mychocolateroses - Tumblr blog

[mychocolateroses]

Not everyone you lose is a loss/ How to avoid people who are not good for you

Our twenties teach us so much. One of the things we realize is that throughout our lives we will continue to meet people, and we will continue to lose people. We learn that some people come and stay and some people come and go. And both will leave their mark. Sooner or later we learn that we will not only grieve our loved ones who have passed, we will too grieve loved ones that simply become strangers. We’ll realize that not everyone can be in our lives forever, not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever, and there are some that do not “deserve” to be in our lives forever.

 You’ll meet people, and as time goes by you’ll look back and think “how did you even get here?”, because some people come into our lives quietly. You’ll meet people who suddenly change or enlighten our lives, and we will meet people who suddenly disrupt or cause chaos; because some come into our lives loudly.

 We meet people who inspire us and teach us something about ourselves/life.

We meet people who become inspired or learn something about themselves/ life from us.

There will be people who become life-long friends.

There will be people whose lives eventually pull us elsewhere.  

And there will be people whom we need to be careful of… the ones who we will have to remove from our lives ourselves.

 The ones we will have to remove from our lives ourselves are usually the people who are no good for us. And don’t get these people confused with acquaintances. You can meet someone and figure out they are not a match for you in a friendship or relationship, but you can still manage to love them as a person and at a distance. What you have to be aware of are the people who do not fit into your life harmoniously, and only bring negativity, stress, and problems instead. Someone who you can accept as they are and know they will not harm you or will not stunt your growth… is an acquaintance.  But someone who mistreats you brings you bad energy and when they are around you struggle to find peace, is the type of person we should “avoid”.

Sometimes without even realizing it, we are allowing others to affect our mood, disrespect us and distract us by just being involved with them. Being “the better person” or forgiving them and accepting their unhealthy behavior constantly (because we either feel bad or lie to ourselves and believe we need them around or believe we can manage to keep them at a distance like we do acquaintances) this is something we have to learn to avoid doing.  

  If you’ve never noticed some of the red flags I’m about to talk about, today’s your lucky day. But I would assume that most people notice these red flags, and just decide to ignore them.

  In my opinion it seems majority of people who ignore red flags are the people who don’t understand that by doing this, they are {one} doing more damage than good, and {two} settling-for-less. Some people don’t mean to do this but then again there are so many people who stay in damaging relationships even though they know better. And so many people keep friendships that serve them no justice. Let’s also not forget that some people stay in relationships or stay friends with someone because they benefit from them emotionally or financially. (You should never do this to others or yourself.) We all know what different types of settlers there are. What’s important is that we don’t become them.

Ways to avoid people who are no good for us (Red flags):

1.      *Do not force connections with people.* If you do not vibe with someone and things that they do or say make you feel uneasy or uncomfortable…don’t force yourself to think it’s you or that you can fix it. Yes, sometimes people are just nervous and aren’t fully themselves right away or whatever the case may be. But remember that in most cases what you see is what you get.  Instead of wasting a lot of time trying to make things “right” or “comfortable”, learn to go with the flow and try to understand that this person will not change no matter what you tell yourself. Connections shouldn’t be forced and they shouldn’t come with constant doubt.

2.      *Trust your instincts and your intuition.* There are signs everywhere telling us what we need to know! Don’t ignore them. If someone is acting weird or is rubbing off on you the wrong way, realize that something is going on and there’s a reason energies are shifting. Whether it’s you addressing it somehow or it’s you distancing yourself from the situation to see how it plays out... just continue to listen to how you feel and what you feel and continue with caution. Energy doesn’t lie. Intuition keeps no secrets.

3.      *Don’t allow them to disregard your feelings.* For example: Do not allow someone to ignore you or beat around the bush if you ask them important questions. Do not allow someone to tell you that your feelings are invalid. Someone who cares about your feelings would clarify anything you need clarified and will talk to you about anything you’re concerned about. Never second guess yourself. If you cannot get a straight answer from someone or you feel like you’re being bullshitted or brushed off, you are. This person is most definitely not complying. How someone feels about you shows through their actions. Don’t make excuses for them and don’t allow people to manipulate you into thinking it’s you and that you’re wrong when you feel a certain way.

