#but I’m also Super aware it’s going to change our friendship dramatically

[michkit]

Someone tell me it’s totally normal to be a bit sad when the first of your friends gets pregnant

[sunatooru]

This is a random but cute idea, I got! So you know of the whole friends to lover schtick like “the one that’s always been there for them no matter what�� kinda deal? So Suna, Bokuto, Kuroo, and Iwaizumi are friends with Y/N who’s always been by their side through and through. She has a crush on them (they aren’t aware of it) but accepts that her feelings might not be returned, but after a few days of her not showing up to school or answering their messages/calls; They hear from one of her friends about her moving to America (mainly heard her last name and the word moving). And they get this big ass realization about how much they love her and how amazing she is. They’re terrified that they’ll never see her again, so these guys just book it to her place and when they finally see her, they give her a hella tight hug as they confess their feelings, how much they love her, and that they don’t want her to go. Y/N is both confused and relieved that her crush returns her feelings but explains that she’s helping her relative move out to the states so she’s been too busy to talk or be at school but she confesses her feelings back to them and gives them a kiss.

(God, I’m so sorry for how long this became 😭)

Hiiii these were cutee and also I love when requests are super long and detailed!! So thank youuuu, I hope you like them and let me know pleasee xx

~

A/n - Are these dramatic or do I want to be loved??? 

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Suna

You watch him go through his phone. He always looked so relaxed and pretty. You two had been friends for a while now. Always telling each other what's going on around school, teasing his least favourite twin and just always being around each other. You were falling for him hard. The way his eyes would slightly widen when he watched his favourite show. The little air he puffs when he sees a funny meme. Everything he did made your heart beat faster.

When you realised how much you liked him you were overjoyed. Being close friends with your crush was rare and yet you got to enjoy his presence.

However, overtime you realised he never really acknowledges you. Yes, he talks and hangs out with you but he didn't seem interested in the same way you were with him. When you accepted he wouldn't return your feelings, you just continued to act like it didn't hurt you every time he smiled at someone else.

He noticed you hadn't been at school for the last 2 days, not thinking much until he heard your name.

"Yeah I heard they're leaving for America. Must be so cool." He hears his classmates gush and widens his eyes.

You were leaving?

When the end of school bell rings, he quickly gathers his things and rush to the exit.

"Hey! We have practice!" He hears Osamu call out but keeps on moving.

"Tell Kita-san there's an emergency and I can't make it." He doesn't wait for a reply.

He hurries to your house, tie loose as he finally makes it to your street. He feels his chest tighten at the moving truck stationed outside your gates.

He sees you holding a box and rushes over to you. You almost dropped the box from his approach.

"Suna? What are you doing here?"

He pulls you into a tight embrace, hand buried in your hair as you feels his heart beat.

"Don't go. Please, I don't want you to go..." you break away from the hug and he tenses at your confused face.

"What?" You question and he runs his hand through this hair.

"I love you. I know I don't show it but I do. I think I've always loved you but I guess I didn't want to change our friendship..please don't go. I need you." He confesses in quick breath and this time you do drop the box.

"Rin-" you jump into his chest, wrapping your arms around him, hiding your face as you let out a little sniffle.

"I love you too. I've been in love with you for a while now." You look up to him and although the smiles, his eyes still hold a worried look.

"So you won't leave?"

"No? Why would I leave?" He motions to the box of belonging and van.

"Oh, I'm just helping my aunt move some of her stuff she kept here. She's leaving for America soon, so I've been busy and couldn't be at school." He rubs his palm over his face, chuckling from your answer.

"I really rushed here thinking I would never see you again."

"Sorry but you don't get that pleasure." You poke at his cheek, giggling, only to be silence as he places his lips on yours.

Bokuto

You're basically his number one fan. Always attending matches, staying after school for practice and just being his support. He adored you for it. Always calling on you to watch him spike, complimenting how his jersey looks good on you and how well you get along with the team.

What you wished he would realise was how in love you are with him. You've known him for a long time and of course you cheered for him as his friend but all the extra bits were efforts to show him he meant more to you. How could you not fall for him? He was beautiful, passionate, kind and enthusiastic. The way his eyes would light up when he touch a volleyball. How his laugh could lift the mood in the room, make you forget your problems and just let his laugh make its way into your heart. He just made everyone so comfortable and this gained him a lot of admirers. You would watch the way he behaved with potential dates, treating them kindly and laughing with them. He could have anyone he wanted. And with that thought your heart silently broke at the fact he probably doesn't feel anything towards you.

He immediately notices your absence. Scanning the school for your face, texting you multiple times for your whereabouts. Although your messages were short, he was content with the replies. Letting you get on with whatever was keeping you busy. But then you didn't come in the next day. He scanned everywhere again with no luck.

"Y/n...America....going tomorrow." He stood frozen at the door of your classroom, eyes widen hearing that you're m leaving the country.

Somehow gets permission to go out for lunch. He runs to your house, growing more and more upset that you're leaving him. Yells out your name when he sees you.

"Y/n, why are you leaving me? You can't just go! Why didn't you tell me that you're leaving me and going somewhere else? I love you too much!" He pants, arms pulling you into a tight hug.

"What did you say, Bo?" You whisper, head hoping you heard wrong so you could carry on pretending.

"I love you so much. More than a friend. I love you, don't leave me.." his voice strains and you gasp.

"I'm not going anywhere.," you finally say and you look up to see his eyes a little watery.

"But they said you're going to America tomorrow..."

"Nooo, I'm helping my cousin. They're going tomorrow and needed help. I'm not leaving you. I love you too.," you blush as you say the words out loud. His face immediately brightens, teeth on show as he smiles at you.

You pull his chin down and watch as he closes his mouth and eyes flutter shut. He smiles into the kiss, his warm lips finally on yours, pulling back you grin back at him.

Kuroo

What started as table partners in your chemistry lesson, quickly turned into best friend. From mocking his hair to cheering for the team he captains. You both got close really fast. He would wave at you at games, stick his tongue at you when he scored higher on exams and even tease you if his teammates flirted with you. He treated you like his friend. A close, always present, friend. But you started to feel more, you would look around in hopes of seeing him. Argue with him just to spend more time together and rolling your eyes at his fake collected demeanour when girls approached him. You loved him, loved his bad hair, stupid laugh and cunning brain.

You were so close to confessing until you heard him calling you just a good friend. Your throat tightened and in that moment, you chose to act like your feelings never existed. You would still tease and cheer for him, but not forcing any more contact you already had. You hoped the less time spent with him, the less hurt you'd feel.

He noticed, he might not seem very observant, but he noticed the way you would slightly pull away. How your mock fights would just be a little less intense, almost as if you were hesitating with your words. And then you stopped replying to him. All he wanted to know was if you were coming to the game tomorrow, sending you a quick message at night knowing you'll be awake. When he woke up, there was no reply. Hoping to catch you at school, he waits at your classroom. But you weren't there. He sent more messages, worried when you still wouldn't reply. Another day went by in the same way. He couldn't understand why you weren't replying to him. He almost walked into an opening door looking at his phone.

".Yeah, I went over to help Y/n pack a little, they're taking so many things for when they leave for America."

He felt his ears grow red, his grip on his phone tightening in the thought of you leaving. Is that why you've not been replying? But why? Why are you leaving and going away?

Cancels practice and hurries to your place. White shirt half tucked in as he obnoxiously knocks on your door. Your eyes widen as you see him panting on your doorstep.

"Why are you ignoring me? Why haven't you been at school or answering my messages?" You can hear the hurt in his voice.

"Why did you not tell-tell me you're leaving? You can't just go and not tell me, I thought we were close enough. I thought I still had time to tell you I'm in love with you. And you're just planning to leave with no explanation?!" A tear slips down his cheek, you quickly go to brush it away and he holds your wrist in place.

"Kuroo, I...I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry I haven't replied to you or been at school I've just been helping my relative with packing for when they move to America." You looks at your feet, cheeks burning as you speak.

"I'm in love with you too...for some time now. I thought you only saw me as a friend.." you yelp as he squeezes you in his arms, his breathing beginning to regulate.

"Yeah a friend who I'm very much in love with, who will hopefully become more than a friend." You pull away and giggle as he gives you a lopsided grin.

"You're so cute I could kiss you." You tease and he moves his face closer to yours.

"Go ahead." You shake your head, pursing your lips as you bring them to his, his hand cupping your jaw to bring you closer.

Iwaizumi

If there's one thing you grateful for by being partners with Oikawa, it was being able to meet Iwaizumi too. You two quickly became friends in mocking Oikawa, a friendship bonded over your mutual annoyance. Suddenly you've become a trio, hanging around in school, meeting after school for training and going over to their house to do homework. It just felt right. And although Oikawa was pretty, you couldn't help but have a crush on Iwaizumi. He was respectful, nature, kind and adorable when he smiled. You love how his presence could almost control a room. His invisible authority was admirable. When training went late he would always drop you off after Oikawa. Asking how your day was, making sure you were okay and safe. You found the time alone with him made your crush go deeper. You couldn't help but think about him before you slept and after you've woken up. Your blush harder to hide when ever he bumped shoulders with you.

You almost hated having a crush on him. Knowing he just sees you as a friend. Pain in your gut at the thought of him rejecting you if you confessed.

When he didn't see you at the school, he was concerned. Asking Oikawa if he knew your whereabouts before calling you. When you didn't reply, he sent you a quick message but you don't respond. He was growing impatient. Your absence was making him restless. He missed you. Your laugh, the way you narrowed your eyes when you studied and how comfortable he felt around you.

"Iwa-chan!" He rolls his eyes.

"What do you want shittykawa?"

"Hey! Don't be rude. But listen, I heard someone say that Y/n is moving to the states!" He feels his stomach tense.

"What? When?"

"Yeah, apparently the flight is-" he doesn't stay for the rest.

He runs to your house, his backpack barely on as he runs through the crowds. Knocks on your door and waits. Bow to your parents from letting him in and quickly makes his way to you room, the door is open and his heart drops at the box filled with belongings on your floor.

"Iwaizumi? What are you doing here?"

"Are you leaving?"

"What?"

"Are you leaving for America? Please say you're not and Oikawa is lying and that you're not actually going away. Y/n, I like you a lot, so much, you can't leave...I was going to ask you out and take you on a date and get you food and-" you cut him off with a kiss.

He face is full of shock when you pull away, you sheepishly smile at him and he blushes. You grab one of his hand and caress it.

"I'm not the one going to America, one of my relatives is going so I'm helping them. See, this is some stuff they're giving me." You point to the box and he lefts out a sigh of relief.

"I'm going to kill trashykawa." He groans and you let out a laugh.

"So um...you don't have to like me back or anything.." he says lowly.

"Iwa, I like you too. And I'll love to go on a date with you." He looks up and smiles at you, bringing you hand to his lips, placing a little kiss on your skin.

[let-me-write-shit]

Could u do one w famous!reader (singer and actress) and she’s Brazilian and they met at late late show or idk some other talk show?? Thank u love ur writing

A/N: Thank you so much for the request, @lebortoletto, and sorry it took so long! Hope you like it!! 

Word Count: 4,746

Requests are OPEN! If you have a request for a blurb, oneshot, imagine, whatever, Send me a message HERE!!!

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The Late Late Show

Y/N always loved coming on James Corden’s ‘The Late Late Show’. His team was always super organized and kind, and James sometimes treated his guests with a meal at a restaurant after the taping since it was usually filmed during dinnertime, and they always had a lot of fun on-set. James was one of the few television hosts whom Y/N would consider a friend.

Of course, being an actress provided Y/N an opportunity to meet and make friends with hundreds of other celebrities, and she considered herself to be amongst nearly all groups of celebrity friendships, but there were some more notable people which she hadn’t had the pleasure to meet, yet. One being Harry Styles.

She’d wanted to meet him since the days of One Direction, but their paths somehow never crossed, which was odd considering nearly all of her friends were mutuals with him. They followed each other on Instagram and Twitter, and would occasionally like the other’s pictures or tweets, but that was about as far as it went. She didn’t have the courage to message him. But that ended today. Both of them would be appearing on his show together.

She and her team arrived early, being escorted to a private room. Most of her team went to the main backstage room while Y/N got her hair and makeup done in her private room. There was still some time left to spare by the time they were finished, and Y/N, along with her PR person, decided to greet everyone backstage and have a quick snack before she changed clothes. She bumped into Reggie and a few other members of James’ team on the way back, smiling and chatting with them while they walked down the hall. As soon as she entered the room, she heard her name called out.

“Y/N! Hello!”

Y/N turned her head in the direction of the voice and smiled when she saw James Corden in the middle of a conversation with Harry Styles and someone else she hadn’t recognized, presumably on his team. She made her way over, noticing Harry holding a small, half-eaten sandwich, and trying to keep her composure.

“Hello, so good to see you again,” Y/N grinned, taking Jame’s hand and pecking him on each cheek before turning to Harry, heart pounding, “Hi, how are you? I’m Y/N.”

“Good, thanks, I’m Harry,” his voice was deep and muffled, trying to introduce himself with a mouth full of sandwich. He leaned in for a one-arm hug and pecked either side of her face. Once they pulled apart he had dramatically swallowed his food and smiled sheepishly, “Sorry,” he chuckled, “It’s so nice to meet you.”

“We were just talking about you,” James interrupted.

Your expression changed to one of surprise before Harry chimed in, holding a finger up and nodding, “Yeah, I’m a big fan. Salacity was incredible.”

“Oh, thank you so much,” Y/N blushed, looking between the two of them, “Well, I’m obviously a fan, too. Who isn’t?”

“Obviously, you mean me,” James joked, flicking his imaginary hair back.

The two laughed while Y/N nodded, “Obviously.”

Y/N continued on, asking James about his family, and attempted to remain calm while Harry’s overwhelming presence barely a foot beside her lingered. She could feel the warmth radiate from his side, fighting the urge not to look over at him every five seconds, though she couldn’t help but feel his eyes occasionally glance her way.

Since James was so close with both Harry and Y/N, it seemed to be easy to hold a conversation. But when James was ushered away by the crew to start prep and begin filming for his show, it left Harry and Y/N an opportunity to talk. They still had a bit before they would be called out.

“So, I heard you’ll be in the new Marvel film,” Harry turned to her.

Y/N’s mouth fell open, smirking unsurely. That news hasn’t been released yet, and as far as she was aware, not even her biggest fans knew about it. “How did you hear that?”

He grinned, looking down and then back up at her, “Uh, Alexa may have mentioned it.”

“Alexa Chung,” Y/N repeated, rolling her eyes with a smirk. Alexa Chung was a supermodel and one of Y/N’s closest friends. She shook her head, muttering, “I knew she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Yeah, I mean the contract is still under negotiation, but it’s looking good.”

Harry smiled, “Congratulations. I’m sure it’ll be amazing. Can’t wait to see it in theatres.”

“Thank you,” Y/N nodded.

Soon they were joined with more people from the crew of The Late Late Show, as well as more people from their own team as they were told the order of operations and how things were going to run tonight. James had a few segments he had to do on his own before interviewing the two of them, then on to a game, and a small break before Harry would perform.

They listened, intently, a handful of m&m’s in her hands. She noticed Harry shifting in her peripheral and when she turned to see what he was doing, he was already looking at her, pointing at her hands and mouthing, ‘throw me one’. Y/N giggled, picking up a red chocolate candy and scanning the circle of people to make sure no one was staring at her before quickly flicking it across the circle. Harry jerked to the left, trying to catch it in his mouth, but it just bounced off of his chin and to the floor. Only one girl seemed to notice and chuckled.

Harry turned to her, mouth ajar and brows scrunched up, pretending to be indignant and mouthing, “What was that?”

“Another,” Y/N mouthed, grabbing a blue one, this time. Once again, she scanned the circle and chucked the m&m higher.

This time, Harry hardly had to move. He opened his mouth and caught it, smiling and chewing on the candy. “Nice throw,” he nodded, approvingly.

After the meeting, Y/N’s Publicist urged her back towards her private room so she could get changed. She slipped into a sexy red pantsuit that plunged down her neckline and flared at the wrists and ankles, pairing it with a pair of matching red high-heels. Again, she made her way backstage where Harry was, talking to some more people, and when they both saw each other they froze, eyes widened for a moment before their smiles turned into laughter.

He made his way over, now wearing a white button-up underneath his red suit and matching red pressed pants and red shoes. “You copied me!”

Y/N shook her head playfully, joking, “We should swap our suits mid-show and see if anyone notices.”

Harry laughed, “Yes! I can wear yours for the performance!”

The two were greeted by another crew member and led to the side of the stage where they had to remain silent. They looked at each other and back to their crew, silently shimmying and to the sound of James’ voice before their names were called and an eruption of screams and claps echoed through the air from the live studio audience.

Harry let Y/N walk out first and followed her towards the stage as they smiled and waved to the crowd before stepping up on the platform to greet James with a friendly hug and peck on the cheek, sitting side-by-side on the couch.

When the cheers died down, James turned to the two with a grin and said, “It’s great to have both of you back on the show. What is this?” he motioned towards their outfits, laughing, “You’re wearing the same outfit! Did you plan this?”

They both laughed and Harry joked, “Yeah, I rang her and asked what she was wearing and went out and bought the same exact thing.”

“I wanted to give you a heads up so you could match us, too, but Harry told me not to because you would outshine us,” Y/N played along, making James belly-laugh along with the audience.

“I was this close to being upset with you both for not including me,” James laughed, settling down, “You two have never actually met before, have you?”

“No,” they both shook their heads, looking at each other for a second with a smile, “First time.”

“That’s surprising because you both seem to have a lot of the same friends.”

Harry nodded, “Yeah, we seem to run in the same circles, but never at the same time.”

“I think he was just avoiding me, really,” Y/N nodded, making the boys laugh.

Harry chuckled, “yeah, I see her at a party and I duck behind the trash cans,” he did his best impersonation.

James laughed, turning towards Y/N, “You must have been partying a lot this past weekend after your big win.” Y/N smiled widely while the audience, along with Harry, clapped loudly. Cheers, again, echoing from the crowd. James continued, “You’re new movie, Salacity, was nominated for a bunch of awards, but you made history as the first Brazilian to win an Academy Award for Best Actress. What was that like?”

Cheers erupted again and Y/N bit her lip, nodding and looking up at everyone. This never got old. “Thank you,” Y/N grinned, turning back towards James, “Honestly, I think I blacked out when they called my name.” Everyone laughed as she continued, “It was so surreal. I’ve always dreamt of winning an Academy Award but never thought in a million years that I would be the first Brazilian to win. I’m incredibly proud and grateful and just so honored to even be in the same room as all of those talented people. I’m very lucky.”

“Well you deserved every bit of it,” James nodded, earning a voice of agreement along with more cheers from the audience, “Salacity was also nominated for Best Original Song, which was written and sung by you, is that right?”

Y/N nodded, “Yeah, Harry’s not the only talented musician here.”

Both of them laughed as jokingly threw his hands up, stood, and pretended to walk off set. When he plopped back on the couch he said, “First you steal my outfit, then you steal my job?”

“I’m so sorry. I’ll let you open for my next tour,” she joked back.

She felt silly for being so nervous when she woke up this morning. Truth is, this is one of the easiest interviews she’s done. Normally she struggled for the right words to say or with getting a feel on whether she needed to be more professional or if she could let her silly flag fly. Because she knew James so well and got along with Harry so quickly, it made things a lot easier.

They discussed Harry’s career for a bit before circling back to Y/N as James said, “Now, we had your counterpart, KJ Appa, on our show last week. Such a nice guy, by the way.”

“So sweet,” Y/N nodded in agreement as James continued.

“And he had nothing but good things to say about you. He even said that you were one of the best on-screen kisses he’s had” James admitted, making the audience awe as Y/N blushed and smiled. James carried on, “But he did mention a particularly….awkward moment between the two of you on set. Care to elaborate?”

When Y/N’s eyes widened and shifted in her seat in embarrassment, James laughed. She looked at Harry beside her to see him curious and she began to explain, “Well, as you know, Salacity is a very, uhm, how do you put it?”

“Erotic?” James offered, laughing again.

Y/N nodded, chuckling, “Yes, there’s a lot of sex scenes. So, anyway one the very first sex scene we filmed, I’m in this sexy, lacey black lingerie, basically strapped onto this harness contraption in the air and KJ’s character has to come in from behind me, but the harness that was holding my arms snapped, tore off my bra, and I was dangling by my legs upside down with hundreds of crew members watching. And KJ, the sweet guy he is, sees that my bra came off and panicked, and he jumped in, practically hugging me as I was hanging upside down to cover me. But he didn’t realize that the only thing he was wearing was this sock that covered his dick because we were just about to film this sex scene, and it was all up in my face.”

Everyone burst into laughter as Y/N explained, “That poor guy was just trying to help, but they got me down pretty quickly. But it definitely lessened the tension for the rest of filming. We got closer after that.”

“Can’t get much closer than that, can you?” Harry joked, making her laugh, as well.

When that portion of the interview had finished, cameras cut and their team had rushed over to do a few quick makeup and hair touch-ups, laughing and joking with each other about how well it was going so far. They were then directed towards a different area of the stage, sat around a table with rancid smells lingering around.

“Have you ever done this before?” Harry asked her as they were getting re-wired and James was getting prepped.

Y/N shook her head, pushing her hair behind her back and screwing up her face, “No, and I might vomit just looking at all this stuff.”

Harry nodded, “I’ve got an extra toothbrush you can have afterward.”

James came back and they were given two minutes to get situated before the cameras focused in on them. Reggie and the band played the theme song of Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts, while Y/N rang her fingers and Harry looked between her and James. Cheers and claps sounded and James smiled teasingly at the two.

“You both look thrilled to be doing this,” he said, sarcastically.

“Oh, yeah, can’t wait,” Harry retorted.

Y/N pursed her lips, shaking her head, “I must have been out of my mind when I agreed to this.”

They laughed as James directed their attention to the table, spinning it, “Alright, let’s see what we’ve got here. We’ve got 1,000-year-old egg, Fish eye and bird saliva, cow tongue, salmon smoothie, cow blood and pork tongue jelly, bull penis, hot dog water, which is the absolute rankest thing I’ve ever had, and giant water scorpion.”

“Why?” Y/N groaned, sitting back in her chair in disgust.

Harry chuckled and James laughed as he explained, “So here’s how this game works. We are gonna ask each other questions, okay. The questions are written here and we have not seen them. We have a choice. We can either answer these questions truthfully, or, we have to eat the food that the other person chooses. Okay?” Harry and Y/N nodded in understanding. “Alright, ladies first. Y/N, you are going to choose a food for Harry that he has to eat, should he not answer the question.”

She glanced and spun the tabletop in search of food, bending down and taking a whiff of something awful, she gagged, making them laugh, turning the tabletop until something was placed in front of him, “I’ll go with the fish eye and bird saliva.”

“That’s the one I was least looking forward to,” Harry groaned.

“Were you looking forward to any of them?” James shot back, laughing. “Alright, Y/N, what is your question for Harry.”

Y/N turned her card over in her hands and scanned it before chuckling, blushing, and looking up at him, “Harry, backstage you mentioned you were a big fan of my new movie. How much of it had to do with my sex scene, and what did you think about it?”

