#but I think him having a breakdown because he's terrified of all his friends being replaced and he wouldnt even know it makes sense

[tuckedawaytulip]

Idk how good of an idea this is, but my brain has been rotating the idea of Martin having an emotional breakdown of sorts at some point past when everyone has usually gone home, and trying to hide in Jon's office so he can cry about his fears of friends getting replaced. Only to find Jon hasn't quite left yet and he ends up getting comforted by Jon.

[dragqueenstarscream]

Having S3 Knockout/Starscream thoughts because auuuuu they’re so doomeeeeed.

Like, you’ve got Knockout, who needs his aftercare, (and like, yeah, everyone does, but Knockout is especially dependent on it, plus he’s used to Breakdown who was the aftercare master, and ofc those two facts both amplify eachother), and Starscream, who is almost certainly going to insist on domming because by Primus he is not ready to be vulnerable, and is probably gonna be giving no aftercare after because 

A: He’s never really received it himself that often if at all, 

B: Receiving it itself requires that level of emotional vulnerability that low key terrifies him, 

C: Given that aftercare is generally a foreign concept to him, his preference of what he prefers his doms to do once they’re done is to just leave so he has space to dissociate (why is this man so tragic), he probably on some level figures that’s probably also what Knockout wants him to do, so he thinks he’s doing him a favor,

and D: He probably still needs to go dissociate himself, which he didn’t expect would still happen even though he wasn’t subbing, the deeply traumatized fuck he is.

And given that they’re both catty bitches it’s not like they’re gonna talk about this afterwards and try and work through these problems, Knockout is probably gonna just say “yeah, this was a mistake, let’s not do that again” the next day and internally Starscream will be like oh thank Primus because he was just not ready for all that.

And the thing about them is that under non-toxic circumstances while they’d still probably be friends, they would under most circumstances probably never fuck, because they’re really not sexually compatible. They’re just not eachothers types, they both are mostly into big hunky mechs and the only reason they, being a pair of twinks, fucked is because at that point in time they were eachothers only non-actively-hostile relationships, and they were both desperate for the idealized version of a (for lack of a better term) human connection that they both were deeply craving but not ready to deal with the real, messy, complicated version of.

As decent as the sex itself might have been, the overall experience was deeply unsatisfying for both of them, so in the end this whole situationship gets filed away as an unfulfilling rebound fling, so it's really no wonder that when push came to shove the prospect of aimlessly roaming the galaxy with this guy didn't really appeal to Knockout.

and it's just this deeply tragic situation where while someone (Optimus, it's Optimus) could have "fixed" (read: assisted in the healing process of) Starscream, Knockout was under no obligation to be that person, even if it meant the end of Starscream's story was him getting tossed around by dragons. It's just so unfortunate.

anyways, just so this post isn't a complete downer, I do see a few circumstances where things could have worked out between them, I could see Starscream getting thrown into KO/BD working out well, maybe in some universe where Starscream succeeded in killing Megatron in S1 and ended up leader of the Decepticons with Knockout as his 2IC. Not only because Breakdown is just the absolute sweetest and as stated before, the master of aftercare, but also because Knockout still having his stability in Breakdown and not being high key depressed would probably make him more likely to want to take on a "pet project" in Starscream, so to speak. I also remember a while ago you made a post about a OP/KO/SS (sidenote, its so funny to me how the moment Knockout enters a ship the names just get reduced to letters) fic you wanted to write, I don't think I mentioned it at the time but I absolutely would read that if you made it.

So yeah, Knockout and Starscream aren't inherently doomed, but boy howdy did it turn out that way.

ohhhhhh man, these two are another guilty pleasure of mine, but yes. they are absolutely doomed with the way the narrative played out.

the way you said it pretty much sums it up. these two are searching for something in each other that neither of them will be able to find.

knock out needs someone to take care of him. he needs someone to really love him the way breakdown did. he needs someone who's willing to take care of him and make him feel like he's needed, even if he's not that open about it. it's why ratchet being grateful for him was one of the big tipping points which led him to join the autobots, the way i see it. whether or not he was into ratchet, that's up to you, but either way, he was needed.

and starscream needs to heal. this bot has been through so much, from leaving cybertron to losing his trine, and that's not even getting into all of the bullshit he's had to put up with concerning megatron. he doesn't have the strength to be emotionally vulnerable because he's afraid of the consequences of opening himself up. knock out can be a release for him, a way to just forget everything for a while, to not be himself.

so, these two, being each other's only stable relationship aboard the nemesis, sought what they needed in each other. of course this was never going to end up healthy. if they were just back on cybertron, away from the war, they probably would've been those catty best friends who are practically attached at the hip and love to judge everyone together. but in a sexual relationship? aboard the nemesis? in the middle of a war? this was doomed to fail.

it could work, though. i can see where you're coming from with ko/bd/ss, especially if megatron either stayed gone or straight up died. starscream wouldn't have to put up with megatron's shit anymore, and, since breakdown was still there, knock out and breakdown would be able to have that stability. this might leave knock out with a desire to bring starscream into their relationship, should the three of them be into that.

and i'm glad you brought up ko/op/ss or knockstarop, because it's an underrated idea and probably my ot3! the way i see them, optimus and knock out would probably get together first, but the both of them have expressed interest in starscream, so they invite him into their relationship and now they don't have to pick and choose between each other. more love to go around!

but yeah. as much as i enjoy ko/ss, they were probably never gonna turn out healthy with how canon went.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

It's taking me ages to write this chapter because every time I look through old VODs / notes to check something, I come across moments like this that make me want to lie down face-first on the floor:

[Context: Pac commits to the idea of taking the Happy Pills so he can create a cure. He's about to write a note to Cellbit to explain his plan.]

Pac: If Cellbit puts himself in this position, it's worse for everyone, because Cellbit is smarter when it comes to coming up with strategic plans, so he is the thinking mind of the Favela Five group, so if he no longer has the mind, he’s not capable of solving this whole problem, you know? But if I put myself in this position to help Cellbit so he can get the cure... You understand? It's better if I'm the bait. Right? I can't- I can't carry things alone guys, I've already lost Mike [...] if I lose Cellbit and I alone had to carry things, I won't be able to. But I think Cellbit can manage better. He is more independent, and he has Roier. He has a husband. I'm trying to– to be lucid here, understand? That's all.

Date: September 11, 2023 || Timestamp: 03:10:10

[surgepricing]

I think about Azula shooters often and their common refrain of "if Azula hadn't had a mental breakdown, she would've won" and I'm here to tell you that no, she wouldn't have.

There is no universe in which Azula was winning that fight with Zuko (or Katara, for that matter).

Azula spent so much of Book 2 being built up as this deadly terrifying force against whom the heroes are badly outmatched that it can be difficult to catch exactly how quickly Zuko is advancing.

Back up a bit to Book One. For the fearsome exiled crown prince of the Fire Nation, Zuko's not that impressive a firebender. He's not bad by any stretch, and he's able to lay the untrained Sokka and Katara flat pretty easily. Then he gets in the ring with Aang, who is an airbending master, and the difference between a regular bender and a master becomes apparent when Aang literally puts his ass to bed:

People have attributed this to the fact that no one's fought an airbender in 100 years, but I think it's also worth noting that Aang (a 12 year old from a pacifist nation) has probably never fought anyone before. Like, ever. And yet the second Aang thinks "okay, I'll attack back", the fight's over.

Zuko's got the same genetic predisposition for firebending talent that Azula does, yet it never seems to manifest because of his mental blocks. At the beginning of the series, he's already so beat down that all he really has is conviction, pride, and anger, so even with training from Iroh (the firebending master, thank you very much), he struggles. Yet throughout Book 2, when he has no time to train because he's on the run, he actually seems to advance faster. The fact that his bending is literally tied to his character arc (as his morals become tangled and he has to fight off aforementioned mental blocks) is pretty brilliant. Like, by the time of the Crossroads of Destiny, Zuko getting his ass handed to him by Aang is a pretty consistent feature of the show--he just can't match wits with him.

Hell, at the beginning of the series, he and Iroh (again: the actual firebending master) launch a combined power surface-to-air attack...which Aang casually swats away into a nearby ice wall. Come the Crossroads of Destiny, however, and Zuko by himself launches this bigass fireball that blows through Aang's defenses.

Zuko advances so quickly that it's scary. That prodigious talent is in him even if it doesn't come through as cleanly as with Azula. Who, by the way, was busy about to get flattened by Katara some few dozen feet away, until Zuko took over and then effectively stalemated her himself.

All of this in retrospect makes it abundantly clear why Zuko's firebending seemed to skyrocket so much when he learned true firebending from the Sun Warriors: it was really the only thing left. He's hard a hard road learning how to fight waterbenders, earthbenders, and airbenders, and even if unconsciously, he's applying the philosophy Iroh taught him about augmenting his bending style with aspects of other styles (see also, the waterbending-like fire whips he uses in the above gif). Once he actually understands fire and how it works, he's got it mastered. Hence why any gap between him and Azula effectively disappears as soon as their next fight--before her friends have betrayed her and her stability goes out the window. There's no real sense of urgency to their fight at the Boiling Rock prison. True, Sokka's presence with the sword helps, but Zuko doesn't look remotely worried and he counters Azula's every attack perfectly.

All her life, Azula only ever learned fire. She was taught by the best people the fire nation can employ, so she knows all the cool tricks, but she's still poisoned by the corrupted firebending practiced in the modern ATLA timeline. Unlike Zuko, who managed to get the basics if nothing else from Iroh (fire comes from the breath, and can be used to survive as much as to kill), Azula has always used fire as a weapon and a means to hurt others. She has no true knowledge of the craft, meaning she's got the same weaknesses as Zhao, she's just better disciplined to the point she can make up for it.

Zuko's victory was a given considering Azula's complete loss of control by the time of Sozin's comet, but even had she been in a perfect mental state, she'd have lost, because in many ways Zuko is simply the better firebender.

And that's the truth of it.

[wasyago]

Please more Trail's gone cold au I'm begging you I need it just pour out every thought in your brain I want to hear it

hgdhhfbd i mean, sure why not

everything plot related is in the main post, there's nothing else really to tell. but i could share random details that didn't really fit into the lore drop. again tho, it's a small au and mostly an exploration of the concept, so there's not a lot.

❄️ gem and etho are siblings, i don't think it was mentioned anywhere? blood related and all that, they both have black hair, gem just dyes hers.

❄️ behind the scenes reasons for the order of deaths. generally i picked these three to be the main cast because i suddenly realized pet crew were just dungeon master and his two winners, and that was too crazy of a concept to not do anything with? so, tango as the main guy and actual master of the dungeon had to die first, seeing how he's the cave's favorite. pearl as the main explorer and as the one to unlock all the secrets had to die second, because she had to return to the dungeon / the cave to find out the truth, and she conquered it but never actually got out. and etho had to survive, because he's the "proper" winner and the one who actually escaped the dungeon with treasures.

