#but I wanna be more active in fandom again because I haven't been in like a decade

[ghouldtime]

i usually don’t message anyone or anything but i just wanted to say i love your characterizations of konig, ghost, and soap very much. the love and appreciation you have for these characters really come through in your writing.

the cod fandom is full of talented writers but the majority of them write smut. it gets tiring scrolling through the tag and just seeing porn when i actually just wanna see… ppl who enjoy the characters outside of sex appeal, yk? so your blog, truly and genuinely, is a breath of fresh air.

that’s not even mentioning the ppl who write them as abusive or use them to fulfill certain fantasies. i mean i don’t kink shame ofc, but idk sometimes ppl write them in extremely degrading ways that do a disservice to their character and it bugs me a little. plus all the “innocent bimbo reader” rhetoric, idk it gets tiring.

anyway, sorry for the yap session, but i did mean everything i said genuinely !!

💚💚💚💚 Salutations anon! You really don't know how much I appreciate hearing this. Seriously, messages like this give me motivation to keep writing and to stay active on here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU from the very depths of my heart. You've all been so so incredibly kind, sweet, and encouraging 😭 I don't know what I've done to deserve this but it's appreciated and you all are absolutely awesome. This has made my YEAR, thank you for taking time out of your day to send my silly self a message 💚💚💚💚💚

I'm so so happy my characterizations have hit the mark for some people and that I'm (hopefully) doing them some justice! I'm always worried about that because characterization matters heavily to me and I want to respect their characters and how much they mean to me and other people through it EVEN IF THE WRITERS OF THE LAST MODERN WARFARE DON'T KNOW WHAT A PROPER STORY LINE IS AND KILLED SOAP WHICH I'M NOT FORGETTING, IM NOT FORGIVING, AND IM CERTAIN NOT LIVE LAUGH LOVING WITH IT. I'm refusing to accept he's dead, no matter what they say

I love the boys all so much. They all have such interesting things about them and have a lot more dynamic to them than people think and I just want to represent them right, especially lesser appreciated characters (haven't actually really written for them yet but Keegan, Logan, Hesh, Sandman, Roach, Nikto, Krueger - legit I love them, anyone feel free to send asks or scenarios you'd like I WILL write them. Legit, y'all, you can send me asks about certain characters even if there isn't much on them. I WILL do my research and I WILL write to the best of my ability)

Oh there's many talented writers in the COD Fandom, there really are. I can't say I really know any personally seeing as I never really interact with other blogs but I've seen some reallly really nice fics with so much thought put in them. But equally, there's a lot of just... smut. Not even well written smut, I'm sorry, but a lot of it is just really, really poorly written. I'm all for do what you want, write whatever makes you happy. Freedom of speech! If it makes you happy, cool! But I'm also going to cringe cause a lot of it is... yeah, yikes

Not trying to be the smut police and say every detail must be accounted for and everyone should follow it in a certain way but plz basic anatomy 101, basic prep 101, no guy gal or enby pal will appreciate it if you just shove it in to anywhere dry and I've seen a loooot of that and other things that just hurt?????

I get it, people learn by reading/writing, but this is literally just a single search away. And common sense. There's also a lot of practices being unsafely represented (like fifty shades of gray level) and uh it's not on purpose, it's not meant to be dubious, but it just is written as that. PLEEEEASE please please do some research, the internet is right there

But I felt the same way. Like bless whatever y'all want to write, no shame and NO shade to writing smut. I'll probably eventually do it myself again in the future (undecided on that but it'd likely be a side blog if I do and would never be a main focus, I prefer story over smut action. Once again, no shade and no shame to those who don't, to each their own!). Never ever going to full on NSFW mode or only writing that, I'm always always always going to prioritize writing the characters first and trying to get more stories out there about them :D

But I got tired of opening it and all I see is just... smut, smut, more smut, extremely dubious content x 50. And maybe a sprinkle of normal things or fluff here and there. I just don't look in the tags honestly anymore, because so many people just don't properly tag it or give 0 warning at all, not even under a read more, just BAM, unavoidable unless you flat out don't look at the tags at all

There's more to the characters than just being attractive 😭and I love exploring those aspects of them and trying to figure out why they are the way they are

Also I'm ALWAYS going to have an issue with people who fetishize horrible things. When you're actively fantasizing and writing about someone abusing someone else, like flat out abuse, and being incredibly toxic and terrible to someone - just, please talk to a therapist. That's not social commentary, that's not a proper portrayal of real, HORRIBLE things that affect many people and have very real repercussions - that's perpetuating the negative narrative around a lot of struggles and setting it back by instead turning it into something that's treated as attractive. I really fully can elaborate on this and have a whole rant - but it's not cute and it's NEVER cool to fetishize actual, awful awful things that happen to people. Dead dove doesn't excuse you from judgement - especially when it's not even acknowledged. You're just saying you know what you write is probably morally reprehensible. Hey, I'm going to reprehend and won't respect you at all when you write awful things just cause and get off on it. Think people forget that. Dead dove is a descriptor and doesn't excuse you or make you instantly free from judgement or mean you're not doing something problematic/disgusting. It's just saying you know it is, that's about it.

I don't get why people do that when it's clear they have no idea what they're talking about. I've seen that a lot with the bully! Things. Like... wow, clearly some of you WEREN'T bullied and you're writing about it and it shows because if you were, hey, you know how fucking awful that shit is and how it leaves life long effects. Not saying this applies to all but there's a lot I see like that where it's just ".... wow, okay, so you don't have any idea what you're talking about, cool."

AND YEAH the mischaracterization really does do a great disservice where it's clear they're just after the characters for their physique. They just warp them so bad it's like "Are we talking about the same character?" . In AUs you get to explore that and can shape them to your wants, that's your choice! Highly recommend AU's, it allows so much freedom.

But when it's like.... regular? And it's just no where close and they're doing a 180 in how they actually are (like having Ghost flirt with strangers and be big scary daddy dom im sorry he's not at allllll) I don't get it and it's clear you really aren't writing about or for the character - at that point, plz, make your own characters. Just make your own OCs, it's great! And you can make them HOWEVER you want instead of just ignoring a character's characterization to make them fit what you want. And guess what? It's your character so you can TRULY do what you want and have them the way that you want instead of bending characters to fit a box that they weren't made for

I'm not saying you HAVE to write a character the same as me or in a specific way, but when it's a character with an established personality/backstory, the least you can do is follow that outside of AU's if you're writing for them. That's... the whole point of writing that character - I don't get why you'd write for them specifically if you're literally going to ignore everything about them

SPEAKING OF THE INNOCENT BIMBO THING, I'm also really not a fan. Once again, if that makes you happy to write or read, cool! I just am NOOOOT a fan. Why does the reader always have to be so small and so delicate and so pure/innocent? Why does the reader have to be just so UWU coded? Why are they always like "oh you're so little and small :( and just don't know any better" . It's either that or they're John fucking Wick with little in between. Pleeeease it hurts my soul

Its why I try to genuinely write a neutral geared reader with reactions that will likely fit a lot of people! I'm always taken out of a story's immersiveness when it mentions something like like your hair length or how uwu small you are in comparison. Give me just... average sensible reader. Give me reader who has realistic human reactions. Give me reader who isn't perfect, give me a reader who isn't magically special or different. Give me a reader who is just doing their best, who is THEMSELVES, with no intent otherwise. I love those fanfics so so much instead of trying to feel like I have to be something I'm not to get myself in the mindset to read some pieces NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPING. IM ALWAYS WANTING TO TALK IM ALWAYS AROUND 💚💚💚💚THANK YOU FOR THE MESSAGE IT MAKES MY HEART WARM AND MAKES ME SO SO HAPPY

[gunbun]

this post is about the cultural concerns regarding ffxiv: dawntrail

Hi doods. Activism has brushed up against fandom YET AGAIN but this time it punches me straight in the heritage and this time I wanna talk about it.