4.      *Don’t tolerate disrespect.* If someone speaks to you in a way that you feel disrespected, let them know. If they do something that you don’t like, let them know. If they do it again or make you feel that way with other things too, try to realize this person will not change and you should not try and force them to. Doesn’t matter what your wishes are if they know this bothers you, they should not continue the same behavior, and you shouldn’t allow them to stick around to do so.

5.      *Ask yourself if they motivate you or suck the energy out of you* Someone you spend a lot of time with or any time with should make you feel good and motivate you to do better and be a better you. Stay away from people who constantly talk about others and constantly have drama and problems in their life. People who are exhausting. These people need to figure themselves out and shouldn’t be allowed to bring negativity to the table. It’s one thing for your friends and anyone you love to go through hard times but it’s another when it takes over their entire life and they don’t make any changes. Yes, people learn at different paces but if someone’s energy is affecting your life it is not okay. Who you are around should make you feel at ease and proud.

6.      *Are there boundaries? As long as you know someone’s intentions, boundaries will be there. Someone who is good for you shows you boundaries where you want to see them. If you are unaware of someone’s intentions and you feel as if your relationship has no built foundation or direction, you need to communicate to figure it out or see that your relations are going nowhere.

7.      *Do not allow someone to have their cake and eat it too unless you’re both sharing the cake & with a smile* If you are doing “wifey” or “hubby” things for someone you want to be with and you don’t know whether or not you are exclusive, and they never make it clear when you try to find out… then this person is not your boyfriend/girlfriend. If and as soon as you think “what are we”… that is the right moment to find out. And you shouldn’t have to wait for someone else to get to the same page as you or be ready to date you. I’m just saying; don’t go insane waiting and being committed to someone who you feel is not doing the same for you or is making things difficult. If you’re friends with someone who makes you feel unappreciated, try not to focus so much on pleasing them and start worrying more about how you can stay away from feeling taken for granted.

8.      *If others can’t trust them, then they’re probably not trustworthy* we all know how it feels to not trust someone. Try not to waste your time and invest in untrustworthy people. People who are trustworthy reveal themselves as well as untrustworthy people. If you feel like you don’t trust them, it’s not your job to prove to yourself that they can be trusted. This should be proven on its own and shouldn’t take up any space in your mind. Be careful and protect yourself.

9.      *Are they willing to compromise?* In a relationship, you and your partner (or partner in-the-making) may want to have similar goals or outlooks in life. If your partner hates to go out or travel and explore new things but you are a huge social butterfly and cannot sit still... you should discuss this in order to come to a mutual agreement to make the both of you happy. If you can’t stand someone who wants to be at home all the time, then you probably should seek a relationship elsewhere. But if you don’t mind that they like to be home and they can compromise a day at home to spend out with you, then this person is worth keeping. As long as you’re both putting in effort to understand each other, that’s all that matters.  Sometimes this leads to a long successful relationship, sometimes the opposite. Don’t be discouraged if you grow apart and find that things don’t work; everyone has someone out there for them.

In life, there will be people who do not fit in our world. And some do not fit in our world without a fight. One day we realize that our peace is worth more than anything. We realize at some point that living with harmony and having people in our lives who are consistent is better than keeping people around who require so much of our energy and attention, especially when that energy and attention is taking away from building ourselves up. Not everyone should be allowed into our space. Struggling for people to stay in our lives becomes pointless when we realize that what’s for us will always stay effortlessly. There is too much life to live to waste it being tired and unhappy. It is so important to know the difference between who we will grow with and who will hold us back.  And even though someone might not be good for us, that doesn’t mean they can’t be good in someone else’s life.  Sometimes others have to learn what the negative is inside them through us. Sometimes it’s not even the person themselves but their circumstances in life that are keeping them from being their best. But that is for them to figure out. And it is for us to figure out what kind of company we can afford.