“Which one?” he joked, smiling, making everyone in the audience gasp and giggle.

Harry blushed, straightening out his suit, a lopsided, shy smile still stretched on his face, “Uh...I mean, even without the sex scenes it’s a brilliant movie. But, uh, yeah. They were very….Oh god,” he slapped a hand on his forehead, looking down and making the audience laugh. Y/N shook her head in amusement as he attempted to regain composure, “Yeah, they were very realistic.”

“How many times did you rewind those scenes?” James teased.

“No, no, no, that wasn’t the question. It’s my turn now,” Harry waved his finger, making everyone laugh again as the band played and Harry spun the table. “James, I’m going to give you….well, I know how much you love hot dogs, so I’m gonna give you the hot dog water.”

“You dick,” James groaned, taking a sniff and gagging, “That really, truly is the worst thing we’ve ever had on this show. Alright, then, what’s my question?”

Harry picked up the card and grinned, “James, you have had a lot of big-name celebrities on your show. Who was the biggest disappointment?”

The crowd ooed as James’ face fell, shaking his head and looking back at the producers, “Who wrote these?”

“Come on, don’t be a pussy, answer it,” Y/N joked, making everyone laugh.

James shook his head, “I can’t. I can’t,” and he picked up the shot glass and tipped it into his mouth.

Everyone gasped and he immediately reached for the bucket and spit it all out, “That is horrible!” he exclaimed, rinsing his mouth out with water, “Why do we still have that? Alright, Y/N, I am going to pick for you….” he spun the table around before grinning and halting a pink, meaty cube in front of her, “Cow blood and pork tongue jelly.”

Y/N winced, poking at the large cube and gasping, “Oh my god, why is it so hard?”

“That’s what she said,” Harry chimed, making everyone laugh.

“We all know how you feel about my movie, Harry,” shot back, making everyone burst into laughter and Harry blush.

Harry hit his face for a second before James continued, snorting, and looking up at Y/N, “Y/N, you’ve been rumored to have very famous exes. Between Timothee Chalamet, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Zakhar Perez, rank them from best to worst in bed,” Y/N’s mouth fell as the audience gasped and laughed.

“Pattinson’s gotta be the best, hasn’t he?” Harry assumed, making Y/N hide her face.

“Now, this is not to say that any of them are bad. Maybe they're in the top three,” James suggested, “But of the top three, who is the worst,” he laughed.

Y/N uncovered her face and looked between the two men, reaching for her fork and knife.

“Oh god,” Harry winced, as James shouted, “No! No!”

She dug her fork in and sliced a corner off, “I never kiss and tell,” placing her knife down and taking a deep breath before hurriedly putting it in her mouth. The texture was what she imagined dog food tasted like, and she gagged, grabbing her tin can and spitting it in before swishing her water around in her mouth and spitting that out, as well.

“That was disgusting,” Y/N blotted her mouth with the towel.

“I can’t believe you’ve done that,” James shook his head.

“And I’m not doing it again,” she took another sip of her drink, “Is it my turn now?”

“Yeah, Y/N, you go ahead and choose something for Harry to eat if he doesn’t answer the question.”

She spun until she landed on the 1,000 year old egg. James announced what it was as Harry nodded and said, “Alright”. Y/N picked her card, turned it around, and said, “Oh, no.”

“Oh, God, what is it?” Harry sat up straighter.

“Harry,” Y/N started, “You and Niall are the only remaining members of One Direction who are not parents. Rank the members of One Direction from worst to best parents.”

Without hesitation, Harry stabbed his fork into the egg and shoved it in his mouth. Everyone gasped and Y/N pulled away, covering her face with the card and using it as a sort-of shield. He made a show out of slowly chewing it, holding back a gag. He used his water to swallow it down and stuck his tongue out to show that he had finished it.

“No way,” Y/N shook her head, nose scrunched.

“You are insane,” James shook his head.

“Tastes exactly the way you think,” Harry took another sip of water. “Right, James. I’m going to choose for you…...the water scorpion.”

“The giant water scorpion. For reference, this is what he’s chosen for me,” James picked up the stiff, hard, black bug and showed the camera. “Go on, what’s your question.”

Harry cleared his throat, picked up a card, and chuckled, “James, I’ve been on your show for years, and even taken over for you twice. Who is your favorite member of One Direction.”

A smile slowly spread on James' face and he shook his head, staring off at the audience as they screamed and laughed. “I can’t choose that,” James breathed, turning to face him.

“Well, you have to, or else you’ll be eating a giant water scorpion.”

“Oh, come on, we all know it’s not Harry,” Y/N joked, earning an amused glare from Harry.

“Excuse me,” Harry said, “I happen to know, for a fact, that it is me. Go on, James. Tell ‘em.”

“You think it’s you, do ya?” James questioned, looking between them before finally picking up the water scorpion, “You keep thinking that,” he joked before taking a bite of its head and chewing. He laughed mid-chew, spit it out in his bucket, and took another sip of water.

“How dare you,” Harry joked, indignantly.

James laughed, turning the table, “Y/N, It’s my turn to ask you a question. But first, I’m going to give you the salmon smoothie.”

“Ugh,” Y/N sniffed it’s pungent aroma, sitting away from the glass of pink, chunky fish.

She looked up at James as he scanned the card and laughed, “Y/N, you were nominated for a lot of awards this year. Who has won against you that didn’t deserve to?”

“Oh noooo,” Y/N trailed, throwing her head back, causing James and Harry to laugh.

“No, come on, we were all shocked on at least one of those categories,” James offered. Y/N shook her head, taking hold of the glass.

“Chug, chug, chug!” Harry chanted, compelling the audience to join in.

“Fuck off,” Y/N mouthed to Harry, making him laugh as she took a swig of the monstrous drink.

The second it hit her tongue, she heaved, quickly grabbing the tin and spitting the contents in as James called the end of the game. She took several sips of water, gulping it down to alleviate the lingering taste in her mouth. They called for a wrap, and Harry immediately dug out a packet of gum from his pocket, offering one to each of them while more crew rushed up to them.

Y/N thanked him, shoving the wrapper in her suit pocket, and after they were briefed from the crew, they had about fifteen minutes to spare while they set up for Harry’s performance. People from each of their teams tried to talk to them, but Y/N had something else in mind.

“Follow me,” she told him, grabbing his arm and jogging through the halls backstage. He chuckled, confused, but intrigued, following closely behind her until they reached the door of her dressing room. “Give me your suit jacket.”

Harry’s eyebrows raised and mouth formed an ‘O’, realizing what she was doing. With a grin, he unbuttoned his suit and shrugged it off, carefully handing it over to her. She shot him a smile, which made him grow steadily more keen, watching as she slipped into the room and closed the door behind her, disappearing. He waited, leaning against the wall for what seemed like a little longer than necessary for switching jackets. When she emerged wearing his jacket, his smile widened.

“Looks better on you,” he smirked.

She smiled, passing him the clump of red fabric that was her top, “Let’s see if we can say the same about you.”

He slipped his arms through the sleeves of her jacket, and although there was plenty of room in the arms because of the flare, the chest and waist were a bit tight. He made sure not to tie the sash too tightly and straightened it out, “How do I look?”

She giggled, flattening the collar of the jacket and joking, “Beautiful.”

They made their way back towards the main area of the backstage, surrounded by their teams and crew, laughing about the jacket change and prepping Harry some more as he rummaged through a small travel-sized toiletry bag for the disposable toothbrushes and toothpaste, and the two of them brushed their teeth.

Eventually, Harry was ushered to another stage where he and a band were situated. Lights dimmed and shone strategically on him as he was announced and began to play. Y/N, never having been to a Harry Styles concert, and a fan of his music, watched from the side of the stage, arms crossed and leaning against a large black case of some sort. He looked over at her a couple of times, trying to hide a coy smile, he danced around the stage and used the sash on her jacket like a rope, swinging it around.

When he finally finished, she, along with the studio audience, clapped and cheered for him. He thanked them, clasping his hands and bowing a few times, humbly repeating, “Thank you,” while James announced it was a wrap. Y/N joined Harry on the stage where the two of them, along with James, greeted people in the audience, signing pictures, papers, and phone cases, just chatting with the fans and taking selfies with them.

James, Harry, Y/N, and their publicists spent about an hour and a half to two hours after the taping to sit down at a nearby restaurant for a bite to eat. They were seated at a private table, enjoying some more banter and fun. She had a feeling that Harry was flirting with her, or maybe she was just hoping he was. He started it off by sneakily stealing bits of fries off of her plate throughout the meal as he sat across from her, and she would reciprocate by ‘accidentally’ stepping on his toes under the table.

“Hope I didn’t scuff those Gucci loafers,” she winked, smirking.

As much as she didn’t want the night to end, there weren't many excuses she could make to prolong the conversation, and everyone else was very clearly tired aside from the two of them. Y/N stayed towards the back of the group as they made their way back outside, and Harry slowed his pace and hung back until he was walking side-by-side with Y/N.

“I guess I should give this back to you,” he slipped the jacket off of him as they exited through the back, letting the cool LA air swirl on their faces.

Everyone was giving hugs and saying their goodbyes. Y/N looked down at her jacket in his hand and she leaned in to kiss either side of his face, lingering a little longer than normal. When she pulled away she shook her head and lightly pushed the jacket back towards him, “No. Keep it. An excuse to see you again.” And as she began walking backward to join her group, she called out, “check the pockets.”

His toothy smile turned into a furrowed eyebrow. Confused, he dug his hand in either pocket of the jacket until he pulled out what looked to be the gum wrapper. But, upon closer inspection, he noticed a series of numbers written in black ink. Her phone number. He looked up just in time to see Y/N opening a car door.

“Call me!” she shouted, smirking, before getting in and closing the door.

Harry’s smile grew even more, clutching the red jacket tighter and slinging it over his shoulder, making sure to carefully store the gum wrapper in his wallet and watching as her car drove off down the street and out of view.

------------------------------------

Taglist:

@odetostep @mylittleangel9403 @thurhomish @fallingfordolans @gwenlovesharrystyles , @harryswinterberries, @gucciboots, @golden-grande, @mylittleangel9403​ @korlynn-grace @ilovedogs1989 @aalessandrabarboni

@f4llingfairy

[illuminatedquill]

Nevertheless, Episode 9

More Thoughts/Analysis

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”

- E.A. Bucchianeri

Jae Eon’s Self Sabotage

Chekov’s Gun is the dramatic principle that details within a story will contribute to the overall narrative. You might have heard of this before in its simplest form: if there is a gun shown in Act 1, it absolutely must go off in Act 2 or 3. In episode 9 of Nevertheless, we have this scene right at the beginning:

Yes, that scene. Park Jae Eon sees Yang Do Hyeok standing off to the side as he waits outside Na Bi’s apartment to retrieve his stuff. Na Bi doesn’t know Do Hyeok is nearby. Jae Eon makes the calculation in his head and manipulates his way inside Na Bi’s apartment, knowing exactly what it looks like to Do Hyeok. It’s petty revenge for seeing Na Bi and Do Hyeok together on campus from earlier.

This is the gun. And it backfires on Jae Eon big time. Throughout the entire episode, his acts of sincerity towards Na Bi seem genuine and heartfelt, yet his action in that one scene undermines anything he attempts. It doesn’t work; to his mounting frustration, Na Bi and Do Hyeok continue to talk and meet as if nothing happened.

(We know that’s not the case as seen from Do Hyeok’s alone time but I’ll talk about that later in this post.)

It’s a ticking time bomb and it goes off at last in the rain scene. Nothing is working for him. He is desperate not to lose Na Bi. And he goes off in a drunken rage on Na Bi after she returns home on that fateful rainy night.

And he loses her. The gun goes off. Everything sincere he did turns rotten in Na Bi’s eyes after he reveals his actions. Actions have consequences, always rippling forward and affecting change in moments not yet experienced. He ruined his chances because of his petty cruelty towards Do Hyeok in the beginning. His sincerity only extended towards Na Bi and it was only to get her attention once more.

Jae Eon lost. Not so much to Do Hyeok, as he lost to Na Bi, who cares about him deeply. He underestimated her feelings towards Do Hyeok, assuming, like so many other viewers, that he was an an irritating distraction that refused to go away.

He can’t fathom why Do Hyeok still seems to like Na Bi after seeing them enter her apartment together. Is he really that incredible a person? What makes him so special?

Well, let’s talk about it.

Do Hyeok’s Crisis Playbook

We see from Do Hyeok’s time alone after his initial visit to Seoul that he is taking it pretty hard; I can’t really blame him, considering what he saw that night. His struggle is open, honest, and raw; like Na Bi, it affects him to the point that he can’t focus on his work (anyone seem to notice that Jae Eon’s work never seems to be affected by his feelings?).

It’s jealousy and insecurity eating away at him. Just like Jae Eon. He’s also desperate not to lose Na Bi but doesn’t want to do anything untoward or overboard because he’s afraid of ruining their friendship. Once again, his consideration is for Na Bi and how she feels, but he cannot ignore what he saw and how he feels about it.

So, what is our favorite Potato Boy to do? Park Jae Eon already made his move by staging that whole scene of him and Na Bi going into her apartment together. How does Do Hyeok fight back? What’s his playbook in this time of crisis?

He doesn’t fight back. And that’s how he stays in the game. Do Hyeok is not a player like Jae Eon; there isn’t a manipulative or deceptive bone in his body. Do Hyeok does what he always does and doubles down on his sincerity, on the strength of his feelings, and his faith in Na Bi.

Do Hyeok doesn’t play the game Jae Eon tries to involve him in. He always lays it all out on the table with Na Bi so there is no room for misunderstandings. That’s one of the reasons why their relationship works so well; they talk more. Not just about feelings or romance but about school or their day to day life. What they’re building now is something that can last a lifetime.

So he talks to her about it. And admits his jealousy. She wasn’t even aware that he had seen them and yet it sounds like he’s the one who is apologizing (even though he never let his hurt feelings show in his conversations with Na Bi, DO HYEOK YOU ARE TOO GOOD). He lays himself bare to her once more. We don’t see Na Bi’s response other than her shocked and guilty expression, which is annoying because it would definitely be interesting to see how she reciprocated his frankness.

(Underrated super cute scene between them in this episode; when they meet up at night and bring drinks for each other. It’s even the exact same drink. I was grinning like a maniac.)

But Na Bi is familiar with Jae Eon’s game. And when she finds out how badly Do Hyeok was hurt by Jae Eon’s actions (and how he involved her in it) Na Bi finally is snapped to her senses and severs the thread still binding her and Jae Eon together.

Na Bi’s choice isn’t shown as a redemptive or heroic moment. It never was supposed to be. Although I’m sure a lot of us were cheering in that moment, her moments of unrestrained grief alone afterwards are the sobering reality that love, as always, comes with a price.

Nabi’s Choice (The Review)

This is a follow up to my earlier post before episode 9 came out. So, now we see what Na Bi decides and, maybe, how it will all play out in the next episode (barring any last minute twists).

First, let’s address the still ongoing criticism I see regarding Na Bi and Do Hyeok’s relationship: lack of passion, no romantic vibes, blah blah blah. I wrote at length in a previous post why that isn’t true - at least on Do Hyeok’s part (one of the reasons why we don’t get internal monologue from Do Hyeok is because what else is he thinking about other than Na Bi?).

Na Bi, on the other hand, is still ambivalent about her feelings towards Do Hyeok. Episode 9 provided more clarity for her stance towards Jae Eon - he’s the dog shit she stepped on and was promptly wiped away in the grass - but Do Hyeok is still a mystery. Yes, she’s friendly, she cares, and genuinely enjoys being with him but the spice, the passion is missing. And that is kinda important for a romantic relationship.

Well. Look no more. Na Bi has spice for Do a Hyeok and it shows not once, but twice this episode. Where’s the passion? Jae Eon fucked around and found out. Very kind of him. Turns out Na Bi, like all of us who like Do Hyeok, will not tolerate any Do Hyeok slander and I am 100 PERCENT here for it.

There’s a scene shortly before the climatic rain fight where Na Bi is having another meeting with her assistants: the junior (does he have a name? Jin-su?) and Jae Eon. The junior talks to Na Bi about her and Park Jae Eon: the usual tired gossip of whether or not they’re dating. Na Bi waves it away like dandelion fluff.

And then the junior mentions Do Hyeok. “What about the noodle shop guy? Ever since the camp meeting, people have been saying there’s a higher chance you’re dating him.”

And Na Bi just . . . we’ve never seen this from her before, even when she broke up with Jae Eon in episode 5. Her whole demeanor turns ice cold and her voice is wicked sharp as she proceeds to shut down that avenue of questioning. The junior physically leans back from the force of her anger and wonders aloud why she’s so upset (you’re talking about her love life as gossip, idiot, why do you think she’s so upset). Jae Eon walks in and doesn’t see the foreshadowing; he just hears Do Hyeok and it feeds his jealousy.

There it is, everybody. Evidence of Na Bi’s feelings for Do Hyeok and what he means to her. Her protectiveness over him and her refusal to let him be involved in the drama surrounding herself and Jae Eon. Her desire to be the better around him; not because he asks (and he would never) but because his feelings for her make her think she might be worthy of such a love.

And then there’s the rain scene. Na Bi and Jae Eon, vulnerable in the rain. Na Bi admits to her faults in the relationship, how she brought this upon herself. No, she hasn’t been nice or good this whole time; in fact, she’s been kind of terrible. But Jae Eon revealing what he did and how it was to hurt Do Hyeok wakes her up and convinces that the time has come to end this “game”. It got Do Hyeok hurt because of her inability to end it with Jae Eon and good people don’t let that happen to people they care about.

So Na Bi ends it with Jae Eon and chooses herself. At last. And to do so, she has to cut out this malignant tumor of a relationship and, God, does it hurt so much to end it, but she gets it done and takes the first step to being a better person for herself.

The cinematography in this drama is top tier and we see her situation presented so viscerally. She’s alone, in the light, but it’s not a warm, redemptive light; it has a sickly, yellow tint and is surrounded by darkness.

But she’s still there. She still made it.

One Last Observation, I Promise

Last thing I noticed from this episode that I want to talk about: the professor’s critique of Na Bi. She specifically mentions that a good artist can inspire others and Na Bi, whether she realizes it or not, actually does do that.

Na Bi helps Do Hyeok with his videos, giving advice that helps boost their popularity and making them better.

Jae Eon is inspired to make the butterfly bracelet for Na Bi and gifts it to her.

The difference between the two? Do Hyeok actually thanks Na Bi for her help and points out that it was her influence that made his videos better.

Jae Eon obviously means his gesture to be romantic and sincere but he again fails to talk about why he’s doing it. The implication is there but Na Bi needs more than some vague nonsense.

Communication is at the heart of this episode and how, without it, relationships stagnate and fail. Bit Na + Gyu Hyun and Soljiwan couple - their relationships only progress because the couples voice their concerns and fears to one another. And instead of being rejected or being hurt, it allows their partners to reassure them and move forward with their relationship.

Why do Na Bi and Jae Eon fail? They. Don’t. Talk. Na Bi is stuck inside her head and Jae Eon relies on vague gestures and sexual chemistry to express himself.

Why do Na Bi and Do Hyeok succeed? Because they talk. About everything. Their dialogue is clear and honest and sincere without any hidden meanings or motives. And you see why Na Bi is rapidly moving more and more towards Do Hyeok and not Jae Eon.

(The preview does raise some questions about how it will all end but I don’t think the show is going to pull a bait and switch and have Na Bi end up with Jae Eon. I also don’t think it’s likely they’ll have an open ending, either. I’ll talk about that in another post.)

My next post will be what I envision to be the best version of a Na Bi and Do Hyeok endgame and what I mean by that since Na Bi shouldn’t be dating anyone right now. So, look forward to that.

Until next time, everybody. Thanks for reading this long ass post. Hope you enjoyed it.

[ramblingguy54]

Honestly, I haven’t been chatting enough about Owl House Season 2, so I’m gonna make some bullet points here about what I’ve been loving from these first five episodes.

-Lilith & Hooty’s whole friendship dynamic. It’s very nice, ironic, funny, and super cute to see two polar opposites become the most unlikely of friends. Also, it adds a nice change of pace to a side character, like Hooty, who was the guy no one liked to hang around with much as a running gag in Season 1. Now Hooty has someone who enjoys his company and values much of what he has to say, too. Lilith knows what it’s like to not have people enjoy their company, as she made choices that winded up putting her in a place of solitude from actual healthy socializing. For a long time Lilith didn’t have anyone to genuinely consult, until this silly freaking Owl tube came along to give a sense of safety after abandoning her ideals that defined this Witch for a couple of decades.

-Getting me to actually care more about King’s role in this story line. King wasn’t someone who really clicked with me in Season 1′s run time. I liked his episodes centering on the sibling dynamic he had with Luz sure, but not any one of them made me go, “This character is actually very endearing and want to see more of their journey.” , where I took King more as an overall decent member of the cast at best. Echoes of the Past seriously surprised me in how well it executed his backstory showcasing the strong connection he has to Edalyn & Luz in general as a found family. The revelation of how Eda & King met, on top of her dubbing him with that name this little guy cherishes, paints a picture of how much Eda truly cares about the young demon. Edalyn wanted him to feel good about his place in their world, which only ended up being a mistake she’d have to correct afterwards in this episode. Echoes of the Past was such a lovely surprise in how well it succeeded in building upon the lore of this interesting world and giving King’s development more of a dramatic and tragic revelation of characterization. I’d arguably say what they did with King’s may be the best part for me in Season 2, thus far. It really was that much of a shock for me in what they accomplished.

-Amity & Luz, my God where do I even begin with these two cute love birds? If Grom Night was the story’s way of acknowledging Amity has got a crush on Luz, then this episode lit a spark underneath our main heroine’s interest in her romantically. When Amity charged in against her parent’s improved abomination saying like a badass, “Get away from my Luz!”,  anyone could see how mesmerized Luz looked at her actions. Part of me thought they’d continue doing the unaware protagonist trope, where Luz wasn’t aware of Amity’s feelings or even gains a crush of her own, either. Really enjoying how Dana Terrace and her crew have been approaching this representation of LGBTQ through making the whole concept of Lumity romance feel super organic from both ends. It’s no longer a one sided deal with only Amity having feelings for someone, who helped make her once miserable life so much greater. Luz now views her in the same inspiring light Amity did in Grom Night’s story of seeing this person as more than a friend, but a significant individual she wants to share her life and world with back on Earth. This is how you do a romantic representation without beating viewers over the head of how much you’re pushing boundaries. Let the characters actions speak on how they feel about each other.

-Gwendolyn’s introduction the story was a very welcoming one, as it gave more of a complicated shake up to how interesting, yet tragic, Edalyn & Lilith’s lives are when it comes to their relationship with their respective parent. Lilith choosing to curse Eda already put many years of guilt upon herself, but to not get any attention afterward from her mother’s top priority becoming curing her sister’s curse instead? Talk about another way to look it as Lilith feeling more down in the dumps for putting that curse on Eda. Lilith likely felt as if she didn’t deserve to be loved after throwing her sibling under the bus to get into the Emperor’s Coven, which led to a long struggle of trying to makes amends. Bringing their mother into Season 2 was a terrific way to shed more light onto how this crazy family operates and show just how much the curse affected them all emotionally on different levels. Eda had to distance herself from others, Lilith searched to find answers on her own, and Gwendolyn poured so much of her life into wanting to help her youngest child, at the expense of forgetting about Lilith’s needs. A great representation of a flawed, yet still loving, family tree.

