seeing innocent people dying and that should be talked about loudly and it’s disgusting that a call to a ceasefire is taking so long. I have ideas on why the powers at be have made certain calls but I won’t start rumors with my conjecture. regardless the fact that Israel’s army has not called for a ceasefire despite knowing the horror it commits is a horror beyond belief.

2. Palestinians are suffering at a infinitely higher capacity at this time and our global support should be for them at this time, WITHOUT resorting to antisemitism to give our support EVER. hate is NEVER allowable

3. (personally) I tend to shut down with snuff content and seeing frequent snuff (even if not directly dead bodies but filming around it) makes me unhelpful to this cause so I don’t get involved in the posting of this issue. people aren’t numbers but I find that I am easily moved hearing of the numbers of people displaced, murdered, and tortured without seeing it. if that makes you think I’m weak, that’s okay I choose the phrasing “not desensitized” instead. I work in a hospital, started in the middle of covid, and am around death a lot so my tolerance for seeing it outside of work is probably lower than average. I do my support in private and abstain from sharing bc of the next point

4. to avoid OCD spirals on morality and my hyper-responsibility that I can get myself into, I say affirming phrases to the extent of “everyone is responsible for their own education it’s not all up to me,” “at this point everyone knows this is a horrible human rights concern rn and I would hope people research for themselves on this issue,” and “it helps no one to doom post and doom scroll”

5. what I want, after a ceasefire, is for a workable treaty and for self-directed government as decided by the people of the area for each of their countries. I’m not sure if one-state or two-state is the solution so I won’t guess. as well, I want proper sanctions for the government of Israel and any other government who provided them war supplies, including my own USA. the sanctions need to include a large sum to Palestine as they grieve and rebuild. this is bare minimum and does not address many complexities I’m sure there are smart, kind people with more thoughts

6. we are going to see more and more people displaced by environmental forces in the near future we as a global community MUST figure out how to work towards workable peace and cooperation. if these counties can do it, then I’m sure there is no excuse for anyone in the near future to not do it themselves. so the global community of the internet NEEDS to become hungry for peace over punishment

7. beyond those thoughts, I lack the knowledge of the history of the area, politics, geopolitics, sociology, etc. to provide my take on what should happen after that so I generally try to keep my ideas to myself bc they are probably peppered with a lot of naïveté. not just anyone can be an expert and we aren’t all capable of becoming skillful at all subjects and that should be acknowledged as we comment on public forums

8. I love you who share information it has been helpful to me and I love you people on my dash and mutuals for talking about creating genuine peace.

9. I believe that my personal words matter more than a reblog so this will probably be my only real post on this issue going forth besides reblogging humanizing depictions of the Palestinian people through art and continuous posts reminding careful posting and kind relations with each other

[hoomanityisavirus]

I feel like shit today.

I feel like I don’t deserve to live or that even if I did feel like I deserved to, it wouldn’t matter bc majority of my world doesn’t want me to exist. Majority of my world and my people don’t want my body to look the way it does. They don’t want my personality to act the way it does. They want to curate the content I am giving them while I exist. And instead of me just making peace with that and deciding their opinions are nothing but just opinions, it makes me feel like my brain is on fire.

I want to fling myself off a building just bc a lot of humans are unintelligent and things that are beyond their scope or perspective “scare” them into being the hateful idiots that they are.

Instead of finding differences to be beautiful or interesting, they see it as terrifying and contagious. Too bad we cant convince everyone that Covid isn’t “woke”. Maybe then these fuckknuckles would put on a god damned mask.

I hate it here. I hate that of all the ways WE CAN CHOOSE TO EXIST on OUR PLANET that we choose to force ourselves to pay, in order to thrive here. This is quite literally our world. We run it, we decide how things go here and this is all we made of it? We’ve created a capitalist hellscape so that 14 billionaires and their children can have excess and private jets while the planet physically crumbles & the rest of us starve? We let that happen? HOW? Who?

What??

