#but I was very much in a bad mindset of 'I have to be perceived this way and anyone who gets it wrong is being mean!!!'

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

I think people using he/him for fake bean might mean it in the way they'd refer to a dog of unknown gender (i.e. "Look at him go!")

But using they/them myself I understand how annoying this can be lmao.

(That is a fair point! I am guilty of this too, so I definitely see where you are coming from!

It can a little frustrating, but it's not like the end of the world to me, and I'm kinda used to it bc pretty much all my sonas/characters are usually perceived as masculine unless they are very outwardly presenting in a feminine way (and even then it's 50/50 hdshdf)

But 99% of the time it is not malicious intent, so there's no need to worry about it too much

Tho that all being said, as a general reminder, please respect people's pronouns if you know them!)

[heylittleriotact]

So I can't stop sharing this after realizing it myself earlier... After Rook tells Emmerich that they're a virgin, during their dinner date, and he clearly processes what is a VERY unexpected fact to him, he tells them that's okay, and you 2 can just take things slowly. :) It's sweet, right? But also... Emmrich... how fast did YOU wanna take things? Because now this man's got me convinced he was SO down bad for Rook, he wasn't gonna waste time NOT hitting it now that they're together. I'm unwell

Okay so I actually really appreciate how ambiguous they left Rook and Emmrich's sexual relationship until the coffin scene in the third act: they wrote it such that the player could headcanon that they had an intimate relationship already leading up to that scene OR it was the first time they slept together, and I think that's AMAZING.

I headcanon that my Rook (not a virgin) and Emmrich slept together for the first time the night of the dinner date, and I think that he planned the night not with the intention of seducing Rook, but with the mindset that if they were interested in moving forward with the sexual aspect of their relationship, the privacy of the Necropolis might be a bit more relaxing that the Lighthouse. It's clear that Emmrich has pulled some strings to have the gardens roped off just for the purpose of their romantic dinner, he goes above and beyond with the meal, they have a very sweet conversation about their feelings and attraction to each other, mention previous dates (or lack of), and the whole thing ends with a fade to black.

... and I'm a romantic degenerate who sighs and stares dreamily into space while twirling my hair at the thought of them making love for the first time on a bed of soft flowers in the garden, illuminated by veilfire as wisps float lazily through the air... but I digress:

Since Emmrich trusts that Rook isn't pursuing him from a place of "charming flattery" I think he takes their new relationship incredibly seriously, and part of that is acknowledging the sexual aspect of it. He strikes me very much an actions over words kind of person (hence the charming flattery remark), and given their circumstances and what they're up against, facing danger, violence and the possibility of death on a daily basis (especially daunting for him), I feel like Emmrich would be very motivated to explore that aspect of the relationship as soon as Rook was comfortable with it.

He's also older, more experienced (even if Rook isn't a virgin), and gives off the vibe that he's extremely comfortable with sex and intimacy based on the banter he has with Davrin. I think he views physical intimacy as yet another way to express his feelings for Rook and show them how much they mean to him. This man isn't sure if they're going to see tomorrow, let alone next week: he's only got so much time to make sure that Rook knows how treasured they are, so that's going to include romantic dates, deep conversations, surprising them with thoughtful gifts, and making love as often as they can get away with it. Regardless of what comes next, he doesn't want Rook to doubt for a second how much they mean to him, but he puts the choice about sex squarely in their hands and will let them ultimately be the one who makes the call as to when they're ready to explore that.

Once their relationship begins, he appears to court Rook quite ardently, with enough enthusiasm that Harding takes notice and points out that he's been mopey and distracted lately, and goes so far as to suggest that perhaps he and Rook are taking things a little fast. Even he's aware that this is moving at quite a pace, and he's clearly worried about how other people will/might perceive that given their respective ages - he probably thinks that people think he's a dirty creepy old man: a besotted fool, but I don't think he could approach Rook any other way even if he tried.

There are no half measures with this man: once he's in, he is IN. He's not fucking playing: this isn't just a casual fling that he expects to end once this evanuris business is over. It's probably why he comes off as a bit guarded and hesitant to engage with Rook's earlier flirtations: he probably puts this amount of care, vulnerability, and passionate authenticity into ALL his romantic relationships, and has probably been hurt in the past because of it.

Anyway, this has become suuuuuper unnecessarily lengthy, but I have so many feelings about this man, and I am indeed unwell too.

[tarotwithdanise]

WHAT MAKES YOU THE MAIN CHARACTER IN THE CROWD?

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

send your donations here

PILE ONE

AoW, Temperance, 6oW.

you are the protagonist when you inspire people. when you become someone who lives actively and someone who became an inspiration to people with it's loving nature and unique ideas. you are the type of person who works for what you want instead of just waiting around the corner. you are the main character if you speak with some body movements or in short when you use have a body languages.

when you put much effort into your appearance for example to be well neat looking. you know what you are doing, you know your damn thing and you how to hype and warm yourself up. when you remain silent and calm when there's an argument, downfall or chaotic moment you are experiencing perhaps it can also determine as a reading for as you are someone who is quite influence people. well, maybe you have a sigma aura within you that's why.

when you talk, or if you put everything into how you look or look to people, and you can also know how to take care of yourself or when to warm up for you. others. if you stay calm even in such chaotic moments of life and if you are patient about something you want to achieve. It can also mean that you influence people's lives quietly or speak too quietly. You make yourself. you seem to enlighten them in a simple but calm way. and you can also be the kind of person who reminds someone not to judge others when they determine their future, like reminding them that just because a certain person has less education doesn't mean they can't achieve high goals in life . you can also be someone who is balanced in his life, someone who treats people with balance, like not rich or poor, but equally. it was also your mindset that makes you the main character. you are a person who achieves a lot in certain areas or wherever; you are talented and people may envy you for it. you are a protagonist when you show how you can communicate well or how you respond to people and their negative opinions about you like you simply know how to burn them without actually hurting them.

PILE TWO

6oC rx, 9oC, Judgement.

shocks, you got an alluring aura that may remain a lifetime for people. you are powerful, anyone you pass by turns their heads. you are hard to let go, it's not simple for people for you to forget even though you interact with them for only once. you were also matured and grew up that fast in such a very young age due to your past mostly childhood issues perhaps you are learning and openly willing to resolve this issues. you also know how to pleasure yourself in this world, you know what you deserve like you know how to spoil yourself in small and huge things.

you are aware in your dreams and are about to attain them, you are content from what you already have and you know to yourself that you are born lucky despite these past issues ruining you inside. people perceive you as someone who often changes their physical appearance, someone who puts a lot of effort in their outlook. you also know how to defend yourself in the crowd, you fear no one.

PILE THREE

High Priestess, Death, KoW.

you got a psychic ability and you were aware about that. most people may find you as mysterious and well kept, you are mindful about people who can do bad and harm things to you. you are the protagonist as well because due to your high energy, you are easily able to get comfortable with new people and places perhaps maybe sometimes it can take your energy but overall you enjoy new beginnings. you also love to learn and learn and learn a lot, learning new is a part of your everyday life and you may call them new experiences or lessons that you can use on your near future.

i also see here that many people may have crushes or you may be secret admirers, after all, many people perceive you as an attractive and charming individual. you are also focused and serious when we talk about studies and work, you don't want to disappoint yourself because you know you are the best. people view as light and dark, some may have good opinions about while others don't.

you are a knowledgeable person but you prefer to share this knowledge with those people who are worthy of receiving for you. you are quite picky about that because you know that not all this information can be shared to anyone that easily. you are an observant individual, you rather sit back and observe what is happening in your surroundings rather than be a center of attention but as i said you enjoy meeting new people and visiting new places. i describe you as someone who is naturally introvert but selectively extrovert as a protagonist here.

