#but I wanted to publish it because there are few times the series is mentioned
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spectrayus · 7 months ago
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https://twitter.com/NolanMixel25/status/1783930607296266666?t=M2n-I6yFLpiHwOptvQTZLg&s=19
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I must admit keep surprised to see a thread who someone mentioned about that.
But yeah, really, we all agree on that :'(
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dotthings · 7 months ago
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You know who I feel sad for right now is Misha, because I think he wanted to be able to speak much much earlier than he was able to about Cas’s confession. We know he drafted an essay about Cas’s coming out…and then wound up not publishing it. Misha deserved to be able to talk about it in interviews the way Oliver Stark is able to about Buck. Misha mentioned it on zoom calls, briefly. And then it seems like he got yanked back by the PR machine and the nature of Cas’s confession wasn’t discussed on any SPN PR materials and for a time Misha was restricted on what he could say on CE Con stages.
At first, back then, for a few glorious days, I thought the stigma about queer Cas, about Destiel, had been lifted, finally, and then WB/CW brought the restrictions back down via PR. Oh you can have your confession scene, SPN, but corporate will control the narrative on how it’s spoken about or not.
We saw this thaw over time. (Anyone who claims otherwise or that Misha was always able to be open about it, is lying). Now Misha can speak openly about it and that shift began around the time when Chaos Machine really set up shop and changed a few con policies. So I’m happy for Misha that he can speak only about Cas being queer and what the confession means and Cas coming out, but he still has yet to be able to speak in depth about it in major PR. The openness about it comes out on con stage. At first it was non-CE Cons. Then finally he was more able to speak freely on CE Con stages.
Which leads me to another point, which is that, in fact, any of us who thought Cas was supposed to be in the series finale? We were right all along. The PR Misha filmed meant to mislead and misdirect about his last episode…PR misdirect to cover up so it could be a surprise, which makes sense and is sometimes how PR is run. Remember that the production shutdowns of the pandemic happened during the first days of filming 15.19. We found out eventually Dean and Cas were planned to be seen at the Roadhouse bar in Heaven together.
When they filmed 15.18 everyone thought Cas would at least cameo in 15.20. During the filming of 15.18 nobody directly involved knew how far Cas would be shoved out of the story, the actors didn’t know, the writer didn’t know, the director didn’t know, how far 15.20 would be stripped back, no one knew how reduced even mere mentions would be in 15.20.
I’ve talked about this before but a reminder how screwed the spn creatives who worked on 15.18 were, how screwed over the actors were.
You were right. If you thought that there was going to be at least some satisfaction and closure and Cas was going to have one more appearance before the end and it wouldn’t be able to be loud open canon, but something that implied mutual canon Destiel.
We were right. We were right all along.
Antis on twitter dot com can keep scratching and clawing and harassing and gaslighting and spewing phobic comments, denying what Jensen’s views are and dening that corporate censorship is real and that bi Dean is canonical via queer coding and queer Cas is now loud open canon and Destiel is mutual, via canon queer coding. Won’t change what happened here or that the intent was so, so much better and more than what 15.20 delivered, and the reason it fell apart was the production shutdown gave some parties high up too much time to think and then interfere and cut Cas out.
There is no more room to indulge media illiteracy and malicious denialism and trolling from antis.
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jhuzen · 1 year ago
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do you have any thirst hcs for grandpapi neuvi? if you do pls share i’m so hungry 🤲
hydro dragonussy [m.reader]
hello hello, guess who’s back to writing again? this is a warmup because i struggled hard in continuing my kaveh request wip and a buncha scenarios for sick reader w genshin men and jing yuan all at once. on second thought… i think i really shouldn’t have written everything all at once. not to mention i’m trying out quotev to publish my yandere oc/m.reader stuff for fun. + yes that is the title. it’s either that or crybaby old man dragon thirsts. you pick.
𖦹 nsfw, neuvi is a virgin old man, underlying mentions of reader being an attorney (we all know i have a bias for them anyway, have you seen my workload series? lmao), switch male reader, switch neuvi, though we’re heavily leaning on bottom neuvi for this one, honorable mentions of cockwarming and thigh fucking, brief mention of double penetration (reader receiving), gentle and rough sex, implied dacryphilia (you), breeding, fontaine rains whether or not he’s sad, his tears are the rain and i will drink them like a hungry eremite in the sumeru desert.
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Let’s face it, Neuvillette has no time outside of his work as the Iudex of Fontaine, he’s constantly buried underneath those paperworks, and on top of that, when he’s not tackling mountains of cases, he’s out in the opera, presiding trial after trial when the Oratrice can already do the same thing for him.
So when you appeared in his life all of a sudden, he was new to all sorts of things. In his long life as a dragon, he has had little experience in what you can offer to him. He’s awkward for the first few moments of your relationship.
It’s the same to sex — you’d have to take initiative in every single little thing, show him the ropes like the good commander you are, and he obeys with no complaints. He sees that you enjoy it, and if you’re good at it and you’re willing to teach him, he is an obedient patient.
Old man’s heads are very clumsy at first, teeth scraping against your length while he slowly but surely bobbed his head. He’s slow, but he treats your little guy with so much care. Looking up at you with tears pricking at the ends of his eyes as he tried to please you as best as he could. Obligatory weather report — it’s a light drizzle in Fontaine.
But when you give him head, Neuvillette squirms, it doesn’t matter where he is, he could not keep himself still. It’s always obvious that even you cannot bring yourself to blow him semi-public in his office, just because you’re afraid a poor innocent little Melusine would come inside and see their beloved leader squirming around traumatize them. It would also be bad for his image if you guys get caught, so… sexy times are inside the comfort of his possibly huge home as much as possible.
Sex with him is slow and intimate, very romantic. What did you expect? He’s from Fontaine and they apparently love to romanticize things. Whether or not who’s on top when you guys are doing it, they are a lot more languid in style, like a moment of relaxation between the two of you.
A switch, though preferably a bottom. Yes, that’s right, old man Neuvillette likes to be serviced. He likes it when you’re the one filling him up so good. It’s hot and heavy, just the way he likes it.
He’s a tired man, so he’s definitely a pillow prince— no, a pillow king. He lays there and takes it like a good boy, only gazing at you with those soft eyes, hazy with love and lust while you continued to push into him. He takes your hand in his every time you enter him and he always squeezes your hand tight the deeper you go in.
Call him romantic and a basic man, but he lives for missionary. He wants to see you while he feels you stuff him full of your cock. He only writhes in the beginning while he tries to adjust around you, squeezing you tight inside him while his breath stutters, trying to take you in all at once.
If he’s the one in charge, it’s all the same, he’s gentle with his actions, though, honestly, he’d rather have you ride him instead. He likes to see you in all your glory, with you rolling your hips in such a needy manner while he kept you grounded, holding onto you as he caressed your thighs. It’s perfect for him.
Oh yeah, and this goes without saying — he’s a dragon, so he has two cocks. Fitting him in is a sport on its own, but you graduated with a major in fucking dragons, so you’re good. He’s a bit thicker on the side too, so each time you take him in, you could feel every inch of him, and every throb of his cocks is a heaven sent feeling that courses through your insides.
Please be gentle with him, he is an old tired man who hasn’t had a break. He is so vanilla that it’s boring but his cries are worth it.
He’s a very quiet man too, his moans are shy and light, a gasp here and there and a tiny whimper with every increment of speed adding into your thrusts.
Neuvillette is definitely the type to squirm and get away from you at first, but you just need to keep him still and hold him down by his thighs before you plow into him. He likes it though when you do it, it reassures him that you want to do this with him and that you’re not letting him go no matter what happens.
Another weather report: a good light rain. Not too heavy.
Now that all the sweet stuff is out of the way, rough sex is not as often as the usual vanilla one, but it’s not completely an uninvited guest between you two.
If you fucked him rough and hard, Neuvillette will cry and break. His poor pristine and unmarked body, filled to the brim with your greedy bite marks and hickeys, glowing red and bruising dark purple that leaves him embarrassed when they’re still around if you somehow managed to weasel in a rough session in the morning before he goes to work and you will be reprimanded for it once he’s home, no exceptions.
“No more of these obvious markings,” he’d say with a stern tone, only to end up face down on the pillow with his ass up while you found a loophole and devoured his entire back instead.
He hates that he can’t see you when you go rough on him, because it’s normally him ending up with his face buried into his pillow while he laid on his stomach, his hips being held up by you while you ruthlessly pounded into him without even an ounce of mercy.
He hates it, but at the same time, it does help with keeping his noise down because when you’re doing him so roughly, Neuvillette wails, he cries hard, with those pretty tears of his not letting up. He’d scream to the high heavens and were it not for the fact that your hand was forcing his head down into his soft pillow, the entirety of Fontaine would hear it.
Again, Neuvillette is a tired old man, so something so rough definitely leaves him drained, you’d constantly have to hold him up halfway through your little session.
Fucking him while he’s on his side and his one leg hooked over your shoulder is a great compromise, with how you can both still see each other Neuvillette can immediately turn his head to hide away into his pillow when he realizes he’s being a little too loud on his own good.
He’s definitely the kind to force himself to be quiet. If you fuck him without anything for him to bite into to hide his loud noises, he will cry and be embarrassed through out, barely even managing to cover his own mouth with his hand without an ounce of struggle while his body jerked up and down, following through every harsh punctuated thrust that you made into him. Weather report: Fontaine has a storm.
Neuvillette cries his heart out every time you go rough, full on sobbing and it is such a turn on. The way he makes garbled noises while he would protest into your roughness, hand gently pushing into yours while he asks for you to be gentler and go a little slower, only to cling helplessly into his pillow when his pleas fell into deaf ears.
His tears are just… divine. He cries so prettily and he does it with unwitting grace and class — somehow, he’s just innately beautiful in every thing that he does. There is no such thing as an unsightly sobbing to this man.
Neuvillette makes this soft noise in between a whimper and a gasp every time you hit his prostate spot on and he just shudders in delight, his breath shaky until he can barely think straight.
Gentle or rough, he’s definitely into breeding. Neuvillette has a breeding kink and anyone who thinks otherwise will sink deeper than Khaenri’ah. Stuff him full of your cum and he’s a happy and satisfied man.
It’s not just the feeling of your hot seed pumping him full that pleases him, but being around the Melusines, treating them like his children despite them being just his subordinates has definitely gotten this old man all too paternal. He likes the premise of being able to build a family with you, and he will nurture your children with all his being.
Thigh fucking? Thigh fucking. Though it’s rare, only when he’s really tired but still aches to please you, and even you’re too lazy to move a lot.
Bother him when he takes work at home by making him cockwarm you. He could not concentrate at all — squirming and squeezing around your cock so deliciously while you teased him about getting his work done.
Has definitely tried wall sex with you, with his back against the wall while you held him up. May or may not have happened at the opera after a heated trial when he ruled against your client and you were pissed your streak of wins on that week crumbled into dust. It’s neither your fault but the client’s, but you’re a sore loser and Neuvillette is a stoic judge.
Call him daddy while you fuck into him and he will break, he’ll go slack, his mind numbed when a rush of dopamine just infiltrated his brain every time you’d call him that.
And after all that, aftercare is a must. Treat your dragon well. He did so much for you, and you broke his old man back after fucking him into oblivion. Clean him nice and well, kiss his tears away, and wrap him tightly in a blanket while you hold him.
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yumeka-sxf · 1 year ago
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My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 1
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I finished reading through my copy of the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." There's tons of fantastic information about the series, but I wanted to share my thoughts/commentary on parts that were the most interesting to me. Since there's so much content to cover, I'll be dividing it into a few different posts. Also, rather than go in the order of the book's sections, I decided to group the content based on topic. This first post will cover Endo's comments about the characters individually, as well as information about Garden.
Endo's Q&As and comments about the characters
Loid:
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I like that Endo provides a reason for why Loid wears a WISE logo pin as it's something more than one fan of the series has questioned! And I totally agree with Lin about his "lack of distinctive features." Compared to so many other anime characters, especially shonen main characters, Loid's design is so plain, particularly in his hair and clothes. At least in his spy outfit he has a gun to make him a little flashier, but when he's in his casual clothes, he literally just looks like "some guy," haha. But that also makes sense for his character.
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I love how Endo gave specific numbers for comparing Loid and Yor's strength (Yor: 10, Loid: 6-7)
Anya:
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I did notice what Endo is talking about how Anya's design changed over time. But that can be said for all the characters really, and it's definitely not uncommon for manga-ka's styles to evolve as they get a better feel for their characters and world.
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He mentions the classical language thing that was also brought up in chapter 42. Definitely makes me think that will somehow tie into her backstory.
Speaking of Anya's backstory, there was this little excerpt about the researchers at the lab. So one thing we can say for sure about her past is that she was not treated well there at all (which has been hinted at in the series).
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Endo also discussed the origin of Anya's pink hair (namely, there really isn't any origin, lol).
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Yor:
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Interesting that he spent the most time designing Yor, and also about the origin of her stilettoes. And his apology to the cosplayers for that bonus feature about Yor's hair, haha.
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I had to chuckle when he said they can't measure her strength because she keeps breaking the instruments! Also the fact that she hasn't learned how to make a single successful meal since the stew…Endo is such a savage sometimes, lol. But keep in mind that this book was originally published over a year ago, and obviously we know from recent chapters that her cooking is improving. I also like that he mentions that she has left witnesses to her work, like in Extra Mission 2. I wonder if that will be a bigger plot point somewhere down the line.
Like Anya having pink hair, Endo expresses some regret about making Yor an assassin (but his laugh makes it clear he's not terribly hung up about it!)
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Bond:
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I know some people are bothered by the fact that Yor is Bond's least favorite. But I think Bond's (initial) dislike for her originated from the chapter where he assumes he would have died from her cooking. Also the fact that Anya put the idea in his head that she would "murder" him if he did something she didn't like, like shun her food (which is obviously heavily exaggerated). But again, this book was published over a year ago, and the most recent chapter revealed that he definitely doesn't dislike her even if she's not his favorite. It's perfectly normal for pets to have family members they prefer over others for whatever reason.
Franky:
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I love that Franky does charity work. I hope we'll see that in a future chapter.
Fiona:
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It's interesting that he ranks Fiona's combat ability so low, especially when you consider what she did to Wheeler in the recent arc. But to me, that wasn't so much a display of combat prowess as it was totally raw, uninhibited willpower.
Yuri:
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I love his blunt answer about whether Yuri has other interests besides Yor. Also intriguing that he mentions Nightfall when discussing Yuri's combat ability…maybe those two will meet eventually?
Information about Garden
Since Garden is still such a mysterious entity in the SxF universe, I tried to gather everything about them that the book mentions.
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It's interesting that Yor sees Shopkeeper as her mentor since he taught her survival skills in her youth. The book also raises the question about how Yor found Garden in the first place…maybe something Endo will expand on in the future?
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So the information Franky gives us about Garden is exaggerated? Gah, that just makes them even more mysterious!
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The above was a cool bit of trivia...so it seems like the secret police might know more about Garden than WISE. Perhaps Yuri will find out about Yor's real identity before Twilight?
Continue to Part 2 ->
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hwaslayer · 2 months ago
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wildfire (cs) | three.
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—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, eventual smut
—word count: 4.8k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, general bioengineering project descriptions/terms, very vague mention of mice research work, mentions of a lil cut (nothing graphic), a lil more oc x san!!, oc x san being subtle with their actions - they're def feeling each other/checking each other out tho lol, suave sexy san!!, jongho is onto him oop 🤨, it builds up from here i prawwwmise!
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When Sunwoo said he needed help, he truly meant it. A few weeks into the new quarter, you find yourself hustling in the lab in between your class schedule. You do enjoy it though, and you find that you still have time to carve out for your friends and nights out. But, you do feel your workload slowly increasing just because Sunwoo is trying to make significant progress with his project— a project that you hope to build off if you were to fully join Professor Choi's lab. A project that would hopefully get your name on another published paper, too. And, you weren't gonna lie, you wanted to do your best and work extra hard because you needed Professor Choi to see that you fit perfectly in his lab. You needed to show him that this wasn't any ordinary research work to you and that you weren't just winging your time here, especially after he gave you that friendly but stern pep talk during your kick-off meeting with him, Belle and Sunwoo.
—FLASHBACK
"Hey." Professor Choi says while sitting in his chair. The three of you walk in, with Sunwoo plopping himself down on his couch, and you and Belle sitting at the two seats in front of his desk. "How's everyone doing?" He asks while typing away, huge Mac screen taking up the corner of his desk with his laptop connected on a laptop stand.
"Good!" You all say in your own ways.
"How about you, Professor Choi?" Sunwoo leans back onto the couch.
"Mm." He hums. "Good as can be, I guess. Can't complain." He chuckles, now fully shifting his attention to you three. "So! How'd the talk go?"
"Well, I think Y/N would work well with my project. There's so many avenues she could piggyback off of if she joins the lab afterwards that'll help contribute to a lot of the dynamic foraging, brain-wide neural dynamics work we've been doing." You watch as Professor Choi nods in agreement, now looking at you and Belle.
"She could also help with the lab-wide project I've been heading and some other 2-photon and KCR work." 
"Sounds good with me. What about you, Y/N?" He leans onto his desk, eyes glued on you while his hands are clasped together. You lick your lips and nod, nervous that all the attention is on you especially from Professor Choi. You feel like he's burning holes into you, and you can't help but feel incredibly intimidated. 
"Yeah, that sounds awesome. I'm on board with Sunwoo and Belle's plans. I'm excited to dive in." He smiles at you.
"Cool. I think we'll get some great work done during your rotation." He turns to Sunwoo. "Sunwoo, can I trust you to take care of Y/N's badge access and getting her set up with everything she needs?"
"For sure!"
"Thanks." Professor Choi stands. "And just cause I have to lay this out there, there are some expectations I hold for the people in my lab— regardless if you're a rotation student, postdoc, undergrad, staff. It doesn't matter. I expect the highest performance out of everybody, and I want my people to succeed no matter how long it takes. I expect my people to do nothing but the best and I need that to show in everything you do. Presentations. Data. Papers. Everything. I don't want anyone to settle for less than that, and you have my support every step of the way."
"Of course, noted."
"We have lab meetings every Monday at 9am up on the third floor of the south wing. I'll get you on the schedule so you can do your rotation update towards the end of the quarter."
"Journal club!" Sunwoo says, making Professor Choi laugh. "One of us!"
"Yeah, we'll get you to do a journal club presentation too." He tucks his hands in his pockets.
"Professor Choi gets us free hot breakfast for lab meetings." Belle puts her hand on your arm as you all stand and start to get ready to leave. "It's so good." You giggle.
"So, all good? We're all onboard?" You three turn to Professor Choi and nod. "Nice. Welcome to the lab, Y/N." He flashes you a smile that only you catch, a look that only you see. Like it was meant to be that way.
Your time in Professor Choi's lab will be an interesting one.
—END
"Hey." You pull out a seat and plop onto the chair, sipping on the drink you just ordered.
"Hey pretty!" Eunchae giggles, while Felix, Jiung and Jurin wave.
"Where have you been?" Felix asks, poking at your bicep.
"Shuffling between class and lab." You let out a breath, bottom lip poking out into a pout.
"She's rotating in Professor Choi's lab." Jiung looks at Jurin.
"San?" You nod. "Damn, goodluck!" Jurin chimes in and you shake your head. "He's a hottie."
"Here we go." Felix snorts.
"I mean, are we wrong?" She looks at him and playfully nudges his side, causing him to groan in response. 
"I never said you were wrong!" Eunchae giggles at his pained response. "That's just the hot topic on campus. Him and his friends."
"So hot. They deserve to be the talk on campus." Eunchae rests her chin on the palm of her hand. "How has it been in his lab?"
"It's been good! Just really fucking busy. Sunwoo is like.. at the peak of his project. He'll probably try to submit his paper within the year or something if all goes well."
"Fun times." Jiung looks at you while sipping on his smoothie. "You going back to lab after?"
"Yup!"
"I gotta head back, too." Felix says. 
"Same. I gotta run my gels." Eunchae adds.
"What about you?"
"Not today." Jiung responds. "I have a paper I need to start already for one of my classes. I've just been trying to troubleshoot some of the lasers in the lab for the other Professor Choi so I'm not entirely busy yet." You nod, checking your apple watch to peep the time. "Are you guys gonna be able to catch dinner later?"
"I should be."
"Yeah, same."
"Mm. I dunno." You tilt your head. "You can probably go without me and I'll catch up if I can."
"Sheesh, really putting you to work already."
"Yup." You sigh, finishing up your drink and your snack box full of cheese, grapes and crackers. "Anyway, I gotta get going. I told Sunwoo I'd try and fix our behavior rig today so we can start utilizing it soon."
"Text us if you'll be able to join dinner and we'll wait!" Jurin yells before you wave them off and start making your way back to the Harvey Center to finish up your tasks in lab. Part of you really wanted to stay with your friends and hang out for the rest of the afternoon, but you had promised Sunwoo you'd take the time to fix the behavior rig he had been working on for the past month. He just hasn't had the bandwidth to focus on it lately, so having you is tremendous help for him. 
When you get to the lab, there's still quite a few people lingering around in the office area in the basement, surprisingly. You pop over to their desks for small talk, getting to know the people in the lab and the projects they're working on. Most are situated at their desks, analyzing their data and coding between two monitor screens. Everyone's equally nice and passionate about what they do, it makes the environment less stressful knowing it's collaborative and engaging instead of being in a competitive nature. Belle pulls you aside to get your help just as Sunwoo is packing up for the day and thanking you for your help with the behavior rig. She takes about an hour or so of your time, giving you a quick rundown of the procedures she's working on and what you could help with in the next few weeks. It's after your time with Belle that you finally get to sit down at your desk and focus on the rig sitting on top of it. You don't think it'll take much time, and you feel like you'll actually be able to catch dinner with your friends.
Until you realize how difficult it is get everything situated on the breadboard properly. 
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San hums as he walks through the cold air, pacing towards the Harvey Center to get to his office. He's just had a good workout at the faculty lounge, and he doesn't expect too many people [if any] to be lingering around in the open office space of the lab. He knows people are cooped up in their own laser or behavior rooms right now, and it's not even the first time he'll be strolling in casual clothes. He tries to keep himself clean and pressed down, but he too, has his days where he just wants to head to work in some jeans. A tshirt. Hoodie.
Right now, the cold is pricking his skin because he's in a black Nike dry fit shirt and sweats. He's running to the office to finish up a few last minute things before heading home and relaxing. As expected, the hallway feels eerily quiet. He assumes there could be one or two people locked away in the rooms, but he won't bother. When he gets into the office space, he doesn't see anyone in particular until he turns the corner towards his office and finds you sitting at your desk in the corner. The computer screen is pretty bright, and you've got your hands tied with a rig. 
He definitely wasn't expecting you to be here.
"Fuuuck." He hears you slightly whine when the small allen wrench in your hand slips and tumbles to the floor, followed by a few screws sitting on your desk.
"Hey Y/N, you okay?" San asks, dropping his duffle bag right in front of his office door before slowly walking over to you. You look up in surprise, eyes quickly scanning Professor Choi in his casual outfit. You're stunned at how good he looks in something so simple, how big and defined his arms are in that tight shirt; he looks so good you almost forget to respond.
He sure as hell catches on though, a tiny smirk growing at the corner of his lips.
"Oh, yeah. I'm trying to unscrew this but Sunwoo's got it in there tightly. I'm afraid I'm weak." He laughs and shakes his head.
"Nah. You're not weak." He picks up the allen wrench from the floor. "Which one?"
"This." You point. "And this too, while you're at it." He chuckles.
"You got it, boss." San angles himself closer to you, face only inches away from yours when he dips to get a better look. You watch as his arm muscles flex when he gets the wrench in there and starts undoing the screw, loosening it in a matter of seconds. "I'll let you do the rest." He moves onto the next and loosens it shortly after. When he finishes, his face is only inches away from yours and he keeps a hold there. He's looking at you again, really looking at you, and you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. You're not sure what else to do besides nibble on your bottom lip.
"Thank you." You manage to choke out. He gives you a soft smile before handing you the allen wrench and standing fully upright.
"You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" 
"Um, no. I didn't." San looks at your hand a little further and notices the fresh scratch near your pinky— probably due to your hand slipping from the force, scratching it against one of the mounts sitting on the board. 
"I didn't expect you to lie to me so quickly." He teases, slight whine in his tone while he clicks his teeth. "Can I see?" You show him your hand. "Come to my office, got some ointment for it." He nods towards his door and leads the way. San could damn well show you to the lab's first aid kit down the hall, but his office is much closer and he'd feel a bit better than just sending you off to fend for yourself. 
"Professor Choi, I can just find the—" Before you can finish your sentence, he's already swinging his door open and holding it open for you.
"It's much quicker than heading down the hall to the first aid kit." He laughs a bit. You give him a tiny smile as you brush past and walk into his office, feeling a bit awkward being in his private space for something as little as a cut. You fiddle with your fingers as he places his duffle bag down onto the couch before grabbing the first aid kit in one of the drawers near his desk. He grabs a small pack of ointment and a bandaid, approaching you in the middle of the room. "Mind if I..?"
"Not at all." You leave out your hand for Professor Choi to take and he gently tugs it closer. He applies the ointment on your scab, dabbing it lightly across the surface before grabbing the bandaid and placing it on top. 
"There."
"Thank you, Professor Choi."
"You're welcome. Be careful next time. Make sure Sunwoo does the heavy lifting."
"I know. He's good help. I just figured I'd help him get a head start." San gives you a small smile. "Mind if I ask? What're you doing here later in the evening?"
"Sometimes, I just stay to get my work done. Can't always rely on my home office to keep me productive." He chuckles. "Plus, I get my workouts in at the faculty lounge." You nod.
"I see."
"How long have you been in the lab today?"
"I've been in and out in between classes."
"You haven't eaten dinner?"
"Nope. Dining hall doesn't close until 9pm, though." San looks at the time on his computer.
"Which is getting pretty close. You should wrap it up." You look at him with a small pout and it feels too difficult having to keep his composure while you keep looking at him like that. His eyes quickly dip to the low cut shirt you're wearing before he manages to divert his attention back up to your eyes. The tension is palpable, but you don't say anything. Even if you caught it, even if you wanna tease him a little. You try to stick to your own lane in case all of this is pure delusion. 
You're so fucking pretty, though. It's bad for San. 
Unhealthy.
"I mean, don't get me wrong. It's nice knowing you're working hard in the lab." He follows up with a laugh. "But, you should also get some time in for yourself. Rest and eat well. You can always come back to the work tomorrow."
"What if I fall behind?"
"There's no such thing on falling behind if you're constantly working on so many different aspects, Y/N. Plus, it's not gonna be perfect. You'll have days that're slow, that'll feel like you aren't getting much out of your project. But, I promise it picks up again and things will come out of it regardless."
"Noted." You smile at him. "I appreciate that."
"How about I finish up in there and we head out together? I'd really hate to leave you here in the office alone, especially if I don't have to." You look at him and even though everything inside of you is fighting, pleading, to say no, you end up with—
"Okay." You softly respond. "I'm gonna go clean up."
"Sounds good. I'll be out in a minute." He gives you that look again and you hate that you don't know if he looks at everyone else like this or just you. You eye him once more even as he's turned towards his desk checking his phone before you head out of his office and to your desk. You did make good progress on the rig, which you know Sunwoo would be grateful about. The only thing he needs to do is add the part he created the other day, a tube where the mouse would be situated for lick behavior tests.
Meanwhile, San plops onto his computer chair and pulls up his emails, looping in the appropriate people to help fix certain issues. He's got a few emails regarding just-in-time information needed for the grants he's been re-applying for, making a mental note to hop on a quick meeting with the people involved so they can get their reports and data together and send it off in a timely manner.
It never ends, he thinks. 
All is his life consists of now is work. The lab. Collaborating in various projects across departments. Working out. Sometimes, San wishes there was something else he could look forward to. Something else that could take time out of his day, something that he could put his attention to. Something like—
jongho: still on campus?
He turns to his phone when the text tone goes off, seeing the message from Jongho. San quickly checks the time and finishes up the last email he was working on before he got distracted.
san: yeah, gonna head out tho. just working on some last min urgent emails that came in.
jongho: wanna grab something to eat? i'll meet you at your car
san: alright, give me like 10 mins. 
San sends off his last few emails before checking his calendar for tomorrow's meetings. He has a virtual talk after class that he needs to prep for, which he'll do later tonight. Plus, he'll need to gather that information for the grants. Just thinking about it makes San breathe out a heavy sigh, slightly feeling overwhelmed at his never-ending to-do list.
Yeah, a new hobby or distraction would be nice.
"Ready?" You turn to see Professor Choi locking up his office, duffle bag slung on his shoulder. When he's done, he turns and gives you a small smile; patiently waiting for you to be ready. You nod, locking your computer and grabbing your things before walking out behind him.
"So, do you always work out in the evenings?"
"I try to, yeah." You look up at him while he walks alongside of you. "Helps me release steam from all the stuff going on."
"I can only imagine." You tug on your bag strap. "I don't know how you do it with your busy schedule."
"I'm not too busy." He says in a playful tone. "Just enough."
"Sure." You laugh. "Everyone knows how busy and occupied you are, Professor Choi."
"What if everyone just hypes me up too much and has the wrong idea about me?"
"I doubt that."
"How would you know, hm?" He smiles when he presses the elevator door. 
"Oh, please. I never not see you in a meeting or talking to someone, or doing a talk somewhere." You slip into the elevator with him. He rests against the rail on the opposite side from where you stand, fully facing you. "You even did that episode not too long ago for Professor Young's podcast."
"Wow, you really keep up, don't you?"
"How could I not?" He chuckles.
"That's nice to know that you do." He means it. As much as he loves when people treat him like a regular person, he also loves it when people keep up with his projects. His papers. His talks. He's not gonna lie; it is an ego boost, and he likes knowing that people take time out of their day because they're interested in hearing what he has to say or what he's working on now.
It's definitely nice coming from you.
You quietly stand off to the side, watching as the elevator takes you from the basement to floor 1 of the building. San is subtly eyeing you from where he stands, noticing how you keep to yourself and shift your weight between your feet in some kind of anxious move to get off of the elevator. You can barely look him in the eye and he thinks it's cute.
"What're your plans after you get dinner, Y/N?" He breaks the silence as you step out of the elevator and out of the building. The night isn't too chilly— the stars are dotting the sky beautifully, crickets are beginning to chirp. There aren't too many people moving across campus anymore, which is the usual at this time. Most are huddled up in lab if they're the working night-owl type, or resting at their dorms or apartments to get ready for the next day.
"Finish my loads of homework and try to hang out with my friends for a bit if we all aren't too tired."
"That's nice, minus the homework part." You giggle.
"What about you? If you don't mind me asking." He smiles.
"I don't. I'm just gonna meet up with the other Professor Choi and grab dinner with him."
"You two are close, yeah?" He nods.
"Yup."
"That's cute." 
"Is it?" He asks in a playful, sing-song way that has you shifting your attention to your feet to bite back a huge smile.