-Showing Gus’ magical illusion abilities in a seriously cool, albeit disturbing manner, of how even if he may be limited to using just one type of magic doesn’t mean it’s not powerful. How they went about evolving the strength of illusions being used to even physically fool people into feeling the touch of it, while showing a greater strain on its user casting said spell, adds a new level of awesome to Gus’ abilities. It shows he can become a great asset to his friends in the future of growing events and not just get sidelined unfairly, due to a growing power scale of some kind. That was another one of my favorite parts of the episode, beside that whole deal many are talking about surrounding Lumity’s very great growth in Through The Looking Glass Ruins. Give it up for the future MVP Gus over here, as I can see this stuff coming into play against the Emperor’s Coven conflict possibly in Season 2′s finale when shit gets very real. 

[harrysweasleys]

Lost

Request: Hii could you do a Draco x reader where she's the super perfect student, really kind and happy girl but one day he finds her drinking and smoking and crying because she's so sad and like, lost?thank youu💗

Warnings: language, underaged drinking

Word Count: 3k

A/N: so this is a little ooc but i tried my best! also, my requests are still open but i’ve got a long line so it might be a while, sorry to those still waiting! xxx (gif is not mine.)

-

“I mean did you see the look on Bell’s face when I knocked the Bludger at her face?” Pansy grinned, flopping down on the couch next to you, her hair still wind-swept from the Quidditch match she had won with Slytherin that afternoon.

“I did see her face, you did a good job,” you replied, grinning, “It’s always nice to get a win.”

“I’m still surprised you didn’t come back to the Quidditch team this year. We miss our Keeper,” she playfully nudged your shoulder, knocking you over to the side slightly.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, Pans,” you sighed, “I’m really trying to focus on my NEWTs so I didn’t want the distraction. But I still love watching!”

“Psh, it’s not the same,” she rolled her eyes, “Besides, I could talk to you about how our stupid captain likes to inflate his ego.” You giggled lightly, remembering all the good gossip sessions the two of you shared while you were on the team.

“Wouldn’t be talking about me, now would you?” Draco asked, sitting on the couch opposite of you, his hair tousled and his nose still pink from the brisk outdoor air.

“Never,” you smiled, lifting your legs to place your toes closer to the fire. Despite the fireplace that raged on every hour of the day, the common room always had a chill in the air — being in the dungeons and under the Black Lake probably had something to do with it. It didn’t help that you got cold easily.

“How’d you like the game?” he nudged his head in your direction, placing his hands behind his head and leaning back, closing his eyes in exhaustion. His jawline stuck out and his eyelashes fluttered shut, brushing against the pale skin of his cheeks.

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts, “Good. You all did really well. Nice job catching the Snitch too.”

He opened his eyes once more and grinned at you, “Always love your positivity. See, Pansy, this is how true friends behave. They don’t hit each other with broomsticks.”

You hid your giggle, watching as Pansy leaned forwards with her eyes wide, “You were being an arse, Malfoy.”

“C’mon, Pans, did you actually hit him with a broom?” you asked, still containing your giggles. The two of them had a bantering friendship, never really seeing eye-to-eye, but they didn’t exactly hate each other either. You were often stuck playing mediator.

“Yes, she did, I have a bruise on my eyebrow,” Draco leaned forwards, pointing to his eyebrow. You couldn’t see much considering the fire was the only light source, but you pretended to see it.

“What did he do to deserve a broomstick whack?” you turned to Pansy, a light smile on your lips as Draco leaned back into the couch cushion with a scowl on his face, directed straight at the girl sitting next to you.

“He let his ego get in the way. When we were celebrating the win, he said we wouldn’t have won if he didn’t catch the Snitch,” she glared at him, arms crossed, “So — like I said, he was an arse.”

You nodded, feeling like you were in the middle of a fight between two children who were arguing about who hit who first.

“Aw, and how did that make you feel?” you placed a hand on her shoulder condescendingly, making her scoff and whack your arm away. You started laughing, ignoring the way she stood up and flipped Malfoy off before going towards the dorm rooms and disappearing behind the door.

“Drama Queen,” Draco mumbled, getting up from his spot on the couch and coming to sit next to you, taking the seat that was previously Pansy’s.

“Says you,” you retaliated, a smirk on your face. You turned to face him, noticing the bruise above his eyebrow now that the fire light was hitting it directly. Despite the little mark, he still looked really good.

Now, you and Draco weren’t exactly dating, but it was clear that there was some sort of connection between you two. From the moment you had met, you picked up on how different he was. Entitled, yes, but he had a certain intriguing air about him that drew you in, and he found the same about you.

He was tough, while you were kind. He was rebellious and hard, while you were focused and passionate. There was a fire in his eyes, ready to burn through whatever stood in his way, while you used the road that didn’t exactly require demolition.

Long story short, you were polar opposites, and that’s exactly what drew you to each other. You had a soft spot for each other and despite the flirting and the touching, you stayed friends and your other friends stayed oblivious.

“I’m not dramatic,” he mumbled, bringing you back to reality, “I’m just — shall we say determined?”

“Keep telling yourself that,” you grinned, pushing your shoulder up against his like Pansy had done to you beforehand.

“I will,” he grinned softly, gazing down at you with tired eyes, “Also, I saw you wore my sweater to the game.”

Your cheeks flushed, “Oh, sorry, I just saw it since you left it on the back of the chair last night and—,”

“No, I liked it,” he cut you off, chuckling, “It was cute.”

You sat back silently, grinning to yourself like a bit of an idiot, but trying your best to keep cool. After a good moment of comfortable silence, you peeled your eyes away from the cozy fireplace and turned to face Draco, who was mid-yawn.

“I’m off to bed then,” he stood up abruptly and smiled down at you, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you smiled back, watching his retreating form take off towards the boys dormitory, only to disappear seconds later with a silent shutting of the door.

You sulked back into the couch, noticing for the first time that you were indeed alone in the common room. The clock on the wall pointed at 12:13am — you had no idea it was this late. Where had the time gone?

A part of you was overwhelmed with sudden loneliness, tiredness, and fatigue, while the other part of you felt incredibly awake and aware of how currently small you felt in the entire world around you.

It didn’t make much sense, but your mind was prone to drifting away while you were tired. You’d think about how your parents hadn’t contacted you since you were told you got accepted to Hogwarts — you were a muggleborn — and they felt as if your ‘abnormality’ was too big to overcome. You’d think about how you had no idea why the magical world had picked you. You’d think about what you even wanted to do in the future.

You had spoken to Snape last year about working in Magical Law Enforcement, but you weren’t so sure anymore. Things had changed now that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to face it.

There were so, so many things that you kept bottled up, not watching to spill your deepest darkest emotions to your friends and scare them away. So, you put up the constant facade of a girl who wore a smile and held her head high.

After all, that’s the only side of you people saw anyways.

— —

The corridors are night were almost more magical than they were during the day. The lanterns lit up the walls and cast looming shadows over the intricate stone. The stars were clear from the mountainside and the moon’s light shone down upon the castle like that was its entire purpose.

You thought it was gorgeous.

Which is often why you found yourself wandering the halls in the hours before curfew, finding deserted halls and empty chambers to explore and discover. Luckily, due to the colder weather out, other students would rush back to the warmth of their dorms after dinner time, so you got to lurk around in privacy.

You found an open hallway overlooking the lake and decided to climb through the opening and sit on the ledge, admiring the way the moon’s light shone down on the ripples to look like dancing stars. And the way that the actual stars reflected off as well, as if the night sky had been placed into the lake.

The cool breeze passed through your hair, goosebumps rising in its wake. You could feel the way you entire body was ready to collapse, ready to fall over and stay there, but you held yourself up enough to reach into your thick jacket and pull out a flask.

Yes, you were underaged. No, you hadn’t stolen this.

Well, not technically.

You had stayed with your aunt and uncle over the last summer holidays and they had given you a flask for your birthday gift. A strange gift, if you had to admit, but it came in much handier than you expected.

So, you got rebellious. One day when they were out, you had filled the flask with an old bottle of Whiskey which hadn’t been touched in ages. And now, you carried the full flask around in case you found yourself at a low point.

Like now.

The day had been great up until now. Classes passed by smoothly, Draco and Pansy had kept their bickering to a minimum, and you had even been spoken to by Snape — your head of House — about being promoted to Prefect next term. You were more excited about it than you wanted to let on. Being Prefect meant you’d get to spend more time with Draco, who was of course, already one.

But as supper time came around, it was as if all of your good feelings were too good to be true. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly where your mood started to plummet, but after your cat — Mister Flufferson — got sick, and your period came on strong as well as a migraine headache and an overwhelming feeling of longing to have a break, you found yourself wanting to be alone for a good amount of time.

So that’s how you ended up sitting over the lake, silent tears pouring down your eyes and the flask gripped tightly in your right hand, lifting every so often just enough for you to take another sip.

The fiery liquid burned your throat, leaving it feeling like it was being scorched, but you kept on. The pain felt number by the second, and the fluttery feeling in your belly kept growing.

The tears didn’t stop, but you weren’t sobbing. You weren’t curled up on the floor with your head in your knees. You were just crying. Crying because you didn’t know how to deal with the feeling of being sad. Crying because you felt helpless, like there was nothing you could do to even help yourself. Crying because although you gave your time and energy to comfort your friends, none of them ever checked up on you because you just seemed happy.

So you kept drinking sip by sip until the dancing lights on the lake were more amusing than they had ever been.

“I don’t know, usually she’s out but something about her seemed different tonight,” a voice echoed down the corridor, making you close the flask quickly and widen your eyes.

Shit.

If it was a teacher, you’d be in deep trouble.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” a second voice spoke, “She’s always fine so she’s probably still fine.”

“Can you shut up, Parkinson?” the first voice snapped back. Your mind, although fuzzy, could make out the voices of Pansy and Draco, their heavy footsteps moving closer to you by the second.

You hopped over the ledge, hiding behind the stone wall and placing the flask back in your coat pocket. The sudden jump made your body suddenly nauseous, and you had to place your hand over your mouth to keep your dinner in.

“Did you hear that?” Draco’s voice seemed much closer.

“No. I’m going back to the common room, I’m freezing,” Pansy’s teeth were clattering, “when she comes back safe and sound I’ll be able to say I told you so.”

And with that, her footsteps retreated down the hall around around the corner.

You knew Draco was still standing there, so you continued trying to be quiet. But, to your extreme misfortune, you let out an incredibly loud hiccough.

“Is someone there?” Draco’s voice was louder, he was no longer trying to be quiet.

“No,” you replied back just as loud, smacking your forehead as you realized you gave yourself away.

His head immediately peered over the ledge, seeing you crouched down in the grass.

“Y/N! I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he spoke sternly, his face trying to be strict but his eyes showing clear signs of concern, “Why are you hiding down here in the grass?” He stuck out his hand for you to grab, which you did.

“No reason,” you let him pull you up, but you stumbled as you made your way over the ledge, his hands steadying you by grabbing your waist.

“Wait — were you crying?” his eyes noticed yours, the red puffiness giving you away.

“Of course not,” you sniffed, pulling away from him and using the wall to steady yourself. You had either stood up way too fast or the whiskey was getting to your head, but dizziness was very much present.

“Yes you were, don’t lie to me,” he walked closer to you, “Are you drunk?”

His tone made you wince, “No. I just had some whimsey.”

He crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow, “Whimsey? You mean whiskey? Merlin, Y/N, what were you thinking?”

You stood up taller, squaring your shoulders so you didn’t look so weak and pathetic.

“I wasn’t thinking, Draco,” you replied softly, “Just let me be.”

Of course, you didn’t want him to leave you alone. If anything you wanted his company more than anything, but you hated the fact that now he’d seen you at your lowest.

“I’m not leaving you,” he placed a hand on your shoulder. You weren’t sure what caused it, but next thing you know, you let out a sob and leaned against his shoulder, your body shaking and your tears soaking his robes.

“Woah, what’s wrong?” he placed his arms around you, pulling you even closer to him so that he could be your support. He was the last person you wanted to show signs of weakness too, but at the same time, the only person you’d want comforting you.

“I’m just... I don’t know. Sad,” you tried speaking through your sobs, your words muffled against his clothing.

“Hey, talk to me, I’m here,” he coaxed soothingly, hands slowly rubbing circles on your back. You continued to cry, but brought your face away from his shoulder to look at him, nodding slightly.

So you told him everything. Maybe it was the whiskey still in your system that made you braver, but you told him about every dark, hollow feeling that was lurking in your chest. Every worry that you had, every insecurity. Every problem. Everything.

And he sat there and listened to every single word.

After you finished rambling — what felt like two hours later — he pulled you into the tightest hug you had ever felt.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled against your hair, “I had no idea you felt that way. I’m the worst friend. I didn’t even notice you were at your low. I’m so sorry, I was selfish.” He rubbed your back once more, “I’m sorry you felt alone but you’re not. I’m here. I’m always here for you. To listen, to vent, to help, to give advice, to reassure. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Draco,” you muttered, letting out a deep sigh now that a massive weight felt lifted off your shoulders. Your tears had slowed down, but Draco didn’t pull away from the embrace.

“Always here,” he repeated, “Always here.”

Eventually, you pulled away to be able to breathe. His hug was practically bone crushing. Comforting, but your ribs were hurting.

Your confession sobered you up, and you gazed into his eyes to thank him for everything.

“You’re really beautiful, you know?” he asked softly, his hand making its way up and resting against your cheek, “It’s a bad time, I know but you really are.”

All the coldness left your body and was replaced by warmth. Your cheeks turned pink and you felt your insides bubble in joy.

“T-Thanks,” you grinned, trying to hide the creeping redness on your face, “You’re pretty cute too.”

“I know,” he smirked, shrugging. You giggled, whacking his arm softly, “I’m just joking. I appreciate it, Y/N.”

He leaned closer to you once more and pressed a delicate kiss on your forehead. Most people had never known Draco Malfoy to be soft or delicate in any way, but that was the only side of him you really knew. To you, he was a totally different person than everyone else believed.

“Also a bad time, I don’t want to take advantage of you or anything, but do you — uh — wanna go to Hogsmeade with me? Next weekend?” he asked hopefully, his hand pulling away from you.

You couldn’t fight the smile that rose to your mouth. For months you had imagined what it would be like to go on a date with him, and here he was. Finally asking you.

“Of course,” you grinned like an idiot, biting your lip to stop yourself looking crazy.

“Good,” he nodded his head, a smile on his face as well, “Good, good.”

“Should we head back to the common room?” you asked, lacing your fingers with his. He nodded, still smiling at you, and the two of you started walking slowly back down to the dungeons. The cold air no longer really a problem as his hand was still linked with yours, the happy warmth replacing every bad feeling you had felt that night. You felt as if now that Draco was on your side, everything would end up being so much better, so much easier to deal with.

As the two of you walked into the common room, both still smiling with your hands locked, a squeal startled you both.

Pansy, unaware of the situation you had both just been through, looked down at your intertwined hands with a massive grin.

“Finally!”

-

[sergeanttpoliteness]

➹types of kisses➹(peter parker x reader)

A colorful collection of your many types of kisses, because a kiss can have more than just one meaning.

a/n: i know i’m three days late, but this is my christmas present :) (sorry for the shitty title) it’s kinda different to what i usually write because there’s really no... plot? it’s just one big but short compilation of fluff and tropes that will give you real bad diabetes. i was gonna include a break-up kiss but bc i’m nice, i decided against it lmaoooo. also !! i wrote this for ps4 peter, but i honestly can imagine it with mcu peter as well-- just choose whatever you prefer ! anyway, i hope whoever is reading this has a wonderful new year, ily.

warnings: making out, a lil bit of grinding but nothing more than that, cursing.

——-

FIRST KISS - KISS ME IN THE PARK, WE’LL MEET UP AFTER DARK

It wasn’t exactly how you wanted it to be.

Not that you thought about kissing Peter Parker too much, anyway. He was one of your best friends, and who thinks about kissing friends? Definitely not you.

Alright, that was a lie— you used to think about it. A lot. And unbeknownst to you, he did as well. However, contrary to your lack of knowledge about his urges, you did know that, for a while now, his feelings towards you changed. And, similarly, he was aware that your own feelings for him, too, transformed into something more. Further than friendly embraces or innocent sleepovers when you were little kids. Bigger than platonic emotion. More than a simple friendship.

It lingered in your minds and was evident in everyone’s eyes, yet neither of you had the courage to move past friendship.

One night at eleven-thirteen, as the two of you— two grown-ups— were in a playground, doing the spider on a swing together and laughing enough that your stomachs ached, that craving to meet his lips resurfaced with such vigor, it spilled out of your mouth.

“Can I say something?!” You laughed as you swayed higher into the air, a yelp involuntarily fleeting past your lips and your legs tightening around Peter’s waist since you feared you were close to falling off the swing and on your back. “Thank you for picking up— shit!— the phone! I really missed you, you know— ow, okay, this really hurts!”

“Okay, I think you’ve had enough,” Peter’s feet immediately skidded against the ground to put your swinging to a halt, sand flying everywhere. Once you were still, you both remained giggling and with youthful smiles that reached your eyes. “Of course I was gonna pick up the phone. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?” He said, and you had to hold yourself back from making a face at the word ‘friend’. You couldn’t complain— that’s that you were, after all. Except that this didn’t feel like merely hanging out, rather it appeared like a date.

“It’s pretty late, though.”

Peter shrugged. “Even if it were three AM, I’d still answer any of your calls.”

Your face softened and you bit the inside of your cheek, staring down at your lap. “That’s cute. But if you called me at three AM, I’d tell you to fuck off and then go back to sleep.” Peter opened his mouth in disbelief at your honesty, shaking his head.

“Wow, thanks. I’m glad our love is mutual.”

“It is mutual,” And it was indeed. “I just express it differently. For example, I tell you to stop working yourself to the bone so you can hang out with me and do adult stuff.” You placed one hand on his shoulder and gestured with the other to the empty playground you were in.

Peter chuckled, quirking a brow whilst he unconsciously began to move the two of you back and forth a little. “Adult stuff, huh?” You nodded solemnly.

“This is very mature.” You raised your nose in a not-so-mature way. Peter copied your previous gesture, humming.

“You’re right. Playgrounds were made for twenty-three-year-olds, after all.”

You giggled, but then changed your expression into a more stern one. “For real, you gotta give yourself a break.” You warned him, shaking your finger at him to add more of an emphasis, however, instead you amused him more than anything in the process.

He raised his hands. “Hey, it’s the city that never sleeps.” He defended, but you narrowed your eyes, giving him a look that was enough to communicate you were not accepting any humor. He dropped his hands and hung his head dramatically, sighing. “All right, I’ll try. But I can’t promise anything.”

You smiled sadly. “I know you can’t.” You quickly exchanged your frown for a smirk. “But if you don’t listen to me, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to make it up to me.” You joked, and Peter cocked his head to one side, wearing a crooked smile.

“How, exactly?”

All playfulness vanished and the warmth within your stomach took the spotlight yet again. Kiss me, a thought popped into your head, threatening to control your tongue. But you couldn’t. Even if your eyes accidentally flickered down to his mouth, and he undoubtedly noticed, for he gripped the swing’s chains tightly. You really wanted to say it.

So you chose to do it.

“Maybe you could…” You trailed off as soon as you caught onto some movement in the background, your sight shifting from Peter’s face to it. Suddenly, your eyes grew wide. “Oh, fuck.”

“W-What?” Peter turned to look behind his back, but before he could observe anything, he felt your legs unwrap from his body followed by a heavy object hitting the ground. His head whipped back to stare at you, and now his eyes were the ones about to pop out of his sockets when he saw you on the ground. “Y/N! Jeez, are you okay—”

You jumped to your feet, not bothering to dust off the sand off your clothes before you yanked Peter away from the swing, shushing unnecessarily louder and completely opposing your intention. “Shut up! We have to hide!” You hissed at him, peeking behind his body.

Peter tried following your gaze a second time, but you pulled at his arm harshly. “Why?!”

“Just— just follow me!” Was your explanation as you dragged him to hide behind a tree. You put your hand against the wood, slowly leaning to your side until the tree trunk uncovered your eye. Pointing at a woman standing up from a bench and a guy walking up to her, you glanced back at Peter. “You see her?”

Peter furrowed his brows, momentarily looking down at you. “...Y-Yeah? Isn’t that the teacher you told me about? The one who teaches at your cousin’s school?”

“Yes! And look at her!”

Peter’s attention returned to the woman who hugged her jacket close to her body and now spoke to the man, not discerning anything suspicious at the moment. “She’s talking to someone.” He pointed out the obvious, unimpressed. You groaned, rubbing your eyes.

“That someone is one of her students.”

Peter blinked and eyed the man who turned out to be a teenager. “Oh, he looks much older—”

“Because he’s a fucking drug addict! And I bet she’s his dealer!” You scream-whispered at him, flailing your arm towards the pair.

“I thought you were just joking when you first said that.”

You rolled your eyes, and continued watching them. Whatever the conversation was, it had all of a sudden turned into an argument as the woman poked the kid’s chest with her finger. “Why are they just talking, though?” You asked quietly, as if Peter somehow would have the answer. The volume of their voices increased, but you couldn’t make out any of the words. Scoffing, you shuffled away from Peter. “I gotta hear what they’re saying—”

Before you could tip-toe away from the tree, Peter gripped your arm and pulled you into him. “No. She has a gun.” He motioned to an object peeking out of her pants’ back pocket, and upon further squinting your eyes, you realized it was, in fact, a weapon. Peter gently pushed you towards the tree and he took a step back. “I’ll go make sure nothing bad happens while you stay here, okay?”

You stuttered, your brows snapping together. “No, this is my fucking case, you dickhead.” You began to speed walk past him, but you couldn’t get too far— he grabbed your arm and tugged you back once again. “Peter!”

“Y/N, you’re not a goddamn private investigator—”

“Well, tonight I am!” You broke free from his grasp; however, he quickly had you back in his hold.

“No, what are you doing?!” He embraced you tighter when you squirmed wildly.

“Peter, the kid could be in danger!”

“You don’t even know how to fight!”

“Oh, and you do?” You retorted without thinking. When he processed the absurdity you’d just uttered, he let go of you and stared at you dumbfounded, struggling to speak. Finally, he pointed at himself, his forehead creased.

“I’m Spider-Man!”

You scrunched up your nose, nodding. “Yeah, I don’t know why I said that.”

You totally did. As he remained puzzled, you took the chance and started a race to a tree standing near the woman and the kid. Completely forgetting about Peter’s super-speed, you thought you had succeeded until halfway there, he quickly caught up to you. Without a warning, he tackled you to the ground, falling on top of you whilst you cried out in pain.

“Ow! What the fuck, dude?!” You groaned loudly, but then you slapped your mouth when you recognized how noisy you’d been. Their conversation stopped abruptly, crickets singing whole-heartedly as you and Peter stared at each other wide-eyed.