[zenokei]

blue lock manga chapter 271 spoilers, mentions, and analysis (this is an absolute word vomit)

my drabbles, understanding, and analysis on the itoshi family goes something like: when the itoshi parents didn’t know how to properly deal with rin’s behavior when he was little but sae seemed to be the only one that can ‘understand’ and ‘get along’ with rin—they unintentionally gave the responsibility to sae.

i suspect that their thinking is something along the lines of “sae seems like he’s got an understanding of rin that we don’t, maybe it’s better that way, he’s rin’s big brother, after all.”

and honestly, i think that’s why we as the readers find the itoshi parents “distant” from the brothers’ lives.

but do i think they’re bad parents? not necessarily, although i also do think that they could’ve done more. but given certain circumstances…it’s kind of subjective.

let’s talk about itoshi mom first

evidently, itoshi mom is a very concerned mother: she doubts herself, she worries for rin (and sae), and she’s generally lost.

and how could she not feel all those things?

i perceive this as she’s a mother who doesn’t distance herself from her children, but because she doesn’t know what to do at all, she seems hopeless and doesn’t have any solution to fix things. naturally, she has the instinct to do what a parent should in times like scolding, etc—however, this is blue lock, everyone has their own ‘ego’, yet some of those inner desires are just cultivated beyond rationality at this point.

(which strengthens my suspicion about the itoshi parents unconsciously putting the responsibility of rin’s behavior onto sae…)

now, itoshi dad

honestly, i don’t have much to say about him, he’s pretty hands off with what’s happening with their children.

as seen, he does seem more composed and lax about everything, and sae definitely got that from him. i wonder if it’s because of itoshi dad’s ‘talks’ (?) with sae that somewhat developed sae to be the big brother he was to rin back when they were little.

i believe the narrative is just implying that he doesn’t think much of the behavioral differences that rin and sae show, even when rin gets injured and gets in trouble, which is a little yikes on his end but that’s just what i understood.

most definitely, the siblings got the trait of being closed off from their dad, lol.

overall, i still don’t believe they’re bad parents whatsoever. however, i do want to talk about my recurring theory that the itoshi parents gradually placed the responsibility of rin’s behavior (and his whole development) onto sae.

let’s discuss the impact of itoshi sae

when sae was around 13-14, he went to spain, and during the pre-teen/teenage years of the itoshi brothers, their family seems rather peaceful.

the itoshi parents—aside from the pride and joy they felt about sae’s success as a rising soccer player—seem rather refreshed, anew, and just happier. they don’t carry the gloom of being worried for their children’s behavior anymore.

but why?

it’s because of rin and sae’s bond over soccer. from a young age, rin has joined his big brother’s soccer team as they both relished the games they could never play with anyone else aside from each other. basically, the itoshi brothers found what they were for. and they definitely got occupied over it.

though i’m only connecting the dots for my own analysis, i firmly believe that the moment rin played soccer with sae, he found a way for his destructive mindset to be utilized. through soccer—the only thing rin has been focusing on—rin was able to effectively let out his desire to break, destroy, and kill what’s “amazing/perfect”.

and who was the only one there by his side, every pass after pass and goal after goal? of course, it’s his big brother. the one to only truly understand and see rin from the very beginning.

honestly, it all makes me wonder if the itoshi parents ever talked to sae one-on-one about rin’s behavior. (which honestly makes sense, because sae seems like a pretty obedient kid). but at the same time, what are the chances it made sae extremely analytical, too?

i mean, sae was deemed a prodigy at what 7 years old? that’s seriously insane. so it shouldn’t be a surprise that all of what’s leading up to the ego of the itoshi siblings plays a big part. i’m leaning on the possibility that sae was somehow influenced by the itoshi parents to be more keen or observant on rin—that or sae was only doing what he did out of pure instinct, that’s entirely plausible.

however, whatever the course may be, the outcome that sae noticed something with rin (even before their ego in soccer) will not change.

from this point onwards is just my random babbles about the itoshi family’s relationship (kind of…)

“but when sae left for spain the itoshi parents didn’t appear to care about rin-” i am not hearing that. we should remember that blue lock is (honestly borderline but whatever) about SOCCER.

i believe the first ever backstory we got of the itoshi siblings was only soccer-centered, and in rin’s perspective/narration. why would his parents be included in his soccer career when they most definitely weren’t?

again, i don’t believe that they’re bad parents.

also, i doubt that itoshi mom would ever just stop worrying about rin, even when he’s grown up! in fact, i think that with sae leaving for spain, she probably felt even worried because their children are separated. yet at the same time, i do see her not knowing what to really do again. perhaps they had no cameo after the airport scene because rin found it irrelevant in regards to soccer and his ego.

but, then again, i’m very certain that the itoshi parents do care for their children, and are still connected to them somehow…just not when it comes to the field.

aside from the second backstory (the most recent one) they look out for them (i assume this goes for rin too). in the character book the egoist bible, sae mentioned how his parents send him salted kelp from home to go with his rice when he asks. additionally, we saw itoshi dad say in their first back story for sae to “take care of your health!” as he leaves for spain. the itoshi parents do seem to care for rin and sae as supportive parents of athletes, however, only in the sidelines, because i personally don’t think it goes deeper than that.

honestly, everything for me is pointing that the itoshi parents aren’t active and present in the itoshi brothers’ soccer careers. not necessarily implied, but in the ‘another blue lock: episode omotesando’, rin is the only one seen that has a ticket to sae’s japan triumphant match. a ticket sae sent—of which i assume—only to him.

although this is all still just my speculation, i am still leaning on that the itoshi parents aren’t really relevant in the itoshi siblings’ soccer life, but rather, they play a role in how they ended up developing.

that’s all!

again, this are just my own thoughts about this chapter. this is not canon by any means and i am not forcefully saying what i am discussing is right and should be deemed the only theory/ies out there.

i’d love to talk more about theories and analyses on blue lock, let’s chat!

[frekyaka]

Another (old) oc

I forgot to post these a few days ago but I redrew my first eltingville oc I did like when I first got into the pilot for the first time? (Legit butterflies on billy ballsack..) she was supposedly scrapped because in my opinion I wasn't really feeling her and also because it's quite self indulging to the point I'm cringing on myself so I had to drop her ass, but I like how I did her hair so she's back in business BAAAABYYY

(also boken inglish forgib me 😢)

First design (I was making an introduction thing and gave up halfway)

Lazy redraww (I made her a bad bitch in the wte vers like damn..?? what even is my sexuality anymore 💀)

I guess background info? (I'll make one for Dane, yes I'm looking at you @/indohyusbarf 🫵😋)

warning: very lengthy.. ?? I'm just yapping at this point.. sorry bros.. got too into it.. 😭

Valentine 'Val' Cooper is one of the popular girls in eltingville high or whatever. She's related to Joe (crazy..), and works in Joe's comic book store as a punishment for her rich ahh parents because she was caught in a major scandal and to also learn how the real world operates, be in shes excellent for the job as she casually rips people off 5 times the price, she's a business woman, just like her parents, and uses it in her ability to get more money and shit, (casually steals money from the register). She's perfect for the job but she has a complete intolerance to geeks and nerds (she doesn't know the difference and would not care to even correct herself, as if on purpose), saying that they are the disease and should get rid off in this orb of a planet.

Reasons and her views on geeks or nerds in general??:

She places immense value on social status, popularity, and outward appearances, carrying a deep-seated belief that people should conform to mainstream ideals, often viewing those who stray from the norm (especially geeks and nerds) as socially inept or unworthy of respect, being a 'geek' signifies obsession with niche or unconventional interests that diverge from what they consider acceptable or admirable. Rather than deeply engaging with any subjects outside their comfort zone, she participates only in trends they deem acceptable (within popular culture), she's uncomfortable with the people who get so obsessed (in her opinion to a borderline extent), that this discomfort she feels manifests into having bitchy judgmental attitude toward those who become borderline obsessed with their hobbies, such as video games, comic book fandoms, or technology (typical geeky shittt, like damn girl you hate ppl having fun??)