[mychocolateroses]

The road to self-love

There are two relationships that will significantly affect you in your lifetime.

The ones with your lovers,

And the one with yourself.

A relationship with a lover will be extremely challenging to maintain and take care of if you do not have a solid relationship with yourself.

It’s one thing to know you deserve to be happy, and it’s another thing to allow yourself to be.

(If you don’t care to hear my personal experience then you can skip to after the italics)

Even when I was emotionally attached in a toxic relationship, I still knew that I deserved better. But I didn’t love myself enough to do what it took to get there. I needed to detach myself. Feel the pain for a little while until my mind was clear enough and I could start evolving as an individual again. I could’ve argued and named multiple other reasons why I couldn’t leave but it always boiled down to two things. Comfort. Attachment. I’m going to tell you one thing that I know for a fact. If I truly loved and valued myself I would have not remained in a toxic relationship. I would’ve left my relationship much sooner, and in much healthier circumstances. I also probably would’ve been less of a b****. My relationship got the best of me. And I’m sure we’ve all been here or been through similar situations. Some people are living this right now. But we all find our way out. Unfortunately for me it was self destruction that got me away from the toxic relationship I was in. All of the times I’d been let down and then forgave anyway. All the times I felt like nothing I did was appreciated or reciprocated and I stayed anyway. It’s all the times I chose “us” instead of what was right. Allowing someone to suck the life out of me was exactly what I did. Trying to “fix” someone by attempting to fill their empty spaces with all of the things I needed from them. All of what was me. I gave my all to someone who was empty because they hadn’t learned how to love themselves either, and I ended up feeling like I had nothing left BUT THEM. But they couldn’t do anything for me. What I didn’t know then is the most important investments are first within ourselves. I should’ve chosen me but no one ever taught me this. I learned the hard way. When we are not mentally healthy and put more effort into a lover than we do ourselves, we are only making things worse. The more we feed excuses to a toxic situation, the more toxic it becomes. So like I said earlier, it wasn’t before I self destructed, that my relationship came to an end. It wasn’t before self-destruction that I started to learn my worth, how to have a solid relationship with myself, and how to rebuild the person I had lost. I wish we wouldn’t do this to ourselves.

{For those of you who are single, who have already overcome a toxic relationship, who never want history to repeat itself, those who can’t remember the last time they were in love or maybe you’ve never even been in love. The ones who get wrapped up in dating the wrong people, or the ones who just don’t date at all and feel held back, you need to take the first step of choosing to INVEST IN YOURSELF. Stop worrying about when you’re going to find love. Stop worrying about what keeps going wrong. Change that focus onto yourself. This process may begin at a different level for you than it will for someone else. Meaning some of the things I’m about to talk about may be things you’ve already accomplished. Begin to invest where you need to. You know you the best.}

{For those of you who are in the predicament I was in or are overwhelmed with emotions. Maybe feel like you do not have the will power to leave your relationship or don’t have the right support system or guidance to do so. Even for those of you who try to avoid the reality that your relationship is toxic and that you are not happy by pretending you are happy. Masking the cons of your relationship for social media by putting the tiny amount of pros on a public pedestal. ANYONE who knows they are settling, y o u d e s e r v e better. You deserve everything you’re missing. And so do the ones around you. You could have everything if you just took the first step to loving yourself. Not the first step to breaking up with your significant other, not the first step to losing the love of your life, not the first step to getting rid of someone, not the first step to breaking up a family, not the first step to your world crumbling down. THE FIRST STEP to loving yourself. The first step to being genuinely happy.}

The first step is just investing. Change your focus and invest in yourself. Invest in finding happiness. I can almost guarantee doing this will naturally pull you towards what’s meant for you and pull you away from what’s not meant for you. One step in a positive direction is all it takes and the rest will fall into place. Take the pressure off your relationship. No this isn’t easy. No one said it was.