“Did you hear that? Did you bring someone with you?” You both heard the woman ask. To your horror, footsteps approaching you were the next sound to reach your ears. “Hey, who’s there?!”

“Great, look at what you did—”

“You fucking tackled me to the ground!”

Peter surveyed the area promptly, and his gaze fixated on the tree you initially sprinted towards. He didn’t hesitate before he lifted his hand and aimed his wrist to shoot a web to get both of you out of there. But you had other plans.

You gripped the collar of his shirt, distracting him. “I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do, but just— just trust me and follow me, okay?” You breathed out, eyeing him. Peter opened his mouth, about to ask for you to elaborate.

“Wh—” You pulled him down and crashed your lips into his, muffling his exclamation of surprise. Stunned, his eyes stayed open, and when he didn’t react, yours fluttered open to signal at him to play the part. As soon as the hairs of his arms stuck up, he shut his eyelids closed and kissed you back, cupping your face and fully getting into it.

The woman jumped from behind the tree, confident she’d found the culprits of the noise, and— well— yes, she had. However, she didn’t expect to walk upon two people on the grass, in the middle of a make-out session. She grimaced the moment she saw your legs around Peter’s waist and your hands running all over his back as you fucking moaned to a point that it was forthright pornographic.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, her cheeks reddening perhaps more than your face and Peter’s, and she instantly turned around, leaving you two alone.

You two continued, waiting until the woman made an excuse and abandoned the teen. Ten seconds passed and you finally broke the kiss, panting heavily as Peter unknowingly searched for your lips again. “That worked like a charm, huh?” You laughed, dazed and the speed of your heartbeat only incrementing when you saw Peter’s swollen lips.

“Yeah, yeah… a better warning would’ve been nice.”

“Shut up.”

“And was the moaning really… necessary?”

“I saw it on a show. It makes people more uncomfortable.” You explained, out of breath, and he nodded. You both stared at each other, not bothering to move yet. “For the record, you’re a good kisser.” You blurted out and grinned sheepishly. Peter returned the expression, chuckling and unbelieving of your existence.

“S-So are you. But my plan was better.” He smiled bashfully, holding himself up with his hands next to your head. You doubted his statement, narrowing your eyes.

“Did it involve kissing?”

“No.”

“Then it wasn’t.”

You might have forgotten about your drug deal case and continued making out.

HELLO AND GOODBYE KISSES - TOOTHPASTE KISSES

Two months into dating, neither of you thought much about them anymore. Once they became part of your routine, it’s an absent-minded action, not much different from brushing your teeth, or Peter entering your apartment through your window instead of the door like everyone else. But then again, Peter wasn’t merely everyone else. And your unconscious routine kisses weren’t exactly just another bullet point in your ‘to-do’ list, either. If one of you forgot, or simply did not have enough time to spare, you’d both find yourselves missing it.

Which was why you tried your best to follow through with them, despite what situations either of you found yourselves in.

The alarm did not go off that morning (or perhaps you both passed out before you could set it in the first place— you couldn’t remember precisely), reason why you nearly choked on the lather of toothpaste while you brushed your teeth as if your life depended on it. In a way, however, it did, especially your job: you were now running outrageously late, and you could already imagine your boss’ blank expression as he told you he needed to ‘have a talk’ with you since this was the third time it occurred. You whined. You were doomed.

Peter joined you in the bathroom, jumping on one foot as he slid his other leg into his Spider-Man suit. He made a noise and caught your attention— finally, you noticed he had an entire piece of toast in his mouth. He tried to say something with the bread in between his teeth, but it was incomprehensible. You raised your brows, attempting to communicate with him without taking out your toothbrush. You both went on like that for thirty seconds: doing hand gestures and mumbling without getting any idea across until Peter finally put on his suit and bit off a chunk of his breakfast.

“Have you seen my phone?” He asked, his mouth full. You spat out the toothpaste and he couldn’t help the smitten smile that his heart painted onto his face when he saw the froth around your mouth.

“I put it right next to my keys.” You said as you washed your brush. Peter hummed and swallowed before he walked up to you.

“Alright, thanks. I really gotta run now, though.” He planted a kiss on your temple and you groaned in disgust when you felt the crumbles of his toast on your skin.

“Gross,” You wiped your forehead and Peter rolled his eyes, shoving you playfully and about to leave until you grabbed his arm. “Wait!” You encircled his neck with your arms and pecked his cheek for longer than usual, purposefully smearing his face with toothpaste.

“Ugh, gross!” He mimicked you and leaned away from you, laughing. You puckered your white lips, still trying to reach him but his arms pushed you back. “Nuh-uh, I gotta run.”

“No toothpaste kiss from your love?”

“No.”

“Toast kiss?”

“You’re gonna get fired.”

You let him go.

Later that night, Peter entered your living room, his search for you coming to an end once he saw you asleep on the couch. He laughed quietly, in the back of his head wishing he was sleeping, too, with you, and he kneeled down in front of you. He kissed the tip of your nose— the way he liked to greet you in spite of what state you were in. When he stood up, you blinked your eyes open and you lazily grinned up at him. “Peter-Man is back.”

His gaze moved down to you, guilt appearing after he saw you let out a long yawn. “Ah, man, I didn’t want to wake you.”

You had to return his hello kiss, and so you clutched his hand and pressed your mouth against his gloved knuckles. “C’mere. Join me in my slumber.” You said with an overdone accent.

He didn’t even consider telling you to move to your bed. He plopped down on the small space left and snuggled into you, his own yawn overpowering him. You hugged him tightly from behind, and within minutes, you were both deep into your sleep.

The next morning, you woke up late yet again.

HEATED KISSES - WE’VE GOT ONE THING IN COMMON, IT’S THIS TONGUE OF MINE

It’d been your first date in four months, and you swore your sex drive had never been higher. 

Peter noticed, of course, and took the decision to ditch the dinner you had originally planned once you finished the movie you were watching— or tried to watch, since you couldn’t take your hands nor lips off him during its entirety. As the credits rolled, you straddled his hips, sucking on the flesh of his jaw. You itched to see his face when he groaned— and my God, that sound did not help your case at all.

You began to trail your mouth down his neck, decorating it with a whole masterpiece of bruises, and Peter wondered how he was going to cover those up; but at the moment, it did not matter a single bit. The two of you were too into it to pull away—

“Ugh, wait—” Or not. Peter stopped you and you blinked at him as he sat straight, taking out the TV’s control remote from under him. “That was really bothering me.” He immediately pulled you back into a kiss, tugging your hair and provoking a small moan out of you.

He broke away from you, his smirk transforming into the fuel feeding your lust. “You really like that, huh?”

“Shut up.” You mumbled and your lips continued to mold into each other with desperation, the sexual desire which had build-up since your last encounter brimming as your tongues met. Peter slowly began to lift the hem of your shirt, and your excitement erupted in the pit of your stomach at the fact that you finally wouldn’t have to wait anymore—

Your phone began to ring. You tried to ignore it, but your ringtone made it impossible. “Hold on,” You sighed, disappointed, and turned your phone off, your jaw set in annoyance. Yet again, you resumed where you left off, more urgent than before. Your hand moved his own back up to your hair whilst the other ran up his thigh. He failed in holding back the jerk of his hips as he pulled at your hair yet again, your moans synchronized. You couldn’t have been more elated you both wore your pajama bottoms as you began to grind down onto his crotch. 

Peter dug his fingers into your hips and he threw his head back, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down when he gulped to keep his noises down lest your neighbors heard you. “No, no, I wanna hear you—” You breathed out, speeding up your pace, whining yourself. He collided his mouth against yours, grunting into your kiss.

You didn’t know what had gotten into you, but you really, really, really did not wish to stop. And you weren’t going to this time, no matter what—

“Tonight’s our last party as high school people!” A voice and music blasted from the TV and you both jolted away from each other, startled. The credits had gone on long enough that the streaming service began to play a trailer for another movie, the volume at its fullest from where you’d left it earlier. You let out the most exasperated groan in your lifetime and furiously moved off of Peter to go and unplug the TV; however, he slipped his hands under your butt and picked you up.

“The bedroom—” He panted and stopped neglecting your lips as he carried you and ran towards your room, the two of you giggling maniacally when he stumbled through the door and then slammed it shut.

The trailer played all night long.

EMOTIONAL KISSES - STOP YOUR CRYING, IT’S ALRIGHT— SHUT UP, KISS ME, HOLD ME TIGHT

Peter had lost the fight.

Although you were useless, you tried getting there in time, hoping you could cause any distraction that would give him an advantage. But you heard the explosion, the walls and the ground rattling, and you dreaded you were too late.

You fell through the double doors, nearly losing your full balance and dropping to the floor. However, you maintained your composure, and tried to scan the room. The smoke hit your eyes and they stung, tears forming in your eyes which grew redder as the seconds passed.

Fire blazed throughout most of the room. You went down on all fours and shrugged your jacket off before you rapidly fastened it around your lower face. Your trembling hand grasped the pipe you’d kept with you in case you came upon someone, and you began to crawl into a cloud of smoke, praying Peter was still alive and breathing.

You fought hard to hold in the sobs that clawed at your throat. You couldn’t break down. Not right now, when Peter needed you.

“Peter!” You called out, coughing as a trace of fumes managed to sneak into your system. You went on with your search, nevertheless, even after your hand accidentally touched a scorching piece of metal and left your flesh screaming. Keep going, you told yourself when you cried out in pain, shaking yourself out of it. “Peter, it’s me! I-I’m here!”

A minute went by at most, but it seemed like an eternity. A minute and ten seconds, until you caught a glimpse of Peter’s body surrounded by flourishing flames. “Pete!” You stood up and ran to him, uncaring of your knees as you collapsed next to him. “O-Oh God…” You saw his burnt suit and whimpered, not knowing anymore if the tears pouring down your face were due to the smoke or the appalling despair poisoning your veins. You didn’t waste a single moment dwelling on the sight in front of you, though— right away, you grabbed him under his armpits and took in a restricted breath before you dragged him with you. You only moved him a few inches before you fell to your knees, heaving.

“Why are you so fucking heavy,” You sobbed, the terrifying realization that you might not make it out of there hitting you at full force. “N-No, you’re coming with me. We’re getting out of here, okay, baby?”

You didn’t know why you were speaking to his unconscious body. Perhaps it was the faint desire that he wasn’t gone yet, and he could somehow hear you. You could sense a coughing fit coming, but you stood back up and started hauling Peter across the floor again, this time mustering every last shred of strength your body possessed.

You had no answer to how you made it. But soon, you had gotten Peter as far away from the room as you could, and your arms gave out. You ripped his mask off, cupping his face with your dirty hands. He barely breathed. “Don’t leave me. Don’t you fucking dare. I’m gonna be so mad if you do.” You wiped your nose with your forearm and shook your hands, coughing. “Okay, okay, CPR.”

You placed the heel of your hand on his chest and put the other on top to push down hard. Push, push, push. You carried on begging him to stay with you as you did the compressions, your arms already too weak from having to carry him, but you continued pushing. Push, push, push. When you realized he still wasn’t breathing, you cursed loudly and began to blow into his mouth. You went back to doing compressions.

At the third rescue breath, he began to cough.

“Peter!” You bit back another sob as you watched consciousness slowly return to him, and when he blinked his red eyes up at you, you grabbed his face and pecked his mouth countless times, your shoulders shuddering.

Not too long after, he finally understood what was happening, and he held your shoulders, viewing you up and down. “Oh, thank God you’re okay—”

“No, thank God you’re okay—”

“I was so worried about you.”

“I was worried about you!”

“I tried getting to you as soon as I could—” He pecked you back, his voice raspy. “—but more guys just kept coming at me—”

“A bomb fucking exploded, Peter. I thought you were gone.” You were now weeping. Peter kissed you one last time before he embraced you close, against his wounds’ wishes. As you both tried to calm down, he glanced down at your hands and saw your open knuckles.

His eyes widened. “What happened to you?!” You looked down at your hands, the pain only just setting in once you became aware of your cuts.

“I had to get up here somehow,” You laughed weakly, and pointed at the abandoned pipe a few feet away from you. “I also had that. I’ve got a mean swing you’d be surprised. And a taser.” You took out the taser from your pocket wiggling it. Peter stared at you, his eyes moving back and forth between the taser and the pipe.

“That’s kinda hot.”

“Almost as much as that explosion?”

He had to give you a high five before you finally took him to the hospital.

‘YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL’ KISSES - YOU’RE JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU

A comedian’s podcast played in the background as you knelt beside Peter on your bed, using a brush to spread a skincare product evenly on his face. Peter watched you, adoring eyes inspecting you closely while you caught your lower lip in between your teeth and giggled after you heard a joke which you found too amusing. 

He drew patterns on your knee with his thumb and he squinted at you with curiosity, the corner of his mouth lifting upwards. “Since when are you a fan of this skincare stuff?” 

You squeezed a dab of product onto the brush before you grasped his chin gently, leaning closer to his face. “This coworker of mine, his skin is, like, so damn soft and flawless. I asked him what kind of black magic he used and he gifted me this,” You motioned to the bottle next to you, “and so I thought: ‘Well, might as well try it with my poor boyfriend who fucking sweats into a mask most of the time’. Seriously, I feel so bad for your pores—”

“Hey, my skin isn’t that bad, though. It’s beautiful.” He joked. You smiled at his comment, agreeing with your head.

“You’re right. But it doesn’t mean it can’t be better. You also deserve to sit back and relax after that job interview you had today.”

Peter frowned when he saw your excitement at the mention of the interview, self-doubt sabotaging his attempt at relaxing. “I probably didn’t get the job.” He muttered. 

Your brows knitted together and you pulled the brush away from his face to run your hand through his hair. “Shut up, you totally did. You’re the smartest guy I know.” You winked at him teasingly and he rolled his eyes, although his mouth twitched nonetheless. “Okay, you’re done! Now, look— let’s see my new glorious skin.” You gestured to your dried face, patting it to make sure it was ready.

“If our skin isn’t softer than a baby’s butt, I’m gonna sue.”

You snorted at him before you started scratching the product off your jaw. You hissed as it peeled off, pulling at your skin. You attempted to go on, but your pain tolerance was a joke at the moment. “Fuck, I think this now officially gonna be my face for the rest of my life.” You groaned. Peter gently pulled your hands away from your face.

“Lemme try.”

“No!” You playfully slapped his hands off you. “You’re probably gonna rip my face off.” And so he simply stared as you resumed your torture and voiced your complaints, until you gave up once you’d managed to free half of your face. 

Needless to say, you looked like an absolute clown.

In the midst of your battle against the face mask, Peter himself struggled to keep a serious face as he watched you and the product hardened, limiting the range of his expressions. You heard him laugh strangely, and you glanced up at him only to see him with his mouth half-open, his shoulders bouncing up and down with his chuckles, but he remained with a straight-face. 

You quirked a brow when his laughter increased, his eyes tearing up. “What is wrong with you?” 

“I-I can’t laugh.” He gasped, his face starting to twist. You began to laugh at him then, spreading the hilarity further like a virus. “N-No, don’t laugh! You’ll make laugh and I can’t laugh!” He shook his head frantically, his face mask starting to crack.

“You look like an idiot,” You wheezed, and all he could do was admire you as you cracked up and held your stomach, your beam making his chest swell. 

Your appearance was ridiculous at the moment, yet you mesmerized him nevertheless.

When you noticed he’d stopped laughing, you wiped your eyes, trying to calm yourself down, and saw his small smile. “What?” You questioned him, wondering if perhaps he gasped so much he was now dizzy. His grin grew. He didn’t care about the mask anymore. 

“You’re so beautiful.”

You pretended to gag, although your face heated up and your mouth curved into a smile. “Shut up, you’re so lame, God.”

“But you are!”

“Stop!”

“You’re so beautiful!” He yelled out dramatically to tease you. All of a sudden, he pulled you closer to him and grabbed your face, determined on peppering all the visible skin of your face with kisses. Your giggles were out of control as you tried squirming out of his grasp, but he continued pecking you over, and over, and over again. 

“I’m gonna throw up!” You laughed, and he smooched your cheek. “You’re a loser, I swear.”

He was your loser.

HOLIDAY KISSES - BABY, I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, AND IF YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO, IT WOULD BE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY

It’d been eight months since you started dating, and neither of you had said ‘I love you’ yet.

It’s not that there existed no love. Just like you had said the night you first kissed, the love was mutual, but— again— you preferred to show it differently other than verbally. Or at least other than being straight-forward. It was expressed loud and clear whenever Peter squeezed in time in the morning to make you breakfast, every time you both teased each other or you told him to ‘shut up’, and, of course, in the most simple and obvious way: with every single kiss you shared. But you couldn’t have cried it out louder when you told Peter you’d take care of planning the Christmas Eve celebration at F.E.A.S.T.

You knew everything about Peter. You saved a special place in your brain with every detail about him: his fears, his wishes, his regrets, his shoe size— everything. It’s a perk from knowing him since middle school, and now that you were together, you’d only uncovered the remaining information buried deep within. Therefore, after he got a new job that made him as content as working with Otto Octavius did before everything went downhill, you were aware that if you hadn’t intervened, Peter would have overloaded with stress from trying to juggle every aspect of his life plus dealing with the Christmas Eve party.

However, that meant you transferred the restlessness from him to yourself.

Two months of relentless planning, and at last, it was Christmas Eve. At the back of the room, you watched your friend’s band play a Christmas song from afar, anxiously supervising that everyone enjoyed the night. Suddenly, you felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around your waist from behind and a chin atop your head. 

“Hey,” You heard Peter say and you smiled, leaning back into his embrace. “I haven’t been able to hang out with you at all during the night.” 

“I know, I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure everything was going well.” Your voice, distant and distraught, deepened Peter’s frown. He turned you around and held your face, brushing your cheek with his knuckles. 

“I’m proud of you. You did a great job.”

Although his words made your chest glow, you glanced back at the performance. “Thanks. I was able to add in a few things since I convinced Harry’s dad to donate some money. I guess being his favorite out of you, Mary Jane, and I helped after all, huh?” 

“Well, you can relax now,” He rubbed your shoulders, and you just then realized how tense they were. “The night’s almost over.” Peter reassured you and you sighed, closing your heavy eyes.

“Anything could happen, though.” You forced out a laugh, worry forming a crease in between your eyebrows. “What if something catches on fire? Actually, did you know that people can randomly combust? There’s this one case—”

“Y/N.” For once, he was the one stopping you from rambling. 

“There’s still five songs left of the set.” You pouted at him, trying to convince him to let you off the hook, but he simply stared at you, concerned.

“I talked to Miles, he’s going to take your place while you take a break.”

“I don’t need a break, I just have to watch—”

“Remember the night when we first kissed, and you told me that I needed to stop overworking myself?” He recalled, raising his brows. You pressed your lips together, recognizing how hypocritical you appeared at the moment.

 “This is different, though. I need this to be perfect.” You mumbled. Peter’s brows drew together in confusion. 

“Why?”

“Because of May!” You said, raising your voice a little. The floor now seemed more interesting than Peter or your surroundings. “She deserves it. She really cared about F.E.A.S.T., so I know how important this is for you, too.” You admitted, all of a sudden quiet. 

The corners of his mouth turned downwards. He grabbed your chin and kissed your forehead before his soft gaze interlocked with yours. “Y/N, I bet she’d be so proud right now that she wouldn’t shut up about it, like, ever.” You both laughed, but you smiled weakly, hugging him strongly. “And spending time with you is really important for me, too.” He whispered.

Peter took in a sharp breath and dug his hand into his pocket. “I know it’s Christmas Eve, but I wanted to give you one present today.” 

You tilted your head, your heart falling as remembrance dawned upon you. “But I left my gifts back home.” 

“It’s alright, I-I just…” He took out a tiny box and your eyes widened in panic. “Before you freak out, it’s not… it’s not what you think.” He chuckled nervously and opened it, revealing a silver band ring.

You covered your mouth with your fist while your other hand grasped the ring carefully, inspecting the diamond cut running through the middle. “Pete… it’s so pretty, oh my God. I can’t even imagine how much you spent on it.” You said, guilt etched onto your face.

Peter tried to shrug nonchalantly, but he had to admit the expense stung a bit. “Don’t think about the price tag,” He joked, and then pointed down at the ring. “Look inside it, though.”

You followed his orders and spotted something engraved inside. You lifted it closer to your face to read it properly, squinting your eyes, and once you did, you looked up at Peter’s nervous face with a grin growing on yours. “You… love me?”

It was about damn time.

“Y-You… you like it?” He asked rapidly, his own heart mirroring the speed of his words. 

In the blink of an eye, you met his lips with a deep kiss, unable to stop yourself from smiling into it. “You’re so fucking dramatic, you could’ve just told me but you had to buy a whole ass ring to tell me you loved me.” You nudged him playfully.

“I wanted to be cute!”

“You’re automatically cute, you don’t even have to try.” Peter proved your point as the color of cotton candy painted his cheeks. “But I love it. And I love you, God, I love you so much, Peter, you have no clue.” 

He did. And he loved you back just as much.

[punksarahreese]

hmmm 31. “Wanna, like–I mean, if you’re not busy.. We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?” maybe restart? idk but just think resident Sarah super nervous and fellow Ava like hm sure why not- it can be other au tho but this prompt 31 is too good not to be used at all

Sorry this took me way longer to write than expected ahsjsk

***

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a descending aorta in such a state,” Ava mused, bumping Connor’s shoulder with her own as she reached him at the nurse’s station, “Absolutely shredded.”

“Welcome to Chicago,” Doctor Zanetti replied as she came around the corner, “I’m glad one of us is enjoying gunshot trauma.”

“You’re a trauma surgeon, Sam,” Connor reminded her, “How was the surgery, anyway?”

“Doctor Zanetti is an excellent assist,” the other woman said with a nod to her friend, “I think I have a new favourite trauma surgeon.”

“Coincidentally I may have a new favourite CT surgeon.”

Since Ava had moved to Chicago, she had become rather close with Connor’s trauma surgery colleague. The three of them did butt heads pretty often, too much ego in one room according to Ethan, but they had gotten better in recent months. Ava was glad to have friends in the new city, despite Connor’s insolence on most days and the way Doctor Downey’s favouritism of him still irked her. Work drama aside, Connor was a good surgeon and a decent friend when he wanted to be. Sam helped even things out, not afraid to help Ava knock Connor down a peg. Ava was also 100 percent comfortable with pointing out when both of the trauma surgeons needed to get their heads out of their asses, their god complexes together could be a bit much after all.

Despite the clash of attitudes, the three surgeons had realized they had more in common than originally thought. They all enjoyed sports and Ava was quickly integrated into Connor and Sam’s game nights whenever a sporting event was on. She hadn’t expected to make friends, didn't even want to originally, but it was nice to have people to talk to outside of work. It gave her something to look forward to on the weekends, besides curling up on her couch alone with some whiskey and a cardiology journal. Sam did say she needed to get out more, “become more personable”, and Ava supposed this friendship was a decent first step.

“Rude,” Connor rolled his eyes, “You’re both traitors, actually.”

“Aw, Connor,” Sam came around the counter to fling an arm around his shoulder, “You’re still our favourite pain in the ass.”