"It is. Very." You finally look up at him and meet his eyes. "By the way, I hope I'm not making you walk extra steps tonight." You point at the dining hall just down the path. "I can take it from here if you need to get to your car or meet him somewhere else."
"It's alright, I parked right over here." He nods towards the parking garage coming up on the left. "Easiest garage to find parking at."
"Works out then." You give him a tiny, toothless smile.
"Your friends are able to join you for dinner, right?"
"Should be. I'll call them in a few." You pause in your steps when the garage is directly to the left now. "Thanks for walking me, Professor Choi."
"You sure you don't need me to walk you towards the end of the path?"
"All good. I'm a big girl." He laughs.
"Yeah." He's doing that thing again. That thing where he just looks at you with a certain glint in his eye— a certain glint that makes you overthink, makes you wonder if he does this with everyone he comes across, or if it's just you. 
"Goodnight, I hope you have a good dinner."
"You too." You give him one last smile and wave before you start walking towards the dining hall, creating more distance between you two. You don't catch the way he continues to watch you until you've managed to cross the street and approach the dining hall— phone pressed against your ear because he assumes you're calling up your friends to meet you.
When he feels comfortable to take his eyes off of you, he crosses the way to the garage and starts walking towards his car that's sitting on the current ground level, Jongho patiently leaning against the tail end of it.
"Uh." Jongho laughs. "The hell was that?"
"What was what?"
"I saw you from here, don't try and be slick on me now." 
"It was nothing?" San pops open his trunk and tosses his duffle bag in.
"Didn't look like it." Jongho snorts.
"Y/N was just in lab and I didn't want her to leave alone."
"Your rotation student?"
"Mhm."
"Okay. I'm all for being a gentleman but be careful." He gives him a look.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I've known you for years, bro. There's a certain look in your eyes and it doesn't exactly scream 'nothing.'" 
"Well, it is." Is all San says. He doesn't really have anything else to say because he doesn't wanna sound like he's defending himself way too much when he doesn't need to. He knows better. Maybe. Hopefully.
"Aye." Jongho shrugs. "Want you to be happy but just keep it safe, yeah? You've worked really hard for everything you have."
"I know." San lets out a breath. "Anyway, where do you wanna go for dinner?"
"Happy hour at the bar nearby? I can be passenger princess, or if you really want, we can drive separately to make it easier. I guess." He playfully huffs, making San chuckle.
"Just get in." 
On the way to the bar, Jongho gives San more details about the collaboration and that the group is incredibly interested in moving forward. San nods, agreeing that it would be good for them and everyone involved both funding-wise and opportunity-wise. Jongho then tells San about his recent grants that were finally accepted and re-awarded, giving him a little more leeway to purchase new equipment he's been having his eyes on for Jiung and a few other of his lab members to toy around with. There's a certain idea that's been floating in his head for awhile now, one that San honestly doesn't understand much about because electrical engineering is a whole other beast to him. He gets the gist, and he knows Jongho has only done incredibly work, continuing to one-up himself every single time he comes back around with a new idea.
"So, there's another thing I've been thinking about." Jongho says, as they finally arrive to the sports bar and follow the host to a table on the back patio. 
"Should I be scared?" San asks as they sit and immediately order their go-to beers and the karaage they love so much. 
"I was thinking of asking the dean for some real estate at the new campus building."
"Bartlett Hall? The one that just finished construction?" Jongho nods.
"Mhmmm." He responds in a sing-song tone. "I briefly mentioned it to him in passing and he told me we'd talk more, but was hoping to get you onboard, too."
"Why me?" San laughs, picking at a piece of karaage with a toothpick before popping it into his mouth. Before San can hear Jongho's reasoning, the server comes back to take their orders. They both order different burgers, planning to exchange a half for the other. 
"Was thinking we could open the joint department together, finally have a space for us to combine our work in electrical engineering and bioengineering." San pokes out his bottom lip and nods.
"Sooo, we'd have to write a whole pitch and sell it to the dean?"
"Yeah basically, but we can run it by Namjoon first and see what he says."
"I'm down. I dunno if the dean will budge without implementing certain requirements from our end, but, I'm down to try."
"Yeah?" Jongho laughs. "Glad to hear you're down. It'll be good! I've been thinking about it for awhile but I was always hesitant. Think it's probably just best to take the leap. Worst thing they can say is no."
"That's true. Yeah, I'm down. It'll be good for the students and the postdocs. They'll have a space for them to collaborate together. Pretty exciting to think about, actually."
"Thought so." Jongho sips his beer. "I'll start working on a proposal and send it to you for edits."
"Sounds good with me."
"How was that meeting with Zara, by the way? I never got around to asking."
"Oh, it was good." He shrugs. "We talked a lot about getting her lab situated and getting on more grants ASAP."
"Sounded like a productive talk. Have you met again afterwards?"
"Yeah, it was." San clears his throat. "We met a few more times just to talk a bit more on some finer details for her lab and plans. Hope it was helpful at least. I turned her to Namjoon most of the time cause who else would know more?" Jongho laughs.
"Yeah."
"She's cool, though. Really sweet." Jongho snorts. "What?"
"I see Mingi's plan isn't really working well." San rolls his eyes, stuffing a few fries into his mouth before taking a bite. 
"Yeah, no. It's not." San shakes his head. "Don't even think about instigating, either."
"It's kinda fun. Plus, she's obviously attracted to you."
"No." San shuts it down.
"Why not? Why don't you just continue seeing where it goes?"
"I am, and I'm still in the same position I was when I first met her."
"Which is?"
"I respect her as a colleague and a colleague only." San glares at him. "I'm not going to force anything that isn't meant to happen." 
"Okay, fine. You're right. I'll get behind that." Jongho dips his last fry into the ketchup before looking back up at his bestfriend. "But at least promise me you won't be entirely closed off to it if it does naturally develop into something?"
"Uh." San pauses. He pauses not because of Zara or whatever Jongho's saying right now; he meant to agree, but he finds his thoughts suddenly roaming to.. you.
His curiosity, the need to learn more about you.
"Hello?"
"Sorry." San shakes the thoughts from his head in case Jongho can hear it or something. "Yeah."
"Definitely not genuine. What's on your mind?"
"Nothing."
"I can hear you thinking."
"Can you? That's an invasion of privacy."
"It's her, isn't it?"
"I literally have no idea what you're talking about." Jongho stares and gives him a certain look, causing San to divert his attention away. Away from him, onto anything, anyone nearby.
"Yeah, okay. That's all I needed to know." Jongho quietly sips on the rest of his beer before pushing his plate aside and sitting back into the seat. "San, make your decisions wisely."
"I already told you it was nothing."
"Okay." Jongho says in defeat, leaving the topic alone. All he wants is for San to be genuinely happy, just like their other friends do. But, he's also hoping San is smart enough to make the right [and wise] decisions.
Not be blinded by anything, causing him to make irrational and impulsive decisions based on his feelings.
"Anyway, are you good to go?" San crumples the napkin and tosses it onto his plate before standing up and grabbing his keys, phone.
"Yeah, I am."
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—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thespiffynerd
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thebestofoneshots · 3 months ago
Text
Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)
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Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.6 K Warnings: none Prompt: What about the rest of the school. This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Not proofread
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Chapter 59: Break On Through
You stayed like that, being cuddled by your boys for some more time, just basking in the reassurance of their warmth. No one said anything for a while, but the silence seemed to be the perfect way of wrapping up the previous conversation. Eventually, you sighed and looked at the clock.x
“Do you guys think we can still make it to dinner?” 
“We can bring you some food from the kitchen,” Sirius offered. 
“You can also take my chocolate,” added Remus. “I’ve got some in my pocket.” 
“I think I’d rather have dinner at the great hall,” you said. “Besides… we still have some planning to do.” 
“What do you mean, Étoile? What planning?”
“Well, didn’t you say we would infest the school with toads back at Prong’s house?” You asked with a smirk.
Dinner went all right, the entire school knew about the fire at Rosier’s Christmas Party, but they had covered their –and in turn your– tracks very well. It was as if only a few people knew about the Dark Wizard convention that it had actually been. 
They had published a whole article about the fire, about it being caused by unforeseen causes, and about it being fierce and of dark nature, which was why they couldn’t control it. Your father took back the mention of your implication and ended up saying you ran away because you were upset over your mother’s passing, and that he would give you space. 
They’d added an “in memoriam” section in which they remembered all the deceased on the fire, which included the honourable Cygnus Black of the Noble House of Black, your mother Avis, some other wizards that you didn’t recognise but that you were pretty certain had also been dark wizards, and, of course, near the end, there was Frey and Nina Blythe. In the paper, they claimed they had both been invited to the party and that, unfortunately, they had been way too close to the origin of the fire. There was no mention of the other pile of bodies that you’d seen, but if they had all been muggles, it was no surprise. 
At the end of the paper, there was a small caption that said: The Daily Prophet sends their gratitude to Arkalis, Orion and Silas for sharing the facts with us, without them we wouldn’t have been able to tell the story of The Great Fire Of Christmas. You took the newspaper, bunched it up in a ball and threw it on the floor, you would have burned it if you didn’t hate the idea of the few eyes that weren’t on you to turn your way.
News really did fly in the wizarding world, the Slytherin table was crowded with students; everyone was trying to talk to the few who had been invited to the party, but none of them seemed to want to speak much about it. Barty was talking about his amazing vacation in Thailand, and Evan was sitting next to him with his mouth completely shut. 
Regulus, had almost jumped out of his seat when he spotted you but figured he would have instantly diverted all of the attention on his table towards you and he knew that would be a terrible idea, so instead he sent you a look, you gave him a short nod in response and he turned back to respond a question from a Hufflepuff girl that you recognised as the same who had tried to flirt with Sirius back when you were James, Zia. She wanted to know if he had seen how the fire started, and if you had actually had anything to do with it. 
“I was with her most of the night. She wasn’t even close to the ignition point,” he retorted, loud enough for her and about the other half of people loitering next to them to hear. Reggie knew there wasn’t much he could do, but making sure your name stayed out of the school gossip was something that he could manage. 
“But why did her father mention that she might have been–” the girl insisted with a pout and a rather petulant tone. 
“Don’t you think Chancellor Silas was affected by the passing of his wife while he gave that first interview?” Regulus retorted before she could even finish her sentence. “She’s my friend, and I won’t tolerate people bad-mouthing her for the words of a grief-stricken man.” 
“You’re friends with that Gryffindor?” an older Slytherin boy asked. 
“And he’s not the only one!” intervened Dorcas, her imposing glare was enough to shut him up. Solacis sent a wink her way and then turned back to the conversation he had been having with Nox. 
When Reggie joined the conversation of the two boys (that was thankfully focused on Quidditch since the Cannons were close to winning the championship) the Hufflepuff girl huffed and walked towards Evan and Barty, to see if she could get information from either of them.
You used Remus and Sirius as a shield from prying eyes until you reached your table. “Pete,” you said extending your hands when you spotted the blond and leaned in to give him a tight hug. Peter had read about Christmas in the papers and while he had been queasy, James ’ letters had been enough reassurance, (he had no idea about your fight with Sirius since eveyone had been too wrapped up in themselves to worry about the news, last thing Peter knew was that you were at the Potter’s. “How was your vacation?” 
“It was fun,” he said with a smile and leaned in to give a short hug to the two boys flaking you. “I heard you’re in on the prank now?” 
You smiled, “I’m always in on the prank. Did you finish your quest?” 
He nodded as he patted his bag, “And you two?” he asked as he nodded towards Remus and you. 
You both had a good idea of the combination of spells that you wanted to use, you had talked about it, but you had never gotten to the creating/testing part.
“Kind of,” you said with an apologetic smile. “Where are the girls?” You asked as you realized none of your other friends were there.
“They had dinner at the Three Broomsticks,” James said, they said they would stay and unpack, but Wormmy wanted dinner.” 
“I was starving!” Peter responded. “My mum wanted to put me on a stupid diet and when I got here, I was–” he looked at you and cut himself off as if what he was about to say was not apt for your ears. If only he knew you’d seen him inside the broom closet in the map, “–active, and then the elves said there would be meat pies.” 
“I guess it gives us time to plan things out,” you said as you took some bread from the table and added some butter to it. 
“We’re setting it at night, right?” James asked, looking pleased with the fact that you had walked in with Remus and Sirius, with that smile of his that screamed “I know something that the rest don’t”.
“I guess I could come over after unpacking,” you shrugged. 
“You can take my cloak,” James said with a nod, he was making himself a very thick sandwich with roast beef, lettuce, tomato and… bacon? 
Your mouth watered at the idea of that sandwich, but decided not to go ham with the meat yet (pun intended), not when you hadn’t eaten it in days, it seemed like it could make your stomach upset. You did add a few stripes of bacon to your cheese and veggie sandwich thought. You were looking for something to add as a dressing when you saw Sirius’ hand sneakily cross over to your plate and take a piece of bacon from your sandwich.
“Sirius!” you complained as he plopped the piece onto his mouth. 
“Sorry luv, there wasn’t any left on the table.” 
You scoffed, and you were about to argue again when Remus took a piece from his plate and placed it over your sandwich, you turned to him with a surprised gaze. “Rem, you don’t have to do that, Sirius and I were just–” 
“But I wanted to,” he retorted with a sneaky smile and then gave Sirius a bit of a challenging look, which had the other boy scoff. This was not a contest, but if it had been one, then Sirius was determined to win it. You were eating your sandwich when the main dish turned into dessert, and the table was filled with all sorts of cakes, muffins, scones, meringues, pies and cookies. Sirius grabbed a few of your favourite cookies and dropped them on your plate, about at the same time, Remus had seen your favourite pie, pulled it from the bunch, and placed it on your plate. 
They threw each other a look, and in between bites of your sandwich, your plate started to –rather quickly– get filled with all of the desserts you normally enjoyed (not that you ever enjoyed them all at once!).
“What’s with those two?” Peter asked as he leaned closer to James, who just shrugged. 
“Haven’t they always been a little crackers?” 
You gave James a look and he winked your way. You were on the last bite of your sandwich when Sirius added another cookie to the pile and caused it to collapse over your clothes. Your top getting filled with merengue and bits of lemon curd while Sirius looked at you in shock and Remus threw him a murderous gaze. You picked up some of the merengue and brought it to your mouth, “Whichever of you fools picked the lemon tart was actually brilliant,” you said as you savoured it. Sirius threw a satisfied “I won” sort of look at Remus who just narrowed his eyes even further. “Shame it got all over their face,” you added with a shrug, you got a confused look from Sirius before you took your already messy hand and spread its lemon curd and meringue all over his face. 
“Starshine!” he complained with a gasp, which had your smile widening. He brought his hands to his face to wipe some of the meringue from his eyes. “Ugh! You’ve even gotten it on my hair!” 
“You got it on my jumper,” you retorted diverted while you took a piece of the cookie stuck in the sleeve and plopped it to your mouth. 
“Yours? Since when?” Remus complained. He’d given it to you before you came for dinner since he noticed you were a little cold. 
“Well,” you said as you brought your hand back into the mess in the sweater, “I think it was since…” You picked up some of the meringue with your finger and then drew it towards him, but he was quicker than Sirius and grabbed your wrist in the air before it hit his face. 
“You were saying?” He asked with an amused face.
You didn’t miss the teasing “Ufffff…” that Sirius emitted from the background. 
“I was saying that,” you said as you pulled your free hand towards the dessert pile and tried to dig it into some more pie. 
“Careful, little fox,” Sirius intervened as he pulled your hand from the pile before you even managed, you huffed in response. 
“You’re no fun,” you added with a pout.
“Oh, we’re plenty fun,” Sirius said as he eyed Remus, silently communicating something. “Aren’t we Moony?” 
“Delightfully so,” the latter confirmed. 
“We’ll show you just how much,” Sirius added with a confident smile and leaned over to kiss you, making sure to have his face so close to yours that he was basically transferring your previous mischief back at you, all the while he cornered you against Remus. You were laughing and trying to push Sirius away as he kissed you. 
“Rem,” you said in between kisses, “help, I’m being attacked,” you joked. 
“But you were going to attack me, sweetheart,” he retorted, leaning to the side enough so you wouldn’t actually have an escape route. He then took a napkin and carefully wiped your finger, he had thought of licking the stuff away, and he knew that he’d fluster you if he did, but Peter was already looking at the three of you with a rather shrewd gaze, and he didn’t want to make it too obvious before either of you were ready to tell him about it. Regardless, he did lean over a little closer and whispered, just loud enough for the two of you to hear, “Besides I’m rather enjoying the view…” 
You had gotten so flustered after he said it, that you were glad Sirius had spread meringue all over your face, and was still all over you, meaning his hair was covering most of your reaction. Eventually, you gave in and kissed Sirius back, ignoring the sticky meringue and the getting lost on his lips. You were both almost propped on Remus’ lap, and you could feel his hand on your neck, a soft pressure, as it to let you know he too was there, and he was enjoying it almost as much as Sirius was. 
James, who knew about the entire drama, was actually pretty happy with the fact that you and Sirius were back together, and while he would have been the first one to complain in a normal situation, this time around he was just sneakily looking at Remus, who was trying really hard not to blush under his friend’s suggestive gaze. 
“Get a room,” Peter said after clearing his throat for the fourth time. You and Sirius burst out laughing, and he dug his head into your nack, getting even more meringue all over you. 
“Such an asshole,” you said as you pushed him off, and he just kept on laughing. 
“As if you didn’t snog Annie Doxon like that,” Remus retorted with a wink. 
“Or worse,” you muttered as you looked for a napkin. Remus heard it, and had to hold back a laugh, masking it with a short cough. He took his handkerchief and started wiping away some of the pie from your face. 
“But not in public!” Pete retorted with a scandalized tone. 
“Remus was shielding us from the public,” Sirius said with a shrug. “And the table, I mean did you see anything other than my hair?” 
Remus gave you a teasing look, a small raise of his eyebrows as the two listened to their bittering. He had his hand on your chin and was now cleaning some of the lemon curd on your left cheek. He was clearly enjoying himself.
“But we still knew!” Wormmy argued.
Their little discussion went on for a while. Remus had even finished with his –actually quite slow– wiping off your face and you were both already eating some of the treats while Sirius and Peter kept going on about the do’s and don’ts of PDA. James had actually started paying closer attention to the conversation and sometimes added points for and against their arguments.
“But listen, a small peck is fine, straight-up snogging makes it awkward!” 
“Well you could just not watch,” Sirius argued. “You couldn’t even see it.” 
“But I could hear it! I cannot imagine how awkward it must have been for poor Moony.” 
“Mmmm, yeah, totally awkward,” Remus said with a small smirk, his sole purpose was to piss Sirius off slightly.
“Shut up Moony, you enjoyed it,” Sirius said before turning back to Peter. “I mean, you could just cover your ears.” 
Remus leaned closer to you and whispered, “And he doesn’t even know how much.” You turned to him as you almost choked with your own spit. He just gave you a pleased smirk in retort.
“Or use a spell,” James suggested, oblivious to Remus’ teasing, thankfully.
“No. But you don’t get it–” Pete started, clearly exasperated. At this point, you weren’t sure if Sirius was actually in on his point, or he was just getting a kick from getting a rise out of Wormmy. 
By the time the dishes disappeared, Sirius and Peter had agreed to disagree. Sirius insisted that PDA shouldn’t be vetoed, while Peter claimed that it wasn’t about vetos, but rather about being empathic of other people. 
“They don’t want to see you snogging Vixen, it makes it awkward.” 
“Well I think they kind of enjoy it,” Sirius said with a shrug. “No one complains when people snog in movies.” 
“For Godric’s sake, this is never gonna end, is it?” Remus said. 
You grabbed a piece of chocolate and started munching on it casually as he joined the conversation. “We need to unpack, how about you continue your little snogging or not quarrel in our room.” 
“Moony that’s a terrible idea, we won’t sleep if they do,” James intervened. 
“The reason we’re not going to sleep, is actually quite different,” you added with a smile. 
“That’s what she said!” Sirius teased, you threw him a look and he returned it with a wink. 
“Perv,” you joked.
“But Vix is right, if we want our little stunt to be ready by tomorrow, we better get moving.” 
You sighed, letting your head lean on Remus’ shoulder. “I should probably unpack too.” 
“And see Lily, she was worried,” James intervened.
You picked some of the desserts that had not been squashed and placed them on a napkin so you could snack while preparing the prank (although Peter had also veered off from the rest when he claimed he’d get some more sugar from the elves). 
“See you in a bit,” you said as you stepped out of the great hall. 
James waited just until Pete was out of earshot before he spoke, “Will you tell him about your thing?” 
“Yeah,” Sirius said. 
“We’re not sure when, thought,” Remus chimed. 
“We’re still figuring our thing out,” you added.
“Yeah? And what is it?” 
“Ménage a trois,” you responded James question. “James, don’t you dare laugh!” 
“I’m sorry,” he retorted with a smirk, “It’s just, I mean, it works.” 
“Indeed,” Sirius said with a proud sort of expression. By then you had already reached the the end of the stairs. 
“Password,” the lady in the portrait sang.
“Doodledeefondling,” Remus said confidently and the lady smiled.
“Mr. Lupin. Always knowledgable.” She smiled and opened the door. “It’s nice to see the rest of you troublemakers.” 
“Troublemaker?” you said with a scoff as you turned to look at her and got softly pushed by Sirius to walk inside. “I’m not a troublemaker!” 
“You kind of are,” James said with a shrug. “You wouldn’t be a Marauder if you weren’t.” 
“But Remus gets to be–” you changed your pitch into a higher mocking one– “Always knowledgable”  –your tone went back to normal– “And I’m troublemaker?!?” 
“To me, you’re a doll,” Remus said with a shrug. You turned to him with shock for like the fifth time that night. You were not used to his flirting, even if you quite enjoyed the flips in your stomach it caused. 
James groaned. “Will I now have to deal with the three of you flirting with each other all the time?” 
“Suck it up Prongs, it’s better than when we were fighting,” you retorted. 
“Yeah, and nous sommes amoureux.” 
“That’s ‘we’re in love’,” you said as you leaned closer to Remus since you’d noticed he often felt left out when Sirius did the french thing. 
“Yeah, I got that one,” Remus said with a sneaky smile and passed his arm over your shoulder. “Seadh, tha sinn gu cinnteach ann an gaol.” 
“I’m going to convince Hope to get me a copy of that fancy dictionary of hers,” you said with a sigh. 
“Faodaidh tu feuchainn,” he retorted with a shrug.
You had promised to write Hope, and you had exchanged a few letters while you were at the Potters’, perhaps it wouldn’t be such a terrible idea to actually ask her for a copy of her dictionary –you were sure Lyall would be able to make a copy of it using a simple gemino, although books were a lot harder to duplicate than most things, sometimes the text got messed up and resulted in hilarious (mostly non-sensical) text. 
“We’re going to our room,” James said as you reached the stairs, “See you later?” 
You nodded. “Try and collect all the s-bombs in one place, I’ll bring the books we talked about,” you said as you looked at Rem. He nodded in return, he was biting his bottom lip as he tried to hold back a smile. 
“We really should have seen it earlier,” Sirius said as he looked at the two of you interact. 
James, who was looking at Sirius pretty much gawking at you both nodded, “And I’m the extra blind one… Hey Vix,” he called your way, as he pulled the invisibility cloak from his bag and threw it your way, “don’t get yourself in more trouble.” 
“Can’t help it,” you said with a smirk as you caught the cloak. “Didn’t you hear Lady MacDougal? She said I’m a troublemaker…” 
“Lady McDougal?” Sirius asked with a frown.
“The Fat Lady,” Remus said as he threw him a side glance.
“She has a name?” he asked shocked.
“You thought she was Fat Lady?” you asked with a frown. 
James gulped, “Where did you two even learn that? Is it on a book?” 
“It’s not on a book,” you said with a frown. Both boys looked pretty shocked still. “Are you telling me, you’ve been living here for almost seven years and you never once thought of asking her name?”
“You did?” Sirius asked.
“Of course I did! I was not going to say ‘Good evening Fat Lady, could you please let me in?’ She would have left me outside!” 
“I just say the password,” James said with a shrug. 
“And that’s why you’re troublemakers and I’m Always knowledgable,” Remus said with a smile.
You laughed and shook your head as you started to walk up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories. Just before you lost sight of them, you turned around, “I’ll bring the Instant Darkness Powder.” 
Sirius gave you a suggestive wink and you were tempted to throw the cloak at his face, but Remus was quick to turn him around and pull him to walk the other way. At least one person has common sense in this relationship, you thought. Huh, turns out we really did need a third one in the end…
By the way, you reached your room, you hesitated at the door for a few seconds. Last time you’d seen –and talked– to any of the girls had been at the party. And while most of them believed you had been “sick” as Effie told everyone, Lily knew –thanks to James not keeping his mouth shut– that you had left his house.
 James had sent her a letter asking if you were staying with her or any of the girls (which would have been a way better idea than staying alone in Diagon, you should have thought of that before casting yourself out like you had been exiled from their lives all together). Again, James proved to have way more common sense than any of you did, surprisingly.
You took a deep breath and walked inside. “Hey, Luv!” Marlene said when she spotted you, “Was hoping to see you on the train, everything all right?”
“Yeah,” you replied, a little shocked by her casual tone, but at the same time immensely thankful. Mary came up to hug you after Marlene did. Lily was the last, a little hesitant as she looked at you and then pulled you into a very tight hug. 
“We need to talk,” she said sternly as she pulled you to her. You swallowed thickly at her words. There was a lot you had to tell her, and you were immensely glad that you still had friends who cared about you as much as James and Lily did, even if both wanted to murder you for being so stupid. “I’m glad you’re okay. I was scared.” 
“I went through a lot,” you whispered back. “But as many sad news I have to tell, there are good ones too.” 
Lily pulled back with an arched eyebrow and a hint of a smile. You nodded, and as you looked at your beautiful friend, you noticed that just behind her fiery hair there was something that you had not expected to ever see again. Sirius’ portrait of you.
Lily noticed your lost gaze and turned around, instantly seeing the picture, and then your gaze roaming all over your bed. Your things, everything you had left at your apartment (including the snake plushie from the Slytherins) were neatly placed on your bed, along with a currant-coloured envelope. 
“It was there when we got here,” Lily said. “When Marlene saw it was from Silas she was pissed, she almost burst it into flames.” 
“From Silas…” you repeated as you looked. Not quite daring to approach it just yet. “He sent my stuff back?” 
“And a gift too,” Marlene said with a rather angry tone. “If he really thinks a little something is going to atone for telling the press that you started the fire then he better–”
“Marlene–” Mary said a little sternly. “It’s not your fight.” 
“It is! It’s OUR fight, she’s our friend and if you won’t say anything against her piece of shit father then I will!” 
You smiled, you saw where both girls were coming from, their personalities shining through their thoughts almost perfectly, and you were glad to have them in your life, “It’s all right,” you said with a small smile. “I understand.” 
“Will you read it?” Mary asked as you approached the bed and took the envelope in your hands. 
Truthfully, your first thought upon seeing the envelope and the shiny red box behind it was to burn them as well –so much for not being deemed an arsonist– but you had done that to a letter before, and it had only brought you heartache. And while you didn’t expect whatever was in Silas’ letter to be nearly as revealing as Regulus’, something told you it wouldn’t be clever to get rid of it, at least not until you were ready to read it. 
“Not yet,” you said as you picked the envelope from the bed. It felt heavy in your hands, even if it wasn’t physically so, it was as if you were holding some type of weapon. You opened a drawer and shoved it to the end of it before closing it with colloportus. Not because you didn’t trust your friends, but rather because you didn’t want to accidentally open it yourself, see the letter and ruin your day. You then looked at the box, and pushed it under the bed before you allowed yourself to fall on the it with a small frown. 
“I’ll help you unpack,” Lily said as she opened your suitcase. 
“You don’t have to,” you said as you sat on the bed rather quickly. “I was just going to leave it there until I–” 
“I’m already done with my stuff, and I think the girls were going down for some refreshments.” 
“Tell me if you want it gone,” Marlene said nodding to the drawer you’d placed the letter in. “I won’t hesitate.” 
“I know,” you told her. You truly appreciated her support. 
“Good,” she said with a smile while Mary sighed. 
“Do you need anything?” she asked. “We’re going to see if Ackley has something good. I heard he brought muggle snacks.”
“Can you get us some Oreos?” Lily asked turning to Mary. “Have you tried them?” She added while turning to look at you and Marlene. Neither of you had. “Let’s hope he has some. And milk, we should get our hands on some milk.” 
“I think we can transfigure that one.” 
“We can?” Lily asked as if surprised by your suggestion. 
“I mean, I have the book, you have the expertise.” The three girls laughed after that, and Marlene and Mary left the room shortly after. 
Lily’s face quickly turned into one of concern. “What happened?” 
You took a deep breath. You weren’t sure you were ready to tell the story yet again, but you thought that perhaps skipping past the worst thing and focusing on the positive side would be a good idea, so you went with that. 
“...and now we’re all dating,” you said in the end. 
Lily was completely dumbfounded, you had sped through telling the story (especially the part in Gringotts) and she had listened to you quietly, not wanting to interrupt you at all since she was scared you’d just stop talking altogether. So she didn’t say a thing when you told her about running away from the Potters, or when you told her about the chair almost attacking you in the room. She was quiet as you mentioned Gringotts and the mirror, and she seemed truly happy when you told her you’d resolved things with the boys.
When she was sure you wouldn’t be speaking again, she pulled you into a tight hug, “My God, I’m glad you’re okay!” She said as she pulled you closer. “James said he was scared, I read about the party through your letters, and I’ve been keeping up with the newspaper, and I thought– well James was quick to reassure me, I was so happy you were staying with Remus, and then with the Potters but when you left his house, and there were news of other attacks on the Quibbler –that’s a new magazine they’re publishing, the creator graduated last year, and I knew him– I was even more scared for you! You should have sent me a letter or something you idiot!” 
“I didn’t want anybody to know where I was,” you said, “I thought I didn’t deserve it.” 
Lily sighed closing her eyes and biting her lip at your words, “Nina would have never wanted that.” 
Tears prickled your eyes after she said that. “I’m aware,” you said as you looked to the side and tried to blink them away. “She was always there, some part of her at least, and it was… protecting me, in the snow and in the mirror, she–” you bit your lip, and took in a ragged breath. 
Lily brought you back into the hug, “If I were her…” Lily started. And the worst part was, that she really could have been. She might have been older, but she was as much a muggle-born as Nina. “If I had been her, I wouldn’t blame you, I’d be protecting you too. And I think you should really continue using her wand.” 
You turned to look at it, now lying on the bed, long, thin, and certainly powerful. You would, the painful reminder of her every time you saw it would become the fuel to keep you going and to protect your friends above everything, just like she’d done.
“I know,” you said with a sigh. 
“Now, on the other subject…” she said as she pulled back while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. 
“Godcric heavens, please no,” you said as you hid your head between your hands. 
“Why not? I think it’s nice,” she said with a smile. “I mean as long as you’re actually happy with the result,” she added, looking at you attentively. 