Working in Joe's shop/having to interact with geeks/nerds:

When confronted with someone who has a deep fascination or obsession, Val's reaction will be overly critical or dismissive, rolling her eyes, interrupt, or change the subject abruptly (are you gonna pay or not? 🙄), believing that engaging in such conversations is a waste of time or even flat out embarrassing. She firmly believes that social interactions should adhere to certain unwritten rules, and those who openly geek out about their interests defy those norms. She finds it very difficult to tolerate long conversations about niche topics that they don't understand or enjoy, perceiving it as self-indulgent and inconsiderate to the person they're talking to. (Neurotypical mindset .. sighs)

Finally, her experience with the gang (the elting shits!!):

Bill - she hates geeks

Josh - she hates fat geeks

Jerry - she hates socially awkward geeks

Pete - she hates .. geeks

I'll make an in-depth of their relationships one day 💀

Dane (oc) - she hates gay people, geeky religious geeks

Her relationship with Dane: (a little snippet of Dane's personality)

They have a sort of rivalry, more on to Dane than Val (She could not care less!! 🤣🤣). Dane hates her guts so much (because in his opinion she's just like the serpent in Adam and Eve),which Val takes it in her advantage to humiliate him if possible.

Back then, Val tried to flirt with Dane when they first met, which Dane pulled the fucking bible and recited bit by bit from the passage

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8..

straight up yapping away, straight up yelling it mostly to himself and Val is just taking it in.. So then the next time they meet, Val is either notoriously bullying him or ignores him, which both infuriates Dane (boy make up your damn mind.)

HYPOCRITE PAST:

In her younger years, she proudly identified as an 'otaku,' immersing herself in the world of Japanese pop culture. She adored reading shoujo manga and watching romance shows. She dives her interest in crossdressing too, typically dressing up as beautiful anime men (ikemen). However, as she transitioned into high school and embraced a more popular persona, her relationship with these interests began to shift.

Her passionate love for anime, manga, and crossdressing that once brought her joy seems to clash with the image she has cultivated as the popular girl (due to her parents influence to her and the school). In her sudden lift in being part of her new social circle, she has distanced herself from anything related to geek culture, adopting a dismissive attitude toward those who continue to embrace it. What was once a source of pride has now transformed into a source of embarrassment, leading her to criticize and even resent those who identify as geeks, nerds, or otakus.

She immerses herself in being part of a clique, classic hookups and drama, she engages her watch of sitcoms,and other mainstream movies and shows within her new social context. Instead of engaging in crossdressing, she now focuses on wearing stylish and sexy bad bitch clothes in typical popular and societal fashion (you go girl YEAAAHHHHHH)

She often looks down on those who continue to immerse themselves in the culture she has left behind, failing to recognize the beauty of the very interests that once brought her happiness.

[moonastro]

peoples first impression of you

pick a picture

left to right(top)-> 1,2

left to right(bottom)-> 3,4

°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes. °Don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post (as I would entirely appreciate it). ° This is a GENERAL reading, take what resonates and leave and pass on what does not!

***IMAGES ARE NOT MINE***

────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──

pile one-

people perceive the resilience that you give out, they are aware that you are not easy to mess with and you aren't as careless as they would have though you are. People often see you as closed off, most likely because of other worries of occurrences in life. You have this courage that is very noticeable and often people see that you are fearless. They see no weakness in you, you will approach life with full confidence and power. Sometimes, you can break your cool but its not because you are needy or arrogant, its because you cant stand unfairness, people notice your ambition to fix a problem especially when it is so obvious. Yeah, you have a very fixed presence and most people can be quite scared to mess up, this can be because of your facial expressions or you could be someone that is hard to impress especially with new people as you don't show your inner self to them yet. Yet you might be seen as someone gullible too. you also can be perceived as someone with their head up high and ignoring their surroundings. This can make it harder for someone to approach you as they see that you are someone who may not be in the mood to talk to people. you may struggle to trust your intuition and you may just take the leap without thinking much of it with the mindset of whatever happens- happens.

first that people notice: your physical health (you may workout or are in great physique), your beauty, your style of clothing (may be very put together and neat), your smile, your limbs.

your vibe to other people:

chic, modest, unbothered, chill, independent, cool, grounded, intellectual, business oriented, career opinionated, vintage, fashion

────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──

pile two-

people may not necessarily notice you, this can be that you don't show yourself or you just prefer to observe from afar. Yeah, people notice how you isolate yourself so they rarely see you hence why others don't see you very much. This may also be that every time someone sees you, you may not have changed that much in terms of style, appearance or attitude which may leave them not have a new impression of you. people notice how you are stuck with old patterns. this may not be a bad thing its just what others observe about you. there is lots of loneliness and others may think you are struggling with something but they feel that they cant help you because you wont allow them. they feel useless. you may have lost someone close or these transformative occurrences keep happening so you may be in constant mourning and grief and may not have time to heal. this is not the end of the world though, they may think that you have something that others may want but you are too focused on he negative. you are very good with words. you have a poetic way of speaking and when you do people are fascinated. people notice your way of thinking and how you come up with solutions very easily and quickly. you may write a lot maybe journal and get your worries out on a piece of paper.

first thing that people notice: your walk, your head pieces (may be headband, ribbon, hair clips and whatever else you wear on your head, may even be glasses), your right hand (may wear significant jewellery on that hand, your clothing colours, odd style.

your vibe to other people:

eccentric, colourful, tired, unbothered, baggy clothing, indie, untidy style, unconventional, alternative, eyes blocked/ covered, unapproachable

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pile three-

people notice your positive view of the world, you may talk or have relations to other people who like your attitude and they may give you job related opportunities. you have good news with money so people give an impression that you are financially stable. you may not like to be in big groups and may not work as well in a team. this may make you quieter that you are or this may make you feel small and useless. you also may not address problems and keep them in. people usually only hear you speak about the positives in life and they wonder what you truly go through as you don't really address those topics. you are rather serious and don't take things lightly. you can take some things too seriously and people notice that about you. you take whatever you have and make it work for you. you are very vocal about your possessions and are not afraid to show off your ideas and abilities. yet, others notice how you work with whatever you are given and you do it well. you are proud of your creations and skills and are not afraid to use them and show them off. people see you as someone who is very proud of themselves. you are quite flirty in nature, you tend to show off your financial earnings in order to get others attention. you are every good with emotions and others see your empathy and interest through your expressions- this makes you very approachable and friendly. people feel like you are someone who they can trust in the long run. on the other end, you constantly regret your actions from the past which can change your mood completely. you have matured well and others notice that.

first thing that people notice: your creativity, your potential (you seem like someone who is on the path to success), your inspirational nature, your ideas, your fighting nature, your motivation, your hair.

your vibe to other people:

classy, successful, positive, fiery, showing your legs/arms, confident, powerful, smiley, expressive, formal, sexy.

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pile four-

you are very hardworking and are always keen to learn and master your skills. people notice how patient you are and very detailed. you take time to get to know something so you will be able to teach someone else. people notice your ability to teach and coach others. you are are very peaceful soul, very laid back and very reserved. you will give others the chance to shine instead of yourself and i feel like only some notice that about you. you sometimes are on the verge of giving up and you are vocal about it. yup, you always give give give. you are the most selfless person that anyone knows. you are so generous that most people can think you are putting up an act but truly you believe that what you give out comes back to you. people notice your curiosity, you may question a lot of things and ask lots of questions to other people. you may also observe and talk about the things others don't care about. you always seek the truth and it may be why you question everything as you wish it would give you answers.

first thing that people notice: your pet (may walk your dog a lot of you may spend time with an animal a lot), your leadership, your vision, your determination, your honesty, your stubbornness, your friendly nature, your structure.

your vibe to other people:

casual, simple, comfortable, easy going, in your own world, warm, natural, open, free, informal, effortless, sincere, not extra, relaxed, placid, flexible.

That is all!! thank you so much for reading, have a good day and i hope something amazing happens today.

