#but I won’t because I’m scared of people

[writinganon1]

OCD in the simplest form is believing really and truly that you are a horrible person and want to do unspeakable things to others and sometimes yourself. ( at least for me.) OCD is being so scared to mess up because of you do then every thing you thought might actually be true. It’s irrational, believe me I know. It makes me unbelievably awkward during any interaction, and I’m a little too aware that it does

No, OCD and many other disorders can’t be romanticized because they aren’t pretty. They’re legitimately terrifying for the sufferer.

It pisses me off so much when people are like “oH yOu HaVe OCD? iT mUsT bE sO nIcE fOr YoUr pArTnEr To Be WiTh SoMeOnE wHo ClEaNs AlL tHe TiMe!

No babe i actually won’t leave the house unless you’re with me so you can make sure I don’t accidentally assault someone lol. Actually, I don’t have a partner because I’m so scared of that, that I don’t have a partner 😁

Been doin a lot of ranting lately sorry guys

[emsdevs]

I’m a sucker for Angst, so a heaviest of heavy Angst will always do it for me, like I need my insides to feel like it’s being stabbed and overwhelmed with all sort of emotions. Bonus point if it’s long. Hope this isn’t too much to ask for maybe I’m getting too carried away loll Could you do it with Justin Herbert please?

No Strings?

a/n: nonnie you sent this at the perfect time! I've had justin on my schedule for a while, but couldn't figure out what to write for him, so this worked out perfectly! this does not have a happy ending but i might be open to a part two if enough people want it. enjoyyyy :)

masterlist | NFL Masterlists | Justin Herbert Masterlist

You swore you could handle casual. When you started whatever you had going on with Justin, you swore you were the kind of person who could have a casual relationship, but now you aren’t so sure. When Justin asked you out four months ago, you never would’ve expected to be where you are now. It had all been going so well. The dates had been everything you could’ve asked for and more, and Justin was the perfect gentleman. It all began to go downhill after your third date. You had invited Justin into your apartment when he dropped you off, your intentions clear, and he had followed you inside. You two had been sitting on the couch when things began to get serious, the kiss you were sharing heating up.

Justin pulled away, looking slightly guilty. “I feel like I need to be honest with you about something before this goes any further.”

“Um, yeah, okay,” you were a little confused, but you let him speak.

“Look, because of the job I have, I really can’t do anything serious right now. I know I’ve probably led you on a little bit, but I swear I’ve never had any intentions to hurt you,” he stared at you, looking nervous.

“That’s okay!” you speak up too quickly for your liking. “We don’t have to stop unless that’s what you want. I can do casual.” Surely, you could. It couldn’t be that different from a normal relationship.

“You sure? I don’t wanna overstep if casual isn’t something you’re comfortable with.”

“Yeah, of course. No strings attached. Just having fun.”

As Justin leaned back in, you were thinking that this could definitely work. Justin was great, and this would keep him in your life without overstepping any boundaries. You could do casual.

~~

Turns out, you can’t do casual. You’ve been trying to stay normal, but you realized two days ago that you were falling for Justin, hard. You’d been keeping it to yourself, not wanting to scare him away, but it’s getting more and more difficult. He’s just so sweet, and the things he tends to do for you simply cannot be casual.

Is it casual when he plays with the ends of your hair before you get out of bed in the morning? Is it casual for him, even though he keeps all your favorite snacks at his place for when you have movie nights? If it’s casual, why does he keep a drawer free so you have space to keep a few clothes at his place? If it’s casual, why does he know you better than you know yourself? Why has he gotten you your favorite flowers every two weeks since you went on that first date with him? Why does he know “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” is the perfect movie to cheer you up after a long day? If it’s casual for him, why is he acting like he’s in love with you?

Eventually, it had gotten to a point where you couldn’t stand lying to him or yourself anymore. After four months of no strings, you had to talk to him. You finally got the chance one night when he invited you over for a movie night. Before the movie got started, you decided it was time to break the news.

“Justin… I actually think we need to talk,” you wiped your hands on your pants, feeling them already starting to sweat from the nerves.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“I just really need to say this, and I know you probably won’t like it, but I need you to listen until I finish,” you pause, waiting for him to nod. “Okay, so, I just feel like we’ve definitely crossed some lines in this arrangement, ya know? Like we both have a drawer at each other’s places. We’re spending the night together, and sometimes, we hang out without even having sex. I just… this isn’t what we originally agreed to,” you were avoiding saying what you were truly feeling.

“So we’ll step back some? I don’t know. That doesn’t seem like something to be worried abou-”

“I caught feelings for you, Justin,” he just stares at you, shocked, “I know we said no feelings, but we’ve just gotten a little too close. We don’t have to stop or anything. I’m a big girl. I can handle-”

“No. No, we should stop,” he cuts you off, and it’s your turn to stare.

“Seriously?”

“We said no strings. I told you I can’t do relationships because of my job. If you have feelings for me, this needs to stop now before it can get worse.”

“Right,” you stood robotically, grabbing your things and walking out of Justin’s house with tears in your eyes. The worst part? He didn’t even try to stop you. Somehow, with one sentence, you ruined something that could’ve been so good for you, that had been so good for you.

