#but I want to write a film thesis about it despite knowing nothing about film

[raskies456]

still thinking about this fuckign film unfortunately. not even gonna call it a movie bc it’s more like a bunch of scenes in a trench coat cinched together with random quotes from philosophers as an excuse for dialogue and the plot and message is so deeply obfuscated as to be nonexistent, which is probably good bc at the core it’s just your ‘Misunderstood Genius with a Vision that No One Understands’ plus social commentary that is completely neutered by attempting to make it general and completely apolitical. I hate how interesting it is to think about on a meta level bc it is fundamentally a nothing burger not worth bothering with under a veneer of great art direction and experimental cinematography and incredible costume design.

Maybe potentially watchable if you can chemically alter your brain to find its own meaningful patterns in noise (aka take acid or something) or maybe watch it in a language you don’t know so you can pretend the dialogue and plot are actually good and relevant to the film bc you’ll get about the same amount of context

but really all of this is context for why I’m angry my echolalia has been this for the past few days:

watched megalopolis drunk with my friends and have been trying to make sense of what went wrong ever since

[viesantewrites]

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 | 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

William Killick (The Edge of Love) x Reader

Previous Part

summary: The reader finds a mysterious diary in a library that belonged to William Killick in the 1930s. When she writes something in it, her notes appear in the past (1937) which allows the two to communicate with each other and they eventually fall in love.

note: I was watching "The Lake House" from 2006 with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves and felt inspired by it. (& Also by Tom Riddle's diary in chamber of the secrets) I know that whole concept isn’t brand new but I enjoyed writing it. So welcome to my new cillian fanfic, hope you like it. I‘m not a native English speaker but I try my best.

William's part is set in 1937 and he lives in London. But he has a different job from the one in the film "The Edge of Love"

Masterlist

………………………………………………………………………….

YN slept poorly through the night as a fierce storm raged outside. Thunder rumbled and flashes of lightning repeatedly illuminated the dark room. YN tossed and turned, every sudden jolt making her flinch. The raindrops on the windows and the howling wind added to her discomfort, making sleep almost impossible.

Eventually, despite the storm, she drifted off and woke up in the morning incredibly exhausted. The sky was clear now, and the sun shone through the open curtains. Tired, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. She was glad it was Sunday and she had the day to herself. She remembered that she had to call Veronica urgently or she would be very angry with her. YN felt guilty that she had brushed off her best friend last evening. But then suddenly all the strange events of the previous day came back to her mind.

She slowly crawled out of bed and walked barefoot to her bedside table, reaching for the black notebook. Everything that had happened last night suddenly felt unreal, as if it had all been a dream. With trembling fingers she leafed through the book. It showed Killick's photo, his notes and diary entries, but when she reached the last page she stopped. Her own note was gone, and also Killick's reply and the brief conversation they had yesterday. Relieved, YN closed the book and sank into the chair beside her. It really had been a strange dream. Frankly, she was glad that incredibly weird and scary things she couldn't explain didn't actually happen. A diary that communicated with her? A young man from the 30s whose soul was trapped in a book? No, that couldn’t be real.

But she was still happy about the notebook because the diary entries were incredibly interesting and gave an insight into what life in London must have been like almost 90 years ago, even without magical powers. It would be perfect for her thesis.

YN yawned and grabbed her phone. She was going to ask Veronica if she wanted to meet her at her favourite café so they could plan the party together and enjoy their day. After all, she didn't have to worry about her thesis anymore. At least not today.

***

Confused, William looked at the blank pages in front of him. This couldn't be true. Where had the stranger's mysterious messages gone? Hadn't she claimed to be from the future last night?

He rubbed his temples as he sat down to breakfast at his small kitchen table and stirred his tea. His brain seemed to be working non-stop, giving him no rest. He flipped through the pages again, but where yesterday there had been his own writing and that of the stranger, today there was nothing but blank white paper. Did the notebook erase the messages at the start of a new day? What strange magic was this?

William's stomach growled quietly. Sighing, he got up and found a single piece of dry, hard bread in the basket on the kitchen counter. That should be enough for this morning, he didn't have any more, and bread was expensive.

He sat down at the table, took a bite of the bread, opened the diary again, grabbed his pen and began to write.

***

The day flew by for YN. She didn’t even think a second about the notebook, just enjoyed the day with Veronica. The weather was pleasantly warm for September, and it felt as if summer was making one last appearance before disappearing for months. Veronica had been busy planning her birthday party, from the guest list to the seating arrangements to the drinks, as she wanted the party to be perfect. YN liked seeing her so happy and invested in something, especially as Veronica was one of those people who could hardly get excited about anything.

In a good mood, YN returned to her small flat in the evening and lay down on the couch. Now it was time to relax and watch TV, but not for too long, she had to get up early tomorrow and didn't want to be too tired and unfocused at university. Maybe her best friend was right and she really was a nerd.

As she thought about university, Killick's notebook suddenly came back to her mind. She had decided this morning not to touch it, but for some reason YN just couldn't let it go. She felt guilty. It wasn't hers, after all, and perhaps it would be better if she returned it to the library tomorrow, after making notes and copies for her thesis.

Lost in thought, she finally got up, went into the bedroom, took it from the bedside table where she had left it this morning, leafed through it and suddenly flinched. This couldn't be happening, she must be dreaming again. What on earth was happening? Trembling, she dropped the book and pinched her arm as hard as she could. The pain shot through her body and she bit her lip in desperation. She was wide awake, she wasn't dreaming, and she could clearly see William's new note in his neat handwriting on the white paper. Right where there had been nothing but an empty page this morning. He had answered her again. With a pounding heart and bated breath, she began to read.

𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒴𝒩,

ℐ'𝓂 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝓌𝑜 𝑜𝒻 𝓊𝓈, 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝑜𝓃 𝒹𝒾𝒻𝒻𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈, 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓂𝓊𝓃𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒷𝓊𝓉 ℐ 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒸𝓁𝓊𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓃𝒹𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝑒 𝒽𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓈 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒾𝓂𝒶𝑔𝒾𝓃𝑒. 𝒫𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒢𝑜𝒹'𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒽𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒸𝓇𝑜𝓈𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓇𝓎, 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝓃𝑜𝓇𝓂𝒶𝓁 𝒸𝒾𝓇𝒸𝓊𝓂𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓈𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝓎 𝒷𝑒 𝒾𝓂𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒. 𝒮𝑜 ℐ 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒹𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒹𝑒𝒹 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒾𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝒻𝓊𝓇𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝓎 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓈 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜.

ℐ 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 ℐ 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒶 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒. 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒? 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒷𝑒 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒻𝓁𝓎, 𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝓁𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 ℐ’𝓋𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝒸𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓂? 𝒫𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎, ℐ 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒶 𝒻𝓁𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 ℐ'𝓂 𝒶 𝒷𝒾𝓉 𝒶𝒻𝓇𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝑒𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝓈.

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝓂𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝑒𝓍𝓉 𝒻𝑒𝓌 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈. 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝑜𝓁𝒾𝓉𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁 𝓈𝒾𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓈𝑒? ℐ'𝓂 𝒶𝒻𝓇𝒶𝒾𝒹 ℐ 𝒶𝓁𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝓈𝓌𝑒𝓇, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 ℐ'𝓂 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝑒 ℐ 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉.

ℐ 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝑔𝑜 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓀𝓈, 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 ℐ 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔. ℐ 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓌 𝓊𝓅 𝒾𝓃 𝒶 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓋𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝒲𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 ℒ𝑜𝓃𝒹𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝑜 ��𝑜𝓇𝓀 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 ℐ 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝟷𝟽. 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒶𝓎 𝒶𝓁𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓋𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓋𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓇𝓎 𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈. ℐ 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝑜𝓂𝑒. 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝑒𝒶𝒸𝑒, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝑒𝓉, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓌𝑜𝑜𝒹𝓈. 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒹𝑜 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝒹𝑜 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒? 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀, 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝒶𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝒹𝑜 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂?

ℐ 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 ℐ 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝑒 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝒸𝑒𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝓈𝓌𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊.

𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝓉,

𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓂

Tears began to well up in YN's eyes. Even though she still couldn't believe what was happening, this message had touched her deeply. He seemed so accessible, as if he had opened his heart a little to her. To her, a complete stranger from another time.

Almost automatically, YN's hands reached for the pen, and it began to scratch across the old, slightly yellowed paper. Small tears dripped onto the paper as she wrote, lost in her thoughts, only the sounds of London reaching her ears now and then to bring her back to the present. Her heart pounding, she lowered the pen and read her message once more before closing the book and falling asleep.

𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑚,

𝑇𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝘩𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡, 𝑤𝘩𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑘𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝘩𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝘩𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑐𝘩𝑒𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑟, 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙. 𝑀𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑐𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑐, 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑙, 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠. 𝐼 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝘩𝑦 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝘩𝑦 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝟸𝟸𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑆𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟. 𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑢𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡.

𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝐼 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑒, 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜 𝑓𝑙𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑦𝑒𝑡, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒. 𝑃𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦. 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑦, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑓���𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔.

𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝐼'𝑚 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑠 𝑤𝘩𝑜'𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑔𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝘩𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑡𝘩𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑝𝑎𝑐𝑒, 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑎 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝘩𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝘩𝑜 𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑖𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑝𝘩𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝐺𝑒𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒 𝑁𝑜𝑟𝑤𝑜𝑜𝑑. 𝐴 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑔𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒. 𝑊𝘩𝑖𝑐𝘩 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑠𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑚. 𝐼 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤.

𝑀𝑦 𝘩𝑜𝑏𝑏𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠. 𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑, 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑔𝑜. 𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑛. 𝐼 𝑢𝑠𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑘𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓.

𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑠𝘩 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑎𝑓𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒.

𝑅𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝐼 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑔 𝐵𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑤, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑖𝑛 𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐿𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑛. 𝐼𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦? 𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝟾𝟶 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡, 𝑤𝑒 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔.

𝐵𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠,

𝑌𝑁

***

The library was empty and quiet as YN slowly climbed the long staircase the next day, clutching William's diary to her chest. She was unsure if what she was about to do was the right thing. Her mind kept telling her that she had stolen the diary and should give it back, but her heart wanted to keep it so that she could continue to communicate with William. He had left her another little message this morning. He thanked her for her reply, told her about his day yesterday, his work as a carpenter in London, and how he had found a stray kitten in the street and was now taking care of it.

YN loved reading his messages. He wrote so vividly, as if you were really there and experiencing the events for yourself. He also seemed like a really good person, even in such difficult times.

YN sighed one last time as she looked down at the notebook in her hand, then approached the reception desk where the elderly librarian from last week turned to her with a smile.

"Hello, madam. There you are again. Looking for another book for your thesis?"

YN took a deep breath and shook her head. She could hardly bring herself to tell the lady what she wanted. She didn't want to return the book, she wanted to keep reading William's beautiful messages. But her mind forced her to.

"Are you okay?" the librarian asked, looking worried.

Finally, YN gathered her courage and handed her the old notebook.

"I wanted to return this. I found it in the old George Nordwood book. Somehow it got into my bag and I took it home. I'm sorry, really."

The older lady looked at the book in silence and accepted it.

YN felt a wave of sadness wash over her. She had decided to return it and would never read William's notes again. "It belonged to a man named William Killick. I don't know who he is or what he has to do with George Nordwood, but I suppose we'll never find out," she said.

The librarian remained silent, opened the book, ran her finger over William's photograph on the first page, then tilted her head slightly. "He's my grandfather. He told me you were coming. Since I was a little girl. I have no idea how he knew about you but he was right."

The words sent a shiver down YN's spine. How did he know that?

……………………………………………………………………………

thank you for reading! ❤️

(yes i know it’s damien and not william but i liked the picture :D)

tag list:

@freedomring1

you liked part 1, so i hope it’s okay that I‘m adding you to my taglist:

@tenderly-hopeful-collection

@jz12luvscl16 @jz12

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Author/Writer (5) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four

A Comma After Dearest (ao3) - niennaerso

Summary: Phil writes as a hobby. Dan has a favorite writer, and it happens to be Phil, but he doesn't know, yet.

and we're out here in plain sight (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil's an optimistic author whose science fiction novel is well on its way to becoming a film. Dan's an actor whose cynism toward love is nothing short of infuriating. It takes a while, but they find something to agree on.

Broken Like You (ao3) - TearDrop1234

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a theater in a nowhere town. Their friendship is instant, but the rest not so much.

Christmas Trees With Orange Leaves (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: When Dan announces he can't spend Christmas with Phil, they celebrate a wonderful 'Christmas' in the amber months of October and November.

Dan's Phanfictions (ao3) - JulienneJc

Summary: Jule demands Dan to show her his fanfictions while Phil watches.

Diagnosed for the Worst (ao3) - Star4545

Summary: Phil can't speak and has always found home in books. Dan Howell is his favorite author who writes books that always speak for Phil.

Every Saturday Morning (ao3) - croissantbleu (orphan_account)

Summary: Dan's life was uneventful, working at a law firm, trying (and failing) to stay on top of his work despite his ADHD getting in the way, and playing the piano on Saturdays. But things changed when he found a phone number in a book, and finds someone who makes him want to follow his dreams.

friday night placebo (ao3) - kishere

Summary: Phil Lester never thought that he was going to be here in his life: successful, healthy, a little lonely, and helping produce his own Netflix show. Dan Howell, YouTube fanboy and food aficionado, just wants to get a job in television acting. One audition could help both of their problems.

I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages (ao3) - coldtea (orphan_account)

Summary: Phil is a writer who can’t seem to stop including Dan in everything he writes.

it's the love of the chase that created the ride (ao3) - dogcafe

Summary: The next time Dan sees Phil, the novelty has yet to wear off and Dan finds himself this time on the swing set. He can't adjust his body to where he's holding on right without dropping his things from his lap, and he feels like his hands are starting to turn into the rust from the chains where he's gripping so deathly hard.

NEIGHBOR (ao3) - frnklyiero

Summary: "You don't happen to be a Jack, are you?"

"I'm not sure if that's an honest inquiry or a subtle insult."

where Phil meets a guy who matches the description of an original character he made minutes before they met.

Oceans and Skies and Mountains (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: A single color has seeped it's way into Dan's dreamed, and it's changed his world for the better.

Pretty Guy (ao3) - Archive (Curlylinguist)

Summary: Phil stumbles across a Pride rally and a certain curly-haired queer activist catches his eye.

Saint and Rennis (ao3) - JulienneJc

Summary: Phil get's bored and finds out Dan is writing

Seven days of sushi (ao3) - Portia331

Summary: Phil Lester is a well-regarded sci-fi author. Well, post-apocalyptic sci-fi zombie survival horror, if you're being technical about it. After an epiphany-inducing series of life events, he decides he wants a break from robots and gore and to step into the non-fiction world. His agent and publisher are on board, but there's a catch - he has to give up his artistic integrity and make his work * scholarly * ... within the next week. Is Phil up for the challenge?

song and story (ao3) - kay_okay 

Summary: In this universe, Dan, a music composition grad student working on his thesis, and Phil, a novelist trying his best to get over his sophomore slump, book the week before Christmas in a bed and breakfast nestled against snow-covered mountains in France. They're tapped out creatively and need the week to work on their projects.

In this universe, Dan and Phil don't know each other. At least, that's how it starts.

Tumbling down the rabbit hole (ao3) - GabbyGums

Summary: Dan reads fanfiction. But he also writes fanfiction.

where we belong (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent

Summary: "Only you," Martyn says.