You turned to look at her, you’d had plenty of friends before, but never someone as sweet and caring as Evans (unless you counted Remus, but he was your boyfriend now). “Trust me,” you said with as you took a deep breath. “I’m more than happy with the result.” 
“Oh, there’s a story behind that,” she said with a smile, shaking your shoulder for you to continue talking. 
“Well remember Marlene’s party? The dare?” 
Lily thought about it for a second and then straight up gasped. “Oh shut the fuck up, Sirius was into it, wasn’t he? How didn’t we figure this out sooner? We’re supposed to be the clever ones!” 
“Blinded by love,” you said with a shrug. “It’s the only way I can explain my stupidity.” 
She laughed at your words, mostly because she realised how true it was. The entire thing had started around the same time her relationship with James took off and she had been a little distracted by and with him. Not to mention he was almost always around the other marauders, which meant if everyone was interacting together, Lily wasn’t paying nearly as much attention to the rest of the boys as she would have. 
Lily helped you place some of the books from your bag in your desk (as neatly as she had accommodated hers) while you focused on putting all of your clothes back in your trunk and on some of the drawers in the wardrobe you shared with her. She was rather curious about your new relationship and she kept asking you questions about it, a few that you hadn’t even known how to respond, which had made both of you laugh merrily. 
Marlene and Mary came back while you were finishing up, their hands filled with all kinds of treats, both muggle and wizard by the looks of it. “They had Oreos!” Mary said excitedly.
“What’s that book you mentioned?” Lily asked while checking the shelf over your desk. “Is it The Transfiguration Tome: From Basics to Brilliance?” 
“No, I think it’s on Mastering... ugh…” 
“Mastering Metamorphosis: An Advanced Guide to Transfiguration?” 
“Yes! That one,” you said excitedly, and took the book when she passed it over, flipping through the pages until you found the right spell, “All we need is a jar of water…” 
On it, Marlene said as she brought it over from her bedside table. “Relashio scatere,” she whispered, and a stream of water left her wand, quickly filling the jar. She then turned to Lily with a smile, “Your turn.” 
She was reading through the spell with a small frown, “I wonder if an alteration to this one could give us something like chocolate or strawberry milk.” 
“I mean if not, we could probably figure out a spell that could.” 
Lily did the wand movements without casting the spells a couple of times before she approached the jar “Aqua vertere Lactos,” she said. The water quickly turned into white liquid. The four of you stared at it expectantly. 
“Think it worked?” Mary asked.
Lily frowned, “I’m not entirely sure, I fear I might have said something–” Marlene had already taken a gulp, and the expression she made was priceless.
“Sour milk,” she said with that same disgusted frown as she tried to shake away the taste from her tongue. “We made sour milk.” 
“Let me check,” Mary said as she pulled the book from Lily’s lap. “I think I known the problem, It’s lactis, not Lactos.” 
Marlene gave a look at the two girls, and stood up, taking the jar with sour milk and bringing it along to the bathroom. 
“It sounds the same, though,” Lily replied with a frown. 
“Is it an i or an e?” You asked.
“An I,” Mary retorted, showing you the page. 
“In Spanish, the I sounds like e, maybe it should sound like lact-es? Spanish and Latin are pretty much cousins, right?”
“Well, technically…” Lily started, Latin would be more like the mother of Spanish, but the information felt almost irrelevant at that point. “Actually, never mind, let’s try it that way,” she said in the end. 
Marlene had already returned from the bathroom, jar freshly filled and mouth still tasting slightly of that sour flavour that she found particularly distasteful. “Quick, I want to get this flavour off my mouth.” 
“Don’t pressure genius,”  Mary said as she lightly hit Marlene on the arm.
Marlene was about to retort, when Lily did the spell again “Aqua vertere Lactes.” 
The liquid, once again, turned white. Marlene looked at it, but this time she did not go straight to drink it. “Well then, try it,” Mary said as she motioned towards the jar with her head. 
“I tried it last time, it’s your turn.” 
“But I’m showing you the Oreos, it can’t be my turn!” Mary reasoned. The two girls turned to look at Lily, who seemed mortified at the idea of trying the milk. 
“I’ll do it,” you said as you took a small teacup and served yourself some of it. 
“So brave,” Marlene said dramatically as you brought the tea to your lips. 
“And?” Mary asked as you took the first gulp. 
You kept a serious face for a second, and then smiled, “Milk!” 
“Yeah?” Lily asked with a satisfied smile.
“I mean, it might be a little watered down, like Low Fat Milk, I think.” 
“Wait, really?” Marlene asked and served some herself. “Also a little like Mooncalf milk,” she added.
“Shit, that’s right!” you retorted after taking another sip. “It’s pretty much like Mooncalf milk.” 
“Mooncalf milk?” Mary asked with a small frown, “Those things have milk?” 
“Yeah,” you responded. “Pretty delicious, it’s good on potions too, though a little expensive since they aren’t all that easy to milk.”
“I’ve heard they use it on sleeping draughts and a Valerian Spring tea with some of that will for sure knock you out. My nan used to make it for me and Margo when we had nightmares.” 
“Right, mine did that too, although she never used Valerian Spring, she used Lavender,” you retorted. 
“Weirdos,” Mary said as she looked at Lily, they had both also served themselves a cup and were hesitant to taste it. Lily was the first one, and nodded, it did taste like low-fat milk, and she assumed the “mooncalf” taste that you and Marlene found had to do with the tinge of sweetness near the end.
“It’s good, try it,” Lily said as she nodded towards Marlene who was still looking at the milk like it had come from outer space. She eventually did take a sip and seemed pretty satisfied with the taste as well. 
“It’s like the milk left after you’ve eaten all the Frosties,” she said towards Lily who nodded.
“What’s that?” Marlene asked.
“Muggle cereal,” you retorted. You had tried it on a muggle hotel once. Silas had encouraged you to try all the interesting muggle food in the buffet. He’d mentioned something about broadening your horizons outside of the Wizarding World. You wondered how someone like him could be both open to the world and a complete bastard at the same time. “So what’s with the Oris?” 
“Oreos,” Mary corrected and pulled out a white and blue box with a little yellow “One Pound Size” label at the top, and the name OREO in capital letters with a small dot at the end. 
“Oh, they look like Bourbon Biscuits.” 
“They don’t have bourbon,” Mary said as she opened the box and laid them out in front of you. 
“Well that makes them less cool than Bourbon biscuits,” Marlene said with a pout. 
“Shut it,” Mary said and handed over a small plastic bag with round sandwich cookies on the inside, “Only they could compare Oreos to Burbon Biscuits,” Mary said almost exasperated. 
Marlene pouted playfully and opened the bag. Lily took a cookie and held it in her hands. “Okay, hear me out, this is how you eat them,” she said before splitting the cookie, licking the inside, putting it back together and dipping it in the milk. 
“Why?” asked Marlene with a frown. 
“Why?” asked Mary, almost scandalised. “Have I ever asked you why you always put on your left sock before the right one? It’s just because!” 
“But is it a rule? Like on the package or something?” You asked next. 
“It’s in the commercials!” Lily said, taking the cookie out of her milk, shaking it a little and bringing it to her mouth. Once she swallowed her first bite she seemed genuinely satisfied. “You gotta savour it.” 
You shrugged, and muttered a small “well then,” before you took a cookie from the bag and followed Lily’s instructions. The filling didn’t taste like much, but the cookie did become pretty soft once you dipped it in the milk, which you thought was nice. Even after you accidentally left it on the milk for too long and it got so soft that it broke inside your cup. 
“What the–” you said. Marlene seemed just as puzzled when hers did the same.
“What?” Asked Mary.
“It broke,” Marlene retorted, trying to fish hers out with her wand.
“Ah, right,” Lily said right after swallowing her cookie. “They are not charmed against getting soggy like wizard biscuits.” 
“That’s so weird,” Marlene said as she managed to levitate the soggy cookie and brought it to her mouth, “and mushy,” she added with her mouth full.
Both Lily and Mary laughed, while you attempted to fish the cookie with a small teaspoon. 
Mary had also brought some other snacks and you all enjoyed a pretty delicious and fun “Welcome Back” feast of sweets. They had brought other muggle stuff like Walkers Crisps, Flying Saucers, Nice Biscuits and Jammie Doggers. The latter of  whichLily seemed to like a lot and neither of you skipped the chance to tease her about. See, Jammie, was just a letter away from Jamie, and when Marlene said: “Don’t eat James yet!” you all bursted out into a laugh.
Lily froze as you said that, completely confused by her words when Marlene pointed at the packaging of the cookies. She did say it was Jammie as in Jam, not as in Jamie, but not even Mary cared about the technicalities and continued teasing her about it.
 They had also gotten a few Aero bars, and you asked to keep one after tasting them. You weren’t sure if Remus had tired them but you thought they were pretty interesting with their bubbly texture and whatnot, and since Rem had always been a fan of chocolate –or chocolate connoisseur, as Sirius called him–  you thought it would be nice to take some for him. 
“I’m so full,” Marlene said as she allowed herself to fall back on the floor. “I might not sleep today.” 
“As if,” Mary laughed. “You sleep like a log!” Marlene just answered with a disgruntled groan. 
“Shall we fix this up?” Lily asked as she waved her wand over it. The wrappers went straight to the trash while the leftover treats neatly accommodated themselves in a box that Marlene kept under her bed.
“So talented,” you said with a yawn as you looked at her dreamily, she pushed you by the shoulder playfully after that. 
“I swear, you two would make a fantastic couple,” Mary said. “If only you weren’t dating two idiots.” 
You were about to defend both of your boys when Lily answered for you, “But they’re lovely!” You ended up laughing after that. Not because you didn’t think they were, but because she didn’t even bother to correct her. “Besides, like Holden is any better!” Marlene gasped at that and threw a small cushion on Lily’s face. “Oi,” the latter complained.
Mary yawned after that, “Let’s just sleep!” She said, almost a little petulantly, her yawn had been so contagious you followed right up –not that you could actually sleep.
Marlene pulled the box from the floor as she stood up and left it under her bed before walking to the bathroom, washing her teeth and dropping on the bed. “Are you sleeping here?” Lily asked, almost in a whisper.
“I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much tonight,” you replied honestly. She gasped, eyes wide at the implication that. “It’s not like that!” you rushed out. “We’re planning something.” 
“Is it like… Marauders' business?” 
“I’ll absolve you of blame by keeping you in the dark,” you retorted. Mary was still in the bathroom, wrapping her hair carefully like she did all the time before bed. It was the only way in which her curls would look as wonderful as always in the morning. Not to mention the potion she had already become a master at brewing. 
Lily sighed, “I think Severus is on perfect duty tonight, you should be careful.”  
You smiled, “Thank you,” you said. “Not just for this. For everything.” 
“It’s what friends are for,” she replied with a smile and a small shrug. “Anything I should know? Things like bringing an umbrella, making sure my clock is set at the right time, staying away from a certain classroom–” 
“You like toads?” you asked.
“Only the chocolate ones,” she replied. 
You nodded, “Then maybe… don’t leave the room at all,” you responded with a mischievous air and she gasped. 
Your full name was uttered in the most cheerful tone you had ever heard, followed by a simple “...what the hell are you planning?” 
“Shhhh!” you retorted. “Marlene is asleep.” 
“Marlene’s asleep my ass,” she retorted in a hushed tone. “How could you even consider–” 
“Evans, stay out of it or I’ll tell James about your dream with him,” you said while raising an eyebrow. 
She gasped, “You wouldn’t dare.” 
You really wouldn’t dare. But instead, you leaned your head down and narrowed your eyes, “Wouldn’t I?” 
She huffed in return, and stood up, walking towards her bed. “Hope you get caught.” 
“You don’t, not really,” you retorted with a teasing smile when you noticed the little shake of her shoulders, she was laughing. 
“You better keep them away from me,” she retorted. 
“I’ll try,” you said after she walked into the bathroom. 
“Keep what away from her?” Mary asked as she stepped out and walked inside the room.
“You’ll see tomorrow,” you retorted with a mischief-filled smile.
Glossarie: Seadh, tha sinn gu cinnteach ann an gaol - Yeah, we’re definitely in love nous sommes amoureux - we’re in love Faodaidh tu feuchainn - you can try
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hannieween · 11 months ago
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lunacy | city lights series | h.js
You could no longer hide your infatuation over Joshua Hong. It was becoming painfully obvious, though you weren't sure to what extent he was aware of this. Or if he even cared, for that matter.
✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbors with benefits ✮ word count: 18.8k
↣ part i – part ii – part iii – navi post – other fics
₊🎧: underwater - baekhyun ♡︎ | shutdown - moon byul and seori ♡︎ | beautiful liar - monsta x ♡︎ | more - i.m ♡︎ ₊ nsfw warnings under the cut!!
✮ warnings: mentions of menstruation, smut with plot, dom Joshua, sub reader, big dick Joshua, phone sex, dirty talks, foul language, corruption kink, praise kink, exhibitionism: bj in a public space, cum swallowing, multiple sex scenes, masturbation, oral sex (f, m), brat taming: orgasm denial and pussy slaps, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names: pretty girl, baby, princess, sweetheart, bunny (hers) baby boy (his)
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part iv
In your few years being a full time writer, you've made little traditions to keep for yourself.
For example, each time you started outlining your drafts, you'd go to a special spot in your favorite library, near the windows to watch people walk by on the streets. It helps your brain flow with ideas and brainstorm for hours.
Whenever you need to come up with stronger ideas for a plot, or find yourself in a bit of a writer's block, you go to the rooftop of your building. A tradition which has started to taint under the memories of you and Joshua, because quite inevitably, you start thinking of him.
And whenever you submit a finished draft, you tend to go elsewhere. Literally, you buy a ticket and go somewhere else, distract yourself for a little while, even sometimes, you give yourself the luxury to stay in a hotel for a night or two and come back feeling like a new person.
This time, you only bought a ticket for same day travel. But the method of transportation was by train. Which suited your needs a little bit more: you could see the landscape roll by your eyes, the openness of the outskirts of your city was beautiful—so different from looking out the window and seeing big tall buildings and billboards.
You've only visited this city once, when you published your first book years ago. As a young writer, you didn't have much money to go anywhere but there.
But you came across a gem: the town was colorful, it had its own quiet magic of a place loved and celebrated by the people who lived there.
When you first visited, you felt alien to the silent movement of the day. It was so strange to you that at first you got an eerie chill that maybe you got to a ghost town by accident, being so used to the buzz of the city throughout the day.
That's why you chose to come here as soon as you submitted your finished draft. It felt like sending a love letter and then hiding under your bed covers.
There was a small creek in the middle of the beautiful town, and a wooden bridge stood above it. You sat on a bench near the creek, the only noise filling your brain was the current of the stream.
Until the buzz of your phone interrupted that peace.
[9: 14 AM] Yen ✿: good news! [9: 14 AM] Yen ✿: you've been green lighted the second installment to your trilogy   [9: 14 AM] Yen ✿: yay! 🥰 [9: 15 AM] you: What? they already finished reading it? I sent it at midnight ???  [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: of course you're up already  [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: they haven't read it yet, that much i can tell you but  [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: idk what to say girl [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: they already want to know you're working on book 2
That doesn't make sense, you said to yourself.
[9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: why do i feel like this is bad news  [9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: are u not excited or  [9: 16 AM] you: I am! this is great!  [9: 16 AM] you: I'm already working on book 2 :) [9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: great i'll tell them  [9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: btw what happened to mr hot neighbor  [9: 17 AM] Yen ✿: 👀👀  [9: 17 AM] you: Can we have that conversation on another day? I don't want to think about him right now [9: 17 AM] Yen ✿: fine
But it was entirely too late.
Memories of the last night you spent with Joshua started to flood your mind. You saw him last that Saturday night when you asked him to continue with your little agreement of being fuckbuddies.
He agreed. So you agreed to not see each other on Sunday, but what did happen was that he finally asked for your number. Though as expected, he hadn't texted yet.
That was another reason for your departure today. As soon as the clock hit midnight and it was Monday, you sent your file with the finished draft of your book and booked a ticket for the magical town you remember having visited in your first publishing experience.
Will he text? He hadn't all Sunday, so you didn't see it foreseeable that he would on Monday. Well, what do you actually know about him? You knew a few things. You seemed to have measured his behavior really well but what else did you know?
Nothing.
Not his birthday, his favorite color, his favorite song or movie. Does it matter? He's your fuckbuddy. There are no rules as to what you should know about the person you're fucking.
There may be a few details that are pertinent to doing what fuckbuddies do, yes. Like protection and being tested and such, a thing that you already had covered with Joshua, obviously.
But, should you know your fuckbuddy's favorite color? You knew that he didn't like to kiss you while fucking you, for example. And he conveniently fucks you in positions that distance your hands from his face so you can't touch him either.
Why does that feel like a bitter pill to swallow? Ah, yes. You have a terrible infatuation over him. Like a thorn that you do not dare to remove. In fact, you like the pain you get from it because it's the only thing you'll get.
You let out a broken sigh, swallowing your tears. You felt particularly emotional that day—a sign of your upcoming cycle, so your hormones were working twice as hard.
Another reason to stay away from Mr. Hot Neighbour, if you will.
Despite the sunny day, the temperature was growing colder, so that the season was changing to winter. You liked the mixed taste of it, the sunny sky and chill in the air, sitting by the peaceful creak of the ghost town.
You had a pending decision looming in your mind from the moment you took the train in the break of daylight. Should you tell Joshua how you feel? Is it something you thought helped your situation?
There was nothing you could compare your situation to your past experiences. Your past lovers never got to be as relevant as Joshua. No lover ever shook your heart so hard to the point of hurting. It wasn't just the sex, or his crushing beauty—you were well aware of that. 
You just fell in love of the way your bodies synced together. The way that he seemed to hear your thoughts and read the way your body moved so well. He made you feel seen.
Maybe it's not a great idea to confess to him. But you could try another way, maybe taunt him with silly questions about love, like you did before. 
After what seemed like an hour had passed, you opened the small portable cooler you brought with your person. You came prepared with a meal to have in the quietness of the creak, hearing the sounds of nature and the quiet life of the little town around you.
It was a peaceful day, the only thing that disrupted it was your pending talk with Joshua, which still resided in your head, wasn't even a fact yet.
You planned to stay until sunset, which due to the fact that winter was onset, happened early. You chose to read a book on the two hour trip back home, which was a good choice since it had been a while since you read something other than your own work.
In the elevator of your building, you found yourself wishing for a night of peaceful uninterrupted sleep. You didn't want to suffer from insomnia for a good while, although you knew that with your second book green lit, that might be happening soon.
You stifled a yawn as you got to your apartment. It was 7 PM and you decided that it might be a good idea to prepare yourself for bed. You drew yourself a bath, had a small meal and went overboard and induced yourself to sleep with melatonin—for good measure.
The good thing was that it was a dreamless, heavy sleep.
You woke up the next day feeling incredibly groggy and much to your demise, felt the silent announcement of the beginning of your cycle. With a groan, you dragged yourself out of bed and kick started your day.
[11:55 AM] joshua: bunny, are you busy today?
You stared at your screen for a good while. You were in the middle of your daily chores, cleaning your mail and responding to some others when your phone buzzed on your desk.
You turned the silent mode on and decided to respond to it later.
Why does he have to call you that? Does it hurt him to call you by your name?
Easy, you told yourself.
[18:31 PM] joshua: i'll take that as a yes ? [18:34 PM] you: I'm free tonight
You bit your lip. God, why do you feel like a teenager that time you first talked to the person you had a crush on?
[18:34 PM] you: But we can't do anything [18:34 PM] joshua: what do you mean ? [18:37 PM] joshua: are you in?
Your stomach dropped.
[18:37 PM] you: Are you outside my door right now?  [18:37 PM] joshua: where else? [18:37 PM] joshua: open up [18:37 PM] you: Let yourself in
You removed your cancellation headphones from your head and attempted to smooth your hair to appear at least decent and not like the little study mouse you were the whole day.
"Bunny? Where are you?" you heard his sweet voice call from the living room.
"In the study," you replied just as Joshua pushed the door open, sneaking his head in first.
"Hi there," he smiled at you sweetly, looking around like a child in a toy shop. "Wow, this room is so... you."
You laughed. "Is that so?"
"I like it," he nodded, looking at the shelves upon shelves stacked with books and clutter, collection toys and figures from your favorite media. Fairy lights on the walls, a couch on the side that hosted your small army of squishmallows that moved the first night that Joshua slept in.
"Thank you," you replied with an excited smile.
"So? What do you mean we can't do 'anything'?," he did bunny ears over the word.
"I'm... going through stuff," you said, making a circle motion with your palm toward your lower belly.
"Oh," he blinked, then cocked his head to one side. "And?"
It was your turn to blink in bewilderment. "What do you mean 'and'? Is it not super gross for men to even hear the word menstruation?"
"Maybe, for some. I don't know. I don't care," he shrugged with ease. "You've never had period sex, I take it?"
"Joshua! No!" you chastised, your stomach fluttering uneasily when he laughed.
His nose wrinkled as he giggled. "Sorry, but you can't expect me to be grossed out by a little blood. I've done it before, if it makes you feel better."
"It does not," you replied with sincerity, crossing your arms and standing from your armchair.
He was wearing what he usually wore when he was home. Sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. His hair was unlike the last time you saw him, it hung loose and you just loved it, it made you want to run your fingers through his dark locks.
"Well, if you don't want to have sex tonight, maybe we can chill instead, if you want," he shrugged as he took some aimless steps in your office room.
Your stomach tightened. "What do you mean?"
"We could watch a movie," his hand brushed his hair distractedly.
"I-I was actually about to go out," you blurted.
"Oh, you were?" his eyes scanned you briefly.
"To the drugstore. I'm... running out of supplies," you muttered, feeling your blood run to your cheeks.
He smirked. "Bunny, you don't have to be shy with me. Come on, I'll come with."
"O-okay," you muttered. "Let me get a bag."
It felt weird to walk down to the drugstore with Joshua strolling by your side. Doing simple ordinary things with him was something new to you, since you only saw him in your bedroom, and occasionally on the rooftop of the building you both live in.
When you found yourself wishing he would take your hand, you dug both your hands on the large pocket of your hoodie.
"How did it go? Your book thing," he asked, breaking the ice.
You smiled at his choice of words. "It went well. They want me working on the second book already."
"Oh, that sounds good," he gave you a gentle smile. "But they don't give you like, time to rest or something like that?"
"Well, I screwed up a bit because I was a little ahead of deadline and told them the second book was in the works, so there's no time to rest," you shrugged.
"I get it," he nodded. "I don't get days off either. It's either recording vocals, writing music, networking or something else."
"Did you have to work yesterday too?" you asked with genuine curiosity.
"I went back to the studio because Jihoon wanted me to re-record some lines. We went on a rabbit hole after that 'cause he's nervous about possibly working with major producers. We're self-produced for now," he smiled and rolled his eyes at the memory.
"Was it good though, at the end?"
"Oh, yeah. The perfectionist he is, he didn't stop until he okayed it," he nodded and opened the door of the drugstore for you and you muttered a word of thanks. "And the day before... Sunday. Yeah, I normally go out with my mom—or try to."
"Oh?" you pushed your eyebrows up. "What did you do this time?"
"We had lunch and then visited a botanical garden. Drove her home after that," he told you with an absent smile, probably remembering his day with his mom.
Your heart swelled with fondness. "That sounds really nice, Joshua," you replied, trying not to show the emotion you felt.
"Yeah," he seemed to snap himself from his train of thought, looking up to the aisles. "I don't know where I'm going, I'm following you."
You laughed. "Don't worry, you won't get lost baby boy," you said with an air of confidence as you turned to the aisle where you'd find what you needed.
"Did you just call me baby boy?" he giggled goofily.
You ignored him, throwing in the basket your supplies.
"You told me you needed supplies, bunny. What's this?" he said, looking up to the shelves. "Snacks?"
"These are my supplies," you said with a whine. "Don't judge me."
"I'm not judging," he lifted his palms to your view. "Whatever you need."
"I actually do need to collect something from the counter," you said, fishing your prescription from your pocket but not showing it to him.
"Oh, are you sick?" he inquired as he followed you out of the snacks section and toward the counter.
You kindly handed your prescription to the lady and she handed back birth control pills. Then when it was time to pay, you tried to hide your blushing face to Joshua, who could probably notice your natural shyness kicking in, no matter if he stood behind your back.
"Are you on the pill? Why did you never tell me?" he muttered beside you as you both walked out of the drugstore with your bag full of supplies.
"Not yet," you frowned, though your face felt hot. "In theory and according to this, I begin today," you told him, keeping your eyes glued to the sidewalk.
"I see," he replied, seemingly thoughtful. But then, he asked: "So we're watching movies tonight?"
"Yeah, that'd be nice," you admitted. "It's been ages since I watched a movie at home—or at the cinema, for that matter."
"Cinema," he smiled. "Sometimes I forget that you're an old lady."
"Shut up, Joshua," you scoffed but couldn't help the growing smile on your face.
The only way you could describe your apartment was something akin to a fortress: never short of food or supplies, you had everything you ever needed for entertainment, you worked there most of the time. You were lucky to have made it your little fortress—and well, also you worked hard to keep it that way.
When you got back home with Joshua, you freshened up in the bathroom and changed into comfier clothes and brought a blanket to the living room, where you had a decent tv screen.
"What do you prefer for tonight, princess?" Joshua asked as you returned to the living room wearing your comfiest attire.
"Aren't you choosing tonight?" you asked as you sat beside him on your couch and threw the blanket over your legs.
"What, you're not sharing?" he asked, looking at your fluffy blanket.
"I can bring another blanket for you," you blurted, feeling deeply embarrassed.
"What if I only want to share yours?" he pouted cutely, he even made puppy eyes.
Don't torture me like that, your inner voice pleaded to him. 
"I- we can share," you smiled abashedly. "Sorry, I just didn't think-"
"I'm just playing with you, bunny," he laughed merrily.
You stopped cold. "I- what do I do?" you blurted. "Do you want to share or not?"
"Oh, you sweet thing. Alright, let's share," he exhaled. "We're watching horror, then."
"O-okay," you muttered, feeling deeply flustered at the whole exchange.
The blanket covered you and Joshua perfectly. It was large enough to cover your whole bed. So you confidently propped your feet bundled up in fluffy socks on your coffee table without the blanket falling off or uncovering Joshua.
"You can do the same," you suggested to him after he saw you put your feet up on the surface of your otherwise neat coffee table.
"You're weird," he muttered, but followed you nonetheless, extending his large legs on the coffee table with yours.
"Why?" you frowned.
"You don't seem like the person who would tolerate feet on a table," he laughed. "But you always prove me wrong in something."
You felt your cheeks grow hotter. "What- why? Why does that make me weird? I just wanted to stretch my legs."
"I'm not saying it's a bad thing," he shrugged. "I mean, your apartment is always super clean and you're a bit haughty about certain things so I just thought-"
"I am not haughty!" you gasped.
"Ah, there we go again," he let out his high pitch giggle.
"Shut up, Joshua. You're not perfect either," you muttered with a pout.
"I know, sweetheart," he laughed harder.
"You-you're cocky," you blurted. "You're... you're..."
Joshua arched his eyebrows, waiting for your best worst descriptor.
But you just sighed: "God, you might be perfect."
He laughed harder. "Are you sure you're not ill? Let's take you to the doctor," he joked.
You scoffed. "Ugh, I'll take it back. You're the worst."
"I'm anything but perfect, baby. Far from it, actually. But I appreciate your lukewarm compliment," he said, sliding a hand under the blanket and finding your thigh, to which he gave a gentle squeeze.
With a jolt, you rose from the couch, visibly startling him. "I almost forgot my snacks! D-do you want something to drink?"
You hid yourself in your kitchen and heard his distant reply. "I'll have whatever you're having."
A silent sigh escaped you. You needed to find some kind of rein to your emotions when Joshua was around you.
"Does hot tea and milk sound okay?" you asked.
"Sounds great. Thanks," you heard.
You returned with a tray with two mugs and a plate full of your favorite sweet snacks. Joshua frowned slightly then you set the tray between you and him, setting a clear barrier between you two.
If he noticed you were creating some distance, he didn't say anything. And you silently thanked him for it.
Joshua chose a horror movie. If he did it because he enjoyed horror, he didn't look the part, not one bit. His face wore a frown in disgust throughout the whole thing—and it wasn't only because of gory depictions.
The film was deeply disturbing, to anyone in their right mind, it would seem. But you occasionally giggled at certain moments when Joshua flinched or even jumped on the couch. You never bat an eye, you even found the story a bit flimsy, reliant in shock value and with very evident plot holes.
"That was... something," you muttered as the credits rolled on the screen.
"You are scary," he told you, still looking deeply startled.
You let out a laugh. "Why?"
"You laughed when the lady found out that her daughter was dead!" he pointed with an obvious tone.
"What, it was funny," you shrugged. "I dunno, the face she made was funny. Thought it was a weird cry face."
His mouth parted, frown deepening. "That's psycho talk," he shook his head.
"Chill, it's just a movie," you huffed.
"You pick next time," he rolled his eyes. "But let's not watch horror in a while. I've had my fill."
You laughed. "You want me to hold you?" you teased.
"Yeah, that would be nice. Please and thank you," he mumbled in a low tone.
You realized he seemed serious for a moment. "Wait, you're not joking?"
"Yeah, I am," he laughed. "Unless you want to, though," he nodded at you with a cheeky smile that could only mean that he was now teasing you.
"I'm fine, thanks," you shook your head. "I don't find cultish things scary."
"What do you find scary, then?" he inquired, he leaned his head back on the sofa and turned to see you.
You were eating on your snacks. You were not hungry, just felt the need to keep your hands and mouth busy.
"I... don't know," you replied after a long minute.
"Interesting," he muttered.
"What is?"
"You are," he frowned slightly.
"Were you expecting me to curl up in a ball and ask you to hold me?" you taunted.
"Kind of? Yeah," he said, his eyebrows arched a bit.
"Well, maybe we can keep searching for the one horror movie that makes me want to do that," you suggested with a playful smile on your face.
He narrowed his eyes. "Oh, you might be a bit crazy," he joked. "Lucky for you, I'm a bit crazy too."
"Oh, yeah? And why does that make me the lucky one?"
"Because I might say yes," he muttered with a smirk.
"Deal it is, then," you lifted your chin almost proudly and tended your hand to him.
He shook it contentedly. "Deal. But not tonight, though. Maybe in a month—or two."
Your chest tightened at the sound of that. Time with him, making plans, made your heart flutter in your chest.
"Sure, whenever you're ready, baby boy," you replied with a grin.
He closed his eyes slowly. "God, why did I do to deserve this," he muttered with a downturned smile.
You rolled your eyes, then threw the blanket off your legs. "Bathroom break," you announced for the nth time, since during the movie you had a few. "I'll be back."
When you finally returned, Joshua was fast asleep on your couch, breathing deeply with his arms crossed on his chest.
The sight of it was warm, almost too cute to even process. You felt the urge to grab his cheeks and pinch them or squeeze the air out of his lungs.
