#but I won't because I am an adult
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Faye and Silque leveling up by standing in the corner and healing each other. That, too, is Yuri.
#I could say something nasty about this#but I won't because I am an adult#I really want warp and rescue#and nos fucking sucks in these games#actually just awful#fire emblem#fe15#fire emblem echoes#faye fire emblem#fe silque
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"proship dni" this, "comship dni" that, "neutral dni" unfortunately the people you don't like are still human and deserve comfort. my fucking god shut the hell up you're just as annoying as they are and protest WAY too much about it. go unlearn your purity morality shit
#i dont even KNOW what comship means man#but im so tired of reading every instance of this under the sun with every post about selfshipping#like you realize a good CHUNK of the selfshipping community is going to BE them because they're already otherwise normally ostracized from#their communities for other reasons including being neurodivergent.#they deserve comfort too good lord shut the fuck up with the holier-than-thou “i'm better than you” attitude you're really fucking not and#frankly i'm more suspicious of people like you having something to hide about what they like and dislike#i'm neither pro nor anti nor neutral i'm just a human fucking being that stopped giving a shit about stuff that truly does not matter and#won't affect me in the long run. i'm an adult with more serious things to worry about.#it's like seeing the damn “dni” banners everywhere You Are Annoying.#also it's not like i like anything particularly 'heinous' anyways or pedophilic and i shouldn't need to clarify this but apparently i do!#i'm just sick of this purity culture bullshit i REALLY am#whether u want to hear this or not it is queerphobic and ableist. do u understand? cool.#proship#comship#f/o#selfship#selfshipping
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Every time my neighbours blast their selection of really bad music from 10 pm to 5 am I become a war criminal in my mind. Maybe in the future tumblr will have a feature that allows someone like op to judge me at the Thought Hague.
Man, if my neighbors blasted their selection of really good music at 2AM, I'd still be thinking shit that would land me in the gallows next to you at Crimethink Nuremberg.
#this is why i do not EVER EVER fuck with ''are you mad at me? 🥺'' people#it's a rhetorical question because they can't even handle if you're mildly irritated#i say this as someone who grew up with a parent that was always angry and often very cruel#having other adults in my life get kinda pissed at me and shrug it off was important#it demonstrated that for most people anger came in degrees and was morally neutral unless it was weaponized#if you're trying to create spaces for kids and teenagers to safely express anger you can't tell adults it's a cop who lives in their head#maybe this is only clear to me because i grew out my backbone and am immune to the christian brainrot that precipitates this shit#but like. 🥺👉👈 isn't an immutable trait. you do in fact have to try to accept that people won't like antisocial things you do#if you're going to be a dick and blast music late enjoy that shit instead of trying to guilt people into liking you#assbox#anonymous
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Cos I saw someone 'defending' their misuse of the dollblr tag after receiving an ask about it because 'other people do it' - this is why it's a fucking problem in the first place. It is against TOS. It is unrelated to your post, it is spam, and don't be surprised if everything you post gets reported.
Just because other people spam the tag too, doesn't magically excempt it from TOS or user guidelines. Like at this point I am straight up breaking this down to bare bones website operation here, what's so hard to understand? It's shit like this that literally degrades website quality because as you spread your crap over multiple tags that are accumulating like a goddamn snowball, people stop actually using those tags for the topic they were meant for. People stop posting. People leave. Welcome to dead internet.
It doesn't matter if you see other people doing it, rules are rules. There is a reason WHY tag spam is against the rules and that's to keep a website useable. Actual Dollbr-bloggers? Keep reporting guys.