❄️ lore reasons for the order of infection. tango you already know, but pearl and etho went in at the same time so in theory they had to start experiencing the effects together. but because etho was wearing a mask it did lessen the amount of sculk he inhaled, slowing down the process. wear masks kids!

and, well, you did say you wanted to hear every thought so. i really like the plot point of them leaving tango to die, so im gonna ramble a little about it. even just, the difference in their views on the situation is so satisfying to me. because tango had no idea something scary was happening to him! and for pearl and etho it was a life or death situation. and just-- they were talking about leaving tango and tango obviously, obviously, protested, because what the actual hell??? yes okay he's ill and a burden, but don't leave an ill guy to freeze to death in a cave, what is wrong with them????? or, okay, what is wrong with etho, pearl was against the idea. but, straight up tango did not plan for it to end this way, he had his whole life ahead of him and so many things ha still wanted to do! of course he cried when they left, what else was he supposed to do? thank etho for his awesome decision? be all cool and stoic and sacrifice himself? hell no, he didn't want to die, he never asked for this.

he did die tho, so. whomp whomp 🎺... i imagine he passed before pearl and etho even reached the stairs, so at least he didn't suffer for long. if he had a breakdown about being left alone he probably hyperventilated and inhaled like a ton more sculk, so that killed him even faster. must've sucked tho...

and then pearl, god, pearl.... she didn't encounter any dangers on the way back, since she wasn't trying to escape and the cave had no reason to be hostile towards her. but seeing how she was at the last stage before turning... she probably didn't get to tango before collapsing... not dying just yet, but too feverish and too weak to walk. but if tango was already back, he could very much go and find her. can you imagine the pure horror of drowning in your regrets as you slowly die and then having your supposedly already dead friend appear in front of you all cheery and oh so wrong. i dont know how much of tango is left in that thing, but the image of him sitting by pearl and holding her until she dies is so-- its haunting but it's sweet. and then there's still enough time to catch up with etho.

actually, gahhhh, all three pet povs are their own unique horror story and it's so good.

the horror of having to go through this terrifying experience, and then being the only survivor, knowing full well that the only reason you lived is because you left your friends to die, and there's no way of fixing it now.

the horror of everything falling apart around you because of miscommunication, and then the one time you decide to do it right you end up regretting every single decision and witnessing the direct result of your mistakes come for you.

the horror of being stupid... the horror of losing all control over your life and being betrayed in the moment of your most vulnerability, dying fully and utterly helpless.

this au is so sad but i love it so much...

okay wow that's enough for one post, ask more if you want tho!

[alastors-antlers]

a brief take on the whole "Alastor's smile is permanent" discussion

hello all!

I've seen a lot of people theorizing lately that Alastor actually smiles all the time because his smile is magically, physically fixed onto his face. All of this seems to come from the fact that he's practically grimacing rather than smiling during the scene where he breaks down in ep8:

As well as this frame of his deal with Charlie: (lower res sorry)

I will say, I do like some of the implications of this theory. The sheer spite of his creditor forcing him to smile as an addition to their deal, almost like a sort of forced silence, is a neat concept. It's fun and dramatic. Plus, of all things, of course Alastor would claim the "smile at all times" policy and make it his own to pretend that it was his decision all along lol.

To be fair, though, I don't think we even need any magical compulsion to explain why he's smiling while he's having a mental breakdown. Actually, if we assume magical compulsion, I think we lose a bit of dimension from Alastor's character. (No judgement to anyone's take though, of course -- I just think this works in the direction of his established characterization, but obviously all personal takes <3)

Hear me out:

Alastor's persona is not just for others to see.

"A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends; keeps your enemies guessing; and ensures that whatever comes your way, you're the one in control."

That makes sense given what we know about him. If he's always smiling, he seems like he has it together. You can't read him very well, especially not when he's actively trying to keep up appearances.

Now consider that when you think about ep8's fight with Heaven, we see that he's already been through so much in this one day.

He fights an army of angels, presumably not even at his own whim (if we go by his blurb about freedom in the Finale song); he loses to Adam, who he considers sloppy and mediocre; his staff, which we can assume holds some part of his power, is snapped; he comes close to being Angelic-power-killed; and to top it all off, he knows that others watched him get injured and then apparently die or flee, all of which would ruin the public image that he's trying to maintain. It wouldn't even be unreasonable for us to assume that he knows Vox was watching, given that Vox kind of has eyes everywhere.

In a moment like this, in the finale, you could say that Alastor has lost (at least on some level) everything that we know matters to him. He doesn't have access to all of his magic, and it's limiting him. He's reminded that he doesn't have freedom or control over his own destiny. He certainly has taken massive hits to his powerful, composed persona. But he's desperate, and furious, and terrified, and clinging on.

That's why he's smiling.

It's not that he can't stop because he physically can't. It's that he can't stop because to him, the smile is the last thing that is still within his power. When there are so many moving parts that he can't predict what happens to him next, he can control how he responds to it. In these last fragments of autonomy, there is solace.

He needs to keep telling himself that he has it together and that he'll eventually scheme his way free, that there's a solution, that he won't be in chains forever; because letting his pretense slip would be admitting that it's all starting to actually get to him. That maybe this time, he doesn't have an escape plan.

In addition, if you read his interactions throughout the series, we also see something else: Alastor's reputation is of paramount importance to him. At multiple points throughout the series, when others disrespect him by discounting his power or presence, he gets visibly annoyed. And in the battle, we see a glimpse of the part of his personality he seems to be trying to leave behind - a normal Alastor, who's just some guy from Louisiana. No transatlantic accent; no unflappable malice; no sharp wit waiting at the ready. Maybe even unremarkable.

Dropping his smile - arguably the most prominent part of his brand - would be admitting that in reality, he's not the Radio Demon of legend that he aspires to project. And if he doesn't have that... where would he be?

[kunikame]

# PURPLE LILACS !

[11] - the embrace of home (rediscovered) | prev. | m. list | next

ace trappola x fem!reader smau

! warning(s) : readers first attemp at using magic, meowing, ace trappola is literally the sun, cussing, floyd leech, the curse of ra be upon yee

! w/c : 1087

you find yourself sitting on the wooden floor of the living room, back pressed against the old, dusty couch, hands fiddling awkwardly with the thing crowley gave you.

it’s odd, really. despite having seen countless of these things since you arrived in twisted wonderland, you have never once thought you’d be holding, much less possessing one of them.

lost in thought, you missed the 3 knocks that rapped against the entrance, as well as the heavy creaking of the door.

“dude, you will never guess what i just saw–” startling at the sudden voice, you whipped your head to the side only to see the ginger you called over staring intently at your hands, eyes wider than you’ve ever seen them be, “is that a magic pen?”

“um, yeah. that’s- that’s what happened with crowley, haha. turns out i have magic, or something. yay!” you performed the most awkward jazz hands humanity has ever had the misfortune to witness and ace dropped all the candy packets in his hands.

“huh?!” he rushed over to you, shaking you by the shoulders, “dude, what?! tell me everything!”

“okay- but stop shaking me, damn. um, so he called me in and he went on about having some research and tests done or whatever, and he was all ‘yeah so you basically have a magical affinity haha, the carriage wouldn’t have brought you here otherwise’ and how it was through ‘unfortunate means’ and stuff. he said we would have to run further tests to fully unlock it so he gave me a magestone for now and called it a day, said it would at least power weaker spells and the like,” a moment of silence passes as you look away from him, thinking your next words through carefully, “i didn’t have to accept it– didn’t want to, initially. but then i remembered, and, yeah. i felt compelled to.”

“remembered?”

“my parents. surely they would feel better knowing i can.. protect myself? and live a relatively ‘normal’ life here, if i went through with it. .. they would, right?”

you looked back up at him, your eyes sparkling a little more than they did before, and despite it being further from the truth than the usual blunt, no bullshit ace trappola would have liked, he found himself agreeing.

“.. yeah. yeah, i’m sure they would. i think they’re proud of you for taking that step towards ensuring your safety.”

ace trappola has never been much of a hugger.

but, then again, he’s never been much of a liar, either.

in the warm embrace of your newfound friend, you rediscovered something you missed so dearly, and you sobbed.

not purely over the circumstances you found yourself in, but also because ace was warm.

one hand rubbing soothing circles on your back while the other found itself in your hair, ace was gentle. somehow barely there yet completely enveloping you at the same time, his presence ghosting over you, like a soft blanket on cold winter nights. like the gentle caress of your mothers hand, and your fathers warmth as he sat next to you on the couch. ace trappola felt as warm as the sun, almost like the everlight orb shone purely on him, illuminating his existence– and ace sucked it all up like it was nothing, readily sharing the light and heat with his peers– with you.

ace trappola embodied not only the warmth of the sun, but also the comfort of home.

amidst your sobbing, the loud thumping of a heartbeat went unnoticed.

a short while after your breakdown, you find yourself completing the finishing touches on floyds clay figurine– or ‘floyd jr’, as he likes to call it– with ace by your side, scrolling on his phone while also keeping a steady eye on you.

eventually he discarded his phone completely, his attention now on the creature in your hands. this version of floyd looks far less terrifying than the real one, at least it can’t tackle him at basketball practice, he thinks.

“don’t you want to try it out?”

you hum a questioning tune, eyes flickering up to him for a mere moment, then immediately shooting back to mini floyds hat.

“your magic. it might make it easier to make these. and it’d be a good way to see if it works.”

he did have a point, but you’re almost done with this one and you don’t really want to risk ruining it.

then you remembered some left over fabric from a previous project, and rushed to your room to grab it– you just hoped it would be enough for what you have in mind.

once you returned to your position on the living room floor and cleaned off the table to not break anything that was on it, you grabbed the magic pen and envisioned your creation. ace sat with bated breath (which he will not be caught alive admitting) and as he watched you flick the pen, the fabrics were sent flying all over the room.

“oh.”

“.. maybe it was too complicated a vision for a first time spell.”

you retrieved the fabrics to try again, with a less taxing version of the project in mind.

this time, after a gentle flick of your wrist, the fabrics floated up slowly. they began to weave together with matching colors of threads, the scarlet and whites forming the pattern of the heartslabyul uniforms, while the vermillion floated up to the top of the doll, settling on its head in a messy mop of ginger hair.

once it was finished, the plush doll fell on the desk with a loud plop, conveniently standing up and staring you directly in the eyes.

a short silence settled upon the room then– you didn’t think you could actually do that!

ace reached out for the plushie with shaky hands, slowly lifting it to his face, studying it intently.

“is.. is that me?”

“yeah! i tried my best to make it look like you, at least, haha. i wanted to thank you for, y’know, keeping my secret, and being there for me, or whatever. so, yeah, thanks. you’re not as much of an ass as i initially thought you were, so you get your own merch, like all the people precious to me here.”

‘like all the people precious to me here.’

he’s precious to you? all he’s doing is lying to your face.

but instead of saying that, he smiles, “you’re precious to me, too.”

## ❝ after the events of the phantom bride wedding, ace started wondering whether he still had the ability to charm girls. he hasn’t thought about anyone romantically in years, hasn’t really flirted with anyone either, what if he’s gone out of it? perhaps it’s time to put his talents to the test; with the person who hates him most, no less. if he can charm her, he can charm anyone. ❞

#TAGLIST ! : @solxima @gabirii @lunavixia @y2unagiz @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @borlining @verity-moon @myunghology @doughnuts-eater @lifeless-bug @babygurlenthusiast @shirishere @xopeach @stormyovent0aster @bontensbabygirl @ars-tral @wrathy-mcwrathface @sinofthesloth @skeet-2 @everettelz @sakuram1nt @shatiyuh @ambigrueity @junebunny06 @norylight @dyedracoonhair @persm1net @meowbuscompany @sugarrush-blush @oopsie-daisy-doo @yuumei-strawberry-shortcake @jaiistg @erigaur // ask/comment or fill form to be added/removed! (if you’re in bold i can’t tag you)

[verystrxxwberry]

Hello Alex, I hope you're doing very well! I think your writing is incredible because you manage to convey the exact essence of the character, so I would like to ask you for an angst hc of Nevra first night since Erika entered the crystal. I'm not fluent in English so I apologize for any mistakes, have a great day and take care!

ELDARYA; the first night Erika entered the crystal

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: How did Nevra experience the first night Erika entered the crystal, sfw, angst, eldarya TO. ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Oh my, it’s the first time someone ever tells me that, and I am very glad you think that! I do my best to write as good as I can the character because I fear doing something weird with the character (plus they aren’t my oc so it is different: probably the way I think about them in a situation is different than the opinion of another person) but anyway! Enjoy it.