I'm a non-status Qalipu Mik'maq, for the record. An Indigenous American, if thou wilt.

I discuss some pretty heavy shit below the cut. I pray it persists across all devices. Please advise if you want me to tag this as something, or block the tags I have used. I do not need anyone to spread this on my behalf, I do not need anyone's defense. I just have some thoughts and I want to think them.

So it's been less than 24 hours since Dawntrail was announced and we got the Keynote.

We're going to Fantasy The Americas! Before Industrialization!

Many people went "oh hell yeah, that's Brazil, this is gonna be great! We don't usually see this!"

On Twitter especially, many MORE people lost their goddamn minds, citing CBU3's prior wobbles with depicting foreign/indigenous persons.

And of course, the White Community Leaders are out in force performing pre-emptive outrage or even asking people to quit FFXIV in light of this announcement.

I'm here to ask folks not to do that.

What follows is my tweet-thread about it.

"It is perfectly okay to be waiting and seeing how Tural is going to be portrayed in Dawntrail. It's okay to have a concern.

It is NOT okay to come out preemptively swinging and performing outrage.

Because blood quanta are their own touchy subject I usually don't bring this up, but I am the class of indigenous person what represents "what's left".

And I fucking tell you now I don't need the opinions of Concerned White People.

I do not need Concerned White People telling me what colonialism is.

I do not need Concerned White People telling me to be mad.

I do need Concerned White People to realise that the above two actions are microaggressive as fuuuuck.

"but Jai, aren't you White?"

colonialism and genocide comes in many forms. this includes forcing indigenous persons to assimilate or be killed.

also stuff like reinforcing the idea that being indigenous is shameful so that when their descendants find out, they deny it."

Thus ended my tweet thread. There's one more tweet linking to qalipu.ca.

So I want to write more about this on Tumblr.

I really want to make sure that folks take a hard look at what they're concerned about and why.

Like… a lot of White Concern about the use of indigenous motifs in Dawntrail is itself a brand of anti-indigenous racism.

Thinking that the MSQ is going to automatically be about the Scions starting a colonialism in Tural? That's a pretty gross thing to say in the same breath y'all complain about Always Fantasy Europe.

Calling "cultural appropriation" when everyday items are displayed and depicted in the manner in which they were/are used (gulal, curry)? Way to exoticise foreign and indigenous cultures by thinking that everything they make, wear, use, or eat is something of Deep Cultural Significance that Cannot Ever Be Shared With Outsiders. Saris and salwar kameez are just as culturally significant as skirts and slacks. Moccasins are just shoes.

And moreover, getting preemptively Concerned when thus far THERE IS LITERALLY NO NEED TO BE CONCERNED is actually kind of beyond the pale. I haven't seen many indigenous folks and/or folks from South America being anything but pleased that this time The Americas gets a cool pastiche like Europe, Asia, and India have gotten in the past. There's an undercurrent of "oh no, I hope it's not bad stereotypes" which is ABSOLUTELY OKAY. Reblog and retweet what THOSE people are saying. Do not add commentary.

Preemptively saying "you're worried" about your South American/Indigenous friends with zero indication that they're bothered? Come the actual fuck on. We are not a monolithic group that you can "be concerned" for to get a pat on the back later as a Good Person. Do not Perform the I'm A Good Person And The Worst Thing You Could Do is CALL Me A Racist dance.

Don't "get ahead of the discourse". Not every conversation needs your fucking input. Shut your mouth.

What is and isn't an Offensive Portrayal of Indigenous Americans is a lot more nuanced than most people who like to perform outrage make it out to be.

We can and will speak up for ourselves. Share our words and our concerns if you must. Do not go and distill our words and turn us into the monolith you hide behind to perpetuate white saviourism and neocolonialism.

We aren't a monolith of poor uneducated people who don't understand what the europeans did that need to be uwu protected.

[mazzystar24]

Here's the thing and I'm not saying it's ok, it's obviously not in any way, shape or form, but since I'm assuming you have all the tags of bucktommy filtered perhaps you haven't seen it. Most of the bucktommy blogs (including ones that also ship buddie) have gotten many many hate asks, insulting them, accusing them of something, and just being incredibly disgusting. You literally can't go to the bucktommy tag without finding many posts of buddie fans who tag bucktommy saying shit about the ship, the actors, and the people who ship them. Saying that bucktommy shippers must feel threatened by buddie going canon and that's why they are rude is absolutely crazy (though there might be some that do, who knows?). Now, I'm sure that going to the buddie tag is also hard to do and there must be people who post shit about buddie and I know there are many blogs that are anti the extreme buddie fans. So, what I'm trying to say is that both ships have people that are purposely posting things to make the others mad, that are actively trying to continue this -frankly- stupid ship war. And they are being racist (on both sides, not just bucktommy shippers, I saw a bucktommy blog from a POC person get an ask calling them the n* word) and just plain awful. So, assuming that buddie blogs are better and do nothing wrong is incorrect, and it goes the other way as well. I really don't understand how people can be so mean, and so self-centered over two ships that who even knows what's going to happen? Everyone, absolutely everyone should do better. No one is better than the other one.

Hi anon!