Ava laughed at their bickering, leaning across the nurse’s station to put her charting tablet down on the charger. She zoned out a bit, barely hearing as her friends switched to discussing the GSW repair that she and Sam just did. A fairly loud group of medical students were walking through the CT floor, which Ava quickly realized it was her group of loud med students. She sighed, ready to call out and chastise them for being a disturbance, but someone at the back of the group distracted her.

Sarah Reese was walking alone, as she often did, and she seemed nervous. This wasn’t unlike her at all, Ava had told her many times that she needed to work on her confidence, but she assumed that was just the student’s resting state. Still, Sarah had gotten better in the past couple weeks and that showed in how she broke off from the group completely, walking over to the three surgeons.

“Ava, can-,” she stopped herself and Ava couldn’t help but smile as her cheeks flushed when Connor and Sam glanced at her, “Um, Doctor Bekker? Can I... talk to you?”

Ignoring the amused looks she got from her friends out of the corner of her eye, she nodded, “Of course, Miss Reese.”

She led Sarah away from the nurse’s station, across the hall where she knew the other surgeons couldn’t hear them. She was aware of their gaze tracking them though and Sarah seemed to be too, evident in her posture and anxious fidgeting.

“Miss Reese?” Ava couldn’t help but laugh at the incredulous look Sarah gave her, aware that the student hated how that sounded. It had taken her about a week to break Ava from the habit, insisting that her first name was just fine. Ava only agreed to calling her that when it was just the two of them, which was good enough for her at that point. The two had gotten friendlier since their first encounter, somewhere in between Ava’s cheeky remarks and Sarah’s insistence on treating her mentor to coffee often. It was only fair, she argued, because Ava had stayed late with her in the skills lab practicing on more than one occasion. A feat that was reserved only for her, the student knew that, but she prayed no one else noticed out of fear of them getting in trouble for favouritism.

Not that she thought she was Ava’s favourite but, if the shoe fits and all.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bug you when you were with your… friends…”

Ava smiled at her and shook her head, “We just finished a surgery and I promise you didn’t interrupt anything,” she resisted the urge to give Sarah’s hand a reassuring squeeze, “What did you need?”

“Oh, um-” Sarah looked downright adorable with the way her forehead furrowed slightly, “I was wondering if you wanna, like–I mean, if you’re not busy... We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?”

They were both clearly taken aback by the question, not expecting Sarah to make a move like that. Usually she would just shyly bring Ava a cup of black coffee and, if they had time, they might take a walk around the hospital grounds together. It wasn’t ever a date, they had never even discussed that kind of relationship; they were just friends. At least, that’s what Ava had been trying to persuade herself in hopes that she wouldn’t unearth any feelings. Sarah was cute, sure, but she was also a student; her student. Even if she was a legal adult and a fourth year medical student, Ava was still her senior and the last thing she wanted was to get the other woman in trouble with the board.

So she tried to suppress her own hopefulness as she chuckled a bit, trying to ease Sarah’s anxiety, “Why so nervous, Sarah? Lunch would be nice, today?”

“I- um… yeah! If you have time, that is.”

“I can make time for you,” Ava replied smoothly, ignoring the nagging thought in her head saying she needed to write her post-op notes. Maybe if she was lucky Sam would do it for her, or at least not mention it when she didn’t finish them until later that evening. It wasn’t every day Ava got to spend lunch with someone and as much as she liked being with Sam and Connor in the CT lounge on break, Sarah’s hopeful eyes were on the verge of making her melt and she had already made up her mind.

“Really?” Sarah tried to hide her excitement quickly, “Okay, meet you in the cafeteria, then?”

“Give me fifteen minutes, I’ll be there.”

Sarah nodded, glancing back at Ava’s friends before regaining her composure, “Thank you, Doctor Bekker.”

With that the medical student was off down the hallway, her classmates long gone but her attitude had changed immensely. Ava had to laugh a little at how she had a little confidence in her step, wondering why Sarah Reese had such a softening effect on her. This woman was bad for her reputation, in any sense, but Ava couldn’t find it in her to care at that moment.

She tried to evade Sam’s curious eyes when she walked back over but the other surgeon wasn’t having it, “Was that the cute med student you’ve spoken so highly of lately?”

“Yeah, the same one you bullied in the ED a few weeks ago, Zanetti,” Connor reminded her, “Sarah Reese.”

“Shut up, Connor, this isn’t about me.”

Ava had been quietly gathering her white coat and stethoscope from their resting place over a desk chair, hoping she could escape without further questioning. No such luck, though, because now Sam was even more interested.

“Why’s a newbie calling you by your name, Ava?” she raised an eyebrow, “You didn’t even let me call you that until a month ago.”

“She prefers a first name basis,” Ava mumbled, which wasn’t untrue, “Makes her less anxious.”

“Well, she still seemed fairly nervous if you ask me. What did she want?”

“Nothing,” she sighed, “Just questions about our skills lab assessment later this week.”

“Mhm,” Sam clearly didn’t believe her and, judging by the look they shared, Connor didn’t either. The last thing Ava wanted was to be late to lunch because of her friends’ nosiness but she figured they would just press her for answers later at Connor’s place. Of course it was a game night and they would know something was up if she suddenly cancelled, so Ava was silently preparing to accept her fate. Not that there was really anything to admit, not what they expected anyway, but being friends with a med student she was mentoring was bad enough.

“I have to go,” she said as she swung her braid over her shoulder, “I will… see you later.”

Ava was very aware of their amused staring as she walked away, clearly not heading to go do post-ops as she was walking in the complete opposite direction of the ward. She was a bit anxious, for no real reason, but it felt like them knowing was the end of the world. That was dramatic of course and she knew they would probably just tease her about being soft but Ava still kept having a nagging feeling that it would end with the worst case scenario. She tried to ignore that thought, though, and it thankfully left her mind the second she walked into the cafeteria.

Sarah was sitting at a table that was a bit secluded, writing away in her notebook. She had her glasses perched on her nose, which were admittedly very cute on her; not that Ava would ever say that out loud. The student must have heard her approach because she looked up before Ava had reached the table, smiling widely at her in a way that had her forgetting why she was even anxious.

She would just have to tell Sam and Connor to stuff it, she decided; it wasn’t their business anyway. Besides, they always said she needed to make more friends, be more personable and all that. Really, Ava was just doing as she was told and being a good mentor by connecting with her students. At least that’s what she told herself as she greeted Sarah softly, watching patiently as she dug her wallet out so they could go get lunch together.

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (156/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: This story takes place about 1000 years before 66 years after the events of Dragon Ball Z.

[1 December Age 893, Earth.]

Throughout the night, Trunks had been exploring the simulated universe in the popular arcade game Super Dragon Ball Heroes.   To the Earthlings of the 9th Century, it was just a video game about famous warriors and battles from history, but it was in fact a secret project backed by the Time Patrol.   The game world in SDBH was a scale model of the actual universe, based upon the Scroll of Eternity itself.   This provided a unique gaming experience for the unsuspecting civilians, but it also allowed Time Patrollers like Trunks to conduct research and interact with historical events without altering history.   His main objective to was to learn more about his new partner, Luffa.    So far, he had spoken to several Saiyans across time and space, and each answer he found seemed to raise a new question.

At the Hero Lab, where the SDBH game was programmed and maintained, Trunks pondered these questions over takeout food.    Dr. Leggings had cleared off her desk for the plates and napkins.    Her assistant, a girl named Anne, was fussing over the bags of food, determined to make sure everyone’s order was accounted for and properly distributed.   No one asked her to do this, but she was the type who couldn’t relax otherwise.    She still complained about it, but Trunks knew she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Nearby, Beat and Note had rolled their own chairs to face one another, and they each propped their feet up on the edge of the other's seat.    He had recruited them for help on a case when they were younger, and it was strange to see them as teenagers.   He wondered if there was something more than friendship developing between them, or if they themselves were aware of it, but it seemed undignified to ask, so he let it go.    There were more important things to consider anyway.

"The main job's been accomplished, at least," Trunks said after he swallowed a bite of eggroll.    "I know where Camelia's key planets are located, and our historians can probably fill in a more complete map of the galaxy from that era.   Then we can work with Luffa to figure out the correct date and location she came from."

"You don't sound very satisfied with that, Master," Note said as she fished out a piece of shrimp from her takeout box and fed it to Beat.  

"I'm not," Trunks said.   "We thought Luffa might be from a distant civilization, but one in the present day.    Now, it's starting to look like she's from our galaxy, but eleven centuries in the past.   Maybe twelve.   The Rehval that I spoke with was the third Saiyan King with that name.    The one Luffa mentioned may have been his father or grandfather."

"Why is that bad, Trunks?" Beat asked.   He found a piece of pork in his box and passed it from his chopsticks to Note's chopsticks.    "I mean, so what if she’s from twelve centuries in the past?   You guys are the Time Patrol, after all.   If anyone can send her home, you can."

"It's not that we can't send her back," Beat, " Trunks said.   "The problem is that I'm not so sure we should.   From the start, I just assumed Luffa was from the present time, or close to it.   Without realizing it, I've shown Luffa things that will happen in her distant future.    To us, it's the past, but if we send her back with that knowledge, she could change the course of history."

"Would she?"  Note asked.    "I mean, I'm sure she's an honorable person, or Shenron wouldn't have chosen her as your ally, Master.   And now that she's seen the dangers involved with time anomalies, I'm sure she'd never tell anyone what she learned about our era."

"It's not that simple, I'm afraid," said Dr. Leggings.    She was chewing on a bone from her order of spare ribs, and Trunks couldn't help but appreciate a very faint resemblance she had to his father.   Leggings looked a lot more like his mother, particularly with the way she wore her green hair in a ponytail.    She was no warrior, but there were definite hints of Saiyan to her.    He liked this.   In his own timeline, Trunks was an only child, and the last of his father's people.   It was comforting to spend time in places like Hero Town and Toki Toki City, where he had an extended family of sorts, no matter how distant.  

"What do you mean, doctor?" Note asked.

"We've seen how even minor changes in the past can cause major changes in the present," Leggings said.   "The game world makes it easy to see, because we can jump from one time period to another very quickly, and we can reset those changes as easily as refreshing a computer.   It's not just a matter of winning a battle you were supposed to lose, or telling secrets that you aren't supposed to know about.   Luffa might change history without even realizing she's done it."

"She's right," Trunks said.   "When I first went back to the past, I tried to be careful not to make any unwanted changes.   I only wanted to warn Goku about the Cyborgs and give him the medicine for the heart virus.    But somehow he got sick about six months later than I expected.   I still have no idea why that happened.   My guess is that he was training for the Cyborgs, so he must have been in a different place than he was in my timeline, so he wasn't infected under the same circumstances."  

"You think Luffa might do something differently, now that she knows what's going to happen to the Saiyans?" Beat asked.

"She might," Trunks said.   "Luffa hates King Rehval, and now that I've met the guy, I can't say I blame her.   If I understand correctly, there's a direct throughline connecting Rehval's policies with the class system used by my grandfather on Planet Vegeta.   So she might blame Rehval for the downfall of the Saiyan race, and try to take revenge.   For that matter, she knows about the Dragon Balls on Namek.   She might be tempted to use them in the past, to try to make wishes to prevent some of the terrible things she's seen in the future."

"That'd be good, wouldn't it?" Beat asked.    

"Not for you, it wouldn't," Note said in a scolding tone.    "Son Goku is your ancestor, isn't he?   If the history of the Saiyans changes too much, then they might never send Goku to Earth, and you would never be born."

"Oh, right," Beat said.   "Maybe Luffa should stay in Toki Toki City, then."

"And that could have consequences too," Trunks said.    "Luffa might still play a role in history, however small.   Shenron may have only brought her to us because he knew the Time Patrol would eventually put her back.    But there's also the matter of her power level..."

"Power?" Anne asked.   She had already finished her meal and was busily cleaning up the discarded cartons and wrappers.     "Don't tell me that's a problem on top of everything else!"

"Yup, I'm afraid so, Anne," Trunks said.    "Luffa's done well on her missions, but she's nowhere near as powerful as what I had expected.   Now that I know what time period she's from, that makes more sense.   King Rehval told me he was the strongest Saiyan of his era, and he's a lot stronger than Luffa, but he wouldn't stand a chance against the kinds of enemies I've had to fight.   Luffa defeated the Ginyu Force, and Rehval might have handled them more easily but that's about all I could expect from either of them."  

"That's nothing you can't fix, Master!" Note said.   "I'm sure you can train Luffa just as well as you trained us!"

"I appreciate your confidence, Note," Trunks said, "but Luffa's not exactly what I'd call 'teachable'.   Besides, she seems to have improved dramatically on her own.   Even she doesn't understand how she's doing it, but she may catch up before too long.   But if she returns to her own time with all that extra strength, then that could mess up history too.    And if she has to remain with us, then I'm not sure she'll be any good on future missions."

"Why not?" Beat asked.   "She's sure to get stronger."

"I thought so too, but maybe I've been taking that for granted," Trunks said.   "I'm used to dealing with Saiyans descended from Son Goku, or from my own family.    Goku and Vegeta were extraordinary fighters, even among Saiyans, but Luffa could be... Well, there's no gentle way to put this.   She might not have the same potential."

"You're not going to just fire her, are you?" Note asked.    

"Of course not," Trunks said.   "If we can't send her home, I'm sure we can find a place for her in the Time Patrol.   But we can't risk sending her on certain missions.   Towa and Mira are dangerous, and if I'm right, their raids on history's warriors are only going to get bolder.   Luffa could find herself in deep waters with no one to help her.   Shenron may have granted my wish, and maybe she is the best person for the job, but that doesn't mean I can gamble with her life.   I need more information before she goes back into the field."

"I'm sure whatever happens, it'll all work out, Trunks," Beat said.    

"You always say stuff like that," Note groaned.  

"Well, I'm right, aren't I?" Beat shrugged.    "Well, most of the time, anyway."

"This has been fun, but I should probably get moving," Trunks said.    "I need to report my findings to the Time Patrol, and maybe the Supreme Kai of Time has a fresh lead on Towa."

"You have to leave already?" Beat asked.    "But it feels like you just got here!"

"Yeah, it was beginning to feel like the old days," Note said.  

"I've missed you guys too," Trunks said.   He stood up and brushed loose grains of rice from his pants.   "You've grown up a lot while I've been away.    You too, Anne."

"I guess it's kind of childish how I keep calling you, 'Master'," Note said.   "Force of habit, I suppose."

"You're welcome to call me 'Trunks' if you want, Note.    But to be honest, it reminds me of when I was a kid.   I used to call Gohan 'Master', back when he trained me to fight the Cyborgs.   He meant a lot to me.   Hearing you say it... It's a good feeling."    

"I'll keep the Hero Switches ready in case you come back," Leggings said.    "You'll probably need to do some follow-up work to pin down an exact time for Luffa."

"Good call," Trunks said as he slung his sword over his shoulder.   "I'll probably have to bring her with me.   I'll see if I can get her to make some more of that lasagna she made for us the other day."  

"Lasagna?" Beat asked.    But Trunks vanished before he could get an answer.  

*******

[4 March, Age 850.  Toki Toki City.]

Luffa felt ridiculous doing this, but she had no other ideas for how to handle the situation.   She knew the way from her apartment to the Time Nest, and the Time Vault was unlocked and unguarded, but she had no idea what to do on her own.   Trunks had always contacted her whenever she was needed, and he always had the Scroll ready to send her on her next mission.     Without him, it seemed that the Time Vault was a useless building with a tree sticking out of the roof.    And so, her only way forward was the Supreme Kai of Time, who lived in a modest capsule house in the Time Nest, next door to the Time Vault.    Luffa felt awkward simply entering the house, and so she went back to her apartment and baked a cake.   That wouldn't make things less awkward for her, but at least there would be something to eat during her visit.    

"Luffa, Hi!" Chronoa said as she answered the knock on her door.    "Ooh, what's that?  It smells good."

"Uh, I got in a mood, so I made some cake," Luffa said, in a failed attempt to sound nonchalant.   "And I thought I should check and see if you and Trunks had any update on the search."

"Afraid not," Chronoa said.   "But perfect timing on the cake.   I just put on a pot of tea.   Come on in!"

The interior of Chronoa's house was littered with technological gizmos.    There were entire jet engines laying around the Time Nest, and it seemed that this was because those larger objects were the only ones that wouldn't fit inside.    Chronoa tossed several of them off one of the couch cushions and gestured for Luffa to take a seat.    

"I'm glad you finally came over," Chronoa said.   "I was worried that you might be having trouble fitting in with the Time Patrol."

"It's uh... it's not so bad," Luffa said.   "My roommate is kind of weird, but we get along well enough.    I've met a few people here."

"They're all a very special bunch of people," Chronoa said.   "I haven't been able to get to know them all as well as I'd like to, but they've helped me out a lot.   That goes for you too, Luffa."

"Listen, uh... I think I owe you an apology," Luffa said.   "I was in a pretty bad place right before I ended up here, and... well, I might have taken out some of my frustrations on you and your staff."

"You've had to adjust to a lot of changes very quickly, Luffa," Chronoa said.    "And we didn't exactly give you a choice about coming here.    You're entitled to get frustrated with us."

"Thanks, but... I'm a mercenary," Luffa said.   "Well, I used to be.   My parents always taught me how important it was to maintain a professional discipline around the clients.   I don't think I've lived up to my own standards."

"I don't think of the other Time Patrollers as mercenaries, Luffa," Chronoa said.   "We're a team, and we're friends.    At least, I'd like to think of you as a friend."

"Yeah, I guess so," Luffa said.   "I... Can I ask you something?"

"Sure!"

"You're a god, aren't you?   A god of time."

"That's right."

"Don't you already know how all of this turns out?"

Chronoa chuckled as she sipped her tea.  

"Did I say something wrong?" Luffa asked.

"No, I get that a lot, actually," Chronoa said.   "The short answer is: no, I don't know the future.    Not in the way you're thinking of.    I watch over time, and maintain the flow of time.   When it's necessary, I correct problems in that flow.  But I don't make time, or control it."  

"It's just... I'm kind of anxious to get back on the trail of those demons," Luffa said.   "And we've been waiting for them to make their next move, and it occurred to me that it doesn't make much sense that we have to wait.    You could jump ahead to the moment when they've already made their play."

"Well, now that's something I could do," Chronoa said.   I can travel to the future and find out when the next mission happens.   I could even take you with me so you wouldn't have to wait."

"You can?" Luffa said.

"Oh yeah!" Chronoa said.   "I can do a lot of things.   But I shouldn't do it, so I won't."

"Oh."

"It's not an arbitrary rule, either," Chronoa said.   "Most Supreme Kais are only permitted to travel forward through time, and only to observe future events.   They can't interfere, so they have to limit their use of that power.    With me, the problem is that if I skip around too much, I run the risk of upsetting the balance of my own timeline.   Things have to proceed in order.   That's what time is all about."

"I guess that makes sense," Luffa said.  "Honestly, I had a feeling it wouldn't be that easy, or you would have already done it.  But I had to ask."

"You’re right, it’s not that easy.   In fact, it's part of the reason I established the Time Patrol," Chronoa said.   "For millions of years, keeping watch over the flow of time was pretty simple.  I just had to keep Tokitoki fed and watered, give him plenty of enrichment.   But as the universe grows older, it becomes more complex.    Once, there was no Supreme Kai of Time.   We didn't even need one.   But then we did, and now we've reached a point where I need a whole staff to help maintain things.   If I could just jump back and forth in time any way I wanted, maybe I could do the whole thing alone.   But it’s more satisfying this way, with all of you.”

"Why mortals?   Why not get other Kais to do this work?" Luffa asked.  

"Because there aren't enough of us, for one thing," Chronoa said.    "We come from a place called the 'World Core'.    There aren't many Core People, and few of us ever achieve the rank of Kai.    Fewer still ascend to the status of Grand Kai, and even fewer make it to Supreme Kai.   There used to be seven Supreme Kais in this universe, including me.   These days, there's only three."

"Is three enough?" Luffa asked.

"For now, it'll have to be," Chronoa said.   "Besides, I've found that mortals are very dedicated and resourceful.   To say nothing of all the technology they produce..."

She reached for an end table and picked up a machine that looked vaguely like a can opener combined with an alarm clock.    Luffa expected her to use the device, but instead Chronoa simply admired its surfaces.  

"So what's all this stuff for, anyway?" Luffa asked, gesturing to the assortment of similar gadgets that lay in every direction.  

"Nothing in particular," Chronoa said.   "I just find their designs fascinating.   The electronics, the cogwheels, the little blinking lights.   It's helpful for contemplating the nature of time."

"If you say so," Luffa said.    

"Without time, everything would happen all at once," Chronoa explained.  "Birth, death, creation, destruction, none of that would mean anything without the passage of time to separate those moments.   The oven you used to bake this cake.   Without time, there would be no need for it.   Cooking would be meaningless.    You can't preheat an oven or leave a cake inside for seven hours, not when there's no hours."

"S-seven hours?" Luffa asked, but Chronoa paid no mind.    

"Mixing the ingredients would be pointless, too.    Even the pan you put it in, it would be unnecessary, because there could be no cause or effect.    There could be no hunger, because there would be no time for you to become hungry."    

"That's why you like these tools, then?"  Luffa asked.   "Their functions remind you of the flow of time?"

"Yes, that's one way of looking at it," Chronoa said.     She picked up another object that had a handle connected to a transparent dome on wheels.   Inside the dome were several colorful plastic balls, which bounced around inside as Chronoa pushed it along the floor.  

"What does that thing do?" Luffa asked.  

"Oh, this is just a child's toy," Chronoa said.   "Same idea though."

"Okay..."   Luffa decided this was as good a time as any to serve the cake.   It was yellow with chocolate frosting, a recipe which suited her aesthetics, though she had no idea what flavor “yellow” was supposed to be.    She wondered if “yellow” was a kind of fruit, like the oranges used to make the juice she had discovered while shopping.

 "Very impressive," Chronoa said as she took a bite.   "You must have turned the oven up to full power for this."

"Uh, not exactly," Luffa said nervously.   She was beginning to get the impression that Chronoa had no idea how cooking worked.  "Jayncho found a recipe, and they had everything I needed in the Industrial District.   I've been using my downtime to get a handle on Earth cuisine."

"That's great!   You know... when we figure out how to get you home, Luffa, you wouldn't have to stay there.    You could come back for missions."  

"Huh?"

"We have a lot of Patrollers who still live on Earth, in their own native eras.    Mostly ranging from Age 850 to 1050, but there are a few exceptions, like Trunks."

"Well, that's nice and all," Luffa said, "but I don't know that it would work for me..."

"Do you have any family?"

Luffa hesitated before answering.    "No," she said.   "It's just me." To explain further would require her to reveal that she knew she was from the distant past, and she wasn't ready to divulge that just yet.   She wasn't sure she ever would be.   But somehow, sitting in Chronoa's home, sharing snacks with her while they watched the view outside her window, Luffa felt like she could trust her.

She just wouldn't trust her today.  Not yet.   Like Chronoa had said, these things had to happen in the proper order.

"Have you heard of ‘Providence,’ Chronoa?" Luffa asked.

"I know the term, if that's what you mean." she said with her mouth full.  

