#but I’m excusing myself for going through a lot rn

[valoale]

I needed to remind myself that this is a drarry blog

[callixton]

oh i am on the Brink of a mental breakdown. and like a real one. i am going to feel so so fucking terrible and guilty if i don’t go to the first week of mac rehearsal bc i need to recover but i am also getting the sense that i Need to recover. i have never been this burnt out or genuinely terrified of starting a new semester in my life.

[kavehater]

I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way

[starleska]

[stepping over the picket fence from my backyard into your backyard, like I’ve learnt anything about Despicable Me or Maxime since my last ask besides it is, indeed, the masc “le Mal” and not the feminine “la Mal”]

Hi, hey, howdy, don't worry about getting to this ask quickly or replying or anything, you take care of yourself, do what you need to do, do what you want to do 💕 I'm going on a thought experiment, a couple of thought experiments. <3 

but I was pondering my orb or taking a four hour nap or whatever you wanna call it and like. Is flustered, needy Maxime a new concept???? Not something that’s been greatly considered????? Bc tbh, he always gave me those vibes. For some reason. Like “Oh yeah, of COURSE he’s clingy and embarrassed and blushy and etc etc”. I’m not even sure why I was so sure but it just felt right. 💖 Surely…I wasn’t…projecting any type of …”personal biases” upon himAHEM so sorry, allergies. 

That big coat is for hiding and he totally can just, dissappear in there and hide from the world. He could pull the coat up and his head in and hope he can cover how read his face is. Like don't look at him rn, he's so vulnerable and uncomfortable about it bc he's used to being so big and impervious, but also don't go away, bc he likes you sm and this is so nice and he loves being adored. But also it's so much!!!!!!!!! Vicious cycle.

I'm a Blushy Needy Maxime truther. Or liar. I'll leave it to the people who've actually seen the movie to decide. Just the bigger the ego, the harder they fall, thats what I always say. Don't fact check that. 

What do you reckon flusters him most? Nice words? Physical affection? Teasing? Gifts? All of the above? I feel like it could be anything. 👀 or maybe it’s none of the above. 

Maybe I underestimate him, maybe he's got better composure than I assume, but every set of armor has a weakness! Anyone can get flustered, Maxime can get flustered, and tbh he probably should get flustered. Where there’s a will there’s a way! …Maybe Valentina would help. Either way I KNOW THAT GUY IS GETTING FLUSTERED I know it 

Accidentally a little overboard with the teasing and flustering and he gets all in a huff, giving the cold shoulder. You gotta say you’re sorry and wrap your arms around him, and in an ideal world he’d hold strong to his grudge until he felt you’ve paid your dues, but he can’t help but melt into your embrace. He compromises, turning back to you, burying his still-hot face into you and refusing to look at you instead. His arms tight around you, not letting you go even long after you assume all is well. His ire is still on you, you know! You owe him a lot for all that trouble you put him through! And besides, he still feels lightheaded from all this blood rushing to his face. You must let him stay in your soft, supportive embrace for just a moment longer. You wouldn’t turn him out now, would you? After you did this to him?  For shame. 

(He is Not intending to let you go anytime soon, he is making up all the excuses)

…hm…I may be talking in circles and not saying much of anything. I also feel like I’ve Greatly Exposed myself today. I gotta go disinfect my ear piercings…I gotta wash my neckties….I gotta refill my mint essential oil diffuser to keep away…the….the bugs…ahem…I gotta make a Pokémon team for Normal Reasons. 

I'm also once again coming to you cold, literally standing next to an actual oven for warmth like a Victorian child when my jacket is on a chair literally just one Maxime away. I’ve Got to GO. I CANT KEEP BEING LET OUT OF CONTAINMENT LIKE THIS. Thank you for listening to my TEDTalk/hostage situation. If anyone asks, I was never here. Take care, you’re great <3 

[Runs away, jumping fences like I committed a crime here.]

not you dropping an entire three course meal and dessert into my askbox, á la mode!!!!!!! 🙈💖💖 for someone who claims they don't know anything about Maxime, you certainly have put a lot of thought into this message...😉

you know, at the time you sent this ask I would've said that flustered, needy Maxime is a new concept, but we've had an amazing wave of art for him over the past week and there's so much of him being all cute and blushy 🙈🙈💖💖 i think it's that he is so easily angered and hates being called cute…he's total fluster-bait!!! we NEED to make him blush 🥺 AAAAA ohhh my god the idea of him wrapping his coat around himself and hiding is so soft!!!! no no you are SO onto something because Maxime is so horribly arrogant and confident, he's a bully who loves the spotlight and desperately wants attention…so wouldn't it be interesting to finally hit that sweet spot and get him wanting to hide? i really do think overt affection like that would make him curl up, and if you did it in a pointed enough way, his face would light up like a traffic light 🥰💖 i think that Maxime is probably really unprepared for anyone who is able to match his energy. he's looking down at you all heavy-lidded, boasting about himself and casually belittling you, but you shoot back with a well-aimed flirtation and it just. hits him like a truck. his cheeks warm, he starts to stammer. he desperately tries to recover, but he's actually looking for an out because he needs to find somewhere to breathe and quiet his beating heart 👀💖 YOU ARE CORRECT Valentina would so get involved!!! you've probably seen us talk about Valentina a bit before, and our wishes that she'd had more dialogue/character development in the movie…but two things that are very canon about Valentina is that she loves cute things, and she also thinks MAXIME is really cute 👉👈 i am certain that behind closed doors those two lavish all kinds of attention on each other, and Valentina turns Maxime tomato-red every time!!!! squealing no no no please don't be embarrassed i LOVE this!!!! gahhhh i adore that quick possessive flip from being so embarrassed and curling in on himself to it being something where he desperately wants to keep you, he can't let you go…!!! oh, my heart 😳😳😳 it's going to sound so silly given all of the stuff i've made for Maxime and being a selfshipper but i adore him so much that i STILL get so incredibly squirmy even trying to imagine any degree of one-on-one discussion with him, let alone contact…!!!! it's taken me a week to answer this ask for exactly that reason 🙈💖 so THANK YOU for fueling my brain i am going to chew through my hoodie sleeves now 😳😳😳 cackles. are we both sufficiently dead now? did you manage to do all of those convenient excuse-related things (including making the Pokémon team which i would LOVE to hear about)? 👀 it's OKAY lovely, open yourself up!!! there are no rules when it comes to loving characters - who says we can't adore many at once?! 🥰 thank you for always sending the loveliest, most interesting asks!! i've been mulling over this one for a hot minute and it's really, really cheered me up after a tough month, so big big hugs 🫂💖💖