Okay in case you don’t know my blog here is my usual warning that I will be bullet pointing but I promise I’m not trying to be curt/rude (cos you genuinely don’t seem to be on the attack or anything) I just can like explain my thought process better when I can like break it down into chunks 🫡

• I’m assuming you saw either this post which I do end with saying “Like we get it some buddie fans were dicks to you or you disagree or they did something or whatever the fuck but dont start being dicks to an entire fandom???” (Which I feel like it kinda gets the point across of like in general what people shouldn’t do but also it was in the context of me saying that that day there was a surge in the anti buddie fans in the tag, but I also do acknowledge that there will have been buddie fans who have been dicks to them, so I never “assumed that buddie fans are better and never did anything wrong”) Or this one which is just a whole post about why people shouldn’t be misusing tags rather than making people block them and obviously I’m talking in both posts about what I’ve personally seen which is the anti buddie accounts but the principle applies for both and I agree 100% and I did actually make a post earlier than that here where I do talk about both ends and misusing tags as well as not using discourse tags and I talk about both the anti bucktommy/ toxic buddie fans and anti buddie/toxic bucktommy fans so while I understand that you may not have seen that post and out of context it may seem like I only view one side as being better than the other I actually have pointed out before that it’s both and I urge both to just be respectful in fandom spaces, that’s why I even mentioned in the post where I’m complaining about people spamming the buddie tag that I always just politely ask whichever one I see (which again based off what I engage with happens to be the people spamming the buddie tag) but I did make a whole three parter post about how people can improve fandom spaces and how everyone should be doing better

• I actually don’t have the bucktommy tags filtered because as I’ve mentioned before I genuinely don’t dislike them and enjoy seeing their scenes and dynamic they’re just not endgame for me

• okay the racism is a more complicated topic so I do wanna preface this with saying I’m a poc before I have any toxic fans jumping into my inbox calling me a “dumb white bitch” again 😭😭- I don’t know how the racism toward the bucktommy fandom has been -not that any amount of racism is fine obviously like genuinely to those blogs that got shit said I genuinely hope you’re fine- but the toxic bucktommy fans have become a wholeass section of the fandom being racist, which is why I point it out because it’s not one or two incidences but rather an entire subset pushing racist narratives or just posting shit that’s racist u(and again my heart fully goes out to the bucktommy fans who had to deal with people being racist to them I am just personally going based off what I’ve seen and it’s the fact that there are SO MANY racist anti buddie accounts if that makes sense so it’s more widespread in that case)

• as for the comment about toxic bucktommy fans feeling threatened and that’s why there was a rise, i actually didn’t say that but it was pointed out to me by people in my comments and I was like that makes sense and honestly it does because it absolutely tracks that when one side of the fandom is feeling optimistic about something that hints at their ship the other side’s toxic fans will want to put a damper on that, just like I can probably guess that toxic buddie fans probably hounded the bucktommy tag around the time the hospital kiss happened, like it just makes sense

Thanks anon for the ask because I genuinely do agree with most of what you said, and you were respectful with it which I appreciate, but I genuinely urge you in the politest way I can to just check out people’s accounts before sending an ask like this because context is genuinely key and people aren’t gonna be reiterating that it happens on either end when talking about something in the context of one end if that makes sense? And I personally do try to acknowledge it as much as possible even in the posts that I assume you were referring to🫶🫶🫶

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Informal Semi-Kinda-Sorta-Hiatus

So I'm realizing that I've accidentally let fandom slip into the mental realm of Chore/Work. Which is absolutely no one's fault but my own: my experiences with people in the fandoms I hang out in have been almost entirely lovely, and while I'll pat myself on the back a bit for having such fussy curation, most of it is just people being wonderful. Nobody has made me feel pressured about anything.

And yet I'm noticing that I've started treating myself like a Content Creator™ and a Social Media Manager™. I worry about things. Have I been posting often enough? (No.) Am I balancing original posts with reblogs correctly? (No.) Do I have the right meta-to-shitpost ratio? (No.) Am I active on all the platforms where I have a presence often enough? (No.) Have I replied to all my A03 comments? (I have not. I am so sorry. There are almost 40 sitting there right now oh god.) When am I going to update those WIPs? (Hell if I know.)

This past week I posted a oneshot anonymously (go find it if you wanna lol, I do NOT think it would be hard for my regulars to spot) just because...I didn't want to write the lengthy author's notes I usually do (something which I know I do not have to do, yet I feel beholden to the precedent I've set). I didn't want to analyze it for every possible trigger and warn accordingly (something which I know I do not have to do, yet I feel beholden to the precedent I've set [trigger warnings of course are excellent within reason but I have definitely sometimes overdone it]). I didn't want to acknowledge and justify my ridiculous characterizations (something which I know I do not have to do, yet I feel beholden to the precedent I've set). I didn't want to feel guilty for writing a silly oneshot off the cuff instead of working on my WIPs (something which I know I do not have--- Well. You get the picture. Fic writing and blogging have started to feel like homework or a work assignment instead of the escapist hobby I desperately want them to be.

So what's the solution? Well, the title, really. I'm not leaving, I'm not saying I'm definitely not gonna be doing anything, I'm just...backing off a little bit. Truth is that right now I'm hyperfixated on a video game, but it's not something I have any urge to be fandom-y about (and I'm not naming it cuz I've talked to too many people offline about it who I know are also on tumblr and who I don't want finding this account lmao.) So I'm just gonna go enjoy that, whether it be for a couple of weeks or a couple of months. I'll still be on here probably every day, just more lurky than necessarily active. We're super close now to new Yuumori and I'm hoping that will kickstart that interest again. I really really want to write that omegaverse, and I really like what I have of it so far, but the drive just isn't there right now. And I haven't forgotten about Disrepute or Slow and Steady.

Anyway, hell, for all I know next week I might get struck by a sudden bolt of wild inspiration and bang out 10k words. But I'm gonna stop making myself feel bad for not being in the mood to force it.

You are all absolutely delightful, I appreciate you all so very very much, and I will be lurking in your notes. ❤️

[allastoredeer]

I didn't realize we could just drop in and say "hello"! Hello! I just wanna say that I legit haven't been so deep in any kind of fandom since the Harry Potter days and I'm SO GLAD that I came across "Just Kiss Already" a couple of weeks ago. It's been like a domino effect ever since. Firstly, I watched the show and was like "Okay that was really good but I need more! I wonder if people still write fanfiction?" I went my my old stomping grounds, fanfiction.net, but there was only like 1K HH stories there. Clearly there's another place. Thankfully I discovered AO3 and omg.. the OPTIONS it had! So I found your story, LOVED it, then found your tumblr, looked though it and found all the awesome fanart, made my own tumblr and now I'm drawing fanart again for like the first time in almost 20 years! I just wanted to let you know that you are such an AMAZING writer and I feel like I'm fortunate to have discovered your work as early as I did. The show alone, I might have lost interest already but because of fantastic people like you, you've made me so much more interested in the characters, their personalities and their possible stories.

It's going to be a painfully long wait for season 2 you make the wait more bearable. Please don't stop writing. You have an astonishing understanding of the characters and I check every day for new updates! Thank you!

HI! Hahah, I love it when people pop in to say hello, so feel free to do so whenever!

Ah, when that hyperfixation sets in deep and won't let you go. Oh man, I feel you. When you mentioned fanfiction.net you sent me ZOOMING into the past when that was my old stomping ground too XD I've since moved to AO3 and despite still having fics on FF.net I hardly go there anymore. So, welcome!! AO3 is a goldmine of fics, so I hope you're eating your fill!

AhhhhhhhhH! ♥‿♥ It's so awesome to see people getting creative and writing their own fics & making their own fan-art! TBH it's been a while since I've been in a fandom THIS active (actually, I don't think I've EVER been in a fandom this active), so interacting with so many awesome people with shared interests is just hhhhhhhhhh it's been amazing.