Ways to build a healthy/solid relationship with yourself:

1. *Be content with being alone.* You have to be happy by yourself. If you constantly feel like you are alone, thats your mind telling you that you need yourself more than ever. Get to a point where you’re not thinking “I’m so lonely”, “I’m so bored”, “I wish I had a friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend to hangout with”. If you are not content with being alone and being in your own company without complaints, you will struggle in a relationship. Learn to love your own company. Learn to not even realize you’re by yourself. The trick is to STAY BUSY!!

2. *Focus on what brings income and what you love to do and do your best!* Working is something we’re doing probably 50-80% of the time maybe less, maybe more. If you are half-assing your work, you’re really only half-assing yourself. We need to be productive and self-sufficient. The goal should be to accelerate, learn more, or at least give your best efforts. Doing these things will increase your mood dramatically and open one door after another. But just remember; Don’t overwork yourself. We all need balance and we all need a break physically and mentally.

3. *Make the most of your spare time.* If you’re depressed, mopey, lazy, etc. recognize this right away and get up and do something to change your mood! Try not to linger in negative energy. Go do your dishes. Clean your home. Put your favorite song on. Light a f*cking candle. Clean your car/truck/SUV. Fold the clothes that have been sitting in your dryer or clean basket for days. Stand up and give your mind a rest. This is something I always do and I’m telling you it’s a life changer.

4. *Be aware of your feelings.* Even though it’s important to not linger in negative energy, sometimes we find ourselves doing so. And most of the time it’s good that we just dust off our shoulders and move on. But sometimes negative energy needs to be addressed in order to get rid of it. You have to be aware of your moods & what you’re feeling. Be in the moment. For example, my mom taught me something that I’ll never forget. Anytime you get mad about something someone else is doing... really stop and ask yourself why is it bothering you? Is it because this is something you’re insecure about? Are you being triggered bc something deep down? ... this made me view things a lot differently. And if I had no idea why I was mad I would just ask myself is it helping me to be mad about it? When we get defensive, a lot of the times it’s because it triggers an insecurity. My mother taught me to recognize this. But one thing I figured out on my own later down the line is there’s also things that cause extreme excitement and it’s just as important to be aware of this as well. When something makes us happy, SOAK in the moment. Take a step back and appreciate everything good that’s before your eyes or that’s happening to you. Appreciate what you have. Remember the things that bring you this feeling and go there as much as you can. Appreciate the people around you who make you feel good too. Be aware of your feelings and understand them. And be aware of how your surroundings make you feel. This will be so crucial in the process of manifesting the life you want.

5. *Communicate your issues and concerns.* For example: If someone you care about is making you feel some type of way, confront them about it. (If it’s worth it, right?) This doesn’t mean be rude or disrespectful, it means in order to resolve problems you first have to address them... so you can FIX them. Why would you want to keep tension? Why would you stress yourself out by reserving bad feelings? Friendships will fail if you bottle up everything inside and try to ignore what makes you feel a way. Doesn’t matter what it is. Another example: If your friend was super quiet and seemed upset, wouldn’t you do your best to see what’s wrong and help them? Wouldn’t you want to come up with a solution and see them happy again? So why wouldn’t you do the same for yourself? Why would you want to stay upset over something? If you can not communicate with yourself or others, how can you have a successful relationship?

6. *Stop entertaining your insecurities.* Everyone has insecurities. Insecurities come from many different things... the way we were raised, the environment we were around as a child and throughout our life or from toxic relationships, etc. I think insecurities are built-in. And on top of it society has played a role in magnifying our insecurities. Insecurities mimic behavior. Some insecurities crave attention, some insecurities are clingy, some are mean to others or disrespectful, some are even overly nice. Some insecurities are flirty, some are quiet. The list goes on and on. To make this short and sweet; if your behavior or mentality is causing an imbalance in your life: resentment, sadness, anything that isn’t helping you grow as a person most likely it’s an insecurity trying to take the spot light. If you understand why these insecurities are there, you can figure out how to get rid of them. And insecurities are much more obvious than you’d think. Especially to others.