[hyperfixationstati0n]

I JUST SAW YOUR POST OML I NEED TO REQUEST FOR BILLY THE KID:

SO like a coryo x lucy gray inspired pic where the reader is a singer and gets billy's attention as he only comes to the bars to see her performances. they like each other, start seeing each other, making out in the back or something idk you're so talented i'm sure you'll write something amazing

anon. i love you. so much. hand in marriage. rn. (i hope this does your idea justice pooks)

Word count: 936

…………………………………..………………………………………

It started when Billy wandered his way into your town. At this point, most people had an idea of who he was. The infamous outlaw rode in, looking for a place to stay and somewhere to get a drink. luckily for him, he only had to make one stop to find both. After paying for his room, he wanders down to the bar. He orders a whisky, shooting it back before ordering another. But right when he brings the glass to his lips, someone-you-catch his attention.

You’re at your space, the small little stage this saloon had configured for you, with your guitar. This was your place. Hell, you’d been performing there since forever. You’d become a local celebrity at this point. You’re smiling and playing, most people there being regulars and knowing you. You smiled as they all cheered when you came out, someone going as far as to hand you a bottle of liquor. You laugh and take a long swig before passing it back to the man who’s given it to you.

“oh it’s to clear my pipes, y’all, to clear my pipes. Now who’s ready to have a good time?”

He leans forward and puts his glass back down on the counter, the liquid left untouched. His eyes glow in the dim candle light. There’s only one word to describe him-entranced.

And when you catch sight of him in the middle of a song, it’s all you can feel too.

You’re popular though, everyone wanted to talk to you. You got swarmed with compliments and tips and free drink offers before you can even make it off stage. And by the time you do, he’s gone.

That’s not the last time you see him though. Every single night for the next week you see him in the same spot, untouched glass next to him. Probably just an excuse to be there. Now, you figured out who he was through the gossip of the town. But…you didn’t know an outlaw could be so attractive. Or so shy, it seems. Even on quieter nights he never came up to talk to you. You got sick of it by day 6. You wanted to know what this infamous “Billy the Kid”’s deal was. After your show, you rush out the back door before anyone can catch you (under the ruse that you were putting your guitar away). You’d seen him wander around back there a few times, and this was your plan of catching him. Figuring out why he came here every night to ogle you but never even introduce himself.

And it seems you caught him at the right time, because in your rush to get out the door you run head first into him. You feel a pair of strong arms catching you by the waist to put you back on your feet.

“Woah there, honey. You alright?” His voice was low and gravelly, but in the way that pulled you in more. Your eyes flash up to him. He was even prettier up close than he was from your view on stage. It takes you a moment to stop staring and speak, although it was hard to do so until he retreated his hands from your waist.

“I’m-I’m fine. Sorry i ran into you.” You say with a breathless smile. But you can tell he’s about to walk off politely so you speak before he can. “I notice you here every night. You…always leave before i get around to you.”

He stops and you swear you can see a blush cross his cheeks, although it was pretty dark out at that point so there was no way to be sure.

“You’ve got a lot of fans, it seems. I don’t want to waste your time.”

You tilt your head, smiling but also uttering confused.

“I think I can decide for myself how to waste my time.”

This earns a smile from him. That you can tell even in the dark, because you can hear it in his voice.

“Well ok then,” He starts, hesitating. Like he’s thinking over the next thing he has to say, even though it’s only two words. “I’m Billy.”

“Yeah, I know” You say with a smooth chuckle. “I’m Y/N.”

You got lost in the blue of his eyes that night.

…………………………………..………………………………………

So, you were glad he stuck around for awhile. He came to every one of your shows, and now he actually didn’t avoid you when they were over.

When you’re done socializing you meet him in your usual spot out back. He scoops you up in a hug, kissing your cheek sloppily before putting you back down and leaning you against the wall. He keeps his hand behind your head, not wanting your hair to get messed up on the wood.

“Hi, Billy” You say sweetly, eyes wide and full of adoration. He uses the hand holding your head to tilt it up to his.

“Hi, songbird” He replies, using the nickname he coined for you. It always made you blush. “Great show tonight. As always.”

You blush even more and lean forward, nudging your nose with his.

“Needy” He teases, kissing the tip of your nose instead of where you clearly wanted him.

“Shut up.”

You pull him in by the collar of his shirt. He chuckles against your lips before reciprocating, cradling your body in his arms to keep you close. You’d learned that he wasn’t all people made him out to be. He was sweet. Gentle. And, he was yours. He’d made that much clear.

Billy pulls away and presses a kiss to your forehead before looking into your eyes once more.

You’d be getting lost in the blue of his eyes for a long time.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

I need help, my life is now a living hell. (TW suicide attempt mention)

I know this is gonna annoy a lot of you for bitching and whining again but as of late my life has been really hard. I had to sell my soul and my life to a demon against my will. There is a toxic parasite I want to cut ties with but can’t. I am talking about a toxic family member who has no respect for boundaries and loves to judge and be rude to everyone around her.