#dollblr cleanup crew#dollblr#i was serious when i said I wake up every morning to pressure hose down tags#also the irony of them claiming people politely asking them to stop are narcissists#my dude ... please look up the definition of narcissistic#'I see what you're saying but actually I'm more important because excuse that doesn't make sense because it's against TOS anyway'#fandom discourse#you're just as bad as pornbots#i am old. i have watched the rise and fall of multiple social media platforms. i have watched the marching progression of enshittification#tumblr is the only social media that doesn't actually make my mental health worse and i will die on this hill#i won't let bad actors ruin everyone else's experience or mine#yeah i could have said this to them directly but 1. I am not the type to do targeted de-anonmyised callouts#2. conscious of the fact a lot of these coquette posters are literally half my age (15) and are minors#2.5 sidenote jesus christ please find a bettee niche than yeeting all your autonomy to men and glorifying your mental illness#your adult self will thank you#3. looking at current replies they got big 'lalala not listening' energy and having my own post means it is unavoidable and not eraseable
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to that anon I got about my last posts: if you're hurt that I'm talking about antisemitism on tumblr rather than the Israel/Palestine conflict itself then you're going to have to make your peace with a star wars blog not being an effective platform for activism.
This is the point I've been trying to hammer home perfectly illustrated. I deviated ever so slightly from what's allowed on the subject to say that I can't participate in this website's idea of 'raising awareness' (distributing real facts and misinfo alike without a care and being a bunch of fanatic Jew haters in the process) and that I don't think I'm able to critically and accurately examine every piece of news that gets passed around here, and you're taking this to assume I don't care. So no, I'm not going to spend my time trying to prove that I do care to that particular crowd.
You're upset with me for not treating this like I did fandom and assuming I value fictional characters more than real people because of it, but it's precisely because this is infinitely more important that I'm not going to be doing real people the disrespect of giving my two cents on their suffering and deaths on the same platform I did STAR WARS.
#You don't know how I feel about the conflict and you can't claim to know#Because I made a point of not getting into it#I have tons of things I'd say and that I'm not saying#precisely because a bunch of sheltered western young adults (which I am) thinking they HAVE to speak out#about things they're primarily exposed to on social media#is how we ended up where we're at on this website#and by the way 'antisemitism is wrong' stands on its own and i don't need to say more no matter the context#and I won't be lectured about how I need to care about innocent people suffering and dying by a website full of raging antisemites#you were never upset about me shutting up on the war for months until I mentioned antisemitism and suddenly my not speaking out is wrong#why do you only care about my silence now and not before?#and why do you take me so seriously that my stepping away is a matter of great disappointment to you?
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Something I think ought to be more readily-available and encouraged is simply... taking parental classes. I wish it were more common for people to realize just how hard - and important - parenting is, and indeed, that we all could use help with taking care of young folk. It's really alarming that popular opinion is still that parental classes are only for the "fuck-up" parents, or the parents who utterly failed. It should be seen as a good thing to take parental classes - especially on your own volition. It should be seen as imperative for one to take them, it should be a free, accurate, and scheduled occurrence so that people of any background are able to attend.
#politics#parenting#i might have posted something like this before but who knows. certainly not me (the blogger)#of course some cities and states in the USA for instance will have programs like this but it's not.. across the board from what i understand#my city has a few free parenting classes for really any parent and i am really happy to hear that#my dad talks about the classes he took and most of them are geared toward fathers (the classes he takes). i think that's a great thing#i wish that was more common when i was a kid. when i'm older you bet i'm taking advantage of parenting classes <3#even if i have no children i won't be child-free unless i live in isolation. i want to treat them well#i would be devastated if a kid were to have a horrible experience around me because i was an asshole or i was uncompassionate or ignorant#the overall message i got as a kid was that parenting classes were a punishment for the fuck-up parents and THAT is fucked up to me#the idea that parenting is simultaneously natural AND that you're Always Correct and Never Wrong is dangerous at best#like i bet my abuser thought they were a good adult to me and that i was just a fucked-up *child*
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ngl every time I see fully grown adult griffons in the joplin art I hate Assan a little bit more. why on earth is he not fully grown yet. It's been eight years.
The Last Flight happens in 9:41 and Veilguard is in 9:53 -> so that's actually 12 years between when they hatched till DATV starts...how the fuck did griffons ever manage to survive as a species if they're babies for that long?
(doesn't seem like its a good sign for repopulating the griffons if it takes a couple of decades for maturity? That's a lot of time for shit to happen to them in the meantime - babies are vulnerable!)