And thank you so much (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) I absolutely LOVE writing. It is a passion of mine. Storytelling and character analysis brings me so much joy, and to hear that it brings other people just as much joy makes me just

I love sharing stuff with you guys 🥺 and I love that you love it in turn. It's a cycle of love and appreciation and it's beautiful. I have a lot of Hazbin thoughts and prompts squirreled away, not just for my RadioApple series ;) and I'm very excited to get into them!

Thank you so much for dropping by to say hi! 😍

[the-one-who-lambs]

About me!!

I'm Hannah (she/they). This is my Cult of the Lamb side blog; I follow back from my main @onethirdofimpossible and I also go by that username on AO3. I'm in my mid twenties and I'm from the US. If you're here, it's probably because you've read my fics, but I've written many fanfics for Cult of the Lamb. My works are typically focused on narilamb or the Bishop family, but I go all over the place: whether you like to read multichaps or oneshots, rated G or E, shippy or not, angst or fluff... there's probably something I've written that you'll enjoy! I'm best known as the author of The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God (the old version that I wrote back in 2022, and the new-and-improved "director's cut" version that is my current wip!) and The Care and Keeping of Baby Eldritch Gods.

A few other hobbies I have besides writing are cooking/baking, making plushies, digital art, and playing flute!

Despite being able to write pretty consistently, I'm a Ph.D. student in environmental science. If I haven't posted a fic update in a while, I'm probably preparing for a conference or getting into a fistfight with hydrostatic equilibrium or something.

Links

All my written works on AO3

Twitch, a recent endeavor of mine where I stream games and occasional art/writing!!

Fic playlist for The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God, with all songs in chronological order of what they refer to in the fic c:

I have a ko-fi but paypal is giving me shit so if you REALLY wanna b nice I have a Throne. I don't expect anything ever but if u get me something I'd die for you. and write more stuff while happier.

FAQ below the cut!

How long have you been writing?

I've been writing fanfiction since I was in sixth grade! I wrote what was basically a self-insert pokemon soulsilver fanfic, entirely by hand. It took up four full composition notebooks and then some. However, I've only been posting my writing publicly since 2016. Even after that, I had a nasty habit of making a sideblog for any fandoms I got really into, then deleting my blog and sometimes orphaning my works when I lost interest. I've since learned my lesson, though!

How long have you been drawing?

Ha, uh. I got a digital drawing tablet in May 2023, and started really drawing as a hobby for about... three months, and then the school year started again. Between then and June 2024 I drew like one or two things. So I've actually been practicing for only a few months. Constructive criticism on my art is welcome, especially as I learn!

May I send a fic/art request?

If my bio says they're open, you may, I think they're really fun! Depending on what does or doesn't inspire me, I won't take every single request, but I love requests because they give me excuses to try new things.

Do you write smut?

I've written a couple E-rated fics! My alternate pseud for fics of that caliber is remainderofreality. I don't write it very often, though.

What made you decide to start writing? What makes you decide to keep writing?

1. I had a creative bug I couldn't not itch. 2. Having creative hobbies and sticking to them has dramatically improved my life. I'm happier, I have so many friends it's connected me with, I get to see other people be inspired by things I make (?!), it keeps my mind active and playful, etc etc.

Do you have any suggestions for people looking to start writing?

Before you start worrying about the quality of your writing, the most important advice I can give you is to keep writing and have fun with it. Don't be afraid of being "cringe" or not getting the engagement numbers you're hoping for (in fact, it's better to not have any expectations about that at all!). Not everything you write is going to cater to everyone, and that's okay! But writing (especially fanfiction) is first and foremost for fun and even though it's difficult and you will struggle, it should be rewarding and fun. I've answered a few asks about writing advice and I can't find them all but here are the ones I can: 1 2 3 4

When do you expect to update your fic next?

Lmao god if I know but I'm working on my wips nearly every single day so I promise I haven't forgotten it. I'm a busy person! I'm a PhD student, teaching assistant, research assistant, and executive dysfunction haver.

Do you take commissions?

I don't, and I have no plans to as of now. I'm actually personally against writing fanfic for pay (copyright and ethical reasons), but for art I'm simply not experienced enough yet to be comfortable with that. However, I have TONS of friends who do take commissions so if you're looking for someone I can give you recs

May I draw fanart for you based on your fics?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I EXPLODE WITH JOY if you do please share it with me please please please. I will also likely ask for your permission to print it out and frame it (not a hyperbole, btw).

[markipliers-madhouse]

Hello? Hello Hello?

...Well, this place has been dead for a little bit, hasn't it?

Mentioned a little bit before on that collab piece I did, but figured I'd be better to do a full post bout it here!

So, this AU...has been laying dormant for quite some time, and there's not really any excuses for that. I've just been a little busy with school and life in general, but mainly...haven't had much motivation to do it in all honesty, and their's two main factors to that unmotivation.

1. I kinda realized I'd be needing to write a lot for this story, and though I love writing in general...the scope of this would be like writing a few novels if I continued on, and I just wouldn't have the time or sanity to do that, but more on that later for a solution...

And 2. ...I kinda fell out of FNaF for a moment. Well- Not entirely, I'll always love this series, but I guess it was mainly...the state of the fandom after one certain game...Security Breach. After that game came out, it kinda broke the fandom in half. One half being those who hate the game and left the franchise entirely, now seeing it as nothing but for kids and not taken seriously, and the other...well, actually kids. Y'know the ones. You know.

So that kinda left me kinda unsure for my AU, since I thought if I put stuff out now...it wouldn't really be that appreciated. From the start it was meant to harken back to the original classics of FNaF, but with the fandom mostly filled with newcomers for just this one game, and the original fans gone and unhopeful for the franchise, I just kinda...left this place dorment till I felt motivated again.

...And then the Ruin DLC happened, which gave me a spark of motivation. Seemed this franchise was starting to to head to a better place, getting some old fans back, so that's nice. Got me thinking more bout this AU again...

And then the movie happened, and now i've been slapped in the face with motivation.

SO- Guess that's my excuse for why things have been so empty, but now...I AM READY TO OFFICIALLY SAY IT IS STARTING BACK UP! And not just that...but starting fresh! ...Which, isn't saying much, since I only wrote two chapters for it...y e a h - But there's a reason I'm starting fresh, not just for improved art or retconing some of the mistakes of what I did give out, but mainly because...

I'm turning the AU into a comic!!

That's right! Gonna be drawing the whole thing start to finish! Figured this would be better to me since it's quicker then writing it all, and get to show and improve more of my art, so works out! (You can already kinda see some of that with the new pfp and header) Maybe might get some help in the future, maybe might dable in some animation, maybe a lot of things, but guess we'll just hafta see where it goes from here!

What does that mean for the previous content though? All...f o u r of it? Well, that stuff is gonna be non-canon from here on out! It'll be easier this way since those stuff have either some continuity errors that'll effect the story in the long wrong, or just simply I've changed my mind on some things and it'll be a bit more different! I'm still leaving them up, however! Just cause I think it'll be fun to see how far I've come, and ey some art pieces there weren't bad! ...Too bad...okay like one or two were d e c e n t

TLDR of it tho is this: AU's getting a reboot, gonna be made into a comic now, previous stuff is non-canon, and this page should be a bit more active now!