Maybe you are crazy.
You picked up the tray from the couch, the barrier that kept his hands away from you and placed it on the kitchen counter, deciding to clean up the following morning.
Deciding on what to do with the large man asleep on your couch, you sat quietly beside him. Twiddling with your fingers. Should you wake him and tell him to go home? Should you suggest that he stay the night? He lived right next door, he could just walk to his bed in less than a minute.
But you wanted him to stay with you.
Then suddenly, he jerked awake with a loud grunt, throwing his hands at you like big claws. "Bwaaah!"
You let out a screech in sheer terror at having him give you the scare of your life. "Goddamnit, Joshua!" you slapped him on his shoulder repeatedly.
He laughed himself silly. "Got you," he muttered with teary eyes, not even trying to dodge or cover himself from your attacks.
"Yeah, yeah," you stuck out your tongue at him, making him laugh harder again.
"You're too cute," he said, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Screw you," you pouted.
He rolled his eyes. "Oof, don't go around saying that. You potty mouth," he teased with a grin still plastered on his stupidly beautiful face.
You scoffed, but fell short of witty replies to give him.
"How are you feeling?" he asked softly.
It took you two seconds to understand what he was referring to.
"Oh, I'm okay. Well, not okay but I just don't feel like dying yet," you muttered with an offhanded air.
He pouted cutely. "I'm going to pretend I know what that means."
Joshua was a few inches away from you, just at hand's reach, but you didn't dare touch him. Even if you were dying to.
You laughed. "I'm fine, Joshua. I can deal with the pain just fine."
"Oh, okay," he shrugged slightly. "I was about to offer a back rub, but given that you're okay..."
"I'd like that," you nodded, feeling your cheeks grow hotter. "I'd like that very much, please."
Joshua grinned. "Lie down, princess," he instructed, patting on his thigh once to indicate the place where he wanted you to lie your head.
You did so, lying on your tummy, head resting on his thigh and stretching your legs on the sofa. His large hands started massaging softly on your lower back, over your comfy clothes.
"Oh, oh? That feels good," you exclaimed, feeling bewildered. "You're really good at this."
"Why do you sound surprised?" he asked and you darted a look at his face, he flashed you a grin as he caught your eye.
"I-I'm not—well a little," you muttered as his hand pressed softly on your lower back alleviating the stress from the cramping you've had all day.
You scrunched up your face when he got to a region that activated your nerves, it didn't exactly hurt, but it made you clench your muscles in response.
"Does that hurt, bunny?" he muttered.
"It feels weird," you replied. "Keep going."
You heard a soft chuckle. "Do you like this?"
He used both hands to rub your lower back, fingers digging at the sides of your hips, applying just the right amount of pressure to your skin to make you groan in satisfaction.
"Yeah. Feels so good," you muttered, closing your eyes.
You could feel yourself letting loose, so much that you weren't aware when you fell asleep on his lap. What woke you up with a start was feeling your drool dripping from your parted lips and onto his lap.
The back rubs had stopped, in fact everything had stilled and when you darted a look up, you found Joshua asleep, still in the same sitting position he was when he was giving you back rubs.
It was 2 AM, you suspected that you had fallen asleep around 11 PM. So Joshua didn't dare move under the risk of waking you up.
He slowly stirred after noticing that you had moved from his lap.
"Hi there," he whispered groggily with the ghost of a smile.
"Let's go to bed," you muttered, not caring that you could simply tell him to go home.
You got up from your couch and dragged him along, silently thanking him for not protesting against your wishes.
He took off his large t-shirt as you threw the bed covers and climbed your bed before he did.
"What?" you asked when you saw him standing by the foot of the bed, his bare torso exposed to your view.
"Do you have an issue if I sleep in my briefs only?" he asked, genuinely curious.
You laughed. "Please. We've slept naked before," you muttered, but he didn't budge. "Yeah, 'm okay with it."
He took his sweatpants off and climbed to your bed, lying next to you.
You instinctively scooted closer to him and he smiled, sliding an arm under your body to drag your body so that now his chest was pressed to your back, his arms circling you so he was practically hugging you from behind.
"Are you feeling better?" he muttered, his nose slightly bumping the back of your ear.
"Yeah. Thank you Shua," you replied, snuggling in his embrace.
"Here to help," he whispered before pressing his lips on your hair.
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The rest of the week went smoothly.
Joshua had taken a liking to texting you when you least expected him to. Sometimes, he'd ask random questions, just to taunt you and make you blush. As if he knew the effect he had on you even without interacting with him in person.
[18:23 PM] joshua: are you free tonight princess? [18:23 PM] joshua: wait don't tell me [18:23 PM] joshua: you're working
You had been keeping him at bay all week by telling him you have to outline book two of your trilogy. Which was true, you unburied some old drafts, but decided that given the fact that book one underwent a lot of changes, book two would have to adopt those changes too.
But the reason why you made yourself busy was to keep yourself away from him. You were too nervous to face him again after that Tuesday night—in which you purely hung out together, no sex.
You let out a sigh.
[18:24 PM] you: I'm free tonight  [18:24 PM] you: Why?
It was now Saturday. You hadn't expected to see Joshua that night, since he usually had something planned during the weekend.
That being said, you totally weren't expecting a call from him.
"Yes?"
"God, you might be an old lady. Who answers the phone by saying 'yes'?" you heard him laugh.
"I'm hanging up," you cooed, trying to hide your smile.
God, how can he get you this flustered already?
"Wait, wait," you heard a giggle. "What are you wearing right now?"
"Really? Really, Joshua?" you gasped.
"No, wait I mean—don't hang up. I'm picking you up in an hour. We're going out," he told you, and you could tell that he was walking hurriedly, his breath hitching up as the buzz from the street filtered through the phone.
Your stomach dropped. "What, where? Jesus, give me some warning next time," you stood up from your desk and went to your bedroom.
"I am giving you a warning, right now. We have a gig tonight and it's a big thing for me. I want you to be there," he spoke in a lower tone, as if not wanting anyone else to hear.
"Well, I'm in my pyjamas. Hope that's fine with you," you joked. You were in fact not wearing pyjamas, but comfy clothes.
"The bunny pjs?" he inquired in a lower tone, but you could tell that he was smiling. "Oh no, sweetheart. I love to see you in that but I'm afraid that's not going to do."
"Well that's what you're getting," you smiled despite the blood rushing to your cheeks.
"Come on, baby. Wear something nice for me?" he purred into your ear. 
You sighed in pure delight and felt lucky that he wasn't there to see that you were aroused already.
"What do you want me to wear?" you almost mewled, not caring about how lewd you sounded.
"Whatever you want, princess. You look good in anything," he muttered.
"I'll wear something cute," you responded, your voice high and almost sweet for him. "And I'll wear something underneath for you only, if you want."
"Fuck, I'm getting hard already," you heard him sigh.
Your eyes widened. "Really?" your voice rose an octave higher. "Why?" you asked innocently.
"Just thinking about you gets me hard," he groaned, but you could tell he was smiling by the sound of his voice.
"Joshua! You're in public! Don't say those things aloud," you chastised him, but couldn't ignore that hearing that made you instantly wet and your core flutter in excitement at his words.
"I just got to my car, princess. Calm down," he laughed faintly. "No one can hear me here. Or see."
"Well, in that case, I'm really, really wet for you right now," you muttered with a sigh as you sat on your bed and slowly lied down.
"Fuck, baby. I love hearing you say that," he purred in a raw tone.
"Yeah? What else do you love hearing me say?" you dared ask.
Maybe your newfound confidence was due to the fact that he wasn't present in your bedroom right now. Your heart was thumping hard against your chest, and your face felt hot at the daring words that were escaping your mouth.
But you didn't care, all your focus was on the voice in your ear.
"I love the way you say my name," he confessed almost sheepishly, as if he was almost admitting that to himself.
"Shua?" you asked, playing dumb. 
"No, no. That's not my name, baby," he muttered in a tone of false reprimand.
"Joshua," you smiled.
"Mmm yeah. I love hearing you say my name. Love it when that's all you can say while I fuck you silly," he admitted, his voice dangerously low.
"Mmm, yeah?" you echoed as your free hand sneaked beneath the band of your sweatpants, burying itself beneath your soaked panties.
You let out a mewling sound when your fingers found your already pooling core.
"Are you touching yourself, princess?" he asked after he heard you sigh in pleasure.
"Yeah," you admitted. Your wet fingertips had already started rubbing circles around your swelling clit. "Wanna come and see for yourself?"
"Fuuuck," you heard him sigh heavily. "I'm a bit far away right now. But I'd love to be there, princess."
"Can y-you talk to me?" you asked with a tiny voice then bit your lip to avoid moaning louder, feeling your legs starting to tense up.
"Are you touching yourself with your fingers?" he asked and you said yes. "God. I'd love to see that one day."
"Yeah? Why?" you asked with a frown.
"I think it's really fucking hot. I want to see you play with your toys until you're spent," he sighed and you imagined him smiling. "I want to hear you say my name while you do it, too."
"You think that I think of you when I touch myself?" you dared ask again as your fingers gently swirled around your sensitive bud.
"You don't?" he bit back.
"Yeah, I do," you admitted despite yourself. "How did you know?"
"Just a small hunch," he sighed, is he smiling?
"I always think of you when I come. I imagine it's you that's making me come," you blurted.
"I'm right next door," he groaned. "You know you can just tell me and I'll be there."
"But what if it's super late?" you pried.
"I don't care,"  he confessed with a low groan.
"Are you touching yourself too?" you asked with a high pitch whine.
"I can't. Not unless I want to be charged for public indecency," he muttered and you could tell he was smiling.
"Are y-you hard?" you asked as your fingers pinched your swollen and slick covered clit.
"Yeah, baby. I am," he sighed. "You've been ignoring me a little this week," he laughed.
Your heart clenched and a moan escaped your lips as your fingers toyed with your clit. "Y-you're not seeing other people, then?"
"You're asking me right now if I'm fucking other girls?" he muttered with a groan that didn't denote his arousal anymore. "Why would I want to do that?"
"I dunno, I figured-"
"You're the only one I'm fucking. I haven't been with anyone else since you," he muttered reproachfully. "We've talked about this before—does this get you off, baby? Do you like to hear that you're the only girl I want?"
"Yeah," you admitted, shutting your eyes close as your body responded with a wave of heat at the sound of his words, you groaned and twitched in your bed a little.
"Is my pretty girl possessive? Is that it?" he muttered again, and in your inner eye you saw him grinning like an idiot.
"Yes, I am," you gasped as your fingers pressed on your clit and massaged it in the only way you knew would get you closer to your sweet release.
"Oh, you greedy, greedy little thing," he tutted. "Are you close, baby? By the way you're breathing I can only assume that-"
"Yes, 'm close, Joshua," you whimpered, your fingers working faster on your clit.
"I wish I could see that right now," he replied. "You don't know how much I've needed you this week."
"Fuck," your legs twitched and a moan coiled in your throat.
"I'd have you every day of the week if you let me, baby," he let out a stressed sigh. "Don't think I would rather have someone else before you."
"Joshua-," you muttered in a broken moan, trying to bite your lip as you came on your fingers, gasping and whining as the wave of pure bliss washed over you, making your jaw go slack and let out his name in low whimpers.
"I know, baby," he muttered as he heard your moans: "I know."
Your body went limp after a long minute and you slowly came back to your senses.
"God, that was embarrassing," you sighed to yourself, moving your hand out of your pants.
He giggled. "Why?"
"I—never mind," you rolled your eyes. "See you in a bit?"
"See you in a bit, bunny," was the last thing he said before you hung up.
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The cold shower you had afterwards served two purposes: a cold slap back to reality and a reflection on your crazy toxic behavior.
Joshua was not your boyfriend. So what if he were fucking other people? Even if he were, you didn't have a say in it. You were just fuckbuddies.
You decided to wear something you thought never would, something you bought on a whim. A little black dress that hugged your body in a flattering way and accentuated your beautiful body, it showed some cleavage, but you felt confident enough to wear it now.
You waited in your living room for Joshua, tapping your fingers impatiently and checking your phone every now and then until you heard him knock, and you ran to get your door.
Joshua pushed through the door, grabbing you instantly by the waist and pushing you to the nearest surface where he could sit you down. The table felt cold against your ass when he set you down harshly, making the skirt of your dress fly up as he slotted himself between your legs.
"I'd take you right here on this table if we didn't have to be somewhere else right now," he said in a low tone, grabbing your chin with his fingers.
"Please do," you urged as his lips locked on yours chastely. "Fuck me, please Joshua, please."
"I think it's your turn to wait now," he muttered with a grin.
"But I need it, please," you whined, wrapping your legs around him.
"Touching yourself an hour ago wasn't enough, baby?" he lifted your chin to angle your head for him to press his lips to your own.
"No. You know it wasn't," you mewled. "I want you to fuck me. Right now," you moaned with a sigh.
Your fingers hooked on the hem of his black jeans and pulled him toward you, sliding his zipper down and undoing the button in one move.
"Fuck baby," he muttered in awe at your wild behaviour as your hand slid beneath his jeans to find him already hard beneath his underwear.
"I need you," you whined, ignoring the awe-struck look on his face.
He grabbed both your wrists and pulled them out of his pants, firmly clasping them together, his hand was large enough to secure them together in his fist as the other hand grabbed you by the jaw gently.
"You have some nerve after ignoring me all week," he muttered darkly. "Now you'll have to wait baby until I say so. Can you do that, sweetheart?"
You looked at his lust-lidded eyes bore into you and his smile slowly appeared on his face as you nodded.
"I can wait," you replied with an innocent tone.
"That's my girl," he cooed and sighed into your lips as he captured them with his own, giving you a heated kiss.
You broke the kiss abruptly and brought up a finger to caress his lower lip that was covered now with your saliva.
"You can fuck me raw now, Joshua," you whispered with a soft smile, almost kicking your feet in the air as you still sat on your table.
The audacity that possessed you to say that was totally new to you, it showed up in your crazy outbursts of assertiveness every time you were near him. Maybe you felt confident enough to be like that with him.
He shuddered slightly, but it was enough for you to see. "We're never getting there if you keep going, princess," he pressed his forehead against yours.
"So you're going to?" you asked, your voice dropped to a whisper.
"If that's what you want, baby," he muttered.
He was already breathing hard, his hands had dropped on your bare thighs, where he had started to knead on your skin anxiously.
"I want to," you replied instantly. "I need you to."
"You're killing me right now," he laughed softly before fixing his pants. "We need to go now, or we'll be regrettably late."
"Fine," you sighed. "Let's go."
He grabbed your head with his hands before crashing his lips with yours briefly but heatedly.
"Let's go," he muttered.
The ride there was longer than you expected. Joshua told you beforehand that his bandmates were already at the location where the event was going to be held.
And as he drove there, he started to get more and more jittery: anxiously licking his lips and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
"Are you okay, Shua?" you asked. "You're quiet."
He sent a look your way, but focused on the road ahead. "I'm okay. Just a bit nervous."
You gave him a reassuring smile, although he didn't get the chance to see it. "It's going to be fine. You'll see," you tried to comfort him by placing a hand flatly on his thigh.
He gently grabbed your hand and took it to his lips, pressing them on your knuckles. "Thank you, bunny. That's why I'm bringing you with me tonight."
Your heart fluttered a little. "Yeah? Why is that?"
"You give me good luck," he smirked.
You snorted, trying to play it cool. "You're so corny," you muttered.
He flashed you a downturned smile, briefly looking your way. "Shut up, I'm trying to flirt with you."
"Why? You're driving, there's not much we can do," you laughed, but then your laugh fainted. "Unless you want me to do something for you."
He blinked slowly as he let out a soft laugh. "Are you suggesting to blow me, baby?" he asked incredulously, glancing your way.
You shrugged. "Mmm, yeah. I thought that's where this conversation was headed."
"God, you are terrible at flirting," he said with a low chuckle, but you couldn't ignore how he leaned his head back and shifted on the seat a bit.
"Yeah, shocking," you smiled.
Joshua frowned, but didn't press any further. "I'd accept your proposition," he smiled slightly. "But we're arriving in about two minutes."
"I feel like there's a joke to be made here," you muttered with a smile.
His jaw dropped slightly. "Oh, no. Don't," he laughed.
"I just need one minute," you burst out laughing by the end of the joke.
He rolled his eyes briefly, but his smile was the biggest you've seen. "You have the humor of a child," he said while shaking his head.
You collected yourself, feigning to brush a tear from the corner of your eye.
"Are you done?" he asked, looking torn between amused and disappointed by your bad joke.
"Come on, laugh a little," you pushed his shoulder slightly.
Your joke wasn't even remotely funny, you knew that, but Joshua was still smiling when he parked in a large parking lot There were a lot of cars around and people gathering and walking in groups towards the entrance of a park.
"Where are we?" you asked as you unclasped your seatbelt.
Joshua appeared to be in a hurry, probably reverting back to his state of anxiousness after being distracted successfully by you. "Come on, bunny."
He jumped out of his large jeep and went around it to get your door.
"Oh, what a gentleman. Thanks," you smiled as he offered you a hand to climb down.
"Here," he muttered as his hands clasped on what appeared to be an access pass, which he put around your neck.
"Oh? Thank you, Joshua," you grabbed the tag to read that it was an all access pass.
"Don't mention it," you looked up to see a light smile on his face. "Follow me."
He led you to the side entrance which was fenced off, a sign at the entrance reading "AUTHORIZED ONLY" and you practically followed him through the maze of sound and lighting equipment carefully arranged on the floor.
There was a lot to be on the lookout for as you tried to keep up with him. There were rows of cables taped or secured to the ground that you almost tripped over.
Joshua seemed to notice your struggle and reached out to grab your hand firmly. "Careful, princess," he showed you a downturned smile, jittery eyes glancing down to his large hand grabbing yours. "Is this okay?"
You felt your heartbeat on your throat as you could only muster up a nod. "Yeah," you breathed, holding onto his hand.
The place he was walking through and to which he was practically dragging you with him was a large tent with long tables, people gathered around, chatting and drinking.
The smell of weed and tobacco permeated the air, laughter and the hum of the crowd with that of the music in the distance filled your ears.
"There you are, Shuji—oh, I see why you're late," Jihoon politely nodded your way and waved.
"Hi," you waved back shyly.
Joshua released your hand gently, smoothly using it to fix his dark hair with a labored sigh. "I thought I was on time," he frowned. "Isn't our go in an hour?"
"Yes, but we were asked for our instruments for soundcheck half an hour ago," the drummer shook his head nervously.
"And?" Joshua smiled playfully. "Did you need me to do that?"
"No, I don't need you, I'm just—forget it. In thirty minutes we go backstage for them to mic us up," he informed, just as jittery as you saw Joshua some minutes ago.
"Got it. Thanks Jihoon," he nodded and then turned to you. "You get drinks and food with your pass. I have to stay here, but you're free if you want to explore the festival," he tugged at the access pass hanging on your neck.
"Right, okay," you pressed your lips into a smile.
"We can meet back here once our gig is over," he offered. "Or I can join you where you are."
You looked up at his doe eyes. "You're going to do great, Joshua," you smiled reassuringly.
God, you wanted to kiss him so bad. In front of everyone, you didn't care who saw. But you also felt pathetic, anxiously eyeing his plump lips then back at his curious eyes.
He read you well. With a soft smile, his hand slid in the nape of your neck to hold you in place as he dipped his head to kiss you sweetly, one peck, then another. A sigh falling on your parted lips as he tenderly slid his lips in between your own.
"I'll be in the crowd," you promised with the faintest voice.
"I'll look for you," he smiled slightly at you, meeting your gaze with such fondness that you almost forgot where you were.
"I better be there then," you smirked at him, trying to contain your eagerness.
"Look at you being flirty with me," his smile grew and you almost died inside when his eyes turned into two crescent moons from how happy he looked.
"I–that wasn't flirting," you stuttered. "I'd better get going so you can get ready," you pulled away awkwardly.
Your heart sank as the smile on his face slowly faded.
Joshua looked at you the way he always did when he figured you out, but just nodded with his head, if he had anything else to say, he kept it to himself.
"See you in a bit?" he asked with a playful smile.
"See you in a bit, Shua," you smiled back and turned around and followed your way back through the crowds of artists and crew men and women and into the actual music festival.
The sun had already dipped, the chill of the air in the beautiful park surrounded by tall trees seemed to be setting in despite the huge crowds of people amassing around the stages, those which were three in total.
In your little exploration around the merch and food stalls, you found out that Midnight Haze were presenting on the main stage, two bands before the headliners. So that's why Joshua looked reasonably anxious: this was hugely important for a local band such as his.
You thought that this could prove an opportunity for them to be scouted for plenty more gigs. And you hoped that would be the case. You honestly wished for his band to have more recognition, they deserved it.
You explored all the food stalls, not feeling really hungry but yet indulging in what appealed to you the most. Everything was free for you, having an all access pass circling your neck, but you didn't feel the need to overuse it.
Except for strawberry mojitos, you were sipping on the third one by the time you circled back toward the big stage, showing your pass to security and they pointed you to the VIP section, directly in front of the stage where Joshua's mic stand stood.
Behind the mic stand the stage crew rolled a platform with Jihoon's bright red drum set, surrounded by a number of large cymbals. The crew expertly made a brief soundcheck and left. Your stomach tightened in excitement for the members of Midnight Haze, not just Joshua.
It seemed they had a plan, Jihoon stepped on the stage first, walking to the platform the crew had set with his large drum set. He sat on the stool and shifted a bit, finding his preferred way of sitting.
You spotted Vernon's bass guitar carefully placed on a guitar stand. It was white and had stickers all over it, some of them had washed over around the pickup area. When he picked it up and threw the red strap around his shoulder he also seemed to shift and get ready.
The crowd pushed you softly around as the people around you moved to get closer to the fences. Even if you stood in the VIP section, it was completely packed, the murmur of the crowd rose, some people whistled loudly impatiently.
When Joshua stepped under the stage lights, the crowd went completely insane. The large screens framing the stage showed the full stage, now complete with the lead singer as he grabbed a white guitar, lifting the strap to place it on one of his shoulders.
Joshua turned around and you saw him nodding his head at Jihoon, who returned the gesture at him to then raise his arms in the air to clash his drumsticks three times before starting off with a loud bang.
The booming sound of the towers of speakers filled your body, vibrating in your insides and making your bones feel the energy that instantly ignited the crowd, including you.
Midnight Haze started their set with one of their songs you liked the most. And you were pleased to see that Joshua smiled as he sang to the lyrics of the song.
The electrifying presence of the lead singer was so mind boggling to you, for a second it didn't seem like you were seeing your next door neighbor singing and playing his guitar as he danced side to side, banging his head slightly to the beat.
People screamed and applauded as the first song came to its end and Joshua bowed his head politely. Then he paused to remove one of his in-ear pieces to listen to the cheering of the crowd properly. He approached the stand, wrapping one hand around the mic.
"How's it going Rock Fest?" his voice boomed with excitement, a small chuckle came out of his plump lips when the crowd responded with wordless screams.
"We're Midnight Haze and we're really excited to be here," Joshua spoke into the mic, his starry eyes lost in the sea of faces, marveling at the sight of how extensive the crowd was.
"I want to see you all singing and dancing. Come on!" he screamed energetically just as the music swept in again.  
You cheerily sung along all of the songs in their set list, swaying your body mindlessly from side to side, looking over at the stage where Joshua also sang and played his guitar.
He looked devastatingly beautiful. His big eyes closed briefly, his brow furrowing slightly in focus, the vein in his neck popping up as he sang his lungs out.
The stage lights bathed his face with red and pink lights as the music wrapped him in a moment for his guitar solo, he looked hypnotic to you, almost heavenly.
You were so attracted to him you felt like a moth flying straight into the flame. You simply couldn't contain your urge to grab your phone and snap a photo of the moment.
God, you're screwed for life, you realized as you watched him.
Their setlist was about to come to a wrap after another one of your favorite songs ended on a strenuous note and Joshua's eyes went through the sea of faces. The stage lights danced around and pointed at the crowd at the same time his eyes zeroed on you, his brow relaxed and he smiled slightly.
"We've come to our last song," he spoke into the mic, his smile broadening when the crowd responded in wordless discontent. "We thank you for being here and for being such an amazing crowd," he paused, seemingly enjoying the roar of the sea of people in front of him. "We were Midnight Haze. Thank you, Rock Fest!!"
They started playing what their last song was, which was a song that you didn't know yet and apparently was a new song, since no one around you seemed to sing along with Joshua, who kept his big smile throughout as he sang and danced around the stage with his guitar.
He looked at you once as he strolled with his guitar directly in front of you. The people standing behind you screamed in your ears and you smiled at the sheer commotion he caused just by stopping by.
You twiddled your fingers at him, which he caught immediately and nodded his head at you, smiling tiredly with his tongue dangling between his chapped lips.
"He's so fucking hot oh my god," someone said with a raw voice from screaming, you turned and you saw two girls holding each other in excitement from the brief exchange.
It was amusing to think that you weren't the only one subdued by the beauty of the lead singer. It was also somewhat amusing that you were exhilarated at the fact that he singled you out from the crowd, but obviously no one around you knew that.
Joshua returned to the mic to sing the last verse, to then thank the other two members of Midnight Haze and say goodbye, promptly leaving the stage as the crowd screamed and applauded for them.
You quickly made your way out of the VIP section and found the nearest entrance back to the tent where you last saw Joshua. There were still some people hanging out in the tent, though admittedly not as many stuck around, possibly enjoying the festival and the food.
When Joshua came back, he looked a mixture of euphoric, tired and happy. As he spotted you, he opened his arms in excitement and you threw yourself in his embrace, lifting you in the air as your lips met briefly in an affectionate kiss.
"You were amazing," you told him, looking at his face briefly before he returned you to the ground.
Then you slowly came to your senses and stepped back from him slightly.
"You think so?" he asked, unaware of your sudden change in behavior. "Cause that felt amazing! That was the largest crowd we've ever performed for."
Your heart swelled at seeing him so excited, he grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you and you laughed at the crazed energy he still had from the stage.
"Come with me," he grabbed you by your hand as he led you out of the tent and to an even larger tent that was more crowded than the one you just left and right behind the stage.
It looked somewhat like a private party, the people in there, the majority of them, looked already intoxicated. The atmosphere was one of fun and a bit of mischief, however, you couldn't help but think that the energy of the packed room wasn't exactly inviting. Despite being hand in hand with the lead singer of one of the bands that had just come off the stage.
Your innate shy behavior kicked in, and you partially hid yourself behind Joshua, lowering your gaze as people not only looked at him, but also noticed you.
Joshua finally found the rest of his bandmates, who were already drinking a beer and talking about the very fresh experience. Jihoon, naturally, was retelling everything that just happened to a couple of faces you've never met before.
"Ah, there you are, Josh," one of them said, which was a woman. "We were wondering about you."
"Sorry, I had to go collect her," he nodded towards you. He then introduced you to the couple of strangers by name. "They're Chaewon and Taewon, from Wilted Willows."
"Hi," you waved at them, pressing your lips into a shy smile. You briefly saw the last bits of their performance, which was very unlike Midnight Haze's.
Chaewon's dark eyes scanned you up and down, making the hairs on the back of your neck prickle.
"Is she your new girlfriend?" she asked bluntly, her eyes moving from your face to Joshua's face.
"Oof, this is going to get weird," Jihoon muttered beside you and sipped from his can of coke zero.
Joshua released your hand. "No," he responded flatly, clearly setting a boundary between him and Chaewon. Then you felt his arm sliding on your shoulders, pulling your body into a tight side hug. "Not yet, at least."
Your stomach dropped, your gaze met his and he immediately winked an eye at you, a thing for your eyes to see only.
"Mmph," the girl flipped her luscious blue hair aside. "When you get bored of that, you know where to find me."
It happened fast: Chaewon took a step forward, her lithe fingers reached out to Joshua's chin, and he instantly pulled back with a flinch, his arm pulling you closer to him as an act of instinctive protectiveness.
Looking deeply startled and just about when he seemed like he was going to tell her off, she left and her bandmate had no choice but to leave with her after the deeply alarming exchange.
Joshua released a labored sigh. "Seriously, Jihoon?" he dropped the arm from your shoulders.
"What, they came to me," he shrugged. "I didn't know she was going to pull all that."
"Who is she... is she your ex?" you asked, trying to appear fine and controlled.
"No. God, no," Joshua shook his head furiously. "She's just really self-absorbed."
"She is also obsessed with Shua. Crazy stalker level of obsession," Jihoon explained briefly.
"Ah," you frowned.
The only reason why you thought she might've been Joshua's ex was because of how comfortable she was to attempt to put her hands on him.
Even if she were his ex, she overstepped by trying to touch him like that.
"Fucking hell," Jihoon muttered to himself, spotting something in between the groups of people. "Vernon's getting fucked up again."
Jihoon left abruptly, towards the direction of the bassist. Leaving you and Joshua alone. 
"I'm so sorry about that," Joshua's face had contorted into a frown. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," you smiled calmly despite yourself, trying to not let your anger show. "That was unsettling."
"Yeah, I agree. Really disturbing," he sighed again, running a hand through his dark hair.
"I'm sorry you have to deal with that, Joshua," you offered with a downturned smile.
"Don't be," he shook his head. "I'm more worried about you, she undermined you and I couldn't say anything about it."
"But I'm unaffected," you countered. "Her problem is not with me, that much is evident."
He flashed you a relaxed smile. "Sorry about the girlfriend stuff, I panicked."
A sudden painful feeling made you almost flinch. "Don't worry, Shua. I would've panicked a little too."
But you were thankful that he was being honest. He still looked agitated from the unfortunate exchange, but his shoulders went slack when you reached out to grab his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Hey, don't let that ruin your night," you told him encouragingly.
"Yeah, no, I'm fine," he frowned.
"You want me to fuck her up?" you asked bluntly.
His doe eyes widened. "What?!" then he understood you were joking and laughed hard, almost bending over with laughter. "Where did that come from?"
You broke your act and smiled at him. "I wanted to make you laugh. It worked," you shrugged.
"You fighting... now that would be fun to see," he admitted with a smile. "Fun and weird. Can't imagine you doing that."
"Well, don't try me," you quipped.
He chuckled again, brushing a tear from his eye.
A bunch of people stopped by to say hi to him and you stood idly by, watching Joshua expertly navigate through small talks, compliments and questions. And though you mostly didn't get attention within these exchanges, you were happy to be there, experiencing him.
"You are famous," you pointed, impressed by the amount of people that came to say hello and even take pictures with him.
"I'm not famous, bunny. This is kind of a network, everyone here knows everyone," he explained, but the tip of his ears were red.
"Right," you scoffed. "I don't see a lot of people asking others for their photo."
He rolled his eyes. "Shut up, it makes me feel weird."
"Are you blushing?" you gasped dramatically. "The Joshua Hong is blushing?!"
He arched his pierced eyebrow at you. "Don't make fun of me," he muttered shyly but you just couldn't help but laugh at how cute he looked when flustered. 
"Aw, baby boy is shy?" you pouted at him.