[starlightshadowsworld]

I think it’s really easy to see Camp Jupiters militaristic mindset and how they’re so vocally against Greek demigods and those that aren’t like them.

And you know, the whole fighting for the confederacy thing. And think oh these guys are the worst.

But Camp Half Blood has just as much issues that I feel get brushed over because it’s portrayed as the more fun and chill camp (that fought for the union.)

When in many respects they are mirror images of each other.

Camo Jupiter judges people on rank and Camp Halfblood judges people on their parentage (frankly I think that’s worse.)

They adore him now but Percy was shunned the moment they learned who his dad was. They shunned Nico for a few things, his dad being one of them.

Tyson because he was a Cyclops and Rachel because she is mortal. In fact they don’t allow mortals into Camp Halfblood unlike Camp Jupiter.

Despite there being Greek legacies in this world. Frank is a son of mars yes but he’s also a legacy of Poseidon.

Frank and Hazel are looked down upon for being part of the 5th leigion and we see how they’re treated compared to those in the 1st.

Camp Jupiter replaced Jason with Percy in a very similar vein to how Camp Halfblood essentially replaced Percy with Thalia when she returned.

Which is why I like to think Percy calling Jason Praetor as well is because he didn’t want Jason to think he replaced him because he knows first hand how much that sucks.

Neither have easy passage to get into considering Camp Jupiter allows Roman demigods entry as long as they’ve survived the Wolf House first.

Camp Halfblood says it allows any Greek demigod but if you’re parent doesn’t have a cabin here you will have to sleep in an already crowded cabin after a deity known for being a thief.

Also the judgement you’ll get for it especially if your parent fought on the perceived bad side of a war.

Camp Jupiter is self governed by Praetors they choose. While Camp Halfblood has Chiron and Mr D snd that one time Chiron was removed and a criminal decided to run things.

Both of which have left their camps in ruin for their own gain.

And the rest is pretty much the same it’s just disguised as fun summer camp stuff in Camp Halfblood.

Get prophecies. Train. Complete a quest if you’re selected. Get a new bracelet bead for a year of completion or you get a tattoo for it.

Get very much favoured by the Olympians if your Greek (because the Romans had to fend for themselves during the Battle of Mount Othrys) but even then that doesn’t exactly mean much.

Yeah New Rome exists but only for those that complete a decade of service (unless your Annabeth and Percy) and in both respects neither are expected to live that long.

They both got a lot of issues and for as different they may try to be for each other, they are very more similar then they’d like to admit.

Makes me wish we saw more of those differing cultures.

Like Frank not getting why people in CHB assume he’s some meat head when he tells them who his dad is.

Thalia being looked down upon in one camp because her brother is not only part of the 5th cohort but a disgraced former praetor. And looked up too in another because her dad is Zeus.

I just think it would be interesting to see.

[raayllum]

Moon Arcanum Callum + Sun Arcanum Claudia in S7?

Callum getting the Moon arcanum has been a fandom... not theory, but shall we say, prospect, since even before S4. Some of this was because of the seeming set up in previous seasons, such as:

Callum having a hunch that the cube wasn't glowing due to the Moon, and being our first hint at illusions on the Cursed Caldera (1x09)

Lujanne explaining the secret of the arcanum (as she understands it) to him in 2x02

Callum doing moon arcanum spells (3x08, Through the Moon) much the way he did Sky spells before unlocking that arcanum

Callum employing aspects of the Moon arcanum in his plans (3x01 with tricking Sol Regem, creating the illusion pearl in 6x01)

His growing relationship and understanding with Rayla, and potential involvement with her family/village

But especially:

This is of course already reflected in spades in his arc as a mage. Everyone, Lujanne included, believes that humans can't do magic. She treats this as absolute fact and destiny, but Callum perceives it as subjective truth; why can't he just make his own connection and do magic anyway? And in doing so, he changes the world. He creates a radically new, better reality.

With season seven's synopsis on sacrifice and life and death, both things we see tied heavily to Moonshadow culture and the Moon itself, I could see Callum connecting to the Moon arcanum next season for a few reasons (and potentially Claudia with the Sun arcanum, which I'll get to after). So let's get into it.

Precursor

Previously, if Callum was going to connect to the Moon arcanum, I'd speculated it'd mostly be around ideas of the consistency of Love (light or dark, the moon is always the moon) and his love for Rayla being his light in the darkness / the one constant truth of his life. I don't think this anymore, obviously, because we got all those things through the Star truth light ritual beat for beat and we're not going to be repeating, but I did think it'd be worthwhile then to revisit what a Moon arcanum could mean for Callum under new context / emotional epiphanies. I've also always thought either Earth or Sun would suit Claudia, but leaned more towards the latter, so we're gonna talk about that, too.

Truth and Lies and Aaravos

As Lujanne explains in 2x02, the Moon arcanum is understanding the true nature of the relationship between appearances and reality, and we can only understand the appearance itself. This feels like a very fitting idea to come back to with Aaravos, who ostensibly never lies but routinely withholds or presents not entirely correct information. "How may I serve you?" when you're just going to be a pawn. Not telling a mourning Claudia that he was indeed the one who killed Viren so that she'll continue to do his bidding, with Claudia asserting that Aaravos "didn't lie" about the ritual in 6x01, and he didn't. We also see him wield the truth as a weapon with people like Khessa ("would you like to know the truth of her fate before you meet yours?") and Sol Regem (more on that here.)

Everything that he says is truth to him, and then he lifts it up as being objectively true (i.e. you're destined to play into my hands) even when it isn't necessarily true. We can also see Callum veering into mindsets that Claudia and Viren have had, where he believes he's past the point of saving ("I'm ruined, it's too late for me" "Promise me you'll kill me") or removing his own agency by admission ("Finnegrin was going to kill you, I didn't have a choice" / "Every step forward is a choice").

Callum understanding Aaravos' or others' actual truths versus their lies and the ones he's believing could be very fitting in S6, especially if he might be learning more about the existence of the Cosmic Council and who made their world the way it is. I think his existence may help lead to that "slow spiral of chaos" but that it won't be just or even Bad at all the way they'd feared, etc.

Claudia is also linked to lies and truth. She lies to others, but Aaravos notes that "If you tell the truth you will lose her," and she goes looking for her own deep truth in S6, but doesn't seem to fully find it. Terry asks her "What do you need to find your one deep truth?" and Claudia says that she needs her dad, but she and her mother have also made it clear that she "needed to stay with Soren" and her family (vs Viren telling her to pick the egg over Soren). With Viren gone and Aaravos manipulating her, Soren could easily be one of her guiding lights next season or in future seasons.

The Pearl

The moon is analogous, framing/appearance wise, to the prison. This is alluded to in 5x09 through framing, and then made even more direct in 6x09: Aaravos escapes his prison thanks to Claudia and (unbeknownst to her) she has become the prisoner, much like how Callum may physically free himself from chains in 5x08 but magically/emotionally chains himself further to Aaravos, or Viren shouting while in chains that he's finally free of the dark puppetmaster.

Basically, when Callum says in 6x01 that he's inside the pearl, I don't think (as of S6 / probably first half of S7 at least) that he's ever gotten out of it. Aaravos uses him even after his nightmare, and we know thanks to the pawn intro that Aaravos' final machinations for Callum also haven't yet come to play. I've been wondering if the Aaravos intro is going to change in S7, since he's out of his prison — and it still may — but if we look at it from the angle of Callum and Claudia both being stuck within the moon/pearl rather than just Aaravos himself, maybe it could stay.

And if Callum is stuck inside the moon-pearl, shattering it by understanding the arcanum ("the whole world is like a giant primal stone, and we're inside of it, and it's also in us") and/or with Claudia moving to the opposite of the moon could be useful, especially since Karim is a corrupted sun in his own way. Speaking of which let's talk about

Light and Dark

We know thanks to Claudia that black and white, or light and dark, are not always clear cut. Her hair thanks to her dark magic use changes like phases of the moon, with the light being bad and the dark being good. Conversely, her path is a dark one with the path of truth and light being withheld from her. In a similar manner, we see Callum's light (Rayla) being what led him into dark magic use and what led him out of it, and will likely see this pattern play out again. Aaravos is a representation of a path of darkness, but we also see the cube flashing a bright light in the pawn intro, tying light and darkness together for him as well.