I just really need some help rn guys because at this rate it really feels like I can either endure and sacrifice my sanity for as long as she lives or I could only ever end it via suicide. I have tried to do it twice while she was down and my mother has to hide away medication so I don’t overdose and sharp things such as knives and scissors when her new favourite person ever, her karen on steroids sister is here.

To paint a picture there is a story about when I was a baby with my cousin and toxic aunt. My toxic aunt would use grandma ( her mother) as a slave whenever she came to visit her grandson. “Now that you’re here I want you to do EVERYTHING for him while I go and bitch and whine about coffee and ask to see managers (I’m not joking. She literally does that. Saw it multiple times when she stays with us.). Whilst my Mom would offer to do fun activities with her and us, like go to the beach, etc. Because of this she enjoyed our company more than my toxic aunt who threw a tantrum over it. “You love my sister’s daughters more than my son!”. She got so pissed that she moved out of our place during a vacation. Mother offered to have my cousin and grandma to play in the pool with me and my sister whilst she helped my toxic aunt pack. She EXPLODED over that! Why? Idk. She then stormed into the house screaming and it woke baby me up and I was sobbing. Dad got mad and told her to get out and we had nothing to do with her until grandma died.

She hasn’t changed at all. Very toxic, always complaining and saying horrible things behind our backs. I had multiple extreme meltdowns when she came. She stayed for four whole months last year. One summer, one spring, one for every season. She has this rule too where only she is allowed to talk, all she does to complain and she gets weirdly excited when someone else is struggling…she loves to happily talk about others misfortunes and then she finds no joy in going to the beach and going out for lunch. Instead she complains constantly and it ruins the whole day. Mother told me she says the most horrible things about me behind my back too…which gets her upset but she puts up with it because she is going through a divorce. We put up with her rude behaviour out of pity. I understand how hard getting divorced is but it shouldn’t excuse…whatever the fuck she is doing to us. Mother and I got into extreme arguments because of her as well and we rarely fight. My toxic aunt turns my parents against me. I’m freaking out because she is going to come down again.

Last time she claimed to be more respectful of our boundaries. “We don’t have to do something every day, I’m ok to hang out by myself every now and then.” Then she guilt trips us by saying “I don’t know why I bother coming down here if I’m going to be alone.” Over me wanting to spend ONE fucking weekend alone with my mom out of an ENTIRE month of her hovering around us and never shutting up. She also loves to interrupt. I would be in the middle of saying something and she cuts in as if I’m worth nothing! Then I can’t even say anything because she never shuts up ever! Then when I am blessed with a moment of talking (usually because mother says Izzy has something to say) I get nervous about saying something she will judge me for!

She belittles every trigger of mine too. Once I used to like this cafe and she has this huge obsession with their muffins. I don’t go there anymore though because some mean teenage girls work there now and they have been openly rude to me two times when I visited. So rude I ended up crying once. I didn’t want to go back (keep in mind I have been bullied a lot as well, I have a huge fear of mean girls) My aunt gave me this huge lecture about it and tried to force me to go in just so she can get her muffins. I felt completely shattered as she gave me a hard time over it. In the end mother figured out her angle and just dropped her off there whilst I waited in the car…for her to do that though about my own experiences and my triggers and not wanting to return to a cafe with rude service…it was just so insensitive.

She used to say rude things to me because of me displaying typical autistic traits like my weird eating habits and my special obsessions. Mother made her stop saying things to my face but she told me she just says judgemental things behind my back now and she gives me this god awful judgemental stare when we go out to eat…She also shows no respect for mental illnesses such as anxiety, saying it’s not real. She also once made fun of someone who committed suicide…which shows how she isn’t really a good person. She picks at Mom and gives her a hard time and openly judges her and says rude things to her and mother always bottles it and takes it out on me in the end because the one who HAD been rude to her is going through a divorce.

I never want to have to endure her abusive behaviour again but I’m completely powerless. I feel so hopeless. Idk what to do..

[lividstar]

hello, i’ve been losing motivation to write lately and so far i have three drafts for the 10th chapter of the city of love and yet none of them have succeeded in satisfying me and i honestly just feel like i’m in too much of a bad place rn to think of a proper way to continue the fic. i’ve tried to convince myself that it’s probably because i’m busy with my studies, but i can’t use that excuse now—not when i’m literally on the second day of our long weekend break. i just feel so worried because, well, what if i end up not knowing how to continue my fic at all? and i think this calls for a break—one longer than the break i had before.

rest assured, though, because that doesn’t mean i’ll discontinue the story. thanks to the city of love, i found beauty in writing again, and not only that, i got to meet amazing people, too—particularly the people who always take the time to read my works and have always been so patient with my occasional slow updates (you guys know who you are), and over the time i’ve spent here in tumblr, i have felt nothing but appreciation from everyone, be it from your likes, reblogs, feedbacks, whatsoever.

i hate to say this, but i’m not only just going through a major writer’s block—i’ve also been dealing with a lot of things lately, so, like i said earlier, the next update for my hongjoong fic might have to take longer than usual, and i have also decided to take a break. i hope you all understand and try to be patient with me. if not, then that’s fine as well, just simply knowing you guys actually read my works is enough, as someone who nearly gave up on writing so many times due to feeling unappreciated :) lovelots!!

[nalaniisthebest]

hey girly pop if you’re still taking requests can you do one where jack is in a relationship with like an extremely small celeb i was thinking a painter and she wants everyone to know he’s in a relationship but doesn’t want a public one 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾💕 hope this makes sense 😭

i gotchu girl!!

( i made this a while ago so dont mind if it’s bad. i’m sorry that i haven’t been active, i’ve been so busy w/ school and my mental health rn. but just letting y’all know i have like three jack harlow stories and a couple austin butler ones that im working on rn so just be ready when they’re done!!! but enjoy this one while y’all wait!!!)

lemme know if y’all wanna part two??

materslist

request are open!!!