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

The first night was the hardest. Nevra arrived as quickly as possible to the crystal room, but still he arrived too late to help anyone. His best friend was lying down on the floor, his body surrounded by blood and not showing any answer at the sounds around him. Still, Nevra had the last hope of Valkyon being alive- he had to be alive. He didn’t mind getting his hands dirty by Valkyon’s blood, he shook him, tried pcr on him, he yelled at the body. But that body was empty already.

His tears came out without control, and he didn’t even mind because he was too busy trying to accept what his eyes were seeing. It had to be a nightmare. He couldn’t believe it.

Nevra turned around, gazing at Miiko, who was being attended by Eweleïn, but there were no signs of Leiftan or Erika, so he started yelling their names.

He wandered around the crystal room searching for them both, desperate and with a deep pain clawing at his heart. Even if his face was filled with tears, he had an expression of rage. His fists were clenched, prepared to punch Lance if he had the chance to find him.

But when they got told that Erika and Leiftan got trapped in the crystal, he truly hoped for it to break again. This shouldn’t be happening. He approached the crystal and hugged it, screaming if they could hear him.

Come on, the last conversation he had with Erika was to drink from her blood. She allowed him to keep the fight with energy, and he had to do something to help her too. But he couldn’t do anything.

He sobbed against the crystal like a little kid. His emotions were dominating every sense and control in his body. Nevra didn’t mind if there were people from the town watching him breakdown over that, at the end it was normal to break down after seeing the consequences of a war.

It was Ezarel who separated Nevra from the crystal and told Karenn to distract him outside. Nevra was reluctant to let go of the crystal, it stole his lover, his Erika. That place also held the last thing he would remember about his best friend, Valkyon.

All the time he remained outside the general headquarters, he spent it embracing Karenn and crying in her arms. He was desperate and his words went from “I can’t do this anymore” to “this is so unfair.” But he couldn’t change the past.

When the night came, Nevra went to the crystal room, which was still destroyed but finally empty. The silence on it was terrifying, it felt like all the color he saw around in his life was suddenly gone: everything was gray and carried the heavy weight of death. Even if his chest was heavy of remembering what just happened hours before, he decided to stay there. He sat on the floor, looking up at the crystal with the tiny hope of seeing any sign from Erika or Leiftan.

He blamed himself, thinking that he would probably have been able to stop Lance if he just came minutes before. He could have saved Valkyon. He could have saved Erika and Leiftan from being trapped in the crystal. But thinking that way… he could have saved Mery, he could have saved Ykhar as well. He could have saved so many people yet he was always late. And why was he feeling bad over Leiftan? He hated feeling sad for losing him after all the stuff he did, but he couldn’t help it. There was something about all the time he spent with Leiftan that made him miss him.

Nevra heard steps behind him but didn’t even bother to look around. If it was someone willing to stab him, he’d gratefully accept… but no. It was Ezarel who offered him a bottle of water. The elf sat beside Nevra and looked at the crystal. They shared a few words, where Nevra told him with a hoarse voice that he was terribly afraid of losing anyone else. xd

Ezarel remained silent, but he decided that it was correct to embrace his friend and stay there with him. They shared the same deep sadness and anxiety over the situation, so he also found comfort in Nevra’s presence.

They both didn’t sleep a bit through the night. Ezarel had his eyes closed, his head resting on Nevra’s shoulder, but not being able to sleep. Nevra had his eyes open all the time, staring at the crystal and visualizing how it could’ve been if he was there on time.

The next morning he had to take a nap because the headache he had was terribly painful.

The next days Nevra was off. His attention was driven into memories, into the things he experienced that day. He was closed in his own world, and the only ones he dared to open were Ezarel and Karenn.

His sleeping schedule was terrible, either he slept and had nightmares or he couldn’t sleep at all. That also came along with his eating schedule, which was also terrible as he felt nauseous most of the time. It was Karenn the one who forced him to try to eat something to at least feed his body- and it worked, because he was starving, but the anxiety made him feel nauseous constantly.

His coldness increased when he lost Ezarel. Nevra showed himself as being fine with the decision the elf took. He was an adult capable of making his own decisions after all. But he was deeply in denial about it. It was too soon for him to lose another friend. But he did, he lost Ezarel too soon for him to learn to cope with it properly.

✰; remember to reblog and like to support my content, I hope you enjoyed it!

[darkcrowprincess]

Mike has a breakdown/ Mike goes off:

The last time Mike had a breakdown. He was 12, and the world was ending. The second time was no different. But everytime it happens, Mike is still surprised when the anger/sadness/powerlessness explodes out of him. It all comes spilling out in the worse way, like a shaken can of coke a cola exploding when you flip open the top. Lets set the scene. A empty office in the radio tower station, as Lucas and Mike wait for Will and Dustin. Mike and Lucas being the only two in the room. Mike has been on edge all day. Lucas is getting a little tired of it honestly. He knows you shouldn't go poking the angry bear known as Mike. But well, they have been avioding the obvious long enough.

"Its almost like you're afraid or something," Lucas says nonchalantly. Mostly to himself. But really to get a reaction out of the skinny, tall, brooding idiot he calls a best friend.

"What?" Mike asks confused. He turns to Lucas. Done with his staring match with the wall. Brings the seat he was leaning on it's back legs fully onto all fours again.

"You heard me, your scared of being with Will. Your terrified to love him. Or terrified to at least tell him." Lucas states matter of fact. No bullshit in his face or in his tone.

Seeing that he's serious, Micheal Wheeler's face goes through so many emotions in the span of seconds. Confused, realization, fear, acceptance, and then finally anger. Actually no anger isn't the right word.

Mike was in two words; pissed off.

"Fuck you. You know what Lucas fuck you.

Lucas doesn't get mad, "Well are you?"

"Im not talking about this!" Mike angrily whispers. Its the whispering that gets you. You can tell thats Mike's pissed because he hadn't started yelling yet. He's trying to hold it in.

"But are you? Are you scared? It will make you feel better if you talk about it Mike," Lucas declares with and honest, yet haunted look in his face. Unspoken between is whats obviously haunting Lucas.

Mike wants to cross that line and bring Max up to piss Lucas off. Get him to hate him and back off with this line of questioning.

But Mike thinks, he doesn't want to. Partly because he's just so sick of hurting his friends. But mostly because Mike is just tired. Tired of keeping it all in. So he pops open the soda.

Mike's pale face becomes red quickly in anger, "Of course I'm fucking scared! Im scared of losing him again!!

Mike yells this out into the room. Its loud and people could probably hear him.

Lucas though, oddly is in favor of the anger. For Mike to be honest, even if he is angry. Lucas feels like his best friend needs it. Seemingly wiser than his age suggests, "Mike your not going to lose him. You haven't lost Will. Will is still here."

"Yeah but for how long Lucas! How long huh? I couldn't handle losing him for a week when I was 12! 12 Lucas! He got lost from my house that day! My house! He was suppose to be safe! And he wasn't! I couldn't do anything! I was helpless! Then the next year with losing El, he was being possessed and hurt by that thing! He was hurt and everyone around us was dying! The best thing I could come up with was to burn up a hole in the ground! That was the best I could come up with to help him! I'm always useless! Every year its some new fucking disaster nightmare that could kill us all, but losing him in this mess is what terrifies me most. And your asking me to listen to my heart and get into a relationship with him. Tell him I love him and act like everything will turn out hunky dory, we'll be skipping off into the sunset, Will and I?! Are you out of your fucking mind Lucas!"

Mike is full on yelling now, and he seems to just be getting started.

Mike throws his hands in the air and starts pacing. Back in fourth like he needs to move.

"The whole town is this close to going crazy psycho mob on us, the upside down is leaking into our world. Plus you know homophobia is still a fucking thing in the 80s. And the cherry on top of all the piles of shit we are dealing with, Vecna wants Will.

Mike starts laughing in a cruel hysterical vocie, pulling his hair tight in his fists, still pacing. "Which is just another can of worms. That creep does not only want to kill my family personally, but he's making the moves on Will. Like no the universe can not let William Byers have a fucking break in this life! Lets add a homicidal pervert to the equation!"

"Mike calm done it will be ok." Lucas says, getting up and going to Mike.

That is the wrong thing to say.

"DONT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN LUCAS SINCLAIR! NONE OF THIS WILL BE FUCKING OK!!" Mike grabs something on the desk in anger. A paperweight. Turning to the window(behind him, no where near Lucas' vicinity) Mike throws the paperweight with all his strength towards the office window and breaks the glass. It makes hauntingly loud shattering noise. It echos loud in the room, and the glass from the impact falls out from the hole made with the round paper weight. Then the room is filled with silence and Mikes harsh breathing. His shoulder moves with his angry breathing, but doesn't turn around.

"Whats going on?" Says a soft familiar voice.

Both boys turn around, there standing in the open doorway is Will.

Mike turns back around, not wanting to make eye contact with Will. Not wanting anyone (especially Will) to see him like this. Mike just keeps staring out the broken window. In the reflection of the broken glass, if you look, you can see Mike Wheeler start to cry. Silent tears appear in his eyes.

Lucas tries to cover for him, " Nothing everything is-."

"Please don't say everything is fine Lucas. Mike shouldn't be yelling at you like that. Especially with everything going on." Says Will. But he isn't yelling. He says this with a tired but gentle look on his face. A look that he's only sending Mike's way.

Lucas is tired too. "I'm going to give you guys some space to talk."

Will nods as he fully walks into the room, heading towards Mike. Mike still hasn't turned around.

"Thanks Lucas, please shut the door too."

Lucas doesn't say anything. No point really, Mike and Will are in their own world. But he does as Will asked.

As he closes the door, he catches Will hugging Mike from behind. Mike leans into the touch as much as he can. Turns around (tears staining his face) and hugs Will fully.

*******

(God this took forever to write!!! But I'm so glad I finished. Would love to hera your opinions Byler shippers!)

[nightklok]

I have so many things to say about Ultraman Rising it’s insane

I’m choosing to talk about how the movie uses grief and it’s such an interesting way of handling it!

Almost every character in the film has grieved or is grieving in some aspect. And grieving doesn’t even need to mean death but just losing something.

For Kenji he’s grieving over his mother’s disappearance, his childhood lost without his father, and the fact at a young age he realized how cruel other kids were and began to put on a front that lasted well into adulthood.

Hayao’s essentially lost out on not only 20 years of being in his son’s life but also being apart from his wife. The family he was happy to create and love but it was ripped apart with the sacrifice of having to fulfill his duties as Ultraman. He was alone for 20 years.

The way the two handle grief is in different ways.

Hayao’s handling of it seems to be a lot more calmer, meditated and carefully thought of. Even if he couldn’t be in Kenji’s life physically, he collected every trophy and home video Emiko sent of his games. He was an absent father but he was a father nonetheless and why he kept his distance is still in the air but it’s so clear that he did try to be updated in his life as much as possible even if he was far away. And because of the fact he loved Kenji and wanted to protect him, it’d extend well past to adulthood where he didn’t even ask him for help in finding Emiko. Why should he ask his son to help when he’s moved away from a career he spent years building to take on the family hero role? Maybe if he finds her it’ll get Kenji to talk to him again. Maybe he should start himself but he has to find her first. But not once did he yell at Kenji.

Kenji’s is harsher and more self destructive. Purposely making himself aloof, putting on a front of being loud and arrogant, making sure he’s so untouchable no one would want to be friends with him or be close to him, all things as a response to the grief he’s felt. While Ami’s breakdown of him did imply he was always known for being this way, I can imagine it got much worse with Emiko’s disappearance. Mina said he did his best. He assumed he was the only one looking for her and he failed. So why bother being nice? Shove a photocard in a player’s hands that they might’ve sold on eBay anyway, yell at your dad for 20 years worth of pent up rage and feel like shit about it but don’t bother to try and fix it. And don’t bother to talk or ask for help from your teammates even at your lowest…it’s not gonna bring her back but being in control of something might bring in some semblance of normalcy.

however I think the one with the most destructive handling of grief is Dr. Onda. And while I agree with some criticism regarding him, I think he’s a perfect villain suited for this. And in some ways, he can be terrifying.