"Only me what?"

"Only you could end up stranded in the middle of nowhere with a gay author who writes gay books. Jesus Christ, Phil."

In which Phil is snowed in with nobody but the mysterious dark haired author next door for company.

[thebumblecee]

1. What are three shows on your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to? 18. What’s one historical event that you would have like to have witnessed? 38. What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about? 49. What’s your favourite thing to do when it’s raining? — Despite the Monday monotony I wish you a very lovely start into the week. 🌻🐝✨

Hi lovely!

1. You know what’s funny is I actually don’t really watch TV, despite all this Lone Star is an outlier. However, my mama always tells me (every time I see her) I should watch The Great. My friend is coming over for a fandom swap on Saturday (we’ll show her LS) and she’s going to get me to way by the first few episode of Ted Lasso after! So those two are all I can think of.

18. Ooh that’s interesting. We’re living through so many historical events that I don’t want to be apart of. Can I be really boring and say my master’s thesis was on the christianisation of the Celtic isles so I would like to pop back and witness a few hundreds years to prove my thesis right 😂

38. I tell my bestie everything but the rest of my friends my be shocked to learn this lil goth loves classical singers and opera.

49. If it’s just rain then in the house with candles and incense burning, either writing, reading, watching horror films, playing video games or painting.

If it’s thunder & lightning then I’m like a kid and I sit with the door open watching it.

Thank you for playing ♥️ let me know your answers too!!

[bexical]

EEAaO: Analysis of a shot (and its reprise)

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once - great movie, would highly recommend for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet - but I won’t be getting into all of that just quite yet. I just wanted to take this moment to look into one particular shot. (Notes: there will be spoilers; despite having seen this three times, I might have some chronology details a little off - apologies if that is the case; and TW suicide)

Alright, so what is the shot in question? Part II of the film, “Everywhere”, starts with Evelyn back home, figuring out her taxes. She is holding a receipt that has had a swirling black circle drawn on it, clearly reminiscent of the Everything BagelTM - unsure what to do with it and seemingly forced to make a choice, she splits, with one choice putting the receipt on the left and the other choice on the right.

The shot returns at the end of the film: Given another chance to figure out her taxes, Evelyn is faced yet again with the question of where to place the Bagel receipt. This time though, she places it in the center - neither left or right (or both?).

So, Evelyn’s doing her taxes… I probably could’ve picked a more exciting shot than that, huh.

The reprise shot reminded me strongly of two video essays I saw a while back from Just Write: one of them describing Hegelian dialectic philosophy in Korra and another describing (among other things) the wants and needs of the characters in The Last Jedi, as best seen in a graphic at this timestamp. (Not to say this channel originates these ideas, of course - Hegelian dialectic originates at the very least with Hegel of course, and the wants/needs essay at the very least is citing another blog - these are merely the most noteworthy places I was introduced to these concepts.)

Now, Hegel was pretty racist, as argued here, but even that article allows for non-racist dialectics - with that out of the way, what the heck are dialectics, what're we even talking about?

To paraphrase from JW’s video (so, you know, this is a little indirect) - Hegel argues that good ideas can come from those we disagree with, and the dialectic has three parts: the Thesis, Antithesis, and Synthesis (which will, of course, have meanings slightly different from their English meanings but which I will not be clarifying). Let’s get into those three, shall we?

So, what is the Thesis in EEAaO?

Jobu presents the Objective Truth she has learned from the Bagel: If Everything exists, then Nothing Matters.

Her Thesis (or, at least, the first part) is nihilism, and her goal prior to the events of the film has been to find the version of Evelyn who can embrace this Objective Truth - partly so she can be a little less lonely, but also in the hope that there is another answer.

Because the second part of her Thesis is that, if nothing matters, suicide is the answer. The film doesn’t quite say the word aloud, but it’s fairly explicit: she tells Evelyn how, after having come to the nihilist conclusion, she created the Bagel to see if she could actually die.

And she’s disappointed. Someone else has seen the Bagel and, after that whole journey, ended up as a rock right alongside her. There is, seemingly, no other answer.

For the moment.

At this point, the film (in the form of the lovable Waymond) presents the Antithesis: Kindness.

Waymond has not embraced the Objective Truth that Joy espouses and that Evelyn accepts: instead, he is confused, and lost. But, he argues, even (and especially) when we are confused, we must still be kind; one version of him states that this outlook is both ‘strategic and necessary’.

The film presents Kindness as viable alternative - both in the scene as an alternative to violence, and conceptually as an alternative to Jobu’s nihilistic Thesis.

And finally, after having seen the left and right options, Evelyn places the receipt in the center; having been presented the Thesis and Antithesis, Evelyn chooses the Synthesis.

What is her Synthesis? This review from the Wired describes it as “Optimistic Nihilism”: while it embraces Jobu’s Truth that Nothing Matters, it rejects the (cruel) cynicism it briefly led Evelyn to and instead opts for Waymond’s Kindness. (The difference between the Synthetic option and the Antithesis is more subtle but perhaps worth noting: It approaches Kindness from the position of “Nothing Matters�� rather than from a position of confusion.)

I honestly don’t have much more to say on the synthesis (especially not anything that hasn’t been expressed in the movie or the Wired review), but I did have one more thing to look at…

So, I brought up one other thing earlier: a graphic from another Just Write video.

Because I’m too lazy to screenshot it and incorporate an image into this post For accessibility reasons, let me describe it: the graphic presents the three main characters (Poe, Finn, Rey), each of them in between two characters representing two options (the main character’s wants and needs).

Admittedly, the analogy is imperfect: I wouldn’t classify the two options as representing Evelyn’s wants and needs respectively, and the wants/needs narrative is moreso that of the character rejecting their wants in favor of their needs, rather than a synthesis of two options.

The interesting and analogous part is the decision to represent a protagonist’s options with specific people: Finn’s want, self-serving moral ambiguity, is represented by DJ, and his need, a rise to heroism, is represented by Rose; Evelyn’s Thesis and Antithesis are represented by Joy and Waymond respectively.

Which is… an interesting choice. At the very least, this narrative tool is not a natural choice for me, as someone who writes primarily from my experiences and hasn’t had a specific person aligned with the various philosophical choices I’ve come across.

And again, as always, I don’t really have much of a conclusion - I’ve stated what I came here to state, and so, in the interest of saving effort, I’m just going to end it here, abrupt as it may be.

pce!

[nettlestonenell]

Enola Holmes in Review

Gentle Readers:

1.       I did not plan to watch Enola Holmes

2.       I do not/have not watched Stranger Things, and my entire concept of Millie Bobby Brown as a human is encapsulated in the occasional errant tumblr post, and a line of eyewear she apparently has created, posters for which hang at my glasses-provider.

3.       I had never heard of the YA novels about Enola Holmes

There she is!

Yes, I do tend to enjoy nearly any incarnation of Sherlock Holmes. And, yes, I am often surprised by this fact. For some reason, Holmes, unlike, say, Chris Evans as Cap or Chris Hemsworth as Thor [instances where I can’t really imagine enjoying anyone else in the role] I am always interested to see someone else’s [writer and actor and director]’s take on him. *Subtle shout-out to James D’Arcy’s 2002 turn in A Case of Evil.

Mr. Jarvis! [and there was Vincent D’Onofrio and opium!!]

And yet, watching the Enola Holmes trailer [no doubt b/c of tumblr], and yes, admittedly not unmoved [we are not made of stone] by Cavill’s Curls™ the delight I felt in watching that advert led me to start informing my family that on September 23rd what I was going to be doing was enjoying Enola Holmes on Netflix [and anyone else was free to join me].

Someone important is missing from this picture

And what a delight it was. In the run-up to its debut I read more than a few reviews of the film [and, I think, every one of them written by men], some of which struck me as simply coming from a place of mean-spiritedness, yet none—even the positive reviews—preparing me for how ENJOYABLE this film is.

I’m not going to provide a full review point-by-point here, b/c the film involves cases to be solved (no, none of them are overwhelmingly complex—YA novel--, so all the more reason not to spoil any pay-offs). But I do have some things to talk about.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM – And what a nice, nice elephant it is! Henry Cavill as Holmes is, in my opinion an absolute delight of a performance. From the moment he first says Enola’s name (a perfectly-rendered reaction to the moment playing out) this Holmes fits into this Greatest Showman-like version of Victorian England, where no one’s too dirty no matter how poor, and where despite a flaming red dress, cut too low for daytime wear, young Enola is never once mistaken for a working girl. [Again, YA novel] As other reviewers have noted, HC is, well, Cut and Bulked Out, and in his highly tailored frock coats well, strapping is too light a description word. *not a complaint. Cavill’s Curls are out and proud and here to tell us that we are meant to be Having Fun, and Gentle Readers—THEY DO NOT LIE.

No, not a priest’s collar where he is undercover (though I had thought so)

In fact, you could absolutely write your thesis statement on this film, that it’s really a fraternal, familial love story between Sherlock and Enola. Sherlock is the character during the two hours that actually changes. [Yes, Enola comes to an understanding about herself, and her circumstances change repeatedly—but it is Sherlock who experiences a Change of Heart/Reversal]. 

Raise your hand if you’re totally here for significantly older brother/significantly youngest sister family love!

HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE IT – This might in no way be helpful, but, Enola Holmes is basically The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles...

Where have you gone, Sean Patrick Flanery?

a YA historical storyline that’s written adjacent to [there, famous people] here, enduring fictional characters. It’s adventurous and pleasantly immersive, historical morays are given a slap-dash portrayal, rather than a fully-accurate representation, there’s adventures to be had, and side-characters to be converted into caring about the title character as much as we, the audience, do.

LUCY HONEYCHURCH – Yes, that gorgeous girl from Windy Corner. The timeline doesn’t jibe, but I daresay Helena Bonham Carter (back in a corset—though she may have worn those for Bellatrix) as Eudoria Holmes *IS* what Lucy Honeychurch might well have become beyond A Room with a View’s end. Bonham Carter looks absolutely at home here (period films have sorely missed her! –she had a part in 2015’s Suffragette), and still wears the trappings of Victorian England like a second skin. 

Not to mention that she now join my personal comfort-list of on-screen mothers with the likes of 1997’s Little Women Susan Sarandon and Cinderella’s Hayley Atwell.

FAMILY ISSUES OR PLOT HOLES? 

It’s a fair question. There’s a lot going on in this plot, some of which...seem solvable. Why has it been so very long since the Holmes brothers have seen their own mother? And sister? How could the woman we come to know as Eudoria raise a Mycroft? [see also, Molly Weasley?] Why aren’t people who seem to care about Enola more engaged with saving her from all the dangers London throws in her way? Why does Enola accept several acts of violence aimed at her, why does she in certain instances Do What She Is Told? Rather than chalk these up to plot holes or convenient devices, I’m siding with the Holmes family being dysfunctional [who knows what dad was like? We’re certainly not told here]. 

[clears throat]

The conversations between Mycroft and Sherlock barely skim the surface of any subject they interact on. Classic dysfunction: distancing one’s true self from human interaction b/c keeping the peace supersedes all else.

Enola accepts certain treatments b/c if we really do watch her relationship with her mother, there is an element of something amiss—as I will declare the later abandonment shows. Enola is a child used to being elevated and celebrated on one hand, and shut out and isolated on the other. Her parent has informed her about so much, but essentially locked her away in a false reality, where Enola is not taken to see the world, nor taught how to interact in it (which is explicitly stated). Perhaps it is not so surprising that the Holmes’ brothers have not cared overly much for visiting their remaining family. And when repeatedly confronted with a minor child (and yet a child likely though old enough or about so, to be married off) being forced to endure things diametrically opposed to her will—the brothers’ reactions are stoic, the system they accept as to how life must be lived immoveable and morally right simply by its very existence.

MILLIE BOBBY BROWN – THE STAR – In what has to be an Emmy-nomination-deserving turn, MBB is nothing short of wholly in charge of the screen. She never overpowers the story. She’s as loveable as Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping, and as ready for her closeup as Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games. As another review mentioned, she handles the 4th wall breaks in such as way as we look forward to the next time she’s going to talk to us. We ache with her sorrow for her lost mom, and rage with her at the adults in her life choosing wrongly for her future—or simply not choosing at all.

A random observation, but one that feels important to me: her HAIR. Yes! They’ve managed to make a late Victorian-era film where the heroine’s hair looks like real hair that someone really styled (or in some scenes, didn’t). And yet, where the hair looks proper for the time. [wild applause]

COMPLAINTS: Well, in honesty there aren’t any. If you want to complain that there isn’t any dirt, that the evil of the world (I mean, c’mon, this is narrowly post-Dickensian London, here) is neutered, that the adults in question seem neither alarmed enough or emboldened enough at either their mother or sister being missing and possibly out of their depths in a dangerous society without protection, and in Enola’s case real-world skills--? Well, I’m certainly not going to disagree with you. This is YA Victorian London, after all, not Ripper Street. There is also neither a hint of or actual threat of sexual violence at any point in the film. But the lack of that has preserved us from having to sit through that, as well as no doubt lectures about how Enola’s virtue might be spoilt and she might become useful to no man.

The relationships are appropriate, too. Despite strides between Enola and certain adults in the film, by the time the credits roll they’re not showing physical affection toward each other (a move that would have seemed over-the-top), and teen relationships are shown progressing at a reasonable and mutedly awkward pace.

Now, Netflix, green-light me five more films (or more). There’s still a new version of John Watson to meet, after all!

[maxwell-grant]

any thoughts on james bond??

Not really a fan and I don’t think that’s gonna change. I don’t have much experience with the character to begin with, I watched the Daniel Craig movies which bored me to death. I watched Goldfinger, which I remembered as being fun the first time I viewed it as a kid, but I find it hard to stand as an adult because Sean Connery was an awful man and oh yeah, that’s also the movie where James Bond rapes someone (I get that it was supposed to be a slap-slap-kiss thing but that is very much not what it’s in the scene). And I read the original Casino Royale novel, which is a must-read largely for it’s importance in pop culture and has some interesting aspects to it but, again, nothing that really got me to seek out the character.

Look, I get why Bond has become this huge cultural institution and the spy of popular fiction ever since his debut, why the 60s was the era of “Bond, Beatles and Batman” and why he’s kinda become the new standard for non-superhero action protagonists. I am extremely fond of that particular style you see in media like The Incredibles and Team Fortress 2, and that style owes a lot of it to the Bond films, hell I just posted above a screencap of Venture Bros, my favorite cartoon series. I’m certainly not gonna knock on popular enjoyment of a morally dubious man of action in a slick suit who charms and shoots his way through problems, after writing my most popular posts on my unabashed worship of Vincenzo. 

The things I like the most about Bond’s character in Casino Royale and the Bond of the original novels are largely the ways in which he almost betrays the impossibly competent image he’s been set up with later. I like that he gets picked specifically just because he’s the Service’s best gambler and not because he's the best everythint, I like that he’s uncomfortable with killing and especially the targeted assassinations, I like that he has vices and struggles because of his job. His job kinda forces him to be by default an unfeeling asshole who exploits people, and I think that’s an interesting perspective to develop, even without the context of it being James Bond before “being James Bond is the coolest thing ever” was the driving thesis of the franchise.