“you won’t even fucking consider it.” i yelled as jack rolled his eyes. getting up from the couch, he walked off to our shared bedroom. jack and i have been dating for almost a year and still refuses to hold my hand on public. we’ve had this conversation a couple of times, but it’s always ended with jack saying ‘the public doesn’t need to know everything.’

“excuse you!” i said following him “i’m not done!” he sat at the edge of the bed with his face in his hands. i slammed our bedroom door shut behind me. “why won’t you even consider it?” i asked softly. there was a big pause before jack looked up from his hands. “you know why..” he mumbled in response. “ the publi-.” “don’t say that.” i said cutting him off. “you’ve been saying that for the last year and im tired of it.” i said crossing my arms.

“give me a real answer jack.” i asked. “i-i don’t know y/n. maybe i don’t want everybody in our business.” he said with a frustrated tone, looking up at me. “it’s not like everybody is gonna know how our relationship works.” i said in defense as he shook his head. i stood there shocked on how somebody could be so stubborn about one thing, until realization hit me.

“i-is it because you’re embarrassed of me?” i softly asked mumbled, choking on my words. jack quickly looked down running his hands through his curls. “are you fucking serious right now.” i chuckled to myself. tears forming in the corner of my eyes as i quickly turned around, facing my jack towards him. “y/n..” jack started, he stood up wrapping his arms around his waist as you quickly pushed him away.

“don’t fucking touch me.” i said with tears stained on my cheeks. i quickly wipes them away, finally up at him. “i’m not anyone’s fucking secret, jack. not even yours.” i mumbled with tears dripping off my cheek. i quickly wiped my tears, once again. waking straight out the room. i heard jacks heavy footsteps behind me. “y/n, where are you going?” he asked as i grabbed my keys.

“away from you.” you said opening the front door. you turned around looking back at jack. he had this desperate look on his face, telling me not to leave, to stay with him and try to understand his point of the story. but i couldn’t, not after this. “i can’t fucking look at you, anymore.” i mumbled, before shutting the door behind me.

i walked as fast as you could outside to your car. i hopped in the drivers seat in complete silence before an uncontrolled sobs floods out your mouth. you were crying so hard, you’re lungs felt as if they were gonna explode. your eyes red and puffy, you started your car pulling out the parking lot. you didn’t know where you were going.. but all you knew is that you had to get as far away from jack as you could.

[blee-bleep]

Hello, I’m fairly new (you have a lot of talent, you make wonderful art) but I just saw your post about your grandma. I’m very sorry for your loss. Grief is a very difficult thing and can be very confusing when you lose someone you had a bad relationship with. I was once in such a situation too. I don’t know how it was with your grandma, but I hated that person so much. And when they left… I missed them and I didn’t understand why. After all the things they did… after everything they caused… I still cared about them. I even felt guilty. How could I care about someone like that? I used to get angry at myself every time I grieved, every time I cried. Don’t make my mistake. When we lose someone, no matter how they influenced our lives, there’s an impact. After all, they were still a part of my life, a part of my world. They were a loved one. A member of my family. It changes a lot. And after all, I knew deep down, they still had some good in their heart. After everything… they didn’t deserve to die. And maybe, the thing I missed most was the relationship I wished I had with them.

It was very hard for me to move on. To let go. And I think this is mostly because I didn’t understand that I needed to forgive them. I kept holding on to this pent up feeling of hatred. This anger. But I should have forgiven them for everything they had done. Because forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behaviour. It most certainly doesn’t justify it. It doesn’t mean what they did was okay. Forgiveness is taking the knife out of your own back and not using it to hurt anyone else. Forgive them not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. You deserve to be able to let go. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart. If you haven’t already, I think you should think about this.

And in the end, we shouldn’t see death as a bad thing, as when someone passes away, it creates another beautiful life. Like flowers dying in the winter, making place for beautiful flowers to blossom in the spring. That is, the merry-go-round of life. 

I hope you have someone to help you through these difficult times. And remind yourself that it is okay to grieve. It just shows that you have a good heart. I don’t know how it is for you right now but I hope I helped at least a little bit. Take care!

Oh and, life has many different chapters. Don’t let one bad chapter close the book.

-Sorry for the long text and all-

Thank you for this ask. i rlly needed to read it, especially abt the knife metaphor. I didnt live with my grandma as close as my other family members were but I still grew up with her, and her image is everywhere in my family (literally, my grandpa's genes are basically nonexistent). so its really hard to process how to grieve for someone you had a bad relationship with. her death esp impacted my parents and aunts, and there's a certain tension between them now.

for me, Im still learning to forgive and learn how to live without her, but rn its the guilt of not building a happier relationship with her im angry about because after all this time, she is still my grandma. this doesnt mean it justifies the horrible shit she said and done (and shes over 90!), but i feel like i can't make peace with myself when we heard that she finally passed. so thank u for your reassurance through this message. grief is truly hard

[genlossneg]

Okay so like. I didn’t have any interest in this, my boyfriend did. He’s been talking about it since the first streams, all of the stuff in it he finds cool, and how novel it is as a piece of media. He loves it, he’s dropped a lot of money on merch for it (which to be fair, the merch looks sick as hell I’m not even gonna lie), and he really wanted me to watch the founder’s cut when it came out. Well, I watched the founder’s cut and I just gotta say. It’s awful. I was so unbelievably bored, and when I wasn’t bored I was annoyed. Honestly I think the worst part for me is Slimecicle. He is remarkably unfunny, annoying, and obnoxious, and if his absolutely piss poor excuse for comedy was completely surgically removed (haha see what I did there?) it would make it a lot easier to tolerate all of the other badly done elements of it. Pretty much none of the attempted humor was funny to me. Maybe if I liked the streamers already I would have found it really funny, but I maybe exhaled out of my nostrils like 2 times total. I’m not sure what the consensus is with the Gen loss community about its humor but it did not hit for me in the slightest.