Really pay attention to that: this is OUR world. Humans. Humanity. The planet earth? That’s a “human planet” when we zoom out to more of a galaxy-perspective. So we, the humans, who own, operate and keep this entire thing going, decided to work at jobs that we literally hate, that take up the absolute majority of our time, every single moment of our existence(because even when we’re not there, we’re thinking about work or the people AT work that we have to coexist with)? FOR WHAT.

This is where I get unhinged because in my not so humble opinion, humans are fundamentally stupid. You can ask any given philosopher, scientist or even someone who’s “born a genius”, they all say it eventually; humans are fucking stupid as hell. It’s why we need warnings on everything because AT SOME POINT, some idiot decided “oh this is totally a great decision I’m sure I’ll be just fine” and then they WERENT FINE.

I mean think about it, at one point creating fire or a wheel was the smartest we could fucking get. The astrophysicists of our world at one time were just: “the weirdo villagers who stare at the skies until their neck muscles seize from the pain of constantly looking upward”.

Even now the dumbest parts of us are based in “yew lewk deffernt than WHUT I want yew tew lewk I HAYTE THAYYYYYTTTTUH”

Like excuse me WHAT???

So because genetically one of us is born with pigment in their skin that’s significantly deeper than yours, THEYRE a problem??! they’ve got literally all the same internal organs as you, their blood turns red when it meets oxygen. They have hair, and thoughts and dreams, but because they don’t look like someone might be able to see through their bodyyy?? Suddenly they’re an abomination and deserve to be treated as “less than” *YOU*??

Give me a fucking break.

So because I don’t feel right having two fat sacks sitting on my chest, you believe I deserve to be killed? That I deserve to have no one love me anymore because I don’t want to create more of…this?

I don’t want to contribute to making more of us because there’s already over 7billion of us here rn and that makes ME “the problem”?

If my eyes could roll further back, they would fall out of my skull.

[elsisselene]

omg thank you for remembering my existence! @mothmonologue

1. Are you named after anyone?

Joan of Arc, presumably? My dad picked a British name and an Eastern European name and mushed them together, followed by a Sanskrit surname

2. When was the last time you cried?

Within the last 48h I’m pretty sure, going through a tough move on from a long distance situationship/imaginationship

3. Do you have kids?

Nah. Not done with my Bachelor’s yet.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only with friends whom I’ve seen using it.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I “read” people but at the same time I’m bad at it. Like usually I can notice microscopic details and build a hypothesis surrounding the way they think and any possible past experiences/traumas or sometimes just constructing the way this person thinks (without ever being able to think in such model) depending on in what setting I meet the person, which consequently give me different kinds of data.

6. What’s your eye color?

Deep, deep, characterless brown.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I hate watching movies they are emotionally and mentally burdensome to me.

8. Any special talents?

I think I have one............. Have been out of tune with myself for so long I actually forget what it is.

9. Where were you born?

Jakarta

10. What are your hobbies?

...Sporadic. Also what is the definition of a hobby, if any. My interests (read: hyperfixations) keep switching between stuff and when I’m overwhelmed with uni workload I don’t seem to have any. But notable ones include fountain pens and embroidery (which also happen to be the hobbies I recently did something in)

11. Any pets?

2 turtles, a tank of fish, a cat.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I barely move... but I did PE at school so all the standards (basketball, badminton, soccer, gymnastics, etc) I have played, technically. But personally, I love ice skating and if I had the chance it mightve been something I pursue. I like water, so swimming is a yes. I do yoga lately, hoping to find a trauma-informed yoga as an instructor honestly but my parents are against yoga so it’s gonna be a hard game of hide and seek.

13. How tall are you?

150 cm. might be 151 or 153 but I forgot.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Everything in school was meh to me. People would expect it to be biology since I did biology olympiads but in reality I feel meh towards all. I for sure hate all social subjects and entrepreneurshp has a special portion of hate from me. Oh actually science used to be my fav in elementary before it got split into phy bio chem...... I like art actually, if only it wasn’t so time consuming and deemed so worthless of putting effort in by my parents.