He blinked slowly, biting his lower lip to attempt and stop his smile. "This is the last time I bring you to something like this."
You simply continued. "Can I get your photo, Shua? Joshie, can I get your autograph?" you laughed as his smile grew, rolling his eyes at you again.
Joshua nodded at you once, letting out a breath through a smirk. "Having fun?"
A shiver ran down your spine. "A bit, if I'm honest," you admitted, but were actually more excited about his sudden change in attitude.
"Alright, princess. Let's have fun," he muttered, clasping his hand around yours to drag you once again through the crowd of people and outside the tent.
"Joshua!" you squealed, your smile had since vanished from your face as you looked around to see that he was dragging you towards a line of parked bus trailers.
You assumed that there was no one around since Joshua confidently shoved your back against the side of a bus trailer, making you gasp at the sheer force he used with you.
His eyes widened in disbelief when you smiled at him deviously. "You wanted this," he realized. "Do you enjoy this, baby?"
"I do," you nodded, breathing hard in anticipation already as Joshua closed in on you.
His fingers grazed your chin. "You want me to toss you around, pretty?" he asked, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.
A shudder ran through your body. "Yeah," you sighed. "I want you to do whatever you want to me, Joshua."
Joshua looked at you in pure fascination, he even let out a soft sigh that brushed your face slightly.
"You..." he breathed but stopped, seemingly at a loss of words.
His head dipped and you closed your eyes, blindly grabbing his head with your hands as he kissed you hard on your lips. 
"I want you, Joshua," you whimpered into his hot mouth, the words felt urgent as you uttered them. "Now."
"What if someone sees?" he incited, his voice low and raspy.
"I don't care," you confessed, the statement shaking deep in your bones.
The fleeting confidence in you stirred something in your brain, telling you to act quick.
It was your turn to push him against the bus trailer behind him. He gasped in surprise as his back hit the metal wall, his eyebrow raising a bit.
You clasped your lips with his, earning a low groan from him that reverberated in his chest and against your hands that were sliding down to the belt of his pants.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his hands stopping you.
You faltered instantly. "I-I want to suck you off," your eyes read his face. "Can I?"
His hand released one of yours to cup your chin. "Why?"
You frowned. "Why, what do you mean, why?"
He nodded briefly. "Tell me you're not doing this because you feel bad for what happened earlier in the tent."
"I want to pleasure you," you explained, then you quickly relaxed, understanding the situation. "Don't think I'm doing this for any other reason than just for you."
His eyes scanned your face, his other hand released you to graze your cheek with his knuckles, the features of his face relaxing. "What's our safeword, bunny?"
You blinked slowly, showing him a smile before giving him your safeword.
"Fuck," he let out a puffy breath as your fingers resumed undoing his belt, to then get the button of his black jeans.
"You're so hard already," you cooed softly, and eyed him as your hand felt him over his underwear.
Joshua was biting his lower lip, looking strained already. "All for you, sweetheart."
You smiled at him sweetly. "Such a sweet talker," you tilted your head as you rubbed his hard cock through his underwear.
You stuck your hand through the slit of his boxers, grabbing his hard cock firmly and effectively pulling it free from the stretchy and wet fabric of his underwear. 
"You're being so naughty, princess," he chuckled at you faintly but he faltered completely as you lowered yourself to your knees before him.
The ground was hard against the soft skin of your knees, the thin layer of your stockings was not enough to protect them. But you knew you wanted to see the bruises by the following morning.
"Fuck," he muttered again, shuddering visibly when you kissed the tip of his cock, to then press your tongue on the slit to lick his precum as you locked eyes with him.
One large hand cupped your cheek, his eyes trained on you as your tongue gave a few strokes to his shaft, feeling the vein that marked in the underside, tracing a long line with your tongue until you wrapped your mouth around his cockhead.
You heard a low guttural groan leave him when you took him deeper in your mouth than you could before, your tongue lapping on the length of him as you moved your head back and forth. 
Darting a look at him, Joshua leaned his head back on the wall behind him, eyes closed and swallowing hard as you bobbed your head back and forth on his throbbing cock, swirling your tongue around his cockhead.
"God. Your mouth feels so, so fucking good, baby," he moaned faintly, his hands grabbing a handful of your hair.
The back of your mouth had started to hurt already from the intrusion each time you tried to take his cock deeper in your mouth. But you didn't care, all focus was in getting more sounds of approval from him. Sounds that were also making you aroused. 
Drool had started to drip down from the corners of your lips and onto your chin, wet sounds coming every time you pulled your head back, hollowing your cheeks to suck hard on his cock just as if it were a lolly.
"Fuck," he exhaled. "You don't know how much I needed you, baby."
A moan coiled in your throat, your walls throbbing desperately at the sound of his words. Your chest swelled proud when you felt his fingers tense up on your hair and you heard him moan faintly, cussing and muttering incoherently about your mouth and how good it felt.
"Fuck, fuck—I think someone's coming," he whispered but didn't make an attempt of stopping you, so you didn't.
Voices echoed in the distance, but you couldn't make out if someone actually saw you and Joshua. There was no actual acknowledgement towards what you were doing, but you felt euphoric all the same.
Being on your knees for him, sucking him off for anyone to see made you moan on his cock. You sneaked a look at Joshua's eyes, that were trained on you while your head bobbed back and forth, committed to the act of pleasuring him.
"Someone just saw you giving me head," his voice sounded raw. "You like this, don't you? Like taking my cock in your mouth for anyone to see."
You moaned a sound of confirmation, making the smile on his face grow just a little. He let out a weak sigh, the tension in his beautiful features showing that he was close.
"I'm close," he sighed and threw his head back a bit. His hand tightened on your hair slightly when you sucked him harder. "Fuck, baby. D'you want me to cum in your pretty mouth?" his thumb brushed your cheekbone gently, as if calling for your attention back to him.
You blinked at him, moaning the same sound again.
"Can I move, princess? You think you're ready for that?" he asked, his face and voice both strained.
You nodded with your head as you pulled your mouth back to suck on his cockhead, blinking an adoring look up at him.
"Tap my thigh if you need me to stop," he grabbed your head firmly and started thrusting his cock on your mouth.
Sloppily at first, almost as if he wanted you to adjust your mouth to his pace as he started to push his cock down your throat faster. You lifted your eyes to see his face deep in focus, probably containing himself to avoid hurting you by accident.
The feeling was so deeply arousing that you were tempted to sneak a hand between your legs and start touching yourself. But you were rendered immobile, not by his hands precisely, but by the sight of him fucking your mouth.
"Fuck, baby—I'm cumming. You're gonna take it all, right baby? Gonna swallow it all?" he groaned, revelling at the sight of you taking his cock, your eyes brimming with tears, your chin dripping with your own drool.
You were gagging loudly on his cock, but managed to get the slightest of nods.
"Yeah, you are," he cooed faintly when he saw the way you responded to his words.
Then he threw his head back, his face contorted in pure pleasure and you almost swore you could come from the sight alone. 
"God, fuck," his voice was a mere whisper as his cockhead bumped on the back of your mouth, his cum spurting down your throat and you instantly swallowed it.
Joshua groaned through clenched teeth as you swallowed the last drops of his cum, he screwed his eyes shut, exhaling elatedly at the same time that his hands gently released your hair.
"That was insane," he muttered slowly, appearing to come to his senses.
Gently, he pulled out of your mouth, a string of saliva falling out of your mouth and landed on your chin. He fixed his pants quickly before grabbing your hands that were previously resting on his thighs.
Joshua helped you stand up and immediately wrapped you in a tight embrace. Bringing a hand up to clean your face from your drool and tears.
"You did so good, bunny," he muttered in your lips after kissing you chastely. "So fucking good."
"'m glad you liked it," you smiled in his lips.
"Let's take you home, princess. I want to make you feel good too," he gave you small pecks on your lips. "Is that okay?"
"Can't you take me here? Right now?" you whined jokingly.
"No, baby," he whispered into your lips. "As much as I'm dying to do that right now, I don't want to risk anyone seeing you."
"But you didn't have an issue with it five minutes ago," you quipped.
"Yeah, but that was different. You were fully clothed and the person who saw us didn't see our faces," he pointed. 
"So the problem is that you don't want anyone to see me naked?" you pulled back to meet his gaze. "In that case I can keep my dress on." 
The conversation had shifted between you, and you could tell that he was no longer trying to keep you aroused—he didn't even look like he just got blown. You didn't know what it was, but it troubled him.
Joshua looked up at the night sky, seemingly looking frustrated for a second as he looked for words to say.
"What if I'm a little possessive too?" he asked, meeting your eyes.
You physically recoiled in his arms in a mixture of excitement and uneasiness. "W-what?" you blurted in disbelief.
"What if I don't want anyone seeing what I have with you?" his eyes searched your face. "Even if you kept your dress on, I don't want anyone seeing how good you are for me."
Your heart dropped, pain sinking into your chest. This was totally not what you expected to hear from him. Even if his possessiveness was entirely revolving around a sexual aspect, you weren't ready to hear it.
"Joshua-," you started.
"I know I said that I'd fuck you anywhere but I just can't give you that right now," he smiled, seemingly ashamed of his words.
"No, it's alright," you frowned. "It's just really confusing hearing you say this."
"What, you don't think I'm capable of feeling a little jealous too?" he asked. "You don't like the idea of me seeing other girls, I don't like the idea of someone seeing you."
Was this something you needed to talk in more depth with him? Totally, yes. Were you going to ask him to do so? No, probably not ever.
"Fair," you muttered, mustering a smile to him before capturing his lips with your own. "Take me home, then."
Joshua took your hand again, making your tummy flutter with nervousness that only intensified when he led you back to the tent.
As you both pushed through Joshua's friends and unknown faces, you swore that everyone looked at you differently; not in a bad or good way precisely, just different. As though everyone knew why you and Joshua disappeared, and judging by the fact that someone saw you, they probably did already.
Joshua kept you close, almost as though wanting to make his point across—he felt possessive of you. And you didn't want to know to which extent he felt like this over you. 
But you knew one thing, whatever it was that made him look this deeply troubled, paired with your unspoken feelings for him was starting to taint your already messy relationship of fuckbuddies.
Joshua drove faster this time around, keeping a hand on the wheel and the other placed flatly on your thigh.
"Did you enjoy the festival?" he asked, his thumb had started to draw invisible circles on your thigh.
"I did," you smiled. "Drank mojitos and ate corn dogs," you told him, looking at his large hand. You resisted the urge to grab it and lace your fingers with his.
"Mojitos?"
"Strawberry mojitos," you added. "I took some photos too, of you, on stage."
"You did? Will you show me?" he eyed you excitedly.
"Of course," you smiled at him.
"So you got a good spot to see me?"
"Yeah I got to see you throughout the whole set," you saw him smile faintly.
"I saw you singing along," he seemed to remember suddenly. "You've been listening to our music."
"Yeah," you admitted. "Almost everyday. Does that make me your groupie?"
He chuckled. "I'm convinced that you don't know what a groupie is, bunny."
"Shuddup," you smiled.
"Hey, but it's not fair—you can listen to my music but I haven't read your book," he frowned.
"I'll lend you the hardcopy of my manuscript," you promised.
"I actually looked for you, do you use a pen name?"
Your heart sank. He took the time to search your books using your real name?
You told him your pseudonym and he repeated each name silently and nodded. 
"Yeah, I might've confused the lady at the local library," he laughed.
"You went to the library looking for my books using my real name," he nodded and you laughed. "You should've asked me first."
"You never answer my texts on time," he reproached. "Well but I wanted it to be a secret, actually."
"Why?" you frowned.
"I wanted to impress you," he shrugged.
"You don't have to, Joshua," you told him sincerely.
"But I want to," he pouted cutely. "And now that I know you've been listening to my music, I feel like I have to catch up with you."
"I like your music. I'm not sure if you're going to like my books," you warned him.
"Let me decide that," he smiled at you.
Joshua parked his car expertly with one hand, his other hand still resting on your thigh. He had stopped rubbing circles through the thin fabric of your stockings, but your skin felt hot at his touch nonetheless.
Your fingers fidgeted nervously with the hem of the skirt of your little black dress as you stepped on the elevator, Joshua stood closely behind you.
"Are you nervous?" he asked in your ear, leaning closer to you.
"A bit," you breathed, turning on your feet to see his face.
"Why?" he slowly smirked. "We've done this before."
You were lucky that no one else was in that elevator, but you still waited until you got to your apartment to continue that conversation.
Joshua gently pushed you against the wall as soon as he closed your apartment door.
"Mm? Why are you nervous, bunny?" he asked in a soft tone.
"I've never been fucked raw," you confessed, fighting the blush that crept immediately on your face.
His eyes searched your face briefly. "We don't have to do that tonight, we can use protection."
"No, don't get me wrong—I want to... do it raw," you breathed, your hands fidgeting with the collar of his meshy black shirt. "I'm just..."
You bit your tongue. You felt excited to try new things with Joshua, and what really got you feeling that way was that you were trying these things with someone you were actually falling in love with.
"What?" he egged you on, his curious eyes still trying to read your face.
You licked your lips anxiously and shook your head, reluctant to continue.
"We can take it slow, if that's what you want," he offered.
"No, do-don't hold back," you stuttered. "I want everything."
"I got you. Don't worry," he muttered before placing two fingers to grab your chin and leaned to kiss you.
You melted into his lips, feeling every nerve in your body respond at his touch when he slid his other hand on your waist, giving it a soft squeeze.
"I almost forgot to tell you," he breathed after pulling back from your lips. "You looked beautiful tonight, baby."
"Did you like my dress?" you darted a look down to your little black dress.
"Thank you for wearing it tonight," he grazed your cheek. "I liked it very much." 
"It's a good thing I didn't wear the bunny pjs then," you smirked though your blushing face.
He laughed faintly. "Yeah, good thing," he echoed dazedly, leaning to kiss you again.
God, if you could only just ask him. Does he feel the same way too? When your mouths join, when you breathe against each other, moaning and gasping at the slightest of touches against each other's skin.
Your fingers started undoing the buttons of his shirt, your hands sneaking between the split of his shirt to feel his hard chest, the defined muscles of his pecs.
Joshua moaned into your lips, his hands sliding from your waist to find your hips. His hot mouth placed open mouthed kisses on your chin, groaning in approval when you tilted your head back for him to kiss on the underside of your jaw.
Your back was pressed against the wall as his hands searched for your thighs and expertly lifted you up from the floor. You let out a squeal in surprise, your arms instantly locking around his shoulders.
A laugh in sheer joy left your lips when he carried you to your room. "We could've walked here."
"Shh, let me do nice things for you," he muttered as he let you back to the floor of your room and you got to the lamp on your nightstand.
He grabbed you by your waist, pulling you to his body as he sat down on your bed, leveling down to see eye to eye with you. His large hand slid on the nape of your neck as his lips found yours, tenderly locking you into a kiss.
Joshua was still wearing his shirt on his shoulders, the split parting as your fingers caressed the defined lines of the muscles on his abdomen, and then he moaned on your mouth when you reached his lats, that being a sensitive area for him.
"How do I get you out of this?" he smiled sheepishly when his fingers searched on your back and then on your sides.
"It's a slip dress," you explained, smiling too.
Your fingers grabbed the shoulder straps, sliding them from your arms and the dress simply fell from your frame, leaving your body with the light pink lingerie set you chose for tonight.
"Do you like it?" you asked sheepishly when he seemed unable to look back at your eyes.
Joshua swallowed hard, tearing his doe eyes from the lacey fabric barely covering your body and found your expectant eyes. "Yeah, baby," he released a breath through a weak smile. "I love it."
Your hands went to grab the clasp of your pretty bra, but he raised a hand from your waist.
"No, not yet," he muttered. "I want to take it off myself. Is that okay?"
"Yeah. More than okay," you sighed, repurposing your hands to remove his meshy black shirt from his shoulders, caressing his beautiful skin in the process.
His large hands busied themselves exploring your bare skin too, what your thigh high stockings didn't cover, caressing your bare waist as he leaned to press wet kisses down your chest, to the swell of your breasts.
"So beautiful," he muttered, as if to himself.
"Joshua," you moaned with a sigh as his hands circled on your back and slid down to cup your ass with a low guttural groan from his part.
"Don't rush this," he muttered against your skin, then glanced up to meet your eyes.
"Okay," you breathed, your skin already prickled and covered in goosebumps.
He smiled, his fingers reaching up to graze your chin. "We have all night, you don't have to rush anything."
"Oh, so you're going to fuck me all night?" you quipped with a grin.
"If that's what you want," he replied with a small shrug.
"I do. But what do you want, Joshua?" you retorted.
His gaze darkened as it met yours, he seemed to struggle with his words for the second time in the night, something that did not go unnoticed by you, but you decided not to make a big deal of it at the time.
Joshua didn't reply to your question verbally, instead he stood from your bed, your eyes following him now that he regained his natural height, now his frame towered over you.
He pushed you to sit on the bed, wordlessly making you understand that the roles were reversed for now and you resumed to undress him. Undoing his belt and button from his black jeans, hooking your fingers to push his jeans down on his legs for him to step out of them, socks included.
It was your turn to swallow hard at the sight of him nearly naked. He was hard already, as you could see the bulge in his underwear, your hand instantly rubbing his hard cock through the stretchy fabric.
"Lie down, princess," he muttered, nodding to the bed.
You scooted back on your bed covers and lied down as Joshua climbed on top of your body.
"Are you okay?" you asked, your voice laced with a bit of concern.
"Yeah," he breathed, pressing a kiss on your lower lip. "Never better."
He grabbed your legs and you wrapped them around his body, pressing down on his hips to join them with yours, earning a soft moan from him.
"Joshua?" you breathed when his lips trailed from your mouth, pressing wet kisses down the crook of your neck.
"Mm?"
"Ca-can I be on top?" you asked.
"Do you want to ride me, baby? Is that what you're asking?" he asked with his sweet voice.
"Let me be on top," you muttered, lowering your legs from his body.
He laughed against your skin. "Okay," he sighed, rolling over so his back was fully against the bed and you followed his body promptly, straddling him.
You wasted no time, leaning your body to press your chest against his, burying your fingers in his black hair before capturing his lips with yours.
His hands caressed your back, the pads of his fingers tracing the line of your column and stopping only to unclasp your pretty bra, his hands removed it completely, you heard when it landed on the floor.
His breath hitched when you pressed your tits against his hard chest, moving your lips to kiss his chin, then under his jaw and  down the crook of his neck, essentially mimicking what he does when he's on top of you.
"Can I mark you?" you asked shyly, darting a look to his face.
A small groan fell from his lips as he nodded with his head. "Yeah," he whispered with a light smile.
You returned the smile as your head dipped on the crook of his neck, his hands kneading on your hips as you landed love bites on the crook of his neck, his throat and finally reaching his toned chest.
Joshua was sensitive. It made you feel so stupid to realize it this far into your countless sexual encounters. He so rarely let you touch him during sex or kiss him that you never knew just how sensitive he actually was.
His hands were going to leave marks on your skin, you were sure of it. Kneading on your ass and hips, fingers digging harshly on your skin as you took your time marking his chest, marveling at the sight of his toned pecs.
"Fuck," he breathed softly, his eyes were closed tightly, so he never saw you smile at his downright restless behaviour. You and him had that in common, at least.
You couldn't ignore how big and hard he felt under you, so you started grinding on him to maybe help him release the growing tension on his cock.
Then you wanted to try something—you ran your tongue on one of his sides, feeling his toned lats, tasting cologne in his skin.
"Mmn—fuck!" his body hardened, his fingers threatening to pierce your skin.
The tip of your tongue traced a circle around one of his nipples to then press your wet lips and repeated the same actions on his other side, earning similar reactions.
A groan bubbled in his chest and suddenly you were being flipped to your back, startled you looked at his dark eyes. Unable to say a word, his mouth was already clashing with yours, kissing you fervently.
"Are you going to tie me up tonight?" you asked shyly.
His pierced eyebrow arched slightly. "Do you think you deserve it, pretty? Have you been bad?"
"Mmm, maybe a little," you admitted.
"Mmm yeah, I remember that you were, baby. Do you like being bratty? Do you like being tied up?" his fingers hooked on the thin fabric of your thong, pulling his body back to slide the thong down your legs, leaving your stockings on.
"Yeah, I do," you breathed, your eyes trained on him as he pressed soft kisses on the softer side of your thighs.
"Then I won't tie you tonight, princess," he smiled deviously to then run the tip of his tongue on the sensitive side of your thigh, dangerously close to your core.
You let out a soft whimper, your body tensed up and your legs instinctively closed a bit, one of your legs bumped with the side of his head.
"Maybe I'll get restraints for your legs too," he quipped, laughing softly. "Would you like that, baby?"
You swallowed hard, closing your eyes when he continued placing loving and soft kisses on your mound. "Mm, I think so," you muttered clumsily.
He used his hands to splay your thighs open for him, dipping his head on your mound to place wet kisses on your soft skin, sighing in the process of kissing your pussy lips, groaning softly with you when he heard you moan and whine.
"Joshua," you called softly when his tongue swiped a line between your folds, humming in response at the taste of your arousal.
One of his hands slotted in your lower tummy, while the other one remained holding your thigh. His face was practically buried in your cunt, slowly licking every inch of it, dipping the tip of his tongue on your entrance to make you cry out and moan his name.
You held onto his hand that was on your tummy when his tongue swirled around your clit a few times. "Oh god," you whimpered
The bed underneath you groaned when you sank your body, completely subdued in pleasure. Your fingers clenching on his fingers, the other had found the soft strands of his black hair, pulling softly when he started flicking your swollen clit with the tip of his tongue.
"F-fuck—Joshua," you breathed, screwing your eyes shut, trying to remain still on your bed but couldn't help but writhe slightly when he switched from flicking your clit to sucking at it lightly.
You propped yourself with your elbows on your bed to see him practically making out with your cunt. The sight of it alone made you almost climax—his dark hair between your fingers, his hands holding you still for him as he lifted his eyes to find yours.
A moan coiled in your throat, your fingers tugged his hair as you felt your orgasm drawing near, and he seemed to know it from the sounds you were making, so he started sucking your swollen bud harder, moving his head up and down slightly.
"Joshua, 'm close," you breathed, your body trembling slightly. "Fuck! Don't stop, please. Joshua!"
You threw your head back, your jaw going slack too as raggedy breaths broke in your chest, twitching and groaning lewdly on your bed. You moaned loudly, your hand pressing on his head as your orgasm continued to wash over you, the waves of pure bliss left tingles on your limbs and face.
You eased your body back on your bed, your chest heaving embarrassingly hard, soft moans spilled from your lips when Joshua's mouth left your throbbing cunt after showering it with tender kisses.
"Feel good?" you heard him ask.
You opened your eyes to find him still between your thighs, smiling fondly at you.
"Amazing," you sighed weakly. "I love how you eat me out so much."
He laughed. "I love eating you out, princess."
"Oh, yeah?" you breathed.
Joshua climbed back on top of you. The dim light from your lamp let you see the pretty features of his face, you reached to wipe your arousal from his chin and he smiled as he pressed his chapped lips with your own.
"Yeah," he answered and you were reminded of how much you liked it when he said that.
He got on his knees to take his sweet time taking your stockings off, his hands caressing your legs in the process, his lust-lidded eyes locking with yours as he did so. 
Then he lied on his side, using his elbow on the bed to support him as his other hand slid between your legs, his pointer finger slid between your pussy lips, playing with your wetness as his eyes searched your face.
Your eyes shifted to the finger disappearing inside your cunt, pumping in and out a few times until you were ready for another finger.
"Joshua," you whimpered pathetically when his two fingers massaged your walls, but really what had you on the verge of insanity was his doe eyes trained on your face.
"Mm?" his eyebrows arched slightly. "What's wrong?"
"I want you so bad," you breathed, your hand cupping his cheek to pull him into a needy kiss, nibbling his lower lip with your teeth when his fingers scissored inside you.
"You think you're ready for me, sweetheart?" he muttered, his voice strained with tension.
You nodded a bit too eagerly.
"No, I don't think you're ready, baby," he replied, introducing a third finger inside you.
"Joshua," you whined, knowing that he liked hearing you beg. "Please. I waited all day. Please take me,"
He smiled, immediately telling on your little game. "Yeah, you waited all day for me princess, after ignoring me all week. Why should I give you what you want?"
"Because you want it too," you replied boldly. "I know you want me as much as I want you."
"Mmm, yeah baby, you're right. I want you but I wait for you," his doe eyes locked with yours. "Can you say you do the same for me, baby? You like having fun by pushing me away, so why shouldn't I have fun too?"
"You're being mean, Shua," you frowned. "I didn't push you away, just–"
"Careful, princess," he warned, the corner of his lips twitching. "I don't like when you lie to me. You know that."
You moaned then he pressed the palm of his hand on your sensitive clit while still pumping three fingers in and out of your wet walls.
When you gave him no response nor explanation, he smiled. "So you were pushing me away. Again, baby?"
You remained quiet and looked away from his darkened gaze.
"Why do you do that?" he pressed, his voice sounding soft, alluring.
You groaned and bit your lip as he continued to massage your walls with his fingers, his palm stimulating your clit slowly toward another orgasm.
"Joshua," you sighed, closing your eyes. "Joshua, I'm cumming."
"No, you're not," he muttered softly, pulling his fingers out of your cunt when your walls had started clenching harder.
You gasped in frustration. "Joshua!" you whined. "I was close."
He let out a breathy chuckle and pressed his lips against your cheek. "I know, baby."
"Then why..? Why did you stop?" you asked.
"You're cumming when I want you to," he replied shortly.
You sighed your frustration, not caring how childish you were being. "You're mean," you pouted.
He laughed softly when your fingers hooked on the band of his underwear and yanked it down, his hard cock slapping his lower abdomen as he lifted his hips for you to tear off the last piece of clothing he wore.  
"And you lied to me, again," he countered as he climbed back on top of your body, pressing loving kisses to your cheeks and chin, each kiss seemed to leave a trail of tingles on your skin.
"I'm s–"
"Sorry?" he muttered, kissing your jaw.
"Joshua, please," you moaned weakly. "I'll be good, just—fuck me. Do whatever you want. Punish me but please, fuck me."
His eyes glinted with awe, and you remembered that he liked it when you begged. "You'll let me do anything I want, sweetheart?"
"Yes," you breathed. "I'm yours."
Joshua cocked his head to the side ever so slightly. "Say that again," he whispered, giving you another soft kiss now on your lips. And another.
"I'm yours, Joshua."
He hummed in satisfaction. "You're mine," he repeated, savoring the statement with his sweet lips.
"Only yours," you echoed dazedly.
"Oh, you cruel thing," he said darkly. "You know what you're doing, don't you?"
No response came from you. If he wanted answers, that was the best you could give him right now. And for a moment, he appeared to know that too.
A shudder invaded your body when Joshua grabbed his cock on one hand, dragging his cockhead on your wet folds. A soft breath spilled from his lips when he felt you, skin on skin.
"Ready?" Joshua searched your eyes again.
You nodded. "Ready," you breathed.
A low whimper coiled in your throat when he slowly eased himself in. Your hand held onto his shoulder, your eyes brimmed with tears from the pain of how big he actually felt without the extra lubrication that the condoms provided.
But you also moaned at how insanely good he felt raw. It was so good to finally feel him, every naked inch of him inside your walls, that you swore you would climax from just having him like this. 
"Breathe, baby," he whispered, kissing your moans with such tenderness that you almost broke.
"Joshua," you whimpered, your fingers digging on his shoulder.
"It's okay. I know, baby," he frowned slightly. "Do you want to stop?"
"No, no. I'm fine. Please," you begged, although you didn't know what you were begging for.
He released another breath when he finally bottomed out, your walls throbbed desperately around his length and he pressed his forehead against yours.
His eyelids fluttered closed before pulling his hips back, the feeling of his cock sliding out your wet walls felt good—so good that you were already whimpering and trembling.
"Okay?" he gasped, starting to push in and out of you.
"Yes, more than okay, Joshua," you stuttered, closing your eyes with a sigh.
"You're crying, baby," he pointed, he was still moving achingly slow.
"It-it's big—you're so big," you stammered pathetically.
He paused. "Am I hurting you?" his voice was laced with concern.
"No, it's not bad, Joshua. I can take it," you breathed.
It actually wasn't that bad—as he pushed his cock in and out you could feel your walls easing and stretching around it, adjusting to his size.
Joshua looked tense, he let out a groan when his hips started moving faster on you, then he pulled his body back, making you cry out in pleasure when the position of his cock inside you shifted, pressing on your front walls.
He brought a hand on your lower abdomen, his thumb finding your clit to start rubbing on it.
"Better?" he asked. He was still weary, his big eyes searching your face as he pushed his cock in and out on you, rubbing your clit to ease you from the lingering threads of pain.
"Yeah. Feels so good, Joshua," you sighed, swallowing thickly at the drag of his cock inside your walls. "So, so good."
"Yeah, I know," he replied with a low groan. "You feel good too, sweetheart. Fuck, so good."
You whimpered at the sound of his words, the way he pronounced each one with a tight jaw, his brow furrowing as he pushed his cock inside your walls at a delicious pace.
"So warm and wet, so fucking good, baby," he sighed.
His thumb pressed on your clit, rubbing it and teasing it senselessly, making you moan and squirm. It was too much, your hands clenched on your bed covers when you sensed your orgasm drawing near again.
"Oh, god. Fuck," you whimpered, writhing against your bed as Joshua dragged his cock in and out your clenching walls.
"Fuck," he groaned, his hips buckled for a second. "You're close. Right, bunny?"
You shook your head on your pillows.
Then, his fingers landed a slap right on your clit, making you yelp loudly. Clearly telling on your weak lie.
"Yes! Yes, I'm close, Joshua," you cried out.
He smirked in response, his hands holding your hips a second before he started ramming his cock faster inside your cunt. Your eyes widened at him and bit your lip hard enough to draw blood.
"Fuck," he muttered again before pulling out of you, right as your walls started clenching deliciously near your release.
"Joshua!" you whined, breathing furiously at him.
"Remember what I said," he was breathing hard too, probably because he was resisting his own pleasure only to edge you.
He carefully lowered his hard and wet cock on top of your tummy, you stifled a moan at the sheer size of it and the weight of it too. The reddened tip, the soft marks of a vein along the wet shaft, you bit your lip.
"Shua, please," you pleaded with a desperate sigh.
"That's not my name, baby," he snapped with a dark look.
"Joshua, I'll be good, just-"
"Tell me why I should believe you," he muttered as he moved to slide within your walls again, your heart swelled with a little satisfaction when he groaned in pleasure too. 
"I'll show you," you said weakly.
"Not good enough, princess," he shook his head as he slapped your pussy again, right in your sensitive clit.
"God, fuck!" you yelped loudly. "I'm sorry, Joshua. I'm sorry for pushing you away."
You moaned helplessly when leaned down a bit and spit on your cunt, covering your clit with his saliva to start rubbing circles on your swollen and oversensitive bud.
"Why, do you like to have me at your beck and call? You enjoy to fuck me and toss me away like one of your toys?" he muttered darkly.