It feels like little of importance was happening for 65% of the runtime, the acting is terrible, the pacing is bad, and it’s just. It’s not even remotely good until the last like 45 minutes of the cut. I just could not bring myself to care, it felt like a constant barrage of “this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened.” Over and over. It wasn’t scary at any point, and I still, even after managing to just BARELY sit through the entire thing, don’t understand how so much money and effort went into this if this was the end product. I was not familiar with any of these streamers besides Jerma and Vinny Vinesauce, which the Founder’s Cut does woefully little with, so I had absolutely no connection to any of the characters. If there was some effort made to actually get me invested in who the characters are maybe I would have felt more positively towards it but it feels like I’m supposed to go “HOLY SHIT A STREAMER I LIKE OH MY GOD”, which might have worked if I was at all into ANY of the people here. It felt like there were no stakes and nobody was taking anything seriously until the last “act” or whatever when they’re running around the mall. I see what it’s going for, I can read into the metaphor about the dehumanizing nature of producing content for an audience and stuff, but just wow. The worst part is that I was just so bored the entire time. It feels like a “you had to be there” kind of thing, and since I wasn’t there, none of it appealed to me in any way.

I don’t know, this clearly isn’t a piece of media made for me but I spent the entire time I was watching TRYING to like it and it just was not it. Ever. At any point. The ending was okay I guess, I like it conceptually, but having Hetch (I think that’s his name, I don’t really recall and I’m not scrolling through the cut to check rn) trying to be a glorified game show host over the only bit of the end I kinda vaguely enjoyed kind of ruined it for me a little bit. Idk. Having Ranboo say “thank you” as his head was turned into a mid at best blood effect was the only bit that made me feel much of anything besides annoyance or boredom. I like the whole concept, but pretty much every part of the execution was horrifically botched, I feel like I shouldn’t have to like the people involved already to be invested in even one of the characters. Maybe the streams were better but I just don’t have any desire to watch them.

Maybe I’m being too mean here but yeah, I basically forced myself through 2 and a half hours of some of the most amateurish “horror” content I’ve ever seen and it felt like I got very little out of the entire viewing experience besides 45 minutes of content that got dangerously close to being okay at best.

this has been sitting in my inbox since the founders cut came out and i was going to respond to it once i watched it but clearly that is not happening anytime soon, so i can't speak to that specific experience but i definitely think watching it live added to the experience at least a little since the audience had a lot of chances to make decisions which kept it at least a little engaging. im not shocked the founders cut is super jumpy because they condensed a lot and the filler, while annoying, did keep the pace reasonable. i agree w a lot of your overall critiques and thanks for sharing a founder's cut take!!!

[localplaguenurse]

Ngl I forgot dottore can shapeshift(which is weird because scaramouche lore rarely slip my mind) so anyways now I can officially say dottities are Canon and anyone who says otherwise will have to pry dottities from my cold dead hands as my ghost haunts their very existence.

I’m just saying Dottore would look good in drag also I just remembered what I wanted to say about gingko trees

So the title Gold As The Gingko Trees

Gold- soft precious metal

Ginkgo trees- common symbol of longevity

Ok besides the fact that gingko leaves are golden so ha ha gold as the gingko trees ha ha get it? Gold? Like the leaf?

Next soft and precious metal aka gold, soft and precious should be obvious it’s wifey, but metal? Well that’s obviously their connection to Morax, who is the god of geo, commerce, mora, and ceo of being broke as fuck certified Amber lord with sexy eyes.

Gingko trees. Longevity. Another dot that didn’t connect until yesterday after I got shampoo in my eyes, well there’s two meanings here. First is wifey’s marriage to our ceo of terrible money management, they’ve been married for let’s round it off to 4000 years for simplicity sake and yes yada yada immortals change slow, but seriously this man and his wife are in a committed relationship for 4000 years if that isn’t longevity of a relationship and the love of one person to another then idk what is. Next Wifey’s lifespan, now I don’t remember the specifics because if I go back and read it again now the words are gonna get jumbled up and ao3 doesn’t support my accessibility settings unless I download the fic which btw can I download your fics and put them in my emergency food folder in case ao3 goes down again anyways so I’m going purely off memory here but after Morax did the sexy bite of 87 but it was consensual unlike the bite of 87 and certainly one less death. Wifey now shares the same life span (or in my personal opinion “live longer” as in Morax would erode first before wifey just because he’s so much older and therefore have more bad memories to erode him and maybe one day I’ll tell you more about Morax eroding away but this is not the ask for it rn) oh my god tumblr is lagging if this gets deleted I’ll hurl okay so yeah second meaning of longevity is that wifey gets to live longer

So yeah other than the surface level meaning of the title I also love the more deeper meanings this has and oh my god I have to conclude this before I get forced out of the app and also I went brain to fingers with no filter so excuse any mad ramblings in between

Tldr I love the effort you put into this fic have a fennec

Love is stored in the fennec fox ears.

I love your take on the title a lot! Honestly the only problem is that in canon the two have only been married for 2000 years, but that’s still a long ass time, and let’s be honest, those two would still be hand in hand when the sun explodes if they’re lucky to live that long. You hit the nail on the head with the longevity thing, but it’s also because of this one story I read about six ginkgo trees in Hiroshima. The place had been nuked, but six ginkgo trees had survived and from what I can see, are still going. They can live up to 3000 years. That’s why I had that part at the end where Zhongli tells Childe about how ginkgo trees are a symbol of hope and strength, and how they fit wifey very well. They’ve been through a lot, and they still prospered.