But yeah! Big things are coming, and I am excited to start up this AU again! I have so many plans for this story that I'm just hoping you guys will love, wanna do justice to both sides of the story! So keep an eye on this blog, might take a little longer, but hoping to get things officially and finally started soon!

And to prove some of that, before I go...you guys deserve a a bit of a sneak peak of what's to come, so...hope you enjoy these redesigns >:]

EDIT: THE SERIES HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN- READ EM HERE- AH-

[fluffy-lovely-clouds]

LONG POST

hate to be serious for a second guys but I'm seriously thinking about leaving the hazbin hotel fandom, and its because i just cant fucking stand vivsie

i haven't supported her in any way ever since i heard about her history which was a while ago, maybe around when she finished her first season of helluva boss. well i stopped watching that, and hadnt planned to watch hazbin when it finally came out until one of my friends encouraged me to. so i had pirated all of it, that way i wouldn't support vivsie in any way, and for a while ive been okay with it, until now.

its not just the fact that i dont wanna watch a show because its by her, its because of all the messed up shit thats in the show, and plus how the fandom is (NOT pointing any of you guys out, you're all great).

For one, it feels like vivienne has such a terrible grudge on Christianity. im not Christian myself, im more or less an agnostic, but i still respect Christianity extremely, along with every other religion and belief as people should. The fact that the whole basis of her story and the way she presents it is a warped telling of Christian places (heaven and hell) and figures (angles, demons, Lucifer) is kinda disrespectful. i get that there are tons of other movies and shows that fantasize christianity and stuff, but hazbin hotel feels like vivienne is just trying and WANTING to outright insult the religion. taking such a big figure such as lucifer and making him goofy as hell, or showing that heaven is full of nothing but assholes, with ADAM being the biggest fuck of them all, just feels too far to me personally.

don't get me wrong, the chance that there are demons in hell that can redeem and be good people and that not everyone in heaven is perfect makes for a great story in my opinion, but i think that plot could be written and presented so much better than what vivsie's done

secondly, there are too many characters in the show that make me so uncomfortable and disgusted, and what's bad is these characters seem really glamorized. im talking about valentino. HE IS A LITERAL ACTIVE SEXUAL ASSUALTER WHO CONSTANTLY ABUSES ANGEL. THAT IS NOT OKAY. THAT IS A HUGE RED FLAG. but guess what, hes still fucking glamorized. not just by vivsie herself but by the fandom as well. you would think something bad would happen to him personally in the show to pay for his actions, but the worst i can remember happening to him is getting bit by fucking niffty, and angel standing up to him, BUT THAT IS NOT HIS DEFEAT. HE IS CONTINUOUSLY SHOWED THROUGHOUT THE SHOW BEING WRITTEN OFF LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. His friendship with velvet and vox is seen as positive and even cute. i dont like vox much either because of the very fact that he makes out with valentino, and it makes me wonder if vivsie wrote vox off to know that valentino commits sexual abuse. if she did, then that means vox knows he's literally making out with a groomer and yet is okay with it. im gonna fucking explode

the fandom can be just terrible in the fact that people know all this but don't give a shit anyhow and draw/ write all the disgusting, shitty characters glamorized anyway cause they're messed up and think they're hot or whatever (VALENTINO). that's it. ive seen it in this community. there was a post about him where he teased y/n and it was meant to be seen positively. it got popular pretty fast. again, im gonna fucking explode. also, there's the deal with Alastor. IT IS CANON HE IS AROACE. But I have seen the fandom completely ignore that and sexualize him so much im starting to lose faith in humanity.

so yeah, i could keep going a bit but i think y'all get the point. i MIGHT not leave completely because i dont hate everything about the show, but by that i mean that husk and angel's relationship are like the only thing i care about. you MAY still see those two on here every once in a while, but that's it

so.. sorry guys, but i hope ive made yall understand

[quinngefail]

So uhh I got a good amount of Saw art ideas, I'm pretty occupied right now with a big freelance project but it's also coming to an end soon here so :) I'm very eager because I've been aching to draw these crazy little characters lmao

In the meantime, though, I'm just gonna yap a bit more, sorta get my foot in the fandom door and all that !! And it's just fun to engage with people so hello :}

So uh dunno if anyone else had a similar experience but I watched the first movie for the first time back in like 2019 or so? And I remember being like Wow That Was Pretty Great :) (continues life normally)

But then I started itching to watch it again last year. And like I do not know what the fuck happened but my 2023 viewing activated like The Hyperfixation Sleeper Agent and now here I am, neck deep in said hyperfixation, like-

Its just funny because my younger self would be absolutely shooken with the fact that this is where I'm at right now. There was a good while where I was like Ew I don't want to watch those movies, they're so gross and stupid >:( but now since 2023 I've been like YEAH BABEY I WANNA WATCH THOSE MOVIES THEY'RE SO GROSS AND STUPID!!! 🗣🗣🗣

And I'm also neck deep in this lifelong Star Wars hyperfixation so for a good while now my brain truly has just been. Saw Wars: Duel of the Fixations

But like for how much Saw has utterly consumed my brain, so far I've only seen I, II, III, and X- which like I GOTTA FIX THAT SHIT... I do know the plots to the rest of the movies though, like there's nothing I don't already know- just haven't actually seen the rest of the series yet lol

So yuhh I just wanted to ramble a bit about where I am with the franchise right now. Absolutely lost in the fucking sauce and very excited to make fanart for it >8]

[devondespresso]

Writers 20 questions tag game!!

tagged by the beloved @eriquin 💕💗💖 i haven't been able to participate in a lot of tag games lately (as evident by this being at least a week late ahnsgdsynkd)(edit: its been way more than a week) but i still really really appreciate the tags!!

divider by @/saradika-graphics

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7 !! I think i still need to put one up there but i haven't yet cause i wanna edit the ending a tad

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

10,746

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Thingssssss, and i think its fair to say the Steve Harrington fandom specifically gdnzngxngxgn

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sweet and Spicy (the one steddie drabble tdnydyndny), My Sunshine, I Can Only Hope Now, Never Again, and Mr. Crayola Henderson

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes absolutely!! its usually a lot of heart emojis and keyboard smashes mixed in with my actual response zgnzgbzgnzng

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhh itd probably have to be Never Again still, i usually like to lean positive with my endings, that whole love-being-alive thing, so whenever i don't its usually because the focus is a different strong emotion that'd conflict with blatant positivity.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oo okay also hard to decide for the same reason, I'd say the ending that feels happiest is probably from either I Can Only Hope Now (the Claudia prompt) or Now That We're Alive because both go from sad to happy and hopeful for the future. My Sunshine ends on a good note but its less "aw yippee!" and more "AAAAAAAAAAAA". I like my drabbles (under 400 words) to end pretty fluffy so far, and stuff like Mr. Crayola Henderson stays a pretty consistent light and fun so I don't think the happy end hits as hard.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, thank god, not yet anyway