7. And that leads to my last step of advice: *Accept yourself for who you truly are.* As soon as we begin to be our authentic selves, the better we become. Don’t compare yourself to others. Accept your flaws, your mannerisms, your humor, your personality, your body.. we should work to love ourselves physically just like we should love ourselves internally. If we cannot love ourselves for who we are, we cannot love someone else properly.

***NOTE: It may be a difficult/timely process to really face yourself and build (or finish building) a solid relationship with yourself but its much more a rewarding one. And even when we begin to master these steps, we will still remain flawed and there will still be moments where we feel like we fall short. But all we need is a reminder that loving ourselves is a life long investment but once we have built a relationship with ourselves, we have all we need to get back up and keep going.

Written by: Breonna Granto

[mychocolateroses]

Most people barely know themselves. So what does it matter what they think of you?

When you know who you are, and when you know that any mistakes/bad choices you’ve made can’t break you out of you... no opinion against you will ever matter. Because when you know yourself, you’re already your toughest critic. Keep on living and growing at your own pace and don’t let the pace of others interrupt you.

Even if you’ve done wrong; Everyone has their moments of being ashamed of themselves but don’t linger there, Learn. Even if someone’s done you wrong; Everyone has their moments where they’re ashamed of others but don’t linger there either. Grow. The more we grow, the more we understand. The more we understand, the less we question ourselves and others. The less we question ourselves and others, the easier it’ll be to be at peace always.

Written by: Breonna Granto

[mychocolateroses]

I told you so.

To: Me

From: Me

I thought he had the path to his heart cleared, when all I knew was a path through suffering.

I remember the first time I was afraid of him letting me down like I had been used to, but he didn’t.

I remember the first time he let me down.

In the beginning I didn’t think he would hurt me really; I had confidence in him, even though I didn’t know everything about him. I didn’t need to. I know he’s a good man and that he knows how to treat a woman right. But it wasn’t long before I knew it would inevitably end.

It’s because of all the disappointments, that I know when someone is wrong for me. But it’s because of all the disappointments that I know when someone is better than their actions.

This is what made it hard for me.

Nothing’s easier to understand than a feeling we’ve felt a million times before. Especially feelings that inflate wounds we did so much soul-searching to heal. But do we run away when those feelings resurface? Or do we take a step back and deal with it in a way we didn’t get the chance to before? In a way that we challenge ourselves to not have the same doubts as we did in the past. “I wonder if I would’ve done this differently, things would’ve turned out better.” “I wonder if I would’ve said this instead of this…”

Because of the doubts I had in my past, I gave us a chance. I made sure I did things better than I had before given similar circumstances. For the most part, this worked out in both of our favor. But even after we’d resolve an issue it was never long until I was upset over something else. I’m not a difficult person and I’m not the type to give up just because things aren’t ideal so I remained hopeful. I had nothing to lose but something to gain. I kept pushing him away then pulling him closer, even though a part of me knew he wouldn’t stay peacefully.

As women, I think that some of our strengths coincide with our weaknesses. Some of us try so hard to understand others before holding them accountable for hurting us. We invest time in these people and hope that having compassion will motivate them to do better. And no matter what or who it is, some of us have a tendency to try and fix. Fix problems, fix people. Sometimes forgetting that you can’t always fix people; some people do not see that they are broken. Sometimes forgetting that you can’t get people to treat you better, if they don’t see wrong in how they’re treating you to begin with. Sometimes forgetting that certain situations/people don’t even need to be fixed, just accepted for what/who they are so that we can either move on or move forward.

In the end, all I could say is I don’t think I was wrong to trust him but I learned that I was wrong to convince myself things would keep getting better when I knew better. Feeding off of someone’s potential never worked out in the past so what made me think this was any different?  It’s hard to listen to our instincts when feelings grow but as long as we listen to ourselves we can make sure we are careful. We waste so much time being in love with the idea of loving someone that most of us invest in people who aren’t equally as invested in us. We shouldn’t do this to ourselves because taking chances doesn’t always end in relief, it usually ends in heartbreak. 