"My... a friend of mine, she believed in a divine plan.  I just wondered if you, or one of the other Kais, had any connection to that."

"Are you religious yourself, Luffa?"

"Not really.   But I've known people who were.   You wouldn't know a god with nine eyes, by any chance, would you?"

"No, I can't say that I do," Chronoa said.  

"What about Beerus?"

"Oh, well that's different," Chronoa said.   "You see-- Wait, what was that?"

She put her plate on the coffee table and stood up, as though looking for something beyond the walls of her house.    

"What is it?" Luffa asked.  Her own senses picked up nothing out of the ordinary. 

"Something's wrong," Chronoa said.    "We need to go to the Time Vault."

"Is it Towa and Mira?" Luffa asked.  

"I'm not sure," Chronoa said, “but I think it could be."

Luffa punched her right hand with her left as she stood up from the sofa.   At last, it seemed like her waiting was over.

*******

[24 December, Age 762.   Planet Namek.]

The Namekian Dragon Balls were ordinary stones.   Two wishes had been granted, but they petrified upon the death of their creator, Guru.   When Frieza arrived to discover this predicament, he was furious.    So furious, that he wasted no time in destroying the objects of his wrath.    Within minutes, Krillin, Vegeta, and the Namekian child, Dende, were all dead.    Piccolo, newly resurrected by the Dragon Balls, joined the battle, but far too later to do any good.   Gohan was next, and then the only one left was Goku.    

"Who... are you?" Frieza asked, as Goku cradled his dead son in his arms.     "Never mind.   I don't need to know."

Goku followed the others soon after. 

*******

[4 March, Age 850.    Toki Toki City.]

"It has to be Towa," Chronoa said.   She had the Scroll of Eternity unfurled on the great octagonal table in the Time Vault.    Luffa watched over her shoulder, while Tokitoki flapped his wings and hooted overhead.    

"This looks like the same day as the Ginyu Force battle I was just in," Luffa said. 

"It is," Chronoa said.  "This new temporal change takes place thirty-seven minutes after you left.    Towa must have decided it was the last place we would expect her to strike.   I didn't think she was prepared to try her energy stealing techniques on someone as powerful as Frieza."

Luffa had never actually seen Frieza before.    Until now, she had only heard about him.   During her previous mission, the Ginyu Force and Vegeta had spoken of him as being present on Namek, but occupied elsewhere.   Before that, she had heard about Frieza's conquest and destruction of the Saiyan homeworld from the Toki Toki City historian, Dewar.    Dewar had said that Frieza was a clansman of his own species, and now that Luffa could see Frieza in the mystical images generated by the Scroll, she could see the resemblance.   Mostly, Frieza had purple colorations wherever Dewar had blue, and Frieza didn't bother wearing clothes.   He was a white-skinned, muscular humanoid with no hair and three-toed feet.    A long, thick tail waved behind him.  The purple aura from Towa's magic seemed to suit his cruel, indifferent expression.  

"Looks like it's the same story as before," Luffa said.    "Frieza got a power boost and he overwhelmed these guys too quickly, so I'll have to step in and balance the scales."

"It's not that simple," Chronoa warned.   "Frieza is far more powerful than anyone you've faced so far."

"He can't swap bodies like Captain Ginyu, can he?" Luffa asked.    

"No, but--"

"Well then, this should be a lot more straightforward," Luffa said,  She held up her hands and began cracking her knuckles.  

"Wait," Chronoa said.   "Luffa, I really think we should hold off on this until Trunks gets back."

"What for?" Luffa asked.   "I'm the one who has to go on these missions, and I'm ready right now.   With any luck, those miserable demons will still be there, and I can pick up where I left off."

"You don't know what you're dealing with, Luffa," Chronoa warned.  "Every time you've come back from these missions, you've been badly hurt.    Fighting Frieza is one thing.   If he hurts you, you can be automatically recalled to the Time Nest before you die.   But if Towa decides to step in, that might not work.   She's already threatened you, and there's a lot we don't know about her temporal manipulation abilities."

"Then it's time we found out," Luffa insisted.   "I don't know what kind of Saiyans you have working for you in the Time Patrol, but I'm the kind that doesn't back down from a challenge.    I think your pet Dragon noticed that, and maybe that's why he brought me here to help you out."

"There's more at stake here than whatever chip you have on your shoulder, Luffa," Chronoa said.  "I can tell you're out to prove something.   I don't know what, but I won't risk your life like this."

"And what happens if they try to alter history somewhere else while we're waiting around?" Luffa asked.   "We need to address this sooner rather than later.   And no matter what we do, it's going to be me who ends up going.   You know I'm right, Supreme Kai of Time.    I wouldn't be here if I weren't."  

Chronoa regarded her for a moment, then looked back at the Scroll.    "All right, we'll try it your way," she said.   "But I'll be watching, and at the first sign of trouble, I'm pulling you out of there."

"Thanks," Luffa said.   "I was thinking about making a grab for the Scroll, but I didn’t want to upset you.   I've never fought a god before, and I didn't want to make things awkward between us.”

"Uh... sure.   Well, promise me that you’ll keep that in mind if I have to bring you back from the mission early," Chronoa said.   "If you can't handle Frieza, then you definitely don't need to be picking fights with me."

Luffa smiled as she picked up the Scroll, and then she was gone.

NEXT: 「F」

[trombonesinspace]

Typhoid Mary: feminist femme fatale?

“Season 4 was going to be Typhoid Mary, Alice Eve [who played the role in Iron Fist], we were doing a kind of...I had a much different version of her than what Raven [Metzner] had done in Iron Fist. I was kind of rebooting what she was going to be like, and we were going to do a, you know, kind of a warped love story/murder mystery kind of femme fatale, but kind of a modern-day, feminist version of it, as opposed to kind of the older, sexist kind of femme fatale archetype.”

-Erik Oleson, in conversation with Steven DeKnight, SaveDaredevilCon 

As I said yesterday, I have some thoughts about this! If you want some opinions nobody asked for, about a storyline that may never come to pass, you’ve come to the right place! Let’s dive in.

A femme fatale is a character type with quite a history, that can take various forms. She is always an attractive woman who brings ruin to the man who gets involved with her. But sometimes she is deliberately manipulative, while sometimes she is more a victim of circumstances. She may be evil, or she may be sympathetic/tragic. But whatever her moral alignment, she has two defining traits: sexual allure, and some form of negative consequences for the hero as a result of his involvement with her.

A woman who schemes against the hero, and succeeds in harming him, but without using feminine wiles? Not a femme fatale. The Marvel TV universe has featured several examples on different shows: Madame Gao, Mariah Dillard, Alexandra. And, ironically, the version of Typhoid Mary who appeared in Iron Fist. (We’ll get there.)

A sexy woman who tries to manipulate/damage the hero, but fails? Also not a femme fatale. I wish I could give some examples, but sadly I can’t think of any, in dramas at least. Our current media culture loves a sexy manipulator, no writer ever seems to introduce one into a dramatic story without making her succeed in her schemes, to some extent at least.

Which is unfortunate, from my perspective, because I loathe sexy manipulators. It’s a character type I really dislike, whenever I encounter her. As soon as she shows up, I know the hero is going to fall for her bullshit like a chump, and I’m going to end up respecting him less as a result. I could try to unpack my feelings about this a bit more, but that would probably make a post all on its own, so for now I’ll leave it at that.

This doesn’t mean I hate all femmes fatales—it really depends on her motivation and her behavior. If she isn’t trying to harm the hero, and it happens due to circumstances, then I might like the character, but the story becomes a tragedy. Which is not necessarily bad. Just, you know. Tragic.

Anyway! Let’s talk about Typhoid Mary.

Mary Walker is a woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personalities), and high-level combat skills. In the comics, she is also a mutant with mental powers. She appeared in the Daredevil comics starting in 1988.

In this original version, her personality fragmented due to childhood abuse, leading her to vow as an adult that no man would ever hurt her again. Her personalities are: Mary, who is timid and gentle; Typhoid, who is adventurous, lusty, and violent; and Bloody Mary, who is even more violent, sadistic, and hates all men.

Mary becomes romantically involved with Matt Murdock, who is cheating on his girlfriend, Karen Page, to be with her. At the same time, Typhoid is trying to ruin him, having been hired to do so by the Kingpin. Matt can’t tell they’re the same woman, because when she switches personalities all her bio signs change (voice, scent, heartbeat, etc) so much that he can’t recognize her. (Uh, sure.) She may also be using some of her mutant powers to confuse his senses. I haven’t read the comics, I’m relying here on what I could learn from the internet.

Eventually Typhoid drops him off a bridge, but then Mary finds him and gets him to a hospital, saving him. Karen is with him when he wakes up, but he breaks her heart by calling out for Mary.

This storyline...does not thrill me. As I said, I haven’t read it, but comics writing about mental illness is generally neither nuanced nor accurate, and comics writing about women circa 1988 is also not great, by today’s standards. And comics Matt’s disastrous love life is legendary—cheating on your girlfriend is bad, Matt! Don’t do it! 

I have, however, watched season 2 of Iron Fist, where we get a different version. This Mary Walker is a US army veteran, special ops, who was captured by the Sokovian military. Her personality fragmented due to the brutal abuse she received from her captors for nearly two years, until she finally escaped. She got a medical discharge from the army after being diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Her personalities are: Mary, who is innocent and naive; and Walker, who is a ruthless, coolly efficient mercenary-for-hire. The existence of a third, ultraviolent personality, previously unknown to either Mary or Walker, is revealed near the end of the season. 

Mary meets and befriends Danny Rand, while Walker is hired by his enemies to stalk him, and eventually capture him so they can steal his Iron Fist powers from him. She later changes sides, getting hired to bring down Davos, the season’s main villain, by Joy Meachum, his former ally.

There are clear parallels to the Daredevil comics storyline, albeit in less extreme form—Mary befriends the hero, but isn’t romantically involved with him; her more violent personality works against him and fights him, but doesn’t try to destroy him. 

I enjoyed this version of the character more than I expected to, for a couple of reasons. For one, she is never the out of control, “crazy” stereotype of a person with mental illness. Both Mary and Walker are more-or-less functional adults, managing to live a strange hybrid life, aware of each other’s existence even though they don’t share memories.

But what I especially like is that she isn’t sexualized, at all. It’s incredibly rare, in my experience, to see a young, female antagonist opposing a male hero, and not have her be sexy. Older women are exempt from this obligation (see my list of examples above), but the young ones always vamp it up, and I am so tired of it. I am not opposed to sexy women, but I am very opposed to the requirement that all women must be sexy. (Unless they’re old.) Male antagonists aren’t required to be alluring, so why should women be? (Yes, I know why. I just don’t like it.)

There’s also a lot of potential YIKES in sexualizing a woman with a severe mental illness, which was caused by (among other things) repeated sexual violence. Could it be done in a way that isn’t super problematic? It’s possible, sure. Am I assuming that most television writers would give the subject the respect it deserves? NOPE! 

I’m really glad they chose to just not go there. Walker is extremely good at what she does, takes no shit from anyone, and (almost) never gets riled up. After everything she’s been through, nothing in her present life has the power to faze her, and none of the men around her have the power to intimidate her. It’s pretty great!

She isn’t the least bit coy or seductive, and, equally refreshing, none of the men try to sexualize her or hit on her. Everyone Walker talks to knows she is a highly skilled professional, and they treat her accordingly. Or, when someone does disrespect her, it’s never gendered as far as I can remember, and it stops as soon as she calmly states what she’s going to do to him if it doesn’t.

As for Mary, although she has a more feminine appearance than Walker (hair down and loose, makeup), she is also not sexualized. Her friendship with Danny, who is in an established relationship with Colleen Wing, is platonic, and no one else tries to hit on her that I remember.

So this is the version of Typhoid Mary that Erik Oleson was going to reboot, into a femme fatale. Only, you know. A feminist one. 

I...have some questions. What does that even mean? What does feminism mean to Erik Oleson? Let’s be real, the idea of a woman becoming an ultraviolent, sadistic man-hater as a result of sexual trauma would have been seen as feminist in some circles, back in 1988 when that version was written. So what, exactly, did he have in mind?

As I said before, sexual allure is a necessary component of a femme fatale. So she was definitely gonna be sexy. And you know now how I feel about sexy female antagonists. As for the “warped love story” part...Matt wouldn’t be cheating on Karen, since they aren’t together (please, for the love of mercy, don’t have them get together right before he meets Mary, we did that once and I do NOT want to see it again), but I am still not a fan of Matt/Mary as a couple.

Her Dissociative Identity Disorder raises some serious issues around consent, and even if the show chose to ignore that, there’s still the issue of past sexual trauma. Unless Oleson’s reworking of the character was going to include a completely different back story, a Matt/Mary relationship would mean Matt unknowingly having sex with a woman who has suffered brutal sexual abuse in her past. Not to mention, having sex with her that only one part of her personality actually wants.

Is it possible for someone with Mary’s past trauma and present mental illness to have a positive sexual relationship? In reality, of course! In the hands of writers with only a layman’s knowledge of psychology, on a show that loves to torment its hero, I wouldn’t bet on it. How do you suppose our poster boy for Catholic guilt would react when he inevitably finds out the truth?

Plus, aside from any issues around Mary herself, Matt starting a relationship with anyone other than the handful of people who already know his secret identity, means a whole new round of Matt lying to someone he cares about. Does anyone really want to see that? I know I don’t. Sure, maybe he’d tell her eventually, but how long would they have to date before he decided to trust her with the truth?

I’m not opposed to the Mary Walker from Iron Fist appearing in Daredevil, if the writers could come up with a new story for her (i.e, don’t just have her repeat all the same plot beats with Matt that she already did with Danny). But bringing her in as a femme fatale really doesn’t sit well with me. We’ve already seen Matt in an ultimately destructive relationship with a sexy, violent, morally grey woman. I really don’t want to watch Round 2: now with multiple personalities!

Of course, maybe we never will. The quote at the beginning of this post is from just a couple of weeks ago (July 25 2020), so Erik Oleson still seems to think it’s a fine idea. But obviously we don’t know yet if there will ever be a season 4, or who the show runner will be if there is. He may never get to make the story he was planning.

So yes, I realize I’m merely speculating about a completely theoretical story that may never happen. But I wanted to write this anyway. I had a strong “ugh, no” reaction to the idea of a feminist femme fatale Typhoid Mary, and I wanted to go deeper and pick apart my reasons for not liking the idea.

To the three of you who have read this all the way through to the end (this post is nearly 2000 words, yikes), thank you for indulging me! These are, as always, my own opinions, and YMMV. 

[empressmode]

Sun Sign: symbolizes your personal identity. mine shows as a sagittarius i’m an extrovert (odd, always thought i was introverted) and enthusiastic along with a great sense of humor (of course). sagittarius are one of the biggest travelers of all the signs as well as very curious. we are very blunt and quick when we speak. we also have no problem attracting people as we are confident and love to socialize.

Moon Sign: symbolizes your emotions. my moon being in pisces shows i’m very friendly and hospitable, my mood is generally contagious. i desire romance and some sort of magic in a relationship (without a doubt so me). i also value an emotionally stable relationship (can i get a amen) as well as a safe home. i can see and understand others vulnerabilities because i too feel similarly. i like to deal with other people’s dilemmas to distract me from my own.

1st House (Rising): symbolizes basic personality traits such as appearance, temperament, behavior, relationship to life, and first impressions. mine being in sagittarius shows i’m full of passion (always say i’m not dramatic just passionate lol) and i need to use that energy as well as my enthusiasm. i can be refreshing and motivating. i always chase after what i want.

2nd House: symbolizes the house of value. mine being in capricorn shows when building my resources and developing my talents i am generally patient with a long term goal in mind.

3rd House: symbolizes communication. mine being in aquarius shows i have a natural inclination to have sudden revelations and original insights. i generally like to connect with people but prefer to move about those connections on my own terms.

4th House: symbolizes the inner world. with mine being in pisces this shows my home is my safe haven as i need a place to retreat, refresh and escape. i don’t like being tied down and need freedom to come and go as i please.

5th House: symbolizes pleasure. mine being in aries shows i’m often selfish in dating and relationships (big oofs in chat). i’m always on a quest for sexual pleasure (ouuu spicy!). i’m assertive and passionate in love. i have an influential life force and the desire to achieve happiness as well as test my courage.

6th House: symbolizes health. with mine being in taurus this shows i’m a firm believer in the value of work-life balance. i like to keep my work away from my personal life. i’m well aware my health is best preserved when i give myself sufficient leisure and relaxation time.

7th House: symbolizes partnerships. mine being in gemini shows i need a creative partner who shares my wide variety of interests. good mental compatibility is vital to me. since i’m inclined to be casual in relationships it’s better if mg partner is not super affectionate and demanding. the partner should be vibrant and full of ideas, but busy enough to give me the space i need.

8th House: symbolizes reincarnation or the fulfillment of all our needs. mine being in cancer shows my hidden strength lies in having very strong connections with people.

9th House: symbolizes philosophy. mine being in leo shows long distance travels are my preferred form of relaxation. i am often caught up in abstract thought.

10th House: symbolizes social status. mine being in virgo shows i will most likely be bored in a profession that requires the exchange of ideas and complexity of details.

11th House: symbolizes friendships. mine being in libra shows i’m inclined to be “head” of the group since i am accepting of those with different interests. i can identify with various types of people. however i have a hard time making decisions and setting goals.

12th House: symbolizes self-undoing, such as subconsciousness, sentiments, emotions and mysteries. mine being in scorpio shows i am inclined to proclaim views on these subjects that are very conventional. i’m interested in these subjects but tend to keep my views to myself. however, i can change and affect many people by saying and seeming to do little in a simple way. yet the power of my thoughts can be intense.

Element (Fire): the fire element is an embodiment of energy. me being under this influence shows i am fiery and charged by the suns energy. i have a life task to care for my emotional side and typically require special training on how to be compassionate towards others. i have to pay close attention to my emotional needs to live a fulfilling life.

Polarity: sagittarius is a yang or positive energy which is also known as “masculine” energy.

Modality: expresses changeability and flexibility as the seasons shift. it is a feature of natural change. people with a mutable quality have a knack for sensing the future, are spontaneous and movement oriented. they normally have a gift of prophecy, prediction and foretelling.

[comingofagefilm]

Kindness | Wong Yukhei/Lucas

Synopsis: this one’s about being friends with a boy whose heart is bigger than his appetite (sometimes)

Genre(s): angst, coming-of-age, friendship, highschool au, college au

Warnings: uhh some minor swearing, brief mention of counselling + a cheesy ending.

♡ Author’s Notes: honestly, this is an apology letter to my friend back in 2018. I wrote this during that time of conflict and am only publishing it a year later oop

PRESENT

     You’re watching Lucas with such fondness in your eyes; there is also amusement but that’s because everything is amusing when it comes to Lucas. The boy is loud and big in everything he does and right now his big mouth has moved from the pantry to inhaling the contents of your fridge.

“Hey, don’t you have a date tonight?” You ask Lucas, watching as he rips open a box of oreos.

Lucas nods his head vehemently in response, grinning all the while he stuffs an oreo into his mouth.

“Then why are you eating now?” You deadpan.

“I don’t know man,” Lucas mumbles in between bites. “You know I get hungry when I’m nervous.”

It’s true, you snort. Lucas was all words and false bravado but when it came to actually following through with his flirtations, he became more or less a nervous wreck.

“Well it is always fun to see you nervous around cute girls”. You make your way to your couch pretending like you didn’t see Lucas pout at you before shoving another two oreos into his mouth.

“Ooh, can I eat this ice-cream?” Lucas asks even though he’s already opening the lid of the ice-cream tub.

“Yeah but don’t eat all of it again or else my sister’s going to kick my ass,” you mutter with some distaste. Your warning is met with obnoxious laughter.

“Your sister loves me,” he proclaims and you can’t help but agree. Your little sister absolutely adores Lucas as much as you do but you don’t say anything. Instead, you peer over your shoulder at Lucas, who you see has taken the liberty of using a soup ladle as a spoon, and smirk at his childishness.

“Wow, you’re such an idiot,” you say in a tone laced with nothing but endearment.

“Oh come on man, you love me!” Lucas grins. As he leaps over the couch, his foot nearly knocks you square in the jaw.

“Ugh,” you groan, shoving his foot out of the way, “how is it summer already?”

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” he replies, grinning widely.

You snort; as if having to attend compulsory night classes in your final week was considered fun.

“Take that back,” you say half-heartedly. Lucas just giggles at your demise. He’s already finished with his classes and only has one exam to prepare for while you‘re suffering through classes and assignments that you probably shouldn’t have put off until now.

“Why was everything much easier back when we were kids?” You ask, a bit dramatically.

Lucas gulps down a spoonful of ice-cream and wags his soup ladle around in what you assumed was disagreement. You raise an eyebrow at him. “Care to elaborate?”

Lucas looks at you with a playful gleam in his eye that makes you sit up straighter.

“Well, do you remember when it took you until halfway through fourth grade to invite me to play with you?”

You glare at him dead in the eye, fully aware of this conversation’s direction, and mutter your next few words with a little bit more bitterness than intended.

“Oh please, you were the one with that group of kids, remember? The ones who hated my group for ‘taking you away from them’ — like they weren’t the ones who brought this upon themselves for talking shit behind your back.” You pause to exhale loudly through your nose and somewhat recollect yourself. Thinking about the past just made you automatically defensive for some reason (oh you knew the reasons), even though it had been over a decade since the incident happened.

“You have to admit though, we had the absolute cliché kind of mean kids at our school.”

Lucas’ face suddenly changes into a sombre expression and you wonder if you went too far by bringing up the past.

“Yeah, elementary school was a nightmare,” he says grimly as he stares off into the distance.

Then he’s turning his head back towards you with a goofy smile and you consider throwing a cushion at him when he breaks into his comically high-pitched, wheezy laughter.

*

It was easier to make friends back in elementary school. But for Lucas, well, it was super easy to the point where it was laughable.

Lucas was always big in everything he did and so with his big heart and even bigger personality, it was nearly close to impossible for anyone not to find him endearing. Not to say that you weren’t friendly; you were just very selective of who you wanted to share your precious recesses and lunchtimes with. Unfortunately, this also meant that you sometimes ignored other children who were interested in playing with you. And Lucas was right; it wasn’t until halfway through the year when you and your friends agreed that he should join your group effective-immediately.

     It just so happened that you were quite the observant student. Although teachers would say that your class participation and grades were average, you were always complimented on your keen observation skills.

“Always looks out for others” was a sentence you often heard throughout your childhood years and it didn’t mean much to you then because that’s what you thought everybody else did. That is, until you were proven wrong by a group of gossipy 10-year-olds.

     A few weeks back, you overheard these boys talking about Lucas and didn’t like what they were saying about him. Afterwards, you found out that these gossipy 10-year-olds turned out to be Lucas’ so-called friends and so, being the one to “always looks out for others”, as your teachers would say, you took matters into your own hands. His family life was, after all, his own personal business. You weren’t just about to let these kids believe that they were better than Lucas and therefore could say mean things about him just because they had two parents and he no longer did.