~~

Now, it had been three months since that night, and you hadn’t spoken to Justin since. You’ve been going through the motions, just doing a fairly normal routine to make it through your day. You wake up, get dressed, go home, shower, cry while you eat your sorrows away, sleep, and then do it all again the next day. Nothing has felt right since your breakup with Justin, if that’s what you would even call. How can you break up with someone you were never really dating. 

You’ve found your confidence to be much lower recently, too. You couldn’t count the amount of time you’ve wondered where you went wrong. Why did you have to tell him? Why would he not even try? Why didn’t he follow you? Today, you found the answer.

You had decided that a day out would do you some good, so since you had the day off, you got dressed and walked around the city. You were about to go into one of your favorite coffee shops, one that you had brought Justin to many times. As you neared the door, you caught a glimpse of something that shattered your heart in a second. There sat Justin across from some girl you’ve never seen, looking too close to just be friends. You watched as she stood, kissing his cheek before she wandered off to the bathroom. A bright smile made its way onto Justin’s face, a smile you had never managed to bring out of him. With your heart broken all over again, you made your way to a close friend’s place. It was closer than yours, and you knew you didn’t want to be alone right now.

He had told you he couldn’t be in a relationship, but what he really meant was that he couldn’t be in a relationship with you. The questions began to set in again. Were you not pretty enough? Not popular enough? Did he need someone in the same tax bracket as him? Did he really just not like you? Did he think you weren’t good enough for him? Was he lying the entire time, every time he told you how special you were to him

Even with all the questions you had, you knew two things for sure. You were done with Justin Herbert, and you definitely could not do casual.

taglist: @heartsforjh @irishmanwhore @heartforherbert @jusaints @one-sweet-gubler

join the taglist

[vitevii]

Stobotnik Role Swap AU

Been thinking through a Stobotnik role swap AU, trying to figure out their dynamic and what would change or stay the same. I think I finally settled on something I like and have a lot of thoughts about- Stone and Robotnik are still an agent and a brilliant scientist respectively, but the hierarchy of their relationship is flipped with Stone being the ‘boss’ and Robotnik as the ‘henchman’.

Thoughts:

Stone (before the movies and during what would be movie 1) is a highly-decorated & respected shadow ops and/or special ops agent

He rose through the ranks thanks to his many varied talents, tactical brilliance, and his dedication to & success in completing his missions no matter what stands in his way

Robotnik is the shadow ops Break-Glass-in-Case-of-Emergency scientist. He’s called on when nobody else can get the job done, but they try not to give him any more funding or resources than necessary bc they’re scared of his eccentricity, antisocial nature, and sheer brilliance

Robotnik gets promoted to being directly under Stone’s command at Stone’s request - I’m thinking either bc Stone is assigned to investigate the Sonic EMP from movie 1 (he has to intimidate/persuade the military generals to let him take a chance on Robotnik, a little like Walters did in movie 1) or because pre-movies Stone decides he needs a scientist to join his team permanently for ease of access to customized tech or something

If it’s the second option, Stone goes to Robotnik with a test task to see if he’s good enough (he actually wants to see how Robotnik operates, but also does want to make sure the rumors of Ivo’s brilliance are true). Robotnik does his thing, Stone is speechless and amazed by the results. Stone decides then and there he HAS to have Ivo at his side. ('Doctor... this is... you're incredible.' 'Of course I am. That's why you're here.')

Also, whenever they first meet, Robotnik goes off on a rant or insults Stone, and Stone is taken aback (and delighted) by how Robotnik isn’t scared of him- Stone’s gotten bored of people being too easily intimidated by his status and reputation.. even if that is useful oftentimes

Stone secretly and maybe only subconsciously wants someone in his life who he can drop the formalities with, someone who doesn’t care about his rank and career and past

Ivo realizes (but won’t admit) he is grateful to Stone for giving him a more of a chance to be himself and to finally have the resources to work towards his robot dreams

This first post is mostly about their backgrounds and how they met. I've got a bunch more thoughts I'm organizing and will post soon with same tags as this post

Also might write fic or make some art for this..

[solxamber]

Hi! Trey, romantic, Casual by Chappell Roan:)

"Is it casual now?" || Trey Clover

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: Casual by Chappell Roan

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 730

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Suggestive Content, Casual to serious relationship, Happy Ending

Trey doesn’t know what to do with you.

His friends say he should walk away. Riddle tells him he's being reckless. Cater tells him to live a little, but not this much. Even Ace, of all people, warns him not to get too attached.

"They’re just playing with you, Trey. You’re a good guy, but you’re not special to them. Something fun to pass the time."

He knows they’re right.

But when you text him at midnight, he still picks up his phone. When you tug him into your room, he still lets you push him against the wall.

When your hands are in his hair and your lips are on his neck, he still groans and gives you everything you want.

He knows how this ends.

You’ll tease him, take what you need, and then you’ll leave. And yet—

When you press against him in the dark, breath hot against his ear, when you whisper “You’re so good to me, Trey,”—he still hopes.

And he hates himself for it.

He should be stronger than this.

But every time he’s with you, his resolve cracks like fragile glass.

Because you never stay away for long.

You let him hold you after, even when you say this isn’t serious. You let him touch you, let his fingers linger, let him pull you back for one last kiss, then another, and another.

You tell him not to get attached, and then you slip your hands under his shirt, run your nails down his back, and he groans into your mouth.