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nopeeee tho Never Again has an E and M version it's not exactly fun enough to be smut i don't think

10. Do you write crossovers?

also nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that im aware?? I'd be pretty pissed if it was but also like. is it doing well? is it popular? 👀

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that im aware but i give full permission if anyone wants to

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope, most ive done is bounce ideas or beta, but I'd be down to try it!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

i don't know if i have one?? just in general for stranger things i enjoy steve ships a lot. big fan of Vi and Caitlyn from Arcane but im not really in fandom for that show cause what would i change?? im very much a gen fic enjoyer and if i had to list all my fav platonic dynamics... we'd be here a while xgnzngzgn

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

oh irony my cruelest adversary. a few months ago i was happy and ignorant in my haven of only one active wip. Now there's a small handful, and unless i get possesed with the same emotions i was venting in it, i fear the short Robin-centric letter style thing won't be finished soon. its decent so far but there would be a good bit of editing trying to actually articulate the feeling in a realistic way plus fitting it to Robin's first-person writing style. I don't intend to drop it but lately it just calls to me the least, but that could change

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think its a strange mix of intuition and a technical understanding of writing that works really well for the way i think. Its very broad and basically has no rules, just a understanding of how my favorite stories work, how most writing rules are really trends that tend to work better and then you can dig deeper behind a lot of them to see the *why* behind it. that plus trusting the nagging feeling that something's off makes editing my most productive stage, i can vibe check the area and then start digging dgnxnhxngxng

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

god this changes every time i revisit this draft xumxhmxmxhm this time its probably character introspection. i love writing like a movie and having character action or dialogue or setting or symbols communicate things, but putting down what the characters thinking with similar tact is soooo harddddddd and especially in angst or emotion moments, i want my readers caught in the same thought process as the pov character, i want it to feel so real that even if they never experienced the situation the characters in and even if they know logically the characters wrong, they understand. and that unfortunately involves bypassing their stance as an outside perspective on the matter, which is uhhhhh very very hard xhmznhxhnxhm

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the intent, i think it works best when the author speaks the language themselves, and especially with stuff like asl it helps clarify the grammatic differences. I think if its a language the pov character isn't supposed to understand then "said something in x language" works better for universal immersion.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stranger things babeyyyyyy, i actually started writing the Steve Henderson au first, tho the first drafts of chapters are very different from current ones

20. Favorite fic you've written?

MY SUNSHINE!!!!!!! i am so open about my favouritism with that one, its the most contemplative and atmospheric and emotional and its short enough that i was spending time on every word, every line to make sure it felt right and contributed to the picture i wanted. they say its more achievable (compared to long fiction) to make a perfect short story and that's what My Sunshine feels like to me, the perfect little taste of themes I'm enjoying most in writing rn, specifically with the Steve Henderson au (my second favourite fic xgnxngxgn)

i forget how many ppl im supposed to tag so im gonna do 20, no pressure ofc!! @marvel-ous-m @acasualcrossfade @pearynice @imfinereallyy @tinytalkingtina

@klausinamarink @puppy-steve @queenie-ofthe-void @eyesofshinigami @stellarspecter

@dreamwatch @lightoftheseraph @withacapitalp @findafight @hbyrde36

@vegasol @carolperkinsexgirlfriend @lingeringmirth @momotonescreaming @sourw0lfs

[overmore]

Thoughts on social media/websites I've recently used because why not

All personal thoughts, nothing too serious. Mostly made this cause I've been trying to use other places more than what I'm used to.

Bluesky

New kid on the block. Supposed to be the better version of Twitter, and that is technically true. Works pretty much the same way Twitter does but without ads and blue checkmarks. Has a proper blocking feature + a possibility to make block lists that works wonders if you want specific people away from you.

The thing I've had an issue with is getting my Discover feed to actually behave how I want it to. It is almost impossible for me to get things I care about on it, no matter how many times I click "not interested in this" on almost every post. There are also some missing features like no private accounts and group chats, but that should come by at some point, this is a new site in the end. Hopefully, those features will come soon.

Spacehey

A social media like myspace. Never had the chance to use it cause of my age, but I did try spacehey now. Had an acc for almost a year, but still don't know how I feel about it. Maybe because I'm not used to socials like these, I just don't know how to use it even after a while. It does have a nice feature for blogs and posts, also the bulletin is a neat feature that lets you post smth that will disappear after 1/5/10 days, depending on how long you set it.

Issues I have is the layout-making options are disabled atm. There was an issue in the past that made them have to disable it, so for months you haven't been able to make a new layout. The issue in question seems to have gone away, so there's no reason to not allow people to make them. So you either have to code a layout by yourself or use the ones there are and while there are a lot of them, maybe you'd like something new or even post your own but are now unable to.

The other problem is that the place is still very anti filled. Not a lot of anti-harassment people still sadly. The social media is still very small, so that's probably why and I have no idea if it will grow in any way, but for now, maybe not the best to just go there and add random people. I have met a few anti-harassment people, but that's still not enough for me to justify using the place actively. There are some nice people there who don't seem to involve themselves in discourse, but due to me being to cautious, I'm probably gonna avoid the place again for a while.

Dreamwidth

Site similar to LiveJournal. Same with last place, I've never used something like this before, but in this case, I'm actually getting nice use of it. It takes a bit to get used to it, but once you figure out how to search and find communities, it becomes nice. There are many communities related to events, some fandom-exclusive and some multifandom, many are low-pressure challenges too. It's also a neat blogging platform if you want it to be. You can organize stuff really well, but it can take a bit before you understand how to use it.

My main problem for a while was actually figuring everything out. Took a while before I understood how to make tags work the way I want and show in groups rather than randomly or by how many posts each had. Still a bit annoyed that I can't easily look at communities but have to go to my profile to find the one I want (this might just be a me thing, there's probably an easy way I just haven't found out yet). But beyond this, I go there every day and look at things. I've had fun there.

Neocities

Website for hosting your website for free. Like Geocities (there's a theme of people just reviving stuff from web1 here) You learn to code, or you use a layout and you go there to make your own website. The end. Lol. I like it a lot. It's fun to just have your own website and post your things there. It's nice if you still wanna be online but not have social media or just be less on it. It's fun to find random sites and see what people do there. A lot of them are personal, so you'll find thing about people's lives, what they create ect.

The main thing is that obviously, you gotta have some knowledge of coding. I know very little, but googling Dows the job when I'm lost on something or if I want to find a code. If you want to make your own code it will take a long while since it's not as easy as it seems (I struggle with making a decent looking layout. I can't make the same boxes be where I want them to be).

bearblog dev

This is a very new one for me, like 2 days new one. A simple blogging platform with some nice layouts. It's a very basic site, but it's useful if you want a strictly blogging platform. Do keep in mind that a lot of things, like posting images and more blogs, require to support the dev since there are no ads on the site. If you just wanna say words, it's nice to have it. I found this through neocities since some people there have used it for blogs rather than making a page on their site. It's neat.