Scratch that, how did they even survive with Isseya? Did she feed them normal unblighted griffon food? Is there a Pet Smart store around the corner where she goes to get food for them as she plans to have them undergo the joining once more? So many questions about how the hell they actually lived with her for so long...
I admit I was pretty skeptical playing the game that the griffons would even be alive - obviously you want a chance to save them, but I think the game hurt itself by spreading out companion quests in bits and pieces, and after certain main missions were done. Like, it's been a year (?) since the beginning of the game? That's a lot of time for a bunch of little bird-cats to be alone with a crazy blighted elf. :(
Most likely answer: baby griffons make cute little sidekicks + smaller model/animations to deal with + there's no logical reason to explain how Isseya would be able to confine a dozen angry teenage cat-birds.
Respectfully, I personally disagree with having the word 'hate' and 'Assan' in the same sentence lmao. I loved my bird-cat son <3 (but, yeah, he should probably be a big boy by this point)
(Assan is not a 'baby' baby - but he's super young for a griffon? Way too young for maturity to be 'just around the corner', you know?)
Me to Assan:
#asks <3#thanks for the ask! <3#patting Assan was the only way I was able to endure so many therapy talks with the companions - my emotional support griffon#i'm a certified cat lady - so i am admittedly very biased towards anything like a cat -> it's why I romanced anders in DA2 lmao#isseya gets her blighted wardens to build a pet smart in blighted weisshaupt#won't lie - I was distracted by 'cute cat-bird' for most of the game until the end#when i realized at the very end - you are very tiny for being alive so long#can't recall if there's ever any in-depth detail about griffon growth/maturity rate?#but there used to be a hell of a lot of them before they were all blighted - so one would assume that grew up relatively quickly#since babies are way more vulnerable?#assan is pretty strong for a little guy -> but only as a little guy who helps out occasionally#even davrin tells assan to stay the fuck away from big fights - which is both 'I love my bird-cat son' and 'YOU ARE SMALL AND THEY ARE BIG'#same vibe as telling a cat to not 'EAT THE TRASH I HAVEN'T SWEPT IT UP YET - IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU'#davrin was the one companion I didn't dread to talk to because the man was mature and acted like an adult - reason I romanced him too
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HP Rants: Things Fandom Gets WRONG
The Dark Mark (tattoo)
where oh where is the reading comprehension??? did y’all really not read any of GoF??? not only does the minister of fucking magic not know about the Dark Mark tattoos, as snape has to explain and show it to him (which just ????? astounding incompetence from the ministry of goddamn magic and the wizarding world at large) but sirius literally says in response to the kiddos telling him that Karkaroff showed snape something on his arm, “'He showed Snape something on his arm?' said Sirius, looking frankly bewildered...'Well, I’ve no idea what that’s about." despite the fact that he KNOWS for a fact karkaroff was a death eater. (and his own goddamn brother was a death eater. And his family was super pro-voldemort).
The whole fucking point is that no one knew.
Otherwise it would have been obvious who was and who wasn’t death eaters, or at least, inner-circle death eaters. Sirius would not have gone to Azkaban. The Malfoys and literally every other free death eater would have.. but this didn’t happen because the wizarding world is complete shit at handling things and disseminating EXTREMELY IMPORTANT information.. that’s the whole fucking point.