You make it impossible for him to let go.

And god, he wants to let go.

Because you don’t belong to him. You never have.

But his shirts are still in your room. Your scent lingers on his skin. Your toothbrush sits next to his in the bathroom, and when he finds your favorite ring in his pocket one day, he swears he’s losing his mind.

He tries to be casual, too. He tries to play the same game.

But he still wakes up wanting more.

He wants to wake up with you in his arms, your legs tangled with his, your breath warm against his collarbone.

He wants you to drag him to brunch and introduce him as your boyfriend, wants to hear you say it like you mean it.

He wants lazy Sundays with you, wants you curled against his chest on the couch, wants to kiss you slow and deep without thinking it might be the last time.

Most of all, he wants you to want him back.

But he can’t pine alone forever.

So tonight, he’s ending this.

You’re draped over him, body warm and pliant, your fingers still tracing over his chest, teasing, tempting. You’re smiling like you know you have him wrapped around your finger. Like you know he won’t say no.

But tonight, you’re wrong.

“This is the last time,” Trey says, voice low and rough.

You pause, blinking up at him. “What?”

He exhales sharply, raking a hand through his messy hair. “I can’t do this anymore. Not if you don’t want something real.”

You stare at him. And then you shift, pressing your bare leg between his, your lips ghosting over his throat, the way you always do when you don’t want to answer a question. “Trey—”

“No.” His fingers grip your waist, holding you still. “Not this time. If I’m just a game to you, tell me now, and I’ll walk away.”

You don’t speak for a long moment.

Then, finally, quietly—

“…What if I don’t want you to?”

Trey stills. His breath catches. “What?”

Your fingers tighten around his arm, holding onto him like you’re scared he’ll slip away. “What if I want more?” You swallow hard. “What if I don’t want this to be casual anymore?”

His head is spinning. His heart is pounding so loudly, he swears you can hear it. “Say it again.”

“…I want you.”

And Trey breaks.

He kisses you, deep and hungry, pressing you down into the sheets, pouring everything he’s been holding back into you. His hands map over your skin, like he’s trying to memorize every inch of you, like he finally, finally has permission to love you.

Like he never wants to be casual with you ever again.

Masterlist ; Valentine's Event

[quokkaholic]

Confession and Cuffs s.c

Warnings/tags: suggestive fluff, cop hate lol, cussing duh, y/n aggressively flirty low key would be harassment irl. Lightly edited

Synopsis: You are a notorious criminal that is very familiar with your local police force. Detained on a faulty warrant and interrogated for hours, you give them nothing but sass and harsh criticism. That is, until you meet Detective Seo.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

You remain in the same sterile interrogation room you have been in for hours, stainless steel chair bruising your tailbone and digging into your spine. With an adjustable lamp clamped to the edge of the table turned off, the lighting is dim but you can still see the reflective surface of the one way glass opposite you. Even though you are alone, and have been for a while, there is no mistaking the feeling of eyes on you monitoring and examining your every move, every breath, every blink. You feel like it has been at least an hour since the last officer was in here with you demanding a confession to a crime you, for once, didn’t commit; even if you had, you’d never spill your guts to them. The only reason you are here now, is they arrested you under the guise of a warrant out for not paying a speeding ticket you received years ago as a teen. You know for a fact you paid it and got it expunged from your record, but it was so long ago you no longer have proof of the transaction. On top of that, it's a Friday night so the records department won’t be up and running again until Monday. These pigs orchestrated the whole thing to get you in their custody, and you aren’t even the perpetrator in this case.

Since your arrest, it has been a revolving door of officers trying different tactics on you. They’ve made offers of food and lenient sentencing. Tried to coerce you to sell out your compatriots. The last guy practically just screamed at you for half an hour, voice screeching and droplets of spit flying from his red hot face, trying to scare out a confession, but all you could do was laugh. He must be new, you thought, despite being a criminal, you have gotten to know and are on decent terms with a lot of the more reasonable officers. After having to release you on the grounds of no evidence countless times, many of them have accepted that your actions tend to only harm other members of the seedy underbelly of the city.

That is the case for most of the force, but obviously not the next officer that walks in. You can tell by his demeanor that he is going for bad cop as he saunters in with an expression of disgust and accusation when he looks your way. He avoids eye contact, maybe because he wants you to feel lowly and beneath him, but it's more likely he knows you will see through his ruse if he lets you meet his gaze.

“We know it was you” he spits flipping through a folder labeled evidence that is without a doubt filled with blank pages. While you usually give ambiguous answers or simply remain silent, you’re over messing with the investigators at this point,

“Hmmm no you dont” you hum out matter of factly

“Quiet! We’ve got you this time,” he must be really committed to the bit, raising his voice and ordering you around.

“Really? What dirt do you have on me? Go on. I wanna see.”

“It's in the evidence storage for the night,”

“You don’t have photos in that conveniently marked folder you've got? If I’ve told you dipshits once, I've told you 100 times,” you pause to squint at the name badge on his chest,

“Skinner, I’m not your guy” shouting back to get the attention of the people that are without a doubt recording, before leaning back in the chair that feels like a bed of nails at this point. Not allowing your discomfort to show, you continue,

“You're a bad liar, Skinner. If you had something real I'd have been arrested for a real charge and not some backhanded bureaucratic nonsense. I’m done talking” your statement punctuated by the crossing of your arms over your chest. The goose bumps on your skin are impossible to ignore; it's a damn icebox in here, another tactic to get you to admit to this crime you played no part in. Despite your refusal to engage, he went on accusing you and shouting garbage before stomping out like a frustrated child.