He lost his wife and daughter. He has no one. Unlike Kenji and Hayao where they at least had each other, he has no one.

Ultraman failed his family.

Ultraman failed him.

Ultraman still has his family.

He morphed the KDF’s structure as a result of that. Even throughout the movie he states how this isn’t what he would’ve wanted to do but he had to help families. To make sure no one goes through what he went through.

But he’s also manipulative about it.

He knows grief about losing his family to Kaijus better than anyone.

He knows that he’s not the only one. And Ultraman can’t save everyone even if they tried.

With grief you end up wanting to blame anything.

So Dr Onda chooses grieving people to work alongside him. Consistently throughout the movie he makes sure to bring up how they lost loved ones/family to Kaijus or how they have to think of their families. While we can gather he wasn’t intentionally being manipulative, at the end of the day he’s a widow who lost his family, there’s no doubt about it he’s at least aware of the impact of bringing it up.

Even when there was some doubt over how the KDF began handling Kaijus, especially when it’s shown how sentient they are with their own culture, affection and love, Dr. Onda makes sure to bring up their own families. Forget how this Kaiju is clearly protected her daughter, your own families are more important.

He’s a perfect mix of how Kenji and Hayao handle grief and shows how destructive it can be.

Using the opposite of Hayao’s handling of grief and mixing it with Kenji’s creates such a manipulative monster of grief. We can argue that he has good intentions, that he just wants Japan to be safe and for families to not lose a loved one, but the movie now presents an interesting debate of why one species is so much more important than the other. Dr. Onda, in his own grief, chooses to brush aside that for the sake of trying to do something he couldn’t do earlier for his family. Even if it means trying to kill ultraman and his son.

At the end of the day nothing he does will bring them back. But he has to hope that despite trying to tear two families apart, he’ll save everyone for the greater good. And if he dies, no one will really grieve for him because he doesn’t have anyone. So he might as well die trying.

[spyrkle4]

My thoughts on the ending of Danganronpa Despair Time Chapter 2

Man just when I think I can predict what'll happen in Drdt it throws a 180

I'm gonna hide the spoilerly stuff under the read more but first things first of my god... this was great!!! And it also makes me TERRIFIED for chapter 3 because chapter 2 was enough of an emotional rollar coaster, idk if the dev or anyone working on drdt will see this silly post bc a LOT of people have been sharing their thoughts on the ending of chapter 2 but I really enjoyed the ending

And that I don't mind if chapter 3 has a long wait bc my mental health is in shambles after this chapter

Okay now the spoilery stuff!

-First of all, I did find it interesting that the secrets (including David in his joker arc) was a bit of a red herring, the secrets weren't part of the murder/case at all, unless you count the part of Arturo threatening Eden over his secret, but after this trial EVERYONE's laundry has been aired and I wonder if that'll be touched upon in Chapter 3

-I think I've said this before but I love how the dead cast (Xander, Min, Arei, and now Ace) are just constantly mentioned, haunting the narrative, I'm pretty sure they're gonna keep that up

-Teruko having a mental breakdown after this, like homegirl spent ALL of chapter 2 trying to repress her grief over Xander and Min, but now that Arei, Ace, and potentially Levi are dead she ended up cracking, chapter 2 ending with her breaking down in the darkened trial room is heartbreakiiiing

-I read a couple posts before typing this and one of them mentioned that "MonoTV's comment about the most mastermind-y person getting punished" applied to Teruko almost being shot after telling Ace to kill MonoTV (she tried), the foreshadowing of this, like hey guys remember in chapter 1 when Ace was dragged into watching horror movies and he commented they were so scary he could've died from it :))

-Levi's really putting the L in Levi dude cant stop getting injured. but seriously I just wanna know WHY DID HE DO THAT LEVI OH MY GOD. LEVIIII

-MonoTV genuinely scared me, also the implications of who could potentially be running this show is also scaring me. and the implications that they're programmed to run this show until EVERYONE is dead.

-Not Ace's excecution being he gets psychologically tortured until its too much for his heart

-The fact it wasn't related to his talent but it was related to his constant fear of death is just evil.

-Also the way Ace goes out, before the ending I kind of thought his arc was a mirror to Arei's where that while she improved and started to trust some of the others, Ace became more cruel and distrustful, even to those still reaching out to him, he was so scared of dying that he ironically caused his own death by participating in the killing game and killing Arei

-And that he was so scared of dying, yet told MonoTV to go ahead with his execution so that the others could give Levi medical treatment and he even yells at Arturo that he CAN save Levi if he tries, dude in the end did change but sadly like Arei, he died before before being able to fully embrace that change

-also if you want to go more feral over the little details check out the names on the gravestones :))) I know at least ONE of the names is his only friend. And based his line of "I'm gonna have THREE deaths on my hands!" His friend might be deceased and he blames himself for it

-I was thinking "I sure hope the squeamish of the cast aka Charles and Rose shield their eyes during the execution" and then there was Whit's line of telling Charles to cover his eyes when Teruko is about to get shot

-Whit's sprite when the gang realize the elevators are closed is scaring me a little. its also scaring the Whit fans!

-That's all I'm gonna say about the ending, it was emotional and at least Ace was able to have some good moments before his end, I wonder what'll happen with the secrets aftermath including David causing problems on purpose, the cast realizing that the killing game is making them worse, and all the little lore that got dropped.

[chelseeebe]

do you think i have forgotten (about you)

a part two to come pick me up.

summary: eddie finds himself out of jail and right back on your doorstep. running from his past while trying desperately to fix the mess he had left you in only leads to complicated situations.

a/n: so this is actually not what i had expected to post lmfao but similar to part one i reread this in my drafts and literally fell in love.. like it needed to be posted.

18+. smut, smoking, drug and alcohol use. mentions of jail and creepy therapists. angst.. sweet sweet angst. as before, this is stevexreader however this part is way more about eddie and r.

you can’t lie. the last few months had been pretty tough, on both you and steve. through no fault of his own though.

you were just.. unwell. perhaps you always had been and the process of seeing someone you regarded as your best friend beat the shit out of someone and subsequently be jailed for it had brought all those feelings up.

‎♡‧₊˚

not to mention the emotional toll of him dipping in and out of your life and the countless other reckless shit he’d pulled you into before.

currently things were stable, yours and steve’s relationship was good, you were going to work and succeeding in being mostly sober. a little help from a short stay in a psychiatric ward and some nice new pills had you feeling semi-okay again.

it had started not long after eddie was sentenced, you’d sat in the docks of the courtroom and watched the judge bang the gavel down as he was sentenced to twenty four months. it stung knowing that he’d gotten himself in this position because you’d dared to kiss your boyfriend in front of him.

nevertheless, a few short weeks after the horrid court date you’d suffered a complete breakdown at a party. throwing anything you could get your hands on, sobbing hysterically as steve tried his best to calm you. right in front of everybody, their gawping eyes prying as you were escorted out by the police who had then issued a caution and had recommended to the judge that you needed some sort of mental health intervention.

at the time it was humiliating. the worst part being that it felt like everyone around you was walking on eggshells, trying to coddle you and tell you that it was all okay. you’d known it wasn’t. maybe it could be, but for right then, no.

coming back into the apartment and the real world had been quite frankly, awful. missing the safety of the ward, you couldn’t hurt anyone in there.

steve had been your saviour through it all. making sure he was there for every visit with a great big smile on his. he was gentle, giving you your meds, making sure you were eating and he’d even found you a job, helping you apply, christ he’d even ran through a mock interview with you, putting on a deep voice and asking you silly questions.

and do you know what?

eventually things got back to some sense of normality. braving your first gathering, trembling as you walked through the door, terrified that everyone would hate you only to find that all anyone had really cared about was making sure you were well again.

and that lands us here, finally finishing a dragging shift and traipsing home to collapse into bed to wait for steve to get home.

except, nearing the front door you notice it’s cracked open slightly. the door handle looks busted and you’re ninety percent sure that either someone was currently in your apartment or had been in and ransacked it.

you push the door open with one finger, it freaks loudly as it opens slowly, startling the intruder who curses and drops whatever they were holding.

‘you have five seconds to get the fuck out,’ you warn, creeping from behind the door frame nervously.

there’s a figure stood in the middle of the room, back turned to you who very slowly puts his hands in the air, surrendering.

he turns to face you, a shit-eating grin on his face and you finally recognise the cocky face staring back at you.

‘eddie?!’

he breathes a sigh of relief, ‘holy shit i was startin’ to think you’d moved out and i’d just broken into some strangers apartment,’ cackling as his arms outstretch to hug you.

‘what the fuck- what are you doing here? you’re supposed to be in jail!’ in utter disbelief that he was stood before you, debating whether pinching yourself would wake you up from this strange dream.

‘i got out! duh,’ he grins, making his way towards you, arms still outstretched.

‘you.. you got out? what? you’re not supposed to be out for like another year.. i don’t- i’m not understanding,’ carefully wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he pulls you into a hug.

he felt stronger, sturdy as his arms wrap around your waist. the hug lasts for what feels like an eternity until you back to properly examine his face and to once again check that you weren’t hallucinating.

‘i can’t believe you’re actually here.. how are you? i’m sorry i’ve been.. busy,’ trying to recover over the last few months had meant that you’d sorta neglected eddie, his last letter still in the clutter on your desk somewhere.. unanswered.

unfortunately for him, you’d had a few more important things to focus on. like trying not to break down and keep your relationship with steve afloat.

‘i’m good, i’m always good.. what’ve you been up to? i missed your letters,’ it was a simple statement but you’d never truly comprehend just how much receiving anything from you had meant to him, how much it kept him going.

you let go of him fully, motioning for him to take a seat, ‘it’s a super long story..’ sighing as you jam the bursted door shut, steve would have to look at it on his day off.

‘well it’s a good thing i’ve got time,’ collapsing into the cushions, making himself right at home.

-

you and eddie are sat on the couch smoking when the key turns in the door and steve walks in, looking just as exhausted as he did when he left this morning. the tiny shadow of a smile that was on his face is dropped the second he see’s eddie, replaced with a state of pure confusion.

‘what the fuck?’ he exclaims, dropping his bag onto the floor as eddie clambers off of the sofa to greet him.

steve’s face is a picture, eyebrows knitted together as eddie’s hand claps his back, ‘you’re supposed to be in prison?’

eddie pulls back, holding onto steves shoulder’s, ‘and you’re supposed to be happy to see me,’ faux-offended by steve’s confused stature.

‘no.. i am, what? why are you out?’

eddie shrugs him off, coming back to the couch, ‘ehh it’s a long story.. come.. sit, how was work, big boy?’ taking the spliff from your outstretched hand to offer to steve.

steve plonks himself down next to you, placing your legs over his thighs instead of the couch, ‘yeah.. it was alright, i’m sorry- why the fuck are you in my living room and not in federal prison?’ taking the burning joint from eddie’s fingers.

‘i got out,’ eddie offers back, the exact same thing he’d said to you. you had come to the conclusion that his departure from jail had perhaps not been entirely legal but it was way easier to brush it off rather than trying to probe him.

steve narrows his eye’s, obviously also not buying his bullshit but decides instead to smoke whatever had been handed to him, humming as he exhales a thick cloud of smoke.

‘i said that he could stay here.. just for a few days, if that’s okay?’ you ask, looking up at your boyfriend with hopeful eyes.

he pauses, contemplating if harbouring a, presumed, escaped convict was really a great idea, ‘uhh.. yeah i’m sure a few days is fine..’ he didn’t sound so sure himself.