Thing is, I never really found any reason to give a damn about anything in Bond, other than enjoyment of the stylistic trappings and absurdities which just get kinda old after a while. I don’t enjoy the titular character or the hordes of largely one-dimensional "Bond Girls”, I don’t think the villains are interesting despite their supposed reputation in pop culture, I don’t get that much enjoyment out of death traps and car chases and gun fights if I don’t have anything at all to care about in the situations. I don’t think characters inspired by Bond tend to be interesting and even Bond parodies have gotten largely old and stale (I do like Johnny English but that’s solely because Rowan Atkinson is my favorite comedian and I’ll watch him in anything, and even then I didn’t even remember there was a third film).

As a kid, the idea of being a secret agent in service of the government has never really been terribly appealing to me, and as an adult it appeals even less. I don’t entirely dislike government agent characters by default, I really like Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks and An Gi-Seok from Vincenzo and agents of fictional organizations like Hellboy’s BRPD and Carmen Sandiego’s ACME, but I can’t shake off the stink of imperialism off my perception of Bond in particular. Again, I know it’s fiction, I know I talk about morally dubious protagonists I love all the time, but it’s the fact that Bond is so closely tied to his role as a government-sponsored murderer, my disdain for real-life governments and secret services being depicted in fiction as a swell and cool thing and not at all what they actually are, and the fact that I do not find Bond at all convincing or interesting enough for me to overlook that and buy into the fantasy, all blends together to make me dislike him.  

And yeah, Ian Fleming had utterly wretched views on gender and race and that bleeds a lot into the stories. People knock on pulps for racism and sexism a lot, and it's not undeserved, but even then I’ve seldom read anything in them as appallingbas the kind of shit you get on the Bond novels, and it’s harder to separate those from the character when so much of it is framed as the thoughts and opinions and attitudes of the character to the world around him. I would still not like James Bond even if I could put aside all the racism and sexism, and I very much cannot, but the fact that they are there, atop everything else, atop the character being an actual rapist at worst and his most iconic actor being unabashedly proud of being a wife beater and somehow still remembered fondly as a pop culture badass, and you end up with the one time Alan Moore did a comically grotesque exaggeration of a character in LOEG and I thought “you know what, I acknowledge that this is overblown and stupid and immersion-breaking but fuck it, I can’t blame you for your thoughts on this particular character manifesting with such bile”.

I know there’s good stuff in James Bond novels and films, I know why the character is super iconic and popular, please don’t misconstrue anything I’m saying as me thinking James Bond fans are horrible or something, because I don’t want to get that across at all. But I personally do not like Bond, and I don’t think I have to force myself to when there’s so many other types of characters and even spies that I prefer so much more. I don’t think I’m ever really going to be a Bond fan (I do like Timothy Dalton as an actor though, and if Sam Neil ever got to play Bond like he auditioned for, I probably would have at least some affection for the character since I really like him). 

I do like Austin Powers also. A lot of the jokes have aged really poorly and apparently Mike Myers is kind of an ass on set, but I think the concept of the eternally outdated parody spy still works, the films still have pretty funny scenes, and most importantly, he spoofed the concept to death so hard that even Daniel Craig said “Mike Myers fucked us”. Austin sucked out and absorbed all the fun parts of James Bond and then made them so funny and ridiculous that the Bond franchise has never again been able to have too much fun with itself, and if I gave a shit about Bond I would probably dislike that, but I don’t so, you go Austin. 

[charliejrogers]

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Or, Sorkin’s attempt to show you how nothing has changed in 52 years)

If you know anything about Aaron Sorkin, the much-acclaimed writer/creator of television shows like The West Wing, The Newsroom, you know that subtlety is not his strong suit. So, I was rather hesitant going into his newest film, The Trial of the Chicago 7, the infamous trial of eight gentlemen accused of conspiracy to incite violence/rioting in Chicago during the notorious 1968 DNC riots. Without diving too deep into the history, August 1968 was not Chicago’s finest hour. When the protesters chanted as a warning to the police, “The Whole World Is Watching!”, they weren’t wrong. Years ahead of the 24-hour news cycle, people all across America (and across the world) were glued to the TV watching the Chicago police beat the ever-living snot out of young folks protesting the Democratic Party’s decision to support the ever-controversial war in Vietnam. The film’s subject matter is sure to draw parallels to and resonate strongly with both the protests and civil unrest that took place this past summer following the death of George Floyd and countless other Black folk at the hands of police. So despite it’s appropriate timeliness, I was hesitant to watch this movie because I really wasn’t interested in watching Aaron Sorkin (who not only wrote but directed this film) try to mansplain to me that the trial of the Chicago 7 was all about injustice! Without knowing anything else about the trial beforehand (and I really didn’t), I already knew it’s a famous case of injustice. I wanted to watch the movie to learn about the people, the humans involved, and the nuance of the situation.

The film gets off to a rough start in the nuance department. After an effective montage introducing us to six of the eight members of the Chicago 7 (we’ll get to why there’s that numerical discrepancy), we meet the character who will be the lead prosecutor of the case: a straight-laced, clean-cut lawyer played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. In an attempt to plant the seed early on that the eponymous trial is a sham, the first real scene of the film sees Gordon-Levitt meeting with Nixon’s newly appointment Attorney General John Mitchell who is pissed off that the prior AG didn’t resign from the office until an hour before Mitchell was confirmed. As retaliation, and in line with history’s understanding of Nixon’s pathologic paranoia, Mitchell decides to re-open the case exploring whether there was any conspiracy to incite riots in Chicago 1968. As JGL explains, this was something which Johnson’s AG as well as prior FBI investigations already decided did was not a viable case. The conversation that ensues is a little too on-the-nose. JGL shares his concerns that he doesn’t believe that the Chicago 7 are actually guilty, but Mitchell tells JGL, “then imagine how impressed I’ll be when you get a conviction.”

Of course, this conversation is largely a Sorkin invention, as is the weird decision to try to humanize the prosecutor played by Gordon-Levitt. I say "weird" because the film doesn’t do anything with it. We don’t get a real sense beyond that initial scene that JGL feels guilt or remorse for being a cog in the Nixon machine. The beginning of the film sets him up to be a similar character to David Schwimmer’s fascinating turn as Robert Kardashian in The People vs. O.J. Simpson. But in the end, it’s clear that Sorkin uses him just as a way in the beginning of the film to provide the thesis statement for the film, as if he were writing this script as a college term paper. This bothers me so much because it makes a late-film surprise appearance by Michael Keaton as Johnson’s AG lose a good deal of its impact. It would have been so much better if we as the audience came to the same revelation about the political origin of the trial at the same time that the defense lawyers did.

Sorkin’s lack of subtlety reared its ugly head in a few key moments that caused me to audibly groan while watching this film. Towards the end of the film, one of the more dramatic defendants, the merry prankster hippie Abbie Hoffman (played very well by Sacha Baron Cohen), is on the stand and is asked a particularly difficult question by the prosecution. He pauses. The prosecution asks what’s taking so long. Hoffman responds in a serious tone that runs opposite of his usual character, “Sorry, I’ve never been on trial for my thoughts before.” The film then slowly fades to black. I half-expected to hear the famous Law & Order “chun-chunn” sound next. That’s how cheesy and self-righteous the scene was.

The film’s ending too, where the defendants read off a list of all the fallen soldiers from Vietnam prior to their sentencing, felt a little too Hollywood to be believable… and indeed it didn’t happen that way. Elsewhere in the film, one of the more “prim and proper” defendants, the young head of the Students for a Democratic Society Thomas Hayden played by Eddie Redmayne, reflexively stands in honor of the judge’s exit as is court custom, forgetting that he and the rest of the defendants agreed not to stand. That’s not the bad part. The bad part comes later when Redmayne’s character travels to someone’s home and the Black maid who answers the door says to him, “I heard you were the only one to stand for the judge,” and then the camera just sorta lingers on her disappointment. We get it! The judge is a bad dude! Let’s move on!

Seriously, let’s move on. For all my griping, this is a very good movie. Those instances where Sorkin’s moral heavy-handedness is plain to see are so glaring because for the most part, the movie does a fantastic job of addressing the film’s (sadly still) politically controversial themes (police brutality, the culpability of protesters in starting riots, systemic racism, etc.) with a good deal of nuance. This mostly happens when Sorkin just sticks to the facts of the case, like when dealing with the whole saga of Bobby Seale, the eighth and only Black man of the Chicago 7. The day before the trial begins, Seale's lawyer required emergent surgery. Seale’s motion to have the trial postponed till he receive proper counsel is denied, as is his request to represent himself. Therefore, on trial without counsel, he frequently interrupts the court arguing about the unconstitutional nature of his trial, until the judge, played to chilling perfection by Frank Langella, becomes fed up with the interruptions and orders that Seale be bound, gagged, and chained to his chair. It’s a crazy powerful and uncomfortable scene, among the most haunting images I’ve seen in cinema. Finally, Seale’s case is determined to be a mistrial, changing the number of defendants from eight to seven. Hence, the Chicago 7.

But, the most inspired sequence of the film comes late in the movie when the defense gets wind of the prosecution’s plan to play a recording from the night of the riots where the prim and proper Tom Hayden can be (arguably) heard urging hundreds of listeners to “let blood flow all over the city.” Tom still believes that he would do well on the witness stand, but his defense lawyer (Mark Rylance as William Kuntsler) insists on showing him why this would be a bad idea. The ensuing scene sees Rylance role play the part of the prosecution cross-examining Hayden while the film intercuts scenes of a flashback of the actual events. the “truth” of that night, significantly muddies the water for this case. It by no means proves that the Chicago 7 are guilty of a conspiracy, but it certainly highlights the more human aspect of their situation. How is one expected to keep their calm when their best friend is beaten? And to what degree are people to be held responsible for decisions made in the heat of the moment?

The movie also has also interesting commentary on who should be the “face” or progressive politics, even today: the well-to-do and respectable Hayden or the in-your-face hippie comedian Hoffman? It’s an interesting question that never seems fully explored or resolved. Sorkin seems to land in the camp that Hayden’s respectability merely maintains status quo whereas Hoffman’s flagrant anti-establishment views is required for real change. But I don’t know how much of that is me just loving Cohen’s performance as Hoffman and finding Redmayne’s Hayden to be (appropriately) insufferably pretentious. Sorkin certainly gives Cohen the better lines.

Overall, this is a movie held up by its two primary strengths: its cast and its film structure. Aside from general inconsistencies of the script’s tone and the notable weakness I mentioned previously about overplaying the political motivation for the trial in the film's first 5 minutes, the film is nearly perfectly structured. We are sort of dropped in medias res into the trial and only get the facts of those few days shown to us in carefully placed flashbacks that help to flesh out the drama of the trial. It helps maintain pacing in what could have been a drag of a legal drama. 

But really, it’s the cast and their performances that sell this movie. Sacha Baron Cohen is the star in my mind, so perfectly cast as Abbie Hoffman, but Frank Langella as the septuagenarian, prejudiced judge of the case is equally powerful. Yahya Abdul-Manteen II as the Black Panther Bobby Seale lends an air of desperate seriousness to the film, Eddie Redmayne shines as that white liberal dude who takes himself way too seriously, and Mark Rylance is wonderful as the courageous lead defense attorney, particularly in scenes dealing with Bobby Seale. While the whole trial weighs on him heavily as the film progresses, his genuine concern for Seale is palpable.

I spent much of this review telling you the things that were odd about this film, and I stand by that. But as I said, those things stand out because this is such a slick production that the cracks become that much more obvious. It largely avoids Sorkin’s penchant for blunt lack of nuance and offers a story that helps to greatly contextualize the very world we live in. It’s interesting that a story that sees ten men (including their lawyers) fail to win a fight against The Man still feels like an inspiring underdog tale. It resonated well with this viewer, especially as the ending makes clear that justice is eventually served. Yet, I recognize this may be a dangerous tale to tell these days, and why I think the movie is so successful is that it gives plenty of sobering evidence to suggest that justice (both then and now) is by no means guaranteed.

***/ (Three and a half out of four stars)

[beelsnack]

Hi! I saw your requests are open and I was wondering if you could write a little reaction of the bros + undatable (if you do that) in hearing mc singing or seeing mc dancing and and find out they're very good at it. Thank you in advance, lots of love!❣

*bursts through the wall* Choir kid mode, activate!!

Hope you like it, Nonnie!

Lucifer: The human tended to be...noisy.

That wasn’t the right word, and Lucifer knew it wasn’t the right word, but he couldn’t think of another way to phrase it. They were always humming a Human Realm song he didn’t know, tapping their foot to a beat he couldn’t hear, swaying to a rhythm he couldn’t feel.

So he shouldn’t have been surprised to discover that they had quite the siren’s voice.

He had been in the process of leaving the House of Lamentation to attend a meeting with Diavolo. The fact that the human’s bedroom door was left slightly ajar didn’t even register to him until their voice reached him, making him pause.

Although they were merely singing for themself, and thus not putting all of their power behind their voice, he could still tell how strong it was. Clear, bright, and mid-range. Without fully meaning to, Lucifer closed his eyes and listened. He didn’t know the song or the lyrics, but that didn’t make their voice any less captivating...

Until a harsh clattering interrupted both of them.

Their D.D.D vibrated against their desk, cutting off their singing and breaking Lucifer out of his spellbound state. With a shake of his head, he continued on, smiling softly. Their human was just full of surprises, weren’t they?

Mammon: “Nu-uh, you’re lyin’ to me.”

“Swear to Go - oops,” the human cut themself off with a laugh. “Guess that’s not a thing I should do down here. But for real!”

Mammon snorted, folding his arms behind his head as he flopped back against the human’s pillows. “I can’t see it.”

The two of them were parked on their bed, having long since tuned out the high school anime that Levi had begged them to watch. They had managed to make it to the part where the main love interest stumbled upon the shy nerdy character practicing in the choir room and revealing that they had some Broadway-worthy pipes before they got bored.

“I’m telling you, I was a hardcore choir kid!” the human smacked Mammon on the shoulder with the pillow they had been cuddling with. “I did competitions and everything!”

“That might be the lamest thing you’ve ever told me.” Mammon snickered. “Did you wear robes and shit too? Ow, hey, stop hitting me!”

The human gave him one final pillow-smack to the face. “Well, I WAS going to show you the video of the solo I did, but…”

“Aw, hey, don’t be like that.” he whined, popping up. “You know I’m just messin’ with you.”

After a few more minutes of poking and prodding, Mammon finally convinced them to pull up the video. All of the choir members were dressed smartly in black, but even in uniform, his human outshone them all. They stood apart from the rest, in front of a microphone, and belted out the most heartfelt lyrics Mammon had ever heard. It was a little bit tear-jerking - not that he was tearing up or anything!

“Well?” the nudged him with their elbow as the video finished up. “What do you think?”