A while later, you are beginning to doze off with your head resting on the frozen table, but the sound of the locks being opened shakes you from your drowsiness. In walks a hunk not in the typical uniform. He’s got on a white button up that hugs his thick arms so perfectly accentuating his toned form and a black vest over it and pressed black dress pants with a key ring and badge clipped to the belt. You turn to the mirror and attempt the make eye contact with the people on the other side before blurting out,

“Oh so we’re doing sexy cop now? That's new,” before looking back at the man entering the room. He puckers his lips and presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek trying to fight back a smirk while dropping his file on the table across from you.

“I’m Detective Seo. I’ve been assigned to this case, and I just wanted to ask you a few questions” He says with confidence but politely as he pulls out the chair opposite to you and takes a seat.

“You and every other pig in this pen.” You say coldly before allowing your grimace to shift into a cheeky grin, “Don’t worry, I can kid around with them. We’re all close; I practically know them all by name” feigning sincerity in your tone.

“I bet you do” he lets the words slowly fall from his mouth as he mocks you for your seemingly endless unofficial record, opening the thick folder,

“I’ve checked out your file”

“Oooh a fan I assume?” you question, heightening your tone to speak more sweetly staring up at him through your lashes. He looms over you flicking on the table lamp. If he wasn’t so jaw droppingly handsome, you'd be irked by his attempt at asserting dominance over you. You like the look of him above you, but it ends all too soon as he pulls out the chair on the other side of the table and gracefully and controlled lowers himself into the seat drawing your gaze to his muscles straining against the fabric of his button down.

“You could say that,” he mumbles seemingly unimpassioned. His eyes skimming the papers in his hands,

“I can’t lie, I’m impressed. Life long career criminal and not a single conviction”

“I don’t know what this criminal nonsense you speak of is, but you're damn right, my record is as clean as a whistle. Well, I guess until today,” you aren’t trying to maintain an ere of innocence. Everyone here knows what you do for work, and you aren’t oblivious to that, but you’ll be dead before they get audio of some half ass admittance of guilt they can spin and manipulate to finally take you to court.

“We both know this charge is bullshit, and you’ll be set loose on Monday,” he nonchalantly muses and he peers over the top of the papers at you. His warm eyes would be mezmerizing in any other circumstance, but you have to remain sharp.

“You sound sad, babe. We’ll work hard to make the most of the time we have together,” you tease. Leaning forward to rest onto his elbows,

“I know I will,” he assures you then asks,

“So why did you do it?” he asks. You give an exaggerated disappointed huff before answering,

“So so handsome, but unfortunately just as dense as your mates,” clicking your tongue before continuing,

“Just as I told your last goon, and the one before that, and the one before that, and I’ll say it again just for you, babe, I. Didn’t. Do. It.” Holding unblinking eye contact you lean forward closing the distance between you, your voice becomes a cooing whisper as you go on,

“I don’t know how else to put it, love. Why can’t you understand me?” drawing up your eyebrows and slowly shaking your head to convey distress continuing to draw closer to him.

“My name is Detective Seo,” He mutters trying to correct you as he seems to struggle to keep his eyes from drinking in your approaching features.

“Oh I know, baby” whispering for only him to hear.

He has remained strong, not letting your seductress intimidation technique win out over his macho demeanor, but as you near only a foot of nose to nose separation he pushes back not only his upper body but his whole chair from the table causing a smug smile to spread across your features. His slight fluster is impossible to hide due to the pink rising to his cheeks and his lack of grace as he gathers his documents before heading to the door. Soon the feeling of watching eyes fall back over you, and you hope so deeply that they are his.

Despite the painful furniture and frigid temperature the only thing on your mind is Seo. He’s there when you’re awake being grilled by other cops or just staring at the damn wall, and when you get brief moments to rest, he's in your dreams.

You’ve long lost track of time in the windowless room, another way they are trying to disorient you to let your guard down. With some sweet talking, you convince them to allow you to use a private bathroom as opposed to the grimey stalls that the other detainees use. While you are lucky to be affording this luxury, you have ulterior motives. As your escort guides you through the hall passing cubicle after cubicle, you get a glimpse out the window. The light is dim and dusky; it must already be Saturday evening. Your romantic daydreams have done wonders for making time fly by. After a few turns down corridors, you see what you’ve been looking for, not the bathroom, a rich wooden door with a window covered neatly by a curtain, and just to the right a gleaming placard. Detective Seo Changbin. Such a pretty name for such a pretty man. You commit the path to his office to memory for potential future use.

They graciously let you rest for just a bit longer before starting up the interrogations again. Without fail you continue your typical slough of jesting and snarky comments without revealing any semblence of guilt, but unlike usual, there are some requests for the handsome detective sprinkled in. This continues late into the night and you can assume early into Sunday morning.

During a particularly kind session of questions, more like pleading on their part, you had just had a scrumptious meal hand delivered by your favorite officer; you are feeling generous. After some careful deliberation, you decide to throw them a bone but only on your terms.