‘thanks man,’ eddie nods, eyeing the door to his old bedroom.

the thing is, when eddie was convicted, his uncle had come to collect most of his stuff, taking it back to hawkins in his van. you’d thought he’d be locked up for at least two years so sending his things back to hawkins was the smartest idea. that meant when you guys moved out, you weren’t left to deal with his mountains of crap.

you catch him looking, feeling a tad guilty that he’d come back to nothing, ‘the bed’s still in there but.. it’s mostly storage now,’ scrunching your nose as you grimace.

‘that’s alright.. anything’s better than prison,’ he jokes, offering a saddened chuckle.

‘yeah.. exactly,’ not that you had much idea what prison was like, but from what eddie had told you, your living room floor would be an improvement.

the three of you spend a few hours right there on the couch, listening to eddie’s tales from jail, entangled with your stories of all the thing he’d missed. steve nudges you at some point, muttering something about bed which you agree with, rushing around to find eddie a spare blanket.

‘you’ll be okay in here?’ you ask, poised in the doorway.

‘yeah it’s great.. thank you,’ he smiles, sitting down on the edge of his old bed, peering around the now mostly empty room.

it felt a little suffocating if he was honest, the sheer amount of memories these blank four walls held. he swore he could hear echoes of your laugh from the times before, remembering the nights where you’d stumble back here and subsequently pass out in a heap on his bed. he shakes his head slightly, ridding himself of the thought before it got too deep.

‘okay, well.. goodnight,’ flashing him a tight-lipped smile before closing the door and making your way to your own room.

steve is stood facing the window, already stripped out of his clothes, ready for bed. he spins when he hears the door click shut, walking over to where you stood undressing with a grin, hands finding their place on your waist.

you hum at the feeling of his palms on your skin, ‘what’re you doing?’ shimmying out of your horrendous grey work trousers.

his lips softly press against the back of your neck and maybe it’s the weed or maybe it’s spite but he can’t help himself, fingers coming down to mess with the waistband of your panties. placing your hand over his to stop him from going any further.

‘we can’t,’ you hush, acutely aware that eddie was just a few doors down and would most certainly hear.

‘we can.. you’ll just have to be quiet,’ murmuring against the back of your neck, your hand doing absolutely nothing to really try and stop him. ‘can you do that for me?’

he travels further down, past the flimsy waistband, feeling his smirk widen against your skin as you sigh softly, sliding your hand onto his forearm, using it for leverage while his middle finger begins to circle your already sensitive clit.

your sex life hadn’t been what it was in the beginning, both of you busy with work and mental health crises that it was now more of a rarity to find the time. it’s not really lost on you as to why steve is so eager for it tonight but you couldn’t help but to feel at least a little turned on by this sudden bout of possessiveness.

your eyes flutter closed as he adds another finger to the equation, letting your body lean back against his bare chest, ‘my god,’ you moan softly, leaving crescent moon shapes indented in his skin.

‘hmm? is that good, baby?’ his plump, pink lips pressing gentle kisses to you neck and shoulders, teeth grazing the agile skin. he’s unforgiving and really not trying to be quiet at all.

it was definitely spite.

you can feel his erect cock against your ass, unknowingly writhing around, brushing up against him. his fingers hastily leave the safety of your now sodden underwear, manoeuvring your body to face him.

‘you’re such an asshole,’ you hush, gripping onto his arms for balance, walked backwards towards the bed.

a menacing smirk plastered on his face as he falls on top of you, knowing full well that eddie could definitely hear your soft pants and the way your lips echoed his name. stevestevesteve.

his fingers are brushing the hair from your face, making sure you were looking at him. it’s disgusting how attractive you find this. steve wasn’t usually one for such outward jealousy but you couldn’t say you hated it. legs wrapping around his torso after he had slipped your underwear off.

you don’t even attempt to conceal the whimper that ripples through your throat when he slides into your cunt. gripping onto his shoulders as the bed begins to creak, headboard knocking into the dry wall, unapologetic with his movements.

completely unashamed.

-

you’re eternally grateful that eddie doesn’t mention anything the next morning though he avoids steve’s eye and keeps his head low until he leaves for work. breathing an almost undetected sigh of relief when the door clicks shut.

the pair of spend most of the day lounging on the couch in front of the television, watching the overdue videos steve had neglected to return. the darkness eventually creeps up on you. the moon shining through the windows.

‘c’mon.. let’s go out,’ eddie nudges your knee with his, a devilish grin plastered across his face. he’d been bored shitless all day, as much as he enjoyed the mundane with you.. he wanted to go out. feel that rush through his veins as you got into something you shouldn’t.

‘i shouldn’t.. i’ve been doing good lately, it’s.. i can’t,’ sinking further into the sofa. you wanted to go out, really. but you and eddie going out alone together was a recipe for disaster.

‘and that’s why you deserve a treat.. c’mon, i know you want to,’ egging you on, now poking your knee with his finger, his other hand gripping onto the warm beer can.

you ponder for a second, pursing your lips as you weigh up the pros and cons. you don’t have to get wasted.. you could go out with eddie and be back before steve got home from work. yeah. you could do that.

‘where?’

eddie’s smile widens, he’d anticipate a hell of a lot more nagging and pleading than this, ‘fucking.. anywhere, the night is young and so are we.’

‘okay.. but, we’re having a normal night.. nothing crazy and i wanna be back here before steve is, got it?’ raising your eyebrows as you down the last sliver of wine.

‘absolutely.. whatever you want,’ eddie chuckles, slapping his knees as he stands from the couch, ‘c’mon.. get dressed.’

you stare up at him for a moment before getting up from the couch and slinking into yours and steve’s room. he wouldn’t be happy about this but if you were home and in bed before he was, he wouldn’t have much to complain about and if he did, he’d get over it.

and hey, maybe you could prove to him that you were okay now. that you were ready and able to handle things on your own.

-

everyone goes absolutely crazy when eddie walks in, almost as if he’d been locked up for a year. there are a few unhappy murmurs, worried onlookers who had been there that night.

but he doesn’t seem to care, shaking hands and chatting to everyone that came up to him. people handing him cups of mystery liquor which eventually got passed onto you.

you’re perched next to him on the couch, drinking the vile tasting liquid without a second thought. the odd person still coming up to him in shock, asking all sorts about what life was like on the inside.

and he just laughs and tell them the same generic story about earning his way and how eventually people listened to him. you doubt much of it is actually true but let him continue nonetheless. what did you know about prison?

bedsides, you’d seen the scars that now littered his knuckles and forearms. how his muscles had grown and the way his nose now bent slightly to the left. he must’ve done something to earn them.

your head is pretty fuzzy the first time the plate full of mystery white powder is passed around. respectfully declining and mumbling about sticking to drink.

but by the second time it comes your way, you’re glancing down at the porcelain with eager eyes. one tiny line couldn’t hurt, right? you still had plenty of time to sober up and get home before steve.

so you pick up the rolled up note, eddie’s eyes watching like a hawk, ‘hey.. you sure?’ his own jaw clenching from his previous line.

‘it’s fine,’ you nod reassuringly, holding one nostril and sniffing the pre-cut line, sniffing harshly. you’d forgotten how much it stung, making your eyes water as you pass the plate onwards.

you sit back into the couch, watching as the conversation roars around you. waiting for that sweet, sweet feeling when it finally hit.

and oh boy, does it.

one second you’re sat on the couch and the next you’re pulling eddie up onto his feet, trying to make him dance along to the pounding music with you. it all sounded so good. your body warm and loose. heart pounding in your chest as the beat vibrates through your limbs.

you’re not sure how long you’re dancing for, keeping your eyes closed while other people start getting up to join you.

not even questioning the second line when it re-emerges. still slowly sipping on what was now a dark liquor, bitter in taste, burning your throat on the way down.

eddie’s hand gingerly touches your waist causing you to pull your eyes to him. he’s dancing too, clutching onto the beer bottle, pupils dilated as they cling to you. cling to your body. moving in time with his.

everything’s a little blurry but you keep your eyes steady on eddie, smiling as the music distorts in your ears. it sounded robotic and weird but still had you wiggling your hips in time with the odd beat.

his other hand meets your waist, more confidently this time, pulling your body towards his. you think nothing of it, focussed on moving in time to the music.

eddie’s hand moves up to cup your cheek, the party bleating on around you as he tips your chin up towards his. a soft smile on his face as your eyes meet his fully.

the next few seconds happen so quickly that you’re not even sure if it actually happened.

his lips crash against yours, pressing himself to your chest, hand clinging to your cheek. he’s desperate with it, hungry and insatiable.

the magic dust you’d just inhaled must have softened your inhibitions because you’re kissing him back. palm pressed against his chest, fingers curling into his t-shirt.

until you finally realise exactly what you’re doing.

pulling yourself away from him, stumbling backwards as you blink up at him. had you actually just kissed him? no, why the fuck had he kissed you?

‘what the fuck are you doing?’ you exclaim, mind still hazy under the influence of whatever narcotics they were passing around.

your stomach twists. steve was probably sat at home waiting for you to get back, worried sick about where you’d gone. all the while you’re kissing his best friend at a party he had no idea was happening. it makes your stomach twist, guilt coursing through your chest.

you back away from eddie, tripping over another party goers outstretched legs as you go. head pounding, hands tingling. everything surrounding you had become a massive blur of flashing lights and distorted faces.

‘fuck.. wait!’ eddie calls out from the living room but you’re already gone, pushing past the gaggle of people in the hallway as you fumble for the doorknob.

the cold air hitting you the second the door is open, you hadn’t brought a jacket. or had you? you can’t really remember.

there are people strewn across the front yard, watching as you stumble down the path, fumbling for your phone in you pocket. the letters all jumble into one as you click through searching for steve's contact. slamming the green button the second you recognise the slight curve of the s.

he answers on the first ring, ‘hello? where are you?’ you’d missed the tens of missed calls from his number.

‘i’m.. i don’t know,’ sobbing into the receiver as one of the onlookers from the party approaches you, ‘where are we?’

from what you can make out, it’s a young girl, she looks worried as she takes the phone from your hand and places it to her ear, telling steve whatever street you were on. her spare hand reaches out to rub your back, keeping you close to her body as steve fucking sprints from your apartment to the address.

eddie makes absolutely zero attempts to try and find you, assuming that you’d already run off home. fuck it, he was out now. might as well prolong the inevitable argument with steve for as long as possible.

when steve arrives, he’s practically frantic, taking you from the kind girl as he leads you off home. his arm keeping your body held upright as you wail the entire way home.

‘steve..’ you sniffle, being guided into the empty apartment, ‘we kissed- eddie kissed me.. i didn’t mean to, i promise,’ clinging onto his neck as you’re lead into your bedroom.

he’s weirdly silent, placing you gently onto the bed, taking off your shoes before sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

‘have you taken anything?’ he questions, choosing to ignore your confession, for his own sanity mostly.

you nod into the pillow, sprawled out on the mattress as the room spins around you. it’s dizzying, and not just the room spinning but the fact that steve was still so gentle even after your admission.

‘what? what d’you take?’

‘i don’t know.. coke i think.’

he nods, swallowing the growing fury in his throat, ‘i’ll get you some water, try and sleep yeah?’

he goes to get up but you’re already grabbing onto his forearm, keeping him firmly on the bed, ‘don’t go.. please,’ your voice hoarse from the party.

god, you thought. you sound utterly pitiful, ashamed that even after all he had done for you, you couldn’t hold your shit together on your own and were still relying on steve.