So the thing about wifey’s lifespan is that they’re sharing it with Morax. I didn’t focus too much on what that actually means beyond wifey will live past their human life expectancy so long as Morax is alive. It’s mainly because the specifics weren’t super important at the time, just served as an explanation for why wifey’s still around in canon time, and so I could avoid the whole “immortal outlives lover” trope because I told myself I was gonna end this nicely. I need y’all to know though that I’ve been very tempted to write something for when Zhongli begins to erode, but I have a character sheet to make for a Strahd campaign and a divorce fic chapter to get to. So yeah, maybe I’ll save it for another ask :)

Dottore would look good in drag but do you know who would look great in drag? Pantalone. I take no criticism, argue with the wall, he would be a glamourous bitch.

[goldensunset]

heehee seeing your pokemon playing posts make me so happy, esp now that you're playing platinum :] one of my fav mainline games for sure

can we get a peek at your teams? 👀 and any favorites?

awaaawawaaaaaaaa i love knowing that a bunch of oldschool pokémon fans follow me and enjoy watching this rookie’s dive into insanity. like my joy is multiplied by y’all’s joy at my joy. it’s a virtuous circle. plus online forums have absolutely nothing on y’all as far as helpfulness

so as you’ve probably deduced i’m raising a male kirlia in the hopes of getting gallade bc i think the moment i got my first one in pla i immediately got attached. i love that guy’s design and his little chirpy cry and i love his moveset. the kirlia is almost at level 30 so i have to box him for now

you’ve also probably deduced i have an umbreon bc i won’t shut up about her. i’ve never really used eeveelutions before but i’ve always loved their designs esp umbreon. they were always like little collectible figurines to me. glad i have a good excuse to use one now

i have prinplup that used to be the classic overlevelled starter but then i kind of ran short of uses for a water type, surprisingly. so now it’s kind of lagging behind the rest of the team. but i’m very much a ‘taking your starter out of your party even for a second is a federal crime’ kind of person. as embarrassing as it is i have him on the exp share rn. don’t worry emile you’ll get your time to shine again

i have a staravia who’s also been super helpful. i’ve got secret power (hidden power? which one was it called) on it too for slightly better coverage. that thing has single-handedly swept 2 gyms for me now. yeah baby

i also am constantly making reference to ‘skibby’, the kitty i named as a shinx when i was sleep deprived. i adore skibby and now she’s my highest level mon and she’s been so helpful w her moveset. first fully-evolved three stage mon i’ve got in this game. luxray is so cool man. at this point i’m not even switching into mons with type advantages i’m relying on bite, leer, swagger, and spark from a mon w good stats to take care of everything for me

hmmm uhmmm so i haven’t really decided on my definitive six yet so i have a few more that i’m investing in but like. not too hardcore investing in. i have a machop that i kind of have to keep around as an hm slave and a fighting type rep until i get gallade, a crobat i’m really not sure what the plan is with yet, a bibarel i’ve pretty much stopped using, and… some other new mons caught at a high level. honestly i need to remind myself that i don’t need to hand-raise every single baby pokémon i caught on the first two routes bc catching strong wild pokémon later is a thing. but then i also feel most attached to the ones i’ve had a while. i don’t feel like investing in my ponyta tho i’m banking on catching a better fire rep later. for the time being i’m just going without fire. or grass. or.. well, a lot of types actually. i don’t have enough diversity in my team is the problem. but i like the mons i have…

tldr this pokémon strategizing thing is hard but i like that i’m being forced to do it. i really brute forced my way through both pla and violet bc leveling up mons and getting new good moves was easy then. now even from the very beginning of the game before the first gym i’ve had to make tactical decisions at every turn and i love it actually

[brzatto]

I have some questions I wanted to ask :3c

I really love your Carmy drawing! You drew his sad puppy eyes and messy hair perfectly. Are you going to post any more art? 👀

I just started watching season 2 of The Bear and I was wondering how your rewatch was going. Any new thoughts after rewatching?

You're a Pacific Rim fan? 🥳 If Carmy and Richie were partners in that I feel like the Jaeger would immediately explode as soon as they were both plugged into it 😂 What are your AU thoughts?

helloooo <3

1. thank you!!!! ;_; as for posting any more art idk i doubt it >_< if i’m being honest i rarely ever draw at all and that doodle was just a one off but if i ever just so happen to do any more in the future then maybe! i’d like to get back into drawing more but the bear has pretty evidently manifested itself more in the writing side of my brain so

2. if i’m being honest i’m still on ep2 of my rewatch LMFAO every time i try and sit myself down and tell myself to watch it i end up finding an excuse to pull myself away. idk why i’m so mentally averse to it… what’s that thing called where people keep putting off things they genuinely want to do because that’s basically what’s happening rn. i do have a lot of thoughts and half formed posts in my drafts rn just from my first watch alone though i just feel like i should complete my rewatch before sharing them and then i keep… not doing that