“Bailey, you know me. You know I work alone and what little evidence you have points to a group of at least two. The fact that you guys won’t drop this line of questioning after hours of getting nowhere is making me question your sanity, lady,” you chide with a mouth full of food.

“I feel bad for you, hon. So bad, in fact, that I want to help you guys. I’ll share…” her face lights up as if what you're about to say will free her from this never ending game.

“But only to Seo” and her giddy face shifts to one of despair before one of determination as she rushes out the door pulling out her phone from her back pocket as the door slams behind her. Not an hour later, the man of your dreams is pushing open the thick door. Equally as confident as last time, but he has ditched the tough guy demeanour for a more flirtatious one to match your own.

“I heard you were begging for me all night” he humors with the corner of his full lips pulling up into a sly smile.

“Oh baby that wasn’t begging, that was negotiating, but I'll beg if that's what you want.”

He moves close, foregoing the chair and sitting on the edge of the table forcing you to tilt your head back to keep the steamy eye contact that makes a heat rise in your stomach. He sends you a wink and opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off,

“Getting you here is only part of my request. I'll help you, but in exchange, I demand a date with you once I’m released”, his sultry look quickly shifts to a genuine smile and red cheeks as he breathily chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief,

“Before you go on about it being unprofessional, this is all just a big misunderstanding on record, babe. Remember, there was simply a glitch in the system that put out a warrant for my arrest. I am perfectly innocent. Actually, this is a massive mistake on your part and a major inconvenience to me. It truly is the least you could do”

“Oh really? I don't think innocent is the right word,” he leans down a bit, eyebrows raising knowingly.

“How about blameless? I'm just a blameless woman held hostage by a mismanaged police force, the least you could do is take me to dinner.” jokingly sticking out your lower lip to pout. He gives his best attempt at a disappointed sigh, but no matter how many times he attempts to release his tensing cheek muscles, they keep returning to a full smile.

“Fine, now who was it?”

“You think I’m that easy, Changbin?” pulling back clutching your imaginary pearls with one hand in faux shock,

“I'm not doing your job for you, plus I can't be on record selling out a coworker can I? Now, you promise me to take me out Monday after we clear up this silly clerical mistake, and I'll tell you where to look, you just have to trust me, yeah?” Caused by the name drop and your outlandish proposal, the shocked look on his face is genuine unlike yours.

“Trust you!?” he chokes out the question, but you just look back expectantly waiting on his response.

“I promise, y/n, to take you on a date this Monday” This the first time hes had a serious look in his face since he walked in.

“No take backs detective Seo” you warn. His flush brightens hearing you say his title for the first time after only calling him pet names.

“The old storage units on the west side of town”

“The owner? No way Mrs Lee had anything..”

“Let me finish!” you yelp, holding hand up to stop him.

“The owner of unit 87. Me and Mrs. Lee are actually members of the same book club, and I have it on good authority that the owner of that unit hasn’t paid his dues in three months”

“So he's the…” you once again interrupt him trying to jump to conclusions.

“No! I said I'm not doing this for you! However, your cute looks and eagerness make me want to help you extra. His kid has some unsavory affiliations, and they have been using said unit to store some… things. I'm not saying it's them, but what I am saying is the stuff you find there will lead you guys to the perp as long as one of you has even the barest minimum of reasoning skills. I know that can be few and far between in this line of work.” You just had to slip in that last jab, “Now, there's your in. You're welcome in advance, baby” He is a whirlwind running out the door, but before it shuts he shouts back to you

“See you tomorrow!”

They keep you in custody for the majority of Sunday, but no one enters to question you further. Only a few familiar officers pop in to chat or share a meal as you're finally able to drop the smug persona since Changbin is hard at work clearing your name. He returns to finally have a normal conversation with you and iron out the details of your date before your release. While it is policy to keep suspects cuffed on your way out the door, they usually never do, but Changbin insists. Both enjoying it a bit too much as he locks your wrists together before guiding you with a gentle hand on your shoulder. You stop before the main entrance of the station for him to remove your restraints. While your conversations have been respectful and polite ever since you gave the crucial information in solving the case, his smirk resurfaces as he twists the key.

“If you behave for me, maybe I’ll bring these tomorrow night.”

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

A.n- I can’t be anti authoritarian; one of my best friends is a cop! Thanks for reading! I felt particularly delulu writing this one. Wanted to name this ‘If you’re bad cop, and I’m good cop, who is sexy cop?’. Also, what the hell else do you call a smirk? Lots of smirking in this one. I can only alternate bt smile, smirk, and grin so much before I start feeling silly

-mo (acab)

Masterlist

[thats-rough-buddy04]

Making Zukka fanart in these trying times. I wanted a cute wallpaper because I’m scared for the future. I wanted something that’s going to make me happy even if it’s a small and insignificant as a wallpaper, because it’s barely been a month and the US is falling into more shambles. I turned 18 in January and almost everyday has felt soul crushing as more and more people are being affected by the decisions being made by the US government. Stay safe and know that you deserve to live and that you are loved even if the government that’s supposed to protect you won’t!!!! Anyway Live Laugh Love Zukka!

[causticsodaa]

Umemiya and his self-blaming tendencies

It’s a subtle thing, but details like this are what I absolutely love about Wind Breaker.