Callum's understanding of himself that he gained through the Ocean arcanum can not simply become untrue or disappear, so I think recognizing that darkness isn't all he is ("I'm ruined" / "your heart's not full of darkness" "Neither is yours") even if there are dark parts of him and of his life would be fitting. It also seems that could be helpful with Claudia as well, and even characters like Ezran, who will have to wrestle with darker parts of his emotions/personality next season as well with Runaan. They've all got light and dark inside them, and learning how to walk in that balance and still break away from the Cycle / Aaravos is useful. As Ezran said in 4x03:

I just want to yell stop. But that’s not enough. It won’t work. I think about a positive vision, a faith we can all share, that we might build a future together in hope. A future where we can be safe with each other.  But… It’s not that easy or simple. Because people are still hurting and they are still angry. We can’t ignore that, or pretend it will go away. Somehow, we have to hold it all in our hearts at the same time. We have to acknowledge the weight of the pain and loss, but open up our eyes and allow ourselves to hope and maybe forgive and love again. We have to give today’s children a chance to inherit a future filled with peace. To give them that, we have to hold pain and love in our hearts at the same time.

Claudia's love for her family led her to ruin, but it can also save her through Soren. Callum's love for Rayla led him to ruin, but it has also saved him (and again, we'll likely repeat this pattern). Ezran's love for his father will lead him to anger but also pull him out of it, just as Viren's love for his son caused him to begin his journey of terrible things, but also guided him to do one final, truly right thing by the end.

Love is light and dark. Claudia, who's been walking in shadow, needs the full light - the sun, in the form of her brother. She needs to accept and see the truth of what's happening and step fully into the light. Callum, who has been routinely worried of the dark within him, needs to the reminder that he's not all he is, that he has light of his own inside. In doing so, he can break Aaravos' control over him and give hope to any other dark mages / humans in general that no level of corruption is too late to come back from, and that there is always light amid the darkness.

Life and Death

The stakes have never been higher as Aaravos and Claudia are on the warpath, determined to destroy the Cosmic Order and invert life and death. With the world’s fate on the line, our heroes must be ready to sacrifice everything to save it.

In Bloodmoon Huntress, we get a very different peek into how the secret of the Moon arcanum can be thought of through Runaan, who is peak Moonshadow-sacrifice elf man:

Moonshadow form is only achieved when we understand the balance of life against death. Balance is weight against weight, and to understand the weight of death you must feel the weight and value of another's life. Think of those you love, of who you hold most dear. Now think of the souls who have touched your life. Understand that each time your weapon meets its target, each time we fulfil our duty, the potential for that soul to change a life—to love another—is gone. We may remove hate, but we remove the potential for love as well. Moonshadow form is only achieved when we reconcile this balance between life and death.

While Claudia with her hair and dark mage-assassin parallels could unlock the Moon arcanum—especially if her perspectives continue to change—I think Callum as the Protagonist is better placed at this time to be the one to understand the balance between life and death in a season where the antagonists are trying to invert/destroy it. Him therefore understanding appearances and changes, how to control his own and see through others', understanding that balance between life and death, feels very fitting.

Callum's fear of Aaravos and dark magic comes from the fear that he's changing—"I hope you're careful, cause [magic] can change people" / "the corruption takes innocent creatures and changed them"—and that death would be better for him than life if he goes too far. Learning these things aren't the case and that he can get back to the middle (and indeed, "real trust is about accepting even the dark parts we will never know" could be about Rayla accepting he may not entirely swear off dark magic again, the same way Viren kept that door open to do Good) would be useful.

It would also mean the two mage characters most drawn into Aaravos' darkness get the Moon and Sun—the arcanums most associated with light—to banish said darkness as well. Claudia finally being an uncorrupted light and chasing life, not death, and Callum, learning how to be balanced and that he can maintain his identity / use Aaravos' book and key without fearing that he'll lose control.

The fact that Claudia's eclipse imagery only started the same episode she lost her brother, and that her Laurelion dragon-scale necklace is very Sunfire-y looking...

Conclusion

TDP for Callum and Claudia has always felt like a parallel coming-of-age mage story between the two of them, leading to the amount of similarities and diverging plot beats the two have, down to doing the same spell at the same time but in different locations in S6. The Sun arcanum is associated with truth, light, and healing, whereas the Moon arcanum is associated with change, life + death, and secrets/love. All of these things could be nicely brought to a head with Callum and Claudia each unlocking an arcanum of Moon and Sun respectively, showcasing their differences, their continued room to grow, and light amid the darkness.

While I could see alternatives like Sun for Callum and Moon for Claudia, Stars for Callum or no arcanum for either of them, I think these are the ones that fit best at this time / Stars will likely get saved for arc 3 given that arc 3 will probably focus more on rewriting destinies and the Cosmic Order as antagonists.

As always hope you enjoy and Dragons out!

[bisexualseraphim]

For the love of Goddd it is not 🤙🏻owning the libs😎 to be all ✨both sides✨ about the Democratic and Republican parties, it’s uhhh denying reality lmao.

If you’ve paid the most minute amount of attention to the US election outside of viral soundbytes you categorically cannot claim that both sides are even remotely the same: completely different views on the working person. Completely different views on reproductive rights. Very different views on gun control. I could go on and on and on.

And yes, they do in fact have different views on Israel. One side is eye-rollingly centrist about the issue but acknowledges the suffering of both Palestinians and Israelis alike and is open to providing aid to Gaza and possibly a ceasefire. The other side openly wants Palestine bombed off the map. If you can’t see that those are verrry different views and that one, although not ideal, is significantly preferable to the other, then sorry but you’re living in a fantasy world of pure naïveté where, in the US and the entire world in their current states, you think you’re going to find a frontrunning politician who isn’t some level of apathetic or straight up hungry towards war. And if you can somehow find one, you’re gonna have to show massive support for them for many years OUTSIDE of election season, not just kick your feet up and only remind people of their existence when two candidates you don’t like are frontrunning against each other. That’s just not how third party support works.

It’s fine to criticise the Democratic party. It’s GOOD to criticise them. They could always be doing more for the most vulnerable and that deserves criticism. Kamala Harris proudly stating she is going to ensure the US has the most lethal military in the world is nothing short of horrifying and not something that should be endorsed by literally anyone; her centrist-level takes on Israel are also very much worthy of criticism.

But this singular issue voting, “both sides are just as bad” mindset a lot of (usually around my age) voters seem to have is seriously concerning to me because you CANNOT base your voting and/or political activism around idealism. Real change just simply does not happen that quickly. You have to work for it and sometimes that means holding your nose and voting for someone whom you’d absolutely end up in a heated argument with over a holiday dinner — because they are a baby step towards someone you’d instead happily shake hands with.

Plus the whole, you know, Donald Trump wants the rich to stay rich, anyone whom he doesn’t perceive to be a white American to never remain in “his” country and for LGBTQ people to be erased in both the historical and literal sense, plus many, many more. A vote that isn’t for Harris/Walz is a vote for Trump/Vance. Remember that.

Vote Blue — and then, HOLD THEM TO ACCOUNT.

[aristaspark]

Notice how Darius didn't look at Brooklynn's arm?

It's not me who's saying this. That's a conversation that's happening in the fandom that I wanted to talk about because I find it truly...idk, kind of icky, and of bad taste.

I decided to speak about it after having stumbled once again upon a post using Darius' lack of "notice" of Brooklynn's arm as an argument for the ship, but it's far from being the first time I've seen people bring it up.