     It was during English class when one of the notes you passed to your friends slid down to the very end of your row where Lucas sat. “Do you want to play with us at lunch?” The note had read in half-cursive, half-print handwriting. Lucas had turned to look at your group, who were all leaning over their desks and eagerly awaiting his answer, and then back at the note. He gave a quick thumbs up as he mouthed a “hell yeah!” and with that simple exchange, the beautiful friendship between you two had begun.

*

When Lucas’ voice first cracked, you could hardly hold in your laughter. It happened when you were on the way to school. Lucas had offered you oreos when you told him that you only had a banana for breakfast and you scoffed at him before pointing out that oreos were not a staple breakfast food.

“Don’t worry man” became one of Lucas’ favourite things to say and when he said it to you this time around, his voice cracked. You had stopped in your tracks, not believing what you had just heard, and burst into laughter. Lucas had started whining for you to stop but his voice cracked again, and you laughed even harder. He tried crossing his arms to make himself look sterner, but the corners of his lips had already begun quirking upwards and next thing you knew you were both laughing wildly on the footpath.

     During your time in high school, Lucas was considered odd but charming by majority of the school, staff included. Sometimes his ability to be amused or distracted by the smallest things was questionable and it had gained him the nickname ‘One Brain Cell’ from Jungwoo two year-levels ahead. Of course, Lucas had embraced this nickname, like many other things in his life, with bright eyes and an unshakeable grin.

     Voice-cracking aside, Lucas did undergo more obvious physical changes. You fully noticed this over the summer before your last year of high school when he surpassed many other boys in both height and build. You found it odd, but unsurprising, that Lucas had garnered a reputation for himself as a ‘playboy’. The boy did love attention and by now you were well acquainted with his flirtatious behaviour. But when this school year came around, the number of students who observed his every move had surprised even you.

There were rumours that followed you into every class; some of which, left you wondering why people had so much free time. It felt like you were kids again but instead of the kids gossiping about Lucas’ recently divorced parents, these students were spreading rumours that were exaggerated to the point of ridiculousness and convincing themselves that at least SOME part of it was true.

It didn’t occur to you that Lucas didn’t need protecting.

Lucas, being — well, Lucas, just wanted to breeze through high school without worrying about what other people thought he did during his spare time. To you, his patience was admirable; his obliviousness, not so much.

     Jungwoo, who always seemed to witness Lucas’ most eccentric moments, once asked you if Lucas really was a player; if he really did sleep with those college girls and broke the hearts of the younger ones.

Look at him, you said and gestured towards Lucas. Lucas was busy giggling behind a slightly terrified Mark, waiting to scare underclassman, Chenle, from behind a classroom door. He just wants to be loved, you told Jungwoo. Jungwoo rolled his eyes at you but his lips quirked into a small, knowing smile.

Before you knew it, the younger boy let out a high-pitched screech that you swear you could still hear ringing in your ears even now.

     Although you hate to admit it, Lucas tended to be right about a lot of things while you were growing up. So when he told you that you were too nice for your own good, you shoved your books into your locker way harder than necessary.

“Is this about those boys I reported? Because they had it coming.” You scoffed while Lucas’ hand went to the back of his neck.

He rubbed the spot anxiously. “It wasn’t a big deal,” Lucas had said. At this, you gritted your teeth and made a few hand movements that you hoped conveyed some sort of message that said no, it wasn’t right at all. Lucas shrugged as if he had mentally heard your message.

“You’re always looking out for others but sometimes I’m afraid that you’re not looking after yourself,” he added quietly. This gave you pause. Lucas was hardly ever quiet, nor was he the type to openly admit that he was afraid of anything. If he was afraid, he would’ve masked it with humour or even something slightly self-deprecating. This was different and your face softened when you met his slightly worried eyes.

“I’ll be fine,” you reassured him. But when you went home that night, you couldn’t fall asleep as Lucas’ words replayed in your head.

Maybe you were too nice for your own good.

You lifted the blanket over your head and curled into yourself all the while the words “nice”, “gentle” and “kind” morphed into something darker in your mind, something more self-sacrificial. Did it become an obligation for you to be compassionate towards others? Or was it always that way? You felt like a fraud and that everything you had done for other people in the past was to soothe your own twisted ego.

The pain of having these thoughts taking over your mind and your body made you want to cry so badly. At this point, you knew that you needed an explanation or validation of some sort from somebody that you trusted. And you loathed yourself for it.

It took whatever little energy you had left to push the blanket down enough for you to reach out to your phone and message Lucas. None of your friends really had the best sleeping patterns and this was one of those times you were glad that Lucas was awake at this ungodly time.

[2:18AM] dude it’s 2am and i’m having an identity crisis… did you really mean what you said about me being a people-pleaser?

You had messaged Lucas in a private chat where he replied a few minutes later.

[2:18AM] Lucas: uhh ye. u love people and people love u. u have a good heart man. y r u up?

But?

Lucas: But I can look after myself sometimes ya know?

I know… I just really hate it when people are assholes for no reason. Like, why do they have to be like that? And to someone they don’t even know as well.

Lucas: Hahaha. People can be assholes sometimes but life goes on, even after high school.

I know.

Lucas: Do you??

You stared at your phone incredulously. There he was again, implying that you were too worried about the opinions of others.

Hey just because I like to see the good in people doesn’t mean that I am THAT naïve. Like I told you before, those guys deserved what they got. I was saving you a semester of being the main topic of their gossipy asses.

Lucas: Uhh

Okay that came out worse than I expected. I can see that now. I’m sorry. Fuck. What’s wrong with me!?

Lucas: No one’s telling you to let go of your bubbly personality.

I was never bubbly, you take that back.

Lucas: You know what I mean. Anyway, it’s not bad that you believe that there’s still good in the world. It’s just – well it’s just a part of who you are man.

Can I tell you something? It’s going to be really childish and maybe it is naïve of me to still be thinking this way but I think I’m going to type it out anyway because I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t haha.

Lucas: Dude of course. Go ahead.

Okay so I sort of had an epiphany before. First, I thought about all those losers that have made your life harder. Now I know you say that it’s okay and that it doesn’t affect you but I just want you to know that it affects me a lot. And I know that you’re probably sick of me trying to protect you all the time too… I don’t know why I always do it but I feel like I’m just dumping whatever issues I have onto you and that’s definitely not fair. Lucas, honestly, you always seem to look like nothing affects you from the outside. I know it does though. But it just messes me up that I get defensive all the fucking time. I hate how not everyone is kind, that not everyone has other people’s best interests at heart. I hate how the actions between other people affect me so much even though it’s not about me. But then I thought about it for longer and realised that, well, all these thoughts are a part of growing up right? Soon I’ll learn that I can’t help everyone and that not everything is about me. But it’s just so hard sometimes. I hope this make some sense…

It’s hard for you to express your concerns. Lucas knew this, didn’t comment on it then, and only read patiently as you continued to open up.

Your hands were shaking as you were about to type out the next few words for the very first time.

Anyways what I’m trying to say is that I think I need to go to the school counsellor or something because I’m literally about to explode.

You shut your eyes tightly in fear of what response you would get. But when you opened them again, Lucas had sent you a small paragraph of his own.

Lucas: Hey, I feel so stupid for not knowing that you probably felt that way. I’m sorry but you know how spacey I am sometimes. But it’s not your fault. I guess I’m just not used to accepting or even responding to people’s concerns towards me, even when they mean well. But uhh… my therapist is helping me with that. Yeah I have one of those. If you want, I can help you call the place that I go to IF you’re not comfortable with going to the school one? And like you said, you’re always looking out for me and I really do appreciate it but just know that I always have your back too.  

There was a brief silence, tersely broken by Lucas.

Lucas: Uhh, where’d you go? Hello? So this is what happens when I express myself.  

You had to pause and swipe away at your eyes before you could type back.

Wait a second, I’m crying.

Lucas: Oh… :(

Sorry that I suggested that you were a robot with no feelings.

Lucas: Look, I love you and I trust you. I knew that you were going to be there for me back then when I needed someone to talk to but I also knew, and my dad knew, that I also needed professional help. Back then I was even more closed up than I am now.

Back then? How long have you been going?

Lucas: Since we first became friends.

Oh crap. Alright, I need you to knock me out when I start acting like a therapist instead of your friend okay?

Lucas: Don’t worry, you’re not my therapist. My therapist is actually double your age and a lot taller. In fact she’s almost as tall as me and I haven’t told her yet, even though I’m meant to tell her everything, but her tallness makes me feel like I’m losing my individuality because I’m so used to always being the tallest person in the room… like always.

I’m serious, Lucas. I don’t ever want to be your therapist. :(

Lucas: It’s like… without my height… who am I?

It was just like Lucas to make any situation more funnier than it actually was and you tried your best not to grin at your phone with tears streaming down your face.

Shut up I’m serious.

Lucas: So you don’t think I should wear high-heels to assert my dominance?

Lucas.

Lucas: Okay!! HAHAHA. Seriously though, I’m happy that you can trust me more. We’re practically young adults now and we can have these conversations because we’re all in this together man!!

Says the one who eats Oreos for breakfast.

Lucas: And that is my choice as a young adult.

You know you’re actually really smart, Lucas. Like that thing we learned in Psych – emotionally intelligent? Anyway, I’m glad we had this convo.  

Lucas: Thanks boo. Seems like I suddenly have the energy to cram for tomorrow’s test. OMG… is this the power of friendship?

Good luck dumbass. 

 *

     There was this one incident that happened not too long ago that tested Lucas’ seemingly endless amount of energy. Lucas had entered the library hoping to study with you but as soon as you saw his heavy eyebags and slumped shoulders, you told him to go to sleep to which he responded by immediately passing out on the thick textbook in front of him. Luckily, it didn’t disturb anyone else, besides you of course. 

     Nowadays, you keep a close eye on each other. Lucas is still the literal big mouth who clears your fridge and/or pantry every time he comes over to your house but some things are different. Now you’re using your own money instead of the money your parents would give you specifically for grocery shopping, even though you always got just breakfast food and snacks. When you got your part-time job, you started stocking up on actual food but it was hard to find the time to prepare meals in between your schedules. Usually, you didn’t like to skip meals so you usually snacked on something in between your breaks but recently you haven’t found the time to do even that.  

     So now you have evening classes and Lucas has a date with a cute girl he met through Mark. Lucas is eating the rest of your snacks and wondering why you’re rejecting his offer of your food. And when you let it slip that you haven’t eaten anything since 7AM, Lucas’ jaw drops in the most dramatic way that it does and you pray to god he doesn’t yell at you. But he does, in the loudest and most loving way he knows. 

“WHAT IF YOUR BLOOD SUGAR GOES DOWN AND YOU FAINT BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAD HALF A BAO?” Lucas drags his fingers down his face in horror at the prospect of not being able to finish food and more importantly, of you not being able to finish your food. 

You close the door behind you before turning around and fixing him a big smile. Lucas just continues to stare at you in horror and confusion.

“This isn’t something to be happy about man!!”

The fondness in your eyes return and you reach forward to ruffle his hair.

“Oh my god, don’t worry I’ll eat something else on the way to class.” You grin widely before adding in your best impersonation of him: “Don’t worry man”. Lucas sighs exasperatedly but can’t help but grin back at you.

“You better show me video proof or else you’re dead.”

“Jokes on you, I’m already dead inside.”

Now it’s Lucas’ turn to ruffle your hair and instead of feigning irritation, the gesture makes your heart swell up with tenderness; for you loved your big-hearted, big-mouthed, big-stomached friend.

[artificialqueens]

Beyond My Wildest Dreams Ch. 4 (Nina West/OC) - multifandomgeek

Nina is known for being kind. The Miss Congeniality of all Miss Congenialities, people have been saying. Not that she would ever acknowledge that and discredit the title of the queens that came before her and are just as amazing and kind and important as her, if not more. But she loves it, and sometimes has to check in to make sure she’s not getting a little cocky about it.

Of course, she can be shady too, if she’s not too worried about the public eye. Especially a few drinks in and with a couple of minutes to think about it. She can also be mean and resentful when she’s hurt like any other human being on this planet. But that’s part of her as a person, not her as a brand, and people don’t see it that often. Which is good, if a little scary. After all, even if she’s loud and clear about not being perfect, sometimes it seems like people see her that way, and that’s just too much pressure to keep up with.

But that’s a thought for another day. Today, as she pretends not to see Vanjie and Brooke with their heads together whispering in the corner of their shared dressing room, Nina tucks a triumphant smile on the corner of her mouth and doesn’t think about being kind at all.

She’s playing with them, pretending to have a secret that’s not really a secret so much as something she wants to shout from the rooftops. She’s acting that way to have a bargaining chip. Maybe that’s not the best way to treat your friends but she couldn’t help herself, but it’s way too much fun.

The bargaining thing came as an idea to have both Brooke and Vanjie’s collaboration on the Big Project (that still doesn’t have a name). Kevin had mentioned how much buzz it would generate if they could have them together, not only at the same time but at the same place. He had said it as a passing thought, but Nina was well aware of the power of the thirsty fans and her gears were already working on making that happen.

Of course, making money while playing with your friends’ feelings was more than morally questionable, but it was for charity. Besides, she had a feeling they were still fucking on the side, maybe when the alcohol was running high or maybe even when they were both dead sober, and she wanted in on that secret. So it was a matter of hitting two birds with one stone. Two lovesick birds, to be precise.

In any case, the project wouldn’t be happening for a while, at least by the end of the year. She didn’t really know exactly, Kevin had the schedule. Nina was sure Brooke and Vanjie could sort their shit until there, or at least brace themselves to have a friendly interaction about their past relationship by then. In any case, having that exclusive content could be the key to a huge bump on Nina’s audience, and even if Brooke and Vanjie months from now would be fine with that, she needed Brooke and Vanjie from right now to sign the deal.

Honestly, though, she didn’t think it would be that easy to play with them. She didn’t even have a plan, just the fact she was acting a little more cheerfully than usual and maybe got away to call Kevin so nobody would pry on their conversation earlier in the evening already had Brooke all curious and frustrated that Nina wouldn’t say anything. Next thing she knew, she was conspiring with Vanjie about it.

Nina liked seeing them liked this. Fucking or not, the relationship they had now was way better than the official one they had before. They were too intense back then, now they were lighter and laughed more. It was refreshing.

After they all performed and de-dragged, they found themselves waiting outside of the club for a van to take them to their hotel. They were a big group, with assistants, local queens, staff, and friends waiting with them to catch a ride too or just to milk their time with the Ru girls until the very last minute. Vanessa was chatting with a group of people, her voice always the loudest. Brooke was having a cigarette and listening to another queen.

Nina had been talking with everybody, but she decided to pull a little stunt. Vanjie would catch an early flight she didn’t know when she would have the chance to talk to both of them again. She excused herself pointing to her phone and took a few steps outside of the group. She called Kevin but acted like she was answering a call, making sure to be right at the line of sight from both Brooke and Vanjie.

“Hey, baby, are you done with work?” asked Kevin in a sleepy voice. They had been officially dating a little over a month, and the pet names still got to Nina every time.

“Yeah, did I wake you?” she said, keeping her voice down but not hiding the foolish expressions that must be coming to her face.

“No, not at all,” lied Kevin, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” said Nina sighing. “Listen, if I start to sound crazy all of a sudden it’s because I’m trying to fool Brooke,” she said hurriedly. She noticed on the corner of her eye that Brooke perked her neck at her and was making her way to Vanjie. Nina kept talking, not reacting.

Kevin chuckled on the phone. “I love this mysterious boyfriend schtick, it’s so Disney Channel.”

“Very on brand for me,” said Nina, chuckling too. She noticed two people coming closer to her and schooled her posture not to change. “I can’t though, I don’t want them to know,” she said seriously to the phone, despite Kevin’s laughter on the other side. She paused for effect. “I know, I’m sorry, but I think it’s too much for them right now,” she continued in an apologetical tone, “they pretend to be fine but they’re really sensitive people! I don’t wanna hurt them!” She turned as she talked so she would have her back turned at the two queens, who were now so close Nina was sure they could hear her even if she whispered. She sighed dramatically. “I won’t, I’m sorry but I won’t, not until they prove to me that they’re fine. Besides, if they’re keeping secrets from me why can’t I keep secrets from them?” she finished with a little bit more truth than she meant.

“Ooh, I think you forgot you were pretending, there,” said Kevin, still laughing.

“Shut up,” said Nina, not able to contain a chuckle herself. “Anyway, I-” She turned then, jumping slightly at seeing Brooke and Vanjie behind her, keeping up with the act. “I’ll talk to you later,” she said to the phone.

“Ok, bye,” said Kevin, knowing what it probably meant and disconnecting.

“Hey guys,” said Nina with an adorable smile. She was having so much fun. “Why are you creeping up on me?”

“Why are you sneaking around and keeping secrets is what’s really the question,” said Brooke, crossing her arms and squinting.

“It doesn’t seem like much of a secret to me,” said Vanjie. She clearly wasn’t taking it so seriously, probably treating it like a game, something fun to pass the time with friends rather than a mystery or a friendship-issue like Brooke. “Nina has a boyfriend,” she said matter-of-factly, putting a hand on her hip.

“Why don’t you just say so, then?” asked Brooke, turning to Vanessa.

“Didn’t you hear her? She thinks we can’t handle it because of our own drama with each other,” said Vanjie.

“That’s stupid,” dismissed Brooke.

“What did you just call me?” said Vanjie.

“What? No! I-” Brooke fumbled to apologized.

“I’m just playing with you,” said Vanessa, immediately smiling wide and giving the blonde a playful push. Brooke rolled her eyes and smiled too.

Nina was just watching them like a tennis match. She had to make a move, though, or it would all be in vain. “I’ll tell you if you promise to be part of a project I’m putting together,” she challenged.

“Deal,” said Brooke immediately.

“Ah, ah, it has to be the two of you, together,” said Nina, pointing at them.

Vanjie looked at her suspiciously. “Why do you have to trick us into it?” she said, now with both hands on her hips, “is it porn?” she asked with a gasp.

“What?” Nina yelled, laughing loudly. “Who do you think I am?”

“Well is it?” asked Brooke.

“No! Jesus! It’s just a regular livestream, a youtube livestream! I’ll explain it to you better, but it’s a huge project we’re putting together for charity. It would be an hour-ish live with fans making questions and stuff, you can do whatever you want, do each other’s make-up, something like that. But if we can have you two in the same room, we all know the audience would be crazy.”

“How do you make money from that?” asked Brooke.

“It’s gonna be an event, you would be promoting some exclusive merch we’ll be selling, and also there would be a few things you would use just so we could sell later, like shirts, props, stuff like that. We’ll sell the live itself too, the video file in HD,” Nina was trying to checklist all the things that went into it as she talked. “Also, there’s gonna be a place for donations and the super chats, where people pay to have their questions more visible so they make sure you answer them. You can also sign things or make things if you want, like painting or customize stuff, that’s up to you, whatever it is it becomes a collectible and people want to buy it. I don’t know if I’m forgetting something, I can send you an email with the details, but that’s basically it.”

“What if they ask us to do something we don’t want to?” said Vanjie.

“You don’t. It’s just a live, not slavery,” responded Nina.

“It doesn’t sound that bad,” said Vanjie, considering, “I mean, we could probably just stand there and talk about tacos and people would already be going nuts, the crazy motherfuckers. We’re in!” She declared with finality.

“What, I don’t get an opinion?” said Brooke.

“You already agreed before she even told you what it was,” said Vanessa laughing.

“I was going to agree too, just to be clear,” said Brooke, “You didn’t have to play games to get us into it, Nina.”

“Thanks, guys!” said Nina, hugging them. “I know I didn’t, but it was so funny!” she said, apologetically, earning a eye-roll from Brooke and a scream from Vanessa.

“Well, what is it then, spill it,” said Brooke, excited.

“Yeah, what’s the T, mama?” said Vanjie.

“I have a boyfriend,” said Nina, shrugging and giggling. Vanessa threw her arms into the air and walked around, making the two of them burst into laughter.

“Call me Vanessa motherfucking Holmes!” she shouted.

“Who is it?” asked Brooke, but Nina didn’t have time to tell, they were called to head inside the Van. She ended up talking about Kevin already in Vanjie’s hotel room while she packed for her early flight. Brooke was surprised to learn that it was the same guy they had talked about months ago, while Vanessa said she already suspected so. The ended up waking Kevin up again so the two of them could harass him through facetime.

Nina was so happy she didn’t even remember she wanted to ask about the status of Brooke and Vanjie’s relationship. She supposed it didn’t really matter, after all. She really felt like they were happy, and maybe it wouldn’t be very congenial of her to be another person probing them about it, they certainly had enough of those. She wanted them together for the project because it would be better for the project, it was a capitalist’s decision.

As a friend, she wanted them to be okay, to be successful, to be happy, to be whatever they wanted to be, individually and separately first and foremost. She couldn’t help but root for their love when she saw them interacting, but that could remain safely hidden inside her head. She had her own love story now, anyway. Her own little compilation of moments and kisses and smiles to go through and think about in her free time.

Now that pride was over, work should get little less intense, and her days at home a little more frequent. She was looking forward to that, for more than one reason, but for one more than the others. A nice and steamy green-eyed reason.

Andrew: Jamie says I’ll be in Columbus next Monday!

Kevin: Don’t tell anyone but I have your schedule printed on my fridge <3

The three little words Nina felt like saying next would have to wait to be said in person.

Tags

nina west, oc, fluff, branjie on the background, beyond my wildest dreams, multifandomgeek

[gg-astrology]

submitted by Dawn ⚘  - A Tea Spilling Party

The tea party!1!1! ⚘ (6 months summary omg)

omg okaaay! So I’m back swEEET!! 🖤🖤🖤

I’m sadly not going to travel TuT I’ll just stay comfy on my house, walk around, do some dance routines and overall chill kjskjss I’m glad you’re doing great :D I hope you take care of yourself and always remember you’re amazing and deserve everything you want!

Hey dawn!!! ❤️💕❤️💕 Oof I’m excited to hear how it continues!! ❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕 I’m gonna let you spill the tea right here, I read through everything already and I– I laughed at how you made my lines bolded and so dramatic like I’m a disembodied voice coming from nowhere which!! also startled me skjnskjn but like I love this. I love the part about you talking to your family, and getting it out and letting people support you. I love how great you are at telling this in a narrative that’s very gripping, so I’ll let others read bc this is– such a gem, and honestly I’m so proud and happy for you dawn! ❤️💕 You deserve your own happiness and contentment, you deserve to feel safe and have your voice heard ❤️💕 I’m glad you’re finally being heard by others too ❤️💕❤️💕 

⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘

Okay so my tea— Comes from the situation I texted you last year (I think it was December? I believe so, I had to check again cuz I definitely don’t have a good memoRY LMAOOO) Okay so:

Last thing I said was that I snapped at him (The capri guy) telling him I couldn’t trust him anymore and I needed space/etc. When I saw your answer about my rant, I actually thought about it deeply: Not only you, but many people told me the same thing. “YOU need heal from this” and I noticed that if everyone saw it, then it must be true.

So… On the first breakdown I had ever in front of my grandma (it was two times). The first one was when I got the fever, I suddenly went to her when she was picking me up from college and broke down into a wheeping mess, I didn’t even know why I was crying to start with. The second time was when (because of that fever) I did very badly on an exam, so I did tell my grandma things I used to bottle up by myself, like those stuff I believe about myself and those critics I harshly give myself because I (used to think) I deserved them. Even more after that problem, where everything “seemed to be” like it was just my fault.