Written by: Breonna Granto

[mychocolateroses]

This is why you’ll miss me and this is why I’ll still miss you

Let me start from the beginning. I’m not just interested in any guy who is interested in me. It’s hard for me to understand how some people have been in multiple relationships at such a young age. I mean more power to you but I’m not for everybody and I don’t meet a lot of people who are for me. This can be a blessing, but this can be a disadvantage.

If you can relate to what I just said, you probably have the same, difficult time letting go; Letting go of the ones we had to part ways with. I mean the ones we seen in our lives potentially forever. A lot of people find replacements as their way of forgetting about the last and moving on. But I can’t do this and I won’t do this. I think it’s important we let go of people before we move on to the next. Because I think when we really miss someone; it means they had a big enough impact on our lives which means there was a reason they came into our lives. Find that reason before you move on. It could be a lesson you had to learn, or it could be a reality check they needed, or both.

The way they left could have been a lot of different things. Maybe you weren’t right for each other, or maybe they were just foolish. Maybe you chose to cut them out of your life, or maybe they did it to themselves. Maybe you misunderstood each other; or maybe you were too similar. It could’ve been anything. It won’t change the fact they were important to you and now they are gone.

A lot of people may not know this but I don’t like dating. I’ve been in one serious relationship. I don’t force myself to stay away from people. I don’t force myself onto people. Everybody is just not for me and I have a good sense for who is. When it comes to a relationship… there has got to be some type of aligned stars for me to date you. I am not being cocky. I am choosy; and he will be the choosy type too. This is just how I am. And there are people just like me out there too, this is for us.

If we got attached to you and you aren’t in our lives anymore. We want you to know that we miss you. Regardless of why we went our separate ways, we still miss you. Because we see the good and we see the potential in you. We can point out the real from the fake and you were real in our eyes. You took care of a part of us and we loved and admired that. (But you pushed us away.)

We would’ve always recognized the things we could’ve done better to make things work. We would’ve never intentionally hurt you. We would’ve never let you down. We didn’t have bad intentions and we always were honest with you. We would’ve done anything for you,and because you already know that… this is why you’ll miss us too.

Written by: Breonna Granto

[mychocolateroses]

Don’t take it personally, unless you need to take it personally

“Success is always temporary. When all is said and done, the only thing you’ll have left is your character.”

{To the ones with broken character}

Compassion and respect Everyone’s been hurt. I’ve been hurt a lot mentally which for me, is the worst. Our mind is so important. Even in a healthy body, an unhealthy mind can destroy our well-being. I can always tell who is healthier mentally based on the different ways people have made me feel. Good and bad. (I notice this with myself, too)

We have all been disrespected. Some of us have been disrespected by people intentionally---the people, who disrespect us once, then do it again and again. (The ones with broken character)

Most of us learn from how we have affected others and change our behavior, forgive ourselves and continue to grow because we don’t want to be the cause of pain and because breaking others won’t fix ourselves.

But there are people who don’t realize this or maybe don’t want to realize this. Usually, the ones whose “Sorrys” are always empty, or the ones never saying sorry. These people leave us furious, and searching for answers. How can they hurt me when I thought they cared about me? How can they treat my feelings like a joke? How can they do that to me when I am nothing but good to them? Where is their compassion?  (The ones with broken character)

If you want others to be happy, be compassionate. If you want to be happy, be compassionate. If you want to be respected, respect others. If people still don’t respect you, learn to respect yourself.

  Dependable and trustworthy Everyone’s been disappointed. Have you ever met someone who you can say upfront “I doubt she does really come Friday night”, “he’s always lying”, and “I don’t think they even care about anyone but themselves”. Dependability is crucial. Trust is everything. People should be able to depend on you in a certain way. You should be trustworthy.

So many people are there for others but the same people aren’t there for us in return.