‘okay,’ he whispers, kicking his shoes off and swinging his legs over and onto the bed, sitting up on the pillows rather than joining you properly.

his arm snakes around your back, lifting your body ever so slightly to slide his arm under, pulling you onto his warm chest. stubbly chin coming to rest atop of your head.

you nestle your head into his cotton shirt, ‘i love you,’ head rising with every breath he took, closing your eyes and attempting to fall asleep despite the fact it felt like there was something stabbing into the side of your brain.

-

steve’s sat, deadpanned on the couch when eddie attempts to creep back in. startled by his presence in the darkened room. by this time, the birds had begun to chirp as the first rays of sunlight crept through the blinds.

‘shit man..’ eddie clutches his chest, ‘you scared me,’ he fumbles his way through the room, still pretty intoxicated, lips sore from chewing on them all night.

steve blinks, scrunching up his face as the other boy takes a seat next to him. eddie’s sure he knows. you had definitely told him. jesus christ, why wouldn’t you? he fucked up. again.

‘you can’t stay here anymore,’ steve states, stoic.

he wasn’t letting much on here. eddie almost wishes he’d just beat his ass and get it over with at least it’d be better than this creepy shit he had going on.

‘bro.. i’m sorry, i was fucked up.. i don’t know what the hell i was doing,’ he’s staring wide-eyed at steve who’s staring straight ahead, jaw tense, ‘shit, punch me if you want.. god knows i’d deserve it.’

‘i don’t care,’ steve presses his tongue to the back of his teeth, ‘you come back and you fuck everything up.. do you know how hard i’ve tried to help her.. all these meds and doctors appointments,’ steve’s shoulder’s slump, ‘fuck man, i even had to take her to this creepy ass therapist and try not to beat the shit out of him every time i dropped her off.. d’you know how hard that was?’ he sounds desperate now, dropping the weird, unsettling facade, turning to eddie with a genuine look of hurt upon his face.

eddie’s mouth opens to reply, but he has nothing to say. hasn’t a clue how to answer that because he didn’t know. yeah, you’d told him about it and how steve hadn’t left your side throughout it all but he had no idea that this was how steve had felt.

‘no,’ steve scoffs, ‘no you don’t know.. because you weren’t there,’ he sighs before continuing, ‘you didn’t have to watch the love of your life be dragged away because some judge had deemed her crazy. you weren’t there week in, week out in that hospital.. helpless.’

steve wouldn’t ever think of you as a burden but fuck, he needed to tell literally anyone the shit he had bottled up and eddie was now the (un)willing participant to catch the brunt of his frustration.

eddie swallows, staring out into the dark room, ‘i didn’t know.. i’m sorry,’ he’s scrambling now, trying to think of something, anything to say that could help, but he can’t. in steve’s eyes, he’s the one who continually seems to ruin shit for you. ruin you.

‘so no, i don’t want to hit you because you kissed my girlfriend but i do want to fucking kill you for coming in here and messing her up all over again,’ steve spits, his words like venom as they hit eddie square in the face.

any traces of intoxication had been pummelled from his body, head beginning to pound from the impending hangover, chest heavy under the weight of steve’s words.

his eyes squeeze shut. he was a fuck up and he knew it. he wasn’t sure why he’d even done it. you just looked so pretty and blissful and.. and you’d smiled at him the way you used to and he’d thought that maybe that had meant something. the few seconds that you’d kissed him back had felt like euphoria, for the first time in so long everything felt right again.

steve interrupts his train of self-pitying thought by standing from the couch, turning to walk away but pauses, ‘i’ll help you find somewhere tomorrow.. maybe nance n’ all will let you stay,’ and even through all of this steve couldn’t help but be kind to the man.

that’s what hit eddie the hardest, that even though he had hurt his best friend.. he was still stood in front of him throwing him a line and offering a sense of patience and understanding that eddie hadn’t felt in far too long.

he watches in silence as steve slinks off to your shared bedroom, head hanging low in utter shame. he’d never admit aloud, and especially not to steve, but the thought of you was the one thing getting him through his sentence.

the first few months were pretty rocky, having to prove himself time and time again, resulting in a multitude of different injuries but at the end of the day, he’d climb into his bunk and re-read the letters you’d sent. thumbing the pages until they were yellowed and worn. the mere thought of you still thinking about him was enough to make him get out of bed each morning.

he peers down at his scarred hands, tracing over the glistening white indentations. they all told their own individual story, the big one that ran across the large part of his hand was the worst after being slashed with a makeshift shiv during a fight. he was quite lucky really, his hand had taken the majority of the damage and had meant he wasn’t left to bleed out on the floor.

so he’d gotten stitches, kept his mouth shut and things had started to change. and yet still, every night he’d go to bed thinking of your face, telling himself that it wasn’t long to go.

you were his saving grace. the only thing that had stopped him slipping into darkness. he’d thought about it plenty, hurting himself or one of the douchebag inmates he shared the small space with. at least that way he’d get moved into solitary, maybe he’d even prove himself to the other guys.

-

you keep quiet when steve comes into your bedroom, unsure of whether to let him know you had practically heard their entire conversation. the mattress dips when he gets into bed, exhaling softly and making sure the blanket is covering both of you.

he sits in silence for a moment, you can feel his eyes burning into your face before he eventually settles in and lies back on the pillow.

‘are you mad at me?’ you squeak, gazing at him from tired eyes.

your voice startles him, so sure that you were still asleep but he answers quickly, ‘no, never,’ turning on his side to face you, inches from your face. it felt so intimate like this, vulnerable.

‘i heard what you said.. i’m sorry for..’ your bottom lip wobbles and you try hard to blink away the brimming tears, ‘for putting you through that.’

he’s immediately comforting you, placing a warm hand on your sodden cheek, ‘you’re okay.. it’s okay, you didn’t do anything,’ steve’s gut twisted, he hadn’t meant for you to hear any of it and the thought of you feeling guilty for eddie’s sake pricked at his heart.

you nod, not completely believing his words but for the sake of not causing a problem so early in the morning, deciding to just accept it. no matter how much it had been parroted to you, there was no accepting that none of this was your fault.

‘it’s just the way your brain is wired,’ dr. foster had said during one of your sessions, ‘but i’m here to make it all better,’ his eyes were narrowed, carefully watching you from his leather chair.

the memory alone makes you shudder, he’d been all for this authentic, organic approach.. hosting the sessions in his home and perhaps at times, becoming a little too familiar. his hand patting your knee as you spoke, asking creepy questions about your relationship with steve and overstepping a shit ton of boundaries. he had these icy blue eyes that lingered on yours for too long, there was something deeply unsettling about the way they narrowed when steve was mentioned. the utter anger they held when you brought up eddie. oh no, he really didn’t like eddie.

he’d been the one to suggest that you slow down with the letters to eddie, telling you that focusing on recovery was more important. it had worked in his favour anyway, the letters becoming the least of your concerns as you navigated recovery.

nonetheless, he didn’t last long. you were still in that mellow adjustment period, getting used to the meds when steve had informed you that dr. foster was no longer going to be your therapist. something about a conflict of schedules but you weren’t sure how true that really was.

-

it had been a few weeks since you’d last seen eddie, unsure of where he was or what trouble he’d gotten himself into. maybe even a minuscule part of you was hoping that he’d got himself arrested, at least that way you’d know he was safe inside and not wrecked in a ditch somewhere.

for the most part, you’d managed to put him to the back of your mind. it was only when things got quiet did you worry about him. deep down, you knew it was for the best. you couldn’t be around him without that niggling voice in the back of your head creeping back up. there was too much history there.

and steve had been so wonderful. you’re not sure you’d ever felt love like this. so transparent and pure, so void of expectations that he could see you at your worst and still be just as content to love you.

it all makes your heart ache, were you enough for steve even when you were like this? he had bore witness to the most horrific times of your life and yet, he’d be there everyday with a smile on his face and an open heart prepared for whatever that day may bring.

he’d taken the day off of work to purely spend it with you. granted, you’d only wanted to sit on the couch and watch a bunch of terrible movies with him but it was good enough. you’re not sure how long you’ve now been on this couch, but you knew it was late as the street lights glimmer that harsh orange through the blinds.

this film has you falling asleep, steve’s pick, obviously. you’d slid down the couch to rest your head on his lap, eyelids weighing heavy as sleep threatens to take over.

until you’re both startled by the incessant banging on the door, fist pummelling into the already brittle wood. your head snaps upward towards steve, pouting at the rude awakening. who on earth could find the need to pound the door at this time?

‘you expectin’ anyone?’ steve asks curiously, sliding your head from his thigh, very cautiously getting off of the couch to answer the door.

‘no? robin, maybe?’ unless robin had turned into a rabid zombie, you were sure it probably wasn’t her on the other side.

steve peers through the peep hole, seemingly taken aback but what or whoever he sees on the other side, ‘shit..’ cursing under his breath as he slides the chain from the door, opening it just slightly.

‘what?’ petrified by his reaction, sitting up on the couch to prepare for the impending insanity on the other side.

‘jesus man.. what are you doing here?’ he’s pushed aside as what looks like one eddie munson barges through the door, gasping for air and looking worse for wear.

he’s clutching his knees, doubled over as he tries to catch his breath, ‘i fucking.. ran the whole way here..’

if you’re being honest, he looks terrible. hair limp as it hangs around his face, clothes dirtied and you can’t see his face properly but you’re sure there’s a shiner of a bruise on his cheek.

‘what are you doing? what’s wrong?’ you fret, swinging your legs over the side of the couch as steve closes the door, bolting it up again in hopes that whatever eddie was running from was not following him.

he exhales before standing up straight, wiping the sweat from his forehead, ‘i need your help.. both of you,’ looking to steve who was stood with his hand on his hip, concerned about the inevitable mess eddie had just welcomed back into your lives.

‘why? where have you been?’

the last you’d heard from him, nancy had, very reluctantly, agreed to let him stay in their couch for a few days until he got himself sorted. but they’d woken up the next morning to find that he was no longer on said couch, not a trace of him left behind. he was completely unreachable, no phone, no idea where he had escaped off to and absolutely no one had seen or heard from him.

initially it had been a frenzy to try and find him until you collectively realised that he didn’t want to be found this time. and you had to mourn him all over again.

‘steve, d’you still know how to make fakes?’ completely ignoring your question, blinking at a puzzled steve.

your eyes flit to steve, unaware that he apparently had a history in counterfeit goods. perhaps a crucial bit of information he’d glossed over there.

‘not anymore.. what the fuck do you need that for?’

‘you know anyone that does? i’m desperate man.. i- i’ll pay,’ eddie pants, ‘name your price,’ chest heaving as he stands in the middle of your living room. he felt out of place here now, stuck out like a sore thumb.

steve ponders for a second, ‘uhh.. i dunno, maybe.. what’ve you done?’ sighing softly.

‘i need to leave the country.. i fucked up.. big time,’ eyes flitting to you with a certain sadness. even now, he didn’t want to disappoint you yet it seemed to be all he could do.

‘what’ve you done?’ you press, chewing on the inside of your cheek. mind running to the worst possibly conclusion. murder wasn’t out of the equation if you were honest.

eddie runs a dirtied, ringed hand over his face, ‘you know how i’m kinda s’posed to be in jail right now?’ it was already glaringly obvious that he hadn’t been released early.

‘yeah..’

‘well, i uh- i paid some guys off, they said they could get me out.. get me away from here,’ only now is he realising how fucking stupid that sounded.

‘eddie.. what?’ you exclaim, astonished by the sheer stupidity he constantly displayed. you’d thought that maybe he’d have learnt something from jail, that was the point of it, wasn’t it? learn from your mistakes and better yourself.

‘look, it doesn’t matter.. they’re asking for more money and i don’t have it,’ he says exasperated, ‘i need to disappear.. just for a little while, til they forget about it,’ eyes steady on you, as if to seek your approval.

you blink, where was he even planning to go? were you just never going to see him again?

‘i can’t get you outta the country but.. i might have a friend that can help,’ steve’s voice pipes up, tearing your eyes from eddie to look at him.