Don't get me wrong, my problem isn't that they're supporting the ship, even though I believe Kenlynn to be endgame, I can admit that there are elements that could point towards dinostar possibly being endgame, my problem is with this argument specifically, because it looks like the ones using it are purposefully being obtuse, and are missing the point. To me it's a really disrespectful outlook on the work of the writers and their handling of Brooklynn's disability.

For context, Brooklynn explains to Soyona that she doesn't like the way people look at her ever since she has lost her arm. I love this scene. We get an insight into Brooklynn and her struggles, into how she is still adapting to the way people perceive her now that she's "different". The loss of her arm isn't brushed aside, it has lasting consequences that the writers don't shy away from. They consulted people with limb differences to make sure that they'd show an authentic representation of their expericences, and you can see the care that they put into telling that aspect of Brooklynn's story.

Now that we established that, yes, Brooklynn is struggling with the way she is perceived, let's talk about why I hate what the fandom makes of it.

There are two characters who react to Brooklynn's arm: Ben and Kenji. And from Brooklynn's reaction, we see that she feels some type of way about it, even though she has very different reactions to the two of them, because the two interactions are VERY different.

During the scene with Ben, we can see that Ben's gaze, despite himself, is drawn to her arm. That's mainly because he had no idea that she'd lost it, but since they were both very stressed and there were millions of other more "pressing" matters he should have focused on, it hurt Brooklynn that his eyes kept ogling at her arm. Neither of them were in the right mindset. He was slightly insensitive in the way he approached the subject, which caused Brooklynn to react negatively. But it's never shown as a black and white thing. Ben apologizes and afterwards, Brooklynn is able to focus on something else because she's an actual intelligent and social being who's aware that simply because Ben looked at her arm didn't mean that he thought of her as less than. It was a human interaction, realistic, and in no way was it implanted to say something about Ben and Brooklynn's relationship, to imply that Ben having a reaction made him a bad friend somehow. This is simply realistic.

Now, Kenji. He first notices her arm when she's talking to Ben, and we can see that he focuses on it for a hot second, before looking up at her face. Needless to say that in that moment there's a million things going through his mind. Brooklynn is alive, she's there, Ben knew Brooklynn was alive, she has lost a limb... We can see he is hit by all these informations which are way too much for him to process. It's NORMAL, EXCPECTED that he'd have a reaction to seeing her missing arm. Any other reaction would have been stupid. It's as if your lover left for a few days, came back with a missing limb and you said nothing. This doesn't happen. Them writing this into the show says nothing about Kenji's status as a love interest, he shouldn't have to ignore it to be considered a suitable partner and I find it kind of disgusting that people imply this. His lover has lost a limb, of course it will have an impact on him.

Now, the second time he looks at her arm is when he's finally reunited with Brooklynn. But simply reducing this interaction to "Kenji looks at Brooklynn arm -> Brooklynn scared -> Bad = Darius better" is a thought process I'd expect from a pre-schooler.

Kenji spends a very long moment staring only at Brooklynn, at HER FACE, expressing his emotions (beautiful scene by the way). Then he WILLINGLY looks at her arm. Kenji's aware that she's looking at him and he has already seen her arm, the only reason he looks down at her arm is because he wants HER to be aware that he has seen it, and one shouldn't have to be a genius to understand this. And he looks incredibly sad because, I know that's crazy, but as someone who love(d)s her, this impacts him. And Brooklynn has a reaction, I know that's crazy. But unlike with Ben, she looks scared, not mad. I won't spend too much time on this because I already did a brief "analysis" of this scene, but I took it as either she was scared that he'd see her differently, either it was the manifestation of all the hurt she's suffered (yk, often when you open up about something, you feel the emotions as you tell the story, and to me this could be Brooklynn allowing herself to show someone she's suffering for the first time, as if a silent conversation had taken place. Kenji asks what happened to her arm with his eyes, and all the hurt comes flooding back as she's reminded of everything she's been through).

Now, some people use the fact that Darius didn't even glance at her arm as, idk, a good thing, patting him on the back for it (which, on its own, is incredibly weird to me). Yasmina and Sammy didn't look at it either, but since they're not shipped with Brooklynn most don't care, it's not about disability but about somehow gaining points in the battle for Brooklynn.

But I'm like, you have to purposely being obtuse to use this as an argument. If I was Brooklynn and I was presumed dead for a long time, and when I came back I had a limb missing (implying an immense amount of suffering) I would absolutely want my partner and my friends to notice it ??? ESPECIALLY the person I love?? Actually, if he didn't notice I would straight up hate him because that would just mean that he DOESN'T CARE.

Implying that strangers looking at Brooklynn's arm and her loved ones reacting to her evident trauma are the same thing is wild, but using it as an argument for shipping is worse and, to me, an insult to all the work the writers have done to tackle the subject of disability. There isn't some checklist of people who looked at her arm and people who didn't, Darius (as well as Yaz and Sammy) don't deserve a cookie (or Brooklynn's love for that matter 🙃) because they didn't look at it. Ben and Kenji reacting to her arm doesn't mean that they somehow care less about the fact that Brooklynn's alive or that they love her less than the others, and Darius isn't "special" for not having looked at her arm, because Sammy and Yaz also didn't. It simply means that they are well written characters who react to things in their own, sometimes clumsy way.

What bothers me is that these scenes clearly weren't implanted for shipping matters, but are part of the characters' journeys with Brooklynn's disability, and her own journey. Them being present doesn't somehow put a definitive stain on Brooklynn's relationships with Kenji and Ben, things don't work like that. If anything I find Kenji's scene with her to be very touching, because you can just see how devastated he is for her, and how frightened she is.

It's not the fact that people look at her that hurts Brooklynn, it's the reason and the manner in which they look at her.

Idk to me it's kind of disrespectful to the work the writers did because it's implying that they tried to say Darius was the one for Brooklynn simply because he didn't care for his friend's severed limb. I think there are better arguments to make for dinostar, and less insensitive, than to reduce this very important topic to shipping.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk 😭

[majimaisms]

spoilers for the ending of pirates in hawaii. i just finished it. this is kind of a continuation of my last post but this time i actually talk about majima's love language and self worth. be warned, its long

i need to. collect my thoughts but this game basically confirmed and spelled out everything ive been saying about majima and his relationship to kiryu and his love language. it's about preserving softness in the world. he finds it so precious. "i won't let life do that to you." i wont let life "break you"

because he is too violent. because there is too much bloodshed. and "no room for honest living." he wants to atone so bad and he thinks that helping someone he finds worthy of helping is a way of doing that

he literally leashes himself to noah the moment they meet. he's like. okay. my life and soul is yours now. i will be what you need me to be and repay the debt i owe you. he is like this with saejima. im sure he is like this with shimano too. but its like. an excuse. its an excuse to DO something with himself. because he has nothing to do with himself other than "saving" people he cares about. its the only "meaningful" thing in his life and he lacks and craves meaning very badly

these messages are literally from june last year

i would now go back and change this to say that daigo is like a "grandson" to majima if anything. he feels responsible for daigo because kiryu sees himself as daigos father. its the same with haruka. kiryu's family is majima's family, by association

yakuza has always been about nontraditional families. this is part of it

he is literally like. mentoring and parenting these people, one a 10 year old child, one a grown ass man only 4 years younger than him, and it makes him feel so good about himself that they believe in him. "majima-no-niisan." "captain." they look up to him. it gives him purpose. a reason to live. a reason to push past his self hatred

like. this will make majima push through anything. this is what makes him so well adjusted compared to kiryu. because he has a grip on reality that isnt compromised by his negative opinion of himself. and he keeps it that way thanks to people like kiryu and noah (or makoto) who inspire him and give him something to fight for. he can push past the urge to wallow in self pity (as we see at the beginning of the game where he says he's a bad person) and self hatred by reminding himself it doesn't actually produce any of the results he wants. his result-oriented mindset is doing wonders for his mental health

this is the exact line of thinking i had been wishing kiryu would subscribe to with his kids, but he cant because he cant really accept the fact that they love him and need him. because he just hates himself so much. but majima understands that other people feel about him the same way he feels about other people. that principle of universal good faith and trust is accessible to majima in a way that isnt to kiryu. because kiryu does not have any kind of support system whatsoever

majima is literally the #1 example of this. he protects kiryu's dreams, he's there to do anything kiryu asks of him, he mentors him and trains him, but he needs kiryu more than kiryu ever needed him. because kiryu is hope. inspiration. and majima has a paternal dynamic with people who make him feel this way. he's very protective and takes the role of the more mature one, regardless of whether or not anyone actually perceives him as such.