3. i loooove pacrim it’s one of my favorite movies/universes ever. if i like a character or a pairing regardless of what the og media source is trust that i will be imagining them in a pacrim au… i’ve been toying with the idea for carmy and richie on and off in the back of my head since way back last year but i actually think it works pretty 1:1 with canon! mikey and richie being lifelong best friends and going into the pilot program together, finding out they’re drift compatible and becoming jaeger pilots together, mikey being kia, carmy always having this pipe dream of becoming a pilot and spending his childhood looking up to mikey and richie and wanting to be just like them but being deterred by something or another. maybe going through the program but because he’s naturally reserved and introverted he thinks he doesn’t have what it takes to be an actual pilot or that he’ll never be drift compatible with someone because he can’t really imagine connecting with anyone in that way. when mikey dies richie’s left in need of a partner but richie is richie so he’s not really compatible with anyone else until they offer to test carmy and lo and behold.. richie balks from it at first obviously because carmy’s just a rookie without any real experience in the field and he and mikey were pretty well established for years (if not just a little unorthodox) and internally half of him is unable to accept the idea of carmy being mikey’s replacement due to his grief and the other half of him is unable to accept carmy being mikey’s replacement due to his protectiveness of carmy (but he doesn’t mention or bring that up ever. i think their dynamics and history in pacrimverse would mirror their histories together in canon, but any genuine good intentions richie has is also probably overshadowed by his anger/resentment and he ends up lashing out a lot at the higher ups and keeping carmy at arm’s length the whole time this is happening. he’s just like.. not coping well. or at all for that matter) cue some very slow burn and mutually tentative bonding and richie always berating carmy for being “just a kid” throughout it and objecting about having him out in the field (not to his face or anything, probably not even with malicious intent or with the purpose of hurting carmy but carmy probably overhears or finds out anyways and resents him for it + feels all that self loathing and ineptitude because he knows he couldn’t live up to mikey either) and richie being given the ultimatum of either having carmy as his partner or being forced to retire but when they’re put in a tight spot they DO go out in the field together. something very dramatic and tragic happens because something dramatic and tragic is always happening in a pacrim au and it seems unlikely that they’ll both make it out and richie is adamant about carmy being the one who lives, still struggles with all that survivor’s guilt over mikey and wouldn’t be able to take going through it again, especially not with carmy. carmy of course is like… kicking and screaming and very much NOT willing to leave him behind and at the same time he’s ANGRY because all this time richie still doesn’t think of him as being capable nor does he trust carmy enough to be able to let him help and for them to go through this together. i don’t think carmy is as concerned as much about whether he lives or dies, or even really if richie lives or dies, i think whatever happens he just wants to see it through alongside richie. he wants richie to trust him, he wants them to be a team, and regardless of what happens to them he wants them to do it together meanwhile richie’s only priority is to ensure carmy walks away from this alive. at all costs.

since this isn’t necessarily a fic plot or anything just how i imagine a pacrim au for them would be like, the endings vary—richie deceives carmy/saves him against his will and has to deal with knowing he’s automatically lost all and whatever tentative trust carmy had in him leading up to this, either richie lives and he and carmy have to start again from the ground up bond wise (maybe they realize they can’t be partners after all and richie would rather retire than have to be put in a position like that again) (lawful evil end) OR carmy eventually forgives him and they work it out and continue being partners (lawful neutral end) OR richie dies and carmy’s left to deal with the survivor’s guilt instead. (neutral evil end)

alternate endings: carmy stays and saves richie instead—also up to you whether he lives or dies but in the event that carmy dies richie has to go through all that mess with mikey all over again and idk if he could like. mentally/emotionally/physically survive that (chaotic evil end) or carmy finally finally convinces richie to trust in him just this once and they combat the evil together and come out of it stronger and closer than ever (lawful good end). also if i’m being honest when i think of this au playing out in my head i surprisingly don’t think of them ever being explicitly romantic but they still have that air of weird unspoken homoerotic tension that they do in s1: richie still devastated and grieving and fighting a battle of internal conflict, carmy still rash and impulsive and oblivious, richie wanting nothing to do with carmy but still unable to stomach the mere notion of putting him at risk, carmy thinking richie is a washed up asshole but still desperately wanting his trust and approval. sometimes the pining is better ngl

[lovebvni]

hi abyss

my name is malak and i wanna know what i need to hear rn <3

if u don't wanna answer that's fine ily ♥

Hello, Malak. Your name literally means angel, and I love that. Goldwing by Billie Eilish comes to mind, for more reasons than one.

Messages You Need To Hear Right Now

“Manipulation”

The first word that came through. Someone, a masculine figure, is manipulating you and controlling you. I turned on my shufflemancy and “Producer Man” by Lyn Lapid came on. That, paired with the song Goldwing by Billie Eilish coming on is making me think you’re too open for your own good. You willingly let people in your life and let them tamper with your energy. Draining you, making you feel like shit.

You may be in the acting/singing industry, as both of these songs are about a man making an offer to a younger girl for their own gain. It could also be changing yourself for the material or for the male gaze. I see this could also apply to a relationship. [This ‘man’ could just be a masculine energy, someone who gets what they want and doesn’t care about anyone else. So, gender doesn’t matter here. Excuse me saying “he” or “this man” or anything similar throughout this reading if it applies to a woman.]

In the beginning, it started off good. It seemed like things were looking up, but it was short lived. You soon started (consciously or unconsciously) changing yourself for this male. I’m sorry to say, he never truly, deeply cared about you. Maybe for a brief moment he did, but it was based off looks or personality. He didn’t want you as a person, he didn’t want commitment, he just wanted something to ‘show off’. 212 also keeps coming up.

The manipulation is keeping you with him. I suggest for you to slowly remove your energy from him, then physically remove yourself from him. Don’t let him keep you. And if you do let him keep some of your energy, you have to detach yourself from him. “I do this for myself, not for other beings” is the affirmation I heard. Try saying it at least 10 times a day. Let it sink in, and let that reflect on the outside.

“I’m gonna be the bad guy”

I feel like this is the new energy stepping in. 4:44 as of typing this) The new you. I feel like you’re almost relevant to step into the energy. You don’t want to be a “bad guy”, but you kind of need to. You need to own yourself and your life [Nicki Minaj’s Chun-Li + a hell of a lot of orange]. It’s okay to be seen as the bad guy for a season if you’re bettering yourself.

Don’t get it twisted, this isn’t the universe saying go be a bitch to everyone you’re leaving; rather its saying to own your life and not let anyone get in the way of trying to take it back.

I love you, angel, and I hope you can let go of this horrible person easily.

As someone who’s been in multiple toxic relationships, it is easy to go back, but do the hard thing. Let go. And don’t let them lead you back.