‘how?’ you exclaim, wondering what other things he had kept secret from you.

‘my friend’s out in california.. i think he’d put you up there,’ nodding at eddie, he probably didn’t deserve this kindness but steve couldn’t just leave him stranded. there was too much history to ever turn his back on his friend, even now, after everything, he was still holding his hand out for eddie.

‘that’d be.. fuck, that’d be.. good,’ eddie nods along, appreciative of anything you could do for him. turning to meet your gaze once more.

he knows this is it.

there wasn’t any coming back from this. no next time. it was california or it was death. and he sure as shit wasn’t a fan of the second option.

you think, deep down, that you know it too.

the likelihood of seeing him again is next to nothing. if he didn’t get himself killed, he’d certainly never be coming back here. this wasn’t for him, never had been really. well, maybe once upon a time when you looked at him without that sadness in your eye it had been.

when he thought back to it, he was sure the he knew you’d never loved him, he’d just been pretending for so long that his mind had played tricks on him, made him believe it. that’s why he’d lashed out that night, he’d convinced himself that you were in love with him. but you weren’t, and his heart had realised that fact quicker than his head had.

steve disappears into your bedroom in search of his phone, leaving you two alone in the living room. everything you want to say stays unsaid. heavy as it lingers between you. there’s not really much you can say in this moment that wouldn’t make things worse.

instead, you just nod.

as if to say that he could go. he could let you go.

eddie understands. but he’s not sure he ever will.

[potionorchard]

I love your character analysises! More food please

Do you have any thoughts on Alastor and the future direction of his character arc ?

Omgosh! Thank you very much, anon! I always feel like I have trouble articulating myself on what I want to say about characters I love, so it means so much!

Alastor, huh? This is quite funny because while I love EVERY single character of Hazbin, if you noticed my blog, then you probably guessed my mental real estate has been devoted to observing every second of the 10 minute collective screen time of the Vees and Lute/Adam.

That said, I love Alastor. My wife and best friends love Alastor and maybe there is something I can add to the conversation here.

In terms of Alastor and his future arc, one of my friends, @misstrashchan (who I regret tagging because she's gonna see my cringe blog again, dammit, don't look but her writing and analysis on fandom things are amazing, go look at her), is the one who pointed out to me the significance of Alastor being a deer.

It's something I didn't often think about but him being a deer speaks to the duality of his character.

You see, Alastor is a POWERHOUSE of an Overlord. He's terrifying, does as he seemingly pleases, cannibalistic, always seems to have a solution on hand against anyone who tries to stand in his way (be it Vox or even LUCIFER HIMSELF). But on the flipside, a deer is also known to be a creature that is often victimized or vulnerable.

And that's what I think S2 may explore with Alastor: his vulnerabilities. His weaknesses. Who controls and possibly victimizes him (or makes him feel like a victim).

Season One did this incredible job of speaking about Alastor's power. About how terrifying Alastor truly is from how everyone reacts to him and his status and from Mimzy's tale of his arrival in Hell. We can, of course, harken back to the rumors Vaggie spoke of in the pilot as well.

That's all well and good, but you know what else Season One of Hazbin showed us?

Just how insecure and vulnerable Alastor may truly be.

When Zestial questions Alastor on his whereabouts for the last seven years and even gets a jab in about him working with Charlie, Alastor quickly and coolly deflects, being like, "No, no, just a temporary sabbatical. What are other people saying about me?" Something that seems to bemuse Zestial as they walk together. He even overinflated himself at the Overlord meeting, stating that Carmilla and the others must be wondering where he's been (only for her to assure him... not really.).

Then let's get to the meat and potatoes. Dad Beat Dad. Episode Five has Lucifer, a source of DEFINITE power and status show up at the hotel and Alastor's first move is to establish himself as the heart of the hotel and why it's going to be successful. Sure, he doesn't like Lucifer, but he's the one swinging first. He moves in quickly to show everyone he can stand toe to toe with the literal King of Hell, to show that he's just as powerful. He is, isn't he? When Mimzy interrupts the song and the situation, he again plays it cool (especially around someone who knew him in his human life) but Husker can quickly spot that Alastor is thrown off. But again, Alastor keeps up appearances, threatens and mistreats Husker (how lovely, haha, it's like all the Overlords are bastards), and reasserts himself as soon as the loan sharks show up to show off his power.

"It's time to remind everyone of why I'm here."

And let's hop to the Finale where he's so (rather easily) defeated by Adam. Adam even breaks the source of his power, his microphone, the object that gives Alastor his voice. And Alastor, defeated, flees. On TV, on all of Vox's cameras. No wonder Alastor is having a breakdown in the final song! Everyone saw him, supposedly one of the more powerful, mysterious and infallible Overlords, get beaten so thoroughly and flee. It was a good day for the Vees/Vox is what I'm saying.

Okay, I tried to cover everything about Alastor's vulnerable moments. So what does this mean about him and I what I think his future arc is about?

Well, I think S2 will dive more into his backstory, who is truly is and what he wants. Ah yes. What does Alastor want? If the last song is anything to go by, he wants to be the one "who's pulling all the strings". But what does that mean for him? To be in charge and in control of Hell? To kill and slaughter as he pleases? I certainly couldn't say... yet.

But Alastor is scared. He's vulnerable. He's insecure. We can joke all we like about how blatant Vox is about how insecure about power he and the Vees are, but Alastor is just a different side of the same coin. Unlike Vox, however, he's just better at hiding it. I once saw a post about how The Vees are all talk behind flashy things that show off their power while Alastor and his actions prove he's the real deal. But as Husk says, he's on a leash too. He's putting on just as much of a front.

Oh yes. I think S2 of Hazbin Hotel will bring Alastor to new and different lows with himself now that's S1 has established the cracks among his surface. I think we'll see Alastor getting more desperate to reassert and reassure his power to others while also juggling whatever affection he feigns for Charlie (which might not be entirely fake... it seems some true affection may be leaking in).

Let's go back to Vox and the Vees for a second as well. It's no secret that the Vees are slated to the big villains of next season, in particular, Vox (who is noted to be much more manipulative and smart than he appears). And it's clear Alastor and Vox have a deep kind of history together that illuminates their knowledge of each other. After all, Alastor is perceptive and bold to proclaim that Vox wouldn't be anything without his reliance on Valentino and Velvette, something Vox immediately denied. We can joke about Vox having the homoerotic obsession and pining for Alastor while the radio demon clearly never felt the same, but I'd wager that Vox knows Alastor quite well too...after all, what was the final line in Episode Two?

"You'll have to do better than that, *old pal*!"

Vox and Alastor have a defined history and you can bet, we're gonna have major revelations about that and Alastor's first moves down in Hell too. Whether that'll all come out in S2 though? Who's to say? I can't see the future.

Alright, that's about all my thoughts on the larger scope of Alastor's arc and what I think we will see. Here's a few smaller questions/thoughts I have:

-Perhaps Alastor's asexual identity will be brought more into the forefront as he seemed partially unaware of it when Rosie brought it up. Of course, he could simply be confused at her joke. The old timer! XD But I think it would be interesting to explore it. So much of the Ace community adores Alastor, so it's something I wonder about.

-In Episode Two, Valentino says something akin to "Someone who owes us much more than money... the radio demon is there..." with a chuckle. It's a small line, but I wonder what Val believes Alastor owes them. Noticeably both Val and Vox have broken antenna. Clearly, the two have been through something together, and a good bet I have is that Alastor may just be to blame.

-Alastor and Charlie. He muscled his way in to becoming this manipulative influence in Charlie's world, now he's gotta sit with the consequences with his new adopted daughter figure. Haha! I do think there's a lot showing that despite his intentions, Alastor is definitely fond of Charlie. He's using her but he's also reaching out (sometimes literally in the case of offering his mic to her in Ep 7) and giving her a more powerful voice.

- Husker and Niffty. We saw how Husker fell into Alastor's clutches and it's clear Husk despises him for how he's treated and bonds with Angel for his abuse under Val. But we don't know the story about Niffty and how she came to work under Alastor or what their history is. They seem to have a friendlier relationship than Husk does with Alastor, but this could just be because of their similar bloodlust and intensity/whimsy. I wonder if we'll get more of these complicated relationships in S2.

Alrighty, that's everything I can put into the conversations on Alastor and where his character goes from here. Tl;dr: He's powerful, but not infallible, and he's putting on a front, and I think he will get his shit wrecked in S2 quite a bit! I'm so excited! Whoohoooo! More vulnerable Alastor!

[sleepingdeath-light]

TOH WITH A IMMORTAL READER!

Okay so this wasn’t a specific request or anything so I’m just going to answer here with how I think each character would cope with having an immortal significant other. This got very long as I included basically everyone that’s on my masterlist… oops!

Also, to reiterate, these are just my thoughts so they’re very biased towards how I interpret the characters — and your relationship with the characters can be romantic or queer-platonic or similar depending on your preference!

Thoughts below the cut!

Adrian Graye-Vernworth

doesn’t even remotely believe you at first and will probably assume you’re joking. but once he does recognise your honesty then he’ll probably have something of a breakdown for a while and step back from your relationship — equal parts jealous of the life you’ve lived and horrified at the idea of just being a blip on the radar of your infinite life. it’s 50/50 whether this is a dealbreaker for him and he’ll either slowly inch back into your relationship or just break up with you because of the stress.

Alador Blight

alador is mostly neutral to your immortality when it comes to your relationship. like he’ll call on you for a second opinion when he’s working on something and will draw on your experience to further help his fellow witches — but he doesn’t really think about it any beyond that. though he does sometimes worry about you and how you’ll cope when he’s gone (because he knows that losing you would break him).

Amity Blight

when you tell her it’s quite the shock to the system and she doesn’t really know what to say or how to react. she’ll freeze up and you can see her thinking as she considers her response before she finally squeezes your hands and thanks you for telling her. she’d want to stay with you and wouldn’t want to break up, but she’d definitely have a few crises over the fact that you’ve lived so long before her and you will live so long after — but she also finds a small bit of comfort in the idea that she’ll never have to live without you.

Belos / Philip Wittebane

he’s been alive for far longer than he ever should have been because of his mission, so the idea of immortal entities isn’t difficult for him to believe. so upon finding out about your condition, he’s amazed but not necessarily startled by it — asking you about your origins and if there are more beings like you out there. if he truly cares about you, he’ll stick by you for as long as he’s able to keep his form stable — but if he doesn’t then he’ll just use you to find a way to complete his goal and lengthen his life further.

Boscha

boscha is someone else who wouldn’t believe you when you told her — going from genuine disbelief to shaky doubt to outright terrified denial and then through the stages of grief as she comes to terms with your condition. as sad as it sounds, this would probably end up being a deal breaker and would end your relationship as she would struggle too much with your past and future to be with you beyond that.

Camila Noceda

she doesn’t believe you at first, thinking that you’re just older than her as she’s seen some strange things but immortality is just so far beyond that. it takes her some time to come to terms with this but you do end up bonding over the losses you’ve experienced throughout your lives — you, your various lovers and friends, and her, luz’s father. she insists on learning your native language and teaching you hers so that you have an experience to remember her by.

Collector

having an immortal significant other would be the best case scenario for collector given his own life span. they wouldn’t have to worry about losing you prematurely and you’d be able to understand the issues he’s faced throughout their long life — whilst also having all the time in the world to grow with him and together as a couple. so they would be hopeful to have a spouse with this trait.

Darius Deamonne

this wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for darius but he would have a serious, long conversation about where you both stand and how your experiences would impact your relationship. he wouldn’t necessarily ask about your past relationships but he would be curious about older ages of magic on the isles and how other realms function — and especially how that can help the rebellion against belos.