From the get-go, we see that Umemiya struggled immensely with his [suppressed] grief as well as self-esteem as a child. After the accident with his parents, he internalizes the fact that he is a murderer and he [indirectly] killed his parents and unborn sibling—all because they had saved him. Ergo, Ume blames himself for being selfish and doesn’t even allow himself to grieve for his parents.

He externalized his self hatred when he was younger: not eating properly, pushing people away, declaring himself a murderer, and even trying to kill himself by provoking some thugs to beat him to death (before his savior stepped in).

He repeats the phrase “It’s my fault” over and over again, before ending with a “because I was selfish”. Ume genuinely, wholeheartedly believed that he was responsible for letting the ones he loved die instead of the literal truck that killed them—all because he wanted to look at some toys like any normal, curious child—and that he is the one who needed to repent for the atrocity.

I’m going to put this in perspective: do you understand how messed up it is for someone at his age (or at any age, really—though with how young he was, it’s seriously heartbreaking) to be this suicidal? Coupled with the immense grief of losing his parents and sibling at 9 years old, it’s no wonder Ume was at his wits end.

But his savior, being the strange instigator he is, decides to tell this to kid Ume:

This is obviously a terrible thing to say, especially to a child who’s suicidal, but it’s the final push that Umemiya needs to properly go through with it.

When he attempts to take his life, he once again convinces himself that he doesn’t deserve to live, and that he needs to pay for what he had done.

However, despite the suicidal bravado he displayed earlier, Ume feels scared. Subconsciously, he doesn’t want to truly die (though he hasn’t realized this yet), given that his hand shakes with fear. It’s the onset of his self-doubt; but Ume decides to suppress these feelings once more, believing that he doesn’t deserve to even feel scared. Instead, he deserves to die and be punished for his wrongdoings.

He apologizes to his family one last time, but he suddenly remembers his parents (who were drawn with no facial features in Ume’s memories) faces.

They were smiling.

Ume realizes this too late, and regrets the first step he takes off the ledge.

Thankfully, his savior was there to well—save him in the nick of time.

This action may seem counterintuitive given his words to Umemiya prior, but I speculate that he followed him to the building and waited to actually stop Ume. In actuality, he makes Ume realize himself that he doesn’t deserve to die and lets him teeter at the edge of death to really hammer it in.

This is proven by the pep-talk he gives kid Ume after rescuing him:

After hearing his savior’s words, the last thing Ume thinks of are his parents before he passes out. He’s letting himself realize that it wasn’t his fault, since his parents were smiling to the very end. Maybe his parents didn’t hate Umemiya for letting them get killed, after all.

And Shitara tells Ume this quite bluntly, too. He doesn’t sugarcoat his words, and tells it as it is; Umemiya’s parents have always loved him.

These words, alongside the events with his savior, makes Umemiya realize that it wasn’t his fault in the end.

But Ume still doubts himself. So he asks Shitara one last thing.

And Yuki Shitara replies with a simple:

And it’s the last push that makes Ume forgive himself.

After the events of these chapters, Umemiya seems to be recovering well, and makes a vow to protect the ones he loves.

However, there’s a catch: Umemiya says that he won’t fail again. Subconsciously, he still feels responsible for everything, despite his saviors and Shitara’s words, as well as his own feelings.

Which brings us back to Umemiya and Takiishi’s fight in Noroshi.

Instead of trying to put everything on Takiishi, he instead blames himself for letting Noroshi wage war on Furin. Since he never truly got to understand Chika during their first year, this means it was his own shortcoming, right?

But just like his childhood days, Umemiya is wrong. It’s not his fault (it’s literally Chika and Endo’s LOL). Yet, his old guilt complex comes into play here. Even though Ume has recovered mentally since his family’s death, old habits die hard.

What’s interesting to me is how this panel was written in the original Japanese version:

Ume refers to himself as オレ (ore, meaning I), but the furinaga beside it reads てめ (teme, meaning you but said in a derogatory way). If you don’t know what furinaga is, this explains it better than I can.

In manga, furinaga can also utilized as a double meaning for certain words as a stylistic choice. (Unfortunately it doesn’t translate well in English or other languages :C) In this specific panel, “I” here can be read as “you” derogatorily). Given that Ume is blaming himself, he also refers to himself in a much more worse light, further emphasizing the guilt he feels.

However, this wasn’t the only thing that has stayed from his childhood days. His entire philosophy about food stems from his past experiences and even the advice he gives to Choji during Shishitoren is reminiscent of what his savior had told him. It’s pretty cool how even after all his growth, Umemiya’s grief still affects him to this day.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Rereading chapter 6 of Journey to the West with my bros is giving me SUCH an appreciation for Erlang WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS WRITE HIM SO EDGY AROUND SWK?? THIS CHAPTER IS LITERALLY LIKE

Erlang: what a fiend, wdym this guy gets to call himself Equal to Heaven

Erlangs sworn bro squad: stop admiring him and go fight ya weirdo.

-

Monkeys: SOMEONE’S HERE TO FIGHT YOU KING

Sun Wukong: HOL UP HE’S LIKE, SO COOL LOOKING THO? AYO?? I see you bro, i pick up what u putting down, u STYLIN [insert a poem about how cool Erlang looks]

Erlang, grinning: what’s up stable boy

Sun Wukong, grinning wider: where’s your mama at

Erlang: HAHAHA FIGHT. ME.