[riddlerosehearts]

your post about mailee says everything i’ve felt about how this fandom (and many others) treat female characters, especially in the context of sapphic shipping.

i could never personally get into mailee due to the annoyance that is it’s fandom. the constant bashing of certain sapphic ships by proclaiming them as toxic (as if that isn’t the appeal) was so annoying to see in 2020 that it sadly left a sour taste in my mouth.

it also just fits into the most boring stereotypes of cute and fluffy sapphic ship!! something that tends to be the case nowadays.

but even with all that aside it’s obvious why mailee exists. they’re a side pairing for more popular ships and oh what a surprise, it’s a mlm ship leading it. i can’t deny that zukka fans mostly contribute to mailee content because they do but also how deeply annoying it is to see this pattern of wlw side pairing for mlm over and over again.

especially with atla of all shows. a show that actually has a complex female character whose unintentionally lesbian-coded but people will not bother exploring her queerness because shes “mentally ill” or “too much” or “she doesn’t need that rn” or whatever excuses people come up with.

it’s a shame to see all this play out but i’m not surprised. at the end of the day it’s always going to be mlm or f/m at this point.

oh wow i'm glad to hear i'm not the only one feeling this way!! like i mentioned in my previous post, i honestly don't really like mai, but i've tried to get myself to over the years. in 2019 i had rewatched the show and thought "hey, mai and ty lee are kinda cute together, i still don't love mai but maybe i could if i try to think more deeply about her character and see if i can find some meta and fics and such that flesh her out and examine her good points. maybe ty lee could be someone who really understands her and brings out the good in her". but mailee was very much a rarepair back then and i could only really find fluffy drabbles to read. i like fluffy drabbles and all, but they just weren't what i needed in this case. so then in 2020 the show gets put on netflix, i come back from a tumblr hiatus to see there's been a massive fandom renaissance, and now mailee is so popular it's getting to high numbers on weekly fandometrics lists! great!

so then i again look for content about them and see that a ton of it is either zuko-centric or zukka-centric with them as a side pairing at best, and zukka just isn't for me. i have a close friend who ships it so i understand the appeal, but i'm always and forever a zutara stan. i could've multishipped (i do reblog cute fanart of them on occasion) if i didn't keep seeing things from the zukka side of the fandom that really frustrate me, this being one of them. and every time i choose to dive back into the fandom and see if things have improved it's still the same, i should not have to go through 53 of the most kudos'd fics in mailee's tag before i find a fic about them especially since they have less than 1/5th the amount of fics as zukka in the first place, and it just makes me sad that this is an issue in almost every fandom. i may not like mai, but you would really think the people making shippy content involving her would like her and be willing to actually focus on her in said content!

as for the constant bashing of other more "toxic" f/f ships and unwillingness to examine another female character's complexity and potential queerness while using her mental illness as an excuse... i believe i know exactly who and what you're talking about it's an issue with certain mailee content for me as well. see, even though i've loved ATLA since i was a kid and have been on the internet just as long, i used to always dismiss the concept of tyzula because i myself never appreciated azula enough and wasn't interested in ships with her (and because frankly i really hate how azula's voice actress sexualizes the ship). but on my current rewatch of the show i've started loving azula a lot more and now like to imagine her redeemed and happy, repairing her damaged relationships with her family and friends and maybe even falling in love. i've realized that part of the appeal of tyzula for me is that while, yes, azula's entire dynamic with both mai and ty lee is toxic and messy during the show, i don't personally think it always was. i think the three of them were genuine friends until things gradually got fucked up because of how ozai's treatment of azula fucked her up. and i think that if azula were to have a redemption arc, the 3 of them could salvage what once was and have a healthy friendship again.

a lot of mailee fans do not seem to agree with this, though, because i've seen several metas and headcanons that rely on the idea that the two of them were always just afraid of evil, nasty azula and that they can bond over how much they hate her. i am not here for that, and yeah, i'm also not here for the whole "this ship would never work because [insert character] just isn't ready for a relationship, i ship them x therapy!!" thing fandoms love to use as a way to demonize certain ships. mentally ill people can be in happy, loving relationships and they can go to therapy while in said relationships. they can even use therapy to--gasp--figure out how to keep their mental health issues from getting in the way of continuing to have healthy relationships! this happens in real life and i fully believe it can happen in a fantasy cartoon for children. also, i know some people use the comics to justify the idea that mai and ty lee have just always hated and been afraid of azula, because apparently it's implied in those that they were fake friends? but fuck the comics, they're OOC and horribly written lmao.

this ended up being a much longer reply than i initially intended but yeah, all this is to say that i 100% agree with you and thank you for sharing your thoughts, anon. sapphic ships and the female characters within them deserve just as much space in fandom as m/m and m/f ships get, to be fully explored and appreciated in their own right and even to sometimes be complicated and imperfect.

[heartstolife]

Inktober 2024- Day 5, Binoculars

Ocean eyes~ What do you think this person is looking at through their binoculars? I already have a guess.

Also- HELLOOOO im back i haven’t died or really lost motivation in inktober or anything. Sorry for the long wait! i already did some other few drawings and I’m going to try to post some of them, i just want them all to be in the correct order and i skipped some in favor of other prompts.

If your wondering, I’m so many days behind on inktober rn, as i’ve been overloaded with homework and projects and exams (just started highschool, it’s a mess). I’m prioritizing school over this rn, so sorry if this inktober gets delayed for a bit. When the hiatus dies down (it’s near the end of the trimester so hopefully after that i’ll get freetime) i’ll find a free day to just do art all day and finish at least most of my inktober works. I’m still keeping my promise to get more than last year! i’ve resolved that much so im not letting myself down.

Oh and sorry (i’ve been saying that a lot in this post huh? swear im not canadian) if this sounds like excuses or im just complaining! It’s not anyone’s fault other than mine and I just really need to prioritize my school over an internet art challenge, and i’ll still find a way to do inktober! That much im sure!

your probably not gonna read this whole tangent but if you do, thanks for sticking to the end and have this cookie 🍪