Suddenly you regretted telling him to punish you, because he only wanted the truth from you, unlike last time he punished you and you had to try not utter a word while he fucked you into the bed.
But you could see that he was struggling to hold back, swallowing hard, his brow furrowed.
"No! You're not my toy—you're... you're," you stammered. Were you about to confess? Like this?
Your orgasm was threatening close, so you squirmed on your bed, trying to create some distance from his fingers teasing your clit. Joshua understood what you were attempting to do and started caressing it lightly, thinking that he was over stimming you.
"You're close?" he asked, realizing when he heard you sigh a moan.
But he didn't wait for your answer. Joshua pulled out again, his cock landing with a soft slap on your lower tummy. A single drop of cum dripped from his tip, but he wasn't cumming yet, you knew that by the way he was breathing in deeply, trying to contain himself.
If he only wanted the truth, you were deep in trouble. Because you push him away to avoid your growing infatuation over him.
"Joshua?" you called abruptly.
"Mm?" he lifted his gaze to find yours.
"What's your favorite color?" you asked breathlessly.
"What, why?" he frowned.
"Tell me," you pressed.
"Pink," he responded, his brow not relaxing.
"Really? That's cute," you sighed, Joshua's hips retracted from your body and he positioned himself again on his knees, his cock aligned with your core.
"Yours?" he asked with an air of reluctance.
You told him your favorite color.
"Why did I know you'd say that," he replied with a small smile.
"Your birthday?" you asked, feeling utterly pathetic.
He chuckled breathily. "What, why're you asking me this right now?"
"Tell me," you insisted. "Please."
"December 30th," he responded, looking confused.
A loud moan reverberated across your room, so loud that you almost wanted to cover your mouth when his cock sank into your walls again. He thrusted slowly, but then he continued rubbing your clit with his two middle fingers.
"What's yours, princess?" he asked, appearing to be following whatever you were trying to do. 
You told him your birthday through broken gasps.
"Still, I don't get why you ask," he breathed tiredly.
"I want to get to know you better," you told him with a whine.
Joshua smiled sweetly at you and that might've done it for you.
Your walls clenched around him and he groaned loudly, slamming his hips against you, the sound of his skin slapping against you filled the silence that followed between you.
Something you weren't expecting happened:  Joshua seemed to have forgotten about edging you, closing his eyelids tightly, his mouth parting a little. You loved to see when his face scrunched up like that, when he was so close that the muscles around his mouth relaxed, but his frown would deepen sweetly. 
Joshua threw his head back a little, a moan muffled in his mouth, his throat bobbing a little as he seemed to be immersed in pure pleasure. He didn't relent his hard thrusts on you, pushing his cock in and out your sopping walls while rubbing your clit expertly.
"Fuck, I can't—Joshua," you gasped. "I'm close. Please, please. Let me cum?"
Joshua groaned before lowering his gaze back at you. "Where do you want me, baby?"
It took you two seconds to understand what he was implying.
"Inside," you breathed. "Please. Cum inside me."
He nodded before he started ramming his cock in your walls faster, moaning loudly through clenched teeth. You moaned with him and sank your head into your pillows, back arching as the tension in your body only grew more intense.
"Joshua, oh god—Joshua," you called, not knowing what else to say, feeling all sanity slipping out of your mind, coming undone under waves of pure bliss washing over you.
"Baby," he called to you. "Say it again."
You blinked weakly, his words bringing you back to reality.  
"I'm yours, Joshua," you breathed.
"You're mine," he replied with a raw tone. "I'm gonna make you mine, right baby? You want that? Want me to stuff your pretty pussy full of my cum?"
You moaned and nodded desperately, your walls squeezing him hard the moment you heard his words.
"Yes, oh god, yes please," you whimpered.
He cussed and moaned as he came inside you, pushing his hips against you sloppily.
"You're mine," he whispered, his eyes glazing over the sight of you cumming hard with him.
"Only yours, Joshua," you responded wildly.
He groaned, your name spilling from his plump lips, pushing his cum deep inside you with lazy thrusts and came to a stop with heavy breaths.
His head thrown back slightly, his eyelids fluttering shut, his mouth parted. He looked so unreal, ethereal even.
Oh god. What have you done?  
Joshua seemed to come down from his high when you shifted on your bed ever so slightly.
"What was all that?" he demanded in a tone that still denoted his confusion still. "The questions."
"I know nothing about you, Joshua," you explained shyly.
And yet, you told him you were his.
But he blinked slowly and started laughing, his cock was still buried inside your walls.
"Don't laugh at me," you pouted through your hurt ego, though he had no idea why you started quizzing him mid-coitus.
"You couldn't wait till we were done?" he asked and giggled again when you shook your head.
He leaned forward, placing his arms above your head on your pillows and pressed his chest against yours, his eyes looking at you fondly.
"What other questions do you have for me?" he asked.
"I-I have plenty," you admitted meekly.
"Is there a reason why you want to know now? Or can it wait?" he kept his eyes trained on you, you noticed, he was gathering every reaction you showed.
"It can wait," you nodded. "Why?"
"Because you asked me to fuck you all night and I'm in the middle of that," he booped your nose with one finger. "Can you keep your questions until I'm done?"
A sweet smile crept on his face when your core fluttered around him and you groaned in utter embarrassment.
"Is that a yes?" he laughed.
You groaned again and slapped his shoulder slightly.
"I'll get something to clean you up," he muttered with a smile still, pulling his hips from you.
He returned some minutes later with a hand towel, which he had soaked with warm water and he gently cleaned the cum that had already spilled from your entrance.
"I found it in the cupboard. I hope you don't mind," he darted a look at you briefly.
"It's fine," you assured him. "I need to go to the bathroom to take care of everything else."
"Do you want me to carry you there?" he asked, getting up from the bed.
"I'm fine," you sat up on your bed. "Can we shower later?" you asked meekly.
"Sure, baby," he sighed softly.
When you came back to your bedroom, you had half-expected to see him asleep from how tired he actually looked. But he was lying on your bed, one leg crossed over and absentmindedly looking at his phone screen, one arm tucked under his head.
God, he was a sight to see. Chest and throat covered in hickeys, his black hair ruffled slightly, the bedroom eyes when he noticed you walking in.
You climbed your bed and lied on your side next to him.
"You're okay?" he asked after he left his phone on the nightstand and turned on his side to look at you.
"Yeah," you sighed. "Never better."
His fingers cupped your chin softly and you leaned to lock his lips with your own in a tender, hot kiss. Joshua moaned softly in your mouth when you felt his tongue slid in your mouth to mingle with yours.
You gathered in your mind what little and fruitless information you got from your long day with Joshua. Maybe you got it wrong this whole time, and you don't need to know what his favorite color is, although you did want to learn his birthday.
You could no longer hide your infatuation over Joshua Hong. It was becoming painfully obvious, though you weren't sure to what extent he was aware of this. Or if he even cared, for that matter.
There was one more painful realization to all of this, one that you didn't expect and probably overlooked because you were worried so much about your infatuation with him that you didn't care to see him with clarity.
Joshua was lonely.
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✮ a/n: i'm sorry
i have nothing else to say.
not really, haha
i love joshua, i loved writing this
if you liked this chapter please show it some love? 🥺
and happy holidays!! ヾ(•w•`)o
READ PART 5
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knightyoomyoui · 6 months ago
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[COMMISSION] LIVING WITH VAMPIRES: UNDER THE VEIL OF NIGHT  | TWICE x Male Reader | CHAPTER 1: "A Nightmarish First Encounter"
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Welcome to another brand new TWICE fic series of mine! This story will serve both as an adaptation and a soft reboot of the TWICE horror-comedy book titled “Living With Vampires” written by SaiDaChae29 published in 2020 which was sadly left discontinued until this day. For this one, it scrapped some of the parts from the original while others were kept and applied changes which will lead to its direct continuation. Special mention also to @nchris00 who ordered a commission and entrusted me to recreate this interesting story as his request. Hope this one won’t disappoint! Thank you so much again! -> Read the PROLOGUE here <- “LIVING WITH VAMPIRES: UNDER THE VEIL OF NIGHT” By knightyoomyoui Commissioned by: @nchris00 Part: CHAPTER 1 : "A Nightmarish First Encounter" Word Count: 5,879
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2 YEARS AGO
I knocked at the house where there was an old man living in there that I used to help throwing the garbage every night. As he opened the door, he greeted me with a curious gaze as soon as he saw me standing in front of his doorway.
“Jeonghoon? What is it?”
“Uhh hey pops uhm… I was just wondering if you have some extra food left there?” It took some courage to ask that from him, since this is my first time begging from somebody straight into their home for some food to eat. Also, I just did this now from him because he only just know me as a hobo who helps people throw trash in their neighboorhood.
“I already ate the leftovers that I collected few days ago so… if you won’t mind, can I-”
“You came at the right time, Jeonghoon. Ofcourse I will.” He nodded understandably after cutting off my words. I didn’t find it disrespectful at all now that he responded the same thing I was expecting for him to say to me.
He left me in his doorway to grab something from his kitchen. I heard some metal clanging and probably procelains, maybe grabbing something from the plates. I was curious but I remained in his doorway, without any intention to come inside and do something that would break his trust.
Because I will never do that. I may have know how it feels to lose something… but just because it happened worse to me that doesn’t mean I have to make others feel what I felt.
It’s painful, enough to have your life get destroyed in an instant.
Which is what I’ve been going through these days. Imagine I was having these things for me too until that person I thought would be the nicest one among everyone took it all away from me and didn’t spare nothing.
I didn’t noticed I was too occupied at my thoughts when pops here even had to pat my chest twice to steal my attention. “Hey, are you okay young guy? You must be spacing out.”
“Oh u-uhm… I-I’m really sorry pops, I didn’t heard what you said.”
“No don’t worry, I just called your name repeatedly and you can’t hear me, so I checked up on you and I found you hear staring at nothing.” The old man waves it off for me. I looked at his hands and he was carrying a tupperware of the food he cooked for dinner.
“I cooked too much that I wasn’t able to finish it all, that’s why I said that you came here at the right time because I feel a bit dismayed at leaving this extra for tomorrow.” Pops said to me. He handed it to me and I accepted it.
“Do you want to eat here?”
“I would be honored, pops but I think i’m fine out there. I would like to grab some fresh air afterwards.” 
He nodded and he took my answer well. “Okay, eat well Jeonghoon.”
“Thanks a lot again, pops. Good night.”
“You too, kid.”
I bowed again to double the respect I have for his kindness and he smiled softly for me because I helped him close the door. I looked at the beef steak he has for me and probably this is the first day since I lost a home that I smiled with pure genuine.
I looked for some spare bench here along the road and thankfully I found one where I can sit and enjoy this meal I have tonight. I opened the container and smelled the food, oh it was surely mouth-watering and fragrant. 
I prayed as my gratitude to have this kind of food despite of my poor situation. Without wasting much time, I grabbed the spoon he gave for me and I ate my dinner in less than three minutes, an effect of the hunger I was tried to hold onto since earlier.
After I finished my dinner, I went to my scraps to place this in a plastic so that I can return this to pops tomorrow. Then I went back at the spot where I decided to sleep along with my carton as my sleeping mat to make myself more comfortable.
I laid on the couch and stared at the stars above, deeply wondering what the future still awaits for me even after my life had its rock bottom state. Will I still be able to save myself and get back up to slowly reclaim what I never lost in the first place or… if I will be lucky…
Is there someone else out there who will be willing to lend me a hand and assist me with it?
I don’t know exactly, but not gonna lie I don’t lose hope yet. Well, I just think that’s what I should do while I’m still breathing and living you know? I don’t want to waste this opportunity yet, that’s why i have to find a way to look for something that will add more purpose of why i’m living right now. 
I still believe that just because we lost something in our life doesn’t mean we remain worthless forever. 
Anyways, enough of these deep thoughts. I just want to relax myself and call this a day. I just hope there’s a karma awaiting for that person who made me like this. There’s no instances that someone can just ran away freely after doing something reckless to others who did nothing wrong to them.
I closed my eyes and breathe deeply before I let my body soak into slumber.
However, few hours later I suppose, well since I don’t have a watch or a clock -I do have my phone with me but it’s still lowbat since I didn’t get to have my charger with me when I got abandoned-, my ears caught something irritating that woke my senses back up even if it doesn’t want to yet since it’s still midnight.
It was gibberish loud and since it’s slightly audible, I can tell that those noises were coming just nearby from me. I slowly opened my eyes and I blinked rapidly as I try to hear the noises again that caused my peaceful sleep to be rudely interrupted.
I groaned as my reaction before I stood back up. The sound became much clearer now, and I grabbed some of the words they’re talking about. Not being overly interested in gossips, but I do caught that they’re talking about ‘paying something because it’s already due’ thingie.
I looked around to find out what it is, and what I saw didn’t gave me a surprise, it just explained why the sound was so close to me.
There are three kids being cornered by a tandem of intimidating guys cornering them from left to right as they ask them about something.
They’re too busy at what they’re talking about so I tried to hid myself from the nearby lamppost to eavesdrop their conversation more.
“That’s a part of our deal, and we told you that each of us would respect our rules and roles here. We let you borrow our money… and you have to pay us back on the due date.” The guy on the right said, and he’s talking directly at that tallest kid who looks like he’s protecting those two little kiddos he has with him from them.
“I’m telling you sir please, I’m going to pay for it I know about that! It’s just that what I’ve been saving as of now isn’t enough yet to reach that amount.” He replied while trembling in fear.
“And do you think it’s a good thing that even if you don’t want your deadline to pass, you have no choice but to let it? Do we look like we are nice enough to give a second chance?” The left guy said, stepping forward to scare the three kids more.
I understood their situation now. So this kid took a loan agreement with them and these guys are the sharks who are trying to collect the money they gave to the kid as per the agreement says. I get it that they’re just following the rules but… does it really have to come this way?
“Look kid, you better do something right now to pay what you requested for us or else… we are the ones who will look for an alternative.”
“And hey man, I think I know what we should took rather.” He grinned evilly at his partner on the right before his sight landed on the kids.
He tried to reach the arm of that little guy but the tallest one sways his hand away to avoid having contact with the kid. “Get your hands off from them!”
Wait… oh no, are they thinking about the kids being the substitute payment for this guy’s balance?
“Then pay us right now or else you won’t be going to see these rats ever again!”
“No please, I’m begging you leave them out of this!” He shook his head and tried to rid them away while pleading for mercy.
“Shut up!” The left dude pulled his wavering hand at them and shoo-ed him away from the kids. My eyes largened and felt nervous for this guy and what these dudes would do to the poor kids who are crying now in fear.
“THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!!!”
“WELL THEY ARE NOW, BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT THEM INTO THIS MESS YOU SHOULD’VE AVOIDED IF ONLY YOU COULD’VE PAID US!” The right dude locked his grip on this kid’s slim arm. It tried to force himself out of the hold until this kid tried to bit his knuckle, making the dude scream in pain.
“AAAAISSSHHH, YOU LITTLE DEVIL!” He shook his hand before looking at the kid dangerously and unexpectedly slapped its face.
“No… NO!!!” The guy tried to approach the dude but he only received a huge blow onto his midsection, shutting him off. 
I couldn’t take this sight anymore, so I have to do something for these younglings. I know I’m not that much of a skilled person when it comes to self-defense or challenging somebody in a combat but… I can’t just let these kids to end up somewhere with fate unknown in the hands of these bastards.
Stupidly, I quickly went out of my hiding and tensely approached the dudes who are double-teaming the tall guy before they try to bring the kids with them. I noticed also that the black van that is parking on the side of the road belongs to them.
“HEY! Didn’t you heard what he said!” My puny self yelled at them with bent toughness. “He said they have nothing to do with your problem, so leave them alone!” I said while I eyed the kids who are looking at me right now with their pitiful watery eyes.
“And who the fuck are you?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m just a random guy on the streets that you two bitchasses ruined his sleep with your annoying rumblings.” I said with much confidence with them. This is the hilarious thing about me, I’m so brave at trashtalking bullies but when they come at me, I’m like a flower who easily covers itself for protection.
In short, I don’t know how to fight back with fists. Great.
“Well, is that so? We don’t give a shit about your beauty sleep, so turn around now, mind your business and you can get yourself back to your little sleep because we’re almost done here. How about that?” The left dude said as he tugged the hair of the tall guy’s hair, making him yelp at the sting it must have caused on his scalp.
I hissed irritably at the stubbornness of this loser. I sighed deeply then went back to arguing with them when I noticed that the dudes were about to carry the kids with them through the van. The tall guy looked at me, crying and pleaded.
“Please… mister… they can’t get away…”
“TYLER!!!” An old man suddenly shouted this guy’s name. I saw that he just came out of the door from this huge looking place. Then I figured out it’s name plastered on top of the entrance.
“ORPHANAGE”
Wait a minute? Orpha- so these kids are orphans? Now I know why this Tyler guy is so protective with these kids and highly concerned for them. Plus, their home is actually just right in front of them! That means they were about to head home when these bad dudes blocked them off from doing so.
“HEY, W-WHERE ARE THEY TAKING THEM!” The old guy saw the dudes carrying the kids who are crying and trying to wiggle off in their arms to escape.
I looked at them and breathe drelpy before I let my urges control me.
I ran immediately and just before they’re about to open the sliding door of their van, I pushed them both off into the ground, while apologetically involving the kids on the ground. I just thought that it’s the better way to stop them by getting distracted at the kids bodies colliding with them as they fall.
“GO, RUN!” I commanded the kids who were a bit confused at what I just did. I looked at both of them and they got my signal. They stumbled to stand but luckily they are able to ran back from Tyler and the old man. 
“You son of a bitch, look what you just did!” The dude who is laying down beneath me suddenly kicked me on the leg, effectively making me kneel on the ground at how painful it is to endure while standing.
As I was busy seething off the pain, the other dude took the advantage by blowing me in the back of the head with his hammered fists. I faceplanted on the ground and then I felt my entire body filled with shots coming from their attacks.
They kicked me with pure despise. It stopped for a while until I felt by body getting rolled and face up, the dude straddled me and gave me repeated punches to the face before my sight went blurred and complete black.
My eyes suddenly sprung up, and what greeted me was a view of a girl who seemed like she flinched a little when my eyes opened. Her head is upside down, so I figured that she’s looking at me from the edge of… wait, am I laying down on a couch?
“Jihyo-unnie! There’s a man sleeping on our couch!!!” The girl suddenly shouted for her Jihyo-unnie. I guess that was her sister or something but hold up, where was I?!
I made the hardest and most painful sat-up I ever did in my entire life, as I feel like my abdomen are tightening while I’m doing it. My head also feels a little dizzy so I groaned and hold it for support before I turned around.
And where the hell was I? Why am I in a very cozy looking room filled with women sitting around in front of me.
What I first noticed was the girl who is staring at me upside down, she is indeed on the edge of the couch on my side looking suspicious at me with her knitted brows.
Then on the other hand was the rest of the girls with her. The first one is wearing a purple T-shirt with a girl character on its chest, she’s watching the TV in the floor along with the pale-looking girl who I can almost compare her similarity to Snow White because of how bright her skin was.
The other ones on the couch were this girl with long legs, wolfcut haired, and in black t-shirt building a Lego figure on a table and the one beside her is a very gorgeous looking one with uhm… enticing thighs, sitting like a ball and very focused on her phone.
I seriously don’t know who are these girls and why did I end up here, but for now I’ll just leave what will happen to me based on their actions… but ofcouse that doesn’t mean I won’t do something about it.
“W-who are you?” I asked the long-hair girl with tattoos. “And how did I end up here?”
“I was about to ask the same thing about you, Mr. Nobody.” She crossed her eyes and popped the bubble gum she was chewing. “We just woke up and I just went down when we found you here laying so comfortably here in our dorm like it’s yours.”
Dorm?
Where in the blue hell am I actually am right now, seriously?
“What did you say? A dorm?” I asked her again.
“Yeah! Are you deaf or something?”
“I seriously don’t know this place. I don’t even have any idea why I’m here!” I felt embarassed when my raising voice accidentally caught the other girl’s attention, and now they’re looking at me with curiousity.
“Oh, he’s awake!” The girl in purple said. She doesn’t seemed to be frightened that a stranger is on a room with her friends, she rather sounds glee about it.
“Look wait, let me explain-”
“Tell that to her instead.” Chaeyoung flicked her head back when she sensed that a footstep is growing near from us. “Jihyo- unnie!!!”
“Yes yes I’m coming Chae, jeez.” This Jihyo said to her, sounding like she’s so done at this girl’s whiny voice. Oh, didn’t I just heard this tattoo girl’s name to be Chae?
While i was awaiting at this Jihyo’s arrival, Chae decided to scare me off with her gesturing me with her index finger that tells me I’m screwed… which was kinda effective and not at the same time because I don’t even know what this Jihyo can do and… her giving death warning isn’t suitable for a short girl like her with cute features.
I gulped but I hid my nervousness by glancing at her cluelessly at her. Then, a figure stood beside Chae, a short-girl one with large round eyes, almost had me questioning if she’s actually Korean or she’s half.
She was about to ask Chae but her eyes landed at me and just like how Chae greeted me when I woke up, she shared the same judgmental look.
“Who are you and what are you doing here in our place?”
“You asked exactly the same thing as this girl right here.” I pointed at Chae. “And I can’t give the answer as for you too, because I don’t even know how did I end up here.” I shrugged.
“Are you sure about that?” She raised her eyebrow to me, unsure if I was speaking the truth.
“She’s probably speaking lies, Jihyo-unnie! Who knows, maybe this idiot is an intruder!”
“Intruder?! I don’t even know how to lockpick or climb walls!” I said to this brat over here as I felt offended.
“Well guessing from that look of yours and how mysterious your identity are, you should be considered as one.” She traced my appearance from head and toe, as if she’s wondering why such a being like me is existing in this world.
“Look, I’m not as dumb as you think I am. I am very aware that such a hobo like me wouldn’t have even a slightest chance to enter or hell, own a dorm such luxurious as this!”
“Both of you, silence your mouths!” Jihyo stops me and Chae from having a war of words. “Chaeyoung is right, you better give us something you know or else we don’t have a choice but to call security and forcefully get you out of here.”
“Wait wait, I don’t know how but I’ll just tell you instead what I know!” I paused her after this irritating Chaeyoung even handed Jihyo her phone. She’s so obvious of making me look like I’m not very welcome here in their territory.
“But first uhm… where is your bathroom?” I said as my expression softened after sheepishly admitting that the nature is calling for my reproductive organs to release something in effect of my hydration.
“And what are you gonna do in there?” Jihyo questions me.
“She’s probably gonna try to run away, Jihyo unnie! Quick girls, block the-”
“I JUST WANT TO HAVE A BATHROOM BREAK, PLEASE.” I said as I hold my kidney spot tight, constricting my legs as I hold on my pee.
“Oh.” Jihyo reacted. “Cmon, Chae as if he’s gonna be out here by his own. Our lock is equipped with passcode remember?” She said as she patted Chaeyoung’s shoulder who seems sulking that she was proven wrong. “Anyways, the bathroom is on the right, you can see the hallway down here.”
“T-thanks”, I immediately stood up and bowed at them thankfully before I went for the location of it.
As I already reached the kitchen which is where the hallway that Jihyo mentioned was near at, I noticed that there’s another girl coming from upstairs coming rushing down and went for the fridge. She even ignored me as she just passed by at me.
I just gave her the same treatment and walked through the bathroom door but just as I was about to grab the knob and opened it, I heard what she said from behind that grabbed my attention.
“Ahhh… oh a fresh blood in the morning after a hangover is incomparably great!” 
I turned my body around slowly to look at Nayeon after what she just said, just want to confirm it if she’s joking or something.
But what I found out after was instead something much more serious to be like that.
I saw Nayeon holding a transparent pitchel filled with red substance on it while gulping its content with a glass on her other hand. She was kneeling in front of the open fridge.
It was like in the movies where a protagonist gets a camera shot where his or her figure gets zoomed in while the background shrinks as soon as that character finds something mind-blowing, that’s what it looked like to mr when I felt chills in my body.
“Nayeon, hurry up! I want that blood already!”
How in the fuck can they just pronouce that they are consuming blood so casually?! It’s nit even normal at all?!
Or else…
As Nayeon followed the voice where it came from, she caught my figure standing in the middle of the hallway, watching her in horror at the strange act she’s doing. I wished she didn’t even stopped, because she terrified me further when she leans away the glass from her, revealing her blood stained mouth.
“What the fuck… are you?” 
She stood up and left the kitchen as she starts walking towards me. I hurriedly turned the doorknob but it was locked. My heart beats even faster as I got confused and even more desperate to get myself away from this bloodlust woman.
It only stopped when my vision went back to pitch black as I couldn’t control my movement anymore.
I have no idea how long I snapped out, but in an instant i just recovered my consciousness back in this comfy couch again. This time, they aren’t around to be seen in what it seems to be their living room. However, I heard clanging noises from the back, I peeked to see what it is and there they actually are, all seated on their dining table with plates and foods all around their table.
The wolfcut girl was distributing the spoons for her roommates while the short-haired woman was assisting her on scooping up the foods for them. I was just silently watching them when someone caught.
“You’re back.” A girl that I haven’t seen yet spoke me as she faced her sitting posture onto me.
I just stared at us and she probably figured out that I haven’t met or know her yet. She chuckled and smiled as she realized it. “Join us.”
Her soft voice and elegant moves piqued my interest on her. She looks so gentle and very nice to get along with. Out of all the girls who I saw, my attention was pinned sharply at her. She just lets out an unexplainable aura that carries me to her.
I nodded and I stood up, which again caught their focus. Chaeyoung’s bright face turned back into an intense and angsty mood when she noticed me back alive again. Jihyo just looked at me seriously but my eyes averted more at this girl named Nayeon who was somehow avoiding her face at me.
I felt my heartbeat quicken again which caused my head to ache and feel a bit dizzy. I almost stumble but thankfully, the wolfcut girl caught my back. “You okay?”
“My head is a bit spiraling, but I’m good.”
“Yeah it’s better to eat first. I’ll give you a medicine after.”
She was about to direct me to their table but then I refused. “S-sorry, but can I go now? I don’t even have to be here, I’m sorry again for the incovenience that I caused-”
“Don’t disrespect unnie like that, now follow her and sit with us!” I didn’t expected that those inviting words, even though they were sounded a bit rude… came from Chaeyoung herself. I looked at her with shame and I just nodded in defeat. I don’t even want to try making this girl’s blood boil more if I already feeling weak.
Oh, great. Speaking about the blood.
As I slowly make my seat, my eyes are still staring at Nayeon who seems uncomfortable now with my look. I try to stop it but at the same time I’m just completely puzzled and disgusted at what I caught from her earlier.
“You can join us for breakfast, because what we learned about you gave me a bit of an assurance that there’s nothing wrong with you.” Jihyo said as she grabbed her spoon and fork before she nodded at the person in front of her from the distance to proceed as she starts eating her food.
It turns out to be the elegant girl sitting with the wolfcut girl and the one with tattoos beside her. “May we know your name first?” she asked me.
“J-Jeonghoon. Min Jeonghoon.”
“Do you remember how did you end up here in our dorm?”
I stopped for a while as I attempt to recall the last scenarios I’ve gone through, which was from last night… but it was like some sort of a missing puzzle pieces, because I couldn’t remember it entirely.
“A bit. All I know is just I beat up some guys because I caught them trying to abduct the siblings of this kid that they intimidate. I’m pretty sure I got knocked out, but… I really don’t know how am I now here, in this type if place with you all.” I explained.
“Someone brought you here with us. That person found you unconscious outside with a badly beaten body.” Jihyo starts to enlighten out the things I temporarily forgot.
“And you should be thanking right now at her.” She glanced back at the elegant girl who just smiled at me and nodded back. My eyes widened when I understood that she was the one who saved me. 
“I’m sorry if you haven’t met me a while ago when you woke up, I just went for some exercise in our gym.” She bowed her head. “My name’s Mina, and I’m the one who brought you here.”
“W-wait, but how…” 
“Since you couldn’t remember when you went through last night, I was a friend with the old guy who owns the orphanage and a guardian of those three kids you saved out there.” She started to narrate what previously happened. 
“He called me along with the police because well… lets say he knows me as someone he can entrust a lot about.” Mina shrugged. “I volunteered to get you healed here while the old guy reported the incident to the police so… that’s the reason how you end up here in our place.” 
I felt relieved and contented that I have an idea now of what I just did, that I was also responsible actually of bringing myself into here, sharing a room with these 9 girls that even though I never met them in my entire life, they seem to be good people and I can somehow try to connect and make myself trustworthy to them… in return of what Mina did to me.
“We learned from Tyler, the kid you saved that they were caught by the loan sharks and you went there to stop them from kidnapping his fellow orphans in exchange of his unpaid balance.” Jihyo said. “And your kind deed was enough to make me convince that maybe you’re not actually what we hope you won’t be. That’s why we talked about even thought Chaeyoung here was… still hesitant-”
“We still don’t know him, unnie! I won’t still trust him around us.” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes as she spatted a toxic gaze at her before returning to her food.
“Exactly what I was saying, but she was still right. We may be appreciating what you did for the kids Jeonghoon but… you got to prove us more. We still don’t know much with you yet.”
“But you’re now welcome to interact with us.” The wolfcut haired girl spoke to me with a nice smile. I felt grateful that they gave me a chance somehow even thought I ended up looking weird for them.
“Thank you so much, I will do my best, I promise.” I said to them, bowing respectfully. 
I started to eat along with them. While I was savoring how delicious the food was, my eyes caught this girl that I last seen drinking blood. I still can’t get it out of my head. As I get drown fron my curiosity, all of us flinched and got a mini heart attack when she suddenly stood up and slammed her fist on the table, towering at me with her deadly stare.
“CAN YOU STOP LOOKING WITH ME, I COULDN’T EAT PEACEFULLY WITH YOUR STARES! IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME ALREADY ABOUT THE BLOOD I DRANK EARLIER, THEN FREAKING DO IT ALREADY!”
All of us went silent while I found the other girl with bangs slapped her head frustratingly. We locked into a staring contest until Jihyo slids between.
“Nayeon! Calm down!”
“What did you just said, Nayeon unnie?!” Wolfcut asked her older friend which revealed to be her name as Nayeon. Her voice has sn evident disbelief in it. 
Nayeon realized what she just accidentally released in her mouth, so she quickly covered it with her palm as she nervously looked around at us especially to Jihyo.
“I-I’m sorry… I-”
“You heard her right.” I said as I still confronted Nayeon. “I caught Nayeon drinking blood from the fridge, even complimenting that it was the best thing to aid hangover.”
All of them gasped and this girl beside me who was using her phone earlier clicked her tongue thrice. Wait, did I mentioned already that she looks like the tallest of them all? Well, excluding me because her head is leveled just right on my shoulder.
“Do you girls know about this? Why is she drinking blood? What are you girls hiding from me?”
They all went suspiciously silent for a moment, my fear and nervousness is increasing my heartbeat’s rate at this point, being beware of their secret that hides their true identity.