“I’ve heard worse.” he shrugged, pointedly turning his head away so they wouldn’t see the awestruck look in his eyes.

“That’s Mammon-ese for “you’re the best singer in the Three Realms,’ right?” they grinned impishly.

“Oh, shut it, human.”

Leviathan: This was all Levi’s fault.

About a week ago, one of his idols had released a video of their dance practice, and, like the incorrigible fanboy that he was, Levi had proceeded to geek. He had sent the video to them, accompanied by flurry of keysmash and emojis that came in so fast that their D.D.D had vibrated off of their nightstand before they could catch it.

After the initial fangasm, Levi demanded they watch the video and tell him what they thought. They had learned from experience that he wouldn’t shut up until they gave him a thesis paper about the video, so the tapped on the link.

It was definitely interesting choreography, and it looked fun. After watching it - with copious amounts of bouncing and swaying to the catchy beat - they flipped over to their messages.

Human: Man, that looks so cool! I kind of want to learn it!

Leviachan: Hah! Good luck, normie, this band is renown for their intense dances. Even I couldn’t do it!

Challenge. Accepted.

With a satisfied smirk, they watched as the file sent to Levi. It definitely could have been better quality, but considering they filmed it with their D.D.D camera perched on a stack of books, it looked pretty damn good.

Levi hadn’t been kidding, the dance was intense. Their muscles were sorer than they were after they worked out with Beel. But, nothing motivated quite like spite, and it was completely worth it when Levi responded.

Leviachan: You…but…how?!

Leviachan: It’s only been a week!! How could you have memorized it that quickly?!?!

Leviachan: More importantly, how were you able to do it?!

Leviachan: I know demons who have injured themselves trying to learn these moves!!

Levichan: *gasp* Don’t tell me you were an idol up in the Human Realm?!

Levichan: Hey, answer me already!!

Satan: He has definitely seen this in a movie somewhere.

The human was looking for a specific book - they were struggling to find research for their Ancient Curses course, and if anyone had a helpful book, it would be Satan. He had offered to help look, but they insisted that they could do it themself.

He doubted that, but never let it be said that their human wasn’t a tenacious little thing.

Watching them climb up the library ladder made his anxiety spike, but they handled themself just fine. Slowly but surely, he went back to his reading, keeping one ear tuned into the sounds they were making somewhere behind him.

That’s when he heard it.

He thought he was imagining things, or maybe the human had stumbled upon one of the books that spoke to you when you opened it. But, as he listened closer, he realized it was their voice.

“Here’s where she meets Prince Charming,

But she doesn’t know it’s him ‘til chapter three…”

There was no holding back his laughter even if he wanted to. He didn’t even need to look to know that they were sliding around on the ladder like that scene from Beauty and the Beast.

“What are you doing over there, Belle?”

“I want much more than this provincial life!”

Asmodeus: He couldn’t believe his luck.

Every time he had invited the human out to The Fall, they had staunchly refused him. They fed him every excuse in the book - they had to study, they were tired, they weren’t feeling good, etc. Even if he couldn’t work his magic on them, he could tell their reluctance was a result of fear of being surrounded by intoxicated demons.

Being around the brothers was one thing - they trusted them quite literally with their life. But other low-class, desperate demons with no such loyalty? Asmo didn’t blame them, and he didn’t push the issue.

But this time, they had said yes.

He didn’t know what changed, and frankly, he would care about that later. For know, he reveled in the fact that he got to see his cute little human all dressed up to go out! Ooh, they looked absolutely delicious.

And drunk.

“Well?” he asked over the pulsing beat of the music. “Are you socially lubricated enough to join me on the dance floor?”

For a moment, they stared at their cup before knocking it back and setting it on the table with a pronounced thunk. “Yup.”

Just as they arrived, the music changed. Slowly, sultry, and sexy. For a moment, Asmo thought they were going to shy away, but that liquid courage was doing it’s job phenomenally.

They moved with grace and elegance that reminded Asmo of the devotees at the ancient temples of Greece. He hummed a little when they accentuated the beat with a teasing roll of their hips.

“You’ve been holding out on me, darling,” he pulled them close to murmur in their ear.

“You think so?” they giggled. “If you like this, you should see me give a lap dance.”

Beelzebub: There was a little corner in the kitchen that had officially become the human’s herb garden.

Little pots with all kinds of green growing out of them were lined up neatly on the windowsill above the sink, and the plants from the Human Realm that needed sunlight that the Devildom didn’t have were placed against the wall beneath them, basking in the sunlamp they had bought on their last visit home.

It was a nice addition, and Beel could always tell when the human used their herbs in cooking. Something about it just tasted..better. He couldn’t quite figure out why.

Well, until now, that is.

He had just finished his morning workout and decided to grab a little pre-breakfast snack. With the sweat he worked up, he earned it. Swiping his forearm across his face to wipe off some of the sweat, he rounded the corner into the kitchen.

The human was standing with their back to him, tending to their garden. No matter how many times they reminded themself, they still forgot to buy a watering can, so they were still using a cup to water the plants. They took their time at each pot, giving them the appropriate amount of water and…

Singing to them?

Beel paused, hand around the door handle of the fridge. Yup, they were definitely singing to the plants, gently inspecting the leaves as they did so. Their voice was soft and sweet, and as Beel watched them,he could have sworn the plants looked a little more cheerful as they passed over them.

Beel felt a little more cheerful too.

Belphegor: “Did you seriously ask me to come over just so you could use my lap as a pillow.”

It was more of a statement than a question, and Belphie barely opened his eye enough to give them a lazy glare. “Yes.”

“Why.” they sighed, slumping back against the wall.

“You have a comfy lap.”

“You have, like, fifty pillows.”

“And none of them are your lap.” Belphie rolled over onto his back to look at them fully. Despite the bored expression he had, they could see the twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “If you’re going to keep making noise, sing me a lullaby.”

He had been almost entirely joking. So when they started to actually sing, he felt his heart do something funny.

They had a soothing voice. Not too high, not too low…a perfect lullaby voice, actually. Without really meaning too, he felt himself start to doze. Before he actually fell asleep, he nuzzled closer to them.

“I wasn’t expecting you to actually be a good singer. Keep going.”

Diavolo: “I thought you said they didn’t teach ballroom dancing in Human Realm schools anymore.”

They couldn’t help but laugh at the situation they were in. Lord Diavolo had taken to having weekly “meetings” with them that were a thinly veiled excuse to grill them about whatever human custom he found himself fascinated with. Now it felt more like a gossip session instead of a meeting with the Crown Prince of Hell.

The week prior, they had lamented the fact that they were attending all of these formal gatherings as the Human Representative of the Student Council, but didn’t know any of the waltzes or other dances that seemed popular. It made them feel out of the loop.

So, they shouldn’t have been surprised when they arrived at the Demon Lord’s Castle to find Diavolo waiting for them in the ballroom.

“They don’t,” the human giggled as Diavolo spun them around. They had long since given up on memorizes steps and were now basically just twirling around the dance floor. “I guess I’m just a quick learner!”

“I should say so.” Diavolo’s smile was nearly blinding. “If I didn’t know better, I would say you were classically trained!”

The human spared a glance down at their beat-up sneakers and jeans with a hole in the knee. “Really?”

“Clothes have nothing to do with it, my dear,” Diavolo suddenly pulled them closer before lowering them into a dip. “You could be dressed in rags and I would still find you mesmerizing.”

Simeon: “May I have this dance?”

Lucifer was still trying to hide them behind his back, but the human was having none of it. They ducked from beneath his arm and took Simeon’s offered hand. “Of course.”

It was hard not to burst into laughter at the angry sputtering and protesting behind them. Even Simeon couldn’t quite hold back the amused grin on his face. “I think you were supposed to refuse me.”

The two of them stopped in the middle of dance floor as the music started. “I like to keep things interesting.”

Simeon laughed, taking the lead. The dance wasn’t too complicated, almost boring. Until Simeon leaned down to whisper in their ear.

“What do you think? Shall we have some fun with them?”

They followed his gaze over to where the brothers stood fuming. Based on the air changing colors, they would bet good money that Satan was attempting to curse Simeon.

“Let’s.”

Simeon led them into a spin, and when they came back, he pulled them flush against his chest. He looked like he was about to give them instructions, but they leaned into him with an impish grin. His blue eyes widened slightly as they put their weight on him, sliding their leg up to his hip in a decidedly scandalous manner.

It didn’t fit the song at all, but the angry squawking from Mammon and the whine from Asmodeus was music to their ears.

“You catch on quick.” he laughed.

“I have to use those dance lessons for something, don’t I?”

[eddie-redmayne-italian-blog]

photos by Frank Ockenfels

The Long Journey and Intense Urgency of Aaron Sorkin's 'The Trial of the Chicago 7'

by Rebecca Keegan September 23, 2020, 6:00  am PDT

The director of the Netflix film, which stars Sacha Baron Cohen, Jeremy Strong, Eddie Redmayne and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, reveals why it took nearly 20 years to get the project about the politically motivated prosecution of protestors made and why it couldn't be more timely: "I never imagined today would go so much like 1968."

In October 2019, hundreds of protesters marched down Chicago’s Michigan Avenue toward the Hilton, chanting phrases like "No justice, no peace!" and "A people united will never be defeated!" as police in riot gear descended on the crowd with billy clubs and tear gas. Earnest and energized, clad in 1960s period costumes and flanked by vintage police vehicles, this group thought they were acting out the past, staging a scene from Aaron Sorkin’s The Trial of the Chicago 7. As it turned out, they were performing the future, too.

Sorkin’s film, which opens in select theaters Sept. 25 and hits Netflix on Oct.  16, tells the story of the riots at the 1968 Chicago Democratic National Convention and the circus-like trial of political activists that followed the next year. Thanks to Hollywood development hell, the movie is arriving 14  years after Steven Spielberg first mentioned the idea to Sorkin but just as its themes and plot points — civil unrest, a self-proclaimed "law and order" president’s vilification of protesters (Nixon then, Trump now), the police’s excessive use of force, tensions within the Democratic Party over how far left to move — have become bracingly current."I never wanted the film to be about 1968," Sorkin says in an interview over Zoom from his house in the Hollywood Hills on Labor Day weekend. "I never wanted it to be an exercise in nostalgia or a history lesson. I wanted it to be about today. But I never imagined that today would get so much like 1968."For only the second time in a career spanning nine films as a screenwriter, Sorkin serves as director with Chicago 7, helming a sprawling ensemble cast that includes Eddie Redmayne as anti-war activist Tom Hayden, Sacha Baron Cohen as Youth International Party (Yippie) provocateur Abbie Hoffman, Succession’s Jeremy Strong as counterculture figure Jerry Rubin and Watchmen’s Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Black Panther party co-founder Bobby Seale. There are undeniable parallels not only between the film and the present political moment but also between the performance-art activism of the actors and the men they’re playing, most vividly Cohen, who, like Hoffman, has made a career of political self-expression through comedic stunts, including crashing a far-right rally in Olympia, Washington, this summer while pretending to be a racist country singer. (Cohen, who shoots most of his satirical projects incognito, impishly calls reports of his appearance at the rally  "fake news.")Eight months after Sorkin filmed the protest scenes in Chicago, Abdul-Mateen was marching in Black Lives Matter protests in West Hollywood, as was Strong in Brooklyn. "There’s power when a lot of people come together to protest out of anger, out of frustration," Abdul-Mateen says. "Everybody has a role in the revolution; this film shows that.

"Though the movie feels crafted for this political moment, it was born of another. At Sorkin’s first meeting with Spielberg, "I remember him saying, 'It would be great if we could have this out before the election,'" Sorkin says. The election Spielberg was talking about was 2008’s, when Barack Obama and Joe Biden faced John McCain and Sarah Palin.The film hit multiple roadblocks, beginning with the 2007-08 writers strike and continuing as financing faltered repeatedly, a fate illustrated by the more than 30 producers who can claim some sort of credit on Chicago 7. It took another unscheduled detour this summer after Sorkin finished it as the pandemic worsened, and the odds of original distributor Paramount mounting a successful theatrical release before the Nov. 3 election seemed increasingly slim. For some involved with the film, there is a question about the ethics of Hollywood inviting audiences to return to theaters before a COVID-19 vaccine is widely available. "

There’s a moral quandary that we, the motion picture business, have to be careful that we don’t become the tobacco industry, where we’re encouraging people to do something we know is potentially lethal," says Cohen.Before his visit to Spielberg’s Pacific Palisades home to discuss the project on a Saturday afternoon in 2006, Sorkin knew next to nothing about the Chicago 7. The federal government had charged seven defendants — Hoffman, Rubin, Hayden, David Dellinger, Rennie Davis, John Froines and Lee Weiner — with conspiracy for their participation in the protests against the Vietnam War outside the Democratic National Convention. (Originally the men were known as the Chicago 8 and included Seale, who asked to have his trial separated from that of the others and postponed so that he could be represented by his preferred lawyer, who was ill; that trial never took place.)

When Spielberg proposed a movie about the riots and the trial that followed, Sorkin, who was 7 in 1968, said, "'You know, that sounds great. Count me in.' As soon as I left his house, I called my father and said, 'Dad, do you know anything about a riot that happened in 1968 or a crazy conspiracy trial that followed?' I was just saying yes to Steven."Despite his ignorance, Sorkin was a logical choice to write the project: Having penned Broadway’s A Few Good Men and its 1992 film adaptation as well as the long-running NBC series West Wing, he’d shown a flair for dramatizing courtroom procedures and liberal politics, and he turned in his first draft of the Chicago 7 script in 2007. Originally, Spielberg planned to direct the project himself, but by the time the writers strike was over, he had moved on and a number of other potential directors circled, including Paul Greengrass, Ben Stiller, Peter Berg and Gary Ross, though none was able to get it off the ground. "There was just a feeling that, 'Look, this isn’t an Avengers film,'" Sorkin says of the studios' move away from midbudget dramas and toward action tentpoles in the 2010s. "This isn’t an easy sell at the box office. And there are big scenes, riots, crowd scenes. How can this movie be done for the budget that makes sense for what the expectation is at the box office?"As the project languished, Sorkin tried writing it as a play, ultimately spending 18 months on a fruitless effort to fashion a stage treatment. "What I didn’t like was having a script in my drawer," he says. "I was just thinking, 'Jeez, this is a good movie and it feels like it’s stillborn.'"It was the confluence of two events that ultimately revived the film with Sorkin in the director’s chair in 2018 — the 2016 election of Donald Trump and the 2017 release of Sorkin’s well-received directorial debut, Molly’s Game, which doubled its production budget at the box office. "This is before George Floyd and Breonna Taylor and police protests or confrontations," Sorkin says. "This is just when Donald Trump was musing nostalgically about the old days when they used to carry that guy [a protester] out of here on a stretcher and punch the crap out of him."With Trump’s throwback rhetoric lending the subject matter a new timeliness and Sorkin’s directing chops confirmed in Spielberg’s eyes, the movie moved forward with its screenwriter at the helm.