Dude the whole time they are just having their time of their lives

Other observations are just absolutely FASCINATING to see Guanyin orchestrate everything. She’s the one that suggests Erlang. She knows how to get Erlang to go fight SWK because you bet that dude ignores summons from his uncle. She knows how to peak his interest, knows he won’t kill—did you know he wasn’t trying to kill monkey king? Most of the other people who fought him fought with the intent to capture or KILL but Erlang just wanted to fight. Also dude the way Erlang’s strategy was at 500% I could ramble on about how the fight went because it was like, Erlang tells people where to go and what to do, then goes to fight. Monkey King matches everything he does until his monkeys get scared and then he’s APPALLED by that and starts running away. Erlang chases him, monkey king just LEAVES the entrapment, goes and pays Erlangs house a visit, Erlang pulls up, fights him all the way back to Flowerfruit mountain, then tells everyone to stand on guard, all his guys make a circle around them fight ring style to keep monkey king from escaping and they go back to fighting. Guanyin looks down and goes “ohhhh y’know I’d love to help….. I’ll throw my vase down….” And Lao Zi steps in going “Nono your vase will break I’ll do it.” Dude it’s SO WILD how she orchestrates everything. Bro hits monkey king in the head with his bracelet (diamond snare,) monkey king gets bit by dog, then gets tied the heck up and stabbed and they gottem. Like….bro, and then Erlang’s like y’all go home i got this I’ll take him back—DUDE MY MIND IS WHIRLING, listen this is a really really good book y’all should read it. I’m just rambling this isn’t a real analysis post or anything I’m just WOUGH BRAIN FULL, Guanyin is the source of so many things, she’s the reason Sun Wukong was captured, the reason he’s alive, the reason he is freed later, she’s his defender, his doom, she’s where he goes when no one else listens to him, she’s the reason he started a redemption without him knowing, i’M THINKING REAL INTENTLY ABOUT THIS. I don’t remember which translation this is but OUGHHHH it’s crazy.

Chapter 6 man, it’s so good

[bidisasterevankinard]

Hello friend 💕 can I request a platonic eddie & tommy snippet?

hi Gat<333 I'm pretty sure it's not what you wanted, but I love bitchy hurtful Eddie and he's bestie was hurt so he needs anger out so.

It's not Tommy bashing, but it's Eddie's pov and he's angry on Tommy and scared for Buck. so let's say it's Eddie's interpretation

Eddie loses the fight against sleep, when Tommy’s voice gets him back from word of slumber.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” he says mournfully. “I have no right.”

“Not for you to decide. Buck changed his papers, adding you as his emergency contact after he dislocated his shoulder and he had almost five months to change them again. But he didn’t,” Eddie says with closed eyes.

He still feels Tommy fidgeting uncomfortably. Man’s shoulder rubs on the fabric of Eddie's sweater. Buck knitted it for him. When baking was too much he got into a new hobby and at least this one is not the danger to their sugar level. And Buck is really good at making stuff from some yarns. Eddie never had such a comfy sweater before. 

He doesn’t want to think he might never have another one again.

It’s Buck. He never stays dead for long.

But it doesn’t mean you’re not scared it’s this time his luck ended.

“I still think I should go,” Tommy’s voice sounds … uncertain. It's like he's at a crossroads. Doesn't know what to choose.

“Go,” Eddie shrugs still with his eyes closed, “you walked on him once, when he gave you the idea he wants forever. Why stay now?”

“He’s hurt. He-he might die. I couldn’t not come.”

Eddie sees red. Yet, he doesn’t want to be not in the hospital when Buck wakes up.

When. Not if.

“Get the fuck out then,” he opens his eyes to see Tommy look at him scared and bewildered. Surprisingly even with all anger he talks almost with no emotions. “Get. The. Fuck. Out,” he shakes Tommy’s seat. “If you’re here just because he's hurt, because you want to love him till you’re ready to run again when he’s  healed, get out,” he points to the door. “He spent twenty years of his life doing everything he could to almost kill himself so people can love him, he still does sometimes, and I won’t allow the man, who already took so much love and will to live from him to get him in that circle again.”

Tommy stays in his place and Eddie wants to add the red and blue to the red eyes and eye bags he has. With his fists. 

“He can’t love me.”

Eddie smiles ruefully, “yeah, tell yourself you know him or his feelings better than him or the man who sees him getting over the worst heartbreak he ever had.”

Eddie closes his eyes again, counting to ten, “get out, Kinard. He needs people who stay because they love him anyway. Not the ones who keep their legs out of the door. Buck always loves with all he has. The moment he starts he’s all in, the door blocked from the outside. He doesn’t need a person who can’t do the same. At least try. For him.”

“He didn’t call or text. Or came to see me.”

“And you would if someone said to you what you did breaking your heart? Would you reach first?”

Tommy doesn’t answer him and Eddie hopes when he will wake up from another nap the man would finally run again. He has no strength to get the man he still likes, even though all the anger, out of the hospital. But he said the truth. He won’t allow Tommy to mess with Buck again.

He hits where it hurts.