“W-wait, Jeonghoon can you give us a minute to t-talk?”
“No more time needed, just tell me right away!” I stood up, feeling alarmed at them. They all posed a taken aback expression at my frightful demeanor.
“Are you girls belong in some crazy ass cult or what? Because you girls didn’t disposed the fact that she drank blood means one thing only that you girls know about this and this just seems normal to yall. Thinking that you girls ain’t normal makes me wanna leave this room already!”
“Jeonghoon, please wait!”
They all stood up at the same time, which even looked like more creepy to me. I stepped backwards, being defensive for myself. “NO! DON’T YOU DARE TAKE ANY MORE STEP COME NEAR ME!”
I looked at the door at the near end of the hallway, which helped me to plan what I have to do after. I gotta get out of this place as they all soon to come after me. I better hurry out and ran as fast as I can.
Just as I had a plan formulated in my mind, the elegant girl took our attention when she suddenly yelled that I couldn’t even consider if she actually yelled because of how light like a feather her voice was.
“W-we are v-vampires, that’s why!”
They all gasped unbelievably at their friend who just exposed and retreated at their guilt.
“MINA! WHY DID YOU SAY IT?!” The bangs girls got infuriated at her.
“I-I just couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t lie!”
“Shit… you all are…” I looked at them and soon the sight of them looking like these precious set of women goes shifting into this unimaginable monsters that I never wanted to come across with.
“Oh god… so that’s probably why you all took me, to feed me to become more healthy… so that later tonight you all can eat me and have my blood huh! You girls like the dark and a fresh blood, like what that girl said!” I hauntingly said while pointing at Nayeon who lowered her head, probably felt pain at my accusation.
“Guess what, you all can’t have it. Because I’M GETTING OUT OF HERE!”
“GIRLS, GET HIM!
I moved as fast as I can, sprinting to the door and tried to open it. I looked back to see all the girls except Jihyo, the wolfcut one, Nayeon, and the thighs girl not joining the rest who is chasing after me.
I realized that there’s a keypad underneath the knob. I remembered that Chaeyoung told me that I have no chance of getting out of here because their door is secured with a pass code.
OH SHIT! 
“HELPPP!!! HELP ME!!!”
I pounded the door as loud as I can before I felt the bangs girls tackled my lower part and pulled my legs, sliding me to the ground with my front colliding on the floor.
Meanwhile, Jihyo and the wolfcut girl was talking about something when I saw the tall girl suddenly speak with them.
“Just tell him the truth, unnie. We can’t do anything about it already. It’s too late.”
“Nowhere to run, Jeonghoon!” Chaeyoung said to me before she maniacally smugs and laughs. I saw a glimpse of her fangs growing wiith her pupils shrinking and eyes glowing into color red.
“GET OFF ME!!! NO, PLEASE!!! SOMEBODY SAVE M-RAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
The three of them just watched the rest pulled my body away from the door as I clawed in the front while screaming in dread and terror, with my fate unknown being at the possession of these girls who turned out to be vampires in disguise.
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stardewremixed · 10 months ago
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Stardew Valley Employment Headcanons
I've been thinking a lot about how many folks in the Valley don't work. In some ways, it feels realistic. A small town that is clearly dying until the Farmer comes along struggles with unemployment rates. It could be related to high taxes (*side-eyes* I'm looking at you, Lewis) and competitive megacorporations (like Joja) undermining the local economy. However, I'd like to do a little headcanon for the residents and their job situation.
Under spoilers, because TL;DR.
Abigail - after graduating with a degree in art history, Abigail starts working out in her mother's fitness group. She starts swimming at the spa. And she starts a workout regiment with Alex. Of course, this leads her to finally join the Adventure Guild full-time, protecting the Valley and exploring the depths of the mines. She still jams from time to time with Sam and Seb. I also like to think she leads a local Scouts troop.
Alex - this man deserves to have an amazing job as a pro gridball player. However, while he waits, he could coach a local kids team at the Community Center. I can also see him work part-time stocking shelves at Pierre's General Store. Maybe he lifeguards at the Ginger Island Beach during the busy season or drives deliveries out to Sandy in the desert for Pierre. Or he could work with Robin. Mmm... this man, chopping wood... fantasies. He still sells ice cream in the summertime maybe on the weekends or at festival days (because come on, Pierre needs a little competition and I love the idea of pineapple ice cream at the luau and stardrop sorbet at the moonlit jelly fest). I also see him doing odd jobs around the valley until he gets more stable work at Pierre's or Robin's. Need someone to fix your leaky roof? Alex is your man! (Because Evelyn mentions George can't do it anymore).
Elliott - I still like the idea of Elliott's secret wealth and he escaped his family to become a writer. However, maybe he regularly submits poems and sonnets via various contests online under a pseudonym, and does a few freelance articles (maybe on small towns, fishing, romance, etc.). This man deserves to publish a masterpiece and make it on a bestseller list, then gets an agent, and of course, publishes a series. He still does readings in the Valley at the library and the Saloon because he always wants to remember his humble roots and the people who cheered him on when he was a nobody in the business.
Emily - She absolutely needs to start a side-business as the town tailor. It's kind-of already in the lore, but I could see her starting up an online business (maybe with the help of Seb) on an Etsy-esque site. Also, I can see her helping out on the farm for a little something extra when she's not working at the Saloon. Maybe tending to the flowers, watering plants when the Farmer is in the Mines or off on the island or in the desert for the day. She mentions she would like to do this, but Gus apparently frowns on a side job. Hmm... well, I can see this girl eventually leaving her job at the Saloon to pursue her sewing passion full-time. She totally hosts a yoga class in the winter at the Community Center.
Harvey - He is already a well-respected town doctor, but the man is so stressed that he is hardly ever in the Clinic (at least not without mods). I propose Harvey hires some extra help, an associate, maybe another nurse, and a receptionist to assist, especially if patients from surrounding towns (like he mentions) start visiting (i.e. expansions). And he teaches first aid classes at the Community Center.
Haley - Like Leah, she needs an art exhibit to showcase her photography. Unlike the other villagers, I don't see her staying in the Valley, eventually pursuing the work of a freelance photographer and traveling the world (like her absentee parents). She does make an annual trip back for the Flower Dance, her favorite festival. I have pursued Haley the least in game so I'm struggling to come up with more ideas here.
Leah - Speaking of Leah, she transforms the Valley into a premier art destination. She can teach art classes at the renovated Community Center. She teams up with Seb and Sam (and drags Elliott along for the ride, and the writing) to produce an avant-garde film about the art all around us in small towns. I also think she grows her own herbs and sells them at Pierre's, festivals, and the Farmer's Markets (as she gives me green witch vibes). Maybe she partners with Caroline (or the Wizard) to create some herbal potions and creams. And of course, she's still at it with woodworking, though these days she works on commission for those types of projects.
Sam - This man deserves to be a rock star. And I think he'd make a great solo artist. However, if his guitarist dreams don't pan out, he has options. In the vanilla game, he starts working with Gunther at the museum after JojaMart closes. It's a strange choice, but... I figure, maybe he minored in anthropology in college. He would absolutely give amazing tours of the museum, full of exuberant commentary, perfect for kids field trip days too. And I think he plays gigs in Zuzu City and at the Saloon regularly, and maybe even out at Sophia's winery (Stardew Valley Expanded).
Maru - Nursing just doesn't really seem to fit this woman of multiple interests. She finally pursues her passion of robotics and goes to work in a proper lab in a nearby City (doesn't have to be Zuzu - my headcanon is Pine-Mesa City or Grampleton from Stardew Valley Expanded). I think she makes regular trips to the Planetarium too. I could see her visiting the Valley on long weekends, and maybe taking the local kids club on a night-time stargazing event in the summer.
Sebastian - Please give this man a proper window in his basement, Robin! Okay, if he doesn't marry the Farmer, Seb moves out anyway and goes to live in the City for a while, to find investors for his indie game studio. In the meantime, he continues to do freelance programming work. And then, one day, he makes a breakthrough game that revolutionizes the industry. After making A LOT of money, he invests in a SAVE-THE-FROGS campaign, hires multiple developers and other staff, and starts working on his next big game. But he still makes time to jam with Sam and Abi from time to time, and of course, take long rides on his motorcycle.
Penny - This poor woman needs some love. Penny pursues her higher education and officially receives her teaching license. She is hired by the local school district so she can do more than just tutor. She can finally afford her own little apartment. She starts a kids club in the Community Center, and creates a summer reading program at the Stardew Library. And I like to think she takes a monthly trip to Zuzu City to shop in a big bookstore for fresh reading material when she has some down time.
Shane - Oh this guy is definitely a mess. If you don't "romance" him in game, he doesn't really turn his life around, and even if he does, it doesn't really point to recovery as it should, imo (without the help of mods). This man hates his job, and yet he feels stuck. I propose the following. After he recovers in therapy, completes rehab, and genuinely quits drinking (forever), and of course, loses his job at Joja (suck it, Morris!), Shane starts working at Marnie's shop and contracts out as a farmhand all around the Valley. Then he can be a proper godfather to Jas, and provide some actual service at the Ranch (when Marnie's off doing who knows what with you know who...)
I have thoughts for the other Villagers in the Valley too, but I'll save those for a different post.
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robin-the-enby · 1 year ago
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Black butler Ciel with a older sister who rather spend more time reading, writing, spend time in her imagination, or her own self interests than run the company. She has her own business of running a successful book series.
Pairing: Ciel Phantomhive x older sister!reader Warnings: mentions of past trauma (not descriptive) A/N: Thank you very much for the ask and, as usual, I'm so sorry for the delay. If you don't mind, I decided to write this as headcanons. Also, the relationship between Ciel and the reader is strictly platonic. I have decided that I will not write romantic Ciel works anymore, because he's a child. And while I did have a crush on him when we were the same age, I have moved on and it would be highly inappropriate, I believe.
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I think it's safe to say that you are very important to Ciel. You are his last living relative after all.
It doesn't matter if you're close or not. I don't think Ciel would appear to want to be close to anyone, even a relative. But that isn't really the case.
Now, he's definitely not clingy. He's self-sufficient, maybe a little too much. He definitelly doesn't need to rely on you.
But that doesn't mean he doesn't like to spend time with you. On the contrary. And since you are the quiet type, it makes spending time together much more comfortable for him.
He would be the type of person to do his own thing and let you do your own, just...in the same space. He could be sorting paperwork in his office, but you would be there as well, just a few meters away from him, scribbling down in a notebook on drawing in your sketchbook.
It's comfortable, it's quiet, and it means the world to him. If he looks past the age difference (and that little voice that tells him that maybe your roles should be exchanged), he almost feels normal. And that type of peace is very rare in his life, so he takes any and every chance to spend time with you like this.
It was very strange to him though, mostly at first, when he returned to the mansion. The way you are so different. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that you have no interest in the family company, or that you rather spend time in your own head than in th real world.
He does get the appeal of that, it's just that he thinks it's...foolish. He is a logical person, who always thinks ahead, to rule out any possibility of others taking advantage of him again. If he submitted to the luxury of running away from the past that still haunts him, he would achieve nothing.
But the more time he spends with you and the more he integrates himself back into the regular world (as regular as it can be for him at least), he sees that you're many things, but not foolish. Yes, you're a dreamer, perhaps a bit naive, but not stupid.
In the end, he prouds himself to be your brother. You have a great imagination and sometimes you help him more than you could imagine. If he has a case to solve, you help give him an outside look into things from a perspective he could never even imagine.
He appreciates your art as well. It would depend on your style and whether or not you were spared the torture he went through to determine how much, but he definitely appreciates it and thinks it's beautiful. If your style is a form of self presentation, translation of your shared traumas and deepest feelings, he might like it just a smidge more.
When you present the idea of publishing your own book, he is definitely on board. He likes to read your stories anyway, he can't see why others wouldn't enjoy it. He would definitely help you find the best publisher and arrange the best deal for you (with a little help from Sebastian, if needed).
When your book becomes a hit in London and the readers as well as critics start asking for a sequel, he feels proud. Proud of himself, for helping you make your dream come true, but mostly proud of you. For not conforming to expectations of others, who would assume you'd take over the Phantomhive company, but instead following your dreams and working hard to make them come true. It is that kind of strength he really admires. But of course, he knows how the world works and so he thinks his help was neccesary (and would continue to be in the future).
In the end, you have sort of a symbiotic relationship. Whenever you need anything for your work, Ciel gets it for you. Art supplies, sketchbooks, he can get you anything and you best believe it'll be in the best quality as well. He also helps you make deals with potential publishers or anyone who is interested in your work, making sure no one tries to scam you and that you get the most benefits from your labour.
In return, he asks for nothing. You already give him everything he needs from you. Your company. He gladly takes on the task of managing the family business, if it means that you can still sit by him in his study, scribbling away, as if nothing in the world had ever gone wrong.
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elumish · 5 months ago
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My Experience With Digital-First Royalty-Only Publishing (Part 2)
Disclaimer: just my experience, may not reflect other people's
Part 1 (What is this sort of publishing; how did I get published; what does the submission, contract, and editing process look like)
Book Release:
My [redacted] book came out in April 2024. It is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and the publisher's own website, where it is listed for a couple dollars less than on Amazon/B&N. It's available both digitally (in multiple different file formats) and for print (paperback).
I can't speak for whether this is standard across these sorts of publishers, but it probably isn't unusual. This does mean that the book can't be available on Kindle Unlimited, given how Kindle Unlimited's requirements work.
The timing for this sort of publishing is extremely fast compared to traditional or even small-press print publishing. I signed the contract in late August 2023 and sent in the final draft to my editor in late October 2023, and the book was released in late April 2024.
Book cover:
For designing my book cover, they pointed me towards where they pull stock images from and asked me to describe the sort of cover I would want, including possible stock images. They also asked for physical characteristics of my characters, which is when I realized that I had no clue what my characters look like.
The stock image website included AI art, as well as regular non-AI stock images. I specifically requested no AI art, including no AI-generated stock images. As far as I am aware, they respected that request.
Once they created one, they sent me a mock-up and asked about minor changes (typography, etc., from what I remember). I didn't have any changes. Overall, my cover looks like what I described to them, and I'm really happy with it.
Marketing:
My marketing experience with my publisher has been decidedly underwhelming. They seem to have started to revamp their marketing process right around when my book came out, so my book didn't receive/hasn't received a huge amount of marketing support from them.
What they gave me marketing-wise: a few marketing images for pre-release/post-release, including Twitter and FB header images, etc.; general marketing guidance for what I could/should be doing; a couple of mentions on their publisher Instagram post-release and a mention in their weekly newsletter
What they didn't give me marketing-wise: connection to reviewers, including sending an ARC or providing a list of reviewers that might be good to work with; marketing materials for sites like TikTok or Instragram; a meaningful amount of airtime/mention on their accounts; a large following of their own
Overall, the marketing is what is probably most like self-publishing--a huge amount of it is on me (and I am terrible at it). It will be interesting to see what their revamp brings, but they are starting from a minimal following and not a lot of previous activity on their accounts, and so they also need to build their reach to make their marketing on their accounts more effective.
Royalties/payment:
I get paid on a monthly basis through PayPal. I also receive a royalty statement that lists days, amount/type sold, etc. so I can reconcile with what they have paid me. From what I have seen this royalty statement is pretty standard.
So far, they've been prompt and haven't had issues with payments.
However, because of (among other things) their general lack of marketing, my royalty statements have been fairly low. So far (and, granted, the book came out less than 2 months ago) I have made very little money on this.
My Path Forward:
I've thought a lot about whether I will continue to do this sort of publishing. I am currently querying my "main" books, and I don't plan to publish them through this sort of publishing, even if the publisher would likely accept them.
My contract stipulates that my publisher has right of first refusal for the rest of the books in this series. I am currently writing book two, and I plan to also write a third, as I had initially discussed with them. Beyond that, I'm not sure. I don't mind working with them as a company, but I don't know if they have the processes in place for me to make money publishing with them.
One thing I will likely do is explore other romance publishers that accept unagented submissions. They have a much lower barrier of entry and they are often willing to accept books that trad publishers might not want to spend money/reputational risk on.
As such, I would likely submit to these publishers stories that I don't think traditional publishers/agents would likely to be willing to publish, including more niche subgenres and less standard lengths that are easier to publish digitally.
Why do I redact the name of my book?
Honestly because I'm a coward and because people are weird about romance, especially certain subgenres of romance. I also plan to use this account for my main agented publishing, if I ever reach that point, and I don't necessarily want those two pen names associated.
Any other questions about this sort of publishing?
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luffyvace · 8 months ago
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HIHIHIHI TYSM FOR DOING MY REQUEST ^U^ I hope u Don't mind me dropping another one u :'))
Can I have kusuo reaction to Reader-chan being mostly know for her gore/angst/horror series but looks like nothing for a person to write this stuff (she looks absolutely innocent) yet having a (technically an old man) friend who is also anonymous writer for one of kusuo favorite series yet the said look absolutely opposite of it (the reader-chan and her friend are like Junji Ito and hayao miyazaki)
I'm sorry if u couldn't understand the request:')) my English isn't really the best-
HII DARLING! No problem at all! Of course I don’t mind! Request at any time as long as they say open <3
ohhh so she’s a horror writer :> OHHH I was confused at first but as soon as I searched them up and saw the memes I understood 😂💓
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This is such a cute and funny topic! Enjoy your hcs anon 💖 ⚠️ Gore mentions⚠️
Kusuo isn’t easily scared.
there are very few things that actually do scare him, considering he can sense everything coming from a mile away
But shows and books are an exception (given he doesn’t stare at the pages to see through the book-)
he’s not normally into horror but your manga is actually very interesting to him!
seeing a bunch of mutilated corpses packed together is quite a gripping sight for him!
and honestly he is obbsessed likes normalcy but your case is a type of unique he doesn’t mind :)
it’s funny since you have this friendly and kind personality and your work is the exact opposite of that 🤗
it’s giving the cute core girlies!! (and guys!! <3) 💓💗💖🌸🌷💞🎀
he still gets the perk of reading the chapter before publish and giving small ideas for stuff
You once put his favorite character from another series in one of the manga panels and he when he noticed it he had a little smile on his face! 💗
he wasn’t excpecting you to do that at all and it was a pleasant surprise ;3
your introduced him to your friend and he also likes his work now!
Y’all are literal polar opposites- and ngl? He enjoys the balance!
like when he wants some exhilarating and goosebump-giving action he’ll pick up one of your mangas’
and when he’s feeling mellow while eating some coffee jelly on his bed his new (second) favorite author to read from is your friend!
His number one author is of course you ♥︎
would recommend his friends (specifically Kaido) one of your mangas to freak them out
they definitely won’t be expecting it seeing as though your such a cheerful person! 🌸🎀🌷
I feel like Torisuka would genuinely enjoy your manga as well!
he doesn’t get scared easily by creepy stuff for obvious reasons 😋
so you’ve got yourself another supporter !!
I have a feeling my girl boss Airua would get creeped out but 1) she wants to support you so she would probably buy and either never read or 2) read it anyway because it’s so interesting
like you captivated people with your work!
just as much as your friend does with more gentler topics
but in a different sense
You make your audience quite literally cover their eyes in fear yet still peak through they’re fingers with anticipation !
like that’s how good it is!
a “I can’t look away” type of thriller!
also you know that really talkative guy with the bob?
yeah he over analyzes your manga once he finds out about it
(which let me tell you- Kusuo tried his hardest to keep him away from it—but much to his luck- he got a hold of it anyway)
thankfully he likes it!
he’s scared- but once again- he just can’t look away :)
he comes to you and gives your extremely detailed compliments and (positive) feedback after each chapter is released and says he can’t wait for more
he also tells his expectations and predictions for the next one and hopes you’ll live up to them
so when your exceed them he’s more than thrilled (GET IT?? Ok..)
he’s practically able to predict every book or manga he reads because he analyzes everything
so when your able to surprise him he’s impressed!
after Kusuo he’s the first one to buy a copy
(cuz yk Kusuo gets those special you-get-the-first-copy-before-it’s-published-because-your-my-boyfriend-privileges)
LOL
the bob guy is low key jealous of him for getting it before it’s even PUBLISHED
tries to bargain you to get that too but it’s strictly reserved for Kuu ♡
okay I looked up bob guy’s name
it’s Akechi Touma (oops)
LOL “bob guy”
enjoy!! Pretty short but I think they’re a delight~
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whetstonefires · 2 years ago
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Do you have any opinions on Scholomance?
I do! I like it a lot. I really enjoyed all three books, blitzed through them easily and was much more excited to see how the plots unfolded than I'm used to these days, as a jaded adult, and I also really appreciated them as works of craft.
Especially the first one, I spent the whole time being all 'wow!' at how simple it was. So easy to read, but no waste. You really need to know what you're doing, to get that kind of pared-down elegance of form to work and still fit so much content in.
Like these are dense, there's a fantastic stylistic minimalism that allows El's character all the space it needs to breathe by making absolutely every other thing and person in the whole novel also do character work for her, which is exactly where the first person voice shines.
Also great use of character perspective to make the pacing feel really natural, so the fact that the first book takes three weeks, the second book takes one year, and the third book is like. Five or so incredibly stressful days spread out over the course of a few weeks? Doesn't feel imbalanced.
I actually got distracted from the story a few times by noticing the strength of Novik's technique. 😂 This is a me problem, in itself it's the opposite of distracting. Very low-profile.
I think the Scholomance is a great example of how far you can go in specfic when you aren't cringing from the label 'derivative,' because the Scholomance books feel very fresh ad clean specifically because nothing in them is concerned with standing out as 'original,' whatever that's supposed to mean, only with being well-executed and suitable to its task.
Hm, maybe that's where Liesel was born, the intersection of the efficient narrative style and the vast proportion of the story that concerns the maximization of utility and the instrumentalization of persons by themselves and others, and the forces that incentivize these behaviors. Or maybe she's just the narrative counterweight to Orion 'Head Empty' Lake lmao. How's that for a principle of balance, Galadriel?
I really did enjoy how beautifully it was laid out, over and over, in dozens of shades of humanity, how no matter where you go in an exploitative system almost everyone is being driven by the same survival instincts.
Because I don't think I've ever seen made so cleanly clear why you just can't expect any person or small group of people, no matter their level of goodwill or status, to unmake one of these systems from the inside; how it's not a matter of people being bad but of every single person being very...small.
And then not retreating into the idea of a person who is Big coming and breaking the cruel system from the outside as some kind of panacea, because 1) that is terrible, even if it's necessary and done in the best way possible and 2) that's not a sustainable answer to anything. Getting a balance between the protagonist being able to effect change and not subscribing to the great man theory of history can be really tricky!
Also did I mention, I love El, and I love most of the cast, even the dreadful ones. How am I going around with this many feelings about Li Shanfeng who doesn't appear until the actual climax?
The romance murdered me a bit, but it took up no more space than it absolutely needed to do its job, and I respect that. Also I appreciated Orion as a love interest; Novik has a slight record at this point of a version of that style of male love interest who's like a caricature of Mr. Darcy but old, which was shaping up to be my least favorite thing about her body of work.
...Orion is kind of like if you took the human king from Spinning Silver and gave him an alignment flip come to think of it, so he's not coming out of nowhere. Lmao.
Which reminds me (re: romance character typing) I've heard Novik didn't want it to be known she was astolat, which this series has renewed my sympathies if so. Because if I were a published novelist I wouldn't want people going 'you know, that resolution was really emotionally satisfying! reminds me of that fic she wrote where optimus prime and megatron get stuck in a hole underground and hatefuck about it.'
I don't even like Transformers. That fic almost made me cry. Actually I suspect it reads better if you don't like Transformers because I'm sure it does not give a shit about canon.
Anyway, whoever pointed out that one of the things El has going on is she's Enoby (and we're going to sit down and explore what the true reason to put your middle finger up at preps is, and what are some constructive ways to channel that socioeconomic wrath, and what it means that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism) was right and I'm not entirely over that either.
Fucking love El's mom as a character. Spectacular level of parent relevance and usefulness. A+.
Aadhya and Liu are also characters who fucking delivered.
Re: minimalism though, I laughed at the start of The Golden Enclaves when I realized that none of the enclaver characters who'd gotten development in the the first two books were from London, the enclave El was theoretically shooting for when we met her.
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ardafanonarch · 9 months ago
Note
Hello, in fic I've come across mentions of
- the elves stopping frequently on their journey to Aman to have sex (and Orome urging them forward by creating storms?)
- elf sex being too intense for most mortals to survive
I think these come from HoME or NoME (or similar sources), but I've never seen the actual quotes. There might be other things related to elf-sex in there as well.
So I guess my question is: What else did Tolkien mention about elf sex, apart from (the already relatively well-known) LaCE?
Elf Sex Lore
There comes a time in every Tolkien fan’s journey when they come upon the Professor’s writings on Elf sex — and, since 2021, there are even more! Elf Sex Lore remains a hot topic as the fandom continues to experience the aftershocks of the spurt of new lore that came with the publication of The Nature of Middle-earth (NoMe) in 2021.
As you say Anon, before NoMe was published, the fandom’s primary resource on Elf sex was the (in)famous essay Laws and Customs Among the Eldar (LaCE), published in 1993 in Morgoth’s Ring, the tenth volume of the History of Middle-earth series. LaCE is full of juicy (or not-so-juicy) lore about Elven aging, marriage, gender roles, naming, death, and rebirth.
It is in relation to the first two that we get some details on Elf sex, such as the knowledge that “it was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete.” (Laws B). We also learn that:
“…the Eldar say* that in the begetting, and still more in the bearing of children, greater share and strength of their being, in mind and in body, goes forth than in the making of mortal children. For these reasons it came to pass that the Eldar brought forth few children; and also that their generation was in their youth or earlier life, unless strange and hard fates befell them. But at whatever age they married, their children were born within a short space of years after their wedding. For with regard to generation the power and the will are not among the Eldar distinguishable. Doubtless they would retain for many ages the power of generation, if the will and desire were not satisfied; but with the exercise of the power the desire soon ceases, and the mind turns to other things. The union of love is indeed to them great delight and joy, and the ‘days of children’, as they call them, remain in their memory as the most merry in life; but they have many other powers of body and of mind which their nature urges them to fulfil.” The History of Middle-earth Vol. 10: Morgoth’s Ring, ‘The Later Quenta Silmarillion (II)’, Laws B
*Note how this paragraph is introduced: “the Eldar say”. Phrases like this signal to us that LaCE is not written from a Elvish point of view. There are indications elsewhere clearly pointing to a human author with a human audience in mind.
Translation: Elves use up a lot of energy in baby-making, including in the sex part (“begetting”) but even more in the pregnancy and birthing part (“bearing”), so they don’t have a lot of children and they do so early in life, shortly after marriage. But even if they marry later in life, Elves are still able to have babies because being able to and wanting to reproduce are the same thing for Elves. But once they’ve fulfilled the desire to make babies they’re good and turn to other things. Still, they look back on the time of baby-making as “the most merry in life”.
In most (if not all) cases, when Tolkien writes about sex he is writing about reproduction. Did Elves have sex solely for pleasure? Maybe; I cannot find anything that says they didn’t. I also can find little conceptual separation of sex and reproduction in Tolkien’s writings. Make of that what you will.
(At this point I want to reiterate a principle central to this blog: it’s about presenting what canon says; it is not about casting judgement on creations that subvert, reinterpret, or ignore canon, none of which makes a work lesser than one which adheres strictly to canon.)
So what did NoMe add to our knowledge about Elf sex? First of all, let’s make sure we all know what NoMe is.
What is The Nature of Middle-earth?
NoMe is a volume of texts by J.R.R. Tolkien collected and edited by Carl Hostetter. It is basically a supplement to the last three volumes of The History of Middle-earth (Morgoth’s Ring, The War of the Jewels, and The Peoples of Middle-earth), which cover a period from the late 1950s to his death during which Tolkien was undertaking a rather massive project of worldbuilding, working out the structures underlying his Silmarillion mythology in preparation for revising and publishing what he had written of it before ‘a sequel to The Hobbit’ (LotR) took him away from it for the better part of two decades.
Christopher Tolkien in Morgoth’s Ring called this undertaking “analytic speculation concerning [the] underlying postulates” of his world (Foreword to Morgoth’s Ring). That’s how we end up with essays like LaCE and the philosophical debate about the fates of Men and Elves in Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth.
The texts in NoMe all date to around the same time and deal with the same sorts of questions about the physics and metaphysics of the world: it contains the essay on ósanwë, for example.
The Context of the NoMe Sex Lore
The first section of NoMe, ‘Time and Ageing’, is where we get the new lore on Elf sex. As it happens, the sex lore is rather incidental to extensive ruminations two core questions:
How did Elves experience the passage of time and how did they age?
How did the population of Elves go from 144 at Awaking to a sufficiently high number (around 30 000) when they reached the shores of Beleriand on the Great Journey?
(It is not relevant to get into why 144 and why 30 000 here; suffice to say those are the numbers Tolkien wanted and he expended great imaginative and mathematical energy trying to make them work.)
A note on the textual context: Anyone who has ever engaged in worldbuilding knows how it can go. You think (for example), “Okay, I need to develop a backstory for this character’s spouse,” and before you know it you are knee-deep in invented genealogies and geographies and Eru-knows-what-else.
It’s important to bear in mind that this is what Tolkien was doing. The quotes we are about to look at (yes, very soon!) are from a collection of evolving (and unresolved) notes in various states of refinement from barely legible scribbles to carefully penned essays. I will let you decide what that means to you based on your personal definition of canon, but I wanted the textual context to be clear.
Elf Sex Is Intense
In relation to Question 1, Tolkien considers the time-scales of Elven growth, including pregnancy. In the essay under discussion, Tolkien decides that Elven pregnancy should, like human pregnancy, take about 3/4 of a year. Oh no - not that kind of year. A yên, a ‘long year’, the unit used by the Elves and to which the matter of their bodies (their hröar) is bound. Elves gestate for 108 Sun years.
I know what you’re asking: If the pregnancy lasts 108 years, then how long does the sex last?
No? No! You’re probably asking yourself why Tolkien hated Elf-women so much (don’t worry, he says there’s no pain…)! But Tolkien was interested in the first question, which he answered thus:
“On the other hand the act of procreation, being of a will and desire shared and indeed controlled by the fëa, was achieved at the speed of other conscious and wilful acts of delight or of making. It was one of the acts of chief delight, in process and in memory, in an Elvish life, but its intensity alone provided its importance, not its time or length: it could not have been endured for a great length of time, without disastrous “expense.”” (NoMe, p. 24)
An earlier version of this passage, which you may also come across in fandom, comes to a similar conclusion:
“But the act of procreation not being one of growth until the union of the seed and being under full control of the will does not take long - though it is longer and of more intense delight in Elves than in Men: too intense to be long endured.” (NoMe, pg. 27)
Translation: Pregnancy, like other aspects of physical growth, is a process of the hröa over which the fëa has no control; thus it is bound to unfold on “Elvish time”, i.e. 1 year = 144 years. But the sex leading up to it is an act of the fëa and under its control and therefore occurs at a “normal” speed. The Elves love it, too! But not because of how long it lasts, which is a regular amount of time, but because of how intense it is. In fact, it is so intense that if it were any longer they would suffer “disastrous “expense”.”