Cross Creek Pictures came in to finance, and Paramount bought the domestic rights. But all those years in development had left an expensive imprint on the project — a jaw-dropping $11  million had been spent on casting costs, producing fees and the optioning of Brett Morgen’s 2007 documentary about the event, Chicago 10, leaving just $24  million for the actual 36-day production.

One way Sorkin attempts to achieve a sense  of scope despite that budget is by intercutting real black-and-white news footage with his dramatized protests. He rounded out his large cast with a deep bench of experienced and award-winning actors including Oscar winner Mark Rylance as defense attorney William Kunstler, Oscar nominee Frank Langella as Judge Julius Hoffman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as prosecutor Richard Schultzand, Oscar nominee Michael Keaton as former U.S. Attorney General Ramsey Clark — with the filmmaker and many of his actors working for scale. (Abdul-Mateen and Strong both became first-time Emmy winners Sept.  20.)Sorkin shot the protest scenes on location in Chicago and built a courtroom set in an old church sanctuary in Paterson, New Jersey, because none of the available courtroom locations in the Garden State conveyed the scope he wanted. "If we’re saying the whole world is watching, I want a packed courtroom for six months full of press and spectators," Sorkin says. "I wanted the big, cavernous feeling of the federal government and its power coming down on these people."

Julian Wasser/The LIFE Images Collection via Getty Images/Getty Images           "The movie is tribute to the bravery of the protesters of 1968 [pictured] and today in Belarus, on the streets of America, in Portland," says Cohen.            

Among the vestiges of Spielberg’s original plan was the casting of Cohen as Hoffman, which required the London native to affect a Boston accent and return to a subject he had studied as an undergraduate at Christ’s College in Cambridge, where he wrote a thesis paper about Jewish activists during the civil rights movement. At 19, Cohen had interviewed Bob Moses, the leader of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, which Hoffman was involved in before he founded the anti-war Yippie movement. "Honestly, I was very proud of the fact that Jews were involved in the Black civil rights movement in the '60s, and there wasn’t much written about it," Cohen says, explaining his youthful scholarship.

There’s a clear line to draw between Hoffman’s 1960s theatrics — which included throwing fistfuls of money into the gallery of the New York Stock Exchange and vowing to levitate the Pentagon — and Cohen’s contemporary TV and film pranks. Perhaps among Cohen’s most memorable and pointed gags was getting Vice President Dick Cheney to gleefully autograph a waterboard kit, which the comic did while posing as an admiring Israeli anti-terror expert for a 2018 episode of Who Is America?, his Showtime series. “What I wanted to do was to show that he was proud of torturing," Cohen says. "I could not believe how happy Cheney was to be sitting next to an uber-fan. So, yes. Ultimately in the shows and the movies that I do, I’m trying to be funny, but yeah, I’m trying to get out the anger that I have within me."

Cohen sees Hoffman’s unorthodox protest methods as pragmatic. "The Yippies were underfunded, and he was using theatricality to gain attention for his aims," Cohen says. "He wanted to stop the war. And how do you do that? You use stunts and absurdist humor to try to effect change." The actor estimates that, after researching Hoffman, he pitched Sorkin hundreds of lines the activist had really delivered. "As an annoying person with a lot of chutzpah, I was emailing Aaron every other night until morning, 'What about this line? What about this line?'" Cohen says. The writer-director, known for his exacting prose, politely tolerated the suggestions while largely sticking to his own script.

As Rubin, Strong is playing Hoffman’s conscientious jester sidekick, a role wildly different from the tragic, wealthy approval seeker he portrays on Succession. Strong added some of his own dramatic flourishes, including painting words on his chest for one courtroom scene and bringing a remote-controlled fart machine to disrupt Langella’s imperious judge. "I wanted to channel as much as possible that spirit of the merry prankster and of joyous dissent," Strong says. Hoffman and Rubin’s real-life personae were so large that Sorkin at times asked his actors to dial down their faithful portrayals, requesting, after one particularly jubilant take, "less cowbell."

Sorkin’s script draws a sharp contrast between Hoffman and Rubin’s campy methods and Hayden’s more reserved approach to the anti-war movement, with the tensions between Hoffman and Hayden supplying the film’s key relationship in a kind of begrudging brotherhood of the peace movement. To learn more about Hayden, Redmayne studied remarks that Jane Fonda, who was married to the activist and politician from 1973 to 1990, made upon his death in 2016. In his own life, Redmayne is cautious when it comes to discussing the role that he, as an actor at the center of a huge studio franchise (Warner Bros.’ Fantastic Beasts) might have in political life. "I find it endlessly challenging," Redmayne says of navigating his public activism. "There’s the elitist thing. It’s speaking up on climate change but being conscious that you’re traveling a lot. One has to be aware of one’s own hypocrisies, because they can be detrimental to something you believe in. So sometimes I find that I have to live my life and speak to my advocacy in a way in that it’s around friends, family and people I know rather than making something public."

Abdul-Mateen has begun his acting career largely associated with fantastical roles, like Dr. Manhattan on HBO’s Watchmen, Black Manta in Aquaman and Candyman in the upcoming Jordan Peele-produced remake of the slasher film. Playing Seale represented a chance to do more grounded work and to depict a man who had loomed large during Abdul-Mateen’s childhood in Oakland, where Seale co-founded the Black Panthers in 1966 and later ran for mayor. Seale’s inclusion in the original Chicago riots indictment was controversial and strange — prosecutors accused him of conspiring with men he’d never met after visiting Chicago that week for only a few hours to deliver a speech. For the prosecution, Seale functioned largely as a prop to tap into the fears of white jurors and white Americans watching the news coverage, and during the trial he had no attorney. "I wanted to key in on, how did Bobby Seale survive this trial?" Abdul-Mateen says. "How did he survive the gross mistreatment by the United States government, and how did he go through that with his head high and not be broken? It was an exercise in finding my pride, finding my dignity."

In one scene, Seale is brought into the courtroom bound and gagged, and throughout the trial he is kept separate from the white defendants. "Although it was meant to be a humiliating act, I walked out with my chest high, with my head high. Bound and gagged and everything else. It would be very dangerous for a Black man in that time, even sometimes today, to show the proof of the wear and tear that oppression can take on a person, because that can be seen as a sign of weakness, and a sign of weakness is an open door that it’s working." For the moments of lightness that Cohen and Strong bring to the movie, Abdul-Mateen supplies ballast. "It’s important for the right reasons and at the right time to make art that makes people uncomfortable," he says.

Niko Tavernise/NETFLIX. On the set, from left, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Mark Rylance, Ben Shenkman, Aaron Sorkin and Eddie Redmayne

Spielberg has remained involved in the film "in an emeritus role," Sorkin says, "from giving me good script notes to casting to notes on early cuts of the film." He also showed up to the New Jersey courtroom set. "When you have to direct a scene in front of Steven Spielberg, you’re not at your most relaxed necessarily," Sorkin says. Spielberg did not, however, take an executive producing credit on the film and declined to be interviewed about it.

The decision to switch to a streaming release came after an early summer marketing strategy call between Sorkin, Paramount chief Jim Gianopulos, other Paramount execs and some of the film’s producers. "At the end of the call, Jim said, 'Listen, we don’t know what the theater business is going to look like in the fall. We have troubling data telling us that the first people back in movie theaters are going to be the people who think that the coronavirus is a hoax,'" Sorkin says. This was clearly not the intended audience for a movie whose heroes are liberal activists. "I said, 'I don’t think the Idaho militia are going to be the first people coming to this movie,'" Sorkin says.

The group agreed to explore alternatives and gave Netflix, Amazon, Apple and Hulu 24 hours to watch the film. After a bidding war, Chicago 7 landed at Netflix in a $56  million deal against its $35  million production budget, with a robust marketing campaign and promise of a theatrical release. "We knew we didn’t have the option of 'Let’s wait a year,'" Sorkin says. "This is what we’re thinking about and what we’re talking about right now, and it just would have been a real shame to not release it now."

After Chicago 7 opens in limited release, Netflix will add more theaters in the U.S. and abroad throughout October, expanding upon the film’s premiere on the service, a strategy akin to what it provided Oscar best picture nominees The Irishman and Roma, albeit in a wildly different theatrical environment.

As Hollywood opens up to more production, Sorkin, and many of the Chicago 7 actors, have begun returning to work. Abdul-Mateen has been in Berlin for The Matrix 4 and Redmayne in London for Fantastic Beasts 3, while Sorkin is shooting a West Wing reunion special at the Orpheum Theatre in downtown L.A. that will premiere on HBO Max in October as a fundraiser for When We All Vote and include video appearances by Michelle Obama, Bill Clinton and Lin-Manuel Miranda

For the real-life Chicago 7, the denouement consisted of ultimately being acquitted of conspiracy. Judge Hoffman sentenced Seale to four years in prison for contempt of court, one of the longest sentences ever handed down for that offense in the U.S., but those charges were overturned on appeal. Just three of the original eight defendants — Seale, Froines and Weiner — are still alive, but the legacy of the case lives on in contemporary protest movements. "The movie is tribute to the bravery of the protesters of 1968 and the protesters of today in Belarus, on the streets of America, in Portland," Cohen says. "These people now are risking their lives, and they’ll continue risking them."

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/the-trial-of-the-chicago-7-aaron-sorkin-and-stars-on-films-timeliness-to-election-and-why-everybody-has-a-role-in-the-revolution

[tvandenneagram]

Midsommar Enneagram Quicktypes

Dani - 9w1

Dani was a tricky one for me to type. I settled on 9w1, because I feel she comes across as detached and trying to withdraw from the craziness that is going on around her. As she is put under more stress as the movie goes on she becomes more outwardly anxious and (rightfully) paranoid about the commune’s true intentions (disintegrating to 6). I feel like Dani was always making excuses for Christian’s poor behaviour and lack of support in their relationship. She was made to feel like her emotions were a burden for him and that she shouldn’t express her grief around him. Dani spends a large majority of the movie internalising her emotions and only crying in private. She is constantly trying to put on a brave face when around other people. I considered typing her as a 6 because of the ending, which I read as her being happy to finally have a family to belong to. However, I believe that more than anything, she wanted to be seen and heard. 9s often feel like they can’t express their feelings as it will disrupt their peace, they commonly feel like they are not heard and their feels are less important than others. I think with her history with her sister and the way Christian was so dismissive of her in the relationship, she smiled because she was finally feeling like her feelings were valued. A specific example, is right before the climax of the film she is seen crying with the other Harga girls, which is a direct contrast to how she was previously shown never being able to share her sadness. I gave Dani a wing 1, as she is more repressed than a wing 8 would be. 

Christian - 9w8

Christian was a very emotionally distant and inattentive boyfriend. It seemed like he had been emotionally checked out of his relationship with Dani for a long time and it seems like he wanted out of the relationship for a while. Rather than being open and honest with his feelings, Christian was never straightforward with his intent about the relationship. I feel like Christian wanted to go to Sweden without telling Dani as an escape from his relationship with her and to avoid the confrontation of a breakup. This kind of checked out behaviour is quite characteristic of unhealthy 9s. Additionally, Christian comes across as someone who doesn’t know who he is or what he wants. He is meant to be working on a thesis, yet has no passions to research which leads to him stealing Josh’s idea. When they are at the commune, Christian acts almost like he has his head in the sand and ignores most of what is going on. When Dani tries to share her concerns with him, he quickly brushes them off. Christian rarely shows any emotional reactions, for example when he is told he is to mate with Maja he shows no reaction to a situation which is clearly very odd. I gave Christian a wing 8 as I think he is very stubborn and seems less rigid than a 9w1 would be.

Josh - 5w6

Josh had a real love for learning and cared a lot about doing well on his thesis. He was keenly intelligent and passionate about knowing more about the midsummer rituals. Josh was one of the primary reasons the friend group visited the commune as he had already begun researching it for his thesis.  Josh (unlike Christian) has passions and things he cares about, so when Christian tries to steal his idea he is very agitated. He comes across like he is not very empathetic or emotional and chastises Christian for being too emotionally involved to work on his thesis. Josh doesn’t really show Dani much concern for the grief she is going through. He knew about what the cliff jumping ritual (and probably some of the other stuff) entailed, but said nothing to his friends because he knew they would want to leave and he needed to stay there so he could gather more information. Furthermore, he is detached from his emotions so much so that he immediately goes to write notes on the ritual after witnessing people die. Josh is so consumed by his need for knowledge about the tribe, he sneaks in and takes photos of the book despite being denied that right, which ultimately leads to his death. I gave Josh a wing 6, as he seemed to be more people oriented than a wing 4 would be. He also seemed like he was more interested in practical ideas like a 5w6 would be.

Mark - 7w8

Mark has little concern for other’s feelings or traditions. For example, he pees on the sacred tree (by accident), but shows no remorse for it when confronted with what he did. He hates negative emotions and tells Christian that Dani is abusive simply because she wanted emotional support. Mark comes across as a jokester and is often seen making lighthearted remarks. He is quite impulsive and tends to just do what he wants in the moment. Mark wants to have fun and comes across like he went to Sweden just so he could pick up girls (e.g. remarking about how beautiful the women are). He gives a similar suggestion to Christian and believes he needs to meet a girl who is more fun than Dani. I gave Mark a wing 8 as I feel he doesn’t shy away from conflict.

Pelle - 6w7

Pelle is loyal, attentive and supportive. In almost direct contrast to Christian, Pelle comes across like he genuinely cares about Dani as a person, for example he remembers her birthday when Christian forgets. He listens to her and supports her when she’s sad without making her feel like a burden. While it seems like Pelle befriended Christian’s group with the intention of bringing them to Sweden as sacrifices, he seems like he really cares about Dani. I think one of Pelle’s most telling character moments is the part where he talks to Dani and empathises with the loss of her parents. He asks her about whether she feels held and ‘like home’ with Christian which I believe shows insight as to how he believes relationships should be. Furthermore, I think that Pelle feels like he is at home with the commune and it gives him a place to belong. 6s often find themselves looking for a belief system or something that they can follow which makes them feel safe. The commune is all he has ever known and they are his family, so of course he is loyal to them. Pelle simply wants to feel like he is a part of something. I gave him a wing 7 as he is quite emotionally expressive and is quite concerned with his relationships with others.

[whatwouldmarinado]

this is me trying (and maybe I don't quite know what to say)

Loving Abby was the easy part.

---

A little reflection on Harper's attitudes during the movie.

Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27735505

Loving Abby was the easy part.

Of course being away from her parents in Pittsburgh, having the opportunity of being a proud out lesbian, walking hand in hand with another woman, kissing, making out even, it was easy too. But being with Abby… there was no comparison.

You met her at a party of mutual friends, on a night where you decided to come out just because Sloane was flashing again on Instagram her picture perfect family. And you knew you could never give your parents that; even if you got married and had kids, it would not be with a man, it wouldn’t be enough, and okay, now it was time for a drink. You called your friend asking for the address and the next thing you knew…

Abby.

She was nice and she was funny and so awkward at times that you couldn't help but want to kiss her. But you didn't do that, not on the first meeting. Not even on the first date. You wanted her to like you, not just be attracted to you, even though you were very attracted to her and was eager to know what her lips tasted like. Probably sweet, just like her.