#every time i see a fic say that regulus “took the mark”#or that sirius' parents wanted to make him “get the mark”#i want to scream in rage#and i immediately close the fic no questions asked#and then have to take at least 5 minutes of deep breaths to calm myself down and remind myself people are allowed to be wrong#i can be mature and let them be wrong#i am a mature adult and can let them be wrong#i don't need to start a fight because i am a mature adult and i can just let them be wrong it won't kill me#but seriously#why the FUCK is everyone so fucking wrong#ALL THE FUCKING TIME#WHERE or where is the fucking reading comprehension????#salty hp rant#hp rant#hp meta#harry potter#sirius black#dark mark#salty hp takes#marauders#harry potter meta#i hate being the only correct person in this fandom#lmfao#god please help there is no reading comprehension in this fandom#it is so diseased and sick#marauders fandom#literally the fucking worst
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person supposed to be moving in this week has not signed the lease or told me when they plan to get here. old housemate keeps loudly moving stuff out at like 10pm on week nights. new housemate has various slightly inconsiderate habits that are kind of driving me insane. other housemate acts like he's the only person on earth who might have stuff going on while he continues to not pay rent. I'm going to light this house on fire
#FOR LEGAL REASONS THIS IS A JOKE.#just sooooo tired of it all we are all adults can we act like adults please.#I'm trying to be so understanding of the person who is supposed to be moving in#because they've been very nice and they had a medical situation going on recently#but it is the 31st in. one hour#and they have yet to sign the lease#and I am like. PLEASE. please please it takes two seconds please#and the other new housemate has moved in already keeps doing things that I'm like#have you ever lived with another human being before. like do you know how a house works.#and my other housemate keeps doing this weird guilttripping shit that I just won't put up with#I just won't do it#while also like talking about buying random shit when we Just almost got evicted because he didn't pay rent#I cannotttttt be the youngest but most mature. we fucking hate to see it#maybe its just because of my various life experiences but I cannot stand a bitch who does not take housing seriously#girl I cannot be homeless. pull yourself the fuck together#this is supposed to be a symbiotic relationship!!!! please can we all work together. please#and I guess some of this is my fault for not communicating about certain things#but I'm like I feel like I shouldn't have to tell a grown adult to pay rent instead of buying cowboy boots#or to not leave their dirty clothes on the bathroom floor#or not not move out RIGHT NOW AT 11PM ON A MONDAY.#like I wont pretend I'm the perfect housemate but you know what. at least I don't pretend like I'm the perfect housemate#while being insufferable#ghost posts#text
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Every time I draw Mamagi it does AoE damage (I am also in the area of effect)
Lighthearted bonus:
#enstars#hiiro amagi#rinne amagi#i don't know if this is a bad time to be amagi-posting given that hiiro's fs2 just dropped but. oh well#also this might be the last thing i draw for a bit because i am in the final stretch of this semester#if you sent in a request. i will get to it and thank you for your patience#anyways i know i'm kinda being like 'haha rinne mama's boy' which like. yeah but also sometimes--#--sometimes you're an adult in their 20s and like. yeah sure you're technically an adult or whatever but you still feel like a kid yeah?#and sometimes you just maybe want your mom to help you when you're lost or confused or when you need someone to tell you it'll be okay#but you won't get that for whatever reason#sincerely: an adult in their 20s#....can you tell why rinne is like. a vibe to me now#anyways i'm not saying mamagi dying was a necessary evil but if hiiro and rinne had an adult who actually loved them at home they probably-#-wouldn't have left and we wouldn't have the main story#if she was alive today tho she'd be going to their lives sorry i don't make the rules (yes i do)#if she ends up being exactly like the rest of their village in some future lore i'm gonna be so sad.#she'd throw hands with niki's parents#imagine leaving your sons behind because you straight up died (couldn't really do anything about that)#meanwhile your son's boyfriend's parents just. up and left him because they could#also posts with her will be tagged mamagi#if you read all that <3#mamagi#she'd adopt all the bees and alkaloid too#imagine if they got their singing skills from her#also mamagi 1 rinniki shipper (also does not care it's not legal)#rinniki
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one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
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actually going to start freaking tf out about the AI "fanart" someone posted in the DD&D discord server. I retain my composure.
#I AM NOT GOING TO GO INSANE OVER THIS. I WON'T BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE ARE MATURE ADULTS WHO JUST DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER#IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL
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I really love your pink and blue comic
(just finished watched poketom dubbed it)
But I have a question a few questions
Is the comic going to continue?
When is the next chapter/pages
Love your artwork keep up
First off, thanks for enjoying it! Poketom did a great job dubbing it (specially as time went on) and, as I've said previous times, you should support and be nice to him, he's a genuinely nice guy!