he loves to be useful. it makes him feel good about himself. it's life affirming. the fact that he CAN help a person makes him that much more likely to keep doing it. the tragedy of kiryu is that it is heartbreaking to love him, because he won't accept help, he won't let anyone do anything for him. majima wants to, desperately. this is why he's so willing to go back to the clan when kiryu asks. this is why he is so intensely protective of makoto. this is why he married mirei. he's been trying to fill a hole in his life. he needs something meaningful and tender. he has so much love to give but no one to give it to and no good way to put it to use. the yakuza is cutting off his access to this essential, life-affirming thing that everyone needs. to do something good for other people.

he sees himself in jason and immediately relates to him because he intuitively understands how he feels about noah. because that's how he feels about kiryu. he relates to jason as a parent. he's like oh i totally get why he's like this. he's doing everything for noah. who is sick.

this is why majima CAME to hawaii in the first place. of course he relates to the guy. this is why he's so immediately patient and understanding with him. he is uncharacteristically soft towards jason in the beginning of the game in a way we don't see him be with anyone else and it's because of this.

and all of this. ALL of this. only possible because of the dissolution. because he's not yakuza anymore. because his style of communication can actually change now. he doesn't have to keep up a million acts. he doesn't have to rule with fear. he can express affection and concern earnestly. which is all he's ever wanted to do with kiryu but was unable to, for so many reasons. this game is undoing decades of damage for majima. he's found his inspiration and something useful to do with it, and he's inspiring everyone around him in return. it's everything i could've ever asked for

[amarasletters]

⟡ ݁₊ . 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐲: 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 ༘⋆ ྀིྀི

"white swans of secrecy, drifting and drifting, secretly dividing, the still waters of infinity." — D.H. Lawrence (Swans)

The lake is still, a mirror of the glass kissed by the silver strings while the swans lay upon it—as if carved by winter itself. It wafts along like its reflection, rippling like a half-forgotten dream.

Well, Tchaikovsky's swan, Andersen's enchanted bird, Leda's omen—swans have always belonged to the world in between. But to us, they are very much miraculous universe travelers. They're more than feathery birds and ballet, perhaps symbolism at its peak.

I think swans are symbols because they've appeared countless times at the most unexpected places and incidentally each of these occasions I wasn't exactly in the best mindset sooooo…

here's a rant from my delusional mind as to why swans are NOT just swans and are in a very biblical, metamorphic, liminal-ish symbol, WHICH humanity really isn't uncoding. (code for why did *i* realise earlier?!?)

one.

swans are always depicted as creatures that glide effortlessly, with one such certain grace, poised, untouched by urgency, always calm, as if it knows the outcome…

they always seem unattainable, as if all there was to achieve they already did.

very similar. yes. it's you, it's me, it's US.

now, sure, maybe it's not us now, but it's us exactly right now because you and I, are basically gaslighting ourselves into this void that convinces us we don't know much but, then again, you say you believe in shifting, you long for people you've never met, you find comfort in books and movies you cannot perceive and that is because it's calling you again, back to that lake, to go home, to that swan.

*.`

two.

they exist in all three— land, water, sky, all three states of being, but its associated most with water?

water, to me, represents distortion, a blurry layer of what-ifs, very much of an illusion. much like shifting, it bends realities.

the duality of swans on the water is that it's serene, and elegant, yes BUT, it's hidden, mystical, and even though I know how a bird floats off the water I think it's much more than that. shifting is much like that, we make it a whole thing— (as we should, ofc) make an aura, a feeling, an emotion, etc. But, what if it isn't oh-so-mystic, what if you just need to close em eyes and flap away?

*.`

three.

they have forever soulmates.

(I really fought myself to not put in lobster references)

they could swim through countless lakes, but that one other means forever to them and so, what if the universe is your lake, and its just you and your other swan (that sounds bad I know, but ugh yk what I'm saying)— sure, in different bodies with different faces but that one person that's always there and is waiting even now for you to finally swim over and reunite?

*

so, if we say shifting is an act of reinvention, then perhaps love— much like that of swans— is the thread that ties us to our truest selves across lakes, or shall we say lifetimes, across realities, across everything we have ever been or hoped to become.

.

..

.....

*

[the-letterbox-archives]

is it just me or does it seem like horror/thriller/angst/whump/etc writers (and writers that have any tragic stuff in general) are always forced to be compelled to compete with one another? like “oh my characters backstory is so tragic” “my story is absolutely riddled with angst” “i won’t let them have a happy moment ever” and things like that. that’s not a dig on any writers at all, more so an environment i’ve noticed where creatives are vying for constant tragedy and the ‘best’ tragedy, yknow?

i have a few problems with this;

1; it means that writers are discouraged from writing with nuance and thereby sacrificing each stories uniqueness. a story of nothing but tragedy is just a letdown, and if a writer feels compelled to aspire to that, their creative freedom is killed for the sake of the competition. not every story is a no-nonsense tragedy; and placing higher value on tragic art devalues other incredibly beautiful art.

2; it makes writers feel like they need to have their writing be so tragic it hurts too much, and that is a very isolated mindset. they can’t share their stories, because what if they’re not scary enough? not dark enough? not tragic enough?

3; it denies the narrative and characters any chance at happiness, should the writer succeed (if that were hypothetically possible) in making their story dark and horrible enough. and i may be an outlier here, but i love fluff and i want the characters i grow attached to to survive a multitude of experiences, not only because it will make them appear more fleshed out, but because it makes for a better story overall, as variety does.

that all leads to writing that hasn’t reached its full potential and writers who feel like they must compete to have their craft and stories be taken seriously. i’m speaking from a casual writing and small scale indie writer perspective, but i believe this divide also exists in classical literature and has for so long. i think the message i’m trying to say is something i should learn myself: your writing does not need to bleed darkness and tragedy at every perceivable opportunity. it should be yours, created with both the good and bad, and that beautiful nuance we are capable of. don’t let yourself fall to a fictional competition.

this may mean nothing aha, but i hope you enjoyed the rant!

[robintism]

shinonome ena: npd or bpd?

A while ago there was discourse (albeit, on twitter, where else would discourse be) about Ena’s cluster B coding. About whether she was NPD or BPD-coded and “what’s wrong with letting people headcanon whatever they want?” The thing is that you CAN headcanon whatever you want, but coding is something interwoven with the canon narrative that serves a purpose for the character. 

If we want to argue about coding, we must first look into what sets NPD and BPD apart.

NPD and BPD are both Cluster B personality disorder, characterised by unpredictable, dramatic, or intensely emotional responses to things. Outwardly, many of NPD and BPD traits and behaviours are similar. Their respective episodes can look like one another’s and many mistake one for the other. These two disorders are also incredibly gendered in the sense that NPD women are notoriously misdiagnosed as BPD, and the reverse being true for BPD men. Women and female characters who display Cluster B behaviour are more often than not, diagnosed with BPD without being given much thought or consideration.

This is the core of the issue with Ena. Many are quick to point out the Cluster B likeness of her behaviours, but are unable to properly pinpoint the intention behind it, which would become the crux to solve the question. 