Some people are closed books and never let you in; even if you’ve told them everything about you (This hurts). Some people are open books and you know all their secrets, but they know nothing about you. (This hurts). Some people don’t like who they are, but don’t do anything about it. Some people are uncomfortable with compromise or confrontation so they end situations without solutions. (The ones with broken character)

If I make a promise, I will keep my promise... because I know how it feels.

Some people break promises a lot. Some people won’t even make a promise because they don’t want to put in any effort or be blamed for breaking a promise they know they won’t keep (this hurts). Some people say they will be there, but never show (this hurts). Some people get you excited to be a part of something but the plans fail (this hurts). And you better believe these people always have an excuse. (The ones with broken character)

If you feel like you are always letting people down, have integrity.

If you feel like you can’t trust anyone, maybe you need to learn how to trust yourself.

If there are things you don't like about yourself, work on fixing them.

“A true test of character isn’t how you are on your BEST days, but how you act on your WORST days.”

P.S. I wrote this because the most important thing in life isn’t money, isn’t a career, isn’t how flawless your face or body is. The most important thing in life is happiness within. You can’t truly be happy until you are genuinely proud of who you are inside. You will spend forever reaching for happiness, if you don’t start with your soul.

Written by: Breonna Granto

[mychocolateroses]

I need you inspired, I need you excited

I’ve never considered myself alone or lacking purpose.  Yet, I always find myself craving what can add more value to my life. I don’t need to be completed; or more-filled like a vase with open space between its flowers. I crave something that gives meaning but already holds its own weight; like how petals overlap & become a rose. “Loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself.” But if you’ve mastered this concept, and still crave more… here we are.

Life isn’t always easy, you live and you learn. But even when you ace a test… after time spent not practicing the answers; your memory still needs refreshed. This is a good reason why it’s important to talk to God every day. But sometimes we still lose track and get caught up in other things and that’s okay. I have to remind myself all the time that I have everything I need already. My family and friends, God, the ability to recreate happiness every time I start to feel down, the ability to trust that nothing is more powerful than I say it is. Everything we need is right there in front of us.

But I still crave more. I think its love; I think I will always crave love until I’ve found my soulmate. I don’t know what it is, my soul is always hungry. We don’t crave this love because were alone we crave love because love is everything. It’s like when you think about all the love you’ve put out in the world, all the advice and constructive criticism you’ve given to your friends and family `out of love`. All of the pain and emotions we fight to keep a positive mind and healthy heart. All the power and confidence you want the people you love to feel because every one of them deserves it. Even, all the time we spend trying to be there for people who don’t value or appreciate us.

We can start to wonder where is all that love in return.

Now, don’t take this the wrong way, this isn’t a post for you to pity me or yourself… I know I am blessed.  And if you don’t see that you are blessed too, listen to me when I tell you that you are. Life can be tough but to wake up every day is a blessing. To be able to start over every day is a blessing. To be able to forgive and continue to grow and get better is a blessing. A friend being there for you when you don’t even know you need them is a blessing. When a family member supports you even when you don’t realize you are fragile, this is a blessing. I am grateful for everything I have, because I am blessed, and so are you.

But even when I mastered this too; I still craved love. Another reminder that the love I crave isn’t a love that completes me.  A love that I crave is a love that compliments me and adds value to my life because we are better when we are appreciated and we feel better when we have someone to take weight off of our shoulders. Not someone who creates distress and pain. I sit here and say all of this because even when we think we are educated enough, and even when we believe we have learned life’s toughest lessons… until we find the love we are craving… we are always right here wondering where all that love is that we give. And if we stay inspired and stay excited, it will help us be patient. One day someone will give us all the love we so freely give. One day someone will show us that love isn’t a craving we will always have but that it’s a desire to be loved how we love others. We will one day be satisfied. It’s not that we pitied ourselves and thought we weren’t blessed but it’s that we all go through times where we are confused, unfocused and wonder how we can still crave love when we have all this love inside of us.

Written by: Breonna Granto