---

All of these are without ads and free, though most of these have the possibility to support the sites on a monthly basis which gives you perks and keeps the site without ads.

If I ever try some more stuff, I will post again about it. It's very nice to find more places besides what people are used to.

[ikamigami]

Hey, It's me... The one who was behind the Millennium Productions, Miera.

I somehow lost access to said account so I can only really communicate through the Anon Asks because I know that SOME people on here believe I'm someone another Anon has made me out to be considering the TSAMS fandom.

I've stopped watching TSAMS entirely because I could no longer take how they were treating Eclipse and their other original characters, and I'm honestly HAPPY I've made that decision.

I still love the stuff that I and many others have created, but I barely pay attention to the official stuff now, except for animatics of moments from the newest episodes from some good artists.

I just wanna say to you that you're NOT in the wrong for your psychological analyses, and it IS okay for you to vent on here.

THOSE people don't know what YOU, YOURSELF, are going through, so they don't have the right to dictate what you're SUPPOSED to feel.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to properly come back on here, but I just don't want to be blocked and mocked by the same people that believe these assumptions others have made of me.

I now have a Twitter account and CoHost under the name "Miera Stormrider" where I've become a bit more active on.

If you ever want to DM me on the Twitter one to talk, that's PERFECTLY fine.

-Miera Stormrider

Thank you so much, Miera ^^

I've been through a lot recently irl.. and all these things with the show only made it worse.. I was thankful because it helped me realize many things about myself.. so today's episode hurt so much worse..

I understand that it was probably disturbing to others how I was relating to Sun in a dark way.. but I never felt like that before that my mental issues are seen..

I left Discord because I understood that I can't talk there about these topics but it didn't help cause it was still a problem that I was venting on my blog..

I left Discord on January.. I don't remember when exactly but I left then..

It's all too much for me rn..

Thank you once again for your kind words and concern 💞

And for this kind offer, I'll definitely check out your Twitter account ^^

I'm also sorry that some people were making some awful assumptions about you 😢🫂

I hope that everything is going well for you. You deserve all the best ^^💗

[vampiremeerkat]

I kinda need some advice (if you're comfortable giving), how does one keep their cool/sanity in the hellish atmosphere that is fandom nowadays? I really wanna get back to fanart and stuff as purely a hobby (and it was a huge part of my childhood) but considering how much of a warzone it is nowadays, I dunno if I can. Got anything?

Don't think I'm the right person to ask, I've not had that many entanglements with fellow fans throughout my online career. It's easy to assume that's because my overall viewership/online presence is low, but I've had the occasional semi-viral success and always enjoyed more praise than "criticism". I'd say fandoms in general are lenient and supportive, but every and any kind of community in the world has an insufferable minority. They shout and have alot of time on their hands, making it seem like you're dealing with a crowd, but that's never the case. Even if hundreds of people jump you, billions walk the Earth; it's not even a fraction of a percent you've displeased. But here's an actual answer to your question: In short:

Choose your fandoms wisely.

Don't overstay your welcome by sticking with one.

Don't join any online communities or participate in ongoing discourse. You're only here to draw.

Train yourself to understand that nothing in life fucking matters anyway. :(

In ｌｏｎｇ: I switch my focus alot. If I attract fans of a particular fandom, but the next thing I show off is less likely to tickle their interest, most will leave again, and it's kinda protecting me from growing an unsettlingly invested fanbase. Praise and attention never motivated me to stick around with one series for long, because I know what's waiting around the corner and don't want to be known as "the <insert this one piece of media here> artist", anyway. Look at my nonsense and go away, I just want to die alone! I'm also not active at any online forums and rarely look up and comment on other people's work. Spares you alot of "who asked you"-styled responses. I might've not when I was younger, but agree with the sentiment now. Unless you come across something criminal, why intrude on someone else's fun. Grumble about it on your account if you must, but don't take it to theirs.. even though it's valid to argue that posting something online is an automatic invitation for others to critique it, especially when you don't apply any form of visibility restrictions. I don't really care to discuss ideas with fellow fans. Weird claim, since my Tumblr exists, but I started this account to post Deviantart stuff. People showed up one day and started asking questions about the fandoms I've been involved in (or haven't), but it's not my hobby to get deep about a fictional property. Without getting instigated, anyway. I think about a question's subject as I read the words, do my best to dissect the whole thing and not throw around one-sentence replies, but seldom have the answer ready in my head. The3Eds was the only forum I enjoyed myself at, and the things I talked about over there barely had anything to do with Ed, Edd n Eddy. In the end, no one will be able to offer you one foolproof strategy on this matter. There've been many artists in the past who minded their business and were slaughtered by strangers. You need to be the kind of person who doesn't take online verbal abuse to bed. That's hard to do if you're looking for validation. You could avoid large fandoms that are known to attract the overly defensive and offensive, but if you have to tiptoe through life for others, what's even the point. Know that the internet is a luxury you don't have to participate in. Log off for a week or so if you're feeling down, or alternatively, delete all comment notifications indiscriminately as you keep on doing your thing.. unless you insist on deleting negative comments, but I don't think you should. Why stop people from embarrassing themselves in public. I don't think I've ever deleted comments, unless it's copy-pasted stuff/spam, because what often happens is that the poster regrets and deletes it themselves. I suppose that has value too. Allow that shit to stay alive, so the poster may one day return to it and potentially realise they're better than that. It's easier to keep your calm when you humanize your critics, if you can. The way a person expresses themselves may be trash, but what is it they're saying, and can the reason be empathized with? Sometimes you're dealing with someone who's obviously a child. I struggle to get angry at people under the age of 20. But really -and more importantly- no one should waste their time on fighting fellow fans when it concerns an issue that's objectively not important, you have better things to do. Try to close your eyes for it, it's seldom personal, even if the attacks try to be. People can pretend, but they don't know you and never will.

[turoce]

template under read more + musings

TF2: so. TF2 huh. got into it last year. i kinda lost interest because of a tf2 discord server that i ended up leaving in bad terms + no content updates + i didn't do jackshit in the fandom. i made my robot oc blog but unfortunately that one died along with my fixation! oops.

Papa Louie: the ultimate killer of my tf2 fixation. the increasing amount of "Papa Louie lore is CRAZY!" videos in my recommended feed and the eventual release of Freezeria Deluxe drawing in streamers, and then Jerma, was what finally got me to crack and give the games a go. i don't regret it, because i finally joined a fandom that i actively (? the fandom's kiiiiinda dead aha;;) participate it, after like 2 years of wandering around! it kinda faltered around July~August, but after downloading Flashpoint, it came back double the force.

Scott Pilgrim: got the books for my birthday. read them. the graphic novels haunted me for a while because it was so.... different! from what i've read up to that point. i buried it into my subconciousness but the show dug it up again. i'm not thaaaat into it though. it's a background thought thing.