At the end of your third date, you took her home and led her to her door, even though you didn't want to go back to your Abby-less apartment. You looked at her, with her back to her building door. Her green eyes sparkled in the moonlight. You wanted to say something to prolong your time with her, but the words didn't come to mind. She was also looking at you, more specifically at your mouth. And you thought at that moment that it would be just the easiest thing to kiss her.

So you did. And it was just as sweet as you imagined it, but also tender, and soft, and hot, and you wanted more. In the end, you didn't come back to your apartment that night.

Unlike your first kiss, it didn't take long for you to ask her to be your girlfriend. In fact, you did it on the same day you first kissed her, and for some people that may seem quite impulsive, but you knew it was not. You just felt then and there that you loved her, and that was it.

She was the first one to say I love you, a month after. It came as a surprise to you, because, even though it was very easy for you - to date her, to be with her, to love her -, you had never considered the idea that she might feel the same way. You hoped you could be for her what she was for you, even though you knew that there were things hanging that you couldn't bring yourself to resolve.

Your family.

They didn't know easy and simple and love just for love. And you didn't know at which point you resolved to separate yourself completely from them to be the person you knew you were, but since college you don't remember being actually sincere with them. Because you couldn't talk about how much you missed Riley, how Connor was nice but not for you, so then what was the point? You just talked about your classes and internships, and now you talked about your job.

So they didn't know about Abby. Big deal.

Because somehow you knew that, besides the girl part, there was also the sense of love you never got from your parents and certainly not from your big sister, the kind of love that wasn't conditional, the kind of love that Abby gave you. Joining these two worlds would certainly complicate things and clash very different ideals. So you just avoided it.

Abby moved in with your after six months of relationship. Her toothbrush was besides your toothbrush, her clothes on the closet, and you woke up everyday with her besides you, her arm above your stomach, her chest to you back, her being the big spoon despite you being the taller one. You just fit like that. Easily.

Not to say you didn't have your desagrements and even fights, because you did. Abby was sometimes too focused on her PhD to do the dishes and you had a habit of forgetting your towel above the bed. But it was never serious and you never went to sleep angry, because in the end everything was superfluous compared to the love you two had.

You always had on the back of your mind that it wouldn't last. You had too much of your traumas in you to just spend your life without them affecting you. But when you spiraled thinking about that, you said to yourself, "not yet". It had not happened yet, you had not burdened Abby with anything yet. You would deal with that when the time came. And who knows? Maybe everything would be okay.

But it happened sooner than you thought. On an impulse you asked Abby to come home with you for Christmas, because she just looked so beautiful on that snowy night after an adrenaline rush and you couldn't help yourself. And she said yes so soon, and she kissed you with such love, and the next morning you tried to dissuade her but she was so excited, and being with her was so easy and it made you so happy that sometimes you forgot yourself. And your family. Your dad.

You knew it would break her and you did it anyway. You told her about still being in the closet a few miles from your parents house, so she didn't have time to prepare - as well as one could prepare themselves for such a thing. You didn’t do enough to help her.

And that was the problem, wasn’t it? At the end of the day, you didn't do much of anything. You didn't make your parents acknowledge her as more than a casual friend. You didn't convince your mom to let Abby stay in your room with you. You didn't reject Connor right away, you didn't even talk with Riley in the way she deserved, you didn't stop Sloane from getting inside your head.

So yes, if you were to lose Abby… you deserved it. Because she was right, you were hiding her. Even if that was part of the hiding yourself part, she was involved in that. You were so caught up in your feelings of shame that you didn't consider hers. Your love for her was so obvious to yourself that you never thought that she would doubt it. And now you would be without her and it was entirely your fault.

So you would try one last time, even if it came to nothing. You had to try, to compensate for all the other times you didn’t. Because it was Abby, it was her, and her laugh and her smile and her eyes, and her piled up dishes and her all-nighters writing her thesis, and if it was not her it would not, could not, be anyone else.

So you would try. And this time it would certainly not be easy. But you had to do it. And hope for the best.

And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound

It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you

You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

And I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

(And maybe I don't quite know what to say)

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

At least I'm trying

[fandom-necromancer]

Questions for you (if you're ok answering): what is your favorite fic that you've written and what is your favorite that you've read of somebody else's

Okay, first of all: I love getting questions! I just tend to overshare so I hope that’s okay XD That’s a hard one, though. For one because I have a shit memory, but also because there are so many and I can’t decide. So, this will likely get long and I’ll put it under the cut not to disturb people that aren’t interested!

Shorts

My favourite one I wrote lately was likely the Cyberpunk AU for the Secret Santa? Because I could write whatever I wanted really and it was the first one in a long, long time that I sat down, had no idea what to write, began writing, was sucked in and a few hours later I was sitting there with a story that I absolutely loved. And that has become such a rare occasion lately because nothing is really fun anymore because Corona keeps me in a constant down phase? Idk. That was cool.

Also, the “A little distraction” series was fun! It’s an old story from last year and when I reuploaded that one, I was blown away how many people wanted more of that. As this had been planned for a longer story initially I had to condense into a short, it made me happy too, because people would have liked to read the longer version too, maybe? If I had ever written it? It was just really cool.

The Halloween short with Gavin being an eldritch shadow monster most people overlook completely was fun also because of the same reason as the Cyberpunk AU. I got lost in that one so hard. Really fun to write.

My all-time favourite short story  though is likely the pebble series. It started as a joke in my head but when I sat down to write it, it just felt natural. I kinda really projected on Nines in there and I think I like his personality there the most from all the fics I’ve written about him. They are both just really cute in there.

You can also look for the top ten stories in my opinion from last year’s anniversary if you search my blog in the tag #One Year of Stories and I think the real tag was something like #Last year revisited? I’m not sure though because tumblr and searching blog tags is horrible, hence the archive project XD. Should be around June 2020.

Big stories

I would say A Soldiers Purpose, but that doesn’t count as it isn’t a fic anymore while I rewrite it to be an original Story. Plan to publish that as a “real world” book in German and English hard copy as well as eBook and it should be international publishing? I’m not that sure as I’m still comparing self-publishers and some only serve Germany, US and Australia whats weird but okay. Although I believe with ISBN it should be available almost everywhere just not in stores? I always planned to have it ready before I finished my bachelor thesis but we will see if that is happening (I guess not but I will try). 

The Werewolf AU, definitely. It started as a vent fic to get me out of a really bad place (I guess anyone who read Somebody to die for knows it’s pretty dark) and I mean I’m here now and while I’m not happy I’m definitely happier than when I wrote it so... win? But now that I’m writing Wolfheart I really want to give them a happy ending and hopefully once that story ends the whole personal reason I started writing it ends too, so yeah. Maybe a really personal reason but I’m really invested in that story.

My favourite fic I have ever, ever written though will be one you never get to read (thankfully, hopefully). It’s super old, it’s German, it’s uploaded on a different platform I hope no one of you knows, it’s under yet another name of mine and it’s absolutely objectively bad. The writing is bad, the plot is okayish and I literally killed off the gay characters without noticing that as something bad because I was a very different person back then. But I love it to this day regardless because it got me through some hard times.

Also, as a last comment to my own stories I love my longer stories on AO3 far more than these shorts. Not because they are more fun to write or anything but because I feel like I put a lot of effort into them and put a lot of soul into the stories. But yeah, that’s to that.

Other’s works

My favourite fics I read are so, so damn many… I generally write more than I read but with the amount I write I guess it cancels it out. Also some are pretty old because I mostly read fanfic on the bus and now I haven’t really left the house for a year. I’ll try to keep it short. They are not in any particular order I just went through a few sites of my history. Really I just enjoy everything reverseAU, SoulmateAU, Mute!Nines and them all being softies. Also just the dbh stuff because I’m not sure you would be interested in other fandoms.

Accident by sv926 Soulmate AU, I really dig how the personality of Nines and Gavin are displayed and that it isn’t a “We are soulmates all is perfect now” storyline (although I like that too). Amazing.

Traitor by Skye_Willows, Stujet9rainshine If hurt/comfort was a fic. MedieavalAU. I really love the portrayal of manipulation and how Nines tries to save Gavin from it all. Also Nines is a painter so I’m in.

Soft Spot by Headfulloffantasy A story I really regret not reading earlier. Casefic with amazing characterisation and a plot that leaves you on the edge. Every time you think you got an overview of what happened or an idea of how it continues there is another facette revealed that you just didn’t expect. Can’t wait to read the next chapter.

XVIII by Sandara Cuteness overload but also prepare for the feels. It’s an ReverseAU that is set during the game events. It’s so damn well written I just love it.

Feral Nines by Kaini Nines whump. Kinda. I love it so much. Broken Nines is my weakness and also Mute!Nines. You get a lot of feelings reading this.

all the lonely nights in your life by  willgrahamssadness SoulmateAU that hurts but picks you up and shows you all the fluff in the end. I love it.

Safe and sound by a_calipygian Soft Reed900. With a lot of hurt/comfort. Lovely story about healing and found family. 

The Lion Tamer by celexdraw Equally cute as their drawings. CircusAU I didn’t know I needed but it is so well done. It is a happy story but has enough darkness to make me miss my busstop.

Despite it All by Jennilah Another SoulmateAU I absolutely love. Also has Hannor content I think but I didnt get to read that part yet.

Scrapyard Rookie by Pence Reverse AU that caught my heart. Really cute but with a little bastard GV if I remember correctly.

Sleeves by BloodthirstyMerc More Mute!Nines talking about Gavin’s past self harm. Super cute and comforting and aaaaa.

These Violent Delights by MechanicalBones Will absolutely destroy you. Is amazing and everything I ever wanted. Can recommend to those who too enjoy holding back tears on the bus.

Static Truth and Hunter Hunter Hunted by whatsanapocalae Both are super cute, super angsty and so, so comforting. The author has a really nice writing style too. Got to these fics because i wrote their Deus Ex stuff and discovered they write dbh too.

Rewind the Film by connorssock,Sylvestia Allen60. You will cry. And you will like it. I’m happy it was like 11pm on a bus  no one uses coming home from uni when I came to the part that hits you right in the feels. You have to read it.

Heavy In Your Arms by CatiDono More ReverseAU with Gavin whump. It’s also kinda a reset story. I usually don’t like these, but it starts after the reset so we never get to see the Gavin from before, just the onset of “I used to be a person before and there is someone loving me and grieving but I don’t know them but they are nice what do I do?” I really enjoyed this, although it’s kinda a heavy thing to read.

A mute Gavin one I can’t remember who or where it was from. I think it was on tumblr and timewise before the cornpocalypse but I’m not sure. Could be from connorssock? definitely on tumblr and Gavin lost his voice due to injury. I will try to find that again.

Also one from tumblr I can’t remember the name of, but it was homeless Gavin with Nines helping him. I think that one was from dumb-ways-to-deviate?

I could go on, but I already told far to much when you asked for like... 2 stories? I’m just excited to talk about stories XD

[jimtheviking]

So now that it's been a while since the ST ended, I'm gonna talk about why, of all three movies, the only one that worked for me was TLJ, and why The Mandalorian, Rogue One, Rebels, and Clone Wars are the best bit of New EU out there.

Okay so, first off, the basic thesis of this is that, when Star Wars works, has always been a story about one thing, and one thing only: Hope. And when it hasn't worked, it's been about how Cool and Badass and Edgy and Dark things can be in the Galaxy Far, Far Away.

So, let's start with the beginning, shall we?

The Force Awakens is a bad remake of A New Hope. And I don't say that just because JJ Abrams can't write or direct for shit (he can't, btw, but I'll get into that later.) I say that because, well, it's true. It's almost a shot-for-shot remake of ANH, except that unlike ANH, there is no sense of hope in the entire movie. Rey, Finn, and Poe are thrown into a Terrible Situation and they never once have any display of fear or doubt. They're confident and plucky and ready to win the day. At every point, even their lowest, they're plucky and scrappy and fighty and are never allowed to feel anything. And that means they can't hope for better things, they can't fight for a better world, because to their characters the better world is already there. It's the world they're in, because they can get what they want through Pluck and Scrappiness and Fighting Spirit, and never have to worry that it won't be enough.

Don't get me wrong, TFA is, of the two JJ films, better by a mile. Mostly because it has a coherent plotline. But it's still not good. Even when Han is killed, there is no chance to mourn him. There is no "I just can't believe he's gone" moment. There's a duel and a celebration. Leia feels his death and that could have been interesting to explore, but nothing gets done with Rey or Finn. Rey attaches to Han as a father figure, but it was Finn whose character was hamstrung most by Han's death. Finn should have been mentored in the ways of Roguish War Heroing by Han, just as Luke would mentor Rey in Jedi-ing, and Leia mentored Poe in Leader-ing. That is how the new Trio was shaping up to relate to the Original Trio, and should have gone that way. But no, JJ had to kill Han off for absolutely no purpose.

And there was no purpose to Han's death. I will get to that in a minute.

When Obi-Wan died, he died knowing he was buying the Trio time and that his sacrifice would help the Rebellion destroy the Death Star and ultimately prevent future Alderaans from ever happening again (and it did!) Obi-Wan dies in A New Hope because he knows that, like Leia said, he was her only hope. The only hope for the Rebellion. For the Galaxy. And, right after Scarif, he was the only hope she had. But now? On the Death Star? Surrounded by Storm Troopers, facing down his old padawan, his brother, his best friend? Now there is A New Hope (see what they did there?) and it's in Luke and Han and Leia and he doesn't die in vain. He sacrifices himself and that lets hope live on.

When Han died, it was, thematically, the exact opposite of Obi-Wan's death. Because Han wasn't expecting to die. Han's whole walking to meet Ben thing was him expressing hope - hope that his son would return to him, that there was good left in him - and then he was killed. Hope gets you killed in this movie, and it doesn't help anyone do anything. It doesn't save uncounted billions. It doesn't stop an evil Empire from terrorising the Galaxy. It doesn't inspire other people. It just gets you a lightsaber to the belly and kicked into an abyss. Han's death served no purpose except to show that Ben was evil. As if massacring untold hundreds of civilians to find the location of Luke wasn't indication enough. We knew Ben was evil. It was the entire point of the character. Killing Han was just to reinforce that hope is foolish.

Luke, as well, was terribly served in TFA. Luke Skywalker, who triumphed over evil despite hovering so close to the edge of it time and again, who does the right thing all the time, who every chance he gets tries to help and save people? That Luke Skywalker? He just fucked off to who knows where. Gone. Entirely. No explanation. Luke, who constantly failed in his Jedi training, but never gave up hope that he could become a Jedi, like his father before him. Luke, who knew he wasn't ready to confront Vader on Bespin but hoped he could get there soon enough to save his friends. Luke, who knew that there was no way he would be leaving Jabba's palace without a fight but still had hope that the Hutt could be negotiated with. He just...gives up. No explanation or reason given. Just...goes.

And that is the most wildly, painfully out of character moment in the entire ST for me. Because Luke was always Hope in the OT, and in the Filoni shows, and having him become Hopeless and leave? An absolute affront to the character.