Second, and something I need to leave clear on here too (not just my DA), the comic is on hold for now as I:
1- Manage my college time, and soon enough my working time as well, not only because I am having more responsabilities and not a lot of free time now, nut because I also am starting to care for the story 15 yo me was trying to write as I am now properly scripting pages, revamping character redesigns, and all of that. And
2- Have been getting so overwhelmed by people asking me to continue it almost every. single. day, that I´ve honestly just decided to focus on new proyects that come up and giving this one a rest for now. That and I also want to be recognized as more than "That cringy OC JSaB comic" woman and not be harassed by it (fair, it's not as bad as before, but it's still tiring considering everything going around in my life/country).
#yeah#let's just say it's all getting to me#no hate to those who are just genuinely curious#i get it#i am like that too#but as you grow up you realize people have lives#and adulting is difficult#so yeah#better to take it slow and not overwork yourself#also because i want to write/draw stories with more weight to them because of my own healing mental health#and also just focus on other things that i have in mind#*coughs*#*looks at all the unfinished art of my Evangelion KinitoPET and soon to be revamped Kirby AUs*#*cough*#that's not to say I'll leave jsab entirely#but i won't be posting as much#maybe mini comics here and there#but... yeah#hope you all understand#reply#reply post#watchy talks
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*said with increasing distress, eyes blodshot and an empty mug in hand* you guys remember writing right????? you guys remember posting fic and publishing things and talking to editors about potential projects right???? you guys remember being creative in your creative jobs and not just rereading old work and having a panic attack over the time wasted over curating hyperspecific character playlists that you get mad about five minutes later right????? i'm not insane right????? creative block is normal even if it lasts for months right???? i haven't written a fic in YEARS but it's ok i'm ok i have to finish TWO original pieces for next week that I haven't even started but it'll probably be fineeeee I'm totally not being a complete and raving lunatic about it it's probably gonna be okay <3 yay <3
#AND I STILL HAVEN'T APPLIED FOR MY NEW SHOW IN THEATRES ?1!!!!???? AJAAGAGAHAHAHFGH#BABYGIRL I CAN BE DRY IN WAYS YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE FOR PROJECTS THAT ARE ALREADY EVEN PLANNED OUT#the words just won't come out idk#ok so i attended one of the most prestigious universities in the country re: my field of expertise and carefully improved in my craft#just to go into a creative field and be an unemployed fuckhead who won't even write#i mean I am ALSO an academic that is very much true as well. but you don't really earn money from that either now do you#especially not in humanities#anyway. i need to go wash some dishes#it'll be fine probably i just need to lock tf in#it sucks being the one in the relationship that has no job no money no prospects and is already a burden to their parents#like literally they're being very nasty about it and like i know they care about me and stuff but they are very much. not supportive#it doesn't mean they're openly hating on it tbh i think they've given up on trying to disagree with my life choices and atp they just judge#when i'm not there. but evidently i find out anyway because of course i do#tbh won't complain about the lack of open support though like it's cool you disapprove of my relationship and my work and my life overall#ok rant over i'm big now. i'm an adult#ACTUALLY should i write a paper on disco elysium maybe that'd cheer me up. DON'T ask me how de is cheerful it isn't#my brain just works in mysterious ways#also gonna write an essay on my relationship with god. and get it published. probably gonna quote dostoievski a couple times as well. maybe#who give a fuck anymore man people these days can write ANYTHING. i love being alive in a world where printing is a thing. also computers#personal
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random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently
#mar.txt#it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one#maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get#maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important.#maybe it's just the all-consuming,gaping hole of loneliness within me#idk.#i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it#feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction#a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro,but willing to be in a relationship provided the other#person isn't bothered by them being aro,bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings#i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the#only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of#actually caring#'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things#because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they#could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting)#and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends#the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to#me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance#i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad.#to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much.#i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's#most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love,yeah? ha.#maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships,#those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have.#anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the#burden of feeling such intense,suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly.#i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.
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siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
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