To summary it… She took me in secret to therapy. So the first day I went there, again I just let out some of my feelings and well, it helped me out. Even more after I got note that: My mental health is more important than anything, if I have to let someone down to take care of myself, so be it. After picking me up slowly, the free time I had with my family, after opening up to them about my problems and not taking it all by myself, I got to see everything into another perspective. Taking all the advice everyone told me, and also when you told me “Do you really want to be his friend again?” it got me thinking again.

So the next semester, I came back with a new determination: I was going to be by myself, keep to myself, just focus on what’s important for me. Just decided to not see him as my friend anymore: Just another classmate. I choose seats that weren’t close to him, stopped answering his texts, overall acting as if he friendship was never there. It did made me feel bad, cuz honestly deep down it was hard knowing that it probably hurt, but I definitely felt way better now that I didn’t have to deal with him being around me and honestly… I felt like I could focus again on what was important for me now.

Of course, he’s stubborn. When he was already on the classroom and I searched for my own seat, he’d literally change his seat to sit by my side. He’d send texts even if I didn’t answer at all, one after another. The invitations to his house was still there and he would still follow tf out of me when he saw me walking on the hallways. So, some weeks passed by and Aqua suddenly sent me a text asking about it, cuz Capri texted him some long ass text about the situation. I deeply trust Aqua (he’s actually an aquarius sun/pisces moon, he’s the most emotionally stable person I know? And so spiritual? Istg he’s such a good friend I can’t even tell enough) so I told him about my issues and how I decided to deal with it. He understood and he was deeply sorry that he couldn’t see it (when he shouldn’t at all!) the thing is, we both agreed it’d probably be hard for Capri but he needed to understand I wanted my own space and to focus on college.

Again, to shorten things up, at some point Capri just snapped and followed me asking for an explanation. I had to sit down and tell him what he already knew, plus letting him know I was trying to take care of myself so he should do the same thing. Pointing out even more the: “If someone walks out, don’t follow them. Don’t do this to yourself, don’t follow anyone, it’s not worthy and no one deserves it, you don’t deserve it”

I got closer to my virgo friend (she started liking BTS after hearing me talk bout them 25/8 LMAO) so we got closer by staying some hours at college to do homework together or just watch BTS stuff together (we’re the weird sagi + virgo combo LMAO) so when we were just getting deep into nice talks, I decided to just tell her about it. I kind of knew she probably was aware of stuff, so I decided to tell her what was happening. And I was right, she knew. Even before I did. She told me he asked her for ways of making me like him (before he confessed) and that she actually reminded him about me not wanting any romantic relationships atm. So after seeing the change, she just guessed he probably confessed. She wasn’t aware of how messy things were tho.

Okay so here is where things get spooky... So I said in the last post that he told me he got a girlfriend, right? The thing is, she told me he continued asking about these things even now, which made things even weirder. I decided not to look too much into it though, it wasn’t a problem I wanted to continue eating my head on.

So we had a group project and my team was actually him, my virgo friend and we asked Dino plus other friends for help. We did a record and everything was good, until at the very end when we finished Capri suddenly said something about a trip he was making to a beach and he asked if we wanted to go as a group. I instantly knew I wouldn’t go: First of all, it’d just be us four in that trip. My virgo friend said she wouldn’t go, so that was an instant nono for me. My Dino friend is the typical “I’ll go” and then doesn’t appear (I basically had the most uncomfortable 6 hours of my life because she did the same before when Capri, her and I were supposed to hang out at my house but only he came). So basically, if I accepted it’d have been only us so… Mhm. Nope, not happening.

I made sure to tell him “I can’t, I have something to work on vacations” and it wasn’t a lie, I really had a project to work on. However, on another project we had (the same team, second day of recording) he again asked me if I wasn’t going for real which I went: …I already said so??? No, I won’t. The thing is, it really seemed like he wanted to have an alone time with me to tell me???? Who knows??? Whatever. My grandma told me the same, and honestly, I wasn’t having it.

So we got a two weeks vacation for saint week and well, remember my Dino friend? She asked me if we could meet up to hang out like we did before, and of course, I was excited so I agreed immediately. Everything cool and all, but then she started asking questions about “how I was doing” which I went: Super good :D and then she’s like “Uuuh! Yeah! And u know about your… Situation with Capri and all…” and I was honestly so disappointed. I kind of understand the worry but? I answered the first time like “Oh, yeah. I haven’t thought deeply about it, it’s a matter I don’t want to think about and I have better things to take care about, u know? Yeah”

Even after I completely changed the conversation to speak about better stuff, about our friendship, idk, about something that was more about us as friends than my personal problems, she kind of continued trying to bug me about it. But not in a healthy or worried way, it was as if she wanted me to tell her if I was going to give him another chance which I went: It’s not a matter of “giving another chance”, it’s a matter of taking care of myself. She kind of noticed that I was getting weirded out at so many questions regarding the same thing so she got flustered, telling me so many times things like: “Oh, it’s not like I’m trying to intrude or anything. I really don’t know anything about what’s going on. I don’t want you to see me as if I’m trying to find something! I just~ Really want to see my best friends together again that’s all!” and uhm, she was really (yet again) really defensive. Even when I didn’t say anything but yeah.

And oh my god this is getting so damn long. I’m going to finish everything soon I promise. So, his attitude did got better (meaning he didn’t tried to sit with me anymore and stuff) but I did notice some stalker stuff which made me really scared again. He’d go inside the little convenience store we have on the university just to stay there looking at me while I buy my shit and literally follow me out and walk with me while I go: …Can u stop following me please ohmygod. Also, I was literally in an empty classroom and he just went inside, instantly saying “oh sorry” but still coming in (which means he of course knew I wasn’t comfortable with him coming in). Okay so, I may sound dramatic or smth but hey… I’m still a woman and very tiny compared to him, so of course staying alone with him wasn’t comfortable at all. I literally ran out of the room when he was there. Again, he sent a message to Aqua about how this was ‘too much’ and that even Dino told him he didn’t do anything as bad to receive that kind of attitude. Excuse me, what. If making my life impossible and making me lose my shit for almost a year already wasn’t enough, then what would it be? What would I need to suffer to make my attitude “excusable”?

What happened is that after almost an entire semester of just focusing on my own healing (which I think went quite well… Or I feel so, my mom came back home one day and she told me my eyes were shining again, they even told me I was back in shape. I don’t know about all that, but I do feel like I’ve been able to enjoy this semester more than the last one) it was time to choose the new subjects for our next semester. I did it with my Virgo friend, choosing classes together (cuz this semester I was basically alone in every single class lmao except one). Capri sent his own schedule on the group chat, but I really didn’t check it (I wasn’t going to choose anything related to it anyway, I will only share classes with him by coincidence) and my friend and I went into a hallway that leads to classrooms (that are most of the time empty) to calmly choose over the subjects together.

The thing is, in one of those classrooms (He didn’t use to go on these classrooms, he just started going there after he found out this was my virgo friend and I’s kind of, secret place or smth) and I did see him in an empty classroom and he waved his hand, which I gave him a tiny nod. I told my friend “Capri is here” but I decided to continue checking the classrooms to see if there was another empty classroom. I found one and told her “Here’s an empty classroom” and I waited. My mindset always was: Whatever problems I have with him, she has nothing to do with it and her friendship with him u know. If she wanted to hang out with him while we made our schedule that was completely fine for me too, I am not the type to tell her “no, let’s not go there cuz he’ll be there” cuz nah man, we’re already 19+ years old, that’s old bullshit.

So when she went into the empty classroom, I just followed suit and we did our schedule. So he almost immediately erased his schedule from the group and after a “Woah guys, woah.” message he left the group. (I am so used to him leaving the group that I was just: Mkay.) so then he sent me a long ass message about how he “finally understood” and that he wouldn’t bother me anymore and more stuff. Lowkey it was a bittersweet feeling, I was sad that it had to reach this point yet I felt so fucking free after that message. So finally, after a year (this problem has an entire year oh my god) he finally did what I asked him to do in the first place: Stopped following me, sending messages, basically acted like I did, which was what I was waiting for.

So to summarize everything again: I think the problem finally got solved? In a way? I’m not sure what will happen next semester, but I just hope he for real focuses on his career and just— Leave this thing die u know? It’s been over a year, this is enough.

So yaaah! That’s the tea 💕💕 I hope I didn’t overwhelm you with such a long rant and I’m sorry if I did TT TT

[bonepoem]

YESSSSS RACHEL AND JOEY BELONG TOGETHER!!!!!! I s2g man ross only saw her as an option for dating (read: sex) the entire time they knew one another, but joey knew her as a friend first and then got feelings and he's SO SWEET. i love joey tribbiani so much.

I’m so sorry but I made a super long response because I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT HOW OUR GIRL RACHEL WAS *WRONGED*.

I can’t remember where I first saw it, but someone gave an EXCELLENT analysis of why Rachel and Ross were problematic from the very beginning to the end, and why Joey was a better option for her.To try and summarize their point while also adding my own thoughts, Rachel’s entire character arc is centered around her becoming an independent woman who can take care of herself without being dictated to or controlled. For the majority of the seasons, Rachel frequently turned to Monica and begged her to make Rachel’s choices for her, and had to work extremely hard to take control of her own life, her own choices, and become confident in them to the point that she not only became successful, but happy with the life she was creating. 

Ross is not only problematic because he’s controlling, manipulative, jealous, and takes out his insecurities on others, but he’s literally the embodiment of everything Rachel is trying to get away from in her character arc, which is why he’s so tempting to her because Ross is familiar to her. She’s used to controlling and manipulative men (her father) making all of her decisions, keeping her in a bubble to the point she can’t learn from her own experiences, and constantly doing everything so Rachel would be more dependent on him and want him more. 

For example, not be her own person, but literally belong to Ross to the point that she can’t have any male friendships he doesn’t approve of, even if it’s just coworker relationships! Also consistently disrespecting her privacy. Whether it was watching her naked through a window and taking that to mean she wanted sex instead of just calling and asking if she was aware her windows were open, or that time she asked him to turn around while she was changing and he not only refused, but closed his eyes and repeatedly told her he could see her naked whenever he wanted because he remembered. When she asks him to stop saying it, he doesn’t, and thinks it’s funny even when she’s clearly uncomfortable while acting as though her discomfort is childish when he’s the one acting like a child. Or how about the ‘we were on a break.’ It’s not about the break, dumb ass. Break or not, she felt betrayed, and he should have apologized for hurting her regardless of a break in the relationship. Bam. Instant solve. But instead he was more interested in making her take the blame for his actions and guilt tripped her constantly for his own mistakes

Obviously Rachel has a hard time saying no to someone like Ross because he’s what she’s spent her whole life growing up in. Controlling men who have to be heard and followed. It’s easy for Rachel to be sucked back into that. We really see that when Rachel realizes she’s becoming like her father when she verbally and emotionally harasses Joey while trying to teach him how to sail, and immediately hates herself for it because she recognizes it as toxic behavior and immediately removes any opportunities where she might do that to Joey or anyone else because she values others more than her own need to be right. (Behavior that’s eerily similar to Ross.)

But Rachel’s arc is about taking the difficult path for the betterment of herself and her own life, being her own person! So choosing Ross in the end, when he didn’t really improve at all in his own terrible habits and behaviors (making her choose him over a job she loved and would be amazing at), was a slap in the face to everything Rachel worked for in the series. I respect her enough to make her own decisions, but damn it wasn’t a good choice in the end, and I blame the writers for that because they were more interested in the long term ridiculousness of the relationship instead of something wholesome and supportive that Rachel deserved after all her hard work.Now, Joey. Oh, Joey. I love him. He deserved better and more time to develop his own character arc, but Rachel was a good story line for him because he found someone he literally fell in love with and instead of being insecure about it to the point of controlling Rachel to make himself feel better, he tried to work on himself instead. He dealt with his own emotions (in an amusing way, of course), but he tried to work on him. He didn’t want Rachel to change. He liked her exactly as she was and he worked SO HARD to be worthy of her without ever asking her to change, give up relationships, or force her to do things his way. 

When she needed a room, he offered it without conditions (even though he did throw in a joke to make it seem less serious, because he has his own insecurities to deal with) and when Rachel was pregnant, he moved heaven and hell for her to be comfortable in their apartment and changed his life dramatically to make sure she and the baby would be safe and happy. Meanwhile, Ross managed to guilt Joey and Rachel into having Rachel move in with Ross, all because Ross wanted Rachel and the baby to himself since he was ‘the father.’ He completely disregarded how well off and happy Rachel and Joey were on their own.

Joey was also extremely honest when he realized he had feelings for Rachel, needed to voice his feelings, and he dealt with it in a shockingly mature way that put Ross’s behavior to shame, even though Joey wasn’t comfortable and fumbled his way through it. And when Rachel initially rejected him, Joey didn’t fight her on it. He tried to move on and be the best friend he could possibly be. Meanwhile, when Rachel broke up with Ross, he acted like a child and continued to be emotionally manipulative. 

Joey respects Rachel and who she is as a person. He trusts her and treats her like she hung the moon. He understands her in a way Ross couldn’t because Ross was more interested in what Rachel could do for him instead of being willing to accept her decisions the first time and not constantly emotionally pull her around and make her life more difficult.

Also, Rachel respected Joey. They had great chemistry, were allowed to be goofy together without feeling guilty (making messes, playing kid games), enjoyed many of the same things (which was super evident when Phoebe tried to drive Rachel out of Joey’s apartment by buying drums and they BOTH loved it, and when Phoebe bought a spider Rachel was able to take care of it for Joey who was afraid of them. Talk about strength for each other’s weaknesses. Rachel fights Joey’s fears and Joey fights Rachel’s fears, whether it’s insecurities, lack of confidence, or spiders or messing up). 

And Rachel also supported his work as an actor, was the most excited for him in his soap opera work out of all the friends, and demanded to go with him to all his events where he was honored because she loved him and what he did. (The friends supported him too, but Rachel was VERY vocal about how much she loved the show he was in and how excited she was for him when he was up for nominations.)

TL;DR Joey and Rachel had better chemistry, had mutual respect for each other and their work and personalities, and didn’t try to manipulate each other when they hit a brick wall. That’s the stuff healthy relationships are made of, and it would have made more sense to Rachel’s character arc to either choose no man and continue to carve a life for herself independently, or at least choose someone like Joey who respected her, her decisions, and didn’t try to manipulate her constantly and only wanted her to be happy, no matter what she chose. (Like Joey.)

[thelyonsempire]

Once a Single Mom with a Dream, Taraji P. Henson is Now a Hollywood Headliner

Want to know what it feels like for a woman to be a commanding presence in a man’s world? Just ask Taraji P. Henson, who might be the greatest motivational speaker we ladies have at the moment. 

“I feel like a boss bitch,” she says, flashing her megawatt grin. “I’m grabbing my nuts, like, ‘Yeah!’ ”

Could we consider this an apt metaphor for the current push-pull of power dynamics? Perhaps. As Henson knows, there’s no time to mince words anymore. From the #MeToo movement to the midterm elections, we’ve seen what happens when women stake their claim. Henson, a single mother from Washington, D.C., who has worked in the industry for over 20 years, is among those finally getting their due — and she’s not afraid to say it.

Her latest film, What Men Want, explicitly explores these themes. Out in February, it flips the script from the Nancy Meyers-directed What Women Want (2000), which starred Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt. Henson plays Ali Davis, a cocky (for lack of a better term) sports agent. After getting passed over for a big promotion, she visits a psychic (the singer Erykah Badu) who provides her with a special tea that allows her to hear men’s thoughts.

Henson stars and also serves as an executive producer. It’s the first time the 48-year-old actress — who has nailed every dramatic role that has come her way — is getting a chance to flex her musical-theater-trained muscles as the lead in a full-fledged comedy. And Henson is clearly in her element, engaging in the kind of “I’ll do anything for laughs” physical antics emblematic of her heroes Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball.

“I’ve always been the funny girl,” Henson says emphatically. “Not that I was pigeonholed. They were all great dramatic roles, but I’ve been dying. I just felt so honored and grateful to get a comedy where I could let it all hang out. My best friend was like, ‘Lord, they don’t know what they have unleashed.’ ”  

“Taraji is old-school funny,” says someone who would know, her What Men Want co-star Tracy Morgan. “She is willing to take a pie to the face or stuff a bunch of candy in her mouth to get a laugh. She cuts the monster but doesn’t cut too deep because she knows we need the monster comedy.”

This past November Henson also voiced the animated character Yesss (which Henson pronounces as “Yesssssss” in her sweet drawl) in Ralph Breaks the Internet, Disney’s big-budget sequel to Wreck-It Ralph, which grossed over $400 million worldwide. It was another chance for her to show off her comedic chops, but this time for the kids. And after years of struggling to make it in Hollywood, she’s acutely aware of how doing a family film can help her bank account.

“You know, that’s [audiences buying] four tickets instead of two,” Henson says. “That’s generally going to be the largest-grossing film in anyone’s repertoire.”

To attend InStyle’s shoot, she took a 24-hour break from the Chicago set of Empire and her most significant character to date, the cutting and campy Cookie Lyon. Henson admits that the silver-tongued ex-con and matriarch of the Lyon family was the one who really put her on the Hollywood map. Despite all her successes — in the Oscar-nominated films Hidden Figures and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button — Henson has never had a movie studio bring her overseas to do press. But Cookie has.

“Hollywood executives would tell me that I don’t have fans all the way over there,” Henson says, shaking her head. “I said, ‘You’re lying because they can reach me any time. I’m a finger tap away, and they let me know every day.’ ” And while the international box office plays a big role in getting lead parts in feature films, it was Cookie who let Henson know she was appreciated. “Then we go to Paris [to promote Empire], and it’s standing room only in a room with 1,500 seats. I cried. If you believe what people tell you … you can’t let people tell you shit.”

Henson’s strong sense of self comes from her parents. She was an only child until she was 17 (her half sister, April, now works as her “a-sister-ant”). Her father, Boris, was a Vietnam War vet who battled PTSD and alcoholism throughout her childhood. Despite his mood swings, Henson says, he instilled in her a no-fear attitude that has stuck with her to this day. From her mother, Bernice, she inherited her endless drive and passion.

“I was like the Punky Brewster of the hood,” Henson says with a laugh. “I was a well-rounded kid, but I could also scrap if necessary. But I wasn’t that hard. I still had Strawberry Shortcake wallpaper in my room, and my friend Tracie and I were doing Shakespeare in the Park … and we were in the f—ing hood.”

Though it was clear from an early age that Henson was a natural-born performer, she spent her nascent college years attempting to follow in her father’s footsteps by studying engineering at North Carolina A&T State University. With her colorful outfits and spirited attitude, she earned the on-campus nickname Hollywood, yet it still took failing math classes for her to realize the sciences were not where she belonged. When she called Boris to tell him, he was not surprised.

“Good,” he said. “Get your ass back up to D.C. and enroll in Howard’s drama department. Do what you’re supposed to be doing.”

While attending Howard University, Henson became pregnant with her son, Marcell. After graduation the single mom and her baby boy moved to Los Angeles with $700 borrowed from family and friends so she could pursue her dreams. Between casting calls, there were stints as a substitute teacher for kids with special needs. Eventually she landed an agent, and guest spots on network television shows soon followed. But it was her roles in films such as Baby Boy and Hustle & Flow that really made Hollywood take notice.

Now that she’s got the mic, Henson is putting it to good use, choosing impactful projects like this spring’s The Best of Enemies, about civil-rights activist Ann Atwater and her unlikely friendship with C.P. Ellis (portrayed by Sam Rockwell), a former member of the Ku Klux Klan. She is also starring in and producing a movie about Emmett Till, the teenager who was lynched for allegedly whistling at a white woman in Mississippi in 1955.

“I don’t care if you’re young or old or what color you are, art is so powerful,” she says on the topic of representation. “You can show things to people you’ve never met and you broaden horizons. I don’t take for granted what I have, and I try to use it in any way I can, positively.”

The fact that Hollywood continues to preach about the importance of diversity but then casts predominately white males in lead roles is not lost on the actress. “Here’s the deal: When you talk about money, don’t you want to make money? I want every walk of life [in my films]. If I could put an alien in, I would. I want their money too. Come on, it’s what the world looks like. That’s what people want to see, representation. That’s all. You can make money doing it. It’s a no-brainer.”

She also recently established the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation (named after her beloved father), which encourages African-Americans with mental-health issues to seek the help they need. “It was born out of necessity,” she says. “You know, traumatic stuff happened to me and my son. [Her ex-boyfriend, Marcell’s father, was murdered in 2003.] You can’t just pray it away. I don’t care how strong you are. It gets to you, and if you don’t deal with it, it manifests itself in ways you don’t even know.

“My white friends have standing appointments with their therapists,” Henson continues. “I was like, ‘Why aren’t we doing that?’ In our culture, it’s taboo.” The first people to sign on? Her male friends from the industry, all of whom wrote checks on the spot. “The black men stepped up. Snoop Dogg, Xzibit, Tracy Morgan, Chance the Rapper all stepped up. I called, they answered. Snoop told me, ‘Baby girl, that’s important. What you’re doing is important.’ Tyrese said, ‘You’re making it cool to seek help.’ ”  

Another supportive figure is her fiancé, former NFL cornerback (and Super Bowl XLI winner) Kelvin Hayden. The two were quietly dating for three years before Hayden proposed last Mother’s Day. They are planning to wed this summer in a private, low-key affair, and though her designer friends are offering to make her a dress, Henson is opting for the most efficient route.

“I’m not going to go through 10,000 dresses,” she says. “How does it fit? How do I feel? Does it complement me well? Let’s just go with this one. I know what looks good on me. I’m not going to spend 10 hours on a fitting. I hate that.”

The wedding itself will probably take place in July, once Henson figures out if Empire is going to be picked up for a sixth season. Fortunately, it is filmed in Chicago, where she and Hayden reside with Marcell — now 24 and an aspiring rapper and music producer — and their miniature French bulldog, K-Ball, which was Hayden’s nickname when he played in the NFL.

Their life is a healthy one. Hayden runs his own gym, and she’s always cooking new vegan treats for her tribe. She made the jump to veganism after suffering massive stomach pains while filming The Best of Enemies this past summer. “It took a doctor in Macon, Ga., to say, ‘If you don’t change what you’re doing, you’re going to get stomach cancer.’ I said, ‘Say no more.’ So I switched everything up out of necessity. I want to live. Thank God, because I feel so much better.”

Now that she’s in love, at the top of her game, and clearly adored by the world at large, Henson is ready to expand her repertoire even further. “The older I get, I want to work smarter, not harder,” she says. She’ll answer that superhero hotline if it rings — “DC, Marvel, you all can call me!” — but for now she’s content being the funny girl.

“I want to show you this,” she says, grabbing her phone to play a video that was sent to her by What Men Want director Adam Shankman. It’s footage from an early screening, and the audience is roaring with laughter.

Henson admits to having goose bumps as she cradles the device like a proud mama: “Listen to them cackling!”