Eberwolf

they’re pretty chill about the whole thing, honestly — like it rarely ever comes up in conversation so there’s no real impact on your relationship. you two just continue vibing together and spending the time you have wisely (by having fun) without the stresses such a realisation often bring. really they’re the best person you could have told — they only bring it up once or maybe twice and it’s only to make fun of you (lovingly, of course).

Eda Clawthorne

your immortality means that you have more knowledge of the world before belos and, thus, wild magic and magic as a whole. this means that eda will be looking to you to learn more about the owl beast, the history of those like her and if you ever came to know others with similar curses. she’d also insist on you teaching her about the people you loved and she’ll happily talk about raine (she’s far from the jealous type, but she is something of a gossip). she doesn’t care about making scrapbooks or taking pictures and prefers living in the moment with you and your family — living in the ‘doing’ world rather than focusing on capturing every little thing. you’ll look back on this with king and fleetingly wish you had more pictures, but the memory of her laugh and smile is tangible enough that neither of you feel like you’re missing out on too much.

Edric Blight

he will probably have something of an existential crisis about his own mortality when you tell him and would insist on finding a way to make himself live as long as you do. he starts comparing himself to the people you loved and lost and you’ll end up having to talk him into getting some help for it. your relationship will be permanently changed by this, but you will grow and heal with time — it’s just such a shock for him that he takes a bit of a mental health wobble whilst he comes to terms with it.

Emira Blight

em tends to bottle up her feelings a lot and will initially come off as very accepting and calm about the whole thing — but make no mistake this poor woman is one mislabelled jar of seasoning away from a breakdown. she’s now very aware of her own mortality and that she’s one of the probably dozens you’ve loved and lost and she’s absolutely terrified of being forgotten and lost to the sands of time. she’ll insist on keeping thorough, reliable records of your time together and by the time she’s old and you’re young you’ll be spending your last days together looking over them and laughing and crying and holding each other — finally ready to say goodbye.

Gus Porter

he will bombard you with questions about your life nonstop. did you ever live in the human realm? how has it changed? how has the boiling isles changed? there’s so much he wants to know and he has all the time in the world to listen to you talk — and he will note down everything you say and look at you with complete interest. so yeah he’ll still love you just as much as before, he’s just very nosy and eager to learn.

Hunter Wittebane

hunter is someone that would likely have a few hang-ups regarding true- and pseudo- immortality given his status as a clone/grimwalker. he’d have to do a lot of thinking regarding your relationship once he found out and a lot of serious conversations would be had about his natural lifespan compared to yours. in the end you would stay together and he’d be with you for a significant period of it (a few hundred years given him being similar to palismen) with him insisting that you don’t bring him back once he’s gone.

Lilith Clawthorne

she’d be absolutely entranced by your condition and would start fangirling over everything you must have experienced. you’ll end up getting interviewed and documented in every way possible as she asks about your history in and beyond the isles. though she might spend a bit more time on the deadwardian period than anything else (she’s biased, okay!).

Luz Noceda

luz would be amazed with you and would be eager to learn your story — as well as just about everything about you. she wants to learn your native language and hear about the cultures and people you knew throughout the years, especially if it involves some form of magic. she does, however, insist on making lots of memories with you and recording them so you never forget her.

Mattholomule

another one that doesn’t believe you but in mattholomule’s case he never ends up believing you. in his mind you’re just making a weird joke and there comes a point where you just stop trying to correct him and just live your life out with him — watching him grow old and grey whilst you remain the same. it’s on his death bed when he finally realises, but the life you shared was full of laughter and love so neither of you find it in yourselves to complain.

Odalia Blight

she is the type to use your status to her advantage which means that your relationship dynamic would inevitably shift. like she’d still care about you and be as affectionate as before, but she insists on showing you off and presenting herself as the wife of an immortal being in order to put herself above her fellow witches. you can tell her to knock it off. it will not work.

Raine Whispers

raine is heartbroken for you when they realise just how much you’ve lost throughout your life and they insist on memorialising your lost loved ones however they can. they help you write ballads for deceased lovers and learn to play songs from your home (even if their pronunciation is very shaky) because they care so deeply about you. they don’t talk about their concerns often, but they do ask that you remember them — and they leave you plenty of songs behind to do so.

Steve

as he’s quite possibly the most chilled out person in the boiling isles, steve doesn’t really care about the fact that you’re immortal. like when you tell him he’ll ask you a few questions about yourself and your past, but otherwise your relationship will stay the same and he’ll keep on keeping on. might expect the occasional cool story from your past, though, when you’ve both been drinking some apple blood.

Terra Snapdragon

she will most likely treat this as an opportunity to gain more power through your relationship. like she does care for you as you are her spouse at the end of the day, but she’s also incredibly power-hungry and having a partner who is immortal and has more experience than basically every other living entity is the ideal opportunity for her to get what she wants. so she definitely wouldn’t leave you, but the dynamic between the two of you would definitely change.

Viney

this wouldn’t be the end of your relationship but it would change a lot. viney insists on the two of you continuing to live in the moment together, focusing on making lasting memories doing things that you both love so that you never forget her. that means frequent fun dates, time spent teaching as a team, helping everyone you can and just spending time together doing what you love and having as much fun as you can whilst doing so.

Willow Park

willow is shocked by the revelation of your immortality but she doesn’t make too much of a big deal of it. like she will sit down with you and discuss anything you want to talk about, but generally your relationship remains unchanged. the only change is that she starts writing letters for you and hiding them — wanting to leave something behind for you once she’s gone.

[thornfield13713]

Oh, brilliant, shout at the girl having a very obvious breakdown. I'm sure that'll make everything better.

Joyce, I can sort of understand - she's out of her depth, and scared, and she and Buffy seem to have in common the instinct to lash out when backed into a corner, when they feel vulnerable and overwhelmed and terrified of loss.

Willow- is at least doing her best. Her best isn't great, but she's trying to get across that she loves and misses her best friend and that she wants to have Buffy around, even if she's not great at it, and she is angry, which she's allowed to be even if it maybe isn't the fairest response. Especially as she's also lacking context for why Buffy maybe doesn't feel like she has Willow in her corner right now.

Xander, on the other hand, I would quite like to drag behind a car right now, because he is just being a truly unspeakable prick. You want to talk about selfish and stupid? Not telling the girl who has to save the world about all the factors at play because of your own self-righteous sense of what ought to happen was both. Arranging this whole party to avoid Buffy when she was clearly going through a rough time and not up to it yet was also selfish and stupid. Xander may get the brunt of my rage here. I think it's the 'I'm wise and know better than you' tone when he's talking utter bollocks. Sadly, this never goes away.

And- I'm sorry, boy troubles? Buffy just had to kill someone she loved. Partially because of Xander and his high-handed decision to not tell her that the curse was being re-cast. Angel might've been a godawful piece of work, but she loved him, and killing him traumatised her, and that's on top of being kicked out of school, framed for murder, and then thrown out of her own home!

Cordelia- is at least making an effort, but doing it in typically blunt fashion, though if one more person blames Buffy for the Angelus thing, I am going to start biting people. But she is still making more of an effort to empathise with why Buffy might've done what she did than any of the people Buffy would normally consider her closest friends, and that's just...sad.

[jayviknation]

I have one person in my life to be feral about arcane with so I’ve decided to take up writing here again! Any comments or tips welcome 🥹

✨ Jayce Talis Headcannon’s✨

- [ ] Favorite Color-

Brown! Not just any brown; a deep sultry chocolate brown with a smooth wooden undertone (if you ask him he’ll say red because he doesn’t wanna defend himself for having the “worst” favorite color)

- [ ] Loner kid -

you cannot convince me this man wasn’t the kid that would let his friends pick on him just so he would have a friend group. (Think Thompson from Gravity Falls) He has forever wanted someone to connect to and cherishes Viktor even more for that reason

- [ ] Mommy’s boy -

This one is more self explanatory - he was just absoltuely running to his mom anytime anything happened to him as a kid

- [ ] Following with the family theme eldest sibling energy -

I couldn’t find anything that pointed to Jayce having siblings or being an only child but he just radiates older brother energy with everything in him (love his and cait’s sibling relationship 🙏🏻)

- [ ] Has a sweet tooth

I love to picture this man at 3 AM deep in equations with Viktor breaking the dead silence and concentration with the crisp snap of a Kit Kat as loud as possible (Viktor acts like he hates this but constantly buys him more)

- [ ] Love type - PHYSICAL AFFECTION

Another self explanatory but with romantic partners or friendships this man is a LOVER. Hugs, hand holds, shoulder taps, waist holds, this man needs his hands anywhere but his own body

- [ ] Loves Spiders - Scared of Bugs

I like to think that Jayce as a kid was terrified of spiders but was teased a lot about it so he started keeping spiders as a kid and helped developed a fascination and appreciation for them, bugs on the other hand? He doesn’t want anything crawling on him with that many legs ever (all his clothing is tight fitting so if something is under his clothes it’s about to be a battle)

- [ ] Diva about fashion

He absolutely dresses himself and Viktor but also owns many magazine catalogs about what’s currently in style for leisure reading (possible catalog names - Piltovers Fresh, Councilor Fancy, and my personal favorite Shimmering Hammer)

- [ ] HAIR

While we’re talking about how Jayce looks I just know this man has a detailed multi product process for his hair, no one’s hair is that shiny and sits that perfect without trying

- [ ] Little spoon

I don’t feel the need to elaborate here, this man is the little spoon - Man or Female

- [ ] Firm Sleep Schedule

Was educated very early on of the importance of sleeping for full brain function and gets at least 7 hours every single night without fail. Constantly lecturing Vik on his lack of a sleeping schedule

- [ ] Divorced Dad Rock

Has a guilty pleasure for divorced dad rock (nickelback, daughtry, buck cherry, creed) but will never admit it, catch him at the lab early in the morning (before 7 AM) and you can catch him in full breakdown mode over Linkin Park

- [ ] Can’t cook BUT can bake

Will burn any type of meat, potato, or veggie you put in front of him but will make you a Flan without a single dent without thinking twice about it

- [ ] Sleeps with stuffed HexTech Plush

Cait or Mel got him this as a joke but he unironically lays on it to relax and then will fall asleep with it in his arms pretty consistently

- [ ] Board Game Nights

Him and Cait have a weekly game night where Caitlyn just destroys him every single time (this makes Jayce very distraught because his parents let him win every time as a kid)

- [ ] Coffee

Has a very detailed intricate coffee order that makes any barista immediately want to quit and gets the same coffee everyday at 7 AM like clockwork. Will also get Viktor his coffee which is just a straight cup of black every morning but not without making a grossed out face every time he hands it to him 🤢

- [ ] Allergies

Has a slight allergy to random stuff like tomatoes or wine but is too nice to decline so he’ll just suffer in silence (the allergy just makes his throat numb)

- [ ] Gets Zoomies

Coming from a background with so much manual labor sitting around all day messing with equations and hex tech absolutely takes a toll on him. He’s constantly pacing, jumping around, or doing some type of parkour off of the furniture in their lab

- [ ] Hates Movies but LOVES documentaries

This man cannot stand long form content that doesn’t have new information he could learn but loves to watch the discovery channel put on a 5 hour documentary about bananas and how they’re going extinct for the second time

- [ ] Bad Driver

I don’t remember a single car in Arcane BUT if Jayce had a car he would absolutely be a shit driver. Curbs? Those shouldn’t be in his way where he can’t see them.

- [ ] Social Meetings

This man loves to act extroverted but is incredibly shy and nervous about every conversation and absolutely goes over every possible topic that could arise in the shower that morning before going out (bonus: he fully acts out scenes of imaginary potential stressful situations in the mirror to always have a good comeback in the moment)

Working on a Pt 2 because I could talk about this man for YEARS but lemme know any other characters you wanna see headcannons for!