Good Omens: season 2 babyyyyyy, i wasn't as into it as i was in like.... 2021? i mean, back then i read like, a shitton of GO fanfics. i think that fandom is still my most bookmarked fandom within my fic folder. season 2 was great! heartbreaking even. but as i said, i already blew my steam back in like, 2021. i didn't really have Good Omens people to talk with anyways, not that i'm confident enough to find any.

Madness Combat: was around for the 2021 boom, but my fixation came back because of the Makeship plushie thing, fight meh ok. i wonder a little if they were worth it over the Papa Louie plushie when my fixation didn't last as long (it kiiiinda does sting i had to give him up? it would be nice to own official Papa Louie merch ;;) but whateves. they're in my arms. they're very cuddly. i'm getting off-point, anyways i love these freaks, love the action in the animations, i wanna play the game but at the same time i'm not sure how well i'm gonna be able to handle the guns and the killing. eh, i'll manage, i'll live. i guess i kinda stopped being fixated because like i said, nobody to talk to since i'm a little wary about the fandom... uh, i'm sure there are a lot of nice people, but i've had peeks at what arguments people have been having and that made me decide to just lurk.

AVA/AVM: my friend was watching it and they got into it, so i got curious and i looked into it as well. they're cute little ibbly babbles, those sticks. big fan of the Animator vs Animation series especially because awoo.... it advances so much in style in each episode. V and VI especially blow shit out of the water. love it. love it. didn't really bother to get into the fandom though. i didn't see a place to sit down, so i just walked through the merchant hall and moved on. i stare at the wares every now and then though.

HLVRAI: watched it recently. it's nice. not.... really enjoyable enough for me to be a full-blown fan, but whateves. i kinda don't know why that happened to be the thing that all my mutuals were obsessed with throughout 2021 but the only reason i didn't get into it either was because i didn't finish Hal-Life 1 and i wanted to get into the game blind due to hearing that it was "the best game ever that influenced the gaming industry forever". i wonder, that if i wasn't such a wuss, would i have watched HLVRAI earlier and enjoyed it more? we'll have to see with HL2VRAI. i haven't finished HL2 either btw... sigh.

[yullalightk]

What I've been up too lately..

So, as you may have know that I haven't exactly been active on this platform recently.. that's because I've kinda lost interest in smg4 a little. And I started checking out a series made by Thomas Sanders called the 'Sanders sides' and I've been invested in that series for a while now.

And the reason why I've lost a little bit of interest in smg4 is because it fustraits me a bit. Like how they treat a lot of their main characters, how some events that happened in the past just became nothing as soon as the arc was finished. And I can't forget that the show's just milking Mr Puzzles. I mean think about it, people started to see or check out smg4 because of Mr Puzzles! ofc not all fans but because of how popular Puzzles is the creator is just making him the new mascot of the smg4 channel as a whole.

Puzzles now that I think about it, I don't know that much about his character all that much.. Is he a cold blooded villain who has a deeper modivation?? No, Is he a former villain like smg3 and a character who goes through a path to redemption like Zuko from the last avatar? No, he's a character who has a colorful personality and a character who has now became the new mascot for the entire channel as a whole! And also a 90s cartoon villain that a lot of fans simp for.

I'm just upset that there were so many ways of making him more interesting but the creator's just made him a twink who hyped up a lot of people for the PV arc but then disappointed a lot of fans, not me cause I watched the PV movie before everything else. It also makes me kinda sad that that's all he'll be, a mascot for new fans and a character who we know so little about.. the only thing I can relate to about him is how he used to watch TV to escape reality like a lot of us used and still might do as we get older. But other than that I really can't help myself to like the guy like I used too.

That doesn't mean I'll quit the fandom! just lost a few hopes for the show. Maybe because I didn't rewatch the show/arcs so I'll rewatch them after summer break who knows! But I kinda wanna try something new so expect to see more of some Sanders sides gl2 stuff coming along! But yeah, again sorry for not posting as much and ranting again. This was kind of a rant(?) kinda?? idk! just wanted to get this off my chest so glad I did. Anyhow hope you at least know what to expect and I'll post some Sanders Sides reviews gl2 designs or another rant! Hope you enjoyed this one.

[just-mebs]

I' ve seen you mention the trans fetish thing a few times now can you fill a guy in por favor

I'm feeling fairly violent recently so I'll bite. The guy has me blocked and if any of his friends wanna come around again then they can choke for all I care [under the cut bc this got long]

About 2 (??) years ago when I was more active in the tf2 fandom, I made a lot of SFMs and posted them regularly. At some point I started making nsft ones and posting them on twitter where I would promote them here since I had 0 followers on twitter at the time.

Things started to go down after i posted my second one - read that again: my SECOND one. It was a DemoSpy piece where Spy was depicted as a trans man. (The first one, by the way, was a HeavyScout where you couldn't even see Scout's junk so its not like I was making/posting copious amounts of these or that I was only making trans porn).

So yeah. I make the DemoSpy piece. I share it here but in order to see it you had to go to twitter to see the full image. A few people reblogged it but nothing crazy. After a few days I got a message from someone saying that [blog] was posting about me and calling me a trans fetishist.

Now, I had been a follower of [blog] for a while at this point. Never interacted beyond reblogging/liking some posts but I was a fan for the most part, so I was a bit upset by this so I reached out to them because I didn't understand what was happening/why they would say that considering we had NEVER talked at that point.

Like how can you look at ONE (1) image depicting a character as trans and just assume that the artist - WHO IS OPENLY A TRANS GUY HIMSELF - is a FETISHIST. Like WOOO baby I don't know how to tell you this but you have so much internalized transphobia lets make that clear.

And to be clear: if he just didn't like seeing that kind of content that was fair. I believe in blocking generously. What I DON'T believe in is calling someone stuff like just because you don't like their content.

Anyway, so I talked to him. He doubled down on me being a fetishist because I (a trans guy) made Spy a trans guy and a bottom.

(I'm also a bottom ??? Which you guys don't need to know but also its like ?? So am I fethisizing myself beucase I'm both a trans guy AND a bottom??? Like there is 0 actual thought here. If you equate being a bottom to being "the girl" you're actually just both homophobic and transphobic)

I got really upset (who wouldn't), though mostly because for ME depicting characters I love as being like me actually made me love my body for the first time since I transitioned so now all that self-love I was feeling was dead and I haven't recovered despite this being 2 years ago <33

Trying to wrap this up: I ended up purging all/most of my posts and wiping my twit because I was so overwhelming and made to feel disgusting. A few people that were [blog]'s friends started harassing me over everything and I made a post on twitter saying that I wasn't going to post anymore and someone from there decided to come here and send [blog] a bunch of hate (I genuinely don't know who it was and no one I asked owned up to it but now thinking about it I think I know who it was and I don't associate with that person anymore so eh) which only made me get a bunch more harassment.

Anyway I blocked him and all of his friends that I knew and this was essentially the beginning of the end of me being in the TF2 fandom </3 everyday I wish ill will towards him and everyone associated with him <333

obv I'm not going to share his @ but if you know who I'm talking about leave him alone he's literally not worth the effort.