Eddie opens his eyes to enjoy the torture. Sue him. He has a devil in him.

“Buck was waiting for Abby for months. The one who used him to finally rebound after you,” Tommy hunches over so much that Eddis starts to suspect the man has a plasticine spine. “Months. He tried to call, text. Tried to be the one to reach the person who told him not to wait. And he learned his lesson when she ghosted him and then came back with fiance.”  

Tommy sniffs.

Eddie feels awful satisfaction from it.

“The lesson was not to chase the one who decided to leave. Especially when they tell you it’s a bad idea. For him to love them it’s a bad idea.” 

“He didn’t tell me he loves me.”

“You didn't either, yet Buck believes it’s true. And he still waits. For you to ask about another chance. So decide Kinard. You want another chance, but NOT because he’s hurt. Or you shouldn’t be here and you leave.”

Eddie closes his eyes again. One last blow, though.

“But know that I’d tell him you were there, but left. What do you think will be his conclusion?”    

[polydamnory]

When you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this ask to 10 of your followers. (not forced, but positivity is cool <3 <3)

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck okay

1. I’m really proud of how my art journey is coming along. I feel like it’s been pretty slow but just looking at some of the things I made before I started college compared to what I’ve made now that I’ve been out for over a year I can really see the progress!

2. I like my hair (I fucking better cause holy shit has it gotten so long mf out here becoming a real life Rapunzel)

3. I like my taste in music - it wasn’t just a phase, mom! It’s been 10 years and I’m still listening to MCR. Also weirdly music from the 60s lol

4. I like the weird little sounds I make I guess??? Idk these are hard. When I get startled (which is way too often) or laugh I keep end up making these weird little bird squawk types noises lol. I hated them for so long but one of my best friends (who has dubbed them my [insert real name] noises) thinks they’re so funny they’re making a legit sound board out of them 😂

5. And finally I like how fucking BRAVE I’ve been this past week and a half! I killed a spider yesterday by myself and only cried a little bit! Progress! /j but seriously I actually managed to handle it by myself and despite being a fully grown adult who SHOULD be able to handle a bug, this is difficult for me lol

Why was this so hard lol this took me too long to come up with

[monkey-overalls]

💛 Head Over Heels 🩷

[daffi-990]

Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday

Tagged by the ever wonderful and talented @diazsdimples

I spent the morning skimming through the end half of 3x02 Sink or Swim and tip tap typing away at Chapter Eight of Rival Firefighters 🚒. Excited that I’m up to the tsunami, but also a bit overwhelmed for what I have to write for this chapter because I really want my vision to translate properly to paper (or well, screen in this case. Or word document? Idk but y’all know what I mean ). I’ll just keep typing away and hopefully it’ll all come together and if not … well that’s what editing is for 😅.

Prev snippet here.

Eddie had no idea what to expect as the 118 drove towards the scene of the tsunami.

Being a firefighter he’d seen his fair share of disasters, but as they arrived on scene, his heart sank at the sight of the destruction.

The ocean had swallowed up the once bustling city of Los Angeles, leaving behind only ruin and sorrow in its wake. The streets were flooded, people desperately searching amidst the water and debris for their loved ones. The smell of saltwater lingered in the air and if you closed your eyes, for a moment you could almost pretend you were at the beach, until the anguished cries of the people of Los Angeles echoed around you.

Eddie and the rest of the 118 unload from the engine and make their way into the flooded city in rescue zodiac boats. Bobby and Eddie ride together in one boat with Anderson, Stover and Campbell, Hen and Chim with Smith, Calley and Rosen in the other.

As they move through the flooded streets, they check every single body they come across and tag them so that another team can come through and collect them, ensuring the bodies make it back to their loved ones. Every tag they leave weighs heavily on them, but they can’t let the weight drag them down. People are depending on them. They have to keep moving forward.

No pressure tagging: @thewolvesof1998 @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @athenagranted @exhuastedpigeon @puppyboybuckley @wikiangela @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbegins @rainbow-nerdss @rewritetheending @the-likesofus @try-set-me-on-fire @theotherbuckley @tizniz @prettyboybuckley @princessfbi @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sibylsleaves @spagheddiediaz @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz @fiona-fififi @fortheloveofbuddie @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @homerforsure @hoodie-buck @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @king-buckley @lover-of-mine @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @captain-hen @bekkachaos @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @malewifediaz and as always, anyone else who wants to share something -> consider this your official tag ❤️

[mars-ipan]

interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that… i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!

[creature-from-unknown-orgins]

SHUT UP I DONT WANT TO PRACTICE A DEBATE FOR A SCHOOL ASSIGNMENT WITH YOU STOP GUILT TRIPPING ME

[fictional-men-enthusiast]

Old Flesh + The Parliament is conservatism.

I said what I said and I’m not taking it back.

[grimaussiewitch]

Oh the urge to make a danganronpa au with the life series cast.

I have ideas but I need to wait until there’s a winner so I can have the 6 survivors and debate on who’s the protagonist, probably the 6th winner tbh. And so I know if there’s more new players or not.

Anyway I already have an idea for two murders, chapter 1 killer I know who and who possibly died (although the victim might be too obvious) and I know who’ll be the chapter 3 killer but I don’t think people will like the characterisation I have…

Yet again I need the series to finish before I make my decision lmao.