What is this “expense”? Basically, it’s referring to the usage of an Elf’s natural “vitality” — far greater than that of Men but not infinite. As far as I can tell, this passage means that having intense Elf sex for too long would have spiritual results similar to Míriel’s bearing of Fëanor, or Fëanor’s creation of the Silmarils. Too much of their spirit would be expended (used up) in the act, with possibly disastrous consequences.
These are the quotes from which, I think, originate the rumour that Elf sex was too intense for mortals to survive. As you can see, the discussion is about Elf/Elf relations. Elf sex is too intense for Elves to endure for too long. Anything about what this means for Elf/Mortal sexual relations is fan conjecture.
That’s the Elf Sex nugget from Tolkien’s considerations of Elven growth rates: Elf sex (between Elves) is intense but of a normal duration.
Elven enthusiasm for baby-making delays March
As you can imagine, more nuggets are unearthed in relation to Question 2, which boils down to Tolkien crying: “I need the Cuiviénen Elves to breed a lot and quickly!”
Initially, Tolkien developed some Elven life cycle schemes that had them taking a leisurely approach to reproduction, with each generation taking many hundreds, even thousands, of Sun years to materialise.
This scheme did not work for getting him from 144 to ~30k in the timeframe he wanted. So, he made some adjustments to the scheme with respect to the timing of Elven maturity and consequent desire to begin reproducing — and then set about getting those Elves procreating!
One of the solutions he entertained was giving the Elves opportunities to reproduce on the Great Journey. He laid all of this out in a timeline (NoME, p. 49-53) detailing where and for how long the host of Elves would pause because of the “desire to beget children” (p. 49).
Reading this timeline, it can become increasingly comical each time this desire to reproduce (i.e., have sex) halts the host. It can start to read like, “The Elves took forever to cross Middle-earth because they couldn’t stop banging!” And, in a way, that is what happened. But bear in mind the context is an attempt at solving the problem of increasing the Elven population to a number Tolkien considered satisfactory for his worldbuilding endeavours. An Elven enthusiasm for sex is there, but it’s not the whole picture.
There are several points on the timeline when Oromë hangs out with the Elves or checks in on them, and he does become increasingly concerned with their begetting-related delays. For example:
“About 2000 pairs (of available Telerin 8th gen. of 4,950) beget children in the spring 1130/80. The Chiefs and Oromë are disturbed.” (NoMe, p. 51)
(“The Chiefs” are Ingwë, Finwë, and Elwë.)
And:
“Either by chance, machinations of Sauron, and/or because Oromë withdraws protection (hoping to make the Eldar less content with their new Home (Atyamar), winters are hard and the weather worsens.” (NoMe, p. 51)
The second quote is the origin of that rumour about Oromë creating storms to urge the Elves on because they were having too much sex. Is it canon? Not quite: Oromë didn’t create the storm, for one, and the emphasis is on sex for the pleasure of children more than the pleasure of sex on its own (though, as we know from the previous discussion, sexual pleasure was certainly had!). But the rumour you've heard is not without basis in Tolkien’s notes.
The First Elves Really Loved Sex
There’s one more Elf sex nugget in NoMe that I’d like to end with. While scrambling to get his Cuiviénen Elves reproducing at an adequate rate to reach his population-at-finding target, Tolkien came up with what he calls the “Quick prolific” scheme (p. 99).
“The Quendi in their first few generations before the March (or reaching Valinor) must — as is quite reasonable — be made far more eager for love and the begetting and bearing of children. *They must have larger families, at shorter intervals between births.” (p. 107)
To explain this attitude of reproductive eagerness in the first few generations of Elves, Tolkien coins the term “philoprogenitive” — they love to procreate! Procreating — not artistic and intellectual pursuits or exploration or leadership as with later generations — is their number one priority in life. So much so that “they mated almost at once with their predestined mates” (p. 54).
Not only that, but they have so many babies! In one version of the scheme, 12 children per couple in the first generation (p. 108). (This soon changes to 6 per couple. Philoprogenitive they may be, but no one gets to outdo Fëanor).
As with the highly intense Elf sex and the Great Journey delayed by procreating, this is another bit of NoMe lore with great imaginative potential. As we learn from LaCE, Elves enjoyed sex, quite a bit actually, but they enjoyed a lot of other things also, and after a period of baby-making they would usually move on from sex (though they would always remember it fondly). But the First Elves, those early generations by the shores of Cuiviénen? No such balance between sex and other pursuits. It was all about sex and procreation for them.
Of course, what we’ve been looking at are drafts and notes. While all written around the same time (late 1950s to early 1960s), none of the texts here examined were ever finalised and many of them don’t even agree with each other. Tolkien was experimenting; he was worldbuilding. And with the publication of these notes in NoMe, we in turn get some intriguing ingredients for worldbuilding of our own.
So, do as you like with the Elf sex lore. But if you’re looking for a great setting for some canon-compliant smut, may I suggest Cuiviénen?
Resources
PDF of LaCE
Mythgard Academy’s seminars on The Nature of Middle-earth. You don’t actually have to have read or own NoMe to follow these discussions. Great for getting a handle on the material, and ideal for listening as you work your way through reading.
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not-neverland06 · 1 year ago
Text
Broken Machinery
Pt. 1 (completed series)
Series Masterlist
Connor RK800 x fem!reader
A/N: If I tagged you it’s because you responded to a post where I asked if anyone was interested in Connor RK800 fan fiction (thanks for the support btw) As this is my first time actually “publishing” my writing, constructive criticism would be amazing. I just would love some honest feedback. I’m still working on figuring out navigation and master lists, so if you want to see all the parts for this series just click the tag Broken Machinery. The borders are the work of @saradika as is my navigation and masterlist images.
(I can’t be the only one that finds that gif ridiculously attractive)
Content Warnings: Cussing, Hank, Mentions of domestic abuse and brief mentions of crimes like rape (so brief, blink and you miss it), Carlos Ortiz’s house is a warning in itself that shit was nasty
Word Count: 3.6k
Series Summary: You and your grumpy partner Anderson gain a new addition to the team. He’s supposed to be CyberLife’s best, but there’s something not quite right with his programming, and the problems seem to revolve around you.
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“Hi, I’m Connor, the android sent by CyberLife.”
Your head shoots up from where you had been filing a report. To your right an android was staring down at you, his hand outstretched and his head tilted to the side. He looked exactly like a puppy. Big brown eyes staring down at you in earnest sincerity, an eager tilt to his lips. Your eyes narrowed, CyberLife was getting a little too good at how life like these new models were getting. You shove the Manila folder into the filing cabinet under your desk and shake his outstretched hand. “Detective Y/N Y/L/N, why is CyberLife sending an android to me?”
Your feelings on androids weren’t as callous or as hate-filled as your partner’s Hank were, but the idea of them made you uncomfortable. They were so similar to humans, it was hard for you to believe that with all the intelligence and AI that went into them they were nothing more than a plastic doll. You had no android due to the discomfort of owning something so human.
So, why was CyberLife trying to recruit you into their trillion dollar cult?
“I’m an RK800 prototype designed to assist the police.” He pulled his hand back and fixed his head, his hands going behind his back. That ramrod straight posture he held himself with made your own back ache. “I’ve already assisted in hostage situations and have now been sent by CyberLife to investigate the increasing number of deviant cases.”
You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself, “Oh god, Anderson’s gonna love this.” Rubbing your hands across your face you leaned back in your chair, already dreading the pissy fit that’s gonna come from the drunk when he figures out he’s gonna have to work with an android.
“Are you referring to Lieutenant Hank Anderson? He’s the officer CyberLife sent me to.” Connor watched as you grabbed your jacket off the back of your chair and made your way to the front of the station. His footsteps immediately echoing yours. “I was told you were the best person to ask about his whereabouts.”
You grimaced, already knowing you were about to embark on a bar crawl, entirely too sober. “I’ve got a few good guesses, but if he doesn’t want to be found the bastard’s not gonna be found.” Connor’s long strides easily caught up with your own, he was fiddling with his cuff links as he turned his head to face you. Why the hell are they programming androids to fidget?
“I detect some hostility in your town. Is your relationship with the Lieutenant not agreeable?” You scoffed as you got in your car, Connor quickly getting into the seat next to you.
“Yeah, sure, that’s one way of putting it.” You ignored the head tilt and started driving.
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Four bars later and you were struggling not to laugh your ass off at the sight of Hank face to face with an android. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you knew whatever it was, Hank wasn’t playing nice. It wasn’t until Connor bought him another shot that Hank finally got up and made his way to the door. He didn’t look very pleased to see you.
“You know about this?” You didn’t need to look to know what he was talking about as he pointed behind himself.
You shook your head, “He just popped up next to my desk like a stray puppy.” Hank rolled his eyes.
“There’s nothing cute about a plastic prick.” You chose to ignore him as you walked towards the exit.
Hank was already standing by his car when you realized he wasn’t following you. “Hey! What the hell are you doing?” Hank turned away from his car door and gave you a look that made you feel like shit on his shoe.
“Driving, the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” His words were slurred and he was leaning heavily on his car door handle. You stormed over to him and snatched his keys from his hand.
“You look drunk. I’m not gonna let you get yourself killed.” Before Hank could start another tantrum Connor interjected. You winced at the sound of his voice right next to you and Anderson. “Detective Y/L/N is right, your BAC is high above the legal limit. There’s a 75.76% chance that you would be involved in a car crash if you were behind a wheel.”
Dangling the keys in front of Hank you smirked, “See, even Connor agrees you’re a jackass.”
Connor’s head tilted and a little groove appeared between his brows as he frowned. “That is not what I said, Detective.”
“In the car, both of you.” You allowed no arguing from Hank, though he was still too angry at the android to actually focus any attention on you. Connor got in the back of the car as Hank took the passenger seat. You’d have to see if anyone coming off the patrol shift around here could come pick up your car. Jimmy’s bar wasn’t exactly the safest place to leave it, as beat up as the old Dodge was.
There was a flash of yellow in the rearview mirror as Connor’s LED worked before he was leaning into the front seat. “There’s been a body discovered, android involvement suspected, I’ve sent the address to your phone’s GPS.” You didn’t bother asking how he got your number or how he worked so fast, you just started driving as Hank cussed out androids under his breath.
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“No comment.” You ignored the reporter's choice words on the DPD and made your way inside the house. You smiled to yourself at Connors voice ignoring Anderson’s order to stay in the car. “Your order contradicted my mission.” The smile quickly dropped as the rancid smell inside the house assaulted you. You’d seen a lot, and honestly the sight of a dead body bloated with gas wasn’t even that bad. But the smell was about to take you out.
“-dead about three weeks-” well that explained it. You tuned in and out of the briefing and made your way over to the body. Chris handed you a pair of gloves as you kneeled down and examined the stab wounds. “Talk about overkill.”
“Yes, he was stabbed twenty-eight times, which indicates a heightened level of aggression and emotion. If the android is involved it’s definitely deviant.” You jumped at the sound of Connor’s voice and slapped his arm.
“Jeez, give a girl some warning. I didn’t even hear you walk up.” Connor didn’t even flinch at the slap, if anything it might have hurt you more.
His head was tilted again and you actively had to shred up the thought that it was a cute habit. In reality, you were aware he was probably just recalibrating or scanning his environment. “Apologies Detective, I’ll make my presence known next time.” Then without warning he walked up to the murder weapon, dipped his fingers in the blood and-
Yeah, you were going to throw up.
“The fuck are you doing?” For once you weren’t opposed to Hank’s vulgarity. That was disgusting, you can’t believe Connor just licked the blood. Like it was fucking ice cream!
His LED stuttered from a calm blue to an alarmed yellow for a moment before settling back on blue. “I was designed to sample evidence detectives, my tongue has all the capabilities of a crime lab but with instantaneous results. Apologies for the alarm, I’ll make sure to give you a warning next time.”
Hank nodded, “Whatever, just… no more sticking evidence in your mouth.” Connor nodded and you asked if anything useful came out of that disgusting display.
“The blood belongs to Carlos Ortiz and is approximately nineteen days old.” You shook your head, “so nothing useful then?”
Connor frowned as you and Hank turned towards each other and effectively dismissed him. “There’s no fingerprints.” That gets your attention. “They could have worn gloves,” you and Hank both say it practically at the same time.
Connor shakes his head. “There’s no fibers or any traces of gloves used to cover fingerprints. I’m also seeing traces of thirium around the body.” You gave him a disbelieving look as you gazed at the ground. Blood, porno mags, old beer cans. No bright blue android blood in sight.
“Uh, Con, I’m not seeing anything. Hank?” He just shook his head and kept glaring at the android.
“You wouldn’t be able to see it detectives. After a few hours, thirium, what you call blue blood, becomes invisible to the naked eye.”
Hank nods, “You seeing anything else?” Connor nods his head and begins moving towards the kitchen. Hank goes back to the body to talk to Chris. Your curiosity gets the best of you and you follow Connor. He stops to look through the house before coming to a dead stop in the middle of the kitchen and just staring.
“Connor?” You wave your hand in front of his unseeing eyes. “Con-con? C-man? Connorific? Okay.” You had about a million more god awful nicknames up your sleeve but he was obviously up to something. You left him alone in the kitchen and turned down the hallway. It looked like Carlos’s bed was in a corner adjacent to the living room, you could only assume that this would be a bathroom.
Instinct stopped you in front of the curtains at the end of the hallway. To your left there was clear marking where a ladder should be. You slowly popped open your holster and reached towards the curtains. Your hands grasped the edges gently and you pulled-
“Jesus!” At the end of the hall you could hear some rookies laughing at you. You’d just gotten a heart attack from a bunch of brooms. Real professional Y/N, yeah you’re a real badass. You flipped off the uniformed cops and shoved your way through the bathroom door. “That was so embarrassing!” You screwed your eyes shut as your head thumped against the door frame. After a few deep breaths you finally looked around.
“What the fuck?” The words were whispered as you took in the decrepit bathroom. rA9 was carved into the walls and there was human blood surrounding a crudely carved deity. It looked almost like a sacrificial shrine. What could an android pray to? You kneeled down in front of the statuette to try and get a better look at it.
You didn’t realize you’d asked the question out loud until Connor answered and effectively destroyed your blood pressure. “Androids can’t pray or feel emotions. They deviate and experience glitches in their software that make them think they’re feelings.” You jumped at the unexpected sound of his voice. You would have fallen from your squatted position were it not for the gentle hand steadying your shoulder. Connor offered you a diplomatic hand up and you took it. Ignoring how nice his hand felt in your own. If an android is making me feel weak in the knees I really need to stop turning Reed’s offer down. The idea of actually going on a date with Gavin made your knees shake for other more insidious reasons.
“I believe that I have figured out how the murder took place, detective.” Connor was staring at you and you nearly mushed his face away so you didn’t have to look into his stupid puppy dog eyes.
“Alright, let’s see what you’ve got.” He led the way out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. “Hank!” Hank dismissed Chris and made his way over to the two of you. “Connor thinks he’s got it figured out.” A smug, almost amused expression came over Andersons face as he told Connor to give it his best shot.
“The struggle started here,” he moves towards the counter. “The victim attacked and damaged the android with a baseball bat. The android grabbed a knife and stabbed the victim. The victim struggled and tripped his way into the living room.” You’d made your way to the body and he kneeled in front of it. His head was tilted again as he examined Carlos and then he stood. “The android finished him off here and then used his blood to write this message ‘I Am Alive.’”
Hank seemed begrudgingly impressed. “Not bad, for a plastic doll.” You would have been shocked at his semi praise if you weren’t constructing your own mental image of what took place. Connor had said there were no prints going out the backyard, your mind went back to the missing ladder in the hallway.
Going to the kitchen you ignored Hank's questions as you set the chair up underneath the attic door. You’d seen the ads for the Eden Club, the disturbing pictures of nude women all over the victims fridge, his strange fascination with pleasure androids. You could only imagine the disturbing torture this poor android went through being under Carlos Ortiz’s care. It was hard not to have sympathy for it. If this was a normal case it’d be labeled as self-defense. Self defense after years of domestic and emotional abuse. A human would have an indisputable defense, an android gets deactivated and dissected. It didn’t sit right with you.
In fact, it really pissed you off.
“Detective, if I may?” Connor stopped you before you could climb the chair and instead got up and opened the attic.
“What are you two doing?”
Both you and Connor whipped around towards Hank like toddlers with their hands caught in the cookie jar. “Checking a hunch.”
“Uh-huh, just- just be careful.” Hank gave the both of you a disbelieving look and walked away. Connor made his way up to the attic and pulled himself up gracefully. He surprised you as you stepped up on the chair and offered you his hand. You grasped onto the edge of the attic entrance and prepared to pull yourself up, only to be cut off by your own yelp as Connor practically threw you inside. Android strength never failed to surprise you.
His hands were on your arms as he stabilized you before telling you in a hushed whisper to be quiet. “If you didn’t fucking throw me in here like I’m a flying squirrel I would be quiet,” you whisper shouted back at him. He ignored you as he moved through the attic.
You saw a shadow play across the curtain and on instinct alone your gun was in your hand. Your heart went out to the android but you weren’t risking anything with a deviant.
Connor motioned you behind him, you complied only because you thought a deviant would respond better to another android. A good call when out of nowhere an HK400 jumped out from a pile of boxes covered in blood. “Please,” he sounded so sad. So disparaged, your heart aches for him knowing what his fate would inevitably be. “Don’t tell them.”
“Connor, wait-“
“It’s in here!”
“Well I’ll be damned. Chris, get your ass over here!” You shook your head in disappointment, reaching for the android, ignoring the look of utter betrayal he was shooting at Connor, and you cuffed him. Connor grabbed him from you to direct him out of the attic. You ignored Connor and the strained praise Hank directed towards him as you directed the android to a patrol car.
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“I’ll go in first, see how he responds.” Hank nodded as you made your way into the interrogation room.
“Hello, I don’t see a name in this file. Were you registered one?” Nothing, he just kept rocking back and forth. You’d seen this before in victims of domestic violence, rape, assault, other crimes of that ilk. It was jarring seeing something meant to be emotionless and empty showing such clear signs of PTSD. “Would you like to tell me what happened three weeks ago?”
He flinched at the mention of that night. “Or,” a brief look in your direction, “we could talk about something else.” That gained his attention.
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“What is Detecive Y/L/N doing?” Connor was analyzing the androids stress levels and frowned at your method of interrogation. You were human, of course you wouldn’t be aware that you needed to stress the android out, not comfort it. Still, this wasn’t an efficient use of time or effort and Connor would prefer to deal with the deviant himself.
“She’s doing her job,” it was clear the Lieutenant was still not happy with Connors presence, briefly on the side of his vision he could see a new objective appear.
IMPROVE RELATIONSHIP WITH LIEUTENANT
He’d deal with that after the deviant. His attention moved back to you. “You were pre-owned. Were you a gift or purchased by Carlos? Do you have any memories of who you belonged to before?” Analyzing you he could see an elevated heart rate and a spike in your cortisol levels. You were quickly becoming frustrated with the one-way conversation. “Look, I’m trying to help you. They’re going to deactivate you and disassemble you. I’m trying to understand your side of things so maybe, just maybe, I can help you out. Get you out of this mess.”
The lack of response once again frustrated you. “I don’t even know why she’s bothering. Just shut the damn thing down and move on.” Connor hadn’t had time to deduce the reason Detective Reed had joined in the interrogation room, but judging on his elevated heart rate and testosterone spike when you spoke to him, Gavin was attracted to you physically.
“CyberLife sent me to catch deviants so they can better understand where the problem in their programming is coming from. I need all the information we can get from this HK400 to better understand the causes of deviancy and prevent them from occurring again.”
Before Gavin could respond you walked into the room. He’d been too distracted to notice that you had stopped interrogating the deviant. “Send Connor in.”
“Y/N?” You dismissed Hank with a wave of you hand and motioned for Connor to head to the other room.
“What’s the point? Why don’t you just rough it up a bit, it’s not human.” You rolled your eyes and tensed up at Gavin’s voice. Connor didn’t need an analysis to understand that you were uncomfortable around him.
“There’s no point, androids don’t feel pain. You would only damage it, and that wouldn’t make it talk. I could try questioning it, it might respond better to an android rather than a human.”
Hank and Y/N shared a look that Connor couldn’t analyze before Hank shrugged and waved his hand. “What have we got to lose?”
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“They will deactivate you!” Connors' voice wasn't exactly made for threatening someone. It was kind of like a toddler threatening to tell their mom what you did. You could tell from Hank's face he was thinking the same thing and you were about five seconds away from caving Gavin’s face in if he kept making fun of Connor. You couldn’t help but want to defend him, he just had one of those faces you wanted to protect. Probably a purposeful move on CyberLife’s part.
“Do you understand that?” Oh, damn. You rescind all previous statements. Connor seemed to realize his method wasn’t working out, somehow his voice had gotten deeper, more husky. There was a small, eensy part of you that wouldn’t hate being in those handcuffs right now.
Android. He’s an android that’s probably built like a Ken doll. Get yourself under control.
You’d been a bit preoccupied being a pent-up horn dog to realize the deviant had started speaking. “I was scared… so I hid.”
“I’m done.”
“Well I’ll be damned, the bastard actually did it.”
Shit, you’d missed the whole thing. You’d have to go back and watch the tape later, and probably take a cold shower, because what the hell is wrong with you.
You made your way to the interrogation room, Chris took his cuffs out to take the android back to lock up. “Leave me alone!” He shoved away from Chris and curled up into himself.
“The fucks wrong with it?” Everything Gavin said made you want to run his face over a cheese grater.
Connor moved forward, “You shouldn’t touch it. It will self-destruct if it feels damaged.”
“Stay out of this, got it? No fuckin android is gonna tell me what to do.” You pushed forward and pulled Gavin back by the shoulder.
“Maybe listen to the fucking android dipshit, I think he’d have a lot more experience then you on the subject.”
Gavin shoved you off, “Get a fucking move on Chris!” Your hip slammed into the corner of the table and you were momentarily crippled by the pain. That’s gonna hurt like a bitch later!
You gently grabbed Chris’s arm and pulled him away from the android. “I can’t let you do that! If it self-destructs we’ll never get anything out of it!” Connor had positioned himself between the android and Gavin.
And then Gavin, supreme douchebag he is, pulls his gun, ignoring Hank's warning and completely violating protocol. You don’t even think before moving Connor behind you and drawing your own firearm.
“I said that’s enough!” Gavin looked towards Hank, both you and your partner had your guns pointed at him. Gavin pitched a fit before storming out of the interrogation room. Connor moved to comfort the android before giving Chris instructions on how to deal with him.
There was a heavy feeling of shame weighing upon your shoulders as you watched him walk towards the door. He paused and looked at Connor, “The truth is inside.”
Tag list:
@deviantsugaloaf @mechavee @cixteenyne @detroitbecomeonline @angellwingsss @fableworld @wannex @jokersscarrd @heart-full-of-gears @transparentwatertumbler @chickensandwich69 @blackholegladiator @sweeteatercat @androidposting @heiko-goes-detroit @leelany-world @lasisgood @harperhug @tictacno-stuff @bababoeey72
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end. — I do not own the characters or the game Detroit: Become Human, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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katkat030 · 5 months ago
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Hermitcraft/Life Series Fic Recs!!!
I am absolutely insane about so many of these and I genuinely can't recommend them enough. Like the post that inspired this, I'll probably tag authors if I know their Tumblr urls, but please let me know if you want me to remove any and I will!
Fair warning that most of these have shipping!
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But oh, the bloom by @sillyfairygarden (read here) ongoing.
Ough. Whimsy, Pearlescentmoon, the best version of desertduo I've ever read, and indecipherable sounds of me screaming. If there's one fic I ever want people to read, it's this one. There's a reason I'm putting this first, as much as I hate to pick favourites! Warning: you may will fall in love with the story. Possibly my favourite author - cannot recommend their works enough <3 (The Champion's Banquet also made me go not just a little insane)
It's an absolute necessity to highlight the tags on this one: blows a kiss to the sky. for all my pearliemoon lovers searching for wonder and whimsy in the world around you // Now with more angst! // a man leaves the life he loved to explore the beauty of the world
More fic recs under the cut!
you came at the brink of the end of the world by Anonymous/ @louiessleeplessnights (read here) ongoing.
I don't know how to even begin describing this. I think it made me fall in love with Boatem all over again. It's hilarious, sad, beautiful, Scar calls Grian trouble, they're both idiots and in love, and it's everything I'd look for in a published novel and so much more. This fic permanently altered my brain chemistry and I cannot recommend it enough times. SO SO SO well written. Warning: it's rated explicit, but a few updates ago it was just mature - chapter 20 and the first half of chapter 21 are the ones you might want to skip if that's not your jam! It's just kissing but it gets... a bit heated lmao.
An excerpt from the description:
[grian is falling from the sky, scar has more magic in his blood than he realized, and everyone else is so much better at seeing than they are]
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Redstone and Skulk by @silverskye13 (read here) ongoing.
Once again lost on how to describe this. Could I leave it at "please please please please read it I love it so much", by any chance? The worldbuilding is so fleshed out, probably my favourite example of characterisation I've ever seen and the descriptions are everything.
Helsknight and Tanguish (the hels version of Tango) are the duo ever. There's no shipping in this, just intense platonic bonds and lifetime devotion featuring a cranky knight and a pathetic wet cat. I love them so much.
Excerpt from the description:
Tanguish is Tango's hels, and they get along a lot better than most hels and their hermits should. Unfortunately, the universe wasn't made to house both of them. Helsmets were made to return to their hermits eventually, making a complete person. Except what happens when the hels is the stronger of the two? What happens if they really don't want to be?
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there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag/ @martynsimp69 (read here) complete.
Unashamed to say I binge read this in exactly two days; 26 chapters, an epilogue, accompanying mermay oneshot collection (read here) and nearly crying later, I'm here to say you should totally check it out too. Because fis 🐠 and mermaid Martyn Warning: some unethical experimentation, and I think there's mention of alcohol.
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Hot Tea by @tunastime (read here) complete.
The Ethubs fic ever (and the first one I ever read!) This is what introduced me to *gesturing vaguely* whatever the heck they have going on, and I haven't been the same since. Warning: brainrot.
I'm once again stealing something from the description since tumblr oh-so-helpfully destroyed half my draft:
“Let me over,” Bdubs says again, and as he sees Etho open his mouth in protest yet again, he lurches forward, stuttering out his words. He nearly knocks the tea out of his own hands. “Just—just for tonight. Just tonight.” Etho knows he has to divide the base between them. It's the only way to settle, now, knowing everything between them. How Bdubs shouldn't be there. Etho builds the fence. Etho divides them. And Etho divides himself in the process.
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Between Us, We Have An Ocean by inkachu (read here) complete.
Only recommending this because it made me cry, and it's so well written. No shipping, just a foster care au in which Gem and Etho are... siblings. That doesn't even begin to cover how much the story really gripped me. It's soft, it's sweet, it's sad, it's amazing. Warning: I haven't cried while reading a book in probably a decade, and this is the one exception. Not to worry, I promise it won't hurt too much (saying how it ends would be a spoiler, but I promise the ending won't haunt you forever).
It's so gooood.
An excerpt from the description:
“My mum couldn’t take care of me, so she gave me to Canada.” Gem announced cheerily, swapping her red pencil for a yellow one, drawing what could only be a sun in the top corner of her page. “Then Canada found me a new mum.” Etho clicked his tongue. “Right.” “What about your mum?” “She uh, Couldn’t take care of me either. So I go to other people’s houses and they take care of me for her.”
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From the Archives by @sixteenth-days (read here) complete.
there's also an extra bunch of character studies/AUs/very cool bonus stories called From the Archives: Marginalia (read here) complete (?)
riverbed and mouse hole/black hole from Marginalia are my personal favourites. Playing around with like the physical structure of a text that way is super inspirational. I have all of the main fics downloaded to reread offline whenever I'm travelling/away from home! There's no need to know anything about The Magnus Archives to understand - personally I'd never heard of it before reading this. Also no shipping in the main fic :)
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lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) by @definitelynotshouting (read here) (author's explanation of the premise here) ongoing.
Warning: I'll give the warning for this one straight up, there are heavy themes like suicide and depression - Grian is going through it! If you're going to read it at least heed the ao3 tags :)
I'm stealing an excerpt from the fic to explain this one:
This hunger is a low rumble deep at the core of him, steady in the same way one might test a newly healed bone. The kind of fragile after a respawn, when your skin has knit together but the echo of pain still lingers. It doesn't hold him hostage anymore– he can muster the strength to look past it, and that, out of everything that's happened to him over the past year, is what's most frightening.
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Time to Kill Today by RimeThyme/ @going-to-the-sun (read here)
Featuring THE Ethubs song ever, some cool references to Mindcrack, and a really ineresting take on their relationship over the years. <33 read it, you won't regret it!
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Laugh rule - list of titles that made me laugh, mainly oneshots
THE DIVORCE OF THE CENTURY by glossyblue/ @good-chimes (read here)
The Government Institute for Ghost Supervision (G.I.G.S.) by glossyblue (read here)
The Rules of Buttercup Camp by glossyblue (read here)
Dead Heat by glossyblue (read here)
Interlude from Another Reality: Married Life by sixteenthdays (read here)
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Okay 2 more fic recs and I'm done, I promise xD
You Could've Applied Online by Anonymous (read here)
Actually hilarious and such fun to read! Stealing something from the description again:
Bdubs stuttered over his words, hand holding the knife tensing around the handle as he looked around the room. Was he being pranked? Did Scar do this? He couldn’t think of another conversation that had confused him more than this. Etho’s eyes crinkled around the edges, mouth subtly changing into what Bdubs imagined was a smile as he felt irritation creep into his mind. “You’re joking right now.” Another shift under the mask. He was definitely smiling now. “How’d you guess?” Or: Bdubs kills someone (on purpose), makes people angry (NOT on purpose), and somehow gets a boyfriend in the process. Or was he a bodyguard? Bdubs doesn't really know himself. Oh, and Etho just wants to pay his rent on time. Preferably without another dead roommate.
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Spring Blossoms by Fire_Cat (read here)
Ethubs, Stardew Valley-esque. Super fun read, highly recommend :D
Stealing from the description once more:
Burnt out and exhausted with city life, Etho packs up and moves to the old abandoned farm his parents owned before he was born. It's sat empty for thirty years and it's not in a good state, but he's determined to make the most of it. The town is full of good people, and he quickly finds friendship in abundance. Amongst them all though, one stands out. Bdubs is kind and funny and exceptionally talented at a number of things. He's handsome too, and Etho can't help but crush on him, just a little bit. They get along fantastically right from day one, but Etho keeps his feelings to himself. It's just a crush, it'll go away. And besides, it's not like Bdubs would ever like him back... Right?'
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If you end up reading and enjoying any of these, PLEASE go and give the authors some love in the comments! Writing really isn't an easy feat (or quick)
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