But I digress.

I won't get into what TLJ did right (almost everything re: Luke, Rey, Leia, and Poe, and that throne room fight especially) and wrong (the handling of Finn, Space Monaco) but suffice it to say that TLJ at least understood that Hope was what made Star Wars good. Because Luke's sacrifice at the end of it was done just like Obi-Wan's. Luke did what he did, knowing he would die, but also knowing that it would buy time for Leia to escape. So long as Rey could get to her in time. He had Hope in Rey, and he had Hope in his own actions, and that Hope was rewarded. Luke dies, and dies a hero, dies giving Hope to the Resistance, dies a meaningful death for a hero to die.

And then we get to TRoS.

Oh god TRoS.

So, you know how I said JJ can't write or direct for shit? Here's a great example. Because we had Rey, a Jedi now like Luke had been, and ready to discover what being a Jedi means to her, and how she fits in the wider, larger Galaxy as a nobody, as a regular person who somehow became Greater than she started. As someone who isn't from a line of Force Users or other Super Special People becoming a hero and finding her place. Rey, who began her story on a desert planet, hoping desperately to be a part of some bigger dynasty, not having any confidence in herself being Rey from Nowhere, finds out she IS Rey from Nowhere, Daughter of Nobody, but becomes a Jedi, a Protector of the Galaxy, an important person in her own right, the Saviour of the Resistance. And then we find out she's the granddaughter of one of the most powerful Force users ever. And she makes herself a part of the Super Special Force User Dynasty. Completely destroying any character growth from the previous movie, because it's no longer Rey succeeding on her own, it's Rey being a Dynastic Heir.

Rey begins on a desert planet, digging things out of the sand, and ends on a desert planet, burying things in the sand. Rey begins not knowing who she really is and desperately wanting to, and ends up finding out, rejecting it, and claiming some other random legacy. Rey is no longer Rey from Jakku, she's Rey Palpatine and she wants to be Rey Skywalker so she just...claims it. There was a chance for Rey to be a beacon of Hope for other people who aren't from Force user lineages. But no, she's the child of a clone of the Emperor and decides she's a Skywalker because of an unexplained phenomenon that linked her to Ben. So without the Super Special Lineage, what hope does anyone have of changing the world for the better? None.

And, back to character deaths, Leia and Ben dying were two of the most hopeless scenes in all Star Wars. Entirely without hope. Utterly.

Why?

Well, let's start with Leia. Apparently, in the novelizations, she'd been forcing herself to stay alive to run the Resistance because no-one else could (despite like, a massive increase in operations staff, and, you know, Poe having been Leia's protogée in her Leadership Crash Course) and had been hearing Luke tell her it's okay to just let go and become one with the Force (what??) And so when she does decide to do that, it's when she transfers her life-force to Ben, to redeem him (maybe? At that point Ben hadn't had his weird Harrison Ford dressed up in Han Solo's costume hallucination, and it's not really clear why she's doing this in the film) and thus have him the Galaxy. Okay, that could work, but then Ben dies. And then dies again. Twice. (Though, really, only once, because apparently he got caught on a rock and broke his ribs and twisted his ankle when he fell in the pit, but you only learn that in the novelization. But I digress.)

So Leia's sacrifice to redeem her son is ultimately futile, because Rey managed to kill Palps on her own anyway, with the help of all the Jedi in the Force, and Ben was mostly dead. Then Rey dies from the exertion of it all, and that would be a shitty enough ending, bleak and hopeless - the only way good triumphs is by destroying itself - but then Ben comes back! And saves Rey using the healing powers Obi-Wan Kenobi used on Luke in A New Hope and Rey used earlier in the movie! Leia's sacrifice was meaningful! It redeemed Ben, who saved someone's life!

And then he dies.

Which makes Leia's death pointless again. Because she used the last of her life force to make her son Good, and then he just...dies.

And Ben's death is Hopeless in and of itself too. I'm not a Reylo fan - that dynamic just does not do it for me, generally, though there are some few well-written execptions - but how do you begin to say "The Power of Love can triumph over everything, even death!" and then kill off the person who did that? Like...that just says that Love and Sacrifice for others is pointless. That Hope is pointless. Because with Ben dying, Leia's sacrifice means nothing, and his own death means nothing because Dying Saving Someone You Love is just Suicide with Extra Steps if there's no Hope of Survival to it. The tragedy happens when a character dies hoping they can still make it back to the person they love. Ben, on the other hand, just...dies. The movie tells us that he's not worth surviving this, but Rey is. And so what, exactly, was the point of either Leia's sacrifice or Hope for her son?

Now let's get to the Filoni shows.

Clone Wars was a tragedy. Clone Wars, from the very beginning, was going to end badly for everyone involved. And it did. But even up to the end, they held out Hope that it wouldn't. And even after it happened, the survivors still Hoped that they could bring a return to Good. Obi-Wan sees literally everyone he loves die in front of him. Whether it's Satine or his fellow Jedi or Anakin, they all die. And yet he continues to Hope that the Light Side will prevail. Ahsoka loses everything and leaves the Order, but she still has Hope that she can make the Galaxy a better place. Rex loses his entire family, but Hopes that there are others out there who, like him, were able to avoid Order 66.

Rebels shows us that Ahsoka and Rex's Hope wasn't misplaced. That there was still a chance for them to do Good and for the Galaxy to resist the Empire. For Rex to find other Clones. For Ahsoka to find a purpose again. The crew of the Ghost hoped that what they would do would bring about a positive change. Kanan sacrificed himself knowing that Ezra, Hera, and Sabine would be able to help the Rebellion. Like Obi-Wan, he knew that he was not the only Hope - that Ezra and Ahsoka and Obi-Wan would continue on the path of the Jedi, even if the latter wouldn't join the Rebels, and that Hera's leadership ability and Sabine's connection to Clan Wren would help the Rebellion in coming battles. He died hoping that there was a greater good being served with his sacrifice, and it wasn't that he wanted to die - him looking back to Hera was all the proof that was needed - but that the survival of Hope was important.

Rogue One is pretty self-explanatory. Rebellions are built on hope. What did they send us? Hope. Always, every time, when it comes to it, Hope for the better is what people sacrifice themselves for. They don't do it because they don't feel like their lives are worth it. They do it because if they didn't, then Hope would die instead. And Hope is what makes life possible.

The Mandalorian keeps up this trend, too. Din was doing his thing, collecting bounties and not caring about anyone or anything but The Way until he meets the Child. And at that point, he feels something, a greater purpose, and when he's given his task by the Armourer, he accepts it. At first, he wants to complete a Quest, but as time goes on, he bonds with the Child and, once he realizes that, everything from that point forward is Din Djarin, the Mandalorian, a faceless and ruthless hunter, hoping that he can make this child's life better in some measurable way. When Din finds a settlement that's in trouble, he could just get what he comes for, but he knows that the people are suffering and you can't ignore that he has the Hope that the Galaxy will, one day, be a better place, and he can make it a bit better by doing what he does. So he does it. And keeps doing it. Because the people are hoping for salvation and, even if he's not what they want, he can at least fake it well enough that they don't realize it.

So yeah.

Hope is what good Star Wars media is about. It's what it's always been about. And when it's ignored, we get TFA and TRoS.

[pergimelaut]

Books I read in 2020.

I was once platonically attracted to a friend. Not only did he tell me the name of the person he liked (not me, of course), but also the reasons why. I could’ve mentioned two or three, but one reason sank me in was, “Because she likes to learn.” He didn’t say that to offend me since that night was one of those meetings in which he is the spotlight of our conversations, yet I couldn’t help but feel offended. I thought, “That certainly can’t be me. I don’t like to learn.” I never did, actually.

It was a wake up call that, all this time, I had been stuck in the peak of Mountain Stupid, one of the stages of Dunning-Kruger effect—a phase where you were filled with nothing but arrogance and overconfidence, before the realization “you didn’t know anything at all” hit you like a bucket of cold water.

Well I didn’t change myself after that, though. But in my defense, I decided to read 70-something books in the third year of my student press organization’s membership (which I later failed) long before I had had the conversation with him. I had had my own reason at first, but whatever it was, it was slowly but surely shifted with an ultimate goal created due to that very night, “I want to like to learn.”

Long story short, I was able to read 33 books in 2020.

It’s nowhere near an achievement to be proud of, so I cancelled my plan to write about it and upload it on a platform where I could gain a higher chance he would read it. I know, I know, I shouldn’t seek validation from another person besides myself—after all 33 books were quite impressive for someone like me who don’t really like books, so I shouldn’t be embarrassed about it nor should I be disappointed with the fact that the plan must be cancelled as I was miserably failing, but, welp, so. Okay. In this post, I would like to tell you the books I read in 2020, sort by chronological order.

Yeah, I uploaded it on my personal blog instead, what a dramatic turn of events.

Manifesto Flora was the first book I read, finished it on 2 January 2020. I believe I started to read it on the last couple days of 2019, so it was kinda cheating. It’s a compilation of short stories. All of them were amazing but there was a short story that I really enjoyed titled “Bekas Teman Baikku”. The author had written a short story for a yearly student magazine organized by a student press organization I later joined.

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez was an amazing novel it earned 5 stars on my Goodreads account. My teacher had been telling us about it as he taught magical realism in Creative Writing class. I finished it in three days—I remember those days where I didn’t do anything besides reading; I woke up in the morning and started to read. That was the only thing I did all day. It almost felt like reading was my hobby. (Spoiler alert: It’s not.)

Hidup di Luar Tempurung was the third book I read. I wasn’t in the best mood to read at that time, but I pushed myself, ended up finishing it but also regretting it since I knew that this book deserved to be treated well. After that I read Bagaimana Tuhan Menciptakan Cahaya by Raka Ibrahim and O: Tentang Seekor Monyet yang Ingin Menikah dengan Kaisar Dangdut by Eka Kurniawan, ended up disliking both by simply because I didn’t enjoy them, I gave them 2 stars. 

Then, well. Global pandemic left me shell-shocked as everyone else, really.

One month nearly passed but thankfully I managed to finish the first e-book titled Filosofi Teras by the end of March. I liked the book at first, even for a short period of time I felt like I could rely on the book as I was trying to cope with anxiety, but turned out it’s a false hope since I simply couldn’t become that rational LOL. But topics about stoicism still got my attention though—perhaps it’d remain as something I could admire. Pulang by Leila S. Chudori was a really good book, another one with 5 stars. Later I learned that having 1965-ish as a setting for novels is mainstream, but since I hadn’t known that, it left me in awe.

Then I got tired.

I wasn’t in the mood to read any books, so I turned into Japanese books—my admittedly guilty pleasure. I read Naruto Secret Chronicles: Shikamaru’s Story: A Cloud Drifting in Silent Darkness, a light novel from Naruto based on Shikamaru’s perspective. Although I wouldn’t mention it as one of the books I read in 2020, it was surprisingly a good book. It taught me about Naruto’s universe beyond what I knew, such as politics and government involved. It helped set the mood, so I continued with Ichigo Doumei, another Japanese novel. It was a book mentioned in Your Lie in April, one of my anime recommendations. It’s a good, simple wholesome story that taught us to treasure the life we had. I disliked the female lead character, though—I still do.

I read Kubah by Ahmad Tohari, a novel my teacher once mentioned, which I dislike, and much hate later on, since it gave people wrong assumptions about PKI and what’s surrounding the 1965 tragedy. After that I fell into Kagerou Daze fandom where I spent a lot amount of time consuming the songs, manga, anime, and also light novels—making me successfully adding Kagerou Daze Vol. 3: The Children Reason, Kagerou Daze Vol. 4: The Missing Children, and Kagerou Daze Vol. 5: The Deceiving to my Goodreads’ bookshelf. The latter was my favourite among them. As I hyped with Japanese authors, I thought it was best to finish Before the Coffee Gets Cold, a Japanese novel I found from a post about, well, Japanese novel recommendations. It’s a fun experience; an enjoyable story with a heart-warming ending.

Four Japanese novels in a row brought me to cursed loop as I realized I had not “learned” enough. Whereas I did learn something with each Japanese novel I read, it wasn’t “learning” that I’d planned in the first place. 

August was a month where I thought, “Eh, maybe I like books,” because I read 8 books in one month. I read Setan van Oyot by Djokolelono, a book published by Marjin Kiri. The novel was well-constructed from the start to the middle part, but unfortunately NOT until the end. Another note: it didn’t bother giving us the translation of both the local and foreign languages used in the story, which is good! I also had the energy to consume Of Mice and Men, a classic book mentioned in Pulang. 

I had spent days in library and bookstore when I finished Hidup Begitu Indah dan Hanya Itu yang Kita Punya—it made me aspire to achieve the ability to write articles like Dea Anugerah, the author. I also read Ketakberhinggaan di Telapak Tangannya by Gioconda Belli which easily became one of my favourite books of the year.

I read The Heart is A Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers, another book with a writing style I would aspire to achieve. It’s a good social-realism novel covering racism towards black people, the life of a curious little girl, a perspective from a blind-deaf man, and the socialist guy—everything was set around the 1930s, written by a brilliant 23-year-old woman. It has some translation issues, unfortunately. Then I continued with Kekerasan Budaya Pasca 1965: Bagaimana Orde Baru Melegitimasi Anti-Komunisme Melalui Sastra dan Film. I’ve been wanting to be able to convey my thoughts in a well-constructed thesis like what the book did.

Tango & Sadimin by Ramayda Akmal was the next, and it was enjoyable even though not satisfying—at least it helped me discover my tendency towards social-realism novels. Then I read Xenoglosofilia: Kenapa Harus Nginggris? by Ivan Lanin—it didn’t help me that much despite its educational contents, but perhaps I just didn’t find what I was looking for.

September was a shameful month as I didn’t read any books AT ALL. I planned to read at least one book per month, that’s why I set 12 books in my Goodreads. My goal wasn’t to read books, but to like them, so what I set up was simply the habit. Looking back at what I did—finishing One Hundred Years of Solitude—I could read book all day if I want to. But I want to become someone who, even if for a few pages, read books every day. And I considered myself failing when September passed without any finished books added to the list.

November came and I read El hablador by Mario Vargas Llosa, a book I had been desperately looking for that my friend finally lent to me. I gave them 5 stars because it greatly helped me in understanding indigenous people and how important it is to support their rights.

Then I desperately turned back to another Japanese novel, this time The Kudravka Sequence by Honobu Yonezawa. It successfully made me fall in love with one specific character because I feel represented, then I looked up Wikia and the synopsis of the next novels, and ended up disappointed LOL. I got tired again and read Sebuah Pertanyaan untuk Cinta by Seno Gumira Ajidarma, a book which I couldn’t believe had written by the Seno Gumira Ajidarma LOL(2). Then in order to set up the mood, I bought my friend’s self-published short stories, Dongeng Sebelum Tidur: Kumpulan Cerita Pendek. It was the first time I added a book to Goodreads. I told her that I uploaded a review and gave her 5 stars. She was really happy and I too was happy because of it.