15. Dream job?

Honestly questioning this. Currently pursuing Biomedicine, but I’m obsessed with healing my mental health and childhood trauma. During the times I am so sick of tumor biology (my specialization) I think of neuroscience, but neuroscience is also sometimes so nauseating and in those times I usually stare at pottery contents on Instagram... wondering whether I really want to be a potter. Linguistics,,,, but I do wonder if that only arised due to learning Hungarian for a crush of mine... But also considering how good my brains at generating stories and how I can dramaticize any events in real time into a movie in my head in real time, and how I’m quite trainable in music, and taking into account the conserved imagination at the back of my head, maybe a musical theatre actress. But when I’m really loving the biomedicine I do I believe that my destiny is a science communicator. Idk man. Potter kinda wins rn. I have so many ideas for pottery pieces

15 mutualss............. excuse me for tagging yall..

@blekholebrein @500-internal-server-error @iseutz @trenchcoatmimic @tenaciouswaste @taurusz @a-sack-of-wet-mice @crunchity-munchity @thatspectacularpigeon @kokoro-beat @lavender-milk-with-honey @suffer-my-beloved-mutuals​ @kyliekaebae @flickeringnebula @1m-trash 

15 Questions and 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @rose-in-the-snow lesgooooooo

1. Are you named after anyone? Middle name is in honor of Mama Mary.

2. When was the last time you cried? Earlier today because my 21 month old fell asleep the way he used to and I covered him with his baby blanket and he's so much bigger now and he's just gonna keep getting bigger don't TOUCH me-

3. Do you have kids? At least three.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't actually know. I'm very deadpan? I use sarcasm in jokes sometimes? Somebody put a monitor on me to count on average how many times in a day I use sarcasm.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? Their MOOD.

6. What's your eye color? Blue. If I elaborate on any other colors in my irises after saying blue, somebody from another corner of tumblr will smell it and come kill me on sight.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Initriguing-but-not-quite-disturbing-but-not-exactly-comforting-either movies with a devastatingly painful ending that somehow still demands a tone of hopefulness.

8. Any special talents? I don't think I'm particularly great at anything. I'm okay with this. Keeps my pride in check. *fantasizes about being Extremely Good At Something and being Recognized For It constantly throughout the day* *which is unhealthy*

9. Where were you born? I was not born. I apparated one day at the age of seventeen. Anything that happened before then was lost in the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

10. What are your hobbies? Listen to me. Listen. I am a full-time single mother barely keeping the house functional. I haven't had a hobby in a hundred thousand centuries. I'd play video games if I had the time and money but those are two things that never seem to exist in excess in my corner of the world. I used to write music and poetry and that is maybe a monthly activity at this point. I read and wrote about philosophy. Now I just make low-fidelity short-form videos because that's all I have time for.

11. Have you any pets? Not presently, but thinking about getting a pair of dogs!

12. What sports do you play/have you played? Used to be really into rhythmic gymnastics and aerial (hoop and silks.) I don't quite have the skills I used to have in that department, so now I'm more of a fan of outdoor rock climbing and swimming in lakes/the ocean. Recently, I've been REALLY into the IDEA of figure skating, but have never actually worn skates in my life.

13. How tall are you? 147 cm

14. Favorite subject in school? Latin. Naturally, as a Catholic.

15. Dream job? At this point, I just want to be a full-time stay-at-home mother who has a large garden with food that I take to the farmer's market and other than that I'm just a homemaker. I have a few (very different) ideas of what I would want to do in different perfect worlds, but lately I'm trying to stop focusing on chasing MY dreams, and start focusing on what God wants me to be doing right now. Whatever that may be.

Tagging: I DON'T EVEN THINK I HAVE FIFTEEN MUTUALS HOLD ON LET ME LOOK @intothelionsden @zel-duhhh @semercury @americanette @zelda-obsessed @soldier-poet-king @paintingspyspy @corvusherpestidae @curly-cottage-girl @dumbassmcblyat @cygnascrimbles @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky @mothmonologue @the-oddest-inkling @rubyintheskywithdiamonds