MORE UNDER THE CUT

Ena’s motivations & fears

At the start of the Nightcord story, we can see that Ena is jealous of Mafuyu’s innate talents, and even angrier at her for saying that she has nothing, when she has everything that Ena has ever wanted. Ena struggles with empathy here (which I will touch upon more later) but the key to her character is very explicitly shown here – Envy. She is envious of what Mafuyu has that she can never be able to attain, because talent is something you’re born with. At this point in the story, she already wants to disappear because of her perceived lack of her skill, and her belief that she will never be enough for her father, and herself. So seeing Mafuyu, who has everything she’s ever wanted (on a surface level anyways) also want to disappear, angered her to no end. 

In case I wasn’t clear enough, Ena’s motivations are linked to her simultaneous superiority and inferiority complex, her ego. She wants to be better than everyone else, and can be critical of others, but any criticism of her is a blow to her ego. In a way, Mafuyu’s depression is like a blow to herself because “If I were you, I would never be as miserable as I am now.” Not only is she unable to empathise with Mafuyu here, she’s suffered a blow to her ego. Her and Mafuyu are uncanny mirrors of each other here–Mafuyu has the talent, Ena has the will but both are miserable in their respective standings because they lack what the other has.

On This Blank Canvas I Paint is, in my opinion, one of the best Ena focus events because it dives deep into her insecurities and issues, even if it doesn’t offer an immediate and complete resolution. This event shows us the first of her many hurdles, and how she dealt with it in the process. It also shows us her very first “crash”.

At first when she was at the top of the Art Class and getting praised, she was happy and confident. Then came the conversation with Papanome, where her entire worldview and confidence was shattered. She was shaken and her next composition was a complete bust, it was as if a switch had been flipped. 

Ena’s father is a bad father, and he shouldn’t have said all that in such a manner, but for the sake of this analysis let’s take a deeper dive into his words. Papanome, as a seasoned artist, has experienced the industry much more than Ena has. He KNOWS the reality behind the industry, and knew his daughter well enough to understand that if she kept going with that kind of mindset, she would’ve crumbled. And she did. 

The next time she went to class, she was criticised by her teacher, and he even points out her core motivation “If praise is all you seek” because all this time, she’s only ever been praised for her artworks. It was her primary motivation in this field, to the point that she grew complacent and stagnated without realising that her peers have evolved well beyond her. 

That realisation shatters her again, when she realises that everyone else has improved but her. Her sense of self-worth begins to deteriorate and she spirals, she even disassociates to the end of class and quits impulsively because she couldn’t take it anymore.

Basically, it struck her ego and she has a narcissistic crash. Narcissistic crash happens when a person with NPD becomes unable to uphold their grandiose, confident image due to a perceived fatal blow to their ego or reputation. This leads to a breakdown which manifests as angry outbursts, depression, withdrawal from others, irritable or defensive behaviour, and verbal or physical aggression. My understanding is that, internally the pwNPD feels a loss of self along with perceived rejection and abandonment. (Side note: I was doing some research thinking this was a splitting episode but it’s actually a narc crash, you learn new things everyday). This describes Ena’s crash and other outbursts really well. She tends to be very defensive and actually did withdraw from others, she even dropped out of her art class without warning after this incident. This is because her ego has classified the art class and her teacher as a threat to her image and self-esteem, so she needs to withdraw from it.

Again, this is the crux of BPD vs NPD. The key to BPD is the persistent fear of abandonment, while NPD has to do with the ego. None of Ena’s (coded) cluster B behaviour stems from a fear of being abandoned, or being unable to define herself. It stems from her need for grandiosity and her need to be important, successful and better.

Ena’s right to exist

Ena validates herself through the amount of praise (and therefore, also criticism) she receives. When her artwork was first criticised in her flashback in On This Blank Canvas I Paint, she loses motivation, her grip on herself and her sense of self-worth. When her artwork doesn’t gain traction on her social media, she posts selfies, which admittedly get a lot more views and compliments. While she is disheartened by her artworks not getting as much attention, because she does actually love art and drawing, she is able to in a sense, replenish her narc supply by posting pictures of herself. 

The Primary Narcissistic Supply is attention, in both its public forms (fame, notoriety, infamy, celebrity) and its private, interpersonal forms (adoration, adulation, applause, fear, repulsion). Any kind of attention, both negative and positive, contributes to the narc supply. Here, Ena taps on her own face card to boost her narc supply because she knows she will gain attention through it. She validates herself in these forms and lives vicariously through her followers’ eyes. 

This isn’t to say that there is anything inherently disordered or even wrong about wanting attention, especially attention online, but this combined with her other traits combines to form a bigger, narcissistic picture.

While BPD sufferers also have issues with their self-worth and identity, and may use similar methods to have a better grip on themselves, it manifests slightly differently. Borderlines are more likely to shape themselves into what others want, in order to avoid abandonment. Whereas narcissists are more likely to show off the more palatable parts of themselves while hiding their perceived weaknesses, so everyone will only see their inflated self. In a sense, both “manipulate” how others view them in order to feed into their personality disorders but in different ways and for wholly different reasons.

Narcissus flowers 

Also, Ena has a lot of association with narcissus flowers. In her 3rd anniversary redesign, there are narcissus flowers on the pattern of her dress. In her card, I Don’t Want To Give Up, she wears a flower crown made of these flowers, and they are also spotted on the pattern of her dress. One of her outfits from a card where she is explicitly shown to be painting, a card that represents the exploration of her character (since it’s a colourful festival card), is called “Narcissus Salopette''. 

Other than their obvious correlation to narcissism and by extension, NPD, these flowers represent Ena’s self-obsession and her need to overcome it to achieve something great for herself.

One of the official art also has this. 

Rin, in the Empty Sekai, is a direct manifestation of Ena’s feelings. Here they mirror each other, and Ena is shown as a reflection of Rin in the pond, much like the infamous Narcissus myth where he drowns to his death after falling into the pond from admiring himself too much. The myth of Narcissus warns us of self-obsession, to the point of neglecting the world and the people around us. We destroy ourselves in the pursuit of ourselves because we can’t see beyond it.

Ultimately, this isn’t to say that you can’t headcanon her to have BPD or relate to her if you don’t have NPD, but ignoring her very blatant narcissism coding is just really, really weird when 1) NPD is severely stigmatised 2) NPD women go under the radar by professionals and casual armchair diagnosers in favour of BPD.

[iamthedamndonutdrawcat]

what are ur thoughts on toxic wolfstar or unrequited wolfstar tropes???? pls pls hi muckla

oh i think wolfstar are inherently toxic

i like my wolfstar best with a long time of perceived unrequited-ness before they get together. longing and yearning for each other and not believing it will ever happen. by the time they get together they each have fallen deep into a mindset of 'i'm not good enough for you' and still feel as though their feelings, as in the intensity of their feelings, is unrequited; overbearing and necessary to squash down so they don't hurt themselves by revealing too much. i believe it takes them long to get candid and feel safe enough with each other to truly reveal their inner workings.

and because they actively hold back from sharing their feelings & feel as though a mutual relationship is impossible (since the other one can't possibly be just as intensely obsessed), they pull back and try to comfort themselves elsewhere. wolfstar who cheat om each other in their situationship phase! this becomes even better when at least ome of them struggles with internalised homophobia and hangs onto the idea of 'maybe i could still make things work out with a girl'.

so i think wolfstar go through a looong situationship full of withheld feelings and sudden emotional outbursts and increasing distance afterwards before they get their shit together and try to commit to a mutual & working relationship.

i think they are in love enough to always find back to each other and try to be better. but i can also see a version of them where they just really can't pull themselves together and just keep wallowing in misery and self-hatred and growing frustrations towards each other.

i think what specifically makes their dynamic complicated is remus' self-hatred and sirius' annoyance at it. i think sirius tries very hard to understand remus but some things just go over his head or he doesn't deem them as tragic as remus does (for example his lycanthropy. remus despises his condition, sirius loves him despite it and thinks remus shouldn't make it such a big deal. remus gets very mad at him first this mindset). when remus is in a bad place, sirius will push and prod to try and figure him out until remus explodes at him. then remus feels even worse and sirius is miffed because as much as he adores remus, there's no way he's getting spoken to like that.