December approached as well as final exams. So many papers with short deadlines, and despite that, I read books instead on working with my papers—procrastinator as its finest, you see. I read two Agatha Christie’s books, The ABC Murders and Five Little Pigs, two novels I had really wanted to read in years. After exams passed, I somehow gained my energy back. I read Kisah Seekor Camar dan Kucing yang Mengajarinya Terbang by Luis Sepulveda, an enjoyable novella reminding us to take care of animals and protecting the environment from pollution. I wrapped up 2020 with two classic books, No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai and Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell.

 Yup, that’s it!

Now that I’ve just tracked back all the books I read, I realize that my reading experience has its ups and downs. I ain’t good at keeping my mood stable to do the same activities  for a long period of time, and I earned the energy back by—apparently—switching into Japanese novels or light-themed books.

Long story cut short, I failed to read 70-something books. But I also recovered from the heartbreak I guess (LOL), and that’s good news! (Although maybe I forced myself to move on, since the goal was the indicator whether I’m worth it or not, and I failed.) (I shouldn’t have done that to myself, but I had no chance at all in the first place, though. That’s why if I could move on by setting an impossible goal, failed in the process, and helplessly gave up, so be it!)

Thank you for reading.

(And thanks to Anggy who beta read the post! <3)

[annecoulmanross]

Bridgens/Peglar Egyptology AU

(for the @theterrorbingo square “modern AU” | word count: 1k fic + 1.5k AU details | rating: T | warnings: mild spooky; talk of mummies; description of a panic attack)

The Terrors are all members of the Classics (Greek & Roman Studies) department. The Erebites are all members of the Egyptology department. These two departments share the beautiful Barrow Hall building on the campus of their university, but they do NOT get along….

….until Henry Peglar, a first-year graduate student in Classics, decides that he wants to learn how to read Egyptian hieroglyphs. 

(Drabbles and AU info below the cut!) 

It turns out that most students who want to study hieroglyphs have already finished the introductory course, however, because Henry ends up in a tiny winter-term class with only two other students. The three “hieroglyph 101s” all show up a bit early to their first day of class, fumbling into a dimly-lit classroom in the basement of Barrow Hall, across from the archaeological store-rooms.

They exchange quick introductions while waiting for the instructor to arrive. Both of Henry’s classmates are undergraduate Egyptology majors: Tom Hartnell is a bright young freshman with a passion for Egyptian mummies (and, admittedly, a slightly spotty undergraduate record), and Henry Collins is a terribly anxious junior who recently switched majors from Engineering (“Please call me Collins,” he says, after Henry begins to comment that they share a name. “Everyone else already calls me Collins.”)

The moment of revelation for Henry Peglar, though, is when he first sets eyes on their instructor: a senior graduate student named John Bridgens, who walks in just a minute after the hour, with a thermos of what smells like mint tea.

John Bridgens looks almost mournful for a moment, his dark eyes soulful, a thick pea-coat sitting heavy on his shoulders (which he quickly shrugs off; it may be a chilly January outside, but Barrow Hall is toasty and warm). When John looks over to his students, though, he smiles, and his face is transformed: Henry feels like the sun has suddenly come out from behind the blustery clouds.

Henry quickly realizes that learning Egyptian won’t be like learning Greek or Latin, but fortunately John is a very good teacher. Even though John holds office hours at an ungodly hour of the morning, Henry shows up to every office hour with a bright smile and a long list of questions.

What Henry doesn’t yet know is that he’s in for the most exciting semester of his life…

(Featuring such hijinks as: John and his students Henry, Tom, and Collins get locked into the archaeological store-room with the mummies, in the dark! Henry and Tom Hartnell uncover a secret that could overturn the Egyptology department! Henry develops an unfortunate crush on his instructor! What could go wrong!)

+ 

“We’re Trapped in Here, Aren’t We?” (Bonus Drabble)

The four of them have now been locked in the basement, in the dark, for over an hour.

Collins is quietly freaking out, sitting on a storage crate in the corner of the main room of the museum storage space. Henry watches Tom Hartnell deftly trying to help Collins regulate his breathing to a pace approaching normal, with some success; Henry decides not to intervene.

“We’re trapped in here, aren’t we?” Collins asks. He doesn’t sound panicked anymore, just stressed; it’s an improvement.

Tom rubs Collins’s shoulder reassuringly, and says, “I don’t know for certain, but I’m not going to let it worry me – we’re going to be okay, alright?” Tom then turns to Henry Peglar and tilts his head, adding: “Eddie Hoar told me that there used to be a secret passage that ran between Barrow Hall and the library, and that the door opened up somewhere here in the storage-rooms. Maybe we can find it?”

Henry nods, flashes a grin that feels fake but must seem genuine in the low light of the storage-rooms’ emergency lighting, because Tom smiles back at him. “I’ll go check on John,” Henry says. “See if he doesn’t know anything about a tunnel.”

Slipping in between the shelves of Greek ceramics, Henry winds his way toward the back workroom where he left John Bridgens, who had been convinced that there must be an extra key somewhere in the workroom desk drawers.

Henry is so caught up in thoughts of tunnels that fails to notice the packing box sitting next to the shelves and he manages to trip right over it. He takes the fall hard, feeling the chilly linoleum under his now-aching arm, his eyes squeezed shut against the pain. When he opens his eyes, though, Henry feels a bolt of fear run though him – for a moment he thinks he’s gone blind, because he sees nothing but darkness. A moment later, the ancient emergency lights flicker back on, and that’s worse because Henry is face-to-face with the mummy.

Henry had forgotten that she was stored here, under the shelves of Egyptian faience. He distantly remembers Dr. Blanky pointing out “the Egyptian girl, our princess,” in her lovely painted coffin, on a tour through the storage rooms last year when he had been a prospective student – but the fact that she was down here (trapped with us, his mind whispers) had escaped his mind.

Shuddering, Henry pushes himself up from the cold floor and backs up against the wall as the lights keep flickering. He knows, he knows, that there’s nothing to fear here, but the sight of the girl’s skin, drawn tight against her skin, her eerie grimace, had shaken him.

“Henry?”

Henry jumps about a foot in the air, but it’s just John, peering out from the workroom door.

“Henry, are you okay?” John continues, his brow furrowed with worry.

Henry swallows. “Yup, yeah, just took a tumble.” He straightens up, tries to collect himself. “Did you find an extra key?” he asks John.

But John isn’t so easily dissuaded. “Are you sure you’re alright?” He steps up next to Henry, a hand hovering over the arm that Henry’s cradling to his chest (Henry’s certain it isn’t broken, but he knows it’ll be bruised a bit).

Henry looks up into John’s eyes and exhales softly to see the loving concern written there. John’s so close now, lifting a hand toward Henry’s cheek, and Henry wants this, wants to reach out and embrace; he finally feels his limbs stop shaking now that John’s here, even as his heart races and his face tilts up…

…. and that’s the moment when the emergency lights finally flicker their last, and the corridor goes dark as a tomb.

+

Some Background on the Humanities Departments of Barrow Hall

The Department of Classics

The Classics program at Barrow Hall is small but powerful. Most of the faculty get along well with each other, professionally, although they don’t socialize much. There aren’t many graduate students in the program, but most of the grad students they do have are quite active on the university campus.

Classics Faculty

Dr. Crozier is the department chair of the Classics program. He teaches early Roman history, with a focus on land surveying, and he takes a very scientific approach to his material.

Dr. Little is an associate professor who teaches Greek military history and gets very excited about ancient weapons. (“Like the shot that killed Leonidas at Thermopylae!”)

Dr. Hodgson is an associate professor who teaches Greek drama; he’s particularly obsessed with the tragedies of Euripides – the more ritualistic violence the better.

Dr. Irving is an assistant professor who teaches later Roman history, and can turn any conversation into a debate about the early history of Christianity. His most recent book was titled “Coming Out Christian in the Roman World: How the Followers of Jesus Made a Place in Caesar's Empire.” * Despite Irving’s own Christian faith and his social justice outreach work with the campus Queer Interfaith club, Irving’s a bit of a chronological traditionalist when it comes to academic research, and tends to dismiss any literature written after Augustine.

Drs. Peddie and MacDonald are actually part of the History Department, but because they teach Medieval Latin, they’re considered honorary members of the classics faculty. (MacDonald teaches a wildly popular undergraduate seminar – cross-listed with Classics and History – called “Witches, Ghosts, and Potions: Medical Mysteries in Medieval Europe.”)

Dr. Blanky is the exception to the “we hate the Egyptologists” rule – Thomas gets along quite well with a certain Dr. Reid, both of whom have a passion for film studies, and together they’ve organized a weekly historical film series for the undergrads. Dr. Reid’s top picks are old-school classics like Cleopatra (1963) and Julius Caesar (1953); Blanky, on the other hand, is partial to Gladiator (2000). He’s also the exception to the “this department doesn’t socialize rule,” being, himself, a long-time best friend of department chair Dr. Crozier.

Classics Grad Students

Thomas Jopson is an older graduate student – he’s just a breath away from receiving his PhD: Dr. Crozier, who has been supervising his thesis on the systems of enslavement in the Roman Republic and the lived experiences of Roman slaves, is extremely proud of Thomas’s sensitive eye for historical evidence. Thomas also works for the campus mental health office, leading a therapy group for adult children of those suffering from addiction.

Billie Gibson, another grad student, is part-way through writing his dissertation on the reception of Greek ideas about homosexuality in the Victorian period, under the supervision of a confused but supportive Dr. Irving. (“Isn’t this more of a History department topic?”)

“Hickey” started the PhD program at the same time as Billie, and he’s begun writing his thesis on cannibalistic imagery in Greek poetry with Dr. Hodgson. Everyone just calls him Hickey, and Henry Peglar hasn’t been able to figure out his full name (or whether “Hickey” is a first name or a last name, or even whether “Hickey” is part of his real name at all) because no one ever updates the Classics department website. Hickey is part of a student organization called the Dionysians, but they’re not listed on the university’s roster of sanctioned clubs, and no one seems to know what it is that they do, exactly.

Henry Peglar is the newest member of the department, a first-year grad student. He’s planning on studying depictions of ancient history in modern fiction, hopefully with Dr. Blanky, who also happens to be his first-year advisor.

The Department of Egyptology

The Egyptology program at Barrow Hall has been having some hiring problems in recent years. Not only did several older professors retire, but the young Dr. Gore decided to move into museum-work full-time and Dr. Fairholme was ‘poached’ by the rival Egyptology program at another university. As a result, the Department of Egyptology has been under-staffed, with too many grad students and too few professors, resulting in two controversial recent faculty hires.

Egyptology Faculty

Dr. John is the department chair of the Egyptology program. He teaches ancient Egyptian literature and has a rather old-fashioned perspective on middle Egyptian grammar.

Dr. Reid teaches courses on the history of archaeological discoveries in Egypt, and the culture of artifact (mis-)handling by European excavators. He’s friendly with Dr. Blanky in the Classics program, and he lovingly crafts discussion questions for the film-showings that he and Blanky run. (He’ll never admit it, but he secretly loves the 1999 Mummy movie.)

Dr. Stanley teaches classes on ancient Egyptian medicine. He’s known for his severe grading policies and for his impressive ability to ruin the fun of topic that involves things like magic spells and fever-demons and having sex with crocodiles.

Dr. Fitzjames is one of the two new faculty members, a dashing archaeologist with an impressive résumé of excavation in Egypt – although, as Dr. Crozier has wryly observed, some of his funding sources for those digs haven’t always been completely above-board.

Dr. Le Vesconte is the other new faculty member, an associate professor with an equally flashy history of excavation and publication. Rumor is that he and Dr. Fitzjames once found a live cheetah in an Egyptian tomb and tried to keep it as the excavation’s mascot.

Egyptology Grad Students

Edmund “Eddie” Hoar is a senior doctoral candidate, working dedicatedly on a massive dissertation about Egyptian stamps and seals. He’s been working with Dr. John because his old advisor recently retired, and with Eddie’s advisor gone, Eddie’s pretty much the only person on campus who knows his way around the dusty archaeological collection in the basement of Barrow Hall.

John Bridgens has been with the program about as long as Eddie, but he’s closer to finishing his thesis, a sprawling dissertation on Egyptian poetry under Dr. John’s supervision.

Charles “Freddie” Des Voeux is part-way through writing a thesis on Napoleon’s excavations in Egypt; his advisor is Dr. Reid. (He’s also roommates with Eddie Hoar, and the two of them are known as “(Fr)eddie” in the grad student group chat.)

Harry Goodsir is a first-year PhD student, who entered the program at the same time Henry Peglar started in Classics; the two of them met at the university-wide graduate student orientation, and Harry encouraged Henry to take hieroglyphs, which Harry had learned himself while he was an undergraduate, while volunteering with his siblings at an Egyptian museum in their hometown. Harry’s interested in Egyptian archaeology, hoping to study with Dr. Fitzjames and Dr. Le Vesconte, but there was a paperwork mix-up that placed Dr. Stanley as Harry’s first-year advisor (Harry is unhappy about it; Dr. Stanley is even more unhappy about it).

Members of Associated Departments in Nearby Ross Hall (& Their Drama)

Dr. James C. Ross is the co-chair of the anthropology program and a dear friend of Dr. Crozier in classics. Though he does have a complicated legacy with the university – being a descendent of the famous (if problematic) explorer, Sir John Ross, for whom Ross Hall is named – Dr. James is well-liked by his students and forward-thinking about his discipline.

Ross’s co-chair, Dr. Silna Kamookak, thinks Ross could stand to apply his anthropology to real-world problems a bit more intensively. Dr. Kamookak is a rising star in applied archaeology and she publishes on issues of museum collection ethics and heritage management; the graduate seminar she teaches on Inuit oral history documentation is known to be one of the best courses in the department.

Dr. Jane Franklin is the chair of English Literature; her research interests revolve around the writings of Charles Dickens. All the students in Barrow Hall call her “Dr. Jane,” and call her husband “Dr. John,” because neither would agree to let the other be called “Dr. Franklin.” A memo was circulated. It was messy.

Dr. Sophia Cracroft is an assistant professor in the History of Science department, and a frequent collaborator with Dr. Crozier in an ongoing interdisciplinary project about ancient cartography; although Dr. Cracroft has often tried to get Dr. John Franklin to permit a collaboration with the Egyptology department, Dr. John has always refused. Cracroft’s grad students say that it’s because Dr. John heard something “unsavory” about the relationship between Dr. Cracroft and Dr. Crozier. None of the grad students know what this “unsavory” thing is, but gossip ranges from the vanilla (an affair) to the bizarre (a papyrus smuggling ring).

Other Details

Goldner’s is a purveyor of textbooks of dubious quality. For some reason, all of the introductory language classes in both the Classics and Egyptology departments are always assigned Goldner’s textbooks, much to the students’ and instructors’ displeasure.

* “Coming Out Christian in the Roman World: How the Followers of Jesus Made a Place in Caesar's Empire,” is a real book! (It was not, however, written by John Irving.) I had a fantastic time reading it a few years ago – go check it out.